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MetalHooves
#259636
1 year ago
Okay. Second lesson. Spacing. Always separate different speakers with different paragraphs. Your story was interesting enough, but sifting through the text walls to figure out what was happening became downright annoying by the second part. It really detracted from a great and well- thought out story, grasshopper.
theplatinumcolt
#259699
1 year ago
Thanks Sensei. And I'll keep this in mind an it'll work well in the next one cause I tried to keep this in a relative verbatim to the events that had happened, so the next one I can make a few amends to.
theplatinumcolt
#259717
1 year ago
Plus after this little trial run, I'll start making actual sorta works. This was just my little test. But not many people really liked it, so maybe I need more practice?
Isshiki_Kotonashi
#260785
1 year ago
Also don't abuse punctuation like you did with
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

THREE IS THE LIMIT
Silver
#260968
1 year ago
That grandpa's stories are so absurdly self-serving
theplatinumcolt
#261215
1 year ago
Thanks isshiki, I'll remember that next time
And what do you mean silver?
Typogryph
#284694
1 year ago
Well, he's the shining hero of his own story...