Title:           LNPP from thread 100
Author:          Asian_Anon
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/N376PJWv
First Edit:      Monday 22nd of August 2016 12:47:16 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 22nd of August 2016 12:47:16 AM CDT

482_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and this is already non-canon, so I get a pass! Now...for the 100th thread!
 
'For the last time, it's a ball of yarn!'
 
"...maybe it is a thread."
 
'She's getting in your head. It's clearly yarn not a thread!'
 
"But what does it mean?"
 
>It means we're getting closer to Princess Luna!
 
'...I'm not following the logic on this one.'
 
>Thread is Rarity's thing. If we follow it, it'll lead us to Luna.
 
'...You know what...okay.'
 
"Look over there! What's that?"
Something walks out of a dark corner.
"Awww it's a puppy!"
 
>Wait, that's no ordinary puppy.
Looks closer. It's made of yarn.
*ARF*
"It's adorable!"
 
More yarn puppies show up.
 
>...maybe you should drop that puppy.
 
"Why?"
They all open their mouths and sharp knitting needles are revealed.
"Uh oh."
DT slams TBDRLIATU in front of Cadence and generates an energy riot shield. The knitting needles rapidly fire from the yarn puppies hitting the shield.
*TING TING TING TING TING TING*
 
>Behind us!
Puppies line up and open fire. Pinkie moves quickly up and down to block and deflect the knitting needles with her hooves.
>Uh girls?
 
"I have this!"
Cadence fires a magic blast from her horn into the litter of puppies. In the smoke, even more needles are fired.
 
"Not helping!"
Quilted kittens fall from the ceiling and pounce.
 
"Not the face!"
 
'I should have known kittens were evil!'
She smacks one away. The kitten lands on it's feet and shoots lasers from it's eyes.
*MEW MEW MEW*
DT contorts her body in various positions to dodge the shots.
'WHY DO THEY HAVE LASERS!?!'
 
[MOONLIGHT GAZE]
A tall silhouette casts beaming lights from her eyes. The kitten and puppies freeze in place.
[...and the shadows are no more.]
After pillars of light appear they turn to dust.
 
>...Princess Luna?
 
Luna steps out lighting a lamp, her mane a mess.
[...You have too much smut, Pinkamena Diane Pie.]
 
cut~~~~~
'Don't hug it. You don't know what it's going to do.'
 
Cadence looks at DT with sad eyes.
"But...puppy."
 
'...please stop.'
 
483_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and folks chill! Now for our main question...What do you mean I have too much smut!?!
 
[It means I've been fighting your porn collection that have come to life...which was quite extensive.]
 
>Wait all of it? Oooooh...that's a lot to fight.
 
[That's an understatement. A vagina whale? Really?]
 
>And sperm whales too!
 
[Oh yes...we are aware of them. We are not only going to have to bathe here, but when we wake up too.]
 
>Did you...happen to save any of my porn?
 
[...Funny you should mention that...I did.]
Luna levitates the head of a Pinkie sexdoll.
[It was comforting to have around...so that I can do this.]
Hits Pinkie in the head with it.
 
>OW...I might have deserved that.
 
'You keep a sexdoll of yourself?'
 
>Yeah, in case I was in the mood for selfcest or assisted self-masturbation.
 
'...hmm.'
 
"You look sticky, Auntie Luna. What's with the white sploshes?"
 
[First of all, I'm not your aunt. Second of all, figure it out.]
 
"...there was a glue monster?"
 
[...you know what? Let's go with that. That's how I'm going to remember it.]
 
484_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Maud"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and this is totally not a pre-recorded episode! Now for our main guest...MY SISTER MAUD!
Applause
 
"...hello Pinkie."
 
>I bet folks haven't seen you for a while!
 
"...it's okay."
 
>But you can always have a spot on my show!
 
"Thanks..."
 
>Well, that's all the time we have. This episode was not recorded in front of a live audience. G'night everypony!
Maud wakes up and walks outside. A crystal pony that's fully transparent and sparkling walks by. Maud slowly raises a hammer and chisel.
"..."
She slowly puts them back down.
 
485_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I get lost in my own dreamhouse!
The group climb up a ladder in a tight tunnel.
 
["'...'"]
 
>What a fill~
 
["'...'"]
They keep climbing
 
>With creamy sweetness inside~
 
["'...'"]
 
>What a fill~
>I'm getting a fork for you.
>What a joy to my mouth
>Your taste is surpreeeeme...
 
>I'd use my knife
>Not for manners, but for youuuu (cake eater)
>And in time...there'll be nothing else~
>Cliiiimbing will eventually lead on to youuuu (cake eater)
>But I'm stillll in this dreeeeam cake eateeeeer
>But I'm stillll in a dreeeeeeam cake eateeeeer~
 
[For goodness sake, shut up Pinkie! If this tunnel wasn't so small I'd just fly us up.]
 
"...I liked it."
 
'...I actually liked it too.'
 
[...damn tag alongs.]
 
486_______________________________________________________________________________________
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
[Luna]
{Rarity}
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I make sure the thread doesn't drop!
 
A hatch opens.
[At last. The ladder comes to an end.]
 
'Finally, if this was the real world, I think I would have lost 20 pounds while carrying TBDRLIATU.'
 
"Whoa, Rarity made your bathroom super luxurious."
The bathroom is as large as a hanger, full of statues, large bathtubs, a hot spring, Sauna, and Jacuzzi.
 
>...Actually she didn't do anything to my bathroom. Huh...I guess she likes it.
 
Rarity and Appledoll, pokes their heads out of a hot tub. Pinkie notices Rarity's coat is white.
{That I do darling. You have exquisite taste...}
She smiles and gingerly brushes some of Appledoll's wet mane off her face.
{...too bad you haven't been very good to our friends lately have you?}
Appledoll puts her hat on and gets out of the tub.
 
>You hijacked my sex dolls. That's not nice. You don't mess with another mare's toys without permission! Oh and I want Rarity back to normal.
 
{Oh, I'm afraid I can't-}
 
[LUNAR SMASH]
Luna dive bombs with a hammer, but Appledoll jumps up and counters with a high kick sending Luna splashing into a nearby tub.
 
{...do that.}
She chuckles to herself.
{You see, I rather like the new me. It's so...liberating and I do enjoy experiencing the spotlight for myself. You should be supportive like Applejack here.}
The hoof that Appledoll used to kick Luna shatters.
{What?!}
 
Luna gets out of the tub and shakes off the water.
[That was just what I needed. I feel cleaner already...now where was I?]