The Anons of Equestria: Chapter 2 (Trained Slacker)

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>”Give yourself some credit Mous, that takes some skill.”
“I don’t know half of what you said, but it sounded awesome.”
>”The hydra was just defending its territory, the p0nies should’ve known that. I should’ve too.
“But it was causing destruction to the countryside.”
>”Only where they impeded on its land. Its things like this that make me regret coming here.”
>”If it wasn’t you, it would’ve been someone else.”
>Mous wraps up his story and looks out the window, measuring the time till sundown.
>”We’ve got about an hour, anyone want to get a bite to eat?”
“I only have human money.”
>Anonymous rattles his coin purse, “Dinner’s on me boys.”
>”Such a bro.”
“Speaking of which, is he coming too?”
>Anonymous leans on the railing and shouts, “Hey queer, you coming?”
>”Fuck you.”
“I’d take as a no.”
>”You think?” Mous jokes.
>Your entourage heads out on the town, the p0nies still questioning your presence.
>Whatever. You have to tolerate them so they have to tolerate you. Fair’s fair.
>Your road leads you to a small restaurant, nothing fancy.
>The hostess is a bit startled when you walk through but she swiftly regains her composure.
>”Welcome to the Prime Green. How can I help you?”
>”Dinner for three, preferably a booth.”
>Picking up some menus she gestures you over to your dining area.
>Anonymous slides in one side and Mous on the other, leaving you a choice.
>You’re about to slide in, “You sit over there if you know what’s good for you,” Mous warns.
>You don’t need to be told twice and sit next to Anonymous.
>”Have I told you that I hate you Mous?”
>”Tell me about it later.”
>A Pegasus comes over, “Hiya boys, what can I get for you?”
“What’re the odds that you serve burgers?”
>Mous and Anonymous give you the death glare.
“What?”
>The Pegasus eases the tension, “While we don’t serve most meats or poultry there are other alternatives that we provide.”
>They look genuinely surprised by the response.
>”We have fresh fish, eggs, imported shellfish and other foods.”
“Can I order an omelet?”
>”Yes sir.”
>Oh lordy. You place a order for a loaded omelet.
>”I think I’ll have the same thing,” Anonymous says.
>”Make that three orders in total,” Mous finishes.
>”Alright, three loaded omelets and three fresh waters correct?”
“I think that’s just perfect.”
>”Alright, I’ll get that right for ya dear.”
>Anonymous punches your shoulder playfully, “Nice going. How’d you know they wouldn’t freak out?”
“I didn’t. I just figured that not only p0nies would eat here.”
>They think it over. “Damn. That’s a good point,” they laugh.
>You take dinner slow, even managing to enjoy yourself. They aren’t too bad.
>Anonymous shuts up quite abruptly and sit back in his seat.
“You alright?”
>He nods and finally breathes a few seconds later.
“You sure man, it’s like you saw a ghost?”
>”He just saw his little sweat heart isn’t that right?”
>”Shut up Mous,” he says fanning his shirt.
>”I know how you feel dude. It’s not easy just to let her walk.”
>You look to the p0ny that passed, cyan, rainbow mane.
>You remember them talking about some ‘Dash.’
“What’s her name?”
>”Rainbow Dash.”
>You nod and turn your head, the Pegasus right by your side, “You called.”
>Shit that’s freaky. She laughs at you, “Didn’t scare you now did I? So why are you talking about me?”
>Anonymous jumps in for you, “I was just saying how fast I heard you were.”
>She stands tall, “Fastest in Equestria.”
>He smiles, “Yeah.”
>She sits next to Mous without invitation, “So what are you guys?”
>”Human,” Mous says with obvious annoyance.
>”Well, you ‘humans’ any good at racing?”
“I’m not bad myself. I did some track in high school.”
>”Me too,” Anonymous cuts in, “I run quite a bit actually.”
>”How about you,” she asks Mous.
>He holds up his cane, “Marathon runner over here.”
>She giggles at him, “You’re too much. I might have to teach you who’s the fastest sometime.”
>”I might just hold you to that Dash.” Anonymous says hanging at her every word.
>She catches herself before she leaves, “I never got your names.”
“I’m Anon, the gentleman beside me is Anonymous, and that cheerful fellow is Mous.”
>”Anon, Mous and Anonymous? You all brothers or something?”
>Mous makes sure to get in first, “Thankfully no.”
>She covers her mouth to stop from laughing, “Oh my. You really are something. If you’re not too busy swing by Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow morning. I could use some running partners.”
>”We’ll see if we can,” Anonymous says playing cool.
>”Don’t make me wait,” she replies moving back to her table.
“You hate running don’t you?”
>”With a passion,” he responds, “But I love her more than I hate running.”
>The bill comes down and Anonymous does you all a solid.
>You all decide to head home, Anonymous bringing back half his omelet for his douchebag brother.
“We got some food for you Mickey!”
>He comes downstairs, thanking you and tearing into it.
“Don’t thank me, thank your brother.”
>He stops chewing and look to him, “What’d he do to it?”
“He didn’t eat it, for you.”
>”Just eat your damn food,” Mous says as he ascends the stairs.
>It takes him a few seconds, but his hunger soon overcomes his suspicions.
>You all head to bed shortly afterwards and get a good night’s sleep.
>You toss and turn in your sleep, images of home flashing over and over.
>They’re beckoning you, knowing you can’t possibly reach them.
>”You want to go home don’t you?”
>Yes, more than anything.
>It’s what you yearn for.
>”Then you know what you have to do.”
>You don’t know. How could you know?
>”Your family misses you, go home.”
>A hand presses against you and you spring up.
>It’s Anonymous the sneaky bastard, “About time, come on.”
>You rub your drowsy eyes, the sun not even up yet.
“What time is it?”
>”About four ‘o clock. Let’s go.”
>He pushes you out of bed and makes you get dressed.
“Damn dude, at least let me get something to eat.”
>”We’re going to Sweet ‘Apple’ Acres. Emphasis on the apple.”
“I figured.”
>He tiptoes down the stairs though you don’t make such an effort.
>The door opposite of yours swings open and Mickey looks out, “Where do you think you’re going.”
“Some race with Rainbow Dash.”
>He furrows his brow and looks to Anonymous, “I’ll be down in a sec.”
>When you get downstairs you find Anonymous glaring at you.
“What?”
>”Did it occur to you that I didn’t want him to go?”
“Why not? Oh…”
>He shakes his head and sits on the couch until Mickey gets downstairs.
>”Thanks for waiting Anon. I don’t want him getting any ideas.”
“Whatever, let’s just go.”
>You follow the dirt road out of Ponyville and head to some orchard type place.
>Anonymous takes the lead as it seems Mickey doesn’t know much about this place.
>You spot a large barn and house up ahead, an orange p0ny standing out front.
>”Well I’ll be. Didn’t expect y’all to show up. Dash told me a little about ya.”
>”Applejack,” Anonymous greets her, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. This here’s Anon and Mickey.”
>”Mickey? I thought his name was Mous?”
“There are five of us, Mous is still sleeping.”
>”Well why didn’t you say so in the first place? Dash is ‘round back.”
>Mickey stops his brother as we’re about to move on, “If you try anything…”
>”Dash is my girl, but we’ll see who she likes more.”
>Oh boy, two brothers fighting over the same girl.
>You find the Pegasus doing some stretches and she smiles as you approach.
>”I half expected you to stay home. Nice to find some new partners.”
“You can thank Anonymous, he’s the one who dragged me out of bed.”
>She nods to him, “Like the initiative. Who’s the friend?”
“Mickey, his brother.”
>”He’s cute,” she says, Mickey eyeing his brother with a smile.
>”You guys run the trail before? It can be quite the hall.”
>Anonymous slips off his jacket and limbers up, “I can get used to it.”
>You stretch your legs as Mickey chuckles, “Nothing a guy like me can’t handle.”
>Dash rolls her eyes and looks to you, “You ready?”
“Yeah, just needed to stretch a little. Don’t want to hurt myself.”
>”It’s good to know your limits,” Applejack says lining up with you.
>And you’re off.
>The pace is set by Dash who fluctuates between fast and slow.
>You manage to match her step per step, Applejack and Mickey following close behind.
>Anonymous… well he tries his best to keep up. Admirable actually…
>Rainbow makes idle chat with you while you jog along.
>When you aren’t looking, it’s not that different than talking with another person.
>She has hobbies and goes to work, she has a favorite team called the Wonderbolts.
>She’s real nice actually. Applejack and Mickey get to talking too, and Anonymous slips further and further away.
>When you turn around to check on him, he’s not there and you stop.
“Where’d Anonymous go?”
>”Took a break I reckon.”
>Dash asks Mickey to go back for him, “He should’ve known better. He never was the athletic type like me.”
>She stares icily at him, but he stays stubborn.
“I’ll get him.”
>You jog back and find him hunched over, hands on his knees, wheezing.
>”Oh- Hey- Anon. How’s- the run?”
“Fine, I came back to check on you. You good?”
>”Just perfect,” he gasps, “Should’ve stayed- in shape.”
>You grab his arm and pull it over your shoulder, “Thanks man.”
“No problem, it’s what pals do right?”
>The three of them are waiting when you return, Mickey trying to get cozy with Dash.
>He’s obviously failing.
>She looks to the two of you with a smile, “He doing alright?”
“Just got a bit winded.”
>”I just need someone to give me that little push, thanks again.”
“Like I said, it’s what pals do.”
>You swing back around and hit the barn, your stomach grumbling.
>Applejack excuses herself as she goes inside.
>Dash and the rest of you take turns freshening up, courtesy of AJ.
>She finishes cleaning up and sits next to you by the barn.
>”Good little run today. Company’s always pleasant.”
“Speaking of, what do you think of them?”
>She looks to the two brothers fighting over who gets the shower first.
>”That Mickey one is cute, has the body to go with it, but he’s a conceited…”
“Douche?”
>”Sounds right.”
“And how about Anonymous?”
>“He’s okay and obviously not athletic, but he’s a nice guy. I’d like to get to know him better actually.”
“You could always help him get in shape. I’m sure he wouldn’t protest.”
>”Might just do that.”
>”Soup’s on, everyp0ny!”
>Dash takes you by the hand and drags you inside the house, the other two following.
>”We don’t get much company so we pulled out all the stops,” AJ boasts.
>The bounty of food does more than impress.
>”We’ve got pancakes with apple syrup and apple butter, roasted potatoes with apples, apple cider, apple stew and our famous apple pie.”
>You’re surprised you jaw hasn’t fallen off.
“This looks amazing, thanks Applejack.”
>”Don’t mention it partner, we’re all friends here.”
>All hands and hooves reach towards the center and you look to each other.
>“Draw!”
>Syrup’s flung and taters are tossed, pie’s cut and stew’s devoured.
>The food tornado came through and destroyed everything in sight.
>You pick up a sponge while the others are giggling and laughing away, making sure to tidy this place up.
>For a time, maybe for just a few seconds, Anonymous and Mickey stopped fighting and just had fun.
>It’s nice to see, and you found yourself not thinking how Applejack was able to make food being a p0ny, and more how Applejack earned all those medals on the wall.
>Mickey joins you in your quest for cleanliness, “You got this side?”
“Could always use some help.”
>”It’s been a long time since- well since I’ve had some fun.”
“Thank your brother. Neither of us would’ve been here without him.”
>”Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
>Here we go…
>”I know that you don’t believe me, but just… watch him will ya?”
“Do you even hear yourself? He’s your brother for fuck’s sakes.”
>You keep your voice down as to not interrupt the evening.
>”You think I don’t know? He got me killed! My own brother!”
>His voice carries over and you pull him over and whisper in his ear.
“Keep your voice down, and if you expect me to believe that he,” you point to him, “Got you killed, you’re sorely mistaken.”
>”That’s not-“ he quiets down, “Just keep an eye on him for me. If he doesn’t do anything fine, if he does…”
>”If he does what?” AJ says standing next to you.
>”Oh I uh-“
“If he doesn’t help out, we’re going to have to kick his ass.”
>”Fighting words,” Anonymous jokes and joins you.
>AJ seems satisfied and walks away. “Good save,” Mickey replies with thanks.
>You finish your task and all head home, AJ kind enough to let you take some leftovers.
>Mous thanks you for the breakfast and you make idle chatter.
>He says that Twilight had stopped by earlier and told him to meet her at the Town Hall.
>She said it was important so you all make sure to get ready to go.
>You stroll down the street, your band attracting attention like usual.
>Hope this doesn’t become a habit.
>As much as you like being the center of attention, you’d rather it not be from a mass of p0nies.
>You find the large tower-like hall in the center of town and Mous knock on the door.
>He walks in, Twilight and a mature looking p0ny with a silverish-grey mane standing behind a desk.
>”So you’re the ones that Twilight told me about, please come in. I’m Mayor Mare.”
>You sit down while she goes over her stack of papers.
>”So you four are new to town is that correct?”
“Yes ma’am.”
>”And where are you from originally?”
>Mous saves you, “From out east in minotaur territory.”
>”Interesting, I’ve heard some things about there. Any family?”
>”No ma’am, but these two are brothers.”
>She looks over her glasses, “Is that right? Ah, now I see the resemblance.”
“So what’s all this about?”
>Twilight says she’s recording info for your citizenship in Ponyville.
>After she does that, then she can help you find a job.
>It’s only temporary Anon. Once you find a way back home this place’ll just be a memory.
>So you answer the questions and hope for the best.
>She processes the information for what feels like hours before shoving four certificates before us.
>”Sign at the bottom and you will officially live in Ponyville.”
>You sign your name at the bottom and slide it back, “Now we just need to put you all to work.”
>Twilight calls Anonymous out and asks if he’d like to serve as her assistant seeing as that’s what he did in the past.
>He accepts, the lucky bastard.
“Shouldn’t Duff be here?”
>”He already got this taken care of yesterday.”
>Damn that dude’s fast.
>The mayor looks over to Mous, “You know, Twilight has the right idea. Would you care to help me out?”
>Mous smiles, “I would be delighted to ma’am.”
>He sure knows how to charm a girl.
“So what about me and Mickey?”
>The mayor looks to Mickey curiously, “I’m not sure exactly what positions we have available for someone with your… qualifications.”
>”I can do anything that needs doing. If it requires muscle I’m there.”
>She flips through her sheets, “We do have an opening for construction work out in-“
>”I’ll take it.”
>She eyes him carefully, “Alright, if that’s what you want. So that just leaves you.”
“I hope you saved the best for last.”
>She takes her time, evaluating each one carefully, “Exactly what did you do back east Mr. Anon?”
“Area manager.”
>”Of?”
“It’s- well it’s complicated.”
>”I see,” she flips through the sheets once more.
“You do have a job for me right?”
>She sets down her list, “I’m sorry Anon. There doesn’t seem to be any jobs available right now.”
>You give her a blank stare.
“You were able to give those three jobs right on the spot, but then just, NOPE, no more jobs?”
>”That’s about right,” the mayor answers.
“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit.”
>Mous barks, “Watch your mouth!”
>Mickey has your back, “I’ve got to agree, this is crap.”
“So do you just expect me to lounge about all day? I’m not a mooch.”
>”We have a royal welfare program that might-“
“I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m not doing that.”
“If this is all you’re going to give me then I think we’re done here.”
>You stand up and walk out the door, scanning for someplace to go.
>You pick a direction and walk, your feet taking you back to a familiar building.
>No bits, damn. Well maybe the music won’t be bad.
>The interior isn’t all that busy and the music is kept low.
>There’s plenty of booths that’re open.
>”Well well, Anon. Come ‘round to say hello?”
>Duff sits off at the bar, his sidearm attached firmly to his leg.
>He beckons you over and slips a Dos Equus in your hand.
>”Have any problems yet?”
“I can name a few.”
>He chuckles and cracks his knuckles.
>You notice his shirt, a simple black but fine and new as well.
>”Where’d you get the goods?”
>He catches your drift, “First time I came around I had to get some new clothes, and it was a hassle let me tell ya. Thankfully I met a mare who fixed me up.”
“You’ll have to introduce me.”
>He breathes deep his face having ‘no’ written all over it, “She’s a bit much. I wasn’t all that thrilled to see her again.”
“How bad can she be?”
>”Don’t get me started. I was lucky enough to have remembered my measurements.”
“Still though, it’d give me something to do. Not like I have a job.”
>”So that’s with that glum look. I’d love to set you up here, but my charm only goes so far.”
“Yeah I could tell. What’s her face sure seemed to like you.”
>”Me and Vinyl were good friends back in the day. I just know what makes her tick.”
“She wouldn’t happen to be where you’re bunking is it?”
>”Don’t get any smarmy ideas. Vinyl’s a nice lass, but that’s all she’ll be. Until I find a ring.”
>You choke on your beer, Duff laughing his ass off. He pats you on the back.
>“I’m just fucking with you. She is special to me though so don’t try to act sly.”
”Next time I want to score some ‘pony-tang’ I’ll be sure to check in with you.”
>“There are some mares around here I think you’d like,” he says getting up.
“Don’t you dare!”
>He plops back down with that smug grin on his face, “You are too easy to get riled up.”
>Damn he’s a dick, but he is funny, so I guess that makes it okay.
>If someone’s going to make you feel better, it’s him.
>As things begin to pick up you join Duff in his rounds.
>He has to throw out a p0ny or two, but things stay calm for the most part.
>Well, as calm is it can be in a club with booze and loud ass music.
>He makes sure you stay nice and boozed, though you only drink two bottles.
>Duff looks to the entrance and tries to turn away, “Oh for fuck’s sake..”
“What’s the problem?”
>”Duff! I didn’t know you worked here,” a high pitched squeal comes out of right field.
>You take a chance and look to the siren’s wail as a white unicorn comes along with a yellow Pegasus at her rear.
>”Oh, hello Rarity.”
“So you’re Rarity,” you say exaggerating the ‘you’re.’
>”I’m sorry, have we met?”
“No such luck,” you reply putting on your most gentlemanly act, “My name is Anon.”
>”Hmm, a gentlecolt I see. My name is Miss Rarity, though you can just call me Rarity.”
>Her companion tries to hide behind her but her pink mane gives her away.
“And who’s your friend?”
>Rarity steps out of the way, the Pegasus *eeping* and tries to hide behind her hair.
>Okay, even for a p0ny, she’s fucking adorable.
>”This shy little thing is Fluttershy.”
>One of her crystal blue eyes meets yours, “Umm… hi…”
>Her voice is so quiet you can barely hear her over the music.
“Nice to meet you two.”
>Duff gives you a look of warning before conveniently spotting a troublemaker.
>He hurries off and leaves you alone with the two of them. Clever…
>”Care to buy two mares a drink.”
“Wish I could, but I’d need money for that. Just got into town.”
>”Oh you poor dear. I wish there was something I could do.”
“It’s alright. Things always work out in the end. I hope.”
>”Drinks are on me tonight then, would you care to join us?”
“I’d be honored,” you nod graciously.
>She looks to Fluttershy, “Grab him while you can.”
>Her cheeks flush red at the statement. You slide into a booth, Fluttershy plopped next to you by Rarity.
>You scooch inwards and give her more room.
>You manage to get a glimpse of a smile, the sight soothing you.
>Strange, no one’s been able to do that so easily.
>”So Anon, how’s the love life?”
>Oh it’s going to be a long night.
>Rarity is… not as bad as Duff made her out to be.
>Sure she’s got that hoity toity attitude, but she’s earned it.
>She’s boasted about her fame in the fashion industry, hell even her popularity in Ponyville.
>Fluttershy even spoke up to attest to that.
>You’ve looked over bigger personality flaws in friends and she shouldn’t be any different.
>It might be premature to call her a friend, but she certainly has that friendly social quality about her.
>You don’t get to know Fluttershy that well, but you’d like to.
>She’s like the little sister you never had, always scared and needing her big brother to scare the monsters away.
>That’s a nice thought actually.
>Before you know it the night comes to an end and you have to leave, shame.
>You thank Rarity once again for her generosity and give a quiet goodbye to Fluttershy.
>Today wasn’t the best day in the world, but it certainly wasn’t bad.
>Sure you’ll be stuck with tons of free time to mooch off the other productive members of your misfit band of brothers.
>But that also could give you more time to get to know the people here.
>You’ll take a page out of Duff’s book and see Rarity about clothes, no matter how much that feels like copying.
>Maybe you’ll talk to Twilight too. Apologize for your behavior and see if she knows of any way to get you back home.
>She seems to understand this more than you do after all.
>But the moon is high and the crickets chirp.
>Real Shakespearean shit out here.
>You need to take a load off.
>Meanwhile in Canterlot castle…
>You burst through the doors out of breath, hands still dripping.
>She’s where she usually is, standing by the window and staring at the moonlit sky.
“I- I did it. I did as you asked.”
>”Good,” she says with a purr, “And how did it feel?”
>It pains you to admit it, you’d done so well to get away from all this.
“Good.”
>”Only good?” she turns around with her blue slit eyes upon you.
“No! It- it was-“ you sigh, “amazing…”
>She hums to herself, “I’m proud of you my little Anon.”
>She looks back out the window, her smoky violet mane swaying in the breeze.
>”Get freshened up. I have another assignment for you.”
“A-another?”
>”Would you say no to me Anon? After all we’ve been through?”
>She’s right. If she needs something done, you’re the man to do it. For her.
“Name the target and he’s as good as dead.”
>She smiles, “That’s what I like to hear.”

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>”Give yourself some credit Mous, that takes some skill.”
“I don’t know half of what you said, but it sounded awesome.”
>”The hydra was just defending its territory, the p0nies should’ve known that. I should’ve too.
“But it was causing destruction to the countryside.”
>”Only where they impeded on its land. Its things like this that make me regret coming here.”
>”If it wasn’t you, it would’ve been someone else.”
>Mous wraps up his story and looks out the window, measuring the time till sundown.
>”We’ve got about an hour, anyone want to get a bite to eat?”
“I only have human money.”
>Anonymous rattles his coin purse, “Dinner’s on me boys.”
>”Such a bro.”

“Speaking of which, is he coming too?”
>Anonymous leans on the railing and shouts, “Hey queer, you coming?”
>”Fuck you.”
“I’d take as a no.”
>”You think?” Mous jokes.
>Your entourage heads out on the town, the p0nies still questioning your presence.
>Whatever. You have to tolerate them so they have to tolerate you. Fair’s fair.
>Your road leads you to a small restaurant, nothing fancy.
>The hostess is a bit startled when you walk through but she swiftly regains her composure.
>”Welcome to the Prime Green. How can I help you?”
>”Dinner for three, preferably a booth.”
>Picking up some menus she gestures you over to your dining area.

>Anonymous slides in one side and Mous on the other, leaving you a choice.
>You’re about to slide in, “You sit over there if you know what’s good for you,” Mous warns.
>You don’t need to be told twice and sit next to Anonymous.
>”Have I told you that I hate you Mous?”
>”Tell me about it later.”
>A Pegasus comes over, “Hiya boys, what can I get for you?”
“What’re the odds that you serve burgers?”
>Mous and Anonymous give you the death glare.
“What?”
>The Pegasus eases the tension, “While we don’t serve most meats or poultry there are other alternatives that we provide.”
>They look genuinely surprised by the response.

>”We have fresh fish, eggs, imported shellfish and other foods.”
“Can I order an omelet?”
>”Yes sir.”
>Oh lordy. You place a order for a loaded omelet.
>”I think I’ll have the same thing,” Anonymous says.
>”Make that three orders in total,” Mous finishes.
>”Alright, three loaded omelets and three fresh waters correct?”
“I think that’s just perfect.”
>”Alright, I’ll get that right for ya dear.”
>Anonymous punches your shoulder playfully, “Nice going. How’d you know they wouldn’t freak out?”
“I didn’t. I just figured that not only p0nies would eat here.”
>They think it over. “Damn. That’s a good point,” they laugh.

>You take dinner slow, even managing to enjoy yourself. They aren’t too bad.
>Anonymous shuts up quite abruptly and sit back in his seat.
“You alright?”
>He nods and finally breathes a few seconds later.
“You sure man, it’s like you saw a ghost?”
>”He just saw his little sweat heart isn’t that right?”
>”Shut up Mous,” he says fanning his shirt.
>”I know how you feel dude. It’s not easy just to let her walk.”
>You look to the p0ny that passed, cyan, rainbow mane.
>You remember them talking about some ‘Dash.’
“What’s her name?”
>”Rainbow Dash.”

>You nod and turn your head, the Pegasus right by your side, “You called.”
>Shit that’s freaky. She laughs at you, “Didn’t scare you now did I? So why are you talking about me?”
>Anonymous jumps in for you, “I was just saying how fast I heard you were.”
>She stands tall, “Fastest in Equestria.”
>He smiles, “Yeah.”
>She sits next to Mous without invitation, “So what are you guys?”
>”Human,” Mous says with obvious annoyance.
>”Well, you ‘humans’ any good at racing?”
“I’m not bad myself. I did some track in high school.”
>”Me too,” Anonymous cuts in, “I run quite a bit actually.”
>”How about you,” she asks Mous.
>He holds up his cane, “Marathon runner over here.”

>She giggles at him, “You’re too much. I might have to teach you who’s the fastest sometime.”
>”I might just hold you to that Dash.” Anonymous says hanging at her every word.
>She catches herself before she leaves, “I never got your names.”
“I’m Anon, the gentleman beside me is Anonymous, and that cheerful fellow is Mous.”
>”Anon, Mous and Anonymous? You all brothers or something?”
>Mous makes sure to get in first, “Thankfully no.”
>She covers her mouth to stop from laughing, “Oh my. You really are something. If you’re not too busy swing by Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow morning. I could use some running partners.”
>”We’ll see if we can,” Anonymous says playing cool.
>”Don’t make me wait,” she replies moving back to her table.

“You hate running don’t you?”
>”With a passion,” he responds, “But I love her more than I hate running.”
>The bill comes down and Anonymous does you all a solid.
>You all decide to head home, Anonymous bringing back half his omelet for his douchebag brother.
“We got some food for you Mickey!”
>He comes downstairs, thanking you and tearing into it.
“Don’t thank me, thank your brother.”
>He stops chewing and look to him, “What’d he do to it?”
“He didn’t eat it, for you.”
>”Just eat your damn food,” Mous says as he ascends the stairs.
>It takes him a few seconds, but his hunger soon overcomes his suspicions.
>You all head to bed shortly afterwards and get a good night’s sleep.

>You toss and turn in your sleep, images of home flashing over and over.
>They’re beckoning you, knowing you can’t possibly reach them.
>”You want to go home don’t you?”
>Yes, more than anything.
>It’s what you yearn for.
>”Then you know what you have to do.”
>You don’t know. How could you know?
>”Your family misses you, go home.”
>A hand presses against you and you spring up.
>It’s Anonymous the sneaky bastard, “About time, come on.”
>You rub your drowsy eyes, the sun not even up yet.
“What time is it?”
>”About four ‘o clock. Let’s go.”

>He pushes you out of bed and makes you get dressed.
“Damn dude, at least let me get something to eat.”
>”We’re going to Sweet ‘Apple’ Acres. Emphasis on the apple.”
“I figured.”
>He tiptoes down the stairs though you don’t make such an effort.
>The door opposite of yours swings open and Mickey looks out, “Where do you think you’re going.”
“Some race with Rainbow Dash.”
>He furrows his brow and looks to Anonymous, “I’ll be down in a sec.”
>When you get downstairs you find Anonymous glaring at you.
“What?”
>”Did it occur to you that I didn’t want him to go?”
“Why not? Oh…”

>He shakes his head and sits on the couch until Mickey gets downstairs.
>”Thanks for waiting Anon. I don’t want him getting any ideas.”
“Whatever, let’s just go.”
>You follow the dirt road out of Ponyville and head to some orchard type place.
>Anonymous takes the lead as it seems Mickey doesn’t know much about this place.
>You spot a large barn and house up ahead, an orange p0ny standing out front.
>”Well I’ll be. Didn’t expect y’all to show up. Dash told me a little about ya.”
>”Applejack,” Anonymous greets her, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. This here’s Anon and Mickey.”
>”Mickey? I thought his name was Mous?”
“There are five of us, Mous is still sleeping.”
>”Well why didn’t you say so in the first place? Dash is ‘round back.”
>Mickey stops his brother as we’re about to move on, “If you try anything…”
>”Dash is my girl, but we’ll see who she likes more.”
>Oh boy, two brothers fighting over the same girl.

>You find the Pegasus doing some stretches and she smiles as you approach.
>”I half expected you to stay home. Nice to find some new partners.”
“You can thank Anonymous, he’s the one who dragged me out of bed.”
>She nods to him, “Like the initiative. Who’s the friend?”
“Mickey, his brother.”
>”He’s cute,” she says, Mickey eyeing his brother with a smile.
>”You guys run the trail before? It can be quite the hall.”
>Anonymous slips off his jacket and limbers up, “I can get used to it.”
>You stretch your legs as Mickey chuckles, “Nothing a guy like me can’t handle.”
>Dash rolls her eyes and looks to you, “You ready?”
“Yeah, just needed to stretch a little. Don’t want to hurt myself.”
>”It’s good to know your limits,” Applejack says lining up with you.
>And you’re off.

>The pace is set by Dash who fluctuates between fast and slow.
>You manage to match her step per step, Applejack and Mickey following close behind.
>Anonymous… well he tries his best to keep up. Admirable actually…
>Rainbow makes idle chat with you while you jog along.
>When you aren’t looking, it’s not that different than talking with another person.
>She has hobbies and goes to work, she has a favorite team called the Wonderbolts.
>She’s real nice actually. Applejack and Mickey get to talking too, and Anonymous slips further and further away.
>When you turn around to check on him, he’s not there and you stop.
“Where’d Anonymous go?”
>”Took a break I reckon.”
>Dash asks Mickey to go back for him, “He should’ve known better. He never was the athletic type like me.”
>She stares icily at him, but he stays stubborn.
“I’ll get him.”

>You jog back and find him hunched over, hands on his knees, wheezing.
>”Oh- Hey- Anon. How’s- the run?”
“Fine, I came back to check on you. You good?”
>”Just perfect,” he gasps, “Should’ve stayed- in shape.”
>You grab his arm and pull it over your shoulder, “Thanks man.”
“No problem, it’s what pals do right?”
>The three of them are waiting when you return, Mickey trying to get cozy with Dash.
>He’s obviously failing.
>She looks to the two of you with a smile, “He doing alright?”
“Just got a bit winded.”
>”I just need someone to give me that little push, thanks again.”
“Like I said, it’s what pals do.”

>You swing back around and hit the barn, your stomach grumbling.
>Applejack excuses herself as she goes inside.
>Dash and the rest of you take turns freshening up, courtesy of AJ.
>She finishes cleaning up and sits next to you by the barn.
>”Good little run today. Company’s always pleasant.”
“Speaking of, what do you think of them?”
>She looks to the two brothers fighting over who gets the shower first.
>”That Mickey one is cute, has the body to go with it, but he’s a conceited…”
“Douche?”
>”Sounds right.”
“And how about Anonymous?”
>“He’s okay and obviously not athletic, but he’s a nice guy. I’d like to get to know him better actually.”
“You could always help him get in shape. I’m sure he wouldn’t protest.”
>”Might just do that.”

>”Soup’s on, everyp0ny!”
>Dash takes you by the hand and drags you inside the house, the other two following.
>”We don’t get much company so we pulled out all the stops,” AJ boasts.
>The bounty of food does more than impress.
>”We’ve got pancakes with apple syrup and apple butter, roasted potatoes with apples, apple cider, apple stew and our famous apple pie.”
>You’re surprised you jaw hasn’t fallen off.
“This looks amazing, thanks Applejack.”
>”Don’t mention it partner, we’re all friends here.”
>All hands and hooves reach towards the center and you look to each other.
>“Draw!”

>Syrup’s flung and taters are tossed, pie’s cut and stew’s devoured.
>The food tornado came through and destroyed everything in sight.
>You pick up a sponge while the others are giggling and laughing away, making sure to tidy this place up.
>For a time, maybe for just a few seconds, Anonymous and Mickey stopped fighting and just had fun.
>It’s nice to see, and you found yourself not thinking how Applejack was able to make food being a p0ny, and more how Applejack earned all those medals on the wall.
>Mickey joins you in your quest for cleanliness, “You got this side?”
“Could always use some help.”
>”It’s been a long time since- well since I’ve had some fun.”
“Thank your brother. Neither of us would’ve been here without him.”
>”Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
>Here we go…

>”I know that you don’t believe me, but just… watch him will ya?”
“Do you even hear yourself? He’s your brother for fuck’s sakes.”
>You keep your voice down as to not interrupt the evening.
>”You think I don’t know? He got me killed! My own brother!”
>His voice carries over and you pull him over and whisper in his ear.
“Keep your voice down, and if you expect me to believe that he,” you point to him, “Got you killed, you’re sorely mistaken.”
>”That’s not-“ he quiets down, “Just keep an eye on him for me. If he doesn’t do anything fine, if he does…”
>”If he does what?” AJ says standing next to you.
>”Oh I uh-“
“If he doesn’t help out, we’re going to have to kick his ass.”
>”Fighting words,” Anonymous jokes and joins you.
>AJ seems satisfied and walks away. “Good save,” Mickey replies with thanks.

>You finish your task and all head home, AJ kind enough to let you take some leftovers.
>Mous thanks you for the breakfast and you make idle chatter.
>He says that Twilight had stopped by earlier and told him to meet her at the Town Hall.
>She said it was important so you all make sure to get ready to go.
>You stroll down the street, your band attracting attention like usual.
>Hope this doesn’t become a habit.
>As much as you like being the center of attention, you’d rather it not be from a mass of p0nies.
>You find the large tower-like hall in the center of town and Mous knock on the door.
>He walks in, Twilight and a mature looking p0ny with a silverish-grey mane standing behind a desk.
>”So you’re the ones that Twilight told me about, please come in. I’m Mayor Mare.”
>You sit down while she goes over her stack of papers.

>”So you four are new to town is that correct?”
“Yes ma’am.”
>”And where are you from originally?”
>Mous saves you, “From out east in minotaur territory.”
>”Interesting, I’ve heard some things about there. Any family?”
>”No ma’am, but these two are brothers.”
>She looks over her glasses, “Is that right? Ah, now I see the resemblance.”
“So what’s all this about?”
>Twilight says she’s recording info for your citizenship in Ponyville.
>After she does that, then she can help you find a job.
>It’s only temporary Anon. Once you find a way back home this place’ll just be a memory.
>So you answer the questions and hope for the best.

>She processes the information for what feels like hours before shoving four certificates before us.
>”Sign at the bottom and you will officially live in Ponyville.”
>You sign your name at the bottom and slide it back, “Now we just need to put you all to work.”
>Twilight calls Anonymous out and asks if he’d like to serve as her assistant seeing as that’s what he did in the past.
>He accepts, the lucky bastard.
“Shouldn’t Duff be here?”
>”He already got this taken care of yesterday.”
>Damn that dude’s fast.
>The mayor looks over to Mous, “You know, Twilight has the right idea. Would you care to help me out?”
>Mous smiles, “I would be delighted to ma’am.”
>He sure knows how to charm a girl.

“So what about me and Mickey?”
>The mayor looks to Mickey curiously, “I’m not sure exactly what positions we have available for someone with your… qualifications.”
>”I can do anything that needs doing. If it requires muscle I’m there.”
>She flips through her sheets, “We do have an opening for construction work out in-“
>”I’ll take it.”
>She eyes him carefully, “Alright, if that’s what you want. So that just leaves you.”
“I hope you saved the best for last.”
>She takes her time, evaluating each one carefully, “Exactly what did you do back east Mr. Anon?”
“Area manager.”
>”Of?”
“It’s- well it’s complicated.”
>”I see,” she flips through the sheets once more.

“You do have a job for me right?”
>She sets down her list, “I’m sorry Anon. There doesn’t seem to be any jobs available right now.”
>You give her a blank stare.
“You were able to give those three jobs right on the spot, but then just, NOPE, no more jobs?”
>”That’s about right,” the mayor answers.
“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit.”
>Mous barks, “Watch your mouth!”
>Mickey has your back, “I’ve got to agree, this is crap.”
“So do you just expect me to lounge about all day? I’m not a mooch.”
>”We have a royal welfare program that might-“
“I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m not doing that.”

“If this is all you’re going to give me then I think we’re done here.”
>You stand up and walk out the door, scanning for someplace to go.
>You pick a direction and walk, your feet taking you back to a familiar building.
>No bits, damn. Well maybe the music won’t be bad.
>The interior isn’t all that busy and the music is kept low.
>There’s plenty of booths that’re open.
>”Well well, Anon. Come ‘round to say hello?”
>Duff sits off at the bar, his sidearm attached firmly to his leg.
>He beckons you over and slips a Dos Equus in your hand.
>”Have any problems yet?”
“I can name a few.”
>He chuckles and cracks his knuckles.

>You notice his shirt, a simple black but fine and new as well.
>”Where’d you get the goods?”
>He catches your drift, “First time I came around I had to get some new clothes, and it was a hassle let me tell ya. Thankfully I met a mare who fixed me up.”
“You’ll have to introduce me.”
>He breathes deep his face having ‘no’ written all over it, “She’s a bit much. I wasn’t all that thrilled to see her again.”
“How bad can she be?”
>”Don’t get me started. I was lucky enough to have remembered my measurements.”
“Still though, it’d give me something to do. Not like I have a job.”
>”So that’s with that glum look. I’d love to set you up here, but my charm only goes so far.”
“Yeah I could tell. What’s her face sure seemed to like you.”

>”Me and Vinyl were good friends back in the day. I just know what makes her tick.”
“She wouldn’t happen to be where you’re bunking is it?”
>”Don’t get any smarmy ideas. Vinyl’s a nice lass, but that’s all she’ll be. Until I find a ring.”
>You choke on your beer, Duff laughing his ass off. He pats you on the back.
>“I’m just fucking with you. She is special to me though so don’t try to act sly.”
”Next time I want to score some ‘pony-tang’ I’ll be sure to check in with you.”
>“There are some mares around here I think you’d like,” he says getting up.
“Don’t you dare!”
>He plops back down with that smug grin on his face, “You are too easy to get riled up.”
>Damn he’s a dick, but he is funny, so I guess that makes it okay.
>If someone’s going to make you feel better, it’s him.

>As things begin to pick up you join Duff in his rounds.
>He has to throw out a p0ny or two, but things stay calm for the most part.
>Well, as calm is it can be in a club with booze and loud ass music.
>He makes sure you stay nice and boozed, though you only drink two bottles.
>Duff looks to the entrance and tries to turn away, “Oh for fuck’s sake..”
“What’s the problem?”
>”Duff! I didn’t know you worked here,” a high pitched squeal comes out of right field.
>You take a chance and look to the siren’s wail as a white unicorn comes along with a yellow Pegasus at her rear.
>”Oh, hello Rarity.”
“So you’re Rarity,” you say exaggerating the ‘you’re.’
>”I’m sorry, have we met?”
“No such luck,” you reply putting on your most gentlemanly act, “My name is Anon.”
>”Hmm, a gentlecolt I see. My name is Miss Rarity, though you can just call me Rarity.”

>Her companion tries to hide behind her but her pink mane gives her away.
“And who’s your friend?”
>Rarity steps out of the way, the Pegasus *eeping* and tries to hide behind her hair.
>Okay, even for a p0ny, she’s fucking adorable.
>”This shy little thing is Fluttershy.”
>One of her crystal blue eyes meets yours, “Umm… hi…”
>Her voice is so quiet you can barely hear her over the music.
“Nice to meet you two.”
>Duff gives you a look of warning before conveniently spotting a troublemaker.
>He hurries off and leaves you alone with the two of them. Clever…
>”Care to buy two mares a drink.”
“Wish I could, but I’d need money for that. Just got into town.”

>”Oh you poor dear. I wish there was something I could do.”
“It’s alright. Things always work out in the end. I hope.”
>”Drinks are on me tonight then, would you care to join us?”
“I’d be honored,” you nod graciously.
>She looks to Fluttershy, “Grab him while you can.”
>Her cheeks flush red at the statement. You slide into a booth, Fluttershy plopped next to you by Rarity.
>You scooch inwards and give her more room.
>You manage to get a glimpse of a smile, the sight soothing you.
>Strange, no one’s been able to do that so easily.
>”So Anon, how’s the love life?”
>Oh it’s going to be a long night.

>Rarity is… not as bad as Duff made her out to be.
>Sure she’s got that hoity toity attitude, but she’s earned it.
>She’s boasted about her fame in the fashion industry, hell even her popularity in Ponyville.
>Fluttershy even spoke up to attest to that.
>You’ve looked over bigger personality flaws in friends and she shouldn’t be any different.
>It might be premature to call her a friend, but she certainly has that friendly social quality about her.
>You don’t get to know Fluttershy that well, but you’d like to.
>She’s like the little sister you never had, always scared and needing her big brother to scare the monsters away.
>That’s a nice thought actually.

>Before you know it the night comes to an end and you have to leave, shame.
>You thank Rarity once again for her generosity and give a quiet goodbye to Fluttershy.
>Today wasn’t the best day in the world, but it certainly wasn’t bad.
>Sure you’ll be stuck with tons of free time to mooch off the other productive members of your misfit band of brothers.
>But that also could give you more time to get to know the people here.
>You’ll take a page out of Duff’s book and see Rarity about clothes, no matter how much that feels like copying.
>Maybe you’ll talk to Twilight too. Apologize for your behavior and see if she knows of any way to get you back home.
>She seems to understand this more than you do after all.
>But the moon is high and the crickets chirp.
>Real Shakespearean shit out here.
>You need to take a load off.

>Meanwhile in Canterlot castle…
>You burst through the doors out of breath, hands still dripping.
>She’s where she usually is, standing by the window and staring at the moonlit sky.
“I- I did it. I did as you asked.”
>”Good,” she says with a purr, “And how did it feel?”
>It pains you to admit it, you’d done so well to get away from all this.
“Good.”
>”Only good?” she turns around with her blue slit eyes upon you.
“No! It- it was-“ you sigh, “amazing…”
>She hums to herself, “I’m proud of you my little Anon.”
>She looks back out the window, her smoky violet mane swaying in the breeze.
>”Get freshened up. I have another assignment for you.”
“A-another?”
>”Would you say no to me Anon? After all we’ve been through?”
>She’s right. If she needs something done, you’re the man to do it. For her.
“Name the target and he’s as good as dead.”
>She smiles, “That’s what I like to hear.”

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