Title:           Copypasta
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/8cN4fyMy
First Edit:      Friday 4th of July 2014 01:46:15 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 4th of July 2014 01:46:15 PM CDT

 
I'm not sure if you're trolling or just have no idea who I am, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.
 
In addition to almost 7 years as a confessed condom addict, I have moderated the largest birth control forum on the Internet (at over 2 million subscribers) for over a year. You think I don't know condoms? In that time I have removed over 400 posts for not following subreddit guidelines. In addition to my moderation responsibilities I am one of the most active writers on durex.com. You think I don't know condoms?
 
Several mainstream blogs have contacted me to ask about the recent birth control phenomenon and each has been thankful with what I had to tell them. It's not just limited to blogs though. Several companies have asked me to review their condom ads to avoid a failure like Hasbro's Pinkie Pie condom commercial.
 
Just in case you still do not understand how much I know condoms, I was the one to get trojan condoms to be covered in ground up birth control pills. Yeah, that was me, but you still do not know how much I know condoms. In addition to this, I have a Ph.D in condomology.
 
Just last week a major birth control company contacted me with a paid offer to help them on a new ad campaign.
 
It's safe to say that I am one of this board's foremost experts on condoms. So please tell me, what are your qualifications to say that I don't know what a condom is?