
| Anonymous #87466 1 year ago |
>edited it for spike third person
eww |
| Anonymous #87472 1 year ago |
Lololo- *sent to pony hell* |
| MichaelXX2 #87475 1 year ago |
SHIT WHY THE FUCK IS RAINBOW DASH INSECURE |
| Anonymous #87478 1 year ago |
foal-fiddler = pedophile? |
| Anonymous #87479 1 year ago |
I don't know man! I only edited it! |
| Anonymous #87485 1 year ago |
I wonder if I could rewrite this with Spike => Scootaloo. |
| Anonymous #87494 1 year ago |
http://pastebin.com/7SxFJ0u0
There's the rewrite in text v: |
| Anonymous #87505 1 year ago |
Wait, did I sleep through the day when plagiarism became cool again?
Oh, right. So long as you declare you stole it, it's cool. Hey, anypony got a megaphone I can borrow? There's a jewelry store down the street that closes in an hour. |
| Anonymous #87533 1 year ago |
Alright, reading this expecting to dislike it. (I'm a filly-fooler.) Making notes here.
First paragraph ends in "everyone", not "everypony". Spike's place is not "his place", it's Twilight's place. Elaboration on how a baby dragon could be of any use to Dash in helping her perfect the "Filly Flash" would be appreciated. I like how SUBTLE is in all caps. Very SUBTLE. Dash is acting oddly moody. Twilight is not his room-mate, he is Twilight's pet. Lol, plot. Uhh... Dash getting jealous of Rarity's looks...? Rarity might get jealous over somepony's looks... because she's Rarity. There are different ponies, with different personalities. If you're going to make Dash a jealous-type, ease her into it, don't just say she's jealous when her character has absolutely no record of acting that way. Compliment-denying, however, I find very Dash, so good work on that. "Spike was on a roll!" Lol how. "... when I'm around... you..." geh. Which three emotions flashed? And why in the world would Spike call her a cry-baby after he was just trying to build her confidence? And then a third of the mane six... burst into the bathroom? Why? And so Spike is spirited away to be Dashed, Rarity has always suspected Dash of being a foal-fiddler, and... Scoots was spying on Dash in the shower, as expected. ... and wants to work her way into a threesome? So all above complaints aside, objectively it was alright. |
| Braeburn #87547 1 year ago |
^^^ Are you my English teacher? |
| Anonymous #87552 1 year ago |
^
Fix it and pass it on. Original author might not find this post, here's to him not getting mad about the edits :3 |
| Anonymous #87637 1 year ago |
English teacher here. Why was this marked explicit?
Also I ain't fixing it, I don't even like it. I said -objectively- it was okay. |
| Anonymous #87820 1 year ago |
@Anonymous #7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMtTHFEXLvU |
| Anonymous #87838 1 year ago |
Oh, Jeez, this is not good news for me.
I'm Armada, we're running a sensual fiction general thread over at ponychan and I was just reposing a story by SonicPony45. This story was what we decided should be called "Steel Heart" and it was written by SonicPony45. Let me say this straight out: I DID NOT WRITE THE ORIGINAL. SONICPONY45 WROTE THE ORIGINAL. |
| Anonymous #87843 1 year ago |
http://www.ponychan.net/chan/fic/res/11099.html
It should be noted that some random Anon from SFG claims to have created this; it's nothing to do with Armada. |
| Anonymous #87854 1 year ago |
So we've actually come to using the word "plot" to mean ass in fanfic writing now?
lol. |
| Anonymous #88330 1 year ago |
Just when you think the clop part begins, it's over, not amused :/. |
| Anonymous #88471 1 year ago |
teeth ass? |
| Anonymous #88588 1 year ago |
I think the word you were looking for was raucous, not raunchy. |
| Anonymous #90400 1 year ago |
Oh jesus. This is awful. And I didn't even get to the cloppy part.
Misuse of words, misspelling of words, a BAD case of avoiding the word "said" (There is NO excuse for "scoffed" when she's not actually scoffing..), use of abbreviations ("RBD"?)... I had to laugh at the loudest "subtle" I've ever seen. And "shut up" is two words. |
| Anonymous #92364 1 year ago |
part 2 plz |