This file brought to you by - http://www.mrdouble.com From: Newsgroups: alt.sex.incest Subject: STORY: Preacher's Son (Mother/Son) Date: 24 May 1996 07:39:55 GMT Organization: CompuTech Message-ID: <4o3p4b$6mo@krel.iea.com> Preacher’s Son (preacher’s son is a porn star and when dad finds out shit hits the fan. Mother watches her son in a movie and becomes hot for his big cock and flies to California to "straighten him out".) My husband came home from his office enraged. "I found out what our son does for odd jobs!" He shouted as he threw a video cassette on the couch next to me. Right away I could tell that the video was a porno movie. The front cover had a large picture of a nude woman on her knees holding her breasts. It was titled "The Bride of Satan." "What’s this?" I asked. I was shocked that my husband had brought home this type of movie. You see, my husband is a preacher and has no time for the "evil" of sex. In fact, he never had time for any sex even though according to the Bible a man and wife are supposed to enjoy each other. No, not my husband. I got more pleasure out of my hand than I ever did out of him. "Go on," He said. Take a good look at the back cover. Tell me if you recognize anyone. I flipped the box over and saw a few clips from the movie of various sexual situations. I looked at the people in the pictures and to my shock and horror I did recognize someone - my son! "It’s James!" I said in shock. "I know it’s James," my husband said. "Our son is a porn actor!" "It can’t be," I said taking a closer look at the box. "Oh it is," he assured me. "I hope he burns in hell for this." "That’s our son you’re talking about!" I snapped back. "I may not approve of what he’s doing but that’s no reason to wish something like that on him!" "He’ll ruin me," my husband said at last. Finally the real issue was clear. My husband was more afraid of his precious reputation as "good shepherd" might be taken away. "I’m going to call him and tell him he’s no longer part of this family!" "You ARE NOT!" I screamed. "That’s your son!" "I can’t stand our son being a smut king," my husband said. "Let me talk to him," I tried to rationalize. "Maybe we can change him, make him choose a better life." "You better," he said. "If he doesn’t change I never want to see him again. So that was how it started. My son was porn actor and my husband had decided he no longer wanted anything to do with him. I however could not do that. I loved my son and even though I was disappointed in him, there was no way I was going to alienate him like he didn’t deserve to live. I decided to give myself a week to cool down before I called him. My son lived in California (where he obviously was making his movies) so I knew I wouldn’t hear from him until I was good and ready. My husband had left the video in his home office and I found it while cleaning up a bit around the house. Not really knowing why, I grabbed the video and decided to watch a few minutes of it. I guess I thought I would understand better if I had at least seen what it was he did for a living. I locked the door as to ensure my husband did not surprise me and catch me doing what I’m sure he would shoot me for. After I secured the house I put in the tape and sat down to see what it was my son did. The first part of the movie had other actors and actresses. I fast forwarded through the sex scenes pretending I didn’t notice that they were turning me on. It had been so long since I had had good sex. I tried to ignore the excitement I felt seeing couples screw each other in positions I only fantasized about. Suddenly I saw my son. In the scene a young girl was trying to seduce my son who played an upright business man who had a loving wife at home. In no time the young girl was on her knees begging my son to fuck her. My son stood there, not fighting much as she unzipped his pants preparing to give him a blow job. When the actress pulled out my son’s hard cock I was shocked. He was HUGE!!! His dick was probably three times bigger than his father’s and thick and meaty looking. The girl visably had trouble getting all of my son’s big cock in her mouth which made me shudder for some reason unknown to me at the time. The whole scene I watched the young girl suck my son as he stood there looking like he very much enjoyed it. "I have to have it inside me!" the woman finally gasped. I watched intently as my son undressed the woman with a very nice figure and proceeded to slide his big dick inside her. I watched for the next thirty minutes as my son pounded this young girl in three different positions making her orgasm twice. When the scene was over I stopped the tape. Without thinking I slid my hand down between my legs to feel my pussy and realized that I was sopping wet and had made a big wet stain in the front of my stretch pants. Uncontrollably I rubbed my wet pussy though my clothes and closed my eyes as I touched myself like I had done some many lonely evenings. I spread my knees wide and started rubbing my wet clit up and down over and over. What a lucky girl, I thought, to be able to make love to such a gorgeous stud like my son. I turned the tape back on and rewound it until I got to the part where the young girl unzipped my son’s pants again. I suddenly found myself sucking on my fingers as the girl took out my son’s hard cock and started sucking it. My mouth slid up and down my fingers at the same speed and motion as the girl on the video. "I have to have it inside me!" the girl said again. Frantically I raised my knees up to my massive tits and pulled my pants up over my ass, dragging my panties with them. My fingers found my wet pussy at the exact instant my son slid his cock into the young girl and I cried out in orgasm. I balled my fingers together to make a wider feel and fucked myself in tempo with my son’s thrusts. "I’m cumming," I moaned loudly as I fingered myself faster and faster. "I’m cumming James!" When my orgasm subsided I realized what I had just done. I had just fantasized about fucking my own son. Every thrust he made I imagined was inside me, every inch he gave her I imagined he gave me. I quickly picked up the phone and dialed my son’s number. I had to hear his voice. "Hello," he answered. "James!" I said. "It’s you’re mother." "MOM!" he shouted back as if he hadn’t spoken to me in years. "It’s so good to hear from you." "I was just calling to see how you were doing," I said as I sat in the chair with my pants still around my knees. "I’m fine," he said. "When are you coming to visit?" My hand slid between my legs at the thought of seeing my son again. "I don’t know," I half panted. "I’d love to visit but your father has to be in Hadyn lake until the end of the month." "Why don’t you come without him," James said. "That way you’ll have something to do while Dad’s gone." I nearly fainted at the thought of what we could do and my fingers dug deeply into my pussy as I tried to remain calm. "I uh," I panted. "I could but…" "No but’s about it mom," He said. "I’ll even pay for the flight." I was fingering myself deeply again as I thought about spending a month with my son. I would have so many chances to seduce him. Oh how I wanted to try! "I’ll think about it," I said breathily. "No," James insisted. "You’re coming." Not yet, I thought, but in about 10 seconds I will be. "Ok," I agreed. "I’ll CUM" I said that last part suggestively without even thinking what his reaction might be. "I’d like that," James said. "Like what?" "For you to cum," He said. I wasn’t sure if he meant it the way I did. "I look forward to seeing you mother." As soon as I got off the phone I yanked my pants down to my ankles, spread my knees as wide as they would go and fingered my pussy until I came three times. I told my husband that I was going down to California to straighten our son out. Niavely my husband was all for the idea and thought it might be good for our son if I confront him about it face to face. The next day I went shopping. I tingled all over from head to foot as I bought all kinds of sexy nylon stockings, lace panties, and other naughty undergarments. I hadn’t worn things like these in years and it excited me just trying them on. I even fingered my pussy till I came in the dressingroom trying on new clothes. Within days I was on a flight heading to see my son in sunny California. It wasn’t until I was actually on the flight that I began to wonder if I was being stupid. Why would my son want to sleep with me? I mean I’m his mother after all. He probably would get sick at even the thought of it. And all those girls. He’d probably been with hundreds, much younger and prettier than I. Why would he even think about me? I couldn’t compete with that. The only thing I had going for me was a humongous set of tits and fairly nice legs. But James had seen lots of nice legs and I’m sure he’d seen women with as big of breasts as mine. When I stepped off the plane James was waiting for me. Right away he threw his arms around me and gave me a big hug. My tits smashed against his muscular chest but I knew he didn’t even care about that. I was his mother, it was natural. The whole drive to his house I was wondering what things would be like. I didn’t know if he lived in an apartment or a house. I didn’t even know if he had a live in girlfriend or something. I was pleased to find that he had his own house and no live in girlfriend, though there were pictures all over a girl I’m sure he was dating. I picked up one of the pictures after setting down my luggage and looked it over. "She’s very pretty," I said. "Not nearly as pretty as you," James said. God how I wished he meant that. I knew it was just good son fluff to make his mother feel better. I put the picture down and retorted with a, "oh how sweet". I saw another picture of the two of them standing together. "She has a very nice figure," I commented. "Nothing compared to yours," James replied. "STOP!" I said. "You don’t mean that." "Yes I do," James insisted. "You’re much prettier than her and your figure is undeniably better." I quickly changed the subject before he could quilify that statement with something that would remind me I was his mother. That night James took me out to dinner and treated me like a queen. He insisted that money was no object and proved it by taking me to the fanciest of resteraunts and ordering the most expensive items on the menu. On the way home James stopped at a store and brought me out a dozen red roses. "These are for the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world," he said. My head was swimming from all the champagne and flowers and I quickly kissed him on the lips for a bit longer than I should have. James said nothing of it and took me home. James insisted that I sleep in his bed and he would sleep on the couch. We argued for over an hour about it but in the end he won and I retired for the night to my son’s room. My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour as I retraced the events of the night. How my son insisted I was more beautiful than his own girlfriend and that I had a better figure. How he treated me like a woman on a date, buying me the nicest things. I thought about the roses and the kiss that lasted a bit too long. The kiss that was even more intoxicating than the any of the champagne. I pulled off my dress in a euphoric trance and plopped naked onto my son’s bed. The sheets were satin and felt exquisite on my bare nipples. I rolled over onto my back, the sheets brushing my nipples to rock hard peaks and I started to pinch them and dream sleepily of my son. Within minutes I was panting with lust. God how I wanted my son in this bed with me. I wanted him to be pinching my nipples, not me. I rolled over to get to my luggage and unzipped the secret compartment that I had packed my special dildo in. If I couldn’t have my son, then I’d have to pretend. I slowly slid the large dildo out and placed it between my legs as I lay on my back. I prepared myself to accept the rubbery toy but stopped. This was stupid, I thought. I had to stop fantazing about this stupid plan of mine. I quickly put the toy away and forced myself to go to sleep. In the morning I was awakened by a knock on the bedroom door. "Mother?" James said. "Yes honey," I called dreamily. "Can I come in?" Quickly I covered myself with my son’s blankets and agreed. In my haste I had fallen asleep still wearing my sexy stockings and jewelry. I had taken off my dress and underclothes to play with myself but had not finished undressing before I fell asleep. My son was carrying a huge tray of breakfast: eggs, toast, hasbrowns, milk and orange juice. He brought it in and asked me to sit up. "You shouldn’t have!" I said gleefully as I pulled the sheets up around my massive chest and let him put the tray over my hips so I could eat. "I owe you," James said. "For what?" "For everything!" James laughed. "You gave me life, a terrific upbringing, everthing. You made me what I am today." I nearly choked. He was a porn star now. Luckily he didn’t know that I knew. Still, I don’t know how he could say I had anything to do with his career choice. "Really?" I asked. "And what are you today?" "I’m successful at what I do," he said delicately. "You never told us what you do," I tried to get him to talk about it. "It’s sort of a secret right now," James said. "But let me promise you that if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be able to do it." Again I almost choked. "Why?" I asked. "You’re my inspiration," he said. "Everyday that I go to work I think of you the whole time and it get’s me through the day." I knew he must be talking about something else the moment he said that. "Well, this breakfast looks wonderful," I said. "I love you so much mom," James said suddenly. "Please James," I said reluctantly. "You’re going to confuse me." "What do you mean?" I looked my son deep in the eyes, "I’m afraid it’s too late." "Tell me," he said. "I’m afraid I’ve fallen in love with you," I said with a tremble. James just stared at me making me feel even more scared and afraid. "I’m in love with you too," he said softly. "No," I said. "You don’t understand. It’s not a mother loves her son type love. It’s more than that." James slowly lifted my breakfast tray off of me and sat it on the floor as he sat on the bed next to me. Then right at that moment he leaned down and kissed my stomach through the satin sheets. "Do you love me enough to let me do this?" He asked. "James, stop," I said "It hurts enough knowing I can’t have you." Suddenly James kissed my pussy through the sheets. I couldn’t believe it! Right on my hot muff. "James," I moaned as he started to pull down his sheets off of me. I couldn’t stop him if I had wanted too and James licked at my pussy through the sheets as they slid off of my massive tits. "Oh God James," I said as he looked up at me admiring my extremely large breasts. "I want to make love to you." James kept pulling the sheets down until they uncovered my golden snatch and then put his hands on my stomach.. "I’ve waited so many years to hear you say that," he said. Before I could take in all that was happening, my son lowered his face into my bush and flicked his tongue out across my swollen clit. "Oh my fucking God," I moaned. "I can’t believe you’re doing this." James slid his hands underneath my tight ass and lifted my pussy up into his face gently. I felt his tongue stab deep inside my pussy and I cried out in pleasure. "You’re pussy tastes so much better than I always imagined," James said as he licked in little circles around my clit. "Please James," I said as I raised my knees and spread them wide for him. "Please tell me this isn’t a dream." "We may not be dreaming," James said. "But I know I’m in heaven." With that his tongue shot deep inside me again and I felt his big hands squeezing my ass as I bucked on his strong young face. "I can’t believe this is happening," I said as I moaned and looked to the ceiling with lidded eyes. James slid his hands between my legs and used his large fingers to spread open the lips of my tight unfucked cunt. Delicately he licked first the right lip then the left before returning to my sensitive clit. "All I want to do is make you happy," James said as he slowly licked my clit, driving nearly to orgasm alraedy. "In all these years I’ve been faithful to your father," I said as he continued eating me with the expertise of a sex stallion. "You deserve much better than him," James said. James started ramming his tongue up my pussy again and this time I came. "OH GODD!!!" I screamed. "I’m cumming!" "I’ve dreamed about tasting your cum for so many years," James said as he lapped at my pussy hard with long wet licks. "Oh God," I moaned. "Why didn’t you tell me baby?’ "God it tastes so good!" James said with genuine excitement in his voice. "Oh God it tastes so good!" "Lick mommy’s cum," I purred. "Eat it all up baby." I felt James spread my tight ass and was surprised as he slid his finger right into my asshole while he ate me. "OH GOD!" I screamed. "That feels so good!!" James worked his finger in and out of my tight asshole while he licked every last drop of my heavy orgasm. "My turn baby," I panted. "Let mommy take care of you now." James pulled his finger out of my ass and lay on his back on the bed as I sat up and started unbuttoning his pants. "You have no idea how bad I want to suck your cock do you?" I asked. "You’re so beautiful," was all James said as I finished opening his jeans and started to pull down his underwear. My eyes widened as I saw my son’s gigantic thick cock spring out in my face. "There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do to suck my son’s cock," I said. "I’d sell my soul for just one moment of you in my mouth." "It’s all yours mother," He said. "You don’t have to sell anything." For the first time ever I wrapped my lips around a cock so big that it hurt my jaw but I didn’t care as I slowly slid my son’s shaft down my throat and heard him groan the most pleasurable moan I’d ever heard. "You’re too good for me mother," James said as he brushed the hair out of my eyes. "I don’t deserve this." "Don’t say that," I scolded him. "Don’t ever say that. I’m your mother and you deserve to have every part of me you want." I grabbed my huge tits and pushed one of them against his cock so that my nipple brushed his fat purple cockhead. "You’re so perfect!" James said. "Every inch of you is blessed by God himself." "God had nothing to do with what I’m going to do to you," I said as I shoved his cock back down my throat and sucked as I slowly stroked his long shaft in my hand. "You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth," James grunted as he watched me with wide eyes. "Son," I said. "I want your huge cock in every hole your mother has. Do you hear me?" "I can’t believe how good you are to me," he said as I sucked his cock back into my mouth. "It feels so good mother!" "I worship your cock," I said. "I worship your cock more than anything. To me, YOU are God." "I’m not God mother," James said. "YES YOU ARE!" I demanded as I grabbed his cock by the balls. "THIS is my savior. This is my redemption. Crucify me on your huge cock!" James reached down and grabbed both of my huge tits and started tugging at my swollen hard nipples. "This is my salvation," He said. "And heaven is inside you." I let go of my son’s cock glistening with my syliva and spread my legs to show him my pussy. "Then come," I said as I spread open my pussy with my fingers. "Enter into the gates of heaven." James grabbed me by the hand and pulled me up on top of him until I lifted my knee and stradled his big cock. My son’s hands were all over my tits squeezing them and pinching my nipples as I frantically reached between my legs to grasp his fat cock. "Take me to heaven mother," He said as I placed his fat cock against my pussy and prepared to impale myself on it. I pushed back and felt my son’s cock pop inside the tight canal leading up inside me. "IT’S FUCKING GOING IN!" I screamed. "I’ve never had cock this big inside me!" James was crying now with tears in his eyes. "What’s wrong baby?" I asked without moving. "It’s all so beautiful," He cried. "I’m afraid it’s going to end." "OH BABY," I said as I brushed aside his tears with my fingers and pulled off of his fat cock till it slapped wetly on his stomach. "Before we do this," I said. "Let’s get one thing straight. I love you more than anything in the world. This doesn’t have to end until you want it to." James put his hands on my tight ass and rubbed it gently. "But you’ll be going back to dad and…" he started. "Only if you force me to," I cut him off. "I plan on staying with you the rest of your life or until you make me leave." "You promise???" James asked. "You wont leave me?" "All my life I’ve been searching for God," I told him. "I thought I’d find him in the Bible - I didn’t. I thought I’d find him in prayer - I didn’t. Now I have you. With God there is no weeping. With God there is no pain. With God everything is perfect. God is the creator of life. You could create life inside me with one shot. God is worthy of worship. I worship you. The Bible says "Your rod and your staff will comfort me. Well your rod and your staff will comfort me all the days of my life. I’ve never felt as alive as I do with you. My whole body is on fire and I want nothing more than to worship your body and give you pleasure. You are my God and I will never leave you." Suddenly James grabbed the back of my head and kissed me on the lips shoving his tongue in my mouth and making me feel like cumming again. We kissed for what seemed forever and finally it stopped. "Now come on," I said. "I want to know what it feels like to get fucked by God." Grabbing my son’s cock once more I popped it into my tight cunt and slowly started sliding myself down on it. "OH GOOOODDDDDD!!" I screamed as the first three inches of my son’s cock stretched my pussy wide open and filled me inside. "God has such a big cock baby!" I panted in my son’s face. "God has such a HUGE COCK!" With that I shoved my hips down again forcing another three inches into me and I felt my pussy stretching further as his cock widened at the base. "I can’t believe I have my son’s cock up my pussy!" I gasped for air. "I want to make you cum mother," James grabbed my ass. "I want to make you cum so bad." "I love your big hard COCK," I screamed as I rammed my cunt down his shaft until I had engulfed the last 4 inches. For the first time in my life I had 10 full inches of hard cock jutting up inside my belly. "I LOVE YOU!" James groaned. "GOD I LOVE YOU!!!" I slowly started to lift my ass and slide my cunt up my son’s cock making him jerk and squeeze my ass as if he had to keep me absolutely still to keep from cumming. "I love you so much James," I said as I reached around and grabbed my son’s fat balls. This caused my tits to raise up and James took the opportunity to suck my left nipple into his mouth. "It feels so fucking good mother!" James said as he sucked my tits loudly. "OH GOD!" Quickly I started to ram my pussy up and down my son’s hard cock the entire length. "I love 10 hard inches of cock rammed up my pussy!" I panted. I grabbed on to my son’s shoulders and sat upright as I started to bounce up and down on his cock making my tits jiggle all over the place. My ass slapped wetly against James’ legs as I pounded his shaft up into me over and over. "FUCK ME SON!" I screamed. "FUCK ME!" "OH GOD MOTHER!" James said as he grabbed my ass and thrust his huge cock up into me with each downward thrust I made. Together we jammed his pole up me so hard it was bruising my stomach inside. "Here it comes baby!" I screamed. "MOMMY’S CUMMING!!!" "FUCKING TAKE IT MOTHER!" James said as he continued thrusting up into me. "TAKE MY COCK!" "You’re cocks all the way up inside you mother," I panted. "I’m cumming all over your huge monster!" "I CAN’T BELIEVE IT," James cried out. "OH GOD YOUR SO TIGHT!" "You’re cock was always meant to be inside me," I said as I bounced up and down on my son slower and slower as my orgasm died. "I can feel every bump and vein in your huge cock." "Don’t stop mother," James groaned. "I would never stop without feeling your cum shoot up inside me," I panted. "OH YES!" James barked. "I want to cum in you mother!" "That’s right baby," I said as I pulled my cunt up my son’s cock far enough that I could rub his slippery shaft with my fingers. "You’re cum always did belong inside your mother’s pussy. Slowly I slid my cunt down on my son until he was buried inside me to the hilt. I then started rocking back and forth making his shaft losen my tight muscles. "Gotta make room for all that cum you’re going to give me," I said. James grabbed my hips then and held me down on his cock, his balls smashed against my clit. "RIGHT NOW MOTHER!" James grunted. "I’m gonna fill you up right now!" "JESUS CHRIST!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I felt my son’s cum shoot so hard inside me that it felt like an explosion. "I LOVE YOU!" James gasped. "I LOVE YOU!" I grabbed my son’s ball and played with them while he came. "PUMP THAT CUM UP INSIDE ME!" I demanded. "MORE, MORE!" My tummy felt hot inside as my son’s sperm filled me ounce after ounce. I could feel his hot cum running out of my cunt and down his balls as I started to overfill. "Such a big load for your mother," I said. "God your a good boy!" James wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me to him. Instead of kissing me like I thought he would, James rolled me over onto my back with his cock still inside me. Ripping off his shirt and jerking down his jeans James kept squirting inside me. "What are you doing baby?" I asked. "Showing you just how much I love you," He said as he lifted up my legs so that my knees bent to my tits. Quickly James started pumping his still hard cock in and out of my pussy, slapping against my ass with each stroke. "OH GOD FUCK ME!" I screamed. "YES! FUCK MOMMY!" James hooked his shoulders under my knees and had me bent in half as he pounded my pussy like a madman. "You want to make mommy cum again?" I asked. "YES, GOD YES!" James shouted. "GOOD BOY!" I shouted. "DRILL MOMMY"S PUSSY!" In minutes I was cumming again. "FUCKKKK MEEE!!!!" I screamed. "You’re cock’s so big son! You’re cock’s so big!" "I’m gonna cum mother!" James shouted. "Cum on me!" I pleaded. "PULL IT OUT!!!" James ripped his cock out of me like lightening and shot a huge white load up my belly and onto my tits. "OH GOD I LOVE YOU!" I screamed as his cum continued shooting all over my tits. "CUM ON MOMMY’S TITS! CUM ON HER BIG FUCKING TITS!" James’s cum stopped spurting so hard and started to land on my stomach. I watched with love in my eyes as he jerked himself off and dribbled his thick jism onto my pussy. "Get it all over my pussy," I panted. "I want to see my son’s cum all sticky on my pussy." James jerked thick loads into my blonde pubic hair and squirted his last shots onto my dripping cunt. "I love you more than you’ll ever know," I told him as he leaned forward and licked his cum off my left nipple. "You’re mother feels so good laying on your bed all covered in her son’s cum." James looked down at me and smiled. "I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life," he said. "I want you to cover your mother in your hot cum every night," I said. "Promise me that." "I swear it!" James lay on top of me, his cum sliding between our bodies and we kissed deeply for a long time. "When are you going to tell dad," James said. "Hand me the phone." James reached over to a cordless by the bed and rolled over so I could sit up. I quickly dialed the number of my husbands office. "Hello John," I said when he answered. "John I’ve got something to tell you," I continued. "I’m leaving you." "No, I’m not kidding," I said after he complained. "Right as we speak I’m covered in our son’s own cum. That’s right, your son and mine. And let me tell you something John," I continued. "You’re son has the most glorious 10 inch cock I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been stretched so much in my entire life." Suddenly James was kissing my nipples and climbing up on top of me again. "In fact," I said. "You’re son is about to ram his big hard cock back up my pussy again." James slid his cock up my pussy slowly but firmly.. "OH FUCK JOHN!" I yelled. "You’re son’s fucking me!" My husband hung up. "I think he get’s the picture," I said to James. "Maybe we should send him one," James laughed. "A picture?" I said. "GOD YOUR EVIL!" "I love seeing you cum mother." "Well your going to see it a lot more!" "Wait a minute!" James said as he reached over and picked up the phone. In a few seconds somone answered. "Rachael?" He said. "Ya, this is James. I want you to come get your shit out of my house." "Ya, my mother’s here," James said. "I’ve got my cock inside her right now." "Hello Rachael dear," I said into the phone. "Yes that’s my mother," James said. "I never knew my son had such a wonderfully huge cock," I said. "Thanks for keeping him company for me. You’re invited to come over and watch me fuck him if you want." "Ya fuck you too," James said as he hung up the phone. "Well that about does it." "Was her pussy tighter than mine?" I asked. "You can be honest." "Not even close! You’re by far the t