Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10806723.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      SKAM_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Even_Bech_Næsheim/Isak_Valtersen
  Character:
      Even_Bech_Næsheim, Isak_Valtersen
  Additional Tags:
      Underage_Sex, Mutual_Masturbation, Frottage, Phone_Sex, Underage
      Drinking, Intercrural_Sex, Isak_is_15_and_Even_is_17, Summer_Vacation,
      Alternate_Universe
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-05-03 Words: 10866
****** sweet creature (but we're still young) ******
by kittpurrson
Summary
     Isak meets seventeen-year-old Even Bech Næsheim at Tyrifjorden on his
     fifteenth birthday.
     Or: the one where Isak tries to convince the boy next door to put his
     hands on him.
Notes
     WARNING: ISAK IS FIFTEEN FOR MOST OF THIS.
     If that's not something you're comfortable with, then this isn't the
     fic for you. Please skip to the endnotes if you want more details on
     what exactly the boys do before Isak turns 16. He is only a year
     under the age of consent, but he IS definitely and undeniably
     underage. Even is not. Isak is 15, and Even is 17, and it IS an issue
     for Even.
     -
     Anyway:
     Do you remember what it was like to be 15 and want somebody so badly
     that you'd nearly do anything? How it feels to see everyone around
     you hooking up for the first time and not understand the point of it,
     until suddenly there's that moment you look at someone and think 'oh,
     shit, I could climb them like a tree?' The first time I had one of
     those moments, I was fifteen, and away with my much older friends. I
     didn't get to do my climbing. I figured Isak should get his chance
     to.
     This one is for my Twitter girls: people I can say anything to and
     get the hottest headcanons in in response. Y'all are the ultimate
     blood coven. I love you.
See the end of the work for more notes
 
1.
Isak and his family had been going to the cabin on Tyrifjorden for as long as
he could remember. When he was a kid, it was always his highlight of the year,
and even now, almost fifteen, Isak loved it. His family had known everyone in
their lakeside community forever—he’d grown up with Ida and Carl and the other
kids, really, all of them so close in age. The group had changed so little in
all the years he’d been coming that they’d become an extended family, almost,
and every year he looked forward to catching up with the familiar faces—seeing
his father finally relax with the men over beers and his mother be herself
amongst old friends.
If the community was a family, then their black sheep was the Bech Næsheims.
The family had taken over the small, westernmost cabin in the community when
Isak was seven, but had visited the lake only seldom for their first couple of
years. They constantly fought with each other and never stayed the full summer
like everybody else did.
Their son, Even, seemed caught in the middle of it, and had hardly ever come
out to swim or play with the other kids. Mats, the oldest in their little
group, always said that Even was a weirdo, and Isak was inclined to agree. The
boy was sort of intense, always wanting to sit inside and watch movies even
when the weather was beautiful. The kids had soon learned to leave the older
boy alone.
And then, the summer Isak turned twelve, Even’s family had left about a week
into the summer without a word to anybody—half their lights left on, the back
door unlocked. Carl’s dad had looked out for their boat for them, but nobody
had heard a word.
Until now.
Even Bech Næsheim was back at the lake this year with his mother, and
everything was different.
Isak’s father pulled the car in outside number 12, and Isak was surprised to
see a gangly boy leaning over the railings of number 13’s balcony, a cigarette
hung artfully between his lips. His blond hair was perfectly coiffed and
gravity defying, and even from below, Isak could see his long legs pressing
against the wooden slats.
If fourteen year old Isak Valtersen had made a list of all of the things he
found uncomfortably attractive in another boy, this one would tick off every
single thing twice, with an extra large exclamation mark.
The boy looked down and caught Isak’s eye, then drew the cigarette away from
his mouth. He smiled, showing his teeth. Isak couldn’t help it—he flushed,
looking away as quickly as he could, feeling a shock of something run through
his body.
“Who’s that?” Isak breathed, and his father glanced up, before raising his own
eyebrows.
“Don’t you recognize Even?” His mother said, before his father could answer.
“It looks like they finally decided to come back.”
“Even Bech Næsheim,” his father said, glancing up at the boy with only feigned
interest. “He got taller.”
 
 
2.
The summer always started with a barbecue by the lake for Isak’s birthday, and
this year was no exception. There was one notable difference, though. Now, for
the first time in years, Even actually showed up—Isak watched him ingratiate
himself with Carl and Mats with ease, swiftly evading Thea’s flirtatious
advances and drawing raucous laughter out of Ida.
Isak sat with Jakob on the thick picnic blanket, picking at the grass in front
of him. Jakob was talking about something or other—his first year at upper
secondary, and how he’d finally touched his first boob—but Isak was hardly
listening.
Even had his lips wrapped around a beer bottle, taking slow sips and laughing
between them. His tongue darted out to lick his lips. Isak watched him swallow
with a dumb fascination, because watching somebody drink a beer had never been
this fascinating before.
And then Even turned his head and caught Isak’s eye… and he winked.
It wasn’t even a very good wink. Even’s other eye twitched too much with it,
and it was barely noticeable enough to count, but Isak saw it. He saw it and he
felt his heart skip, which was the most ridiculous rom-com bullshit that he
usually teased Eva about, but… wow. This boy was something else.
Across the grass, Ida’s mother called for silence, and Isak looked up
expectantly as his own mother emerged with the cake. He was sure she hadn’t
made it herself, but the proud smile on her face was enough to have him smiling
back. Marianne was at her best at the cabin. Isak appreciated it.   
Even followed her progress across the grass to Isak, his mouth breaking into a
smile as he saw where she was stopping. Isak blew out the candle and snuck a
look Even’s way.
Well, at least he knew what he was wishing for this year.
-
The sun went down and the festivities continued, everybody getting toasty
around a campfire. Isak felt his whole body go rigid as Even settled down next
to him, filling the small gap between Isak and Thea with his long limbs.
“So, it’s your birthday?” he said, as his body warmed Isak’s side far more than
the fire ever could.
“Yeah, Issy’s birthday starts off the whole summer,” Thea giggled, batting her
eyelashes at Even. “You don’t remember?”
Even ignored the fluttering eyes, his whole attention on Isak.
“Issy?” he asked. He looked Isak up and down, not bothering to disguise his
gaze.
“It’s Isak,” Isak replied, hating how his voice wobbles.
“Yeah, he’s the baby of the group.” Thea’s voice was like a distant memory.
“Oh, really?” Even’s eyes lingered on Isak’s mouth, and Isak practically felt
it go dry. “And how old are you?”
“Fifteen,” Isak said, and Even’s eyebrows shot up.
He cleared his throat, leaning back away from Isak until his side felt cold.
“Well, happy birthday,” he said, before standing up again. “It was good to meet
you again.”
Isak had no idea what had just happened.
 
 
3.
Contrary to everyone’s expectations, Even didn’t keep to himself anymore. It
seemed like he was everywhere—at the communal dinners, and on the hikes through
the woods, and playing impromptu tennis without a net. Isak didn’t mind at all,
although he couldn’t for the life of him figure the boy out. He was constantly
hot and cold with Isak, smiling and giving him attention one minute and
ignoring him in favour of literally anything else the next.
Two weeks into the summer, Isak was just about used to the feeling he got when
he saw Even around. His crush wasn’t reciprocated, and that was okay. It wasn’t
like he wasn’t used to that feeling, after all.
And then came a bright and sunny afternoon that changed everything.
He’d been swimming in the cool lake water for what seemed an eternity when he
finally got bored of floating around and decided to swim back to the pontoon.
It wasn’t much to write home about—just a raft in the middle of the lake—but it
was sturdy and big enough for four, maybe five people to sunbathe on.
Isak pulled himself up onto the wooden platform, taking in Even and Mats
snoozing in the afternoon sunshine. Mats, Isak had seen dozens of times over
the years, through his transition from skinny runt to skater boy to almost-
adult. Even was a different story. Isak tried to ignore the long expanse of
Even’s pale skin, but it was difficult. So smooth and pale—the downy blonde
hairs on his arms and legs barely visible in the sunlight.
Isak forced himself to look away, instead taking in the crystal water of the
lake all around him. The sun felt warm on his wet skin, like it was caressing
his whole body. He stretched out, lazily, trying to decide whether to join the
others for a nap.
But when he looked down again, Even’s eyes were open, and trained on Isak’s
thighs.
Isak swallowed hard.
He’d had something of a growth spurt since the last time they were here, and
hadn’t thought much about it that morning, when he’d grabbed a swimsuit from
the drawer. As a result, the shorts he was wearing were shorter than he’d have
preferred—maybe a little tighter, too, since he and Jonas had started cycling
to Grefsen together, and around the neighbourhood after school. His quads had
definitely seen the benefit.
And now Even was looking.
Isak could only imagine what he saw—trembling, lily white thighs straining
against his old shorts, skin prickled into goosebumps from the cool water. Isak
had never felt younger or scrawnier than he did with Even’s eyes on him… but
there was something else, too. Something in Even’s gaze, before Even hastily
looked away, that made Isak’s cock throb in anticipation.
Even looked back at him, a strange expression on his face, and Isak panicked.
His cock could get hard at a gust of wind hitting him wrong, these days, but it
was another thing to feel himself getting it up as Even watched.
He did the only thing he could think of—turned away and dived back into the
water.
When he resurfaced, Even was looking at him with a smile.
“Are you keen for a race?” Even asked.
Isak breathed out slowly, then allowed himself to smile back. “I’m the swimming
master,” he said. “You’re going down.”
 
 
4.
The next time it happened, Isak swore to God it was an accident.
They were at Ida and Jakob’s cabin, on the easternmost edge, and they were all
completely drenched. They’d been out messing around in the woods in the late
afternoon when the rain started to come down; their joking game of football had
turned into a muddy free-for all as they ran back to Ida’s, tramping through
the garage and shedding their soiled shoes and clothes. Ida and Jakob’s parents
had gone to town to buy food, and their big cabin—the biggest on the lake—was
blissfully empty, so the gang had decided to shower there and take advantage of
Ida’s mother’s wine collection, abundantly well stocked.
With the other two showers occupied, Isak had taken it upon himself to use the
en suite in the master bedroom. His shorts were filthy, and his t-shirt
plastered to his skin. He closed the en suite door behind him and peeled his
clothes off, climbing into the shower and turning the water up as hot as he
could. Even had looked good today—like he ever didn’t—with his hair pushed back
and sweaty, and it was charming how bad he actually was at football, all legs
and no coordination. Isak felt warm all over just remembering Even’s face as he
tackled Mats, how he threw back his head and laughed when Mats jokingly pushed
him aside and deftly took the ball past him.
Isak was thinking about Even, his hand sneaking down to palm his stiffening
cock, when the bathroom door flew open.
Facing the door, with only the steam to cover his naked body, Isak froze as
Even entered the room, struggling to get his wet t-shirt over his head.
Even pulled his head free at the exact moment Isak yelped, and his eyes went
comically wide. He looked Isak up and down, taking in Isak’s hand—still closed
around his dick—before his mouth dropped open.
Isak didn’t say anything; just felt himself grow harder under Even’s gaze, the
tension between them growing and growing until, like an elastic band snapping,
Even’s expression crumpled.
“I-” he began, then his mouth shut again. Isak felt the hope welling up within
him, for a moment, but—
In a flash of limbs, Even span on his heel and got the hell out of there.
Isak didn’t let go of his cock.
 
 
5.
“Wow. You’ve had too much to drink.”
Isak was sitting on the steps of a cabin, but the world was too fuzzy to
remember which one. He didremember that the adults were drinking together at
someone’s place—barring his own mother, who had gone to bed early. The other
‘kids’ had scrimped together a truly awful concoction by mixing whatever
spirits they could find, and… okay, Isak had maybe exaggerated when he’d told
them he’d drunk before. It really wasn’t the same as beer.
“I haven’t,” he said nonetheless. Not at all belligerently. “I drink all the
time. I’m completely sober.”
He recognized Even’s footsteps even before he’d spoken, but he still felt a
rush of something as Even sat down next to him.
“Oh yeah?” The other boy’s eyes were glassy, too, but it didn’t make him look
drunk, Isak thought. Just really fucking beautiful. Especially when he smiled
like that.
“Yeah,” Isak said, trying not to let the smile suck him in.
“Okay, hold your left arm out straight,” Even said. And—was he laughing? Was he
seriously laughing at Isak right now?
“Now bring it up to touch your nose,” he continued, when Isak obeyed his
instructions.
Isak moved his finger back towards his face slowly, staring it down.
“Ouch.”
Did he really just poke himself in the eye?
Even didn’t hold back his laughter now.
“Okay, no, you’re definitely not sober. Let me take you home.”
Isak stood up and the world got blurrier.
“No!” He said, desperately willing himself not to throw up.
“No?”
Even through the haze, Isak knew that would be a terrible idea.
“My mum will kill me,” Isak whispers. “She’s really... religious.”
Even looked up to the sky for a moment, like he was cursing all the decisions
that got him here.
“Okay,” he said. “You’re coming with me.”
They made the short walk to number 13 in companionable silence. Inside, it was
dark and empty.
Isak had never been in Even’s cabin before, but he felt like he knew it
straight away. The kitchen, where Even made him down two glasses full of water,
was a mirror image of his own. Upstairs, too, the cabin’s layout was almost
identical to number 12—except that where Isak’s dad had the upstairs study to
work from, Even had a bedroom covered in movie posters, and a door leading out
to the wraparound balcony.
Even led him into the room and turned around while Isak changed into a t-shirt.
Even had given him a pair of sweatpants, too, but they were ridiculously too
long, pooling around his ankles. Isak kicked them off again, staring Even down
defiantly when he turned back around to see what Isak had done.
“You can take the bed,” Even said, shaking his head. “I’ll go take the sofa,
downstairs.”
Isak clambered into the bed with little coordination, finally turning to look
at Even once he was settled among the pillows.
Even’s expression was unreadable for a moment, but his eyes burned into Isak.
Again, Isak realized. This was the third—fourth?—time Even’s eyes on him had
felt like burning.
“Hey, Even?” he asked, as Even finally stepped away
“Yeah, Isak?”
“Why do you look at me like that?”
Even paused, his hand lingering on the light switch by the bedroom door.
“Like what?” He asked, warily. His eyes found Isak’s, and Isak’s breath caught
in his throat.
“Like that. Right now.”
“I’m not looking at you any special way, Isak.”
Isak didn’t believe that. He rolled his shoulders, stretching back into the
pillows, and watched Even’s eyes track the movement.
“You could do something about it, you know.”
“Isak.”
“You could touch me.”
“Fucking hell. No, Isak, I couldn’t,” Even said, looking horrified at the
thought. “Don’t even say that.”
The disgust on his face was real, and Isak felt a hundred times more sober just
seeing it.
What had Isak just done?
“Oh,” Isak said, deflating, and turned to face away from Even.
Even lingered for a moment, then turned out the light and walked away.
 
 
6.
For the next few days Isak nursed his hangover and tried to avoid being left
alone with Even. He felt utterly humiliated by the whole thing. Whereas before,
Even’s eyes on him had felt welcome, exciting, now they felt like hot brands of
shame. When he caught Even’s gaze, it was full of concern—and Isak didn’t want
Even to pity him.
He just wanted to forget it had ever happened.
Even didn’t seem inclined to do the same. After a few nights of the families
keeping to their own cabins, Even’s mother hosted a board game night. As usual,
it devolved into tipsy charades amongst the parents, and the ‘kids’ sneaking
off to the balcony to chill on the sofas. Isak had spent a dozen nights like
this before, doing nothing and talking about nothing, but it all felt different
in Even’s house. It was harder to escape him.
On his way back out from the bathroom, he lingered outside Even’s room, feeling
the flush of embarrassment all over again as he remembered the thing’s he had
said. How Even had shut him down.
Of course, Isak lingered too long. Even bounded into the hallway with some
illicit beers and stopped at the sight of him, leaning against the wall and
forcing Isak into making eye contact.
“You’re avoiding me,” he said, softly, and Isak couldn’t help but squirm.
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
Unfortunately, that was true. Isak didn’t feel like arguing with him.
“Okay, I’m avoiding you. So?”
“So I want to know why,” Even said, bustling into his room and setting the
beers down on the bed. Isak awkwardly shuffled into the doorway, trying his
hardest to lean against the door frame in a casual way. He couldn’t quite pull
it off the way Even did.
“Are you embarrassed about the other night?” Even continued, and Isak shook his
head.
He didn’t say anything else, and Even raised his eyebrows in disbelief.
“Isak?”
“No,” Isak said, looking at his feet. “I’m not embarrassed.” Even waited, and
Isak felt his cheeks heat up. “I just threw myself at someone who isn’t
interested, why would that be embarrassing?”
He chanced a look up, and wished he hadn’t. Even’s eyes were kind.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” Even said, and Isak shook his head.
“Don’t. It’s fine.”
“No, Isak,” Even said, more urgently now. “I shouldn’t be saying this, but…”
“Then don’t.” Isak wanted the ground to swallow him up.
“You’re fifteen, Isak,” Even said, stepping closer to him.
He reached out, like he was hesitant to even touch him, and Isak shrugged his
hand off. That was a bullshit excuse. Isak wasn’t accepting it.
“We’re only two years apart,” he said, narrowing his eyes.
“More than two,” Even says. “Nearly two and a half.”
“That’s a bullshit excuse,” Isak said out loud, this time, because it was. He
could feel his cheeks heating up in anger, his breath getting heavier.
Even was standing much closer to Isak now. So close that Isak had to tilt his
face to look at Even, could feel his warm breath.
If either of them moved an inch, they’d be kissing.
“So, what?” Isak egged him on. “You think I’m still a kid?”
Even gritted his teeth.
In one swooping move, he pulled Isak into him, crashing his mouth into Isak’s
in desperation and pressing Isak into the doorframe. Isak fisted his hands in
Even’s t-shirt and pulled him in, pulling Even as close as humanly possible.
Isak felt crazed. He’d never kissed anyone like this before—like, fuck, the
kind of kiss the made him realize what all the fuss was about. He arched into
Even as Even licked into his mouth, and then—
Even wrenched himself away, breathing hard, a despairing expression on his
face.
“I definitely don’t think of you as a kid, Isak. That’s the problem.”
 
 
7.
They weren’t avoiding each other, exactly. But a line had been crossed, and
Isak didn’t know how to step backwards. He didn’t even think he wanted to—but
he didn’t think Even felt the same. Every time Even’s eyes met his, the other
boy looked away.
Isak didn’t know what to think.
He was surprised, four weeks into summer, when Even knocked at the cabin door
after breakfast with a blinding smile for Marianne. Isak watched as Even
carried the empty plates into the kitchen, charming his mother, and couldn’t
help the surprise that came over his face when the two came back into the
dining room together.
“Even tells me you’re going into town today,” Isak’s mother said, smiling at
him. “I must have forgotten, but how nice.”
She hadn’t forgotten, Isak thought. For a moment he could have cursed Even, for
letting her think that, but—she looked happy. Whatever he’d said in there, it
had made her happy.
“Isak probably forgot,” Even said, training his eyes on Isak, and trying to
hide his own smile. His eyes sparkled with mischief, and Isak shook his head,
because he was completely screwed.
 “Probably,” Isak said, standing and stretching.
 Even smiled for real now, sauntering towards the door like he owned the place.
 “Mum has the car waiting,” he said. “You ready to go?”
 -
Even’s mother dropped them off outside the cafe with a stern look, and Even
gave her his most innocent expression until she drove away.
It wasn’t exactly town, Isak thought, looking at the small wooden building. But
he wasn’t going to mention it if Even wasn’t.
As soon as the car was out of sight, though, Even tipped his head to the side,
pointing at a small path into the woods, leading away from the cafe.
“Follow me,” he said. And Isak did.
They wound through the woodland path, not saying much to each other. They
passed a turnoff to the campground nearby, and kept going, until the trees
parted and the lake stretched out in front of them, sparkling and beautiful in
the sunlight. It was so huge and blue and still, just the slightest wake on the
surface in the morning breeze. Here, Isak couldn’t hear anything but the birds
in the trees and the occasional splash from far away.
They were completely alone.
Even pulled off his t-shirt and kicked off his loafers, piling them on the
grass, then lay down beside them. Isak tentatively followed suit, putting a
good meter or two of space between them.
“Why did you bring me here?” Isak asked, after a moment.
“We used to come out here on dad’s boat,” Even said, and it didn’t really
answer Isak’s question but he let it slide.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I used to spend hours out here. They could never get me to come in, I
always got back all wrinkled like a raisin.”
Isak smiled at that mental image, turning his head to face Even.
"It’s really… nice.”
Even didn’t look back. His eyes took in the blue sky, the trees, all around
them, and he smiled.
“Isn’t it? It just feels like you’re completely alone out here, just you and
nature. Like you could be the only person in the world.”
“That sounds lonely,” Isak commented.
 It was only then that Even turned to face him, a secretive smile bursting
across his face like a sunrise.
 “Not anymore, though. You’re here, too.”
 Isak couldn’t look away—but just as quickly as the expression came, it was
gone again.
 —
 “Shit, I forgot protection,” Even said an hour later, wiping away beads of
sweat from his brow. The morning was giving way into something hotter, already,
and Isak could see the flush on Even’s chest as they emerged from the cool lake
water to their sunning spot.
They’d been here for weeks, and Even hadn’t tanned much. For once, Isak was the
more tanned person in the scenario.
But at least he’d put on some sun cream before breakfast.
“Don’t look at me. You told me we were going into town,” Isak said lazily,
squinting over at Even as he shook himself off, settling back down on the dry
grass.
“Ah, fuck it.” Even said, “I’ll just burn, it’ll be fine.”
“You’re an idiot,” Isak said. It came out horribly fond. “Do you want to go
back?”
“No.” Even joined him on the grass. “I just wanna lie here for a bit.”
“And burn?”
“We can watch out for each other. So we don’t burn.”
Okay, then.
That sounded an awful lot like an excuse to stare, but Isak didn’t comment.
He settled down, stretching his arms out behind his head, and closed his eyes,
trying not to feel Even looking. Tried just to feel the sun beating down on his
chest, and the lake breeze rippling through his ever-longer hair… but it didn’t
work.
His eyes crept open, and Even was looking at him—his eyes sweeping down the
whole of Isak’s body again.
So, we’re playing this game again, Isak thought.
Isak didn’t flee this time when he felt himself hardening under Even’s
gaze—tamped down the embarrassment that came with another person getting a
clear impression of his boner through the thin material of his swim shorts.
Fuck being afraid, he thought. They both wanted this.
He reached down and cupped himself, closing his eyes at just the slightest
pressure.
Next to him, Even made a choking noise that has Isak’s dick jumping in his
palm.
“Fucking hell,” he said, and Isak rolled his head over to look at him. Even’s
eyes were wide, staring at Isak like he wanted to devour him.
“Fuck, Isak,” Even said. “Hey, you can’t just—”
Isak slipped his hand inside his shorts at the sound of Even saying his name.
His breath was getting faster now, he could hear his own heart beating.
“What?” Isak asked, squeezing his eyes shut as he fisted his cock once, twice.
“You don’t have to watch.”
He trailed his finger along the head of his dick, keening a little as he
smeared it with precome.
“You’re not touching me,” Isak said, his breath ragged. “So it doesn’t count.”
Even swore under his breath, and Isak heard the rustling of him slipping his
own hand into his swimsuit.
“Fifteen years old” he said out loud, and Isak could have laughed. “Jesus.”
“What were you doing at fifteen?” Isak bit back, still touching himself. “Don’t
tell me you waited to be legal.”
He’d seen the others at school come back with those looks on their faces after
parties. Heard Jonas’s panicky soliloquy on getting his dick sucked for the
first time. Isak wasn’t a baby. He knew what he wanted.
His dick knew what it wanted, aching in his hand as Isak listened to the sound
of Even tugging his own cock. Isak could feel himself getting wetter and
wetter—and it had never been like this. Never had his own hand felt this way.
“That’s,” Even paused for a moment as if to listen right back as Isak gasped,
the rhythmic slapping sounds of his hand sounding incredibly loud in the open
air. “Not the same thing.”
Isak opened his eyes again. He would have said something else, then, but his
gaze met Even’s, and he finally took in the hand moving frantically in Even’s
shorts.
Before Isak could argue back, his eyes were rolling back and he was tipping
over the edge, covering his hands, thighs, and swimsuit with his own release.
When he opened his eyes again, Even’s hands were equally white.

-
They rinsed off in the lake, and spent another hour or two lying in the grass
together—closer now—just talking. Even told him about his life in Drammen; Isak
talked about Jonas, his last year at Grefsen, his fears that they would be
separated for upper secondary. They migrated closer and closer together, until
their ankles were intertwined, and eventually Even took Isak’s hand, threading
his fingers through Isak’s and pulling it into his chest.
Isak could have stayed there forever, but the afternoon grew colder. Even’s
phone buzzed, and reality beckoned.
With sighs, they dressed themselves, leaving their little haven behind.
“Why did you bring me here, really?” Isak asked, as they made their way back up
the trail.
Even didn’t stop to think about it—just kept walking ahead of Isak, leading the
way.
“I was tired of not being alone with you,” he said, and Isak stopped in his
tracks.
Noticing the lack of footfalls behind him, Even turned around, as Isak looked
up at him and shook his head.
“Damn. You’re so fucking screwed.”


8.
As summer wore on, Isak took every chance he could to get Even alone. It wasn’t
that easy—Even had ingratiated himself into the group like he’d always been
there, and it seemed that everybody wanted him to join in on their plans: the
trips on Thea’s parents’ boat, and the treks through the woods to the same
places they’d played as kids, now hideaway spots for contraband like cigarettes
and beer.
They spent as much time as they could, in those settings, getting to know each
other, but it was hard not to touch. For that, Isak and Even had to steal their
moments—desperate kisses behind trees as they let the others walk on ahead, and
even one particularly memorable night that Isak’s family had been eating with
Ida and Jakob’s, when Even had called Isak and just listened as Isak brought
himself off in Jakob’s bathroom, the others barely 10 meters away.
Despite everything, though, Even still hadn’t touched Isak’s cock, and Isak
hadn’t touched Even’s. Isak almost couldn’t believe it—they’d kissed until Isak
came without warning, trembling in his jeans, and Even hadn’t met his eyes for
days after. A week later, though, Even had told him, voice rough, about waking
up for the first time in years to messy sheets, just rubbing off against the
bed imagining what it would be like to finally touch Isak. They hadn’t spoken
about it, but it hung in the air like a promise: someday,he would have him for
real, no more space between them.
Isak wanted the day to come sooner rather than later.
If he could, Isak would have spent all of his time alone with Even, but the
others didn’t know about them. Even and Isak agreed on that, at least—that
whatever this was, it couldn’t be shared. Some of their alone time—and some of
the best of it—they barely did anything but sip kisses from each other’s mouths
as they watched Even’s favourite films and played video games.
Isak told Even about his mother’s illness, eventually—or told him the
parts Even hadn’t already guessed. About the good days and the bad: the Bible
verses that sometimes peppered her texts to him and the days that she seemed
afraid of everything, even her own shadow. Even told Isak about his parents’
divorce, and Isak felt them settling even closer, emotionally if not
physically.
But by mid-July, Isak’s patience was wearing thin; he was desperate to be
touched. When Mats announced that some girl he’d hooked up with at the
campground had invited them to a party, Isak barely mustered up the enthusiasm
to go, resigning himself to another night of keeping Even at arm’s length and
not getting his hands on him.
Any other time, he might have thought the party was cool.
The campground was full of young people—some Isak’s age, but more already at
upper secondary, and some clearly recently-post russ, still sporting ridiculous
bus t-shirts.
Isak lost Even early on, dragged in and out of conversations by Jakob on his
quest to touch yet another boob. Isak wasn’t sure why Jakob thought having a
baby-faced wingman would help, but he wasn’t going to go and sit by himself.
It didn’t take long for Jakob to find a girl who looked interested, and Isak
soon found himself sat on a thick log talking to her her friend—a pretty enough
girl, probably no more than fifteen herself, with glasses that covered her
whole face.
She was funny, Isak would give her that, but as time wore on and she scooted
closer to him on the log, he began to feel uneasy. He cracked jokes back at her
half-heartedly, trying to seem less awkward, but it didn’t help—she giggled and
played with her hair and rested her slim fingers on his knee.
The girl—Cecilie, she said, though he promptly forgot again—didn’t seem to
notice his discomfort. As her friend and Jakob disappeared into a tent, Isak
looked around wildly, hoping to make his escape.
“Do you want to roast marshmallows?” The girl asked, and Isak could just
imagine it: her wiping melted marshmallow from her glossy lips, or wanting him
to toast her and feed her from his own stick. Even if he’d tried, he wouldn’t
have found the idea appealing, and he was about to say so.
Except, when he looked up, there Even was.
Before Isak could answer her, Even was sauntering their way, a determined
expression on his face.
“Hey,” Even said, with forced casualness. He stopped a few feet from the log so
that he towered over them, the girl at Isak’s side taking in the six feet of
gorgeous boy with a nervous laugh.
“Hey,” Isak managed, and Even looked him right in the eye.
Help, Isak tried to say with his face. Get me out of this.
Something in Even’s demeanour softened as he searched his face, took in the
girl’s hand on Isak’s leg.
“I was looking for you,” he said, after a moment of silence, then wiggled his
eyes at Isak. “Did you still want to get home for midnight?”
Isak barely looked at the girl at his side—just nodded gratefully, and pushed
up onto his feet.

-
They were barely five minutes onto the main trail when Even pulled Isak to the
side and started following a poorly-cleared dirt path.
He took Isak’s hand in his and tugged him along through the undergrowth,
finally stopping as they reached a point deep in the trees, the only light from
the moon spilling through the canopy of the trees.
“You’re killing me,” Even said as they finally stopped, pulling Isak into his
chest. He cupped Isak’s face in his hands and—as if he was starving for it—Even
fucking devoured him. His lips on Isak’s were chapped, but Isak loved it,
letting Even’s tongue part his mouth for a filthy kiss, Even biting and sucking
Isak’s tongue into his mouth until Isak had to come up for air.
“Shouldn’t have left me alone,” Isak griped, as Even’s hands dropped down to
grip him tight, arms encircling his back. “That fucking girl, what the fuck.”
“Sorry,” Even panted, and Isak stopped his mouth with more kisses, taking all
that Even would give him.
Even would stop him, he knew—and soon, probably, he thought. He could feel Even
growing hard against his leg, knew that Even must be feeling Isak’s own aching
cock pressing into his thigh.
“Fuck,” Even said, but he didn’t pull away this time.
Instead, he pulled Isak closer, sinking down onto the twig-strewn floor,
ignoring the snapping sounds beneath his knees and lying back until Isak was
half on top of him. With one hand on the back of Isak’s head, he pulled him
back in for an increasingly hot kiss…
And his other hand skimmed down Isak’s back, until it rested on his ass. It
pulled Isak down, creating delicious friction on his cock.
And that was new. Isak’s dick throbbed at the sensation, feeling Even’s dick
jump against his leg in return.
“Please,” Isak said, as soon as he realised what was happening. “Fucking hell,
Even, touch me. I wanted you to be touching me.”
“Fuck,” Even swore under his breath again, his hips stuttering up into Isak’s
as he pressed kisses to Isak’s neck. “Isak, you shouldn’t want this.”
“Does it feel like I don’t want this?” Isak gritted out, rolling his hips down
onto Even’s. He wanted nothing more than to pull their shorts down, feel the
shape of Even’s cock against his own—but he knew that might make Even stop. He
didn’t want Even to stop.
“You should want someone like her,” Even said, clenching his eyes shut as Isak
rutted against him. Isak felt his whole body trembling—or was it Even’s? He
could barely tell them apart at this point, if he was being honest. “Someone
better for you.”
“Don’t tell me what’s good for me,” Isak said, pulling Even’s face back up to
meet him in the eye. “Shut up. Just shut up.”
He smashed his lips against Even’s, hoping to God that he wasn’t coming across
as desperate as he felt. He just felt invincible, in that moment.
He hadn’t meant it literally, his shut up,but Even listened. Even said nothing
but Isak’s name as they rubbed off on each other on the dirty woodland floor.
He rolled them over to rub his shorts-clad cock deliberately over Isak’s
hipbones, his thighs, a slow torturous tease, and then finally back into the
‘V’ of his groin until their dicks met again, and Isak saw stars. Cock pulsing
against Even’s body, Isak came with a long groan, thoroughly embarrassed at his
own noises.
Even didn’t seem to care, just smoothed his sweaty hair back from his face and
kissed his cheeks over and over as Isak trembled his way through his orgasm.
His hips jerked against Isak’s sensitive body until Even finally shuddered his
way into the same, the wet rush of come making obvious marks on both of their
shorts.
In that moment, neither of them said anything.
But it was the happiest, scariest moment of Isak’s life.
 
 
9.
With only a week until the end of summer, Even and Isak were avoiding talk of
the future. The time they had together was fleeting enough—and Even, for all
that he’d taken things further in the heat of the moment, had pulled back
enough again that Isak wondered if that night by the campsite was nothing more
than a fever dream. They’d crossed a line. Isak knew that even as it was
happening.
They still kissed, now, and Even still looked, and Isak still got off… but
Even’s hands were kept to himself, and his boner was noticeably absent from the
party. Isak understood that Even felt guilty, but he still didn’t agree with
his reasoning. He didn’t want his age to ruin a perfectly good thing.
Whatever the thing was.
It was completely undefined, even now. Isak didn’t know if it was just a summer
thing, for Even, but for Isak it was definitely so much more. Maybe someone
cooler could have left it at that, a summer thing, and left it there as it was.
Just a perfect fling, resigned to history.
The night before Even was due to go back to Drammen, though, Isak couldn’t take
it anymore. It was too important to him.
They were hanging out on Even’s balcony sofas, just the two of them, while
Marianne and Terje cooked with Even’s mother downstairs. Marianne had become
Even’s biggest fan, it seemed, and Even’s mother had taken it upon herself to
celebrate the boys’ ‘unexpected friendship’ with a leaving dinner, just the two
of them.
They sat close on the chairs, but far enough apart to look innocent should
their parents suddenly join them. It drove Isak nuts as he sat there, wanting
to reach out and touch Even. Or to say something. He didn’t know what, though.
What could he say? Would Even really want to keep this up? Isak would be
fifteen for another ten months, and Even lived in a completely different city.
Feeling the desperation rise up in him, Isak could only bring himself to ask
for the firsts Even hadn’t given him.
He reached out for Even’s hand, and let Even twist their fingers together. On
impulse, he leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss to Even’s mouth.
“What are you doing?” Even asked, eyes darting around warily. “They could come
up here any minute.”
“We could go to your room,” Isak said. “We could lock your door.”
Even shook his head, and Isak kissed him again. Even’s eyes fluttered shut, and
Isak’s heart leapt in his chest.
Even kissed him back: a careful press of mouth to mouth that felt strangely
chaste after all they’d shared.
“It’s our last night,” Isak tried. “Don’t you want to?”
Even flinched, and Isak felt that desperation again. He raised Even’s hand to
his mouth, closing his lips around two of his fingers and sucking.
Even’s eyes darkened, but he gently withdrew his hand, fingertips lingering on
Isak’s bottom lip and dragging it open.
“Isak,” Even said. “Hey.”
Isak pulled back, now, trying to hide the flush on his own cheeks.
“So this is it?” Isak asked. Part of him was angry at the idea. Like that would
be it, his perfect summer would just be confined to his memories, and he’d go
back to Oslo feeling a thousand times older and braver with nothing but a dream
of a perfect connection to show for it.
Even hesitated, then kissed him once more. The taste of him—it was so familiar.
Isak wondered if he’d forget that, soon enough.
“I guess,” Even said softly, and Isak’s heart clenched. “You’ll meet someone
else soon enough.”
Isak looked at him in disbelief, and Even looked down at his hands, like even
he wasn’t convinced by what he was saying.
“Even—”
“You’ll experience all these other things,” Even said, finally. “With someone
your age. It’ll be good.”
Isak was sick of hearing that. Even didn’t get to decide who or what was good
for him. And if Isak wanted Even, and Even wanted Isak—
But maybe he didn’t. The tiny voice in the back of Isak’s head planted a first
seed of doubt. What if Even didn’t want anything more than summer? What if Even
wanted to go back to being with people his own age? People with more
experience?
Even was going to go home and meet new people and find new boys (and girls) to
look at the way he looked at Isak, wasn’t he?
Isak couldn’t say I’ll wait for you. Or wait for me.
Maybe, after all of this, Even would be the best thing that ever happened to
him. And perhaps, even, that was how Isak would see it for the rest of his
life.
But maybe Even didn’t feel that way. Maybe, despite the closeness they’d found,
and despite how overwhelmingly big Isak’s feelings for Even were… maybe, with
the passing of time he’d just be some kid Even almost fucked around with this
summer. They’d talked, before, all of the summer ‘kids,’ about texting and
calling and keeping in touch… but what did that look like for Isak and Even?
Isak was afraid of the answer to that question.
“Right,” Isak said, finding his voice. “We should go and help with dinner.”
He stood, and Even followed him as if on instinct, a look of concern covering
his face.
Without a word, he pulled Isak into his arms, letting Isak bury his face in the
crook of his neck.
I’ll miss you, Isak thought, pulling Even as close as he could.
“I’ll come and say goodbye when we leave,” Even said, into his hair.
He pulled back, looked into Isak’s eyes, and he kissed him once more, closed-
mouthed and firm.
It felt like an ending.
 

10. 
Isak and Even spent the next ten months apart.
Isak went through the first month back at Grefsen like a zombie, awakening only
when his phone buzzed with a snap from Even. They didn’t speak on the
phone—what was there to say? Isak thought—but Even liked his facebook posts,
they occasionally exchanged stupid memes on messenger. Nothing at all that
would give away the fact that they’d had several mutual orgasms.
In October, pictures showed up on Even’s facebook of him with his arm around a
pretty blonde girl. In November, Isak’s mother went through a bad patch. Isak
stopped looking at facebook, sent a fuckload of memes that went unanswered, and
no matter how hard he tried, sleep began to evade him more and more. When he
did dream, he often dreamed about Even—not even touching him, but holding him
close to say goodbye—which upset him just as much as it frustrated him.
Even had moved on. Just like Isak thought he would. Why couldn’t Isak do the
same?
It all came to a head in the new year. One Saturday morning in February, Jonas
showed up at Isak’s house and bundled him up in blankets until he felt willing
to talk, and it all came tumbling out.
“Holy shit,” Jonas finally said, when Isak was done explaining it. “Bro, I’m so
sorry.”
Isak probably should have led with the fact that he liked boys, but the truth
was his heart felt kind of broken.
“You’re not angry?” Isak asked. “About the gay thing?”
Jonas raised his thick eyebrows as high as he could. “Uh, no, Isak,” he said,
shaking his head incredulously. “But I’m angry at this guy for playing you like
that.”
Isak smiled, grateful, then sighed.
“He didn’t play me. He didn’t even really want to touch me.”
Jonas shook his head in disbelief.
“Come on. What do you mean, didn’t want to?”
“It was all me,” Isak said. He looked down at his hands, feeling his cheeks
heat up. “I kept convincing him. Like, I had to try so hard just for him to
touch me.”
Jonas stared at him for a long moment, then shook his head once more.
“Fuck, no. Let me look at this guy.”
Jonas opened Isak’s laptop, and typed Even’s name into the search bar. Nothing
came up.
“That’s... weird,” Isak said, more alert now. “Maybe he blocked me?”
“You can’t hide a whole profile from somebody,” Jonas said, frowning. “He must
have deactivated. Try his instagram?”
Isak did, and—no. Even’s instagram was gone, too.
Just like that, Even had disappeared. All his photos, all his rants about Baz
Luhrmann—it was all gone, just like that.
Isak figured it was temporary. That Even would return with some hipster pose
and a newly finished film and a dozen new pictures of the girlfriend, and the
mystery would be resolved.
But it wasn’t. The mystery remained open.
And as Isak finished his final year at Grefsen, he told himself not to think
about the summer ahead. Whether he’d see Even again. Or whether, like all the
years before—and like now—Even would stay away, an enigma that none of them
knew how to reach. He went to the same dumb teenage parties as ever, and stood
by Jonas’s side through the drama of him breaking up with Ingrid for Eva—who
Isak had secretly been rooting for, if he was honest. Isak kept his sexuality
mostly under wraps, but during the Constitution Day celebrations, found himself
getting his first ever blowjob—from a guy who claimed to be his instagram
friend—in Sara’s bathroom.
It was good, and Isak came, and there was a part of him that was thrilled when
the guy let him tug down his shorts to return the favour, clumsily tugging him
to completion.
He tried to hold onto that part. Look forwards, not behind.
 
11.
Isak’s sixteenth birthday was a sunny June day, and the families were having a
barbecue.
Isak hadn’t spent the day looking out of the window at the empty house next
door. He hadn’t spent the day checking his phone for texts, or asking Mats a
series of unsubtle questions about who was around already.
Except—who was he kidding?
The night was getting dark when a familiar blonde head finally entered Isak’s
line of sight.
Even sat beside Isak at the campfire, his gangly limbs seeming longer than Isak
had remembered, even as he was hit with the biggest rush of deja-vu.
“Hi,” Even said, and Isak echoed it back.
He’d been preparing himself for what he might say to Even. And now he had no
idea.
“Hi.
For a moment, it was silent. Then—
“I hear it’s your birthday,” Even joked, and it fell predictably flat.
“Are you gonna ask me how old I am?” Isak answered.
It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, really. Just a reminder that Isak couldn’t
help pointing out.
“As if I could forget,” Even said, softly.
Isak felt it as his heart sped up—out of anger, maybe. Isak didn’t even know,
but his fingernails bit into his palms as he clenched his fists.
What right did he have to be so soft? After he ghosted his way out of Isak’s
life?
Even hadn’t promised Isak anything. But Isak hadn’t expected it to be so easy
for Even to move on.
“I don’t know. Seems like it was pretty easy to forget for you.”
Even looked taken aback by the firmness in Isak’s tone.
“Wait, what?”
What did he mean, what?
“We didn’t think you were coming back this year.” Isak changed the subject,
watching Even’s face twist yet further in confusion.
“Well, I did...”
“Thought you might want to stay in Drammen with your girlfriend.”
Isak knew he sounded jealous, now, but he didn’t care. Ten months later—and the
feelings hadn’t gone away, for him. Fuck Even for being able to move on.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Even said, alarmed now. “I don’t—Isak, look at
me.”
“I’m looking at you.”
“Can we talk? Please?”
He tried to meet Isak’s eyes, but Isak looked away.
Out of the corner of his eye, Isak saw Even reach out, then draw back his hand,
like he was unsure of his welcome.

"How's your mum doing?" He tried. "I didn't see her with the cake this year..."
Isak shook his head. 
That tactic wasn't going to work either. Where was Even, caring about his
mother, when Isak had watched her scream and claw at her own body, feeling
helpless and alone?
"What do you want?" Isak asked, eventually. "What's this about?"
Even sighed.
“Just... Can we go into town tomorrow?” he asked, his expression pleading.
And why was this so hard?
Fuck, even thinking about that first day at their little lake spot was painful.
Isak felt the churn of sadness deep in his gut, and resented Even for it. On
his fucking birthday, of all days, Even had to make him feel like this.
But if this proved nothing else, it was that Isak still needed closure.
“Fine,” Isak said, standing up. “Tomorrow.” Even looked like he wanted to reach
out for him again, but this time he didn’t.
Isak walked away and managed not to look back.

-
The next morning, Isak found himself climbing into a wooden rowboat with two
shiny, new looking oars. He hadn’t bothered much with his appearance that
morning, still angry—just thrown on an old t-shirt and one of Jonas’s snapbacks
over his short curls.
Even, by contrast, looked perfect. Effortlessly fucking cool, like always.
Isak didn’t want to look at him.
“This is your dad’s boat?” he asked, mostly to make conversation.
Even climbed into the boat behind him, wobbling a bit, and untied the rope
holding them to the tiny dock. He pushed them away with his oar, then started
to row them backwards, the lean muscles in his slender arms clearly stronger
than they looked.
Even looked behind him to steer, barely meeting Isak’s eyes, and Isak felt his
annoyance rising.
“Yeah,” Even said once they were further out into the water. “We got it fixed.”
“When?” Isak asked. They hadn’t fixed it last summer, and they’d only just
arrived back yesterday. “Over the winter?”
“Yeah,” Even said, not meeting his eyes. “I was kind of… here, a lot. This
year.” He paused for a long moment, and Isak wondered if he was going to
continue. “I stopped going to school.”
Isak frowned.That… that wasn’t what he was expecting to hear.
“Why?”
Even pulled the oars in for a moment, settling them onto his lap to that the
boat floated on the still water, no longer cutting through.
“I’m bipolar,” he said quietly, and Isak felt a jab of fear running through him
at the expression on Even’s face. Sad. Apprehensive. Uncomfortable. The anger
Isak had been carrying with him suddenly seemed like a heavy burden.
“What does that even mean?” Isak knew nothing about it, except what he’d seen
on TV. And that didn’t seem like the best source of information.
“I was diagnosed this year, after I had a… uh. A manic episode.” Even grimaced.
“And I… I had to leave my school. I couldn’t go back after.”
As Isak sat there, quiet, Even talked and talked. About what it had been like,
to wake up after the mania and feel like everything was so completely hopeless.
About how it had felt to lose all his friends in one fell swoop, and see the
fear on his mother’s face.
By the end of his story Even looked a thousand times smaller.
When it became clear that Even wasn’t going to elaborate any further, Isak
reached for his hand.
“Why didn't you tell me all this?” Isak asked, finally. “Are you saying—were
you manic last summer? When we…?”
“No!” Even looked sick at the thought. “No, that’s not why. That had nothing to
do with it. You were just…” he broke off, shaking his head ruefully. “Shit, you
were fourteen the first day I saw you.”
“That didn’t stop you, though.”
“I felt like it should have,” Even admitted, and Isak remembered this. This was
familiar territory.
This time, though, Isak was going to ask the questions he needed to ask.
“Is that why you stopped contacting me, after? Because even before your...
episode, it was just like… you wanted to make it clear we were done.”
“It wasn’t like that” Even frowned. “I just didn’t want you waiting around for
some, like, older guy who didn’t even live in Oslo.”
“So you wanted me to be with other people?” Isak couldn’t help asking.
“Of course I didn’t!” Even said, shaking his head. He blinked slowly, then
said, soft again: “I still don’t.”
Isak recoiled at that, withdrawing his hand from Even’s. He’d forgotten he was
even holding it.
“So… Is that it?” He asked cautiously. “You want to just pick up again?”
“I just want you.” Even said it like it was simple.
Like you wanted me last year? Isak wanted to say. Now that I’m sixteen, am I
magically old enough to touch you?
He didn’t say it. He held on, like the last resort it was, to that ever
diminishing piece of anger, even as it burned out into ash and dust. Isak
didn’t want to be played with.
Even looked away, at the bottom of the boat, and back at Isak. Nervous, Isak
realised. Even was nervous.
“My mum is moving us back to Oslo after the summer is over. She wants me to
have a fresh start.”
And that was big. ‘After the summer.’ Isak felt the seed of hope within his
chest begin to bloom, the feeling making his heart speed up.
“So… it would be more than a summer thing?”
“It was always more than a summer thing,” Even said, softly. “I just had some
stuff to figure out.”
He exhaled.
"Isak..."
Isak let go of his anger. He let go of all of it, feeling his heart leap with
something joyous in his chest.
Part of him wanted to make Even sweat a while longer, but that would mean
depriving himself. He had Even here in front of him, here.
He lunged at Even, planting his mouth on his for only a second before the boat
capsized, tipping them both into the cold water of the lake.
Even underwater, they found each other, their mouths desperately fused in
homecoming.

-

“I thought about this so much,” Even gasped, as they tore off each other’s
clothes in Even’s bathroom. He pulled Isak’s wet t-shirt over his head,
fumbling with the drawstring on his own shorts. “God, those tiny shorts you
used to wear.”
“Yeah?” Isak asked, pulling his swimsuit down over his hips.
“All I could think about was fucking your thighs,” Even said, absolutely no
shame in his voice now.
Isak felt warm all over despite the chill of the lake water on his skin.
“You could do that,” he said hoarsely, and Even exhaled against his damp hair,
body shuddering.
Isak took his shorts off all the way, his dick springing up to attention.
They were both completely naked. Together. Breathing hard. Cocks straining.
“Fuck, we need to get dry,” Even said.
He released Isak to pull two fluffy towels from the rails, ignoring his
grumbling.
Isak rubbed himself down only perfunctorily until he couldn’t take it; Isak
gave up and dropped his towel to the bathroom floor, yanking Even’s out of his
hands, too.
He pressed Even into the cool tiles of the bathroom wall, reveling in the
feeling of his skin pressing up to Even’s skin.
Even snaked a hand down to wrap around Isak’s cock—finally, finally!—and Isak
bucked into him, almost laughing at his own eagerness.
“Even,” Isak said. “What you said before—”
Even sucked a bruise into the hollow of Isak’s neck, another first, and Isak
clutched at his biceps, squeezing hard, trying to keep focused.
“Before?” Even pulled back, and Isak flushed, having Even’s attention on his
face again.
“About you,” Isak said. “With my…” Even’s eyes flickered down to his lips.
“Fucking my thighs.”
“You want that?” Even asked, and Isak snaked a hand around the back of his
head, pulling him in for a slow, slick kiss. Like of course I want that, you
idiot.Like yes, I’ll die if you don’t.
“Your bed,” Isak said. “Can we—”
He didn’t have to finish the question. Even couldn’t get out of the bathroom
fast enough, dragging Isak into his bedroom and pressing him straight down into
his mattress, until the naked length of him covered Isak completely.
His skin was warming, now, and yet Isak shivered, in anticipation of what was
to come. His heart was galloping a mile a minute.
As Isak lay there on his back, Even smoothed his thighs apart, just taking Isak
in. Another familiar feeling; Isak squirmed, and Even ducked his head to plant
a sucking kiss to Isak’s inner thigh. Then another. And another.
He kissed and bit at Isak’s pale skin-gentle shocks of pressure that made Isak
want to put a hand on his cock—until Isak could feel his legs trembling, thighs
shaking under Even’s ministrations.
As Even’s mouth got higher and higher, Isak tugged him up by the chin, biting
into Even’s mouth in retaliation.
“Stop teasing me,” Isak huffed, when he pulled away. “I’m done waiting.”
Even looked chastised for just a second, until he saw Isak’s mouth twist into a
smirk.
He kissed Isak again, crawling up his body and slowly moving Isak how he wanted
him, until Isak was on his side, neck tipped back to slip his tongue into
Even’s mouth.
Even’s whole body was warm now, a brand along Isak’s back. His cock rubbed
against the cleft of Isak’s ass—and a thrill ran through him, for a second,
imagining the other firsts they might have together.
By the end of the summer, Even might be inside him.
-
For now, though, there was this:
Even slicked up his cock with lube from his bedside drawer, and slid a hand
between Isak’s thighs as they kissed. He parted Isak’s legs, and Isak’s eyes
rolled back as Even’s cock slipped along Isak’s taint, resting under Isak’s
balls.
Isak squeezed his thighs back together, experimentally, and Even pulled back
from the kiss to pant, his face buried in Isak’s neck.
“Fuck, do that,” he said. “Fuck, Isak.”
“Feels good,” Isak admitted, reaching down to squeeze the base of his cock. He
was going to come so soon—he could tell. He wanted to make this last longer,
but it was so overwhelming. Nothing had ever felt like this.
Even began to roll his hips, thrusting in the channel of Isak’s thighs, and it
lit Isak up. He couldn’t even explain it—just the intimacy of it, the slow
friction of Even’s leaking cock under his balls. It felt so dirty, so
forbidden… so much more than Isak could ever have hoped for. He felt so much
all at once, to have Even like this, not holding back from him.
“Baby,” Even stuttered out, and Isak’s eyes closed.
 A year ago, Even would never have called him that, but now, it sounded like
honey dripping from his mouth. Isak twisted his neck again to kiss him, and
pulled Even’s hand down to his neglected cock, red and aching against his
stomach.
Even took his mouth from Isak’s once more to look down at Isak’s cock in his
own hand.
The look in his eyes was almost fearful with reverence.
He began to stroke in time with his thrusts, stopping just for a second to wet
his hand again with the warm lube from his cock.
“Baby,” he said again, as Isak felt his orgasm building in his belly. Isak
wasn’t sure he would survive it, but Even seemed to be right there with him.
His thrusts were getting less rhythmic by the minute, and he could feel the
sweat pouring off Even’s temple onto his shoulder.
It should have been gross, but it wasn’t.
“Is this how you pictured it?” Isak asked, the words causing even his own cock
to throb in warning. “When I was fifteen?”
“Fuck, it killed me. Couldn’t touch you,” Even pants back. “Some things…”
He cut off, crying out as Isak’s thighs tightened involuntarily. Isak was right
there. He was going to come; he knew it. He was surprised he’d even lasted this
long.
But Even came first. Even tensed up, and Isak looked down in surprise as Even’s
cock painted his thighs, his balls, in thick spurts of come.
As Even’s hand tightened on Isak, he gave in. Isak came too, groaning low and
long as Even coaxed his orgasm out of him. It hit him like a freight train—Isak
felt devastated by it, half-crazed. His whole body was shaking… and Even, still
curled around him, wasn’t much better, his sweaty hair resting on the back of
Isak’s neck as he panted shallowly against him.
“Even,” Isak said. “Even, Even, Even.”
It was a revelation. Gone was the fifteen year old boy, shamelessly chasing
down what he wanted and having his heart ripped out in the process. Gone was
the seventeen year old boy with guilt issues keeping the person he wanted most
at arms length.
Now they were just Even and Isak. Two boys in bed together. Wrapped up in each
other.
Time passed. Isak didn’t know how much it was, but it did. Their sweat cooled
on their bodies, until Even rolled away from Isak’s back, and he grimaced the
the tacky sensation between his legs.
He couldn’t believe they were here. And he wasn’t dreaming.
“Some things are worth the wait,” Even said, finally. Isak forced himself to
roll back over, until they were eye to eye, nose to nose.
“Fuck waiting,” Isak said. “We’re done waiting.”
Even traced circles on Isak’s chest with his finger, his expression soft. Isak
sighed, and Even smiled, slow and small until his eyes crinkled.
“I really missed you,” Even said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“I kept thinking of things I wanted to tell you,” Isak said back. “I didn’t
think you’d want to hear them.”
“I’m sorry,” Even said again, sad and slow. “I read your messages so many
times…”
It’s okay, Isak wanted to say. Even though it hadn’t been.
I love you, Isak wanted to say. Even though it was too big, and too soon.
“We have time now,” Isak said instead. “This summer, and when you’re back in
Oslo…”
He remembered last year, suddenly: Even standing in the woods. How he had said
I’m tired of not being alone with you with those wary eyes: that hope and shame
and despair.
Isak had felt that way, this year. Tired of missing Even. Tired of being alone.
And now, after all the time he spent wishing Even was struggling like he was,
it doesn’t help to know Even felt that way too.
“Baby” he said, pulling Even in for a kiss. At the endearment, Even leaned in,
pressing his smiling mouth to Isak’s.
They were close, now.
Closer than Isak had ever been to anyone but Even.
“Touch me?” Isak said, now, pulling Even’s hands up to cup his face.
He leant in again, for the sweetest of kisses.
“Yes,” Even breathed into his mouth.
 
End Notes
     The following occur while Isak is 15 and Even is 17:
     - Even walks in on Isak while he is touching himself. He does not
     intend to, and leaves almost immediately.
     - Isak makes a pass at Even while intoxicated, which Even declines
     - Even kisses Isak but pulls back when Isak becomes aroused
     - Isak comes unexpectedly while kissing Even; it is not described in
     detail
     - Isak and Even masturbate next to each other in broad daylight, but
     do not touch
     - Even watches Isak masturbate
     - Even calls Isak and talks Isak into an orgasm in a friend's
     bathroom
     - Even and Isak engage in frottage after a party at which there is
     alcohol present; neither boy drinks any
     If you want more info, or to come shout about Evak with me, I'm on
     tumblr at towonderland72, and on twitter: @kittpurrson.
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