Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1412962.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      Gen, F/M, M/M, Other, Multi
  Fandom:
      Neon_Genesis_Evangelion, SpongeBob_SquarePants_(Cartoon)
  Relationship:
      Ikari_Shinji/Nagisa_Kaworu, Ikari_Gendo/Ikari_Yui, Ikari_Shinji_/_Mr.
      Krabs
  Character:
      Ikari_Shinji, Mr._Krabs, Ikari_Gendo, Ikari_Yui
  Additional Tags:
      major_spoilers_for_both_spongebob_and_evangelion
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-04-04 Words: 280
****** this is pretty steamy ******
by birdswithoutbees
Summary
     like, really steamy
Mr. Krabs and Shinji are having the buttsex. They have known each other for
less than 24 hours and are having the buttsex, "Oooh my romeo your onchinchin
feels so nice in my ANUS!" Shinji neighs like a horse getting fucked in the ass
by a slightly taller horse. And by taller I mean it's neck. And by neck I mean
dick. And by taller I mean larger. Mr. Krabs has a bigger dick than Shinji.
Shinji has a smaller dick than Mr. Krabs. He has a complex about this. He cries
himself to sleep at night thinking about how BIG Mr. Krab's DICK is.
Suddenly, he can't take it anymore. He splurts dead kids everywhere, gets up,
and travels to his mom and dad were having sex. "Dad, you have a small dick."
Knowing his Dad has a small dick makes Shinji feel better about his own dick,
his love life, and his relationship with his father. Why is he so upset about
somebody with a small dick? Wait, he has a small dick too. He must warn his
mother, "Abort me, I have a small dick too." He then travels forward in time
and finds out the dumbass didn't abort him and oh my god what is she doing with
that robo
He goes back to the present to have more sex with Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs is
concerned about Shinji's sanity and asks, "bbz what go"
"Why talk when we can have sex?" Shinji asks, and grabs Mr. Krabs's weiner in
his teeth and rips it out of his body. Kaworu dies instantly. The last angel
has been defeated. Third Impact has been prevented. Humanity has won.
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