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Anonymous
#175623
1 year ago
Internet personalities: They think they're famous ... but they aren't
Anonymous
#175629
1 year ago
Oh...hello everypony didnt hear you come in
Skipta
#175660
1 year ago
^^ Do you know what that word means? They are.
JustTheBast
#175662
1 year ago
Heh, look at the Derpy-bubbles!
Anonymous
#175716
1 year ago
With onions.
Anonymous
#175766
1 year ago
You may like them, or hate them, but the fact is they're famous. That said, pony version of them DO NOT interest me in the least.
Anonymous
#175788
1 year ago
I wonder if his pony version is unfunny too
Drpepperfan
#175853
1 year ago
So much for Friendship and Magic and all that.
Anonymous
#175931
1 year ago
@Drepperfan
Friendhsip and magic doesn't exclude externalize your opinion about poor quality products, and the TGWTG site is a good example of poor quality executed by duchebags
Drpepperfan
#175962
1 year ago
Uh huh.
Ozymandias
#176045
1 year ago
Shore is That Anti-TGWTG Whiner in here. Can't say I'm surprised since he shows up every single time.
AdrianBrony
#176301
1 year ago
is he hated universally or something? I mean I always liked him and he seemed nice enough. never recall him doing anything particularly douchey and banning people for selfish reasons and whatnot.
Anonymous
#178242
1 year ago
Sorry, but not everybody likes TGWTG. It's called having an opinion.
Yarrik
#490454
10 months ago
Hamster Jelly.
Takashi_0
#632952
8 months ago
^^We know that. What we don't like is the fact that you keep flaunting YOUR opinion as a fact, making you look a complete douchenozzle in the process.

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If more people, especially those like you, followed that rule the world be a much happier place.
Anonymous
#1017297
5 months ago
Wingapo. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Colt with the Glasses.

Question 1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

That's a very good question. And the answer is: because it was Pinkie Pie. That's right. Pinkie Pie is a chicken. And a devil worshipper. With onions. Yes.

Question 2: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

The Windigo King. His name is George. George is a giant Windigo who eats other Windigoes just for fun. Just like me. That's right. I eat Windigoes. Now I know what you're thinking. How can a Windigo live underwater? Well, that's because Windigoes are unholy products of the devil. Just like Twilight. The book, not the unicorn. Hamster jelly.

Question 3: What does your cutie mark represent?

You see, it represents my bloodlust. That glass is filled with blood. I love to kill innocent ponies with my bare hooves. Just yesterday I threatened to kill Cheerilee unless she had filthy unprotected sex with me. So she did. And it was delicious. But I killed her anyway.

Question 4: What is so hot it's cool, but is so cool it's hot?

Um....the Hummel figurine!

MY BOBOOSHKA HAS CONTROL OF ALL THE SOULS IN EQUESTRIA! NO FILLY OR COLT IS SAFE FROM MY DARK MAGIC!

She's so adorable. Just like Cheerilee's corpse. I'm planning to eat her.

Question 5: How can I make my life 20% cooler?

Have sex with me. I guarantee the pain will be ungodly.

Question 6: Who framed Roger Rabbit?

Dick Cheney. Yes.

Question 7: Why are you satirizing such an amazing cartoon?

Because I'm bored.

This is Ask That Colt with the Glasses saying: there's no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it.

By the way, I lied. It wasn't Dick Cheney. It was Miley Cyrus.

Yes.
Takashi_0
#1017377
5 months ago
@297:

Anonymous
#1046118
4 months ago
Hi, Billy Mays here. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Colt with the Glasses.

Question 1: In the last episode, you said Pinkie Pie was a chicken. Isn't Scootaloo a chicken too?

That's a very good question. Yes, Scootaloo is a chicken. By which I mean she tastes like chicken. That's right. I ate Scootaloo. But not before raping her corpse. I'm evil. Yes.

Question 2: If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

Neither. It's dead. Speaking of turtles, Rainbow Dash's tortoise Tank was delicious. Especially when mixed with the blood of an Ursa Minor and served with a side of Scootaloo.

Question 3: If Rainbow Dash is a superhero and Spike is a ghost, and Spike is the new Rainbow Dash, does that mean Rainbow Dash and Spike are Danny Phantom?

*head explodes*

Question 4: If you throw a cat out of a car window, does it become kitty litter?

Well, I killed Opalescence and threw her body into the street. If anyone asks, I was just making a sacrifice to my God: Lord Smooze.

Question 5: If it's called tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Oh, but we can. WE CAN.

Question 6: Whi is the Bible the most shoplifted book in the world if one of the Ten Commandments is "Thou shalt not steal?"

Because the Hummel Figurine demands it!
Oh, never mind. She's on vacation.

Question 7: If there was a lightning rod on top of a church, would it be considered a lack of faith?

No. Because God kills whoever He wants. Because when you die, you become closer to God. Because you no longer exist.

Question 8: What does the scouter say about his power level?

Cunnalingis with a chicken. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean cunnalingis with a Scootaloo. In fact, that's how I raped her before I ate her.

Question 9: Are you the same guy who made the first Ask That Colt with the Glasses?

Yes. And I plan to do more. I also plan to do your mom. Go ahead, send me your questions to this page.

This is Ask That Colt with the Glasses saying: a man doesn't know true happiness until he's married. And by then, it's too late.

With onions.
Anonymous
#1053331
4 months ago
Okay, here's my questions.

If Jesus was the King of the Jews, why is he a Christian image?

Why do mushrooms make Mario bigger?

How can I get Lady Gaga to do me?

Who would win in a fight between Indiana Jones and Daring Do?

Why does the computer keyboard not go in alphabetical order?

What is 2 + 2?

Can you explode twice?
Anonymous
#1068987
4 months ago
Haldo. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask That Colt with the Glasses.

Question 1: If Jesus was the King of the Jews, why is he a Christian image?

That's a very good question. It's because RELIGION IS A SCAM! IF YOU SEE A CHURCH, MOSQUE, OR SYNAGOGUE, BURN IT TO THE GROUND! AND IF ANYONE ASKS WHY YOU DID THAT, SAY IT WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD! THERE IS NO GOD! THERE IS NO HEAVEN! AND THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS LEPRECHAUNS!
Yes.

Question 2: Why do mushrooms make Mario bigger?

Because they are the penises of Goombas. That's right. Bowser kills all male Goombas and eats their penises. But he likes to hide them in boxes much like a squirrel hides acorns. Of course, Mario comes along and steals the penises, which makes Bowser angry. So he sends his army of female Goombas to kill Mario. That's why the Goombas that Mario fights are so weak. Because they're women. And women are not meant to fight. All they should do is stay in the kitchen or the bedroom and be slaves to men. Even though there are no male Goombas because Bowser kills them. Women are still objects and deserve to be controlled by men. But to answer your question: Goomba penises are full of steroids. That's what makes Mario so big when he eats them.

Question 3: How can I get Lady Gaga to do me?

Well, I've fucked several hermaphrodites in my lifetime, and I can honestly say that the best way to attract one such as Lady Gaga...is to dress up like me. Take robe, scarf, glasses, and pipe, and put them on your body. Then castrate yourself, because Lady Gaga is more man than woman, so he will want to have the dick. Finally, go to Hell for asking such a stupid question. With onions. And fetuses.

Question 4: Who would win in a fight between Indiana Jones and Daring Do?

Werewolf Queen! It's always Werewolf Queen!

Question 5: Why does the computer keyboard not go in alphabetical order?

Because the computer alphabet is in a different order than the English alphabet. Q is first, and M is last. Now I know what you're thinking. How come when you alphabetize something on the computer, it comes out normally? That's just part of the computer's plan to let your guard down so it can send communists to your house. Yes, communists.

Question 6: What is 2 + 2?

What am I, a calculator?

Question 7: Can you explode twice?

Only if you are an Electrode.

This is That Colt with the Glasses saying: Greedo shot first.
Anonymous
#1110187
4 months ago
Oel ngati kame. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to Ask that Colt with the Glasses.

Question 1: Can you feel the love tonight?

That's a very good question. No, I cannot feel the love tonight. But I can feel the lust tonight. Lust for Princess Luna. God, I'd love to have her flank! By which I mean, I would like to cut off her ass and replace my own ass with hers. No, actually, I'd just put her ass over my own so I'd have to butts. Then you would call me That Colt with the Asses. With herpes. Yes.

Question 2: In the second episode of Friendship is Witchcraft, Rarity says she wants to correct one of God's mistakes. However, later in the episode, it is revealed that Rarity does not worship God; she worships Smooze. Care to explain?

Sure, I'll explain. But only if you explain how the episode of SpongeBob entitled "Rock Bottom" didn't make any sense. I mean, in the beginning of the episode, SpongeBob says he DOESN'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO RIDE THE BUS! But later, he puts TWO QUARTERS in a vending machine! You answer how that is possible, and I will answer your query on Rarity. Because I have no idea how SpongeBob got that money out of nowhere!

Question 3: Where did SpongeBob get those quarters in the Rock Bottom episode? Earlier in the episode, he said he didn't have any money. Was SpongeBob lying to that bus driver?

Oh, yes, definitely.

Question 4: U jelly?

Yes, I am jelly. I am hamster jelly. Bet you saw that joke coming a mile away.

Question 5: Why does iTunes hate Derpy so damn much?

Oh, they don't. It was part of Al Qaeda's plan. To get revenge on us for killing Osama bin Laden, they decided to try and ruin everyone's favorite background character. So some Al Qaeda operatives got jobs at iTunes and edited that scene in The Last Roundup. Now I know what you're thinking. Why don't they just use nuclear missiles to get they're revenge? Well, Muslims are crazy! They don't even eat pork! The most delicious meat! I mean, come on, if they truly hated us, they would shoot a missile at me right no-*BOOM*
( walks back in) I'm back. I just have to promote The Chronicles of Narnia. Wow, this has been a weird week.

Question 6: Can I clop to you?

Only if you are a mare. But if you're a stallion, I won't really care. I'm one of those ponies who everypony wants a piece of. Except Luna. But one day she will be mine. Hey, how do ponies masturbate if we don't have fingers anyway?

Question 7: Who wants to be a millionaire?

Pretty much everypony. Except Bill Gates. Because that just means he'll be poorer.

Question 8: Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh, Luigi?

Princess Celestia has never invited me to a picnic. Maybe it's because I pull the tags off mattresses.

This is That Colt with the Asses saying: stupid Flanders.
Anonymous
#1164892
3 months ago
Okay, I have a feeling that you don't respect me. So this shall be my last ATCWTG. After this comment, I am moving to Manehattan and getting a job at the glue factory! Wait...

Anyway, on with the comment.

Tonda gossa. Didn't hear you come in. Greetings and welcome to the very last episode of Ask That Colt with the Glasses.

Question 1: Why did Granny Smith's parents name a newborn filly Granny?

That's not a very good question, but I'll answer it anyway. It's because Granny Smith has Benjamin Button Syndrome. That's right. She was born an old lady. In the show, she's only a few months old. Now I know what you're thinking. What about that flashback in the zap apple episode? Isn't she a young filly then? No, that's her twin sister, Granny Jones. But she is named Granny for a different reason: because the parents were retarded. Yes.

Question 2: Isn't Crackle just a hybrid of Derpy, Discord, and Gummy?

Well, I would say yes, but that would mean he is going to Hell. And I don't want him to go to Hell. All hybrid animals go to Hell, because they don't have souls.

Question 3: Hey, where's Perry?

He's in Hell for being an unholy hybrid of a duck and a beaver.

Question 4: Can Hyrule's destiny really depend on such a lazy boy?

Hey! Listen! Shut up!

Question 5: Who is the monster and who is the man, sing the bells of Notre Dame?

Now this is one of those questions that is supposed to teach you where true beauty comes from. And it obviously comes from the outside. Quasimodo is the monster, because he is ugly. And Frollo is the man because he looks like a normal human. True, they have personalities that are very different from their outside appearances, but who really cares about inner beauty? Losers. I'm a giraffe. (turns into a giraffe, then back into a pony)

Question 6: Make sense? What fun is there in making sense?

Oh, there's no fun in making sense. That's why I love hybrid animals. Especially draconequuses. But they are the only hybrid animals that are not doomed to an eternity in Hell. Because they're AWESOME! With nachos.

Question 7: What's eating Gilbert Grape?

Well, remember that scene where the girl is giving him a blowjob? And as such, she is literally eating Gilbert's grapes? It's not her. It's Big Time Rush. They're cannibals, as are all boy bands.

Question 8: How do you divide by zero?

Like this. (the universe collapses on itself, but then reforms because I say so)

Question 9: Save and return to dawn of the first day?

No thanks, I'm good. (the moon crashes on top of my head)

Question 10: Why can't I hold all these limes?

Maybe it's because your hands are too small. And you know that they say about people with small hands. Or is it small feet? Well, ponies have four feet, so I guess it the same thing.

Question 11: Should I listen to Robbie on Victorious and not make a sand-a-wich out of broken glass?

Dude, that's a ficional chacter. If a fictional character tells you not to do something, then do it anyway. I, on the other hoof, am 100% real. And I order you to eat broken glass.

Question 12: Who is best pony?

Me. No, I'm just kidding. It's Chuggaaconroy.

This is That Colt with the Glasses saying: I was just kidding about not making more of these.

Maybe.