Momlestia Archive Part 2 ======================================================================================================================================= >Walking through Canterlot with Celestia on a cloudy day >You’d been living with her for a while now and gotten fairly close >Lately though, she’d been acting strange >During the day, she didn’t seem to be her usual, peppy self >Some nights, she claimed she was having nightmares and requested you lay with her until she fell asleep >You found yourself waking up still in her bed those following mornings >Now you were on one of your biweekly walks with the princess >They’d started a month before as another seemingly simple request of hers to go shopping with her >The trips to the shops had since evolved into casual strolls while she asked you questions about you and your life and told you about hers >Today she was unusually quiet, looking up at the Canterlot weather team arranging clouds for the afternoon’s showers >Looking at her, her coat seemed to glow in the increasingly gloomy atmosphere >She stopped in her tracks in the middle of a street with everyone else already inside for the incoming rain >”Anonymous, what do you think of your mother?” “What?” >You’d been watching her, but the question still caught you off guard >Celestia’s gaze shifted from the clouds to your eyes >”You’ve never told me about your mother. What was she like?” >You looked at her for a moment longer before looking down the street the two of your were on “There’s not a lot to tell. She passed when I was pretty young,” you shrugged >”Oh, Anonymous, I’m so sorry.” The concern you heard in her voice caused you to look back to her >Her expression was sad as you met her eyes, but there was something else there, a spark behind her eyes >The princess opened her mouth as if to say something before closing it again and continuing her walk down the street >Following her, she was silent and looking down as she walked, her mane and tail seeming to hang more limply from her frame “Is there something you wanted to ask me?” You offered, hoping to help with whatever was on her mind >Celestia stopped again and looked at you before taking a breath to steel herself >”Anonymous, it has been so long since I’ve been able to watch over and take care of someone personally. I was wondering if you’d allow me to mother you.” >The question startled you for a moment “You want to be my mom?” you were able to say after a silent moment >Celestia nodded and fidgeted a bit, it was obvious she’d been thinking about this for a while >You smiled “Celestia, I’m flattered, but I’m too old. I really don’t need a mom any more” >”But Anon, you’ve only been around for a couple decades. You’re still very young.” >Searching her face, there was nothing but hopeful optimism “Princess, humans only live around 80 years. I’m a quarter of the way there already.” You laughed but she seemed to wince >”I would still like to.” She said quietly >She looked almost timid as she waited for your answer >Sighing, you gave in, on the grounds that she wouldn’t go too far with it and the bright demeanor she was known for returned instantly >That same day, your bedroom had been dismantled and you were instructed you’d be sleeping in the princess’ bed with her >When you went to eat dinner, Celestia met you at the table wearing an apron and humming a happy tune as she nuzzled your head >Looking down, a smiley faced salad she’d prepared met you “Thanks, Celestia.” >”Ah-ah, call me mom.” >Pulling away and looking back at her, she had a hint of a smirk on her face, seeming to dare you to contest her >You decided against it “Thanks… mom” >You shuddered at how odd it felt to say but she hugged you solidly before happily trotting off into the kitchen >A year later you were getting ready for your birthday party >But it wasn’t your birthday, was it? >No, she’d changed it >When your real birthday passed, she refused to acknowledge it and instead chose the day you came into her care as your special day >The realization struck you at just how much she had changed in just the past year >Her mothering had expanded from simply sleeping in her bed and cooking for you to truly becoming a mother, your mother >And an increasingly protective one at that >She’d originally sent you to her academy for Equestrian history and other subjects that she felt you needed >It lasted a while until one day you mentioned some of the younger students making some snide remarks about you >She employed a private instructor for you the next day and you no longer attended the academy >The instructor lasted a while until mom felt she could teach you better on her own, which eventually became her taking you everywhere she went >She also had taken over other more private parts of your life, such as bathing you and arranging mares for you to court >Of course you never got the chance to meet any of those mares >Mom always seemed to find some flaw with them that made them unsuitable for you to see >She’d implemented all of these changes so gradually, you hadn’t noticed them until now that it was too late >But it wasn’t too late, was it? >You’d simply approach Ce- Mom and tell her you didn’t want to be babied any more >Yep, no problem >A knock came at the door and you opened it >”Anonymous, your mother has requested your presence.” One of the guards stood there before leading you to one of the grand halls she was waiting in “Mo-“ >”Happy birthday, sweetheart!” Mom ran up with a party hat and kissed you on the cheek, causing you to lose the train of thought you previously had >She brushed the guard away, leaving you two as the sole inhabitants of the birthday ‘party’ >There was a long table with a cake at one end surrounded by gifts, you knew who they were all from >It was wonderful your mother loved you so much >And you loved her right back End ======================================================================================================================================= >"I know *hic* I shez, I KNOW you l-like Amononysh-, I mean Anenome, Twilight. Ok? *hic*..I just KNOW, al- *hic* alright?" >'P-princess, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.' >"Itsh ok Twilight, hell, my ssons packing quite the tool, I don't blame ya. Mmm, yeah, Luna and I *hic*-, I said Luna and I never pass up a chance for shex with him~" >'..Do you think theres a chance that mayb-' >"Huh? Him? W-with you? PFFT- HAHAH!!! WAAAHAAHAHAH!!! Oh-, oh my dear naive simple purple protoge', not in a gorillion years!" >'..I see.' >"N-not even if hish dick was on fire and your vagina was a faucet!" >'I get it, thanks Princess.' >"No no no, I-, I got some more an-, and you're gonna *hic* listen to em', Twilight." >'I'm calling Spike to come pick me up.' ======================================================================================================================================= https://derpibooru.org/396566 "I'd like to thank each and every one of you for coming out tonight, and the Canterlot Royal Gallery for making this event possible." >Anon offered a polite bow to the assembled audience as his mother and aunty stand proudly beside him on stage in front of his latest soon to be relieved masterpiece. >The young prince waited for the applause to die down before continuing. "As some of you may know, I've been very tight lipped about my latest piece and haven't allowed it to been seen before this night, not even by my own dear mother." >Anon gestured towards the mare on his right. "My beloved mother without whose unwavering support, none of this would have been possible. Mom, I love you." >Celestia blushed, smiling sweetly at her darling boy as the flashes of cameras in the audience lit up the auditorium. "And I would be remiss if I didn't also thank my ever encouraging aunty, who gave me the drive to pursue my passion for painting. Aunty, thank you for always being there for me." >Luna waved her hoof bashfully as once again the gallery was illuminated by flashes. "Now that my latest work is finished, I can finally show it to the world. It is an impressionist piece inspired by one of my oldest acquaintances, Twilight Sparkle." >Anon pointed out into the audience. "Come on up, Twilight." >The purple mare was obviously shocked, but quickly made her way through the parting ponies and up onto the stage. >Anon leaned down and whispered into Twilight's ear. "Say hello to all the nice ponies, Sparkle. I'm about to make you a fuckin' star." >Pulling the velvet rope that hung beside the picture mounted on the wall, Anon released the veil that obscured his creation from view. "I give you, 'The Virgin and her Beast' for your viewing pleasure. >"Oh sunshine, it's amazing, very post modern with a hint of deconstructive insight. A thought provoking piece. You should be proud." >'Thanks, mom.' >NEPHEW, WE HAVE TRULY SEEN THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES THIS DAY, WELL PLAYED. >'Aww, Auntie, thanks.' >'Twilight? What do you think?' ..Y-you too, Prince Anonymous. https://derpibooru.org/53947 *Five Months Later* "Welcome one and all! So here we all are again. I'd like to thank all of you who made my previous unveiling such a great success, and I'd like to give an especially sincere thank you to all those who so kindly donated to the Canterlot Orphan's fund, the tireless work of whom make the lives of our great city's least fortunate that little bit brighter." >Enthusiastic cheering erupts throughout the gallery, just as it had almost half a year previously. "It is with joy in my heart that I can tell you all that 'The Virgin and Her Beast' was recently sold for more than two and a half million bits, and that the vast majority of the money has been divided equally between the various charitable institutions operating throughout the country. But now, without further ado, I present to you my newest piece, which was inspired by an incident that occurred during my cousin Cadance's most recent visit. Though sadly she cannot be here today to join us, I give you 'The Groom Need Never Know' for your consideration." >Meanwhile, at Canterlot General.. >Cadence stands in the physical rehabilitation ward, her nethers in a pelvic cast, watching the unveiling on tv >"Oh..*sniff*..I told him 'paint me like one of your frenchmares'..and he had my face in the matress the whole time, spanking my flanks and pulling my tail. I love you, Anonymous" >'I uh..I'm sure he cares for you too, dear.' >"Shut up, Shiny." ======================================================================================================================================= >"IT'S TIME FOR YOUR CHELLER' LESSON, MY LOVE!" >'Oh jesus, mom don't let her in!' >"Come on, Anon yew bloody poofta, 'urry up an' fuck me 'fore yor mum gets 'ere. >"Anonymous, dear, that enthusiastic grey mare who teachers your cello lessons is here." >'She's insane, mom, keep her and her ukelele' away from me.' >"Oh nonsense, she's positively radiant and dripping with enthusiasm to teach you." >'That was'nt enthusiasm, mom. Stains still haven't come out of the sofa cushions.' >"Well, just the same I think you could stand to gain a bit more culture, so you WILL be taking those lessons, mister." >You peer out the window down at the palace courtyard where she stalks back and fourth with that cello case on her back..did it get bigger? and why is it human shaped? >'MOM, UH, TIME OUT, FAMILY HUDDLE.' >"Sorry honey, mommys late for..*sigh* another woonnnderful monthly rundown of 'How can I kiss your ass some more' with Princess Twilight. Best behavior while I'm gone~" >As mom makes her way out the door, your serial stalker/music teacher appears >Visibly sweating and sans bowtie >'L-lewd.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hmph...he'll serve it to my teacher, her sister, MY sister in law, my friends, but not me. Chh, it's his loss, he doesn't know what he's missing." >'Unf t-totally, Twily.' >"Oh just shut up and rut me, Shining." ======================================================================================================================================= >KidAnon is rushing to the villains, each steps he took thunders with squeaky noises >Squeak,squeak,squeak >The villains stop their evil laugh and bare their sharp-looking evil teeth "You guys are going to get it now. YAA-Oh!" >Oh no! Our hero tripped and fall face first. >Awkward silence >The four villains look at each other with one thing in their mind: Will he cry? >Thankfully he stand, face full of tears and a scrapped knee "I-I will...*sniff* not be defe-*sniff*..defeated" >He march again and raise his legendary sword, SunPlank, toward Sombra "Yaaaah" >Sombra sneer and challenge our hero with an evil charge AKA Power-walk with clopping sound >"CRYSTAAALLL!..clop-clop" >Time slows as they come closer, each steps filled the air with squeak and clopping noises until SunPlank fall on sombra's chest- POKE >.......pokepokepokepoke >Anon delivered a powerful combo rush and Sombra fall defe- Sombra! Dont just smile >"Crystal?" >And Sombra FALLS DEFEATED >With a cue, he fall with a dramatic "CRSYTAAAALLLLLL" shout. >Now there are fear in the eyes of the villains and Discord run away with a poof > Our hero's confidence is restored and he locked his eyes on two remaining villains: Princees Bugbutt and scary aunty moonbutt >He charge again with SunPlank and his squeaky shoes as the two villains shiver in fear. >SQUEAK,SQUEAK,SQUEAK > He once again raised SunPlank and slash Chrysalis' only weakness, her abdomen. >POKE >....... >EHEM! >"Oh right...NOOO. ABDOMEN. MY ONLY WEAKNESSSS.....ueh" >The evil bug princess falls and now there is only one remains: Nightmare Moon >"Ah Hero Anonymous, Tis an honor. Prepare to die" "I will not be defeated by you, Aunty Lun-" >Anoon, its nightmare moon "U-uuhh...ni-night...Evil aunty moonbutt " >Nightmare Moon's evil eyes shine brightly and spread her wings menacingly >"BEHOLD, OUR POWER OF THE NIGH-" >LUNA, the Cantelot voice >"OH, right....Behold, our power of the night" >Flapping her wings, she disabled our hero with her evil wind. Without his legendary weapon, SunPlank, What will our hero do? >Oh no! he closed his eyes and tremble..could it be? Is that the legendary move? >Anon unleash his secret move, looking at Nightmare Moon with a sad droopy eyes. >The Puppy Eyes...awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww >"Ehem..Sister?" >Right...sorry. The Puppy eyes is so powerful that Nightmare Moon scream in pain >"NOOO...IT CANNOT BE. I AM UNDEAFEATEDD" >And turned herself back to Princess Luna "Aunty Luna...Yaaay." >"Oh, Hero Anonymous. You have saved me from my evil self. How could i repaid you? Perhaps when the sky are dark we could do "things" in the bedcham-" >LUNA, HE IS TOO YOUNG >"Ohohohoh. Tis a jest dear sister." >Anyway,And so, our hero journeyed back home with a rescued princess in his arm THE END "So what does Aunty Luna means with doing "things" in bed?" >Celestia stare at Luna with a force of thousand suns >"LUUNAAA" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Does a certain prince demand an encore performance for his birthday?" Well... I suppose you could call it a kind of performance, yes. The royal treasury really can't afford all these child support payments. >"Oh my, I'm sorry miss, but y-you must have the wrong ..c-castle. You see, no one by the name 'Celestia' or 'Anonymous' lives here." >'But how?! They wer-..and I-..hey, wait a second..what'd you say your name was?' >"Uhh, my name is Princess C-..Charlie. Princess Charlie Sheen, and I ehh..reside here w-with my son An-..Emilio. Yes." >"Oh, I'm sorry miss, but I'm afraid that the prince is in another castle. Now beat it you little skank, before my goodwill runs dry." "M-mom?" >"Oh, hello sweetie. I was just...mingling. Y-you know how I try to be approachable and down-to-earth with all my subjects." "Yeah, I, uh, I saw auntie Luna earlier, and she was...hurling what looked like shells down the hallway at ponies. Like she was bowling and they were the pins. I asked her about it and she referred me to you..." >"Aha, yes, well you know your aunt, always the prankster! S-surely she merely 'pulling your leg', as the foals say!" "They looked like they were in pain. And I'm not sure I saw even a single stallion in that pile of bodies..." >"Oh sweetheart, they were merely pretending to be in agony! It's a...a jest, you understand. We are all party to it! Oho, and it seems that we got you good! The look on your face!" "Has this castle always had trapdoor pits and mechanical stairways?" >"When we last renovated we figured we may as well spring for the complete package, and there was a discount on perilous obstacle courses at the time. 25% off, I believe, a little bit extra thanks to my exceptional negotiating skills. Equestria wouldn't be where it was today without my feather-light touch!" "None of this adds up, mom." >"You know, sunshine, when I was your age, every castle had a host of challenging traps, and all visitors were required-" "Are you trying to...chase mares away?" >"Go to your room." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Well, go on son. Kill them with the fire spell, just like we showed you." >"Uh, I dont know mom...". >"It easy, mommy will do the first one." >"Aaaaaaaagh!" >"Now your turn son, no mercy for traitors!" >"Hi...uh, look I'm only doing this for my mom & aunt, no hard feelings." >'B-blessed are you, Prince Anonymous, anything for a mothers lo-, AHHHGHHHHh!!!!' >You wince but you're pretty sure you saw him grin before you skewered his head on your lance "I really am terribly sorry about this, old chap." >The pony grunts as you hammer the first nail directly up into the underneath of his hoof and into his leg. "Believe me, if it were up to me I wouldn't be behaving in such a beastly manner." >Taking up his next leg, you repeat the process. "But... well, it IS mother's day and all, and the sweet old thing does ever so enjoy seeing such entertainment." >You give a casual wave to Celestia as she stands on a balcony overlooking the courtyard. >As expected she returns the gesture with an adoring smile as you drop the pony's second leg and set to work on the third. "I do so hope you won't hold it againt me, dear fellow. I can only imagine what a frightful inconvenience all of this if for you." >The shackled pony looks back at you. >"Oh no, I quite understand, my good man. One must always respect one's mother's wishes." >You nod politely. "Yes, I quite agree. I'm terrible sorry about this, but I rather think I shall have to kill you after we're finished with this business with the nails." Anon's mum raised 'im right proper she did, 'innit? ======================================================================================================================================= https://thelivingmachine02.deviantart.com/art/Don-t-Forget-to-Chew-317260580 >"F-firft one to finnif geth to ha thex wih Anon firtht." Poor Anon doesn't know that a threesome will happen between his mom and...his mom? >Stunned, you back out of the kitchen ever so quietly >By how they were eviscerating that cake you weren't sure you wanted to be the next object of their affections >Maybe Auntie will provide you with refuge, she's totes a bro like that >A sexy alabaster auntie bro you have sex with >You knock on her chamber door >"Buenos dias, housekeeping, Senor Anon say for me to come in & make room, yes?" >'Ah nephew, enter, please.' >It's dark like always, and Aunt Luna is lying on her bed with some ginormous ass book opened in front of her >'To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence, Anonymous?' >"Interestingly enough, it's my mom. Or mom's, in this case. You wouldn't happen to know why there are 2 of her now, would you?" >'BY TARTARUS, SISTER! WE WE'RE TO DO IT TOGETHER! Grr...no matter.' >"..No matter what, Auntie?" >[boner of curiosity intensifies] >She's gotten up off her bed now and is currently walking seductively towards you >And you're walking back into a corner, a dark one >'No matter. Your mother may not have been able to wait for what we had planned, praise the stars that she cannot turn a blind eye to a free cake.' >'Mmm, Luna, perhaps we should wait for our sisters. Sharing is caring.' >! >If Aunty Luna is right in front of you, who said that? >'Our dearest nephew~' >A set of soft warm lips planted themselves on the back of your neck as slender arms hugged you from behind >'We have waited for this for some time.' >'We both have' Horse Auntie said >You look behind you and nearly every bit as voluptuous as mom's human self is Luna's >Standing in front of you side by side, they begin to turn around >One drops her dress and the other raises her tail >'Will you not breed us, nephew?' >'Please, do not force us to restrain ourselves any longer.' >Human Auntie is sweating like charlie sheen waiting for test results, she jonesin for it >Before you can mumble out 'ok' she's closed the distance between you and her lithe body attaches to yours >Those legs 4 days wrap themselves around your waist and she's got your head between her hands >'Mmm, Anonymous, p-please, lavish your affections on us as you would your mother, explore every inch of my new form.' >She says between huffs of breath to your face and licks to your neck >Human Auntie doing horse things, titanium boner pls >'Share breath with us, nephew.' >Speaking of, it's getting a little more difficult to breathe, what with a slightly dampening crotch grinding against your own, your hands digging into plush malleable ass and every sense being assaulted in the best way possible >'You will take us in succession, Nephew. Once you've successfully bred with her, you shall flood me with your seed next. Oh and I guess your mom and her human form as well.' >My god, theres a very real possibility you could be horseland's first death by snu snu >The image of sex crazed amazon mares & 2 ultra model human females poking your spent carcass with a stick makes you wonder whats keeping mom- >'E-enough!' She says as she forces your head between her breasts >'Dick. Inside. NOW' >Fine, geeze if she's gonna twist you arm about it.. >A loud banging at the door stops you as you're about to enter her members only heart shaped box >"..Yeah as much as I'm a team player and-, and REALLY enthusiastic about what we're about to do here, you probably should've waited for mom, Auntie." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Ha HA! Now how will you defend your precious Earth, Kakarot?" >'Grrrrr, you monster, Virginia!' "..Just once I'd like to walk into this kitchen and not find something like this happening." >'Boo Sunshine, you're no fun.' >"Verily nephew, you are the Nappa to my Virginia." "That's not even his na-..no, you know what, nevermind. I love you guys, have fun." >You love mom & auntie, you REALLY do it's just that their sound fx are a little much >"NEEEEEERM, PEW PEW PEW, DUDUDUDUDUDUDU, I GOT YOU SISTER, I GOT-, YES HUH, NO YOU DIDN'T DODGE!" >'NUNUNUNUNUNU, EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHRRRRM-, NUH UH, YOU MISSED ME!' ======================================================================================================================================= "Commander, where is my son? You were tasked with making sure he would arrive in time for the opening ceremony, and yet here you are without him by your side." >The guard nods solemnly. "You understand that as my son, prince Anonymous is expected to be by my side during this event? You grasp that it is of utmost importance that he gets to know the influential ponies that he may very well one day be ruling?" >The guard nods again. >"Yes, princess." "Yes. So you understand, commander, why I am not pleased to see you here alone... without my son... who, as far as I can tell, is nowhere to be found?" >More browbeaten nodding follows as the princess lets out a deep, calming sigh. "Where is Anonymous, commander?" >The loyal guard clears his throat. >"He is... uh, he's at the local whorsehouse, ma'am." >To her credit, Celestia's eyes hardly widened at all. "You're telling me that today, on one of the most important royal gatherings of the last decade, YOU commander allowed my son to visit the local den of ill repute?" >"H-He was very insistent, ma'am." >The princess smiled serenely, trying to rise above it all as she had done countless times in the past. "Yes, commander, I know better than any just how convincing my son can be. Tell me, what exactly was he doing when you left?" >The guard looked hesitant. >"He said to tell you that he may be a little late, and that I should-" >Celestia frowns, stopping the blabbering pony mid sentence. "What was he doing? It is a simple question." >"Ma'am... I believed he called it The Piledriver." >Once again Celestia's face betrayed nothing. "I see... I have an opportunity for you, commander." >"Ma'am?" "If you manage to go find my son and bring him back here in the next ten minutes, then you get to remain employed. Oh, and if Anon gives you any trouble, tell him that if he isn't back here by the time I make my address to the assembled delegates then he'll be spending the rest of his life as a eunuch." ======================================================================================================================================= >"H-heeey~, my favorite cousin ready for some peetzer?" "If by 'peetzer' you mean your dripping horse pussy, then yes. Oh, and don't send your husband out on some fools errand for mango flavoured ice cream while we're doing it this time. I want him to watch... That'll teach him to call me 'little dude' when I was younger. Not so little now am I, Shiny?" "You like that? Your body seems to think so, and you body doesn't lie, Cadey. What's the matter, can't speak?" >Cadance shakes her head weakly as her eyes roll back in ecstasy. "Well that's okay, you don't need to talk. You just lie there and let your favourite cousin make you feel all kinds of awesome." >"A... An..." >You smirk, hearing her try to form words with her pleasure addled mind. "You want to say something? Tell me, who's the best you've ever had?" >"Y-You are.... Don't stop." >You glance up to your plaything's husband as he sits looking rather awkward while trying to hide his erection in the corner of the room." "I hope this isn't making you feel uncomfortable, Shiny, but you know... Royal traditions and all that." >He looks up and meets you gaze for a moment before quickly returning to staring at the floor. >"Y-You too, little dude." "Ah! Remember what we discussed. From now on you call me 'Big Guy' okay?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"I could've married a real man. Literally." >Cadence stands in main foyer of the crystal castle, swirling a glass of crystal chardonnay in her magic grasp >She casts a forlorn glance out the window towards the mountains, she knows on the other side lie ponyville and her true love >"How did this loser guilt me into marrying him, I'll never know. There I was, in the presence of an outgoing, clever man with a lust for life and adventure. And I passed him up in favor of tuesday book clubs with Twilight and attending yearly nerd con's with my dickless wonder of a husband." >'CADY, HONEY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY FIRST EDITION HIVE QUEEN WITH CUSTOM HEADDRESS AND BATTLE STA-..nevermind baby, found it!' >"..Couldn't even see through some bug bitches kindergarten-tier mind control spell. I must really be a glutton for punishment." >She gulps the last of the liquor, smashes the glass and summons a parchment & quill >"Dear Auntie's, I want in. My reasons are my own." Dear Cadance, Don't ask, don't tell. Bring your own lube if you desire to partake in such 'acts' with Anon. Luna has him reserved for herself after 9pm and gets doesn't like to share. My baby doesn't like to wear condoms, so be prepared to have a little cleaning up to do afterwards. You are expected to be willing to perform oral sex on him and/or us whenever he asks. Do not talk to Luna about the 'incident' that occurred between Anon and yourself when you were younger, as she will likely take it as a challenge and get possessive. Twilight is NOT invited, so don't mention this little arrangement to her. If you can agree to these terms then you are welcome to come. Yours with love, Aunty Celestia. p.s. You should wear that nice perfume that Anon likes so much. ======================================================================================================================================= So since Anon treats their daughter like shit and on several occasions has had adulterous relations with their son's wife, what's Anon's relationship like with Shining and Twilight's parents? Has he had sex with their mother just to rub it in Bookdork's nose that she'll never get a chance with him? >"Why are we having them over, mom? I'm sure that whole fam with the exception of Velvet, hates my guts..and this dick." >'That may very well be, but we as royalty, and them as family of royalty, atleast have to make efforts.' >"Mom, I fucked their daughter in law in front of their son at the wedding, and I fingered Velvet so hard she went off like a train whistle during Twilights coronation." >'C-curse you, sweetheart...that dick is both a blessing and a weapon of mass destruction.' >You fold your hands behind your head and pelvic thrust >"With great power comes great blah blah blah, right, mom?" >You kiss her muzzle and relegate yourself to having dinner brought to you in your room, don't want the cuck's getting sand in their mangina's >"Just have it brought to my chambers, please, mom. Also, ask Cadence to conveniently excuse herself the moment Twilight suggests you all play Pictionary. She'll know what it means." >"Anon, wait... this is wrong," muttered Cadance as she was pushed gently yet firmly down into the mattress of the bed, the springs creaking softly as her beloved cousin positioned himself above and behind her. >Though she argued that they should stop, her words lacked conviction, as if she herself didn't believe what she was saying. >"S-Stop, we shouldn't," she continued to protest as she felt a pair of hands caressing their way down her body and causing her to raise her tail involuntarily. >"I'll be missed at dinner and somepony will come looking." "I don't care." >Her breath hitched in her throat for a moment at the sensation of kisses peppering their way up the back of her neck. "But they'll find us... They'll see us." "I don't care." >Though her mind was torn between the love she felt for her cousin and the memory of the vows she took on her wedding day, she didn't resist as she felt Anon enter inside her. >Instead, she simply let out a low moan as he leaned down and grasped her sensitive ear between his teeth, shifting his hips forwards and forcing himself deeper within her. >"I shouldn't be doing this, I'm a married m-" >She was silenced by a hand softly being placed over her mouth, turning her head to look up into the eyes of the man atop her. "Words are just words, even ones like 'forsake all others' mean nothing. They have no power over us. What's real is what you're feeling right now." >Looking into the face of her cousin, Cadance couldn't help be remember all the years they spent playing together long before she ever met her husband. >More than that, she recalled the forbidden feelings that had begun blossom between them before she was sent away to study abroad. "You like it, don't you?" >She couldn't deny it any longer. >Her body knew what it wanted, even if her mind was conflicted. >She nodded and Anon removed his hand from her mouth. "Then lets have no more argument tonight." ======================================================================================================================================= Will auntie become possessive? >"..Auntie, what're you doing?" >'Watching you sleep, ofcourse. As one who holds supreme dominion over the night, this falls explicitly within our duties.' >"And the dominatrix outfit?" >'Uh..t-tis casual friday.' >"..Do you think you can not hug me so tight?" She tolerates Anon's constant whoremongering because it was common practice for royalty in her youth, and she concedes that Celestia should be allowed priority access to Anon by virtue of being the eldest and he her son. She also turns a blind eye to Anon's rather inappropriate relationship with his cousin, but God help anybody that interrupts her "private time" with her beloved nephew. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Wow mom, poured it on a little thick tonight, huh? Don't worry, I'm here to take you home." >'H-HI, PRINCE ANONYMOUS, I WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED YOU TO COME PICK UP YOUR MOM-, HEY DO YOU WANNA GO OUT SOMETIME MAYBE AS FRIENDS OR CLOSER, HAHAH SORRY AM I RAMBLING? I DO THAT SOMETI-' >"Wuh oh, mom you don't look so good. SHIT, not on my J's mom, barf over there, that way!" >Mom fires her barf lazar all over purple dork "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH...ptoo..ptoo..m-mommy feels better, thank you sunshine." >"Course you do, now lets get you home and into bed. Oh uh, thanks for the heads up Twilight, I guess. Smell ya later." >Mom's technicolor rainbow vomit drips off the petrified permavirgin purple dork who sits in stunned silence >'Y-you too...' ======================================================================================================================================= Essentially... >Anon and Cadance grew up together, living like family after she was adopted by Celestia. >Over the years they grow very close and behave almost like brother and sister, though they call one another "cousin." >As more time passes and they grow into adolescence, they begin to develop certain feeling for each other which Celestia tries to discourage, never quite explaining why, only vaguely hinting that it's not "meant" to be and that the both of them are destined for greater things. >Ignoring her wishes, Anon and Cadance continue to pursue their relationship, often sneaking off to spend the night in the other's chambers and believing that Celestia isn't aware. >This obviously leads to a certain amount of tension as Celestia sees it almost as if Cadance is attempting to turn her son against her. >Seeing that there is no other option, Celestia sends Anon to study abroad for a couple of years, claiming that it's so he can immerse himself in the different culture and become more worldly. >Anon takes this very badly, parting on bad terms with his mother. >Though she is saddened by her friend/lover's leaving, Cadance meets Shining Armor during this time after being hired by his parents to babysit their younger daughter, Twilight. >Celestia encourages the feelings the two have for one another, wishing for Cadance to lose interest in her son. >Getting wind of the potential return of Nightmare Moon, Celestia decides to prolong Anon's studies abroad in the hopes of keeping him safe. >The events of season one occur. >At last Anon returns, fully grown and eager to reconnect with his childhood flame. >He meets with his newly returned aunt, and though they get along, he sees her far more as a close friend and confidant than a relative. >Anon is dismayed to learn that Cadance has met somebody else, as not a day went passed in his absence when he didn't think of her. >Though he pretends to be happy for the couple, he secretly despises Shining and vows to do everything in his power to tear them apart and return Cadance to her "rightful place" by his side. (Anon is only human, and though he has many good traits, he is also possessive, two-faced and can be underhanded at times) >Anon has a deep loathing for Twilight too, believing that had she never been born then Cadance would have never have met her older brother. >Though he appears content and amiable on the surface, inside he's filled with malice and anger at his loss, constantly manipulating events in an attempt to win back his childhood love. Basically a story where Anon has all the vices of an actual human being and where his relationship with his mother is strained. Obviously this basic idea would be fleshed out in much greater detail if I ever actually wrote it. I think it needs more Celestia interactions. ======================================================================================================================================= ANON AND... >Pick one of the following Celestia Cadance Fleur Luna Chrysalis Twilight's mother Amira (the Saddle Arabian mare) Twilight Shining Armor A random guard A prostitute >Pick two of the following Get drunk Have sex Redecorate the palace Do drugs Play scrabble Lose the deed to the palace in a game of poker Have a heart to heart talk Spy on ponies Have a romantic dinner Go see a movie Can't remember where they parked the chariot WHILE... >Pick one of the following The griffons demand more say in the raising and lowering of the sun Octavia searches for Anon An airship crashes (with no survivors) A zebra mugs a pony Anon's bath water is getting cold One of the princesses can't find her vibrator Anon and Luna forget where they parked the Chariot and have sex probably in the parking lot while an airship crashes with no survivors. ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Celestia. >After Anon came to work for you've fallen in love with him more and more. >And not in the equals-equals relationship. >You see, he's a tiny, adorable alien who calls himself human. He's got cute little appendages, he's tall as you stand, can ride on your back, has no muzzle, and requires clothes because he's got very little hair. >The poor, vulnerable creature just needs you to be his mother. >He rejected your advances for adoption, saying he wants to be his own man. >Now he works for you. It's a hard life for him. He says his home world is harder, that Equestria is a paradise, but you know better. >He just needs a loving, caring, protective mother. >Every night, you sneak into his apartment. >You've got to feed him your milk, warm him with your feathers and fur, and give him sexual release... >And since you raise the sun, you wake up before he does. >Just before he wakes up, you sneak out and knock on his door. >As Celestia, you join him for breakfast to see how your little alien -son- ambassador is doing. >It's not a problem. Probably. >Your sister, your niece, your former student, the entire castle, in fact probably most of Equestria knows what you're doing... and they keep it a secret from Anon, who's clueless. >It's okay. You've been doing this for 3 months and haven't gotten caught. >And Anon seems a much happier, more energetic human that before you did this. >You don't want to know what the fiercely independent human will think if you get caught. >That is, until one night, you do... ======================================================================================================================================= Better version. ANON AND... >Pick one of the following Gilda Raven (Celestia's assistant) Celestia Some sexy twins Cadance Fleur A mute mare Luna Chrysalis Rarity Twilight's mother The most autistic and edgy OC you can find via a quick Google search Amira (the Saddle Arabian mare) Twilight Mrs. Cake A pony of your choice Shining Armor An underage filly A random guard Sauron, Lord of Middle Earth A prostitute >Pick two of the following Get in a chariot crash Get drunk Find Either Luna or Celestia's sextape Fight Have sex Have even more sex, only this time it's kinky as fuck Redecorate the palace Do drugs Do a spot of gardening Play scrabble Cook meth Lose the deed to the palace in a game of poker Have a heart to heart talk Mess around with a permanent marker Get stuck together with super glue Spy on ponies Do charity work Have a romantic dinner Dance the night away Go see a movie Can't remember where they parked the chariot WHILE... >Pick one of the following They slowly starve to death Rarity is in hospital being diagnosed with mega-gonorrhoea Anon's Playcolt collection is discovered The griffons demand more say in the raising and lowering of the sun Octavia searches for Anon Twilight's favourite book is eaten by moths Twist gets what she deservers An airship crashes (with no survivors) A gay bathhouse celebrates its fifth year in business A zebra mugs a pony The palace maids just can't get the stains out of Anon's imported manticore fur rug Anon's bath water is getting cold You decide One of the princesses can't find her vibrator ~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Anon and a mute mare play scrabble, have a heart to heart talk while my own choice will of course be something sexual. "Let's see... I can do 'pretty' with your 'yonder'. Your move Pearl~" >The unicorn looks down on her last three tiles with a frown, then suddenly grin maliciously and put them all down. >HOPE >With your bloody P. Pun not intended "Damn. You're just too good at this game for me." >Pearl chuffs and picks out a few tiles to lay them out before you. >"YOU GOT CLOSE" >Not true, you were terrible at scrabble, but you kept playing because it gave you a chance to be with this curious little mute. >She was a maid here in the castle, often coming by your room to do some dusting and sheet swapping. Though no words were exchanged at all, you'd started to connect through scrabble, of all silly plot devices. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anon and Luna lose the deed to the palace in a game of poker while Celestia is on her way home >"Shit, Auntie, mom's going to be here any minute! And she explicitly told me before she left 'Anonymous, sunshine, be a good boy and don't lose the deed to the palace in any poker games'!" >'Yes...we are afraid we may have exaggerated our skills in this 'Poker', Nephew. A card game was not what we were expecting.' >"Quick, nephew, think of a way out of this! We have no wish to visit our moon any time again soon!" "Uh... Ah, I've got it." >"Quick!" "So, guys, you're pretty good at poker, there's no doubt about it. I'm wondering however if maybe you're up for a simple trade?" >"Trade? What'cha talkin' about, kid?" "You give me back the deed in exchange for a night of debauchery with the princess of the night." >"Nephew!" >"Hmm... that's real tempting, kid, but-" "Oh come on, you know you want to. I can personally vouch for her skill in bed and she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue. Only been used twice, purest alicorn in town." >"Twice?" "Well... twice today, but she's still pretty damn pure as far as my female relatives are concerned." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anon and Fleur have even more sex, only this time kinky as fuck, and get stuck together when super glue, while they slowly starve to death... wut. >"Well, Anon, it looks like the mafia got us this time..." Yup. >"And they glued out hands and knees together..." Yup... >"And here we are in a compromising position in a bedroom that's been sealed with concrete except the tiny vents." Yup. >"There is water within reach, and no food. They're going to starve us to death in this sealed chamber. " Yup. >"What are we going to do? I don't want to starve to death! It's a horrible way to go. " ... ... I have an idea. >"Yes?" Remember that time we had sex? >"Which one?" The first time? When we had to get kinky to entertain the mafia boss so he'd let us go? >"Yes?" And you said you had an asphyxiation fetish? >"...y-yes?" So Fleur, I have a proposition for you. ... I don't wanna die alone, you don't wanna die alone, and neither of us want to die by starvation. >Correct. So why don't we die by snu-snu? >hmmm... We'd go at each other round after round until we can only go one round left, and then we suffocate each other before we die for maximum pleasure! >"Actually, that might be a way out. " What do you mean? >"It was Cadence who sent us on this mission, right?" Yup. >"And if she senses us making love again, she'll tattle on us to your Mom, right?" Yea-wait... yup... >"And she'll be mad, and come bust through the building, get rid of this unicorn-magic-proof superglue that they glued us together with..." Yup. >"And we'll be free!" But what about you? >"What /about/ me?" Mom'll kill you if she catches you fucking me again. >"Ehh, I think she'll be happier that I saved her baby. " I'm not her baby! >"She calls you that all the time..." No, wait, seriously, she does? >"Behind your back of course. You get upset when she does it to your face." So I've heard. >"It's kinda cute when you're flustered." So are we going to do this or not? >"Yes, all we have to do is make enough pleasure that Cadence will detect us with her love magic. " So that's your plan, is it? >"That's pretty much it..." ... Well I like it! but... >"But what?!" I wanna snuggle. >"What'n the hell you wanna snuggle for? This is a life and death situation; we're calling for help in the most obscene way possible, and you wanna snuggle?!" So what if it's obscene? Given how you screamed last time, you have no objections. >... >"Touche... but still! you wanna cuddle?!" Well, I kinda enjoyed when the mafia bosses forced us to fuck for their entertainment, and being your co-agent has kinda... >"Kinda what?" ... >"Anon. Seriously. We're glued together alone in a bedroom where we're about to fuck each other to death. I'm pretty sure you can confess to me anything you wish. It's just that... >"For fucks sake, Anon, tell me, or if we get out of here alive, I'll give your Mom the porn collection you had under your bed. I LOVE YOU, OKAY?! >... ... and I just wanted to cuddle... cause it might be the last time I'm with you, and I've always wanted to... and.....*sigh*. >... Fleur? >... Fleur, are you okay? >"You love me back?" What >"You love me BACK?!" I... >Fleur headbutts you. >"YOU LOVE ME BACK AND YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME?!" I didn't know that- >"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW! You tactless unsubtle piece of... In my defense, I could tell when every other girl is flirting with me, or even has a crush on me from the 6th grade. If I didn't know you liked me, Only Cadence would... >...*sigh*... I mean seriously. I came on to you, and you pushed me back. And now you say you're in love with m- >"Let's just fuck, okay?" Wut. >"For fuck's sake, fuckin' fuck me!" Alright! alright!... um... >"WHAT?!" I need you to... >"Huh?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, sweetheart,...y-you don't find yourself becoming bored without myself or your Auntie around, do you?" >'..Bored? HERE? Mom, I know this is just the regular ol' boring palace to you, but to me it's the coolest thing in the world. Plus, I like the citizenry-, sans Twilight, enough.' >"Ofcourse, well, having said that, I have procured some items of leisure from your world. Wasn't easy, I MAY have unleashed some cacamayme blah blah magic consuming demon or something, but whatevs. I'll let Twilight handle that. ANYWAY..heres what mommy brought you.." >Mom levitates a box of stuff towards you >And it's the BEST SHIT EVER >'A gamecom! Holy fuck, mom! W-what else is in here?..DIABLOS? WOOO!!! IT'S LIKE I'M BACK IN 1996! Aaand a yakbak?!' >You jump for joy while wearing the moonshoes that were also in the box >'M-mom, I...' >"Mmm, no thanks necessaries, my love, seeing you happy is reward enough." >"Mommy also happened to learn a verrry interesting thing about pony - human relations in your world, too~" >"Ah, do not be afraid to apply a little crop, sunshine. Naughty, rebellious ponies like mommy ought to be brought in line~" ======================================================================================================================================= >Give mama a kiss." "Mum, do I really have to?" >"Yes Darling, are you REALLY going to question a Princess, much less your own mother?" "B-but in front of all these o-others?" >You couldn't help but sweat bullets at the prospect. >She'd never been this forward about...well, anything of this nature! >At least in front of the populace, and while you might be in her throne room, court was still in full swing. >Fuck, you just wanted to come by and talk to Cadance. >Welp, this is it. >You'll do it, or she'll ground you. Again. >You can see it in her eyes. >That stern look, with that light twinkle that appears when she's severely serious about something. >Leaning in, your lips brush her fuzzy cheek. >You quickly dart backwards after the contact, but she seems satisfied. >"D'awww..." >Turning, you see a couple of 'High class' ponies smirking at your public display of affection. >Scowling, you backpedal out of the throne room, your mother laughing at the rate of your retreat. "RIGHTI'MJUSTGONNAGOFINDCADANCE!" >Whew. >Got away with your dignity... >No. Your dignity is not intact, actually. >And yet...where the fuck is Cadance? >You just wanted to see her. >And see if you could convince her to have another makeout session. >Fuck Shining, he's not getting your gal. >Even if mum didn't want you looking at other girls anyways. ======================================================================================================================================= >Ugh. >You're bored. >And hungry. >Even if you have no internet connection in this world, the second one you can do something about. >You leave your room and walk to the kitchen. >The royal chefs may have been numerous, but you learned to cook and cook you would. >You open the door to the dining room see your mother off in one corner talking with a humanoid figure, likely Discord. >They had been growing closer, but you made it clear to the immortal demigod that your mother was yours and yours alone to love. >He had put up resistance, but you two negotiated: your mother was yours for sex, but you'd help get Twilight to Discord. >Since the pesky purple pony had been trying to get your dick forever, hey, two birds one stone. >You wave at your mother and the Discord-shaped figure in the chair, and they both wave back. >You go into the kitchen, intent on giving your mother a slice of cake to show your appreciation for her, but two of the biggest cakes are missing. >you wonder what's going on, and you exit the kitchen to find... >Your mother and a human-shaped version of your mother about to enter into an intense cake-eating contest. >Your horse mother says "First one to finish gets to have sex with Anon first!", they shake hoof and hand, and dig in. >You quickly close and hide behind the door. >Confused boner is confused. >On one hand, you hadn't seen any humans for years and whatever god had decided that human Celestia wanted the dick too was a pretty good god in your book. >On the other, you had grown accustomed to having one mother. >Maybe they're gone now? >You open the door to find two messy but empty plates, no pony, and no human. >Whew. >You decide that you weren't hungry and were only going to eat because you were bored, and you walk back to your room. >As you walk, your confused boner grows ever more confused and boner. You hadn't seen your mom during your walk and she wasn't in the throne room when you passed by. >You open the door to your room. >Your mother is talking with your other mother, and the human one looks up at you >"Ah good, Anon is here." >She slinks seductively over to you and sheds her robe on the way. >Your mother has a quite large rump than a human, but your humanized mom has one that's large for a human and breasts that beat supermodels from your world. ======================================================================================================================================= >"How's my schedule look today, mom?" >'Oh wonderful, sunshine, your first appointment is a 10 o'clock with the CMC. My, they've certainly grown into attractive young mares.' >"Fantastic. Whose after them?" >'Oh, nopony special. Some old bag, really.' >"Cute, mom, but that's no way to talk about Auntie." >'You KNOW I meant myself, Anonymous~.' >"Ooh I dunno, you don't look a day past the age of consent here, Miss." ======================================================================================================================================= Would Anon go back in time and bone his own mother when she was young? >You're flipping through pages of an Equestrian almanac with mom when you notice something >Theres the same stunning pink maned qt on nearly every page, most prominently in historical pictures >"..Mom, is that..?" >'Mhhmm, that's your old lady, sunshine.' >"Daaaamn, mom." >Unf, mom looks even hotter then, which you didn't think possible >"H-how long ago was this?" >Mom stifles a giggle with a mouthful of tea >'Oh sweetheart, that was ages ago. Well before anyone currently living was born.' >"Is there uh...can you.." >'Anonymous, my word, are you proposing I send you back in time so you may have relations with my teenaged self?~' >"W-well..I mean..you said it, not me." >'Silly. I COULD do that. OR. Or I could just make us both teenagers here and now~" ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Anonymous the human >Soon to be Anonymous the time-traveling human. >You love Celestia. You're IN love with her. MADLY in love with her. >Especially dat ass. >But Momlestia doesn't see it the same way. >It seems she thinks that royalty isn't above commoners' morals. >Something about PR or some bullshit like that. >You've been pursuing dat ass ever since your balls dropped, and every time you wanna snog your mom, she turns her cheek to you. >You can't stand it anymore. >You're going back in time- not 9 months before you were born- give it 11 months. >You don't know that ponies have 11 months' pregnancy. You might have reconsidered if you did. >You step through 10 years' worth of work after activating the portal. >And you found your Mom- before she was your Mom. And she was one hot Momma. >Long story short, you seduced her into a one-night stand, and while you were sleeping in the afterglow, your time machine took you back to the present. >You awoke in your sciency mad-scientist laboratory, and there was your mother, with a disappointed look on her face. I didn't do THAT, I swear. I fucked you 11 months before I was born instead of 9! >Celestia flew into a rage and pulled out her lightsaber. You had to defend yourself with yours. >The two of you fought throughout your research facility, slashing and burning equipment, all lost from the scientific community. >Doesn't matter, got sex. >She beats your back into the ventilation system, deep in the bowels of the canterhorn. There you fought in a large vertical airshaft with a cat-walk over it. >She cuts off your hand and beats your back to an antenna thing where you hang. >Her voice deepens. "If only you knew the magic of friendship..." "I'll never join you..." >"Poni Wan never told you what happened to your father..." "He told me enough!" "He told me you FUCKed him!" >No, Anon. YOU are your father.... >BUUM BUUM BUUM BOMM BABUUM BOMM BABUMMMMMMM No... that isn't true... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! >"Search your feelings; you KNOW it to be true... No, Mom, seriously, that's impossible. I fucked you 11 months before I was born. Humans spend 9 months in utero. >"Pony mothers give birth 11 months after conception... ....NOOOOOOOOOOOnnnnnnooooooo...... ======================================================================================================================================= “MOM!? Mooom!” >The smaller human raced down the halls of the castle in search of his mother >Celestia smiled when she heard him calling her >Her smiled became a wide grin when he appeared at the opposite end of the hall she was in >Spreading her wings and lowering her head, she waited for him as he sped towards her >Catching him and buffeting him with her feathered appendages, Celestia nuzzled her son >”My my, I think you could make the Wonderbolts with that kind of speed” >Anonymous wasn’t listening as he tried to untangle himself from her grasp “Mom, I was in class and Ms. Graytalon told us you were the first pony to do a sonic rainboom. Is that true!?” >Celestia smiled at how openly excited he was and nodded “Wow, you must be the fastest pony in Equestria!” >Celestia started to reply before Anonymous cut her off, apparently having remembered something “Oh wait, but Lemondrop said that there’s a pegasus from someplace called Ponyville that can do sonic rainbooms and that she’s faster than you!” >”Well-“ “That’s not true, is it mom!?” >Anonymous hugged her, looking up to her eyes with a pleading expression as if this were a matter of his own personal pride >The princess opened her mouth before shutting it again, an idea forming in her mind >She leaned down to her son, motioning for him to get on her back, “How about we find out?” >The two were quickly off, Celestia leaping out the nearest exit she could find into the fresh air >Anonymous clung to the base of her mane, looking out as Canterlot shrank beneath them >”Alright Anonymous hang on, here we go!” She called out over the wind and the flapping of her large wings >In a moment they were off >Anonymous, still clinging to his mother, waiting for the imminent acceleration, peeled his eyes open to realize she was flying about the speed of a trotting pony “Mom, you can go faster, I won’t fall off” >Celestia smiled back at him nervously, before putting her hooves out in front of her and putting more energy into her wings >It didn’t seem to help as they remained at the same leisurely pace >Had she really become that poor of a flyer? >After the slow sail through the air, despite Celestia’s efforts, they set down on a balcony of the castle and she let Anonymous off her back >The disappointment in his eyes crushed her >”I truly was the first pony to do a sonic rainboom,” she offered with a hopeful smile “Sure mom, I believe you” >Anonymous smiled back at her, but she could tell he was trying not to hurt her feelings “I guess it was just a while ago” >Did he just call her old? >As her son thanked her and started to walk away, Celestia put a hoof on his shoulder >”Your birthday is coming up soon, isn’t it?” >Anonymous nodded, unsure about the sudden seriousness in her face “Next month” >”Well, give me until then. I’ll take you on another flight, and we’ll do a sonic rainboom, together. Does that sound okay?” >The excitement from earlier returned to Anonymous’ face and she returned his hug “Oh man, I gotta go tell Lemondrop. See ya later, Mom!” >He pecked the princess’ cheek before running off with Celestia watching on >What had she just promised? >Celestia thought on how she would keep her promise to her sunshine as she walked >”Good night, Celestia,” Luna said as she passed >”Good night, Luna,” Celestia continued walking a few steps before jerking her head back >”Luna!” >Her sister paused and looked back to her, “Yes?” >Celestia cleared her throat after the sudden outburst, “Ahem, Luna, I was wondering if you could give me some advice” >“The great Celestia is asking her lesser sister for her wisdom?” >Celestia’s face was horror, “You don’t honestly think that, do you?!” >It wasn’t until Luna was grinning like an idiot that the older sister caught on and pulled her in with a wing >As the two started walking, Celestia told Luna about her and Anonymous’ flight and her promise to perform a sonic rainboom by his birthday in a month >Luna was unsuccessfully trying to hide a smile. “Well what happened Celestia? With wings the size of yours, I would think you’d be able to fly faster than a foal.” >Celestia’s cheeks reddened. “Well, when was the last time you tried to fly as fast as you could?” >Luna paused and brought a hoof to her chin >”There was a time when we were the fastest beings in the land, Lulu” >Luna scoffed, returning to their slow walk. “Celestia, that was ages ago. We no longer have a need to be able to fly that quickly.” >Thinking on it a moment longer, Luna winked out before reappearing down the hall. “Besides, teleportation would seem a bit faster, would it not?” >Celestia sighed through her nose. “It is not the same. I promised him I would fly with him on my back next month.” >”Then I suppose you should start training tomorrow” >The following morning, Anonymous woke up and exited his room, thinking about what he’d do that day >He didn’t get two steps out of the door before a familiar pair of lips attacked his cheek >”Good morning, sunshine!” Celestia chirped happily before trotting away >Rubbing the slobber off, Anonymous’s eyes went wide as he looked after her >Running to catch up, he got a better look at his mother >Gone were her flowing, multihued mane and tail, instead replaced by a pink bob cut that only moved as she did “Mom?” >”Yes?” Celestia’s smile shone like her sun “What happened to you!?” >Celestia noticed Anonymous was starting to pant from the effort of keeping up with her pace and stopped >”Do you like it? I thought a new style might be nice for the summer.” “Uh it’s-it’s pretty.” >”Aw, thank you sweetie.” Celestia leaned down and smooched him on his head before turning him around and patting his bottom with a wing. “Now why don’t you go outside and play? It’s a beautiful day!” “You sure are…” >”What was that?” “It sure is!” ======================================================================================================================================= Dear flankface, That's it, I'm done! I'm through trying to win you over. I've tried everything to get you to notice me from being helpful, sexy, mysterious and I've even going as far as to offer to let you do whatever you want to me in exchange for a single date. If I ever have to pretend to laugh at one of your stupid jokes again, I swear I'm going to burn down the palace! Well guess what, mister "I'm too good for dumb old Twilight". While you're away on your pointless diplomatic exchange, I'm going to be here, getting REAL close to your dear mommy and auntie. Don't worry, I'll be sure to snuggle them extra tight for you, since you can't do it yourself, and if my hoof just so happens to wander... well these things happen. Oh, and by the way, your "cousin" Cadance is married to my brother, so that means you're not allowed to do what you always do with her anymore or else I'm telling. I bet she thinks Shining Armor is way better at sex than you, you know. Also I went into your room and touched all your things. You really had every single issue of Playcolt published in the last ten years? Wow, that's sad. I say "had" because you don't have them anymore, since I threw them out. I also sold that one of a kind erotic photograph signed by Fleur de Lis and used the bits to by myself a new dress, that I'll be wearing when I hang out with your family tonight. Yours unfaithfully, PRINCESS Twilight Sparkle. P.S. Find enclosed a picture of what a great time we've all been having without you. Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle Who are you again? I know that there a lovely few princesses left in Equestria, but your name (which I obtained from your lovely letter), doesn't ring any bells. I'm wondering if you're that lovely pink-coated mare in the photograph you enclosed. Ah I do so love the memories of ravaging you for days all those summers ago. If not, I do so apologize for mixing you up with the other lovely mare. In the meantime, I'd like to ask you a few questions about the current ruling class of Equestria as it stands in its current state. You see, I've been having a rather nice time with the Griffon population, and just finished functioning as a mediator between them and the Dragon nation of Angsgard. They'd been asking me if there was any way I could set up a meeting with your regent, that we might come to a peaceful agreement over the current borders of your land. In this case, they wish for me to function as a mediator for that old land I found myself raised in. I do so eagerly wait for your reply. Yours truly, Ambassador Anon E. Mous P.S. I do so hope we can avoid any un-necessary bloodshed. Your green lands would be very unbecoming as ashen wastes. Dear Anonymous, Skies above, this 'retreat' with her highness Princess Twilight has proven worse than receiving a root canal from Bulk Biceps. She rused Cadence and myself to come along under the guise that we'd be visiting the historic sites in neighboring kingdoms. All she's done is snap selfies and prattle on about how cool her brother is. Cadence and myself are becoming quite annoyed with not just her, but with the great distance between us. We are going WANTING over here, sunshine, and if Princess Twilight doesn't let up, she's going to meet with an unfortunate end. End of dis' hoof in dat bitches face, yahmean son? That's all for now, sweetheart, me & 'cady' send our love Dear Celestial Skies Mother, mother, I do miss you truly. My silly letter to the young Princess was just to "get her goat" as it were. I do so dread the distance between us, but look forward to the time in which we are reunited. I just hope that in the meantime you're proud of what I've accomplished thus far. It would appear that many of these great nations have an appreciation for my negotiation abilities, as well as my general skills as an orator. It's a lovely thing to know that I'm helping bring the known-world together. Not much longer, at any rate, until I can return home to your welcoming hooves. Yours truly and most graciously, Anon E. Mous P.S. I love you mum. Try not to smack the filly around TOO much. ======================================================================================================================================= >You giggle as you cuddle around Mommys neck "You look beautiful Mommy!" >"Oh thank you sweetheart, I, I really love my new haircut!" >You can't help but cuddle her closer, just as Luna comes in the room. >"Oh Celestia, you really have to stop letting Anon have his way all the time..." >Mommy frowns as she turns to look at her. "Go outside and play in the Sun okay sweetheart?" "Okay Mommy." >You give her a kiss on the nose, before standing up from your kneeling position, towering over the two, before you start racing outside. >Ripples appear on the surface of glasses of water as you race. >"Really Celestia, he's eighty two years old, don't you think he should... Grow up?" Luna asks, concerned. >Celestia chuckles. "Oh my no, he's immortal, what's 82 compared to the thousand years I've lived? Besides... He still lets me kiss him in naughty places without a clue as to what it means... And... So much more.." >Outside, you take a swig from the whiskey bottle you hid in the bushes, wondering when Luna will finally cave in and jump on your hot monkey dick. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Pfft, funny joke, Spike! As if Anon would be interested in some malnourished mare like Fleur. Trust me, he'd want somepony with curves and who isn't afraid of real food." God damn, Twilight's a fat little piggy. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, what do you think of this sun hat? A little wide, I think. Oh, perhaps I should get one for your aunt..." "It's fine, mom." >"Oh sunshine~, how about a nice gift for your marefriend, hmm?" "Not this shit again..." >"Language, mister. And stop that scowling or I shall have to tickle you. You're never going to attract any mates being such a sourpuss!" I want grand-foals, sweetie. "Please don't, we're in public." >"I can help you get started, if you'd like. Look! She appears to be well-endowed. Go talk to her! Compliment her pretty eyes and you'll have her on her back in no time." "Ponies are staring." ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Mom, do you hear that?" >'Hear what, sunshine?' >"Mom, it's the 'JAWS' theme, you can't hear it?" >'Hm...it seems to be coming from outside in the courtyard.' >You look down from the balcony >"Oh no...Chief, Mr. Hooper..she's back." >'Who, sweethea-..OH, Anonymous look it's Ms. Melody your cello instructor-' >"That is NOT what she does at all, mom. No, once you leave the room she 'instructs' in quite a different way." >Cheller horse's bowtie looks loosened and her normally immaculate mane is looking frayed..in a hot psycho way "GOOD EVENING, MY LOVE, PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD?" >"NO." >'DO come in, Ms. Melody." >"..Mom." "Eh alroit dunt mind if i do, much obliged, Princess-, eh..*ahem*, I'd be delighted." >Mom leaves the balcony and makes for the door >You look back down to Octavia >She's hotdogging her bow maintaining eye contact with you, biting her lip >'..B-bigger boat.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"P-please sunshine, reconsider, please." >'Don't worry, mom. I'm coming back. I just..I'd like to see more of Equestria. I'm not abandoning you or Auntie.' >"Why? The possible dangers you could face, A-anonymous, I couldn't live if anything happened to you." >'You're just being dramatic, mom. I've made up my mind. I love you, SO much, but I have to do this.' >Mom dabs at her eyes with her wingtips >"So must I." >'Huh?' >"Anonymous, my whole world, my very reason for being, please understand that like all else I have done for you, this is an act of love." >Her horn begins to glow, not her usual soft glowing aura, it looks like it's about to go full mjolnir >'...Mom?' Mom, what're you doing?' >"I..I just want you to stay my little boy for awhile longer, p-please." >Before you can get words out, you get blinded by the light >You feel tingly all over >"There he is. Theres my little ray of sunshine.." >Opening your eyes, you find yourself looking up at mom, something you hadn't done since you were a child >'M-mom, what'd you do?!' You say, voice cracking >She nuzzles you fiercely as you finish your sentence >"Shhh, it's not permanent. I've just age regressed you a bit. Your Aunt and I just aren't ready for you to leave, sweetheart." >Well fuck, you'd be lying if you didn't kind of like the thought of going through adolescence again in their care. Horny mares. >"Oh I know that look..how bout we go out for ice cream and on the way back we'll leave a flaming bag of griffon shit on Twilight's doorstep?" >I HEARD MENTIONS OF FUN-, WHERE IS THE FUN, HAVE WE MISSE-..Nephew? Thou appears to have taken a more youthful form.. >Horny mares. Proceed good sir. >Resigned to your 'fate', you roll your eyes and plod over to them in your now oversized clothes >Mom is positively beaming, she's got the heart shaped pupils going on, while Auntie looks more like Mr. Kimura ogling a young student >Gulp >"Luna, we were just about to head out for ice cream..and a quick stop at Twilight's on the way back, would you care to join us?" >'Yeah Auntie, we can have an ice cream cone race!-..wait, why'd I say that?' >Mom leans down and licks your neck >"Because. You're now my sweet, virile, boy instead of my strong, potent, man." >So you're mentally 13, too? That's some sick bad tight dope shit, dawg >Wait, you were also a total horndog, always were >Suddenly it feels like the room is getting hotter, and smaller >Sister, w-what say we take a reigncheck on that ice cream, at the moment we find ourselves famished for a more delectable sweet~ >Anon jr begins to stir >"Anonymous, sunshine, why don't we retire for the night, and you can brush our tails like you used to?" >'..That'd be cool.' >BLAST IT ALL, WE CANNOT WAIT! >Auntie closes the distance between you two in the blink of an eye >'Aunt-, ahh~..ooh, w-wha..huh?" >She's got her snout buried in the crotch of your loose fitting adult pants >Her magic aura makes quick work of them and she's soon taken your length into her mouth >YESSS, oh sister, his young fresh scent is overwhelming to the senses, m-mayhaps his seed just as sweet >You lean forward and massage Auntie's ears as you gently hump into her maw >A warm languid lick to the back of your neck lets you know mom approves >"Lulu has always been a bit jealous that I was blessed with you, Sunshine. I did this for her as much as myself." >Mmph, shhoooo good~ >'Auntie I'-, I'm I'm gonna cum!' >YESH! nshied, nshiy! >You must resemble some kind of overgrown facehugger as you nibble your aunt's ears and gently piston your hips emptying out your cum in her mouth >She steps back and app-..yeah swirling it around in there >Viscous..definitely has a sweet tang to it..taste is consistent. Astonishing performance nephew >'..Y-you too.' You croak out as mom's aura levitates to on her back. >"Look at him, Luna, positively spent. We may have to be gentle with him in his new boyish state." >'I..I ain't no pansy..I c-can..ahhh~..damn, mom.' >You weren't even aware you'd been rubbing your dick against her velvety soft coat while splayed out atop her back >"Oh my, dat refractory period.." >'Zzzzzz.' >Auntie Luna plants a soft kiss upon your lips >Sleep well, Nephew. We shall dream of thee. >Mom carefully trots off with your spent self atop her back >"How did that song from the show 'Step by Step' go, Sweetheart?" >'Zzz..'we'll make it better...zzz..the second time around.' >"Yes. We will." ======================================================================================================================================= i need a cute story were Anon Celestia and Luna have a dance party. (Cadence can join if she wants.) >"This shit's going to be so cash, mom." >'I agree, it's been too long since we've held a party at the palace.' >"Whose all invited?" >'Your Auntie ofcourse, Cousin Cadence, The Elements, and some important diplomats from Saddle Arabia.' >Your eyes lit up >You know how much those normally pious horses like to party once outside their kingdom >Not to mention their diplomats are all virgin mares >"Unf..g-god willing." >"..Wait, The Elements? Mom, isn't BookDork Neverlaid technically an element bearer?" >'Oh don't worry about that, sunshine. The 'Wheres Star Swirldo' books I gave her ought to keep her occupied.' >Theres a knock at the door >'Ah, it seems the first of our guests has arrived. Sunshine, HIT IT!' >You press play on the soundsystem you scored out of that hot mute wubhorse >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1abJJZutkz4 >Mom answers the door >'Cadence, so glad you could make it!' >H-hello Auntie, Anonymous. Shiny sends his reguards, apparently he neglected to tell me he was having a stallions night out with Flash Sentry >"Hi Condense~" You say making your way over to her and going in for a kiss and a smack of those heart emblazoned pink cheeks >A-anonymous, Princess, wait please..I uh..brought a guest, if that's alright >"Oh, anyone we know?" >Her ears droop and she rolls her eyes, and suddenly "W-WHATS UP BITCHES!! PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP IN DA HOOOUSE!! YEAAYUH!!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"H-hello, Prince Anonymous." >'..How'd you get in my house-, MOM, SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN.' >"No no wait, I-..OH PLEASE, PLEASE, WHY CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER!! I EVEN COMPILED ANOTHER 1,000 REASONS WHY!" >A very angry momhorse appears in the living room "Twilight, I'm willing to overlook the obvious breaking and entering, but when you disturb my son during vidya.." >"P-princess, no! He's-, I must have him!, P-please!! I can share, too! I'll be cool! CADENCE!! CADENCE, TELL THEM!!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, am I smelling what I think I smell? I have told you not to 'clean up' with your laundry!" "No, mom, it's not that. In fact, I'm not sure what it is, but when I woke up a few minutes earlier-" >"Oh, no. I suppose that it doesn't smell like you at all. Actually...now wait just a moment." >She noses at the air intently, her features creasing in disgust before the realization widens in her pupils. "I think...I think it's coming from...my underwear drawer?" >Opening the drawer, you immediately thrust your hand into the disorganized mass of clothing, determined to find the source... >"SUNSHINE, NO!" >...of the stench. Your hands pull away a creased, yellowed pair of boxer shorts. Dried flakes of some unidentifiable substance are caked in patches scattered all over the pair of shorts. Several flakes, disturbed by the movement have crumbled away to rain on the floor below. >The underwear has been used recently. There are several sticky, damp impressions marring the surface of the underwear. You become dimly aware of the fact that they are sticking to your hands, and that rivulets of the substance are dripping down your arms. >Most horrid of all? The ghastly imagery that has been etched into the surface. Crude imaginings of what appears to be your own penis. Stilted images of you and a purple unicorn locked together. Strange runes. Promises of ecstasy and together-ness. Your own name: 'ANoNymOUS', scrawled across them in jagged, frustrated pink lettering. >The pungent odor is all around you, in the center of your brain and seemingly in the pit of your stomach. Time itself has become distorted, and cannot pierce the haze. >You are doubled over in agony, but your mother holds your upper body aloft with a wing while you lean into her. Too weak to support your bodyweight. >It's almost impossible to hear her voice through the ringing, and your own retching. She tells you to stop trying to fight it back as you empty the contents of your stomach onto the floor in spurts; her other wing passing over your face periodically to wipe away the tears and the bile. >It seems like an eternity passes, but at some point your aunt barged into the room. >"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? MUST I PAY A VISIT TO THE KITCHENS AND DEMAND AN ANSWER FROM THE CHEFS THERE? I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF THOSE TWO-FACED FIENDS AND NOW THEY HAVE ATTEMPTED TO POISON THE ROYAL FAMILY, WE MUST- >"LUNA. Look." >The crusty drawers are held aloft for your aunt to examine, whose expression turns grim once she finds the etchings. >"Luna, please seal the castle. I'm afraid that our staff cannot be trusted with this, as they may answer to any royalty, including Sparkle. Use your own magic, and be thorough. Twilight is a crafty foe. Then see to it that Anonymous is safe. >"Of course, sister. Will you...?" >"I shall handle 'The Purple Sperg' myself." ======================================================================================================================================= >That pic. > >Be Anonymous. >It was your mother's birthday. >Mom had long ago grown tired of big birthday celebrations, no mare really wanted to hear, "Happy 15610th birthday!" >Instead, all she asked for from you was to spend the day with you. >You both had a nice breakfast, took a walk along the Canterlot waterfront, had lunch in the city, saw a wonderful play, and were now relaxing on a hill which gave a great view of the land towards Ponyville and beyond it. >You felt a gentle breeze as Mom wrapped a wing around you, pulling you closer. >She sighed, resting her chin on your shoulder. "Something wrong Mom?" >She looked at you, with a hint of surprise. >"Oh, me? No, nothing at all. Just happy to be able to spend the day with my little ray of sunshine." >After some time passed, she spoke up. >"Anonymous did I ever tell you how you came to be my lovely little sunbeam?" "Yes Mom, a million ti-" >"Well, I'm going to tell you again." >You look at her, rolling your eyes. >"Oh hush, it's my birthday. I'm allowed to be overbearing." >"Anyway, where do I begin..." >Be Celestia. >Meetings, meetings, and more meetings. >If the Minotaur delegate pushed ONE MORE trade agreement that tried exchanging their protein powder for your goods, you were probably going to teleport him to the frozen North. >Despite what he claims, your country cannot run on 'sweet gainz.' >Taking a brief recess, you excused yourself to the royal gardens where the castle servants had laid out a small lunch and tea. >As you juggled documents, tiny sandwhiches, and tea, your mind began to wander elsewhere. >Memories began to creep in of your adventures, centuries before you became a glorified stamp presser. >Battling dragons, saving the commonfolk from peril, even a romantic fling here and there. Why there was even this one stallion Luna courted-... >Oh Lulu, oh how you missed your sister. That much was obvious. >You loved your ponies, you knew that in your heart to be true, but was this what the rest of your life was going to be like, however long it went for? Signing documents and attending ceremonies for the more times then you can count? >Sure, there were bright sparks here and there, that filly Twilight Sparkle was promising. Not every day a little unicorn sends a dragon through the roof of your castle. She even got her Cutie Mark! >You were hoping to take her under your wing, but even she went home to her parents at the end of the day. >All you really wished for was someone who could be there for you. >And as you took one last bite of a sandwich, you got your wish: >"Waaaaaaahhh!" >Hmm? What was that? You're almost certain you could hear a foal crying inthe distance. You stop munching and listen closer. >... >... >"Wh-whaaaaaaah!" >Yes, that was the sound of a crying foal...surely it's mother would come for it soon? You didn't even know the garden was open to visitors today. Was it? >... >... >"Wh-wh-whaaaaaaah!" >This could wait no longer. You would find the foal and comfort it until you could find it's mother. >You dropped all you had in your magic and raced deeper into the garden. >Following the noise, you eventually came to a lovely rosebush with a picturesque basket placed on top. How quaint. >Floating the basket over to you and setting it on the ground, you decided to take a peek inside, speaking with a little cutesy voice. "Well, let's just see the cute little face that's making this cry for help!" >You peel back the blanket, only to be startled by what's inside. >It was not a pony, and you were not quite sure exactly what it was. >From what you could tell, it appeared to be some sort of hairless primate, but much, well, softer. Cute eyes, a crop of dark hair on the top of his head. >Well, you /guessed/ it was a he. >You took a quick peek under the blanket. >Yep. It's a he. >Thankfully he stopped crying for the moment. He appeared to be in awe of the giant white Alicorn that was able to hold him in one hoof. "I wonder what your name is..." >You looked all around and inside the basket, but the only thing it produced was a scrap of paper with a question mark on it. "Hmm. I think Anonymous sounds like a good name for you." >She smiled at Anonymous, and Anonymous smiled back. >The more she looked at this strange baby creature, the more she felt at ease. >While she was not sure about age characteristics about whatever Anon was, she was pretty sure he wasn't more than a few weeks old. >He reached out with two stubby arms, trying to pull her head closer. >She lifted her hoof up to her face, allowing Anon full reach, with which he promptly burried his face in her soft muzzle. "Oh-hoo, that tickles!" >She pulled him away and looked at his bubble laughing face. >She wasn't a changeling, but she could feel the pure love and adoration coming off of him. >Sitting on her rear, a single tear ran from her eye. "You seem to have enough love for me, hopefully I have enough love for you." >And with a kiss, her mind was set. She would take this poor forsaken creature, and raise him as her own. "My little Anonymous." >"If you ask me it still sounds as cheesy as some Manehatten love story. You found me in the bushes all alone, with no clue as to where I came from? Blech." >You playfully batted at his arm. "Oh my son, always the romantic one." >"Yeah, well, Cousin Blueblood thinks I'm an alien from another planet." >You laughed. "Well, I think Blueblood read too many of those science comics when he was a colt." >Anonymous laughed too, before getting up and stretching. >"I'm gonna head back to the carriage. Silver Quill says we have to be at the restaraunt soon if we want to be in time for the reservation. However, I don't think they'd turn away the Sun Goddess if she was a few minutes late." "Oh, don't worry my dear, I'll be there in a moment." >With that Anonymous began to head back to the carriage, leaving you alone on the hill, gazing towards the horizon. "Alien from another planet..." >Your ears flattened against your head as you sighed, this time sadly. "If only you knew." ======================================================================================================================================= >"-Oh, the look on her face when I pointed that shotgun at her!" >'..I..I remember mom, that was uh..my senior prom..and you *ahem* had words with my date.' >Mom downs another of her 'official' seabreezes >If official means pour a teaspoon of cranberry and grapefruit juice into a quart of vodka >"Heeey~ I'm a little dry over here, sweetie, you think you can grab the other pitcher in the *hic* ice bo- *hic*, in-, in the cold..thingy?" >'The fridge, mom? The former nfl player?' >Mom stares blankly for a second before guffawing a cute drunk laugh with a snort at the end >"Gets his sense of humor from his mama he does." >'I gotcha, mom. I'll get your drank on.' >You leave the patio to go inside to get some aforementioned refreshments >She deserves to let loose like this now and then, what with Twilight fucking shit up with those Yakyakistan bros, and 2 elements telling Gryphonia's ministry of the interior 'Scones will fix your economy.' >'Alright, mom, I got-...mom?' >"Over heeere~" >'Well, I guess we haven't done it in the pool yet..' ======================================================================================================================================= >"MOM!!, MOM, Mom! Dad's home! YAY!!" >"Ohh, I wonder what his story is THIS time. 'Honey, I just stepped out to get milk when I saw this ring and thought of you~'..indeed." >'Hi dad!!' Heeey Tiger, damn, you're catchin up to your old man. Tia he's growin like a weed! How old're you now huh? >'I'mmm...THIS many!' >Anon holds up both hands, rapidly opening and closing them Hahah, pretty soon he'll be able to buy cider, tame his own fell beast.. >"*AHEM*" Tia...sweetheart, you don't look happy to see m- ok ok ok hey thats understandabl-, LOOK, JUST LET ME EXPLAIN ALRIGHT! >You try on dad's armor and make vwing noises with his sword >'Kuhhh..Luke...I am your father..hohhh..hhahahah.' >"When are you going to grow up, huh? Anonymous needs a father. Not some 'pal' who shows up once in an eternity with items you took from the dead, elf whores or heaven forbid, one of those fell beasts." >Wuh oh, you figure it's about time you left this particular battlefield >'Go easy on him, mom.' >"No promises, sweetheart." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Come Dearest Nephew! Tis far too warm for thee to play outside in Sister's Sun. Play inside with me instead." >She says as she saunters up to you. "Um... okay. What did you have in mind?" >You notice she is wearing a pair of panties. >She only wears those when she wants to... >Aunt Luna magics over a video game controller for you and puts an earpiece into her ear. >"I shall teach thee the skills of 'Quick Sniping' and 'Camping' then together we shall 'Pown' the competition till they return crying to their mothers." "But didn't you say how you hate when gamers do both of those things online?" >"TIS ONLY EGREGIOUS WHEN DONE AGAINST US! Otherwise tis a legitimate strategy." >You sigh and put in your own earpiece. "Alright, but you aren't allowed to use the Royal Canterlot Voice. I don't want to go deaf while I sit next to you." >"Agreed." >She says with a smile. >"Now, let the 'Powning' commence!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Image of book, titled Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipies "The fuck is this...?" >"Mommy's birthday is coming up soon, sweetie. Why don't you bake a cake for me yourself? They always taste better when you know they're made with love.~" >Be Anon, blah blah blah, you know the drill >You're walking through the (surprisingly) quite empty halls of the castle looking for your mother. >Yesterday she expressly forbade you from masturbating for the next day, for some reason. >You held out hope that you would get some horse pussy. You were a guy, after all. >You finally make your way to the dining room after finding no signs of life anywhere else in the castle. >No one there. >You're about to walk away from the kitchen - only the chefs go there regularly and you haven't checked for your mom downstairs - when a yellow magical field throws you into the kitchen and dumps you on the floor. >Your mother is snickering above you. >"I'm sorry Anonymous! I couldn't have my... special ingredient getting away from me." "W-what's this all about, Mom?" >"Well, tonight's your fifteenth birthday, of course! How could you forget?!" >she boops you lightly on the nose and you blush "But what does that-" >Wait. >Special ingredient. >No masturbation. >Oh. OH. >you're so distracted you barely notice your clothes vanishing. >it wasn't like having sweet sex that would make Freud blush was uncommon, but you had to admit you weren't thinking of THIS. >"Come on, Anon. You won't be eating it, the royal family will be." >Revenge on Twiggy Piggy? Worth it. >Sex with Mom? Also worth it. ======================================================================================================================================= >”And this was his first day of kindergarten.” “Awwww, he looks so cute with his little saddlebag.” >Your teacher smiles as she looks at the picture. >”Indeed, he does. But of course I think that when I see any image of him.” “I want you to look at me that way too…” >”What was that?” “Nothing! Hey, is this one of him wearing your crown and regalia?” >”Oh, why yes it is. He wanted to be ‘King of the Sun’ and thought wearing my crown would give him that power. I think we have one of him trying to be ‘King of the Moon’ as well.” >”Hey mom, what’s going on in-“ >Prince Anonymous says before pausing as he enters. >”Mom… is that the family album?” >”Yes it is Sunshine. Twilight here asked if I had any old photos of you and the family, and you know how I love looking at your old pictures.” >He stares at you with love in his eyes. >To anypony else it would look like he is angry and that he was staring daggers at you. >But you know him and how he likes to joke. >”Mom, can I have a word with you in private please?” >”Of course, I’ll be right back Twilight.” “Oh please, take your time.” >She gets up and walks out of the room with him. >You don’t have much time. >Operation ‘Our Love Was Predestined 3.5’ is a go! >And it will totally end better than the other two and a half times you tried this. >You bring out a photo you doctored of a young anon and yourself sitting on a bench together, one of the two of you in a park side by side, and one last one with you both smiling at the camera and his arm around you. >They may have taken you 1000 hours each in E.Q. Paint, but it will totally be worth it when Anon finally realizes you two are meant to be together. >You hear Anon and Princess Celestia coming back into the room. >You need to move fast and put the photos into the book so they look natural. >”Sweetheart, I just don’t know why you’re in such a fuss. It’s just some old pictures.” >”That’s what I’m worried about. She’s too smart and crafty to just want to look at old pictures. I think she’s planning something.” >He thinks you’re smart! >Oh Sweet Celestia this is a wonderful day! >”I think you’re overthinking things honey, she isn’t that bad. You should really give her a chance.” “Hello Prince Anonymous! It’s so good to see you today!” >Okay, that was a little louder than it probably should have been but it’s fine. >”So what are you doing here Twiggy?” >Oh listen to him and his cute pet names for you. >Further proof you two are meant to be together. “Well, I just happened to be in Canterlot and in the vicinity of the castle and thought I would stop by and see the Princess if she was free.” >”And then the subject of family photos came up and then you came in after that.” “The princess seems to be enjoying herself looking at- Wow I almost forgot about this!” >You say acting surprised when you flip the page and see your fake pictures. >Princess Celestia walks up to your and looks at an image of a young Anon and yourself side by side. >”Hmm, I’m not sure I remember this.” >”Let me see that.” >Anon picks up the album and examines the image. >”See sunshine? You and Twilight got along so well back when you were younger. Why don’t you try to be friends again?” >YES! >”This never happened mom. It’s got to be a fake.” >”Now don’t be ridiculous. Oh and look, here you two are again together. You’re both so cute.” >It’s happening! >”No no no no no, this is not right at all. Something about all this just doesn’t add up.” >”Nonsense, maybe you just don’t remember because you haven’t seen these in so long.” >He looks at you lovingly again. >”You… you did this somehow. I don’t know how but I know you did this.” “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. Wow, will you look at the time. I should really be heading back, but it was ever so nice to catch up with you Princess and Prince.” >”A pleasure as always Twilight.” >You quickly gather up your things and start to leave. >You also overhear them talking as you exit the room. >”You know she did this. Part of one of her master plans to get us together.” >”Maybe, but would it really be that bad?” >”Mom!” >Yes, the seed is planted. >Now you just need to wait for that tree to bear fruit. >You should also try and steal a pair of his underwear while you’re here. >For research purposes of course. >"Mom, why can't you just accept your former protoge' is a needy psycho." >'You really think somepony would do that, Sunshine? Just go on the internet and make fake pictures like that?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Geez Twilight, didn't get you shown enough affection as a filly? All clingy an shit." >'Haha, I know, how pathetic, right mom?' >"Too true, sweetheart. I mean she's a grown mare and she's practically starved for contact and a few kind words." >'You need help Twilight.' >"She sure does. Come, Anonymous, let's turn in for the night." >'Alright, mom.' >Anonymous strips nude and climbs atop Celestia back and feeds her grapes on the way to her bedchambers >He turns back and sticks his tongue out at a confused Twilight ======================================================================================================================================= >"Get nude, get nude, get nude, get nude, get nude..c'mooon, get naked already." >'Tia, it's the kitchen, and he's making a sandwhich.' >"Nonsense, Lulu, I've disabled the palaces's ac unit and have scheduled today to be especially hot. He'll be nude green putty in our hooves soon enough." >'..T-tis a mental image we did not wish for, sister.' >"Well not literal putty but you get the id-, NUDE HE'S GETTING NAKED, YES, OH TARTARUS, YES" >'H-HE'S DISROBED?? WHERE WE DINE? unf..w-..whats he doing now?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"..You ok, mom? You've got this uh, parkinsons thing going on." >'N-never better, sunshine, why do you UNF a-ask?' >"No reason, it's just that you seem to be experiencing an orgasm at the moment. You're looking a little antsy over there, Auntie." 'WE HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST CLUE AS TO WHAT YOU ARE REFERRING TO, NEPHEW.' >Your lust laiden moonmaiden Aunt suddenly ditches her tea and lunges across the table at you >She's caught in mom's magic grasp >'Lulu, no. Y-you know very well in this heightened state of sexual euphoria we could very well shatter his pelvis..' >"..You uh, kinda trailed off at the end there, mom." >Their heat's make them more hedonistic than usual >'So I did.' She says, beginning to smirk >An evil, Grinch type 'and her libido grew 3 sizes that day' >'Luna, are you pondering what I'm pondering?' ..We thinketh so, sister, but praytell where would we locate a fortune teller and rubber pants at this hour? >"..Uh, yeah, hi, I'm still right here." >'You're wasting your head-start, Sunshine.' >"My wha-..ah, shit.." ======================================================================================================================================= >'Oh my, to w-what do I owe this pleasure, Prince An-' >"Yeah no time for pleasanties, Purple Sperg, I'm here for the dragon. Mom's fax machine is out." "I'm ready, Anon! Las Pegasus here we c-.." >'Las Pegasus?' >"I'm going to level with you, Twiggy Piggy. There is no fax machine. Never was. Mom's just taking all government employees on a weekend getaway." >'W-why wasn't I invited?' >"As it turns out 'Princess of Friendship' might be a royal title, but your duties are more akin to that of a community organizer. Keep an eye on the place, ok?" "Bye Twilight! I'll tell Shining Armor & Cadence you said hi!" >'..Y-you too.' ======================================================================================================================================= >Evil Celestia >"I don't understand what's come over him, Luna. He used to LOVE impaling ponies on spikes, now all he does is cringe and make this 'Ooh' face.." >'Perhaps some variety is in order, Sister. He used to love raping & pillaging, did he not? Why not go on a raid, just the two of you.' >"I hope that's enough, I sincerely do. It just seems as though he's..changed. If he doesn't come around soon, I may have to kill him myself." Meanwhile in Regular 'Questria with Not Evil Mom.. >"Luna, have you noticed anything different about Anonymous? He spikes his hair, only wears black, whenever we pass he extends a hand and shouts 'HEIL!'." >'..Truth be told, sister, I kind of like him this way.' >"Shh, there he is now. Hi, Sweetie~!" HEIL, MOTHER, HEIL, AUNTIE, what evil bidding of yours shall I perform, my dark mistresses? >"Oh I don't know, sweethear-" >'PLEASURE US UNTIL WE COMMAND THEE TO STOP.' "Ofcourse, I live only to serve." >"...Rats. I wanted to go first." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Calm yourself, Anonymous. Now is not the time for fear. That comes later." >'Have fun with your lessons, sweetie.' "THESE ARE NOT CELLO LESSONS, MOM! DO SOMETHING!" >'Oh always pitching a fit, fine you big grump. Ms. Octavia, my son has this WILD notion that you're actually a sexual deviant after his royal cock, is this true?' >"Ofcoursh.-..Eh, Ofcoursh not." >'See, Anon? Now I want you to memorize those scales good for your recital. Your Aunt and I are very much looking forward to it.' "Goddamnit mom! she's fucking psychooooooooooo!!!!!!!!...." >Anon's cries grow fainter and fainter as he leaves attached to that plane >"My sunshine, he doesn't fly so good.." ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-that's not going to work this time, mom. You ate 40 cakes, and that's terrible." >Her butt remains up in the air, mocking you, calling to you '..Anonymous, do me~' >"..I saw your lips moving, mom." >'Hehehe, c'mere sweetie, mommy wants to ASS you something.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"..You ok there, mom?" >'Never better.' >"You sure?" >'Like, DUH, Anon-..I mean yes, perfectly fine.' >"So, you didn't mess up an age spell or anything?" >'AS if..w-why would I want to do that? If only f-for the two of us to ravage each others young, developing bodies.' >"Mom, I..." >'Anonymous, you..." ======================================================================================================================================= >Sniffing loudly, Twilight stuffed her face with another large bite of hay burger followed immediately by a generous helping of fries. >"Y-You know the problem with stallions these days, Spike? They're afraid of a mare with curves!" >Levitating the greasy napkin that came with her meal up to her face, she loudly blew her nose. >"Stupid thin privilege Saddle Arabian slut probably only eats a slice of lettuce a day! Probably because she drinks so much cum... Y'know, because she's a dumb slut!" >Sniffing again, Twilight levitated her magic laptop over to where where was sitting amidst piles of discarded tissues and empty fast food containers. >"Just wait until Pony Tumblr hears about this!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Ayy sweetthang'..yeah, you. Why don't you hop in and we'll go park somewhere and fuck?" >"I know you hear me, honey, quit playin hard to get." ..Anon is that your mom following us in that car? >'W-what? Nah, man..y-you're trippin...dawg.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"HELLO, DEAR NEPHEW!" >The sudden noise feels like a nail being driven into your skull. "Shit, aunty, keep it down with the Canterlot voice. I had a rough night and my head's killing me." >Among other, more fleshy things. >"Verily." >Looks like your aunty was in one of her 'I refuse to learn to speak like a normal person' phases again. "I reckon I probably got only about two or three hours sleep." >But what a night. >"We concur, that sounds correct given the time the squeaking stopped." "Uh... what? Don't tell me you're talking about-" >Oh gods, please no. >"An impressive performance, nephew, well done." >It's okay, just pretend it isn't a big deal and that you're not embarrassed. "Thanks?" >"So have you successfully fertilized Emilia?" >Well at least your aunty was getting closer to the correct name. >She'd called your marefriend Adara before. "Emilia? You know her name's Amira, right?" >"It matters not. Have you impregnated her." >What? How did she expect you to know that? You weren't psychic. "I don't know." >"You did achieve completion, did you not?" >You pray to the stars above to just fucking kill you already and end this humiliation. "Well yeah, but we weren't doing it the usual way... you know?" >Good going! >Nobody would guess how mortified you are right now. >"Not the usual way? We don't unde- Oh! You mean that you... in her... Oh, I see." >And boy, was it ever good. "Yeah, so... yeah." A moment of silences passes between the two of you, and you swear you see a hint of awkwardness in your aunty's body language. >"Didst thou know that such acts of depravity used to be punishable by public lashing when we were younger?" "Sorry." >"Hmm, no matter. We shall instruct the cooks to double thy bacon ration this morning so that thou hast enough protein to fulfil thy princely duty this evening and father an heir." "But what if-" >"Neigh, there are to be no butts this time." "That's not what I was going to say." >Tfw your sister and whorish niece turned your beloved nephew into a degenerate sodomite bound for tartarus. >Tfw if you'd been his mother, he'd have been raised correctly and would only engage in heterosexual vaginal intercourse in the ponystyle position solely for the purpose of fathering offspring, as nature intended. >Tfw he should have fathered at least half a dozen children by this point and at his age, just like the alicorn princes of old. >"H-he means in the butt, Aunti-" >'WE ART FAMILIAR WITH THE BACKDOOR PRACTICES OF OLD, THANK YOU.' >"Oh, I'd say MORE that familiar, Lulu. Remember when father caught you in the back seat of the chariot with that young captain of the royal guard? Lulu? You remember that? He was all BAM, BAM, BAM, and you were all like 'Oh yes, Duskshine, breed my royal rear like a cheap whorse' and daddy was all like 'Luna, you have brought dishonour on both yourself and this family' remember?" >"Oh yes, Celestia? W-Well you were only father's favorite because you let him come to your room and touch you when mother was away! There, now everypony knows!" ======================================================================================================================================= "Hmm, so you're saying I should stick my dick in a mare's vagina and not her ass next time? I think I know what you mean, aunty, but perhaps you should show me again just to be sure." >Your demented aunt looks back at you with exasperation, her belly already distended from the baby you'd knocked her up with months ago. >"Oh for the love of the stars, Anonymous, this is the thirty-seventh time I've shown you! You even got it right the first time when I showed you, so how have you forgotten? All you have to remember is to put it in the long slit, and not the-" >Cousin Cadance clears her throat politely to get your attention. >"Perhaps I could show cousin Nonny this time, aunty? He'll get it eventually, I'm sure." >Walking over to the pink mare, you trail a hand down her back and give her rear a firm squeeze. "Oh no, you'll be the one getting it, Cadey." ======================================================================================================================================= >You're currently pummeling moms vagina >You know, nothing outta the ordinary, just a mother showing her son the birds & the bees >"Outstanding, Nephew, withdraw slowly and enter her quickly again." >'Reach down for her teats now and then, Anon.' >Auntie & Cadence are here for added experience and pointers >"S-sssunshine, ooh~ That's h-heavenlly..haa." H-HEY, I CAN'T SEE-, I WANNA SEE, TOO! >'Twilight, shhh! This is an intimate moment. As the Princess of Love, if you can't contain your jealousy, I'll have to ask you to leave.' >"Cease thy foalish prattling, Purple Oaf, you're causing my nephew to lose focus. Ignore her, Nephew, focus only on your mothers inner walls." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anooooon, broham, friendo, whats up dude?" >'...You've literally never said two words to me, Flash.' >"Whaat? Nah, man, I was uh..just intimidated, man. I mean like, your swag is off the chain, son, yahmean?" >'Somebody told you my mom was Principal Celestia, didn't they.' >"Huh? Who? Psssh, nah dawg, I didn't even know that, but now that you mention it.." >'Drop it. I go through this shit everyday with faggots, 'Urrr h-hey bro, you wanna chill?' and they do it just to see my mom.' >"Anon, dudemigo, brodawg, I'm hurt you'd think that. I just want to get to know a cool guy like yourself better." >You roll your eyes and sigh >'What'd you have in mind, Flash.' >"W-we could all go swimming." >'..How'd you know I have a pool, Flash..' >"Umm..I MAY have possibly like..saw your mom nude sunbathing-, ANON, BRO, N-NO PLEASE, NOT THE FACE!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"How come you never have friends over, sweetheart?" >'Rather not say, mom.' >"D-doth thou lack friends, nephew?' >'It's not that, Auntie, no.' >"What is it then, sunshine?" >'...You're seriously asking why, mom?' >"Well, yes, I'd like to think my boy is likable enough to have friends over now and then." >'That's not what I meant.' >"Then praytell what is the reason, nephew?" >'You're both nude, you realize that, right?' >"BAH, we have always thought undergarments & brassiers to be tyrannical and conformist. While we art in our own home, we prefer to be native, as they say." >"It really is just more comfortable to let the girls out, sweetie." >'Well just the same, I'd prefer my friends didn't see the two of you..like this.' >"Oh isn't that sweet, Lulu, he doesn't want anyone 'checking out' his mother & aunt~" >"Agreed, sister, though can we blame him?" >Mom & Auntie hug you as you sit watching tv, making your face the filling in their tit sandwhich >'..Anyway, this is why.' You say, albeit muffled ======================================================================================================================================= "What do you mean I didn't get the job‽" >The suited pony sitting across from you on the other side of the desk recoils slightly at your outburst. >"We're sorry, Miss Sparkle, but my colleagues and I simply feel that you're not suitably qualified for the position. It'd be irresponsible of us to employ somepony without the proper-" >You slam your hooves down on the table, sending pens, pencils and various other items of stationary clattering to the floor. "Don't you know who I am‽ I'm The PRINCESS of friendship! I was princess Celestia's most accomplished student for years!" >The pony opposite you adjusts his tie and clears his throat. >"Be that as it may, our records show that since leaving education under the tutelage of princess Celestia, you've not held a single job. You have no workplace experience and... well frankly, Miss Sparkle, we're not entirely sure that a PhD in 'friendship studies' is even a real academic qualification." "What? I ran Ponyville Library for years!" >You suited pony raises an eyebrow. >"Yes, an establishment that burned down unless I'm very much mistaken. In any case, our records show that during your placement at the Golden Oaks library, not a single book was sold or checked out, and the library made a total profit of... what was it now? Ah, yes! Two bits, which your assistant found under one of the bookshelves while dusting." "B-But-" >"We're terribly sorry, Miss Sparkle, but we cannot unfortunately hire you. Perhaps a more entry level position would suit you better? At least until you get a little more experience of the working world." "T-This... This is because I'm a mare, isn't it‽" >"I assure you, it's not. We are an equal opportunities employer and take great pride in-" >With a burst of your magic, you send the neatly ordered paperwork from the desk to the floor to join the pens and pencils from before. "No? But I bet the one you gave the job to was a stallion! Admit it, you misogynistic shitlord!" >A knock at the door behind you prompts you to turn your furious gaze away from the suited pony. >Slowly, the door swings open and in steps a familiar sexy face. >"Everything okay, boss? I heard yelling and what sounded like things falling on the floor." >From behind the desk, the interviewer smiles. >"Ah, Anon! Good to see you. Miss Sparkle, this is the man who we gave the position to. He started last week and so far he's performed far beyond our expectations and has even managed to increase productivity by almost half a percent in his sector." >You swear you feel your eye twitching as you swing your head back around to face the pony behind the desk. "Him! You gave the job to him‽ But he's a... a... All he ever does is bully me and have sex with foreign diplomat's daughters!" >From behind you, Anon scoffs. >"Please, that's not ALL I do. I mean yeah, that's what I'm best known for, and the use of my penis on foreign mares should probably be classified as a war crime, but I'm still princess Celestia's son, and I've had the best education this entire country can provide." >The suited pony nods in agreement. >"His qualifications are both extremely impressive and beyond question, Miss Sparkle." >You think you just felt a blood vessel burst in your eye. "But... He's... Ah! Bucking shitlord patriarchy! Just wait until I tell my online mare's support group about this." >With that, you stand up, shove passed Anon and storm out of the room. >A few tense moments pass between Anonymous and his boss. >"So hey, is that pretty young mare down in accounting your daughter or what?" Stop bullying Twilight guys, she's on the spectrum. >"Oh, miss...Sparkle. Uh, please sit down. I was just looking over your resume...it says here that you've been unemployed these past four years..." "Top lel." >"Excuse me? I was just wondering what you've been doing with your time. I see that you've listed your own name...and the title 'Princess of Friendship' under qualifications. Can you explain how these skills are relevant? "Implying I'm not overqualified." >"I'm sorry, I don't understand." "S-shiggy doo, 1747 years after unification, n-not hiring the smartest, cutest and most talented pupil of Princess Celestia, my face when!" >"Are you feeling alright, miss?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hey. Twilight Sparkle here, I'm up in the hills of Canterlot right now, it's truly a beautiful day. But, as I've always said, a beautiful environment is the darkest hell, if you have to experience it all alone." >"..And sadly, I've been alone for a very long time. I've been the Princess of 'Friendship' for about 2 and a half years now. In those 2 and a half years, I've experienced nothing but loneliness and misery." >"And my problem, is Anonymous. I don't know why he's so repulsed by me, it doesn't make sense. I do everything I can to appear attractive; I dress nice, I'm sophisticated, I'm magnificent. I'm polite, I'm the ultimate gentlemare. Yet, he never gives me a chance, I don't know why." >"I put alot of effort into looking nice. This cane here, 300 bits, Giorgio Ar-mare-ni. See? Look at how fabulous I look." >A cart passes by and the occupants shout 'NICE CANE, FAGGOT!' >"...I will destroy you." Meanwhile at the palace, Anonymous has a random laughing fit. >Meanwhile at the palace, Anonymous has a random laughing fit. >The sudden loud noise rouses several of the young mares sharing his bed with him. >The one currently cuddled up against his left hand side looked up at him curiously, her eyes not yet adjusted to the light as she blinked in bewilderment. >"Hmm? Did you say something, Anon?" >The young prince shook his head, reaching down to give her flank a firm squeeze. "It's nothing, don't worry about it. Hey, but since you're up, why don't you, me and thunder-thighs down there go for round seven?" >Hearing her nickname, the other mare currently sprawled over Anon's lap gazed up at him with an amused grin. >"You're an animal, m'lord. You're going to tire us if y'not careful." >Her voice was shrill and her speech was that of a commoner, but her skills in bed more than made up for it. >Half an hour later. >Several of the mares that had woken now looked on longingly as the young prince once again lay covered in his living blanket of thoroughly satisfied pony pussy, enjoying the post coital bliss. >"What about us, my lord? You haven't had any fun with us since last night." >Anon looked up lazily at the group of mares lying near the bottom of his large bed. "Girls please, you'll get your turn, just give me five minutes. I don't think I actually have a single sperm left." >Just then, a knock came at the door. >"Nephew, we require your presence in our chambers at once for... important paperwork." >Anon sighed tiredly. >It's tough to be the prince. ======================================================================================================================================= "Dad, I already told you that I don't need bodyguards to babysit me when I'm just going on a date with my marefriend. They totally ruin the mood." >"I agree with your father, Anon. You are a prince after all and it's only right that you should be protected." "Protected, mom? The last time a bully shoved me when I was a kid, he 'somehow' ended up getting dragged out into the street in the middle of the night and beaten half to death by what looked suspiciously like a dozen orcs." Sauron is best dad. "Oh, it's you. Did my dad send you to pick me up from school again?" >The imposing figure mounted on the back of the monstrous fellbeast nods slowly but otherwise remains totally silent. >You swear you feel the temperature drop several degrees and the air around you begin to become clammy and suffocating. >You nod over your shoulder to where your marefriend stands cowering behind you. "Can you give her a ride too? We were going to do our homework together." >Nervously, the young mare speaks up. >"T-That's okay, Anon, I'll catch you another time!" >With that, she darts off in the opposite direction, leaving you alone with your dad's friend. "Aww man... I was planning to go knuckle deep in that ass this time too." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, kindly settle an argument for us. Which of us has the most pleasing posterior, dear nephew?" >"What about me, Anon? Shiny never tells me I look nice anymore." >"No, nephew, you must choose. Here look closer and we're sure you'll see that it is our rear that is the superior one." >"F-fuck, man...can't I ever just come into the kitchen without having to judge a best ass contest?" >'Oh boo, sweetheart, why do you hate fun?' >'The contest is not over, nephew. Now thou must decide upon which rump you will dine from.' >"..I have to pick which of your asses I'm going to have my lunch on?" >'Mmmhmmm..hope you like peetzer, Anon.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh Sunshine, I'm so happy we all decided to go on vacation while you still have some of your summer break left. So where would you like to go next on our road trip? Maybe to the Crystal Empire to see your cousin. Perhaps that Kingdom of Magic theme park would be nice. Or maybe you would like to stay at the beach for another day or so. It's all up to you sweetheart." >"Maybe to the crystal empire to see your cousin?" >'YES. THAT. L-LET'S DO THAT.' >"Oh, my sweet boy just loves his cousin Cadence, you two were always so close in your youth." >Meanwhile at the hall of justi-, crystal empire.. >"Shiny? Dear, are you ok? You just shuddered and started shaking out of nowher-..oh yaay~ honey it's a letter from my Aunt & Anonymous!" >'...T-that explains the anxiety attack & vomiting.' >"Ooh I'll have to go make up the master bedroom for hi-..us..them.." ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Look at him, Luna. Perfect specimen of his species. The very epitome of physical fitness and mental sharpness." >'Sister, he hasn't left the couch all day..' >"Shhh..he's getting to that." >"Mom. Mamaaaaa....moooom. Mommy." >"Yes, sunshine?" >"..I'm thirsty." >"Ofcourse, let mommy take care of that." >Mom's up on the couch backing her hindquarters towards Anon at eyelevel >"Right theres good, mom. Can't really put this game on pause so uh.." >He leans over slightly and finds her nipple and begins chugging >'..I..I should be going. Sister, n-nephew.' >"Nn..No, Auntie. Stay. I might still be thirsty after moms done." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Aww, sunshine...doesn't Twilight look so sad all by her lonesome in the corner?" >'I'm not spending the gala white knighting that sperg, mom.' >Mom gives a mock gasp and mutters "Rude" between chuckles >"Well please, for me~, would you mind going over and seeing whats wrong? A depressed princess does not make for a confident leader." >'WEEEEAK.' >Mom plants a kiss on your cheek >"Thank you." >Well fuck fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck >You regret this more and more with every step you take towards the blubbering princess of the friendzone >'..Uh, evening, Twilight. *coughMomsaidIhadtocomeoverhereandmakesureyoudon'tkillyourselforsomeshit..pardon, allergies.' >"......" >'SO..you're ok?' >"W-well, actually, I-" >'GREAT. Glad we had this chat, don't be a stranger, see ya round.' >You walk over to mom with all the swagger of vince mcmahon >"She alright?" >'Unf, n-never better now that I'm back with you mom' you say while cupping her flank >"I..I meant Twilight, sunshine." >'Oh. Uh, yeah, peachy. Or something.' >she deadpans >'..Mom don't do that costanza face please.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh, Anonymous..y-yess~...oh I'll give you all the foals you want, haa..woooh" >'There it is again, mom, you don't hear that?' >"..Alright, Anonymous, I definitely heard it that time. Sounds like it's coming from your room." >'I TOLD YOU THAT TWILIGHTS STUPID CASTLE WAS BUILT ON PONY INDIAN BURIAL GROUNDS AND THAT HER MONSTROSITY OF A HOME DISPLACED THEIR SOULS AND THEY ALL CAME HERE BECAUSE THEY HAVE ISSUES NOT RESO-' >'Hush, you..it seems like the sounds stopped.' >"MMM, GAAH..OH ANONYMOUS~" >..'H-HOW DOES THE GHOST KNOW MY NAME, MOM?' >"That's it! No spirit shall bring harm to my boy!" >You and mom burst into the room like Ponch & John from CHiP's >'HANDS UP NOW HANDS DOWN, TELL ME WHAT YOU GONNA DO NOW, KEEP ROLLI-' >"Anonymous, sunshine.." >'Oh right, BRACE YO SELF PUNK ASS GHO-...Twilight? What're you doing in my laundr- ahh sick, it's everywhere.' >"Using magic to gain acess to an inhabited dwelling? Lewd acts committed with the property of royalty? Twilight, you'll be lucky if ALL I do is send you to the fucking moon." >The pudgy purple princess of the friendzone lazily tips her sticky fedora at you and mutters through her cheeto dusted lips 'So euphoric right now, guys.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Holy shit, mom, you're right. Auntie's butt DOES taste like marble cake!" >'N-nephew please, we beg of thee more licks and nibbles.' ======================================================================================================================================= "You're just getting riled up over nothing, Shining. I'm sure as the princess of love, Cadence honors the vows you two made, to the letter." >'Heh, guess you're right. Thanks for reassuring me, your highness.' >'How do you think Anonymous & Cady have been holding up since we've been gone? There isn't alot to do around the castle..' "Oh I'm sur-..." >Don't lie to yourself, Celestia, you know right now at this very moment, theres a 10-1 chance your son is balls deep in his cousin >Probably teasing her teats and nibbling her ears, the same way he does you >No doubt he's got her bent over some item of furniture, inhaling her mane, hilting inside her and biting the scruff of her neck >Fuck that's hot >'..Your highness?' "We should get back to the palace now." >Maybe you ought to brace Shining Cuck for the worst >No, she IS the princess of love and if it's meant to be, so be it >..besides, Anonymous DOES have a pretty super dick >'Why the sudden rush, Princess?' "Oh n-no reason, Anonymous tends to uh..well he lets his boredom get the better of him when he doesn't have structure." >'Heh, I hear ya. Sometimes it seems like Cady has the attention span of Pinkie Pie.' >"AHH~ Fffuck..n-no more Cadence, I just can't.." >'Y-you ..if you give up, that means I win, Anonymous.' >Oh fuck, seriously? >'...Your majesty, i-is that coming from our chambers?' "N-now, Shining Armor, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.." >'UNF I'LL-, I'LL NEVER GIVE UP, CADENCE, NEVER, GOTCHA!' >"I SUBMIT, AHH~~, oh celestia, I submit, I submit, y-you win." >The two of you burst through the door into the royal couples master bedroom >Where Anonymous & Cadence lie sprawled out on a Twister mat >Later on... "Goodbye Shining, Cadence" >'Bye Auntie, byee Anonymous~' >"Later, Condense. Thanks for having me over, Shiny. Took a beer or two from the fridge, we cool right?" "You gave us quite the jump earlier, sunshine. What with that rigorous game of Twister the two of you were engaged in." >'That's what she said.' "..Oh, Anonymous, sunshine..you didn't." >'I DID, mom. Unf, I spun the wheel and got right nut on left flank. Over and over.' >You're silent in the carriage on the flight back for a while "..I always thought my niece could do better than him anyway." >'You want me to teach you how to play Battleship, mom?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"I *hic*- I *hic*-, I LOVE the mug, shunshine, thanksh." >'Irishing up your coffee a little, mom?' >"AYE." >'Please, mom, don't do the shrek imp-..mom, seriously, WE'RE IN PUBLIC.' >Mom stands up and wavers a bit on her hooves before declaring to the resteraunt that they're all trespassing in her swamp >And that she has to take a fat ogre shit ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh Anonymous, my love, I know you harbor feelings untold for me, soon my love, soon.." >'Gross! Ugh, Twilight can you not schlick off while I'm here? Geez..' >"H-hush spike..c-can't concentrate with you talking..unf" >'..What're we doing here at Crate and Barrel anyway?' >"Haa~..oh..oh that was good. *Ahem* We're here because my dear and his mother are shopping to redecorate the palace." >'Aaand stalking the both of them is going to help you win Anon's heart? I uh..I'm PRETTY sure the book said NOT to do that.' >"Please, Spike, that edition of 'Ponyville Penal Codes And Laws Relating To Stalking' was seriously outdated.." >'Uh..I meant 'How to win friends and influence ponies.' >"Shh! Spike, h-he's coming.." >"..Eugh..mom, did you get the chills right now, too?" >'I did..yeesh, whats THAT about?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Are you guys just going to spend the next couple hours grunting and staring each other down." >'Whatever it takes, Sunshine. Believe it!' >"*sigh*..T-that's Naruto, mom." >'I know, that's the one where Goku is training to be the best pokemon catcher hokage he can be, right?' >"..I'm going back to bed." ======================================================================================================================================= >"It's important we look our best for this coronation, Lulu. We have to be the perfect pictures of staunch, reserved leadersh-.." >"Luna, what is that on your..uh.." >'Stars above! It appears in our haste of acquiring our nephew's seed, a dollop or two was wasted!' >"Oh no, Luna don't lick it of-, ahhh, you did it. I hope Twilight didn't see.." ======================================================================================================================================= Has Cadance restricted Anon to backdoor only since she's gotten married in order to at least honour her vows to some extent, or is he still granted access all areas. Does Shining sleep on the couch when Anon's visiting or the floor at the foot of the master bed? >"Hahaha, are the 3 buffoons not comical, Sir Armor?" >'..N-no, they're funny and all, Princess Luna, my mind is uh..just somewhere else right now, sorry.' >"Ah, ofcourse, it is not easy to drown out those moans of pleasure." >"..Would thou careth to watch something on the television? It may cheer you up." >'Sure. Thanks, Princess.' >"Think nothing of it." >Auntie Luna pats his shoulder >'W-wait, where are you going?' >"We are next in line ofcourse!" >Shining sinks back into the couch and grumbles through reruns of Mr. Belvedere and Perfect Strangers >"Hey, Shining, guess what!" "I don't know, what?" >"I'm pregnant!" "Y-You're... Pregnant? I'm going to be a daddy?" >"What? No not you, silly. You know you're not allowed to cum inside. Cousin Anon's the father, dear. Isn't that great!" "Oh... yeah... great." >"I can't wait to tell Aunty Celestia and Aunt Luna. Oh, and Twilight!" "Could you maybe... you know, not tell my sister?" ======================================================================================================================================= So is Twilight and Shining's mother the only member of their family that Anon doesn't treat like shit? >"Anon, you of course know my brother. This here is my dad and my m-" "Wow, Twilight, you didn't tell me you had a younger sister!" >Twilight rolls her eyes as you kneel down and take her fiercely blushing mother's hoof in your hand before kissing it and winking at her. "Enchanté, ma chère." >The older mare smiles dreamily at you as you stand back up. >"Charmed. Oh and please, just call me Velvet." >"M-Mom." >The purple sperg looks incredibly uncomfortable as she desperately tries to find something else to focus on. >"Twilight, hush." >At dinner Twilight and Shining Armor have their thousand yard stares transfixed on the far wall of the restaraunt >Anon, his mom, and velvet laugh and joke through the night >Twilight nudges Shining's hoof beneath the table >"S-shiny, I..." >'OH FOR FUCKS SAKE, TWILIGHT, REALLY?' >"Sorry, sorry..A princess has needs though." >Velvet quickly shushes the two >"Now, Princess, Anonymous..I've..I can't help but notice the two of you are VERY affectionate with one another." >Anonymous and his mother smile broadly and ask a passing waiter for the check >Velvet doesn't go home that night ======================================================================================================================================= >"You wanna go to the skatepark today, Anon?" >'I can dig it, mom.' >"C-can I come, you guys?" >Mom tips her shades down >"..This is a family outing, Twilight." >You lick moms ears and wrap yourself in her mane >'Yeah, family biz.' ======================================================================================================================================= “Yeah, we got their flag! Cover me auntie while I get it back to base.” >”Consider it done! I will ensure safe passage and escort you back to Moon Base.” >Damn it was fun playing video games with your aunt. >Mom was reluctant at first because she thought they were too violent, but auntie was able to convince her. >’Video games develop hoof eye coordination, and if we turn the subtitles on it will be like he’s reading a book.’ >No wonder she’s your favorite aunt. >… okay, she’s your only aunt but she would still be your favorite regardless. >Besides, you don’t know what your mom was thinking saying these games were ‘violent.’ “Oh shit! I’m taking fire.” >”I see him! HAVE AT THEE!” >Auntie Luna’s character rushes the assailant and preforms an elaborate animated assassination scene. “Oh nice! You stabbed him right in his kidney.” >”Indeed, Let this be a lesson to all who attempt to harm the royal family.” “Auntie, stop teabagging him! There isn’t time for that, we need to get this thing back to base.” >”THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR TEABAGGING! This pleb needs to know their place.” >You chuckle as the two of you get closer and closer to your base. >One more victory in the bag for- >”Prince Anonymous, Princess Luna, there you two are.” >An all too familiar voice calls from the doorway. >Twilight trots in and walks right in front of the screen. >”I have something for you.” “What the fuck Sparkle! I can’t see.” >”YES! Oh wait, did you say ‘want’ or ‘what?’ I’m going to assume you said want.” >You feel your controller shake and vibrate. >”Move your ass Twilight Sparkle!” >”Oh sorry!” >She moves aside and you see both of your characters are dead. >“What’s the matter Anon? Lag or something? Nothing personal, but Cadance just took our flag back.” >Shining Armor’s voice calls out from your headset. “Not cool Shining, your sister just walked in front of the screen.” >”Ha! But seriously, tell her we said hi.” “Your brother says he hates you.” >”Oh, he is such a kidder.” >You turn off the console knowing you won’t be able to continue playing now that she’s here. “So… to what do we owe the… pleasure of your company?” >You say forcing a smile. >”Pleasure of my company.” >She whispers and smiles. >”Twilight Sparkle, why are you here?” >”Huh? Oh right!” >She digs into her saddle bag and pulls out a game. >”I made you a game.” >Wait, what? “You made a game?” >”Uh-huh, here let me show you.” >She magics the game into your console and turns it on. >You see a pixelated version of Twilight. >Guess she made herself the main character. >Can’t say you can blame her, it would be cool to have yourself in a video game. >Oh wow, pixel-light is interacting with your mom in the game. >… and they’re… going to her bedroom… >You look over at your auntie and share a puzzled glance. “Um… Twilight… what kind of game is this?” >”Oh, it’s a slice of life style thing. See? Here is where I’m helping tuck Princess Celestia into bed, and now I’m reading her a story to help her sleep.” “So… you are like a servant to the royal family?” >”No, no, no, this game just follows a sweet, adorable, and lovable pony around as she tries to make those around her happy. Especially the princesses and prince.” >She looks directly at you for that last part. >”And here is where I- I mean the character, helps relieve said prince of his stress. So what do you think?” “Goddamnit Twilight…” >”Can other characters help relieve the prince’s stress? Say for instance, one of the princesses?” “Auntie Luna!” ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Kid Anon >Be in royal toy room, with horse mom >"And what do we have here? Things look out of place." >Celestia picks up one of the many pony figures spread around the floor. >"That ones the blacksmith, he makes all the swords for the knights and guards." >You pick up the toy out of the air and put it back in the forge in the giant toy castle. >It is a big castle as the area is about 4 king sized mattresses. >"And what are all these ponies doing here?" >She points over to the crowd of ponies all hurdled around two ponies, one laying on the ground. >"They are from outside the gates. They came to tell about a dragon attacking." >You pick up the ponies and begin to narrate for them. >"Help. Help. A dragon attacked our crop and field, it's heading this way." >Celestia takes up a toy and narrates too. >"A dragon?! We must tell the princess!" >You pick up the ponies and bring them over to the area you made the throne room. >Celestia follows and sits down watch you play your stories. >"Help princess! A dragon attacked us. It's gonna get us too." >You pick up the princess figure, and begin to narrate. >"A dragon attacking our kingdom, not on my watch." >You then put down the pony figure and run to your toy box. >There you pull out two figures. >One is a giant red dragon, and the other is a doll that looks like you. >You run back over to the others and your mother, who is smiling. >"What's going to happen, are they gonna get the dragon." >You shush her. >"Yea Mommy, we are going to fight the big scary dragon." >You extend the alicorn toys wings and put yourself on her back. >"You can play the dragon, mommy." >You pick up the toy and begin to fly them about the room in circles. >"Now we fly Mommy!" >"So what happens to our heroes, my sunshine?" >"They fight now." >Celesita make sounds for the scary dragon as it whooshes fire onto the team. >And you make beam noises as the magic beams hit the dragon. >"The dragon is so fast, what are they gonna do to stop it?" >With her magic she flies the toy dragon all around the room, letting you chase after her, and then letting you chase after it. >"Now the heroes finish of the dragon!" >You ram the horn of the princess into the dragons chest. >Celestia cries out the sounds of wailing as the dragon falls from the sky. >She drops it onto a piles of pillows. >She then makes a few grunt sounds as the dragons slowly dies. >"The dragon is dead! The kingdom is saved, mommy!" >Celestia picks up a crowd of ponies and begins to make cheering noises for them. >"Hooray! Hooray! The kingdom is saved!" >You drop the toys and go over to your mother. >Thank you mommy! You saved us!" >Celestia places a hoof over you and kisses your forehead. >"You were their too, riding my back the whole time." >You return to the pile of toys on the floor. >"What should happen next, sunshine?" >You run back to your toy box and pull out some more ponies. >"More adventures of Prince Anon! He goes to rescue a princess from bad guys this time." >"Well then, let's play." ======================================================================================================================================= >It was a different era. >From horizon to horizon, all the land the sun and moonlight touched had come to worship and love the sisters as gods, as paltry titles as queen, empress, or ancestors forbid princess became synonymous with insufficient. It was the way of things, how the world spun, there was never a time where the sisters weren't basking in the adoration of those beneath them. >Only a handful remembered the time before time, and even less could tap into those memories. >Sadly, you were among the latter category. Your memory had long been failing you in these recent centuries, every day you forget a little bit more of your long life. You could swear there was a time when Luna had a better sense of fashion and Celestia didn't think horned crowns were the best thing since sliced bread. >You yourself however? Oh it had been the same for a long time. You were a freak, a mutant, a hideous abomination the likes of which had never been seen anywhere else. You were alone in this vast plane called creation, however the sisters reached out to you in the times beyond your memory. They took you in, raised you as their own, made you a glorious instrument of their will. >Through you the sisters easily uprooted opposition to their divine right to rule, and through you terror was sewn amongst those that dared to wonder of a world free of their guiding hooves. >However, for all your accomplishments, for all your favor, beyond the sisters you were hated. You were not a pony, and thus considered a lesser creature, a mere beast in the thrall of the divine sisters. Every waking moment you were bathed in the cleansing flames of prejudice and fear, galvanized in your purpose to spread the glory of the sisters to lands beyond the horizons. >Which brings you to a moment, this moment in particular, the one currently being lived in. One day out of every month you were recalled from the farthest reaches by the sisters, to their black castle mounted upon the highest of spires. >As you approached the magnificent construct of volcanic obsidian, the torches lining the path burst to life with azure flame. They sizzle loudly as the torrential rain bombards them without remorse, yet they violently flicker out when you stray too far from their light. >One by one, your arrival was heralded by the torches, and the almost panicked shouts emerging from the palace's many towers pulled a sneer across your fang-filled maw. As you draw near the end of the bridge, you peer down the black abyss below, feeling rather nostalgic as you spot the shimmering scales of many dragons roosting in the crags of the spire, their scales slickened by the rain. >The heavy, ornate drawbridge slammed against the cobblestone before you, and the thundering skies filled with lightning to illuminate the rest of the way. Once under the protection of the castle, you gave yourself a good shake, freeing most of the unwanted rainwater from your person. >The palace guards flank you, although they take great care to give you a wide berth, old fears still plain on their stoic faces. After all the centuries you would have thought that the anxieties you invited upon the residents of the palace would fade, yet almost every pony you crossed paths with offered only fear, hatred, and a hint of respect. >Silently, you are guided through the magnificent halls of your old home, the walls lined with stained glass portraits, capturing the highlights of the sisters' accomplishments through time immemorial. >You spot a few you don't recognize, ones that lack you and/or the sisters. Instead they portray six ponies. Two pegasi, two unicorns, and two simple earth ponies. Before you can commit your mind to deciphering the details the windows are long gone, and your mind returns to the task at hand. >Without so much as a word you are brought to the great hall. Once upon a time, individuals of high stature, royalty and nobility, would rest here and meet the divine sisters, perhaps even partake in dinner and games. However that era has long passed, and now, it is simply a obnoxiously large dining room for you to catch up with the sisters when you are recalled from the front. >The guards do not follow you in as you stomp into the hall, the sound of your armor clicking and grinding together making your presence known. You can already see the sisters at the equally obnoxiously large dining table that once sat nigh one-hundred, now only home to three. >Celestia visibly brightens when her gaze meets your, "our prince has returned," she says serenely, the acoustics of the hall giving her voice much weight. She rises from her seat, meeting you halfway in her visibly restrained excitement. "My heart rejoices to see you again, my child." "It is always a time for rejoicing when my ears are blessed with your divine voice, dearest mother." >You bow deeply to punctuate your words, closing your eyes and awaiting Celestia's response. You are pleased when you hear a muffled giggle, obviously she still has the same weaknesses. "Dearest Sunshine, how you flatter me," she says with a wave of her hoof. "Come along then, I am sure your auntie yearns to have words." >If you thought Celestia was happy to see you again, Luna was positively radiant with excitement. She could not hide it as well as Celestia, and even then it was easy to read her elder sister. Luna however, was almost squirming in her seat. "It has been too long, my prince," she says, unable to hold back a smile. "I... we have missed you." "As have I, even with the knowledge that you watch me through the sun and the moon, it cannot compare to seeing you both with my own eyes." >"Oh stop it~!" Celestia giggles. "You'll make these old mares blush at this rate, Sunshine." ======================================================================================================================================= Yeah. He's usually on good terms with the m5 to that point. >"Twilight, darling, I just got a thank you note from Prince Anonymous and his mother for tailoring his suit for the gala." >"Wee~ I got one too for catering his birthday!" >"Mah whole family recieved individ-..we all got one, too! Sheeyoot, they LOVE their cider." >"I got one too!" >"What for, Rainbow?" >"Uh...b-being awesome, duh." >"..Yall got cum on yer wings there, awesome dash." >"Oh d-dear..I got one, too. He was very, VERY grateful for my help in teaching him proper Phoenix care." >"..V-very grateful..ooh..such a generous lover.." >"Y-you ALL got some form of 'thanks' from Prince Anonymous?" >"..You didn't, Twilight?" >"I got a restraining order.." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, care to enter the school's raffle?" >'School spirit is for nerds, mom.' >"Aww you don't wanna put your ballot in your auntie's box?" >'W-what?..Jesus, mom, we're at school right now..' >"I didn't say anything inappropriate..just asked if maybe you wanted to put it on in your aunt's box. And then on her desk. Then mine. Then the broom close-" >'WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I'M LATE FOR CLASS, LOVE YOU, BYE.' >"I love flustering my boy~" >"...He-, he's still going to put it in our boxes, yes, sister?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, she's doing it again." >'Twilight, please, you're standing in my flowerbed.' >She starts to unbotton her blouse and presses her tits against the window >"WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME, ANONYMOUS." >'I'm turning on the sprinklers.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Yes..yes, that's good. Squeeze it all out. Mmm, yeah, ooh you've still got some left on the tip..let mommy get that~" >'From now on you're banned from being in the kitchen while I'm baking & frosting cakes, mom.' ======================================================================================================================================= >she could turn into Twilight and they could fuck in front of the real Twi, just to mess with her and show her what she will never have. >"M-Mercy please, my love. It's too much, I can't take another orgasm or else I'll pass out." >Twilight looks on as HER rightful prince charming leans forwards and silences the changeling queen currently disguised as her with a passionate kiss. >"Maybe... Maybe I could take over? I mean perhaps she's right. Fifteen orgasms in ten minutes can't be healthy, Anon. Don't you think?" >Anon breaks the lip-lock with his lover and looks up at the purple pony sitting looking dejected in the corner of the room. "Nah, she's fine. Oh but hey, do me a favour and pass me the lube from the drawer behind you. I feel like going spelunking." ======================================================================================================================================= >Equestria is female dominated >role reversal >"Good evening, Princess Celestia." >'Oh, hello, Ms. De Lis. To what do I owe this pleasure?' >"Madam, I am here to court your son. Fair Prince Anonymous.' >"Date my son?" >Anon peeks out from behind mom hiding his face with a paper fan >"Ooh Ms. De Lis, I do declare~.." ======================================================================================================================================= >”Anon, Sunshine?” “Yeah mom?” >”Is everything alright?” “Yeah, more or less I guess. Why do you ask?” >”Oh, well… it’s just that it’s been a while since you wrote it all.” “Ah jeez, I’m sorry mom. I’ve just been busy is all you know? What with work and stuff like that.” >You scratch the back of your head. >”I understand sweetheart, you’re just far too busy for me.” “What? No.” >”No, no, I get it. My little Ray of Sunshine is too old and busy for me. He has a life of his own that takes up his time. I should have cherished those times we were together more now that he’s gone.” “Okay mom, now you’re just being overly dramatic. But I see your point, I’ll try to write more.” >”And stop by more often?” >You roll your eyes. “Yes, I promise.” >She beams at your words. >”Thank you Sunshine.” >She nuzzles you. >”Now let’s stop by the kitchen for a treat. I think they have a few slices of cake left with our names on them.” ======================================================================================================================================= >"What's that, mom?" >'Oh, it's a letter from Twilight. She's recently elected to go check on her human counterparts in their equivalent of our world.' >"Neat. I was wondering why it was dramatically less autistic around here." >'Oh hush, she even sent along a picture, for you.' >"I'm a big guy.." >'Excuse me?' >"Internet thing, mom. Anyway, let's have a looksee..." >No >How is this possible >Her bipedal counterpart is actually cute >Not just cute >Like, 'tee hee im genuinely innocent and wholesome, see how I'm twirling my hair' cute >"D-DID SHE SEND ANYMORE LIKE THIS?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"What's wrong sunshine? Did you have a bad dream? It's probably because your Auntie Luna keeps going on about Nightmare Night. Why don't you crawl into bed little one. Mommy will protect you. ======================================================================================================================================= >"HA HA, WOULDST THOU CARE TO JOIN US ON THIS MOST EUPHORIC OF NIGHTS, NEPHEW?" >'Auntie, mom isn't laughing WITH you when you wear that hat..' >"B-but sister insisted it was a most regal and enlightened bit of headwear." >'Mom also insists cake is a food group and that neigh-liens built the pyramids, Auntie..' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mommy found your chinese comics, Anonymous-kun~" >'Y-you too..' >"SENPAI, CUM IN MY ASS AND CALL ME OBAMA!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Not a word about your auntie's swimwear, Anonymous, she's still adjusting to this day and age." >'Say no more, mo-, DAMN AUNTIE, YOU SHOWIN ENOUGH ANKLE THERE?' ======================================================================================================================================= >“Sunshine, are you almost ready for the Nightmare Night party?” “I think I’ll pass this year mom.” >“What? But you always loved dressing up.” “When I was like ten, I just think I’m too old for that stuff now- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING!?” >“Oh this? It’s just my Nightmare Night costume. Your Auntie and I were going to throw a more… grown up party this year and were hoping you would join us. But, if you’re too old for it then I understand. I’m sure some nice young stallions would willing to keep us company in your stead.” “Damnit… just hold on, let me see if I can find a costume or something to wear.” >“Oh Sunshine I’m glad you changed your mind. We’ll see you down in the ballroom soon then.” ======================================================================================================================================= >"Y-you'd better let mommy test out your candy, Sweetheart. Can never be too careful." >'Alright mommy.' You hand over your pillowcase full of candy >"Mmm..oh, deliciou-..I mean, no, no poison in THIS one..b-but just to be sure, I'd better keep going.." >"Eww, gross, no....coconut." >She drops the offending candy into a pile with the rest of your candy deemed 'eww' >'Mommy, if you're testing my candy for poison, shouldn't you taste ALL of it?' >"Anonymoush, pleashe, I'm your mother and I only have your besht intereshts at he-, mmm, I fucking LOVE chocolate!" >"HAHA, HOW ARE THE TWO OF YOU FARING ON THIS, OUR MOST HALLOWED-,TIA YOU SAID WE'D SHARE THE CANDY!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, sunshine, mommy has a teeny tiny favor to ask." >'Hmm?' >"Well, um..you see, a neighboring diplomat visited today and he had just the caraaziest idea.." >'I'm curious but cautious, proceed.' >"H-he'd like you to date his daughter as a show of goodwill between our two nations. One date, sunshine." >'Guess I could take one for the team.' >"Ooh I knew my boy wouldn't let me down~" >Just then the palace's begins to shake and tremble >'..Earthquake?' >"Anonymous, hush. That's a rude thing to call her." >'Call who?' >"Your date. Her name is actually BIG MCLARGEHUGE..pfff-ffttt" >With that impromptu introduction, your 'date', whose so big she has her own timezone, waddles through the palace doors >If looks could tongue kiss and smack bottoms, your mom would be pleasantly satisfied about now >but instead you're giving her the most evil shig you can muster >Then it talks >'Hehehe, Gud ebenings Princess. Hey handzum~..' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Moooom...mamaaaa..mom..mom, pick up. I know yo-, Auntie, are you there? C'mooon, pick up, pick up, pick up." >'S-sister, why art thou letting the machine pick it up? Our nephew could be hurt, alone, vulnerable!' >"Shhh, Lulu. He'll never learn to exhibit restraint and mature if we're there to catch him everytime he pours it on like this." >"I-I'm scared, alone and vulnerable, mom, please come g-..no, I don't have any carrots.." >Auntie keeps exchanging panicked glances with mom, whose doing a different activity everytime she looks >"W-what? No, I don't wanna pet you. Mom, Auntie, hurry!" >"He'll be fine" she says assembling a ship inside a jar >"MOM, AUNTIE, F-FILLIES!! FILLIES ARE CHASING ME!" >The machine cuts off >Mom adjusts her newspaper and raises a brow at Auntie >"..See? He's getting his exercise and making friends." ======================================================================================================================================= >"G-give mommy some sugar, sweetheart! She's gonna need it for her spirit bomb!" >You lean in to kiss her cheek >"Wha? NO, I MEANT CAKE! SUGAR!! SUCROSE!" >'S-sister, please, do not make us reference your blood sugar as being 'over 9000'..' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mommy and Auntie were quite the lookers back then, huh sunshine?" >'Y-you still are.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous. Anonymous Jones-Mayweather III, you do NOT eat another cookie, mister, do you under-" >*munch* >"Last warning, young man. I'm going to count to 3.." >*omnomnom* >"2 and a haaalf.." >'NEPHEW, IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH THAT LAST CHEWY CHIPS AHOY, WE SHALL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT YOUR NIGHTS WILL BECOME HELLISH VISIONS LASTING FOR HOURS!' >..... >....*om..nom* >"2 and three quarters.." ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Can I help you? Ms...uh..Cunt Destroyer?" >'W-what? OH STARSWIRL-, s-somepony must've slapped that on me when I wasn't looking.' >"It's all gravy, I do a little cunt destroying myself. Anyway, uh..you're here because?" >'I-I've an appointment with Princess Celestia, we're finalizing my rent agreement on Twilight Sparkles old canterlot study loft.' >"Oh alright. Wait, Purple Sperg's old digs? Oh god, I hope you didn't touch anything before sanitizing the whole place." >'Heh.y-you too, and youre name i-' >"MOM!..MAMA!!!!..mom, door." >'You're Prince Anonymous?!!' >"TA-DA!" You say doing jazz hands >"Anonymous, sweetie, whose there?" >'Cunt Destroyer, mom.' >"Oh, Moondancer?" >You glance back to the creme colored autismo pone who at the moment is sporting some weird blue lines and some comically oversized sweat beads on her forehead >'Moondancer, right?' >"Y-yes." >'Yeah, mom.' >"Anonymous, be a dear and show her to her chambers. Mommy's staring down at an especially troublesome issue right now." >'..It's a cake, isn't it.' >"ANONYMOUS B. WONDERFUL, I DID NOT BUST MY FLANKS RAISING YOU FROM A CHILD TO A GROWN MANCHILD SO YOU COULD BACK SASS ME, YOUNG MAN." >You and spergdancer both recoil a bit >That's when you got a whiff of that sweater >"Now, please show Moondancer to where she'll be staying." >Shaking your head, you snap out of the sweater induced euphoria >'Alright, uh, follow me Cunt De-, shit, Moondancer. Sorry, sorry..' >"..Heh, I don't mind the nickname, it's already kind of grown on me." >Her words just blend together and come out as a sort of comfy ambient droning >Theres that smell again >Jesus it's like a bacon cheeseburger had sex with new shoe smell, fucked a bag of some dank and had an orgy with some homemade chocolate chip cookies and brownies >'UHH, d-do you smell anything, Moondancer?' >"NO." She says fumbling with what looks like a bottle of perfume >'Girl whose using pheremones to score stallions says what?' >"What?- eep.." >Your heads already swimming, the two of you staggering up the stairs to where she'll be staying >'W-whats uh..whassa cute mare like yourself gotta be usin horse roofies for hmm?~' >"Well I-I've never really bee-, ohmygoodnesswhat!" She exclaims as you pick her up >'Easy, Moonie, don't want you putting unnecessary strain on those hoofsies. Mmmm damn, you're soft...bet your butt is all malleable.' >"Ooh~..'p-pliable' would've also been an acceptable answer." >'So, did you reeeeally have an appointment with my mom or did you just want to come and see if I'd hold a staff meeting with you in your oval orifice?' >Her eyes are completely glazed over >"I..I didn't get that reference at all." >'I know you didn't, because you're pure. Pure fucking sex-, SERIOUSLY, THAT SWEATER, YOUR ADORABLE MANE CUT, AND THOSE GLASSES? I THINK YOU MIGHT'VE WENT A LITTLE OVERBOARD ON THE RAPE PERFUME TOO, BABY!' >"J-just as planned." She says >That's when the metal gear '!' appears above you ======================================================================================================================================= >"Isn't this fun, Lulu?" >'IT IS NOTHING OF THE SORT, SISTER! REVERSE THIS DEVILRY AT ONCE AND RESTORE US TO OUR FORMER SELF!' >"Hmmm~ I COULD do that. OR..or, keep you this way so I can have my sunshine all to myself." >'Y-you..YOU MONSTER, FRISBEE!' >"Hi mom, you seen Auntie aro-..oooh whose this little glass of adorable?" >'N-NEPHEW, OH PRAISE BE TO TARTARUS, NEPHEW PLEASE CONVINCE YOUR MOTHER TO-' >"Awww look, mom, she does a great impression of Auntie Luna." >"Y-yes, impression.." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hi sunshine~ Spare some time to cast a ballot for princess of the fall formal?" >'Really not interested in voting for either of your spergtastic protoge's, mom.' >"Oh boo, here I was thinking I could convince you to stick it in your auntie's box." >'Heh, yeah we-..j-jesus mom, we're in school right now!' >"Anonymous, sweetheart, all I implied was that I wanted you to put your ballot in her box. My boy has such a dirty mind.." >'Y-you too, mom.' >"And then in my box. Then on my desk. The janitors closet, pool, art class, the cafeter-" >Anonymous grabs the box from his aunt and empties the ballots down his pants >"Oh sweetie..you always do mommy proud." >"Your outwardly aloof behavior belies a cunning and hedonistic nature, nephew." ======================================================================================================================================= >"..My word, the bit just keeps slipping while the griffonian cent is making great strides." >"Anonymous, not at the table, please." >'It's the only way to get rid of morningwood, mom.' >"You couldn't take care of that in bed?" >'W-..well yeah, I mean I COULD of, but..look at auntie, SHE doesn't mind.' >"A-AIM FOR OUR CEREAL, NEPHEW." ======================================================================================================================================= >A knock at the door distracts you from your dewrito's & cartoons >"READ THE SIGN, NO SOLICITORS." >The knocker persists >"Something something something, this it is and nothing more.." you grumble >"DAVE'S NOT HERE, MAN" >'Oh..s-sorry, I'm actually looking for a Ms. Celestia? Is this the wrong adress?' >Oh >Chances are it's one of her homely smartgirl pet projects >You remembered the very first one, a pushy ginger cunt who mom told you eventually blew this taco stand by jumping through a looking glass to a magic horse land >You'll ask mom if she's been smoking your stash up later on >"Ehh..alright, just a sec." >Please don't be hideous/jehova's witness/mormon >You open the door >get on the floor.exe y/n? >'H-hello, my name is T-...Anonymous, is that you?' >THAT'S TWILIGHT? >Ol' Bookdork Neverlaid? >'Um..hello? Anonymous?..' >"Ffffffff...." >"Sweetheart whose at the door, I hear-, Twilight! Oh how good to see you! Anonymous, don't stand there gawking, invite her in!" >palms are sweaty, knees are weak, moms spaghetti >'I'd like to come inside, Twi-..shit, I MEAN UH..w-won't you please come in?' >Mom smirks >"..Not a 'boobless boring weirdo' now, huh sweetie?" ======================================================================================================================================= "Oh my Twilight, that's very impressive. Your magical powers are developing very nicely." >"Thank you Princess Celestia. Let's see him try to top that since he doesn't have magic." "What was that?" >"Nothing." >She says with a smile. >You feel a small tug on your tail. >You look down and see a shy Anon holding a piece of paper up for you. "And what's this?" >It's a simple drawing of the two of you side by side. >You know it's you two because he included the words 'me' and 'you' with arrows pointing at two of the figures. "Oh my goodness, this is very nice and thoughtful. Thank you so much Sunshine. Twilight, did you see what Anon made?" >"... Oh yeah... I saw..." "I need to put this on the fridge right away. I'll be right back." >You start to walk away but turn just as you're about to leave and can see Twilight taking quietly with Anon so you can't hear them, but you have an idea what they're saying. "That's right... fight for my love." ======================================================================================================================================= >"..I still don't think it's an age appropriate gift for a young boy." >'Nonsense, that's not even the real ONE ring, one of the nazgul guys at the office retired and gave it to me.' >"Still, I don't like how it's made him act as of recent." >Luna enters the room decked out in strange armor >'My master Saur-Anon wishes to know when dinner will be served.' ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia and Anon, together form a costume of Tirek "No, mom." >"But sunshine, you go as that Bat-Master paladin from your world every year! Wouldn't it be nice for us to do something together?" >She was hoping Anon would agree. >By sitting on her neck, add some red and black paint, and some material to cover her head and his legs, they could pull off the portrayal of the wicked Demon-centaur. >And with a quick turn of Celestia's head, she could fit her mouth over Anon's crotch and- "I said NO!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mmm, hey mom, got any fries with that shake?" You say cupping that plush sunbutt with a fleur des lis on it >! >'I'm actually right here, sweetheart.' Mom says just in front of the mare whose flanks your still testing the pliability of >"O-OH MY GO-, I'm-, Ms. De Lis please forgive me, it's just y-you..you kind of looked like my mom from behind." >"Unf..haa~ An honest m-mistake, Prince Anonymous." >Mom smirks >'You sure do like us white girls, hmm?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Shining Armor? W-what're you do-" >'I HAVE to try it for myself, Anonymous, I just have to know if it's really that good.' >"I uh..I don't follow." >He huffs an angry sigh >'..Cadence kept telling me I didn't know what I was missing. So..here I am.' >You run a hand down your face before chuckling a little >'H-hey! It took a lot of courage to ask my wife to perform a gender changing spell on me for the sake of fucking you!' >"Nah that's not it, Shiny, I'm laughing because I'm going to fuck you but not Twilight. Ever." ======================================================================================================================================= “Mommy?” >”Yes my sunshine?” “Do you know that Anty Cady is gonna have a baby?” >”Of course I know sweetie! Remember when they came to the castle? Aunty Cadence and Uncle Shining? We threw them a big party in the ballroom for the announcement.” “But how can she have that? How does anyone have that?” >”Have wha—O-Oh.” “How did she make a baby?” >”…Er…Dear, I know that you’re just being curious, but um…perhaps this is something we’ll discuss when you’re older.” “I’m old!” >”Oh I know you are sweetie, but it’s, um…something that’ll make sense when uh…when you’re even older! N-Now, how about we go to the park and play for a little bit?” “Anty Luna says from a vergina.” >”Vergi—?…She said what, Anonymous? What did she say to you? Repeat what she said.” “…Um…S-She said that—She told me that babies are, uh, are made inside a vergina and then they grow in your tummy and then they come out of your vergina and then you have a baby!…Right?” >”Yes, Anonymous. Go play in your room for a little bit. I need to have a…’talk’ with Aunty Luna.” “…M-Mommy?” >”Yes?” “…Um…D-Did I come from your v—“ >”Go to your room.” And on that day, Princess Luna shattered every window in the castle with screams of absolute agony. An alternate of this... "Mommy, Auntie Luna did you hear? Auntie Cadance is going to have a baby!" >"Why yes she is. That means you'll have another pony to play with soon." "Mommy, where do babies come from?" >"Oh dear, well... Luna help me out here." >"Certainly dear sister. Nephew, babies come from a mare's vagina." >"See, that's where- WAIT WHAT!?" "But how did the pony get there?" >"Well they... uh..." >"They had sex." >"LUNA!" "Mommy, did you have sex and did I come out of your vagina?" >"Well Sunshine... you..." >"No nephew, you were adopted." >"LUNA!" >"What sister? He was bound to figure that out eventually." ======================================================================================================================================= "Mom, I think the threads about to die." >"Well then bump it dear." "I don't want to just bump it. I would want to write something." >"Then why not do that?" "Because it take too long to do that. Green takes time." >"Well then I can't help you then. But I'm sure there'll be something up tonight or tomorrow. Most writers are at or work right now and as you said, green takes time." "Okay mom. I love you." >"I love you too." Call your gaddamn mom and tell her how you feel. She probably misses you right now. ======================================================================================================================================= >"..'Faceless green monkey terrorizes foals on nightmare night, it is suspected he had an accomplice as witnesses describe a dark blue alicorn dripping pasta, ferrying him from each of the scenes'.." >" >"In what authorities believe to be a related incident, Royal guard teams were dispatched to reports of a disturbance outside of one of Canterlot's little known but highly regarded brothels in the early hours of the following morning. Witnesses report a large, green biped accompanied by a tall, slender unicorn or possibly alicorn mare loudly arguing with employees regarding the cost of certain services. Shouts of 'She should have said if she didn't want me finishing inside,' and, 'I thought anal was included in the price,' in addition to, 'she should have told me she was in heat and I'd have pulled out,' were heard by local residents, many of whom were awoken by the altercation..." >Celestia looked up from her newspaper and fixed her gaze upon her sister and beloved son standing rigidly before her. >"Well now, what do you two have to say for yourselves?" >Anon and Luna exchanged a glance. >"Tia, we fail to see the problem." "Why was she even working if she was in heat? That's just asking to get knocked up." >Celestia sighed. >"The problem, my sweet boy, is what happens if you have indeed 'knocked her up' as you so put it?" >Anon shrugged. "Same as happened with all the others?" >Luna nodded. >"Indeed, it's not our nephew's fault that he's quite so... virile. It's a blessing, sister." >Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself. >"The treasury cannot keep paying bribes to keep all these mares silent, and need I remind you that paying for your child support has now become a major drain on the royal budget? My accountants are good... neigh, very good. Yet I'm afraid that even they can't keep hiding the evidence of your activities and writing them off as miscellaneous expenses. The tabloids are getting suspicious about how the public's taxes are being spent. What if they launch an undercover investigation into the matter?" That Anon boy needs Jesus. >"You've really forced my hoof here, sweetheart..I'm afraid I've no choice but to-.." >'Mom, c-c'mon mom, lets uh, not be hasty.' >"Anonymous, theres no way around it this time, I'm afraid, you mus-" >'HEY, DOESN'T CAKE SOUND GOOD RIGHT NOW? MMHMM, SURE COULD GO FOR SOME CAKE.' >"Anonymous. You have to get a job." "What? You said to get a job!" >"Y-Yes, but this isn't quite what I had in mind, darling." "Well if you didn't want me working as a bouncer for the Peeking Rose then why didn't you say so?" >"I don't understand why the brothel would even hire you after you single handedly impregnated almost half their staff, including the madam. How much are they even paying you for this?" "Oh, I don't get paid in money." >"Then what-" "In return for keeping the common rabble away from this high class establishment, in addition to putting the boot to any customers that get a little too rowdy, I get to take my pick of any the girls home after closing time... Also I get a quickie for free on my lunch break." >"I really don't think you should be associating with these kinds of ponies, sweetheart." "What do you mean? They're great! Amber there can swallow a whole banana without chewing and is flexible enough to lick her own-" >"Enough! My sweet, innocent little lamb... what happened to you?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh Anonymous, your scary stories get better every year, right Lulu?" >'..S-sister, our nephew was exaggerating and making tales of the tall when he spoke of skeletons dwelling within us, yes?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous? Art thou finished in the shower yet? We are expected in the dining hall in- Oh! Oh my... Forgive me for barging in, dear nephew, we didn't expect to find you in such a state of undress. I'll... I'll just turn around while you clothe yourself, shall I? So uh... M-My sister didn't tell me quite how much you've grown." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, Twilight ate the last donut." >"Must eat more! Anon will love my sexy curves." >"You. Prodigious Purple one. Your recent increase in mass has thrown our moon from it's usual orbit." >"You're just jealous that soon Anon will find my healthy sized rump irresistible. All my books say that males prefer a mare with wide, foal bearing hips." >"WAH JIBBY WUNGA CHOODA, PRINCE ANONYMOUS." >'What'd it say, Spike?' >"My Master Twalot The Hutt bids you welcome, Prince Anonymous. She asks if you've brought a housewarming gift, preferabbly a truckload of hayburgers." >"Hey Aunty, when d'ya get the new beanbag chair? Oh wait, it's just Twilight. The smell of week old unwashed flab gives it away." >*Heavy, laboured breathing* >"Hi, Anon! I see you've noticed my mareish musk. I- Urrp! Oh, excuse me. I hope you can control your lustful urges while princess Luna's in the room." >*Heavy, laboured breathing intensifies* "Oh god, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Morning, my sunshine! You're not going anywhere today? Maybe we can spend time together, you know just like when you were little. Maybe you can show me how to play with "Playstation". " >you groan loudly in annoyance for two reasons >one because Celestia sure was an annoying mother >especially these past couple of weeks after your birthday >she's gotten really needy and clingy >the second reason is she just asked you to show her how to play "playstation" >that's pretty >seriously that's pretty >but it was summer break and all your friends have gotten jobs and here you are sitting at home playing vidya waiting fruitlessly for responses to the online applications you've sent in >you pause your game and look up at her >her head was tilted slightly to the side and she wore a hopeful smile >goddamnit >that look always got you >you had no real reason to say no >so you answer her in a less than enthused manor "Okay, mom." >she smiles brightly and rushes over to sit next to you on your bed with both hands in her lap looking at the screne "So what game are we going to be playing, Anon?" >you turn your head back to the paused game and answer her after unpausing and getting right back into the fight "Guilty Gear. Let me finish this match and I'll let you play." >"Ohhh, what's Guilty Gear, Nonny?" >you fingers are working double time as you beat the shit out of the cpu >you give her nothing but blunt answers "Its a fighting game." >"Oh." >you tensed up ready to cringe as you waited for her to ask what a fighting game was >but she never asked >she just turned to look at the screen, probably figuring it out herself, and the computer getting rekt >"Nonny, which one's you?" "The one that's winning." >"Ah." >she scoots a little closer to you >"It looks like you're really good at this game." "Eh, its just a computer, mom. AI is kind of predictable and easy to go against." >almost as soon as you said this you beat it and find yourself back at the character select screen >she awkwardly punches your shoulder "Nonsense, Anon. I'm sure you're really good at it with all the practice you get playing it." >you just let out a single chuckle and look over at her "I finished the fight. You ready to learn how to play now?" >she smiles again and claps her hands together before enthusiastically taking the controller from your hand >"Oh, yes, anon." >she holds the controller in her hand looking it up down and all around >thankfully the playstation controller was perfectly designed so there was no question of how she was supposed to hold it >she looks back at you still with her huge smile and big eyes >"So which button does what?" >this was going to be murder >you point to the X button "Okay, this button here is-" >you go through the laborious task of explaining the game's controls to your mother >she isn't dense about it just naive >eventually she thinks she understands it well enough to start actually playing >"Okay, anon. I think I got it. Let's start this thing up so I can kick some booty!" "Hand me the controller and I'll start up a match for you." >she does so and you do so making sure to keep everything at the lowest level possible for her >and the fight starts >it goes down hill very quickly >her attempt at playing Guilty Gear quickly turns into a massacre for her >she seems to have given up on doing anything with intent, almost as soon as the match started she started pushing random buttons attempting to be a high roller >it did not pay off >she was desperately trying to hold back curses of annoyance and anger with only moderate success >"Oh, sh-poop! >"You son of a bit-iiiscuit!" >"Go to hell!" >it wasn't long before she lost the match completely >she huffed puffing her cheeks out in indignation slamming the controller beside her on the bed >she quickly picked it back up and handed it to you >"Again. I want to try again, anon." >you shrug and set up another match >this went on for a couple matches >she had given up holding back her curses after her third match and her mouth was now a stream of fucks, shits, and son of a bitches >after her fifth match you got sick of seeing your mom be such a scrublord that you try to talk her into stopping but she doesn't have it and demand you keep letting her play till she wins at least on >she was determined you'll give her that >so you set up a sixth match >and there was absolutely no improvement to her game >in fact she was worse this time around and somehow your mother was rekt with the computer having taken absolutely no damage >she screamed in anger and stood up to kick the stand that the tv was on however she was barefoot and only hurt herself >"God fucking damnit." >she flops back down on the bed gripping her foot >this earns a hearty laugh from you >she looks at you angrily in response and punches you in the shoulder again "I think you should probably sto-" >she cuts you off >"No! I will not quit! I'll get this eventually." >you shrug again and set up the seventh one >this continued on for hours >countless losses >countless angry outbursts full of swearing >countless punches cause you had lost your sides due to her over the top reactions >she really sucks ass at fighting games >eventually it gets to be about lunch time and she finally throws in the towel (and the controller) >"I just can't do it, Anon." >you move to pat her on the back "Its fine mom. Why were you trying so hard anyway?" >you were genuinely confused why suddenly she was interested in vidya >she outright ignores the question and looks at her phone >"Oh, wow. Look at the time, Anon, 1:45. We should eat lunch." >she pauses for a second >"Say, why don't we go out and grab something? There anywhere you want to eat from?" >you shrug "I don't really care were we go, as long as it isn't, Dominoes." >she rolls her eyes at that >the last time you ate their pizza there was hair all in your pizza, you refused to eat any of their food ever again >"Okay, Anon. We're gonna go to Joe's seafood." >you cock an eyebrow at her "For lunch?" >"Yes, Anon, for lunch. You hungry or not?" >she stands up towering over you with her hands on her hips looking down at you >her loose fitting white shirt and short shorts hanging off of her body >turning your head slightly so you aren't looking at your mother's crotch as she is standing in front of you you shrug and get up >you could go for a bite to eat >as you stand next to her the top of your head only comes up to to the bottom of her breasts because your mother is just that tall >you certainly didn't get any of the height from her genes >she pats you on the head and looks down at you as you are wearing nothing but gym shorts >"Now lets get dressed and head out to eat." >you could of sworn she winked at you >whatever >heading to your closet you slap on black shorts and a green wife beater slipping a green hoodie over that >after putting on your socks and shoes you head into the living room to wait for her to get ready >Celestia stands in front of her closet looking at her collection of clothes >"What should I wear?" >she picks out her clothing and slips into them >you are sitting on the couch waiting for your mother to hurry up getting ready to head on by pissing away time on your phone >you hear her clear her throat and you turn your head up to great her >she's wearing a low cut cropped top and short denim shorts with pink flip flops on her feet >most of her her hair was pulled back in a pony tail >you tried to ignore the curves of her mature body on display because she is your mother but you couldn't help it >her nice sized double D cleavage, her wide baby carrying hips, her stomach that was only slightly pudgy from age and a pregnancy > you had a hot mom >you mentally slap yourself for thinking that and return your attention to her smiling face >she didn't notice anything >"Come on, Anon. Lets head out." >you nod and walk with her out of the house and to the car >the ride to the restaurant was fairly quick >it was pretty close to your house so it was only a fifteen minute ride >you and your mother made the occasional ideal chat >you tried to finally get an answer out of her about why she is so intent on hanging out with you all of a sudden >but again she dodges the question this time with a deliberately vague answer that you could feel was bullshit >"I don't know, Anon. Was just on a whim." >she reaches over to pinch your cheek >"Maybe I wanted to spend time with my little boy." >you groan in annoyance and swat her hand away earning a chuckle from her >"So, how about some tunes?" >even though it was only fifteen minutes it was still boring without music and with just occasional small talk "Sure." >reaching to the radio she switches it on and surfs through the channels until she hits a station playing Bohemian Rhapsody and stops >"Oh! I love this song!" >she starts singing along with Freddie Mercury >she notices you not singing along and punches you on the shoulder again >"Come on, Anon. You have to sing along with Bohemian when someone else is." >she is right, you have to >is almost a natural law >so you join in at "Too late, my time has come" >at first just monotone saying the lyrics cause you weren't that into the idea of singing with your mother but seeing how much she is into it rocking her head sending her long rainbow sherbet hair into a flurry and how she beat on the steering wheel in time with the music you got more enthusiastic >eventually you both were singing along as loud as you could and Celestia turned the radio up to max >she reaches over with an arm and, driving one handed puts it over your shoulders pulling you closer >you didn't mind being too into singing along with Celestia >as the song ends she moves her arm from your shoulders to turn the radio back down to acceptable levels >both of you had huge smiles plastered on your faces >tfw you will never sing bohemian with Momlestia in a car >"That was fun, Anon!" >Celestia was smiling widely and pat your lap once with her hand "Heh, yeah." >you consider patting her back but decide against it given your indecent feelings earlier >"Oh, we're here! That was certainly a fast drive, wasn't it, Anon?" "Uh, yeah." >both of you get out of the car and walk toward the entrance of the fish camp >you try to keep your distance from your mother to keep from looking at her in a lewd manor again but she isn't having it and closes any gap between you which makes it difficult to not steal glances at your mother's hot mature body that she is't hiding >with each glance you take you mentally slap and chastise yourself because she is your mother >you try to focus on how annoying she is to try to fight but it doesn't help much >while walking next to your amazonian sized mother you comparatively look like a midget or child >she is so tall that she has to duck to get through the doors of the fish camp >you half wish you weren't looking cause as she bent over to get through you got a nice view of her perfect ass that looked like it makes her shorts scream in agony having to contain it all >the waitress standing near the doors was some girl you went to school with, you didn't remember her name but she had mint green skin and had a noticeable look of intimidation on her face seeing her principal >your mother addresses her before she speaks >"Table for two please." >she quickly gathers herself >"Right this way." >she leads you to a small two person table in the middle of the restaurant handing you one page laminated menus once you sit >"What will you have to drink?" >both you and your mother answer with sweet tea and she goes off to get it >looking up from her menu at you and putting it back down on the table >Celly leans forward and asks >"What are you going get, Anon?" "I don't know yet." >you answer bluntly and not look up once from your menu cause if you do you will be looking straight into her cleavage >that's the last thing you want to do right now >seeing nothing else on the simplistic white menu that interested you >you'll just go with what you always get from these types of places, the calabash chicken "A large calabash chicken." >"You always get that anon, you're kind of boring eating the same food all the time." "Well, what are you getting then, miss originality?" >"Well, I'm getting the large Oyster Stew." >you scrunch your face up at that, oyster stew is fuckin nasty >before you say anything your waitress shows up with your drinks >"Here you go. Are you ready to place your orders?" >celestia is the one to answer her >"Yes, we are. I'm having a large oyster stew and-" >she points at you >"He'll have a large calabash chicken." >she writes this down on her pad and nods heading off to give it to the cook >"Huh, she forgot to take our menus. Hand me yours, Anon. I'll just put it on the table behind me." "Okay." >you hand her the menu and she turns and puts it on the table behind her >you both sit there in quiet for a while occasionally sipping your drinks and tapping on the table with your fingers >it was kind of awkward >she spoke up first >"So, how are you doing, Anon? I mean with your life and what you are doing with it." >that was an odd question but whatever it was awkward without any conversation "I'm doing fine, Mom. I can't complain. Kind of wish I had a job. What about you?" >"Oh, I am good." >she thinks for a second and a look of worry crosses her face for a second before she forces it away with a smile >"What makes you so intent on getting a job, anon?" "I just want the money to be able to buy the shit I want. Isn't it obvious? What else would I want a job for?" >she looks to the side >"well I tho- >the waitress walks up carrying the food on a large platter >"Got your food here careful its hot." >she places celestia's oyster stew and your chicken in front of you >"Is there anything else you need?" "Uh, yeah. Can I get some hotsauce?" >"Sure. Anything for you miss?" >Celestia answers her >"No, I'm good." >"Okay, I'll be right back with your hotsauce." ded ======================================================================================================================================= >You will never have your hot mom and aunt take advantage of having a winter break from school and decide to take you on vacation with them. >You will never go to an exotic resort with them or help them pick out new swimsuits to wear. >You will never check into your resort room only to discover it is a king whirlpool suite by mistake. >You will never laugh about it before trying to change rooms only to discover there are no other rooms or roll away beds available. >You will never sleep sandwiched between your mother and aunt as they both hold onto you and use you like a body pillow. Why even live? >You are Anon. >And you are out shopping with your mom and aunt. >Your exact location is outside the changing rooms. >Or wait, are they called dressing rooms? >Fuck it, the point is you're here waiting for them to come out and model their potential swimsuits and to give your opinions on them. >Side mission, try not to look like a perv waiting right outside the women's dressing room. >Based on the looks you're get to from different women, you assume you're failing that mission. >"Okay Sunshine, how about this one?" >She calls from behind the closed door. "Looks great, can we please leave?" >She laughs in response. >"Oh honey, you haven't even seen it yet." >She says while opening the door to reveal her latest choice. >It's a multi colored bikini that honestly looks a size or two too small for her figure. >That was the problem with clothes shopping with her. >It was always hard to find things that fit her properly, even harder now that swimsuits are out of season. >"Well, what do you think?" >You notice the top is so small and tight that there is considerable under boob showing and she is almost spilling out of the top and sides. >All in all, the top is nust there to cover her nipples and one wrong move, or any move actually, threatens to expose herself. >On anyone else this would be a drop dead sexy choice, but this is your mom. >You notice all the men and more tjan a few women near the changing rooms looking at her. "I, I think it's a little small mom." >She let's out a disapointed sigh and tugs on the bikini top straps. >"Yeah, I thought it might be but I hoped it would fit. Just as well though, the bottom is kind of riding up on this style. Guess we'll have to keep trying more." >She says and turns around and tries to pull the bottoms from riding up further on her before closing the door. >You feel your face grow warm at seeing her. >Goddamnit mom... >Every year they do this. >Every winter break they plan out a vacation for the three of you to some exotic resort. >That you’re not complaining about though. >After all, a free all-expense paid vacation is always great. >But it’s the shopping with them that kills you. >Because they ‘need’ new swimsuits. >Because the ones they got for summer vacation certainly are no longer good. >But you indulge them because you love them and this is one of the only chances they take to get away. >They both pride themselves on their attendance, and they don’t take any unnecessary time off at all. >”Anonymous, are you there?” “Yeah, Aunt Luna. I’m here.” >She steps out of the changing booth and showcases her choice in swimwear. >Her choice is almost the exact opposite of your mother’s. >The best way you could describe it in one word is… frumpy. >It was a two piece but not the good kind. >It had granny panty like bottoms and a top that covered her stomach with row after row of pink and black polka dot patterns and it covers everything. >You’re not even sure she grabbed the correct top and bottom set. >Pokerface it Anon, pokerface. >”You don’t like it do you?” >Shit, you forgot you suck at cards. “Um… well… it’s….” >You say while motioning with your hands trying to kill time. “You know I love you right?” >She just stands there looking at you with her hands on her hips and a raised eyebrow. >”Will I most likely regret what you would tell me?” “Probably.” >”So this is a no then?” “A definite no.” >”Very well then. Onto the next in the pile!” >She announces as she walks back into the booth. >You massage your forehead with your hand. >Are you almost done with this yet? >”Anon? Can you come here a second?” >Guess not. “What’s up mom?” >You stand outside the door wondering what exactly she wants. >”I got one of those tie tops and I can’t reach it to tie it. Can you help me?” >She asks and opens the door just a crack for you. >”Just come on in and tie up the back for me please.” >Son of a bitch. “I, uh, I don’t think I should do that. I mean it’s the women’s changing room and all.” >”Oh nonsense, it’ll be fine. Now come on.” >You give up and decide to just get this over with as quickly as possible. >You gently open the door further while looking from side to side to make sure no one is looking. >With the coast clear, you quickly go in and close the door behind you out of habit. >You look and see her long hair against her bare back greeting you while the reflection of her holding the top against her chest is shown in the mirror. >”It’s one where you tie it around the neck and across the back sweetie.” >She smiles at you in the reflection >You gingerly take her hair and place it over one of her shoulders, exposing her bare back. >You try to grab the strings of the neck piece without touching her skin. >Because, you know, she’s your mom. >You fail miserably and feel her silky smooth skin against your fingers. >This causes her to shiver against your touch and you to blush. >It’s got to be from embarrassment. >R-right? >You just tie a simple shoelace knot around her neck and tug on it to make sure it isn’t going anywhere before moving onto the second set of strings. >You notice the straps are hanging around her sides. >You stand right behind her and pull them tight before starting to tie them in a similar fashion as you did the neck knot. >Once you’re done, she turns around and lets you see the top. >It’s a white bikini top with red, yellow and blue beads across it. >At least this one is more her size and covers more of her. >She pulls on the cords and does a few little jumps to test the top. >It’s not like you wanted to see her breasts bounce up and down like that, but they were right there in your face. >You just hope the knots you did hold, or else you’ll literally get an eyeful. >Luckily they hold. >You are about to leave when she grabs your arm. >”You know, I don’t think I did the bottoms that well. Could you tie them off too like you did the top?” >The hell is she talking about? >You look down and see the matching bottom kinda drooping and sagging because they are coming untied. >If she took a step or two they would be on the floor. >You feel your face go red again. >You start to fumble with the strings and eventually manage to get your shaking under control so you can tie it off. >She shuffles and turns so you can do the other side as well. >You quickly tie it off so you can just get out of here. >You give a quick tug to each side and are satisfied with your work so you turn to leave. >You walk out of the booth just as an employee walks by. >…fuck >”Excuse me sir? What were you doing in the women’s changing booth?” >And she probably thinks you’re a perv… that’s just great. >Anyway this could get worse? >”Anon? Is that you?” >And shit got worse, she goes to school with you. >”Oh it’s alright. He’s my son and I just wanted him to help tie off this bikini for me. I just couldn’t reach the back is all you see.” >Your mom says while exiting the booth as well. >Well this just got worse again! >”P-principal Celestia?” >The worker looks wide eyed at her and then back to you. >”Oh hello Miss Dash, are you enjoying your winter break thus far?” >Mother Fucker! >What deity did you piss of that made this your life? >So your mother and aunt have picked out their two favorite swimsuits. >So that means you and go home right? >”Alright honey, now let’s find you some swim trunks.” >What? >Shit, there’s gotta be some way out of this. “But, I already have some from last time. So I’m good.” >Nice save Anon. >”Were those the same ones you wore during the summer that you complained were too tight?” >Really Aunt Luna? >You’re going to turn on me too? >”I believe you said, ‘these things are so tight, you can tell my religion.’ And ‘it looks like I’m smuggling sausage in these.’ Or of course ‘I feel like I’m about to hulk the fuck out and rip these things to shreds and second.’ Among others of course.” >Damnit Aunt Luna, why do you have to make points like that. >”Plus I think you got a growth spurt too sunshine.” >Mom says while walking up to you and putting a hand on the top of your head and then moving it against her to show you how tall you are. >It is pretty much right at her breast level. >”Who knows maybe you’ll be taller than me one day.” >Yeah, right. >You’re not an amazon. >”Now on to the boy’s section.” >Aunt Luna smiles at you. >”I think you mean young men’s section Luna.” >So this is your life. >You’re standing in the young men’s changing room, not the boy’s changing room thank you very much, and you’re trying on the swimsuits your mom and aunt picked out for you. “’But sunshine, we need you to match what we got ourselves.’ Yeah right.” >You say mockingly. >”Everything alright in there honey?” >Everything is not alright and you would rather pick out your own clothes like a man… or a young man as the case may be. >…You say in your head. “Yeah, I’m fine.” >Way to puss out Anon. >”Well hurry up then. We want to see how you look.” >You open the door and show them your board shorts they picked out for you. >Truth be told they weren’t that bad. >Maybe you can just get these and then you all can leave. >Aunt Luna holds her chin and seems to be deep in thought. >”Are those a little too big?” “What? No. Swimsuits like these are supposed to go to about your knees.” >”No, I mean around your waist.” >You look down and see what she means. >Yeah it’s a little baggy, but you needed this size to go over your boxers. >Not like you’ll be trying swim trunks on in the nude at the store. >Who knows who else has tried this on before you? “I think its fine. I mean yeah, I have a little room to grow but I think it’ll work.” >”I am still not sure, perhaps we should find you a size smaller.” “It’s fine.” >”Only one way to tell for sure.” >Mom says and quickly kneels down in front of you and grabs your trunks below the waist. >Before you can cam come up with a witty reference for something fast, she gives them a firm pull and down they come. >As do your boxers she grabbed through your trunks as well. >Luckily you got your hands down fast enough to cover yourself before President Roosevelt got exposed. >Also, on a side note, you’ve been trying out naming your penis. >You don’t think you’re very good at it. >”Oops! Sorry honey.” >She says with a fluster. “MOM WHAT THE FUCK!” >”I’m sorry, but you complain about them coming off when you try to get out of the pool. So I was trying to recreate that.” >Goddamnit! >Anything else want to go wrong right now? >At that moment, the worker from before pokes her head into the changing room area. >”Um, excuse me. Could you please watch the language? This is a family store and one of the other customers was compl-“ >Dash stops midsentence at seeing you. >Your Aunt is standing there with her arms crossed, your mom is kneeling in front of you with her hands still holding onto your trunks, and you are standing there with both hands over your dick trying to cover up. >”P-principal Celestia?” >”It is alright Miss Dash. You see my sister was merely trying to be water.” >Oh goddamnit, what the fuck Aunt Luna! ======================================================================================================================================= >Mom will never wake you up and tell you that you were accepted into university >Mom will never frantically help you pack and make sure you've got everything 100 times over >she'll never tearfully wave goodbye >She'll never get suspicious of that one chick you brought home for Spring Break >Mom will never try to compete with her and sit on your lap whenever you two are in a room together, staring the young girl down >She'll never interrupt you two when you were about to get freaky >She'll never have comfort sex with you to cheer you up after your girlfriend leaves early because 'something came up.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-thanks Cadence, I love the knife set." >"Oh Luna, a new nightgown..y-you shouldn't have." >Oh well, atleast I get cake..but where's Anonymous? >Suddenly mom's heart attack inducing, 10 different kinds of chocolate, 6ft tall cake has an eruption of sorts >It's Anonymous, in a sexy cop outfit >'Evening, young lady..you got a permit for those hips?' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hiya 'Non! Watcha doin?" >Celly had been asking you this for a few minutes now "Nothing. Just being interrupted by a little filly who should be in her room, not studying may I add." >She tries to hide her giggling, raising a hoof to cover her mouth >It fails miserably, >God damn she's cute >"Hey 'Non! Wanna hear a joke?" "Sure. Whatcha got for me Sunny-side?" >She pauses, trying to compose herself. >"Okay, ready? Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana. Get it?" >Holy shit that's terrible >You manage to let out a forced chuckle. "Heh, nice one. Say, how about you get some drinks and enjoy the weather with me for a bit? It's not like you're busy with your tutors or anything, right?" >She lets an excited grin appear on her face before dashing back into the entrance that connected the garden with the rest of the castle >For the rest of the day you spent the day hearing jokes from the little princess and sipping lemonade in the warm summer air before taking a tired out Celly back to her chambers >As she gets tucked into bed, she lets out a loud yawn >"Night night 'Nonny..." "Sweet dreams Princess." >And with that you tuck her into bed, plant a kiss on her forehead before turning off the lights and closing the door. ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Anon, and you just woke up from a super scary dream. >It had skeletons in it, and then they tried to reach for you and… >You bury your face into your stuffed animal. >You don’t want to think about it anymore. >It’s getting harder to remember the nightmare, but you know you’re still scared. >You look down at your floor from your bed. >You want to get down but are scared there’s a monster under your bed. “What’s that Mr. Bear?” >You bring your bear to your ear and listen to him. “You said you would go first? Are you sure?” >You make him nod, and give him a big hug. “I love you Mr. Bear.” >You start to lower him by the ear till he falls onto the ground. “Is it safe?” >You look down and see him down there, and nothing is getting him. >You carefully put a foot down and then then other. >You pick him up and hug him close again and start to leave your room. >The house looks so different at night. >It’s scary. >You hug Mr. Bear tighter. >Just a little farther till you get to Mommy’s room. >Then everything will be all better. >You get to her door and see it’s almost closed but still open a little. >You push the door open and poke your head in. >You see Mommy in bed and she’s snoring. >She doesn’t believe you when you said she snores. >Opening the door more you walk inside and stand next to her bed. >It’s just her, but her bed is so much bigger than yours. >But Mommy is bigger than you so it makes sense. “Mommy.” >You whisper. >She still lays there and snores. “Mommy?” >You whisper a little louder. >She starts to move more and moans a little. “Mommy.” >You say and start to nudge her with your hand. >She wakes up and gasps. >”Hmm? Wazzat… sweetie?” >She says and rubs her eyes looking at you. >She looks at her clock and then back to you. >”Sunshine, it’s the middle of the night. Is everything okay?” >You hold your stuffed animal to your chest and shake your head no. >”Oh honey, did you have a nightmare again?” >You nod your head in response. >”Oh honey…” >She sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed so she’s looking at you. >She puts her hand on your arm and starts to rub it. >”Would you like to sleep with mommy tonight?” “Mm-hmm.” >You nod. >”Alright.” >She gets up and stands next to you. >”Let’s take you potty and then get you something to drink first, okay?” >She says and takes your hand. >You walk down the hall with her as she leads you to the bathroom. >Mommy can see so much better in the dark than you can. >Mommy’s good at everything. >She leads you into the bathroom and takes you to the potty. >”Can you do it yourself or would you like my help?” “I can do it.” >You try to take down your pajama pants but can’t because you’re still holding your bear. >You hold him out to her. “Can you please hold Mr. Bear while I go?” >She smiles and takes him. >You take your pants and undies down and go potty. >Mommy takes you to the sink when you’re done and picks you up by the armpits to help you wash your hands. >She then puts you down and gives you a glass of water. >You don’t finish all of it and hand it back to her. >”Done?” “Uh-huh.” >She takes it from you and finishes the rest of your water. >She then hands you back your bear and takes your hand again. >She leads you back into her room and you crawl into bed. >She gets in after you and you cuddle up under her covers. >Mommy always had nice feeling sheets and pajamas. >They were real smooth and you like how they felt. >Her bed is also so soft and fluffy. >”Do you want to talk about your nightmare honey?” “There was a skeleton, and he was after something… and… I think he wanted to eat something.” >She brushes your hair with her hand. >”Well it’s okay now. It’s not going to get you, there’s nothing to worry about.” >You move closer to her and face her. >She keeps brushing your hair with her hand and starts to hum the sunshine song she always sings you. >You feel your eyes get heavy and you are starting to get really really tired. >You close your eyes and relax. >”Goodnight my little prince.” “Night-night Mommy… I love you…” >You say with a yawn. >”I love you to sunshine. Sweet dreams.” ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Prince Anonymous. >You look out the window and see a big lizard thing walking around shrieking and breathing fire randomly. "Hey mom?" >"Yes sunshine?" "Did Twilight's dragon grow big again?" >"Not that I know of. Why do you- oh my. I should probably summon the Wonderbolts." "Mom, that's a monster not a kid's air show. Just have the elements take care of it." >"Are you sure? It seems like I'm always asking them to help or handle something. Maybe I should go myself." "Don't be ridiculous. You are the Princess of Equestria and you raise the sun. What if something happened to you? What would we do without you?" >"Well... I suppose so. I'll send a letter to Twilight now." >That will show Twilight for spilling your chocolate milk when you were younger. >You are Prince Anonymous, and you hold a grudge. ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia has been training Twilight all this time to become a princess only so she would be what she finds acceptable for her son Anon. >Anon doesn't want to marry purple horse who smells of hay burgers and shame. >Anon already has a love interest but is too afraid to tell Mom because she always scares them away. Or if you just want it to be sexy. >Auntie Luna has been Anon's secret marefriend for years.. since she's always been into /SS/ ======================================================================================================================================= >Prince Anon goes back in time with Twilight to fix some shit. >The whole trip, Anon doesn't believe that they really are back in time because reasons. >Anon ditches Twilight to do whatever and ends up meeting a teenage Celestia. >He has no idea that's his future mom and thinks she's hot. >They bang. >Anon is his own dad. >Anon doesn't realize shit until the adventure is over until he is laying down with Mom and she says something like. >"You remind me so much of your father... you even smell like him too." ======================================================================================================================================= >"For the final time, Anonymous, no! You're my nephew and it's wildly inappropriate for you to even consider-" "Aww come on, it's not like I'd tell anybody. Besides, I broke up with my girlfriend and I'm feeling really down in the dumps." >"Ugh... fine, but this will NOT become a regular occurrence, so don't get used to it." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mmmmgood evening, nephew. I trust you're finding this evening simply euphoric?" >'Did my mom tell you wearing that was a good idea, Auntie.' >"Indeed she did, dear Anonymous, our sister hath pointed out only the truly enlightened don this particular headwear." >Anonymous sighs >'Auntie, she's pranking you. Only retards wear those hats.' >"N-no, she insisted it wa-" >'Mom also insists that cake is a food group and neigh-liens built the crystal empire.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, I've set you up on a date. You spend far too much time indoors." >'Mom pls.' >"No, none of that '>implying' nonsense is going to work now, sweetheart, this is for your own good. Plus, she's a nice mare..l-lot of personality." >'..I don't like the sound of that last part, mom.' >"Anonymous please, she's the daughter of an important diplomat, BEST behavior, young man." >The palace's foundation begins to shake and rumble >"Oh, must be here already." >A fanfare of foreign dignitaries and guards flood the palace foyer >"ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF HER HIGHNESS, PRINCESS TUMBLRINA HAMPLANET!" >'Oh jesus, oh jesus, no, no, GOD NO.' >"HEHEH, DERE U ARE LUVERBOI, WEN WE MEG DA SMOOCHIS & SEGS? :DD" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Absolutely NOT! I will not let my young son run rampant on a battlefield!" >'Oh you're overreacting, hell, lots of other guys bring their kids to the office all the time. Besides, I happen to consider myself an extreeemely attentive and-, HEY NON', BUD? DON'T PUT THAT RING ON, OK?' >"...If so much as a FOLLICE of a follicle of hair is disturbed. Oooh you're going to wish you'd stayed a giant fiery eye." >Anon's dad stands there sweating staring down his better half >'O-ofcourse dear. HEY, CHAMP? C'MON LET'S SKIDADDLE.' >"Bye mom! I'll bring you back a head!" ======================================================================================================================================= >be anon >your mother has the day off today, and because you're a student at the same place she works at, so do you. >you're fucking around playing Evolve, tearing shit up with hit and run tactics as the Kraken when your mom comes in. >"Morning, my sunshine! You're not going anywhere today? Maybe we can spend time together, you know just like when you were little. Maybe you can show me how to play with "Playstation"?" >you're dying of boredom, and since your wifi service hasn't been working, you haven't been able to play anything online >but you could really go for a few rounds in battlefront >fuck it, what could go wrong. "Yeah, sure mom, why not?" >"really? I know most teenagers would rather die than spend time with their mother." "Well, fuck those guys. Come on in, make yourself at home." >"...but I am at home anon." >thatsthejoke.jpg >Celestia walks over and slumps down on the edge of your bed next to you and you hand her a controller >"so what game are we playing nonny?" "Star wars." You reply quickly. >"oooh..! So we're going to fight with the power of the force, and destroy the evil Empire?" >shes almost childish, and exceptionally energetic today "Yeah... Something like that, but not as intense I suppose." >you boot up the game and progress through the menus "Do you want to play on my team, or against me?" >"well I'm a little nervous anon, I don't know the controls... Let's play together for a while. And then we can play against eachother and I can kick your BUTT!" >with a light chuckle you start up a round of survival, setting the difficulty to easy. >she fumbles with the controls for a while, spinning in circles and staring at the ground. "Mom, just try walking first, don't try and look around. Then try looking around without walking. You'll get the hang of it eventually." >she does, and after a few minutes of her wandering and looking around aimlessly, she gets the hang of it. >"Anon, look! I'm walking!" >oh the irony >"okay, now press *this* button to shoot." >she has progressed from walking around aimlessly to walking around and shooting things aimlessly. Progress. "okay, now shoot the storm troopers, I'll kill anything really dangerous." >dear god her aim is terrible, lasers everywhere. She's improving rather fast however. >she begins to start playing at a pretty decent skill level, she's learning fast. "This round is almost over, and you seem like you've got the controls down for the most part, next round let's play against eachother with bots." >"what are bots anon? Like androids and stuff?" "No. Well, kinda. I don't know, you'll see." >she's smiling beside you, she's really having fun. >near the end of the last wave, the only enemy left is a TiE fighter >moms avatar pulls out an ion rocket launcher and blasts it out of the sky >she's absolutely beaming with pride >"did you see that nonny? Look at all the pieces!" >Jesus, she's a fast learner. "I did, you're doing really good mom. I'm impressed." >she's so happy. Strange something so simple fills her with this much joy. "Hey mom, why did you want to spend time with me? Not that there's anything wrong with it. Just seems a little random." >she shifts a little, and looks down at her knees. >"I just missed spending time with you anon. When you were younger and you used to call me "mommy" and always wanted to do things with me. I just miss being so close to you is all." >school has kept you rather busy, and since making friends, you started spending time with them instead. You never really though about how your mother felt about it. "I've just been busy with school and friends..." >"and girls..." >that caught you a little offguard. A slight warmth spreads across your face. "And girls, yes. Although I've never been serious with them, they're always doing their own thing and never seem invested." >"that's because they're still in highschool anon." "I know, I just wish I could have a regular relationship with someone who cares about me." >"I'm always here for you Anon, and any time you need someone to talk to or just to love on ya, I'm here." >your mom leans in for a hug, and you return it. >the hug lasts a bit longer than you feel is necessary and you begin feeling uncomfortable >you love your mom, but it's hard not to notice how well endowed she is, and how good she looks for her age. >you gently push on her shoulders to signal the end of the hug >she pulls back and looks at you with a slighter smile >"I love you anon, you're an exceptional son, and your father would be proud of the fine young man you've become." >a strong emotion turns in you for a moment, and then it's gone. "I love you too mom. I've had a pretty great role model, even if it is a little embarrassing to admit." >"aww, that's my little nonny." "Okay, that's enough mushiness for now. Do you want to play as the empire or the rebels?" >"Rebels, can I be Princess Leia?" "In the other game mode... Let's play this one first." >Celestia picks the rebels, and plays a default load out, and you take the DL-44 and scout load out. >after several rounds she actually manages to kill you several times, until progressively she becomes better than you. >only a little mad "Can you PLEASE stop using the grenade launcher?" >"why would I do that?" She replies, smirking. >you reply by glaring at her, causing her to giggle at your show of frustration. >"are you mad anon?" >after many rounds of Star Wars, and your mother officially whooping your ass, she gives a long stretch and one of those weird stretch-moans as she stands up >you kind of don't want her to go, it's been nice spending time with her >"I've got to go make dinner, what would you like Anon?" >kind of in the mood for fast food >taco smell, mcdiabetes, Chinese food maybe? "Could we just order something? I was thinking Chinese food." >"well, I guess so, I don't see why not." >you take out your phone and dial the number of the Chinese food place down the way, place an order, and hangup. >your mother standing there a little awkwardly, with a hand on the door. >"alright, I'll let you go about doing your own thing. Thank you for spending time with me, it means more than you'd think." She says, with a tone of light sadness. >she begins to turn the handle of your door >think fast anon! "Hey mom... Remember when I was younger and used to hold your hand, and we'd do everything together? Well remember how we used to go on "dates" where we would watch movies, and eat popcorn and stuff?" >she begins to smile, remembering when you were younger >"yes, we used to be so close. I miss it. What can be done, you're not a child anymore, you're free to do as you please." "How about we go on one of those "dates" tonight? We could watch a movie and spend time together like we used to." >always that smile, bright enough to light up the darkest of days >"I'd like that very much Anon." >Celestia shuts the door and returns to your bed, and plops down next to you, bouncing for a second before asking >"so what movie are we gonna watch nonny?" >no internet >fuck "Well, I'm sure I've got something in here somewhere..." >you get up and look through your DVD spindle for anything decent >Off the top, Holes, the hunger games, first three seasons of boondocks, and... Finding Nemo. >note to self, download more movies when the wifi is fixed "Have you seen the hunger games yet?" >"actually, no. I was going to read the book, but I was always coming up with a reason to do other things." "Hunger Games it is." >you turn out the lights and sit up against the wall as the movie begins, your mother putting her arm under yours, and snuggling into your chest >this was cute when you were ten, now it just makes you nervous. >boring movie is boring, you've seen it three times >suddenly the doorbell rings >"nonny, foods here." "I'll get it, just gimme a sec." >your mom lets go of your arm and as you get up, you can see her frown out of the corner of your eye >answering the door, you see the delivery boy holding out your food >dear god, he's an abomination >thin with wiry straight hair that looks like it's never been washed before >acne all over his face, blank stare >is that a tattoo of... A snail? Why does he have a snail tattoo on the back of his hand >hiding your disgust, you pay him take the food and close the door to deprecate yourself from the monster >bringing the food back into your room, your mother has taken the liberty of taking off her overshirt >oh god that body >she's only wearing a skirt, a bra and a tanktop now. >focus "H-here's the food mom." >she always talks about her age, and how she "doesn't look like she used to" but looking at her now... What the hell is she talking about? >you take your box of rice and orange chicken and settle in next to her while she eats her noodles >you look over and see her sucking the noodles into her mouth, dripping soy sauce on herself as she does >god have mercy, I'm only a man >in your stupor of resistance you say "I have some tissues if you need them" >and reach under your bed to retrieve a box of tissues. >... >wait. >you just pulled out a box of tissues from under your bed. >oniichan.wav "Uh, I, those aren't..." >"thanks anon." >she takes a tissue and wipes her mouth, and then proceeds to wipe the soy sauce from her cleavage >what the fuck is happening >did she just not think about it? Whatever, she didn't notice I guess. >after your mother finishes her noodles and you finish your orange chicken, she rests her head up against your shoulder >you can see down her tanktop >oh god, they're perfect. >take a deep breath, that's your mom >your strong anon, you can do this >sit through another half hour of the movie without looking down her tanktop >"hey nonny... It's getting late. Do you want to pause the movie and continue tomorrow?" >despite how hard you have to fight your hormones, you're really enjoying spending time with her "Well, there's only a bit left, we can finish it." >she yawns, then replies "but I'm getting tired nonny, and I don't want to fall asleep on your bed, where would you sleep?" >my minds telling me no >but my body, my body is telling me... "Well, back when I was younger, we used to take naps together and snuggle." >"but anon that's..." "You're my mom. It's not like that. You don't have to if you dont want to, it's just a suggestion... I just remembered what it felt like to be with someone who cares about me. And I don't want it to end yet..." >she looks a little troubled at first, but then she smiles and gives your arm a squeeze >"I'm glad nonny, I've missed spending time with someone who cares about me too. Just once couldn't hurt." >oh shit nigger >what have you done >the self control games begin now >the movie is about at the end >something about berries >you've been holding your mom close, and she's been holding you as well >you forgot how nice it is to feel a mothers love >unconditional and all enveloping >all enveloping >like her breasts on your side >sweatingman.png >you look over at her and notice her eyes are almost entirely closed >she tryed so hard to make you happy today, she really does love you >you smile at the thought >and then you hear the credits playing >you don't want to wake her up but... "Hey mom..." >You whisper. "Mom, lie down, you're neck is going to hurt tomorrow if you sleep on my shoulder..." >"oh... Okay nonny." She says, groggy and rubbing her eyes. >she lays down on the bed, facing away from the wall >you turn off your tv with your phone, and check your ponyville before bed. >you look over for a place to sleep, and realize >there's no room in front of her >you have to sleep behind her >internally you summon all the will power you have >gentlemanly thoughts and fedoras tipping pass through your mind as you repeat "I am a gentleman" in your head >totally ready to ignore any hormonal thoughts you may have, you lay down behind her and face away. >take that, fate >you fall asleep without incident >and dream of sheep, then a castle, then of ponies >unluckily for you, ponies turn you on >in your dream your cuddling behind a pony, arms around her with your girth between her legs >it feels wet >wait a tick, you aren't supposed to feel texture in dreams. >something's wrong >slightly panicked you slowly wake up >your arm is around your mother >and your manhood is between her legs >the real kicker here, is that she's absolutely soaking >alarmed yet aroused, you slide back so you aren't pressed against your mothers crotch >she moves back into you >and then you realize >people who are asleep don't move that fast, or respond that quickly >or gasp in their sleep >she's awake >fuck >Fuck >FUCK >FUCKFUCKFUCK >calm down. Relax. Use your brain anon. >thinking... >what do? >... >you're really bad at solving problems >you begin to think you're reta... >"mmm... Nonny..." >maximumbonerdrive >she's grinding you gently, probably trying not to wake you up >not sure if that's good or bad, all you know is that it feels really good >she presses into you a little harder and continues grinding >you're inside the indentation of her pussy against her panties >it feels so good, Jesus >she quietly moans >"nonny... I love you so much..." >she really does love you. But this might be a little much. >if only she wasn't so warm, and soft, and... Everything else. >stupid sexy mom >she pushes into you a little harder, gasping at decent volume >with the last press, you and her panties slip in a little further >and you gasp a little from the sudden stimulation >she stops moving >like, as if she was dead >"a-anon?" She whispers "Uh. Mom?" >"oh god, anon I'm so sorry!" >she scoots away >"I woke up and you were like that, and it felt good and I love you so much and I was so thankful and..." "Mom, relax." >she stops rambling >"do you hate me?" >on one hand, she kind of just molested you. On the other, you enjoyed it, and have been half dreaming this would happen. >the reason you stopped spending time with your mother a few years ago was because you fell in love with her >not mother son love, but love love. >you tried so hard to keep distance between you, hoping to control yourself until it went away but it never did. >this evening started off with you thinking you had gotten over it, but in the end... "No mom. I don't hate you. You're my mom, you take care of me, and do everything for me without me asking. And I know dads been gone for a long time, and that you have needs too." >"but anon I shouldn't feel like..." "Mom I haven't been very honest with you. The reason I stopped spending time with you was because I... I started to see you as a woman who cares about me, and not my mother. And I've realized it's okay to feel both, but I shouldn't press my feelings on you." >"so you feel... That way?" >fuck this is akward >deep breath anon, now is the time. "Yes mom. I do. I love you more than anything, and you mean the world to me. And if this is a way for me to pay you back for all you do for me, then it's okay." >she's crying >but she's smiling >that same beautiful smile that makes the whole world fade into the background >she comes over and sits next to you >"anon... Is it okay if we..?" "It's okay with me. I love you mom." >your heart is going to explode, seriously, it might. >she's leaning in towards you >she's closing her eyes >and she kisses you >this isn't a normal peck on the lips from your mother, in this kiss is more. >relief, happiness, love... And lust. >her lips pressed against yours, she puts her hand on your chest >the mental floodgate is gone, it's time. >you move your hands to her breasts, kneading them as she moans against your lips >you push against her and lay her down against your bed, kissing her until she lays flat across it >you move your hands to the sides of her breasts, then down her tanktop until you find the bottom fringe of it >she knows what your doing, and her breathing gets heavier >you lift her tank too over her head, and she reaches back to unbuckle her bra >bad day to wear briefs, should've worn boxers >it's like a boa constricter is laying on top of your dick >you give her one last kiss before sliding off her skirt and panties >she's absolutely soaking >she leans forward and grasps the rim of your pants and briefs and slides them down, all in one quick movement >she grins, her long hair highlighting her eyes, sparkling like magenta diamonds >she pushes you onto your back now, and presses her lips onto your dick, engulfing your erection with the warm slickness of her mouth >if there is a god, he's a pretty cool guy because this is fucking divine >her hand wraps around your cock as she presses her tongue against the tip and sucking "Mom, that feels..." >"hmm?" >fuck that's nice "Fuck that's nice." >she humms into you once again, shooting electricity up your spine >you watch her work >this couldn't be any better >and then she stops, swirls her tongue around the tip and lifts her head up >a look of seductiveness and nervousness greets you >"anon I... I'm ready." >she's your mom, and she loves you more than anything. She's your world, and you'd never do anything to hurt her. >you reach out and grab her hands >and lay her back >once she lays flat against the bed once again, she looks up at you >she's crying again >"I love you anon. So very much. I'm ready when you are, just... Be gentle. I'm more fragile than I used to be." >she closes her eyes with that look of bliss and happiness, waiting for you. >pressing your cock against her lips, you gently slide yourself in. >she inhales deeply, as your the first she's had since your father left >"ahhh! Anon! Oh god, it's so good!" >she arches her back, thrusting Into you, pressing you deeper >she looks at you, tears in her eyes as you move >occasionally you thrust too deep and she winces in pain >you slow down, and thrust so that when you pull back you almost slip out before thrusting deeply back in >she's moaning really loud now, every other thrust she releases another hot breath against your chest >"anon I can't... Get pregnant... Anymore...so you can..." "Okay, okay..." >she can barely contain her moans now, each thrust of your hips brings her closer >you're close too, almost at your limit >you give it your all, thrusting with speed, strength, and precision >"anon, I... I..." >she throws her head back and moans your name, her pussy clamping down on you as you thrust in all the way >this is it, you can't hold back any more "I love you mom... I love you..." >and with that you release inside her, filling her with your warmth >her head lolling to the side, panting >you both bask in the afterglow, before looking at eachother >she gives you another kiss, and throws her arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace >sweaty, wet, and sticky you lay there, holding eachother >"thank you anon... Thank you for everything. I've had an amazing day with the person I love more than anything, and I couldn't be happier." "I'm glad I was able to make you happy, you always do everything you can to make me happy..." >"because I love you nonny." "I love you too mom." >you roll over beside her, holding her close and running your fingers along her back, like she used to do when you were young >she lays there quietly smiling that same beautiful smile, and then, she begins to sing. >"you are my sunshine... My only sunshine... You make me happy, when sky's are grey... You'll never know dear, how much I love you... Please don't take, my sunshine, away..." >she kisses your forehead, and you fall asleep, holding the woman you love, until you finally fall asleep... END ======================================================================================================================================= -Celestia- >You walking through the castle on your way to your room. >You see the staff has already put up the decorations for Hearthwarming Eve. >Almost everything is ready. >...almost. >You enter your chamber and walk towards an old chest in the corner. >You open it effortlessly with your magic. >Inside are some of your most prized treasures. >You smile and carefully shift through the contents until you find what you're looking for. "There you are." >You wrap a doll in your magic and pull it out. >It is a small crochet doll that resembles your son from all those years ago. "Are you ready for Hearthwarming Eve little one?" >You ask it and proceed to make it dance in response. >You return to the box and find the versions of Luna and yourself as well. >You bundle all the dolls together and smile seeing your family together. "I've got a surprise for all of you. We'll actually be a real family again this year. Isn't that great?" >"Mom? Who you talking to?" >Anon asks and walks into your room. >He sees what you are holding and he stops in his tracks and covers his mouth. >"Are-are those..." "Yes Sunshine." >You answer him and float his old doll over to him. >He hesitantly reaches out and takes it. >He examines it with his eyes and then his hands. >"I-I completely forgot about these after so long..." "I've been bringing them all out every year. It... it helped while you were gone. It didn't make the pain of you not being here disapear, but it helped." >You walk up to him and wrap a wing around him, hugging him close to you. "But this makes the pain go away. I'm glad you're back home Sunshine." >"Me too mom... me too." ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Twilight Sparkle, right after getting your wings. >You are officially a princess. > Which means one thing, you are finally good enough for him. >Prince Anonymous. >It was unthinkable for a Prince and yourself to be together before, but all that has changed now. >"Why hello Princess Twilight, what brings you to the castle?" >Princess Celestia smiles warmly at you. "Actually, it's about Prince Anonymous." >Her smile fades quickly. >"Twilight... we've been over this before." "I know, but now that I'm a princess, I just thought-" >"That now you're good enough for him?" >She gets right to the point, just like she always does when she's talking about him. >She gets up from the throne and walks up to you. >"Let me tell you now, Princess Twilight Sparkle..." >She bends down and looks right into your eyes. >"You will never be good enough for him. Ever." >You wince at her words. >You remember growing up with Prince Anonymous, and how he always insisted you just call him Anon. >How you played house and pretended to be married. >Princess Celestia even thought it was cute, until you both got older. >She eventually gave you an apartment downtown with its own library in it, and she said she would come over to teach you so you didn't need to go to the castle anymore. >Just then Prince Anonymous came into the room. >"Hey mom I- oh Twilight, it's good to see you again. Did you just get here?" >You are about to speak but are cut off. >"Unfortunately, the princess was just about to leave. Isn't that right Twilight?" >You sneak a quick glance at him before lowering your head. "Y-yes I was. It was good to see you two again though..." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Care to cast a vote for Prince and Princess of the fall formal, Anonymous?" >'....' >"Wheres your school spirit, sweetheart? Look at your Aunt, she's positively soaking with anticipation for you to put it inside her box." >'Mom w-we're at school..' >"Your vote, silly. Put it in her box. ======================================================================================================================================= >"'Oh nephew, I...'" >"Hurr I'm Anonymous and I am blind and deaf to your lewd invitations, Auntie, I think I'll go play xbox for a few hours before I have my mother orally satiate me and pass out too early to enjoy you raising the moon. Also I am a dork." >'*ahem*...' ======================================================================================================================================= >You feel as your heart begins to break. >Your can't stop crying. >Your little body is trembling. >You want to yell. >You don't want this. >You don't want to be here. >You want Philomena back. >You want Shiny back >You want Aunty back >You want your mommy back >You are being lifted by this cold magic. >Even if it's the magic of this pony that looks like you mommy >It's pretty cold. >It's looks at you. >You can't take you eye from her. >... >It start to laugh very loud. >It startles you. >You finally are yelling. >You are Nightmare Star. >You find the bastard and despiteful son of your other part. >This being that is not more than 5 years old was enough to break Celestia's defenses. >You are happy. >Not only you managed to get to Celestia, now you are the new ruler of all the entire equestria. >You feel how the energy is being expelled from your body in every inch of your being, >You lift the boy. >You are grateful. >But >You don't find him of utility anymore. >You are trapped inside you. >You can still smell, hear, feel and see everything. >But you can't do anything about it. >You see your little baby. >You want to hug him. >You want him between your hooves and wings and just hug him. >Tell him that everything is gonna be ok. >His eyes are filled with despair, sadness, fear >----"So, this is your son Celestia, the little Anonymous." >You hear the one who is controlling your body begins to talk. >You feel it's dark influence. >It's hatred. >It is strong. >----"So, you want to hug him, Don't you?" >!? "STAY WAY FROM MY BABY, YOU MONSTER" >----"What, are you scared?" >You see her using you magic to levitade your son. >----"WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GIVE HIM A HUG!?, HAHAHA-" >Your body is smiling and laughting. >Anon is in total state of panic. >So you are. >Your instints start to kick in. >Your baby needs you, and he needs you know. >You fell your body trying to react but it fails. >Anon is still crying for help. >Don't worry baby, mommy is here! >Your magic is attracting Anon to you body. >You are crying now. >No! >Stay way. >You are fighting to null the spell. >It is in vain. >Your heart is pumping with excitent. >You don't know what to do. >You feel his little body touching your body. >Your hooves are around him now. >You can't belive this. >You can't do this. >Please... >Please, no more´ >Don't do this >i beg you... >please... >----"LETS GIVE HIM A BIG HUG!" >NO >LET MY CHILD ALONE! >PLEASE! >NOT MY CHILD MY NONNY! >You feel drops falling from you body and hooves. >You have your body back. >You are hugging your child. >You had been hugging him for a long time. >You are crying. >You don't know for much time has passed. >And you don't care. >All was late. >Your sister was late to save you and canterlot. >Your student was late to save equestria. >And you were late to save your most precious treasure and love in this place. >All that is left is a barrel and desert volcanic planet. >You don't care what happened to anyone. >You don't have your little ray of sun with you anymore. >You killed Nightmare Star and all the world the same day you beloved son died, >It's been thousands of years since that, >You sing the same song you used to sung to him to take him to sleep. "You are my sunshine... My only sunshine... You make me happy, when sky's are grey... You'll never know dear, how much I love you... Please don't take, my sunshine, away..." >You are Celestia and you want to die. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anon, come back to bed." "You know I can't. Mom will be waking up any minute now, and we can't let her catch us like this." >"You worry too much." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hey, uh, Twilight, look, theres something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now." >'Y-yes, Prince Anonymous?' >"Shoot, t-this isn't easy to say but..Twilight, I'd really-..what I'm trying to say is it'd really.." >'Yes, Anonymous?' >"..Do you think I could get Moondancer's number from you?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"mom, can you tell me who my father is?" "Well... um, Sunshine. It's... well it's complicated. Luna can you help me out here?" >"Of course sister. You see nephew, you were found in the woods and are adopted. We know not who your father is." "LUNA!" >"I-I'm adopted? You found me in the woods?" "Oh Sunshine, we-" >"Indeed you were. I recommend leaving you there because we had never seen a creature like yourself. I am happy that your mother ignored my protests." "LUNA!" >"What? I said I wad happy you brought him back and raised him as your own. Why are you looking at me like that?" ======================================================================================================================================= >>Mom why is my sock on your nose? >Your horse mother will never get enough of your scent >She personally collects all of your dirty laundry under the guise of wanting to keep your royal garments clean >And she will clean them >But not before piling them all on her bed and rolling around in them >She then picks out all of your under-clothes for further inspection >She sniffs the armpits of every t-shirt, the toes of every sock, the crotch of every pair of boxers ======================================================================================================================================= >time for a snack. >seems like Mom was having a diplomatic meeting again... >"Lord Scaleback, dragon incursions on equestrian airspace outside the dragon migration period cause severe disruption to Pegasi and the surrounding population, I've received several reports of cloud disruption, near collisions with pegasi and smoke pollution by any and all passing dragons." >Dragons? Neat. You thought >you watched from the open Doorway at the delegation, giving your mother a silent wave >"it is of minor concern Celestia these accusations are nothing short of preposterous! And furthermore...furth-" >the Dragon stopped dead mid speech as he took notice of the Human standing in the doorway >the entire group of dragons looked like they had seen a ghost and went pale with fear >they huddled frantically and in hushed tones you could make out words >"Human" "Exiler" "The old world" "Dragonslayers" "The Dragon Exodus" "flee" >you stared back at them >"what?" >Lord Scaleback jumped with fear >Celestia looks perplexed with the whole situation >"is something wrong Lord Scaleback?" >he responds but still refuses to take his eyes off you >"n-no no! Nothing wrong! I w-will rectify these violations at once, my-my most humble apologies princess! Now now! Must be off" >the Dragons jumped from the table and fled through the stain glass windows in apparent terror >distant screams of "flee! Flee for you lives!" could be heard >"Oh for fuck sake" protested Celestia >you decided to continue your journey to the kitchen. Whistling innocently Human are feared by all the creatures in equestria. ponies are the only ones that don't know this celestia basically gave birth to a demon and she doesn't know it. >Lord Anonymous bursts through the door of the great hall belonging to the minotaur that called his mother a dork, sword in hand. "Alright you little bitches, who wants to dance?" >Swiftly he's charged by the elite guards of their king, each standing at least eight feet tall with muscles the size of melons and clad in full plate armour. >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjrJqcZg_Wg >Anon smirks before charging into battle. "I fucking love my job!" And yet he's still willing to have afternoon with his dear mother and aunt in the palace gardens while wearing the hoofmade t-shirts she made for him. God help anybody that says it's kind of stupid. And yet he's still willing to have afternoon with his dear mother and aunt in the palace gardens while wearing the hoofmade t-shirts she made for him. God help anybody that says it's kind of stupid. >"My goodness!" >Anon looks up to his mother who'd been reading that morning's newspaper while sipping at her cup of tea. "Everything okay?" >Celestia spun the paper around in her magic grip and pointed out the large headling on the front page. >"It says here that King Ironhoof, the leader of the minotaur tribes, was found butchered along with over fifty of his bodyguards late last night! Who could have done such a thing?" >Anon cleared his throat and took a slow, deliberate sip of his own tea while his aunt continued to fan herself in an attempt to cool herself off. "Oh... Yeah, that's a real mystery." ======================================================================================================================================= Dumb idea I had at work earlier: What if the dragons' deep-seated fear of humans came from errors in translations between dragon dialects over the last 100,000 years? What if an ancient manuscript describing humans as "Dragon-slayers" actually meant to say "Dragon-layers"? What if a passage saying "A human female likes to use a long flexible straw to drink the innards of a dragon's egg" was supposed to say "There was a human female once that could suck a dragon's egg through a garden hose"? What if a warning that "A human male can use only a stick to knock out 10 dragons with a single swipe" was meant to read "I once watched a human male knock up 10 dragon females in a single night"? What if the real reason they should fear us is because once upon a time long ago we almost fucked them into extinction? ======================================================================================================================================= >"What do you get, when you cross an owl, with a bungie cord?" >'I don't think they know that one, mom.' >"A-anonymous, sweetheart-..uh I mean, wowy zowy, Prince Anonymous!" >'No one's buying it, mom, I got a call from Ms. Cheerilee informing me of her 'new student' that only shows up during snack time.' >'Let's go, mom. Out, out, shoo, c'mon.' >Your mother makes sure to take the blue crayon of the filly next to her and sticks her tongue out >'That's not very mature, mom.' >"Pbtttt to you, Anonymous.." ======================================================================================================================================= > It's been a long day. > You wish you could just crawl into bed. > Those nobels were just so demanding. > 'Oh my taxes are too high' or 'The pond next to my house is 14 feet deep when I asked for 15.' > Bucking first world problems. > And you had to listen to each one of them. > You could really use a good drink right now. > Especially after that last meeting. > Something that should have been resolved in 5 minutes took an hour because they wanted to talk with the Princess. > It has been a day and a half here. > You walk back to your room and want to just lay down for a minute or two. > Just to have time to yourself and- > What is that lump in your bed? > You magic your covers up and see your little ray of sunshine laying there asleep. > Oh, now what's he doing here? > You nudge him with your wing. "Sunshine..." >"Mmmmm..." > You find yourself giggling in response. "Anon, wake up sweetheart." > He groggily stirs and ribs his eyes looking at you. >"Morning Mommy." "It's still night honey." >"Oh good, then I didn't miss you." > He crawls over and hugs you. > Ohhh... >"Mommy... is it okay if I sleep in here with you tonight?" > You consider it breifly and can't think of anything wrong with that. "Well, I suppose it's alright tonight." > He tries to hide his happiness but can't hide that smile. >"Thank you Mommy. I love you." "I love you too honey." > You kiss him and crawl into bed with him. > Without a doubt, your day ended well. ======================================================================================================================================= >"I am NOT telling you again, mister." >A defiant Anonymous lies splayed across both his mother and aunt's thrones >"Anonymous B. Wonderful, I am going to count to 3..." >'I don't care, I'm NOT eating lima beans OR brussels sprouts, so nyah!' He says sticking out his tongue >"One.." >...."Tww-..Anonymous where'd you get those cooki-..do NOT open that package, young ma-..ANONYMOUS, SO HELP ME IF YOU EAT THAT COOKIE." >...nom..om..nomnom >"THAT is IT, Anonymous, your Aunt and I are ver-..Luna?" >[Moonhorse eating chew chips ahoy noises] >"T-THEY ARE THE SOFT & CHEWY VARIETY, SISTER, I WAS NO MATCH FROM THE BEGINNING." ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Luna, do you think it's at all odd that at barely age 8, Anonymous is 6'3 and weighs a solid 240?" >'You DO force the boy to eat all his leafy greens, Tia.' >"HI MOMMY, HI AUNTIE LU- oof.." >"SWEETHEART, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" >'FOUL OAFISH TREE ROOT, YOU DARE CAUSE OUR PRECIOUS NEPHEW TO SCRAPE HIS KNEE?!' >The guards exchanged puzzled looks as 2 demigod princess horses take turns kissing boo boos on a grown man >"Would you like to come with mommy to daycourt, sunshine?" >'Mhhmm!' >The Princesses' full grown 'little man' hops atop her back >"Weee!!-..Oh..um..I'm not too heavy, am I, mommy?" >'Anonymous, I lift the sun for a living, you big silly~..but you COULD stand to cut back on the sweets.' >"Moooooom!" He says flustered >After making their way through the palace's maze of halls, the two reach the throne room where day court is taking place >"Oh my wooord, Princess he is just ADORABLE!" >Anonymous shrinks and attempts to hide in his mothers mane >'Anonymous, sweetheart, you KNOW Ms. De Lis, don't be so bashful.' >"S-she's pretty!" Anonymous gleefully exclaims before pulling the mane curtains back on himself >"Princess, keep an eye on this one, there are certainly many single mares that'd just love to have him to themselves." >'Oh my baby's not even a teenager and he's already got the mares going gaga.' >"MOOOOMMMM!" >"Hmm..he COULD be part minotaur, Your Highness. Though the apparent lack of horns is puzzling." >'Chh, testing, Roger that, over, this is Big Solar Swaglord XXX420, say again what is your status, over.' Anonymous says into the stethescope he's wearing >"Was there something especially troubling about his current state, Princess? He seems healthy to me." >'H-HE SAID I'M GOOD, MOM, WHERES MY LOLIPOP-, I WA-, I WANT THE BUBBLEGUM ONE!' >'Anonymous, sweetheart, hush. You're sure, doctor?' >"Your highness, surely you've noticed your soon is a boy of impressive stature.." >'Lishen to the docker, mom.' Anonymous says crunching into a handful of suckers from a mug on the dr's desk >"He's, if you'll forgive me, young master, healthy as a horse." ======================================================================================================================================= “Hey mom, everything okay? You look distracted.” >”What? Oh, sunshine I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m supposed to be their princess, but at times I just feel more like their mother. Honestly it feels like I have to I’m babysitting the nobles and dignitaries more than holding court at times. I just feel drained and really could use a break from it all. The work and being everypony’s mother I mean.” “Okay mo- I mean, Princess Celestia.” >She lightly laughs at that. >”That’s alright honey, you can still call me mom.” “That’s good. But what you said did give me an idea though. Let me take you out tonight to help take your mind off all of that stuff you mentioned. A good old night on the town, what do you say?” ======================================================================================================================================= >"You're telling me my darling Anonymous robbed several businesses, started numerous fires, and didn't ONCE say 'please' nor 'thank you?' >'That's right, Princess, your son MUST be-' >"ANONYMOUS WAYNE CAMPBELL, GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT." >"..Sup, mom?" >"Anonymous, I pride myself on being a kind and forgiving mother, but I'm having difficulty maintaining my composure in light of your awful behavior." >"M-mom, I uh..-" >"NOT another word out of you. Anonymous, you were RAISED to be courteous and to always remember your please's and thank you's. For forgetting your manners, you're getting a time-out." ======================================================================================================================================= >"O-ofcourse I'll go to the fall formal with you, Anonymous." >'..I didn't ask you to the fall formal, Twilight. I asked you to let go of me.' >"No need to be skittish with your feelings for me~" >'You are so getting tasered.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Night, mommy, night, auntie." >'Goodnight, sunshine~' >'We shall see thee off to dreamland soon, nephew.' >Anonymous goes out of earshot and up to his room >"Ok Luna, seriously, are you telling me you REALLY don't see a change in Anonymous' appearance?" >'..You DO make the boy eat all his greens, Tia.' >"Luna, he's 10 years old and has the strength to rival Miss Pie's eh..differently abled sister. For starswirls sake, he even has the whole of the guard unit scared crazy of him." >'Hmm, I've seen their dreams and can confirm this. The tickles they've seen..' ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Prince Anonymous the First. >Also be walking through the castle when you hear your mother from outside. >"Come on Luna, you can do better than that." >"Says the mare eating cake instead of exercising!" >Just what are they doing out there? >You walk out and see pic related. >"Come on LuLu, you'll never keep the inches off your flank if you don't pick up the pace." >"Again, you are one to talk sister!" "Hey mom, auntie. What are you doing?" >"Oh, hello sunshine. We're just doing a little work out is all." >"We? Do nor let her fool you nephew, she has not lifted a hoof since we started." >"Oh hush you. Anyway would you like to join us sweetie? I think I have a spare outfit in the bag for you here." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Alright, are you ready for bed my little prince?" >You nod in response. >"Let's see... you have you jammies on, did you brush your teeth and go potty?" "Uh-huh, see?" >You smile showing her proof. >She giggles. >"I see your brushed teeth, but I'll take your word on going potty." >She walks to her big bed and lays down on it. >"Well come on sweetheart. I know you get scared of sleeping alone at times like this, so you can sleep with mommy tonight." >You smile from ear to ear and scurry along as fast as your little legs can manage. >You struggle to climb onto her big bed and you hear mommy giggle again. >You are wrapped in her warm and familiar magical grasp and are effortlessly lifted onto the bed beside her. >You snuggle up against her side and she drapes one of her wings over you like a blanket. >You love when she does this. >She smiles, leans down and kisses your forehead. >A yawn escapes your lips and you feel your eyes get heavy. >"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take, my sunshine away." >She sings to you and you feel yourself drifting off to slumber. >"Sleep tight honey, I'll see you when you wake up again my little prince. I love you." ======================================================================================================================================= >you traipse through the cold, tiled castle >your blanket drags behind you quietly as your stomach grumbles echo through the entire castle >you have no clue what time it is, though Luna's still awake >you get to the kitchen finally and have to use the chairs nearby as support >notgonnamakeit.jpg >you collapse at the sheer emptiness of your stomach "My sweetest sunshine, what are you doing out of bed so late?" >shit >"So... Hungry..." >you groan low, making those beautiful eyes of hers roll >you never really knew they glistened in the dark like that >she smiles and lowers herself down, picking you up and letting you rest curled up on her back as she sets you a bowl of chocolate cereal "Do eat up, sweetie... You can rest in Mommy's bed tonight so you can get here if you need more." >"... Thanks, mom." >you happily tuck away and get your fill for the night ======================================================================================================================================= >"Uh, Twilight, are you sure eating so much is a good idea? It kinda looks like you're having a hard time breathing." "No now, Spike. I need you to go fetch me another family portion of hayburgers and fries." >"But-" "Now, Spike! My Mare's World magazines told me stallions love mares with curves." >"Yeah, but-" "Finally I know the secret of getting Anon to love me." >"Can you at least take a shower? It's been almost a month since your last one and you're getting sort of... uh, greasy." "No showers! They'll wash off my enticing mareish scent." >"But it's causing the pages of all the books to curl." "Nevermind that, go get me more burgers... and an extra-large soda!" Meanwhile "Hey, Ma?" >"Yes, my darling?" "You know who I really, really hate?" >"Shining Armour?" "No... Well, yes, but no." >"Who then, my sunshine?" "Fucking fatties. God damn, I hate them so freaking much." >"Oh?" "I'm not saying we'd be better off without them, I'm just saying that it'd be interesting if we built-" >"Sweetheart, you know we can't gas ponies just because you don't like them." "Yeah... I guess." >"Cheer up, darling. I happen to know my sister's currently in heat, so why not go pay her a visit? That always leaves a smile on my special little man's face." "Eh, maybe later." "Holy shit, Spergle, what the fuck happened to you? Did you get trapped in a vat of chocolate and have to eat your way out?" >"Achuta, Anon! Me chuso die wanna wanga ba-tu. Boska, chuba!" "What? I don't know what the fuck you just said, but a heard my name in there. Need I remind you it's 'Prince Anonymouse' to you, Spackle." >"Ho ho ho! Bonapa keesa. Tolpa da bunky na booty cha naga o wanna meete chobodda." "Spike just what exactly is that supposed to mean? Is she having some kind of stroke?" >"I don't know, man. She just started talking like that once she hit four hundred pounds." ======================================================================================================================================= "Hey Spike ready to head... Twilight, what are you doing?" >"Twilight? I don't know what you're talking about Prince Anonymous, I mean 'Bro'. It's me Spike. But if you're looking for Twilight, I think she's in the library being totally available and perfect for you." >You have to give her props for originality, but it's still way to fucking early to be dealing with this shit today. "Y'know Twilight, I actually think you look kinda cute in that little outfit." >"'H-HAHA! Y-YOU TOO! I-I mean, uh, you really think so?" "Oh, without a doubt. But really, in my opinion, the "worthless garbage" look would suit you much better." >"G-garbage, huh?" "Yup. Maybe some rotten banana peel, some bilge, a paper bag for your head...I think a nice swim in a dumpster would go a long way for you." >"W-well...I don't know..." "Do this for me, little piggy, and I swear I'll sweep you up off your stubby little legs." >The purple sperg is gone in a flash, and you're off to warn the guards to expect a crazed, filthy vagrant at the front gates. ======================================================================================================================================= I'd be curious. Kind of. Dumb stupid book girl, goes away for summer and comes back all hot. >"Chh, gross, mom, l-like I'd want to go out with Twilight and that nice tan complexion and those long leg-..damnit" >'I figured as much, sweetheart. Don't worry, your aunt and I have planned an entire evening of korean soap opera's for us all to enjoy!' >"...I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE, MOM, AND I'M ONLY GOING BECAUSE IT IS CLEARLY THE LESSER OF THE TWO EVILS." >'Have a wonderful evening, sweetheart~! Make her work for it' ======================================================================================================================================= Comps busted but I can at least try to bring some green from my phone >based on a prompt from an older thread >"Oh dear, oh dear..." >you know how he's going to react already, but a message from Lady Luna cannot be delayed >"Oh goodness, oh no..." >still doesn't make this an exciting venture though >"Oh sweet mercy plea-" *thump!* "Dusty!? Are you alright?" >you look up at the imposing human you've trotted into >for a brief moment, fear shoots through you, but quickly fades as he kneels down and removes his helm "Honestly Dusty, you still working yourself ragged? You know how that worries me." >you smile at the prince as he helps you up and pats you down, preening over you like a worried parent >he is always so kind >it only makes you feel that much worse knowing your going to have to be the one to make his day sour >"Thank you my prince." >you cough and attempt to get your bearings >"I was a-actually looking for you, I've a message of utmost, *ahem*, importance!" "Oh?" >"Y-yes, you see, many a suitor has arrived this day to to-" >the prince laughs before you can finish "Come now Dusty! More suitors? You know I'm just going to deny every one of them as usual right?" >"Well you se-" "OH! Is it another group of oh so haughty royal bloods? Or!? Perhaps a majestic princess from a far away land! Here to wisk me off my feet with golden trinkets and hard to understand accents!? >he does an exaggerated swoon to prove his point >"A-actually my prince, the suitors are here for your mother...Princess Celestia..." >the prince stands stock straight, his once joking expression now unreadable >"Now your aunt sent me here to ensure tha-" "My sword..." >"E-excuse me my prince?" >he slams his helmet on before running in the direction of his quarters "I NEED MY SWORD!" >you stand there staring as the prince bolts away >with a sigh you begin trotting back to the throne room >you love the prince just as much as his mother and aunt, but you feel far to old for this >"A-and he just ran off! Before I could say a thing!" >you giggle and nuzzle the old maid atop her mane, she worries so much for your dear nephew, just as much as you and your sister >"Worry thine self not dearest Dusty, we shall intercept our nephew, and ensure he is calmed." >the maid breaths a sigh of relief before turning in surprise to the cacophony of metal clanking coming down the hall "Ragggggh!" >you place a hoof to your mouth in an attempt to withhold your laughter >your dearest nephew looks as if ready for war, a large pile of random weaponry in his arms, most likely pulled from his bedroom wall in one swoop >"And just where do you plan to go with all that my most precious nephew?" *snrk* "I da, swords, suitors...mother." >poor Dusty seems a fright, shaking at the sight of the "heavily armed" prince >"Was though planning to duel for thine mothers hoof?" >this seems to jolt him from his panic, as he drops the pile of weaponry "Wah, I...no, the suitors" *cough* >you can contain yourself no longer, and fall into uproarious laughter >your nephew clenches his fists and seems to glare down at his weapons >seeing his emotional distress quickly throws you back into your mothering state, prompting you to approach him, and nuzzle into his stomach >he combs his fingers through your ethereal mane, such a relaxing feeling you enjoyed to partake of, with the added benefit of calming your dear nephew down "How did I not know of this before?" >you let out a muffled giggle >"Because thine mother knewst how you would react, dear nephew." "Then why tell me now?" >"For we shall not see our beloved prince kept in the dark of this matter, despite however our sister shall protest!" >he removes his helm, a clear look of pensive distress plastered across his face "Are they here for you as well auntie?" >you are somewhat surprised at the question, but look towards the ground as you scuff your hoof >"Oh goodness no, no suitors have come for this ones hoof in... We cannot remember..." >your nephew goes from his once calm state, to roiling rage as he grabs a blade from the ground "How dare they not see!-er or wait, how dare they? But also how dare they come for Mother! But... Also not for you? >your tinge of sadness gives way to laughter once more, seeing your nephew attempt to defend your honor, whilst also jealously guarding both you and Celestia for himself. A mix of rage and confusion pouring from him that only makes you hug him harder as you laugh >"And! *pffhaha* whilst though defend mine honor with an ornamental blade?" >the prince looks over the blade before tossing it down and reaching for a real weapon "I mean *clank* I just *clonk*" >with a sigh you gently pat his head, smiling as he looks up at you from his crouched position >"Come nephew, let us show you there is nothing to worry for." >he grunts "You expect me sit there while they oggle mother?" >you giggle and shake your head >"Dearest nephew in all our long years of life we can assure you, not a single would-be suitor has ever come CLOSE to impressing sister, let alone me" >you giggle once more before planting a kiss on his forehead >he sighs and places the blade back into the pile "I...will bring the weapons back" >Dusty steps forward, speaking up for the first time in the conversation >"I will take care of it my prince, you needn't worry yourself." >he looks over and pets Dusty "Thank you Dusty, please get some of the other maids to help, I won't have you working yourself to the bone on my account." >she bows and prances off, obviously in higher spirits with the prince calmed >"Shall we dear nephew?" >he groans and rolls his shoulders, before opening the side door to the throne room >this is a test >it has to be >not of body or mind, but endless willpower >your fairly certain your going to fail this test... >"For truely, the noble bloodline of House Hoovemtau could only benefit the crown in marriage!" >Holy Tartarus you hate the upper echelon of Canterlot so damned much >you've long since stopped trying to hide your scorn for the suitors that come marching forward, one annoying maggot after another >even had to put your helm back on, as it probably looked like you were trying to incinerate the wannabe royals with your mind >you are at least thankful that your aunt had the foresight not to sit you next to Blueblood or Twilight >"Ha! House Hoovemtau? Ilk such as them is no better than a rabble of Diamond Dogs." >although you can at least agree somewhat with Blueblood's mocking of the suitors >"Ugh, peasants!" >you still want to drag his face across the marble until you discover if his name is true to its word though >"I'm sorry Lord Thistle, but I see no gain in joining with your house." >Luna certainly wasn't lying, mother has been shooting them down one after another >as the failed suitor leaves, another steps up to the metaphorical plate >you can only stare in horror at the utterly massive line reaching past the main throne room doorway, deep into the foyer >when it came to your suitors you we're accustomed to a few every month, but this was damned near event proportions >you glance over to main "attraction", and can only guess her mother sense was tingling, as she looks to you with a warm smile >for a brief moment all your troubles are gone...until you return to glaring at the current suitor >a...donkey? >... >oh, he's reading poetry >you look down at the table, considering lobotomy by self imposed head injury >a tap on the side of your helm has you looking over to auntie >that self satisfied grin of hers >you'd be mad if she wasn't so damned adorable >"I um..I h-heard the royal family was entertaining suitors this afternoon, Ano-..PRINCE Anonymous?" Twilight chirps >'Yeah, now's not really a good time, Twiggle Piggle.' Anonymous says in between annihilating would be suitors for his mother and aunt >"Luna isn't that just darling? He's so protective of the two of us." >'Verily, sister. NEPHEW, THIS ONE STILL BREATHES, AND I HEARD HIM SAY YOUR MOTHER HAS FAT FLANKS.' >after what seems an eternity of watching either rage inducing or cringeworthy attempts at wooing your mother, a deep bell tone rings through the castle >a deep sigh of relief is all you can muster, finally a break from this torture, time for the luncheon >the suitors and Canterlot royals who had attended to watch, disperse through the halls, either to talk amongst themselves or to find a spot to sit and eat >Celestia descends from her throne, coming to sit with her sister and son >without a word she pecks your helm where your cheek would be >damn, you regret putting it on now >"A most tempting haul of possible mates, neigh we say dear sister?" >the toothy grin, waggling brows, and barely contained laughter shows the absolute dripping sarcasm of your aunt's words >your mother can only respond with a deadpan stare before promptly planting her face against the table with an audible *thump* >Luna loses to a fit of giggles and even you can't help but chuckle as reach to pet the exhausted princess's back ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon entering furiously in to the room where all the suitors are. >Warning them if any of them touch his mother they will be sorry of even think about it, looking dead into their eyes while holding the hilt of the sword still in its sheath. >Each of them scared of anon decides to make a run of it. >Meanwhile celestia its in the hallway hoping that this will end quickly with a visibly bored expression in her face. >She suddenly see all the suitors leaving the room, dumbfounded of what happened she decides to enter the room to see what was the commotion. >She quickly recognizes his son sitting in one of the couch. >Celestia quickly connect the dots and giggle with one hoof in her mouth. >Anon was just staring the floor without noticing his mother, thinking of what just happened. "I didn't know you were one of the suitors" >"Mom¡¡¡ where did you.." "Eliminating the competition yeah that's a good tactic" >As she says that she quickly seats besides anon wrapping him with one of her wings. >"Mom.... i'm sorry i didn't know what..." "But you know this wasn't a fair fight to begin with" >Anon stares her confused. "You know why" >She look at him with a warm smile "Because i will choose you of any suitor" >She then kiss his forehead and hug him in a tight embrace. "Don't worry my little anon, you are my everything, you know that right?" >They stay like this for a while until anon breaks the hug. >"Thanks mom heh it was kinda silly of me huh?" "Nah i hate this suitors meeting but you know your aunt" >Anon just laugh at her mom remark. >"Yeah... well lets get going since well you have the day off why don't you spend it with your little anon" "That does'nt sounds bad, all right lets get going before your aunt know what just happened with the suitors" >When they were leaving anon hugs her suddenly >"You are my everything too" "Anon...." >He quickly break the hug and gets going. >She feel her cheeks flushed a little. "I didn't know my little anon was this protective for me" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Um..sweetheart, do you think you could give me a hand in the coat room?" >'What? Mom, this is priceless, Purple Dumb is having a shitfit Discotech brought the ooze with him.' >"Maybe you didn't understand me, Anonymous. Mommy NEEDS you..in the coat room right now." ======================================================================================================================================= "Oh hey sweetie do you like to help us paint" "Nephheeewww look how she messed me!!" >Aunt Luna was just there angry and pouting at mom. >"Why the two of you are in your undies" "Well we were dressed normally but i cant contain myself so i messed with Luna a little" "NEEPHHEEEWW!!!" "And one thing led to the other so this happen" >"Damn you two behaves like children sometimes" "Oh come on anon don't be like that, don't you want to join the fun just look at Luna" >Your aunt just stares you with puppy eyes hoping you stop your mom somehow >"Nah i pass have fun you two" "And where do you think you are going" >Your mom suddenly gropes your mid-section throwing you above your aunt, and throwing herself in your back. "Ouch nephew what are you doing" >"Ok that's enough mom" "No until you decide to paint with us" >Fuck, you are in some kind of sandwich, on top of your back your mom and below your aunt, you can even feel their breasts touching your chest and back. >You only hope you dont suddenly pop a boner. >Oh boy ======================================================================================================================================= >It's been a long time since you've last seen your dad.Not since before he'd gone to war.From the letters he's sent it's gone well. Except for getting his ring stolen and melted down by a couple of midgets. >Now he was finally coming home. "MOM! Mom, Dad's home!" You shout excitedly, practically bouncing despite your heavy armor. You couldn't wait to hear his stories. And go hit the elven whorehouses later. >Mom just rolls her eyes as the door opened and Dad walks in, his armor vanishing in a flash of magic fire. >He makes it about halfway to the throne before he catches you in a hug. >"Good to see you've grown up to take after your father. Can't say I agree with the weapon choice." Dad chuckls, looking over your armor and the sword on your hip. "Hey, not everyone can use a hit home runs with soldiers in platemail like you." You counter defensively. >Dad only laughs as the two of you walk the rest of the way to the throne where Mom patiently waits, letting the two of you talk and joke. >"Still as radiant as ever, Celly." He said drawing her close and kissing her cheek as she wrapped her wings around him. >You couldn't help but feel a bit jealous as you watched the two of them. >"Sunshine, do you think you could give us a moment together?" Mom asks, her eyes fixed on your dad. >You already know the look she's giving him. It's the same one Luna gives you whenever she goes into estrus. >Making a mental note to tell the maids to scrub give the throne room later and not wanting to interrupt your dad while he rails Mom as she's bent over her throne you run for the door, being sure to tell the guards not to go in until someone comes out. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Young man, what are you drinking?" "White Gull." >"Anonymous, how many times do I have to tell you that you're too young for alcohol?" "It's not alcohol, it's a witcher p-" >"No time for excuses, Anon, I have a meeting with the owner of the Canterlot zoo that I really must be getting to. Apparently somepony broke in last night and killed their prized manticore." "Mmhmm." >"While I'm gone, remember what I told you? No igni signs inside the palace." ======================================================================================================================================= >"We're off to capture all the digimon, sunshine!" >'NEIGH, SISTER, WE ARE OFF ON OUR QUEST TO BECOME THE NEXT HORSE-KAGE! IT IS A TRUE STATEMENT!' >If you had to guess, you'd figure that was auntie's moon speak for 'BELIEVE IT!' >"Uh, alright, I'll see you guys later, love you." >Oh god, please don't run with your front hooves out behind yo-..aand they're doing it ======================================================================================================================================= >Looks like mom's got that look in her eye again... >"I want grandchildren, Anonymous." "I know, ma." >"That's the plural, sunshine. It means 'more than one'. I'd like several grandchildren." "I know what it means, mom." >"You've started, then? You've felt the white-hot romance burning in your veins as you pin your mare to the bed underneath you, ready and eager to receive your fertile-" "Stop it, mom. That's lewd." >"When are you going to introduce me to your marefriend, sunshine?" "Don't have one, mom. >"I see. You require assistance? Perhaps I can have your aunt 'grease the wheels', a bit with some subconscious suggestions. Name any name. sweetheart." "That doesn't sound strictly consensual, mom." >"It's all perfectly above board, sweetheart. Love is a magic, remember? And like any magic, it is malleable, and we can can manipulate it. Just a little nudge, is all. Then rest will be all up to you two. Call it fate. Her destiny, with you, revealed in a vivid, slightly saucy dream. Where did YOU think all those ancient tales of romance, dreams. and visions came from? I can tell you now that the author of more than a few of them bathes infrequently, is partial to grilled cheese, is associated with dreams and the moon, and lives in this very castle." "Can we just drop this, please?" ======================================================================================================================================= >the prince was really close to Cadance when they were younger >young Twilight had a crush on the prince, but he was always focused on Cadance >being smart for her age, she ensures her brother and babysitter spend more time together >they fall for one another, but the prince already figured out what was happening >he now hates Twatlot, hence the way he treats her in the current time >with their new child Cadance is more than happy to name the prince Flurry's godfather >he often babysits Flurry, and despite Twilights continued attempts at winning the prince's affection, she's almost certain her efforts are even in more vain now >anytime she trys to get close or strike a conversation, Flurry is always taking up his time or ensuring she has her precious uncles full attention >as he his carrying a crying Flurry back to the throne room one day, she briefly stops to look right at book horse with a tiny grin followed by a raspberry, before she goes right back to crying and nuzzling into her uncles shoulder >Twilight can only stare on in rage and horror as the realization hits her >this big winged filly bitch is cunt blocking her! ======================================================================================================================================= So with the new baby alicorn all over the board, how long till we get uncle Anon stories or until mom starts to pressure him to settle down and give her a grandchild or dozen. >Celestia goes overdrive with the suitors. >Weeks on end, dozens of noble mares form a line for audience towards your hand. >Hours upon hours upon hours of nothing but sitting on your ass refusing them. >There's no end to them. >They keep wasting your time. >Fuck it; if you must waste everyday on suitors then it will be on your own terms. >At the crack of dawn you wake up. >You grab your sword. >You don a set of black armor. >You move to the castle's entrance and stand there all morning. >You watch through your closed helm as potential suitors start arriving yet again, however this time you are here. >The snobby noble scoffs at your towering presence. >"Remove yourself from our path, sir knight; I am Caliber, King of the North, my fair daughter is to win the royal prince's heart this day." >You say nothing, even though that horse he calls a daughter is a 4 at the least. >"I say, remove yourself!" >You say nothing. The darn noble has his head so far up his ass he doesn't even suspect you to be the prince. >"That's it then, foul miscreant, I demand to know the name of the creature that dares to bar the path!" >Still you say nothing. >Other suitors have also arrived and are now watching in curiosity. >He huffs indignantly. >"Right, come along dear, her highness will hear about this." >He motions to walk around you. >Nay. "NONE SHALL PASS." >"Beg pard-" "NONE SHALL PASS." >"Such buffoonery, I have no quarrel with you, sir knight, but I must enter the castle." "THEN YOU SHALL DIE." >"I command you as king of the North, to stand aside!" "I MOVE... FOR NO HORSE." >"H-Horse? Alright, I will not be made a mockery any longer, come dear, we leave." >You watch as one suitor is down. >You unsheathe your sword and stab it through the ground. >You turn your helm to the next one and wait for them to try. >Many disperse. >Others never get past you. >Rumor spreads of a fierce Minotaur in armor that stands at the entrance of the castle. >They who are able to get past him shall gain audience with the prince and soon his hand in marriage. >Come every morning, folk from all walks of life come see the nobles try and fail. >Even Celestia herself approved of such thing; saying that she payed a sellsword to guard her son, her mirth at the spectacle overriding her immediate want of grandchildren. >Families even start making their daughters train in the ways of fighting to take the dreaded black knight in mortal combat. >"My goodness dear sister! Who art that devilishly handsome dark warrior we lay thine eyes upon!?" "The Black Knight? Oh that's just Pri- I mean, he's a sellsword I hired to ensure only the most worthy of suitors gets to see our dear Prince." >Luna seems to distracted in staring dreamily at the black knight to have noticed her sisters slip-up >"Such restrained power, and a commanding voice to. Oh and those MUSCLES!" "He is wearing a full suit of armor Luna..." >"Yes but underneath that dark heavy metal I can sense a most handsomely muscled form!" *Snrk* "Can you now sister? You seem quite interested in him." >the princess of the moon seems to become quite shy scuffing her hoof across the ground >"Pray tell dear sister, would you think this one has a chance at seducing such a warrior?" >your just barely containing your laughter now, but you gotta keep this up "But of course Luna! He'll be putty in your hooves! However, he seems to respect only those with great strength." >Luna gasps >"Yes! We must prepare ourselves! To show this warrior we art no simple royal ninny. Thank you dear sister, we are off to woo the black knight!" >you wave her off, with biggest grin you can muster "You go get em tigress! He'll be" *pfft* "He'll be swooning for you before the sun goes down! >be the prince, currently disguised as the Black Knight >a very excited auntie just ran back into the castle, your mother waving at her with that tell tale pranking grin >your not sure what's going on, but you already know you don't like it >You stand guard in front of the throne room door, the line of would-be suitors finally beginning to dwindle down for the day >nothing new really >royals claiming their houses have been around for countless generations >nobles screaming for more respect >"princesses" crying for a chance to simply speak with the prince >and the occasional challenger who goes down with the slightest of boops >you briefly think over what you would do if one ACTUALLY managed to beat you, the thought is hilarious but also mildly disconcerting >maybe if they did you woul- >"Fair knight! We seeketh thine audience!" >you'd recognize that kind of talk anywhere >turning your head to greet Luna gives you quite the sight >she's dressed in...your not sure how to describe it, a battle dress uniform? >not only that, but her starry mane has been pulled back into a ponytail >she soon stands before you, from here you can see that she has a rapier hooked to her side >you've never seen auntie like this before, she's actually really cute, you'd have to ask her more about it later "Can I help thee Lady Luna?" >gotta keep up the act in front of the suitors >"Oh um we *ahem* simply wished to speak with you, good sir knight." >the proud stance she had when walking up to you is gone, she almost seems shy now "Me? Are you certain you do not wish to speak with the prince?" >you motion towards the throne room >she simply shakes her head, looking at you with increased fervor >"As we have said sir knight, we have come here...for you." >as if to ecenuate her point, she does a strange mix of fluttering her eyelashes and winking >a loud guffaw in the distance catches your ears >"For it is YOU that have caught our heartstrings!" >Luna stands on her hind legs, a hoof over heart and another extended towards you >and then it hits you >auntie doesn't know it's you wearing the armor >oh buck... ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Anon, walking throught you house like your mom owns it. >Then you hear it, the sound of Twatlot Sporkle talking with your mom. >Time to turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away. >"Twilight you need to press this button to jump." >"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING!" >Alright, your interest is peeked. >You again turn 360 degrees but this time just walk foward. >You look into the media room as your aunt insists on calling it, but you both know it's just a second living room. >You see your mom and Twilight sitting playing a video game. >Not just any game, they have your old Nintendo out and are playing your games. >Oh and they're half naked too. >Not sure why you noticed the Nintendo first. "Um, mom... What are you doing?" >"Oh hi sunshine. I was telling Twilight here about your old games and she said she wanted to try them. I hope you don't mind." "But why are you both almost naked?" >"She said it helps her concentrate. But I dont think it's working. Maybe you can help her, she seems to keep getting stuck at this part." "I don't know..." >"Like I need your help Anon. You probably can't play this game either." >Bitch you what? "Give me that." >You say snatching the controller from her. "Just watch and learn nerd." >"Like I could learn anything from you loser." > You dont know why... But Twilight seems more bearable today. > You are Celestia, and you plan to make Anon get together with Twilight seems to be going well. > Tell her to play hard to get and Play Nintendo. > Works every time. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hey, mom, do you want the last don-.." >Mom's autistic pet protoge' is currently doodling on her passed out face >'Look, Anon! Pwincess wooks funny!' >"..Oh, you're fucking dead, Twiggle Piggle." >Sometime later >'Hm? Heavens, I seem to have dozed off during our lessons! My apologies, Twil-..' >Purple Dork is covered in shaming graffiti >"I draw on people's moms when they are asleep", "I think I live here", "I smell and I'm dumb". >'ANONYMOUS!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Why don't you run along and play with some of the guards, sweetheart?" >'Ok, mommy!' >Echoes of thunderous footsteps reaches the barracks >'Oh no..n-no, no, not again!' >'THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! SAY AGAIN, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PREPARE YOURSELVES, MEN!' >"Hi, Mr. Shiny! Hey, Mr. Sentry! My mommy said I could come play with you guys again!" >A terrified Shining Armor levitates a catatonic Flash in front of him >'P-PLEASE, YOUR HIGHNESS, TICKLE HIM FIRST!' ======================================================================================================================================= >You are walking to the gym, at the same time you're wondering why your mom and aunt wanted you to go there after school ended. >You're about to find out since you just arrived. >You own the doors with the key mom have you and enter. >All the lights are out, maybe you're early. "Mom? Aunt Luna? You guys here?" >"Yes, please close and lock the door." >Your aunt says. >You question it, but still do as she requests. >"Sunshine, do you remember when we told you we were once in a band, and that you said we should get back together and play again?" "Is that what this is about? Yeah, I think it would do you guys good to stay playing again. You guys going to play but are embarrassed about others seeing so you want to do it here?" >"Indeed. Consider yourself fortunate to be the first to witness the triumphant return of..." >The lights come on and you are left speachless as you see your mom in a slave Leia costume and your aunt in just her underwear. >"The Sex Slaves!" >Theu see your confused expression and your mom clears her throat. >"Now I know what you're thinking, 'How can they be the Sex Slaves if they're both not wearing the slave outfit?' And you'd be right." >She says looking over at Luna. >"And why is that?" >"Because it is at the cleaners, sister." >"Because it's at the cleaners, yes." >That wasn't at all what you were thinking, but now that's all you can notice. >"So please look past that minor wardrobe issue and enjoy this 'exclusive' show." >She says with a wink. >You look up at them and then to the lone chair in the gym. >It's not like you've anything better going on right now, might as well let them relive some of their youth. >You walk over and sit down, at the same time noticing large grins on each of their faces. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Twilight, please, I've heard quite enough." >'B-but Princess, it's all true!' >"I'll not hear of it! Does THIS look like the face of someone who'd switch out all the flour at sugar cube corner with powder cocaine?" >'Yes! He even-' >"ENOUGH! Another word against my son and you'll see the dungeon for slander against the prince!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"...Twilight. Do you remember that talk we had about personal space." >'..Your mom said we should study together.' >"My mom also says cake is a food group and that Boston is the best rock band ever." >'M-more than a feelin'..' >"I'm going to call the cops." ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'm so glad you suggested that I pull out the old family albums. I haven't seen some of these pictures in ages." "I'm just glad you had them Princess. It's wonderful to see artifacts from the royal family." >"Artifacts? I'm not that old Twilight." "I didn't mean- uh... oh look, is that Prince Anonymous?" >"Why yes it is. He looks so adorable there, and so little too." "What's going on there?" >"Oh that. Well that was part of his naked phase, every child had them. Just look at that cute little butt of his." >"Hey mom, have you... is that the photo album? I thought I hid all of those." >"That was why it was so hard to find. Come sit down and look at your pictures sunshine." "H-hello Prince Anonymous." >He looks right at you. >Eye contact, that's an improvement. >"Never mind, I'll be with aunt Luna." >Proncess Celestia sighs. >"He was so cute." "You know... an age spell could fix that..." ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon tries to take Mom out to dinner one night >can't take her anywhere nice because he spent most of his allowance on stupid shit >Mom realizes that he's worried about that >arranges under the table for the establishment to make a big production out of it >acts all surprised that Anon would go through all the work to set something like that up >most of her fun that evening comes from the relief and wonder on her son's face ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mmm, shunshine, has mommy ever told you how handshome you are?~" >'I think that's enough 'beverages' for one night, mom..and yes, several times.' >"Oh..I..I'm shorry..*sniff*..m-my boy is embarassed by his mother! WAAAAHHH" >'What? Mom, no, I didn't mea-' >"NUNUNUN, YOU-, YOU'VE SHAID QUITE ENOUGH, MISHTER GROWN UP MAN..*hic*" >"I'll..*sob* I'll just g-get my things and go." >Mom materializes a suitcase with her cutie mark on it and begins filling it with liquor bottles and cakes >"Y-YOU WON'T HAVE THIS OLD MARE TO 'CRAMP YOUR STYLE', DUUUUDE" >She turns to address the rest of the party >"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOU'RE COOL, and fuck you, I'm out." >She opens a door with her magic and stumbles out the party >'Mom, that's the closet..' >"AND IT'SH DARK...L-LIKE MY FEELS..*hic*" ======================================================================================================================================= Why won't you love me, Anonymous? “Quit it with the shit Sparkle, you and I both know what you really want AND it’s Prince Anonymous to you.” >”What are you talking about? My feelings have always been the same since we were kids, even after I became a princess myself, my heart is still yours.” “Are you saying it's a coincidence that it was precisely during that time that my mother gave me *that*?” >Her nose scrounges and her eyes dart side to side. >“I-I don’t know what you mean.*that*? Surely you aren’t implying I’d give myself mind and body to someone for the rest of my life over *that*” >You glare at her as you take a bite out of your cake. >You and Sparkle have known each other ever since mom took her as an apprentice, having her classes with you. >Not once did Sparkle show any interest in you. >That is until your 12th birthday, when mom gave you her most treasured book as a gift. >Suddenly it was “Prince Anonymous” this and “Anonymous~” that >It didn’t help that mom was pushing for you two to actually become an item. >Not outright forcing it, but urging you with coos, praises, teases and play dates. >Even when you took up the saber and taught yourself how to use it mom would come along with “Oh~ how elegant and dashing, dear, are you planning to impress a certain young mare?” ”I’m telling you now Sparkle Butt; no matter what you do, no matter what you say, I’ll never let you peer into that ancient tome.” >”Gah, why are you such a jerk!? I-I actually do love you, you royal ass!” “Keep those feelings to yourself then, silly horse, you’ll never read it.” >You actually make a point of hanging the book over her head though, every time she achieves something, you’re always there to tell her that no matter what she does for the rest of her life, her pursuit of knowledge will forever be lacking because she will never peer into your mother’s deepest musings put to paper. >*knock* *knock* >The door to your room creaks open slightly and your mom’s head appears from the side, her mane flowing and a hoof covering her eyes. >”Anon, dear, I hope I’m not interrupting you two from indulging in yourselves…” “M-Mom.” >Even though she covered her eyes she still peeks. >All she sees is a flustered Sparkle and you lazing around having cake and tea. >“Oh, did I miss it? Are you two recovering to get back at it? Ah~ to be young… I can come back at a later time...” >You pinch the bridge of your nose. >You can’t be angry at your mother’s antics. “Can I help you mother?” >”Oh, “mother” is it? Ohohoh~ trying to act posh in front of a mare hmm?” >”P-Princess Celestia…” “Mmooom.” >”Alright, alright, I came to tell you that the package you ordered has arrived and is now being scanned for any threats, I’m going to afternoon court now, just wanted to see how you were faring.” ”We’re fine, thanks mom.” >”Have fun you two.” >With that, she leaves. >Silence. >”Anonymous please, let me see it!” “Fine.” >You stand up and walk to your night stand; you take a thin book from the drawer. >”You keep it in your night stand!? Are you insane? Whatever knowledge this book holds should be protected and secure!” >You hand it to her. >She gleefully levitates it and brings it close. >You can see in her expression that she’s dreamed of this moment for many years, almost half her life. >You crack a smile. >”No title, but the cover is quite worn and shows incredible age…” >She puts it down on the low table and cracks it open, nose flaring as she takes in the smell of old musty book. >She shivers. >Damn nerd. >She begins reading the contents out loud. >”Prince or Princess, King or Queen; for whomever this book owner might be they shall forever be of Equestrian royalty.” >Sparkle looks at you, you urge her on with a blank stare. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Sir, you've a letter from home." >'Oh boy oh boy oh boy, bet it's my son, he always asks me how battle's going, curious little bastard-, I KEEP asking the wife to let me bring him, but ahh..' >'Alright, what've we got her-' >The letter bursts into flames as a holographic Celestia appears >"SO HELP ME IF YOU BRING HOME ANY MORE ELVEN SLUTS FOR OUR SON, I WILL PUT THAT ONE RING SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT NOT EVEN-" >'Eh..hehe, that's uh..that's my wife, guys. Love of my life, as it were, heh.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"D-dad, look! I'm all ready, too! Can I come with you?" >'Oooh I dunno, sport..' >Little Anonymous hangs his head >'You might scare the enemy right off the battlefield! You'd put your old man out of a job with that scary mug, kid!' >Anonymous 'Grrrr's best he can and tries to raise the sword >"I'll tell ya what though, I'm gonna bring you back some dwarvish armor about your size and you can practice with that. Sound like a plan?" >'Yay! Mom, mom, dad sai-' >"Nonononono, shshshshshhhh..l-let's uh, let's just let this be a thing between you an your old man, huh? Your mom has that ca-raaaazy idea that it's baaaad for you" Dad says sarcastically wagging his finger and shaking his head >'D-dad..' >"Right behind me, isn't she?" >"I swear Celly, you coddle that boy too much, at least if I brainwashed him, he could be a badass dark warrior." “Don’t be silly, as a mother, coddling is my bread and butter, you are the one that should be here for the rest, after all…” >The tall Dark Lord just dismisses your, quite unsubtle, plea for him to take a more engaging role as a parent. >”Where’s my whelp at?” he bellows. >”I’m right here father!” the little boy cries as he jumps up and down in front of him, barely even reaching the Dark Lord’s stomach. >“Celly, where’s the kid?” >You smile at this. >”Father! Right here!” >”Guess he won’t be able to see me for a few.” >”Come on father I’m right here!” Anon clutches himself around Sauron’s greave. >Deciding enough’s enough the dark lord dislodges the boy and sets him down before kneeling to get at least closer to some semblance of eye level. >”Damn kid you’re a stealthy little bugger, huh? Should drag my filthy Spymaster here to learn a thing or two.” >Anon chuckles bashfully, a voice sounding quite distorted for a child. >”When will you teach me how to fight father? I want to bend weaklings to my will and make minions out of them!” >”In due time whelp, with patience you’ll be leading armies and conquering lowly filth day and night! You have the makings of a Dark Lord in you, and I won’t expect less than a headcount in the tens of thousands from my kid.” >”I’ll create entire rivers out of the blood of my enemies, you’ll see!” >How did you end up with these two bloodthirsty beasts? >Sauron pats Anon’s head before pulling himself up. >"Anyway, I came to pick up my CD player; some faggots are challenging me at the Black gate. Toodles" >With that, he leaves. >”Dad’s so cool! I want to go with him next time!” >You pick him up with magic. “When you’re older, now it’s time for breakfast.” >”Can I have pancakes!? Please?” “Sure, anything for my little lordling.” >Try as you might, you can’t turn your child into a more peaceful sort it seems. >”My lord, it seems our enemies are retreating.” “Good, gather a detachment of scouts and riders to pick them off, I want them all dead by week’s end.” >”By your command my lord.” >Damn right it’s by your command. >You grow bored. >You haven’t had a challenge in a long time, you don’t even need to deploy. >Week, even months long campaigns are nothing but you issuing orders and sitting on your ass. >In fact the highlight of most of your days, when you don’t publicly execute a “hero” and see morale plummet so far so fast that it reaches the world’s core, comes from the mail you get from your wife and son. >Your wife is soft, so much so that you’d be amazed if she ever participated in war, that plot tho, it’s no secret that you’d wage all-out war with everything and anything JUST to cup a feel of that flesh. >Nothing makes you harder than spilling blood for your significant other. >Too bad she thinks violence isn’t an answer for anything, even with walking reasons like you around. >Then again, you haven’t so much as pulled a hair out of her subjects. >Wait… >Clever girl. >The boy… well, you won’t ever admit it, but you’re scared for him; surrounded day and night by prancing faggots and being constantly coddled. >Maybe you should get him a slave girl his own age to do with as he wishes. What is he, 9 by now? >He should be breaking virgins. >That’s settled, you’ll get him a slave girl one of these days; impossible to find in the battlefield but you can just take the fairest one from a random village. >”My lord, you have received postage.” The misshapen sickly filth you call your courier kneels before you and presents a box. >Geez, you bet it’s another of your wives fruity gifts… “Bring it here.” >”At once.” Without lifting its head your courier hands it to you. >To your surprise it’s from your son. >You open the box and take out a large fang. >Quite large really, hard as diamonds too it seems. >You pull out an envelope with your wife’s royal seal. >It reads, in poor, boyish scribbles as follows: >”Father, how are you? I’m fine and so is mother, I have sent you a piece of my first glorious kill; during this winter, I got bored. Is it boring waging war father? I got bored and wandered off. Nobody tells me what to do. I found myself a den of dimwitted mongrels called diamond dogs, after doing what you taught me I had them at my beck and call, with promise of wealth and gems, it was amazing… one thing led to another and I led them all the way to this dragon’s cave and took it out with my minions; the look on mother’s face when I had my minions drag it home along with the little wealth it had… it was a juvenile dragon, but to me it was huge! So now I have its skull hanging over my bedroom’s mantle and had some posh peasant fashion me a dress out of its skin! For mother of course. To you I give one of its fangs, dragon’s here eat gems, they must be quite hard! Maybe you can fashion it into a weapon.” >You look back at your hand. >This thing is large, but by no means fit to even be a dagger… you’ll make a letter opener out of it you guess. >You return to the letter and finish reading it. >”PS: I had the staff take a picture.” >You look inside the letter again and see it. >In the castle courtyard, surrounded by small bipedal dogs is your boy. >Arms crossed, short sword stabbed into the beast as he stands atop its dead form. >You swell with pride. >Boy shows much promise! >Forget about some lowly human slave girl, you’ll be getting him an elven girl! >You rise up from your throne and turn to your nearby generals. “Look at this! My kid killed a dragon!” >You show the picture and the large room breaks into guttural roars of celebration. >Damn, you feel so proud you’ll have your entire army know about it Too bad LOTR elves get so mad that they'll literally die if raped. >Implying that isn't a plus. >"Hey kid, where's that little elf girl I gave 'ya?" >"W-Well, t-the thing is... she kinda died?" >Sauron sips from a mug that says "#1 Dad" >The liquid spills out and makes a mess of the table as he refuses to remove his helmet for anything. >"Did you "stab" her with your "sword"?" >"Yeah." >"Got me by surprise too the first time around, if you want to keep them around for long you must have them eating from the palm of your hand first; conquer them emotionally before conquering them physically! Don't sweat it, I'll get ya an even cuter one next time!" >"You're the best dad!" ======================================================================================================================================= >It's 'Take your son to work day' >You've the chance to see mom and dad at their respective professions >Mom's already conceded paperwork isn't the most riveting, interesting spectacle and said you may go with your father if that's what you wish >You really don't want to hurt her feelings though >"..M-maybe you could come WITH me, though, mom?" >A small smile makes it's away onto her muzzle >'It's been ages since I myself felt the rush of battle, sunshine, but I'm not sure your father would want me there.' >"NONSENSE!" Dad roars an-..is he crying? >"Oh..t-this is wonderful, my son and my wife wishing to be on the battlefield with me! W-we'll make a day of it!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"M-master Sauron, tis been a long time." >'Luna! How are you?' >"Prithy, forgive our inquiry if it may seem rather forward, but, d-dost thou have a brother?" >'Damn, Auntie..' >'LULU!' Mom shouts >Once Anon matures and takes strikingly like his father Luna starts making subtle advances, because it's the next best thing. >Anon is too busy going to war with dad and having fun to notice. >"Heey sport, got a minute?" >'Sure, dad, what's up?' >"Uh..shoot, well this isn't an..uh, easy thing for me to say as a dad, but..it's about performance." >'..Am I doing poorly in battle?' >"What?-NO! Not even. This is about eh..*ahem*..the home front." >"Have you noticed either your mother or au-..well especially your aunt, acting differently towards you as of recent?" >'She DOES visit my dreams fairly often, yeah..' >"Anything else?" >'Just the other day she said she wanted to show me a night I'd never forget and that she'd-' >"Heheh, ok ok. Geez, my son the sublime green beast of prey over here." >"Anyway, um..a man is judged on two fronts in life: the battlefield, and home." >'Yeah...?' >"The former is pretty self explanitory, while the latter encompasses things like eh..maintaining 'satisfaction' throughout the household." >'Dad, are you telling me I need to start 'servicing' Auntie as well as mom?' >"Yes an-, wait, 'as WELL as mom'? Heh, well I ought not be surprised, you're my son after all." ======================================================================================================================================= >"NOT a word, Anonymous. I flubbed a spell, it'll soon wear off." >'Awww, maybe I like you this way, mom. Look how cute you are!' >"P-put me down!" >'Let's fly to the castle!' >"Anonymo-, oh no, n-no, don't.." >'Oh I pretty much have to now, ooh I'm gonna tickle that tummy.' ======================================================================================================================================= I'm sorry Been habitually dwelling upon Mom's voice for about a week now. Starting to hear multiple people from my dreams in her voice. Even my air conditioner once told me "good night" in her voice. Feels good man. Not Sorry ======================================================================================================================================= >"*ahem*..Eh..come, sunshine, we hath-..I mean, I've drawn a lovely bath for us, then we shall retire for the evening!" >'..You look different, mom..and wait, a bath, for US? Uh..I'm pretty sure I can bathe myself fine, thanks.' >"DO NOT BE DIFFICULT, ANONYMOUS, WE ARE YOUR MOTHER AND WE HOLD DOMINION OVER THE NIGH-..woops." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, my most detested son! Ready yourself for our new reign!" >'New wha-..detested? Uhh, ouch?..' >"Tis' a term of endearment, oh exalted nephew." >'What's with the get-up's? You guys going to see KISS or Motley Crue?' >"Anonymous, when your Aunt and I return, we expect to see a kingdom in full disarray and chaos, is that understood?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hey, you must be Sauron's kid, huh?" >'Y-yeah, have you seen my dad?' Anonymous holds up a brown paper bag >'My mom wanted me to bring him his lunch.' >"Your old man, eh? Alright follow m-, HEY, ONE SIDE, BOSSES KID COMING THROUGH." >Dad's monstrous co-workers greet you with fervor >"OH, EE'S A HANSUM LITL GROT HE IS." >"AWW LOOKIT EM' WIV HIS LITL SWORD AN SUIT A ARMOR." >'Dad! Here! Y-you forgot this!' >"Heeey tiger! Just in time, too, I was gettin awful hungry and was thiiis close to eatin the next little boy I saw.." >He starts tickling you >"Hey, thanks for showing my kid around, Lewis." >'Lewis? I thought he was The Witch King of Angmar, dad.' >"..T-told you that in confidence, Sauron." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Don't think I'm gonna go easy on you there now just on the count a' you being the princesses gosh golly son, mister." >'Do you even have jurisdiction here? Last I checked this isn't Whinnyappolis.' >"You just put a sock in it, dontcha' know! I took an oath to stop crime when and where ever I saw it, gee willikers." >'Haha, you talk funny.' >"Insulting an officer?! Oh well that tears it, you big galoot, your mother is going to get an earful and then some!" >'What? N-no, don't tell my mom, please!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, you're in big trouble, young man." >'You will cease eating those chewy chips ahoy THIS instant, nephew!' >"No joke, mister, one more nibble and the mommy horseshoes are coming off.." >....*munch* >"I'm going to count to 3..." >'THOU ART TRIFLING WITH FORCES YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND, ANONYMOUS.' >"1..." >om..nom... >"2...completely serious here." ======================================================================================================================================= lunalicious.jpg >"H-how is it, nephew?" >'Hmmm..certainly not without a bitter tang to it, but aside from that, it's pretty good.' >"Ooh punch! Don't mind if I do!" >'OH GOD MOM DON'T.' ======================================================================================================================================= >It's nice having mom and dad under the same roof >you've forgotten how fun loving he is >with moms muzzle buried in some reading and dad distracted by a game on tv, it's now or never >you can't just LEAVE cookies out unattended in this house >"..Dear, how much of this is true?" Mom says looking up from her book >'Huh? Oh uh..d-don't read too much into that old thing, that Baggins guy clearly had an axe to grind with me from the beginning.' >Mom smirks and goes back to reading, and dad- >...where'd he go? >"I spyyy with my little eye....SOMEONE TRYING TO GET COOKIES BEFORE DINNER!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Prince Anonymous, the Princess of Sadle Arabia is here to se you." "Ugh, I already told her I'm not interested. But gotta play the diplomat. Where is she?" >"She said she would be in your quarters your highness." "Of course she is. Thanks." >You start walking to your room to the waiting princess. >Can't tell if it's your human body they want or if they want to use you to get close to mom. >Maybe both, but you're tired of every place sending potential suitors. >You open the door and see a purple mare with her back to you. "Princess?" >"Why 'ello, Prince Anonymous. 'Ow are you dis fine day?" >And it's just Twilight... again. >And is that a horrible French accent she's trying to do? >Does she honestly think they talk like that in Saddle Arabia? She's supposed to be smart. "Twilight, what are you doing?" >"Eye am not dis Twi-light of whom you speak. But she is probably super smart, cute and totally perfect for you." "Twilight, you dropped your accent." >"I did? I mean- eye do no know vat you are talking-" "Now you sound like a vampire. I'm leaving, don't take my underwear this time." >You are Twilight, and you really though this would work this time. >The prince just walked out of his room. >Once he leaves, Princess Celestia pokes her head out of the closet. >"I'm sorry Twilight, I really thought that would work. Don't worry, we'll probably get him next time." "Okay... can I still have a pair of his underwear?" >"Help yourself dear." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Walk me, Anon, as your mother I command you!" "Hell no! Last time you pooped right in the middle of the lawn while a school trip was exploring the castle grounds and I had to pick it up." >"There's almost no chance of that happening again." "Are you even looking for a counter-spell to change you back to normal?" >"Arf! Arf! Arf!" "Fine, I'll walk you! Just stop yapping, god!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Come on sweetie, it's bedtime" "But I'm not tired mommy, I don't want to go to bed!" >"It's been a long day Sunshine, you need your sleep. Now come here and snuggle up to mommy." "Ok..." >You crawl into bed as she lifts the blankets with her magic. >You nestle against her side and rest your head on her coat >She hugs you tightly and nuzzles you cheek. >You hug her back and bury your face in her fluffy chest >It's soft and warm, and makes you feel safe and protected as ever >She begins to hum a familiar tune >Her gentle and warm voice soothes you. >You rub your eyes and yawn >She starts to sing softly >"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine" >"You make me happy when skies are grey" >"You'll never know dear, how much I love you" >..."Please don't take my sunshine away" "I love you mommy" >You begin to doze >"Sleep tight my little ray of Sunshine, mommy loves you too" ======================================================================================================================================= >"But what if she says no?" "It doesn't matter honey, remember that one stallion that came with his mother to the prom" >"Mom, that was Joe, he has the story of every girl she dates, every one gets her dougnut punched" "...What does that mean?" >"I... really don't know, but i'm still nervous about all of this" "Don't worry a thing honey, i have the guest that she will come to you and all will go ok?" >"Do you really think that mom?" "Of course i do honey, but just remember, it's just a dance. Have fun, dance a little, Everything will be fine" >"Oh, i love you mom" "I love you too honey" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Work? Oh no, the only work I want you doing is here with your mother." >'..Around the pool?' >"Oh pool, kitchen, bedroom, garage, attic, I'm not choosy~." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Nephew, I must ask, do these 'pocket monsters' really kill one another in battle?" >'Well, I think they did in the manga, but no, in the game they faint.' >"Anonymous, what kind of mother just lets a 10 yr old prance off to a creepy neighbors house and go 'on an adventure' unattended?" >'I dunno..fuckin'..japanese moms?' ======================================================================================================================================= >'Mom, please, stop, this is ridiculous.' >"Nonsense, sweetheart! Ooh I never realized how much fun it is being eeeevil." >'Mom, visiting 40 lakes isn't 'eeeevil', I don't think you know what 'eeeevil' is.' >"It's as many as four tens though!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"How art thou finding this truly euphoric evening, Nephew?" >"We ourselves have been making many of the excrement posts upon the image board, hoofchan." >'Auntie, take the hat off, you know my mom lies when she says it looks cool.' >"...Will you not stay for mountain dew and grilled cheese sandwiches?" ======================================================================================================================================= >'My, it'd appear thou hast went through quite the growth spurt, Nephew.' >"Mommy says it's cause I'm eating all my vegetables!" >'Undoubtedly so, already on your way to becoming the finest breeding stock Equestria has seen in some time.' >'Anonymous, sunshine, why don't you go play with the guards while your Aunt and I talk.' >"Ok, mommy. HEY, CAPTAIN SHINY! MR. SENTRY! MY MOMMY SAID I CAN PLAY WITH YOU GUYS AGAIN!" >The whole of the guard unit is thrown into a panic as Shining Armor kneels down pleading 'PL-PLEASE YOUR HIGHNESS, TICKLE THEM FIRST.' >"Spell? I did no such thing to him." >'..Sister, we art no expert on humans but we are fairly certain human colts are not supposed to stand near 6'4 and weigh 240.' >The guards continue their panicked retreat from the prince >"CAPTAIN ARMOR, NO!!!!" >'G-go on without me, I'm a goner' Shining says being hugged by Anon ======================================================================================================================================= >"Twilight, I'm telling you right now: I'll kill you if you don't find a way to change them back." >'Heheh, what's the hurry, 'Son'.' >"Da-, MOM, I swear..." >'Zounds, Tia! You've a 5th leg!' >'So do you, Lulu.' >"OK WELL THIS HAS BEEN GREAT BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO CHANGE THEM BACK NOW, TWILIGHT." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Don't just sit around all day sunshine, it's gorgeous outside. The sun is shining, the birds are signing, what more could you ask for?" >You look over to her and just now notice her outfit, more more accurately lack there of. "Mom, why are you dressed like that?" >"As I said, it's beautiful outside. Now come on, put that video game down and let's head out. We can grab some lunch and maybe even some ice cream or a shake on the way back." >Better go with her. >You need to do your part to keep the oggling onlookers at bay. >Your mother is probably one of the smartest people you know, but damn could she be stupid at times. >Doesn't she know what'll happen if she goes out like that? >Not that anything ever has. >She's always rebuffed every guy who's tried to even talk to her. >Maybe she's just clueless. "I'll be there in a second. Just let me save this quick alright?" >She smiles and leans down, kissing your forehead. >"I'll see you outside then." >You've just convinced Anon to go out with you. >It's a good thing it's so nice out. >It lets you get away with dressing like this. >Maybe today he will get all those hints you've been doing to him. >You love him dearly, but damn can he be stupid at times. >Maybe you'll get an ice cream cone and slowly try licking it in front of him. >If some of it just happens to melt and fall onto your chest, then opps... >"Okay mom, ready to go?" "Of course." >You smile and take his hand. >Hopefully he picks up on your signals soon. ======================================================================================================================================= >As Luna's moon looms over Canterlot, Celestia walks the quiet halls of the palace >It's only now that the constant din of arrogant royals and impatient courtesans has ceased, that she has a moment to herself >A moment to reflect on >Would Equestria still have need for her and her sister beyond controlling the heavens? >Would Luna eventually take a pupil much like she did? >Would the changelings ever ret- >"ZZZZ..huhwha..zz.. THROW THE FLAG, ASSHOLE..sccczzZZZZZ" >'Whatever's in store. We'll face it together.' She said, using her magic to place a blanket over Anon >"Zzzz..hhnng..luhyoumama..zzZZ" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Sister! We hath donned our swimming gown and are ready for aforementioned fun n' sun!" >'Lulu, your enthusiasm is delightful but I'm afraid that style swimsuit is a bit outdated.' >There's a knock at the princesses chambers >"It's me, mom." >"Come in, sunshine." >Anonymous jogs in wearing a striped swimsuit, swimcap and oversized goggles >"BULLY DAY FOR AN EXCURSION TO THE COAST, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE, MOTHER, AUNTIE?" >"HA HA, LAST ONE THERE IS A YALE MAN!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"...Wonder who the niners are gonna take in the draft this year.." >'Sister! Dear Nephew is on the phone and wishes to speak with you.' >"Lulu, he'll never learn responsibility or restraint if we're there to bail him out everytime." >'Sister, please, h-he could be scared and hurt!' >"Gimme the phone.." >"Anonymous?" >'*HIC* OH T-THANK GODSH ITSH YOU, MOM, THE LAST FEW NUMBERSH I DIALED WERE VERY RUDE." >"Are you drunk, Anonymous?" >"....Um...no." >"Well then you should have no trouble finding your own way home, young man. Perhaps you'll learn a thing or two on the way." >"MOM, NO D-D-DON'T *HIC* DON'T HANG UP, I'M BEING FOLLOWED BY STREET FILLIES!" >"Sounds delightful, sweetie, hanging up now, mommy loves you, buh bye" >"NO! NO, MOM!! OH GOD THEY'RE BACK!! AHHHHH!!! I'M RUBBING THEIR BELLIES, OH GOD!!! HELLL-" >A panicked Auntie stares at mom as she goes back to her paper >"Oh don't give me that look, he'll be fiiiine. C'mon..don't worry." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hey. Cupcake." >"Friggin'..rise and shine dere, lazybones." >"AND I FRIGGIN' SWEAR, ANONYMOUS, I SEE YOU WEARIN' DAT DAMNED SKINS' JERSEY AGAIN, YA GOIN TO DA MOON." ======================================================================================================================================= https://derpibooru.org/567678 >"Anonymous, I've another assembly to hold this afternoon. Best behavior, please." >'Mom, I'm surprised. When have I ever NOT been on my best behavior?' >"The most recent assembly comes to mind, sweetheart." >'Mmm yeah, comes on my mind alot, too, mom.' >"You know perfectly well what I meant, Anonymous. You WILL be in attendance and you WILL be seated amongst your peers and NOT tongue deep in my backside." >'Why do you hate fun, mom.' >"W-WE EMBRACE FUN IN ALL FORMS, NEPHEW, M-MAYHAPS YOUR FAVORITE AUNT IS OVERDUE FOR A REAR LICKING AS WELL!" >'See? Auntie's a team player.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Good afternoon, students, Principal Celestia reminding you to vote for princess of the fall formal!" >"Sunshine, hi! Care to cast a ballot?" >'W-we would not be against you putting it inside our box, nephew.' >"Lulu, please." >'Sister, we are just as much woman as thou and we haveth our needs just the same!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh, I'm so excited! My most gifted protoge' and my son! Finally!~~" >'...Mom, you realize I only agreed to this date because she threatened to end all universes in existence, right.' >"Nonsense, she may be a little..neurotic, but she's a good girl. Her brother says she's a good kisser, too, hubba hubba, right?~" >'SICK.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh stop, sweetheart, we were lookers then but now we're just two old ladies." >'..What?' >"Mhhmm, we might as well move to Phoenix and drive a golf cart everywhere." >'You're joking, right? You two? Not gorgeous anymore?' >"Oh Luna, isn't he a sweetie, trying to make us feel better." >"You needn't attempt to raise our spirits, nephew, we've accepted our fate as spinsters." >You can't believe what you're hearing >Mom & Auntie's senior pictures were beyond supermodel tier, and even now nearing middle age they still turned heads >"No doubt you'll want to move out, get a girlfriend. *sniff* Oh, my little ray, you grew up too fast." >'The fuck? NO! Stop this, neither of you are 'old'.' >Mom & Auntie look surprised and blush >"Y-you charmer, you." >'Stop this sillyness, the both of you.' >Mom&Auntie_tittysandwhichhug_anonfilling.png >What a good feel, Anon >Your Mom & Aunt must've been feeling insecure about their looks for some reason and you eased thei-, and they both have their hands in your pants >'Why do I always fall for this.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"..I uh..I thought we had that talk about personal space, Twilight." >'I-I'm behind the glass, Anonymous.' >"That's a sneeze guard you got from I don't know where, and the restraining order specifies that 'behind the glass' is not 100 ft away." >'I c-can't wait until your mom is my mother in law..' >"Fucks sake." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Well, I have some good news and bad news." >She explains as you rest your back against her. >"The good news is that the humanization spell seems to have worked. The bad news is that it seems your Auntie Luna got the proportions wrong." >"Apologies my sister and nephew. Tis 'my bad' as they say." "Don't worry about it you two. Besides... I don't really mind that much. It's pretty comfy here anyway." >You feel your mom hold you in a hug, especially feeling her very large breasts pressing against the top of your head. >"Oh sunshine..." >Today was a your mom became huge and insisted on being your pillow kind of day. ======================================================================================================================================= >"P-pardon me, Anonymous-kun, but, m-may I study with you?" >'Huh? Oh, uhh su-..Mom?!' >"Shhh, sweetheart, I'm just an ordinary student, a-and you're my sandpie~." >'I think you mean senpai.' >"FUCK MY URETHRA PUSSY, SENSEI." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom! Mom, look!" >"Dad's home!" >and I've brought more whor---I mean maids for you to fuc- I mean rap- uh ravag-shit I mean you know what yea fuck. I deal with your mother later >"T-that's nice, dad, but um..we're they out of pony & minotaur wenches?" >Dad smiles >'Atta boy, variety IS the spice of life. Say no more, champ, I gotcha next time.' >buddychrist.png >"WILL YOU STOP BRINGING MY OUR SON WHORES!" >Mom storms out of the room >Dad sighs "Alright girls, you heard the old lady, all ashore what's goin ashore, back to the slave trader." >'H-heeey um, dad..do they HAVE to go back right now? I figure since they're already here, it couldn't hurt to have them..tidy a thing or two in my room.' Okay I just realized something. Why does his dad have to keep bringing him New Slaves. What exactly is anon doing to them that he requires a constant stream of new whores. >"Sauron, I've come to terms with our son owning whores, after much, MUCH therapy, but why do you constantly need to have new ones brought over? And for that matter what keeps happening to the old ones?" >"No idea honey bunches, you'd have to ask him. I'd just be careful, i he really needs new ones all the time I don't want to imagine what he does to the old ones." >Celestia's face blushed as well contorted into slight disgust. >"And that's why I don't think about it." MEANWHILE >"So we;re really free to go?" "Yeah, just keep quiet about how you got free and stay away from the castle, I can't get grounded again." >"THANK YOU THANK YOU TH-" >You shove a hand over the girls mouth quickly to shut her up. "Yeah yeah I get it, now get out of here." >The girls all nod before shuffling off from the secret passage connected to your room. >When the last girl left you sighed and closed the wall. >Grabbing a chair, a comic, a mix tape marked "Sexy Noises" and your boombox you pop the tape in and let it play as you kick back and start where you left off in "Deadpony" #164. "Dad really needs to stop doing that to innocent girls, it's getting aggravating to have to keep freeing them all behind his back..." ======================================================================================================================================= >"No. No, no, and more no." >'Anonymous, please, it's just one date and it would really solidify bonds between our two nations.' >"Ah goddamnit, fine..when will she be here?" >'You should be able to tell when the ground starts shaking..' >"What?" >'Nothing!- Oh look, here she is now. Anonymous, meet Princess Tumblrina Hamplanet.' >"Heheheh leds meg bebiez, luverboi :DDD" ======================================================================================================================================= >"RISE WITH THE DAY, SUNBEAM!" >'Ahhhh!! What the fuck?!..Mom?' >"VERILY, NEPH-..SON. TIS I, MOMMY DEAREST." >'What's got you breaking out ye olde caps lock voice, 'mom'.' >"NO SPECIAL OCC-..pardon. No special occasion, son of mine. Whatsay we venture down to the dining hall for our morning intake of nutrients!" >'...Breakfast?' >"YE-, yes." >'I'm game'. You say, hopping on Auntie's back >"YEEGADS, ANONYMOUS! The body is willing, b-but out here in the open?" >'What, mom? This is how we alllways~ go down to have breakfast, remember?' >She was still such a silly horse for an eons old demigod >Before this mask, she'd previously dyed her mane and painted her coat white >"Good morning, Prince Anonymous, and to you as well Your Highness" A maid greeted >"Y-YES, IT IS I, THEE HIGHNESS. YOU ARE TO SAY NOTHING OF WHAT YOU ARE SEEING BEFORE YOU, SERVANT!" >'C'mon Auntie~, we should get there before mom kills the first two tables of food.' >"Ofcourse! SISTER WILL UNDOUBTEDLY RAVAGE THE BANQUET LIKE A STARVING ZEBRICAN FOAL!" >"DAMN THIS MASK TO TARTARUS, DO SISTERS EYES HAVE THEIR OWN ZIPCODES, WHY ARE THEY SO FAR APART!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh my word-, ANONYMOUS! Officer, what did he do?" >'Well gosh golly gee ding dang dong, you just lemme rattle off the laundry list of transgressions this bad news bear has commited, dontcha know!' >Anonymous stands nearby with his hands cuffed in front of him, trying not to laugh >"Hush, Anonymous, this is no time for jokes." >'Mom, please, Governor Ventura is about to tell you all the baaad things I did.' >'Mhmm!-HEY! DISRESPECTING THE ACCENT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! *ahem* Loitering in a no loitering area, square dancing in a roundhouse, cattle wrestling, excessive petting in public, the attempted petting of an OFFICER!' >'Why gee willikers, it's enough to make ya go bonkers!' >Anonymous bursts out laughing >"STOP, OH GOD, STOP!! IT HURTS-,MY FUCKING SIDES!" >'THAT'S INSULTING AN OFFICER, BUB!' ======================================================================================================================================= "Are you sure this is going to work Rarity?" >"Of course. The way I hear it, Anon has maids going in and out of his room all day. And you know what that means." "... it means he has a messy room?" >"Oh for- Twilight, darling, you may be book smart but you are street dumb." "Hey!" >"I'm just saying it because I love you like a sister. But no, it means he can't keep his hands off maids. And once he sees you, well let's just say he'll be eating out of the palm of your hand." "Right, right. But why are you dressed up too?" >"What? Oh no reason- moral support for you I mean. Now we just need to keep a low profile so no one susspects we shouldn't be here." "Right, I can do that." >>"Hey you two." >A guard calls to you both. "I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!" >"Smooth darling." >>"Okay, anyway you two get to the prince's quarters." >"Both of us? Oh my..." >The guard escorts you both to his room. >This is it! >The door opens to reveal his room in a mess, with his clothes strewn everywhere. >>"Try to get it clean by the time his highness returns." >The guard leaves. >"So I guess he does need maids to clean his room. I never thought the prince would be so messy." "He normally isn't." >"How do you know?" "Well, when I sneak into his room after he leaves, to rummage through his clothes it normally looks fine." >"What?" "It isn't my fault. He keeps moving his underwear so I can't find them." >"You're an idiot." >"Anonymous, sweetheart, are you in he-" >'MMMM OH STARS ABOVE, YESSSS' >Twilight is rolling around in a pile of Anon's dirty laundry >Rarity is rating the princes wardrobe >'Oh how ghastly, does Guy Fieri dress him?' >"*AHEM*" >'PRINSHESS?!' Twilight says with a mouthful of boxers >Rarity pretends to be doing maid stuff >'Ehhh no speaka, I just..um...lemon pledge?' >"That's quite alright, Maria, you're new, but Twilight here should know better. I'm very disappointed in you. No Good Princess points for you." >'B-but that's..r-..r..REEE!!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Nonny! How am I supposed to work this thing without fingers?!" "I don't know, I kinda thought you'd be able to use your magic!" >"Well niether my magic or my hooves are working on this "SMART" phone and-" *BEEP BEEP* >"I SWEAR IF THIS THING BEEPS AT ME ONE MORE TIME!" "Mom please calm down, that cost three hundred bits to bu-" *BEEP* >"ARRRRRGH!!!" "MOM NO!" >Celestia chucks the phone out a window, a beep slowly fading into the distance as it falls from the mountain side. >Meanwhile in a corner Luna is on level three thousand of candy crush on her smartphone smirking. >"Oh dear sister, I will ever love you, but you are still such a normie." I hope she never has to stay on the line with customer service. >"Anonymous, I can not make heads or tails of what he's saying." >'That's because the 'local at&t branch' he's at is probably over in poo in loo dot dot durka durka land, mom.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Grrrr, you monster, Lunesta!" >'You cannot defeat me, Cholesterol!' >"...Why can't this palace ever just see a normal wednesday, that's all I want to know." >"Anenome! Watch out, Auntie Lupus has gone nanners!" >'Cease thy venemous prattling, Confucious!' >"I'm taking the chewy chips ahoy and pretending I didn't see this. Don't have too much fun." >"Good idea, Obnoxious!" >'There is no corner of this palace you can hide in, Analysis!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"I know she's got those double stuffed oreos in here somewhere.." >You're going through mom's drawers in her office when in your sugar jonesin' haste, you inadvertently press a button >The painting on the wall behind you flips around to reveal a screen >Your mom soon appears on screen >"Anonymous, my son..." >"If you're watching this, it can only mean YOU ARE IN VERY BIG TROUBLE, MISTER. MOMMY'S OFFICE IS NOT A PLAYGROUND." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, kind of uh..at a crucial point in the game here, can't really paus-" >'I understand. M-my boys growing up and-..and he's not going to have as much time for his mother anymore.' >"You KNOW that's not the ca-MMphhfhx" >She's got her tits pressed up against your face in a hug >'Lord no, let him stay my baby for a while more!' >Oh god why does this feel so right >you start sucking moms right tit >If she lactates you will just be fucking floored, bro >TA DA, GUESS WHAT? >"Ooh? Oh my~ Yes, mama's got her boy back, doesn't she." >'Mhhm.' You say, mouth clasped around her nipple >"..Sunshine, how do you play this game." >'Prehh exsh hu shoot, mom.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'm in love, Principal Celestia~" >'Hey, congratulations, Twilight! I knew that shimmer girl would come around!' >"W-what? No, I'm in love with Anonymous." >Mom irishes up the coffee in her 'worlds hottest mom' mug you got her ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'm really glad we did this, mom. We're both long overdue to get out of the palace." >Dick dick dick anon's dick >'Mhhmm.' >"Why didn't you ask Auntie to join us, though?" >And share your dick? You trippin' >'Oh, um..s-she's washing her mane tonight! Something suddenly came up! George Glass!' >"...Yeah that sounds like Auntie. Ah well, next time." >I love my sister like a bro-..sister, but I love your dick more, sunshine >"Mmm, I'm about ready for desert, how bout you?" >'Oh..I could eat~' >YEP, MOMMYS GOT A HANKERIN FOR SOME CREME FRAICHE ABOUT NOW, YA DIG >"Scuse me, may I see a dessert menu-UUUUUUUUU!!" >Mom winks at you from across the table >Well, you commend her for showing this much restraint, she usually never lasts past the appetizer >"Umm c-can you also bring me the hardest cider you have, please?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Is that you, Prince Anonymous? Is this me?" >'Who said that?' >'WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!' ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Twilight Sparkle. >And you are in acting plan 425. >AKA: Operation Clothes Swap. >This will cause Anon to see you in a more possitive light since you are wearing Principal Celestia's clothes. >Also, since she is wearing your clothes he will in turn like you more because of association the next time you wore them. >It's science, don't question it. >Here he comes! >"Hi mom... and Twilight..." >He called you by name! >Definitely an improvement. >"Notice anything different sunshine?" >"Yeah, I like the skirt but th he shirt just doesn't suit you." >"It's not too short?" >"No, I like it." "What about me?" >He looks you over. >"You look rediculous. A pantsuit, really? You should dress more your age. Anyway, love you mom, I gotta go." >He kisses her cheek and leaves. >It should have been you. "Well we still learned some valuable data. Time to start planning for 426. I suppose you'll want your clothes back." >"Go a head and keep them, I think I'm going to get done more skirts in my wardrobe." >She walks off with a spring in her step, humming a tune. >Maybe she won't notice of you don't return her underwear your wearing too. >You hope you'll grow into her bra size. >It is time for plan 426 where- >Is that Principal Celestia and Anon? >Why is she still wearing your clothes? >"So you don't think this is too revealing?" >"No mom, I think it's fine." >She then undoes the top few buttons of the blouse, revealing her ample cleavage. >"How about now?" >"I think it's just the right amount of revealing now." >Oh my... >Is it just you, or is it getting wet in here? >You think that's what the other kids say, they don't cover dirty talk in biology or even sex ed. >"Shall we get going then?" >"I'll be there in a second sunshine. I just need to take care of something quick." >She's coming over by you. >"It's not nice to eavesdrop Twilight." "I-I wasn't eavesdroping." >"Lying isn't any better dear." "I'm sorry." >"That's alright dear. And why don't you forget all these plans. Why don't you just go up and ask him out. Guys like confidence, it lets them know you're interested. Plus you can always show a little more skin if that doesn't work." >She leans in and kisses your cheek. >"Something to think about sweetie." >She walks away with confidence in each step. >Okay... it's definitely wet in here. >No- that is just you. >Twilight takes her advice >confidently walks up to Anon in the halls >shoulders through other girls in her way >kisses him deeply >"..Uh, Twilight, what the f-?" >'Heh, t-this is me being confident..' >All of a sudden someone shouts "THAT'S RAPE, MAAAN!" >Treehugger stands leveling an accusing finger at Twilight >'W-what? NO!! I like hi-' >"RAPE RAPE RAPE!!" The hippy bleats and blows into her woodcarved rape whistle ======================================================================================================================================= >"How'd Princess Dorklight's dinner for her reformed friend go, mom?" >'Predictable.' >"Chh, what'd she do this time?" >'Left me at the table with a mule, a mute, and a muffin.' ======================================================================================================================================= "Hey mom I- MOM WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU!" >"Oh, hello sunshine. I'm sorry you have to see me like... this." "Mom, what happened? Why do you look like that?" >"Well, I wanted to be a true mother to you so you could have an actual human mother. But it seems the spell wasn't right." >Twilight frantically looks through a pile of books around her. >"I can fix this, I can fix this." >"Oh sweetie I'm sorry I'm a monster." >She starts to cry. "Don't cry mom, I still love you." >"You-you do? Even though I'm a... freak?" "Stop that! You're my mother and I love you no matter what." >She wipes a tear from her eye. >"Thank you sunshine. I love you too." >She gets up and hugs you against her huge breasts. >Maybe her staying like this wouldn't be so bad. ======================================================================================================================================= >You bury your face in your mom's fluffy chest >Celestia enjoys it at first, giggling a little >Until she notices you pushing her to the side >Surprised, she falls on her side and rolls over so she's resting on her back >You're still clinging to her, resting your head on her fluffy chest >She's a little surprised at first, but is okay with it >A few minutes later, she hears you snoring >You will never use Momlestia's fluffy chest as a pillow ======================================================================================================================================= >MY GOD THIS IS INCREDIBLE. >IS MOTHER'S DAY! >YOU ARE CELESTIA! >YOU ARE A MOM! >Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! >At the moment you come out of your rooms, ready to start the day. >You cannot help having a little pep in your step. >It is already morning, but seeing as maids work his, that must mean your child is already working. >Already working and this early, just like his mother! >Coming to the kitchen, you take your favorite mug and are on your way to the royal coffee. >Ready for your surprise! >eeeeeee- -crash- >Ceramic pieces go flying everywhere. >It cannot be. >Turning to your right, you realize that your cup imploded. >Parts of your magic are still holding the cup shattered. >Good. >By directing your steps, you walk into your cup storage. >Opening the shelf to discover ... >A small box with a ribbon on it. >Levitating it to you, also a small note above it. >Your heart is more than cheerful. >This is your baby's gift for you. >No more waiting, you take the letter and begin gamely to read. "Beloved mother I wanted to give you flowers, but then discovered that you ate them >You cannot help it, they were Moon Sparkles. >Your weakness. >Still remember as he weep for that fact. >You cannot stand to see your baby mourn. Then I wanted to give you a meal, but I'm not a good cook >The eggs were a bit salty and charred. >But intention accounts. >You swear that to this day, have something stuck between your teeth. Pass through the stage of stylist and then I discovered the magic of hair >That day was funny >His skin turned to a bright rainbow color >He had to wear sunglasses to sleep for 2 weeks And finally, I wanted to make a party, and we know how it ended. >BUCKING PINKAMINA DIANA PIE! >DAMN HER AND HER LICORICED PASTRY ! >Delicious, mouth watering, alcoholic and extremely big pastry ! >All you remember is the dawn next to your child the next day >A spell of deep nap and one million napkins served to clean up lipstick >Trying to remove your flush, continuous reading But now I have taken another approach, Working with you, I discovered several things and thanks to them, achieve devise a good gift. I hope you like it. Love, Anon. P.S. There are cake in the refrigerator and coffee is freshly ground >Opening your gift, discover something. >You've always wanted to show off. >I think today, today is the day you start. ======================================================================================================================================= >"YOUR TIME SPENT DAYDREAMING ABOUT PRINCE ANONYMOUS FINGER FUCKING YOU THROUGH YOUR PRETTY PINK PANTIES ARE OVER, PRIVATE SPARKLE!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, sweetie, not at the table." >'D-don't stop, Nephew!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Have fun, sweetheart! Mommy's going to find parking and she'll join you soon!" >You and your friends clamber out of the car with all your beach gear >"Don't miss me too much k?" >You stick your head in the drivers side window and kiss her on the cheek >"K, love you, mom." >Turning back around you find your friends expressions in various states of disbelief and euphoria >"..What? I love my mom, alright?" >'Y-your mom's hot, dude.' >"I know." >Momlestia will never let you put your dick between her bikini clad tits while as she laying down on a towel on a sunny day >She will never look down from her sunglasses and unhook her bikini to make it easier "Can you make it fast sweetie? Mommy is trying to get a tan. Oh and please don't get it on my glasses it took a long time to clean it last time." >You will never start pushing your dick up between her breasts. You will never feel how warm and squishy they are between your member. >Mom will never sneak a lick when you get close to her mouth. >After 5 minutes you start to feel the familiar pressure and you tell her that you are close. >She will never take off her sunglasses and say points towards her nose. >"Right here honey" she says with a delicate smile. >You will never shoot your baby goo on your royal mother's face. >She will never put her sunglasses back on while your cum is on her face. >"Don't worry sweetie I will take a shower after my tan. Also, I think your aunt needs back massage~~" >Gosh you love the beach >That crisp sea breeze, warm warm sun >And oiling up your mom & aunt's butts >Shit, if looks could kill >You're all smiles right now, giving nods to beachgoers whose stare lingers too long >"Now get our fronts, sweetie." >"Do be diligent, nephew, you know how the sun is murder upon our fair skin." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh sunshine, weren't your auntie and I positively evil?" >'Again, I think the two of you may be confused as to what that word means.' >"Nephew, surely you witnessed the aghast expressions and heard the lamentable cries of the public?" >'Auntie, that was them laughing at the two of you.' >"..Laughing in terror, correct?" >You could waste breath explaining to them that making ice cream cones bigger and raising the sun later isn't exactly evil >But the two of them deserve to have fun >"Yes, Auntie, out of laughter. Shit, you and mom were scarier than an ice cream sundae with no cherry." >"OH MY WORD, ANONYMOUS, DON'T EVEN JOKE LIKE THAT." >"Or whip cream, mom." >"ZOUNDS, NEPHEW, DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS DEVILRY ANY FURTHER!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia and Luna are very VERY old and they tend to go a little bit crazy once every couple hundred years. >"Anon, please just put up with them for a while. I can promise you citizenship and bits in the bank at the end of it all." "When does it end? Has anyone ever escaped it?" >"Well... let's just say that I wasn't ALWAYS her "dearest and most faithful student". >Oh god, you're going to get diddled by a giant alabaster horse-god. "What... exactly were you?" >>"She was my cutest and most precious Twi-Twi" >CHRIST >oh god where did she come from?! >Twilight's not looking much better; she looks awfully nervous right now. >She's visibly sweating. >"Oh! Oh, hello Celestia!" >Celestia adorns a strict (yet somehow caring) expression; angry eyebrows and frowny face and all. >>"Twi-Twi, what have we said about discussing the early days of our apprentiship?" >Twilight looks like she's about to pee the carpet like a scared puppy. >"N-no! Please don't put me in the time-out corner again!" >Luna (AKA Mom #2) leaps into the scene, looking angrily at her sister. >>>"Nopony puts Twilight in a corner!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Anon. >Sitting in class, teacher going on about- >"Will Anonymous please report to the Vice Principal's office immediately. Anonymous to the Vice Principal's office immediately, thank you." >The P.A. box calls out. >The rest of the class goes 'oooo' like you're in trouble. >With a sigh you ignore them, gather your stuff and leave for your aunt's office. >All the while wondering what you did. >You arrive at her door and knock. >"Anonymous?" >Her voice calls out from behind the door. "Yeah..." >"Come in and close the door." >You shrug and do as you're told. >And she's standing there in her underwear. "Uh... Aunt Luna? You're kinda... not dressed." >"Yes, please allow me to explain. You see, your mother decided that during my afternoon nap she would play a prank on me and take my clothes." "I can see that. So why did you call me?" >"I need you to either go and get my clothes from your mother's office or get me some new clothes from somewhere. Needless to say I cannot remain like this." >She gestures to herself. >"If you decide to go out to get me some clothes, I will write you a pass so you can return home and get me something from there. However, the mall is closer. I would give you money of course." >She gets her purse. >"So will you help me?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"FUCK MY URETHRA PUSSY, SENSEI!" >'Auntie, quit leaving your chinese comics lying around, you know how suggestible my mom is.' >"Ohaiyo, Anonymous-kun, m-maybe you want to leave a deposit in my safe box?" >'Can it wait til after breakfast?' >"I WANT TO TASTE THE LEGENDARY PENIS THAT KILLED A WATER BUFFALO IN HIS HOMELAND!" ======================================================================================================================================= This kind of gives me an idea about mom being especially selective and picky about whom she chooses to babysit Anon in her absence. >"Sweetie, anypony in particular you like?" >'..I like Miss Rarity, mommy. She's pretty.' >"NO. WHORSE." >'W-what about Miss Fleur, her and Mr. Pants are always nice to me.' >"THAT COLT CUDDLER AND HIS SUGAR MARE? LIKE FUCK I WILL, ANONYMOUS." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Care to join me sunshine." "I don't know mom. I think I'm too big for that." >She gasps and turns away. >"My own son is too old to take a bath with his mother. I'm an embarrassment to him." "I never said that. I literally mean that I think I'm too big for that. As in physically." >She looks at you then at the tub. >"Oh... I believe I see your point. I shall order a larger tub as soon as my bath is over." >"Maybe even one large enough for three." >You hear a voice say from the closet. >You open the door and see Twilight inside, covered in towels. "Twilight..." >"What? Where? This isn't my closet. Oh, why hello Prince Anonymous." >She says in mock surprise. >You just turn and walk away. "Enjoy your bath mom." >As you leave, you catch part of their conversation. >"You know, if you would have remained silent he might have gone for it." >"I'm sorry, just the thought of a big bath with everypony- I couldn't help it." >"It's alright Twilight. Now can you pass me my duckie please?" >"Y-yes Princess." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Alright, Twilight, I'll help you, but mostly out of pity..I hate to think I'm somehow deceiving my son here." >'T-thank you, Principal Celestia. I wouldn't say it's deceitful either, m-more like uh accidentally misleading.' >"Knock knock, you wanted to see me, mom?" >"Yes, c-come in, sweetheart. I wanted to ask you if you'd do me a favor and accompany Twilight on the freshman welcoming committee." >"..Can I have a word please, mom- Twilight, would you please give us the room for a minute." >"Sweetheart, please? For mommy?" >Mommy >Right in front of a grinning and sweaty Twilight >"Fine, mom. I'll do it." >"Thank you, my sunshine. Oh, h-here, take a ten so the two of you can stop by the snackbar if you get hungry." >You roll your eyes and take the bill >Mom winks at Twilight >"Blaah fuck, alright, Twilight, let's go. Thanks for the ten, mom." >"Have fun you tw-, I mean um do a good job!" >"Alright, love you mom." >'Heheh, alright Principal Celestia, thanks! Love you, mom!' >You stop dead >"...What the fuck." >Mom sighs and brings her thumb & forefinger to the bridge of her nose >"Twilight, WHY." ======================================================================================================================================= >It's take your son to work day at Celestial Holdings & Acquisitions >"Can mommy put you down so you can walk like a big boy?" >'Mhhmm' You idly mumble with your head still on her shoulder playing with her hair >"There's mommys big man. Let's go, sweetheart, I just know everyone will love you." >The two of you begin walking through the bustling cubicle maze going to mom's office >"Good morning, Ms. Celestia!" Her secretary Minuette chirps >"Oh my word! Is this him, Anonymous? He's adorable!" >You smile and hide behind your mom >"Aww, there's no need to be bashful now." Mom says trying to coax you out from behind her >Minuette leans down holding a sucker >"Would you like one? There sugar free, ofcourse!" >Hmm, candy without sugar? Eh, free is free, you think >You wearily leave the safety of moms leg-fort and approach her to take the candy when you notice you can see down her shirt since she's leaned over >She has a tattoo of a smiling tooth holding a flaming brush on her right tit >You sieze the candy, giggling out a thank you and using your cuteness to your advantage as you turn around and hold your arms out for a hug >"You are just so cute aren't you! He's so affectionate, Ms. Celestia." >"Yes, my sunshine is definitely a hugger. Come now, Anonymous. Thank you, Minuette." >The two of you start back on your walk >"Good morning, Ms. Celestia, Young Mr. Anonymous." >"Hello, Fleur. Anonymous, say hello to Ms. Dis Lee." >You notice she's wearing nearly the same business 'casual' attire as mom, with a healthy amount of bust showing >You put on a big smile and take her hand, planting a wet 6yr old kiss on it >"Anonymous, silly." Mom playfully chides >"Oh think nothing of it, Ms. Celestia, it's refreshing to see such a boy grow into a proper young gentleman." >She leans down bringing her cleavage to eye level >"Merci beaucoup, monsieur genre~" She says kissing your cheek >Fleur walks away with a wave and a wink >Your blushing like crazy touching your cheek where she kissed you >"Hubba hubba, huh, sunshine?" >Once again continuing on the way to moms office, you approach the hall where the rest of the high ranking chairs have their offices >"..D-do any other prett-..nice ladies work here, mommy?" >As if on cue, heads start poking out doors >"Oh my gosh, Ms. Celestia, is that your son?" >"Yes, Ms. Moondancer, this is my son, Anonymous." >"Ms. Celestia brought her son?" Comes from another open door >"Oh my gosh, yes, Lemon Hearts, Twinkle Shine, he's so cute!" Moondancer squees >These stacked office hotties tower over you like amazons >"Watch out girls, my sons a hugger." ======================================================================================================================================= >"And thats how Hescartes theorem functioned in regards to the basic laws of magic, Twilight." >Purple dork >Bitch u dont live here, stop hogging my mom and eating my oreos >"Mommy?" >'One moment, Twilight. Sweetie, mommy is in a tutoring session, can it wait?' >"Oh..s-sure. I j-just wanted to show you something I drewed for you today.." You say, as you begin lowering your hand with the drawing in it >Mom takes it from you and brings a hand to her mouth, her eyes glistening >"Sweetie, it's wonderful. E-excuse me for a moment would you, Twilight, I need to frame this." >"Luna! Look what Anonymous drew!" >Now the real battle starts >"..Don't you have a house of your own, Sparkle? You ever think of just maybe, STAYING there, sometimes?" >"Your mother might think that little scribble was Moneigh Lisa material, but the further I progress, the less time she'll have for you." >"It's cute you think that. Say, kiss your brother on the mouth, lately?" >"W-what? IT'S NOT CREEPY, OK, HE'S MY BBBFF!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Oh you're fucking dead, Twiggles." >Mom wakes up a short time later >'M-my apologies, Twilight, I must've dozed off during our lessons.' >Sees Twilight covered in shaming graffiti >"I act like I own the place." >"I draw on peoples moms while they sleep." >"I'm a dork and I smell my own farts." >'Twilight, what happened?' >"Anonymous drew on me and said it'd make me cute!" ======================================================================================================================================= >'Mom, c'mon, stop.' >"Lalalala, I'm not touching youuu~" >'That's real mature, mom.' You say not looking up from your work >"OH? WHAT IS THIS? MERRIMENT AT HOOF AND THE VERY PRINCESS OF FUN WAS NOT NOTIFIED?" >'God no, Auntie, please, tell my mom to s-' >"LALALAL WE ART NOT MAKING CONTACT WITH THEE~" >Now they're both shaking their asses centimeters from your face >This is your Thursday Now when bite your pussy I don't want to hear anything mother! >"Do it. I dare you." >You lick your lips, a light sweat beginning to form on your brow. "I'll seriously do it..I swear I will!" >She wiggles her hind in your face. >"Show mommy she didn't raise a coward then. Bite it. Cross the line of our relationship." >Your breathing becomes sporadic, as shaking palms grasp her plot. >She gasps lightly, and flinches. >"Cold..." >A lump in your throat struggles to go down, as you close in on her regal sex. >Momlestia starts to breathe a little harder observing you closely, as you lightly touch her with your tongue. >"Mnh.." >As if you were lapping up pudding, you try to slide as much of her into your mouth. >"Anon..Are you sure about this...Ah!" >Your firm sucking and nibbling confirms your resolve, as pink flesh pokes through her opening. >"Oh my--Anon! Bite it harder honey!" >She presses back against your fa- ~~~~~~~~ >You quickly slip the book back under Anon's mattress. >What did you just read?! >Anon fantasizes about bedding you? Since when did your sweet little boy look at you as a mare to be courted? >You use an extended wing to wipe some sweat from your horn. >"HEY MOM! HOW'S IT GOING?!" >You nearly jump out of your own skin at the loud greeting from behind. "S-sunshine! I-I was just looking for you!" >"In my room? You know I go for a walk in the garden around this time..." "O-Of course! It must've slipped my mind..I must be going now!" >You gallop off without giving your son the chance to talk, praying he doesn't see your winking along the way. >Wonder how long has he been writing erotica about you? >A better question. >Do you see him as a suitor, or a son? "It was the most surreal thing Luna! I couldn't believe what I was reading! I mean---Anon and me?" >You stare into your cup of tea, as Luna nods sipping hers eloquently. >"Tis not that odd sister." "You don't think so?" >Luna shakes her head placing the tea cup down. >"It is natural for one's young to have dreams, and desires to please one close to them. Why I bet there were a few pages in there about myself!" >She giggles, as you ponder the things you read. >Luna is eyeing you as if she's expecting some sort of confirmation. "He desperately wants to cross that line with me Luna. I-I've watched over him from a tender, bright-eyed child into this adolescent young human. Part of me could never dare to take such steps, but another part of me--" >Luna cocks an eye. "I somewhat am curious as to how such an experience would feel. It'd be something I've never felt before in all my long years of life." >"I think you should explore it." "Luna!" >She puts a hoof up. >"Now hear me out. You're not related by blood, so it wouldn't be of any consequence." "Luna! I'm his mother!" >She rolls her eyes. >"No. You are merely his guardian. You ave yourself this "mother" title." >You can't believe what you're hearing from your younger sister. >"Besides. He has become quite strapping. I may try something myself soon." >She licks her lips tauntingly looking away. It burns you all the way to your core. "No! I won't allow any sort of--of---"Horseplay"!" >Luna stifles a chuckle. >"I wasn't being serious sister, but from the look on your face you seem to be considering it. Maybe a late night visit is in order?" >You bang your hooves on the table. "You jest too much Luna. This Tea party is over." >"Aww. Come now Celie. It was just a joke!" >You get up, and stomp out of the study, leaving a laughing Luna behind. >"Oh. Hey ma! How're you?" >In the Hallway Anon waves at you from down the corridor. >"Are you free? Can I talk to you?" >Your eyes widen, as you take off running, >Sometime later, after fleeing from your adoptive son, you found yourself engrossed in paperwork in your office. >The curse of being the leader of a nation. >At this point, you'd do anything to get out of having to face Anonymous. >That story..it was so-- so lewd! "Gosh. Another dispute between the Yaks and Griffons? I swear they'll do anything to quarrel with one another..." >All they ever do is battle over territory, It's such a bother to constantly have to be the mediator in their little squabbles. >NOK NOK. "Come in." >You don't even look at the door. It's probably Luna coming to tease you again. >"Ma...?" >You skin runs cold, and you can feel your mane change colors. >A certain green human quietly slides in shutting the door behind him, a look of concern dotting his face. "ANONYMOUS?! Wh-What are you doing here?! I-I'm busy with work!" >He frowns not coming any closer. >You gulp. >"You've been avoiding me all day mom. I just want to know why-" "I don't have time for this Anon! M-Mommy's really busy! I can't spare a moment!" >You turn back to your work, furrowing your brow. >"Did I do something wrong? Are you angry with me?" >You grit your teeth, hearing him come closer. "STOP!" >You look at him with pleading eyes. >Anonymous was only halfway to you, when you stopped him with your canterlot voice. >"M-mom?" "Please. Don't come closer." >You hear him sniffle. >"Do you hate me? Are you tired of me? Should I just leave the castle?" "No! I don't hate you! It's just--" >You hang your head. >"Then what is it? Why can't I come closer to you?" "I--mommy is a bit confused Anonymous. That's all." >Even the word "Mom" seems fruitless to say after reading what you did. >"By what?" >You clear your throat. "I-I saw your book...about me." >You hear a quiet gasp come from his lips. "I...I don't know what to think.." >He starts to get closer again, but you don't lash out this time. You want him to come closer. >His hand comes in contact with your back. "Mnnh." >"What did you think of it..?" >Your breathing is starting to increase. It's almost like a scene out of his book. "I-I was surprised to say the least." >His hand begins to stroke the nape of your back. >"You didn't feel anything else?" "I felt..oh my..I felt hot.." >His hand begins to caress your wings. >"Hot? Is this making you feel hot mother?" "Th-this isn't right Anonymous...we're related--" >"Not by blood mom. I want you. I'm old enough to desire you, and I want you more than anything in this world or the next." >His hand slides under your chin, guiding your muzzle to his lips. "I-if we do this...You can't leave me ever!" >"Forever. Until time ends mom." >Powerful arms wrap around your slender body pulling you closer. >His tongue slides into your mouth,saliva intermingling- >"YOUR HIGHNESS!" >Your head bolts up, a document sticking to your drool covered cheek. >A butler stands next to you with a candle in hoof. "Wh-what happened?!" >"You fell asleep milady. The day has ended, and it's time for the sun to come down. You must be careful not to overwork yourself." "O-of course." >You take the paper off your face, feeling complete shame. >Shouldn't have read that book. >You're so out of it right now. >Bumping into pillars, paintings and Ponies, you name it. >This day has turned your whole world upside down, and you fear that if you speak to Anonymous things will never be the same again. >He knows you as Mother. Not just a guardian. He gave you the opportunity to have a child, despite your inability to give birth to any yourself. >He's so special--no. He's your everything. He's family. >How could a Princess ever subject herself to something like--like-- >Incest? >You lick your lips, allowing your body to move on auto-pilot taking you wherever it wants to go. >But, to say the prospect of ignoring those non-blood related ties, and letting him take you, and doing whatever he wants to you. >Just like in his book- >Burying his face in your dripping backside, swirling his tastebuds all around your opening- >Then pounding you into sexual insanity, releasing his seed deep into your womb, making you scream out in a mega orgasmic Canterlot voi- >"Sister?" >"Hey Ma." >You shake your head rapidly. >Your legs brought you to the Dining Hall, where Luna, and Anonymous sit staring at you. "Oh..O-oh hello.." >"So happy you could join us the eve! I feared you would have gone to bed without any supper!" >Luna grins happily, but Anon looks away, and down at a bowl of soup in front of him sadly. >It tears at your heart to see your son so unhappy, but this is for the best. >Neither of you can have these thoughts, and if you distance yourself from him, maybe he'll forget this silly notion of bedding you. "I-I'm happy I could make it as well.." >You try to curl your unfurled wings back up. >Got a little too riled up. >"Anonymous and I were just talking about his day over his favorite potato soup! Come join us! I'll get a bowl for you as well!" "I-I'm really tired so--" >Anonymous looks up at you with glossy eyes, like a puppy dog, and looks away defeated. "But I have time for maybe one bowl.." >Luna puts her hooves together with a big grin, and clops her hooves together. >This energy is unlike her you think to yourself as you sit directly across from your "son". >You can see a little smile on his face as he plays with his soup with a spoon. >"Tis a lovely evening to share a meal together! Wouldn't you say Anonymous?" >He doesn't look up. >Uh...yeah." >Your chest tightens. >You want to desperately leap over the table and take him in your hooves, and tell him it'll be okay. Stroke him gently, and ki-- >THUMP. >Luna and Anonymous flinch at you thumping your forehead. >"Is everything okay sister?" "YES! It's all fine..All fine. WHERE IS THAT SOUP?!" >A butler pony brings a steaming bowl of soup to you right after your question, and lays it before you. >You take a deep breath, and levitate your spoon into the bowl and up to your lips. >"I-in any case, Anon tells me he's been studying up on writing techniques! Our little one is studying to become an acclaimed author!" >You almost spit-take. >"I-it's nothing really. I-I'm just interested in it.." >"Nonsense! I must know what brought this interest on however-" >You can feel Luna glancing at you. The blue jerk... >Anonymous looks up at you. >"I really don't want to talk about it." >Luna moves from her seat at the head of the table, directly next to your son, and puts a wing around him, and a hoof dangerously close to forbidden areas on his lap. >What does she think she's doing? >"It's okay dearest "nephew". You can tell Auntie anything. She won't judge you." >A flustered look flashes across his face, as your face heats up. "L-luna, perhaps you shouldn't pressure him to talk about it." >She grins at you. >She knows what she's doing. She's trying to anger you. >And it's working. >"It's fine sister. Tis a simple question." >Her hoof moves. >"Au-auntie?" >Your teeth grit. "Luna. I suggest you give him some space. NOW." >Anonymous trembles. >A harsh glare is matched by a smug grin from Luna. >"I-it was two goddesses." >You and Luna both look at Anonymous. >"Two goddesses that picked up a weak, and pitiful lost child, and raised him to the heavens. They protected, and loved him as their own, and no matter what, he'll never be able to repay them." >Luna's smug grins slowly falls. >Your face falls from the previous growing fury. "They fill me with so much love, and pride sometimes I can barely contain it, and it makes me feel weird!" "Anon--" >"Anonymous you--" >He slips out of Luna's wing, and stands up. >"Mom." "Y-yes?" >"I've just wanted to say I appreciate everything you've done, and will continue to do for me, but I've been thinking that perhaps it's time I moved out of the castle." >"WHAT?!" "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!" >You and Luna both shout out in unison. >He rubs his arm. >"Things are changing. With me, and the mood in this castle as I get older...I-it's making me feel uncomfortable, and I can tell you feel the same. I mean you've been avoiding me all day..." >You can hear your heart shatter into a million pieces. >You've been trying to distance yourself from him since you read his story, not thinking of his own feelings. "N-no, I haven't--!" >He sighs. >"You literally ran away from me Mom. I can feel the tension between us-" >Luna rises to her hooves, and throws her forelegs around Anonymous. >"There is no tension between you and I Anonymous! Please think about this!" >Sure. Throw you right under the carriage. >He pulls her off, and steps back. >"I've made my mind up. I want to be out before the week ends." "Son...no.." >"Anonymous please! Can we talk about this?" >He shakes his head, and begins to walk backwards until he does a moving about face leaving the dining hall. >You both watch him silently leave with a booming click of the door. >"Sister..." >Your eyes trail to Luna who isn't even looking to you. "Luna." >"...." "....." >"He shall not leave. I cannot afford to allow him to leave me." "We are in agreement. Family should not be apar-" >"NO!" >She bangs her hooves on the table this time. >Her eyes are slightly red, but no tears are coming out. >"I'm not like you. I do not fear my true feelings, nor will I lie or flee from my inner truth!" >You narrow your eyes. "What are you trying to say?" >"I believe it should be obvious." >An awkward silence befalls the two of you. >"I've seen him as a stallion before your mind could even fathom such a thing." >You gasp. "Luna! This is wron-" >"Don't tell ME what's wrong with your wishy-washy moral compass!" >You clam up. >"There are four days left before he leaves us. I will approach him in three, and then I will take him as mine." >You stare hard at her, wishing you had heat vision. >"Wallow in your confusion if you wish, or ignore him. It makes no sense to me, but you will NOT interfere." >Her eye twitches. "This is..you..I don't--" >Your mind is a flurry of thoughts. >"Goodnight. I must begin Night court. "Sister"." >She snorts, flicking her tail in your direction, and leaves the hall slamming the door behind her. >Your soup stares up at you. "What just happened?" End Part 1 ======================================================================================================================================= >It isn't known wether alicorn sicknesses can infect other species >Doctors insist if Anonymous wear a biohazard suit in his mothers chambers >Mom performs an anti-gravity spell giving him weightlessness >Bounces around mom's room doing spaceman things >"*chh* Mom niner foxtrot, this is ..ray of sunshine, what is your status, over *chh*" >"Oh, isn't that name I picked for you just darling, sweetheart?" >"MOM YOU'RE SPOSED TO MAKE THE 'CHH' SOUND, WE'RE TALKING ON THE RADIO!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh there's you and your Aunt at the zoo." >"Here's all of us at Twilight's coronation." >Mom turns the page >"EGADS, SISTER, OUR BUDOIR PHOTOS?!" >"Woops! Uh, h-hey, is that one of us at The Grand Canyon?" >'G-GO BACK TO THAT OTHER PAGE, MOM.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"All done?" >'Mhhm! Even my broccoli, mommy!' >"That's my little ray, he's going to grow big and strong because he eats his greens. *ahem* LUNA." >Meanwhile at the other end of the table, Auntie goes to town on sweets like a starving zebrican foal >'Can I go play now, mommy?' >"Ofcourse, sweetheart. The guards could use some conditioning exercises about now." >Anonymous is a menacing sight to the mini soldier horses >Flash Sentry is on the ground rocking back and fourth crying >"DAMNIT, SENTRY, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF! THIS IS WHAT WE TRAIN FOR!" Captain Armor shouts >'HI, MR. ARMOR!, MR. SENTRY! YOU GUYS WANNA PLAY WITH ME?' >Shining Armor steps forward, he's staring at a barrel chested 6'4 8 yr old >"P-please, Your Highness, tickle me first and spare my men." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh Anonymous~" >You hear her say in a sing-song voice, followed by a loud explosion. >"Come out, come out wherever you are~" >Another explosion is heard in the distance. "I'm going out there." >"Don't be ridiculous! She could kill you!" >Your mom says distraught. >Twilight went way crazy and magical earlier in the afternoon, and your mom, aunt, and a few students have been hiding from here ever since. "Mom, she wants me. She's probably going to find me eventually. If I give myself up then maybe you and everyone else can get out of here." >She wants to argue with you, but she knows you're right. >You pull her into a hug and kiss her cheek. "I love you mom." >You do the same with your aunt. >You stand and start walking towards the sounds of destruction. >It didn't take long to find her. "TWILIGHT!" >She turns to face you and smiles a deep satusfied grin. >"Oh, there you are my prince." >You have no idea why she keeps calling you that. >She saunters over to you and you prepare yourself for the worst. >"Do you know how many times you've rejected my advances?" "Um-" >"159 times this school year, 432 this year, AND 4,753 times since I've known you!" >Shit... >She's been keeping score. >It sounds really bad when you hear those numbers. >Have you really rejected her that much? >"But no more." >She waves her hand and magic wraps around your body, holding you in place. >"Now I have you right where I want you." >She puts a hand on your shoulder. >"I could destroy you and this school with a thought. But I'll give you one more chance. You just need to go on a date with me and everything will be fine." "Okay, fine." >"No, no, no. You need to ask me out." "Alright... Twilight... will you go out with me?" >She smiles big and wide, letting her magic fall from around you. >"YES, YES, YES!" >She starts skipping around. >"Now we should start with dinner and a movie. But don't worry, I have a coupon book we can use so it doesn't cost to much." >Goddamnit Twilight. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Prince Blueblood, I want you to take a good look at my cup of coffee. Now, I LOVE my coffee. It's probably the only thing I cherish on this gods-forsaken mudball called Equestria. What I'm trying to say, Blueblood, is that you don't want to bother me until I've had a chance to get at least six of these things inside of me. Which will take about one hour--ONE. I don't want to see you, until at least one hour has passed and I can register a detectable pulse. Then, and only then, will I have the patience to listen to whatever penny-ante, low-grade personal problem you're about to bring to my attention, and I promise I will care about it as much as you do. In one hour. But should you bother me again before 59 minutes and 59 seconds have passed, I will strongly consider sending you to cosmic oneness with the Moon. So please, please, give me my hour. Just. One. Hour. One." ======================================================================================================================================= Different guy but are there any greens about mom taking everyday motherly thing and blowing then way out of proportion. For example, only raising the sun when anon is waking up. Making it hotter if he even mention it's slightly chilly. Throwing a kids parents in jail for attempted attack on the crown because their foal pushed anon into the mud. The list goes on >"HEY, YOU!" >'Me, Princess?' >"D-D-D-DID I FUCKING STUTTER, JUNIOR?" >'W-what'd I do, Your Highness?' >"Oh don't give me that innocent act, you PURPOSELY chose to make my son the 'goose' in this game of yours." >"YOU DARE TAKE UP ARMS AGAINST THE PRINCE OF LIGHT AND SHADOW?" >'IT'S A GAME, PRINCESS, A GAME!' >"SO YOU HAVE CHOSEN AND SO YOU SHALL FALL!" >Mom & Auntie go nanners >Again ======================================================================================================================================= I like weird-but-doting aunty Luna. >"Luna, what have I told you about those kinds of presents?" >"BUT SISTER, HOW WILL DEAR NEPHEW COURT A MARE IF HE CANNOT DUEL FOR HER HEART?" >cut to Anon dragging a six-foot claymore by the handle "Look mommy! Imma knight!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hmm, oh, I know." >"..'His strong, dexterous hands found themselves roaming the flesh surrounding her awaiting, glistenin-'..." >Mom sighs >"Can I help you, Twilight." ======================================================================================================================================= "Hey mom, where are you?" >You call out through the empty halls trying to find her. >Because of Mare-morial day most of the staff have the day off. >They work hard, they deserve done time off too. >"I'm walking on sunshine, Whoa-oooh! I'm walking on sunshine, yeah." >Well, looks like you found her. >You start walking to the kitchen, where you heard her and see her dancing and eating cake. >It makes you smile- is that your shirt? >"And it's time to feel good!" >She looks over her shoulder and sees you and stops her singing and dancing, but she still chews her bit of cake. >"Oh... hello sunshine... how long have you been there?" "Long enough. So why are you wearing my clothes?" >"They're so comfy, and plus with these socks I can skid down the hallway." "Fair enough. But auntie is warning up the grill, you're going to spoil your appetite by eating that cake." >"Sweetheart, with your auntie working the grill there will be no mall to spoil my appetite for." "Come on mom, she's bad but not that bad." >Just then your auntie comes running into the kitchen. >"SISTER! NEPHEW! Not to alarm you, but it may be best of we vacate the castle while the fire department handles a fire that I assure you spread through no fault of my own or the grill." >Your mom just looks at you with her 'I told you so' look on her face. >Every damn year, get it together auntie. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, mom! Dad's home!" >'Heeey, tiger! You been good while I was away?' >You shake your head and blurt out 'NNNN-YEAH.' >"Atta' boy. How's mommy" >'Hmm? Oh she's missed you, too. She was like "GRRR AMONYMOUS, I SURE DO LOVE YOUR DAD EVEN THOUGH HE GETS ME MAD, I THINK I'LL EAT ALL THE COOKIES TO COPE WITH THE STRESS."' >"Haha, yeah that sounds like her." ======================================================================================================================================= >Mom stops time and blows a thousand kisses at you >"Honey! How's my perfect little stallion?" "Wah! Oh uh, I'm good mom" >"Are you sure? What's that bandage on your arm?" "Oh i-it's nothing, just a scratch!" >"Nonsense! Let momma kiss it better!" "Mom no!" >"ZA SUNDO!" >"mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa (x1000)" >"Time shall move again!" >the prince flys into the wall as the impact of a 1000 kisses hits his form, leaving him covered from head to toe in lipstick smears *cough* "T-thanks mom" >"Of course! Love you dear!" >your mother happily trots away, seemingly pleased with herself ======================================================================================================================================= >"S-sister, we art violating the sanctity of Anonymous's dreams." >"Oh hush, a quick peek and we'll be gone." >The two walk through the door leading to the prince's dream realm >They're in a lush garden, serene and peaceful beneath the warm sun >"Oh, my sunshine, he's so outdoorsy. I wonder what he could be dreaming of that'd take place out here." >"Ehh..*ahem*, We believe THAT is what he is dreaming of, sister. Right now, at this moment." >"Hmm? OH MY GOODNESS. Lulu, t-that's-" >"It is us, yes." >The two stand staring and unblinking at the scene before them >'Oh mom, auntie, fuck yeah.' >"FILL MOMMY UP, SWEETHEART~" >"WORRY NOT ABOUT BEING GENTLE, NEPHEW, AND DO NOT LET UP ON THE SPANKING." ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'm sorry sunshine. I finally figured out how to turn myself human so you could have a real mom for once. But it seems I got the proportions wrong." >She looks down at the ground, seemingly disheartened. >"I guess I should just revert back and do more research before I try again." "You... you know you don't have to mom. I've always thought of you as my mom, no matter what you look like." >This seems to make her smile. "Besides..." >You feel yourself get a little flush thinking of what you're about to say. "I-I don't really mind or anything. You can stay like this longer of you'd like." >She contently leans down and kisses your head. >"Thank you sunshine. How did I get so lucky to have you as my son?" >Not knowing how to honestly answer her question, you just lab back into her ample chest and smile. "Just lucky I guess." >Just like you. ======================================================================================================================================= >"All those goddamn hussies trying to tempt my son with their inferior vagina's.." >"I WILL FUCKING END YOU!" >Mom realizes she's holding the intercom receiver >"Ehh..t-that was just a test, students. Beeeeeeep. This was only a test." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, t-this isn't the pool at home, we're on a school trip." >"I KNOW, aren't we naughty? Besides, we can just say we're doing water aerobics." >She's holding into the side of the pool with you behind her, arms around her waist >"We're already this far, too, I am NOT going without, sweetie. You wouldn't even touch me the whole drive up here~" She pouts >"Mom, a charter bus full of my peers isn't ideally where I want toooo~~~" >"Hmmm, aaand you're in! Ohh yeaah~" >How the two of you slowfucking in the shallow end of the pool is going unnoticed is a miracle >"Sister, nephew! Are thee game for a match of polo in the water?" >Mom gives her a tell tale smirk, letting out quiet moans and pants >"SISTER, YOU INSATIABLE NYMPH, SHOULD NOT BEAUTY GO BEFORE AGE JUST ONCE?!" >"See? I told you nothing would happen." >You slowly backstroke to the shallow end of the pool to recuperate >Does chlorine kill jizz? Meh, whatever >"You really have to learn to trust mommy more often, sunshine." >'W-will do, mom.' >"Here, sweetie, throw these on mommy's towel, they're annoying." >With your head tilted back still trying to regain coherency, you hold out a hand expecting to get her sunglasses >Weird, this feels like her top >"Oh, much better. I swear, those things are so confining and uncomfortable." She says shaking her now freely swinging tits >'MOM SERIOUSLY.' >You spring forward and grab her in a bear hug >Feeling no resistance from mom you relegate yourself to this temporary position as bikini top >With a sigh you just bury your face in them as mom places a gentle kiss atop your head >'You have too much fun sometimes, mom.' You say, albeit a bit muffled >Aunt Luna splashes the two of you >'OH, SORRY, SISTER, NEPHEW. MUST NOT HAVE NOTICED YOU OVER THERE BECAUSE WE ART HAVING ALL THE FUN IN THE WORLD PLAYING POOL TRIVIA WITH MS. SPARKLE.' >"A-and this was BEFORE the use of vomitoriums, Vice Principal Luna." >'Stars above, grant us the serendipity not to drown this prattling purple nerd...' >"Hey, Twilight, I'm going to borrow my Aunt for a while, but you can keep my mom company, alright?" >Wow, did her pupils just become hearts for a second >As you take your Aunt's hand and help her from the pool, Twilight's already out of the water and pestering your mom >It's like pepe le pew trying to hug that cat he thinks is another skunk >You barely catch the evil eye she gives the two of you as you head for the parks lazy river >Auntie isn't much of a talker, it's as if you and her don't need much words to convey how you feel about things >That's when you pull her close and kiss her cheek >"Oh my." She giggles >"Mhhhmm." You nod >Despite being shorter and of a more petite build, your Aunt was definitely not lacking anywhere >With a single inner tube to share, the two of you get in and begin floating down the waterway >"You are my sunshine as well, dear Nephew." She says lying back on you >Her fingers trace words and outlines on your hand >'NOW' is among them >A cursory look around shows that while you're passing by several other parties on the river banks, there's no one close by in the water >A quick lovebite to her neck lets her know she wont go wanting >Some gentle splashes caused by your rearranging one another is all it takes >She's not as skilled as your mother at keeping a straight face during covert sex though >"A-auntie, c'mon, y-you got that mannequin sex doll face going on, hold it together." >She can't >"Nephew, we shall play this off, worry not!" >Yeah that'll work, a hyperventilating woman with the 'O' face sitting on some guys lap, not suspicious >Yours, however, will be a bit easier to play off, which is a good thing because it's coming soon >"Inside inside inside inside, pleease inside." Your Aunt repeats, this time guiding your hands to her breasts >"Ah fuck~ Hope you got a plan, Auntie cause-" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Aren't the two of us positively evil, sweetheart?" >"The worst, mom." You say with a sigh >That sigh is all you can do to stifle a laugh brought on by how 'evil' there deeds have been >"HA HA! NEPHEW, DIDST THOU WITNESS US ENLARGING THAT FOALS ICE CREAM CONE? OH, THE ENSUING BRAIN FREEZE WILL BE POSITIVELY NEFARIOUS!" >"Shush, Luna, he was obviously more impressed when I went to the 10 items or less line and I clearly had 11." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Thank you for honesty, my little ponies. You too, Mr. Doodle." >They all nod >In a flash of purple aura, Twilight teleports into the room, redfaced and sweating >"Wow, y-you would not BELIEVE how bad traffic is out there, Princess." >"Twilight, please, your ruse is over." >"Huh?" >Cranky scoffs >"It's over, kid. We told her how you paid us each 100 bits to keep her occupied while you raided her son's laundry." >Twilight's mortified stare meets their gazes to confirm >The mute DJ lowers her shades and makes an 'ooh' expresssion >"Mhmm, honesthy ih da beh polishy, Twalot." Muffins says with a mouthful of food >"Twilight, Royal Restraining Orders ARE a thing, you know, and I may have to look into one now." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mommy's stepping out on break, sunshine~" >"I already counted how many cigarettes I have, you know." You call from the couch >"Mhmm, kisses, mommy loves you too~" >Chh, that momma of yours, she's a chain smokin snapple drankin diamond dog bashin- >"Anonymous, have you seen the princess around?" >"She's on break right no-, how the fuck did you get in again?" >Purple Pudge waddles through the palace until she spots Mom on the balcony having her aforemtioned break >"Mmm, Marlboro's..nothing like those cheap ass Maverick-..*ahem* BEHOLD, FAIR SUBJECT- oh, it's just you Twilight." >"How'd you get in again?" >"P-princess, I'm having some technical difficulties with the cutie map and I-" >"Hey. Purple." Mom deadpans >"Do I have a dot dot up here?" She says going cross eyed looking at her horn >"Am I Princess Of Tech Support?" ======================================================================================================================================= >Twilight runs up to the room the mysterious figure took Celesta into. >on the other side of the door she can hear Celesta struggling and pleading for him not to hurt her >twilight then hears celestia screaming and the sound of wet slapping is heard >she runs to a nearby guard and pleads with him to help. >he ignores her >shakes him in a panic as the sounds of Celesta moans of anguish rise. >suddenly the castle shakes then all is silent >the guard sighs as the door to the room swings open and anon and a very exhausted Celesta walk out. >she sees twilight and quickly explains that anon appeared and vanquished the kidnapper. >gullible twilight believes her >she must never know ======================================================================================================================================= >"I am so mature and sensible, sweetheart. I'm like, all the senses-ble and stuff." >'Mom, you're eating an entire cake and reading the paper upside down.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"..'G-gently, Anonymous~' She moaned." >"'Ofcourse, mom, sorry.' He said resuming his brushing of her man-.." >"Can I help you with something, Twilight?" ======================================================================================================================================= >Principal Celestia personally welcomes new female students to Canterlot High >"Good morning, stay away from my son." >"You're going to love it here, go near my son and I'll kill you." >"We offer cheer, band, and a veritable cornucopia of extra-curricular activities, also if you so much as make eyes at my son, I'll make you wish you'd never been born." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Marriage? S-so soon, Anonymous? Oh, ofcourse I'll marry you~!!" >"Our foals will have your looks and my smarts!" >Luna watches over Twilight's dream feeling a mixture of revulsion and pity >"Oh sister, thou owes us big time for this." ======================================================================================================================================= So how would principal Celestia handle a kid who bullied Anon? Especially one that didn't go to get school? >You sit at the dinner table playing with your dinner, that Mom laid out for you beforehand. >Spaghetti. The irony. >This was a mistake. You snitched. You straight snitched on that Norman kid and his friends, but what could you do? They were jumping you every other day after school, and you can only hide the bruises for so long. >Ma said she'd handle it, but this is only going to make things worse. >They're really gonna hammer into you tomorrow. >Click- >Slam- >You look up at the sound of the door opening and closing, and find Celestia entering with a brown coat hanging from her left arm, and black gloves over her hands. "M-mom?" >She looks to you with dark bags under her eyes and a grim expression, which quickly changes to a beaming smile. >"Good evening Sunshine? How is your dinner?" "I-it's alright. What happened with...you know...?" >She tosses the coat onto a nearby armchair, and elegantly approaches you, wrapping her arms around your head. >She smells of juniper, and slight sweat. >Your head is burrowed within her bosom. It makes your stomach tingle in a pleasant way. >"It'll be just fine. No one will ever harm you again baby. I told you I'd handle it, and I did." >You smile, and return the hug. >"Now if you'll excuse me, Mommy has to go shower. Enjoy your food." "Yes ma'am." >She ruffles your hair, and walks away, her heels clicking along the hardwood floor. >You touch your head feeling proud of her and- "Huh. That's weird. When did I get pasta sauce on my head?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh, sunshine, I'm not so sure about this. I don't want to hurt anypony's feelings." >'What? Mom, please, it's for a good cause.' >It's some kind of ye olde faire in Canterlot and you had the bright idea to set up a hoof wrestling booth featuring your ageless demigod mother >All proceeds going to the Ponies Who've Had Their Lives Simultaneously Ruined and Saved By The Elements Of Harmony Foundation >"You're eyes do not deceive you, friends, one bit and you can try your strength against the Princess." >Mom shyly smiles and gives a small wave >"Look at her, wouldn't hurt a fly. So step right up and see if you can best my mom." >'Eeyup. Reckon ah'll try mah hoof at it. If'n it's fer a good cause n' all.' >Big Mac saunters up to the booth, places a sack of bits on the counter, daintily removes on with his teeth and has a seat across from mom >"Very well, Kind Apple, your match is granted." Mom says with a slight nod >With them both in the ready position, you clasp your hands around their hooves to make sure theres no give one way or the other >"GO!" >Nothing happens >Big Mac rolls his eyes >"Heh, ah knew yall was a regular prankster, yer Highness. Tryna' get in mah head with that politeness an such." >"But now, I figure it's time ah-...hnggggg." >"Ah saaaid it's about HNNNGGG..NNNNNEEEEH.." >Mom's stoic expression begins to change to one of concern >"Huh? Oh, it's started? W-we're hoofwrestling right now?" >Big Red is now on the counter, trying with all his might to get her hoof to budge >"Mom, are you even trying?" You ask >"No, this is just me being still. Not even resisting." >Ouch, that guys pride right now, bruh ======================================================================================================================================= >"Look at him in there. The very image of virile masculinity." >Anonymous is eating dinner like a starving ethiopian >'T-this isn't the nature walk I had in mind, Twilight.' Fluttershy stammers >"Human nature is nature just the same, Fluttershy. Now, what've we learned so far?" >'The security light on his patio is m-motion activated?' >"Yes, and?" >'H-his mom is standing right behind you..' >"What? No, let me see those note-" >Mom clears her throat ======================================================================================================================================= >"You're going to have so much fun at work with mommy, sweetheart." >"I brought a few of your hotwheels in my purse and you can watch cartoons on mommy's tablet." >"No doubt you'll be as popular like the last time you came to work with me." >Oh what a day that was >All those women in their tight, business casual wear >everything gets all wavy and flashbacky >"He was having fun in MY office until you stole him, Minuette!" >"Oh grow up, Moondancer. Anonymous wants to have real fun, not read Dilbert and do sudoku." >Back to the present >Mom seems to pick up on this bit of reminiscing >"So popular with the ladies already. We'll have to organize a schedule for you if that keeps up, sunshine~" >'..I like the ladies at your work, mommy, but I really just like spending time with you is all.' >"Oh how darling-, LUNA, ANONYMOUS IS BEGINNING TO TAKE NOTICE OF WOMEN BUT SAYS I'M HIS FAVORITE, ISN'T THAT SWEET?" >"VERILY, SISTER." Auntie answers from the couch downstairs amid a ruckus of videogame noises ======================================================================================================================================= >"Woops! T-this isn't my bedroom at all! Oh sweetheart, please forgive mommy, that last wine cooler must've really done a number on me." >Wine coolers? She sure is a lightweight for being damn near 6'3" >Mom tries to maintain her balance clad in just her bra and panties >'You got a bad habit of doing this, mom.' You say not looking away from your game >'Just barging in here and wanting me to drop everything for you.' >"S-sunshine, no, mommy doesn-" >"Making me want you so fucking bad." You say hitting pause >She WANTS to keep up the oblivious act but she wants this as much as you, too much to stay focused >"Anonymous." She states in a commanding tone >"No more vidya until you fuck me good and cuddle me afterwards." >She takes a flying leap at you on the bed, pinning you down on your back Knowing your go-to places, she frees her tits and begins smothering you with them >"Yes, baby, j-just like when you were little, ah~ oh, my sweet boy." >How she still lactates all these years later is a mystery but so very welcomed You throw your arms around her and keep suckling. Might not even make it to the sex, which is fine >Mom begins stroking your hair and humming 'you are my sunshine' ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Anonymous, same as you were when you arrived here. Same when a certain white mare caressed you in her hooves when you had your nightmares or were hurt from falling or jumping off your bed. >You were now 21, after training in the reserve corps of the Canterlot Royal Guard. You made a promise to your mother that you would see her after you learned how to defend her beautiful kingdom. >Nearly 3 years ago, that was. Her loving, warmed smile was on her face, ear to ear at your nobility to help protect what your mother had built up. >She was still here, last you heard. >Around the second year you heard rumor of Celestia stopping many public appearances, remaining in the castle. >You had begun to train in combat and readiness almost everyday, with very small breaks in between. >Now after all that you were back in the castle walls, still spotting the same two guards who used to keep your room guarded amist the night. >"Anonymous, your mother is in her chambers." The white, portly guard to the left of the throne room muses, sounding like his puppy had died, or he had just suffered heavily. >Your only response was a nod, taking your steps through the castle in a light tone. It was night, and you did not wish to wake anyone who wasn't needed. However, your approach to her door was not the normal one. You felt the impending chaos ahead, and you could feel a cold running through your skin. >Opening the door in her royal wing, you make your way into Celestia's room, your deep voice breaking silence. "Mom..?" You call out softly, seeing a gentle, weak rustle under Celestia's sheets. >A pair of sagged eyelids, accompanying the familiar eyes of the first you could remember sparking shock in your soul. With a glow emanating from her horn, she clicked a lamp on, her skinny, frail body being uncovered by her rear hooves kicking the sheets off gently. >"Anon... Baby..." She said, weaker than ever. >Your heart smashed into bits at that moment, as you walked over and knelt by Celestia's bed as she attempted to move out of it, breathing heavily in shock as you examine your mother. "Please mom, don't get up." You urge, placing your hand upon her hoof. Your eyes watered painfully, tears streaming by the bridge of your nose to your jaw as she smiled, her eyes meeting yours. >"Anonymous honey... You shouldn't have come today..." Celestia urges, worry and care in her voice as she places her hoof on your shoulder. You could only place your other hand on the hoof you commandeered over trying to keep her still. "I don't care, mom... You raised me, and you were there for me. I have to be here as much as I can... You deserve it." >Your mouth moved with shivers and shudders shocking your muscles. Celestia, however, moved her hoof from your hand pulled you into her hooves, holding you as she gave you soft sushes and coos to try and remind you of the good times you had shared with her. >"Honey, you never cease to not amaze me, as strong as you are... I'm glad I saw my sunshine before anything happened..." >You threw your arms around her in that instant, manning up as you held her in your arms, pulling onto her bed as you rested your head on her shoulder. "Nothin's gonna happen, ma..." You said, trying to comfort Celestia. You weren't going to believe it until it was all over. >"Please, Anon, calm down..." Celestia whispered, smiling as her weak body struggled to move as she pressed one of her hooves on the back of your head, rubbing upon your fresh buzz cut hair and whispering softly. "Mom, is that..?" You swore that whispering sounded familiar, as it seemed to be almost from your youngest days. >"A song, about someone who brightened my life up... You are my sunshine, after all..." >You could only let tears flow as you hugged your dearest mother firmly, but not too rough as you couldn't help but sing it with her. >"You are my sunshine, my brightest ray, you give me a better day..." "You are my sunshine, my brightest ray, you give me a better day..." >You could hear your mother sigh, her weak, shrill voice weaker than ever. "I love you, mom..." You muttered. However, you couldn't hear her say it back. >You waited a single second before her neck slowly slumped down, her muzzle softly hitting your shoulder, as you put your head to her chest one last time. >Nothing. "Mom... Mom, don't you fucking do this to me..." You muttered, panicking as you tried to lay her down, placing your fingers upon her nostrils and proceeding with CPR. >This wasn't happening on your watch. >But it only took a minute to realize what had happened. >And you sat there, letting go of her body. Her eyes still slightly opened, as you scream, the realization his you. "NOOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOOOOOOM!" >Pretty soon a practical army had flooded around the doorway, seeing you sitting there on your mothers bed, crying infront of her body as your tears stain the bed. >A guard tries to pry you off, but reflex, and adrenaline prompt you to smack him with your fist, sending him reeling a foot away as you return to your mother's body, the memories still flooding in. >But that song was there. The slap you rendered now had everyone muted, in shock, the only thing audible other than the breathing being a single weak voice, trying to deliver a last message. "Y-You are my s-sunshine..." ======================================================================================================================================= "Auntie! Auntie! Help! Mom's turned evil!" you shout, barreling down a corridor >"ANONYMOUS! IT IS TIME FOR BED. NOW!" An incredibly pissed off white alicorn rounds a corner with what appear to be angry eyebrows drawn on her face in red permanent marker >"Beloved nephew! Quickly, hop on our back!" Luna crouched for you to mount her before galloping away >"We always feared sister would fall to darkness as we had!" She shouts over the furious roars coming from behind and getting closer >"ANONYMOUS!" "What do we do!?" You cry, risking a glance backward >Bad idea >You hold on tighter to Luna's neck and notice she's beginning to slow down >"We are too tired!" She pants "Auntie nooo!" >"Indeed, we believe she has us!" "Auntie, please!" >"Eugh," your dearest aunt collapses carefully to the floor with her tongue out dramatically as you feel a fiery chill on your neck "Et tu, Auntie!?" You call out as you're carried unceremoniously away >Before you know it, you're tucked so tightly into your bed, you can hardly breathe >"Goodnight, sweetheart," your mother kisses your forehead before leaving the room, though there was no warmth in her words or her actions >Well shit >At least she might have to work tomorrow with those eyebrows still there ======================================================================================================================================= >"Dearest Luna, how she lives for gazing into the heavens. I may have to give that hobby a try myself." Mom muses as she gets ready for bed >"Yesss, disrobe, Nephew. Unf..oh stars above~ All for Auntie Luna." >"Thanks for telescope, Tia. It's great for observing heavenly bodies." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hello, who might you be?" >'It's me, mom. Anonymous.' >"I KNEW that! Keeping you on your toes, sweetheart!" >'Heh, y-you got me, mom.' >"And here you thought I was getting forgetful, you remind me of my son." >"He's always telling me the saaame thing, but I'm not! My memory is in peak condition!" >'I know, mom, I know.' >"Oh, hello, who are you?" >"Heh..i-it's me, mom. Anonymous." You say holding back sobs ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hello, who might you be?" >'It's me, mom. Anonymous.' >"I KNEW that! Keeping you on your toes, sweetheart!" >'Heh, y-you got me, mom.' >"And here you thought I was getting forgetful, you remind me of my son." >"He's always telling me the saaame thing, but I'm not! My memory is in peak condition!" >'I know, mom, I know.' >"Oh, hello, who are you?" >"Heh..i-it's me, mom. Anonymous." You say holding back sobs ======================================================================================================================================= >"Dear Princess Celestia, help! Rainbow Dash and Pinkie convinced the griffons to center their economy on scones! The griffonian shekel will fall and the bit will lose value as well!" >'Hahaha, read me another one, mom.' >"*Ahem* Dear Princess Celestia, I'll pay for the weather factory Rainbow Dash destroyed, sorry, p.s. happy boss's appreciation day!" ======================================================================================================================================= "Great race mom! You and auntie were amazing!" >"A-hem." "Oh, you were great too Cadance." >"Why thank you Anon." >Your cousin says as she ruffles your hair. >Your mom kisses your forehead and smiles. >"Surely it was your cheering that helped us capture victory Anonymous." >Your auntie says while adjusting her swimsuit. >You notice your mom rubbing her leg with a pained look on her face. "You okay mom?" >"Hmm? Oh, I think I pulled something during that last lap. Just a twinge is all, nothing to worry about." "Come on mom, you know you gotta be careful about that kinda stuff." >You say while getting down on your knees and slowly massaging her aching leg. >She does her best to stiffle a moan, guess you're doing a good job. >"Y-you know Anonymous... I believe I may have pulled something myself. On my inner thighs actually, as well as my chest." >Your auntie says with a bit of a blush. >Guess she's embarassed to be saying she got hurt. "Sure auntie, I'll get you after I'm done with mom." >"Would you mind giving me a massage too?" "Sure. Anything for my favorite cousin. Anyone else want one while I'm at it?" >A girl on the other side of yhe pool raises her hand, you're partially wondering how she heard you. >She looks cute in a nerdy kinda way. >You think her name is Twilight, but don't you already have a Twilight that goes here? >You shrug and motion her over, looks like you're going to have your hands full today. >Literally. ======================================================================================================================================= >"P-princess, you have to reign in your unruly son!" Twilight shouted, stamping her hooves >"I'm having difficulty believing ANY of this actually occured, Twilight." >"But it's true! He threw Pinkie into a taffy puller, convinced Applejack to plant mare-ijuana, sabotaged Rarity's fabric orders to be nothing but red and black, and he didn't even say 'please' before he came inside Rai-" >"I've heard enough, Twilight." >"ANONYMOUS! Mommy needs a word." >'Sup mom.' You say kissing her cheek >"Don't you try buttering me up, mister. Twilight's brought me some very disheartening news about you." >'M-mom, I can-' >"You will serve 2 minutes in time-out for not saying 'please'." >'2 MINUTES?' >"I'm sorry, did you want to try for 3?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"I finished all my broccoli, mommy, can I go play now?" >'Ofcourse, my sunshine.' She says sipping her tea >"YAY!" Anonymous says stomping off >A nearby guard unit training in the gardens feels the semi tremors of the princes footsteps >"L-LIEUTENANT SENTRY, HE'S COMING BACK! WHAT DO WE DO?!" >Some assume the fetal position and repeat 'I don't wanna be tickled to death, I don't wanna be tickled to death.' >"Look, Lulu, he's become such fast friends with all the staff and guards already." >Auntie turns her head to see a laughing Anonymous chasing after a terrified guard patrol ======================================================================================================================================= >"You have a throne, mom." >I prefer the box, thank you.' >"Mom, your throne is ornate and it's got all that detail." >'Anonymous, sweetheart, the throone~ doesn't say 'Only Pretty Princesses', though.' ======================================================================================================================================= >You place the googly eyes onto the picture of your mother and smile at your work. >Giving it a quick shake you chuckle as the eyes do their thing. "I'm Princess Celestia, I don't let Anon have any fun. Eat your vegetables, clean your room." >You say in a mock tone. >"Is that what I sound like?" >You hear your mother say behind you as you freeze in place. >The picture is magiced out of your hands and floats over to her. >She inspects it and then looks at you. >"It's good to see that you did have something more important to do than cleaning room. I can see how this needed to take up your time." >You wince, knowing that tone. >"Now that you've had your fun, why don't you get back to your room and start cleaning it. If you put half as much effort into cleaning it as you do avoiding doing your chores, I'm sure you'll have it done in no time." "O-okay mom." >You get up and start to leave. >"I swear, it's like he's 9 instead of 29." >You manage to hear her say under her breath as you walk or the room. ======================================================================================================================================= >Legend of Everfree >Gloriosa keeps trying to get some 'alone' time with Anon but finds his mother & aunt don't like to share >Twilight's friends think this outing will be a good time to get Anon to finally realize he 'has feelings' for her >Timber Spruce can't realize why none of these schoolgirls are falling for him >Decides to try his hand at members of the faculty >Anonymous notices Timber sipping his 'lunch' through a straw at mess >"Fuck, what happened to him, mom?" >She doesn't look up when she answers "Who cares, he probably had it coming." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Time your thrusts to go against her winking, Sunshine." >"Enjoying those hands, Cadence?" >"Focus here, Anonymous, where her wings meet down the middle of her back." >"Don't hold back, Cadence, he's not made out of paper, restrain HIM for a change." >"Good. Keep that eye contact. Now kiss like there's no tomorrow." ======================================================================================================================================= >"In closing, my little ponies, this small alleviation to Canterlot's Cake allowance for public consumption, is a good thing in the long run!" >"It falls upon ALL of us to tighten our saddles and do our best to conserve one of our most precious resources." >The crowd roars it's approval >"Heheh, yes." >"Nyeheheh..." >"HAHAHAHAH!!! HAAAHAHAHA!!!!! MINE, IT'S ALLLL MINE!!" >'M-mom, you're doing it again.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Look at that SLUT, Luna. Fucking turns my stomach knowing my boy has to face harpies like this everyday." >She watches Anonymous at his locker, surrounded by different girls >Auntie sips her coffee as she joins your mom in peeking out her office blinds >'Sister, you're making a mountain out of an anthill. Do you not wish for you son to BE kind to others? She just asked for a pen.' >Mom's deathglare softens >"..I guess you're right, Lulu. I want him to be someone his peers can admire and look up to if the need arises." She muses, walking away from her office window >Luna watches as the scene's taken a bit of a turn for the worst >An especially persistent girl has Anon's hand as she scrawls a phone number on it >'Y-yes sister, he shall undoubtedly be all-, all that stuff you just said, let's uh, let us stay over HERE for a while.' >"Oh boo, I got myself all bothered and now I'm hungry. Luna, let's the 3 of us go off campus for lunch. I'll get Anonymous." >'N-no, sister!' >Mom's back at the window peeking through her blinds again >"GET OFF OF HIM YOU SKANK!" ======================================================================================================================================= https://derpibooru.org/1087353 >"If we can't have Anon then nobody can!" "Put down the gun, Twiggy. You too... uh, whatever your name was.. Moonbeam or whatever." >"Y-You don't even remember my name? But... B-But we were lab partners for an entire month last year! I let you put it in my butt because you said it'd make me popular!" "Oh, is that what this is about? You're not popular so you'll shoot up the school?* That's some Tomoko tier shit right there." >The cafeteria has since cleared out after Mooncancer & Deathlight Sparkle barged in >Shouting some autistic shit about offerings to Lord Kek and normie this, normie that >Anonymous remained, because seriously, it's fucking fajita dippers day >"Y-you think you can just treat girls like toys? Fucking Chad!!" >Mooncancer pressed the barrel of a handgun to his temple as he nonchalantly hmm'd his way through a few more mouthfuls >"If y-you've got any last words, nows the time, scum! N-not that it'll help you, heh." Twilight rasped out defiantly >"One thing." He said dabbing his mouth with a napkin >"..Can I have your autographs? I fucking loved The Matrix, man." >"Huh?" They both say in unison >"..You guys are The Wachowski's, right?" ======================================================================================================================================= "Mom...uh...what's with the...?" >"Oh do you like my new throne sweetheart?" "yeah it's really...something." >"Your throne has cupholders and a seat warmer, mom." >'Mmhmm, that's a good point, but my throne doesn't say 'Pretty Princess'.' >"Uh, ok, so the throne doesn't make the princess, but don't you feel a little silly, ruling from a box, mom?" >'Nonsense! Also, my box is strategically placed so I've a panoramic view of my kingdom!' >Mom stretches her hooves out surveying her 'kingdom' >A dog barks in the distance >"Look, mommy! It's Princess Celestia!" >A foal and her mother exiting the nearby Pone Mart point at mom >'Ha ha! Hello, loyal subject! Mom says waving >'See, Anonymous? What is a throne but a mis-..however the rest of that goes.' >"Alright mom, you win for now, but the owner of the store wants you to either pick a different spot, maybe kind of away from customers, or hold a sign." ======================================================================================================================================= >"What game are you playing honey? Can I play too?" >team hears your mom on teamspeak >"Oh, sweetheart, I like how you handle that controller, wanna show me those fingers in action?" >"Yo, bro, the fuck? You got a girl at your house, dude?" >'What no, it's my mom-' >Mom's kissing your cheek and stroking your chest >"Yeah right dude, no one's mom sounds that hot. Delete yourself, faggot." >'No, seriously! I mean-, damnit, mom!' >"Mmmm yes, damn me for wanting to save my son from a night spent calling other boys faggots, guzzling code red." She says, this time idly tracing her nails across the back of your hand >'M-mom, lewd.' >"You're so cute when you try to fight it." >She repeatedly kisses your head >"My. Sweet. Boy And._____His.___.Fucking.___DICK." ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Prince Anon, just in Ponyville because you needed to do some royal stuff with Twilight. >AKA reorganize the books in her library and maybe hang out with Spike if there’s time. >You know the library thing will get under her skin and the little dragon was fun to hang out with. >Looking up, you see her and the Rainbow one flying overhead. >Good, that’ll definitely give you time to- >What the hell is happening here? >”I Princess Celestia, banish you Princess Luna to the moon.” >”Nooooooooooo!” >Are those two of the Elements pretending to be your mom and auntie? “Here’s something I didn’t expect to see today.” >The cute yellow one gives out a little ‘eep’ noise while the white one seems to get a little red with blush. >”P-prince Anonymous!” >The shy one says, a little flustered. “So tell me you two, were you both trying to go for cute or sexy?” >Their eyes widen and they look at each other and back to you. “Because I think you nailed both.” >You are Twilight Sparkle, and you are feeling pretty good about yourself right now. >You managed to figure out a way for Rainbow to learn about the Wonderbolts in her own unique style. >Pretty good for a day’s work if you do say so yourself. >Which you do. >Maybe you’ll write Princess Celestia about how good a friend you have been. >It’s been so long since you’ve done that. >But first hings first, you should see if Rainbow really learned anything on your little flight through town. “So… why not tell me about the history of the Wonderbolts again.” >”What’s there to say? Apart from when Princess Celestia Banished Princess Luna to the moon, Prince Anonymous came in and had his way with both princesses until they begged for him to stop, but you could tell in their eyes that they didn't want him to.” “Wait! What!?” ======================================================================================================================================= >"M'nephew." >'Auntie, did my mom tell you to wear that hat.' >"As it turns out she did! Sister is always providing us with insider tips on the hip and current styles." >'Was she laughing while doing this?' >"She was actually, why do you ask? >'Auntie, take off the hat.' >"Very well, it clashes with our Dr. Whooves-ian scarf and steam punk goggles, anyway." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Have a nice day, sweetie." >'What're you going to do, mom?' >"Oh, nothing interesting. I may tend to my hoard later or sharpen my claws." >'I guess 'reversing transformation spell' isn't on that list, huh.' >She lowers her head to your level and gives you a puff of hot dragonbreath and a big lick >Anon the knight is sent to slay the dragon by the local townsponies >Because what the fuck else are knights supposed to in a psuedo-mideaval society where wars are won with "The Magic of Friendship™" >Arrive at cave, pull out your sword >Suddenly, a booming get motherly voice echoes through the cavern >"Another brave pony sent to plunder my hoard?" "Nah, I'm just here to kill you" >"Who dares threa-- Oh, aren't you an adorable little green monkey! You even have your own little sword! I thought ponies outlawed everything other than spears ages ago!" >Through a complex and mysterious series of events Dragonlestia forcibly adopts Anon the Knight. ======================================================================================================================================= "Mom!" >Celestia jerks to a halt now that she's aware that you're awake. >She doesn't move, not even to pull her tongue back into her mouth. "Mom, we talked about this." >The hot, moist muscle slinks back into your mother's mouth and a coy smile takes its place. >"But sweetie, what's wrong with a little - " >You cut her off. "No tongue baths, mom. Twilight told me that ponies don't give their foals tongue baths." >Celestia's smile turns into a scowl as a dark look takes hold of her features. >"Did she, now?" >You don't think Twilight's going to be your mother's special student any longer. >You later learn that your mom sent Twilight to a small town called "Ponyville" and that she has to send her "friendship reports", whatever THAT meant. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Every time I look at you, Anon, all I see is a foal in need of a mother." >You try and smile politely, but the large alabaster pony was starting to make you feel worried. >It was a strange feeling, like a bunch of red flags were popping up in your head. "That's very.... sweet of you, Princess Cel - " >"Call me Celly, sweetheart." >Did you say flags? You meant a WWII "the germans are coming" klaxon going off in your head. >You need to leave and you need to leave RIGHT NOW. "R-right; Celly. That's really sweet of you, but..." >Celestia takes a step towards you, and you take a step backwards to match her. >"But...?" >If she can sense your apprehension, she doesn't show it. >If anything, her smile is getting wider. >"But what?" "B-but I'm a grown adult, Celly. I-I-I have a job, a home, a... a..." >Fuck. >What ELSE do you have? >Dammit, you're panicking. >It's so much harder to think when you're panicking! >Celestia continues to walk towards you and you continue to blindly step backwards. >"I'm over a thousand years old, honey. You're a foal to me." >She swings a wing over a nearby balcony, looking away and motioning to all the ponies going about their daily lives. >"They're ALL foals to me." >She turns your attention back to you. >"But you, sweetie? There's something... special about you." >She extends a wing and caresses your cheek, cleaning away all the terror-sweat you're producing. >"Something that's calling out to me." >Celestia takes another step forward and, of course, you take another step backwards. >Or, at least you TRY to. >You've backed yourself into a wall. >Celestia knows that you aren't going anywhere and smiles sweetly; innocently. >God, why is she so terrifying?! >"Let's go home, Sunshine." >Celestia's horn glows and everything turns golden-yellow. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Twilight, for the umpteenth time, 'friendship' is not an offered course here." >'W-what've you been doing with all the friendship reports I've been giving you?' >Mom glances down beneath her desk where her paper shredder is >"Filing them away." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Please, don't forget the wings." >You stretch your shoulders, moving them around in circles to work the ache out of them. "Don't you have MAGIC?" >Your mom giggles and brushes a wing against your neck and slowly drags it down your bear, sweaty chest. >"Oh, I do, sweetheart, but it feels like my coat gets so much more clean when YOU do it." ======================================================================================================================================= >"but mom, I'm 29..." >Celestia chuckles and clumsily crawls into your lap. >"Nonny, you silly boy, you're NEVER too old to snuggle your mother." >Celestia wraps her hooves around your neck and does that weird nuzzle thing on either side of your face, all while making cooing noises. >>"P-Princess?" >Celestia sighs and, with one last parting nuzzle, turns to face the speaker. >"Yes, Twilight?" >Twilight's wings twitch nervously as she and the other Elements watch the spectacle with various reactions. >Some of them are amused; others, uncomfortable; Rainbow Dash in particular looks outraged and glares daggers at you. >Twilight falters under Celestia's stare, and you feel her grip around your neck tighten almost imperceptibly. >>"W-we're supposed to b-be talking about... about the Yaks, now..." >Celestia kicks her widdle rear hoofsies to get a better, more secure position on your body. >"We can do that later, Twilight." >She turns to look at you and her voice takes on a tone that you wouldn't find out of place on a mother talking to her toddler. >"But right now, me and my widdle sunshine have some snuggling to do, don't we?" ======================================================================================================================================= >Your mom pulls you into a hug the moment you walk through the front door. >"Oh, Sunshine!" >It takes you a moment to realize she's crying. "M-mom?" >She pulls back and grins at you. >That sweet smile outshines the sun. >"Sweetie, you've made me so happy. You've given me the best gift a mother could ever ask for!" >Your mom pulls you back in and peppers your face with kisses. >It isn't long before they start to linger on your skin, slowly becoming more sensual. "What's gotten into you, mom?!" >Not that you're complaining, but... >Your mom pulls away and stares deep into your eyes from under heavy lids. >"Can't you guess, sweetheart? After everything we've done? All the love we've shared together?" >She leans in and kisses the corner of your mouth, breaking off only to bring her lips close to your ear, which she whispers into. >"I'm gonna be a mommy again, Sunshine." >Oh. >Oh! >OH! Oh, oh! >Oh, oh o- >A heady giggle and a light shake of your shoulders breaks you from your little episode. >"And it's all thanks to my little boy." >The next kiss is on the lips, and you're all too eager to return it. ======================================================================================================================================= I'd prefer his mother following Anon around while disguised as a student. >You're talking to your friends when your mom - and also your principal - comes walking up. >Oh god, is she going to give you a good-morning kiss again? >Not this time, it seems. >She's dressed up in baggy jeans, and AC DC t-shirt, a red button-up shirt on top of that, and she has a red backwards cap on her head. >"How do you do, fellow kids?" >She asks, throwing her skateboard over her shoulder. "Oh god, mom, please leave." >Celestia laughs nervously. >"Ha! Ahah! Oh, goodness, no. You're a very silly person, An-er, stranger. I am... My name is, er... Celly." >Your friends all look like they really want to leave now. >You do too. >"I'm an exchange student, and the Big P 'Lestia told me to find a group of youths to make friends with." >She looks an arm around your elbow and pulls you into a side hug. >"You look radical and cool! Do you want to chill out after school? I know a radical place where we can kick back and totes not have to do things like listen to our parent. I have a rock albu-CD for us to listen to!" >Your friends are gone. >They've left and they're never coming back. >Your mom is your only friend, now. >Just like she wanted. ======================================================================================================================================= >"All done, sweetie?" >'Mhhmm!' You say showing mom your empty cereal bowl >"Wonderful. Hop on mommy's back and let's go for our morning walk." >'Yay!' >"Oomph, my, somepony's certainly growing into a strong young stallion." >You flex your biceps and giggle >'Good morning, your highness, young master Anonymous.' Castle staff say in passing >"Good morning, loyal subject." >'MORNIIIING!!' >Meanwhile, in the guard barracks >"C-CAPTAIN ARMOR!!! CAPTAIN ARMOR, WAKE UP, SIR!!" >'Private Sentry? What's the meaning of this?' >"HE'S COMING." >'..Think you must've gotten some spoiled K-rations, soldier, back to your bunk.' >"N-no, you don't understand, I HEARD him! He's coming!!" >The quaking footsteps and raucous calls of 'HIIII!!' and 'MORNIIIING!' proved his ravings weren't a joke >That 6'5 'young son' of The Princess was on his way right now >You push past Sentry whose now rocking back and forth in tears holding his helmet >"FIND ANYTHING YOU CAN AND USE IT TO BRACE THE DOOR, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" >"M-mr. Captain Armor, sir? Are you all ok in there? The doors locked!" >'Just fine, your highness, n-never better infact!' >"My mommy said I could play with you guys again! Isn't that great Just unlo-" >'NO!' >"Huh?" >'I mean uhh no, your highness, w-we're all sick right now! Yes, we've got the uhh-, we've all got the pony pox!' >"Haha, that's ok, my mommy says I'm resist-..restat-..she says I can't get pony sicknesses cause I'm a human." >The door handle starts to jiggle >'BRACE!' >The entire guard unit begins to push to keep the doors closed >"Guys is there something blocking the door?" >Some begin muttering prayers to themselves while fighting back tears >Get it together, Armor, YOU WILL see your squad through this >The squeaking of hooves against the barrack floor is saying otherwise though >The doors begin to open, with your men being pushed back >"HAHA! YAY, I DID IT!" >His hulking form towers over you >"Time to cure those pony pox with...." >'CELESTIA NO, I WANT TO LIVE!!!' >"Tickles!!" ======================================================================================================================================= >D-did Principal Celestia and Anonymous just kiss? >They back themselves into a doorway between the row of lockers >You in turn make yourself scarce, hiding behind a corner >What're the two of them doing? >"Haa~ Oh, yesss." >! >Peeking out you see Principal Celestia's blazer unbuttoned and Anonymous pulling her top down, kissing and sucking her breasts >D-don't unf, Twilight. What, no Twilight/Anon/Celestia threesome? >You are Twilight, the furiously masturbating. >You've got one hand buried in your soaked underwear, and the other groping your breast. >FUCK, this is hot. >Anon, that dirty boy, has been nailing his own mother for the last fifteen minutes. >You've never heard a boy makes those kinds of groans and grunts before outside of the time you stopped by the bathroom door and listened to Shining Armour shower. >And boy oh boy, you have never EVER heard Principal Celestia moan and whimper like she was now! >Anonymous unlatches his mouth from Celestia's breast while Celestia strokes her son's hair. >"M-maawwmm... I'm gonna... gonna.." >>"Inside, baby! Do it inside!" >Aaaaaaand you just creamed yourself. >click >And thanks to your quick thinking, you now have a photo of this entire event. >You're getting in on this if it kills you. >You snap a few on your phone >Once you've straightened yourself back out, you put your phone back into your backpack >"My future husband may just sing a different tune now that I have THIS." >You're about to turn around and leave the scene when you run into someone >"Ouch! Hey, watc-..o-oh." >'We could not help overhear your triumphant declaration, Ms. Sparkle. DO tell, now that you have 'what' exactly?' >Vice Principal Luna >"Nothing! I was j-just.." >'My office, now, Twilight.' >Once the two of you enter her office she wastes no time >'Your phone, Twilight. Please give it to me now.' >Defeated and fearing the worst if you don't cooperate, you hand it over >She's already got the phones SD card out and broken it >The phone it's self follows suit >Yeah, it was definitely a good idea to cooperate >'Now. What did you see today, Ms. Sparkle?' >"...I didn't see anything." >'Good. And what happened to your phone?' >"I lost it." >'Excellent. You're dismissed, and for future reference, should you ever, EVER again entertain the notion of finding yourself good enough for my nephew, don't.' >"Y-yes ma'am." ======================================================================================================================================= "I'm so glad Anon decided to invite Twilight to his birthday party. I've been trying to get those two together since they were young." >"I am well aware, as I am sure Anonymous is as well. But sister, why must we dress like this?" "Oh that. Anon said he wanted to have clowns at his party, and he said it would mean the world to him if we could play the part. I didn't think you would mind Luna." >"I would suffer any indignity for my favorite nephew. But, I am only wondering why the sudden penchant for clowns. He has never displayed interest in them before." "I'm not sure either. He came to me last week and asked for the party. If it makes him happy, that's all that matters." >"Last week you say?" "Yes, is something wrong?" >"No, not at all. It is just that I told Anonymous about a dream I saw of Twilight Sparkle's where-" >"There are my two favorite girls." >Anon comes over to both of you, hugs and kisses each of you. >"Thanks for putting this all together mom, you too auntie. You both look great by the way." "Always the charmer." >You kiss his cheek. "I'm very glad you invited Twilight, sunshine. I can tell you now that she was so happy you invited her." >"I wouldn't want her to miss my party." >He smiles. >The doors open and Twilight enters the great hall. >"Prince Anonymous, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you inviting me to your... your..." >She slowly stops talking while looking at Luna and you. "I'm so glad you could make it Twilight." >"C-cl-c-c-cl-clo..." >She stutters as her eyes go wide. "Twilight, are you alright?" >"Yeah Twi, you okay?" >Anon asks. >"CLOOOWWWWWWNNNNNSSS!!!!" >She yells and twleports out of the room. >"Oh wow, that went better than I had thought. Totally worth it." >Anon starts laughing. "Anonymous!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Tickle tickle tickle" She says brushing her wingtips against you >'AHAHAHAHAH!!! G-GODAMNIT MOM! STAHAHAHAH!!! S-STOP!!' >She finally relents and envelopes you with her wings >"Now, are you ever going to refuse mommy's kisses in public again?" >'N-no.' You say between labored breaths >"Mmm good." ======================================================================================================================================= >Pancakes are the bomb stiggety >Pancakes on a friday are bomb stiggety..t-to the extreme >You're about to cut into them when you hear glass breaking >"Oh god, no." >"No, please god, mom no, seriously, NO." >'WHAT?' >Mom Cold is centimeters away from your face, the ponest blue ribbon heavy on her breath already >"Mom, I'm just trying to have some breakfast here." >'WHAT?' >"I'm j-" >'WHAT?' >"Mom, honestly, it's not even 10 yet, can you take it easy on the drinking?" >'OH, SURE THING, SUNBEAM, HELL THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY.' >"Thank you." >'LULU, ANONYMOUS WANTS ME TO UHH W-WATCH MY ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION!' >Aunt Luna enters the kitchen wearing tattered remnants of a suit and an odd face mask >"Auntie, no, not you too." You say slumping in your chair >'WELL VERILY, SISTER, WATCHING YOUR CONSUMPTION IS WHAT WE SHALL DO, UNLESS DEAR NEPHEW HAS ANY QUALMS.' >They both look at you >"You know, I bet other guys don't have to go throu-" >'ANSWER WISELY, NEPHEW, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN MR. HOOF SOCKO WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE.' >You sit silent, defeated >'Aww don't gimme that sourpuss, c'mon, give your mommy a big 'hell yeah'!' >"...Hell yea-" >Before you can finish your mother and aunt shake up their beer cans and spray the room with suds >They both carouse off shouting something about Hell in a cell, money in the bank, etc.. >You are left with soggy beer flavored pancakes >This is your Friday morning ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia shows up with no warning each night and sleeps on top of Anon >Any attempts to speak with her about this are met with a gentle boop to the nose and a whispered "later" >The next time it's time for bed, Celestia refuses to explain herself and instead rubs Anon's head with a wing and hums "you are my sunshine" until he falls asleep. >You're dreaming of something warm and soft. >Pillows and clouds and blankets and the arms of your mother all shift and sail seamlessly through your disjointed, but pleasent, dream. >You feel more content than you have in years; especially with the "torn from your world and everyone you've ever known and loved" ordeal that's been stressing you out a bit. >Just a teensy bit, you know. >You only had one or two complete mental breakdowns recently, and you've stopped crying in the bathtub. >Consciousness returns to you with all the grace and speed of warm molasses, and the comforting feeling of weight and warmth on your chest doesn't leave. >You're suddenly aware of butterfly-soft touches on your face "Hmmm?" >You try and shuffle around, but you're pinned down. >"Shh..." coos a female voice >Something soft and delicate tickles your cheek, and you sleepily bat it away. >"Go back to sleep, sweetie..." >You crack open an eye and catch none other than Princess Celestia watching you sleep with a smile on her face. >"Good morning, Sunshine." >You sit up and shove her off of you; she topples to the ground with an indignant squeak. "What the fuck are you doing in my house, Princess?" >You'd like to have picked her up and physically removed her from your property, but you don't think that would fly with Celestia OR Luna. >Celestia picks herself up and casually begins to preen her feathers, but the light blush on her face reveals her embarrassment. >"Luna told me you were having troubled dreams, Anon, so I decided to visit you and take a look. You seemed very-" >You cut her off. "That's bullshit, Celestia. Luna can't look into my dreams, just like she can't look into any other non-ponies dreams." >Celestia's head twitches nervously and she accidentally yanked out a feather that wasn't ready to molt, making her nose scrunch in discomfort. >"W-well, I assure you I have a good reason, young stallion." >Excuse you? "Young stallion? Celestia, I am a grown-ass man. Could you please not treat me with-hurk" >Celestia leaps across your bed and lands on top of you, knocking you back down onto your bed. >Struggle as you might, you can't overpower the literal goddess of the sun. >Is this what rape feels like? >The answer, apparently, is no; the princess reaches out a hoof and taps you on the nose. >"Boop." >What. >Why are ponies so fucking weird? "What are-" >Celestia boops your nose one more time before getting to her hooves and walking towards your open window. >"Later, Anonymous. I'm going to be very busy in day court today, so you'll have to wait until tonight to get your answer." >And she's gone. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Heheheh nyeh!!" >'That's real mature, mom.' >She wiggles her sunbutt inches from your face >More than one gaming session has been successfully interrupted this way >'Mom, please, c'mon...later.' >"I'm not touching youuu~~" >Damnit >She would enjoy it too much if you smacked her rump >Before you know it, Auntie follows suit as well >"HA HA! WE ART NOT TOUCHING THEE DESPITE APPROACHING EXTREMELY CLOSE~!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"40 LAKES, ANONYMOUS!" >'Mom, this is ridiculous, stop. You're NOT having a midlife crisis.' >"I'm old, Anonymous! My little baby is all grown up and my uterus is probably about to rot and fall out!" "Jesus, mom, you're only what, 1500 years old? C'mon, you don't look a day over 900." >"You're not helping, Nonny. Foals, Anonymous! Foals! It's getting to be too late! I need.... I need...." >You stand there with your arms crossed. "You know, it isn't like you're all worn out down there. I'm adopted, remember? You can stil... you know... do "stuff"." >That stops Celestia in her tracks. >She turns to look at you and at you and a grin chases her age lines away. >"Nonny? C'mere a second. Mommy wants to snuggle." ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Anonymous, adopted son of the Sun Goddess. >After you were kicked out of the house at 18, you had went from sleeping in your car at Walmart to a land of magical ponies. > over the course of a couple of days you learned that the small beings were sentient and very friendly. >The ruler of the country you had ended up in came by and chose to take you in as her son. >It was a weird offer, but you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. >Supposedly this has happened throughout Equestria's history, strange upright beings popping into existence every century or so. >Apparently the first one raised Celestia, the princess who adopted you, so she made it her job to take care of all those who came after the first Anon. >You were the oldest to come through since the first Anon, most of the Anon's before you having been children. >You were also the first to come to Equestria with a car full of human stuff. >Be day 200+ as prince Anonymous >You enter your room after getting a shower to find your mom trying to understand what was on your laptop screen. >"Sunshine, what are the meaning of the words on this screen? 'page 8? You're letting your mom die.'" "Oh, that? Nothing, it's just some guy talking in a thread. I was trying to do some research into why I ended up here, but so far I couldn't find anything other than fictional writings online about this world." >When you came to Equestria, you noticed that after a week away from a charger, your phone hadn't died. It was still at full charge, in fact. >Though you didn't have a cell signal, apparently you were still in range of Walmart's wifi as well. >According to Twilight, there was a layer of passive magic throughout Equestria that your electronics could tap into, keeping them powered. The wifi signal though, she couldn't explain. >"Well I'm sorry to hear that nothing is coming up, though remember that you are welcome in both this world and this castle, my son." "Thanks mom." Alright, that's all I got. Don't die mom ======================================================================================================================================= "Celestia, stop breaking into my house. I know you're a Princess and that grants you certain privileges, but this shit needs to stop." >Celestia leans forward and pinches your cheek with a hoof. >"Aww, is my little boy grumpy?" >You slap the hoof away. "Fuck off, Celestia. Stop making this weird." >Celestia makes a frowny-face and gives you the puppy dog eyes. >"D-don't you love your mother any more?" "You're not my mother! You just break into my fucking house and do shit like try and feed me my breakfast!" >A tear rolls down Celestia's cheek and you sigh explosively. "Oh, Goddammit, fine!" >You walk over and pull her into a hug. >"Aww, I KNEW my little foal would come around!" >You fucking hate Celestia. ======================================================================================================================================= >mom wants anonymous to live up to his title since he's a prince >starts out mediating arguments between citizens >moves up to rehabbing villains >is named honorary element of badassness by the alicorn council inspite of one dissenter >purple dumb just hates fun, you guess >"I uh..I've really grown, you know, as a pony AND a leader, Prince Anonymous." >'I can tell, King Sombra. How long's it been since you last threatened the crystal empire with eternal suffering?' >"It's been 2 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 19 hours and 47 minutes." >'Good, well remember those stress exercises we talked about and try channeling some of that into a productive hobby or non-destructive activity.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"UH, MOM, FAMILY HUDDLE." >'This isn't up for debate, sweetie, be good for Twilight while mommy's at the Principal Summit this evening.' >She musses your hair and kisses your cheek >'Twilight, there's lasagna in the oven and despite what my son may tell you, he has a bed time and it's 9:30.' >What the fu-..eff, man! >You're going to be 14 next month, you don't need a sitter! >You can't believe mom shelled out 20 bucks so this nerd could eat your junkfood and watch porn on your cable >'S-so, Anon, did you do your homework already?' >Bite me you geektastic tard >Before you can vocalize a reply you hear keys at the door >THAT'S RIGHT MOM, NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND >It's not mom or auntie though >'Aunt Celestia? Aunt Luna? My date with Sh-, Anonymous! Oooh my favorite little cousin!' >"CONDENSE!" >You get a running start and jump into her arms >Mmm, so these are the fruits of cheerleading practice >She puts you down >'You here all by your lonesome, Anon?' >"Nah, mom sprang for a sitter cause, you know, 'm-muh wittle sunshine' still." >Twilight finally speaks up >'C-cadence? I thought you had a date with my brother this evening.' >"Yeah, HAD. Turns out he'd rather be crypt keeper or dungeon master, whatever, with his buddies. Ugh." >You hug her around the waist >"Weak. Y-you wanna have a war with my beast wars and gi joes?" >She smiles down at you >'I had something else in mind, cutie. How bout I take YOU out, hm? I was dead set on getting ice cream tonight.' >"YAY!" You say running upstairs to get your shoes >'Uh Cadence, Principal Celestia actually h-hired ME to be his sitter for the evening a-and I don't thi-' >"Did she pay you for the night already?" >'Well yes, bu-' >"Don't sweat it, Twilight, you probably had other plans for this evening, anyway. Go out, enjoy yourself." She says with a smirk not all that friendly >You come bounding down the stairs >"COLD STONE, COLD STONE, COLD STONE." >you're about finished with your sub zero diabetic coma in a cup at coldstone >condense has long since finished her dainty single scoop >something about m-muh figure & cheer pyramid GO TEAM >'Say, Anon, y-you wouldn't mind sharing the rest, would you?' >"Mmm? Nah, go ahead, Condense." You say pushing an extra spoon towards her >She's still got this expectant look on her face but doesn't touch the spoon >She must be a little picky >"M-my bad, Condense, here let me get some of these gummi worms out of ther-" >'No, no, that's alright, I just wanted a little taste...and..' >She delicately drags a perfectly manicured finger across your cheek, collecting a sizeable dollop of chocolate as she does so >'..I got it.' >She smiles as she licks it clean >It isn't a jessica rabbit smile or one of smugness >It's like the smile mom and auntie give you whenever they see you >"Cond.-....Cadence. Mom's always told me that honesty is the best policy so, um..I'll just say it." >'Say what, Anon?' She asks looking genuinely concerned >"I think I like you." ======================================================================================================================================= >I do declare sister, his heart is quite oppressive. Why must you make it so hot? Because dear sister it is the perfect temperature to grow the cotton in our fields. No to mention it makes my dear boy perspire ever so heavily. The camera pans over to anon whipping a zebra for not working fast enough. >I say dear sister watching anon motivate the workers is making me quite feverish. Indeed he is fine breeding stock. Such is life in Confederate equestria ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-thanks for having me over, Anon." >'Yeah, yeah, whatever. Originally I asked Moondancer but, like, she had a massive nosebleed when I started talking to her.' >'Anyway, uh, thanks for helping me study.' >"Y-you too.." >'Fucks sake, don't make this into one of your chinese flipbook scenes.' >"Anonymous, I..." >'Good night, Twilight.' You say closing the door ======================================================================================================================================= >"Alright everyone, I'd like to welcome all of you to camp. If you'll please look at the bulletin board, it will tell you which cabin you'll be staying in. Now's a good chance to meet your bunk mates." >You walk over and see a few people already reading the sheet and done high five each other. >You finally get to the front of the line and start looking for your name. >That's weird, you can't find it. >Better look again just on case. >You look again, but the results the same. "Um, excuse me." >You say loud enough to get your mom's attention without calling her mom in front of the rest of your class. >Life's hard enough when your mom is the principal. >"Yes? Is something the matter?" "I can't find my name listed. I'm not sure where I should be sleeping tonight." >She looks concerned and looks at her clipboard. >"Oh no, I think Vice-Principal Luna forgot to place you into a cabin." >Like hell she forgot. "Well that's okay, you can just put me in one now." >"I'm afraid that all the cabins are filled to capacity. We can't put you into one of them." >She shakes get head apologetically. "So what am I supposed to do?" >"Don't worry, our cabin still has done room in it. I'm sure we can make an exception for a student staying with the faculty given these unique sets of events." >Son of a bitch! >She did it again. >Why is she so determined to ruin your life? >You just want to be a normal kid, why is that so much to ask for? >"Orientation will begin in 30 minutes. I suggest you put your belongings into your assigned cabin." >Grabbing your bag you hear some people taking behind you. >"Man, I wish I was him. He gets to sleep with those hot teachers this whole trip." >"Yeah right, don't you know? He's her son. He's joined at the hip with her." >"What? Seriously?" >"Yeah, straight up mammas boy." >"Ha, what a loser. Come on, let's get out stuff unpacked." >Why is this your life? ======================================================================================================================================= >You will never welcome your General-Princess-Mom back from a successful campaign against Yakyakistan >"Hush, Anonymous, this armor does NOT make me look cute.." >You pat her head and kiss her cheek >'*mwah* I packed you a snakpak and a capri sun for your little 'war', mom, don't have too much fun.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"I will hear your suggestions for the fall formal, Twilight. Anonymous will sit in with me as well, since he's on the student council's planning committee for school events." >You can feel the nerdly adoration and smell the pasta in the room and Twilight hasn't even started talking >'T-thank you, Principal Celestia, Anonymous. I'll get right into it.' >'Friendship: What IS friendship? When the ancient pilgrims first set sail for blah blah, blah blah blah blah...' >Your mom just nods now and then, keeping up a somewhat interested expression >You're actively 'taking notes' >You slide them over to your mom >She looks down and tries to stifle her laughter >She makes an addition or two and slides them back to you >">Purple and brash" >">More like belongs in the trash!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Pic --Filly Twilight-- >*giggle giggle* "Oh this is going to be so much fun" >You stop for a moment to admire your artwork. Or rather the doodles you've just drawn on Princess Celestia's snout. >Something resembling a cat's nose and whiskers. >The light snoring coming from her tells you that you have some more time to finish your masterpiece. "Something's missing" >You mumble to yourself. >Right! >The tip of the permanent marker Anon lent you draws the final lines of your work. A couple of poorly drawn, crooked eyes make their appearance on the princess' closed eyelids. "That's more like it" >Putting a little hoofsie over your mouth, you suppress a fit of laughter. >Anon told you his mother loved this kind of pranks. He was smiling mischievously when he told you so, but you can't help but trust him. He seems so nice. >He couldn't possibly have lied to you. >You cast a final glance at your work before swiftly galloping away. As you exit the princess' room, a sudden question crosses your mind. >Why was she taking a nap in the middle of the day? --Corporal Silver Spear, officer of the Royal Guard-- >When you decided to join the Royal Guard you dreamt of a life full of adventures. >But right now you're standing beside the castle gate, waiting for Faust knows what guest or foreign delegate to arrive. >You sigh loudly, shifting your weight. >"Talk about elite corps uh?" Says your comrade from the other side of the gate. "Don't tell me. Why are we here again?" >"To watch for potential menaces. And make a good impression when the ambassadors arrive. But cheer up, the moment they enter these doors we're free to go." "Yeah, the moment they're inside, they're Princess Celestia's problem." >You don't envy her. Not in the slightest. >Today is the annual Royal Meeting of the Races, where delegates from every kingdom, representing all sorts of creatures that inhabit this World gather to discuss things you couldn't care less about. >Poor Princess, she even took a break from day court to sleep so she could be ready for that. Taking a brief look at Canterlot's castle, you sincerely hope she's ready. --Princess Celestia-- >Groggily opening your eyes, you are now once again in the land of the awoken. >Stretching a bit, you rise from your big, fluffy cushion in front of the fireplace and head to the wardrobe. >Horn alight, you float your regal attire over and examine its various parts. Golden Horseshoes, crown, peytral. Everything's perfect. >With the aid of your magic, you put everything on. >Better get ready, the meeting will begin in a few minutes. >It is a very important event that you look forward to every year. While a bit boring at times, it contributes to maintain harmony and peace throughout the land. >You hope everything's going to be fine. >You'd really hate if something was to go awry today. >Your thoughts are interrupted by someone knocking at the door. Most likely a maid. >A feeble, almost trembling voice reaches your ears from the other side. >"P-princess? Are you awake? I'm sorry to disturb you, but it's almost time." >Of course you're awake, you don't get to rule for over two thousand years by oversleeping, filly. "Don't worry, my little pony. I'm almost ready" >These meetings always made you a bit nervous, but thanks to some extra sleep you feel refreshed, and ready to face whatever those delegates have in store for you today. >"I-I hope you slept well, princess. I personally made sure no one even passed through these hallways, lest they accidentally woke you with their hoofsteps." >The maid's squeaky voice continues: >"W-with one exception. That little purple filly, I believe she's one of your students. She said she was in dire need of some book from the library near your chambers, so I let her pass. I hope she didn't disturb you." "Of course she didn't, but thanks for letting me know." >You hear the maid trotting away and you head towards the door as well, ready to go meet the delegates. >Stopping right at the threshold, you turn back. >A quick glance at the mirror couldn't hurt. --Sweetie Pie, pastry mare extraordinaire-- >From the lovely city of Baltimare. >No matter what, this slogan always sounds cringy. >But there is more important business at hoof now. >You've just finished setting up your stall in Canterlot's main square. >All sorts of cakes and pies are neatly disposed on the shelf, ready to attract passersby. >The gentle breeze blowing today is likely to aid in your selling, carrying the smell of your sweets over to the potential customers' picky nostrils. This is Canterlot after all. >Perhaps this year somepony of great importance will notice you. This event always brought along ponies from far and wide. >And not only ponies, but all sorts of creatures with tastes so different, that it's almost impossible you won't find someone who will salivate at the sight of your sweets. >After checking your stall one more time, you close your eyes for a second, inhale the fresh air of Canterlot and listen to the sound of the bustling square. >In a few minutes, it'll probably be accompanied by the sound of bits hitting the bottom of your cash register. A wide smile spreads across your features. >There is literally no reason why anything would go wrong today. At all. >Except >It's hot out here. Was it really this hot a moment ago? >Is it your imagination? >For some reason you find yourself watching in the castle's general direction. >Everything's normal. As it should be. >Until a blinding flash of light erupts from one of the towers, almost setting your retinas on fire. >Said tower is now ablaze and casting a bright light like the Sun itself. >While your vision is still hindered, your ears are pierced by an utterly terrifying shriek of anger that could likely come from Tartarus itself. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!! TWILIIIIIIIIGHT!" --Anon, best son for best mom-- >Laying in the castle gardens, you enjoy the stillness of this fine afternoon, away from the crowd. >A wide oak tree shades you from the sunlight, as you absent-mindedly draw to pass time. >Putting down your crayon, you stare at your masterpiece. >A drawing of your mother with an angry expression on her face soaring over the city, mane and tail ablaze, breathing fire. >It seems somehow fitting. >Perhaps even foreshadowing. >Slumping down on the grass, you let out a sigh. "Ugh, I'm booored" >You cast an edgewise glance at the castle. "Any minute now" >You mumble to yourself. >Right after, with the corner of your eye, you catch sight of your mother's private chambers explode in a bright flash of light, followed by a bellow of anger perfectly audible despite the considerable distance. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!! TWILIIIIIIIIGHT!" >Is what you hear. No, there's more: >"SO HELP MEEE! When I find you you'll become the Element of regret! Do you hear meeeee!?" >A smile spreads across your features. "Yup, she mad now." --Filly Twilight-- >You might have gotten yourself in trouble. >Hiding away in some alley, out of sight, you munch on a cherry pie you took from one of the stalls. >One of the best you've tasted actually, but this is of little consolation to you right now. >You wish you had bought more supplies. >Looks like you'll have to disappear for a while. >Gobbling down the rest of your pie, you let out a scream. "YOU LIED TO ME ANOOOOON!!!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Tears start to fall from mom's face as you walk. >You can't look back, you have to make mommy proud. >You are a man, a man dangit! >You have to be strong, just like Skeleton-man >As you walk away from mom, you start to feel something on your check >T-there is just some dust in your eyes, ok?! >What does Shining says? >All this dang rain is falling on you! >Yeah, that's it! >You run towards the school to your classroom and not to the hidden classroom away from others to cry or anything. "J-j-just look at him go Luna, he is growing so fast!" >"We see, dearest sister, how our dearest nephew is taking his first steps forward" "I-I swear that yesterday, he was on my arms, but now he is away fro-fro-from me!" >"You have to be strong, sister; this is just the beginning. From today forward, our dearest nephew will turn from a fine young foal to a fine stallion" "My dear baby" >You wipe your tears away from your face. >This happiness is mixed with sadness. >But, like your sister told you. >This is just the beginning for a new adventure ahead of all of you. >You are Princess Celestia, and today, your pride and joy started the 1st year of Elementary school. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh Luna, he-..he's grown up so fast! Can you believe his first day of school is here already?" >'Ehh, sister, we doth believe dear nephew has stated several times over that at his age, human males are recognized as adults.' >"He's just nervous about being away from his mommy & auntie is all. Once they break out the play doh and blocko's, he'll be fine." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, sweetheart, what did you do this time?" >'Mom, aren't you like, boss of the school? Can we please do away with these draconian 'code of conduct' laws?' >"Anonymous, nudity does NOT fall under 'freedom of expression', you are to remain clothed at all times on campus." >'Clothes are tyrannical and conformist, mom. Join me and cast of the shackles of your oppressors!' >"...We're not doing it in my office." >'Awww weak, that's like the one place we haven't done it yet.' >"I'm writing you an admittance slip back to class." >'...Love youuu~' >"Class. Now." She says kissing your cheek ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hey, one side, sweetheart!" >Just keep walking >"Ahhh c'mon! Frickin' sunday driver!" >'Mom, I'm-..I'm actually at a loss here, mom.' >"Less yappin' and make room for the faster traffic already, grandma!" >You're either going to have an aneurysm or die of laughter so you defer for the 'faster traffic' >"That's more like it." She gently quips as she put-puts past you in the hall >She's modded her 'throne' into a literal box car >She's like a big overgrown shriner horse without the fez-, and now she's wearing one >This is your monday >"NEPHEW! ONE SIDE, WE ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE OPERATING MANUAL FOR THIS CONTRAPTION!" >Your Aunt comes tearing down the hall in a similar 'mobility throne' ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'm going over there right now." Mom huffs >"This is NOT what I had in mind when I told him his Aunt would like to spend more time with him." >"Bed time stories my rear end! I know of no such tale that involves screaming 'OH YES, MORE, MORE, MORE'." ======================================================================================================================================= >searches anon's internet history >hfw it's all mother x son /gif/ >Last site visited: pornhoof.com >Specifically a porn parody of the royal family >Starring a dark-coated petite pegasus wearing a blue glittery mane-wig, a white-coated tall unicorn wearing a pastel rainbow wig and a Minotaur wearing a green body suit and facemask with an exclamation point on it >Login name: NoOneInParticular >Last comment: "Came, faved and saved. Whoever made this needs to make more." ======================================================================================================================================= >"RISE, NEPHEW!" >"NOW IS NOT THE HOUR FOR REST!" >Before you can raise protest she uses her magic to teleport the two of you outside >'W-where are we?' >"Detrot! But that is not important!" >'Detrot?! What the fu-' >"Now now, no thanks are necessary. We shall return come the morning." >'You're LEAVING me out here?' >"Oh dear nephew, the 'wilds' of this urban graveyard pale in comparison the...the horrors we witnessed in lunar orbital suspension." >'..Everything isn't like moon prison, Auntie.' >"EVERYTHING IS LIKE MOON PRISON!" >You're going to hide her damn cerebro helmet and all her KISS make up when you get back home ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom? Auntie?" >'Y-yes, my sunshine..b-beam?" >'WE ARE THE NIGHT, DARLING~' >"..You two look different today." >'Mom' begins to shift about nervously >'Ehh, ofcourse darl-, nephew. Uhh, we art both donning new crowns!' >"Oh. Ok, well um, that doesn't really explain why it looks like you both shrank." >'I h-have had it w-w-with your backsass, mister! Is mommy going to have to give you t-t-the stare?' >'This disrespect simply will not suffice! I have half a mi-, WE, I mean..your Aunt, have half a mind to just cuddle and kiss you into an apology right now!' >"Ok, easy there. I love the crowns and your new compact, fits-into-most-overhead-compartments look." >You lean down to give them both kisses >'T-that's more like it, young man.' >'Nephew, I...' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Aw, why is my little Sunshine so grumpy today?" >"Are you sad because summer is over?" >"Don't worry sweetheart, autumn is mommy's favorite season, I'm sure we'll have plenty of fun together!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Grrr~ I'm like one of those mommy tigers carrying you, huh sweetie?" >'Mom, I'm 30.' >"And you'll keep being mommy's baby until you're 30,000." ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-this next one is dedicated to the special man in my life *hic*, t-the only man I'll ever need.." >Oh god >"H-he's here tonight, I'd- I'd like for him to come up on stage and sing along with me." >OH GOD >"Anonymous, sweetheart *hic*, c'mon, d-don't be shy, come up here with mommy." >Rainbow Dash immediately clambers atop the stage trying to get the mic >"H-hey let's hear it for Principal Celestia, right?" >Mom jerks it away, holding a cup of spiked punch in her other hand >"Ms. Dash, please, we all sat through the caterwauling of your rainbooms, t-take your *hic* seat." >"DJ Mix Master Mute Cutie, if you would please." >The mute DJ nods and begins to play the next track >"Anenome, d-don't make me ashk twice." She says holding out her hand https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY ======================================================================================================================================= >Mom surveys the buffet laid out for the palace denizens breakfast >It's got everything >and it came without packages, ribbons or tags, it wasn't in paper, boxes, or bags! >except one thing >"..Anonymous, sweetie, do you see any of the-, you know what I mean, the little donuts with the sprinkles I like?" >You're loading up on griffon delicacies and say through a mouthful of breezie sammich "Mmph I fhink twhylih goh da lash one, mom" ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Anon, and your mom just called you into her office. >Not sure why, you didn't do anything. >Well, not this time anyway. "Okay mom, I'm here. Now what did you..." >And that is Twilight over your mom's knee. >"Oh there you are sunshine. I'll just be a minute. I'm just teaching Twilight here a lesson, you can have a seat over there till I'm done." >Slightly mesmerized, you sit down but don't take your eyes off the scene before you. >You watch as your mom brings her hand down onto Twilight's ass. >The sound of the slap fills the office and you can see her but cheeks start to redden. >She bites her lip to stiffle a cry why closing her eyes. >If you didn't know better, you'd swear that her cries started to sound more like moans. >This is... honestly kinda hot. >Oh shit- you feel your dick start to react. >You quickly throw your backpack onto your lap to try and hide your arousal. >After a few minutes of this, and a very red Twilight butt later, your mom stops and allows Twilight to get up. >She slowly stands while rubbing her very sore ass. >"There, now that Miss Sparkle's punishment is out of the way, we can begin sweetheart." "Actually, I need to... go... to the bathroom- yeah, to the bathroom. I'll be right back!" >You get up while still holding your bag over your painfully hard cock and slowly walk out the door. >Can't let them know you got hard watching your mom spank the girl who is always hitting on you. >But you do know what you will be jacking off to tonight. >Be Twilight. "That really hurt." >"I'm sorry, but it had to be as real as possible. Trust me, he will be thinking about this for a while." "That's fine. It'll all be worth it if I can get into his pants." >"I beg your pardon?" >She asks taising an eyebrow. >Shit! "I-I mean, courting and wooing him like he deserves." >"Of course. Now back over the knee for the getting into his pants comment." "Uggh." >"That just earned you double the spankings little missy." ======================================================================================================================================= >"W-we'll be together soon, Anonymous." >Twilight Smeagol lovingly strokes the effigy she made of you >"Stupid Anon's mom, WE HATES IT! RUINS EVERYTHING!" ======================================================================================================================================= >T-there's Prince Anon in the skybox watching with his mom & aunt >Oh ponyfeathers he looked this way >Quick, stretch and look sexy an shit >Yeah, keep looking, you royal stud..you probably want me when I'm all sweaty an- >"RAINBOW FUCKING DASH, SO HELP ME IF YOU DO NOT QUICK FUCKING ZONING OUT ON MY COURSE I WILL FORCE FEED YOU K-RATIONS AND TAPE YOUR TAIL OVER YOUR ASS!" >'M-MA'AM, YES MA'AM!' >You hope he didn't see that ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia intercepts any and all love letters addressed to Anon >She would forward any letters from suitors she sees fit for her son's attention, but she's yet to find a single one >Anon starts getting depressed, thinks no-one likes him and he'll end up old and alone one day >She tries setting anon up on dates she approves of, for now, to cheer him up >They're either someone anon knows so well that dating them feels weird, or are very dull and safe choices >Anon doesn't seem very happy >So tell me again why you agreed to this? You're mother wants to unite our kingdoms. > But..... You have a cock. Is that gonna be a problem? >Not if you're the bottom. ... ======================================================================================================================================= >"P-princess Celestia? Anonymous?" Twilight calls out as she walks the palace's main hall >"Forgive my intrusion, but the main entrance was unguarded, h-hello?" >As she nears the throne room she passes an odd suit of armor she never noticed before >"Strange, I don't remember that being here. I wonder if it belongs to Anonymous." >"H-he'd look so handsome in that as he'd gallantly arrive on scene to save me fr-" >'BOO!' the 'suit' exclaims as it bursts into flames >"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Twilight screams, fleeing the palace >'Chh, "Anonymous would look sooo handsome in that~". My son WISHES he looked this good.' >"And then I was like 'Heh, nothing personnel, kid', and I shot the oxygen tank the ninja shark was chomping on." >'She said it wasn't anything like that, dad.' >"She WOULD say that, hell, I'd be scared to if'n I got a load of this!" He says about to do the whole fiery eye thing >"IFFFF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!-" >"Fuck, I'm getting dizzy..oooh, oh god, I'm getting old, I can't even do the fiery eye thing." >'Bullshit, dad, everyone has their off days.' >"Anonymous, don't encourage him." Mom says between sips of her coffee ======================================================================================================================================= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaSqqTRStt0 >"Is something wrong sweetheart?" >You breathe hard out your nose, and fight your shivering. "M-mom. Why a-are you wearing that?" >Momlestia looks over herself as if she doesn't see what the fucking problem is. >"I'm not sure what you mean dear. It's cold. I merely put on a sweater, and some leg warmers." "THOSE...are stockings." >She seductively stretches out giving you a perfect view of every curve, of her smooth, pink pearl body. >"Don't they look nice on me though?" "Th-that's not the point!" >"Then what is the point?" > Unable to take it anymore,your beastial instincts shove your reasoning aside. >You turn her onto her back, and position yourself between her legs. >"Oh my. This is quite the predicament. What is it that you plan to do to me?" >She smiles with lowered eyes. "I'm going to make you my mare m-mom." >"Don't call me Mom. Not anymore. We're not related by blood. Call me--" >You lean in and start peppering her long neck with kisses, getting hushed gasps and moans. >"Celestia..." ------------------------------------ >You shut Anon's journal loudly, face beet red. "I seriously need to stop reading his book. This is all so...so taboo!" >You slide it back under his mattress, and prepare to leave the room. "......Well maybe one more." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Ready to workout sunshine?" >"Yes nephew, I have noticed a bit of a paunch in you midsection. Most likely due to your mother's cooking." >"Oh hush Lulu. Anon is still a growing boy, and so what if he prefers my food to yours." >"Only because you bribe him with cake every meal." >"As if I need to. Your cooking is so bad we must order out every time you're supposed to make something." "Mom, Auntie! Can we just workout please?" ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia has a peaceful drink out of one of the castle's beautiful water features >Just then her son leaps onto get back from the top of the fountain >With the slap of her rump she takes off, bucking and braying in full view of the visiting dignitaries. >The dignitaries are in shock at the lack of reaction from Luna or the guards. >Eventually she bucks anon off and he goes tumbling into the grass. >Celestia trots over to son with smug superiority before nuzzling him > " 8 seconds, that's your best time yet but nowhere near what it takes to beat me. >Anon hugs his mother's face. >It's quite the living scene until a minotaur jumps into celestia's back in an attempt to ride. >She bucks him off immediately. >The guards fall upon him in murderous rage. >As does Luna >As does anon >War is declared in the minotaur kingdom. >There are little to no survivors of the minotaur genocide. No one rides celestia but her son. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, you got a letter from Princess Fatlight 'Eat all the donuts' Dorkle." >'Oh I swear if it's about that stupid table map again..' >'Let's see..'dear princess celestia, blah blah blah, Starlight Glimmer yadda yadda hypnotize- HA!' >"I take it her student's lessons are going just great, huh?" >Mom smirks >'I told her, princesshood is more than just waving and cakes. Speaking of..Anonymous, check mommy's schedule, would you?' >"You don't have any waving or cakes scheduled right now, mom." >'...Weak.' ======================================================================================================================================= >Sauntering down one of the countless hallways of Canterlot castle, you make your way to your mother's chambers. >Whistling a happy tune, you turn left and walk down another corridor. This place truly feels like a maze. But while foreigners easily get lost in here, you know this place by heart. >You've lived here since when you can remember, in fact being brought here shortly after your mother found you. >You are Anonymous, adoptive son of princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria. >Although to you, she is just mom. Mom who found you, alone and lost. Mom who took you in, and loved you like you were her own. >But while those memories, the days of your childhood, are still somehow vivid in your mind, plenty of time has passed. >The child who used to play and harass the guards on patrol in these very hallways has now grown up, and become a man. >A man that's going to her mother's room bearing a proud look on his face, holding a letter in his hand. >A letter that will likely change your life, and your mother's as well. >Being admittedly stronger than most ponies, at least on the physical side, you decided to try and join the Royal Guard. >While you didn't need to do it to make a living, you still wanted to try. After all these years you felt the need to repay your mother for all she's done for you, and joining the corps whose very purpose was to protect her seemed only fitting to you. >Of course, you passed the test with flying colors. Physical strenght could not go unnoticed in the Earth Pony division. >Because only unicorn recruits are trained in Canterlot, you'll have to leave for some time. >Oh, your mom will be so proud of you when you'll show her this letter. >Passing by one of the stained glass windows your mother loved so much, (and you may or may not have accidentally broken a few times when you were little) you notice that the Sun is still quite high over the horizon, although its light has already shifted to the reddish shade of sunset. >Strange. You could have sworn it was later in the evening. The Sun should have set already. >Your train of thought is lost as you find yourself in front of your mother's door. You got here without even paying attention, almost as if your feet moved on their own accord. >But the chuckle you would have let out never leaves your throat, your attention caught by less cheerful sounds. >Muffled sobs are coming from the other side of the door. Looking around, you check if you ended in front of the wrong door. Perhaps you took a wrong turn and.. >No. This is indeed your mother's room. >As your mind fills with more somber thoughts, you turn the doorknob, not even bothering to knock. >As the thick wooden door cracks open, the smell hits your nose. It's the one of old paper and ink, though it's far more strong than you remember, and it's mixed with something else, more pungent. >Alcohol. >Poking your head inside, you immediately notice the utter mess that is your mom's room. >All of her paperwork, that always used to sit so neatly and meticulously organized on her desk, is now scattered across the room. A few inkwells are tipped over, their content spilled all over her desk, staining the few papers that were still there before dripping on the floor. >As your eyes scan the room, you silently step inside, your mind still unable to process what you're seeing here. >Not too far away from you, laying on the once pristine white marble floor, are several bottles of wine. Some of them empty, some of them still half full. >Puddles of wine extend from the broken ones, staining the floor and the nearby carpet. >You can't help but notice that these bottles are not regular ones. Judging by their labels, these were some of the finest and most expensive wines you could find. >Probably coming from the royal reserve, and worth thousands of bits. >Mom used to keep them for very special occasions... >Following the trail of bottles, your gaze finally sets on your mother's bed, where you can clearly discern her form, bathed in the low light. >She just lies there, her body splayed on the bed and her muzzle buried in a pillow. >While your mind is still shocked at the sight, you manage to ignore the lump in your throat as you speak. "M-mom? Is everything alright?" >As you utter these few words, her body flinches. She didn't even notice your presence until now. >Her ears perk up and she raises her head to look at you. >It takes her a few moments to realize that you're in front of her, but as soon as she does, her sorrowful expression turns into one of shock. >"S-sunshine?" >She just stares at you, wide-eyed and with her mouth agape, before charging her horn, likely to teleport away from here. >Though the strain is evident on her face, only a few weak spurts of energy come out, and the spell fails. >The wine is likely taking its toll. >Without thinking twice, you sprint toward her, kicking a few bottles and almost tripping on your way toward her bed. >You hop on the bed and scoop her up in your arms, before laying her on your lap. "M-mom, what's wrong? W-why are you crying? What happened?" >Her head briefly turns to look at you, and you are met with two puffy, red and glistening eyes. >Her mouth moves slightly, but no words come out, instead replaced by unintelligible mumbles. >Being at a loss for words, she just buries her face in the crook of your neck, and you can feel more tears soaking your shirt. >Unable to think of anything else to do, you just wrap her in a hug, and start to gently cradle her, your arms around her withers, holding her tight against your chest. >As you look around one more time, you notice a single paper, stained with tears, laying on the bed beside you. It has a familiar look, and when you pick it up to examine it, realization hits you like a truck. >It's the same letter you received a few hours ago. Only it's not yours. You put your letter in your pocket before opening the door. >Of course she would receive a letter as well, it's /her/ personal guard after all... >Your mind quickly puts the pieces together, and you suddenly begin to understand. >As if sensing it, your mother finally speaks, although between sighs and sobs. >"I-I'm so sorry, Sunshine.. you shouldn't have seen me l-like this.." "M-mom, why?" >"I'm h-happy you passed the t-test, I really am. I'm so proud of you, my little Sunshine." "Then why are you crying? What's the meaning of all of this?" >You say, making a gesture with one arm, as if she could see it with her face still pressed against you. "I'm not leaving until you tell me, mom." >She wiggles a little and breaks free from your hug, looking you in the eyes. >Seeing the seriousness and determination on your face, she lets out a sigh, then puts a hoof on your chest and starts caressing it, her touch ever so gentle. >She closes her eyes as tears begin to flow again, and she starts to speak, this time with a far less trembling voice. >"M-mommy just got a little emotional thinking about her son, and how quickly he grew up to become the man who's holding me right now." >"W-when you have lived as long as I have, time starts to mean little to you, and you give it almost no importance, y-you don't understand its value." >"It just goes by, and when you look back, you feel like you didn't miss anything." >"But ever since you arrived into my life, things changed. They changed more than I could possibly have imagined." >"Time suddenly got a new meaning, especially the one we spent together." >As your mother explains, you just remain silent, caressing her neck and her now barely flowing mane, curling its silky strands around your fingers. As a kid, you always did it before falling asleep in your mother's bed. Even now, after all these years, it's still one of the most relaxing things you can think of. The way her mane flows, the way it feels on your bare skin, like a liquid breeze, it always felt almost otherwordly. >As you yourself start getting lost in your memories, your mother continues. >"But no matter how much time we spent together, it seemed to fly away. I didn't realize it in the process, but now, if I look back, it feels like yesterday. And no matter how many fond memories I have, I feel like I haven't enjoyed my time enough. I feel like I could have done more, savored every moment, and I didn't. And now, now I can't do it anymore." >"My little Sunshine is a man now, and he's ready to leave." >She cups your cheeks with her hooves, and looks at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. >"And I'll be alone again, just as I was before I found you. My days will once again go by without any meaning, and my time will lose its value again." "But, mom, it's only for a few months, I.. I won't be gone forever!" >"I know, Anon. B-but.." "But what, mom? Please, tell me, I can't stand seeing you like this" >"Please, Anon.." >She wraps her forelegs around your back and pulls you in a hug, wrapping her wings around your body as well. With your face buried in her chest, you manage to hear her finish, her voice now reduced to a whisper. >"...Please don't leave me" >You both sit there, never breaking the embrace, you don't know for how long. Time itself seemed to stop flowing. >You actually didn't expect your mother to feel this way about you, like you were the only good thing in her life. You can't help but feel a pang of guilt in your chest. >Now it's your turn to break free from the hug and, with little surprise, you find tears welling up in your eyes too. >Looking each other in the eyes for a while longer, you both bask in each other's presence. >You're the first to avert your eyes and, having made up your mind, you reach in your pocket for the letter. >Taking it out, you put it together with her copy and then fold them in half. "You know what, I don't need any training to protect you. Besides.." >You tear them apart and throw the pieces away. "Military was never my thing anyway." >Your mother looks at you, dumbfounded. >It takes her a few moments to realize what you just did. >You smile at her. "I'll never leave you, mom." >Tears start to well up in her eyes again, but this time they're tears of joy. >Before she can even say anything, you pull her in a hug again. >Wiping your eyes, you continue: "Now, enough tears for today. I believe you still have a Sun to lower." >Your mother lets out a chuckle. >"Oh shush. The Sun can wait. My little suns... my son, is more important than anything else." "Yeah, I'm sure the ponies won't mind the Sun staying up a little longer. Except Twilight, she's probably freaking out already." >You both chuckle at the thought, your sadness forgotten. "And, mom?" >"Yes, Anon?" "No matter how old I am, I will always be your little Sunshine." >"Oh, I love you so much, Anon!" "I love you too, mom." ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'm so glad we could find the time to do this Prince Anonymous." "Twilight, we've known eachother since we were kids. How many times do I have to tell you to just call me Anon?" >She giggles and smiles at you. >"At least one more time." >You both share a laugh. >Her calling you by your title and you correcting her has become an inside joke after all these years. >Oh yeah, you're Anon and you're currently sitting down with your best friend and marefriend Twilight. >Things have been tough lately though. >You both saw a lot of eachother when you were in school together. >But then she said she had to move to Ponyville. >It had to do with being close to her new friends, the Elements of Harmony. >Which was good in a way, because she really only ever interacted with her brother, your mom, and you. >But still, it made your relationship into a long distance one. >To make matters worse, it seems like one or both of you is always busy so you can never get together. >Which makes nights like this all the more special. >"So, do you know what you'd like to order yet?" "No, but I think I know what you'll get." >"You haven't even looked at the menu yet." "I don't need a menu to know you're going to get a hayburger with pickles, extra ketchup and for some reason mayo with a large order of fries." >"I'll have you know that mayo is a more than acceptable topping for a burger. If it wasn't, then they wouldn't offer it. At least I don't dip my fries in shakes like somepony." >You both share another laugh. >You missed this, just the two of you having a good time together. >It honestly feels at times that the world itself is conspiring againgst you two being together. >You reach your hand out and squeeze her hoof and earning a smile from her. >But tonight it's just you two with nothing to possibly- >"I thought that was you two." >You both look to the door and see your mom walking into the restaurant. >"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." >"Actually, we were just about to order dinner... for our date." >Twilight says, seeming to force a smile. >For some reason, your mom or somepony always shows up when you and Twilight happen to find tome together. >You love your mom, but you love marefriend too. >"Oh what a coincidence. I cane here to eat too. I've been stuck with dignitaries all day and have eaten yet." >Your mom says and just stares at the two of you. >You smile back at her and subtly look at Twilight. >Your eyes meet and she silently sighs while nodding slightly. "Would you like to join us mom?" >"I wouldn't dream of interrupting your date night sunshine." >She says but still stays by the side of your table. >"Don't be ridiculous. We'd... love to have you join us." >Twilight says extending her hoof towards the table. >"Well if you both insist. Who am i to refuse my son and favorite pupil's offer to join them." >She says while taking a seat right next to you in the booth. >So much for your date night. >Maybe you can try again next month when both of your schedules are free again. ======================================================================================================================================= >You give your mother a half hearted smile and nod your head slightly >It was like this every year, and every season >She'd promise the two of you would spend a lot of time together >You weren't dumb nor the naive kid you were all those years ago >At the ripe age of 10 you've come to learn and understand your pony mother >She was of course an important pony >THE ruler of the Equestria. >Yet as time would go on, her countless amounts of promises of 'having fun together' would rarely ever arise >So what you were getting at was...... >You've begun to doubt your own mother >All her empty words and promises now fell on your saddened at regrettably hopeful ears >Knowing damn well only a small amount of those promises would be fulfilled >However you knew for a fact that she was ruling the country all by herself >She was constantly stressed and had somewhat acquired a small frown on her face just about everywhere she'd walk >You noticed from the get go, though the oblivious masses never noticed your mothers changed demeanor >Anyways you digress >Your mother gives you a small peck on the cheek and tucks you in "Don't worry sweetie, tomorrow morning Autumn will be here." Your mother pauses with a smile. "Sweet dreams my sun I love you dearly." >And with that she gives you one last hug and kiss and walks to the door and stops in front of it >Upon not hearing you reply back to here wishes of 'good nights or love yous' she sighs and leaves the room >You hear the door open and close and let out a sigh >"Love you too mom..." You say to the empty room >Her lies had somewhat made you numb and her promises always left bitterness in your heart >For whenever she would wish you goodnights, it was easier to fane sleeping then to face the sad reality of your growing depression >You could say you've become quite the arse, and should be thrown to the deepest parts of tartarus for the way you've been acting >Your mother loved you so much and you anon knew damn well what you were doing to her was slowly killing her emotionally >Some wouldn't blame you for being so cold to her >I mean she did break the majority of her promises, and if anything her 'tries' of making it up to you with pathetic excuses of 'familial bonding' >That of course would be interrupted by certain states of emergencies that seemed all to frequent to your liking >Just when you think everything is going perfect Celestia is already on her way....back to ruling the country >Leaving you alone once again >Eventually anon you came to the conclusion that you were a sad selfish fool that wanted his mothers attention at all times >And you would fill your head with faux ideas that any growing kid needs attention and that you weren't lashing out in desperation for a form of love you were to blind in your delusion to see >You just wanted to be loved and to have your own mother to yourself >Even when you knew no matter how hard you tried she would always put her ponies over you her human son >That's what your inner conscious would say anyways.... >Such an abomination such as yourself the heir to the kingdom >Knowing damn well Celestia would outlive you by thousands of years >The title prince being just for show and that you were nothing more than a front if anything >A shiver went up your spine as the cold wind slipped through your bedrooms open window >It stung your skin leaving an uncomfortable feeling throughout your small body >With a sigh you get up out of bed that your mother so lovingly tucked you into and lethargically walked to the window >As you approached the window with intention to close it >You couldn't help but look out and admire the view >Canterlot in all its night glory, lights of many colors and shapes adorning all over the tall white buildings >Ponies walking about, looking like ants due to the height of the castle >As you looked about a heart crushing sight caught your eye >A mother and her foal out for a night stroll, most likely on their way home >They looked so happy and full of life being together that you felt resentment towards the two >In an instant you smash the window shut in for of minor hysteria and walk back to bed >It wasn't their fault they had no worries >It wasn't their fault your mother was slaving away for them to be happy >It wasn't their fault that Celestia was so invested in her country all the damn time >It wasn't their fault that because of her sacrifices that they can be together and happy >All of it was to much for your fragile little mind >Hell at such an age you would think that these issue would be the least of your worries >But growing up with the worlds most powerful being has taught you a lot about life and excelled your maturation mentally >Though you were still a kid, one that wanted his mommy more then ever >A kid who wanted to be held and kissed till all his worries melted away >Such false wishes always tore at you, but you couldn't help but wish they would come true ======================================================================================================================================= >"..'His strong hands had slowly, teasingly worked their way to her wings'.." >"'Y-you really need this, don't you, mom?' He asked." >"'Anonymous, my son..' She whis-...*sigh* damnit.." >"Can I help you with something, Twilight?" ======================================================================================================================================= "This is a bad idea." >You sit with crossed arms, bottom lip poked out in pure disagreement. >Celestia bumps you with her side. >"Now don't pout dear. Twilight wanted to play this game for her birthday with her friends." >You look around the room, and spot only you, Mom, Luna, Shining Armor and Cadence. Not one of her Ponyville friends are here." >You give Momlestia a look, while sinking into your cushion. >Twilight has been reading a bunch of Japonies manga recently, and said the only present she'd want from you is to play "the king's game" for her birthday. >You're no fool. You played Persona 4. >If it meant not having to spend money on her thirsty ass, you'd do it, but only if she had others playing it.(She initially suggested that only you nad her play it, the creep) >So here you are in the study gathered around a table flanked by your aunts, and those other losers. >Cadence waves to you, and Shining grins stupidly. >Go sell some toys,whores. >"Okay, does everypony know the rules?" >Twilight looks at you hungrily. >Luna raises a hoof. >"So the one who draws the "king stick" gets to beat whomever she chooses to death?" >Everyone groans loudly. "No. You issue orders to specific numbers, and they have to do it, like "3 hug 2", Then you do a new round redrawing sticks." >Luna ponders your words for a moment. >"Okay let's draw sticks everypony!" >You lean in towards mom. "This is a seriously bad idea mom. She's gonna make me do something weird!" >Mom cocks an eyebrow at you. >"Oh Anon! You're so paranoid! She just wants to try out her little game! Just try to relax and have fun." >You grumble. >You see the sticks get surrounded in each individual aura, and fly from the cup. >"I HAVE FIVE!" >Everyone looks at Luna, as you grab the last stick while they're all distracted. >Don't want Sporkle knowing your number. >"Sister, you don't tell what your number is--" >Luna looks at her stick a few times, and at the rest of the room. >".....Oooohhhh." >You glance at your stick. >4. >Purple eyes burning into you from across the room, tell you a certain grape horse is trying to figure out what your number is. >"Looks like I'm the king!" >Shining whinnys in delight. >What is he so happy about? >Cadence seems to be thinking the same thing. >The stallion looks around the table with a devious smile. >"Let's see...6 sit on 4's lap!" >Your mouth twitches. >Twilight is zoomed in on her stick. Her ears falls after a few moments. >God has not abandoned you yet. >"I-I'm 6." >Your eyes widen as you look to Momlestia, who is holding her stick up in her yellow magical glow. "I'm 4..." >She looks to you and gasps, her face turning pink. "I told you this was bad..." >She frowns, and stands up, while the "king" watches licking his lips. >The princess moves over you, and gently sits down on your lap with shut eyes. >Your eyes roll back, as you pray to the god of erections to not bless you this one time. >But wow. Her booty is so plump, and full. The buttcheeks fit perfectly on your growing pole, like the front of garfield's face, and-- "Aw shit." >"I-is something wrong son?" "NO." >She fidgets. PLEASE STOP MOM. >"Is there a dagger in your pocket?" "HOW LONG DOES SHE HAVE TO BE HERE?!" >"J-just a little longer...unf." >Shining is doing something suggestive under the table, but a loud meaty clop slap from his wife settles that. >"New round!" >Twilight snatches everyone's stick, and returns them to the cup shuffling the numbers, as Celestia gets off of you. >You cover your erection, not noticing the wetspot left over. >Celestia takes a few deep breaths, and smiles at you. >"S-see? That wasn't that b-bad." >Jesus christ! Just to get those twin suns back on your lap-- "Nnh..." >You can't look her in the eyes. >Celestia looks away as well awkwardly. >Twilight glares hard at the two of you with gritted teeth. >"DRAW! DRAW DRAW DRAW!" >Everyone takes a stick, you and mom shakingly grabbing yours. >2. >"HUZZAH! WE HAVE A CROWN!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Good morning sunshine. I hope you slept well." "Mom! What the hell are you wearing!?" >"I seem to have forgotten to pack some pajamas for our camping trip, so I just improvised." "Mom, you can't wear that outside your tent! W-what if someone saw you?" >"Relax Mr. Worry-Wart. There isn't another person around for miles. Well, except for Aunt Luna that is. By the way, she forgot her pajamas too but she has a thing about either wearing pajamas or nothing at all when she sleeps." >You hear her tent zipper come undone and your naked aunt walks out in all her glory. >Her proportions are just a little smaller than your mom's, but still impressive. >... >Not that you're checking out your mom or aunt mind you. >"Morning Lulu. Sleep well?" >"Good morning Tia, sleep could have been better. I think I may have slept on a rock though. Is the coffee ready? Oh, good morning Anonymous, did you sleep well?" "I-I ugh, think I forgot something in my tent." >You need to get out of here before they see your growing erection. >Let's not make this more awkward than it already is. ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia kidnaps Anon >She gives a speech about how, at her age, everyone is a foal to her >More accurately, they're like HER foals to her >She takes it as her role to make sure they're happy and healthy under her watchful eye >But Anon is "special". Something about him calls out to her >Anon is a little bit terrified that a delusional, all-powerful, literal goddess wants to take him home like a lost puppy >Knows he can't overpower her or force her to do anything, so he tries to reason with her >He's an adult; he has a job; a home; he doesn't need a mother >Celestia just smiles and boops him on the nose with a wingtip >"Let's go home, Sunshine." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, please, you HAVE a throne." >"Yes but you don't understand my sunshine. That throne isn't only for pretty princesses." >You think for a moment. "So you mean to tell me, that the throne with thousands of guards protecting it. That only one pony is allowed to sit in. Is out ranked by a box with word's on it?" >"Of course." >... "Okay then, I'm going to go bug aunt Luna." >"Mom, your throne has a seatwarmer and cupholders." >'Anonymous, we've been over this, WHAT does my box read?' >"..It says 'Pretty Princess'." >'Does it say that on the throoone~?' >"It does no-" >'NO, IT DOES NOT.' >She starts up her literal box cart throne that now somehow magically has wheels >'We're done here, sweetheart.' She says revving the engine >Luna sets up a box that says "ruttable, beautiful princess sit here" >Celestia counters with "ready to rut right now sexy princess sit here" >Luna retorts with "will suck you dry ultra mega sexy princesses sit here" >Celestia bounces back with "Human sex toy nasty nasty mega ultra super hot as the sun, buttsex gorgeous princesses sit here" Which box do you approach? >Which box do you approach >"Oh god, why can't I just ever have a normal thursday in this house." >Twilight shows up in a dingy cardboard box >"Twilight, yours still has 'only futa princesses', get out of here." >Then in a puff of smoke Discord is there in his own box which reads "Only rad uncles with awesome nephews can sit in this box." >"Come now Anon, isn't the obvious choice to hang with your rad uncle Discord as detailed by this fine piece of carboard? Why, I could show you around town to all the coolest hangouts only me and the most rad and cool ponies know about!" >He leans in to whisper in your ear. >"Not to mention introduce a strapping young stallion such as yourself to all the eager mares~" >Unforuntanatly your mom and aunt still hear him, leading to an all-out war. >Twilight is busy all the while crossing out and writing over the text on her box. >"Only smart princesses that know the Ponysutra in and out can sit in this box!" >She flexes in a way you were sure a pony shouldn't be able to bend, showing off her goods. "You're not fucking helping TwiPig!" >But before she could respond she is drawn into the other royals fight, all of them changing their boxes to increasingly more provocative promises, all of which just serves to make you more sweaty. >Respectivly these are the last things you saw on the boxes before you just left them to their own devices. >"Only smoking hot and super beautiful princesses with the tightest pussies only reserved for their nephew can sit in this box!" >"Only sex goddess with an endless libido to pleasure their son for as long as they want can sit in this box!" >"Only mega ultra smart princesses that knows ever possible kink and fetish ever conceived can sit in this box!" >Only the most radically cool of the uncles who can hook up nephews with not just any mare but any girl from any species ever can sit in this box!" >You hear a thumping noise like something is being dropped behind you. >"Ahem." >Calls a familiar voice. >You turn and find your cousin Cadance is standing next to a box that says "Only hot MILFs who cuck their husbands for their equally hot cousins can sit in this box." "Damnit Cadance! You too? You have a baby at home." >"Oh no, she's right here." >She points to her side and you see her daughter in a smaller box with crayon scribbles all over it and Flurry Heart with a crayon in her mouth. >You don't even want to know what that's supposed to say. ======================================================================================================================================= >Luna sets up a box that says "ruttable, beautiful princess sit here" >Celestia counters with "ready to rut right now sexy princess sit here" >Luna retorts with "will suck you dry ultra mega sexy princesses sit here" >Celestia bounces back with "Human sex toy nasty nasty mega ultra super hot as the sun, buttsex gorgeous princesses sit here" Which box do you approach? >Both the princesses stare at you in anticipation, having run out of ideas about what to write on their respective boxes to lure you into them. >They also ran out of space to write more, as the boxes are now completely covered in scribbles. You couldn't read half of them, but you definitely got the gist. >Words like "ruttable", "hot as the sun", "sex goddess" were pretty self-explanatory, and didn't leave much to the imagination. >Were they trying to bribe you with sex? >Silly pony princesses and their antics. >Like Sunbutt treating you like a child. Her child, no less. >And Moonbutt becoming jealous and wanting to be your aunt or something. >They should thank the fact that they're just too cute, otherwise you may have thought they were creepy. >But seriously, how could you say no to them? Even now, they were just looking at you with their big puppy eyes and pouty lips that were also quivering, for good measure. >Hnnnnng. >Were they serious about sex, though? Or were they joking? >Eh, guess you're fine either way. Incestuous threesome with two demigoddesses? Count me in. >Guess who's the creepy one now? >Oh well. >Now, decisions decisions. What do? >You can't find it in your heart to choose one and leave the other. Not when they're looking at you like that, with their ears droopy, and sad, yet hopeful expressions on their faces. >You have to buy some time to think of something. "Uh, what's with the boxes anyway? Don't you have thrones or something?" >"Indeed we do, dear nephew. However, our thrones lack any writing attesting the qualities by which we are entitled to sit on them." >You raise an eyebrow, and look at Sunbutt for confirmation. Celestia briefly rolls her eyes before speaking. >"Luna means that our thrones don't say we're pretty" >She says, proudly tapping with a hoof on the side of her box, where the original writing was, now barely recognizable. "Only pretty princesses get in this box" >Oh, that makes sense. In a silly pony sort of way. "Sooo, are you just going to sit there all day?" >"Yes." They both respond in unison. >Ok, they've officially lost their mind. >"Now, enough questions, Anonymous. Come here and snuggle up to your hot as the sun mommy." >"N-no! Don't listen to her! Come here, in the sweet embrace of your..." - Luna fumbles with her marker, uncapping it and scribbling something more on her box - "Y-your very, VERY ruttable auntie!" >You facepalm. >Nope, none of this shit. Time to choose option 3, a.k.a get the fuck out of here and go fetch Twilight "Problem solver" Sparkle, have her and her friends come here and sing a mediocre song about friendship that will surely knock some sense into the two princesses' thick, horned heads. >Yeah, that'll do. >Without looking specifically in either of the crazy princesses' directions you just take a deep breath. "Ok, I think I've made up my mind" >"R-really?" They both exclaim. "Eeenope" >You say, channeling your inner Big Mac before hightailing the fuck out of the throne room. >"W-what? N-no!" >For a moment they seem confused by your masterful ruse, but they quickly recover. >"You come back here this instant young man!" Celestia exclaims. >"WE WILL NOT BE DENIED!" Luna thunders on full royal capslock voice. >Ah-ha! They didn't want to get out of those fucking boxes, so now they can't chase you! >Unbeknownst to you, their horns begin to glow, and you realize magic was being cast only when the buzzing sound becomes loud. >Still running towards the door at the speed of kenyans, you turn around to see what the fuck they did with their magic and- >Oh what the FUCK! Are those fucking WHEELS? Did they really make their fucking cardboard boxes grow fucking wheels? >And are they really coming after you faking the engine sound with their mouths? >This is fucking ridiculous. >You make it just in time to the door and shut it, pressing your back against the wooden surface. >You close your eyes and brace for the inevitable impact, but it never comes. >All you can hear are, in fact, disappointed princess noises coming from the other side. >This is madness. >You know what? Fuck it, the purple one can't be trusted. She was smitten with you, you fucking knew it. Some of your underwear always went missing whenever she was visiting the castle. She was probably the craziest of them all. She might as well decide to side with your enemy, and then you'll be fucked. Both metaphorically AND physically. >Luna and Celestia you wouldn't mind, but fucking Twilight? Fuck no. >You'll have to fight this battle alone. And you'll need a weapon. >The most powerful and dreaded weapon known to Ponyland. >Your trusted cold water spray bottle. >Alas, you kept it hidden in your room, and right now you were pretty far from it. >Quite the predicament. These doors were the only thing keeping at bay the two princesses, and your body was the only thing keeping them closed. Were you to leave, they would be on you in a matter of seconds. >On the other hand though, it couldn't take long for them to realize they could teleport outside. >Visualizing in your mind the route to your room, you prepare to run. >You slowly move away from the doors just a few inches, to test if they could somehow feel it if you weren't holding them closed anymore. >Nothing happens. >You ready yourself. "Here goes nothing" >You sprint down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible. >Gotta go faster Sanic. >By the time you reach the first turn you hear the doors bursting open, their hinges creaking. >"Heeeere comes Celly!!" >Shit! >Dashing down the hallway, you try to go even faster. >They're getting closer, you can feel it, but you don't dare looking back. >At the next turn, you almost knock over two guards on patrol, but you manage to dodge them at the last second, continuing your run. >The same can't be said for your pursuers if the crashing noise, screams and curses are anything to go by. >This will give you some advantage, until you make it to.. >The stairs! They can't follow you up the stairs with those cursed wheeled boxes! >And they've realized it too, judging by the groans of irritation coming from behind you. >Panting, you start going up said stairs, without slowing down. >"Curses!" >"Get him, guards!" >Oh, it seems they recruited those two guys from before and.. >"Witness meee!!!!!!!!!!!" >You turn back just in time to see a guard screaming as he flies towards you, encased in a blue aura, his mouth foaming and covered in what looked like spray whipped cream. >You dodge him, and continue to run. >The second one is sent flying towards you shortly after, this time enveloped in a golden aura, but you manage to dodge him as well. >"I am awaited!!! I am awaited in Ponhalla!!!!!!!" >You hear him bellow, before ending face-first into the wall. >"Ouch" >Now almost at the top of the stairs, you don't stop running. >Judging by the sound of metal horseshoes coming from behind you the princesses had left their boxes, clearly more interested in getting you than being acknowledged as pretty. >But you have enough lead over them now, and your room is near. >It's just at the end of this hallway. You may even make it to there. Laughing like a madman, you sprint down the corridor with renewed strenght. >As you finally near the door to your room -and salvation-, to your surprise you see it opening seemingly by itself, if it weren't for the magical grip around its handle. >You're going too fast, and you realize you won't be able to stop in time to dodge whoever the fuck was in your room. >Much to your horror, you see a purple head poking out of your room, followed by the rest of your least favorite princess' body. >As time itself seems to slow down, you notice she's holding something in her mouth as she whistles a happy tune. >Wait, that's your fucking underwear! Fucking Twilight! "I fucking knew it! It was you who stole it you fucking purple pervert!!" >Your words startle her, her ears perk up and she turns to see who was screaming at her. >Just in time to see you knocking over her, not being able to stop in time. >You're both sent tumbling to the ground, well past your door. >"Eeep" "Fucking Twilight!" >You mutter, your face buried in her fur. >But there's no time to waste with her. >You manage to stand up and turn around to see if you could still make it to your room and.. >Oh, fuck. >Celestia and Luna are standing before you, blocking your way, grinning like the mad mares they are. >"End of the run sweetie" Celestia coos. >"W-what happened?" You hear Twilight mumble behind you as she gets up, shaking her head. >You sigh. "It doesn't matter now. Just know that I hate you so god damn much." >The princesses start coming closer, licking their lips and wearing predatory looks on their faces. >So this is how it ends? >You close your eyes and spread your arms. "Let's get this over with" >... >Laying on your mattress, you stare at the ceiling of your room. >Both the princesses lie at your sides, legs wrapped around your body. >You feel Sunbutt shifting beside you, before resting her head on your chest. >A half-lidded, magenta eye looks at you lovingly. >On instinct, you move your hand to scratch her ears, and she responds with a happy coo. >On the other side of the bed, Luna groans and hugs you tighter. Your other hand takes care of her, running your fingers through her starry mane. "Soo, what you wrote on those boxes was a bit of an exaggeration, right?" >"That it was, sweetie. I'm sorry, but we were so eager to win you that we may have overdid it with the writings" "I see. So what Luna meant by 'very ruttable' was istead..." >"Very huggable, nephew. The most huggable aunt in all of Equestria." Luna chimes in. "And by 'hot as the sun' you actually meant tha-" >"That I'm very warm to cuddle at night, yes." >God damn, did these ponies even grab the concept of sex? "What about the 'sex goddess' part then?" >"We meant that our snuggles would be simply divine!" They say in unison, before starting to giggle. >You shake your head, and mentally facepalm, since your hands were busy elsewhere. >You also try to ignore the minor heart attack their cuteness is giving you. "Well, for the next time, know that you can simply share my cuddles, instead of trying to hog me." >"Duly noted." >The three of you chuckle. >"Ehm... Excuse me, princesses?" A voice comes from your door. >You know that voice. Twilight motherfucking Sparkl.. >You turn towards the door and.. Yep, there she is again, standing on the threshold. >"Yes, dear Twilight?" Celestia says, raising her head from your chest. >Looking down, as if the floor was the most interesting thing of the World, Book horse continues: "I was just wondering if.. maybe.. I might.. sort of.. joinyouthreeinthebed????" "Don't you try and play the 'princesses' card Spergle! I'm the one who's in charge of cuddles here." "It'll be a cold day in Tartarus before I let you come here and.." >Wait, what is she doing? Puppy eyes? Droopy ears? Oh, no. Not this shit again. >Ignore her, just fucking ignore her and she'll leave you alone. >Also be still, she can't see you if you don't mov.. >Wild Twilight uses pouty quivering lip! >It's supereffective! "Oh, come on! Stop being so cute! I'm supposed to hate you, remember?" >The purple menace suddenly perks up her head, her pouty lip gone and her sad expression now replaced by a toothy smile. >"Y-you think I-I'm c-cute?" >Ignore her. >Just ignore her. >She's not cute. She's an obnoxious, tubby, perverted bookworm and.. >"Anon, sweetie, remember what you said about sharing?" Celestia coos, before giving you a peck on the cheek. >"Sister is right, nephew. We wouldn't mind her joining us" >Wonderful. Just wonderful. Thanks mom, thanks auntie for standing by your side. >God damn pony princesses man. "Ugh, Fine! Just hop on already, before I change my mind!" >Not two seconds after she's already jumped on the bed and snuggled up to you. >She's lying on your chest and nuzzling you, no doubt thinking about some lewd stuff she'd like to do with you. >Ah, whatever. She's actually really cute when she isn't rifling through your wardrobe to steal your fucking underwear. "By the way, I want all of it back, you purple thing. You know what I'm talking about" >She looks at you, blushing hard. >"S-sure Anon, I'll give it back to y-you." "Yeah, You better, Twilight." >You say, patting her on the head "You better.." ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Principal Celestia, principal of Canterlot High. >Be in your office. >"And that is why you should provide a room for the Club for Ugandan Nylon Tapestries." >You zoned out for a minute there. >Don't let them know "Alright, how would the music room do? According to the allocation book it hasn't been assigned to any use for over three years." "You'll have to clear out all of the equipment from back when it was being used for teaching." "The last time we had enough interest in the music program to justify buying new instruments was before any of you were born." >"Thanks Principal Celestia!" >"We'll get right on it." >"Yes! we got a clubroom!" >The various CUNT students happily leave your office, unaware that you missed half of what they said. >You were too busy getting eaten out by your son Anonymous. >You love this extra-large desk. ======================================================================================================================================= We need some green of a drunken Celestia telling Anon how Twilight has a "secret" crush on him while Twilight embarrassingly watches on. >Solid Spergle watches Anon & mom from the bushes >"..Ok, she looks to be pouring it on pretty thick. Good job, Princess, you really wanna sell the confession." >Mom pours herself another glass of wine, often admonishing Anonymous telling her to slow it down by saying "Oh stop, it's good for the heart." >"Heh, I don't think she needed to finish the bottl-..oh my god, are they kissing?!" >'HAA~ YES, M-MOMMY'S WAITED SO LONG FOR HER BOY TO WANT HER THIS WAY' >"OH F-FUCK YEAH, MOM, YOU NEED TO DRINK MORE OFTEN." >Twilight has a sad fap in the bushes and leaves ======================================================================================================================================= >nightmare butt >"W-we have a nephew?!" The evil moon horse beams You will never have an evil aunty who's tries not to be evil for your sake. You will never be the one to unify her and mom when they fight. You will never bring peace between the sisters through their mutual love of you. >"WE SPECIFICALLY DEMANDED RUM RAISIN, INSOLENT WHELP!" >"..We would see thee skinned alive for this transgression were our dear nephew not in tow." >"I swear by all the celestial bodies I will have your head sister!" >"If you refuse to yield I will have no choice but to lock you away again Nightmare!" >Just as the royal siblings charged their respective spells, both in battle stances, the sound of one of the grand doors of the throne room opening made them both pause to see who had dared to interrupt them. >Both of their blood froze with maternal fright upon what they saw. >You were standing there, your little hands grasping tightly onto your favorite blanket as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. "Mommy, aunty? Are you fighting again?" >The sisters looked at each other looking for an answer before Celestia spoke up first. >"N-no dear, me and...Aunty Moon were just...uh..." >"We were just having a dispute over what to get you for your upcoming birth celebration!" "My birth wha?" >"She means your birthday sweetie. We were having a small disagreement over what to get you for your birthday next week, that's all." "Really?" >Slowly but surely the princesses moved closer to each other and to you, both of them bringing you into a group hug, both nuzzling a different cheek. >Celestia was on edge, feeling as though Nightmare would strike at her any moment while the princess of night simply felt disgusted by having to touch her older sibling, but both endured for your sake, smiling down at you despite themselves. >"Really, our most dearest nephew, I and our..."DEAR" sister are simply too picky about CERTAIN things, but we promise ye that we shall come to...a compromise." >"Yes, I'm sure we shall. Now come along, I will tuck you back into bed and your aunty will make sure you have a nice dream tonight." >With a big yawn your almost out cold already. "Okay." >Detaching Celestia float you onto her back and begins to walk carefully as not to disturb you, Nightmare keeping an even pace with her. >All the way to your room unknown to you the two glared pure death at each other. >If the setting had been anywhere other than your birthday party, Celestia and Nightmare would be ripping out each others throats right now. >As it was the two maintained their smiles no matter how forced as you gushed obliviously over the presents they had gotten you. "Puppy, birdy!" >Celestia held within her magic an ornate bird cage that ha locked safely within a baby phoenix, tweeting softly every now and then, while Nightmare had a leash securely tied to a black leather collar with rose patterning that was latched quite snuggly around the neck of a timber wolf pup. >"Yes Sunshine, I got you a very special bird friend and aunty Moon got you a...sweet little..."puppy"." >"Indeed nephew, I have found and trained a fine specimen of the animal kingdom to be your life long companion, along with my sister's..."interesting" bird..." >You were hopping up and down on your stubby legs with excitment. "Puppy, birdy! Can I play with them now? Please please PLEASE?!" >Smiles a little less forced they both relinquished the pets to your grasp, leash in one hand and bird cage in the other. >"Now be careful-" >Celestia glanced at the young wolf. >"VERY careful dear while I speak with aunty Moon just over at the cake table okay?" >You just nod enthusiastically as you pet the timber wolf and scratch the under beak of the bird. >With a short walk Celestia and Nightmare are seated at the wide table holding various snacks with a large grandiose cake at its center. >The fight started in hushed yells as soon as the two sat down. >"You got him a TIMBER WOLF?!" >"A timber wolf indeed, a far cry more suitable pet for Anon then a measly bird!" >"Measly?! I'll have you know that is a pure breed phoenix and the child of Philomena herself AND nowhere near as dangerous as a WILD ANIMAL!" >"I would have you know that I spent many a night training the pup to be steadfast and loyal. It would sooner eat itself than harm a hair on Anon's head!" >"It's a mesh of wood and leaves held together by untamed magic, you can't train that!" >"HA, that only shows how little you know of the creatures in my domain! But regardless, I have even taken the extra effort to file all of its sharp corners and teeth. For now it is the most harmless timber wolf on the planet." >"It came from the Ever Free forest Nightmare! At least my phoenix is naturally docile and from woodlands NOT inhabited by monsters!" >"And what pre-tell is Anon even supposed to do with it? Let is fly about his room and dispense its waste everywhere?" >"It's supposed to be a valuable friend that will help teach him responsibility!" >"Your BIRD can do nothing more than eat, sleep, relief itself, and then die and come back as an infant to only repeat itself! The young wolf will grow with Anon and become one of his most loyal allies, not to mention make an excellent guard against those who would be foolish enough to try and harm him." >"So you admit it's dangerous?!" >"Only when it has grown! By then it will have endeared itself to Anon and obey him without fail!" >"Oh this just like the time you bought him that dreadful tarantula!" >"His name was Spidy the Spider and you will do well to remember that!" >"How could I forget scraping it off of my shoe for the next hour...?" "Say hello to puppy birdy." >"And further more-!" >The bickering halted as the sisters realized what you just said. >Turning towards you they saw you take out the phoenix and hold it to the wolf pup, you innocent mind buzzing with joy at the prospect of the two becoming friends. >Only for the pup to quickly and without hesitation chomp onto the bird and swallow it whole. >All three of you are stunned into silence until a light began to glow within the pup. >The bird was burning itself from within the pup, a attempt to escape. >Only seconds later was the wolf howling from being engulfed in flame, the bird not faring any better as the magic was released from the cursed wood and began to surround it. >All too soon there was nothing but a pile of ash smoking an eerie green smoke, the pup burnt beyond reconstruction and it's released magic having messed with the phoenix's own magic, squashing any chance of it rebirthing. >Celestia and Nightmare could only stare on completely stunned and shocked as you sank to your knees, eyes brimming with tears. "Puppy? Birdy?" >All was crushingly silent for a moment before your wailing broke it as a boulder through glass would. >"Oh buck." >"Oh buck." >"Ah, pity the combustible pigeon and the match stick dog didn't work out, but never fear, my boy!" >"Look what Uncle Discord got you!" >"Discord, how exactly does this dangerous looking contraption work?" >'Dangerous looking?' He says with mock surprise >'Why Sunnybottoms, I'll have you know that this is ALIEN hardware and for all we know, it could be the LEAST dangerous item among Anonymous's ehh..'gifts'.' >He says the last part looking at the burn mark on the rug with a few smoking twigs around it >"Anonymous, sweetheart, do you like the uh...Uncle Discord's gift?" >'OFCOURSE HE DOES! Why after he crams into that cockpit and the neural interface syncs with his brain stem, he'll be right as rain!' >"Syncs with his wha-, Anonymous, no, you are NOT to play with this. Infact, no playing with this thing until you're of an appropriate age." >'Boo, the manual is written in prawn-ish but I THINK I've translated enough to have him sync safely with no risk of brain damage!' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Art thou finding this evening truly euphoric, m'nephew?" >Luna's question startles Anonymous, taking him away from his Hoofmblr sjw duties for a while. >He turns around, without even getting up from his chair, which only by some miracle is able to withstand his weight, and almost knocks over a bottle of Canterlot Dew® that was resting on his desk. >Stroking his greasy neckbeard, Anonymous gets rid of some Hayritos® crumbs, before reaching for his trusted fedora, that was hanging from the corner of his monitor. >He puts it on, keeping his thumb and index finger on its brim. >Then, Anonymous stares at Luna for just a moment, before slowly nodding his head, lowering his hand as well. >*Tip* "Very much so, m'aunt." ======================================================================================================================================= AfterHours >You’re standing at a window, admiring the beautiful day before you. >The sun is out, a cool breeze is in the air, and birds are singing in the trees. >It’s the kinda day that just takes your worries away and makes you glad to be alive. >You wonder if your mom would enjoy a picnic lunch in the garden together. >Only one way to find out. >You start walking towards the throne room, in hopes that she has an opening to see you and perhaps to slip away for a bit. >You give a polite nod and greeting to each pony you see along the way, which they happily return in kind. >It doesn’t take long to get to your destination. >The guards outside the doors stand at attention as you near them. “Golden Lance, Stalwart Pike. How are you two doing today?” >You greet the throne room’s regular guards with a smile. >”Very well Prince Anonymous, and yourself?” “Oh, I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.” >You look into the throne room and notice your mother isn’t there. “Did Princess Celestia step out?” >It’s always feels weird to call your mother by her name. >But it would be even weirder for a grown man to basically ask someone where his mother is, so you’ll take the slightly less weird option. >”Yes sir, she had a break in court and said she was going to retire to her chambers briefly.” >Okay, seems like maybe she had the same idea. “Thanks guys.” >You wave to them and take your leave. >You start to wonder why she wanted to go back to her room though. >You hope that she isn’t sick or something. >She has been sneaking into your room in the middle of the night to make sure you’re still there, so maybe he fatigue finally caught up with her and she needs a nap. >As you near the wing of the castle with the royal chambers, you see two guards walking away from your mother’s room. >”I’m telling you, just once I’d like to be in there with her too.” >”I hear you. Did you see it? It was all plump and just there for you to see it.” >”I know right? I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It honestly made my mouth water.” >”Oh yeah, that was one sweet… looking…” >The guard slowly trails off as he sees you. >Just what are they talking about? >And why do they look so nervous? >You realize these are the same two guards you encountered in the garden when you first made it back here. >They both look a little frightened at seeing you. >Maybe they’re afraid you’re holding a grudge against them. >Yeah, you were pissed at the time but everything worked out in the end. >You should probably say something to try and clear the air in case they think you hate them. “Hey guys, I-“ >”WE’RE SORRY!” >They both yell out. >Well that’s… odd. >”We didn’t mean what we said!” >Oh, they probably mean from when they found you in the garden. “Listen, it’s-“ >”We would never interrupt your mother’s- I mean, Princess Celestia’s ‘private’ time.” >Wait, what was that now? >Private time? >You then think about what they were talking about before they noticed you and you hope for everyone’s sake you are misinterpreting things. >Or else there will be a royal scandal involving the prince killing two guards. >You close your eyes and take a deep breath. >With a long drawn out exhale, you are finally ready to address these two. “We will be addressing this later. But for now, I think it would be in your best interest to get out of my sight before something happens we’re all going to regret.” >That was all the encouragement they needed as they high tail it down the hallway and out of the wing. >You stand there and think about what just happened. >You had to have misunderstood them right? >No way they were talking about what you think they were talking about right? >You look and see your mother’s doors closed tight. >Only one way to find out. >You tentatively walk to her door but don’t open it. >Instead, you stand there with a blank expression on your face as you examine the door. >Just one knock on the door and this whole misunderstanding will be behind you. >You are about to knock when you hear her voice talking from behind the closed door. >”Oh, my… just look at you.” >Your knuckle stops just a fraction away from the door, allowing you to remain undetected. >”You look so good. But then, you always do don’t you?” >Who is she talking to? >You press your ear against the door hoping to get more of the conversation. >”Don’t worry, we can take our time today. I asked them to keep my next session free in court, so it will just be you… and me.” >Okay, what? >”But I’m not sure I can wait much longer though. I think I need a little taste right now. You won’t mind will you? Hehe, I didn’t think so.” >You hear her golden shoes clink and clank against the floor as she walks in her room. >”Mmmmmmmmhhhhhmmmmmmpppphhhhmmmm. Ooooohhhhh yeah… that’s the good stuff.” >You hear her moan in ecstasy. >Do… do you stop this? >She is a grown woman, and she has her needs… but she is still your mother. >”Oops, looks like I got a little messy and some of it ended up all over my face. That’s okay, I can always lick it up later.” >You gag a little bit at the thought of your mother doing… well doing that. >But if she’s happy, you guess that’s all that matters. >You should probably just leave, don’t want to come across as an over protective mama’s boy or something. >Best to just leave them alone. >”Oh I can’t wait any more, I need you inside me now.” >Oh fuck that! >You raise your foot and bring it down against the door like the fist of an angry god. >In your rage you made a pull door into a push door, and they bend going into her room. >She stops cold and looks at you in mid act. >Both of you are frozen for a few seconds, each looking at the scene before you. “Um… hey mom…” >You just ruined a more than likely very expensive door and the woodworking around it because your mother was enjoying some cake. >”Anonymous! What is going on?” “Uh… well…” >You get a little sheepish now. “You see I wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch or a picnic in the garden with me, and when I came here I heard you through the door, and well… I heard some stuff and…” >Realization finally hits her and she starts to blush. “Sorry about your door. But to be fair you really got into that cake.” >You gesture behind you. >She starts to giggle, then laugh. >Which causes you to laugh as well at the entire situation. >”That’s alright. I’m just lucky I have such a good son who will stand up for his mother’s honor.” >She playfully pats your shoulder with her wing. >”Would you care for a slice?” >You chuckle. “Yeah, why not.” >She magics a piece over to you, which you gratefully take. >You then sit down on her bed and she takes a seat next to you. >You put a forkful into your mouth and savor the flavor. “You know, this is actually really good. I can see why you said what you did.” >”Oh hush. I didn’t think anypony would hear me.” >She says playfully nudging you and blushing from ear to ear. >It wasn’t a picnic in the garden, but it was still nice. ======================================================================================================================================= >"..Is..a-are we in his dream now, Luna?" >'We are, Sister, yes.' >"Haha, I've never been in the dreamscape before. ECHO!" >"N-NOW BATTING, MIKE PIAZZA!" >'Sister, please, we are here to observe the inner machinations of dear neph-' >"SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY! CANTERLOT CIVIC CENTER! MONSTER TRUCK MADNESS!" ======================================================================================================================================= >You were just summoned to your mother's room. >She was with Twilight earlier, so this has to be another hair brained scheme to get you two together. >But you're bored so let's see where this leads. >You knock on the door to announce your presence. "Hey mom? It's me, can I come in?" >"Yes, please come inside." >You open the door and see your mom and Twilight wearing socks and or stockings. >It's hard to tell from here, but you do notice their both sharing one of them. >"Oh thank the sun! Twilight and I seem to have gotten our legs stuck in the same magic proof stocking.we need your help to get us free." >Interesting plan. >Stupid, but interesting. >Better just deal with this and get on with your day. >Now how best to do this? >You place your hand on your mom's inside thigh, merely so you can hold the stocking in place that is. >You begin to pull the stocking down Twilight's leg but it seems stuck. >So you decide to place your hand on Twilight's inner thigh, to hold the stocking and to tease her a little. >It works and you feel her shutter at your touch. >You eventually get the stocking pulled all the way off their legs. >You highly doubt they are magic proof, but they were difficult to work with regardless. >It seems longer so you assume it's mom's, so you carefully pull it up her hoof. >Taking care that it is nice and smooth without any wrinkles against her leg. >"T-thank you sunshine. But would you mind helping Twilight too?" >Why not? >You see what should be her stocking on the ground next to her, pick it up and stand behind her. >She seems to be breathing heavier and raises her hoof to you, but she is trying to avoid looking you in the face. >Even slower than before, you delicately start bringing the stocking up her leg. >With both hands encompassing her leg, you slowly bring it up her hoof, then calf and to her knee. >Hearing her stiffle more than a few moans as you go. >You finish pulling it up her thigh and can practically smell her when you're done. >Signifying you teased her just right. >You see your mom watching you with almost hungry eyes at the scene before her. >You smirk and pat the stocking against Twilight's thigh. >"Eep!" >She embarrassingly exclaims. >Aww, she's actually kinda cute when she's embarassed. >Have to remember that. "There we go. Anything else?" >They both seem in a daze, but mom snaps out of it first. >"N-no, that's fine sweetheart." "Okay, I'll see you two later then." >"Y-you too." >Twilight says. >You leave and close the door. >With a smile on your face you walk down the hall. >You don't really mind your mom trying to help Twilight get together with you. >Wonder what they'll try next? ======================================================================================================================================= Can Momhorse change her form into another pone? I'd think that she would do that to help her son out with mares. Transform into the mare he likes and then fuck him without him realizing it's her. >Casts the spell wrong so only she sees herself as disguised, and everyone else sees her as Celestia when she goes to fuck Anon >Be Celestia. >You are transformed and dressed in sexy clothing. >Your sweet sweet boy has been after your pupil for awhile now. >This would be fine, but the two of them have been going out for a few months now and you know how young love is. >You only fear that Anonymous won't be able to please her. >So you figure maybe give him some pre training before he actually gets her. >Some guards see you walking towards Anonymous's room and blush. >You finally make it to the door and quietly open it, not wanting to alarm your Sunshine before you can get to him. >You see him laying in bed reading a book on magic. >He did always envy unicorns for being able to cast magic. And although he hadn't learned how to himself, he didn't stop trying. >You guess that's why he and Twilight get along so well. >You smile and waltz over to the bed rocking your now purple hips back and forth. >He doesn't take notice of you until you're over his form in bed. >"W-Wha-" >He mutters out before you silence him with your lips. "Shhh, it's alright Anonymous~ I just want a bit of fun~." >You say making your voice sound like Twilight's as much as possible. >"M-Mom, what are you-" This causes you to giggle. "Oh, all ready calling me mommy?" >You giggle out. >"Why do you so-." >Again silencing him you use your magic to undo his pants. >Your little sunshine moans in your mouth as you begin to grind your hips against him, the only thing separating the two of you being his underwear and the panties you put on. >Soon you'll teach your sweet sunshine how to be a man. >Be Anon. >Your mother just jumped on you and began fucking you talking like Twilight... >While you don't mind that much, you're going to have to talk about this when you're done. >Be Celestia. >Tfw you find out the spell worked but only you could see it. >Tfw you just fucked your son talking like another mare. ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Anon. >Celestia and Luna said they had a surprise for ypu to make you feel more at home. >You have no idea what their talking about seeing as as far as you can remember you were in equestria all your life. >They've been in mom's room for awhile now. >You sit there waiting until they finally come out. "Hey mo-" >You're cut off by two standing infront of you. >You stand there in awe looking at them. >"Well Sunshine, what do you think?" Said celestia giving a sheepish smile. >"Oh my, it appears he likes it alot." Says Luna looking down towards your groin. >A blush spreads across your face. "I'm so sorry. It's just you two look-" >"It's ok my sunshine." Celestia says embracing you in a hug. "It's only natural, seeing as we're the first females of your race you've seen." >She releases you and gives you a kiss on the cheek. >You see Luna still looking at your bulge. >"Y-Yes, t-tis only natural. " She mutters. >Be Luna. >Why are you thinking of Anonymous like this!? >He is your nephew for buck's sake! >But the only thing you can think of is his smell, and his luxurious eyes, and his big stallionhoo- >No, bad Luna! You mustn't lose control of yourself like that! >This is your NEPHEW for tia's sake! >You've known him since he was ten! >You would have known him longer but being on the moon kinda didn't allow you to do that. >But still it's wrong! >Why are you thinking of him like this? >You couldn't be in heat could you? >If that were the case Tia would be too. >"Well sunshine i must go run day court. You and Luna have fun." Celestia says leaving the room. >NO sister, NO, don't you dare leave me with- and she gone. >Dam, he's looking at you. Say something Luna! Say something! "How is school dear nephew?" >"Um, Luna I've been out of school for two years now." Anonymous says confused. >You're still starring at his rock hard shaft. >"Oh, I-I'm sorry aunt Luna. It just gets like that i can't control it." He says with a deep blush. >Oh colt auntie Luna can help you with th- >Oh Tia you're getting wet! Why are you getting wet!? >Do you seriously want him that bad? >Be Anon. >Luna just keeps starring at your dick. >You'd be creeped out if you weren't turned on. >All of the sudden she lunges out and pin's you to the bed! >Oh celestia, she's pissed! >She's mad that you'd think of her like th-... >I-Is her pants wet? >Be Luna. >Oh, BUCK IT! you can't take it anymore! >Nephew or not you NEED him! >"Luna, w-what are you-" >You shove your tounge in his mouth, locking the two of you in a kiss and silencing his protest. >You end the kiss both of you panting for breath. "Silence anonymous! I apologize but i need this!" >"But this is w-" He manages to get out before you grab his stallionhood through his pants. "I said silence!" >He simply nods. "Good~." >You say in a sultry voice, before you move down towards your target. >You slide down his pants and underwear releasing the monster! >Your nephew's dick nearly pokes your eye out as soon as it's released. >His musk hits you like a train, sending you deeper into your lust. >You move your tongue out to taste it. >At the moment it's the best thing you've ever tasted. >You move your mouth over the massive rod and begin to suck. >Anonymous trys his best to stifle a moan. >"L-Luna~" he moans placing a hand on the back of your head. >You speed up, going up and down on the thing you needed so bad. >"Ah, Luna I'm gonna-" >Oh no you don't! >You rip your head away from the massive rod and grip it tightly in your hand. >You feel it pulse as it trys to release the hot seamen. "No, we can't have you wasting all that precious royal fluids can we~? >You say with a wide grin. >You stand up and remove your pants before spreading your royal folds. "No, the only place you should be doing that is inside another royal~." >His face goes to horror. >"B-But what if you get pregnant!?" >Oh, but thats the plan young one. >You raise yourself over him before slamming down, taking him all at once. >You both let out a gasp before you begin to start slowly raising and falling. >You can feel every warm inch going inside. Every vain pulsing, every muscle twitching. >You can't take much more as you begin to speed up. >You place a hand on his chest and he places his on your hips. >You smile. "Yes, those moon's are your's. " >He tightens his grip. >"L-Luna I'm about to cum!" He moans out. "Yes! Do it inside, please your princess!" >As if your word's were magic he releases a torrent of cum flooding your womb! "AH! More! Give me more!" >You yell as you bounce on his cock faster and harder trying to milk it all out! >You scream in pleasure as you yourself begin to cum! >After riding it out you collapse on his chest limp and pleased. >You just lay there as you feel his rod go limp and fall out. >"L-Luna?" Anon gasp out. "Y-Yes Anonymous?" >You ask in return. >"C-Could we d-do this more often?" He ask. "Definitely." >You mutter before falling asleep. >Be Celestia. >From the sounds from inside the room your plan worked. >Your dear sister and sunshine have been so stressed lately. >So one heat spell later and BOOM! >Now the both of them are pleased. >You smile and walk off. ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia is very hungry >You, her son, are sitting behind the counter as she wallows in despair from the date she had last night. >You'll be fine mom! Everything will work out in the end. >Celestia shuddered as she ate her dandelion sandwich and sipped on her purple martini. >Anoder dwink pleash, >Mom please don't get another one, you have had enough. >Ish shed give me another! >Do you want me to put on the mask? Hmm? >Celestia became deathly serious. >You wouldn't >Oh yes I would >The two stared at each other as Celestia casually sipped on her purple drink. >I even have the Cassete player and everything, do you really wanna overstep your bounds? >Well do you!? >Celestia reached for a sip from her drink and found nothing to swallow down. >Without her precious drink to swallow down. She had but, not a choice. >She got up and poured herself some more from the cabinet as anon watched her displeasingly. >Without further a do, anon equipped a mask with the face of some black guy and he put brought out the cassette right into the player. >Music began to play loudly as anon began to dance sporadically. >"Everybody get up it's time to slam now" >Celestia sat as the music played and she grimaced from the dancing anon behind her. >"Come on and slam and welcome to the jam" >She almost looked depressed from the ordeal as anon pranced around with that stupid mask he wore. >"Hey you, watchagonna do" >Celestia trotted out from the liquor room and went to bed with the music still in her ears. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Do you like my costume, Anon?" "Why are you dressed as Nightmare Moon, mom?" >"It is tradition, sweetie. Plus, we'll get free candies!" >"WE ART READY FOR A NIGHT OF MERRIMENT AND FUN VERILY, DEAREST NEPHEW!" >She's already got it dialed up to 11 >'Me too, Auntie, b-but maybe this year let's not burn ponies as heretics for not giving out 'good' candies.' >"NEVER! ALMOND JOYS DO NOT QUALIFY AS SWEETS NOR TREATS, THEY ARE FILTH!" >Ah fuck >"WE DESIRE THEIR LEFT AND RIGHT TWIX'S, NEPHEW!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Huh? Oh dear, t-this isn't MY room at all.." >'Yeah, nice try, mom. Auntie came through here with that same line earlier.' >"Oh boo..and you sent her on her way?" >'With a kiss on the cheek and an open palmed swat on the bottom, yes.' >"That sly bitch.." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Come Anonymous! Let us ride into the night together and obtain candy!" "Uh... Auntie... what are you wearing?" >"This is the traditional attire of a witch. I thought you knew that." "I, I honestly don't know of any witch that works dress like that." >"Perhaps you did not see the pointy hat on my head." >She says bending down and inadvertantly pressing her ample breasts together. >They aren't as big as mom's, but they are still perky and full. "Oh right, the hat. How could I have missed it?" >You say in a slightly mocking tone. >"Enough of the sarcasm young man. Now let us get going." "Shouldn't we wait for mom?" >"Oh, yes... she... she said to go ahead without her." "Really? That doesn't sound like her." >"Are you calling your favorite auntie a liar?" >You are about to respond when you notice her breasts start to vibrate and a muffled ringtone can be heard. >She reaches into her cleavage and pulls out her phone. >"See? That was her now saying we should go without her." "But that was a phone call and not a text. It's litterally still ringing." >She swipes the screen and puts the now silent phone back between her breasts. >"Oh, look at the time! If we leave now we will have enough time to stop by the store, buy some eggs, and make it to Twilight Sparkle's house." >Without a second thought you jumped onto the back of the broom, and the two of you were off. >You are Celestia. >What are you going to wear tonight? >What will he like? >Luna stole your sexy witch costume so you are digging through your other sexy costumes. >French maid, nurse, policewoman, cheerleader, school girl? >Ugh, you need more time. >Better call and tell them to wait longer for you. >You dial Luna and her phone rings and- goes to voicemail before it should. >She wouldn't... >You look out the window and see them riding off together. "That bitch... stealing my sunshine like that. She is so going to get it when I catch up to them." ======================================================================================================================================= How would she react if you had your first wet dream while cuddling her in bed to find that you came up her belly or back? >She tries to pretend that it never happened >But, after watching you closely for a few days, she slowly starts to have other thoughts >What if she approached you about it? >Made a lot of moves that looks accidental >but are actually made on purpose to see how you react? >Because she is starting to dream about doing it with you? >there is a tension in the air at your next family breakfast >neither you or mom can meet each the others gaze for more than a few seconds >Mmph, god, that's probably how long you'd last inside her velvety hot ins- DAMNIT! >"Uh m-mom? Can you pass the intercourse?-, I mean butter, please?" >'Ofcourse, my sunshine, here you are.' >You're faring better than expected, Celestia! >You're not even remotely wondering how long Anonymous would last inside your velvety hot wet ins-, CURSES! >'S-sweetie? Could you pour mommy another glass of repressed lust?- Uhh, I meant merlot, please?' ======================================================================================================================================= >Nightmare Night. What a fright. Why does this holiday bite? >You rock your foot to and fro, book in hand as the squels and giggles of Ponies outside enjoy this cheap dimestore holiday. >Nightmare Night is garbage Nothing like Halloween back on Earth. Hanted Houses that made you shit yourself. Candy so sweet everyone had to go get insulin shots, and feeling up the drunk next door neighbor's breasts from the costume party. >This place has nothing like that. >Their idea of scary is creepy shadows, or vampires that look like Disney villains. Candy made of horse feed, and their boobs are between their legs. >You played that Milky Way game. It's not that hot. "Haaaaah." >Your topic of literature? "StarSwirl the bearded's big book of Kama Sutra". >That old horse was a straight up FREAK man. He has this one move where you get pegged so hard, it pushes your stomach out like some hentai, and you bang a mare with that bulge. He named it a "Stable sticker". >Nok Nok. "Come in." >The door slowly opens, revealing a scantily clad Momlestia. >Well she's dressed like a sexy wizard more like. >"Happy Nightmare night Sunshine! Like my costume?" >She does a cute twir- >The back is assless. Sweet mother of Mary. "First off, stop calling me that! I'm nearly grown...second. What are you supposed to be exactly? A magician?" >She grins. >"I'm a black Mage! Fetching right?" >Your cheeks turn red, through a forced frown. >Magelestia looks down at your lap putting a black socked hoof to her mouth. >"O-oh wow. Is my costume that good?" >You follow her line of sight, and find your super alloy black luster is standing at attention, and immediately cross your legs. "IT'S JUST THE FABRIC! A-anyway what did you want?" >She giggles, and does another Twirl. >"There's a Nightmare night party going on in the Royal ballroom, and I noticed my foster child was strangely absent!" >You cock an eyebrow, and lay your book next to you. "Yeah. I don't want to go." >Her mouth drops in surprise. >But, for whatever reason why? This is supposed to be a night for fun, and being scared!" >She magics her big hat off, and climbs onto the bed next to you, with a look of concern. "This holiday is weak Ma, and uh--it--" >"Yes?" >You rub the back of your head. It's just it--" Suddensmokeexplosion.jpg >"BEHOLD! I HAVE ARRIVED IN AN OUTFIT MOST SPOOKY, AND SEXY!" >Luna Appears before you and Momlestia dressed in an outfit almost like Ma's only it's white, and she's wearing what looks like a pope hat. >"Nephew! Gaze upon our colors, and feel envy course through your very being!" >She does a twirl, and poses, making sure her backside is visible. >https://youtu.be/Re72di5phM0 [Embed] >She's met with blank stares. >"Am I interrupting something?" >Momlestia rolls her eyes. >"Putting aside the obvious copying of my amazing outfit, Anon doesn't want to go to the Nightmare Night ball!" >Luna makes the same face as Celetia from before. >"But for whatever reason not?!" >You pinch the bridge of your nose, and stand up. "It makes me think of..."Home"..You know?" >Luna nuzzles your side. >"In what way?" >You move to the window and look outside, noticing a unicorn filly dressed as a skeleton. >Spoopy. "Halloweens back home were pants wetting terrifying. Blood and guts, and Ghouls! Haunted houses! The whole shebang, and the party's were-" >You look back at the both of them. "U-uh..interesting." >They look at each other confused. "It brings back feelings of nostalgia, and I'd just like to avoid it. Okay?" >"I see." ======================================================================================================================================= >"What is our haul from the last street?" >'Uhh..a krackel, haribo sugarless gummi bears, some oranges, and a packet of saltines.' >"Off brand chocolate? Sugarless treats? ARE THEY TRYING TO GIVE US THE ROYAL SHITS?!" >'W-we'll have better luck on the next street, Auntie, really, no need to lynch or burn-' >"HEED OUR WORDS, CITIZENS, YOU WOULDST BE WISE TO AVOID THIS STREET, THEY HAVE SHITTY CANDY AND ARE GAY!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Going to bed while letting your Aunt go wanting?" >"Though the night wouldst look upon thee with pleasure, nephew~" >'Oh, um, damn, Auntie if I wo-' >"No explanations necessary, Anonymous. We shall see thee in thy-..thou..est..blast it all! We'll see you in your dreams." ======================================================================================================================================= >"F-fuck my urethra pussy, sensei!" >'Mom, c'mon, just trying to have breakfast here.' >"But I wanna sample the legendary penis that killed a water buffalo in his homeland!" >'Don't you like, have to go train to be the next horse-kage or something?' >"B-BAKA! I KNEW THAT! KYAA~" >Celestia finds Anon's doujins: femdom/reverse rape/happy sex typically >Thinks that those are guidebooks on human interaction >Decides to act them out in real life towards her oblivious son >Reads a reverse rape one >Follows the instructions >Reads one featuring impregnation >Follows the instructions >Gets Luna and maybe teenage (not married) Cadence to follow along to better understand human culture ======================================================================================================================================= >"Okay, sweetie. Now, mommy wants you to ask her how foals are made, okay?" "Celestia, I learned about this a long ti-" >"W-Well, pretend that you didn't!" "..." >"..." "How are foals made?" >"How are foals made.... what?" "For fuc-how are foals made, mommy?" >Celestia rolls over onto her back and raises a hind leg. >"Come to mommy and she'll show you, honey~" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Every time I look at you, Anon, all I see is a foal in need of a mother." >You pause mid-sip of your tea, your mind still processing what Princess Celestia just said to you. >It was out of the blue; completely unprovoked. >Princess Celestia had just invited you and Twilight over for tea while you were visiting Canterlot. >Conversation had turned from business-like ("what's your planet like"; "what did you do for a living"; "what is computers and how do we make them"), but had slowly turned more personal. >So slowly that you didn't even notice the change, until you found yourself chatting happily about your home life. >And then... >The line. "Listen.... Princess Celestia. That's very, uh..." >You look desperately at Twilight, but she refuses to look you in the eye. "Very.... KIND of you to say. But I'm an adult, Princess. I don't need a mother." >Celestia giggles and continues to give you that amused, somewhat-adoring look. >"Anonymous, I am very old. Relative to me, all of my little ponies are foals. You could be 12, 25, or 100 years old, and it would make no difference to me." >She gets up and begins to walk over to you, looking completely non-threatening. >Regardless, you too stand up and begin taking steps backward to match the ones she's taking forward. "Twilight?" >No answer. "Twilight?! Help!" >You nearly jump out of your skin as your back hits the wall. >Celestia finally catches up with you and rears back onto her hind legs, planting one fore-hoof on the wall beside your head to brace herself. >"But there's something different about you, Anon. Something..." >With her free fore-hoof, she gently boops you on the nose. >"...that calls to me." >She giggles and cups her free, formally-booping hoof over her mouth. >"Call it mother's instinct." ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon never had a "mother/son" relationship with Celestia >He doesn't even meet her in person until a year after he's settled down in Ponyville >When Celestia visits, it's like a switch has been thrown in her head >Anon has turned from "Twilight's silly alien friend" to "tiny adorable babuu who doesn't have a mother to take care of him" "Sister, put down the human." >"Luna, can't you see?! He doesn't even have fur to keep him warm!" "He is distressed. It's very clear he doesn't want you to hold him." >"Look at the way he reacts to affection... Ohh, he isn't used to having somepony love and cuddle him! My poor, poor foal~" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Is th-..Luna, are we on? Can he hear us?" >'Yes, Sister. This is Anonymous's dream space, he can hear and se-' >"ECHO!..(ECHO)..Hahah, it works!" >'Sister, please, do not violate the sanctity of the drea-' >"SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! IT'S THE 9TH ANNUAL DALLAS MOWER EXPO!" ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, Auntie, you both need to stop this. I mean c'mon, seriously." >'Never, Anonymous! Being eeevil is so good~' >Ponies everywhere run in panic as your mom & aunt direct their horn lasers here and there in the furor >'Allow US to be of service, loyal subjects!' Your Aunt shouts >'If thou wisheth to flee, we shall give thee the means to do so!' She says releasing a powerful beam of magic >IIIIIT'S A BRAND NEW STATION WAGON!! YOU'RE THE NEXT BIG WINNER ON 'THE PRICE IS RIGHT'! >Mom isn't faring much better at being 'evil' >'Enjoy your treat, little one! May the brainfreeze be worth it! Muhahah!!' >'T-thank youuu, Missus Princess Celestia!!!' The young colt says holding a monstrously oversized ice cream cone >'Oh you're welcome, swee-..uh, I MEAN, YES! HA HA, I AM EVIL!' >"Oh for fucks sak-..FINE." >"Hey, mom, look, I'm evil, too!" You say dancing on the grass near a 'keep off grass' sign >You hope this works >Twilightoutoffuckingnowhere.webbum >'C-c-can I be evil, too? I wanna be evil, Princess!' >Your mom & aunt stop dead in their tracks and exchange frowns >'..Luna, this is boring now, I don't want to be evil anymore.' ======================================================================================================================================= You think Celestia would cook breakfast for you or would she just order out food all the time? She would order the healthiest, most well-made foods prepared by the cooks and try to pass it off as "a mother's home-cooked meals". You'd both know it was bullshit, but you'd play along. >"Mommy slaved all day on this, sweetheart, I hope it's to your liking." >'..Forgot to take the 'Banquet' sticker off, mom.' >"B-banquet Culinary was the name of the institute mommy cooked at." >>"Mommy slaved all day on this, sweetheart, I hope it's to your liking." >Celestia tosses something onto your lap >It's a no-name bag of bbq potato chips from horse-Walmart >When you look back up, she's half-way across your room, heading to the door >She doesn't look back once >Leaves and closes the door behind her >That's the last you see of her for the rest of the day tfw momlestia is secretly disappointed in you and tries not to show it ...What'd I do? >Celestia gazes at you from the doorway, only her head poking in. >"Exactly, sweetheart." "...I don't understand." >Celestia sighs and lowers her head, looking disappointed. >Not at you, but at herself. >"Honey... mommy's going to visit auntie Luna, okay? I'll be back tomorrow before lunch." "Okay, mom. Say hi to-" >SLAM ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Sir Anon the Brave >Protector of Castle Davenrow >You hail from Riverton >A small town in the center of a lake >As a child you would stare up at the castle on the mountain, and dream of walking its halls >Fate smiled upon you and when you were seventeen years old you became squire to Sir Nito of Incog >After four years he passed away in glorious battle >An army of Suthrons marched upon Davenrow >Sir Nito was the first to meet them in battle >He slew three score and five of the damned soldiers before a coward stabbed him in the back with a dagger >You were there beside him when he fell >His only regret was not killing more of them >The Suthrons ignored you, as you were a lowly squire >Perhaps you would make a good slave boy, if you survived the battle >You picked up Sir Nito’s sword, and nothing had ever felt so right in your hands >The Davenrow Knights rushed out of the castle, and you could have slipped away >But you were a Knight at heart, and those damned bastards just slew your mentor >You joined the battle >When the dust settled, and your heart ceased its frantic beating, you were anointed a knight >And you received all the wealth and fame that accompanied such a title >You had a house >You Jousted >You fought >You drank >You LIVED >Thanking your lucky stars everyday >However, it was not to last >Riding your horse one day through the forest, you came across a young maiden lashed to a tree trunk >Taking it upon yourself to free the damsel, you dismounted and went to cut her bonds >The dagger concealed in her dress found your throat in short order >As you lay there, gurgling on your own blood and gasping for breath like a fish, she picked your pockets clean >You were always a good Christian man >But as you lay there dying, you uttered a prayer to everyone you could think of >God, Lucifer, even the saracen god Allah >No one answered >Until a voice pierced your daz >”Well well,” the voice had said. “What have we here?” >You tried to reply >Your blood made it difficult >You ended up making a bubbling sound in the back of your throat >”Dying, are we? Don’t worry, I’ll try to help, but can promise nothing” >You couldn’t see who was speaking, but he sounded… odd. As though he was perpetually smiling >”I’ll bring you back home with me, oh you’re sure to cause a stir. It’ll be so much fun!” >What is he saying >You raise a hand towards him >Or at least, where you think it is >”Hold on tight, I have no idea where you’ll end up. Or… when, actually. I haven’t used magic here in awhile.” >Magic? >A glow surrounded your body and your armour >This was it >You had been found by a demon, and he was claiming your soul >You had sold your essence to Satan for false salvation >You had renounced your god for a petty chance to live >What honour was there in that >You're a goddamn coward! >With regret pooling in your stomach, and self-hatred mingling with the taste of blood in your mouth, you await the end of your miserable existence >You await eternal fire stroking your body as you are transported to HELL >To await eternal suffering at the hands of the dark lord of shadow himself >You experienced a sensation of weightlessness, before the entire world goes black. >The first thing you notice is the sound of wind >Like a hurricane around you >You quickly find your senses >You didn't feel pain from your throat >Your eyes beheld a darkness, and what appeared to be a stone roof above your head, crumbling though it was >You felt the sensation of your armor, and your trusty sword in your hand >A shield was lashed to your other arm >You were alive >You stand to your shaky feet, banishing the feeling of fright upon looking around >This place was unfamiliar to you >A castle, that much was obvious >But not one you recognized >This was not the marble halls of Davenrow >Nor the hallowed ballroom of Castle Dour >The statues around the walls were that of horses >Unicorns, Pegasi, fantastical creatures >Perhaps you had strayed into the halls of the Horsemen? >Though why they let it get so decrepit is beyond you >Half of the statues were piles of rubble >The roof was caving in >The walls were crumbling brick by brick >A deep rumbling like thunder reminded you that you were a stranger in an unknown land >Whatever cataclysm claimed this castle may not be over >You raise your shield and step forward >Just in time to see a figure crash down before you >You jump back. Sword at the ready >It slowly stands to its feet, shaking off stone and detritus >You lower your shield in wonder >What stands before you must be some sort of god >A creature with a white coat and four legs, bearing an ethereal mane, wings, and a horn >An aura of radiance emits from it that makes you want to kneel >The thing blinks, staring up at the sky >You follow its gaze and balk >Another one of the creatures hovers in the sky, cackling maniacally >"I'm sorry, dear sister" >The horse before you was speaking >The voice was soft and lilting, but sad >Had you not been a man of steadfast resolve, you would have fainted >"You leave me no choice but to use these!" >Her horn charges with a yellow glow, as warm as the sun in the sky >She turns, and comes face to face with you ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Anon >You know what? Shit sucked for a while after you were kidnapped by an enormous white horse. >She wouldn't let you go back home, for starters. >In fact, she insisted that this CASTLE was your home now. >You thought that maybe normal life had gotten a bit stale for the 1000+ year old sun goddess and she just up and decided to adopt you as a pet. >Maybe all that time she spend alive made her go a little bit crazy and she decided that the newly-discovered sapient alien guy would make for a great cat or dog. >Reality was way, WAY weirder. >Apparently you're her son now. >Just >Out of nowhere. >Horse-mom. >You argued, of course, that you already had a home. >A home that still needed you to make payments on, and to make sure the shit in the magical fridge didn't go bad. >Payments that required you to earn money from your job >A job that requires you to actually live in Ponyville. >So instead she booped you on the nose, called you a "silly-billy", and told you that you didn't need a job while you lived with "mommy". >After a dinner that was admittedly the most delicious thing you've ever eaten, she carried you off by the scruff of your shirt like she was a cat and you were her kitten. >That first night's cuddling was so uncomfortable that it almost made up for the dinner. >You made sure your complaints and concerns were made known by Celestia, let me tell you. >Things changed, though. >You found it easier and easier to fall asleep with Celestia holding you. >You got used to following her around for most of the day. >You even became pretty chill friends with Luna, who was sympathetic to your kidnapping and let you vent about how actually really fucked up the "forced adoption" thing was. >All things considered, you still live in a castle, eat like royalty, and are pretty much politically untouchable because of your "mother" and "aunt". >Things could be worse. ======================================================================================================================================= >Luna is the cool aunt who sneaks Anon candy and porn >the porn is of her haha, i lied, his mom & aunt teach him sex ed themselves sometimes cadence is involved >Anon grew up on Earth and has only recently become Celestia's "son" >Celestia pulls shit like this to "make up for lost time" >Luna is disappointed that Anon insists that he knows how sex works >She was going to use this as an excuse to give Anon home-made diagrams using herself as a model Lusty aunt when? >home-made diagrams using herself as a model >"Um, Auntie?" >'Yes, do you have questions regarding the subject matter?~' >"Y-yeah, you could say that. Um, it says here on the diagram 'no-no place' above your mons pubis, that means 'vagina', right?" >She stifles a giggle >'You said vagina...' >"Ah, sweetheart. I trust you're learning good and proper how to stimulate mares special baby places and make hug time enjoyable for both parties?" >"I want your first time to really mean something. When you look into my eye-, I mean y-your marefriends eyes as you hilt your funstick inside her cha-cha, that should be something we'll always treasure.." >"-..I mean something that you'll always treasure!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia adopts Anon after he arrives in Equestria as an adult >Mistook her affection for Anon as maternal (as she has gotten into the habit of acting as a mother to her little ponies) when it was actually of the "shove that dick in me" variety >Still tries to do her best to keep things platonic >Fails >"So, Anon..y-you and the princesses, huh?" Twiggles asks >'I don't even know, man, but I'm banging both and calling one 'mom' and the other 'auntie'.' You say playing horse atari from your racecar bed ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia and Luna have had foals before >Many times, actually, but none of them are immortal alicorns, so she and Luna live to bury them >It's how ponies like Blueblood came to be >After the banishment of her sister, Celestia had given up on having foals >Until Anon shows up and that little spark in her heart comes to life The conflict comes from Anon not being a child or wanting to get a new horse mom. >Pushing Anon around in an adult sized stroller as he sits seething in foal sized clothing >"Your Highness~ This must be the young Anonymous I've heard so much about, correct?" Fleur de lis asks >'He is, Ms. De Lis. Say 'hello', sunshine.' >"Show me those marebits, baby." ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia & Luna are fiercely protective of Anon and jealous of any other female acquaintances he may have >Anonymous is their pride and joy and they wont have him 'taken away by some hussy' >"Ms. Dash? To what do I owe the pleasure?" >"Riding bikes with my son? Oh, a new trail, hm?" >"My, that sounds positively wonderful. 2 young people out enjoying the sights." >"JUST the sights, Ms. Dash, am I clear?" >"..I didn't raise a boy who'd sink it into the first *thing* to come along and tell him he's 'awesome'." >"If I find out he's come home without his virginity intact, or, heavens forbid, with some kind of bug, there's going to be consequences Ms. Dash." >"...I'm talking a clitorectomy, am I clear?" >"I did NOT like how that seamstress had her hands all over you, Anonymous." >'Better her than the old guy with shaky hands, mom.' >"Let me see your suit, sweetheart. Oh, you'll look so handsome at the gal-..LITTLE BITCH STITCHED HER NUMBER ON THE CUFFS!" >Be woken up one night by noises in the backyard >Look out and see mom cleaning an axe and auntie heaving a few trashbags into a fresh dug hole >Ask them in passing the next morning what that was >"Oh, t-that was nothing, sweetie, are you sure you weren't dreaming?" >'Verily, nephew, twas likely a dream.' Your Aunt quips cleaning her nails >That one new girl in your govt/econ class didn't show up today >What a shame, you two had made plans for later in the week >Can't win em all, you guess, there will be others >Right? ======================================================================================================================================= >You walk in on aunt Luna. "Hey, have you seen my copy of Jane's Fighting Air--" and stop dead. >"These sugarless bear-candies are surprisingly tasty!" says Luna, tossing back a few more of them. She chases them with a swig of hard cider. She's had a lot of that apparently. >"They were clearing them out. Yes, clearing them. Clearance." She burps. >"Ummm...how many of those have you eaten?" you ask. And then you take in the empty bag between her hooves and the six other bags around her. >Oh...wow. >"I sort of lost track. Would you like some? I have some more around here somewhere," she says, rooting around in the mess on the other side of her bed. >"N-no, I think I'm good," you say. "Uh...you might consider asking Celestia for the evening off. You're going to need it." >Luna looks at you quizzically. >"Why would I need to do that?" she asks. >And then her eyes widen comically. A loud growling noise fills the bedroom, and you both look at her midsection. >It's moving visibly. She makes a noise of distress that almost succeeds in drowning out the noise of her rumbling gut. >"Trust me, you're going to want the night off," you say gently. >With a clatter of hooves, she nearly breaks the sound barrier in her haste to reach the bathroom. The door slams behind her with the finality of a dungeon door closing. >"I'll, uh...go ahead and tell Moms that you're indisposed," you say. You take the opportunity to duck out of Luna's chambers and close the door behind you >But you swear that you can already hear the sound of your adopted mother's laughter already echoing through the castle. It almost drowns out the agonized groans of your aunt. >Be Anon >Be 3 weeks later >You walk into your room after a hard day of cuddling with Mom on her day off and... >...catch Aunt Luna laying on the floor, on her tummy, with her muzzle thrust deep into ANOTHER bag of sugar-free gummies. "Auntie Luna!" >Luna whips her head up, bag still stuck to ner muzzle. >"Servant, who gave thou permis-oh! Oh, dear nephew!" >She looks nervously between you and the bag. >"W-we... we, uh..." >As casually as possible, she bats the plastic bag off of her face with a hoof. >It take a few times for her hoof to catch on the smooth plastic. >"....They were so delicious, Anon. We couldn't help ourselves." >You don't feel even a scrap of sympathy as you aunt's stomach growls loudly. ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-thanks for allowing me to use my free period to tag along as your aide, Principal Celestia." >'Yes, ofcourse, Twilight, now please, hush.' >The two stand on Canterlot high's athletic field >['T-this must be a test of some kind. To see if I'm ready to be her full time assistant!'] >'I wont let you down, Principal Celestia- Oops..' >"Ah, right on time." >A mass migratory herd of young men rounds the corner taking to the track >['You've both been waiting out here just to watch the boys run the mile?'] >"H-HI, SWEETIE!!~" She shouts, waving excitedly and spilling little drops of her coffee >Anonymous looks over from his spot among the front runners and waves, shouting 'HII MOMM!' >['Unf y-you could get used to coming home to that, too'] >'HELLO, ANONYMOUS, IT'S ME TWILIGHT!' >He just shakes his head >['W-WAS THAT A GRIN? I THINK HE SMILED!'] >Anonymous comes up to the pair before heading back into the locker room >"Um I j-just wanted to watch my sunbeam run around and be sweaty and get a hug from him~" Mom beams while twirling her hair >'Tee hee, me too!' >They both slowly turn to look at you >['..Yeah, Twilight, that was definitely one of those things you should've thought instead of saying aloud.'] ======================================================================================================================================= >"Alright, mom, auntie, I'm heading out for work. Love you." >'Have a nice day, sweetheart.' >'Come back to us safely, nephew.' >The pair stand at the front door waving as he drives off >Once he's out of sight they exchange devious glances >'M-ME FIRST!' >'AGE BEFORE BEAUTY, LITTLE SISTER~' >They clamor upstairs to Anon's room >'YES!!!' Mom says diving spread eagle onto his bed, immediately bunching herself up in covers and sheets >Auntie throws open the closet door and looks down to see a hamper full of worn clothing >'JACKPOT!' >Mom's rolling around like a cat, bathing in his scent and inhaling his pillows >'Still warm~' >Auntie sits cross legged while making it rain boxers, shirts, pants and socks >"Hello? Mom? Auntie? Me again, I forgot my nametag, I'm just going upstairs to grab it before leaving again." >their faces when >Celestia, thinking quickly, locates the nametag on Anon's side table and slides it under the door before Anon sees >"Oh, hey, here it is. I must have dropped it. See you later, you guys!" >The fear of getting caught just strengthens their arousal ======================================================================================================================================= >Be Anon, walking the halls of the castle. >It's a beautiful day, the birds are singing, a cool breeze is in the air and it is just a good day. >"Oh no, oh no, oh no! It's okay, I can fix this!" >Twilight says in a panic. >Well it was a good day anyway, it's never good when she has that tone. >"Just stay in here for now until I get back." >She says backing out of the throne room and shutting the door, not noticing your approach. "Hi Twilight." >"PRINCE ANONYMOUS!" >She screams in surprise as she sees you. >She then looks between you and the closed door and presses herself against it, attempting in a poor way to blockade you from the throne room. >"What are you doing here?" "I live here remember?" >"Of course you do! How could I have forgotten? Well good catching up with you, bye!" >Okay, something is seriously wrong. "Twilight, is everything alright?" >"GOOD- GREAT- I mean, everything is going great and there is no need for you to go into the throne room where Princess Celestia is. Yup, good old ONE Princess Celestia." "Okay, now I'm really concerned." >You effortlessly brush her aside and jiggle the handle finding the door locked. "Mom? You okay in there?" >"Sunshine? Is that you? Mommy's here sunbeam!" >"Oh no! Are you hurt? I knew castle life was too dangerous for you!" >"You didn't break anything did you? Twilight already did that." >Your... mom says. >That was weird. >The door bursts open and you see your mother, only there are three of them. >There is silence between all of you for a moment. "Twilight... explanation, NOW!" >"I was showing Princess Celestia an old magical relic, and it broke. The room went white and when the light fadded, they were there. She was split into three personalities. Motherly love, over protective, and no nonsense." >They continue to look at you. "You're going to fix this. And you're going to fix it now." >"I'm afraid it's not that simple..." >Motherly Love keeps insisting that nothing has changed and that she'll "always be your mommy". Generally kind of sobby and always looking for an excuse to hug Anon oh god why did that hurt so much to write? >Overprotective mostly wants to keep Anon away from Twilight and sees the latest failed experiment as proof that she's dangerous and "no good for my little boy" >No-Nonsense still bears in mind that she is a Princess and orders Twilight to fix it, lest she face "punishment". Punishment is, of course, being bent over her horseknee and spanked. No-Nonsense rolls her eyes at Motherly Love and has to stop her from spoiling Anon too much. I'd love to see how they get along with Luna. ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon is grouchy when he's woken up >Luna decides to wake him up remotely >Uses her dream magic to implant the words "please wake up" in his dreams and hopes that his subconscious will take the hint and wake his ass up >Instead, the message weasels its way into the waking world >Anon will open a book and for a split second, "please wake up" will replace whatever sentence he's reading >Anon, who appeared in Equestria late enough in his life that he still easily remembers his life on Earth, is now paranoid that Equestria is a dream >Celestia is not happy with her sister >"What will you have, Luna?" >>"The salad looks wonderful." >"And you, sweetie?" >You look down at the menu and consider your options. >There's the steak... that's always nice. >BLT minus the B is one of your favourites. >"Please wake up" is the soup of the day. >You- >.... >Tomato soup. >Tomato soup is the soup of the day. ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, sweetheart... I know that many young ladies among the student body see becoming, uh 'close' with you as a sure-fire way to get better grades. After all, what teacher would dare flunk their boss' son's girlfriend, right? What I'm trying to say, pumpkin, is that you treating the female students as your own personal harem is exceedingly inappropriate." "Oh come on, I'm not that bad." >"Darling, it says here that you threatened to cut off one student's private parts if he, and I quote, ever so much as looked at your twelfth favourite squeeze again." "I was kidding! Just a bit of harmless banter between guys, you know?" ======================================================================================================================================= >"You fucking c-chad!" >'Your day is coming, normie!' >Anonymous rolls his eyes, shaking his head: "Yeah ok, just make sure you don't shoot up the school on tendies day." >Anon fixes the problem by fucking them both "You still gonna do something to the school?" >Twilight, panting, lays her sweaty head down on your chest. >Meanwhile, Moondancer is already asleep, cuddling you from the opposite side. >"M-maybe... maybe later. We don't have a t-time limit." >"Sweetie?" >Your mom claps her bathrobe together, hiding every familiar inch of cleavage. >"Who are these girls, and why are they here?" "They were gonna shoot up the school," >Celestia's eyes go wide "I shot them full of kids instead." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Grrr~ Are you here to pillage my horde, young man?" >'N-no, the uh, townsponies asked me to ask you to maybe not..burn so many of them alive.' >"And they sent such an adorable little errand boy." heh. Even as a dragon... >"Are you sure they're so upset about a little... sunburn?" *awkward pause* "...so they would like to ask you not to demand, ah, virgins" >"I should invite your uncle Trogdor to visit. Then they'd really have something to complain about." "so, about those virgins" >"pfft. As if I were interested in inexperienced lovers. Also, I happen to know that the only virgins left in Ponyville are Scootaloo and the Cakes' twins." "...uh, and wanted to know whether there was any other form of tribute you asked for" >"Cake." "...how mu--" >"All the cake. And such other baked goods as I should have a craving for." "I'll relay that--" >"One other thing." "Yes?" >"Does this hoard make my butt look big?" ======================================================================================================================================= >ITT: Yandere Momlestia >"Oh, sweetheart, I'm soo sorry it didn't work out with her." >"There, there, I know it hurts, but, the truth is, NO other girl will love you as much as I do, sunshine." >"Just..put those thoughts out of your head, Anonymous, you neednt dwell on them any longer." >the truth is, NO other girl will love you as much as I do, sunshine." >possessive momlestia chasing away other mares so she can have anon only for herself >also unresolved sexual tension UNF >She kisses away a few tears >"Shhh, it's alright. It'-...haa~" >"A-anonymous, you know mommy loves you very, VERY much, right?" >She's no longer kissing his face, but his neck >"You're the most important man in my life, Anonymous. The ONLY man in my life." >"My sunshine, I'm asking you to make me yours." >Anonymous pulls away from her and stands up >'Mom. I-I love you more than anything..' He says running a hand across her side, scritching lightly and coming to rest upon a wing >"Mmmph..ahhh~." >Before quickly forcing her head down and pulling back one of her wings and holding it between his teeth >'And I've wanted this for SO long, too.' >"Mmmm.... That's mama's boy~" >she holds a mirror behind the two of you >you look past her into it to see yourself continually entering her >"L-look at *THAT*." >"Oh, m-mommy can feel you getting close." >"Are you going to cum soon, sweetie? Are you gonna cum inside of mommy?" >You wrap your arms tight around her barrel and bury your face in her chest tuft, the image in the mirror too much for you to take. >A couple minutes later when the two of you are finished, you happen to glance behind Celestia. >The mirror is still there. >You can see your seed dripping from her swollen, winking sex. >you look back and hold eye contact with her >you give a light smirk as you move a finger towards her ponut >hfw you gently stroke her tail dock ======================================================================================================================================= >knows Anon requires meat in his diet >thinks she may be stifling his natural predator urges by providing it so easily >"Anonymous, every day, starting bright and early, you and I will engage in some..'light calisthenics'." >She has you chase her around the palace grounds Similar scenario (which is contingent on Anon not being a bloated man-ball): >Luna learns that humans used to hunt by literally walking down their prey. >Luna decides she wants to understand, so she temporarily binds her own magic with some sort of nullifier and poses as prey for Anon to chase down. >She runs away, Anon tracks and pursues her. >she falls asleep, Anon is there. >Every time she turns around, Anon is coming up behind her. >After a couple of days, both of them are exhausted but Anon is still coming and she's getting truly unnerved. >She finally finds herself in a mental space where she truly feels like "prey." >After three or four days of pursuit, Anon finally catches up to her and removes the nullifier-thingie from Aunti's horn, and Luna finds she's actually rattled. >Luna unable to decide whether she was exhilarated or terrified by the whole experience, but either way, her beloved nephew can be slightly spooky >Be Luna. >You've been running for so long. >Every time you try to sleep, he is there. >When you try to eat, be it grass from the garden, or pancakes from the cook's. He is there. >He doesn't even run after you. >He just walks... >And for some reason you hear weird sounds now. >Whenever he's near they come. >'ch ch ch ch. Ah ah ah ah. Ch ch ch ch. Ah ah ah ah.' >There they are. >You look behind you, down the long hall. >There he is, walking towards you. >You'd run, but you're too tired. >You can barely lift a hoof, let alone run. >He's getting close now. >You close your eyes and drift off to sleep one last time. >Be Anon. >Poor auntie Luna's been running from you. >It was fine at first, but then she got really skinny. >So Mom told you to catch her and bring Luna to her. >You're now carrying a passed out Luna to your mother. ======================================================================================================================================= >"What do you think of mommy's lingerie, Sunshine?" >Celestia turns around, giving you a good look from all angles of the cunningly-made glossy thigh-length boots, snug, formfitting leather jumpsuit, hood and choker. She's pulled her mane through the hood in a ponytail. >UNF >"I thought it would enhance our play sessions a bit. it feels wonderful against my skin. And I had matching underwear made..." Uhhh..I thought leather wasn't a thing here... >She blushes and smiles coyly. "I had it...specially imported. And guaranteed cruelty-free..." for a certain definition of the word, she finishes under her breath. "Uh...what was that?" >"I didn't say anything." ======================================================================================================================================= >"*mmmmwah!~*" >"The kissy monster is going to get you, sweetheart." >'M-mom, stop, I'm 32.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, sweetie, I promise you'll have fun at Auntie Moon's and it's just for a few days." >'E-everything is 'MOON PRISON THIS' and 'MOON PRISON THAT' though, mom.' >"*Mwah~* I don't want to hear it, your Aunt loves you very much, now be good, she's coming." >Your Crazy Aunt saunters along the featureless grey desertscape of the moon >"Y-YOU WILL HAVE TO FORGIVE US, NEPHEW, WE DID NOT HAVE TIME TO CLEAN THE PLACE, HA HA!" >You wonder if her neighbors Ignignokt and Err are going to be here again ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anonymous, you're royalty and I'll NOT see my royal son casually 'walking' about when we are out." >"You will ride atop me." >'What-, what's the riding crop for, mom?' >Ywn ride her out in public >The masses will never be puzzled by the sight of their herald embracing such simplistic acts like being fed sugarcubes or whinny'ing >>'What-, what's the riding crop for, mom?' >"It's for when mommy's being lazy and needs a swift reminder to get going, sweetie~" ======================================================================================================================================= Hey mom I got a new girlfriend. >"My, isn't that so darling. You're quite taken by my son aren't you, Ms. Pie?" >"With your penchant for parties, one might've mistaken your infatuation with him for a fleeting flight of fancy, hmm?" >Mom gets up and walks to the coffee maker in her office >"Not me, though. No, I can see that's genuine love in your eyes." She says taking a sip >"And it sickens me." >"My son is a veritable cornucopia of choice genes, an ADONIS, if you will." >"I didn't raise him to sink it into the first girl to tell him how 'nervouscited' he makes her." >Pinkie is shaking in her seat as Mom sits back down across from her >"What I'm saying, Ms. Pie, is that should I hear of you holding any kind of parties, or 'par-tays' with my son, you'll be spending every Saturday for the rest of the school year in detention." >"Okie dokie lokie?" No one loves you like mom does So what girl or woman is worth Anon's genes? These two lookers Got to keep the line pure. >Celestia will never arrange you and Aunt Luna to get married and wants to make love in front of her. >Her 'vows' are a 45 minute long description of what she's going to do to you on the wedding night >"And after our petting session, we shall engage in a rigorousgame of Stratego." >"But Sister, marrying and making love to my nephew is immoral." >"YOU WILL GIVE ME A PURE GRAND CHILD!" "Mom, no." >"Oh, sweetie," your mom coos, gently crossing her arms under bare breasts and propping them up, "Don't be like that." "I'm not having sex with you. >Celestia pouts playfully, purposefully shrugging her arms and making her breasts jiggle. >She slips out from under the covers and sits cross-legged, exposing her plump lower lips. >"Anon, we've been over this; genetic defects take more than a single generation to manifest. And besides, you'll have two lovers who will never ever stop loving you; never ever." >The covers shift and Aunt Luna crawls out from where your mom's crotch was just a minute ago. >"Anon?" asks your aunt, equally naked, "Listen to your mother." >Celestia watches you and Aunt Luna fuck. >"Yes, go deeper son and shoot your seed inside my sister, make her your's. >Celestia lavishes Luna's swollen belly more than the prospective father >Only the best genes for this newborn >Anon is his daughters uncle >Celestia is her grand aunt OK OK TIME OUT "Mom? Could you maybe tone it back a little bit? It's getting weird." >"It's been weird from the beginning, sweetheart." >throughout the ordeal, a single, minor bothersome thought meanders through his mind >"..Does this mean I'll be my own grandfather?" >"Jesus, I've really got to draw the line somewhere, and fast." I like this idea though, of mom watching you get your fuck on and getting off herself or giving you pointers but with Cadence WHY STOP THERE >"Anonymous, did you know your cousin Cadence is the dean of admissions at Canterlot Prep?" >'Wow, she's the boss of something that isn't peetzer related?' >"Hush, you. She's in your room waiting to talk to you about a possible transfer. Best behavior, young man." >'Aye aye, captain. The lithium crystals are br-r-r-eakin up, mom, she cannae take nu more!" >"ROOM." >You don't even turn around to see mom's amaterasu glare >Once inside your room you flip on the light to find your older cousin sitting on your bed >"Oh shit, I'm so-..wait, Condense, what's going on?" >'I've been looking over your transcripts and permanent records.' She says, letting them idly fall out of the manila folder she's holding >'..'Habitual troublemaker'..'Multiple notifications of truancy'...'Unlimited potential but lazy'.' >'My, my, is THAT the type of student I want to place my reputation on the line for?~' >"Look, Candy, it's kind of important to mom that I get accepted. It'd really tak-" >'Shhh. As it so turns out, you ARE the type of ..young man I would do this for.' >'You are the type of young man I want, beneath me, at Canterlot Prep.' >What >"..I'm sorry, what?" >'Anonymous, I know you've always had a crush on me. Even now I can spot that tent you're pitching.' >'I promise I'll quit torturing you right now if you tell me what you like most about me.' >FCUK >She's since taken your hands and guided you to sit beside her >"I-it's tough to put into words, you know, I-I mean if I had to choose just one thing.." >She licks your neck and starts fondling your crotch >'Mmm, surprise me, pick one.' >"Y-you always made me feel so safe and loved as a kid. H-how hot and funny you are were j-just added bonuses." >"Iloveyou." >[a little while later] >"Oh my, she must really be laying down some truth up there, perhaps I should tell her not to be so hard on him." >Mom puts an ear against your door >'Y-YOU GONNA BE A GOOD BOY, ANON, YOU GONNA LISTEN TO DEAN CADENCE?' >"YES, AH, I'LL BE GOOD!" ======================================================================================================================================= Lovely thought: >Celestia knows her adopted primate child is growing up and needs to feel more independent >She also knows he never felt he fit in with 'high society' and all of the dignitaries living and working within the castle >But she's having a hard time letting go >She builds a small, modest house in a secluded corner of her vast, sprawling garden >Even thought she usually has to start her royal duties pretty early, she still makes time a few days a week to have breakfast with her favorite green guy >Anon names his little burg Anonland >Later annexes mom & auntie's bedrooms as principalities >Levies a tax on cakes entering the castle through Anonland >Mom offers he integrate his sovereign state or she'll withhold winghugs >He dashes the pieces on his stratego map aside >"She's clever, I'll give her that.." ======================================================================================================================================= Naughty thought: >Be 12yo Anon >Be at home with your gf, Pinkie >Mom and Auntie are stuck at some parent - teacher conference >Won't be home for hours >You're lying on your bed, pants and boxers pulled to your knees >You wanted to go all the way with her, but she said she's not ready for that yet >But she came up with a compromise: "How about you let me play with your 'pastry frosting bag' until you shoot your 'sweet creme' all over my 'cupcakes'?" >Pinkie's tugging away for about 7 or 8 minutes before you let her know you're about to nut inner dialog: >T-3 seconds; you're gonna give this girl the facial of a lifetime >T-2 seconds; this is going to be the greatest moment of your lif-waitwhyisthedooropening >T-1 second; abortabortabortabortabortabortabortabort-toolate,thisishappening,braceforimpact >"Sweetie, I'm home early from my meeti-ohmygod!" >There she is... your mother >Staring shocked at her little boy, laying on his bed, body bowed and spasming, grunting like a gorilla, shooting his preteen load all over his girlfriend's face And that's as far as I'm going because I have to fap now. One final thought / lewd story prompt: >Anon has some kind of pseudo-Oedipus complex: He doesn't want to have sex with Momlestia, but he can't get off unless he knows that she's aware he's currently masturbating or fucking ======================================================================================================================================= >"Oh my..I'll definitely have to share these with Luna, Anonymous certainly has a way with words." >"..'There I was, gazing at my mom's ass. My adoptive horse mother, the mare who'd loved, cherished, and raised me into the man I am today.'.." >"..'It was now or never, I had to make the first move and be sure she felt the same.'.." >"L-lewd.." >"..'Mom?' I asked? 'Can we mak-'" >'Princess Celestia?' >"FUCKING SHIT, TWILIGHT DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT." ======================================================================================================================================= >You've flipped through one too many of Luna's neighponese 'love' comics >It's just a meme, right? >..Whatever a 'meme' is >What level headed mother wants to have sex with her son? >With her, handsome, virile son >"You ok, mom?" >"Mom?" >Oh phoenix shit, he's looking >'N-NEVER WETTER!' >'*ahem* Better. Never better, sweetheart.' >*drip* >"...K." ======================================================================================================================================= >You will never make the mistake of teasing your half-stack short auntie about her "self-defense classes" >You didn't know she was taking pro MMA lessons from a jujitsu black belt >You place your hand on her shoulder and laugh while you ask her if the price of the lessons comes with a can of mace and a rape whistle >When you feel her dainty hands grab your wrist, you look down at her to see an evil grin spread across her face >Before you can blink, you're laying on your side with your head and neck pinned to your shoulder, and your aunts thighs are squeezing them together like a vise. >While the corners of your vision start to blacken and you feel your consciousness slip away, you can hear her say, "Good night, sweet prince." >You will never tease your mom about her "Foxy Boxing" classes >What she didn't tell you was she was being trained by a former light-heavyweight world champion and an Olympic gold medalist >You make fun of her seemingly oversized gloves and tell her she could hit you a thousand times and it wouldn't hurt a bit >You then egg her on by sticking your face out towards her and pointing at your lips while making kissing noises >After what happens next, it'll take a week for your vision and jaw to straighten back out >All it takes is one solid right rook to your face to send you sprawling out on the floor >Over the new ringing in your ears, you faintly hear your mother chanting, "Celly! Bomaye! Celly! Bomaye!" as she's jogging laps around the gym. ======================================================================================================================================= >Vice Principal Luna knocks on her sister's door >"Come in." >'Sister, will you not join us for lunch?' >"I..I would, Lulu, but I-I've ..*sniff*" >'Tia, please, do not be sad.' >"I just miss him is all. D-do you know how many times he'd come into my office throughout the course of the day just to say hi or 'I love you, mom'?" >'..I-it is what's best for his education, Sister.' >"I just hope he's taking to his new surroundings and making friends.." >Meanwhile at Canterlot Prep all the students think Anon is some kind of Mad Max for 'enduring' public school with no chauffeurs or weekly 10k allowances >Anon still uses a smart phone that is over two years old. >He drives a beat up car from early 90s >He got his clothes from Target and Walmart. >His parents made less than $100,000 a month. >He has gone to hell known as public school and survived to tell the tale. >"I must say, he does have a certain..pedestrian allure to him." Fleur whispers to Suri >'I wouldn't mind taking measurements on that body. Probably had to fight everyday in their gladiator ring.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"Anon do you like our new underwear?" >You didn't know that mom and auntie had tattoos. Little does Anon know they used to ride with a biker gang. "Aunty Luna, why do those huge guys with the leather jackets and the scars call you Curb Stomper?" >"Oh, well... perhaps that's a story best saved for when you're older, dear Anon." "Okay, but why do they also call you Fuck Machine?" ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Anonymous >Duh >And you're about to engage in some good old fashioned all american red blooded shoot em' up vidya >Jeah boyeee it's about that time to cap some bi- >The door to your room bursts open >'ABSOLUTELY NOT, LUNA, IT'S ONE THING TO INSINUATE YOU'VE THE BETTER REAR, BUT TO SAY CADENCE CAN OUTDO US BOTH?!' >No >No god please >You were so close to having a normal day without having to judge anoth- >"THE RULES ARE QUITE CLEAR, SISTER, MAJORITY RULES AND AS SUCH, CADENCE AND I DEMAND AN ASS-OFF." >'Hmmph, fine!' >Mom turns to you and changes her tone instantly >'I know my boy will make the right decision. Think of how many meals you've taken off these cheeks, sweetheart.' >boner approaching titanium hhhhwhite levels >"Nephew, thou art the most level headed and honest male we know, surely you will see your Aunt's posterior as the superior rear." >Cadence walks up between them and turns, exposing her bottom >She gives it a light slap >Datjiggle >So there's 3 butts in front of you >OR you can take the mystery box! >'Mooom..' You whine >'Do you realize how unfair this is, to me? Like, do you think I want to make my aunt or cousin feel bad?' >You place quick kisses on all 3 >'There, you've all got nice butts.' >Which was a mistake >'...Wow, really, REALLY nice, soft, round butts..' >Because those kisses turn from pecks to vigorous hungry snogs >The 3 turn their heads and meet eyes >Mom rolling hers and Cadence & Luna adorning expressions of pure contentment >They know you'll pick a winner eventually >Eventually ======================================================================================================================================= >Mom is on Anon to take a more active role in his Princely duties >Names him an ambassador of goodwill to foreign nations >Leaders are always so enthused and happy to have him >He always returns so tired and haggard >It's not easy practicing diplomacy with a dick that doesn't listen >Mom finds it a bit out of sorts when she gets a letter from the minotaur princess asking for more frequent visits from him in the name of diplomacy >Then one from Blue Nile, Princess of Saddle Arabia >Later on in the day a large ruby is thrown at the doorsteps of the palace with a crudely written letter stating "DIMUN DOG WANT MOR GREEN MAN" >Anonymous crawls through the door dragging his limp lower body >"M-mom, there's gotta be another way for us to smooth relations over without having to whore me out." >Mom's counting all her various forms of currency >'Oooh, solly, wish there was but no can do. Equestria has never been so prosperous, sweetheart! Your special brand of delegating is paving the way to lead us to a brighter future!' >"..Well what've you been doing the whole time?" >She pushes a few hyperspace hyperwars figures into her desk drawer and uses her magic to quickly roll up the game map >'M-motherly princess type duties.' >Luna enters and immediately begins to fawn and fuss over Anon >'SISTER! For shame! All this so the griffons will release the tariff on their scones?' >She covers Anon in a wing hug and kisses his bruises >'My champion..dear nephew, what horrors hath your body endured...' >"I..wouldn't call them 'horrors', exactly..b-but I sure could use a hot bath..and a sandwhich." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Alright, Luna, if we're to have our very own ehh, 'Thanksgiving', we should try to make it authentic as possible for Anonymous." >'Agreed.' >"So, what do we know about thanksgiving?" >'We believe it to be a feast shared in the spirit of thanks, Sister.' >"Hmm..feast..thanks. Makes sense, what else?" >'We also seem to recall Nephew reminiscing how the Cowboys of Dallas and the Lions of Detroit always hold court on that day.' >"Feasts? Beasts? Oh my." >'..It is also possible that the pilgrims died for the sins of all humans but we may have gotten that mixed with another tale our Nephew has relayed.' >"Stars above, Lulu, how did Anonymous survive it?" >'The agent 'Tryptophan' supposedly calmed the masses for 24 hours before an event named 'Black Friday'.' >"I'm going to hug the everloving fuck out of that boy when he gets home..braving such ferocities like that." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hello, my little ponies, and welcome once again to True Celestial Radio." >"A. in Canterlot, you have the floor." >'T-THOU HATH A LARGE RUMP! *click*' >"Oh dear, already with the troublemakers. Anonymous, sweetheart, do be a bit more diligent in screening our calls." >"Mmm, ok, C. in Clydesdale Bluffs, you're on." >'SIST-, I MEAN PRINCESS, IS IT TRUE THOU ART ADDICTED TO CAKE?' *click* >"..OH YOU GODDAMN-.." >"I AM A NICE PRINCESS, OK! I AM A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP!" >[SCROLLS.WAV] She is your host, the mom they call ghost ======================================================================================================================================= >>Anon never had a "mother/son" relationship with Celestia >>He doesn't even meet her in person until a year after he's settled down in Ponyville >>When Celestia visits, it's like a switch has been thrown in her head >>Anon has turned from "Twilight's silly alien friend" to "tiny adorable babuu who doesn't have a mother to take care of him" hnngggg >You are Anon, and you've got mail. >It's a parcell from Princess Celestia. >You open it and find a thick sweater and a small metal container filled with chocolate chip cookies; still warm. >Both items appear to be hand-made. >There's a small note under the sweater. >"Hoping you are well and that this will make you feel a little less lonely." >.... >Did you seriously just get a care package in the mail from Celestia? >Anon starts spending more time with her unaware she sees him as colt to be doted on >She covers his eyes during scary parts in movies >Never lets him go outside without telling him to take a sweater >Is quick to 'protect' him from other mares ======================================================================================================================================= Hey mom I got a new girlfriend. >"No, you didn't." "Excuse me?" >Your mother doesn't look at you; she's too busy glaring hatefully at Pinkie Pie. >"No," she growls, "You didn't." >>"No, you didn't." "Excuse me?" >Your mother doesn't look at you; she's too busy glaring hatefully at Pinkie Pie. >"No," she growls, "You didn't." "Uh... okay then. In that case, hooray, I got a new casual fuckbuddy!" >Your mother marches over to you and Pinkie, glaring at your girlfriend/fuckbuddy/whatever your mom will allow >Your mom uses her right hand to point menacingly at Pinkie. >"This-" >You squeak when mom shoves her left hand down your pants and grabs your cock >"-is mine." >She squeezes gently and you moan involuntarily. >"MINE." ======================================================================================================================================= >"I uh..I have some concerns about where this is headed, mom." >"You know exactly where this is headed, Anon." >Your mom winks and toys with the top-most button of her shirt. >It's only now that you notice that she isn't wearing a bra. l u n c h "Remind me again why Auntie's pregnant but /you're/ lactating?" >Celestia exposes a breast and presents you with a dark, engorged nipple. >"Sympathetic pregnancy, dear. Now eat up." "Don't be gross, mom." >Luna chooses this moment to speak up. >"This coming from the boy who impregnated his aunt." >She may have a point. I like this story that's being constructed, bit by bit. >Celestia realizes that Anon's genes are perfect, and he needs to breed with another being with perfect genes >Though, SHE can't be the one to do it >She's his mother, and that would just be weird, so the only logical alternative is her sister. >Anon will impregnate his aunt so that their perfect genes will create an even more perfect child >Luna is reluctant to be a part of this immoral, vile marathon of incest, but ultimately caves to Celestia's pressure >After much supervised lovemaking, Anon successfully impregnates his aunt >Celestia dotes over her sister closely, as well as preparing her own body to care for this new, perfect child >Progesterone intensifies I would think that spending so long around her pregnant sister and seeing Luna and Anon's lovemaking would make Celestia tempted. Maybe Luna goes on a diplomatic mission, and Anon needs "relief". And his perfect genes simply can't just go down the toilet, can they? >"You know, where I come from, Princes get concubines, mom." >'Anonymous I have read extensively on royal lineages from your world and they all impregnate their aunts at SOME point.' >You ALMOST got to have a normal Friday >Anon convinces Momhorse of that >She lends other ponies bodies to him >Sooner or later, the shrieks from his room make her go nuts >She barters with Chrysalis: his perfect genes and a home in Canterlot for changeling magic >She changes into (horse) and seduces her son >He wants to roleplay an incest scenario, which warms her heart >Shijinks happen when he meets (horse) in public and acts like he knows her >Momhorse and Anon and his harem live happily ever after, Mom being alpha and the rest for breeding a new dynasty Green when? ======================================================================================================================================= >Twilight pays a visit to Principal Celestia >Some BS about forming a friendship committee or something >Mom spots an errant bit of clothing that was ripped off her the last time she and Anonymous 'used' her office >Has to get creative hiding it >"Uh..HIT THE DECK, TWILIGHT!" >She jumps past her and lands sprawled out behind her ontop of the bra >"F-false alarm, but next time it might not be. Work on that hustle, Twilight." ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon turns out to have great ideas. >Makes blueprints for equestrias first tanks jets ect. >Sells them off to different country's. >"Anon dear." "Yes mom?" >"Honey why didn't you tell mommy you had ideas for advanced war machines?" >You deadpan at her. "I did... When i showed you them You said and i quote 'Oooh what a pretty drawing I'll make sure to put it on the refrigerator.'..." ======================================================================================================================================= >"A-Anonymous will you g-go on a date with me?" >Twilight Sparkle the mare you've known all your childhood just asked you out. >You don't know how to react. >You've known her for so long. Did she really have these feelings for you? >Though you can't lie you have always thought of her as a really good friend. But a girlfriend? >The look in her eyes say she worked up alot of courage to do this. >Not like those other mares who just want you for your title. >She genuinely looks like she cares. >What's there to lose. "Of course i will." >With a start, Anon jolted awake, his heart beating so hard that it felt like it was going to burst from his chest. >Running a hand through his hair as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he breathed a sigh of relief. >It was a dream... It was all just a horrible dream. >To think that his subconscious would torment him so, concocting some weird parallel world where Pudgelight Bookdork had the nerve to ask him out. >Even stranger, why did he say yes? >Twackle Sprackle was a horrible, unattractive fatty-bum-bum who drank his chocolate milk when he was a kid. >It was fair to say that Anon held nothing but the profoundest of contempt for the purple pest. >A soft groan Drew Anon's attention to the bed's other occupant. >"Anonymous, what are you doing?" >The young prince shook his head, dispelling the unpleasant images of Twat Spatula that lingered in his mind. "Nothing, Fleur, just had a weird dream." >The mare let out a tired sigh. "You know... seeing as we're both awake, how about we try for round thirty seven?" ======================================================================================================================================= >Ponies doing horse things my heart~ Well, yeah, what's the point of a horse mom if she doesn't do horse things? >Horsemom gets enthusiastic when Anon gives her her "good morning" ear-scratch; aggressively nuzzles Anon, pushes him over, and lays down on top of him >Celestia and Anon go on a picnic >Anon says something that upsets Celestia >She starts nickering and kicking over the cups and dishes >Calms her down by gently stroking her muzzle and occasionally placing a soft kiss on it >When Anon greets Auntie Luna too early in the morning and before her coffee, she tries to bite him ======================================================================================================================================= >Horsemom and Horseaunt instinctively see Anon as a predator and are more inclined to act aggressive around him, much to their chagrin >"Ow! Auntie Luna, why?!" >>"We are sorry, nephew! It just happens!" >"I impregnated you for fuck's sake!" >"And I'm just trying to protect our foal!" ..... >Luna getting cravings for meat during her pregnancy due to her carrying a foal with human genes >Luna and Anon's foal having very distinct canine teeth and a human's digestive tract >Luna and Anon's foal getting a kick out of grossing out their friends by eating meat in front of them >the pregnancy is causing some rather peculiar behavioral side effects >Luna eating dozens upon dozens of roast beef sandwiches >Anon and Celestia can only look in awe as ponies left and right are desperately trying to keep themselves from vomiting profusely >"Personally, I can't wait to see what the FUCK comes out of there in six more months..." ======================================================================================================================================= My aunt has this one horse at her place that was always friendly but I noticed the last few times I walked by to feed the rest of them, he had his ears back. She caught him one time doing this and grabbed him by his halter and scolded him until he turn them back around. She said basically you need to tell them to drop the attitude forcefully on occasion. I sometimes call her the horse yeller. >Be Anon. >You Luna and Celestia are eating. >all of the sudden auntie just sits straight up ears back glaring. >"Oh no, Luna not again..." Mom mumbles. >You're confused. >A gaurd Mare clad in dark blue armour walks up and grabs Luna by her regal. >"You listen here! You will NOT act like that!" The gaurd mare yells. >"Hey! Buck thee thy bi-" Luna trys to retort but is ment with a pull to her royal. >"NO, we will NOT have that! You get off that attitude RIGHT NOW!" The mare yells. >Luna's ears go up and the gaurd lets her go. >You sit there as Luna quietly finished her food and went to bed. >... "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" >A guard mare walks up to you. ======================================================================================================================================= Hey mom I got a new girlfriend. >"My, isn't that so darling. You're quite taken by my son aren't you, Ms. Pie?" >"With your penchant for parties, one might've mistaken your infatuation with him for a fleeting flight of fancy, hmm?" >Mom gets up and walks to the coffee maker in her office >"Not me, though. No, I can see that's genuine love in your eyes." She says taking a sip >"And it sickens me." >"My son is a veritable cornucopia of choice genes, an ADONIS, if you will." >"I didn't raise him to sink it into the first girl to tell him how 'nervouscited' he makes her." >Pinkie is shaking in her seat as Mom sits back down across from her >"What I'm saying, Ms. Pie, is that should I hear of you holding any kind of parties, or 'par-tays' with my son, you'll be spending every saturday for the rest of the school year in detention." >"Okie dokie lokie?" No one loves you like mom does So what girl or woman is worth Anon's genes? >"Ah wonder what Principal Celestia wants to meet with me about.." >"Anon and I are supposed to meet up after school." >Before she reaches mom's office, the door to Auntie's opens >'Ms. Apple.' >"Y-yesum' Vice Principal Luna?" >'My sister is..busy with another student at the moment. I shall be adressing the issue instead.' >"Issue?" >'Please, come in and we shall talk about it further..' >Before she entered and closed the door behind her, AJ spotted something across the hall on the bench outside mom's office >It was Rarity's backpack >"..I understand you are the 'designer' who tailored my son's suit for the upcoming fall formal, Ms. Belle, correct?" >'*Squee* Y-yes, Principal Celestia, that was my handiwork. Does he like it?' >"He DOES, yes, ..yes, as it turns out, my son is quite fond of it. Says it's 'fresh as fuck, mom.'" >'Wahah~ My word, that sounds like something he would s-' >"I, however, am not." >'..P-pardon?' >"Oh, heavens, dear, don't misinterpret what I'm saying. The suit is immaculate, and you clearly have an eye for fashion..among other things." >"There was just one teeny alteration..that I was not fond of." Mom says walking to a wardrobe at the far wall of her office >'Oh w-well if you brought it with you, perhaps I can fix it?' >Mom smiles as she takes the suit out and begins toward Rarity >"Oh I'm quite curious as to how you'll do that, Ms. Belle." >'I assure you, Principal Celestia, I am more than capabl-' >Mom taps a finger at the back of the collar where there's fine blue stitching barely visible >"You can get rid of this. Now." >It reads 'Property of Rarity Belle~' ======================================================================================================================================= >>Anon never had a "mother/son" relationship with Celestia >>He doesn't even meet her in person until a year after he's settled down in Ponyville >>When Celestia visits, it's like a switch has been thrown in her head >>Anon has turned from "Twilight's silly alien friend" to "tiny adorable babuu who doesn't have a mother to take care of him" >Anon is unbelievably uncomfortable when Celestia pops in and does motherly things to him >"Good colts get mommy-hugs!" >Anon puts up with it because she's royalty "Look. Could you just.... I'm an adu-you know what? Fine." >You open your arms wide and sigh, resigned to your fate. "Bring it home." >Celestia slams into you and nearly sends you tumbling, if not for her firm grip on you >"I knew you were a good colt." >You wriggle uncomfortably, feeling the stares of everypony around you. "Y-yeah..." >"MOMMY'S good colt~" >There are no words for this. >"Good BYE, Princess." >'..A-anonymous, if you're going to see me off, atleast put a sweater on, it's cold out.' >'Don't want you catching a cold, dear.' >It's 7 in the morning, and it's time to wake up and go to work. >You are Anon, and... and why do you smell pancakes? >You go downstairs to investigate the mysterious home invader, wondering why in the world they made pancakes. >"Good morning, sweetheart!" >Jesus take the wheel. >In the middle of your kitchen stands none other than Princess fucking Celestia. >Glad not in her royal regalia; but rather an apron hanging loosely from her neck, and one of your oven mitts stuck firmly on her horn. >"Did you sleep well? I know you're usually in a rush to get to work on time, so Mommy made you breakfast." >Her horn glows (you presume it does; you can't see it under the oven mitt) and a pancake hovers off of the skillet and into the air. >Celestia must have used some kind of mold, because the pancake is very clearly her cutie mark. "Why," you whisper in despair, already regretting waking up, "are you doing this?" >Celestia giggles and trots over to you. >When she gets within reach, she leans down and nuzzles your cheek. >"Because I love you, Anonymous." >She loves you. >The mare that you've had... maybe two conversations with. >Where does she get of- >Your thoughts are interrupted with a peck on the cheek. >"Eat up, sunshine. You want to grow up to be big and strong, right?" "You know, I'd be pissed right no-" >"LANGUAGE, young man." *sighs* "Sorry. I'd be ticked off right now, but these pancakes are just incredible. How'd you make them so light and fluffy and delicious?" >"Oh, Sunshine, it's nothing more than an old family recipe, fresh ingredients and a big cup of Mother's Love!" http://i.imgur.com/egYh4ou.png >The rest of the day passes without any 'motherly' interference >Glad to put it behind him, Anon settles down into bed for the night >Wakes up next morning >"..Wow, I feel great. Best night's sleep ever." >'No thanks are necessary, Nephew.' Luna says in bed next to him >'Our milk doth indeed do a body good.' ======================================================================================================================================= >"What are you going to do tomorrow, Luna?" >>"We shall present Anon with a bowl of cereal and then once he's done, inform him that the milk was Our own. And you?" >"Hmmm.... I think I'm going to visit him at work and give him a bagged lunch. I'll try to do it as loudly as possible and in front of as many ponies as I can." >>"Most devious." ======================================================================================================================================= >Isn't too happy about it >implying >"Anonymous Wayne Gretzky Jefferson-Moore, I have HAD it, mister!" >'...Huh?' >"Don't you 'huh?' me, young man, I know you're over there lusting about loose mares!" >"You are a Prince of Equestria and I'll not have the treasury paying for bastard offspring, now come, you will rut me instead." >'Mom, what the h-' >"L-look it's not like I want this or anything, b-but a good mother does what she can." >Anon shrugs >'Well if you're going to twist my arm about it, mom~' He says beginning to take off her crown and regalia >"Y-yes, sunshine..y-you exercise ALL those dirty thoughts on mommy- ehh, I mean..only doing this because good mom..unf." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Do you have it Tia?" "Yes, right here. Just the way he likes it and cooked to perfection. Regular cheese pizza" >"Excellent, then I shall just take it and deliver it to him promptly." >She tries to take his pizza from your magic with her own and you pull it back away from her. "Now Luna, I got him his pizza so I will give it to him." >"Clearly he would want his favorite aunt to deliver his meal to him." "Oh for- you're his ONLY aunt Luna." >"So clearly it means I am his favorite aunt by default." "It also means you are his least favorite aunt by default as well now let go before-" >With one last pull she tries to snatch it away from you and puts too much magic into her pulling and the box flies from both of your grips. >You both are so surprised by the turn of events you can only just look as the box and his beloved food falls onto the floor, ruining his meal and most likely his opinion of you. >You feel tears start to form in your eyes and hear sniffling coming from your sister. >Be Anon, and you are starving. >Mom asked if there was something special you would like for dinner, so you told her a pizza would be great. >But that was a while ago. >So long in fact that Aunt Luna said she would go looking for her. >Now you need to go look for both of them. >You don't have to look far because down the hall from where you were you see them both, and their crying? >Standing over- oh for fucks sake. "So... what happened here?" >They look up at you and sniffle and try to hold back tears. >"S-sunshine..." >"N-nephew..." >You sigh. "Come on it's fine. Let's all go to the kitchen and see if we can find something to eat, alright?" >They continue to sniffle but manage to nod before getting up and walking with you. >Just what are you going to do with them? ======================================================================================================================================= >One of the Canterlot guards doesn't like that a weird monkey is the prince >Refuses to acknowledge Anon as royalty >Tells six-year-old Anon that he's adopted >Later that evening, Celestia gathers up all the guards that were on shift that day for a meeting >No benevolence in her eyes >Her smile and optimism; gone >"My tiny, precious Anonymous came to me in tears today. He told me that one of the guards said something that was very upsetting to him. Which one of you thought it was a good idea to tell a foal that he was adopted?" >"NOPONY SAID IT, HUH?!" >Be Shining Armor. >For 10 hour's now. >10 BUCKING HOUR'S! >You've been interrogating these useless pieces of shit to find out which of these sorry asses insulted prince Anonymous. >The kid you've know since he arrived. >Since he was a bucking FOAL! >The colt call's you uncle Shiny for Celestia's sake! >But for some reason. One of the royal guards thought it would be a fun idea to bully the poor colt. >You've had all the guards line up. >You tried to be nice. >You really did. >But talking to them one by one just doesn't work and neither does being nice. >So turning them versus each other will. "Alright fillys! I have talked to each and everyone of you! But magically none of you had the balls to admit who did it! I tried to be nice to you all!" >You begin to slowly walk down the line. "I tried to give the pony who did it a easy out! You know what i would done if he or she admitted it?" >You ask eyeing each one of them. "I would have had them apologize and put on a weeks leave no pay! That's all." >A few of the stiffen up. "But that didn't happen! No instead you lied to me! And the longer you lie to me the worse it'll be!" >A couple start looking around nervously. "But i know you won't come out on your on! So instead, I'm docking all your pays till he comes out!" >All of them tighten up. "You see, i know more then one of you are lying! Because i check the schedule! You were all in groups of 4 to 2 at the time! So at least Two of you know who did it!" >A few look pissed. "And you can stay at home, but that would be abandonment and treason! So if the pony who did it won't come out maybe his friends will force him out! For every hour i wait, the pony who did it gets a month added to cleaning the mess hall AND the bathrooms!" >They begin looking among one another. "I'll be in my quarter's." >You say walking away. >He'll come out. >You just have to wait. >"We understand Captain Armor has begun an inquiry into which amongst you ..said what you said to our nephew." >"His inquiry will be thorough and just." >"However, We plan to hold our own 'interrogations' on the matter." >"We art issuing the lot of you a single last chance to confess, as once we begin, you will find our methods are much, much different than Captain Armor's." >"...So be it. We shall see the snake in the grass soon enough." >"Didst thou knoweth that back in Our day, royal guards guilty of the most dishonourable crime of insubordination were publically hanged as though they had committed treason against the crowns?" >Each and every guard stiffens. >"Such trivia hast nothing to do with the situation at hoof; we just thought thou might find such curiosity interesting." >None of the guards relax; none of the guards say anything. >"We art just saying." >"Oh my, please, sirs, there's no need for salutes on my account." >"I'm just the bubbly Princess of love!" >The guards noticeably relax >"You've absolutely nothing to fear from me~" She coos, her horn lighting up in a pink aura >"That is, unless, one or two of you maay have said something disparaging to my adorable little cousin.." >One of the guards begins choking out labored grunts >"If that were the case, then you'd be right to be afraid right now." >The others see a familiar pink aura coming from his under carriage >The look on his face reads one of mounting pain >They turn, mortified, back to Cadence >"You wont believe the powers love can grant when somepony you love has been hurt." ======================================================================================================================================= >"Mom, Auntie, seriously, every birthday it's the same thing." >"How many times do I have to tell you, you're NOT having mid life crisis's." >'I wish that were true, sweetheart, but I've already joined a poetry slam group and bought a new sportscart.' >'WE ART PONDERING TAKING OUT A LOAN FOR WHICH WE SHALL USE TO OPEN A SUSHI BAR, NEPHEW!' ======================================================================================================================================= Would auntie/cousin cadence /ss/ with anon? Cadence would volunteer to help "comfort" Anon after the whole "you're adopted" thing. She IS the Love Princess, after all. >"I'll bet you I can make you feel a whole lot better, cousin Anon~" I want to be molested by a loving authority figure cadence who some people would say I trust too much I want her to pretend like its a game and that we are gonna play "bellies" by pressing our stomachs together and lying on top of each other >"Mom, Auntie! Do you wanna play 'hide the salami'?" >"Me & Cadence play it all the time!" "Mom, Auntie! Do you wanna play 'fuck the pony ponut until said pony is a drooling mess'?" "Me and Cadence play it all the time!" "Also, I don't know how to keep my mouth shut!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon's first job is at mcdick's >He's working the drive thru >"Hi, welcome to McD's, may I take your order?" >'Yes, hello, I believe I will have an order of cute son with extra hugs and uhh..what else-, what else..Luna, do you want anything?' >'H-HELLO, NEPHEW, DOST THOU HAVE TIME FOR A QUICKIE?' >Anon's manager watching him all weird >"T-thank you, that'll be 7.84 at the window." "Hi, welcome to Hayburger, can I take your order please?" >After a moment you hear your relatives talking amongst themselves. >Your mom begins with "Luna, what do you want? We need to maintain our daily dose of Anon love." >"I'll take a smooch on the lips, love girl." >Was that supposed to be an insult? >You then hear your cousin Cadence speak up. >"Give me a smooch on the lips, just like hers." >And then Twilight. >"Let me get a mane petting with extra ear scratches." >And finally, your mom. >"I'll have two smooches on the lips, a sloppy tongue kiss, a mane petting with extra ear scratches, a rump massage, two snuggle sessions, one with wing preening, and a large dick." >...... "Okay..." ======================================================================================================================================= >You are sitting in your room and hear sniffling coming from yhe doorway. >Looking up you see your mom with tears in her eyes. "Mom! What's wrong? Is everything alright?" >"S-sunshine, your Aunt Luna called me fat. She said I eat too many cakes and have a body that proves it. You've always been honest with me, so can you please tell me if I look overweight?" >She asks lifting the front of her dress up and showing off her stomach. >And those are her panties. >At least she's wearing them today. "Mom, we've been over this. You know I think you look great no matter what, but if you want to join me the next time I work out you're more than welcome to. Also if you think you might be eating too much cake then you can always skip a slice if every now and then if it is getting to you this much." >"Thanks Anon *sniff* you always know what to say." >She kisses you on the cheek and leaves. >You swear it's like you're the grown up here. >"Nephew! Come at once! There is a spider in the hallway! You need to kill it before it kills us" >You sigh and stand up. >At least she didn't ask you to tie her shoes for her again. ======================================================================================================================================= >Anon in Equestria >Lives there for a year or so >Celestia FINALLY goes down to Ponyville to meet him >mommy-kokoro goes doki doki >Celestia convinces Anon to move into the castle with her; mostly using the argument "It's a castle" >Anon is down to clown with horse-fucking (1+ years of not seeing a single human woman and being surrounded by exposed horse-pussy will do that to you) >Takes Celestia's invite and sudden affections to mean "I want your human cockmeat" >Anon tries to get into Celestia's horsepants >Celestia must now contest with her brand-new "son" trying to become much more intimate with her than a mother and son should ever be >"Give mama a smooch on the lips, Anon~" >"Wh-what are you doing?!" "Kissing your lips." >"Not THOSE lips!" "You don't seem to be putting up much resistance..." >"Sweetie, no! Y-You're not supposed to do that to m-mama~" "Why not, "mama"?" >Celestia covers her eyes with her hooves, her legs opening almost imperceptibly wider >"Hnnnnng~" >Celestia never truly saw Anon as her foal >She just has a huge incest fetish and more or less kidnapped Anon so that he would play along >Keeps up the "he's my adopted son" thing for years >Ponies never know the wild sex they have all the time >They never know why Anon and Celestia blush when Anon calls her "mama" >Luna walks in on Celestia being "motherly" with Anon >Acts outraged and surprised, but soon caves and starts laughing >She'd been watching Celestia's perverted dreams about Anon this entire time and knew their secret >Had gone out of her way in the past to make it difficult for them; asking pointed questions about their behaviour and making innocent-sounding observations about how close Anon and Celestia are ======================================================================================================================================= >"And this is a portrait that was taken of me at my victory over the Griffons at the badlands, taken in March of 342, post-banishment." "W-Wow. That's... a really intimidating pose." >"Thank you, sweetheart. And THIS one is a portrait...." >You are Anon, and you've been kidnapped by this enormous (and newly-terrifying) white alicorn. >She says that she's your mother now and demands that you call her "mama" >You were going to tell her to fuck off, but then she started this tour of all her military conquests and records of her personal feats of strength and violence. >You may or may not have pissed yourself in fear. >"...Sunshine? Are you coming along?" "Y-YES, mama!" >You feel Celestia nuzzle your neck affectionately, and you shiver in cold fear. >This is going to be a long day. ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia insists that Anon sleep with her in the same bed at night >Justifies it by telling Anon that she just loves him that much (and that's not actually a lie) >In truth she's afraid of the dark and can't sleep by herself >she just puts a spell on him making sure he sleeps through the night >then she does all the things she wouldn't do during the day with him >like hugging and cuddling and sexual >Anon feels tired every morning >after a while he asks Momhorse why her stomach is bloated >she says it's a little sister, but she knows he's the father >after some time, Anon and his "sister" start boning incest runs in the family >she decides she needs to tell him the truth ======================================================================================================================================= >You are Luna, and you are searching for your nephew. >He's hiding here; you can feel it. >Hiding in his bedroom. >All the lights have been turned off, shrouding the cavernous room in shadow. >Oh... >He believes that he's clever, does he? >He thinks darkness is his ally. >You creep into the pitch-black room, using the faint outlines of furniture to guide you. >He may have adopted the darkness, but you were born in it. >You're the Night Princess, and you know every trick in the book on how to navigate in the darkness. >How to use ears, your eyes.... >And most importantly, your OPPONENT'S eyes. >Because you didn't see the light until you were already a mare. And by then.... >...by then it was nothing to you but BLINDING! >You squint as hard as you can and light up your horn. Pure daylight fills the room, painful in intensity to anypony whose eyes have already adjusted to the low light. >You expect to hear a shout (or, at the very least, finally get a good look at what's in the room), but all is quiet. >You let the spell stay active and give a quick once-over of your nephew's bedroom. >Huh. >He isn't there. >You are Celestia, and you have the best cuddle-buddy that you could ever ask for. >Your beautiful foal colt, Anonymous, is all snuggled up in Mommy's chest-tuft; warm and safe from the rest of the world. >It's been hard falling asleep by yourself ever since Luna's banishment, since she used to be your usual snuggle partner. >You... MIGHT have lied to Luna and told her that all sisters sleep in the same bed. >You MAY have told a little fib that it's totally fine and not weird at all if hooves sometimes wander when their owners are asleep. >It wouldn't be outside the realm of fantasy to say that you misrepresented the truth when you told Luna that no-no touching was how sisters bonded. >You- >CREEAAAAAK >BUCK >The door glides open just a crack, and you instinctively pretend to be asleep. >You are Luna >It seems as though your nephew has outsmarted you by taking refuge in your beloved sister's embrace. >....No matter. >You'll get him eventually. >The shadows betray your nephew... "...because they belong to ME." >You slip out and close the door without anypony being any the wiser. >Except for those guards stationed outside your sister's door. >Except for the night guards you passed on your way through the only hallway that leads to your sister's bedroom. >Except for the maids cleaning up the ever-present cake stains on the carpet directly outside the door. >Except for the royal night guards who follow you everywhere. >Nopony suspects a thing; it's the perfect crime. >You are Celestia >WHAT belongs to Luna? >And, "they"? >Plural? >Does she mean your teats? >Because she used to be really fond of your teats. >Almost as much as Anon likes them. ======================================================================================================================================= >"*sigh*..Ok, Twilight, tell me how this 'friendship committee' worked at your old school, and why, for whatever reason, it needs to involve my son." >"Keep in mind, you may only ask me this one favor, on this, the day of the winter solstice." ======================================================================================================================================= >>"You can ride on Mommy's back and say hi to all your friends." The only thing more embarrassing than being driven to school by your mom; being carried to school by your mom. >she kisses you on the cheek, sometimes several times, EVERY SINGLE TIME she drops you off or picks you up >she makes your lunch every morning, which is always in a silk bag that has her cutie mark emblazoned on the front, impossible to hide >she writes a note that says "I love you sweetheart, have a wonderful day" and puts it in your bag every day, it smells like her >sometimes the fruit inside is cut into stupid little heart shapes >you get shit on by your classmates every single day for years because of this, but you're not mad >you've never thrown away a single one of her notes, they're all in a drawer next to your bed at the castle, hundreds of them >Celestia, for some reason, somehow fits her giant self into Anon's room >Sees a note sticking out of a drawer >Curious, opens it >Sees hundreds and hundreds of her own "I love you" notes >Realizes he kept each one >Anon gets extra snuggles when he gets home and Celestia makes him sleep in her bed that night ======================================================================================================================================= >"Hello Doctor, I came by to check on Celestia. Is this a good time?" >"I'm afraid not Miss Sparkle, there has been a new development in her psychosis and we're hesitant to allow visitors at the moment." >"A new development?" >"Yes. It would appear now that we've worked through her issues of existence boredom, she is experiencing a powerful need to fill a maternal role due to her inability to naturally produce children for such a long time." >The two peek into the room and see Celestia sitting in her normal corner, cooing loving words to an imaginary child. >"Who's my favorite little man? You are Anon~. Yes you are!" >"She has now created in her mind an entire second life where she had found and adopted an alien child she has named "Anonymous" or "Anon" for short. For whatever reason she has crafted this child into the image of a human rather than a foal." >"We're hoping to rid her of these delusions just as swiftly as we did her previous ones." ======================================================================================================================================= > so tell me again why you agreed to this date, princess of the futa kingdom? Your mother wanted to unite our kingdom so she can get access to our bad dragon factories. >but you have a cock. Is that going to be a problem prince Anon? > not if you're the bottom .....we agree to these terms. >Anon have been out all day with the futa princess Cadence, I don't think I like it Well you were the one to arrange the date were you not Celestia? >Well yes but *sigh* I don't know Anon is so sensitive and she's so dominant, I don't want her to take advantage of him. Well let me see if I can track them, maybe things aren't so bad Cadence's horn slits with stunning brilliance. With her mastery of love she easily tracks them don't to the royal prince's carriage Celestia I've found them! Theyre in his carriage, but with is it parked in an alley...oh....oh my >what's wrong Cadence? Why are you blushing? What's happening to my son? Well let's just say you have nothing to worry about. Anon can be quite...dominant when he wants to be. Unbeknownst to Celestia, Cadence can hear everything happening in the carriage. Every grunt Anon makes as he drives himself into the princess, every muffled cry of pleasure from the princess, every thump as the carriage bangs against the alley wall. And eventually the loud roaring of rushing fluids entering a damp wet cavern Oh, Anon is quite virile ~ >what do you mean Candence?! Nothung~ ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-thish eggnog thing is a wonderful creation of humanity, sweetheart." >'Easy there, mom.' >"Uh oh, Anon-, Anenom-..Amonymous, m-mommy's a little dry, how bouh you top me offsh?" >'Mom your cup is still fu-' >*dainty mom shlurp* >"Nuh uh n-not anymore it'sh not." ======================================================================================================================================= >"I'll have to ask that you come back later, Twilight." >'P-princess! That map as an integral part of our mission!' >"I understand that but in the time you've left it here, my sunshine has become quite attached to it." >"He says it's perfect for his transformers vs aliens fights and playing with his hotwheels." ======================================================================================================================================= Latina momlestia and luna teaching anon how to dance salsa and merengue in this holidays. >Come on sweetie why the long face are you bored? do you want to dance with me or maybe your aunt. >Come on mijo its Christmas why don’t you drink this roncito (shot of rum) and dance with your aunt. >She has been eyeing you since the song started. >She has always wanted to dance with you but you've always refused. >And after you dance with your aunt you are going to dance with me like it or not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuPOU1ZqYUE ======================================================================================================================================= Is there any lewd no hooves momlestia Christmas greens? Or have sexy times with Vice-Principal Aunt Lulu while Mom is giving you instructions. >"She is very sensitive there sweetie." "Wait, how do you know that?" >"I had experience." >Fucking Aunt Luna then mom during camp I need this. >Mom will never give you a stealth handy while on the bus. ======================================================================================================================================= >"T-thank you, my sunshine. I don't know how it keeps happening." >'Curious about that myself, not that it's a bad thing, mom.' >"I swear, one moment I was reaching for the nesquik and before I knew it, I was gagging myself with your boxers and tying kinbaku knots." ======================================================================================================================================= >You will never fuck mom's butt while she looks uninterested. >But she would do anything for her little sunshine. >disinterest >implying >"Anonymous, sweetheart, mommy's facing an especially taxing deadline. Could you offer your old lady some relief." >'Anything, mom.' >And so you went, like a good son, to ease your mothers pain however she saw fit >Her magic held her quill steadfast despite being hilted at a rhythmic pace and with enthusiasm >"Haa~ OH-, oh gommmph..s-sunshine, h-how is your knowllledge of minotaur property l-lawss~~ unf.." >'L-let's come back to that one later, mom.' ======================================================================================================================================= Although the Christmas part is a bit outdated now, I might be able to write something. Maybe Anon gets an internship as the front-desk worker at CHS which Mom had nothing at all to do with as far as he knows, and during lunch breaks Mom and Lulu use his dick for "relief" and relaxation. Play-fighting ensues for who gets the dick, but they both get it. Eventually they need it at home, and things progress. A romantic subplot where Anon has to weigh his desire to love Mom against incest being "wrong" could be added, and whether or not this polygamous relationship is OK. Maybe they even get pregnant and have to take maternity leave, and Cadance volunteers to help with CHS while they're gone. She finds out the routine while looking at the video cameras. She and Shining haven't been able to make a kid in EQGland, so she blackmails Anon into making another kid. ======================================================================================================================================= Would mommy allow you to fuck her butt to relieve stress? >"Don't worry Sweetheart momma is going to make her little Sunshine feel better." >You will never lift up her night dress and start rubbing your dick between her cheeks first then penetrate her tight hole. >"You naughty boy that's not where it's supposed to go. It's fine sweetie, but give mommy some warning next time." >"But please do hurry we have to get your auntie up so we can get to the school on time. And I bet she would want some stimulation too so she can be fully awake." ======================================================================================================================================= /mother/ when >"..Oh, for the love of sh-..time to dial up my little 'angel' and tell him they don't have Super Saiyan Berry Crunch.." >"Hello? Hi, sunshine, it's mommy-..I am here right now, yes. Ahh, thing is honey, they don't HAVE your favori-..Anonymous, there's no need to raise your voice.." >"YES I looked, and I asked, do you really think I wouldn-..NO. NO, Anonymous, I am not getting t- IT'S NOT LIKE HONEY NUT BUNCHES OF OATS, THOUGH, SWEETHEART, THOSE ARE ALMONDS, YOU WONT LIKE THEM-.." >Mother gains her composure, wary she may be creating a scene >Heaven forbid she come off as one of those mothers who'd do anything to keep their son happy >Who'd be at his beckon call whenever he so pleases >She returns to her phone conversation >"..Ofcourse, Anonymous. Cinnamon Life, it is. Mommy loves you, too. Mhmm. Bye bye, baby." >She makes room for the cereal in her cart, next to the pantyhose and strawberries ======================================================================================================================================= /r/ing green of celestia abusing anon Sexual abuse. >Celestia goes to Anon's room each night >Her precious baby boy smells so good >Can't hold back her urges any more >Pulls back the covers >Magicks down his silk pyjama bottoms >Magics his underwear down to around his ankles (she feels herself involuntarily wink at the sight of her cutie mark right on his crotch) >Before she even realizes it, she has her snout buried in between Anon's cock and balls, breathing heavily >Her wings extend rapidly, nearly knocking over Anon's lamp >She extends her tongue; Anon tastes even better than he smells >Salty and musky >Each time she licks, she promises that it will be the last; that she'll stop doing such an inappropriate thing to her adoptive son, go back to bed, and forget it ever happened (maybe splurge on his next birthday to make it up to him, even though he'll never know what she did) >After every lick, she reasons "just one more time" and silences her guilt >Anon moans in his sleep as his cock hardens under Celestia's barely-controlled slobbering tongue >Celestia shifts her weight from hoof to hoof and freezes when the floor creaks >"What am I doing?" >She gives Anon one last parting lick and pulls his clothes back on >Unable to resist, she walks over to the head of her son's bed and kisses Anon on the forehead >She doesn't know for how long she can hold herself back >It's only a matter of time before she gives in to her carnal urges and impales her dripping, winking cunt onto her son's forbidden length >She dreads (and eagerly awaits) the day when she can no longer call herself a good mother ======================================================================================================================================= >Mom fucks up some spell that mentally age regresses her to fillyhood >"Wow, you mean I'm a princess?" >'That's right, mom. Herald of the sun, Radiant bringer of the-' >"OOH NEAT, A BUTTERFLY!" She says as she takes off after it >You look back at Auntie quizically >'Believe us, Nephew, our parents oft wondered as well if perhaps our sister was ehh..'on the spectrum'.' ======================================================================================================================================= I want to squeeze mom's tiddies. And lick her sensitive nipples. >"A-Anon!" >Celestia's rear hooves jerk in your hands as you bring your tongue down to her engorged, swollen teats. >The sweet tang of milk spreads across your tongue as you begin your sucking and licking. >"Anonymous, sunshine, that's - ah!" >She shudders, nearly kicking you by accident. >"That's for the foal!" ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia sleeps in the nude >Luna sleeps in Victorian-era sleep gear, featuring puffy shoulders and knee-length pant legs >They have a sleep-over with Anon and (sexy) shenanigans ensue >"C'mon, sis, live a little!" >Luna shies away from Celestia's advances, batting her hands with sharp slaps >"Nay! Thou fallen virtues shall not infect Us!" >She turns to you, blushing desperately and pleading with you with her eyes >"Nephew! Please, thou must assist Us! Hide us from our whore of a sister!" >Celestia's hands massage Luna's padded shoulders, making the younger sister shiver involuntarily. >"Now, now, Luna," your mother purrs, "That's not how one addresses their sister~" >Help your mother by holding Luna down while she strips her of her excessive clothing >After stripping your aunt to her bra and panties, you turn the tables on your mother by helping your aunt force an old-style nightgown on her ======================================================================================================================================= >That pic >Celestia has ruled Equestria over 1000 years >It is only now, when the universe somehow gave her a little boy to raise as her own, that she seriously starts to question herself >How long must she keep on ruling? >Will she ever retire so she can focus on her family and what she wants? >Even if she wanted to step down, would some pony even be able to take her place without screwing everything up? >Right now her Kingdom comes first, and her son comes second >The crown she always wear felt a little heavier that day ======================================================================================================================================= >Celestia finds her son playing dangerously near the edge to oblivion >What does she do? >"S-sister, art thou entirely sure it was wise to let Anonymous play in the oblivion at the end of the world?" >'Trust me, Luna, were I to forbid him it would only tempt him more. A few hours out there with the wraiths and demons, he'll tucker himself out and get tired of it.' >Luna looks over to see Anon with a wraith 2x his size in a choker hold while it's friends try desperately to get him off. >Anon just wears the smile of a child that wants to watch the world burn. >With a stare leading off for miles even as five demons pull on him trying their best to get him off. >Soon enough a demon bigger than the rest approaches. >You were just about to rush to his rescue until his eyes darted to the demon causing it to stumble back and fall. >He released the wraith whom falls to the ground, it's friends instantly rushing to it's aid making sure it's all right. >None of them notice Anon slowly making his way to the big demon. >The big demon begins to stumble on the ground desperate to get away. >But it's too late. >Anon is on him and- OH TIA! >FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD NO! >2 hours later. >You watch as Anon puts a leash on the now bartered and brused demon. >"Hey mommy! Look what i found! Can i keep him?" >Tia just glances at the demon before replying. >"Anon I've told you once and I'll tell you a thousand more times. No, you may not keep a underlord as a pet." >"Well what if i-" >"You may also not keep the devil himself. " She says not missing a beat. >Anon just looks deflated and removes the leash from the demon and allows it to run. >That night you visited every demon and wraith that witnessed the true horrors of Anon... >How is that colt only 5!? ======================================================================================================================================= Remember gamer Luna? >"Nephew!" >You pause the game and put down your mouse as your aunt Luna storms into your bedroom. >She looks furious. >Did she find the pairs of her underwear that you've been masturbating into? >"What is THIS?!" >She points at your computer screen accusingly. "....Skyrim?" >Never before has your aunt looked more disgusted. >"I don't remember raising a SCRUB, Anonymous." >She reaches behind her back and pulls out an old copy of Morrowind, which she tosses onto your lap. >"When you're done play pleb-tier BULLSHIT, Anon, load this thing up. I don't care if you have to run it with DOS-box to make it work; I expect you to have beaten the game in under a week." >She crosses her arms, propping up her breasts and making them look plump. >It's only just now that you noticed how her nipples are poking through the cloth, and it occurs to you that she isn't wearing a bra. >It might be because you've been stealing her bras as well as her underwear. >You can't help it if your aunt is hot! >"We'll talk later, nephew. I'll bring up my old computer and show you how to play Daggerfall after this." ======================================================================================================================================= >"-thus putting to rest another exaggeration illustrated on the show 'Breaking Bad'." Mr. Doodle droned >this isn't what you envisioned when you signed up for chemistry >there was no BOO YAH's or MUH TERRITORY's at all! >*bzzzzt* >quickly, old chum, it's the batphone >you look down at your phone and notice it's a text from mom >most likely reading 'A certain handsome someone left his homework and snackpack at home on the counter, will bring it to you at lunch~' >mmmm chocolate >*bzzzzt* >right, better see what's up >"..C..u..n..?" >gosh, mom, no need for profanity >it has an attached file so you decide to accept the message and open it >"C u n detenti-.." >your phone begins blaring the 'attached file' >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoLI9FHmV90 >you drop it in your haste to clear the screen and turn the volume down >"Wise man once said don't accept the charges if you're not sure who it's from, son." >'Ehh, g-good one, Mr. Doodle.' >G-go wey, boner... ======================================================================================================================================= >Mother/Principal Celestia sometimes has a little too much to drink and ends up doing weird things to send you to her office >Like speaking in the microphone and forgetting to turn it off after she's done sending her message out across the school >Or kicking open the door to your classroom and demanding that you follow her to her office for doing something you didn't even do >All so she can spend some time to cuddle with you and hug you >"I s-swear to GOD, Anon!" >Your mom (or as she insists you call her while in school, "Principal Celestia") is dragging you down the halls. >Her grip around your wrist is a bit too tight, and her quick gait down the hallway is sloppy. >"You really did'dit THISss time!" >Oh god, she's slurring her words. She's been in the sauce again. >Is it Monday afternoon already? >Students poke their heads out from their little cliques and from around corners, curious about what could have gotten their principal so pissed off at her own son. >After a long and uncomfortable walk to the office, your mom throws open the door and shoves you in, walking in and closing the door behind her. >"Now..." >The next thing you know, you're on your back on her nice leather couch. >Before you can even get a whyboner, you take note of the situation >Your mom is cuddling you aggressively, rubbing her face against your cheeks like a horse. >"Ohh.... Mommy missed you so much, sunshine~" >You sigh and wrap your arms around her, earning you a squeal of delight that you would have expected to hear from someone half her age. >"Oh, precious!" >Mom always DID get clingy when she drank. >Frankly, you're just happy this happened in school when she'd have the head not to strip naked before she started to drink. >"It's hugs time!" >You are Twilight, and you're here to see if Celestia got that thing you sent her. >You reach out for the door knob and twi- >"Mmm.... You're so warm..." >....Principal Celestia? >"Don't squeeze me so tight, Anon!!" >What. >"Baby, rub right there.... Ohhh.... Oh, that's so good. That's so damn good." >WHAT. >"Come back here, sunshine. Mommy's not done with you yet~" >You have the WEIRDEST lady-boner right now. >You are Anon, and you are apparently half-way decent at giving a shoulder massage. >Who fucking knew. ======================================================================================================================================= /r/ing green of sunhorse forcing Anon to be her son "Celestia, please. I'm an adult." >Celestia gently boops you on the nose and smiles that sweet smile of her's. >"I'm thousands of years old, sweetheart. Compared to me, everypony is as old as a foal." >You take a step backwards; Celestia matches it with a forward step of her own. >You take another step backwards; Celestia giggles and gets this playful look on her face before stepping forward once more. >"Does mommy's special colt want to play?" >Christ, how horrifying. >"Anon?" >Celestia's head pokes in through your bedroom door. >The room itself is bigger than your house was, and easily ten times as expensive. >"Honey, can I come in?" >You weren't sleeping, so sure. "It's your castle." >This forced adoption thing is bullshit. >Celestia (aka "mom") nudges the door open with her muzzle and walks in, pillow and blanket in her magical grip. >"Mommy couldn't sleep. Can I sleep here with you?" >You were fucking KIDNAPPED off the street. >This crazy horse wants to sle-you know what? >Fine. >Whatever. "Go right ahead." >Celestia wastes no time, diving nose-first under the covers and swims up to the surface, where her nose barely avoids booping your own. >Her pillow plops down next to your own, and her blanket covers you both. >She wraps her hooves around your shoulders and pulls herself close. >"Goodnight, Anonymous," she coos, nuzzling your neck, "I love you." Realistically, someone kidnapping you and making you call them your mother is pretty terrifying. Unrelated note: Need more stories where Celestia adopts adult Anon simply because she has an incest fetish. God knows half the stories here already have AT LEAST an incestuous subtext. =======================================================================================================================================