Last Friday the time had come
The 45th president of the United States was inaugurated in Washington, D. C.
Donald J. Trump
He had a clear message to the rest of the world:
"I will screw you over big time."
Well okay, he used slightly different words.
And because we realize it's better for us to get along
we decided to introduce our tiny country to him.
In a way that will probably appeal to him the most.
This is a message from the government of The Netherlands.
Dear Mr. President,
Welcome to this introduction video
about The Netherlands.
It's gonna be a great video
It's gonna be absolutely fantastic.
Our Founding Father was William of Orange,
who fought against the Spanish.
The Spanish, total scumbags.
They fought against us for 80 years
but they couldn't beat us.
Couldn't do it, total losers.
They are all dead now, by the way
We speak Dutch
It's the best language in Europe
We've got all the best words
all the other languages failed!
Danish, total disaster.
German is not even a real language.
It's fake! It's a fake language!
We've got pony park Slagharen
which has got to be the best pony park in the world.
It's true. They're the best ponies.
They are. You can ride them.
You can date them.
You can grab them by the pony.
It's fantastic.
This is the Afsluitdijk.
It's a great great wall,
that we built to protect us from all the water
from Mexico.
In fact, we built an entire ocean, ok?
An entire ocean between us and Mexico.
Nobody builds oceans better than we do.
This ocean, it is so big.
You can even see it from the moon.
And we made the Mexicans pay for it.
It's true.
You've got the Trump Towers.
We've got Lee Towers
He'll love to sing at your inauguration.
Amazing voice, gotta love it.
We've got Madurodam.
Which is the greatest miniture town in the world.
It's great. Well it's tiny, but it's great.
And the squares, they are so small,
you don't even need many people to fill them.
It's great.
This is Gerri Eickhof.
In December we've got this scandalist tradition
of Black Pete, it's the most offensive,
the most racist thing you've ever seen.
You'll love it, it's great
We also have a disabled politician for you to make fun of.
Her name is Jetta Klijnsma.
She's from the Ministry of Silly Walks.
You can do a great impersonation of her.
Can't wait to see it.
People tell us, very important people, they tell us
we've got the best tax evasion system God ever created.
It's just unbelieveable.
You should tell your sons to put all your, sorry, their businesses here.
You'll pay no taxes at all. Zero.
It's ridiculous.
And last but not least, we've got a great
great, great dependency on the United States.
It's huge.
If you screw NATO, you're gonna make our problems great again
They are gonna be yuge. They are gonna be enormous.
It's true. Please, don't.
We totally understand it's going to be America First.
But can we just say "The Netherlands Second"?
Is that ok?
Thank you for watching and best wishes.
We've got the best wishes in The Netherlands.
They're great. It's true.
Yes.
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Want to see more? Visit npo3.nl/zondagmetlubach