Title: LNPP from thread 110 (Cousin Peach) Author: Asian_Anon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/yTYsmZyD First Edit: Monday 22nd of August 2016 08:39:25 PM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Monday 12th of September 2016 04:50:09 AM CDT 551_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~ >Welcome to Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and conclusions can be temporarily skipped when folks are sleepy, but still want something to happen! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Howdy, y'all."   >While I'm still in this format, have you ever smashed an apple on somepony's face?   "Well one time, me and mah cousin Peach got in a fight right. Ah think it was over something silly like, what was going to go into the gumbo. Anyway at one point things got pretty physical and we ended up in the mud hole. Then we-"   >Uh okay that's enough. We're out of time now.   "Oh...well if ya want to ever hear the whole story, Ah can always-"   >That's our show and thanks for tuning in! AJ wakes up.   "Aw...well cousin Peach discovered what can fit in her rectum that day."   552_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' [Luna] ~~~~ >Welcome to Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and a season has ended!   [We gave you one job. Imagine our surprise when we came back. Not only was the dream door burned down, everything was on fire.]   >She opened the box as soon as you left! After we dealt with nightmare, we thought we were done.   "The door was still intact when we left and I swear she wasn't burning down her town the last time we saw her!"   'They got frustrated you didn't tell them when you were coming back. I told them we shouldn't have left, but they went anyway. I had to keep them out of trouble.'   [...she opened the box and you still managed to contain her glass shadows? ...that's actually impressive considering I was expecting them to keep you busy for quite some time. ]   >So we did good?   [...We will address this some other time. The dream eaters coming back is concerning. Their voracious appetite will eventually make them turn to pony dreams if they are unable to find a steady supply of dreams to eat.]   >What are you going to do now?   [The guards and I will handle it for now, but the services of the P-team may be needed in the future. I'd rather not admit it, but since you've been able to handle yourselves without my help, it...it means you may actually be capable of more serious assignments.]   >Yay! We couldn't have done it if Cadence hadn't seen through his disguise!   "...Oh yeeeah that's right. What was up with that? I couldn't believe you girls didn't notice his blue tusks."   [...2 tusks, or blue tusks?]   "Blue tusks, of course!"   'They were white, Cadence.'   "That's silly, that'd be a lot of tusks. There were only blue tusks."   [...it appears your warped perception from love allows you bo be unaffected by their disguise. Noted. For now, enjoy the rest of your dream and have a good night.]   >Welp, I guess that's the end of our arc. I hope folks enjoyed themselves! BYE!!!   553_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon Cut Extra >Pinkie 'DT' ~~~~ 'I see your dreamhouse made it just fine. I thought it was going to be eaten for sure.'   >Nope, it's not like Applejack's barn. My dreamhouse is made of sturdy stuff!   '...gingerbread is sturdy?' Dreamhouse collapses   >...NOOOOO!   554_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Applejack" ~~~~ >Welcome to Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we're back to our regular schedule! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Howdy y'all"   >What has been your favorite place to visit when traveling?   "Hmmm...that's a tough one. Almost all of them have been a unique memory. Like this one time, me and mah cousin Peach went to Hayseed Swamps and she decided to wrestle an alligator. Now she never wrestled an alligator before, but we've wrestled pretty hard together in the past and she figured how hard could it be to do the same thing to an alligator? She apparently didn't know about the death roll thing that alligators can do. Long story short, she ended up with bite marks on 75% of her body and nearly drowned. This could have been a cautionary tale about overconfidence, but after she opened her eyes. Her first words were Did Ah win, because gator was rigged if Ah didn't. Good old cousin Peach was nev-"   >Okay, AJ you're eating up our time. Now that's our show and enjoy the rest of your night everypony!   "Wait, Ah didn't mention the part where-" AJ wakes up.   "...Aw there were crawdads involved too."   555_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Applejack" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I got gags to keep up! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Howdy again."   >We've been getting demands to have you more lately. Why don't you do more public appearances?   "It's kind of a long story, but-"   >Could you shorten it then? My show doesn't really have much air ti-   "It all started when this one time me and mah cousin Peach were-"   >Oh okay you've already started.   "-so obviously we needed to prove we knew how to hula dance even though we didn't know a thing about hula dancing. When we got on stage for the audience, we hula danced like so hard that we broke our hips on stage in a terrible hula accident, so we became known as 2 girls and 1 coconut for months. It was a real important event though, because I learned that honesty is the best policy. Cousin Peach learned it rather late though 'cause there was another time where-"   >OKAY WE'RE OUT OF TIME! Thanks for joining us and have a good day!   "Wait there's some-" AJ wakes up.   "-giant lobsters in this one. Awww...mah stories aren't long are they?"   556_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Applejack" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and it's nice to have breathers! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "We've got to stop meeting like this."   >Have you ever come across anything odd while traveling?   "Well this one time, me and mah cousin Peach were-"   >Is there anything you didn't do with your Cousin Peach?   ".....so we were walking on the road, when we notice there was an old stick of dynamite on the side."   >What was with that pause? Wait dynamite? What happened?   "It was old, so it was too risky to pick up and move it, so we decided to try and blow it up in a controlled manner before something else does. We came back with sandbags to smother the explosion and used a long pole to light it from behind cover. It went well."   >...that's it?   "Yup, no one got hurt. You'd think cousin Peach would get hurt fer sure in that one, but we did it just fine. Sometimes you have to blow up the problem. Now what happened afterward is a different story 'cause-"   >And that's all the time we have right now! Thanks for joining us and have a good night!   "But this one cousin Peach managed to break-" AJ wakes up.   "-all her legs...aw. Ah thought it was a story worth telling anyway"   557_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Applejack" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but some people need to get stories out of their heads! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Howdy hey."   >We're going to be playing a game called Crossing! I'm playing as an illegal Mexicolt trying to cross the border. Applejack is going to be the border patrol agent guarding this picket fence!   "...Ah feel uncomfortable with this...and that Ah'm only the border patrol agent on account of mah hat."   Pinkie puts on a moustache, sombrero, and a poncho. >Shut up and play! Game on!   AJ puts on sunglasses. "You're not getting pass mah border, ya hear?"   >Oh I'm getting pass, but first listen to the song of my people! Pinkie takes out instruments and starts playing La Chona. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQHNfA10QoQ   "......this is kinda catchy." Pinkie winks and does a little dance. "..." AJ starts bobbing her head to the music. Pinkie smiles and swings her hip to the beat. "More cowbell!"   >I'm over!   AJ turns around and sees Pinkie on her side of the fence. "Wait what?" Looks back and sees a balloon pinkie deflate. "How in the hay-"   >I WIN! That's all the time we have right now, so I'll catch you all next time!   "But how did you even-"   >Earth pony magic! AJ wakes up "...but that doesn't...Ah don't even...Ah don't know why Ah should even try with her."