Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/6559168. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Haikyuu!! Relationship: Kageyama_Tobio/Sugawara_Koushi Character: Kageyama_Tobio, Sugawara_Koushi Additional Tags: Choking, Breathplay, Fantasizing, Masturbation, Gift_Fic, Time_Skips Stats: Published: 2016-04-17 Words: 2014 ****** take a deep breath ****** by doxian Summary Suga blinks and leans forwards slightly in interest. "Tobio," he says, slowly, "are you asking me to choke you?" Notes so i heard u like kagesuga See the end of the work for more notes 1st year Kageyama goes home angry. The rest of the team had showered at school after practice, probably stopped by the meat bun place after that. Kageyama had skipped out on both in favour of getting home and getting away from them all as quickly as possible. He stinks of sweat. The stench had settled into the fabric of his volleyball uniform during the walk back, turning it damp and tacky. Once he steps into the bathroom he turns on the faucet of the tub and yanks the pieces of clothing off of himself while he waits for it to fill. Summer’s almost over. He still hasn’t gotten the hang of the new toss he’s been practicing, and he’s not sure if he’s more frustrated with himself or Hinata. It’s always Hinata, disrupting Kageyama’s rhythm and not making any sense and yet somehow managing to click with him in a visceral, instinctive way that he can’t explain. He kicks his clothes away from him across the tiled floor. He wants to be angry at Hinata for pushing him along too quickly, for thoughtlessly wresting away Kageyama’s carefully maintained control like he always does, but he can’t, not really. Not when he knows, deep down, that Hinata’s right. He might be more comfortable with a Hinata who blindly trusts in his tosses, but they'll be all the stronger if they evolve. So what's left is frustration, itchy and directionless, crawling over his skin like a colony of ants. Once the tub is full, he gets in and scrubs the day's dirt away too hard, hard enough that his skin is left raw and pink from the friction and from the nearly scalding heat of the water. He doesn't get any less angry, which in turn makes him even angrier that he can't calm down and forget about this. He wants to punch something, throw something; he wants to-- He shoves himself under the water, sending it surging over the tub's rim in waves and splashing to the floor. His feet dangle over the edge of the bath. He keeps his eyes open, the soap in the water pricking a little as he watches the white ceiling warp and ripple through the lens of the liquid surrounding him. He holds his breath. Counts to sixty. His lungs start to burn towards the two minute mark, so he sits back up. Gasps. Promptly pushes himself under again. This time he makes it to a minute and a half before letting his breath out under the water, slowly, resurfacing surrounded by bubbles. He feels better, after that. — 2nd year Kageyama can't put his finger on when his admiration and respect for Suga morphed into admiration, respect, and the compulsion to think of him while jerking himself off. There's more to it than that, of course. They're friends now. Maybe not as close as Suga is to his ex-classmates, but definitely more than Kageyama is friends with Tsukishima, who he's actually on bearable terms with now, or Yamaguchi. That Suga is a friend makes this whole thing even more embarrassing than it would be otherwise. Kageyama comforts himself with the fact that at least Suga will never find out about this. Not unless he messes up and lets it slip somehow, and he has fewer opportunities to do that now that Suga is at university. He doesn't have to witness Suga changing clothes in the club room any more or deal with how often Suga would casually touch him, far too easy and familiar. But then he's not sure Suga would have been distracting to him like this a year ago. He might have reacted differently to Suga's touches compared to everybody else's. He thinks he vaguely remembers standing a little straighter under Suga's fingertips. But it's easy to think that now; to look back and derive significance that might not have been there. It doesn't really matter, though - when Kageyama started feeling like this. Suga has always been important to him, no matter in what capacity. He's lying on his bed. He'd been idly palming himself through his boxers; now, he slides his hand under his waistband, wrapping his fingers around himself, tight almost to the point of pain. He finds himself dwelling on the quick motions of Suga's hands when he'd run through volleyball signs with him and Hinata, all that time ago. He's always liked how Suga's hands are as expressive as the rest of him. He strokes himself slowly. Precome gathers at the tip of his cock, smears and spreads across the inside of his boxers, so he shoves them down. Suddenly, he thinks of holding his breath. He's never done so in a context like this, never considered the act as anything other than calming, but it occurs to him that if it feels good when he's upset, then surely it must feel doubly good like this? So he holds his breath, maintaining his deliberately dissatisfying pace. He rubs his thumb hard over a vein running along the underside of his cock. Shudders. Seconds pass. He doesn't count them. When his lungs start to burn and he begins to feel lightheaded, he thinks about Suga's hands again, and his thoughts and senses converge and then it's Suga's hands on his neck that he's picturing, compressing his throat the mere millimeters needed to restrict his breath, and then air is rushing into his lungs as he loses his focus because he's coming, he's coming hard over his stomach, and as his heartbeat pounds in his ears the only thing he can think of is how Suga's elegant, slender fingers felt against his arm, his shoulder, anywhere he can remember Suga touching him. — 3rd year Suga is pressing kisses along Kageyama's neck, along the delicate lines of his throat, and tingles are spreading over every inch of Kageyama’s skin. They're at Suga's place, on Suga's bed. Kageyama is sitting with his back against the wall with Suga halfway in his lap. Even though they’re only kissing, there's an urgent edge that's more intense than all the previous times they've done anything else together; that has Kageyama burning hot under his clothes. It might be in the way that Suga's hand keeps brushing against his throat. Suga is cupping his cheek, occasionally moving his hand down to rub his thumb along his jaw or trace his jugular with his fingers, and Kageyama can hardly stand it. "Suga-san," Kageyama says, finally. "Do you think you could..." Once he breaks the kiss, his words die on his tongue. He isn't sure what he wants to ask. He's not used to asking anything of Suga in general. He knows, by now, that there are things Suga likes, but when it comes to himself Kageyama can't really nail down any preferences aside from that he enjoys seeing Suga enjoy himself. But Suga's eyes are trained on him attentively, and so Kageyama asks. "Put your hands around my neck?" Suga blinks and leans forwards slightly in interest. "Tobio," he says, slowly, "are you asking me to choke you?" Kageyama swallows. He has the urge to look away, but Suga doesn't sound surprised, or like he thinks the request is weird. He looks eager, his eyes bright, the beginnings of a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Sometimes Kageyama gets the feeling that Suga is trying to be gentle with him, like he's protecting Kageyama from a side of himself that, for some reason, he's deemed Kageyama too naive and inexperienced to see. There's none of that now. When Kageyama nods in answer to his question, Suga smiles like he wants to flay Kageyama open. "I can definitely do that," he says jauntily. "You'll have to show me what to do, though. I've never done this before." Kageyama shows him where best to place his hands - close under his ears where it doesn't hurt. Suga suggests that Kageyama tap his shoulder if he wants him to stop. And then Suga is shifting in his lap, moving both his hands to Kageyama's throat. Kageyama holds his breath. Suga's hands close around his neck, pressing against the sides, and Kageyama realizes, giddily, that he couldn't draw breath even if he wanted to. He tries - his lips parted, his throat working under Suga's fingers. Nothing. Suga lets go after a few seconds. "Good?" He sounds almost as breathless as Kageyama is. "Yes," Kageyama says. "Could you... again? You can take more time. I've had a lot of practice." Suga smiles, pleased, and closes his grip around Kageyama's throat again. Like Kageyama asked, he keeps his hold for longer, this time, and Kageyama feels his mind go blissfully blank. His eyes slide shut and his blood pulses - beat by beat - through his body under Suga's hands. He feels himself start to stiffen in his jeans and he brings a hand to his lap to grind the heel of his hand against himself. Suga lets go again. He looks down at Kageyama's lap. "Tobio," he says, evenly, "if you want to - touch yourself." Kageyama wants to. He swallows, undoing his fly and pushing his jeans down just enough that he can get his dick out. Suga moves his hands from where he was resting them on Kageyama's shoulders, Kageyama nods at him, and Suga presses down. Kageyama sweeps his hand up over his dick and back down. He feels Suga twitch against his thigh. Tingles skitter from the top of Kageyama's scalp, over his shoulders and all the way down his spine. He keeps struggling to breathe as he fists himself - hitching, useless sounds falling from his lips - because it highlights how he very much can't, not unless Suga lets go, and Suga doesn't look like he will anytime soon. He's looking at Kageyama intently, his lips pressed together in concentration, alternating between watching Kageyama's face to glancing down at where he's stroking himself off. Being so closely observed like this makes it feel even better, makes Kageyama jerk himself faster, but then Suga's grip is faltering and air begins to seep into Kageyama's lungs. "Suga," Kageyama chokes out. "Don't stop, please, not yet--" Suga stops grinding his hips in small, almost imperceptible circles against Kageyama's leg and makes a frustrated noise as he tries to fix his grip. Then Suga's hands are gone. Kageyama starts to protest until he feels Suga's press his palm against his face, instead, forcefully clamping a hand down over Kageyama's nose and mouth. His ability to breathe vanishes again and he squeezes his eyes shut and moans against Suga's hand, speeding up his strokes until whiteness bleeds across the insides of his eyelids and he's coming all over his clothes. He pants as he comes back to himself, pulling air into his lungs. The sweetness of being able to breathe freely again is almost dizzying. When he opens his eyes he finds Suga still looking at him, his eyes blown and his face pink. "Wow," he says. "You really liked that." "Yeah," Kageyama says, his voice a contented sigh. "I... wasn't expecting you to finish so soon," Suga says. It doesn't sound like a criticism, more like he's filing the information away for later. He pushes up Kageyama's shirt so that Kageyama will take it off. Kageyama does, balling it up and tossing it to the floor. "We'll probably have to wash that," Suga says. "As well as your pants. I can always lend you some of my clothes again." Kageyama is paying less attention to the come resting sticky on his skin and clothes, and more attention to how, although Suga isn't moving against him anymore, he's still hard against Kageyama's thigh. He tips Suga out of his lap so that he lands on his back on his bed, then kicks his jeans off before covering Suga's face in kisses, swiftly working on reducing him to the same state of undress as Kageyama. Suga laughs, and helps him along, and as he pulls Kageyama into a kiss he murmurs that maybe Kageyama can try that on him, next time. End Notes please don't actually hold your breath for an extended amount of time by yourself without anyone to spot you, it's dangerous. practice erotic asphyxiation safely, friends Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!