Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/2319059. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Free! Relationship: Matsuoka_Rin/Yamazaki_Sousuke Character: Matsuoka_Rin, Yamazaki_Sousuke Additional Tags: Consensual, First_Time, Fingering, Anal_Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Riding Stats: Published: 2014-09-17 Words: 4444 ****** physiotherapy ****** by drfeels Summary "Rin grabs their bags off the floor as the train rolls into their stop. Rin's been carrying both their swim bags since the relay at his insistence, and when they'd gotten off the bus he hadn't even let them stop at the dorms, he'd taken Sousuke straight to the train, to the doctor. Even now his face still has that same expression, the one that makes him look like he's going to cry." Set directly after regionals and Sousuke's love confession, in which he and Rin have no choice but to spend their first couple of hours as boyfriends at the hospital, only to come home to their dorm and throw themselves headlong into impatient fervor as a much-needed distraction. Notes i was so damn lost for a title so let's roll with that the creation of this fic involved a relay medley of my own, thanks team, y'all know we'd win gold. He has never been to a doctor appointment where someone's held his hand before. Rin is gripping his left hand gently, running his thumb in circles over his palm. He keeps lacing their fingers, then unlacing them, anxiously tangling them together in ever way possible while they wait for the hospital pharmacy to call his name. The diagnosis is the same as always. Acute tendonitis of the right shoulder, a relapse. The doctor had read the x-rays and called him lucky that it was stressed but not torn, just terribly inflamed. The prescription called for anti-inflammatory pills for long term, anti-inflammatory gel for short term relief. And rest, he said. Lots of rest before slow rehab. He leans back and closes his eyes and it's like falling deep asleep into a recurring nightmare. The rehab, again. The pills, again. And this time, it goes deeper. No more swimming. He's come to terms with it, but part of him still aches, the part of him that wishes fervently for time to reverse. He doesn't have a new dream yet, and tearing out the old one has been like cutting the cords that attach his heart to the inside of his ribs. Swimming again had been so good, so exhilarating. A new dream for himself might come in time but right now, at seventeen, it feels like the road he's on fades into a fog. There is nothing ahead but blankness. Rin's fingernail scratches the inside of his palm. And ah, there it is. His heart flutters, and the cyclic nightmare slowly begins to crumble on the inside of his eyelids. Rin is here. Rin is here with puffy eyes and several extra tissues shoved in his pocket and Sousuke can feel the nail Rin's been unconsciously chewing on in a fit of anxiousness scrape against the skin of his palm. Waking from a nightmare into a real dream. "Yamazaki Sousuke?" The woman from the pharmacy counter calls his name and Rin drops his hand as they walk up, pay for everything, including an extra roll of bandage to immobilize his shoulder until he can get fitted for a new brace at one of the stores in the city. Rin also throws some other things on the counter and pulls out a five thousand yen bill and pays for everything before Sousuke has time to reach for his wallet. The nice saleswoman puts everything in a small bag and Rin loops it around his wrist and grabs Sousuke's good arm--whipping his head around for a split second, as though double-checking he's grabbed the right arm--and pulls Sousuke out of the pharmacy towards the train back to Samezuka. They are lucky to be within ten minutes of its departure, and once they have their seats in the empty traincar Rin slouches over, as though all the air has been let out of him like a balloon.  He nuzzles his head against Sousuke's shoulder and sighs, deeply, before Sousuke gingerly lifts his right hand and pushes the hair out of his eyes and, in a gesture he's never been able to allow himself to do before, presses a soft kiss to Rin's forehead. Rin's eyes flutter open and he glances up, but he doesn't say anything. There seems to be that unspoken contract between them again, one that makes itself even more apparent as Rin's hand curls tighter around his and he buries his head further into the shoulder of Sousuke's swim jacket. "Are we boyfriends now?" His voice seems to come out so loud from his lips as the question rolls off. Rin groans and sits up. His expression is, surprisingly, annoyed and cranky- looking. "Why're you asking?" "I wasn't sure what you thought." Rin's expression softens, back to that almost painful face, like he's going to cry again. "Would I be holding your hand if we weren't?" He has no answer to that, really, because they both know what the obvious answer is. He finds himself pressing forward and softly pressing his lips to Rin's and Rin presses back, untangles their fingers and runs his over the soft outline of Sousuke's shoulder blades. His whole body thrums hot like he's with fever. Rin breaks their lips and travels his down, under Sousuke's jaw, the side of his neck. When he pulls back his lips shine wet with saliva and there's the soft flush of blood in his cheeks. He reaches down and pulls a water bottle out of his swim bag and takes a deep draught. He holds it out and Sousuke obliges, takes it as Rin tangles their hands together again and leans his head back to its resting spot on his shoulder. When he puts the bottle down he feels the muscle on the other side twinge and he reaches across Rin for the pharmacy bag and pulls out the small while package full of pills. "Does it hurt bad?" "It aches." He rolls his neck and Rin takes the bag from him and pulls out the medicine bottle and pops the cap. "How many?" "What's the label say?" "Take 2-3 every six hours." "Gimme three." Rin drops the small round tablets into his open palm and he throws them back in one motion and downs them with the last of the water. Rin's sifting through the rest of the bag now, a bunch of paper instructions and the tube of gel. He holds it in front of his face and squints at the label before he pulls his hand from Sousuke's and opens the box. He unscrews the cap and punctures the foil seal. "Unzip," he says. "There's nobody here anyway, and this says it works right away." Sousuke is not about to argue. In truth the ache is turning into a dull numbness of pain, like having a constant white noise playing on loop in the back of his brain. Rin's fingers are warm as they tenderly apply it in small strokes and rub it in. It smells sharp, like isopropyl. Rin finishes and wipes his fingers on his team jacket as Sousuke zips his back up and rolls his shoulder again. It feels like it might be a bit better, the ache seems duller. He's unsure how fast the 'fast-acting' part means. Rin grabs their bags off the floor as the train rolls into their stop. Rin's been carrying both their swim bags since the relay at his insistence, and when they'd gotten off the bus he hadn't even let them stop at the dorms, he'd taken Sousuke straight to the train, to the doctor. Even now his face still has that same expression, the one that makes him look like he's going to cry. When they get in the dorm it feels good to sit down and be home. The room smells the same, looks the same, feels the same. Rin drops the bag by the edge of the bed and sits next to him. He begins to unzip his jacket and drops it in a sloppy pile on the floor. Then he reaches down, pulls bandages and athletic tape from the pharmacy bag. "We should do this," he says. "The doctor said to do it right away." "Ah, yeah. If you can that'd be great." He licks his dry lips as Rin unzips his jacket and pushes it off his shoulders, helps him pull his tank top over his head. He tries to reach his arm up but can't lift his shoulder high enough and hisses. Rin's hand is there, on his back, rubbing it, and he slides the top over Sousuke's good arm and head and then down off his bad one. Sousuke doesn't bother to ask if Rin knows how to wrap it. Rin was the one staring intently as the doctor explained, hand constantly clenched around the tissues in his pocket. Rin's face had been serious, desperate even, in some ways. Since the end of the race he'd been like that. On the bus home he'd lent Sousuke his jacket as a pillow, telling the first years to quiet down a little and let him rest. His voice had been so sharp that they'd clammed up nearly instantly, though Nitori had been rather quick to assure the few sitting near him that it wasn't their fault, the Captain was on edge and couldn't help it, he was worrying about Sousuke-senpai too much. Rin's fingers are firm as he kneels behind Sousuke and wraps, smoothing out any wrinkles in the bandage fabric, leaving Sousuke's shoulder tight enough to force it stiffly in place and support it but not so tight his arm will go numb from lack of circulation. He seals off the top of it with some athletic tape, smoothes it over and over with his thumb until he seems satisfied. He head comes down, buries itself in the side of Sousuke's neck, and he just holds himself there against Sousuke's back, breathes deep, and he shudders and something feels wet and Sousuke understands. Rin is crying again, softly, fingers digging into Sousuke's hips. Sousuke turns himself, situates Rin against his front, holds him as the tears continue to roll down his cheeks in fat drops. Rin sounds like he's almost stopped breathing when he breathes out in a deep, wrenching sob and bites his lip and just whispers "Sousuke," into his chest. "Rin," he murmurs back. "Rin, Rin c'mere. Look at me." He lifts Rin's head up, looks into those puffy, watery red eyes and pushes some tears off Rin's cheek with his thumb. "Don't make that face," he says as Rin looks like he's in even more pain than Sousuke is, if that is even possible. "It's fine." "It's not fine," he sobs. "How can you even say that?" "It is fine," he insists. His voice softens and his heart breaks as he looks at the mess in front of him, of Rin, his boyfriend now. Rin, who's he's probably always loved like this, even if he'd only realized it once Rin had made himself absent from his daily life.  "It's fine because you're still here. I'm still here. And you're with me." Rin buries his head back into the flesh of Sousuke's left shoulder. "That's stupid," he mumbles into it. He takes a deep breath and nuzzles against it. "I love you." "I know." Rin wipes his eyes on the back of his hand as he raises his head and meets Sousuke's lips in a clumsy, wet kiss. His lips are soft and taste like salt from the tears. He finds himself holding Rin's head with his hands so he can kiss him more, fuller, deeper. His tongue runs along Rin's bottom lip and he feels as Rin shivers into the kiss and pulls his arms tight around Sousuke's back. They tip back onto the bed and Sousuke becomes sharply aware of the situation. He's getting hard, and so is Rin. Below him Rin is running his tongue along raw red lips and fidgeting to get comfortable. Is this too fast, he wonders. He has never really been with anyone before. He's read, daydreamed, spent probably what adds up to hours of time thinking about this kind of moment, but he's never actually been in it before. He's not sure if this is one of those times when it's important to slow everything and not be so impatient. Rin lets out an annoyed sound underneath him. "Why'd we stop?" "I was just thinking," he says softly. "Should we keep going?" "Why not?" "Ah, I guess." He runs his thumb over Rin's cheekbone, down his jawline and softly caresses his lower lip. "I was just thinking since we just got together...today, even...are we supposed to wait?" "Does it matter?" Rin snorts. "I don't care." His voice softens and so do his eyes, everything about him relaxes and melts into the bed under Sousuke as he speaks. "I just want you. Right now." He grins. Of course Rin is like this. "I guess that's enough." He leans in to give Rin another kiss and forgets about his shoulder, presses his arm into the bed to steady himself and instantly regrets the dull ache that shoots across the top of his back and causes him to visibly spasm. "Sousuke!" Rin is up in a second and his face isn't soft anymore in the same way, it's soft again like he's come down from his high and he remembers what reality is like. Reality is painful. "Maybe you're right. Maybe...maybe we should stop." "It's not a big deal." "It is a big deal," Rin hisses. "You're in pain, of course it's a big deal." "No, no, Rin...please. I want to keep going." He rolls his shoulder a little, as though to show he's not hurt, and it feels like it aches much less than on the train. Perhaps the medicine is taking effect. Rin bites his lip and concentrates his gaze on the wall. He doesn't say anything, though his hand creeps its way up Sousuke's arm and rubs at his bicep in soothing strokes. "We can keep going," he says tentatively, the words slowly falling off his lips, "but I don't want you on the top. You have to lay under me." He sits up and crawls out of the spot he's worn into the sheets, behind Sousuke. Then, very gently, he pushes against Sousuke's back and helps him lay himself down. His hands are quick, pressing Sousuke into the sheets and stroking his arms, his cheek, the vast expanse of his shoulders. They linger for a moment on the bandages, the one spot he can't feel their heat against him, until Rin brings both his arms over his head and untangles himself from his team jacket and t-shirt. Sousuke brings his hand up to rub at Rin's stomach but it's pushed away as Rin pushes off his sweatpants and underwear down to his knees and contorts himself out of them. He throws them haphazardly on the floor and Sousuke almost glances away until he suddenly, sharply understands how naked Rin is before him. He has seen Rin naked before in the showers after practice, changing in the locker room, but now is entirely different. Rin's cheeks are red and his lips are wet and raw. His skin flushes hot blotches of red down his torso, down to the soft patch of deep red hair that dusts his stomach above his slowly hardening erection. Rin pauses for a moment, as though remembering something, and he swings his leg over and crawls off Sousuke to the desk. From behind Sousuke can let his eyes linger across muscular thighs, strong back. All of it nearly hairless, no secret that Rin shaves himself, insistent it feels better. Still, when he turns back with a tube of lubricant and a handful of condoms, the sight of that pubic hair between his thighs is enough to make Sousuke's stomach drop out and his briefs tighten. There is something carnal and intimate about the glance of that in this context, something that arouses him even more than Rin's straining erection that rubs against Sousuke's stomach as he swings his leg back over Sousuke's torso and settles himself on the tops of his thighs. Rin bites his lip as he opens the lube cap with a loud click and squeezes a generous amount onto his fingers. He sets the tube in an empty spot near Sousuke's head and lifts himself up so he's kneeling. Their eyes meet and Sousuke watches, transfixed, as Rin's eyelids flutter closed and his jaw goes slack as he inserts his middle finger inside himself. The sound that escapes his lips is ungodly, a low whimper and Sousuke can feel Rin's thighs tremble against the side of his ribs. He steadies them with his hands, grips and digs his fingers in and rubs soft strokes along them with his thumb. From the way Rin's free hand moves to curl itself around his own erection, the way he knows himself as he leans forward, forcing his finger deeper, Sousuke can tell that somehow this is not the first time he has touched himself like this. A noise escapes him again, a quieter one that's just barely a breathy moan. He grinds their hips together, his against Sousuke's, and Sousuke can feel how incredibly hard he's become just from watching Rin like this, and Rin's erection leaves wet drops against his stomach. He can feel the heat of it against his skin as Rin rolls his hips against him and pushes another finger inside himself and lets out a deep, guttural sound from somewhere in the back of his throat. That is enough to make Sousuke lose his mind. He takes one of his hands from Rin's thigh and grabs blindly for the tube near his head, wets up his own fingers and gently draws them up the inside of Rin's thigh. Their eyes meet and there's a hesitance before Rin raises himself up and moves his free hand over Sousuke's, guides one of his fingers inside along Rin's own and hisses softly. He's so hot and slick in there, so tight and Sousuke wonders if he's uncomfortable until he can feel Rin contract around him and another one of those deep, raw moans escapes him. Sousuke almost thinks he could come fucking Rin on his finger just like this, but then Rin is gently grabbing his wrist and pulling their fingers out and violently tugging down Sousuke's sweatpants and boxer-briefs all at once. He doesn't even bother to take them off all the way, just brings them halfway down Sousuke's thighs so his length springs free. The scent of it hits the air, salty and deep and Rin brings his mouth down and gives it a long lick from base to tip, one that makes Sousuke shiver in his bones, before he grabs the lube and a condom. He rips the wrapper open with his teeth, clumsily rolls it on and spits the wrapper out of his mouth somewhere in the direction of the floor. He warms up another generous helping of lube between his palms and wets Sousuke's shaft with it in small strokes, runs his finger base to tip like he did with his tongue and smiles. He curls one hand around the bottom to guide it and positions himself, legs spread wide, as he slowly eases the tip in. "Rin," Sousuke breathes and his mind is blanking out as his erection slowly sinks into the tight, slick heat. The image before him only makes him harder every second, Rin's eyes closed, hand on Sousuke's stomach to steady himself. Sweat sticks strands of damp red hair to his forehead and the blush on his cheeks wraps around to the tips of his ears. He's biting his lip and small moans leak out with each push to ease Sousuke further inside. Sousuke had dreamed about many things upon realizing just how in love he was with Rin, how completely gone he was for his best friend, but this had never been something that had even crossed his mind. He feels dizzy from the heat between his legs that pulses all the way to the crown of his skull and tingles numbly at the bottoms of his feet. It almost hurts, how good it feels, how sensitive he is. When Rin finally eases him all the way in and kneels over Sousuke's stomach, his erection sliding against it, hot hands feeling their way over the grooves of his pectorals, it becomes almost impossible to breathe properly. "Rin," he breathes again and he curls his arm around Rin's neck, brings him down for a kiss, deep and full and he snakes his tongue across Rin's upper lip. Rin parts his lips and he licks in deeper with it, across those rough teeth and past them. When he gently strokes it against the roof of Rin's mouth, then down inside his cheek Rin whimpers into his mouth and his whole body quakes and his fingers dig into the sheets on either sides of Sousuke's head so hard the elastic starts to slide off the corners of the mattress. He rolls his hips up and moves himself inside Rin and Rin breaks the kiss to breathe out a heavy moan and presses his body into Sousuke's because his thighs are shaking so violently he can't hold himself up properly. He shifts his hips so hard that Sousuke feels himself nearly slip out but Rin catches and squeezes down on him at the last moment and it's nearly too much, it's so close to being far, far too much. Rin gathers himself and begins thrusting his hips slow and deep. His thighs quake but hold steady with all their muscle and power. The same legs that are a gift in the water are a gift here as well. Sousuke slowly begins to roll his hips in time and brings his hands down, grips tight on Rin's ass, digs in the pads of his fingers to hold himself as deep as possible inside with each new thrust. His fingers begin to slip and he digs his nails in, too, and Rin tenses at that around him. The thrusting begins to get out of rhythm, faster and more erratic until Rin can't hold himself anymore and it's just Sousuke pumping his hips, holding Rin against him. Rin's moans become heavier and his breathing spins out of control as his face tenses. "Coming," he breathes. "Sousuke, I'm coming, I'm coming." And at that Sousuke can't help but lift his hips off the bed harder, deeper, as Rin cries and shakes and he comes with fervor, smashing his lips to Sousuke's. His moans drown out against Sousuke's tongue and teeth and Sousuke can't hear them but he can feel them in his veins and Rin clenches around him and he comes too, hard and fast and everything becomes sweet and heavy and a deep moan rips from the back of his throat. When he comes down he realize it's Rin's name, he's moaning Rin's name so loud half the dorm can probably hear but he's too tired and spent and euphoric all at once. He can't bring himself to care about anything right now except Rin, who's collapsed on top of his chest, Sousuke's softening length slipping out of him. He brings down a hand to ease himself out of the rest of the way and Rin lets out a deep sigh when he's finally done. He doesn't move, just lays there atop him, face buried against Sousuke's neck. Rin's hand idles up to his bandaged shoulder and he strokes it. "How does it feel?" "It doesn't hurt right now, if that's what you're asking?" "So that wasn't too rough?" He grins. "No, but it would've been fine even if it was." For a moment it's quiet and Sousuke can hear his racing pulse still pounding in his ears when Rin sits up and pokes him in the chest. "You can't say stuff like that." He's nothing but dead serious. Even his face, flushed and covered in sweat, is crinkled in an expression that's both angry but at the same time looks like the one he has when he's about to cry again. "Even if you can't swim competitive anymore, you have to get better. You have to. Even if we can't swim on the same stage, Sousuke...I just want to be by your side in the water, at least once. You're not allowed to never swim with me again." He takes a deep breath and lets it out, slowly, as though he's trying to keep himself from falling apart. "I want you to stay with me." "I will." It's not even something he has to take time to think about, the words just roll off his tongue naturally. "Always, Rin." He pulls him tight to his chest, holds him there and runs his fingers though the strands of hair at the nape of Rin's neck, presses a kiss to his temple, his forehead, the tip of his nose, corner of his jaw. He comes to the slow realization that this was only their first time, the first of many, but it feels like forever, like things have always been this way. In his life there has always only been before Rin and after Rin, and this is no different. The pain, the loneliness, the desperation of trying to catch up only to fall short--he no longer has any regret, he has come to terms with them. He can't regret any of it, because all of it has led him to this moment, and he would not alter the past or any of it if it meant having to give up this moment. Rin stumbles off him and grabs tissues and cleans them up, wipes his cum off Sousuke's stomach and unrolls the condom, ties it in a neat knot and tosses everything into the wastebin in a ball before he disappears into the bathroom. Sousuke rolls over, pulls his sweatpants back up to their proper position over his hipbones. He attempts to straighten the sheets out and is pleasantly surprised to find his shoulder is more easily mobile and a lot less painful to use. Rin emerges from the shower just as he's flattening out the topsheet, the towel around his waist hits the floor as he presses himself against Sousuke's back and nuzzles him, then pulls away to pull a clean pair of sweatpants and some briefs from his dresser. He winces visibly when he bends to step into them and he collapses on the bed and rolls over. "Does it hurt?" Rin snorts. "A little. Guess even though I've tried stuff up there before I didn't prepare right for how big you were." "Thank you," he laughs, and shuts off the lights with a soft click. He presses a kiss behind Rin's ear as he lays down, situating himself so Rin's back presses neatly against his chest, and pulls the blanket over them. "Oi, that wasn't a compliment." "I'll still take it." Rin's arm reaches out in the darkness and he fumbles until he finds Sousuke's hand and tangles their fingers together. Sousuke has lost count of how many times he's done that today, but it feels good, it feels safe to have Rin pressed up against him, hands entwined, his hot breaths ghosting over the curve of Rin's neck. He has never fallen asleep while holding someone's hand before, but he's glad that Rin is the first. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!