Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4162539.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Scott_McCall, Brief_mention_of_Kate_Argent/Derek_Hale
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Scott_McCall
  Additional Tags:
      BDSM, Undernegotiated_Kink, Restraining, Implied_Former_Abusive
      Relationship
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-06-19 Words: 1821
****** take my hand. ******
by katarama
Summary
     Scott may not be pack, but Scott’s arms feel like safety and comfort.
Notes
     It is Alex's birthday, and they like Scerek a lot, so I wrote them a
     thing. This takes place early on in season 3A; for the context and an
     outline, see here. Thank you to my lovely Ells for looking it over
     for me.
     Enjoy!
Derek perches on the edge of his bed, hands clenched loosely around the edge of
his mattress.  His knee bounces impatiently to calm the itchiness under his
skin; the anticipation and nerves from waiting alone make him antsy.  His skin
feels hypersensitive against the fabric of his comforter, and it clings to his
thighs every time he moves.  
He glances longingly at his neatly-folded stack of clothing on the floor, but
he doesn’t move to put them back on.  He was told to take them off for a
reason.  
There’s a reason for the waiting, too; Derek needs the time to mentally prepare
himself.  Scott seemed unsure at first, when Derek told him that he needed to
feel vulnerable before they started, but he was relieved Derek was telling him
what he needed without much prompting from him, for once, so he agreed.  He
gives Derek his space to let go of being an alpha, to be jittery and nervous
and bare.
They’ve talked about giving Derek a collar to wear, to help ease himself into
the right headspace, but the idea makes Derek skittish.  It reminds him too
much of the slurs that Kate used, eyes bright and smile too wide, when he was
too weak to defend himself.
They’re considering other options, but for now, they just give Derek alone
time.
Scott has never said much about what he does then, but Derek suspects he has
some sort of ritual, too.  He isn’t sure if it’s because he is slowly sinking
into a different mindset or because Scott is, but he can always feel a
difference in Scott’s attitude when he opens the door and walks in.  Even
barefoot and casually toting his ragged backpack along, Scott seems more
centered and solid to Derek, like he takes up more space.
Just having Scott in the room soothes Derek enough to calm his fidgeting.
Scott doesn’t make Derek wait long once he’s in the bedroom, setting his
backpack down and heading over to Derek.  Just from Scott gently running his
hand down Derek’s back and giving him a big, warm smile, Derek feels lighter.
 When Scott pulls a coil of rope out of his backpack and sets it on the bed
next to Derek, everything starts to slot into place the way he needs.
_________________
Scott and Derek don’t do this every day.  Scott suggested they do it whenever
one of them needs it, and he even initiated the first few times to encourage
Derek.  He said that with school and his mom and his werewolf responsibilities
putting so much pressure on him, he needed to feel like he was doing something
good.
Derek knew that Scott was dealing with a lot.  He also knew that Scott always
seemed to pick the times that Derek was the most stressed and overwhelmed.
 Derek wondered sometimes how long Scott had been paying attention, that he had
such a good instinct for when Derek was reaching his breaking point.
Now, he nudges Derek into asking himself.  It’s part of Scott’s plan, the one
where Derek gets comfortable enough that he actually asks for things he needs,
instead of pushing himself too much trying to go without or trying to do things
he’s uncomfortable with because he thinks it’ll make Scott happy.  Derek’s been
getting better at it, but he still sometimes pushes things off, creating
excuses for himself to delay bringing it up to Scott.  
He knows Scott would move mountains to create that time for him if he just
asked, and he knows why Scott is doing it this way.  He knows Scott will always
take what he says seriously and do his best to help Derek.  It’s still hard,
though, to face his anxiety; until Scott, he had very few sexual experiences
that were really about what he wanted.  
Luckily, Scott is a lot more patient with him than he is with himself.
_________________
The first time Derek goes under, it is an accident.  Neither of them actually
even understands what’s going on, at the time.  Derek has been a little warm
and fuzzy, before, during sex with Scott, but he figures that is just because
it feels good.  That that is how having sex with someone who cares about you is
supposed to feel.
They’re mostly undressed, both in their underwear, but Scott is having a gooey
day, all caught up in kissing him slowly and gently, like Derek is precious or
treasured.  Derek feels too raw for that sort of tenderness, though he knows
Scott means well, that Scott probably actually even believes Derek deserves to
be treated that way.  It’s frustrating, feeling like what Scott is giving him
is just short of enough, isn’t what he needs to settle his restlessness and
discomfort.
“Are you okay?” Scott asks when Derek shies away from Scott’s hand on his
cheek.  Derek can hear the concern in his voice, and it makes guilt prickle
inside his gut.  He can practically hear the gears whirring in Scott’s head as
Scott slowly backs away.  Derek doesn’t understand why he bothered in the first
place.  Scott is so good, and Derek doesn’t deserve it, and now Scott is going
to realize how fucked up he is.  He probably won’t touch him at all.  
“Do you need space today?” Scott asks kindly.  
“No,” Derek blurts immediately, because there are things he doesn’t want to do,
things he never wants to think of, but he always wants to be touched by Scott.
 Even today, he wants Scott to touch him.  “It just…” he fumbles for words and
comes up short.  He hates this, more than anything, the moments where Scott
wants to understand, tries, but Derek’s words get caught in his throat, his
tongue heavy and his head too full to string sentences together, anyway.  
“Hey,” Scott says, lifting off Derek entirely and plopping down on his side
next to him.  He grabs Derek’s hand and squeezes.  “It’s okay,” he says
soothingly.  “Take your time.”
It’s not Scott’s words, though, that reassure Derek, but the way Scott’s
smaller hands squeezing around his own eases some of the tension in his chest.
 
That gives him an idea.
“Hold me down,” Derek rushes out before he can back out.  He can’t meet Scott’s
eyes; he doesn’t want to see judgment or disgust there.  Derek knows it’s too
much.  It’s more than they’ve been doing, and definitely something they’ve
never talked about before.  
When Scott touches his cheek and gently lifts his head, Derek doesn’t flinch.
 The concern he expected was still there, but nothing else.  Scott doesn’t look
weirded out.  Scott doesn’t even look surprised.
“I’ll hold your wrists down,” he tells Derek seriously, “but you’ve gotta
promise to tell me if it’s too much.”
Derek feels so relieved he could cry.  “Yes,” he says immediately.  “Yes,
please.  I will.”
Scott smiles warmly at him.  He gets up and swings a leg over Derek, straddling
his hips.  “You’re taller, so you’re gonna have to bend your elbows,” he says,
and Derek scrambles to get his hands above his head.  Scott repositions them,
slightly, and wraps his hands around Derek’s wrists, absently stroking the
inside with one of his thumbs.
The casual affection should make Derek itchy, like before, but this time it’s
just soothing.  It’s a reminder that this is Scott, that he can ask for this
because Scott cares about him.
“Tell me if this is too much,” Scott reiterates, fixing his grip and holding
him down.  Derek knows he could easily lift his arms, if he wanted, and that
Scott isn’t tapping into any of his werewolf strength or anything.  Just the
press of Scott’s hands holding him down, though, is enough for him.  It feels
comforting in all the right ways, just a little bit restricting, making Derek
feel like he can’t do anything wrong.  He can’t hurt anyone this way.  Scott
won’t let him.
It’s perfect, Derek thinks.  “You’re good,” he says, voice scratchy.
He doesn’t know if Scott changed something or if he’s just seeing it
differently, but, this time, when Scott leans down to kiss him, he’s in awe the
way Scott presses into his mouth, kissing long and deep, like Derek’s mouth is
his.  Like Derek’s body is his, his to hold down and reshape, to take care of.
Derek feels dizzy from the way every part of Scott is pressing down on him; it
feels like being anchored after a long period of aimlessness, the rush of
belonging to someone making everything feel fuzzy and good.
He knows he’s hard; he can feel it every time Scott shifts against him.  He
knows he probably could get off just from this, if he lifted his hips and had
consistent pressure.
Scott tells him to stay still, though, so he does, letting the warmth and
pleasure build until he’s mindless with it, flushed and needy and leaking
through his underwear.  Every part of him feels good, too fuzzy and foggy to
let in any thoughts besides the words coming from Scott’s mouth, low and rough
and awed, ‘perfect for me’ and ‘beautiful’ and ‘you’re doing so good’.  
When Scott takes one of his hands off Derek’s wrists, with the quiet order to
keep it there, Derek whines, but obeys without a second thought.  He’s rewarded
with Scott’s warm hand around his dick and Scott’s voice in his ear, telling
him to go ahead, to come.
Derek doesn’t think he could’ve held it off if he tried, coming fast and hard,
covering his chest in come.  
It takes a half an hour of Scott holding him and talking soothingly to him
before he starts to feel his head clear.
_________________
Things are still a work in progress.  Scott always insists on talking
everything over thoroughly; Derek wants to pretend it’s because Scott stumbled
across way too many stories about ways things can go wrong, but he knows that
it’s really because Scott wants to be as good for Derek as he wants to be for
Scott.  He knows that Scott wants to make sure that Derek gets what he needs,
and part of that involves them actually talking things out.
They try new things a lot.  Some end up working out pretty well for them, like
the cock ring that Scott thought that he was sneaking into Derek’s bedside
dresser but Derek could smell as soon as he entered the room.  Derek likes the
physical reminder that he isn’t allowed to come, that he’s doing it for Scott.
 The pair of panties that ended up in Derek’s drawer the last time Cora sorted
laundry have been equally successful, enough that Scott is looking into getting
him a pair or two of his own.  
Neither of them wants to talk about the time they tried gagging.
But they’re figuring things out, and Derek can’t think of a time when he’s ever
felt this good.
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