Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3962344.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Kuroshitsuji_|_Black_Butler
  Relationship:
      Sebastian_Michaelis/Ciel_Phantomhive
  Character:
      Sebastian_Michaelis, Ciel_Phantomhive
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Canon, First_Time, First_Kiss, Porn_with_Feelings, Porn_With
      Plot, Porn, Smut, Explicit_Sexual_Content, Underage_Sex, Shota, Fluff_and
      Smut, Hand_Jobs, Getting_Together, Slight_OOC, Wordcount:_1.000-5.000,
      One_Shot
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-05-18 Words: 4811
****** sin of omission ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Sitting there in the darkness, Sebastian realised that those
     feelings- the affection, loyalty and protective instinct that far
     exceeded the contract- those feelings had been there for some time.
     Whether or not Sebastian knew these feelings had existed all along,
     he had been ignoring them from the time they were born. Because
     demons were incapable of love, he thought time and time again,
     whenever he caught himself thinking of his master in ways a butler
     never should. But this time, he could not stop the desires he had
     found inside himself.
Notes
     Set directly after Sebastian's battle with Grell in S01E06, "His
     Butler, At the Funeral"
It had begun to rain again by the time they reached the house. Sebastian had
followed his master the entire way, the boy too stubborn to allow himself to be
carried. This meant a long walk for the both of them, their steps punctuated by
their echoes off of the walls bordering the narrow streets. The city was empty
this time of night, which was a blessing, Sebastian supposed. What an odd sight
the pair of them must be at the moment, drenched to the bone and covered in
blood; rather unsightly indeed.
The sky opened up just as they reached the front door, rain falling in sheets
against the already sodden ground. Sebastian watched amusedly as Ciel tried his
damndest not to shiver and shake- he failed, crossing his wiry arms over his
chest to keep in what little body heat he had left. Sebastian knew he’s be
playing nurse for the next few days- the Earl’s weak constitution and his
strong will had always been a loathsome combination.
“I’m cold,” Ciel stated as soon as they were inside.
I don’t doubt it, Sebastian thought.
“Shall I run you a warm bath, sir?”
“Yes,” Ciel replied, and started upstairs. Sebastian ran the water at a
slightly higher temperature than usual, waiting until the room had filled with
steam and the scent of bath oils before going to help Ciel undress. He pulled
his gloves off as he went; one finger at a time. After that went his jacket and
vest. Both were caked with mostly dried blood- the wound itself had of course
healed, but his once pristine white shirt was left a crimson and tattered mess.
How disgraceful. He would have to change as soon as possible.
When he entered the bedroom, he was surprised to see that Ciel was already
attempting to get undressed by himself- he struggled idly with his shoes,
barely noticing Sebastian’s presence. The demon tsked dismissively and knelt
before his charge, slowly slipping buttons through holes, tugging at strings
and pushing heavy fabric from pale and icy skin. He lowered his head to remove
Ciel’s socks, giving a clear though albeit unintended view of his shoulder. As
he finished his task, he looked up to see dim eyes staring back, delicate hands
quaking imperceptibly as they grabbed at the buttons of the ruined garment.
“Master, what are you doing?”
“The blood- it’s horrid, Sebastian. Take it off.” His voice was masked with
disgust, but Sebastian easily saw the fear behind the mark in Ciel’s eye. He’d
seen it in the alley as well.
“As you wish.” Sebastian softly batted Ciel’s hands away before smoothly
ridding himself of the last barrier between air and skin. He could hear Ciel’s
faint intake of breath as the boy caught a glimpse of the fresh but healing
scar.
“I was under the impression that demons healed instantly.” He scowled, as
though mocking Sebastian’s apparent failure. Sebastian merely shook his head.
“When the weapon is one of inhuman strength, even my powers take time to work.”
“Not much.” Ciel smirked, secretly longing to run his fingers over the places
Sebastian had suffered. For my sake.
 Merely part of the contract, Ciel reminded himself when he noted that his
heart had skipped a beat at the memory of Sebastian’s voice calling out to him
right before- upon hearing Sebastian call out for him through the darkness,
seeing the blood of his sacrifice, feelings of inexplicable depth were roused
within Ciel that he had yet to identify or understand.
“Idiot,” he heard himself say. “You’ve gone and ruined yet another expensive
suit. After the incident with Azzurro Van-”
“As always, your safety is my first priority. What kind of butler would I be if
I wasn’t willing to endure this for my master?”
After a moment of silence, it was apparent to Sebastian that Ciel was lost in
thought. He was, of course, correct. Ciel allowed himself to be bathed and
dried and dressed for bed without so much as a flicker in his far-off stare.
Ciel had begun to consider this new feeling, only to discover that it wasn’t a
new feeling at all, but rather one that he’d been experiencing on some level
for quite some time.
The idea of Sebastian belonging to him, being willing to do anything for him,
anything- it had always pleased Ciel in a way he was sure was just his pride
and love of power. To have power over a demon made him more powerful than
anyone. But Ciel had been testing the limits of his own authority- he’d been
wondering if there were certain things he could make Sebastian do that, to
Ciel, would mean something else entirely. Up until this very moment, he hadn’t
been able to put a name to it- to what made his heart beat just a little louder
in his ears when he’d heard Sebastian cry out to him earlier that night.
Ciel had always believed he’d never fall in love. For the most part, he was
correct. He wasn’t incapable of feeling it- he simply found love to be quite a
useless notion for the most part. He did love Lizzy- she was family, he cared
about her- but what he remembered of his childhood- of what love had been like-
he didn’t feel that for anyone anymore, not to the same capacity or intensity-
certainly not the kind of love he’d seen in his father’s eyes every time his
mother would smile.
Perhaps he was too empty to love anyone- he’d been burned and scraped out from
inside himself, broken and remade- but not to the same condition he was in
before- he was afraid to love, he realised now, as Sebastian buttoned his
nightshirt. He’d lost anyone and everyone he’d ever really loved- the pain of
losing such love had driven him not to love at all. To love someone would mean
facing that fear and knowing that whomever he love would never be taken from
him, would never leave him, would go to the far side of hell and back for him
without hesitation. Of course, there would only ever be one person Ciel knew
who could ever be so perfect. But to fall in love with a demon, and one’s own
butler, no less- such a taboo could never become a reality for the great and
powerful Ciel Phantomhive. Or so he thought.
Sebastian was unlike any other person Ciel had ever seen. He often wondered how
more people didn’t suspect the true nature of Sebastian’s existence. His
strength, agility, speed and intelligence exceeded that of humans- and often
the laws of nature itself. He was tied to Ciel by a truly unbreakable bond- he
could never betray, disobey, or let any kind of harm come to his master. He
lived only to fulfill Ciel’s every wish. He never performed at a level that was
anything less than immaculate. It was easy sometimes to lose sight of his true
motives.
Sebastian guarded Ciel like a lion guards its wounded prey- with every
intention of devouring it when the danger has passed. Ciel’s secret longing had
dulled his vision- it was becoming increasingly difficult to remember that
Sebastian did everything he did only for Sebastian. Where once that would not
have bothered him, Ciel found a growing sadness festering inside himself.
An unbidden thought came to him- what Sebastian said to Grell earlier that
evening- I belong to my master. My soul and my body, down to the last hair, are
his.
“Body and soul," he murmured, as the last button on his nightshirt was put in
place. He looked up and noticed that Sebastian had changed into another suit,
identical to all his others- there were candles on the night stand, glowing
brightly and warding off the cold that had permeated Ciel’s bones. Just like
that, it was as if none of it had ever happened.
“Did you mean what you said?”
“You’ll have to be more specific, master.”
“What you said to the reaper- about belonging to me. Was that true?”
“Of course, sir. I will never lie to you. I am yours and yours alone, until the
very end.” Sebastian poured everything he felt for Ciel into his words, as he
always strived to do. He could feel Ciel’s soul swell contentedly, but was, as
always, convinced that his feelings for the boy were unrequited. He pulled the
covers back, and Ciel slipped beneath them quickly, burying himself in the
warmth as Sebastian tucked him in.
“I can make you do anything I want.” It was less of a question and more the
exhausted ramblings of a thirteen year-old boy. “Stay with me until I fall
asleep.”
“Of course, my Lord.” Sebastian blew out the candles one by one and retreated
to the armchair in the corner, sitting perfectly still with his eyes trained on
the small and silent form across the room. The rain ceased a while later, and
the moon returned, its eerie light casting shadows across the bed, catching the
steady rise and fall of Ciel’s shoulders with every breath he took, finally
asleep. Even then Sebastian did not stir. He was most content like this he
realised; to watch his prey at its most vulnerable. It was the most intimate of
times between them, really, when Ciel was at his most human, and Sebastian was
truly part of the darkness.
He considered the extent of his happiness to be near Ciel. He found that the
feeling was not unlike the fondness one has for a pet, but it somehow ran
deeper than that. He had surprised himself with the depth of his attachment
earlier, when he’d nearly lost his arm to save Ciel from the deranged Madame
Red. Of course, he’d been convinced that it was only duty and obligation that
led him to act so desperately- but the memory of his own voice calling out to
his master in the moments before- the look on Ciel’s face when he'd realised
what had happened- the breath of Sebastian that passed his lips- rarely did
such small things have such a large impact on an immortal being such as
himself.
Sebastian had always believed that demons were incapable of love. For the most
part, he was correct. Demons, being depraved creatures that feed on the life
forces of lesser beings to survive, lack the one thing truly needed to love- a
soul. Of course, there were the rumours of rare cases in which demons bound by
a Faustian contract grew attached to their masters in a way that resembled
love. These stories made a certain sense to Sebastian, of course. When one is
connected to another by such a powerful bond, in which serving the other is the
reason for their very existence, developing such ‘feelings’ is a logical
progression (if ‘love’ is ever logical). But falling in love with a human- and
one’s own master, no less- such a taboo could never become a reality to the
great and powerful Sebastian Michaelis. Or so he thought.
Ciel was unlike any creature Sebastian had ever encountered- human or
otherwise. He was a child only in appearance- his soul was so much older and
infinite than his physical existence suggested. He was ruthless, intelligent
and greedy at times- his pride did border on the childish at times, but he
walked with a gait of someone who had stared into the fires of hell and
laughed. In a way, he had. He was inhumanly relentless in his pursuits, be it
the desire for revenge or his duties to the crown. Ciel was a master at playing
the advantage, and would do whatever was necessary to achieve victory.
At the same time, he was a human being with no illusions; a rare breed,
Sebastian knew. Ciel did not think himself to be anything he wasn’t- he did not
pretend for a moment that he was noble, or a hero for the lives he’d saved and
the justice he’d sought after- though some might call him one. No- he knew only
loyalty to those he served and the wish never to taste defeat. In a way,
Sebastian had always thought Ciel would make a good demon. His soul was already
so marred and intriguing, it was no wonder Sebastian felt the way he did about
Ciel.
Sitting there in the darkness, Sebastian realised that those feelings- the
affection, loyalty and protective instinct that far exceeded the contract-
those feelings had been there for some time. He wondered when he’d stopped
serving Ciel as a means to an end- he could not recall the last time he hadn’t
genuinely wanted to do whatever it was Ciel asked of him. Whether or not
Sebastian knew these feelings had existed all along, he had been ignoring them
from the time they were born. Because demons were incapable of love, he thought
time and time again, whenever he caught himself thinking of his master in ways
a butler never should. But this time, he could not stop the desires he had
found inside himself.
And so he stayed, lulled by Ciel’s presence, until there was a shift, almost an
hour before dawn. Ciel woke suddenly, without any discernible cause- no
nightmare or noise had done it. He opened his eyes but did not move, his breath
even and gaze trained on the wall in front of him.
“Do you feel?” He wondered, his words thick with sleep and something Sebastian
had only ever imagined could ever be real.
“Surprisingly, yes.” He answered the rather vague question with a much more
direct answer. “Emotions aren’t usually profitable, so demons don’t often allow
themselves to indulge in such trivial things. But demons do, in their own way,
experience the more human side of life; grief, longing, even love as well,
though that one’s quite rare-it’s such an indefinable thing, it often goes
unrecognised and unspoken.”
From his place under the covers, Ciel sighed heavily. It seemed his patience
was running out- he could barely stand himself any longer.
“So then-” he sat up, turning to face Sebastian, “would it be right to assume
that I could order you to feel something?”
“I will do what I am ordered to do I will do, despite whatever feelings I may
have.” Sebastian deflected the question easily, though he felt pulled to Ciel
more acutely than he had in months. Ciel frowned. Damn. I had so wanted to win
this little game of ours.
“You cannot lie to me Sebastian. Can I order you to feel?”
“Are you asking for a particular reason, Master?” Sebastian pushed for the
final time. Ciel caved in under the weight of the glowing red eyes that
searched his face for some sign of surrender.
“Can I orderyou to love? Can I order you to love me?”
Sebastian was there faster than a flame flickers, his hands planted on either
side of Ciel, caging him in and leaning maddeningly close.
“You will never have to.”
The words were foreign to the both of them in that moment, yet so utterly
amazing that their skin hummed with the echo of them. Ciel could scarcely
believe that Sebastian had meant what he seemed to mean- Sebastian struggled to
accept this as well. But he had meant it, he knew, as the thing called a heart
thrummed faster inside of his chest.
“You never said-” Ciel started.
“You never asked,” Sebastian cut him off.
"You lied," Ciel accused.
"Not directly. I never lie." Sebastian brought a hand up to brush the hair from
Ciel’s eyes. He ran his fingers through it for a moment, chuckling softly as
Ciel almost pouted.
"Lying by omission is still lying."
"You could have ordered me to tell the truth," Sebastian pointed out, and Ciel
frowned condescendingly.
“It’s a game, Sebastian. I had hoped you would say something first, but I could
never be sure-” Ciel found himself distracted by Sebastian’s lips- he was now
very aware of his desire to have Sebastian kiss him. Not to initiate. If he
could get Sebastian to kiss him without having to ask for it, he could still
win part of this game.
“To answer your earlier question, yes. You could have ordered me to love you,
to some degree. It would have gotten you what you wanted, so why didn’t you
take advantage of your power?”
“It would have been cheating. Cheating makes for a hollow victory, or so they
say.”
“When have you ever cared about the means used to achieve victory?” Sebastian
asked bemusedly.
 “I never have before, but this time I- you do love me, then?”
“Yes, my young lord, I suppose I do.”  Sebastian smiled, pressing a kiss to
Ciel’s forehead, both of his eyelids, and finally the corner of his mouth.
“Ciel,” Ciel breathed. Sebastian leaned away and looked at him oddly.
“I want you to call me Ciel. Say my name, Sebastian.”
“Is that an order?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow.
“A request,” Ciel clarified precociously. He reached up, sliding his small
hands over Sebastian’s shoulders and winding his fingers into Sebastian’s hair.
“I have a lot of those.”
“Well then, allow me to oblige you, Ciel.”
Sebastian surged forward and captured Ciel's lips with his own. Ciel tried to
commit every single part of the kiss to memory; the softness of Sebastian's
lips, the warmth of his body as he moved himself closer- the tenderness of his
hand as it cupped Ciel's jaw. Ciel had never given much thought to what his
first kiss would be like- he had not particularly dreaded nor anticipated this
moment- but now that he was in it, he couldn't imagine a more fitting first
kiss for himself than this one. He reveled in the feeling that had welled up in
his chest at the sound of his name on Sebastian's lips- never before had his
name been said so perfectly.
Sebastian himself was reeling at the closeness he felt to Ciel. He had won this
soul so long ago, and had admired it ever since, and now, it was as though he
could almost taste it on the boy's lips. Something in him had shifted, he knew-
he was no longer sure if he ever wanted to destroy something so beautiful. The
desire to devour Ciel had not dissipated; it had merely evolved. He now longed
to be as close as he could, to meld the two of them together in every way
possible- if it meant never taking the soul, well, perhaps he could live
without.
Almost as soon as the kiss ended, Ciel found himself flat on his back,
Sebastian hovering over him, the ends of his hair falling around their faces
like a dark curtain as Sebastian kissed him again. This kiss was its
predecessor's opposite- intense, desperate, sending a powerful jolt of
electricity through Ciel rather than a pleasant shiver. Ciel belatedly realised
that the covers had been pulled away; despite the flood of cool air that washed
over him, he only felt a heat swelling under his skin. Sebastian abruptly
pulled back, his lips ghosted over Ciel's once more; Ciel could feel hesitation
in the breath that passed between them.
"Sebastian, what's wrong?" Ciel was struck with anxiousness, the worry that he
had done something to dissuade him, but Sebastian quickly dispelled it.
"Forgive me, that was out of turn." Sebastian's voice had adopted much of its
usual business-like manner- none of the hushed openness it had held a moment
ago. However, there was still a low rasp about it that set Ciel's skin aflame.
"When you offer yourself up so freely, it becomes difficult for me to control
myself."
"Then don't," Ciel murmured, lifting his head so as to whisper right into
Sebastian's ear. "Don't control yourself."
Sebastian growled outright at this, attacking Ciel's neck with bites and sucks
that caused Ciel to gasp in the most delicious way. He pulled harder at
Sebastian's hair, leaning up into the touch with no hesitation. The sharp sting
and heat of Sebastian's mouth on his cooled skin was a foreign kind of pain
that he found he quite liked.
Sebastian reeled at the feeling of Ciel's skin beneath his mouth- even his most
vivid fantasies of how it might be fell infinitely short of the real thing. He
had stopped allowing himself to even consider hope- hope that he would ever get
to taste the skin he'd only seen and barely ever touched with his bare hands.
His imagination had become the only place where it was even right to consider
what it would be like, to have his master laid out beneath him, gasping and
shaking and begging him for more- to devour Ciel, in body, as he may some day
in soul. He could scarcely believe that his feelings and desires had been
reciprocated. It was astounding now, in retrospect, to think that it had taken
them this long to get here- it was always coming to this. Now that they were,
Sebastian knew at once that he was in danger of never getting enough of it.
It almost seems a shame to mark this perfect skin, he thought wistfully.
However, those that had killed Ciel's parents had marked him as well. They had
no power over him now. Sebastian was the one to carry that distinction.
Ciel was so distracted by the burn of Sebastian leaving marks on him that he
didn't notice at first when Sebastian reached in between them and began
unbuttoning Ciel's nightshirt. By the time he was aware of it, his collarbones
and shoulder had become covered in blemishes.
"Take yours off too," he panted, pulling Sebastian down for another kiss and
sliding his hands down to the front of Sebastian's tailcoat. Sebastian let go
of Ciel only to shrug out of his two outermost layers of clothing. Ciel
continued to kiss him as he did so, but eventually Sebastian had so sit up to
remove his shirt- the last thing between Ciel's hands and his skin.
The sight of Sebastian pulling his shirt from the waist of his trousers was
enough, in and of itself, to make Ciel shudder in anticipation- there was a
tight heat pulling low in his body, and he felt another tremor when he caught a
glimpse of Sebastian's skin under the crisp white fabric. When Sebastian took
his gloves off with his teeth, Ciel felt his stomach drop, and he suppressed a
groan. He hadn't realised how many times he'd longed to have those hands on him
like this- and Sebastian hadn't even touched him yet.
Finally, Sebastian finally began undoing buttons, revealing more and more of
himself to Ciel. Though he had removed his shirt once before, Ciel had been too
focused on his shoulder scar to really appreciate the way Sebastian's body was
built. His skin seemed luminescent in the pale moonlight that filtered through
the curtains. Everything about him was slender, but powerful- his arms and
chest were well defined with muscle- Ciel followed the sculpted line of
Sebastian's torso to the vee of his hips where skin met fabric- he licked his
lips and felt the same longing he'd had earlier- the scar on Sebastian's
shoulder had faded almost completely- but Ciel still wanted to touch it.
Ciel surprised Sebastian by pushing him back onto the enormous bed. Sebastian
allowed the change in position, leaning back on his elbows while Ciel crawled
over him, straddling his hips. He let his fingertips wander over the length of
the scar, noting the way Sebastian's breath hitched. So he does have a
weakness. He proceeded to bend over, letting his breath ghost over the line
that was somehow paler than the rest of Sebastian's body.
"Shouldn't this be gone by now?" He wondered coyly.
"It will fade with time." Sebastian's voice was quiet, almost restrained, as
though he were holding back. Ciel gave the barest press of his lips to the
scar, almost in disbelief at the softness of Sebastian's skin. He felt hands
stroke gently at the sides of his legs, raising goosebumps and making him
shiver yet again.
"What about this one?" He asked, putting two fingers to the starburst scar in
the center of Sebastian's chest, where the reaper's scythe had gone right
through Sebastian's body.
"I survived a reaping," Sebastian explained, his tone controlled but hinting at
unsteadiness. "Not an easy task, even for this demon. I might always have some
trace of it."
Ciel could somehow tell that Sebastian meant to add that he was proud to bear
such a mark in service of his master- but when Ciel placed a kiss to the scar,
all Sebastian could to was swallow thickly. His fingers dug into Ciel's thighs
and slid to Ciel's ass; Ciel startled but quickly pushed back into the touch,
reminded of his nearly aching arousal. He groaned quietly, mostly out of
frustration, and slid his mouth to Sebastian's throat. He mimicked what the
demon had done earlier, biting down hard enough that he was sure to leave a
mark. Sebastian, he was sure, had a much higher pain tolerance than that of a
human. Even so, he couldn't stop himself from squeezing Ciel's ass again,
pulling the boy's hips flush with his own for the briefest of moments.
"I seem to recall saying something about controlling yourself," Ciel rasped,
breathless and longing for more friction, more touch, more anything. "I seem to
recall telling you not to." He punctuated this by moving his hips- Sebastian's
hands gripped harder- not hard enough.
"And if you're worried about hurting me, don't be," Ciel breathed, down to his
last resort, "I've had worse."
It worked. Sebastian snapped, flipping their positions and shoving Ciel into
the mattress, wrists pinned above his head, legs spread helplessly beneath him.
Ciel sucked in a breath when his nightshirt was ripped from his body, leaving
him fully exposed to the fire in Sebastian's hungry gaze. Any cold Ciel might
have felt from the air around him was burned away by the heat rolling off of
Sebastian's body in waves. Ciel rolled his hips up to meet Sebastian'
relentless thrusts- the feeling of his cock against the comparatively rough
fabric of Sebastian's trousers was overwhelming- he felt as though he could
burst- but it was not enough.
"More- Sebastian, more," Ciel begged, clawing at Sebastian shoulders, no doubt
leaving scratch marks like wings across his back. Sebastian moved a hand from
Ciel's wrists to his own trousers, swiftly undoing them and freeing his
erection. He wrapped a hand around both Ciel's cock and his own, stroking
quickly and firmly. He moaned loudly, able to feel Ciel's pleasure as acutely
as he could feel his own. Ciel cried out and arched his back, instinctually
needing to be as close to Sebastian as he could get. He knew he couldn't last
like this much longer, and while he longed for release, there was a part of him
that didn't ever want this to end.
Ciel pulled Sebastian down for a kiss as he came- his hips bucked involuntarily
with every pull of Sebastian's hand, wet heat spilling over Sebastian's hand
and his own stomach. Sebastian climaxed not a moment after, a powerful shudder
rippling through his whole body. He felt his arms go weak, and rolled to the
side so as to avoid crushing Ciel, who was still trying to catch his breath.
Sebastian caught a glimpse of the small smile on Ciel's face and realised that
he himself was smiling as well.
"Sebastian," Ciel whispered almost timidly, his whole body feeling heavy in the
most pleasant way, "I love you."
"And I you, Ciel," Sebastian whispered. Finding that his strength was returning
to him, he rose, kissing Ciel gently before rising. Ciel stared up at the
canopy of his bed, in a state of euphoric disbelief at his luck.
When Sebastian returned a few seconds later, Ciel was hovering somewhere
between this euphoria and unconsciousness. He was only vaguely aware of a wet
towel against his skin as Sebastian cleaned him off. He was gathered into
Sebastian's arms and put back under the covers- but this time, Sebastian joined
him. Ciel rolled to face him, resting his head in the space between Sebastian's
neck and shoulder, wrapping an arm around him as if it was a long-standing
habit of his.
"I want you with me, like this, every night for as long as we are together,"
Ciel said slowly, on the verge of sleep.
"Is that an order?" Sebastian asked amusedly, slowly running his fingers up and
down the length of Ciel's spine.
"A request," Ciel responded, finally drifting off.
"As you wish," Sebastian's eyes glowed contentedly in the early morning light.
"Until the very end."
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