Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/440336.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      No_Archive_Warnings_Apply, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Hockey_RPF
  Relationship:
      Patrick_Kane/Jonathan_Toews
  Character:
      Jonathan_Toews, Patrick_Kane, T._J._Oshie
  Additional Tags:
      Teenagers, First_Time, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Broshie
  Series:
      Part 2 of One_and_Only
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-06-21 Words: 4100
****** it's the way I'm feeling (I just can't deny) ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     In the end, Johnny's choice had come down to Buffalo State or Boston
     College.
     Or, in which there are first times, phone sex and T.J. Oshie. Not
     necessarily in that order. Sequel to promise i'm worthy (to hold in
     your arms).
Notes
     Title by Rhianna. Amazing beta by liketheroad <3
See the end of the work for more notes
In the end, Johnny's choice had come down to Buffalo State or Boston College.
Both college hockey teams wanted him badly. He chose Buffalo and then proceeded
to get grilled by Kaner for a month straight as to whether this had to do with
him. Johnny’s response the first ten times was, “Please, get over yourself”
until he finally broke down and said, “A little, okay? But also my family. It’s
not like they don’t have a good team and – I could always transfer, you know.
Depending.”
They had left it at that and made out. Kaner was rather desperate that night,
and they had both clinged to one another afterward. It was sappy as shit, but
Johnny had needed it and seemed like Kaner had too.
Marchy ended up in Boston (another reason Johnny had strongly considered it),
naturally leaving Tyler behind. Marchy was rather miserable about it though, if
the constant text messages Johnny got every day were any indication. Apparently
Tyler wasn’t any better, according to David.
Johnny certainly didn’t envy the long distance thing Marchy was going through.
He himself was dorming because his mom said he should have a full American
college experience. Johnny found he disliked American college students more
than high schoolers, if that was possible. There was one guy, though, T.J. who
he clicked with pretty well, both on and off the ice.
He talked about T.J. sometimes and each time he noticed the way Kaner’s eyes
flared. Especially when he mentioned how hot their line was already. The fourth
time he’d brought T.J. up to Kaner, he had announced, “That’s it, I’m meeting
this fucker.”
They did, at Johnny’s first (and probably last) college party. Kaner didn’t
exactly like that one of the guys on the team wanted to take a group photo and
Johnny ended up on T.J.’s lap simply because there was nowhere to go, even
though Johnny hadn’t left his side up until that point. Kaner arm wrestled with
T.J. -- flat out arm wrestled -- in the kitchen before Johnny had to drag him
away while Kaner was yelling, “Why don’t you fuck off Broshie and get your own
Canadian?”
Johnny left him drunk on the bathroom floor, pissed as all hell. It was their
first real fight since actually getting together and it lead to Kaner slumped
outside his dorm room door, serenading him with Savage Garden songs -- a kick
since his latest dance-off was To the Moon and Back - until Johnny finally took
pity on him (but really, he just couldn’t stand to hear one more verse of Truly
Madly Deeply. At least Hold Me had stopped early on) and let him in.
“Don’t trade me in for a lesser model,” Kaner slurred, eyes bloodshot, staring
up at Johnny from his pathetic sprawl on the floor.
The words were earnest in their drunkenness and they broke through some of
Johnny’s annoyance.
He knelt down to Kaner and put his hands on his shoulders, his face. “You
asshole, I don’t want T.J. I want you, even though I’m not sure why.”
Kaner smiled at him and held his hands out. “Look at me, I’m such a catch.”
Johnny kissed his forehead and slung an arm around his neck. “Moron.”
__________________
That was the first two weeks of his college experience. Since then, it’s been
smooth sailing, except for Kaner’s latest kick of wanting to ‘prepare’ for the
possibility of them having to pull a Marchy/Tyler type situation.
Johnny calls him on it when they only see each other once in the past two weeks
(Kaner had kept coming up with excuses to the point that Johnny thought maybe
he was getting dumped).
“We don’t know where I’ll be next year or where you’ll be. Who knows, Buffalo
might not want me, stranger things have happened. Or I could get into some Ivy
League and ditch your ass.”
Johnny snorts as Kaner continues. “Either way, we should like, see what it’s
like, you know. To miss each other.”
“That’s so dumb,” Johnny says, letting Kaner’s voice wash over him. He really
does miss him, the bastard. “I was at my parents doing laundry Saturday, ten
minutes from you.”
“No, you weren’t, because I’m in sunny California working on my tan while
you’re cold in Buffalo.”
Johnny rolls his eyes. “For the last time, November in Winnipeg would destroy
you.”
“Whatever, Canada, I could take it. We should have phone sex.”
Johnny sputters. Sometimes he feels like he has whiplash from the way Kaner
constantly bounces from topic to topic in their phone conversations. He’s
getting more used to talking on the phone in general but he’s not sure he’ll
ever be used to Kaner’s randomness.
Despite his current befuddlement, his dick leaps a little. “Why would we do
that when you could come over here? I have a single Kaner. A fact that you were
obsessed with a few weeks ago.”
“Mmm, so put that privacy to good use and tell me what you want to do to me.”
“Patrick—“
“Since I’m in California and all and we haven’t seen each other for a month,”
Kaner says, pointedly, willing Johnny to get with the program here.
“This is so stupid,” Johnny mutters, even as he strokes his hand over his
crotch.
“Come on, Johnny,” Kaner says, softly. “I want you.”
“Want you too,” Johnny grits out. His cock begins to fill as he closes his eyes
and remembers the last time Kaner went down on him, swallowing every last drop.
Johnny had licked the taste of his own come out of his mouth and Kaner had
moaned against him.
“Fuck,” he sighs in defeat, arousal overtaking him.
“Fuck, you sound so hot. I want…”
“Tell me,” Johnny says, opening his jeans with one hand and lifting his hips,
working his pants down just enough. He sighs when his hand slips inside his
boxers, finding his cock hard and hot and wanting.
“I want you to fuck me,” Kaner finishes, voice low and almost dreamy that
Johnny nearly gasps.
“Patrick…”
“Unless you have something against my ass,” Kaner responds, voice now petulant.
“I’m starting to think you might.”
“I don’t! What even, Kaner? I’m starting to lose my boner here.”
“You’re hard?” Kaner asks, surprise evident in his voice.
“Uh, duh.”
“Shit, that’s hot.”
“Wasn’t that the point?’
Kaner groans. “Shut up, Johnny. And… I dunno, you just haven’t seemed to want
to, okay? I thought maybe when you graduated or something – that could’ve been
your big celebration gift to yourself but nada, zero, zilch. My ass has gotten
no play.”
“I… just wanted us to have more privacy, okay?” Johnny mumbles, embarrassed.
“And then I guess I didn’t know how to ask you once I moved into the dorm.”
Kaner laughs, sounding a little frantic. “How about ‘Kaner, I wanna deflower
you?’ That would have worked.”
“Why didn’t I think of that,” Johnny says dryly.
“I’m a genius, baby, what can I say?”
“Don’t call me baby.”
Kaner laughs again. “You couldn’t get enough of it when you were sucking me off
last time.”
Johnny feels his cheeks flame. “Yeah, well, that’s different.”
“Mmmhmm, keep telling yourself that baby.”
“Seriously, Kaner, ugh,” Johnny groaned.
“Can we get back to fucking me, please?”
Johnny’s cock leapt beneath his palm, which he’d settled for half-heartedly
groping. “Uh, well I. I want to.”
He hears Kaner’s breathing hitch and it makes Johnny bite his lip. “Tell me,
come on,” he pants.
“God, I dunno, Kaner, I…we’re in my room obviously and… maybe you’re on top of
me, no. I’m on top of you and you’re… doing that thing where you just arch
beneath me, trying to get more, kiss me harder. Fuck, I love that.”
“Shit, yes, and you’re just grinding your dick against me, right?”
“You know it,” Johnny breaths out. “Maybe I… maybe I’m… touching you there.”
“F-fingering me?”
Johnny gasps and his hand flies over his cock, biting down on his lip as the
images dance beneath his closed eyelids. “Yeah… do… Patrick, do it for me?”
“Way ahead of you, man,” comes the broken reply.
Johnny feels his pre-come leak from the head of his cock and he knows this will
be over far too soon. “Oh my god, why aren’t you here?”
“Past curfew now, anyway,” Kaner says, gasping.
“I don’t give a shit, I’d sneak you in,” he groans thumbing the head of his
cock.
“You rebel, you.”
“How many?” Johnny asks, hoping he wouldn’t have to elaborate.
“Two… been practicing some. And if I drop the phone it’s because you’re
balanced between my neck and my ear, man.”
“Don’t,” Johnny says quickly. “Don’t, I wanna hear you, I know you’re gonna
lose it any second.”
“Fuck you, I’m – ah, fuck, alright, I am. Tell me you’re inside me.”
Sparks go off behind Johnny’s eyes and he feels his balls tighten. “I’m... I
am, I’m fucking you, Kaner, and you’re… you feel so tight…”
“Johnny.”
“Do it,” Johnny gasps, lifting his hips.
“Oh fuck,” Kaner moans, loudly, probably too loud but Johnny can’t care, he
just speeds up his hand, tightens his grip, and comes all over his wrist and
belly, nearly shouting Patrick’s name and god knows what else.
For long moments, Johnny can only register the harsh breathing in his ear and
the sound of his heart pounding of his chest.
“Damn,” Kaner said, sounding awe-struck.
Johnny grins to himself, feeling rather self-satisfied.
“Damn,” Kaner says again.
“Pretty good, eh?” Johnny asks, unable to help the smugness in his voice.
“Ugh, yes, you egomaniac.”
“Mmm,” Johnny hums. “Good for me too,” he adds, quietly.
“Yeah?” Kaner asks, modestly.
“Come over Saturday,” Johnny says in reply.
“Fuck, yes.”
_________________________
Johnny feels nervous anticipation pool in his belly when a knock sounds at his
door Saturday afternoon. They talked every day for the rest of the week, but
had only had phone sex the once. He opens the door and is greeted to Kaner’s
ridiculous smile and shining eyes. “Hey.”
Kaner steps inside and as soon as the door is closed Johnny is enveloped in a
fierce hug.
“Hey,” Johnny repeats, in an entirely different tone this time, almost
questioning. They didn’t normally, like, hug. Johnny isn’t really sure what to
do with his hands. He settles them around Kaner’s back and sighs as Kaner
pushes his nose against Johnny’s neck.
“Missed you,” Kaner says softly and Johnny feels a jolt of surprise at the
words words. Then Kaner continues, “California is lonely without you,” and
Johnny feels half-disappointed and half-amused at Kaner’s persistence to keep
up this role play. Well, two could play at that game.
“Missed you too,” he growls and if the words were utterly true, only he needed
to know that. Then he picks Kaner up and walks him back against the door,
fitting their mouths together while Kaner laughs in surprise against his mouth.
Kaner’s legs wrap tight around Johnny’s waist and their mouths slide together
easily, tongues brushing together while Johnny pushes him harder into the door.
“God,” Kaner gasps, clawing at his back and kissing him harder.
They make out against the door, grinding their bodies together until Kaner
starts slipping and Johnny decides to walk them back toward the bed instead,
landing gracefully without so much as a trip.
“You’re too good at everything, okay, it’s annoying,” Kaner says from his
position straddling Johnny’s thigh.
“You love it,” Johnny says, lifting his upper body to chase Kaner’s mouth
before winding up flat on his back with Kaner grinding against him and sucking
on his tongue. They grope for a few moments before Kaner pulls back, bouncing
onto his side next to Johnny and running a hand through his hair.
“Wanna play some video games?”
“Uh…” Johnny says, dumbly, staring at Kaner’s face. He looks – nervous. Oh.
“Um, yeah. Cool.”
He gets up to get the controllers and adjusts himself, turning back to find
Kaner doing the same, his cheeks flushed and his hair a mess.
Johnny sighs and starts up a game of Super Mario, trying not to think about how
hot Kaner looks when he’s wrecked like that, how red his lips get when Johnny
kisses him.
They play, their thighs touching and they’re both into it as usual, so much
that Johnny nearly forgets his hard-on until their eyes meet in a sneaking
glance at one point about twenty minutes in. They both breathe in before
reaching for each other, throwing the controllers aside. Kaner climbs back on
top of him and Johnny slides his hands beneath his jeans and boxers, palming
his ass and holding him close.
“I want your dick in me,” Kaner gasps, any trace of earlier nerves clearly gone
given the assertiveness in his voice.
“I bought… stuff. Well, I’ve had it,” Johnny pants, mouthing his way along
Kaner’s neck.
“Of course you did,” Kaner laughs, voice fond and Johnny’s pulse speeds up.
“Table near the bed,” he tells him and Kaner leans over.
“Do we need the condoms?” he asks after dropping the lube on the bed and moving
back to straddle Johnny, the condoms still in his hand.
Johnny frowns up at him. “We should. It’s only safe.”
“Yeah well, if I was gonna get mouth herpes from you or something, that would
have already happened and vice versa. No one’s been in my ass before.”
Johnny reaches up to Kaner’s jeans and unbuttons them. “Still, Kaner, we
should.”
Kaner rolls his eyes but leans into the touch. “Fine, don’t come in my ass, see
what I care.”
Johnny rolls his eyes right back and pushes his jeans down as far as he can
before Kaner lifts up and takes it from there. “Keep this shit up and I won’t
do it at all.”
Kaner snorts and throws his jeans to the other side of the room before sliding
back on top of Johnny, linking his arms around his neck. “I’d like to see you
stop.”
Johnny surges forward and kisses him, hard and biting, pulling his shirt off as
Kaner does the same. “God, you’re such an ass.”
“Mmm, an ass you want.” Kaner sucks in a breath as Johnny’s hands dip beneath
his boxers.
They grind against each other, kissing the entire time, clad only their boxers.
Johnny sucks on Kaner’s lower lip and loves feeling the uneven puffs of breath
against him.
Johnny flips them over and kisses his way down Kaner’s body, mouthing his dick
through his boxers before taking him in his mouth and making Kaner gasp and
grope for his hair. Johnny loves doing this. Moreover, he loves how into it
Kaner always is, how he can break him apart with just his mouth. He fumbles
around for the lube and gets it open without halting his rhythm. He squeezes
some onto one palm and then coats his fingers, his throat bobbing while Kaner
moans and runs his fingers through Johnny’s hair.
“Spread your legs,” Johnny says as he pulls off, nuzzling Kaner’s dick with his
lips, his voice thick.
Kaner does, his dick twitching at the words. Johnny settles in between them on
his knees and goes back to sucking his dick while his fingers circle Kaner’s
hole, teasing.
“Come on,” Kaner whines and Johnny’s lips stretch around him before he pushes
inside, just barely. Kaner tenses a little before relaxing. Johnny hums around
his dick and pushes in deeper, listening to Kaner gasp and feeling his hips
lift slightly.
Johnny moves down to mouth Kaner’s balls while working him with one finger
before going for two. He curls them just so, until Kaner gasps and shakes above
him, clawing at whatever he can reach of Johnny. Johnny sucks a trail of kisses
up Kaner’s thigh and listens to him sigh before shifting back up to cover him,
withdrawing his fingers. Johnny flips them over so Kaner’s on top, their bodies
fitting together, frantically rubbing.
“Johnny?”
“What?” he gasps out, biting at Kaner’s lips while his fingers slide down to
tease over his crack before inching back inside.
“Johnny,” Kaner mumbles.
“Yeah,” Johnny says, on automatic, just going for it now as he works a third
finger inside while Kaner spreads his legs wider.
“Do me,” Kaner pants against his lips.
Johnny laughs, breathlessly, feeling it punched out of him. “All my life I’ve
waited to hear those words,” he deadpans.
Kaner literally giggles against his mouth and Johnny’s heart does a flip. “Like
you’ll get a better offer.”
Johnny snorts. “I could get a better offer just stepping outside the door.”
He waits for Kaner to pull back and inevitably pout before adding, “But yours
is the only one I want.”
“Sucker,” Kaner grins, pulling Johnny’s lower lip between his teeth.
Johnny fucks him a little harder with his fingers, making Kaner buck against
him, feeling his leaking cock against his thigh before pushing at his body a
little. “Come on,” he breathes, moving so he’s on his side.
Kaner follows suit while Johnny grabs the condom. Kaner groans in
disappointment but Johnny ignores him and rolls it on. He opens the lube again,
spreading it generously on the condom.
Kaner watches him, amused. “I think you’re overdoing it.”
“Whatever.”
Johnny settles so he’s half over Kaner’s back, on their sides. Kaner has one
leg bent at the knee, hitched higher on the mattress and Johnny mouths at the
back of his neck while teasing his hole with the head of his cock until Kaner
has a white knuckled grip on the sheets and is grunting out, “I’m gonna fucking
come if you don’t get inside me already.”
Johnny grins and kisses his shoulder before slowly pushing in. He hears Kaner
gasp and covers his hand with his own.
“Okay?”
Kaner nods, jerkingly. “Yeah. S’good.”
Johnny smiles and bites at Kaner’s earlobe, palming his way down his back an
over his ass before pushing in deeper, feeling Kaner open up for him.
“Jesus Christ,” Johnny gasps at the feel of hot, tight heat around his cock.
“Yeah?”
Johnny laughs, incredulously. “Yeah, Patrick.”
Kaner squeezes his hand while Johnny presses him into the mattress, sliding in
to the hilt, his balls flush against Kaner’s ass.
“I’m gonna...” Johnny starts and Kaner just nods, arching back to find Johnny’s
mouth.
Their tongues meet as Johnny starts moving, shallowly at first and then longer,
harder. Their hands are sticky; so is Kaner’s back but Johnny doesn’t care,
just covers him even more and slams his hips against Kaner’s.
“Oh mon dieu, mon dieu,” Johnny mutters against Kaner’s neck, his hips snapping
forward again and again, finding his rhythm.
Kaner pushes back against him and moans. “God, that’s so hot.”
“What?” Johnny asks, dragging his teeth along Kaner’s neck, feeling breathless.
“You’re... french.”
“Huh?” Johnny can’t even think straight right now with Kaner clenching around
him, much less decipher what Kaner’s trying to say.
“You lapsed into French.”
Johnny pauses and blinks down at him, causing Kaner to whine and grab at his
hip, trying to keep him moving.
“I did not,” Johnny protests.
Kaner laughs, a broken sound that goes right to Johnny’s dick. “Yes, you did,
man. And don’t stop, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me.”
Kaner angles his hips backward, fucking himself a little on Johnny’s cock while
Johnny groans.
“You do it all the time,” Kaner continues, voice thick with arousal. “On the
ice, when you’re concentrating so hard on your homework. Which is always.”
“Jesus.”
“Come on, say something dirty,” Kaner whines, still moving.
“No,” Johnny grits out, holding Kaner’s hips still and taking a deep breath to
calm his dick down.
“Come on, it’ll be so hot.”
“Tu es comme un cinglé” he whispers in Kaner’s ear.
“Nghhh... ugh, wait you’re probably calling me a douche.”
Johnny laughs. “Quelque chose comme ça.” He starts fucking Kaner slowly now.
Kaner moans loudly and Johnny hopes he found his prostate. He never wants to do
anything half-assed; it’s not how he’s built. It’s possible he looked into the
whole thing quite a lot. Kaner really didn’t need to know that T.J. had also
recommended some specific gay porn videos.
“I take it back,” Kaner gasps, letting go of Johnny’s hand to brush his hair
out of his eyes. “Now I just wanna know what you’re fucking saying.”
“Tu es si chaud comme cela, je ne peux même pas le manipuler,” Johnny against
him, starts fucking him harder now, giving it his all. Kaner’s loose and tight
around him all at once.
“I hate your ass,” Kaner pants.
“Qui est une honte parce que j'aime ton cul et comment il se sent autour de ma
bite. Dieu, Patrick.”
“Oh my fucking god,” Kaner gasps, pushing back to meet each thrust. Johnny can
see his hand flying over his cock and knocks it away, replacing it with his
own.
“Johnny,” Kaner moans, tilting his head back against Johnny’s shoulder while
Johnny fucks him short, hard thrusts, kissing his face, neck, wherever he can
reach.
“Si bon,” Johnny says, voice a low rumble. He squeezes his eyes shut and bite
down on his own lip. “Si bon, Patrick.”
“Oh fuck,” Kaner groans and lets out a sharp cry, tensing around Johnny and
shaking apart as his orgasm hits.
Kaner’s still moaning as Johnny milks his cock and Johnny starts to lose his
rhythm. He jerks against Kaner, hips snapping forward while Kaner knocks his
hand away and fits their palms together. Johnny comes harder than he can
remember.
“Mon dieu,” he sighs as the final aftershocks subside.
Kaner shudders in his arms as they pant together, before laughing. “Save the
french for the next time we fuck. Or phone sex. Why didn’t I think of that
before?”
Johnny rolls his eyes and pulls out slowly. Kaner whines as he slips free and
it’s almost ridiculous how much Johnny wants to be back inside him. He gets rid
of the condom while Kaner lies there like a lump.
“Here.” He tosses Kaner some tissues and climbs back in, pressing up behind
him.
“Mmm, let’s take a nap. I had a long trip from California, after all.”
Johnny shoots him a mocking expression but settles in beside him. Kaner,
however, turns and curls up against Johnny’s side. Johnny’s heart thumps loudly
and he slips his arms around Kaner’s waist. It feels … planned, not like when
they’ve passed out together before. He kind of loves it, actually.
They wake up about two hours later and make-out sleepily, dry mouths and bad
breath be damned. Then he makes Kaner a quesadilla while they sit on the floor
playing Trouble because Kaner believes every human, no matter what age, should
own the game. Kaner’s sitting gingerly on a pillow because, “As awesome as that
was, this aftermath kinda sucks, man.”
“Is this even legal?” Kaner asks after Johnny beats him for the second time,
nodding towards the quesadilla maker and munching around his food.
Johnny just shrugs. He knows Kaner likes them, so whatever.
Kaner smirks at him. “You really are a rebel huh?”
“Only for you,” Johnny says and then clamps his mouth shut, realizing just how
sincere, how heartfelt, that came out.
Kaner blinks at him a little and Johnny looks away, setting up the game again,
his cheeks blooming with heat.
“I love you,” Kaner blurts out and Johnny’s head snaps up.
Kaner looks like he’s about to throw up.
“And I’m not just saying that because you just fucked my brains out, okay?”
Johnny scrunches up his nose. That was Kaner: crass yet ridiculously hot at the
same time. Johnny should have t-shirts made up.
“So. You know,” Kaner finishes, waving his hand awkwardly.
Johnny stares at him, takes in the honest vulnerability there.
“Okay,” he says calmly, even though he feels anything but.
Kaner frowns. “Okay?”
Johnny nods, his stomach flipping.
“Okay,” Kaner repeats, dully, ducking his head.
He angrily reaches for his game piece and Johnny’s lips twitch, unable to keep
this up a minute longer.
“Hey.”
Kaner raises his head along with an eyebrow, looking terribly unimpressed.
Johnny feels his smile begin to grow. “Je t’aime, Patrick,” he says, voice low,
chest so full it might burst.
Kaner’s eyes widen.
“You asshole,” he says in disbelief, before lunging at Johnny.
They lose some of the pieces beneath them and there’s nearly a fire hazard as
they make-out frantically on the floor, but Johnny can’t really be bothered to
care.
End Notes
     If you want to hear Johnny saying Kaner's name while speaking French
     and being his uber hot, perfect self, go here. In act, zarathuse's
     whole post here (which I finally decided to consume this past
     weekend) is glorious and basically inspired part of this story.
     Apologies for any imperfections in the French. That's what I get for
     using google translate.
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