Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/12374187. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Formula_E_RPF Relationship: António_Félix_da_Costa/Robin_Frijns Character: António_Félix_da_Costa, Robin_Frijns, Daniel_Juncadella, Felix Rosenqvist, Tom_Blomqvist Additional Tags: Mafia_AU, Violence, Torture, Beating, Blood, Injury, Shooting, Gunshot Wounds, Alternate_Universe_-_Mob, Childhood_Friends, Implied/Referenced Drug_Use, Romance, Angst Stats: Published: 2017-10-15 Words: 11010 ****** the ecstasy of gold ****** by gingerink Summary “Your mother might change your name but she cannot change who you are,” The man continues, his gaze never wavering. Robin Frijns finds the dark past and the boy he used to love that he left behind, comes back to haunt him. Notes This monster, well came about as all monsters do, I wanted to write a birthday fic for my dear mole wife Kim. It was supposed to be no more than 1k, but well, I am incapable of producing anything like that. Thanks to Rae and Emma for cheerleading me through this. This fic is not a nice one - Antonio is the head of the mafia that operates in Spain and Portugal, the Galega. I did not undertake any research so it's strictly artistic license on this one. Contains blood, fighting, crime, guns, references to drugs and an underage relationship. Happy birthday Kim, my love. I hope you enjoy this :) “Can’t believe he would send his hitmen to kill me,” A hoarse voice sounded out through the shadows. A pause. The sound of blood hitting the asphalt from between chapped lips and battered teeth. “He doesn’t even have the balls to face me himself-” The sound of metal on skin and bone. A pained groan. Blood is spat into the darkened concrete, torn knuckles gripping at the cold surface, littered with cigarette butts. Robin paused, his hand tightening around the bag of groceries that he’d picked up from the store after his shift at the hospital where he worked as a nurse. He hadn’t even meant to come this way - he just wanted to save some time. “Shut your mouth,” Another voice snarled, his knuckles - stark-white - tighten around the pistol. “You’re expendable,” A dull shallow laugh filled the alleyway. “I am like the Hydra, my dear boy.” Another pause as blood splattered over the asphalt. Robin tries to take a deep breath, his lip catching on his teeth. He doesn’t want to be here - not right now - it brings back memories that he had buried deep inside himself. He closes his eyes, trying not to think about bloodied knuckles, of his fingers tightening around the trigger, of the constant threat of danger, of his mother grabbing him from amongst the bloodbath, fleeing with nothing but the clothes they were wearing. We’re safe now, Robin. We’re safe from all that business. “Shut the fuck up,” The other voice spits back, the shadow of the gun dances over the alleyway. “You’re useless, nothing but a washed up nobody,” “Do you know why they call me the Hydra, boy?” The hoarse voiced man sounds calm, almost like he knows what will happen, that he’s already accepted his fate. Robin tastes the own blood in his mouth as the man with the bloodied face looks up at the other. “The legend is that when you cut the head off the Hydra, several grow back in its place. You can kill me, but this will not be over,” “It is for now,” The man spits as the gunshot rings through the alleyway. The bloodied man - Hydra - slumps against the asphalt, a perfectly round circle decorating his forehead, his eyes glassy and unfocused. The whimper pulls itself from Robin’s lips before he can stop it. The man’s head immediately snaps up, his eyes scanning the shadows. “Show yourself,” The man snarls out, his hand tightening on the gun, the gun he just used to end a life. “Now,” Robin can still taste the blood on his tongue, his fingers slightly sweaty from grasping the grocery bag too tightly. He tries to remember what to do, what he would have done back then - run , his brain supplies. His breath seizes in his chest as he takes off running out of the alleyway. But he hears hurried footsteps behind him, the sound of heavy boots clacking against the asphalt, a trigger being tightened. Robin tries to focus on the mouth of the alleyway, on getting to safety, about forgetting what he should witnessed. However, as the thoughts push through his brain, he barely registers the second gunshot ringing through the air. Pain floods through his left shoulder - a pain he remembers from years ago. He barely remembers anything else around the dull flashes of white hot pain, his hand pressing against his shoulder, his fingers coming away bloody as he falls to his knees. He barely feels the ache as his jeans tear under the asphalt, as he crumples to the floor. The grocery bag falls to the floor, one of the apples rolls across the ground, dotted with specks of blood as everything goes black. =============================================================================== Robin wakes up in an unfamiliar place, the dull ache still pounding in his chest. He groans, squeezing his eyes open to glance around at his surroundings. He’s in a dark room - unfurnished, except the chair that he’s sitting on and the single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. “Fuck,” Robin hisses out as he glances down at his wrists, bound by cable ties. The metallic tang of blood hovers on his tongue as he pulls at his arms, trying to break free. He tries to remember what his father taught him, all those years ago - but his father’s voice blurs against the silence of the room. Pain rips through him as he twists his body slightly, making him glance down to see his bloodied shirt. The bullet wound - he remembers the gunshot, remembers the man falling down dead, remembers the pain as the bullet pierced his skin - “Making yourself comfortable?” A voice pipes up and Robin jumps at the sudden noise, stilling against the chair. The man steps out of the shadows, the gun still held tightly in his grasp. Robin notes how normal he looks, how young he appears to be. Reddish-brown messy hair, a reddish beard, hazel eyes, blood splattered over one of his cheeks. “You’re going to die anyway,” “I won’t tell anyone what I saw,” Robin says quietly. “I just want to go back to my normal life,” He fiddles with the cable tie around his right wrist. It’s loose - looser than it should be. It’s an opportunity, a chance for Robin to escape. The man lets out a light laugh. “Sure, you won’t tell anyone. How will you explain the bullet hole in your shoulder?” Robin knows that he could easily patch it up in his own apartment with a sterilised needle, thread and a pair of tweezers. But he can’t let the man know that. “Who would believe me? You’ve probably cleared up the body by now,” “You’re right. Nobody would believe you. We have people in the police, always watching, always waiting for people like you,” The man says with a smile, his gun still held tightly in his hand. Robin continues to fiddle with the cable tie, feeling it slacken under his grip. “Who are you?” The man barks out another laugh. “That’s funny,” He palms the gun, his finger sliding over the trigger. “I think you know who I am,” Robin knows what he wants to say, but he hasn’t uttered the word for many years. He buried the word, along with his past life. “I don’t, I just want to get out of here,” “The only way you’re leaving here my friend, is in a body bag,” The man laughs. Robin continues to wriggle the tie, it’s almost wide enough for him to slip his hand through. He just needs a little more time. “It doesn’t have to be like this,” Robin reasons. “You don’t have to mindlessly kill people to satisfy your boss-” “My boss?” The man smirks. “You know nothing about the man I work for, he’s one of the most dangerous men alive,” Robin loosens the tie further. There’s just enough space for him to slip his wrist through, but he needs an opportunity, he needs a moment. The man moves closer, his hazel eyes locking on Robin. “I am done with these games now,” He says, his voice tinged with boredom. He lifts the gun to Robin’s temple. Robin stiffens as the cool metal brushes against the side of his head, but he doesn’t close his eyes. He remembers his father’s gruff voice in the back of his mind. Remember, son. If you’re ever faced with death, you stare it in the face. He keeps his eyes trained on the man before him, on the way his jaw clenches, on the way his brow furrows as he catches Robin’s gaze.  “You’re not closing your eyes, you’re not scared-” The man says, looking confused. His eyes lock with Robin’s. “You look familiar... I feel I’ve seen you before…” The man tails off.  Robin sees the opportunity as the man’s focus fades for a moment. He rips his hand free of the cable tie without warning, immediately moving to push the gun away from his face. The man seems surprised by Robin’s escape but fights back, the pair of them grappling with the gun.  Robin knows he’s fighting for his life. He knows he has to either get the gun or throw it away so he can wrench his other hand free from the bindings. Robin pushes the gun away from himself, fighting to restrain the man with one hand as the gun hovers meticulously between their bodies. Robin gasps out as the man’s other hand claws at his t- shirt, ripping the thin fabric open. The force pulls on the wound on his shoulder and he cries out in pain, arching upwards. The man smirks triumphantly and the gun steadies on Robin as the young man slumps against the chair, panting with the exertion. He prepares himself for the gunshot. He prepares himself for death. But the gun never fires. Robin glances at the man, only to find that he is standing in front of him with his face as white as a sheet. Robin glances down and finds his shirt has ripped open and the mark that his father had branded him with when he was ten years old, the brand of his family and of his old life is poking through the tears in his t-shirt. The black sun is stark against his pale bloodied skin. “Traitor,” The man spits, lurching forward. Pain erupts white-hot over every nerve ending for a moment until Robin’s vision suddenly goes black for a second time, sinking into blissful unconsciousness. =============================================================================== Robin awakens a few moments later, pain still spreading through his chest. He groans at the sensation and twists his wrists, only to find them held in place by the cable ties once more. This time, the ties are tighter, tighter than they were before. Robin still tries to wrench his hands free he needs to escape, he needs to get out of here - “You’re not going anywhere,” The man’s voice cuts through his pained gasps. “That trick will only work once,” “I don’t understand what you want from me,” Robin says, twisting his wrists. “At first, my plan was to kill you,” The man says, still holding onto his gun. “But now, I know who you truly are-” He laughs, moving closer. The gun grazes against Robin’s face. “I will delight in killing you,” Robin bites down on his lip. “I don’t want this, I never wanted to be a part of this-” “Liar,” The man snarls. “You always were going to be a part of this, whether you liked it or not,” “I don’t want to be!” Robin calls out, struggling against his bonds. “I don’t want this life!” “Then let me end it,” The man says, grinning as he pushes the gun further against Robin’s temple. Time seems to slow down in that moment, Robin can hear he’s saying something but he can’t make out what. He can feel the cool metal against his face, can hear the bullet been primed, ready for his death. He takes a deep breath, tries not to think about all the things he will never see again, what he will never achieve - “That’s enough of that, Daniel,” Another voice calls out through the silence. The man - Daniel - stiffens at the sound and immediately withdraws his gun. “Boss,” Daniel whispers, his body immediately standing a little straighter. “I was just taking care of some unfinished business,” The voice lets out a light laugh. “By bringing the business home with you? I doubt Felix would be pleased at your behaviour,” Daniel’s brow furrows at the words but he stays silent as the man slowly walks towards them. Robin watches as the light slowly illuminates the owner of the voice - the boss of the entire outfit. He’s nothing like he imagined. The man before him is small and skinny, his slight form enclosed in an expensive suit. His caramel skin seems to gleam in the dim light and his eyes - dark brown - bore into Robin. “Name,” He says, shortly. “Robin Jansen,” Robin says, worrying his lip. “Don’t lie to me,” The man says in a calm, even tone. “It’s not a good first impression,” “I’m not lying-” Robin begins. “Your mother might change your name but she cannot change who you are,” The man continues, his gaze never wavering. “Robin Frijns,” Robin flinches at the name, the name he buried so long ago. It was the name that his father carried, that his mother tore away from them both, to protect them, to save them from that life. “You don’t remember me, do you?” The man grins widely as he moves closer, his eyes ghosting over Robin’s face. “I-” Robin begins, his lips suddenly dry. “I’m hurt, Robin,” The man continues. “Or, should I call you, docinho?” Robin suddenly remembers. Memories of a dark haired boy with a gap in his front teeth smiling at him, giggling as they shared ice cream, holding each other as the pain of their fresh brands seeped over their chests. He remembers the man before him as a teenager, he remembers their lips colliding, the stories they’d tell of their futures together. “Antonio,” He whispers. “What else did you forget?” Antonio says silkily. “Did you forget what we used to be? Did you forget what your father did to mine?” Robin glances down at the ground. He buried that moment, the moment of the scream from the other man as his blood showered the walls. But a calloused hand grasps his face, wrenching it up. “You can’t have forgotten docinho,” “I...that was the reason I left, I didn’t want to be a part of that anymore, of my father’s life I mean-” Robin says, glancing up into dark eyes of the boy he once knew. “And you think I did? You think I wanted to be in charge when I was nothing more than a kid?” Ant snarls, shaking Robin lightly. “No, of course not-” Robin replies, trying to look away. “I’m not my father,” “No, you’re a coward,” Ant snaps. “You ran away from your destiny, from the life you were supposed to have, we were supposed to have,” “Better than being dead,” Robin cuts back, gazing up at Ant. “You’re going to die anyway,” Ant says, smiling. His fingers run gently along Robin’s face. “I will make sure of that,” His hand pulls away as he turns on his heel. “What do you want us to do with him?” Daniel asks, making the shorter man stop in his tracks. “Keep him alive, for now,” Ant says silkily. “I want to speak to you in private, Daniel. Give me an hour,” =============================================================================== There’s a knock on Antonio’s door. “Enter,” He states, his eyes locked on the door. Daniel wordlessly slides through the opening and moves over to stand in front of the shorter man. “You summoned me, boss?” Daniel says delicately, trying not to glance down at the line of cocaine on Antonio’s desk, on the rolled up banknote still clutched in his fingers. “How did you find Robin?” Ant asks, his dark eyes boring into the Spanish man before him. “By accident. He witnessed me undertaking the order,” Daniel says, worrying his lip. “It wasn’t until I was fighting with him that I saw the brand, the brand I hadn’t seen for years. Why?” “Just curious,” Ant says, waving his hand. “Did you really play with him as a boy?” Daniel asks. Ant clings to his father’s leg, but continues to look at the other little boy. “Daddy, who is that?” His father follows his gaze. “Oh, that is Robin,” “Robin,” Ant repeats. His father leads him over to Mr Frijns, a name he still cannot pronounce, and they shake hands, their sons hiding away but curious about the other’s existence. “Robin, stop being so ridiculous and introduce yourself to the heir,” Mr Frijns snaps and Robin, a skinny five year old reluctantly leaves the safety of his father’s feet. “I’m Robin Frijns,” He says with a smile, holding his hand out. “Antonio Felix Da Costa,” Ant replies, smiling back. “It’s hardly relevant,” Ant says sharply. “He was just a kid that I used to know. None of that matters now. He is the heir of a traitor. And you remember our family motto-” “Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth,” Daniel says wordlessly. “Exactly,” Ant replies silkily. “He doesn’t matter to me, not anymore,” =============================================================================== Robin awakens to darkness, pain coursing through his battered body. He gasps out in pain, taking note of the blood caked underneath his fingernails, of the dirt pressing into his wounds. Daniel had taken his anger out on him when Antonio had left the room. He’d kicked Robin, punched him, blackened his face. He didn’t want this life, this was exactly what he’d been trying to stay away from. He thinks of his mother, how worried she will be as his fingers dance over the brand, still as black as the day it was forced on Robin. Robin remembers the pain, the blood, the torn edges of skin as his father told him to suck it up. You’re supposed to be tough, Robin. How can you expect to lead my men if you cry? But Daddy- Stop being a pussy! Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about! It hurts though, Daddy- You never get anywhere without pain, son. Robin remembered those words, even as a teenager, as he grew into a young man - that he would never achieve anything without pain. The tears fall down his cheeks as he bites back a sob. He never wanted this. He remembers finding his father dead, a bullet through his head, the same way he’d executed other men, the same way he’d murdered Antonio’s father. His mother had grabbed his hand, had pulled him away with blood still staining his clothes. They’d left with nothing but the clothes they were wearing - Robin Frijns had become Robin Jansen, a teenager who hid his dark history away from everyone he came to know. Robin shifts slightly, groaning at the dull ache in his ribs as the door slowly opens. “Good morning, Robin,” Daniel says, grinning widely. “You come to torture me some more?” Robin asks in a dry tone. “Not today, sweetheart. The boss wants to speak to you,” Daniel says, the smile still clinging to his lips as he seizes Robin by the arm, tugging him off the bed. Robin bites down on his lip as Daniel’s arm closes over the fresh bruises on his skin but says nothing as the taller man leads him out of the room and down the hallway to Ant’s office. He knocks briskly and waits for the command to enter. It comes quickly, and Robin finds himself in the illuminated office of Ant. The man is sitting in his leather chair and looks up from the papers he’s working on to glance up at the pair. “Like you asked for, boss,” Daniel says crisply. There’s a curve of a smirk on Ant’s lips. “Thank you. You may leave us, Daniel,” Daniel looks like he wants to argue but thinks better of it and leaves the room silently, leaving Robin alone with the other man. Robin is silent as he watches Ant finish up his paperwork, his body still aches but he remains still. “Please sit down,” Ant says, without looking at Robin. Robin reluctantly sinks into the chair opposite Ant and waits for him to finish writing. Ant signs his name with a flourish and finally turns his dark brown eyes to the man sitting before him. “I wanted to know how you are,” Robin bites back a laugh. It’s obvious from the bruises on his face, from the cuts to his lip, that everything that is not well. “I’ve been better,” He replies, tonelessly. “I suppose you’re wondering why you’re still here,” Ant says, his face blank. “Not really. I know that you’re planning on making me suffer before you kill me,” Robin shoots back, his eyes boring into Ant’s. Ant returns the gaze. “You surprise me,” He says lightly. Robin raises an eyebrow. “What? How so?” “You’re not frightened by the prospect of death,” Ant says silkily, standing up from his chair and moving closer towards Robin. Robin stiffens as he feels Ant close in on him, his dark eyes never leaving Robin’s form. “You used to be such a good kid...but I’m glad that you’re starting to become the person you always should have been,” “I’m nothing like you,” Robin finds himself spitting and Ant just smiles widely. “You keep telling yourself that, Robin. Does it make you feel better? You’re only fulfilling your destiny, your destiny to be just like your father, just like me. The life you were born into-” “No!” Robin yells out, shaking his head. “This is not my destiny, this is not the life I want to lead! I’m just a nurse, an ordinary nurse!” Ant laughs again. “So naive, Robin. You have no idea about your life at all, your true life, about your mother-” “Don’t you dare talk about my mother-” Robin begins, only to pause as Ant leans in, his hand ghosting over Robin’s chin. Dark brown eyes bore into blue ones. “You know nothing about your life, Robin, my love,” Ant says, in a calm tone. “But don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything in good time,” “Why don’t you just kill me? It’s obvious that you want revenge for your father,” Robin spits out from between cracked lips. “Like why don’t you just kill me right now?” “I rather like the suit I have on and your blood would ruin it,” Ant replies crisply. His fingers stroke over Robin’s face. “You’re very interesting...so different from back then-” His voice almost seems to change. “Do you remember that, Robin? Back when you loved me-” Robin stays silent. “Before your filthy father ruined my life,” “Tino-” Robin begins and Ant’s hand stills on his face. “Don’t call me that,” Ant snaps, pulling his hand away. “I’m not that person anymore,” “But-” “Get out,” Ant snarls, pointing towards the door. “Never speak of that name ever again,” Robin reluctantly climbs to his feet and slowly leaves the room with his thoughts spinning. He thinks about Ant as the boy he remembers, of the way he laughed, the way he smiled. Ant sinks back into his chair and grabs the bottle of whiskey from underneath his desk. He pours himself a dram of the amber liquid and knocks it back, wincing at the bitterness curling around his throat. “Tino,” He repeats in the silence of the room as his hand wraps around the bottle once more. =============================================================================== Robin groans out in pain as the fist makes impact with his already fragile ribs. He doesn’t know how long he’s been at the house for now - he wonders if anyone is looking for him. Surely, they will have noticed him missing at work? But he knows that Ant is not foolish enough to take him without concocting some plan to explain his whereabouts. The pain has started to become a regular thing for him now - he takes the beatings, he takes the kicks and punches, watches the bruises blossom on his pale skin. The thing that is worse is the conversations - the slurs against his father and his entire family, the illusion that what Robin knows as the truth is nothing but lies. But when Robin presses further, he’s met with silence. Daniel appears, snapping at the nameless tormentors to stop on behalf of the boss’s orders and pulls up a chair, collapsing onto it effortlessly. “Aren’t you a pretty picture?” He drawls out and Robin really wants to reach out and punch him, but he knows he doesn’t have the energy. “You’re not going to respond?” Daniel teases. Robin glances up. “What’s the point? Every question I give, I get punished for,” “Not this time,” Daniel says, turning his head towards the door for a second before turning back to Robin. “He’s been acting strangely the last couple of days,” Daniel continues, glancing at Robin. “At first, I figured it was because he could finally get his revenge, but there’s something different about him,” “How would I know?” Robin says, glancing down at his bruises. “I barely know him,” “Don’t lie. You used to know him though, you were friends as kids,” Robin flinches. “I knew him a lot longer than that. We grew up together, we were best friends. We-” He worries his lip. “We knew that we were growing up in a dangerous world. We knew what our fathers had in mind. But my father was jealous of Antonio’s father, he talked constantly of how much he detested him, for been better, for been the boss. Me and Antonio had no idea what really went on, we both were branded with our family marks on the same day-” “ Robin, are you here?” Ant had whispered, glancing in at the darkened room. He heard a whimper and moved to switch on the light. Robin sat in the corner, cradling his legs to his chest, his torn bloodied shirt clung to his thin form. “It hurts, Tino,” Robin whimpered as Ant moved closer and gently brushed the shirt away from his chest, gasping at the stark black sun emblazoned on his chest, the edges singed and torn. “What happened?” “He said it was time for me to be a man,” Robin said, tears glinting in his eyes. “I’m scared, Tino,” He admits. Ant says nothing else, slowly curling his body around Robin’s. Their hands slowly entwine as they try to forget the future that awaits them. “So you two were close once?” Daniel asks, his face a mixture of emotions. “You could say that,” Robin says, biting his lip. “He told me that our lives didn’t have to be this way, that we could escape from our destiny,” “But things changed,” Daniel presses. “I barely remember that night. I remember him coming home covered in blood. My mother had screamed at him - she was inconsolable. After that, I barely remember - he was killed. Then she got me in the car, left his dead body behind. We changed our name back to her mother’s maiden name and got on with our lives,” Daniel is silent. “I know he blames me,” Robin continues. “I know that Antonio blames me and my family for taking away the life he wanted,” “He had to continue his father’s legacy or be killed by others wanting to replace him,” Daniel says softly. “I know,” Robin says sorrowfully. “He was just a kid. We both were. We both had to grow up that night. I chose to run away from that life and he embraced it,” Daniel can say no more. He glances at the young man before him, battered and bruised, and feels something strange - remorse, guilt, sorrow - that things could have been different for himself and for Antonio. =============================================================================== Robin got used to the beatings, got used to the bruises littering his skin and the bread and water bottle slid into the room every morning. He tries to remember what life was like before all of this, tries to remember the childhood he fought to bury. He thinks about Daniel’s words, that Ant had changed and wondered why. The doorknob turns and the lock clicks open, killing the silence immediately. Robin glances up to see Ant come into the room, shutting the room wordlessly behind him. He stiffens as the slightly taller man moves towards the bed, his eyes dancing over Robin’s battered body. “I am surprised you haven’t given in yet,” He begins, eyes locked on the bruises. “I am surprised you’re lowering yourself to even come and see what you’ve done. Don’t you have other things to do?” Ant grins widely. “You do hold a certain interest for me, I suppose,” Robin glances at him with wide eyes. “Why?” “You know why docinha. Because you’re the only link to the person I was before, the only one who doesn’t see me as the boss,” Robin doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know where he’d begin. Ant looks softer somehow, standing in front of him. “Why did you run away?” Ant says, his voice calm and controlled. “Why did you leave?” “My mother-” Robin whispers. “My mother was afraid that we would be killed,” “Your mother knew that eventually, you would be groomed to be my right hand man,” Ant says, his eyes bright. There was a sense of bitterness in his voice. “So she took you away,” “What? No-” Ant laughs. “Robin, stop been so naive. There was a reason your father wanted mine dead. He was my father’s right hand man, the Frijns family has always been part of the Galega for generations-” He pauses. “Your father knew of my father’s plans for you, that one day you would stand by my side. You left me, you left us ,” “What are you saying?” Robin asks, anger in his tone. “I am saying that there was more than one reason your father died that night,” Ant says gravely. “No,” Robin shakes his head. “No. My father never protected me-” “He protected you more than you know. That’s why you didn’t get your brand until you were ten, you’re supposed to get it when you’re nine,” “No,” Robin repeats, worrying his lip. “No, you’re wrong-” “I am sorry, Robin,” Ant says, almost tenderly. His hand moves to gently grasp hold of Robin’s, his thumb stroking over the soft skin. Robin gasps at the contact, of the reminder of so many years ago when Ant used to clasp his hand to support him, to protect him. He wants to push Ant away, push away the man who he once considered his best friend, but he can’t. He’s touch-starved and craves the comfort, even if it is from a man as dangerous as Antonio Felix Da Costa. Ant continues to stroke over Robin’s hand as the shorter man glances up at him with red eyes. “Why are you doing this?” He asks, his voice cracking. “I told you why, you interest me,” Ant repeats, his thumb gliding over Robin’s. “I used to think that you cared about me,” Robin says quietly, looking away. “You were my best friend, my first kiss, don’t you remember-” Ant stiffens at the word. “Don’t,” “Robin, what happened?” Ant looks up from his book to find his twelve year old best friend stumbling into the room with a bloodied lip. “It’s nothing,” Robin doesn’t meet Ant’s eyes. “It’s just my training,” “You’re hurt,” Ant whispers, his hand brushing against Robin’s jawline. Robin winces at the contact but he smiles gently at the smaller boy. “I’m fine. It’s just something I have to do,” Robin says, glancing into the dark brown eyes of his best friend, of the boy that his father tells him will control everything. “It’s not fine!” Ant says, sighing. “You come back covered in bruises and blood and you’re always hurting. What are they doing to you, Robin?” “It’s okay,” Robin avoids the question. “It’s just the routine-” “No, no, it’s not okay and it’s not normal. They’re abusing you, Robin!” Robin glances at the door. “Ant, please calm down-” “No, Robin, you need to tell somebody, you need to-” Ant doesn’t finish his sentence as Robin leans in and captures his lips. The two boys fall against each other. Ant’s lips are sweet against his own and he tastes of toothpaste. Robin tastes like blood but Ant doesn’t care. He takes in the taste of Robin, of the older boy sighing against his lips. Robin pulls away, his cheeks red. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” Ant licks his lips, his skin still tingling. “No, don’t apologise, please,” Robin blushes deeper as Ant’s hand finds his own, their fingers entwining. Ant squeezes his hand with a smile. “Did you just block it out after I left?” Robin asks quietly. “No,” Ant replies sharply. “I never forgot about you,” “Then what happened to you?” Robin whispers, glancing up into dark brown eyes. “I have to go-” Ant says after a long pause. “Tino-” Ant closes his eyes. “If I told you, I think you would find me even more of a monster than you already do,” He murmurs as he ducks his head down and turns on his heel, leaving the room. Robin sinks back into the bedsheets, thoughts ringing in his ears. What had happened to Antonio? =============================================================================== The torture stops after that. Robin isn’t told why. They just don’t come to his room, they don’t take him away and beat him. His bruises begin to heal. He wonders if they’ve forgotten about him or if they’re playing with him and simply biding their time. Ant sits in his office as usual, glancing over the paperwork he needs to complete, but his thoughts aren’t in the room, they’re on a certain man a few feet away. He’d ordered his men to stop harming Robin a few days ago. They reluctantly agreed and thankfully asked no questions. But he knows they are curious, he knows that they are watching him to understand why he suddenly changed his mind. Ant glances down at the photo by his paperwork - a photo of himself and Robin from years ago. He can’t pinpoint how old they were, but he glances at his arm wrapped around Robin’s waist, to the way Robin looks at him - “Boss,” Daniel’s voice breaks through the silence and he slides the photo away. “Daniel,” He says, quietly. “What can I do for you?” “I want to speak to you,” “Continue,” Ant waves his hand and signs one of the papers. “About Robin,” Ant’s hand stills on the paper. “Robin,” He repeats, not looking up at the younger man. “Why have you given the order to stop the torture?” Daniel asks crisply, eyes boring into his boss. Ant doesn’t say a word. “Antonio, what is going on?” “Nothing,” Ant says thickly. “Nothing is going on. If we were to continue, he would have died,” “Why do you care? He was just your childhood friend,” Daniel says sharply. “You can’t allow yourself to get hung up on-” “You know nothing,” Ant snaps back. “You know nothing about Robin and I,” “Then tell me, tell me what’s going on. You’ve changed so much. Before, this kid would have had his neck snapped already,” Ant pulls another photo from underneath the pile wordlessly and thrusts it at Daniel. Daniel picks it up and his eyes ghost over the image before him before his mouth drops open, the photo fluttering to the floor. “When? How? Why?” Ant looks up at Daniel. “Since we were twelve. We never did anything like that, but I -,” “You loved him,” Daniel fills in. “In a way,” Ant says. “And now what? You still feel that way?” Daniel probes. “No,” Ant says a little too quickly. “I just..I can’t do that to him,” “But his family is to blame-” “You don’t know everything,” Ant says, simply. “You better sit down,” =============================================================================== “ We shouldn’t do this.” Robin murmurs as he pulls away from Ant. His lips are slightly red and swollen from Ant’s own. “What if your father-” “Shh, relax,” Ant whispers. “You worry too much,” “But you can’t be seen with me, not doing this. I’m supposed to protect you-” “You sound like my father,” Ant chuckles. “Look, nobody can see us here,” Robin sighs heavily. “You’re too much to resist,” “I know,” Ant says, smiling as he captures Robin’s lips again. Robin can’t pinpoint when it happened between himself and Ant. Looking back, he knew it was inevitable. They were the only two kids of their ages and what had begun as friendship had blossomed into something more. After their first kiss, the dam was broken. They were much more interested in each other, in their developing bodies. Robin tried to resist Ant, telling himself that it wasn’t wise to play with fire, but deep down, he was afraid that he would fall for Ant and one day, the heir to the Galega would discard him. But he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted Ant and the feeling seemed mutual. Ant seemed to thrive on the attention that Robin gave him. They became closer, gave each other hurried kisses after their training, where Ant’s hand would dance over Robin’s brand, where they’d whisper about their future - The door swings open and Robin stiffens. He doesn’t get many visitors nowadays, but he doesn’t recognise the man standing before him. “Frijns,” He spits, his blue eyes like chips of ice. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” Robin says calmly, every nerve in his body screaming that something is wrong as he watches the man lock the door. “Blomqvist,” The man says shortly. “And no need to worry about that, I’ve heard all about you,” Robin can sense the man’s anger, directed at him. He stays where he is, arms wrapped around himself and allows the man to continue. “I am one of the boss’s most trusted associates. And things were going great, until you showed up,” “I don’t understand-” “He changed when you arrived. He stopped being interested in mafia business, stopped being so involved in trafficking and at first, I couldn’t work it out. But then he stopped torturing you and it all became clear,” Blomqvist smirks. “So I did some digging to be sure, and what do you know, you used to be a moll didn’t you, Frijns?” “That was in the past,” Robin says, trying to ignore the panic in his chest. “Were you his little slut?” Blomqvist moves closer, his eyes dark and emotionless. “Did you turn him gay? What did you do to him?” “I didn’t do anything-” Robin says, shaking his head. “I didn’t do anything, I swear,” “Liar,” Blomqvist snarls. “He was strong then you came back and now he’s weak and lovestruck,” He shakes his head. “I cannot follow a man like that,” “He doesn’t love me,” Robin says calmly. “Like I don’t know where you got that notion from but-” Blomqvist laughs and tosses a photograph at Robin. “Because I found this on his desk,” Robin glances at the photograph. They’re about fourteen in the photo, Ant with his short hair and Robin in his pair of ugly plaid shorts. Ant is looking at Robin as he laughs, their arms around each other, their feet entangled. “What a picture of love-” Blomqvist sneers. “I never thought the man I pledged my life to was nothing more than a fa-” “No,” Robin says, anger flooding his veins. “It’s only been a few years since I wondered how I could destroy Antonio Felix Da Costa and you have given me the perfect solution,” “What?” Robin asks, brow furrowed. “You, of course,” Blomqvist says, eyes shining. “What better way to destroy and betray him than to kill his childhood sweetheart?” “I’m not his childhood sweetheart-” Robin mutters, backing away. “I’m nothing to him-” “I’m sorry, I don’t believe you, darling,” Blomqvist replies, grinning widely. Robin groans in agony as Blomqvist’s knee collides with his stomach, winding him temporarily. He catches him off guard and he pants out in pain, his ribs although healing, are still sensitive from the beatings. He wants to fight back, like he knows he should remember his training but every time he moves, Blomqvist’s fist hits his body, hits his ribs. Pain blossoms over his body and as Blomqvist catches him in the stomach again, he finds himself spitting onto the floor. Bright red blood spreads over the carpet and Robin wipes his mouth clean. “Why won’t you fight back? Why would Antonio fall in love with a weakling like you?” Blomqvist calls out, raining blows onto Robin. Robin can feel the tears building in the corners of his eyes and he’s about to respond when Blomqvist punches him in the cheekbone. He feels his head snap at the left from the force of the blow, the blood filling his mouth once more. He thinks about his family, about Ant, about his mother as his thoughts begin to blur. “Fight!” Blomqvist screams. “Why won’t you fight?” He hits Robin again and watches the shorter man crumple to the floor. “I never thought it would be this easy,” Blomqvist sneers as he follows Robin down to the floor, watching as the other man tilts his head to the side and coughs up more blood. The red liquid stains the floor, a few droplets staining Blomqvist’s shirt. “I never expected it to be this easy,” Robin groans, pain filling every nerve of his body but he can’t speak. He can only watch as Blomqvist pulls out a knife, his eyes running over Robin’s battered body. “I’m going to cut you apart, I’m going to rip out your heart and leave it for him to find-” Robin wants to fight back but his body won’t respond. He closes his eyes, ignoring his father’s words as he watches Blomqvist’s knife move closer to his skin. “He’s a monster, Frijns. He’s hiding so much from you, about what happened to your father,” Robin can feel his eyes grow heavy, can feel the darkness closing in as he waits for the pain. However, the pain doesn’t come. There’s a hurried knock on the door. “What’s going on in there?” Daniel’s voice calls out on the other side. Blomqvist curses under his breath, wrenching himself away from Robin. “Fuck,” He repeats as he moves towards the window, dropping the knife from his grasp. The handle jiggles as Daniel’s shouts grow louder and Robin wants to scream back, scream for the other man to get in, but Blomqvist is gone before Daniel can enter the room. “Oh my god,” Robin hears Daniel’s voice as the handle finally turns and he enters the room, taking in the sight of the blood spread across the floor. “Oh god-” He repeats as his eyes fall on the broken body of Robin. Robin feels like he’s floating. He knows he’s got at least one broken rib, several bruises and possibly a concussion from the way the world is half spinning in his vision. Pain shoots through his body as he feels Daniel touch him, hears the man speak but it doesn’t register. He just wants to sleep - “No, no, don’t sleep,” Daniel says, lightly slapping his cheek, unleashing a groan from Robin. Robin clings to consciousness as he hears footsteps enter the room, more voices. He feels a warm hand brush against his cheek. “What happened?” Ant’s voice is dangerous, like a thread ready to snap. “I don’t know, I just heard screams and loud noises and-” Daniel begins. “Find who is responsible now,” Ant snaps and the echo of footsteps hitting the floor rings through Robin’s ear again. “It’s okay, I’ll find who who did this to you. They will pay, docinho,” He murmurs as he strokes Robin’s bloodied face. Robin can feel his eyes growing heavy again as Ant’s other hand slowly brushes against his own tentatively before it curls around it, protectively. =============================================================================== Robin and Ant’s lips meet once more.  The young heir groans against his lover, his hand moving to slowly grasp the hair at the nape of Robin’s neck. Robin smiles against his lips, his tongue slowly brushing against the curve of Ant’s lips. “The things you do to me,” Ant whispers against Robin’s mouth. “I’m sorry,” Robin whispers back, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Liar,” Ant says fondly, nipping at Robin’s lips as his hands moves down Robin’s body, sliding down past his jeans. Robin stiffens at the contact as Ant’s hand brushes against his swelling cock. “Ant, what are you doing-” Robin says, pulling his lips away. “Ant-” “I want this, and if you want it too, then-,” Ant murmurs back. “Or don’t you?” “Of course, I do,” Robin says, smiling softly. “I just - I don’t want us to rush into this,” “I understand,” Ant replies. “But I - I can’t stop thinking about you, about your body-” His fingers close around Robin’s cock as he gazes into his lover’s eyes. “I love you, Robin,” Robin exhales deeply. “I - I love you too,” He whispers back as Ant’s hand slowly dances over his cock, teasing him and making him fall against the younger teenager, gasping in pleasure. “Boss,” Daniel sounds tired. “Daniel,” Ant slowly pulls his eyes away from Robin, still asleep on the bed, to glance at his right hand man. “Tell me,” “Blomqvist is missing,” Daniel says shortly. “We checked twice and he’s definitely not in the house. We checked with all the patrols, he wasn’t in any of them,” “Find him,” Ant says sharply, glancing down at Robin. His hand is still linked with the unconscious man’s and Daniel finds himself watching the pair, unable to tear his eyes away. Ant looks so tender for a moment, gazing at Robin before the facade of what he needs to be washes over once more. “And what do we do when we find him?” Daniel asks. “Kill him,” Ant replies, his thumb stroking over Robin’s hand. =============================================================================== Robin stirs and winces as the pain washes over him, biting back a groan. He immediately becomes aware of someone in the room with him, their warm hand linked with his own. “What happened-” He whispers from between cracked, dry lips. “Shh, it’s okay,” Ant says softly, his eyes full of worry. “You’re safe now,” “It hurts-” Robin whimpers. Ant’s eyes soften as he slowly grabs a bottle of water and eases Robin up into a sitting position. Robin groans as his ribs were jostled but accepts the water, drinking at the cool, clear liquid as though he was a dying man. “Hey, hey, take it easy,” Ant says softly, putting the bottle away. “You’ll make yourself sick,” Robin whines again until Ant tips the bottle back against his cracked lips. He watches the shorter man take several large gulps of the water, his hand still stroking over Robin’s. Robin finally slumps back against Robin’s arm, the pain still bursting through him. “You’re okay,” Ant whispers once more. “You’re safe, he’ll pay for what he’s done,” Robin tries not to think about what that means. =============================================================================== The next few days were strange for Robin. He spent most of the time in bed, pain still threading through every vein in his body, but Ant stayed with him. Robin remembers the time in bursts - remembers Ant’s hand in his own, remembers Ant’s lips brushing against the bruises on his forehead. He’s not sure what he feels towards the man - but memories of Ant fill in his mind in the moments he’s not awake. He remembers the way Ant’s lips felt against his own, how soft his skin was, the way he told him he loved him. But after Robin’s bruises begin to fade, Ant disappears from his bedside. He assumes that Ant has business to attend to and he doesn’t question it. Ant seems to disappear from Robin’s life and the Dutchman finds himself missing him, finds himself lonely, touching for Ant’s touch. “We should do it, you know,” Ant had turned to him, with a small smile on his face. “Do what?” Robin asks. “We should run away, escape from this life,” Ant says, his voice full of confidence. “I don’t want to be the person my father wants,” “I know you don’t. But where would we go?” “Anywhere. I wouldn’t care as long as I am with you,” Ant says, his eyes locked on Robin’s. “We’ll have to see,” Robin replies, his hand finding Ant’s as it always does, like a child finding their way home once more. Ant’s fingers are warm against his own. He can’t see Antonio’s father giving up on his only child that easily but he can’t tell Ant that. A knock at the door stirs Robin from his thoughts. Daniel enters the room, looking agitated. “The boss wants to see you in his office,” He says quietly. Robin nods once and allows himself to be led to the office. Ant is sitting in his chair as always, glancing through paperwork when Robin and Daniel enter. Daniel nods once and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. “Please, sit down,” Ant says softly. Robin sinks into the chair wordlessly. “How are you feeling?” Ant asks, glancing at the shorter man. “I’ve been better. Ribs still giving me some pain but it’ll be okay,” Robin says. “Did you find him?” “Not yet,” Ant replies, coldly. “But we will find him,” “He told me something just before Daniel came in, said you were a monster,” Robin says, fiddling with his shirt sleeve. “Go on,” “He said you were hiding something from me,” Robin says, taking a deep breath. “He mentioned my father,” Ant’s face holds a expression of panic for a moment as he pushes the paperwork at one side. “I feared that you may hear of this before I could tell you the truth,” “What truth?” Robin asks, sharply. “What do I need to know? You had my father killed-” “I did not,” Ant says calmly. “Liar!” Robin says, his mouth curved into a snarl. “You took him away from us- ” “I did not kill your father, Robin. Your mother did,” Ant whispers. Robin feels like he’s been punched for a moment before the angry floods every fibre of himself. “How dare you, how dare you pin the blame on her-” “It’s true, Robin!” Ant shouts back. “I never wanted you to carry the burden so I took the hit-” “Why? Why would she kill him?” Robin asks, ignoring the tears that begin to cascade down his face. “Why would she kill the man she loved?” “Because she thought he killed my father,” Ant is still calm, strangely too calm. “What do you mean, she thought?” Robin hisses, tears blurring his vision. There’s a pause. “Because your father did not kill my father. I did,” Ant says, finally. =============================================================================== “Enter,” Ant’s father’s voice boomed out into the hallway. The fifteen year old worries his lip and dawdles outside the oak doors of his father’s office. He only ever summoned Ant to berate him. “Father,” He greets the older man politely, standing straight in front of his desk. “Antonio,” His father’s pen pauses. “I must discuss something with you that has been brought to my attention. I am sure it is nothing but vicious rumours, but I thought I would inform you,” Thoughts fly through Ant’s mind. What rumours? What could his father possibly have heard? “I have been informed of your closeness towards Robin Frijns,” His father says, calmly. “And well, I am very supportive of you keeping the boy close as one of the people who will protect you later in life. I have been informed of a troubling circumstance,” Ant does not speak. “It has come to my attention that you have been having relations with this boy. Of course, when I was told, I immediately told them that this was nonsense and-” “It’s not, father,” Ant says, looking down at his shoes. “Pardon?” His father replies, incredulously. “It’s not nonsense,” Ant says, worrying his lip. “It’s the truth. Robin and I have been seeing each other for a few years now-” The pen drops from his father’s hand and Ant glances up to see anger in his father’s eyes. “What,” He says dangerously. “Robin and I-” “Don’t you dare say that disgusting name in my presence any longer,” His father snarls, standing up from his chair. “What do you mean seeing each other? What did he do to you? Did he force himself on you-” “No, no, father. I wanted everything with him-” Ant whispers, his eyes filling with tears. “He did nothing wrong,” “Nothing wrong?” His father screams. “Nothing wrong? No son of mine likes men, how could you even be taken seriously as the heir if you’re letting men dominate you? Put their filthy hands on you-” “I don’t want to be the heir, father. I don’t want this life for myself,” Ant whimpers, feeling like he’s four years old once more. “He’s poisoned you,” His father mutters, stalking forward and grabbing Ant by his shirt. “Can’t you see what he’s done to you?” “He’s done nothing wrong. He loves me, father-” “Loves you?” His father barks, shaking him. “Who could love you? You do not have time for love, Antonio,” “Which is why I don’t want it anymore!” Ant screams, tears falling down his cheeks. “You ungrateful little-” His father begins, drawing out the gun that he always carried on his person, but Ant did not feel any fear as he faced the barrel of his gun. He thinks only of Robin, of the life he wants for himself. “How dare you,” His father roars. “After everything I did for you, you would throw it all away for some boy, Antonio-” “Just kill me if you’re going to do it,” Ant says, his eyes locking with his father’s. “If I am such a failure, why don’t you kill me?” “Because, it’s easier to kill that boy you love. If he is dead, you will become exactly what I want you to be. You will never love again-” A smile spreads over his face, it’s almost sadistic. “No-” Ant roars, surging forward at his father. “No, I won’t let you hurt him!” “Just accept your fate, Antonio!” His father says, struggling against his teenage son. He grabs Antonio and pulls him against his body, pointing the gun towards his chest. “You just need to be a good boy and listen for once,” “No, no, I don’t want this. Why would I want this life?” Ant sobs, shaking his head as he struggles against his father. “You’re so weak,” His father snarls. “So weakened by love. When will you realise that the Frijns boy doesn’t love you? He just wants to keep you close for power-” “You’re wrong! Robin loves me!” Ant says, fighting against his father’s grip, trying to push the gun away. “You know, maybe I should kill you. Kill you and use Robin as my heir. Say that you killed yourself in shame because of your love for him-” “No, no-” Ant screams, thinking about Robin’s heart blackened by his father’s hatred. “Fuck you, I’ll kill you-” “Not if I kill you first-” his father snarls as they continue to struggle. “It was nice to know you, son, but I must find my future heir, worthy of the position-” The gun fires. “I twisted my body as he fired the gun. The bullet hit him square in the chest,” Ant says quietly. “He went limp against me as I pulled away,” “You didn’t kill him though, Ant,” Robin replies, softly. “It was an accident,” Ant hesitates, takes a deep breath. “What happened next wasn’t though. He dropped the gun. I picked it up. He pleaded with me, to get help, that everything would be okay. But I could see in his eyes. He was lying. I knew. I shot him in the head and he fell to the ground-” “Ant-” Robin whispers. “Your father was the one to find us. He found my father on the floor, dead, the gun in my hand. He went sheet white and grabbed the gun from my hand. He told him to leave, told me that he’d take care of it. It wasn’t until later, I realised that he was taking the hit for me,” “My father protected you?” Robin asks, incredulous. “He said that I didn’t deserve to suffer in that way. He said that he saw you in me that night. He never asked why and I never told him,” Ant continues, brushing a hand over his face. “But your mother soon found out the fabricated story, that your father had killed mine out of jealousy,” He pauses for a moment. “She killed him to spare him the pain of been tortured by the mob for the death of the boss,” “No, my mother wouldn’t-” Robin shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, Robin,” Ant says, bowing his head. “She did it so that he wouldn’t suffer. I didn’t know until she had already taken you away and told you that I killed him so it would be easier to persuade you to leave-” “No, why would my mother do that?” “Why would I kill the man who had protected me in that moment?” Ant glances up at Robin, his eyes filled with tears. “I could never do that to you,” He says, his voice breaking. “I knew the second that I found your father what she had done. I knew I’d lost you,” “You could have escaped if you truly wanted to,” Robin says bitterly. “Not without you. Where would I go? I would have been killed,” Ant replies. “I pretended that I had killed your father as revenge, but it killed me to pretend, to think you thought of me as a monster-” Robin is silent. “Robin-” Ant begins, moving closer to the other man. “Robin, you have to understand, I needed to tell you the truth,” His hand brushes against Robin’s. Robin wrenches his hand away. “Don’t touch me,” He spits, as he runs out of the room with tears in his eyes. Ant watches him go with reddened eyes. The truth was out. But at what cost? =============================================================================== Robin tried to forget that Ant existed, tried to forget the pain that he had caused. But every time he closed his eyes, he thought about his father’s eyes as he willed his mother to shoot him. He dreamt of blood splattered walls, of his father’s lifeless eyes, of his mother’s screams. But she morphs into Ant, into 15 year old Ant having to take over his father’s mantle, of having to sit at the desk in his suit and pretend that he wanted this life. “Can I ask you a question?” Ant glances at him. “You just did,” Robin says, laughing. “I mean, another one,” Ant’s cheeks are unusually red. “What is it?” Robin asks, his eyebrow raised. “You know how we want to leave this place? Well, I know we’re only young but do you think we’ll get married-” Ant stammers out, glancing at his feet. “Is that your idea of a proposal?” “Only if you say yes,” Ant says, his cheeks still red. “You’re terrible at proposals,” Robin grins. “Okay, forget I said anything-” “I didn’t say no,” Robin cuts in, leaning in towards Ant’s lips. “So it’s a yes?” “I’d want a proper proposal next time, Tino,” Robin says, kissing the other boy. Ant had been a kid. His father had known about them, had threatened to kill them both. Ant must have been terrified, his brain supplies. He shakes his head. Antonio is a murderer, he tells himself, Antonio killed his own father and then destroyed my entire family. He fulfilled the role his father gave him. He was the one that spoke of leaving the life behind, but he had stayed in that world, had stayed exactly where his father wanted him. Robin groans and brushes a hand over his face, trying to dispel the thoughts. It hurts more than the first time, to know the boy he thought he loved had been the reason his life had changed. Ant was the reason you were able to escape. “Shut up,” He says to himself, scrubbing his hands over his eyes. He wasn’t going to let his feelings get in the way again. He was going to walk away from Ant again, this time for good. “Robin!” Daniel’s voice, high and panicked suddenly appears on the other end of the door. The door is hurriedly unlocked and Robin raises an eyebrow, pulling himself off the bed. He’s by the doorway as the door slowly swings open and Daniel comes into view, his face chalk white. However, it’s not Daniel that Robin’s eyes are drawn to, it’s the bloodied Antonio slumped against his shoulder. “We need your help,” Daniel mutters hoarsely. “You’re a nurse aren’t you?” Robin pushes away his thoughts and immediately helps Daniel guide Ant onto his bed, slowly lowering him onto the thin sheets. “What happened?” Robin says, his voice cool and clinical as he slowly rips Ant’s shirt open. There’s blood everywhere, but Robin soon finds the problem - the bullet hole is in Ant’s upper shoulder. Robin doesn’t touch the area with his bare hands, but uses a piece of the torn shirt to stem the bleeding. “Blomqvist,” Daniel says, darkly. “He tried to kill Ant, wanted to take his place. I got him back here as soon as I could. What do you need?” “Towels,” Robin says, pressing down on the wound. He can feel the bullet still wedged under the skin. “Hot water. Something to get the bullet out with and a needle and thread,” Daniel nods once and leaves the room. Robin turns back to Ant, his face white and his eyes closed. “What have you done to yourself, Tino?” Daniel returns immediately with the first aid kit and a blonde haired man brings a large bowl of hot water and some clean towels. “Thanks, babe,” Daniel says, kissing his forehead before the man leaves. He looks at Robin’s raised eyebrow. “What? Can’t you have a love life in this business?” Robin chooses not to comment, focusing on pulling on a pair of surgical gloves. “Do you need help?” Daniel asks. “Shine the penlight on the wound,” Robin says shortly, grabbing the surgical pliers - clearly this is a specialist first aid kit, of course it is - he removes the piece of shirt, wiping the blood clear from the area. Daniel shines the penlight onto Ant’s chest, watching Robin’s fingers slowly probe the sluggish area. “It’s quite close to the surface,” Robin says quietly. “Should be easy to remove and stitch him up,” “Will he be okay?” “Yes,” Robin replies. “What happened to Blomqvist?” He asks, as he slowly begins to peel back layers of the wound. Blood rushes to the surface but he pats it away with a towel. “Is he-?” “Dead,” Daniel says shortly. “He had to be taken care of. Enough to threaten you, but to threaten the boss too,” “I don’t think he would have ever stopped,” Robin says, as he begins slowly digging into the wound, still dabbing away the blood. “He seems like that kind of person,” “He was,” Daniel says, watching Robin’s steady hand. “Why are you helping him? After what he did?” “Because he is still a person,” Robin answers, grasping the bullet carefully. He pulls gently and his hand slips. He curses gently under his breath, pats the area again and goes in for a second attempt. “Because it’s not right for someone else to die because of my ignorance,” “He loves you, you know,” Daniel mutters. “Even now,” Robin stiffens, before resuming slowly pulling on the bullet. Daniel watches the slip of metal come to the surface, shining against the light. “I know,” “Do you love him?” Daniel asks, as the bullet slowly comes into view. “I-” Robin begins, before he falls silent. The bullet still shines brightly under the sheen of blood. “I want to hate him for what he did, but I know that he was just a kid. He was trying to protect me-” “He’s always been trying to protect you. When he found you, I don’t think he wanted to let you go ever again,” “I know,” Robin whispers. The bullet is still held tightly in his pliers, the skin still sticky with blood. “It’s complicated,” “Not for him,” Daniel says. “He’s never loved anyone like he loved you. Never been with anyone since,” “Why not?” Robin glances up at Daniel for a second. “Why would he forget you?” Daniel says, sighing in relief as the bullet finally leaves the wound. Robin grabs Daniel’s hand. “Press on the wound whilst I prepare the stitches,” “I wanted him to forget me, forget what we had,” Robin admits. “He never did, Robin,” Robin is silent for a moment. He wordlessly threads the needle and moves Daniel’s hand away. “Looks like a three stitch wound, this one,” He mutters to himself. Ant flinches as the needle pushes into his skin. Daniel watches the young man work, his face filled with concentration as he closes the wound with an expert hand. “Thank you,” Daniel mutters as he wipes away the last few smears of blood from the wound. Robin nods once as he grabs a towel and douses it in the hot water, beginning to clean away the blood from Ant’s pale skin. “I appreciate it,” “I didn’t do it for you,” Robin whispers, glancing down at Ant. “Still, I want to thank you,” Daniel says softly. He begins to pick up the remainders of the first aid kit. “I’ll go check if we have any painkillers, okay?” “That’s a good idea,” Robin says, watching the other man slowly tidy up the first aid kit and the bloodied towels, leaving Robin alone in the room with Ant. “You’re an idiot,” Robin whispers as he brushes the towel over the last smear. “Nice to see you too,” Ant murmurs out, his eyes slowly cracking open. “Ant-” Robin says, unable to keep the smile from curling over his mouth. “Docinho,” Ant smiles from between cracked, bloody lips. His hand moves to ghost over Robin’s face. “You - you’re here,” “You got yourself shot by Blomqvist - “ Robin says, leaning into the touch. “But he’s dead-” Ant nods once. “I’m sorry,” “For what? You didn’t kill him-” “You know what for,” Ant says, his thumb brushing against Robin’s cheek. “Tino,” Robin says softly. His hand closes over Ant’s hand as it had so many times before, but this time was different, this time there were no lies. There was danger and uncertainty, but none of that mattered in that moment as Robin leaned in and gently kissed Ant’s bloodied lips. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!