Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/930105. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Homestuck Relationship: Bro/Dave_Strider Character: Bro_(Homestuck), Dave_Strider Additional Tags: Sibling_Incest, Guilt, Underage_Sex Stats: Published: 2013-08-17 Words: 1903 ****** losing my grip in the grey ****** by orphan_account Summary you lower your sword from dave's throat, offering him a gloved hand. he takes it. Notes See the end of the work for notes You lower your sword from Dave's throat, offering him a gloved hand. He takes it. It was a rough strife, and both of you were pretty beat up- Dave, of course, being in much worse condition. You feel a little guilty, admitting that you might have gone a little too far. You help him to his feet, and head down the stairs with him, both of you silent during the tread to your apartment.   You take a closer look at him once you're there, Dave sprawled on your futon, and you wince internally at some of the larger cuts, grabbing a first aid kit and bandaging them up for him, a wordless apology. Dave's lips quirk upwards gently, and you know he gets it.  You two don't talk as much as you think normal siblings should, but you two have never been normal to start with, you suppose, wrapping the last of the wounds with gauze and stroking a hand over Dave's cheek. He leans into the touch, turning to press a kiss to your fingers, and sighs softly.  You two don't talk about whatever this is, either.  Honestly, you think maybe it's easier this way, you muse as you lean down to press a soft kiss to Dave's lips, setting aside your cap and your shades to prevent them from getting in the way- Dave does the same, blushing a little as he takes them off before leaning back up to sigh contentedly against your lips again.  You think he breathes out "Bro," feather soft and quiet, and isn't that just the most ugly thing you've ever heard? Something inside you twists, the flashes of guilt that eat away at you so often- but you push it away, because Dave's giving you that sad look that means he knows what you're thinking, and he envelops your lips in another kiss, swiping his tongue over yours questioningly. You let him in, tongue rasping over his, and he lets out a groan that goes straight to your crotch.   Pressing butterfly kisses down his jaw softly, he raises a trembling hand to your cheek and you close your eyes, sucking softly at his neck- not hard enough to bruise, of course (haven't you already given him enough?). You open your eyes and his eyes are dark and full of intent, and you pull him onto your lap gently.  "I love you."   Shit. Because now that he's said it, you can't just avoid the topic like usual, and you close your eyes and lean into his neck, breathing his strangely familiar smoke-and-metal scent in before answering guiltily.  "You shouldn't." You expect hurt to flash across his features, but it doesn't. Instead, he looks thoughtful.  "That wasn't a denial, was it." It's not phrased as a question, but as a statement, and you find yourself unable to lie- not to him, because you've never been able to deny him anything.  "You know I love you more than anything," you reply, running a hand through his hair and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. His eyes light up, freckles accentuated by his blush, and in the light he looks beautiful. He smiles at you like he knows what you're thinking, before going in for another kiss, and this time it's heavier, mouths falling open in something much less innocent. This feels different than the other times, more charged and raw, and it makes the blood in your veins thrum a little harder. Dave grinds down on your lap and you make a low sound in your throat, because he's already hard and damn, where did he learn to do that?  "I want you," he tells you, and you know that he's not talking about the frantic half-assed handjobs anymore- and that should scare you, and it does, but it almost sickens you how much you want it, how much you want him, how much you want. Dave sees something in your expression, because he cards a hand through your hair and presses his forehead to yours.  "Please," he says, like he's afraid you'll renege at any second, like his words would be enough to dissuade you from leaving. (You suppose that they are, in hindsight.) "D-Dirk," he murmurs, and a tremble runs through your whole body, because o-oh, that's different. "I trust you," he says, and inwardly your conscience is chanting a chorus of "no no no no no" because he shouldn't, shouldn't trust you at all- your eyes dart to his injuries before you steady yourself with a deep breath. "I trust you," he say again, and his eyes have the same glow to them that it does when he picks up his sword, and something in your chest snaps, and you nod mutely.  His shirt's already off from dressing the bruises peppering his side, and you tug off your own, leaning down to press kisses to each of the dark splotches, something heavy settling in your stomach at the sight of them. Deciding not to dwell on it, you press closer and kiss him again, deep and dirty but being sure to be soft, because this is Dave, and you know he won't break under your touch but you don't ever want him to hurt anyways.  Maybe that's what this ache is, settling beneath your ribs as you slide a hand down his neck, feeling his pulse quicken and flutter under your touch. Kissing him again lightly, you start to unbutton his pants, and you tug them straight off along with his boxers, quickly doing the same with your own. Tugging Dave onto your lap again, you shudder a little as he rakes his gaze over your body adoringly, like he thinks you're a deity- and to him, aren't you? You raised him (and there's that voice again in the back of your mind, the one part of you that isn't depraved enough to go through with this)- but when he presses a kiss to your lips of his own accord, rutting up against you with a groan, any and all second thoughts disappear.  Fuck, he's beautiful. Lips red and looking vaguely used, hair mussed and face bright red- he looks utterly debauched, and judging by his reaction, you assume you look something similar. He licks his lips, looking down at your erection- and fuck, when did that happen? You pull him closer to you, turning him around so that his back is touching your chest, and tear open a packet of lube that you grab from the mess on your makeshift nightstand. You take off your gloves reluctantly, and Dave's eyes betray his surprise before he relaxes, leaning back before you and spreading his legs. You coat two of your fingers with as much lube as possible- you won't hurt him, not during this, you swear.  Rubbing some of the lube around his hole, you tease the puckered opening, determined to prepare him as readily as possible, barely pressing in your fingertip. He shudders a little in your arms, pushing back against your hand, and for a split second you close your eyes, because there's no going back after this. You slowly push in your index finger, completely covered in lube, and Dave lets out a soft whine, dick twitching minutely. You move it around slowly, getting him used to the intrusion, before starting to press in your second finger, and he groans, fluttering around your fingers- and fuck, the heat and the tightness are going straight to your dick, but that's what makes you pause unnoticeably, because Dave is so, so, tight, and you wonder if this is going to be his first time. You breathe deeply and push it out of your mind for now, because Dave asked for it, he wanted it, right? He pushes back against your fingers and you press a kiss to the inside of his neck, murmuring meaningless encouragement in his ear as you twist and scissor your fingers inside of him, hitting the small bump in the back.  Dave's back arches against you, and he keens, pressing down on your fingers desperately, breaths coming out in gasps. "I'm good," he pants, and you grab the packet of lube again, slipping your fingers out of him to coat your dick thoroughly. You wince a little, because no matter how much you try to prepare him, you know it'll still burn, and you press a light kiss to the side of his jaw before aligning your bodies. He sinks down slowly, supported by your arms, and you can feel his entire body trembling from inside him- and that thought sends arousal racing through you, holding him just a little bit tighter.  You let out a long groan, struggling to keep your hips still in the tightness surrounding your cock, and you try to find words. "A-Are you doing okay?" You cringe at the stutter but he doesn't seem to notice, leaning into you and panting hard, heart racing under your fingertips. "Y-yeah, just- hahh, move- " His words are a little choked, and you reach in front to grab his penis, encircling it firmly in your fist and stroking it a few times. He all but collapses into you, a litany of curses and noises falling from his mouth that would make porn stars jealous.  "F-fuck, Bro, move already..." His voice trails off into a whine as you comply, pressing kisses to any skin you can reach as you start to move as gently as possible, trying to find the right angle. When he chokes on a sob of your name, toes curling into the futon, you think you've found it, repeating the motion slightly harder, and he falls apart like putty in your hands, a shuddering mess of words and phrases that you're not sure you really want to listen to.  You set a slow pace, scared to hurt Dave, and you pump your hand a few times softly, kissing gently over a small cut on his neck, and he gets the message, turning his head towards you. "You have nothing to be, nngh. t-to be sorry for," he assures you, and you kiss him again and again and again because there are so many things that you're sorry for, and you can't possibly apologize for them all. Instead, you start to speed up your rhythm, feeling his walls flutter around you with every well aimed thrust, and god, you want this, want to make Dave feel good and loved, to make him fall apart.  You stroke him quicker and quicker, snapping your hips up to meet his inexperienced grinding, and before you know it Dave muffles a scream in your chest, coming in thin spurts onto his stomach, and he tightens around you so hard that you piston up once, twice, and then you're gone too, over the edge with a loud moan of his name. When you recover, Dave is sprawled on your stomach, still impaled on your quickly softening dick, and you pull out, eliciting a soft groan. "B-bro..." he sighs, and you grab a nearby t-shirt to wipe you two off before tossing it into the laundry, never even bothering to get up. Dave looks up at you with a strange gaze, a mix of admiration, happiness, satisfaction, and something else- "I love you," he says again, and you kiss him until your head spins and your chest aches in the best way possible.  End Notes asdfghjkl; yes thats it i haven't written any fanfic in so long it's nice to get back into the groove again-- written as a request over tumblr/lineplay haha yeah so my tumblr's at crown-the-kings, feel free to shoot me a request, or criticism, or death threats (ahahaha aka teenage virgin writes porn am i right) Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!