Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11934282.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Sollux_Captor/Equius_Zahhak, The_Condesce/Grand_Highblood, mentioned
      solara_and_solfef_and_equara
  Character:
      Sollux_Captor, Equius_Zahhak, The_Condesce_(Homestuck), Grand_Highblood
  Additional Tags:
      Pesterlog, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Porn_Watching, Healthy
      Kismesissitude, tentabulges_and_nooks, Stuff_kinky_to_trolls, Underage
      means_16.5_year_olds_having_sexual_banter, Cybersex, Twerking
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-08-28 Words: 6981
****** leakedroyalmovie.mp4 ******
by FailureArtist
Summary
     Every 100 sweeps Condesce leaks a sex video and Sollux and Equius are
     lucky enough to watch one.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
  This work was inspired by
      Lovve_8ites_and_So_Do_I by subtropicalStenella
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling  centaursTesticle [CT]
TA: hey 2our2pade, iit2 moviie morniing.
TA: hey!
TA: 2top mole2tiing your robot2 and an2wer.
CT: D --> I am not at your beck and call, lowb100d
TA: but you diid agree to moviie morniing, 2our2pade.
TA: thiis ii2 the morniing and tiime.
CT: D --> Is it really Frognite already
CT: D --> I was certain today was Thumpnite
TA: look at your hoofbea2t calendar agaiin.
CT: D --> Oh my, it is
TA: you have got two pay attentiion.
CT: D --> It’s not like you don’t get caught up in your hobbies
TA: at lea2t ii remembered thii2 and iim the one wiith the fucked-up thiink
pan.
TA: iim tryiing two make thii2 relatiion2hiip work.
CT: D --> I’m not against movie night
CT: D --> In fact, I have many movies I would like you to see
TA: not 2o fa2t, iit2 my turn.
CT: D --> Is it really
TA: dont you remember?
TA: la2t frogniite you made me watch BROKEBOW: The Motion Picture: The Fifth
Sequel.
TA: all 180 goddamn miinute2 of iit
CT: D --> The film took that long because it needed to be that long
CT: D --> No scene was unimportant
TA: iit had almost half an hour worth of pan2 of that fuckiing 2paceship.
CT: D --> It was an e%cellent display of technology
CT: D --> You are interested in technology right
TA: yeah technology rock2 but ii hate 2pace2hiip2.
CT: D --> You must get used to the idea of being a spaceship
CT: D --> Besides, the scene was
CT: D --> 22 minutes long
CT: D --> E%actly
TA: ..
TA: damn iit.
TA: well, ii 2tii hate the moviie and iim glad iit2 my turn.
CT: D --> Are you going to make me watch that ridiculous movie about criminals
“hacking” computers from the troll 1990s
TA: ii hate that moviie two.
TA: ii only briing iit out two pii22 off kk becau2e he ha2 a hate-wriigly for
troll angeliina joliie.
TA: he 2tiill ha2nt gotten over her 2tealiing troll jennifer ani2ton2
mate2priit.
CT: D --> I don’t forgive her either
TA: you 2hould have a hate wank wiith kk sometiime.
TA: ii only thiink 2he2 over-rated.
TA: but thii2 moviie ha2 a better 2eatroll.
TA: you could 2ay 2he2 the top female 2eatroll.
CT: D --> You mean troll Esther Williams
TA: who?
TA: oh, ii looked iit up, 2he2 the one wiith the water mu2iical2 from the troll
1940'2.
TA: 2iince when have ii ever 2hown any iinterest iin mu2iical2?
CT: D --> I think she’s an e%cellent performer no matter what the critics say
TA: no, when ii 2ay top, ii mean TOP.
TA: you cant get more hiigher than her.
CT: D --> You mean Her Imperious Condescension (May All Fear Her Name)
TA: yep.
CT: D --> That sounds edifying
TA: ii know youll enjoy iit.
CT: D --> TOO edifying
CT: D --> This is that deprived recording of an
CT: D --> Intimate session
CT: D --> Isn’t it lowb100d
TA: oh my, iim 2urprii2ed the upriight equiiu2 zahhak know2 of 2uch iilliict
materiial.
TA: perhap2 ii 2hould choo2e 2omethiing he ha2nt watched 100 tiime2?
CT: D --> I have only 100ked at an article pertaining to it
CT: D --> And I only 100ked at that singular article once
TA: you diidnt have the control two fiind out more before you 2queezed one out,
diid you?
CT: D --> I almost 100% forgotten about that distressing news when I completed
the article
CT: D --> You just forced that my memory out of me
TA: you were awfully quiick two remember
CT: D --> I suppose you’ve already memorized 100% of the recording
TA: actually, ii havent watched iit yet.
TA: iive been avoiidiing tran2cript2 and 2ummariies two.
TA: ii wa2 2aviing my2elf for you.
CT: D --> What makes you think I will join you in this criminal enterprise
TA: iif iit2 criimiinal than half the empiire iis goiing down.
TA: they cant pro2ecute everyone.
CT: D --> Aren’t you in a precarious position as a psionic
CT: D --> A very STRONG psionic
TA: thank2 for the flattery but iit wont make a difference iif iim a good boy
or not.
TA: iif they need me two be a helm2man, they are goiing two 2trap me two a
helm.
TA: ii miight a2 well have fun.
CT: D --> You may have given up on being a decent subject but I haven’t
TA: a decent 2ubject who date2 more than 2 ca2te2 below hiim?
CT: D --> That’s technically not illegal
CT: D --> Watching an unauthorized recording of our esteemed monarch’s personal
moments is e%tremely illegal
TA: unauthoriized?
TA: iill let you iin on a 2ecret:
TA: conde2ce leaked the recordiing her2elf.
CT: D --> Do you have proof of this accusation
TA: no, but everyone know2 iit.
TA: 2he doe2 thii2 every 100 2weep2.
TA: exactly every 100 2weep2.
TA: that2 really damn 2u2piiciiou2.
CT: D --> Why would She do that
TA: 2he2 a total exhiibiitiionii2t.
TA: 2he want2 everyone two know how fuckiing rad 2he ii2 on platform.
TA: but 2he cant directly relea2e a 2ex tape becau2e 2he ha2 her diigiiniity.
TA: 2o 2he 2ecretly “leak2” one.
CT: D --> That is a ridiculous stunt to pull
TA: dont act liike you wouldnt do the 2ame iif you were monarch.
TA: you are 2o vaiin about your 2TRONG body.
TA: youd have all your portraiit2 done nude.
CT: D --> If I did that
CT: D --> They would be artistic nudes
TA: giiviing your iidea of “artii2tiic” ii2 trolls beiing cru2hed by geniital2
ii thiink they would rate quadruple X.
TA: hell, the fiir2t nude 2elfiie you 2ent two me wa2 a 2peculum 2hot of your
nook.
CT: D --> I recall you were the first to bring up nude pictures
CT: D --> I didn’t ask for any
TA: that2 becau2e even you dont want two 2ee my 2kiinny diigu2tiing body.
CT: D --> True
TA: youre the hot one iin thii2 quadrant.
TA: well, bodywii2e.
TA: you have a face only a lu2u2 could love.
CT: D --> And you have a cute face
CT: D --> E%cept for the teeth
TA: thank2.
TA: now the empre22e22..
TA: you do thiink 2he2 hot dont you?
CT: D --> She is e%quisite
CT: D --> Not “hot”
TA: okay exquii2iite.
TA: dont you owe iit two her two watch her perfect body iin motiion?
TA: iit2 patriiotiic.
CT: D --> I must admit I am
CT: D --> Curious
TA: glad you fiinally admiited that.
CT: D --> I would like to know which troll She deemed worthy of Her platform
TA: huh, you really havent read much, have you?
TA: iit2 the grand hiighblood.
CT: D --> Isn’t He Her moirail
TA: apparently 2he ha2 hiim iin two quadrant2.
CT: D --> Perhaps I should allow the couple Their privacy
TA: dont get cold feet on me now.
TA: ii know you al2o want two 2ee the grand highblood naked.
TA: that2 why you u2ed two 2talk gz.
CT: D --> I didn’t “stalk” him
CT: D --> I just communicated with him very often
CT: D --> And I don’t do that much anymore
TA: yeah, iin2tead you 2tarted “communiicatiing” wiith me.
TA: iim a better choiice than gz, no offen2e to the poor clown.
TA: (actually, all the offen2e)
TA: however, the clown ha2 a hot ance2tor.
CT: D --> We don’t know 100% if Grand Highb100d XIII is Gamzee Makara’s
Ancestor
CT: D --> And His Capriciousness cannot be described as “hot”
TA: true and true.
TA: but you can pretend.
TA: the conde2ce briing2 enough for the both of them.
CT: D --> She could do worse
CT: D --> Though I am surprised She is with a landtroll
TA: nothiing wrong wiith that.
TA: iit2 better than the rumors 2he hook2 up wiith her 2hip2.
CT: D --> Preposterous
CT: D --> How would that even work
TA: ii try not to thiink about that.
TA: anyway..
TA: ready two 2tream a moviie wiith me?
CT: D --> I was planning on meditating on the glories of the Galactic
Musclebeast today
TA: good, you were planniing on ma2turbatiing anyway.
TA: thii2 way we can ma2turbate together.
CT: D --> I was not planning on “m******ting” on that subject
CT: D --> And I won’t do that with this movie
CT: D --> You can do that all you want but I’ll just watch
CT: D --> The movie that is
CT: D --> With my hands FIRMLY on the desk
TA: 2o you 2ay..
TA: iim defiiniitely goiing to get old red and blue out and ma2turbate.
TA: (though not iif the moviie turn2 out two be really gro22)
CT: D --> Let’s just get this silly thing over with
TA: dont worry, the moviie ii2 only 32 miinute2 long.
TA: ready?
CT: D --> Ready
-- twinArmageddons [TA] began streaming “leakedroyalmovie.mp4” --
CT: D --> The video is just black
TA: iit2 dark on my end two, ii better have not gotten a bad torrent.
TA: no waiit, ii 2ee the crack of a door.
CT: D --> I can’t see it
TA: maybe you 2hould take off your 2tupid 2hade2.
CT: D --> You wear shades too
CT: D --> Oh wait, the door opened
CT: D --> She has arrived
TA: thank god.
CT: D --> Why is She being carried by the Grand Highb100d
CT: D --> Is She hurt
TA: ii thiink theyre just beiing cute.
CT: D --> The Grand Highb100d must be STRONG to be able to carry Her
TA: are you perhap2 calliing her iimperiiou2ne22 fat?
TA: 2hame on you, eq.
CT: D --> I didn’t mean that
CT: D --> Just that She is
CT: D --> Oh look, He’s setting Her down
TA: told you.
TA: 2he ju2t needed two be liifted up two reach hiim.
CT: D --> The Grand Highb100d is so much bigger than I e%pected
TA: everyone know2 he2 motherfuckiing huge.
CT: D --> I just didn’t e%pect Him to be bigger than Our Imperiousness
TA: why?
CT: D --> I thought She towered over everyone
CT: D --> Since She is the Highest
TA: the 2pectrum doe2nt work that way.
TA: like aa ii2 really tall even though 2he2 on the bottom.
TA: and ed ii2 a 2hort 2hrimp.
CT: D --> True
CT: D --> Though oddly
CT: D --> The Grand Highb100d’s supposed Descendant is
CT: D --> Below average
TA: not anymore.
TA: gz ha2 2hot up.
CT: D --> Really
TA: kk feel2 2o betrayed, iit2 hilarious.
CT: D --> Vantas is e%tremely sensitive
CT: D --> Oh 100k
CT: D --> She’s coming towards the camera
CT: D --> Where is the camera located
TA: ii dont know yet.
TA: oh, 2he turned on a light above the camera.
TA: ii can 2ee 2ome bottle2 and makeup and 2hiit.
TA: iit2 her vaniity.
TA: 2he mu2t be iin front of two way miirror.
CT: D --> Someone dared bug our Empress’ mirror
CT: D --> How violating
CT: D --> Whoever did that should be punished
TA: that would be her.
TA: 2he couldnt not know there2 a two way miirror there, iit2 her own fuckiing
palace.
TA: plu2 look at her priimp iin front of the miirror.
TA: 2he totally know2 2he ha2 an audiience.
CT: D --> She must reapply her cosmetics often as a woman of fashion
TA: 2he probably goe2 through ton2 of ma2cara and eyeliiner.
TA: whoa, 2he2 applyiing makeup two her cleavage, that2 weiird.
CT: D --> A fashionable woman applies makeup everywhere
TA: ga wouldnt do that.
CT: D --> How would you know
TA: becau2e ii ju2t do.
TA: well, ii hope 2he doe2nt.
TA: do you thiink vrii2ka does that?
CT: D --> I don’t want to know
TA: okay 2he2 2teppiing away from the two-way miirror 2he TOTALLY doe2nt know
about.
TA: ehehehe look at conde2ce go!
CT: D --> I think that’s a very dignified dance
CT: D --> Dance has a noble history
TA: 2ay2 the iindiigoblood wiith two left feet.
CT: D --> You have only one move
TA: that2 the be2t move.
TA: youll agree later iif we ever get two do iit.
TA: the empre22 2eem2 two liike twerkiing the be2t.
CT: D --> It’s called the low squatting rumble pose.
TA: whatever that move ii2 2he2 really hiitiing hii2 2hiin hard
CT: D --> Oh my God, he hit Her
CT: D --> On the buttocks
TA: damn!
CT: D --> I meant oh my goodness, by the way
CT: D --> How has he not been punished
TA: becau2e 2he liike2 iit liike that.
TA: iit2 pretty damn 2exy.
TA: but dont you dare try iit on my weak bony a22.
CT: D --> I couldn’t try it on any posterior, weak or not
TA: 2he2 turniing around!
TA: a22 up near the camera, that ii2 2O on purpo2e.
TA: look at that booty go!
CT: D --> She has remarkable control over her gluteus maximius
TA: iit2 liike a bowl of gelatiin, ii am gettiing hypnotiized by that 2hakiing.
TA: bet that2 how 2he get2 everyone two do her biiddiing.
CT: D --> I am certain the fuschiab100d can get people to follow her
CT: D --> Without using her rear end
CT: D --> She has the STRENGTH of b100d
TA: 2he ha2 that AND a genociidal lu2u2.
TA: more proof that 2he2 behiind thii2 2iince who el2e would dare?
TA: ehehehe behiind.
TA: fuck ii hear a ziipper!
CT: D --> I can’t hear anything
TA: 2he2 unziippiing the bodysuiit!
TA: iif only 2he wa2 turned around
CT: D --> I think seeing her back is fine enough
CT: D --> 100k how e%quisite the bare flesh is
TA: iit2 not all bare.
TA: 2he2 got a tramp stamp.
CT: D --> A what stamp
TA: iit2 a bliingee, how do you even tattoo a bliingee?
CT: D --> She obviously has access to only the best artist in the business
TA: 100k at that hand mark on her a22, grand hiighb100d ha2 a hand on hiim.
CT: D --> As He should
CT: D --> Though it would be better if He didn’t use it against our Empress
TA: 2he2 not weariing pantiies.
CT: D --> Wrong, lowb100d
CT: D --> I detect a pair of small pink thong-style panties
TA: youre riight, a22 man.
CT: D --> I’m only observant
CT: D --> Thongs are so noble
CT: D --> So freeing
TA: ii dont fiind haviing a permanent wedgiie freeiing.
TA: iit2 boxer2 for me.
TA: FIINALLY, 2he2 naked.
CT: D --> When will the Grand Highb100d get undressed
TA: youre into hiim?
TA: more than our iimperiiou2 conde2ce?
CT: D --> He is second to our monarch
CT: D --> Why should I not enjoy His noble body
TA: hii2 funky a22 clown body.
CT: D --> He’s taking off his shirt
CT: D --> Oh my
CT: D --> That is an elaborate series of scars
TA: holy 2hiit how many people have stabbed hiim?
TA: also he2 kiinda fat.
CT: D --> He’s not obese
CT: D --> He is stocky
CT: D --> 100k at him fle% his arms
TA: why ii2 he flexiing randomly, hmmm?
CT: D --> Why not
CT: D --> She’s enjoying his demonstration
TA: he2 got the guns but he2 2tiill got a belly liike a contaiiner of gelatiin.
CT: D --> Just because you have neither muscles nor fat
CT: D --> Doesn’t mean you should 100k down on people who do
TA: he2 not a2 toned a2 you, you have two admiit.
CT: D --> Thank you
CT: D --> I mean
CT: D --> Don’t compare me to this illustrious indigob100d
TA: jeez iim tryiing two compliiment you.
CT: D --> He’s sitting on the platform now
CT: D --> His shoes are impressive
TA: could be all aiir, he ii2 a clown.
CT: D --> No
CT: D --> His feet are worthy of his shoes
TA: fuck, that guy need2 a pediicure.
CT: D --> You don’t get pedicures
TA: ii miight iif ii had the money.
CT: D --> His Holy Codpiece
TA: that thiing look2 really hard two take off.
TA: how doe2 he get iit off every morniing?
CT: D --> Her Imperious Condescension is getting Him off
TA: iid hope 2o, 2hed be a 2hiitty lover iif 2he didnt
CT: D --> I mean getting the codpiece off
CT: D --> I hope She does get him off though
CT: D --> It would be e%tremely rude not to
TA: iit2 off!!
TA: holy 2hiit, that bulge!!
CT: D --> Oh my god
CT: D --> I mean
CT: D --> Goodness
TA: that2 the 2iize of my arm, how ii2 that po22iible?
CT: --> He is much larger than you by far
TA: even 2o that ii2 proportiionally HUGE, iit2 almo2t down two his knee2.
CT: D --> So you said earlier that our Makara has had quite the growth spurt
TA: you are NOT a2kiing me iif gz ha2 a biig bulge are you?
TA: becau2e iim not goiing two a2k kk for you.
CT: D --> What is She doing with that bulge
TA: 2he2 kii22iing iit, duh.
CT: D --> But that's filthy
TA: 2o the grand highblood2 mouth and 2he kii22e2 that.
CT: D --> How could She stoop to such perversion
TA: are you que2tiioniing our ruler2 judgement?
CT: D --> Of course not
TA: iif 2he want2 to do it, let her do iit.
TA: though 2he2 doiing a shiity job of iit, ju2t holdiing iit liimply whiile
kii22iing iit liightly
CT: D --> Could you do a better job than Our Imperious Condescension
TA: youll fiind that out later *black sign*
TA: though 2eriiously ii dont thiink ii could take on that mon2ter.
CT: D --> If She can't do it
CT: D --> No one can
TA: well hiighblood2 arent good at head ii2 what they all 2ay.
CT: D --> I feel no shame over that
CT: D --> The Grand Highblood is satisfied
CT: D --> That's all that matters
TA: look at hiim stroke her haiir, that2 2weet.
CT: D --> Indeed, it is quite tender
TA: ii completely love long gorgeous haiir
CT: D --> I know
TA: ii mean aa and ff's haiir, ii could live wiithout your 2weaty liimp haiir.
CT: D --> You'll be surprised to find out my hair is silky like a purebred
hoofbeast's mane
TA: ii fiind that hard two be beliieve
CT: D --> Ask Nepeta and she'll verify
TA: ii dont want two 2sk your moiiraiil iif your haiir ii2 2exy.
CT: D --> You don't need to use the word “s*%y” with her
CT: D --> Just ask her
TA: okay your haiir ii2 better than vrii2ka2.
CT: D --> That's not much of a compliment
CT: D --> As we all know about Serket
CT: D --> Wait, what is Her Imperious Condescension doing with her illustrious
locks
TA: 2he2 giiviing hiim a hand job, wiith her haiir??
CT: D --> Can the Heiress do that
TA: are you a2kiing about our 2ex liife?
TA: you know we broke up in that quadrant.
CT: D --> I meant
CT: D --> Outside the boudoir
CT: D --> Is her hair prehensile
TA: 2he ha2 a liitle control over iit, but you need centuriie2 of practiice for
thii2.
CT: D --> It is amazing how skilled our Empress is in all things
TA: iif you had that 2kiill, would you use iit two put your hair up 2omeone2
nook or a22?
CT: D --> That's disgusting
CT: D --> Unless the Empress is doing it
CT: D --> In which case it isn't
TA: 2poken liike a true patriiot
TA: 2he2 2topped kneeliing, gue22 2he2 tiired of blowiing the hiighblood
CT: D --> Her Bone Bulge is out
CT: D --> It is
CT: D --> That is to say
TA: much 2maller than the grand highblood?
CT: D --> Yes, that is true
CT: D --> Though the Grand Highblood is e%ceedingly above-average
CT: D --> It would be difficult to be bigger than that
TA: 2tiill ii2 a liitle diisappoiintiing 2he doe2nt have a record-breakiing
bulge.
CT: D --> It is e%quisitely decorated
TA: 2houldnt the jewelry 2nag when 2he pull2 iit back iin?
CT: D --> The Grand Highb100d certainly appreciates that bone bulge
CT: D --> 100k at Him worship it
TA: ii wouldn't trust hiim not two biite iit off iin a subjuggulator blood
lu2t.
CT: D --> I'm sure the Grand Highb100d has at least that amount of control
CT: D --> His beautiful rage is for lower trolls
TA: ii don't get what2 2o great about highblood rage.
TA: when ii rage ii'm 2ome over-2en2iitiive lowblood but when you guy2 rage
youre bold warriior2.
TA: iit2 not faiir.
CT: D --> Can we focus on the movie and not your neurosis for once
TA: okay that2 faiir.
TA: ghb ii2 doiing a better job than condy diid wiith hiim
CT: D --> Highb100ds aren't so terrible at oral s*% after all
TA: now you're proud of giiviing head, huh?
CT: D --> You started with the comparison
TA: huh he2 stopped already, ju2t leaniing back.
TA: wait.
CT: D --> Oh my that STRENGTH
TA: he ju2t threw her up and plopped her on hii2 fuckiing face liike 2he wa2 an
anatomiically correct rag doll.
CT: D --> Isn't it hard to breath in that position
TA: probably.
CT: D --> Though I suppose that isn't a bad thing
CT: D --> What a way to go that would be
TA: ghb ii2 really iinto her nook, diid 2he douche wiith faygo?
CT: D --> That would be disgusting and unhygienic
TA: you would know unhygeniic.
CT: D --> I don't even stock any surgery drinks in my hive
TA: maybe 2he naturally ta2te liike faygo.
TA: or maybe 2he ta2te2 liike tab.
TA: and that2 where tab come2 from.
CT: D --> Another reason not to drink soda
TA: ii wonder iif he2 eatiing out her a22.
CT: D --> That is definitely unhygienic
TA: don't know iit tiill you try iit, wiith 2omebody other than me.
CT: D --> Well if Her Imperious Condescension demanded it
CT: D --> I would
TA: all 2hed demand of me would be beiing her 2pace2hip NO THANK2.
TA: look, 2he2 giiviing ghb a haiir job, good two 2ee 2he2 not leaviing hiim
hangiing.
CT: D --> He is taking some time
TA: hey eq ii2 your bulge out?
CT: D --> Are yours
TA: do you thiink iid be 2o unpatriiotiic two not have a wiiggly or two?
CT: D --> Mine is out
CT: D --> E%tremely out
TA: niice.
TA: two bad ii cant touch iit.
TA: but you can't eiither 2o fuck thii2 world.
CT: D --> I do have methods of m*******tion
TA: 2o the priim and proper eq doe2 ma2turbate.
CT: D --> I don't use the methods often but I do have them
TA: iill ma2turbate twiice a2 much two make up for you.
CT: D --> Wasn't that your habit even before we became kismesises
TA: you got me there.
TA: awww thii2 feel2 good.
CT: D --> Are you taking up the slack now
TA: thank god for p2ychiic typiing, make2 the2e power2 worth it
CT: D --> I think your powers are already a reward from Mother Grub
CT: D --> Don't deign yourself
TA: yeah that2 what youre here for.
TA: oh god ii wii2h you were here.
CT: D --> What would you do if I was there
TA: iid have you finger my nook.
TA: actually that2 a bad idea wiith your 2trength, never miind.
CT: D --> I'm sure I could do something
TA: maybe you could watch naked and make 2narky comment2.
TA: we could do that now, but how would we watch the moviie?
CT: D --> They've changed position
TA: gue22 he diidn't 2uffocate.
TA: look2 liike 2hell top.
CT: D --> What other position could They do
TA: youve 2een enough art two know other po2iitiion.
CT: D --> I meant given their respective statuses
TA: 2he2 cho2en rever2e hoofbea2t-wrangler.
TA: a.k.a. the po2iitiion 2hell look be2t iin.
CT: D --> We can't see the Grand Highb100d's face
TA: ii 2ee that a2 a plu2.
TA: 2he2 guiidiing the bulge iin.
TA: want two bet iif iit wiill fiit?
CT: D --> I don't take any bets
CT: D --> Especially none as 100d as that
TA: ju2t jokiing, iif 2he had diied of bone bulge overdo2e wed have heard of
iit.
TA: though the cau2e of death would be lii2ted diifferently.
TA: liike 2he ju2t happened two triip and tear her body iin two.
CT: D --> It seems to be making its way in
TA: the tiip2 the ea2y part, let2 2ee iif 2he can get more.
CT: D --> Oh my
TA: wow that2 iimpre22iive.
TA: iit ju2t keep2 comiing liike a worm trolley iinto a tunnel but the worm
get2 biigger exponentiially.
TA: ii2 2he hollow??
TA: doe2 2he have a black hole iin her nook??
CT: D --> She's simply a very tall woman
TA: that2 true but WOW.
CT: D --> She's at the root
TA: look at that 2tretch.
TA: iit hurt2 ju2t two look at iit.
CT: D --> I find it an e%tremely enjoyable sight
TA: ii wonder how iit feel2.
CT: D --> You shall some night find out
CT: D --> Some night soon
TA: oh come on, iive 2een your bulge.
CT: D --> Did you not notice the size
TA: iit2 above-average, don't get me wrong.
TA: ju2t you aren't a hoofbea2t.
CT: D --> I am noble like a hoofbeast
TA: ii hope you dont randomly 2hiit on the road liike a hoofbea2t
CT: D --> I don't have that trait
TA: ii2 the bulge moviing??
CT: D --> I see some bulging in her thorax
TA: oh come on that2 IIMPO22IIBLE.
CT: D --> I have seen pictures of it
TA: mu2clebea2t paiintiing2 dont count.
CT: D --> The artists must have some realism in their work
TA: not an expert but ii dont beliieve that AT ALL.
CT: D --> You are correct
CT: D --> You are not an e%pert
TA: now 2he2 moviing
CT: D --> How elegant
TA: look at tho2e rumble2phere2 go.
CT: D --> I can't keep my eyes off them
TA: 2o you're al2o a rumble2phere troll.
TA: want to know a 2ecret about her?
CT: D --> I'm afraid to ask
TA: people 2ay her rumble2phere2 are fake.
CT: D --> People say lots of vile things
TA: but her de2cendent is rather flat-che2ted.
CT: D --> She's only 7 and a ½ sweeps old
TA: true.
TA: thii2 all make2 me mii22 haviing ff a2 a mate2prit
CT: D --> You mean you aren't happy with Aradia
TA: oh ii am happy wiith aa.
TA: and ff make2 a good moiiraiill.
TA: but it wa2 fun experiimentiing wiith ff.
CT: D --> Why would you break up with the Heiress then
TA: iit wa2 mutual, ii thiink we were ju2t together becau2e we were curiiou2
about what it'd be liike two be wiith another race
CT: D --> I hope you aren't with me just out of curiosity
TA: ii 2hould worry that about you.
CT: D --> There are other things about you that e%cite me
TA: liike how you fiind me...
TA: electriifyiing?
CT: D --> Is that a psionics reference
TA: duh.
TA: thii2 ii2 one-2iided.
CT: D --> I'd say our relationship is
TA: no condy and ghb2 2ex.
TA: why cant he get 2ome nook actiion?
CT: D --> He should be thankful for whatever He gets from Our Imperious
Condescension
TA: iid be dii2appoiinted not gettiing that jewelry iinto me.
TA: oh who am ii kiidiing, iid be happy ju2t two not be a 2hape2hiip.
CT: D --> It is a most beautiful organ to behold
TA: ii thiink 2he want2 two keep iit dii2played
CT: D --> 100k
CT: D --> Her also Illustrious Hair is penetrating the Grand Highb100d
CT: D --> She is magnanimously giving back what She was given
TA: ii don't know how two feel about thii2.
CT: D --> It was your objection
TA: 2hed better not put iit up hii2 wa2techute or ii am deletiing thii2.
CT: D --> Her Imperious Condescension is speaking
TA: 2he ha2 been amaziingly quiet.
TA: though that might be becau2e the 2ound ii2 2o 2hitty.
TA: next 100 2weep2, 2he 2hould iinvest iin a boom miike
CT: D --> Can you tell what She's saying
TA: ii thiink iit2 ju2t normal moan2.
CT: D --> I swear I hear some words
TA: you got 2hitty heariing from haviing bangiing machiine2 next two you all
niight.
CT: D --> Meanwhile you have buzzing bees
TA: 2he i2 2ayiing 2omethiing.
TA: grand highblood??
TA: 2he2 really 2ayiing that??
CT: D --> What is so surprising about that
CT: D --> He is the troll She's with
CT: D --> It would be rude to say someone else's name
TA: yeah but who 2ay2 2omeone2 title duriing 2ex?
TA: are they not iintiimate enough two u2e hatchname2?
TA: 2omethiing ii2 fii2hy and iit2 not ju2t condy.
CT: D --> I can't begin to imagine what His Mirthfulness's hatchname is
TA: ii thiink 2he cant reveal iit becau2e 2he2 beiing taped.
TA: waiit diid 2he 2ay k-2omethiing?
CT: D --> I wouldn't know
CT: D --> Robot noises, as you said
TA: diid ghb jus2t 2ay biitch?
CT: D --> He might have just been using the 100d word as an intensifier
CT: D --> Makara rarely uses it to refer to female trolls
CT: D --> However Vantas
TA: he 2aiid fii2h-biitch.
CT: D --> You lie
CT: D --> How could anyone ever think to call Her Imperious Condescension that
TA: lot2 of people, but they arent good on platform.
CT: D --> I don't think anyone could be talented enough in 100d activities to
dare say it
TA: he2 probably also good iin a piile, so he2 got two great 2kiill2 iin two
quadrant2.
CT: D --> Don't remind of Their alleged quadrant blurring
CT: D --> It's e%tremely disgusting
TA: extremely dii2gustiing?
TA: mu2t be your kiink.
CT: D --> It is yours
TA: touche.
TA: ii hear 2ome tiinny dub2tep.
CT: D --> I don't hear anything
TA: 2he 2topped moviing, why?
TA: 2he took 2omethiing out of her 2ylladex
CT: D --> It's a shell
TA: iit2 a fuckiing 2hell phone!!
CT: D --> I didn't e%pect Her to still use a flip phone in this night and age
TA: ii diidn't expect her two use any phone!!
CT: D --> Though it is Her right to use any phone She feels fit
TA: but duriing 2ex??
TA: what the fuck??
TA: could 2he at lea2t get that bone bulge out of her??
CT: D --> That isn't an anatomy that easily comes out
TA: yeah don't want your organ2 comiing out with it.
TA: couldnt 2he tell the caller two waiit??
CT: D --> It could be an e%tremely important call
TA: nah, there2 2omethiing two ca2ual about her body language.
CT: D --> Even now Her body language is beautiful
TA: now 2he2 takiing the haiir out.
TA: iit look2 wet and purple, don't know how two feel about that.
CT: D --> The Grand Highb100d is groaning
TA: iid groan two, thii2 ii2 an iin2ult.
CT: D --> He's not allowed to feel insulted by Her
TA: well iid feel iin2ulted iif you diid that.
CT: D --> As if you wouldn't stop for a notification from one of the many
pointless MMPORGs you play
TA: ii have 2ome 2elf-control, you know.
TA: 2ometiime2.
TA: god, ii wii2h ii knew what 2he wa2 2ayiing.
TA: maybe 2omeone ha2 come out and 2aid they were on the liine at the tiime.
CT: D --> That would be rude to reveal
TA: no ruder than condy.
CT: D --> The Grand Highblood's anatomy is retreating
TA: good for hiim, iim retreating two.
TA: maybe thii2 ii2 how iit ends.
TA: ii want my non-exi2tent money from torrentiing thii2 back.
CT: D --> Her anatomy is still out
CT: D --> I dare say She isn't satisfied
TA: iit2 not the end! 2he ju2t 2at on ghb2 face!
TA: AND 2HE2 2TIILL ON THE 2HELL PHONE!!
CT: D --> She has such poise under stress
TA: ii thiink 2he'2 crackiing a liitle, ghb must be bomb-a22 at thii2.
CT: D --> She moaned into the phone
TA: iimagiine how the caller mu2t feel, iif they diidn't realiize at the time
they must feel liike a grade-Z cullbait after thii2 came out
CT: D --> Maybe this is Her normal practice
TA: you thiink half the tiime 2he an2wer2 her phone 2he2 haviing 2ex??
CT: D --> She's allowed to do that
TA: no 2he2 not!! no one ii2 allowed two do that!!
CT: D --> I have a feeling you are a hypocrite here
TA: at least ii feel guiilty doiing iit.
CT: D --> There, She put away Her phone
CT: D --> Are you happy now
TA: no. never happy.
CT: D --> They are getting into a new position
TA: on the lap? niice.
CT: D --> I think it should be His Mirthfulness on His Empress's lap
TA: ii thiink hed cru2h her 2hapely thiigh2 flat wiith hii2 weiight.
CT: D --> His Mirthfulness is not obese
TA: he2 not fat, he2 HUGE.
CT: D --> What sweet kisses
TA: a few 2econd2 ago hiis tongue wa2 root-deep in her nook
CT: D --> Don't bring that up
CT: D --> That is disgusting
CT: D --> Wait what is She doing
TA: ehehehe, now that2 dii2gu2tiing.
CT: D --> She can't possible be
CT: D --> Papping Him
TA: iid iimagiine hed need 2ome calmiing after the way 2he iignored hiim.
CT: D --> But papping during s*%
CT: D --> It's too much
TA: you 2aiid 2he could do anythiing 2he wanted.
CT: D --> Turn this off now
TA: youre two much of a coward two watch?
CT: D --> I am not a coward
CT: D --> I am just a decent troll
TA: cowaard..
CT: D --> Am not
TA: are two
CT: D --> Am not
TA: are two
CT: D --> No
TA: ye2
CT: D --> No
TA: ye2
CT: D --> No
TA: ye2
CT: D --> Stop this
TA: oh you got your wii2h, they 2topped pappiing.
CT: D --> Thank God and Mother Grub
CT: D --> And Thank the Empress
TA: iit2 hard two pap and have 2ex, pappiing diimiini2hes2 arou2al.
TA: and ye2 ii know fiir2t hand, from both ff and aa.
CT: D --> If Her Imperious Condescension and His Mirthfulness could stop
shoving this perversion in my face
CT: D --> So can you
TA: okay iill 2top makiing you jealou2 wiith my much better 2ex liife.
TA: though iit2 not hard two beat you
CT: D --> I once almost made it to second station with your current matesprit
TA: yeah and you ended up wiith me
TA: 2omeone wa2 the lo2er here and it wa2nt aa
CT: D --> I think Aradia
TA: eq?
CT: D --> It seems the Grand Highblood's anatomy has sheathed itself in Her
Imperious Condescension
TA: they pulled that off again??
CT: D --> And in contrast to your disloyal objections
CT: D --> Her Golden Anatomy is finally in Him
TA: you make iit 2ound like an iimperial ceremony when theyre ju2t fuckiing
liike over-2exed priimate2.
CT: D --> How dare you not find this e%quisite
TA: oh ii fiind iit “exquisite” all riight, iim just 2urprii2ed you do.
TA: ii had two beg you two watch thii2 liittle viideo.
CT: D --> I was wrong
CT: D --> In this instance
CT: D --> I can see why one might be deluded to think Her Imperious
Condescension would leak it
CT: D --> Given how flattering She looks
CT: D --> Though of course She didn't leak it
TA: you ju2t keep telliiing your2elf that.
TA: have fun wiith your delu2ion2 that condy ii2nt the biigge2t exhiibitionii2t
iin the uniiver2e.
TA: 2he ii2 hot though, ii can 2ee why 2hed want everyone two know.
CT: D --> I'm glad you approve of Her
TA: ii miight even want two have 2ex wiith her, 2pace2hiip bull2hiit or not.
TA: okay ii cant get over the 2pace2hiip part.
CT: D --> Would you have s*% with the Grand Highb100d
TA: ii thiink beiing a 2pace2hiip would be better than what murder2adii2tclown
would plan for me.
CT: D --> I would most sincerely want to
CT: D --> Obey
CT: D --> His carnal orders
TA: ugghhh.
TA: fwii iif you cheat on me wiith gz ii wiill FRY your pert a22.
CT: D --> I wasn't planning to
TA: riight on.
CT: D --> I certainly hear something now
TA: ii thiink the undead could hear that, now everyone know2 what iim
watchiing.
TA: though theyre probably al2o watchiing iit.
CT: D --> She's going to spill Her Most Fuchsia g***** m*******
CT: D --> And He His Purple
CT: D --> Such a mi%ture
TA: yeah pretty color2 and all but WHERE II2 THE BUCKET??
CT: D --> I don't see one either
TA: thii2 ii2 goiing where ii thiink iit2 goiing.
TA: theyre goiing two fuckiing paiill iin each other liike lazy triigger-happy
adole2cent2 who cant quiite reach the bucket.
CT: D --> I think They are
TA: here iit come2, they are on the road two danger.
TA: holy 2hiit!!
CT: D --> Oh fuck
CT: D --> I mean fudge
TA: thii2 iisnt fudge iit2 genetic materiial!!
TA: ghb ii2 gettiing even fatter!!
CT: D --> He is NOT fat
TA: and look at condy!!
TA: how wiill 2he fiit iinto her tiight body2uiit now??
CT: D --> What a disturbing sight
CT: D --> Yet how also
CT: D --> Alluring
TA: ii got two admit 2he doe2 2tiill look2 kiinda hot.
CT: D --> Have you ever been in this situation
TA: dont a2k me that, god!!
TA: ye2 ii have.
TA: but only once.
TA: once ii2 enough.
CT: D --> So you don't want to go for
CT: D --> Twice
TA: fuck you.
CT: D --> You shall one night
TA: 2o theyre makiing out, are they goiing two fix theiir obviiou2 problem??
TA: theyll ju2t go two imperiial event2 lookiing liike they already went two
the after buffet??
CT: D --> Perhaps They find pleasure in holding
TA: weiirdo2.
TA: okay here come2 the bucket.
CT: D --> E%cellent
CT: D --> She looks so poised squatting
TA: ii wii2h ii could look cool doiing po2iition2 liike that but ii make
siitting iin a chaiir look bad.
CT: D --> Then there's your one dance move
TA: yeah ii look cool doiing that.
CT: D --> No you don't
TA: here come2 the grand ghb iinto the bucket of pale-flu2h.
TA: 2adly even wiith relea2iing all that liiquiid from hiis thorax he2 2tiill
fat.
CT: D --> His Mirthfulness is not fat
TA: well 2o what iif he ii2??
TA: iim skiinny and iim not two bad.
CT: D --> You could be less skinny if you tried
TA: yeah maybe ii 2hould be a2 fat a2 grand high blub, youd piitch me more.
CT: D --> Her Imperious Condescension is coming to the vanity
TA: yeah two turn off the camera.
TA: there2 liike a couple 2econd2 left whoop2 there iit2 all black.
TA: liike our relatiion2hiip *black sign*
-- twinArmageddons [TA] completed streaming “leakedroyalmovie.mp4” --
CT: D --> Thank you for showing this fascinating video to me
TA: thank2 for makiing iit two the end.
CT: D --> Now delete it
TA: nope.
CT: D --> Delete it now
TA: nope 2x.
CT: D --> NOW LOWB100D
TA: maybe ii 2hould ju2t tell you ii deleted iit and not actually delete iit.
TA: oh waiit ii ju2t deleted iit for real acciidentally.
CT: D --> Good
TA: (ehehehe)
CT: D --> Are your bulges still out
TA: a biit but iive been 2o caught up iin the 2exy banter ii havent done enough
actually 2exiing
CT: D --> Do this “s*%ing” now
TA: awww yeah that feel2 good
TA: one and two are out and proud!!
TA: m finger22 ar deeep iin m nook now
TA: on pychic typin now
CT: D --> Yes
CT: D --> Tell me more
TA: feeel2 god
TA: my bullge22 are twii2tiing liike clow dervii2he2
TA: telll mee abot you
CT: D --> My noble indigo b*lge is out and proud and ready for a lowb100d n**k
to sink into
TA: yeeeh love yor bulge
CT: D --> Indeed
CT: D --> It is galloping like a hoofbeast freed from its confining stable
TA: gogdamit dont use hooofbest analogy2 duriin 2ex hoofbe2t dont even loook
liike bulges
CT: D --> Fine you lowb100d philistine
CT: D --> My b**** is like a swarm of bees seeking flowers
TA: that make2 no2en2e ii hat how turnned on ii am
CT: D --> Are you close
TA: ye2h
CT: D --> <3<
TA: 2222222222222s
CT: D --> Did you clima%
CT: D --> Sollux are you there
TA: giive me tiime two breath OKAY.
TA: diid you fiinii2h?
CT: D --> I shall finish later when I have the proper equipment
TA: you probably fiinii2hed half an hour ago and diidnt tell me.
CT: D --> I did not
CT: D --> Though I find your undoing
CT: D --> A clima% of its own
TA: ii cant beliieve ii saiid those thiings about my 2ex liife.
TA: dont tell aa and ff.
CT: D --> I wouldn't dare speak to the Heiress of such things
TA: and you dont talk two aa ever.
TA: 2he2 lucky twiice over, e2capiing death and e2capiing you.
CT: D --> And you are lucky she delivered me to you
TA: yeah ii got a 2mokiing-hot kii2me2ii2 who ii2 madly talented at technology.
CT: D --> Thank you
TA: but not at all a2 talented a2 me.
CT: D --> how dare you say I'm not as talented as you
TA: but ii am.
TA: liike you used two not know what 2erver2 were.
CT: D --> I was only si% sweeps at the time
TA: well ii knew what they were when ii wa2 four.
CT: D --> I'd say I beat you in the body department
CT: D --> But is such a statement is so obvious it's not worth saying
TA: <3<
CT: D --> <3<
TA: 2o what moviie were you planniing on 2howiing next frogniite?
CT: D --> I had planned for Too BROKE Too BOW 22
CT: D --> But I might have to dig up something
CT: D --> On the same scale as your controversial selection
TA: that 2ound2 omiiniiou2.
CT: D --> It is
CT: D --> Good day, sourspade
TA: good day, dont rip off your bone bulge before ii can u2e iit
centaursTesticles [CT]ceased trolling twinArmaggedons [TA]
End Notes
     If anyone feels like illustrating this I would be thankful.
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