Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11518656.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band), Percy_Jackson_and_the_Olympians_&_Related_Fandoms_-
      All_Media_Types
  Relationship:
      Liam_Payne/Louis_Tomlinson, Zayn_Malik/Liam_Payne/Louis_Tomlinson, Zayn
      Malik/Liam_Payne, Zayn_Malik/Louis_Tomlinson
  Character:
      Liam_Payne, Louis_Tomlinson, Chiron_(Greek_and_Roman_Mythology), Niall
      Horan, Harry_Styles, Dionysus_(Greek_and_Roman_Mythology), Demeter_(Percy
      Jackson), Persephone_(Percy_Jackson), Nyx_(Percy_Jackson), Tess_The
      Oracle™_(not_so_oc_oc)
  Additional Tags:
      Liam_Payne_(Son_of_Zeus), Louis_Tomlinson_(Son_of_Hermes), Alternate
      Universe_-_Percy_Jackson_Fusion, underage_because_they_start_when_Louis
      is_eighteen_and_Liam_is_sixteen_but_you_know_where_it_goes, Idiots_in
      Love, Insecure_Louis, Insecurity, Louis-centric, Bickering, Fighting,
      First_Kiss, First_Time, First_Love, Angst_and_Fluff_and_Smut, Smut,
      Bonding, Family_Bonding, Jealousy, Rough_Sex, everyone_likes_to_get_off
      behind_the_stables, Demigods, Alternate_Universe_-_Greek_Mythology, Niall
      Horan_(Son_of_Apollo)_-_Freeform, Harry_Styles_(Son_of_Aphrodite)_-
      Freeform, Cheating, Blow_Jobs, Tattoos, Polyamory, Polyamorous_Character,
      Polygamy, Break_Up, Temporary_Break_Up, Voyeurism, Light_Dom/sub,
      Punishment, Choking, Spanking, self-destructive_behaviour, Self-
      Acceptance, Love_Triangles, (but_they_get_better_very_quickly), Power
      Play
  Series:
      Part 9 of In_The_Stars_(dark_narry_demigod_au)
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-16 Completed: 2017-07-30 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 49545
****** it's our paradise and it's our war zone ******
by soft_(onlysweeter), squishy_(Snowingiron)
Summary
     Louis has always been on his own and he's fine with that. Liam isn't
     there, Zayn isn't there. They're not coming for his heart yet. But
     they're about to and maybe he'll be fine with that, too.
     (Lilo and Zouiam backstory for In The Stars (the dark narry demigod
     AU)
Notes
     Soft and Squishy strike again! This will be posted in three chapters,
     I think. It already became longer than we thought it would be, haha.
     We hope you'll enjoy it because those three idiots mean just as much
     to us as the other two <3
***** Chapter 1 *****
Louis has always been on his own. Of course there is his mum and he loves his
mum, she's the best thing in the entire world. She's what brought him into this
world, keeps him here, makes him feel loved. But when he had to leave for Camp
Half-Blood he finally got to experience the real meaning of being alone. He
won't call it loneliness, it would imply that he's bothered by it, that he
misses people in his life, that he feels isolated. He doesn't. All he ever
needed was his mum and he visits her every summer, every year, he never missed
it once. So whenever he's in camp he'll find something to do, to bridge the
time until he can go home again. Most of the time he annoys other campers,
especially the Zeus cabin because they're the hardest to irritate.
That's right, he doesn't want an easy job, nothing feels right or worth having
unless he works for it, unless he earns it. His mum always wanted him to be
ready for the cruelty of the world but when he was little he didn't know that
she meant monsters, literal monsters, not the ones in human flesh. They seem so
ridiculously unimportant compared to the thing that had chased him and his
satyr to the camp border.
Louis is eighteen now and he's still alone. Sure, he has his siblings, but he
has never really connected with them, there are no friendships or bonds that go
deep enough to make him think of them as his actual siblings. It's not like he
has anything in common with them, it's not like he has inherited any
significant powers from Hermes, not like he has ever seen his father. No, he's
probably the only one who woke up to nothing on his eighteenth birthday.
It's alright though, Louis got himself a shiny present that is currently on his
feet, beautiful shoes with wings on them that come to life with a tap of his
foot. The rest of the cabin had looked at him in awe, thinking it was a gift
from their father. No, Louis had worked hard for that, too (even though he
thought the love of his parents was the one thing he wouldn't have to work for.
That maybe this time it would be unconditional, absolute and pure. It isn't...
not with Hermes).
For the first time in his life he's actually pissed. He wants to tear the shoes
from his feet, wants to curse his father, all gods, maybe even himself. He
wants to go home and cry in his mother's arms, the one place where he never
feels ashamed of his own tears. He wants to wreck something. Someone.
It's the day he punches Liam Payne in the face.
Liam Payne, son of Zeus and the pride of Cabin 1. He's only sixteen years old
with floppy hair and a stride so confident it makes everyone around him
straighten their backs. He is head counsellor already, fought all of his elder
siblings for the position with the sizzling daggers his father had gifted him
with. It's a gift you'd usually receive on your eighteenth birthday but
apparently Liam is that good of a son.
Louis hates him. He's young and proud and so incredible decent, so warm with
everyone, so caring. Louis hates him so much he can barely eat during dinner,
hates him so much that he starts to pester the Aphrodite table next to him.
They're just little kids giggling at movie stars and other pretty kids and
Louis hates them, too. He calls them names, throws food at them and he knows
how to do it properly, secretly, so Mr. D and Chiron won't notice. He hasn't
inherited many of his father's talents so he has worked hard to perfect the one
thing he is good at: Stealth, thievery.
But there is someone who notices anyway, who deems himself the king of camp,
like Zeus is the king of the gods, who cares so much about everything and
everyone, whether they're from his cabin or not.
"Stop this," he tells Louis with such self-assurance, such interest in the
other kids' well-being. Louis wants to vomit.
"Why?" Louis raises an eyebrow and drinks in the sight, how the light backs up
Liam like an actual god, makes him look radiant and so strong, so noble. But he
is just a kid, why is he so eager to grow up?
"What do you mean 'why?'" Liam frowns at him and Louis likes that. He's never
seen Liam frown like that before.
"Why should I stop?" The other Hermes kids who have ignored him before (who
always ignore him) suddenly pay attention. Now that he's in the presence of the
great Liam James Payne (yes, maybe he broke into Chiron's office and looked at
Liam's file with his full name and blood type).
"What kind of question is that? You're hurting them, even if it's just words."
"So?" Louis acts a little bored, even sneaks in a small yawn that somehow riles
Liam up even more, makes him clench his fists. It's a fascinating sight, kind
of hot. Yeah, it's hot. It gives Louis some sick satisfaction because fuck,
Liam-Senpai noticed him, even if it's the bad kind of attention. How far can he
go before Liam snaps?
"We're going to be hunted by monsters all our lives, we should look after each
other instead of fighting. We're all in the same boat."
"How very noble of you," Louis says around his spoon and keeps it in his mouth
while he looks at Liam with his chin in one hand. He lets his tongue slide over
the warm piece of metal and wonders if Liam's skin tastes the same. Somehow he
always imagined lightning to taste like metal. And that boy looks rich of it,
with ripe lips pressed into a thin line. Has anyone ever kissed those lips?
Louis suddenly wants to know. Only for science of course, he still hates Liam
(Oh gods, Louis, who are you trying to fool here, you can't lie to yourself in
your own head, it's not working). "Did someone ever tell you that you care too
much?"
"Did someone ever tell you that you don't care enough?" Liam almost yells.
Louis stares at him and more kids turn their heads, now that Liam has raised
his voice. Louis' bored look turns into a scowl, eyes dark with detest.
"Do you even know my name, Liam James Payne?"
Liam flinches, actually flinches at his own name and the realisation that he
doesn't know who Louis is. He probably doesn't even remember ever seeing him
before. It only makes Louis hate him more, makes tears sting behind his eyes
because surely hatred and tears belong together? They must, otherwise Louis
wouldn't feel it.
But Liam's gaze quickly hardens again. "You're a son of Hermes."
"Obviously," Louis waves his spoon around at the rest of the Hermes table, "and
such a 'rare' thing, too. Lucky me."
His siblings start to laugh at his dry words (well, there's a reason why he
doesn't hate them) and it makes Liam blush with shame. He cares so much, tells
everyone how much, but he doesn't know Louis' name because Louis isn't worth
it. It doesn't sting (it does), he doesn't care (he does), he only wants to be
left alone (he doesn't), so he grins when Liam draws closer, finally angry.
He's beautiful when he's not smiling.
"Would it kill you to be nice to your fellow camp mates?"
Louis pretends to think. "Good question, head counsellor. What if it does kill
me? Perhaps I should consult the Apollo Cabin on that matter. I've never tried
it before, better not risk it while being alone. Also, I could be very nice to
some of them."
He shivers when more of that delicious red colour creeps over Liam's throat,
climbs into his face and makes him breathe heavily through his nose. He takes a
step forward and places both of his hands on the table, ducking his head to
catch Louis' eye. "Do you take anything seriously?"
Louis licks his lips. "No." And his eyes drop to Liam's mouth, so close, so
close, he could kiss him now.
But Liam punches him in the face instead. Louis punches him back. It quickly
turns into a brawl, with both of them tangled together like they're fighting
and fucking at the same time. Louis has always thought those two things were
very much related. But he still hates Liam, because if he cares so much, why
doesn't he care about Louis? I wish he would care about me like that, he
doesn't say, only thinks, with Liam's hand yanking at his hair, making him
scream. He kicks at Liam, punches him in the face repeatedly and curses him
under his breath. He curses Liam Payne because everybody wants to have him,
everybody wants a piece of his attention since he's Zeus' favourite son, the
golden son. He hates Liam because he can never have him.
When Chiron and Mr. D finally pull them apart and let them calm down they make
Louis apologise to Liam. He didn't even throw the first punch, so why?
"You're the older one," Chiron explains. "You should know better and you should
be a role model to your siblings."
Louis laughs hysterically. But they don't let him go until he apologises so he
does. Louis has no pride, so he has no trouble with lying either. He just
mutters it with fake remorse and gives Liam a look that tells him exactly how
much Louis doesn't mean his apology. Liam visibly grits his teeth and Louis
watches his jaw move. He wants to lick across it, wants to bite and nuzzle and
whisper filthy words into his skin. He doesn't (not because he's a coward or
anything but he reckons that it's probably not wise to do that while Chiron and
Mr. D are still present. Also, Liam might punch him again).
But Louis is glad that the dining pavilion incident happened because suddenly
Liam looks at him. He looks at him all the fucking time now, watches him with
that little frown whenever they pass by each other. In the arena Louis sits
close enough so Liam can see him. Liam, who is always surrounded by a crowd of
people, like he's the centre of the universe and everyone else revolves around
him. He wonders why the camp slut has never tried anything on him. With camp
slut he means Harry Styles and he probably shouldn't call him that because it's
not nice either. Good thing Liam can't read his mind. But Harry Styles is
currently sat next to an Athena boy and waves his hair around, talking with all
of his limbs until he slaps his arm into the face of an Apollo kid who sits
next to him. He loses his glasses from the impact and scoffs at Harry but Harry
is too busy with secuding the other boy to notice. So all the Apollo kid can do
is reach for his glasses and then turn back to talk to his brother.
(They don't know who they are yet. They don't know yet that they're born from
the universe, unlike regular humans, that there's a reason why they're
seemingly always next to each other by accident. They don't know yet that they
would die for each other one day and reshape the world just so they can always
live in it together. They don't know yet that they are soulmates and Louis
doesn't know it either, but years later he'll think back to this moment and
remember how beautiful Zayn had looked next to Niall.)
But no matter how much Liam looks at him, he also avoids Louis. He turns around
when Louis is approaching, makes sure to walk in his beloved crowds so no one
and nothing can touch him or even talk to him. Liam is avoiding him and it
makes Louis even more mad. He didn't want to resort to his abilities but Liam
leaves him no choice, so sneaking up on him is Louis' only option. He does it
in the evening when Liam is freshly showered and heading back to his cabin. It
was a hot day that became a warm night and he's wearing nothing but sweatpants
and a singlet, towel draped over one shoulder and his gaze fixed high as always
(he looks like he wants to walk in the sky but he's just a demigod, not a god).
His hair is still wet and he'll probably let it dry on his pillow like a
fucking idiot. There are drops of water running down his neck and fuckfuckfuck
Louis wants to lick them all away, wants to drink them up. He'd be content if
he only had to drink and eat from Liam for the rest of his life (He doesn't
even know what he means by that but it sounds important and profound, doesn't
it? Honestly, Louis is just winging everything 99% of the time).
He steps into view when Liam passes his tree and it's fast, quiet, Liam doesn't
even know what's happening until his back is pushed against that very tree.
"Louis," he gasps and Louis thinks that Liam is even hotter when he breathes
his name.
He's already close, touching Liam's body with his own but not pressing in,
giving him enough space to not feel trapped even though Louis wants nothing
more than to trap him. He doesn't believe that Liam can cure his loneliness (oh
shit, now he actually called it loneliness, fuck, abort abort) or anything
that's wrong with him and he doesn't think he wants that anyway. He just wants
Liam to be miserable with him.
"So you know my name now?" He raises an eyebrow.
Liam swallows. "Louis Tomlinson, son of Hermes, you came here eight years ago."
"Did you break into Chiron's office and read my file?" Louis grins.
But Liam only scoffs in return. "Why would I do that? I asked Chiron for it."
He stares at Liam. "Of fucking course you did, golden boy."
"What do you want from me?" Liam mutters and turns his head to the side, making
an extra point of not looking at Louis. It's cute.
"So much," he answers," but I'm too mad at you right now to take it."
"I know," Liam sighs but Louis is pretty sure that he doesn't know. But he
keeps that to himself, for now.
"Do you know everything? Of course you think you do, you prance around like
you're immortal. But you're not... you're just a boy like everyone else." It's
Louis who looks away this time so he can watch his own fingers trail over
Liam's arm, up, up, up to his shoulder and his collarbone. He catches a few of
the water drops with his thumb and then lifts it to his mouth, closing his eyes
as he tastes it. Of course it tastes of nothing because this is not a fucking
romance novel and this is just water, but he still makes a show of moaning and
humming like it's the best thing he's ever tasted. And maybe it is anyway,
because knowing that this little bit of water has touched Liam's skin is enough
to set the pit of his stomach on fire.
When he opens his eyes again Liam is gaping at him, jaw gone slack and his
chest is rising and falling just that little bit faster. Louis grins at him and
withdraws his thumb with a small popping sound before he hums again and finally
crowds in on Liam. He swallows hard, Louis can see his throat work and he wants
to plant a kiss or two right on it, wants to feel the beating of his vein right
against his lips.
"What do you want from me?" Liam asks again, more quietly this time but also
much more irritated. Ah, finally. He irritated Liam fucking Payne.
"What do you think I want?"
"I don't know... all I know is that you're weird and that you confuse me. You
don't work like normal people."
"That's right," Louis says and leans in. "So can I kiss you?"
Liam makes an alarmed noise in the back of his throat. "What?"
"Can I kiss you?" He says a little louder because maybe Liam temporarily lost
his hearing. It happens, he knows. He always has it whenever his mum starts a
sentence with 'don't'. It's a serious condition. "On your lips for now but I'm
not opposed to the rest of your body."
Another noise and then there's lots of blood flooding Liam's face. "Why?"
"Because I want to... You're really confusing too, you know? Always so good,
always so decent... A real people person, aren't you? I want to have a taste of
that. Didn't you want me to be nicer to everyone? Maybe having a bite from you
will help. Come on, don't you want to teach me?"
"Louis," he whispers and bites at his lips.
It dawns on Louis then and it almost makes him step back because the
realisation seriously fucks with his self-control. "Has no one ever kissed
you?"
"Louis," he whines this time and squirms against the rough bark of the tree.
"Don't."
"Shit," he breathes and can't help but lean in halfway. "No one has ever kissed
you. Fuck. What kind of sixteen year old are you? Do you have the libido of an
old man already?"
"Hey," Liam frowns. "There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right person.
Some people know how to value a good romance."
"I can't give you a good romance, Liam, only a bad one." (And Louis doesn't
know yet that Bad Romance will become their fucking song... It will be a joke
at first and then he'll love it.) "But I really want to kiss you, fuuuuck. Come
on, no one remembers their first kiss because it's always shit. Everyone calls
their second kiss their first kiss because it's better and probably with
someone they actually care about. Just use me, Liam, just take that kiss."
Louis swallows and looks into Liam's warm brown eyes that are blown wide with
something he can't name because Louis doesn't know shit about stuff like that.
He has kissed and fucked a lot but when has he ever looked them in the eye? "I
want you to, Liam. Just take it, you always take what you want, don't you?"
Liam shakes his head. "You never shut up, do you? You always talk but you don't
say anything."
"So they say, but I really don't know wh-"
Liam shuts him up with a kiss. He surges forward like a storm, like a lightning
bolt and Louis almost stumbles backwards. He has to hold on to Liam's shoulders
and then catches himself with one foot to press back with a sigh. It's dry and
warm and feels so good. Liam is clumsy, obviously, but his former shyness is
gone and he really seems to get into it, grabbing at Louis' face to keep him in
place, to take, like Louis had told him to. It's the new best thing in the
entire world (sorry mum) and he opens his lips to lick over Liam's, trying to
make him open up. But his lips stay sealed and Louis makes an unhappy noise
that causes Liam to break their kiss.
He leans back, away from Louis and even redder in the face now, spluttering
nonsense about not knowing why he did that and wow, how many high school
romances did he watch? Louis just snorts at Liam and cups his face almost
tenderly.
"Wasn't so bad, but I'm gonna give you a proper kiss now." Stubborn Liam
though, he still doesn't open his mouth when Louis kisses him and Louis doesn't
know whether he's just a fucking tease or scared. "Come on babe," he breathes
against Liam's lips. "Open up for me. I know I'm not your knight in shining
armour but you don't have to love me, just hate me for a while, yes? Just feel
something for me..."
There's that irritated noise again that Louis loves so much, that he wants to
lick out of Liam's mouth and that's what he finally gets to do when Liam moans
and parts his lip, holding on to the back of Louis shirt like a lifeline. It's
not sweet and not slow, it's hard and wet and sloppy and he wants to turn Liam
into a mess because this is his first kiss. He wants Liam to remember it, wants
him to recall it every time he kisses someone else. He wants it to be good for
Liam, so good. He would be good for Liam, would teach him how to slouch every
once in a while because no one can walk with a straight back forever. He just
wants Liam, he wants him, he doesn't hate him anymore, but he doesn't know how
to say it. So he doesn't say anything. He just keeps kissing Liam until they
can't breathe anymore, until they have to come up for air and the only air they
breathe is coming from each other.
Liam pants heavily, hooded eyes fixed on Louis' and fingers still clenched in
the fabric of his shirt. He looks wrecked and Louis likes that look. He likes
Liam.
He likes Liam. Fuck.
*
Louis can't feel his lips anymore. They're sore and a little chapped and so
fucking sensitive, it's like Liam chewed on them all day. Liam is a good
student though, always asking for some practice and Louis just can't say no.
Not even now, especially not now, with Liam knocking him down into the grass
behind the stables and climbing into his lap (seriously, all that grass has
probably grown from the come of a hundred horny demigods. Everyone's favourite
place is behind the stables and the pegasi might possibly be traumatised).
Every second of that kiss hurts and Louis isn't into pain, not at all, but
there's something satisfying about enduring it anyway. Liam can't get enough of
Louis and when has that ever happened to him? How long will it last? Louis
doesn't know so he lets Liam do anything he wants, will give him anything he
needs. He smooths his hands over Liam's thighs as he tips back his head and
lets Liam devour him, lets him force his tongue into Louis' mouth until they
taste like each other. He doesn't even know why Liam is still with him, he
could've kissed plenty of other people by now, he has enough experience to make
it good for them. But he doesn't leave, he still asks Louis for more and Louis
is so, so weak for him.
"Shouldn't you be at that head counsellors meeting?" Louis asks when they break
apart to take a deep breath. Their foreheads are still touching and he can feel
Liam's tight grip on his neck, ready to pull him in again.
"They can make it without me, just this once," he says impatiently and surges
forward again but Louis ducks his head, pressing his lips to Liam's throat
instead.
"My, my, the golden boy skipping his duties?" He hums against Liam's throat
before he looks up again. "You should be ashamed."
"Shut up, Louis," he grumbles and takes another kiss. Yeah, Louis quite likes
it when Liam takes what he wants. It also makes Louis think of Liam taking him
and that causes an ache in a different region of his body. Fuck, Liam is in his
lap, their dicks are only inches apart, only separated by fabric, and how is he
supposed to stay calm? There's nothing he wants more than to grab Liam by his
fit arse and thrust up against him. So that's what he does and it makes Liam
break away with a surprised gasp, hands flailing and then grabbing at Louis'
shoulders.
"Oh fuck," he curses and gives Louis a wide-eyed look.
Louis just grins, squeezing Liam's firm bottom with both hands before he does
it again. Louis is already half-hard and can feel Liam against his trousers,
heat seeping through them. He needs to get off, they both need to, and Louis
wants to do it with Liam (right now, all the time, possibly forever).
"L-Louis," Liam stutters but pushes back.
"Want me to get you off?" Louis whispers against Liam's mouth, briefly pressing
his own against it. "I could lend you a hand... or swallow you down until I
gag. Would you like that?"
Liam whimpers, just fucking whimpers like Louis is making him lose his mind,
even though the noises he makes drive Louis crazy. He won't survive this,
whatever this is, it will kill him so sweetly.
"I'd like that, but... I've never..."
"Never been touched by someone else? Yeah, I figured."
Liam whines and shakes his head before he drops it onto Louis' shoulder,
mumbled words muffled against his orange camp shirt. Louis can't make out the
words, doesn't know what Liam is trying to say but he knows anyway, he knows by
the way Liam clumsily grinds into his lap, by the way he doesn't seem to know
what to do.
"Don't tell me... don't fucking tell me you've never even touched yourself.
Liam, I swear to the gods. This is bullshit, how can you- how could you not-
fuck." He shoves both hands under Liam's thighs and then rolls them over until
Liam is splayed out beneath him like a starfish, skin so red it could easily be
on fire. He's so hot, so gorgeous, and he wants Louis. He wants Louis.
He kisses Liam, softly this time, because he looks terrified. Hopefully not of
Louis, just the situation. He can handle situations but he can't handle Liam
being scared of him. He shifts downwards, too impatient, too eager to make a
show for Liam, he just really wants to get that dick into his mouth like, ten
minutes ago.
"I'll make you feel so good, I promise," he croaks in anticipation, eyes
trained on Liam's face as he fumbles with the zip of his jeans. "You want me
to, right?"
Liam is chewing on his own lips, words apparently stuck in his throat but he
nods anyway. Louis wants to die because there's actual trust in his eyes, like
he trusts Louis and boy, you should never trust a Hermes kid. Not unless
they're utterly in love with you because then they'll sacrifice the whole world
just to be with you, to keep you safe (Louis can't even imagine what that would
feel like. Not yet).
Liam is hard and hot in his hand, vein at the bottom already throbbing with
need. Louis strokes him once to feel him, to get a sense of his shape, his
thickness, and it's already making that boy jerk his hips, making him moan
Louis' name. Oh fuck, he sounds really good when he moans his name. Louis goes
down on Liam only a heartbeat later, wrapping his lips around the dripping tip
to taste him properly.
"Oh fuck. Louis..."
Louis hums and takes him deeper into his watering mouth. He tastes good and
Louis wants to make him come so badly, wants to rock his world at least a
little. His lips still fucking hurt but who cares when he gets the chance to
suck the dick of Liam Payne? Besides, it's one of the few things Louis is good
at and he wants to make it so, so good for him. He doesn't get the chance.
You see, Liam is a needy sixteen year old who has never wanked in his life
because of his duties, so it's no surprise that he comes in Louis' mouth before
he got even started. He is not mad though and he tells Liam so when he
apologises, face red with shame. But Liam should never be ashamed of letting
loose, no. Louis won't let him because he likes that about him.
"S'fine," Louis mumbles and crawls up Liam's body with a smirk. "Just means we
have to work on your stamina... turn you into the shining warrior that you
are."
Liam's breath is still going rapidly and he barely gets out another apology
before Louis is kissing him with an open mouth, tongue slipping inside to make
him taste himself. Louis laughs hard when Liam pulls back with a disgusted
noise. Oh yeah, Louis has so much to teach him.
*
It goes on for months and Louis doesn't know what it is, what they are. They
hold hands and kiss by the lake and sometimes it's so utterly calm and soft
Louis feels like he's melting. He can kill a thousand eyed monster without
batting an eye but Liam's kiss turns him into hot liquid, making him yield in
mere seconds. It's peaceful in a way, but Louis knows it's only the calm before
the storm, before they're fighting again because they're always fighting.
Louis will do something childish and Liam will yell at him for it. Liam will
get all preachy on Louis until he feels like tearing his own hair out. So
obviously he yanks at Liam's hair instead and they end up in a bunch of limbs
on the floor. A day later Liam comes back with a new haircut, short on the
sides and longer on top. Louis hates it because it makes him look even more
handsome.
But this time he tugs at Liam's hair with a grin and Liam grins back, their
fight already forgotten because they both know it was pointless anyway. Liam
will always care a little too much and Louis will always not care enough. Maybe
that's just how they are and that can't be changed. But maybe that's also why
they'll never have a future together and Louis wants to cherish what they have
for as long as it lasts. Louis has stopped changing since he was ten years old
and he doesn't plan on changing now. What a ridiculous idea, his mum wouldn't
even recognise him.
Which makes it even more awkward when the following happens, completely by
accident and with no noble intention whatsoever: He helps someone out.
It's just that Liam is in another meeting again and Louis is boredboredbored,
there's nothing to do, no one to hassle, so what's the point? Louis is just
waiting, waiting to go back home to his mum and yes, maybe he is waiting for
Liam, too. They always meet by the lake to share some kisses during the sunset
because apparently that's the most romantic shit you could do. Louis hates
romances but if Liam insists...
Anyway, he's waiting for Liam when he sees two other Hermes kids pick on a fat
Hephaestus girl. He doesn't have to hear their words to know that they're
calling her names, he knows his siblings too well. He can also see the forced
mask the girl has put on, eyes trained forward, on nothing particular, it's
just so she doesn't have to look at them. She thinks they'll go away if she
ignores them, think they'll soon get bored of her, but it doesn't happen. Of
course not, Louis thinks. She isn't boring, she's easy. He feels the blood boil
in his stomach.
He fucks with the other kids everyday but not like that. People like her are
off-limits, they're already carrying the weight of the world on their
shoulders, like every other demigod, but also the weight of mankind who won't
accept them. Louis' rules are fairly easy: You only pick on the arrogant ones,
the ones that need to be taught a fucking lesson (and when will someone teach
Louis a lesson? He thinks about it every day, every night, every time someone
in camp gets a visit from their godly parent). You don't hurt the ones that are
already hurting. That's just cruel. But the reason why Louis feels so sick is
because those two Hermes kids, Talyn and Taron, are the only ones who sometimes
spend time with Louis. They listen to him like he's their big brother and that
means... that means they got this from him. He hates himself a little right
now.
"Enough," Louis hisses through his teeth and steps between his siblings and the
girl, a hand pressed against Taron's chest. "That's enough."
Taron frowns at him, obviously irritated. "Why?"
Why? That's what Louis always asks people because why should he stop? Never in
his life has he gotten a satisfying answer. He'll never be able to answer it
for himself but he knows how to answer the why of an arrogant Hermes kid.
"It's the dumbest thing you could ever do. Not just because it makes you an
asshole and everyone will think you're the scum of this camp, no. It's
strategy, really. She's a daughter of Hephaestus, right? She's coming from the
forge at this hour which means she's probably been born in one and has some
sick skills. One day this place blows up and we'll have to fight an army bigger
than the one during the titan's war. Who do you think will make your weapon
then?" Louis grins. "You want your sword sharp or blunt?"
It throws them off and they're suddenly nervous, sneaking a glance at the girl
before they turn to look for a better answer in each other. But they can't and
they stay silent, shrugging under Louis' hard gaze.
"Whatever, it's not worth it, I guess," Taron says and then turns to leave but
Louis keeps him in place with a hand on his shoulder.
"Okay, but you have to apologise first."
"What?"
"Just to lighten your burden when Dad takes you to the underworld one day
because you've died after two minutes with a blunt sword in your hand. So go
on, it might increase your chance on Elysium," he chirps with in faked light
mood.
"I'm sorry," Talyn says immediately, Louis' words apparently being more
effective on her than on Taron.
"Sorry," Taron grunts.
"Now," Louis steps aside with a huge grin and drapes an arm around the girl's
shoulders. "Do you accept their apology?"
"No," the girl deadpans with a cute pout and Louis has to try very hard not to
laugh.
"That's my girl," he chuckles. "Well, you tried. Now piss off."
They leave with hard frowns directed at Louis but he doesn't really care, as
soon as they turn their backs on them Louis looks at the girl and helps her
pick up the stuff she's been carrying back from the forge. Her fingers are all
dirty from it and there's dark ashes stuck to her face but her rainbow coloured
hair totally makes up for it.
"Thank you," she says at the same time as he says "sorry".
She blinks at him. "Why are you apologising?"
Louis shrugs. "They are kinda my fault so this mess is my fault too. I couldn't
make them apologise for real but at least now they'll leave you alone."
"I see," she smiles, which makes her round face look like the moon. It's not a
bad thing. "Thank you then. You're a good egg."
He snorts out a laugh. "Sure, it's my secret identity. Just don't tell anyone I
can actually be nice."
She gives a serious nod. "Your secret is safe with me, Tomlinson." Then she
bounces off like nothing has happened and Louis' smile quickly drops again. How
the fuck did she know his name?
He doesn't have much time to dwell on it though because a pair of arms suddenly
wind their way around him and a hot kiss presses against the back of his neck.
Even if Louis had a hundred lovers on the side he'd know Liam by the tightness
of his grip and the breath he lets go through his nose while he kisses him.
He'd know Liam by the shiver that runs down his own spine and the little jump
his heart makes. It all means nothing of course, just that his body is reacting
to Liam's annoying presence and attitude.
Which totally explains why he's sinking into Liam's arms, arms that have become
so strong over the past few months since Liam started to work out, since he
grew another few inches and finally lost the lanky body of a boy. It totally
explains why he tries to shift around with a needy sigh, why he welcomes that
kiss like a starving man. He's addicted to Liam, simple as that, and there's
nothing good about it (liar, liar, pants on fire).
"I can't believe you," Liam says after pulling away, thumb rubbing over Louis'
bottom lip, smearing his own spit across. Louis wants to lick at it. "All this
time and you just-"
"What?" Louis is so confused. "What did I do?"
"I saw you," Liam says with a pleased grin. "Saw you helping that girl."
"Oh," Louis laughs awkwardly. "It was an accident."
"Sure it was." Liam puckers his lips to suppress a smile but fails utterly.
"It's not like you could've just let it happen... or watch it, like you
sometimes like to. It's like a soap opera for you."
"It wasn't like that," Louis admits quietly but then quickly steals another
kiss to make Liam forget about it. It seems his kissing abilities don't go that
far though, maybe an Aphrodite kid could erase a mind with their perky lips,
but not Louis. Liam is still fucking smiling and Louis wants to hide somewhere.
"Please don't make fun of me."
Liam's smile falters. "Why would I make fun of you?"
Louis shrugs nonchalantly and turns his head away, looking at nothing. "We all
get weak sometimes."
"Oh Louis, you're a fucking idiot", Liam says and drags their lips together,
hands tilting Louis the right way, the perfect way, for them to press into each
other with their whole bodies. It's Louis' favourite way of kissing Liam and
he's ready to go on his knees and suck his dick. But then they're parting again
and Liam's nose rubs over his cheek bone. "I'm not laughing at you, I'm proud
of you for recognising that someone needed help. I'm proud of you for caring."
Louis sighs and rolls his eyes which only makes Liam smile harder because he
knows he caught him there. So annoying. Okay, maybe Liam has corrupted him a
little. Maybe making fun of people isn't that much fun after all.
"Whatever," he coughs and then grins at Liam. "What do you want to do now?"
Liam shrugs. "Let's do something reckless."
Well, maybe he has corrupted Liam, too.
*
"I can shift since I'm eleven years old, I'm just trying not to," Liam explains
with an annoyed expression on his face.
"But why?" Louis doesn't get it.
"I don't want to hurt anyone." Liam folds his arms over his chest, leaning
against the outside wall of the arena. They have it to themselves for the next
few hours, Louis' gift to Liam so can improve on his abilities. He had half-
shifted into a lightning bolt on the climbing wall the other day, making
everyone regard him with even more awe and admiration. Louis wanted to pick
their eyes out like a jealous idiot.
"So noble." Louis rolls his eyes. "But there'll be no one in the arena but us."
Liam squirms a little against the wall. "I don't want to hurt you."
Louis tries not to cry from the fluttery feeling in his chest. "You can hurt
me," he says with a shrug.
"You don't like the pain. Or any pain," Liam snorts.
(No, but I like you) "Doesn't matter. If it helps you..."
"So noble..." Liam grins at him and Louis feels himself blush, like he's been
caught red-handed.
"Shut up, mighty son of Zeus. We'll do this."
Liam sighs. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."
"Aw, but you know I'll say it anyway."
"Yeah, I know..." Louis loves the softness and the warmth of Liam's smile, of
his eyes, of his whole being. He doesn't think Liam is anything like Zeus. He
probably got it all from his mum.
They're holding hands as they enter the arena and Louis doesn't even know who
took whose hand (it was Louis) but it has become such a familiar feeling, rough
skin against rough skin, calloused from training with sword and daggers. He
loves sparring with Liam, loves winning against him, loves losing against him.
It doesn't matter whether he's on top or not, not with Liam. It's kind of nice.
"So you can't control it?" Louis asks and walks backward, their fingers still
loosely connected.
"Not really. I never wanted to, I just tried to push it down. It's
dangerous..." Liam squeezes Louis' hand and they halt in the middle of the
arena, surrounded by empty rows and empty seats. So the only eyes on Liam are
Louis' and Louis quite likes that.
"It's a part of you. You can't hide from that."
"I'm not hiding," Liam grunts.
"Yes you are, babe." He grins and lets go of Liam's hand, taking a few steps
back with his arms spread. "You have all the space here, you don't have to be
worried about hurting anyone. If your skin feels too small you can just let
go."
But Liam just stands there awkwardly, always so in control, always holding
back. No wonder he's so fucking decent. It almost takes an hour for Louis to
finally get Liam into trying but all his skin does is tremble with little hints
of lightning licking over his skin. He's worried, Louis can see it in his face
and he doesn't fucking know how to give therapy to someone. He doesn't know
where to start, what to say, what to ask, even though he's usually good with
questions.
But he's not used to see Liam being so terrified of something that he's
sweating through his clothes, hands shaking, even when he balls them into
fists. He's not used to Liam being the one who struggles, who hides something.
He is hiding something but Louis can't just ask him what's wrong or why he's
scared. It's too direct, too triggering, and will only make Liam close up.
That's why he doesn't ask, not until Liam slumps to the ground, wiping the
sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Hey," Louis mumbles and crouches down in front of Liam, hands on his pulled up
knees. "Don't kill yourself over this, okay?"
"M'not... This will never kill me, only others."
Louis breath hitches at the coldness and the spite in Liam's voice. He digs his
blunt nails into Liam's knees. "What happened when you were eleven?"
Liam actually fucking flinches because apparently Louis hit him right where it
hurts. Louis could slap himself because he's just really good at asking
questions, isn't he? He never meant to hurt with them though, least of all
Liam.
"I..." Liam covers Louis' hands with his own, his nails much sharper than
Louis' but Louis doesn't mind. All the pain, that's what he'd carry for this
boy. "I almost killed someone."
Louis stares at him. "What?"
"I almost... almost killed my cousin." He's taking a deep breath, swallowing
down the fear of the memory. "When I was little I got bullied all the time,
even by some distant family members. I wanted them to like me but they never
liked me back. Theresa was the worst and I... I always just endured it. Until I
lashed out and shifted right through her to get away. Everyone was screaming,
Lou, and I didn't even understand what had happen until the medics took her
with them. She survived but she had a heart condition ever since and I'm just
so-"
Louis cuts him off with a kiss to his forehead. Not because he wants to silence
Liam or tell him that it wasn't his fault or that it is in the past. Of course
it was his fault, his abilities are his responsibilities after all. But that
doesn't mean he's a bad person and it doesn't mean Liam can just hate himself
for it. So Louis won't let him spiral down in that guilt trip, won't let him
talk badly about himself.
"You punished yourself through all of that, didn't you?" His lips linger
against Liam's face, carefully caressing him. "Shit, is that why you care so
much?"
Liam shakes his head. "No, I always cared... but that made me an easy target,
too."
"Of course," Louis whispers and presses lingering kisses all over his face.
"Stop hurting yourself over this. You can't make up for what you did unless you
master it."
Liam's eyes are so huge and full of hurt. And isn't it just a fucking irony
that Liam Payne is in so much pain right now? Talking about telling names in
shitty novels. "I'm... kinda scared."
"Would be weird if you weren't. But that's exactly why you have to keep going.
You're allowed to stop hurting and you're allowed to stop being scared. Now, I
don't know much about charges for attempted murder but I'm pretty sure 5 years
of making yourself suffer is enough punishment."
And Liam is laughing with tears in his eyes, knocking his forehead against
Louis. "Maybe... I don't know, who decides how much I deserve for what I did?"
"No one, babe," Louis whispers. "That's exactly the point. I didn't want to say
it, but... you were just a kid. You just discovered your power, it's a scary
thing."
Liam presses his lips into a thin line, taking another deep breath through his
nose before he blinks his tears away. "You know, back then I thought... I
thought maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I thought maybe the gods were
taking her to compensate for my life. I wasn't supposed to live."
Louis jerks his head back. "What? What do you mean?"
"I was a stillborn, Lou... I was effectively dead for far too fucking long.
They couldn't reanimate me and my mum told me... she said suddenly all the
lightbulbs exploded and every electronic device in the room stopped working. It
was in the middle of the night and there was a storm raging outside, it was
completely dark and then... then she heard me starting to cry." Liam lowers his
gaze and chews on his bottom lip. "I should've been dead, I was probably on my
way down but... something held me back. I thought maybe Theresa had to pay with
her life, had to give the soul that was missing from the underworld... but then
she survived and I didn't know what to do. Do you get it now? I knew about my
powers while I was growing up but I never bothered to learn them properly. I
never took the responsibility. And now I'm too fucking scared."
"Liam," Louis smiles like the sun has just gone up, even though it's actually
going down. "It was you, idiot. It came from yourself, your own strength.
You're Zeus' fucking favourite son, you have so much power inside of you that
you brought yourself back from the dead. What the fuck, you can do anything.
Fuck what happened when you were eleven. You can't change that anymore and
she'll probably never forgive you, which is fine. You don't need her
forgiveness to keep on living, you just need to forgive yourself. And well," he
sighs theatrically, "if you want my forgiveness, then I guess I can give it to
you."
"Why would I want your forgiveness, silly?" Louis likes how he effectively made
Liam stop crying. He's a bit proud of himself. Fuck, being decent can feel
really fucking good.
"Because you punched me in the face when we first 'met' and I got all the
blame."
"I'm sorry."
Louis snorts. "Liam, I'm just fucking with you."
That makes Liam smile again. "I know."
… Oh. Well, then. They seem to know each other quite well by now.
"Okay," Louis coughs. "I have no idea how this ability thing works but I'm
pretty sure you need an anchor."
"Like what?" Liam slowly gets up from the ground and pats the dust off his
jeans.
"I don't know, anything that keeps you grounded when you feel like you're
losing it. A memory, a person..."
Liam watches him intensely, so intense in fact that Louis feels his face heat
up. "Yeah... a person. Got it."
Louis shakes his head and punches Liam in the shoulder. "Not me, never me."
"Why not?" Liam scowls like a stubborn child.
"Because I don't keep people grounded, quite the opposite actually."
"Well, maybe that's what I actually need?" Liam steps forward, hands already
reaching out for Louis and he swallows down the strong urge to pull away. He's
vulnerable. Whenever he's with Liam he feels vulnerable and it scares him, too.
"Maybe you're what I need."
"Oh gods, I can't believe you just said that," Louis groans. "That totally
ruined the moment."
"Hey..."
"Come on, babe," Louis tries to ignore the heat in his gut. "We'll do it my
way, not the right way." He points at the sky. "You wanna go there? Just
fucking go for it."
Liam looks at him nervously and then at his own hands. "It's not that easy
though."
"But it is!" Louis gives in to another urge when he sees Liam look at him like
a lost puppy, he gives in and kisses Liam hard on the mouth, breathing in as
their lips meet. There's a wet sound when he steps back again and grins at
Liam. "You're a thunderstorm, Liam. You're the son of Zeus, you don't have to
be afraid of anything. As soon as you let go of that fear you won't hurt
anyone, I promise you."
"How can you promise that?" Liam mutters and touches his own lips, touches the
kiss Louis' has put there a moment ago. "You can't know that."
"I can, because I know you. You're a protector, Liam, and all you did back then
was protect yourself. So if you lash out again one day they probably deserve
it. Believe me, in court you'd get away with it."
Liam stares at Louis, frowning. "Why the fuck does everything you say sound so
reasonable? I can't believe you can talk me into stuff like this every time."
Louis puts both hands on his hips and flips his awfully short hair. "Because
I'm always right. You're gonna have to work hard on it but it's worth it, okay?
And you don't have to go alone." He taps the ground with the tip of his shoe
and the wings on them suddenly come alive, impatient and eager, like Louis.
They are part of him now and he wonders why that is. Do they know they have
been stolen?
"Woah, where did you get those?" Liam's eyes almost pop out.
"Birthday present from my dad," Louis lies and then takes off into the sky.
"Now, you better not let a son of Hermes beat you, huh?"
Liam looks up at him, watches him rise higher and higher. Liam just needs a
good experience, one good experience so he'll know that it's not a power to be
feared but to be mastered. And Liam fucking Payne can do anything, Louis knows
that. He has seen Liam break up a fight between the entire Aphrodite cabin and
the Demeter cabin when not even Mr. D or Chiron knew what to do. Liam is so
incredible strong, he's like one of the power rangers Louis loved as a kid,
like the ones still pictured on his blanket back home. He's strong and brave
and yes, he can be afraid. Fear is an instinct that keeps one alive but
sometimes just being alive isn't enough. He has to live and he can only do that
by overcoming his fear. All Louis can do is offer him a hand.
Liam is breathing heavily, concentrating on himself with his eyes closed. Of
course it must be hard, Louis thinks, to let go of your meat suit to become
something else, but he's also pretty sure that Liam will learn to love it, that
it will make him feel free. Maybe he'll even relax a little and stop being so
serious all the time. Then again, it's already gotten better and that's
probably Louis' fault. But he believes in Liam and cares about him and maybe
that helps because it helps Louis, knowing that Liam also cares about him. It
sets him free in a different way.
He watches in delight when Liam's body finally breaks open. It starts with his
hands, where his fingers peel away from his arms, sizzling and cracking as they
turn into pure white ribbons of light. It's not just on Liam's skin, this is
inside of him, always crawling underneath. It's beautiful to see his body
unwind like a spiral, flesh shifting into electricity and making him even
stronger, bigger, faster. Louis knew it would look amazing but he didn't think
it would be that overwhelming. Liam truly is a force of nature and Louis wants
to be the one who tames that storm, who rides on it like one would ride on the
back of a hurricane.
It's beautiful and then he's just pure lightning climbing up into the sky,
following Louis and Louis grins widely, madly, as he keeps flying. His shoes
obviously aren't as fast and won't get him as high, but Liam follows him and
that's all he ever wished for, really. Someone who doesn't walk away when he's
mean, someone who follows him when he's mad. Someone who looks after him and
someone he can look after, too.
Liam races past him a moment later and he feels his skin prickle and his hair
stick up like he's been rubbing a balloon all over it. This is Liam, that's who
he is and Louis will make sure he'll never lose himself again. Liam practically
disappears into the clouds and Louis grins and watches how they light up with
thunder, how Liam basically explodes and comes all over them with this pure
essence of his. It's the highest Louis can go and he feels his wings starting
to get tired, so he slowly floats back down until he hits earth again, watching
proudly as Liam spirals down along with him.
Louis has the strong and strange urge to touch Liam when he's like this, to
kiss him, even if it kills him, he believes it would be worth it. Then Louis
reaches out with his hands anyway, beckons Liam over with his fingers and a
smile. But as soon as he flies into Louis arms he is back in the flesh again,
holding on to Louis like a lifeline. He smells a little burnt and of petrichor,
the best smell in the world, in Louis' opinion. They laugh and Louis shakes him
almost violently, grinning from one ear to the other.
"Sick, Liam! This was so sick, oh my gods. I told you, you could do it! You're
really fucking amazing."
The way Liam smiles at him, so grateful, so proud of himself as well... it
makes Louis' heart swell, almost forces it out of his chest because there's not
enough room for it. He kisses Liam, whispers praises into his mouth, against
his lips, and Liam whimpers but surges forward, taking control with his hands
knotted tightly in Louis' hair. He's still high on adrenaline and so giddy in
Louis' arms, giggling and moaning.
"It didn't hurt me and I didn't hurt you," Liam gasps after pulling away and
cradling Louis' face. He looks so confused but also really happy. "Thank you."
"I didn't do anything, not yet anyway. We still have a lot of work to do but...
I'm with you every step of the way, up and down, I promise." Gods, he'd do
anything for Liam, he'd do anything to make him happy. He is great, he really
is, and Louis always feels drawn to the great ones, that's why he hates them.
Because they'll never feel the same for him, they'll always just see the loser
and the fuck up. But somehow Liam is here, looking at him differently... like
someone who could fall in love with him. And Louis knows he's screwed because
obviously he's very much in love with Liam already. "Fuck."
Liam blinks at Louis' sudden outburst, his realisation, because he doesn't know
yet how much Louis is in love with him. "What is it?"
"Just... be my boyfriend, okay?" Louis gives him an exaggerated smirk. "We
would be a good team and you'd have an excuse to skip your duties every once in
a while."
But Liam just frowns at him, shaking his head. "I don't want you to my
boyfriend because of that. It should be because you like me."
Louis visibly deflates. He's not made for serious conversations, it makes
everything real and scary. But he'll try, for Liam. Because of course he likes
him! A real fucking loads. So he leans over, lips pressed against Liam's ear
because he can say it, but he can't say it while looking Liam in the eye, not
yet at least.
"I really fucking like you. I like you so much that I can't eat sometimes
because I want to be with you all the damn time. And for as long as you're my
boyfriend I'll never leave your side, I hope you know that. I just want you to
know what you get yourself into. I'll make sure you're okay and... if anyone
ever picks on you again they'll meet my wrath. I protect what's mine at all
costs, Liam. So do you really want to be mine?"
And Liam just turns his head, Louis can feel their skin brushing, and then
there are lips on his, hungry and open, giving him weak knees all over again.
Well, it's a good thing then that they're already on the ground. Louis hooks
the crook of his elbow around Liam's neck, pulling him in until their chests
are flush together, making it harder to breathe but it also turns the kiss into
something more sloppy and more desperate. Liam sucks on Louis' tongue with both
hands on his back, apparently just as reluctant to stop or let go. But they
have to stop at one point and then Liam still keeps him close, still breathes
him in.
"Yes, yes, yes," he says, so sure of it, so sure of them. "I want to be yours
and I want you to be my boyfriend."
Louis just smiles and he won't insult Liam's feelings by asking why. "Good." He
nods and kisses Liam again.
It's a bit strange because wow, Louis Tomlinson has fallen in love and he
doesn't want to get out. He wants to stay right here, where it's perfect.
Almost perfect.
*
Here's the thing though: Louis is a jealous prick, even a year after they first
kissed. They're still fighting, they're still making up and they're still
kissing. They haven't said that they love each other yet and frankly, Louis is
way too fucking afraid to say it. Which is funny, because he's been teaching
Liam how important it is to overcome your fears. But everyone knows that even
when you give the best advices in the world it doesn't mean you follow them
yourself. So Louis gets high on every person that talks to Liam, plans the
murder of at least ten campers and complains to Liam all the time. Liam only
seems mildly bothered by it but a few days later they get into another nasty
fight which results in Louis not talking to his boyfriend for a whole week.
It's easy for Liam because he has so many responsibilities anyway, he probably
doesn't even have the time to miss Louis.
The worst thing is the looks other campers give him, so smug, like they knew it
would fall apart one day. Well, maybe Louis knew it too. But he's still not
great at talking about the serious stuff, he'd rather cry into his pillow at
night than open up and prevent the worst. Louis is far better at being
miserable on his own. At least it's easy to be excited about going home and
seeing his mum, she's already expecting him. He had thought about asking Liam
to come with him but he won't embarrass himself by actually doing it. Liam
would probably tell him no.
"What are you doing?"
Louis twists around to see Liam in the middle of the Hermes cabin, looking at
him with that irritated frown. There was a time when he really wanted to
irritate Liam but that time is long gone now. He'd rather have Liam be happy
with him.
"Packing my stuff, I'm going home for the next few weeks." He turns around
again, he can't look at Liam right now.
"I'm.... my birthday is next week."
"Yeah... at least I won't be around to tell you what to do, right? You'll be
free of me."
"Louis," Liam whines. "That's not what I meant and it's definitely not what I
said. Why can't we just talk about it?"
With a sigh Louis rises to his feet and shoulders his bag. He's never bringing
a lot of stuff here so he doesn't have to take much back. "We've talked about
it enough. Maybe not talking is exactly what we need?"
"You've already avoided me for a week, how much longer do you want it to be?"
Liam is growing angry now and he should be. There's no reason in Louis'
jealousy, so there's nothing to understand either.
"As much as we need, I guess," Louis says like he doesn't care, like it's not
tearing him apart to be away from Liam, but Louis has started to care a long
time ago and he can't stop now.
He moves past Liam with his gaze fixed on the floor and of course he tries to
hold on to Louis with a strong hand wrapped around his biceps. But it's more
like he's trying to scold a child and gods, that's just the two of them, isn't
it? Always going back and forth between being responsible and irresponsible, no
wonder they're so fucked up. No wonder they're always fighting.
"Louis, please don't leave like that."
"I'm not leaving," Louis relents, softening his voice when he finally looks at
Liam. "I'm coming back, yeah? Just do your thing and be happy for a while."
"Louis-"
"See you in a few weeks."
He's running then. He's always fucking running.
*
His mum isn't home yet when he arrives but he's used to that. His mother is a
hard working lady and he was alone during most of his childhood, just waiting
for mum to come home. Never once in his life has he been angry about it though,
because he always knew he'd be living on the streets if it wasn't for her. When
she came home, no matter how late, she'd always make sure he's tucked in
properly, always make sure to kiss him goodnight. Whenever she could take a day
off she'd spend it with him and she never spent a single dollar on herself. If
there's anything he doesn't doubt then it's his mother's love for him and he'll
forever be grateful for that. It will always make up for the thousands of ways
Hermes fucked up.
So he knows how to busy himself while she's gone, knows how to cook for himself
and he even starts to clean the flat a little. It always comes a bit short
because of her long working hours. But when she comes home today he'll have her
to himself for the whole summer, just the two of them. He's a grown up now, he
has fucking stubble on his cheeks but he'll always be her boy and she'll always
be the best mum.
So when he hears the door open he doesn't even wait for her to enter, he
basically runs her over and clings to her when she's barely inside. He has
missed her, he always misses her.
"Mum," he sobs without meaning to and squeezes his eyes shut.
"Louis!" He can hear the smile in her voice and then her arms are around him,
holding him so close that he sighs in relief. Yeah, here he doesn't have to
worry about anything. Her hands come up to cradle his face and she beams at
him, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "There's my baby."
Louis sniffs a little and then nods. "Yeah, I'm home."
*
He's spending all of his time with her. For days they just watch movies
together, go to the park, go swimming, talk about everything and nothing. Louis
carefully avoids the topic of Liam because he doesn't want to talk about Liam,
doesn't even want to think about him. But he still thinks about him all the
time, whenever he's not talking, whenever he hears the rumbling in the sky,
even when it's just a plane. He misses Liam but he won't admit it out loud.
They are going shopping one day, with his mother's arm hooked through his, and
shopping mostly means window shopping for them. Not because they don't have the
money (well that too), it's more because Louis is banned from most of the
shops. He's been stealing all his life and when he was little he didn't
actually know how to be sneaky. These days is different, he has mastered that
ability and he won't get caught ever again. He's only sorry for all the trouble
he got his mother into.
"So, how long until we can go back into this one?" Louis points at a toy store.
"Five more years," his mother says.
"Dear Zeus, I can't even remember what I stole..."
"It was a gigantic water gun and you just tried to walk out through the front
door with it."
"Can't believe they banned me for that long though... I was just a kid."
"A very rude kid," his mother chides him with a smile. "But I thought it was a
little hilarious how you didn't even think about it and just walked out."
Louis smiles and jerks his head at a clothing store next. "That one?"
"Another year I'm afraid. If you'd only tried to sneak one shirt out instead of
five you might have gotten away with it."
Louis shrugs and grins at his mum. "We all learn and I'm an expert now, so if
you need anything, just tell me. Or we could do it together."
She rolls her eyes at him. "My thieving days are long gone, Lou. I served my
time and now I'm a respectable citizen."
Louis frowns. "Who has to work minimum wage because that's how much they
respect ex-convicts, mum. This country gives nothing back so you should take
whatever you want. Well, I will take whatever you want, just name it."
Her smile turns a little sad then and she leans over to kiss his cheek. "My
baby has grown up, hasn't he?"
Louis huffs. "I guess I have, but not intentionally. They handed out free
samples back in camp and someone hit me right in the face with it." Liam. Liam
hit him right in the face. "Unfortunately, with free samples you don't have any
rights to return unsatisfactory products."
"And you shouldn't," his mother chuckles with a squeeze to his arm. "It kind of
suits you, even though it's not your colour."
He frowns. "What colour?"
"Red." She pokes him in the cheek with her free hand, grinning the same way he
does. "Like you're in love."
"What?" He squeaks. "False accusations can get you in prison, too!"
"I think as a mum I'll get away with it," she hums but doesn't press the topic
any further, even though Louis feels extremely red in the face right now.
"Anyway, where do you want to go since I'm banned from 90% of the stores?"
"Well," she leads him around the corner and they're walking towards Louis'
favourite gaming store where he had stolen more games than he can count, until
he got caught one day. "Today is the day you're finally allowed to set foot
inside again."
Sneaky mum, he thinks and beams at her. He totally forgot about it, he was
pretty sure there were a few years left. If you're caught as an adult you
usually get a lifelong ban, but they're a little softer on children. This might
actually be the best day of his life.
"This is the best day of my life," he tells her and sniffles for emphasis,
wiping away a fake tear. "So what can I steal?"
"Louis," she laughs. "I actually saved a bit of money over the year so you can
choose one expensive game or two cheap games. Whatever you want."
"Sick," he wheezes and bounces right off, with his mum on his heels. This will
be a good day.
*
Louis and his mother are sitting on the small balcony with a shitty view on the
building next to theirs. But he doesn't care, there's enough sun hitting their
faces and pizza on the table and some trashy summer music on the radio. That's
all he'll ever need. He hums along to the radio while he nibbles on a slice of
pizza, wondering how life is back at Camp Half-Blood. He usually doesn't think
about that place when he's home, why would he? But now... He just hopes Liam
isn't overworking himself. He hopes Liam takes a break every once in a while
and spends it with a friend, he has so many friends, right? He's working so
hard to fulfil his duties, to get a hang of his shifting ability and to be
there for everyone else. And Louis, he supposes. Louis and his drama.
Wow, shit.
When he looks at it from afar, with some distance, away from camp and Liam and
his own feelings... then he doesn't really know why he's so jealous all the
time. Of course it has nothing to do with Liam and everything to do with Louis
but he didn't know how to make that feeling stop. He still doesn't know,
doesn't know what happens after he goes back, doesn't know what he'll do in
case Liam decides to move on without him. No one stays with their first
boyfriend forever.
"So, who is it?" His mum suddenly asks.
"Huh?"
"Who do you sigh about all the time?"
"I'm not sighing," he sighs.
"You've never been so quiet before..." She sounds worried and he doesn't like
that, he doesn't like to see her worried.
"You already said that I've grown up. Grown up people are more quiet and become
super depressive," he reasons and offers her his best smile. "And they sigh a
lot."
"No, that's not what growing up is about," she says with a shake of her head.
"And I know that look too well. It's what I looked like when your Dad left."
Louis' stomach sinks at her words, at the implication that Louis has been left,
too. Has he? No, because he was the one who left. It's his own fault.
"Mum..." He turns his head and looks into her warm face that is illuminated by
the sun. Her smile is patient and kind and has that little hint of knowing. Of
course she knows, that's why she asked him in the first place and it makes it
easier for him to tell her. "I have a boyfriend... or... or had. I don't know."
And he tells her everything, how they met, how Louis was a prick, how Liam was
the perfect paragon that everyone looked up to, how they got together, how they
became boyfriends... how Louis left.
She listens to him through all of it while she holds his hand, thumb stroking
over his knuckles to calm him down. It's another thing he loves about his mum:
she never makes him feel like there's anything he can't tell her. He never even
tried to hide the things he stole as a kid and he just knew that she was at
least a little proud of him, even when she yelled at him. And even now, when
there's finally something serious going on in his life, something he cares
about, she smiles like she is still proud. But why? He fucked it all up and he
probably lost Liam. He's quite sure of that by now.
"I'm proud of you, baby," his mum says and gets up from her chair to wrap her
arms around him and press his head against her chest. "So proud that you
finally get to make the mistakes every normal young man should make. You're
doing well."
He's shaking with tears and he doesn't know why. He doesn't want to let it out,
he's better at swallowing it all down, but he can't now, not with his mum
saying deep shit like that. She always knows how to get the tears out of him.
Not the bad ones, but the ones that are needed.
"I screwed up, mum." His voice is muffled against her shirt. "I screwed up and
I don't think he'll take me back."
"Do you love him?"
"I... think so."
"Then it will be okay, one way or another. Because I'm sure he loves you too.
Who wouldn't love my sweet boy, hm? Anyone who puts up with a Tomlinson for
longer than a week is the real deal, Louis. That's why it didn't work out with
your father and me. But everything will work out just fine for you."
His breath hitches and he can't believe he's crying like a little boy, right
here on the balcony where every nosy neighbour can see them. "You're just
saying that because you're my mum..."
"Yes, maybe." She places a soft kiss on the top of his head and then shifts to
look at him. "And mums are always right."
Louis takes a deep breath, feeling like he actually can take a breath for the
first time since he left Camp Half-Blood, since he fought with Liam.
"Okay, mum."
*
It's Liam's birthday and Louis feels depressed. He goes back to bed right after
breakfast, just dressed in yellow shorts and a loose singlet, trying to
distract himself with one of the video games his mum bought him at the store.
He always gets completely sucked in when he's at his console and Bioshock just
really gets to him with all the shiny colours and the flashing effects. He
knows he's probably too hyper-focused and it will worsen his ADHD but maybe he
needs that today. He needs it so he doesn't think too much about Liam.
He's thought about turning his phone on to send him a quick message but it
could make everything worse for Liam in case he's trying to forget about Louis.
He even contemplates to never go back to Camp Half-Blood. He knows campers his
age never stay that long because most of them die. But some lucky ones leave
after becoming adults and go off to college or get jobs and start families. But
Louis just isn't like that and Chiron is too nice to kick him out. Maybe it's
time now. He could just leave and finally start his career as a crime lord....
Mum will be so proud.
As if on cue there's a knock on the door (yeah, his mum knocks. She's not like
other mums) and he makes a grunting noise, eyes still fixed on the screen when
she steps inside.
"You have a visitor," she blurts out, coming straight to the point as always.
Louis pauses the game to gape at her. "What? Who? Is it the postman? Tell him
I'm not in the mood to suck his dick today."
His mother snorts with laughter. "If anything he'd be here for me."
"… Gross, mum."
"You started it. No, it's a boy in one of those ugly orange camp shirts and he
wants to see you. He says his name is Liam."
Louis loses his grip on the controller and since he's been resting his elbows
on the edge of the bed it's dropping to the floor like the titanic hitting the
bottom of the ocean. Liam. Liam is here? What the fuck. Or maybe his mum is
messing with him? But she can't know Liam's name unless Louis has mumbled it
pathetically in his sleep.... which he didn't. (Or did he?!)
"He's not here," he says with a frown.
"He is." His mother frowns back. "Can I send him in now? He's still waiting by
the door."
"Mum," he whines. "I haven't showered in two days and I'm wearing yellow
shorts, he can't come in."
"It's the ultimate test then. Will he love you, unshowered and in yellow
shorts? We're about to find out," she says mysteriously and closes the door.
"Ugh," Louis rolls over and lets his head hang over the bed so he can see the
screen upside down. There's no point in trying to make himself look more
presentable now, he'll only make it worse probably. And there are worse things
than yellow shorts.... they could be golden.
When the door opens again Louis doesn't tense up, doesn't feel the urge to run.
Instead he's lifting his head and pushing himself up on one elbow to face Liam.
Okay, wow... Liam looks pretty unshowered, too. He seems a little wrecked and
he's staring at Louis, swallowing hard.
"What are you doing here?" Louis asks and then archs his back like a
supermodel. "You're probably not here to draw me like one of your French girls,
huh?"
"I can't draw," Liam mumbles and finally closes the door behind him.
"Of course you can't," Louis snorts. "It was just... never mind."
"You were just trying to lighten the mood by ruining the mood. Got it."
Louis can't help but grin because he's still very much in love with Liam. Liam
gets him, fuck. "You got me."
"Do I?" Liam starts twisting the front of his shirt, looking so lost, like he's
scared and it scares Louis in return because Liam is supposed to be happy
without him. "Do I have you?"
Louis sits up carefully and crosses his legs on the blanket (the super awkward
power rangers blanket, oh gods) before he regards Liam with a seemingly calm
stare. On the inside he's screaming.
"I don't know... do you still want to?"
"Can you stop answering my questions with questions? Just answer me for once,
straight forward." When Louis doesn't respond he adds a little more quietly,
"please."
Louis understands the helplessness but only because he's feeling it himself, he
didn't think he'd ever see it on Liam. But for his sake he'll do it. He'll be
raw and honest and he won't hold anything back. He'll even try to look at Liam.
The things you do for love.
"Come here," Louis says and pats at the empty spot on the bed. Liam pads over
reluctantly, scrubbing a hand down his face before he slumps down. Right next
to him. He doesn't leave any space between them. That's a good sign, right?
Gods, Louis wants to touch him. "Now listen... I'm sorry for taking off like
that. It's very immature and even though I tell everybody how much I'm not a
grown up I should probably face the truth that I am one and that I should act
on it. At least where it's important because you are important, Liam." And he
finally looks at him, tries to hold Liam's gaze even though it's the hardest
thing he's ever done. "So yes, you got me, even when you don't want me
anymore."
He feels his own heart pound at the implication but he had to slip it in. He
needs to know what exactly Liam is here for.
"Louis..." Liam looks hurt and soft at the same time with a storm behind his
eyes that makes Louis unable to look away. "I always want you."
The knot in his chest loosens with hope. "Yeah?"
"Of course. That's why I didn't want you to leave, idiot. You're the most
childish person I know but also the funniest, the bravest and the most
generous." Liam smiles fondly at him now, hand reaching out for Louis'. "You
infuriate me sometimes, a lot of times, but I kind of like that too? You're
amazing."
Louis feels the urge to smack Liam in the face with his pillow. How can he say
something awkward like that without falling apart? It's perfect and makes
Louis' heart flutter like a dick in the wind. Or maybe like a small bird, fuck,
he doesn't even know. But he wants to kiss Liam pretty badly.
"Well, that's... thanks," he chokes out and scrunches up his nose so he doesn't
do something embarrassing like crying. "That's cool. So you don't want a new
boyfriend or girlfriend to replace me?"
Liam squeezes Louis' hand really hard. "No. No I don't. So please don't worry
about it anymore, okay? I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want you,
like you had to be jealous in order to keep me. Because I want you, all the
time. And I worked my ass off before I met you because that was the only thing
I could do to kill time and not face my powers. But you made it all better,
Lou. You made me better."
Yup, there it is. Now he really has to hit Liam with a pillow. So that's
exactly what he does, he pushes Liam over and straddles his thighs before he
grabs the pillow and beats him up. "You're the worst! How can you apologise
when I'm the one who fucked up?!" Louis pouts heavily and smacks him with the
pillow over and over again. "I was jealous because I'm a shitty person, not
because you did something wrong! Stop being so fucking nice!"
When he finally stops hitting Liam there are tears in his eyes, face all
screwed up to the point that it must look ugly. He's wheezing and holds the
pillow above his head while Liam stares up at him with wide eyes. He is
beautiful like a puppy, hands reaching up to touch Louis' face.
"Don't cry, please. I mean it, I swear. There's no one else, I promise, there
never will be."
"You can't promise that," Louis sobs.
"But I promise it anyway. No one but you, Lou. You're so perfect."
"Stop..." He drops the pillow behind him as Liam sits up to hold Louis' face
properly, thumbs digging into his jaw, foreheads touching.
"I shifted to come here, Lou. Chiron didn't want to let me go but I had to see
you, I needed to. I was scared but I did it anyway and... and I came here, for
you. I want you..."
Their lips are almost brushing and Louis' breath is hitching. He wants it too,
wants him so badly.
"You want me?"
"Yeah," Liam whispers.
"Even though I wear yellow shorts?
Liam's cute little chuckle has Louis melt right there. "Yeah, even with your
yellow shorts. It could be worse anyway."
"Like?"
Liam grins. "They could be golden."
Louis breaches the short distance between them with a harsh kiss. Gods, oh
gods, he likes Liam so much, it's ridiculous, they're perfect together
(almost), and he moans into Liam's open mouth, shifting further into his lap
just to feel them press together. Liam's hands are always everywhere, on his
face, his neck, roaming his back, because he can't settle down, isn't satisfied
with just one bit of Louis. He always wants everything, all the way, and Louis
so ready to give it to him.
"I want to sleep with you," Liam gasps when they catch their breaths.
"Properly, right now."
Louis blinks at him. "What the fuck?"
"Please... I trust you?" There are those puppy eyes again.
They've done a lot in bed, except for going all the way and it's not that Louis
doesn't want to, but it would be Liam's first time and... he already has been
Liam's first in everything else, he didn't want to presume. And Liam has never
asked for more, not until now. Fuck, what if he is just as insecure about
everything as Louis? Only for different reasons. For Liam it's his inexperience
and for Louis his insecurity. He doesn't even understand it himself because
half of the time he actually, honestly believes that he is amazing. And the
rest of the time? He feels like the dirt under everyone else's shoes. It's a
weird feeling and he doesn't know yet how to get rid of it completely.
"I'm... okay, but – Liam, we're filthy."
"Not filthy enough," Liam corrects him and jerks his hips, right up into Louis'
crotch. "Come on."
"Fuck," Louis groans and pushes back. "Okay, but you're definitely going to
fuck me. I'll teach you how."
Liam makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "Okay."
Liam crashes their mouths together once more, tongues actually not fighting for
dominance because that's ridiculous and kissing isn't supposed to be
ridiculous. Sex on the other hand is very ridiculous when you think about it
and Louis is all in for that. He feels himself grow harder by every passing
moment, every deep swipe of Liam's tongue in his mouth turns him on even more.
He loses his singlet while Liam tosses his shirt on the floor and then it's
skin on skin, one of the best feelings in the world. It doesn't even have to be
sexual, Louis just really craves the closeness. And then Liam pushes his face
into Louis' neck, hands roaming his back with a quiet moan. He's hard, always
so much quicker than Louis because... because why? Louis doesn't know.
"You're so fucking hot," Liam growls, which makes Louis shiver in delight. He
likes the compliment, but he likes the deep scratch in Liam's voice even more,
how his breathing becomes more and more uneven at the prospect of fucking Louis
into the mattress. And then he's grabbing Louis by the back of his thighs and
rolls them over, hips still firmly pressed together. Louis hits the sheets with
a surprised gasp. "Can we do it like that? I want to see your face.”
Louis snorts with laughter. "Quite the romantic, are you?"
"With you, yes," he answers so sincerely, always open like a fucking book,
Louis can't believe he ever thought Liam was cheating on him. Yeah, it
definitely was just in his head.
"Fine... I'll let you look at me because I feel so generous today and because
it's your birthday and I didn't get you anything else."
Liam grins and pushes further between Louis' legs until they're flush together
and kissing again. Louis keeps it soft this time because he actually likes
'soft'. He likes to drive his sex partners insane with it, until they snap. But
it's just Liam now, it will always be Liam and he's mostly staying tender
because he's nervous. He's not used to being on his back, only on his stomach,
on a hard table, against a hard wall, an even harder floor. Sometimes on his
knees. He's not used to the softness of a bed, his own bed even, and certainly
not used to the warmth of cradling someone he loves between his thighs. His
heart is racing, aching. He should tell Liam, but he doesn't know how, the
words refusing to climb out of his mouth, too scared to see the light.
"Come on, Liam. Get me out of these ugly shorts, yeah? Be a good boy."
Liam nods as he draws back, fingers loosening from around Louis' waist to trail
down. He is careful and slow like a summer rain and Louis feels his own breath
hitch when he watches Liam's face that is so in awe of naked skin. It's true
that they've never been completely naked around each other. First and foremost
because they never were alone in either of their cabins. But here they are now
and Louis can't wait to get Liam's dick inside of him. He drops Louis' shorts
and boxers next to the bed, an excited grin on his face as he rocks back to sit
on his heels and open his jeans. Louis would love to take over but he's also
really impatient, so while his still boyfriend is peeling out of his trousers
Louis gropes for some lube under his bed. He always drops it somewhere on the
floor carelessly and then it gets kicked underneath. His mum is always
complaining about it when she cleans up his room and finds too many half-empty
bottles. They are expensive after all but what can Louis say, he enjoys his
alone time.
He's not alone now though, he hasn't been alone in a long time, which really is
all thanks to this stubborn boy. This hot as fuck boy because he's finally
naked and Louis can totally count each muscle because they're so prominent
under his skin. Or maybe he'll just lick all over them, he can't decide. First
he has to find the lube though and then his fingers finally touch a plastic
bottle. Louis makes a triumphant noise and presents it to Liam like a medal.
"I knew I had something lying around." Liam takes it with a hesitant smile and
kneels back between Louis' legs when he spreads them wide enough. "Don't be
nervous, yeah? I got you, Liam, I'll show you everything."
"Okay," Liam breathes and gets way too much lube on his fingers, so much in
fact that it dribbles down onto his sheets but Louis doesn't mention it,
doesn't mind. Liam is nervous enough already.
"Come here," Louis mumbles and grabs Liam by the other wrist, guiding him back
down between his legs. "One finger first. I'll tell you when to put another
inside of me."
Liam is careful, a little too careful almost. Not that Louis wants it to hurt
but he can't wait and even though he loves to get fingered it's not enough
right now. Louis closes his eyes at the feeling, giving a slow roll of his hips
to make Liam's finger push against his walls. He smiles at Liam's fascinated
noises and then asks him for another, keeping his eyes closed because he knows
the sight of Liam will make him come on the spot. He is doing so well with
Louis, opening him up with the right instinct, Louis barely has to guide him.
"Okay, last one," Louis gasps and finally blinks his eyes open, focusing on
Liam's face.
He looks aroused, eager and above all: impatient. Which confuses him for a
moment because it doesn't feel like it. But that's just him, isn't it? Always
in control of his actions, even when his emotions are driving him wild. He's
not that little boy anymore who almost killed his cousin. He hasn't been that
boy in a long time. Louis likes that version of him now but... he also wants to
see Liam lose control, just a little (or maybe a lot).
"There you go," Louis moans when Liam pushes his third finger in, stretching
him further. "It's just your fingers but it already feels so good, fuck. Give
me a kiss yeah?"
Liam nods like he's incapable of saying anything, like all senses are fixed on
Louis. His hand has been resting on Louis' lower abdomen, right above his
painfully hard cock and now it's roaming his body up to his chest, his neck.
Liam leans in to kiss him, not very softly, and there's a hint of teeth grazing
Louis' bottom lip as he lifts his head from the pillow to kiss back. Liam's
fingers keep moving, making Louis' thighs shiver with need and he has to break
the kiss for a moment. He still sneaks his arms around Liam, like he's scared
he will leave, like he always fears, even though he knows it's ridiculous
(knows it now). he keeps their noses pressed together, lips still touching
while he breathes heavily.
"Move them upwards," he whispers and jerks his hips a little to urge him on.
"Crook them."
"Alright," Liam croaks and Louis has no idea how he can sound so wrecked
already when they haven't done anything yet. "Like this?"
He twists them just right and it's good but not good enough, not yet. "Yes, yes
like that. But go a little deeper, until you feel a little bump. You'll know
when you feel it."
Liam nods against his forehead and pushes in deeper, fingers still bent and
then he hits it, rubs right over the bundle of nerves Louis had hoped he would
find and he almost jolts off of the bed. Liam groans and curses at the same
time, going in for another kiss. But Louis shakes his head and keeps him still.
"You feel that?" Louis asks and bites at his lips when Liam moves his fingers
again.
"Yes," he hisses.
"Good. I want... want you to hit that spot when you fuck me. You can bend and
twist me like a sex doll, I don't care, just fuck me good, yeah? I know you can
do that. You're so good at everything."
"Fuck," Liam squeezes his eyes shut. "Not everything..."
"But you'll be perfect at this, Liam. Because you always try to take care of
me, even now. It's fucking amazing, you're amazing and I want you inside of me
now." He smirks. "Pretty please."
A small laugh puffs against his face and then Liam slowly withdraws his
fingers, eyes never leaving Louis'.
"I don't think I can hold out long enough, Louis."
Louis stares at him. "You don't have to, Liam. You're so hot when you come, I
can't wait for it. And if you're half as decent with your dick as you are with
your fingers then I'm not far behind, believe me. Don't think about shit like
that, it's not about making me come first. It's quite a turn on, you know?
Knowing that you want me that ba-"
"Want you so much," Liam interrupts with a whisper and Louis just knows that he
won't last long.
"Fuck, then just..." He reaches between them and curls his fingers around
Liam's cock to line it up with his wet hole. Liam makes a wounded noise in the
back of his throat and looks between them, fingers digging into Louis' sides.
He takes him inside greedily, a sigh escaping his lips when Liam presses in
immediately. The stretch burns a little, but it's a welcome change to the
stinging sensation of missing Liam. Louis doesn't even want to waste a thought
about what happened before, all that matters right now is this gorgeous boy in
his arms. So he holds on to Liam, drags him closer until they're flush
together, skin on skin and already a little sweaty. Well, Liam wanted it
filthy.
"You're so good," Liam mutters, slowly bottoming out until he's completely
buried inside of Louis, hands gripping him tightly.
"On a scale of one to ten, how good?" Louis asks breathlessly, mostly to tease
Liam.
"Shut up, Lou, you know you're an eleven." Liam smirks and then finally starts
to move.
It's deep and lazy thrusts that Louis really enjoys, that have him whine high
because it's so soft and he said he liked soft but it's almost too intimate
now, making him feel vulnerable. He knows he has to open up a little (not just
physically), to let Liam in because he deserves to know Louis completely,
inside out. With all the anxiety and jealousy he just hadn't realised that Liam
was revealing himself too, that everything he did was for so obvious reasons.
Louis hooks one leg over Liam's hip and loosens his arms around him so he can
look up into his face.
"I get it now," he says and then groans when Liam thrusts back in. "I know I
don't have to be jealous, you just go all the way, don't you?"
"What?" Liam's movements falter, his eyes fluttering shut. "Louis, now is not
the-"
"Yes it is," Louis hisses and urges Liam on with the heel of his foot, hands
stroking Liam's face and then moving up into his hair. "The whole camp wants to
get laid by you and I didn't know why you'd want me, but I know now. You're an
arrogant little shit, aren't you?"
"Fuck," Liam squeezes his eyes shut and drops his head on Louis' shoulder, hips
jerking violently. "You-"
"I get it," Louis assures him, breath hitching every time he fills Louis to the
hilt. "Who has ever challenged you and won, huh? Your son-of-Zeus-charm didn't
work on me." Which is a lie but Liam doesn't need to know that yet. That's a
piece of information he'll hold back for when he needs Liam to become all needy
and quiet. "But I was so intrigued and you were so hot, fuck."
"Louis," Liam moans and fucks harder into him, hands twisting in the sheets
next to him.
"I was good to you, wasn't I?" Louis purrs, brain already clouded with heat and
want and the need to come. "Tell me again how good I was."
"Better than anything I've ever felt," Liam groans into Louis' shoulder as he
picks up speed, picks up Louis' jealous heart and washes it free from it. "You
always knew what I wanted, what I needed. Fuck, I... You and me Louis, that
won't end."
"So arrogant." Louis grips the back of Liam's neck, his other hand pushing
against the headboard to keep him from moving up, which he already did with
Liam's sharp thrusts. It's unsteady but honest and so, so good. "Think I'm
gonna stay with you forever? Is that what you want?"
"Yes," Liam blurts out and shifts his head to the side, lips brushing against
Louis' jaw. "You're mine, Lou."
The shiver that runs down his spine has him arch off the bed, a thrilled gasp
escaping his lips. "Really? You have to make me yours then, cause you know how
much Hermes kids love to fly and-"
He's cut off by a hot kiss and then Liam's hands stop tormenting the blanket to
grasp Louis' hips instead. Every time he thrusts in he pulls Louis against his
body and fuck, there he is, finally letting go, releasing the storm Louis
always wanted to have a taste of.
"Tell me when I hit it," Liam mutters against his mouth, rutting into Louis
from different angles, trying to find the one that will make Louis go crazy. He
finds it then and he stops Louis' hands from roaming his body to grab his
wrists tightly. Liam does it all the time, to keep Louis from tickling him,
pinching him, stealing stuff, poking things one shouldn't poke (like a sleeping
Mr. D). But this time it's different, he almost slams Louis' hands down on the
mattress, giving him a wild and wide-eyed look. Yeah, the storm is here.
"There," Louis breathes when Liam hits his prostate again, a deep thrust from
underneath. "There, Liam, I-"
"There?" Liam asks and does it again. And again.
"Fuck, yes," Louis whimpers, leg still loosely draped over Liam's waist.
"Don'tstopdon'tstopdon'tstop."
And he doesn't, he curses and groans but he doesn't stop, doesn't let go and
Liam is coming before he does, slamming into him one last time before he
stills, face twisted in bliss. He's the prettiest and the hottest thing Louis
has ever seen, how is that even possible? But Louis isn't finished yet so he
fights Liam's now loose grip and takes one of his hands to sneak it between
them where his cock is squeezed between their stomachs, all dripping, and Louis
needs to come so badly.
"Please, Liam, come on."
It feels like Liam is still coming, still jerking his hips a little, even
though he's already softening inside of Louis. But he keeps moving his hand,
strokes him urgently because he knows how much he needs it.
"Gods, I should be the jealous one," Liam says then, a little out of breath.
"Just fucking look at you."
Louis wants to say something like I would, if I had a mirror on the ceiling or
I'd rather look at you in case he's feeling a little extra corny today. But he
can't say anything because he's coming hard, with Liam's voice and words
pushing him over the edge. He comes all over himself and Liam's hand, his whole
body tensing up until he's done, until he's spent. Only then does he fall back
into the sheets, completely exhausted and so ridiculously satisfied, even
though he winces when Liam pulls out of him. But he's not leaving, instead he
cuddles up to Louis and buries his face in his shoulder, muttering hopeless
praises. He likes that Liam looks just as pleased as Louis feels and those
little short breaths he huffs against Louis' neck leave him shivering.
Fuck, that was amazing. Louis has had sex before but nothing like that, it's
never been that intense and definitely not that good. He knows it's because
this meant something, meant a lot compared to the people he brought home all
the time (never in camp, other demigods actually were off-limits for a long
time. Until Liam came along). He just hopes it somehow came across, that Liam
gets it, that he understands how special he is to Louis. Happy birthday, he
thinks.
"I love you," he blurts out.
Wait. Fuck! It was supposed to be the other way around! Not that he was lying,
he definitely wasn't lying, but he's too cool to admit shit like that. And
saying it right after they came together? How embarrassing is that? When is the
floor opening up to drag him straight to Hades? Never, apparently, because the
silence is stretching on and Liam lifts his head from Louis' shoulder to look
at him with huge eyes. His jaw has gone all slack and he's breathing a heavily,
still recovering. He doesn't say anything though. Shit, Louis regrets it. He
regrets saying it. He's already opening his mouth to take it back, to tell Liam
he doesn't have so say anything but then Liam smiles sheepishly. He smiles.
Sheepishly. Louis is still so anxious he doesn't know what that even means.
"I love you, too," Liam tells him.
"Oh," Louis says and blinks at himself. "Cheers. I mean you're welcome. Ah,
fuck. What do people say after that?"
Liam is grinning now. "I thought you were the experienced one?"
Louis swallows and tightens his arm around Liam's back. "I never got that far."
Liam takes a deep breath at the nervous sound in Louis' voice and his face
softens. "Louis..." He lifts his hand to drag his thumb along Louis' jaw. "I
don't think people say anything after that. They just kiss."
"Oh, good." Louis lets out a relieved sigh. "That I can do."
He drags their mouths together easily, not ignoring his pounding heart anymore,
not trying to stop it from jumping out of his chest. He pours himself into
their kiss, lets his feelings bleed all over Liam's face and chest until they
drown, drown, drown.
*
Louis is a lot more smug after he gets back. Instead of feeling ashamed when
they give him the why-would-Liam-be-with-you look, he gives them his best grin
thinking 'yeah that's right, he chose me you skanky bitches' (bitches is used
as a gender neutral term here). Also, his mum loves Liam, which makes it all a
bit easier, even though he despises her I-hate-it-when-you-have-sex-under-my-
roof-speeches. He admits that it might have not been his brightest idea because
now that Liam got a taste of it he turned into a fucking sex monster, waking
Louis in the middle of the night to beg for more, like he's addicted or
something.
His words turn so lecherous and filthy Louis can't help but spread his legs.
Maybe he's the camp slut. Nope, only for Liam. But his siblings also give him
the I-hate-it-when-you-have-sex-under-my-roof-speech, which makes it a bit
awkward. Louis tries to be quiet but he physically can't. He needs to fill the
silence until it covers up his screaming heart. Doesn't matter whether it's
yelling good or bad things, the world doesn't need to know everything about
him. But occasionally he'll whisper about it into Liam's ear, when they're not
alone, so Liam can't force him to elaborate. Maybe Liam wouldn't even try to,
knowing how hard it sometimes is for Louis to open up. It stays like this for
another year, and another, and another, and somehow Liam doesn't get sick of
Louis.
It's good, not perfect but good and that's perfect enough...
*
Enter Zayn Malik.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you so so much for the comments on the last chapter, we're
     really happy that you like it so far! <3
The thing is: once you notice Zayn you cannot unnotice him. Louis sees him for
the first time when he enters the atelier of the Apollo cabin because he heard
that Malik boy was giving tattoos to campers. It took Louis quite a while to
decide whether he was going to get one as well and he carefully thought about
what he wanted to have forever inked into his skin. So, after five minutes (or
less) he walked off to do exactly that.
Zayn is bent over some table and sorting his pencils and brushes, the light of
the sun rushing through the room's colourful windows. He doesn't notice Louis
at first because Louis is a son of Hermes and as that he doesn't get noticed
unless he wants to. He watches the boy with the bleached hair and the ripped
trousers. It's probably fashion. Louis doesn't know anything about that, he
usually walks around like he's homeless. At least they're all wearing the same
ugly camp shirts and Zayn looks good even in that. It's not cheating to look at
someone, is it? Liam and Louis had talked about that very early on. But Zayn
actually is illegally handsome and he wonders how he didn't notice before. Or
maybe he did, he remembers seeing him years ago, a bit younger, without the
stubble on his face. He had looked kind of beautiful next to his brother.
"I want a tattoo," he pipes up and grins when Zayn swirls around in shock, hand
going to a quiver that isn't there.
"What the fuck, you can't just sneak up on me like that."
"I can," Louis says smugly and shrugs. "That's literally... the only power I
got from my dad, so you could indulge me and let me feel special for at least a
little, dude."
Zayn's eyebrows knit together in confusion, or maybe he's pondering what Louis
just said, one hand gripping his brush tightly. No, he's already trying to
figure Louis out... Well, good luck with that! Louis hasn't even figured
himself out and he's over twenty now. Whoever said people in their twenties are
adults fucking lied, probably to themselves. But Louis can get behind that, a
little. Lying to yourself and to others can keep you alive in a way. Keep
lying, he thinks to himself, until you're not lying anymore and it becomes
reality. But surely Zayn is not interested in fake deep shit like that and when
he doesn't say anything else, Louis puts on a bright smile.
"Anyway, like I said: I want a tattoo."
"A tattoo," Zayn echoes. "I'm not doing that for everyone, you know."
Louis opens his mouth in false shock. "everyone? I'm everyone? You wound me
Zayn – it was Zayn, right? I'm Louis - I thought we had something special. You
know, with me scaring you and you getting all defensive like 'What the fuck
man, you can't just sneak up on me like that'. I still remember it like it was
yesterday. Good times, man... good times."
He watches Zayn bite on his lip and thinks it's the harbinger of another frown
but no. He's trying to suppress a grin, or maybe even a laugh, and Louis is in
awe. People are mostly irritated by him at first. Zayn shakes his head and
covers up his grin with a cough before he walks over to a chair that looks like
one of those from the tattoo studios in the city. He pats it and looks at Louis
expectantly.
"Come on then... I would feel bad if I wasn't honouring our strong and well
developed emotional bond."
"Awesome," Louis says and practically throws himself on the chair. "I've been
waiting for this all day." Or five minutes. But it feels like a day.
"So you already figured out what you want to have?" Zayn pulls over his
equipment with the tattoo gun and it all looks very professional to Louis.
"Please don't tell me it's a rose or a skull."
"Please, I'm way cooler than that."
"So what is it?"
"A stick figure," Louis says with a serious nod so Zayn doesn't mistake it for
a joke. "with a skateboard."
Zayn barks out a laugh but when Louis doesn't grin his face falls. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"I usually don't question people's choices on what they want because I know
there's a reason for everything, deep down. But why?" He looks so confused
Louis almost pities him.
"Lesson one, Zayn: Sometimes there is no reason."
"I know, but-" He stops himself and lowers the tattoo gun. "Lesson one? What
lessons?"
Dammit, he should've thought about that first. Maybe his lessons on life?
Because Louis totally has his shit together, right? He isn't just winging
everything 99% of the time, absolutely not (absolutely yes). So he shrugs all
mysteriously and smiles.
"You'll find out soon enough." (He'll ask Liam about it later, he'll come up
with a good answer for Louis. Because he's adultier than most adulties. Fuck,
that word is so foreign to Louis he doesn't even know how to spell it). "Hey,
you can make it move, right? Someone said his tattoo comes alive at will. Did
you do that?"
"Yeah, I did," Zayn answers with a smile that could rival the sun. "Gift from
Apollo, I guess."
"Sick. I want my stick figure skating all over my body. That could be fun,"
Louis hums and crosses his hands behind his head, staring off into the
distance. "The things you could do with that kind of power."
"Why do I have the feeling that you're daydreaming about something that
involves the stick figure and your dick?"
Louis can't help but laugh. "See? We know each other so well. The stuff of
legends, Zaynie, I can feel it. People will still talk about it in a hundred or
thousand years."
Zayn rolls his eyes at him. "You're not even trying to deny it."
"I admit, I thought about it for a moment... but I have a boyfriend for that,
Liam is very skilled with his hands." Louis throws him meaningful look. "You
know, since he's fighting with his daggers and stuff."
Zayn licks his lips for a moment, looking at Louis like he wants to say
something, then decides not to, eyes turning thoughtful. (Or... disappointed?
Louis feels something hot rise from his stomach and into his chest, creeping
over his skin). "Right. Where do you want your stick figure?"
Louis offers his right arm and Zayn starts soon after that. There are rubber
gloves, buzzing sounds and a lot of concentrated silence because for once Louis
knows it's better to shut up. But that silence is filled with something heavy,
something that pushes at the back of Louis' head and even though he can't feel
Zayn's skin through the gloves it does something to his skin. There's hot
breath on his face whenever Zayn looks up from his work, when the ADHD kicks in
and he has to focus on something else just for a moment. He always chooses
Louis as his subject, giving him a smile, a grin, a laugh, another flick of his
tongue. He's even more beautiful up close and Louis sometimes forgets how to
breathe, feels like he's going to faint (or maybe that's just the needle
penetrating his skin. Hm. Penetrating).
But it's okay, Louis thinks. Being physically attracted to people is normal.
Actually, the only people who are not attracted to Zayn might be blind. That
does make him feel better.
"You should bring your boyfriend next time," Zayn says afterwards, hand
lingering on Louis' shoulder. His mouth becomes dry at next time. Will there be
a next time? Does he want another tattoo?
"Maybe I will," he mutters.
*
Zayn is like a sun walking in the shadows, a bit stealthy like Louis but once
you see him he shines so brightly and you wonder how you could ever not see
him. Louis thinks about that from his spot on the floor, chin resting on one
knee as the sun makes Zayn's skin shine like liquid bronze. And somehow it's
even worse when he's next to Liam, who sometimes twitches with lightning, when
he's nervous or too relaxed, Louis can never tell. They look good next to each
other and Liam laughs at something Zayn says which makes Zayn scold him because
it will ruin the tattoo. He's getting four chevrons and when Louis had asked
what they're supposed to mean, he just shrugged before he said "I had a dream,
you know. About family". Whatever that means. As far as Louis knows Liam
doesn't have any siblings and there's just his mum and his step dad.
But the point is, Louis likes Zayn. The other point is, Liam likes Zayn, too.
The other other point is that Liam and Louis avoid looking at each other every
time they leave Zayn's atelier with a new tattoo. And they are getting more.
Louis arm aches from it but he doesn't regret any of them, not even the stupid
ones. He traces the stick figure with a fond look when Liam is asleep,
wondering why he can't stop thinking about the pain and Zayn trying to soothe
it away every time he hissed. He also wonders why Liam looks so guilty
sometimes.
"Hey," Louis whispers into Liam's ear the next day when he tries to leave the
dining pavilion with his siblings. Liam doesn't jump, doesn't flinch, because
Louis' presence is not foreign to him anymore, it's natural. They've been like
this for years now, slowly becoming each others' shadows.
Liam stops, hand coming to rest on Louis' waist to make sure he doesn't leave
when Liam twists his head to talk to another Zeus' kid. When it's done he turns
back with a small smile and Louis kisses him softly, roughly, all at once.
Maybe he just feels the harshness on the inside and the softness on the
outside. Or maybe it's the other way around. Liam has grown a few inches taller
than him during the last couple of years, his body has filled out, his cheeks
scratch Louis' skin whenever they fuck. He loves it. He loves it so much. Liam
is still his.
"I love you," he mutters afterwards, so relieved that it's not a lie. It could
never be a lie. He can never not love Liam and his annoying arse. He's even
more relieved when Liam says it back, face brightening like he's been scared,
too. Scared of the meaning behind their wandering eyes. So maybe they'll be
fine.
"You'll tell me when you don't love me anymore, right?" He jokes. "Just so I
have enough time to put myself back on the market."
Liam snorts and pinches Louis' sides. "Don't say that, I will always love you."
Louis swallows and leans over, arms draped around Liam's neck. "Replay," he
whispers, going back to their old game.
Liam grins. "I will always love you."
"Replay," Louis whispers again.
"I will always love you," Liam says against his lips.
"Replay..."
Maybe it goes on like that for another few minutes, but Liam doesn't stop,
never stops, instead he stuffs Louis' heart with the same words over and over
again, until Louis feels sated and full and they fuck against the empty Hera
cabin. Liam complains about it, he doesn't want to piss the goddess off even
more, but Louis talks him into it anyway, like he always does. Besides, Liam
doesn't have much time to think about it when Louis rubs off against him.
I will always love you feels like another promise. Louis will hold him to that.
(And what about his own promises?)
*
He didn't think he'd be capable of cheating on Liam, didn't think he'd ever end
up in a situation like this. Who but Liam would ever call him beautiful, who
else would want him that way? All potential sex partners he had to convince
with witty jokes or basically beg them to fuck him (he's not the type to beg,
he's begged enough as a child).
"Look at you," Zayn whispers when Louis takes him back into his mouth, knees
hurting from the hard wooden floor of the atelier. But he can't stop, Zayn
tastes so good, he's so hot and Louis fucking likes him so much, he wants to
make him feel good. "So fucking beautiful. Your face always gets me riled up,
you know? Every time I get my needle in you and you make a face I want to know
what other ways I can twist it. And your lips, Lou... so pretty."
He jerks his hips, unable to stop himself, and Louis chokes on his cock but
doesn't pull back. He likes it deep, in every way, and there is something about
Zayn and how he moves, like a piece of art with each stroke of his brush
intended to make it sensual. His soft hands are in Louis' hair, stroking his
scalp as he breathes heavily through his parted lips, letting Louis hear how
good he feels. Louis is dizzy with want, feels himself throb in his own
trousers but he is not finished yet, he needs more and keeps moving his head
back and forth, eyes trained on Zayn and his flushed cheeks, his hooded eyes
that watch Louis in return.
"Your eyes... so fucking blue. I can feel them on me all the time, I know how
they undress me up in that head of yours. All the time I just wondered what you
would let me do to you, if you'd let me fuck you up real bad."
Louis whimpers and shuffles closer, grabbing Zayn's hip to swallow him deeper
until his nose presses against skin. Zayn swears, hands tightening in his hair
and he keeps him there, right on his aching knees. There's a quiet chuckle and
a small thud, like the back of Zayn's head hit the wall he's been leaning
against all this time.
"Gods," he breathes. "I wanna fuck your mouth until it's red and raw. Will make
you look even more beautiful. Let me make you beautiful, yeah?"
Louis groans and barely manages to nod around Zayn's dick before he starts to
thrust into his mouth. It's hot, it's so fucking hot. He needs his own cock to
be touched but he can't touch himself because his hands are shaking and Zayn is
so rough it makes the tears gather in Louis' eyes. Not because it's painful,
it's not, but Louis does feel more beautiful, it's so absurd. It's just knowing
how badly Zayn wants him, how he doesn't look away from Louis' mouth, from
where his dick is stirring inside Louis' throat, making wet noises that have
him lose his breath.
And it's strange how his eyes close, mind wandering to Liam and how good his
hands would feel down Louis' trousers. How nice it would be to have Zayn's dick
in his mouth and Liam's hot breath in his neck, telling him to be good for Zayn
while he jerks Louis off. But he's pretty sure that's not how cheating is
supposed to feel like. You shouldn't want you boyfriend to be there with you,
shouldn't think about how it would be to ravish Zayn together, shouldn't feel
like there's something missing. Louis isn't a decent human being, he's a fucked
up cheater who also appears to be greedy. He should be ashamed of himself but
he can't, not right now.
Not until Zayn pulls out to come all over his face, his lips, with the most
luscious moan Louis has ever heard. It goes straight to his dick, which needs
just a few tugs before he comes himself, not even caring about ruining his
jeans. There are a lot of things he doesn't care about in that moment and later
it will make him feel sick. Even more so because he realises how much he craves
Liam's kiss. The urge is as strong as his want for Zayn and fuck, fuck, fuck,
he doesn't know what it means, can't wrap his mind around it at all.
"So beautiful," Zayn repeats, smearing his seed across Louis' mouth with his
thumb, letting him lick it off of him. "You alright? Tell me how you feel."
"I'm alright." Louis' throat is so sore, making his voice scratch even more
than usual and he sees Zayn's eyes light up, sees him swallow hard as his dick
already twitches with new interest. Fuck, he did that. He actually wants Louis,
how is that possible? (He still wonders about the same thing with Liam).
"Come here," Zayn says, orders, begs and drops to his knees in front of him,
pressing their mouths together feverishly. They're filthy and Zayn can probably
taste himself but he doesn't seem to care, he just purrs and sucks on Louis
tongue mercilessly because who needs to breathe? "Wish I could stop," he
whispers between kisses. "But I can't. Fuck, you're so good."
Louis' head swims, his heart soars and he doesn't run, doesn't tear his mouth
away because he can't stop either. All he knows is that he's screwed.
*
Louis feels like he's drowning. He clings to Liam so he can't walk away, even
though Liam isn't trying to. And he doesn't even know what Louis did and he
doesn't ask, he just holds him, kisses him and Louis loves him so much, he
really does. Why did he have to fuck up like that then?
"Do you want to talk about it?" Liam asks eventually when Louis drags him off
to the strawberry fields.
"Nope," Louis chirps and turns around while he walks to twist Liam's nipple.
But Liam is Liam and he's not so easily fooled by him anymore, his battle
instincts are working on him just as well. He catches Louis' wrist before he
can get his fingers even remotely close and smirks at him, knowing what Louis'
distractions look like when he doesn't want to share his feelings with the
crowd. But Liam still indulges him and when Louis reaches out with his other
hand, tongue stuck between his teeth, Liam grabs his other wrist, too. He uses
the leverage to pull Louis closer, to make their chests bump together.
His grip is so tight Louis' breath catches in his throat, his body growing all
hot every time he thinks about how much Liam has changed, how he became even
better and stronger. His heart, his body and his soul aches at the thought of
losing him when he finds out what Louis did. Louis knows his own worth, knows
it is not enough to make Liam stay in the long run. He has so many flaws
already, he can't allow himself another; it will make his heart grow heavy and
outweigh the feather. But even then he'll still love Liam. This Liam right
here, who at some point started to rely on Louis in a way he hadn't thought
possible. This Liam, who never wasted a look or thought on anyone else but
Louis. This Liam, who has promised that it would always be Louis for him.
"Never thought I'd have to make you talk," Liam says with a grin when Louis
starts to fight his grip, when they wrestle a bit and Louis twists his arms to
break free. But Liam is so strong, muscles working hard under his shirt and
Louis struggles because he's not the experienced one anymore, not the
mysterious bloke who got the favourite son of Zeus wrapped around his little
finger. He's just Louis and Liam knows all his secrets, all his fears and
doubts – no that's not true. He doesn't know that Louis is a fucking cheater.
"You're better at making me shut up," Louis says with a smirk, the skin around
his wrists already burning from all the pulling and pushing. They stumble and
fall and smash a bunch of strawberries that stain their shirts and skin, making
them look like they're coming fresh from the battlefield. Liam kisses him hard,
slamming his hands down into the soil. Gods, Louis aches for Liam, so hard, and
he feels really fucked up because he wants Zayn, too. He's like the worst
douche bag in one of those bad novels who can't choose, won't choose, because
choosing is bad for your health. Just take what you can get and give nothing
back is what Jack Sparrow had said, right? But Liam deserves better, he
deserves everything. Louis wishes he was a better person, wishes he was
everything.
"I love you so fucking much," Louis tells him as they rut against each other
like filthy animals. "Even when you hate me."
"Never hated you. Never will," Liam groans against his jaw, placing a
breathless kiss right there. "I love everything about you."
Not this, Louis thinks and sobs into Liam's shoulder.
*
"It's just a little bit of fun," Zayn moans against Louis' lips because Louis
is a pathetic bitch who can't stay away, even when he should.
"Okay," Louis whispers back and lets Zayn finish him off with his hand.
They lie down together in the grass afterwards, when it's already dark. Will
Liam wonder where he is? Probably not, he's still in a meeting with Chiron and
Mr. D. Liam is so good, so responsible, maybe he'll be grateful for having a
reason to leave Louis. Maybe he's doing him a favour. Because Zayn makes him
feel good in a different way and they laugh and joke and Zayn's smile becomes
so fucking soft when he drags Louis into another kiss. His heart jumps and
maybe Zayn's heart jumps too, just for a moment. It would be fucking wild if
Louis could make someone like Zayn fall for him. Just as wild as Liam staying
with him for years. The thing that would make Louis the happiest though is
something he doesn't dare to let himself think about.
"I want to wreck something," Louis says after breaking their kiss.
Zayn eyes him carefully, putting on his thinking-face. Louis never knows
whether he'll tell him off or join him in his mischief. It's kind of exciting.
"The Hypnos cabin was really rude to my brother the other day," Zayn says with
a dark look. "We should draw dicks on their faces while they're asleep... we
have god-proof sharpies in our atelier."
Louis licks his lips. He always wanted a partner in crime.
"For your brother," he says eventually, raising a fist to his heart with all
the epic drama that is needed. "And for you."
Zayn chuckles and shoves one hand under Louis' shirt because he always wants to
touch that little bit of skin apparently. "I really fucking like you, you
know?"
Louis' heart misses a beat. No... no he doesn't.
*
Louis feels no shame in admitting that he's a little voyeuristic. He likes
watching others get off together, enjoys their want and need for each other,
their love. He likes to pretend that he can feed on it, pretend that he can be
in one of their places. He gets off on it, the raw sounds, the filthy words,
even though they're not meant for him. No one ever notices him. It's not like
he's a Hades kid disappearing in the shadows, no. He just becomes one with his
surroundings, turns into a little piece of the scenery, even if it's in plain
sight. That's what stealth is all about: to be come invisible, to become
unimportant to the world. He is good at that.
That's why Zayn and Liam don't see him. That's why they don't hear his heart
screaming out as he watches them kiss, touch, moan each other's names. Louis
turns hot and cold and hot again when Zayn dips his fingers into the back of
Liam's trousers, asking if he really wants it and Liam just fucking says yes.
It's trust, there's trust in that simple form of 'yes' and Louis realises that
it's not their first time, it's maybe the second time, or third, or fourth.
They've been doing this before, like Louis and Zayn. His breath quickens and
then he closes his eyes, right before his boyfriend's and his lover's lips
connect once more. He pulls back, but the imagine is branded into his brain and
he's half-hard in his jeans. The other half is a mix of betrayal and fear
surging through his body. He doesn't want to lose Liam. He doesn't want to lose
Zayn. And he's jealous, gods yes, it's jealousy burning up in his guts, which
really makes him a bloody hypocrite. But he stays awake anyway and waits for
Liam in the empty Hermes cabin. Everyone else has gone home for the summer but
Louis stayed this time. He wonders if that was the right decision. He could've
had a Breaking Bad marathon with his mum, never knowing that Liam is cheating
on him as well.
Louis makes a list in his head of everything he wants to say when Liam returns
but it's forgotten as soon as the boy steps inside with a shy smile. Fuck. He
didn't even shower. Louis hasn't smelled Zayn on Liam before but he's pretty
sure he will now. Maybe that's it. Maybe Liam didn't shower because he's here
to finally leave Louis behind. Which just makes the anger boil inside of him
even hotter and Liam's smile vanishes when he sees the face Louis makes. He
climbs out of the bed, wearing nothing but his boxers and his shirt and he runs
fast, jostling Liam so hard he stumbles back in shock.
"Liar," Louis growls, pushing at Liam again so he can't reach out for him. "You
fucking liar, I hate you."
It's not true but he's hurt, he's hurting, why exactly is he so upset? Because
Liam cheated on him? Because Zayn didn't just have him on the side? Because
they were with each other and probably laughed about Louis behind his back? He
can't imagine them doing that but his brain is working hard to provide him with
all the painful possibilities. They're raging through his head like a fucking
nightmare, giving him enough cannon fodder to accuse Liam of a million things.
The most pressing one tumbles from his mouth like vomit.
"You lied, you fucking lied, you said it would only be me, you said you loved
me, gods, I fucking-" he punches Liam in the chest half-heartedly, blinking
angry tears from his eyes. "You don't love me."
Liam doesn't look guilty, he looks just as angry and grabs Louis' wrist when he
tries to hit him again.
"And what did you do?" He knows, of course he knows, Louis didn't expect
anything else.
"You are supposed to be better than me," he hisses into Liam's face, noses
almost brushing, eyes fixed on the lightning in his eyes. "I'm the fuck up,
you're not. You were not supposed to find someone better, you're not supposed
to leave me, fuck."
"So fucking rich," Liam growls and now he's shoving Louis, eyes as hard as they
used to be when they were still at each other's throats. Oh, but maybe they
never stopped being like that. "Why are you getting the free pass in this? Why
do I have to be perfect all day and night? I'm just as human as you, Louis. I'm
not a fucking god, just the son of one."
Louis snorts, slapping Liam's hand out of the way when he lunges out. "No,
maybe you're just as pathetic as I am. Maybe you deserve me after all."
"Stop it," Liam tries to grab him with both hands this time but Louis twists
away. "Stop putting yourself down like that, I can't even properly argue with
you because you're always trying to make me feel bad for yelling at you, even
when I'm fucking mad!"
"So what?" Louis asks, jutting out his chin. "Guess I'm just that good at
manipulating you."
"But you're not," Liam says and gives up on trying to touch him, he just steps
closer until their toes meet and Louis has to back away. "You just really
fucking hate yourself, even when I love the shit out of you and I'm tired of
that. I wasn't even-"
But he breaks off when Louis' back hits the cabin wall, when Louis drags their
bodies together. He doesn't even know why he's doing it, it's just instinct.
"You're tired of me," Louis states with a shaking voice.
"Not of you, I'm just tired of waiting for you to realise that I'm not going
anywhere." He sounds so lost, so frustrated.
"But you did go somewhere, you went for him." He's still so hurt, so furious,
and Louis' fingers tighten in the front of Liam's shirt. "Why don't you both
just leave me then?!"
That's how everything stops, the anger, the pain, time, life, whatever. Liam's
eyes widen and Louis is staring right back at him, mouth hanging open in shock
at his own revelation. There's been no real heat behind their words, their
insults and why? Because Louis is not jealous of Liam sleeping with Zayn. He
isn't jealous of Zayn sleeping with Liam. He's jealous because they slept
together without him. He wants them, he fucking wants them both while they have
each other and while they have him. Maybe that's what Liam can see in his eyes,
maybe that's what Louis can see in Liam's, too. Because before he knows it Liam
is kissing him, pressing their bodies flush together and yes, fuck, Louis can
smell Zayn on him. That fucking smell doesn't just cling to his clothes but
also to his skin, his lips, and Louis licks it right off them with a groan.
His heart is pounding as fast as it always does with Liam, his body still
shakes, his skin still tingles. It's not any different and he whimpers into the
kiss, tearing his hands out from between them so he can grab at Liam's back
instead. It takes all of his strength he can muster to walk Liam backwards,
away from the wall and over to Louis' bed. Because that's where he needs to be
right now, where they need to be. They go down with their lips still locked
together and Liam gasps when Louis falls on top of him, hands already roaming
his body. Zayn has touched him before and Louis feels light-headed with all
those complicated emotions inside of him fighting for the upper hand.
"I love you," Louis gasps and looks Liam straight in the eye. It never has been
so easy before to look at him. "Whatever I did, that didn't stop."
"I love you, too. I didn't lie, I swear I didn't."
Louis hushes him immediately. "I know."
"Fuck," Liam whines when Louis squeezes his arse with both hands. There's a
small hiss too and he knows that kind of face very well. It's whenever Liam had
a tough sparring match or after Louis fucked him really hard. He shudders at
the implication, squeezing him a little more firmly.
"Zayn fucked you, didn't he?" There's no aching, no jealousy, just awe. "You
still loose?"
Liam swallows hard and catches Louis' eye, knowing exactly what he's thinking.
"Yes and... probably."
"Fuck," Louis growls and then swears some more because this is so hot and he's
basically ripping Liam's jeans while he's trying to get them off. They pull at
each other's shirts and there's a small grin on both of their lips when taking
them off leaves Louis' hair all tousled.
"You look so good, you know that?" Liam tells him.
"Shut up and take a look in the mirror. Even if I hadn't seen you two together
I would've known, Li. I know what you look like when you've come properly. It's
all over your face."
Liam snorts out a laugh that quickly turns into moan when Louis gets his hand
between them, between Liam's legs, to carefully dip one finger inside. It's
easy and wet, too wet to be just from Zayn preparing him. No, he fucking came
inside of Liam and Louis feels his dick stiffen at the thought, at the image,
and he quickly slips another finger inside, just to make sure.
"Fuck," he hisses through his teeth and Liam clings to him, face all twisted.
"He fucked you good, didn't he? You're so sore."
"Gods, yes. Lou, just... just fuck me, okay?"
"You sure you can take it?" Louis wants to, wants to so badly.
"No," Liam's voice falters. "But I want you to do it anyway."
Louis stares down at Liam, sees the trust that is still there after everything
that has just happened. He gets his hands on Liam's cheeks, digs his blunt
nails into his flushed skin while he ravishes Liam's mouth, with teeth and
tongue to show him just how much he appreciates that trust. Louis has never
thought for a moment he could stop loving him.
"On your stomach," he says after lifting his head and Liam complies without any
hesitation, he just grabs Louis' pillow to make himself more comfortable,
thighs already parted.
And it's so, so good. He shoves right inside of Liam who winces because he's
still sensitive but that doesn't stop him from pushing back on Louis' cock
every time he thrusts inside. Maybe that's what will get him off, being fucked
by both Zayn and Louis. It surely does things for him and it would be even
better if Zayn was actually here but that moment should probably belong to just
the two of them, to sort themselves out.
"How did he do it, babe?" Louis whispers into his ear, hips moving slowly but
it still makes Liam quiver and writhe beneath him "Tell me how he fucked you."
"The wall," Liam chokes out and claws at the sheets. "Pressed me against it,
face first."
Louis hums and nuzzles at the other boy's neck. "What else?"
"He said-" Liam interrupts himself with a moan when Louis changes the angle and
fucks him faster, deeper. He can't go soft on Liam right now, he's too agitated
because he is where Zayn has been just a while ago. It sets something loose
inside of him and he knows Liam feels the same. "He told me to be good, he
just... he just ordered me around."
"Oh," Louis groans, feeling his dick twitch inside of Liam. He's so close
already, it's not surprising. "I know you like it rough sometimes. Didn't know
you like to be all submissive."
"No, I... not all the time, just... just – ah fuck-"
"It's okay," Louis gasps as Liam archs his back and ruts against the sheets in
synch with Louis' movements. "I know how Zayn can be. He just has to say a word
and you want to go on your knees."
"Did you?" Liam moans after one particularly harsh jab of Louis' hips.
"I did," he whispers against Liam's neck, grazing it with his teeth. "I scraped
up my knees a bit while I... let him fuck my mouth. Screwed up my voice for a
few days."
"Shit." Liam whines high in his throat. "I remember. You said you were coming
down with a cold but you didn't actually get sick."
"Yeah, no... I was coming down with a bad case of Zayn."
"Oh shut up," Liam laughs and groans and then shouts when he suddenly comes,
clenching hard around Louis.
"Fuck, Liam." Louis digs his fingers into Liam's hips, fucking him through his
orgasm while building up his own. "Is that all it needs? You thinking about
Zayn and me together? Gods, if only I hadn't been so jealous, then I would've
stayed earlier. Already got me hard just seeing you two kiss."
"I would've wanted you to stay."
Hot white bliss invades his body from head to toe, almost blinding him and he
buries his face in Liam's shoulder as he stills and spends himself inside of
him, his own come mixing with Zayn's and it's all so filthy and hot he can't
help but think that it feels right. Liam twists his head like he's thinking the
same and Louis kisses him breathlessly, occasionally coming up for air.
"I will regret this tomorrow," Liam says after Louis pulled out to clean him up
as much as possible. "I agreed to a sparring match with some of the Ares kids
that stayed at camp."
"You'll lose," Louis chuckles and falls into Liam's open arms, nestling against
his still flushed chest. Louis can hear his heart beat as loudly as his own and
he can't believe he feels so good now, considering how miserable he's been when
he found out. "You won't even be able to walk tomorrow, they'll just laugh at
you. You should stay in bed with me all day and make people wonder whether I
finally made you kill me. There could be a great scavenger hunt for my corpse."
"Lou," Liam sighs and tightens both arms around him, one hand curling into his
hair. "Did you really think I would leave you?"
Louis pouts against Liam's skin. "You can't blame me for thinking that. I annoy
you most of the time."
"I love that you can annoy me," he mutters.
"But you like Zayn." Liam loosens his grip and Louis lifts his head so they can
look at each other. "Right?"
Liam shrugs. "I guess. But that doesn't mean I don't want you or that I don't
love you. You were my first Louis, that doesn't change and I don't want us to
change."
"Me neither." He knocks his head against Liam's and they just lay there for a
while, breathing and thinking.
They have to go somewhere from here and Louis would prefer to do it with Liam
still beside him. And maybe Zayn, too. He just doesn't know if Liam will
actually be fine with that. He can be a little old fashioned from time to time.
Like when he wanted to take Louis on a proper date in the city and suddenly
started to hold doors open for him or insisted on paying for everything they
did. When Louis was too annoyed and told Liam to stop he was slightly confused
because someone had to be the girl in the relationship, right? No, Louis had
said. That's not how it works, you idiot. It seems in some things Louis still
has to take the lead. With a gentle and careful approach, he can't just-
"Let's be with him, too. Like, properly," Liam says and nods to himself like
he's been trying to come up with the right words for the last few minutes.
Louis blinks at him. Well, that was easy. "Properly. You and me and him?"
"Yes, is that... is that okay?"
"Stop looking so scared, of course it's okay. Like I would give up the chance
to be with two fit lads." He rolls his eyes.
"No, come on, no," Liam says and suddenly rolls them over, making Louis yelp
when he's buried under Liam's weight. "Be serious for once. It's important."
Louis sighs dramatically. "Fine. I'll be serious, because I love you so much."
Then he puts on his oh-so-serious face. "I've fallen for Zayn. So yes, the
answer is yes. You like him, too?"
Liam nods. "It was so confusing because he's actually a bit like you. But I
just... really liked him, right from the start. So if you're in, I'm in."
"Great. We just have to break the news to him then. Let's hope he doesn't have
other campers on the side, that would be awkward."
"I doubt that's possible. We're enough to handle for one person, especially
you."
"Hey," Louis complains with no real heat. "I thought we wanted to be serious."
"Yeah, but we already settled the details and now I want to be silly with you."
Liam grins and pinches his side. "I'll even stay in bed tomorrow, like you
wanted."
Louis laughs so he doesn't start crying into Liam's shoulder. "Should I bring
you breakfast to your bed then, like a 'good housewife'?"
"No, I just need you."
"And Zayn."
"And Zayn," he agrees and they both fall silent again, but just for a moment
because Louis isn't the silent type.
"He's unfairly beautiful, isn't he?" Louis raises his eyes to meet Liam's.
"He is... fuck. How didn't we notice him before? I thought I was going to melt
into a puddle every time he smiled at me."
"Oh gods, me too!" Louis shakes his head with a grin. "Those eyes and his whole
face... just perfect."
He circles his arms around Liam and holds on to him, that's just what he always
does, holding on.
"You're both so beautiful," Liam says and brushes his lips against Louis'
forehead. "Maybe I'm the one who won't be able to handle it."
Louis closes his eyes, deciding not to response for once. He'll just let the
compliment soothe his skin, his heart, his soul and he keeps kissing Liam until
his lips are sore. They talk all night, huddled together under the blanket,
whispering to each other about Zayn until they fall asleep. And during all of
that Louis just really, really hopes that Zayn feels the same for them.
*
Zayn ignores them. Whenever they walk his way, whenever they try to catch his
eye, he just keeps walking with his head lowered and his gaze trained on the
ground. This little frown that tugs at his forehead all the time is driving
Louis insane. He doesn't want to see him like that but they can't exactly make
him do something that he doesn't want. At least that's what Liam believes.
Louis is a little more practical than that.
"Some people must be forced into their happiness because they think they don't
deserve it," Louis says bitterly, gnawing on a chocolate bar while they watch
Zayn with one of his brothers, all smiling and comfortable. He should be
comfortable with them though.
"Are you talking about him or yourself?" Liam mumbles next to him and Louis
feels his ears burn up with the embarrassment of being caught.
"No, I'm talking about you, Liam. What would your life be without me, eh? So
boring, like Chiron's." He kisses Liam then so he won't have a chance to tease
Louis some more.
The kiss tastes like the chocolate he's been eating and Liam seems to
appreciate it since he opens his mouth so eagerly. Or maybe he just likes
Louis, that could be it, even though nothing really beats chocolate, not even
Louis and his amazing self. And even though he's that awesome, not insecure or
paranoid at all, he's still one of those people who can't fully close his eyes
when he kisses, at least not in public. He's always on high alert and thanks to
that he finally catches Zayn staring back at them. He's quite a bit away but
Louis knows the face Zayn makes when his shoulders drop like that. Like a puppy
that sees a treat and silently begs for it. Zayn is begging for them, isn't he?
He's not avoiding them because he regrets it, he's avoiding them because he
thinks he destroyed their relationship. And now that he knows that they made up
he stays away so he doesn't wreck them again. What an idiot he is.
"He's watching us," Louis whispers against Liam lips and they both turn their
heads at the same time, making Zayn feel caught red-handed. He jumps when
realises it, immediately lowering his eyes again. Gods, he has always been so
confident when he was with either of them and now he looks like he is about to
faint if he shows just a little bit of that side. Perhaps Zayn isn't good at
talking about important things either, maybe he is like Louis. Only it makes
him shut up where Louis talks more and more and more. He just doesn't always
say the things he actually means.
"Maybe you're right," Liam says when Zayn walks away and they watch his
retreating back. "Maybe we should corner him."
"Replay!" Louis almost screams.
"Maybe we should corner him?" Liam blinks, all confused.
"No, before that!"
Liam has to laugh. "Maybe you're right."
"Heck yeah, that's what Daddy likes to hear." He wiggles both eyebrows.
Liam grimaces. "Or maybe I should break up with you after all."
"You can't get rid of me," Louis reminds him and then proceeds to cling to his
leg.
"It appears so," Liam says and limps all the way back to the cabins, dragging
Louis behind him through the grass.
At least he's dedicated.
*
So they corner Zayn. Or rather haul him out of his cabin. He's protesting,
hissing, asking what the fuck they want but Liam's firm grip in his neck keeps
him moving along with them. Louis just watches with a smile and follows them,
whistling a happy tune as they pin Zayn against one of the cabin's walls.
"I'm sorry," Zayn gasps, eyes trained on the ground between them.
Louis and Liam share a look, their suspicion about Zayn feeling guilty actually
confirmed by this. Louis nods at him and then lets his eyes wander over Zayn's
face. His beard is a little scruffy, not properly trimmed like usually. There
are dark circles under his eyes and Louis wonders how much he's been killing
himself over the situation. It hurts him to see Zayn like this but it also
means that he feels something for them, otherwise he wouldn't care.
"And what exactly are you sorry for?" When Liam licks his lips Louis mimics him
without meaning to.
"For what happened," Zayn mutters, another frown tugging at his face.
"What do you think happened, Zayn?" Liam's hand stays on Zayn's shoulder, keeps
him there, keeps him from running. Zayn is a good runner. And because Louis
can't just stand by, can't just look, he gently puts his fingers under Zayn's
chin to tilt his head up, to make him finally look at them. Gods, he's so
scared.
"I made you do something that you regret."
Louis wants to laugh and then cry. Instead he makes a sound like a gaming show
buzzer. Wrong.
"Try again."
Try again, with us. He can't help but smile though because damn Zayn is about
to get lucky. Louis can barely hold himself back, rubbing his fingers back
along Zayn's rough cheek.
"I don't know," Zayn finally confesses with a whine. "I don't know what I did."
Liam is smiling, too. "Well, I do. You made us realise that we weren't complete
yet."
And it's true, it's completely the truth and Louis' heart soars when Liam leans
over to kiss Zayn. It's not hard, it's not desperate, it's quite sweet actually
and Louis likes that. He likes Liam. He likes Zayn. There is nothing wrong with
that, is there? And if the other two are desperate enough to get with someone
like Louis, even better!
"My turn," Louis says eagerly and pushes at Liam who gladly steps away, keeping
his hand on Zayn's shoulder while the other shifts into Louis' neck.
Louis kisses Zayn just as softly because he knows why Liam did it like this.
They have to show him that it means something to them, that he means something
to them. They don't want another lover, they want another boyfriend and Louis
pours all of himself into the kiss until Zayn makes a high noise in the back of
his throat, like he finally understands, and one of his hands comes up to dig
into the fabric of his shirt.
"Fuck, you're both so beautiful," Liam whispers into Louis' ear, kisses him
right there before his lips brush over Louis' cheek, closer to where he's still
kissing Zayn.
And when Louis feels him at the corner of his mouth he turns his head to catch
Liam's lips as well, humming happily. They hear Zayn sucking in a sharp breath,
his hands finally holding on to them instead of letting go. Louis is highly
thrilled, knowing that Zayn is watching them and that Liam was watching him
with Zayn, too. He feels like he's going to burst with affection. He breaks
away from Liam with a huge grin, snaking one arm around him before he shifts
his head to look at Zayn. He is wrecked, utterly, completely, just from that.
"We want you," Liam explains.
"And we kind of fell in love with you," Louis adds and pokes Zayn in the cheek.
"Not just because you're ridiculously handsome but also because we like you. We
like who you are."
Zayn swallows and when his eyes move back towards the ground, Louis easy smile
falls.
"Even though I'm fucked up?" There's that frown again and Louis wonders how
much this has been eating at him.
Louis hasn't bothered to name this thing, to label it in any way because it
doesn't really matter to him. But maybe it matters to Zayn. So what if he is
polyamorous? What if he can't just fall in love with one person and doesn't
want to? People have probably given him a lot of shit for it and they still
will in the future. But this time he isn't alone, this time Liam will be there
to punch them and Louis will be there to insult them. Because no one insults
their boyfriend. If that's what Zayn truly wants to be.
"Listen, you're not fucked up. You know what is fucked up? The whole history of
greek gods." Louis says and feels like this is a very good argument because...
duh. Just look at goddesses like Demeter, she probably had more sex with
animals than people. That is fucked up, not Zayn. Zayn is beautiful and his
ability to love more than one person at the same time just tells them how big
his heart it. Louis will protect it with everything he has.
"Um... You know we're all related to the greek gods?" Liam says and Louis'
self-satisfied grin vanishes.
"What?"
"If the greek gods are fucked up, then so are we, half at least. Lou, that's a
terrible argument." Liam looks like he's about to burst into a laugh.
"Oh my gods," Louis claws at his face. "That's not what I meant."
But Zayn is the one who actually laughs then, the back of his hand pressed
against his mouth like he can't keep it in, but his shoulders are trembling
with it and he looks at Louis with all the fond amusement that he has missed so
much.
"It's okay, I get it," Zayn says and pecks Louis' lips. "And I appreciate it."
"I meant it though," Louis pouts. "You're not fucked up, don't say that ever
again. We really want you as our boyfriend and that is me, well us, officially
asking you to be ours."
Zayn bites at the corner of his mouth, eyes moving back and forth between Liam
and Louis. "I want that, too. I really... um... couldn't get either of you out
of my head. Just... can we keep it low for a while? I don't want the other kids
to talk about me..." The again stays silent and it makes Louis frown.
"Of course," Liam says, because he's always the patient one, and squeezes the
back of Zayn's neck.
"I guess it can be fun." Louis shrugs. "We could role play it like a secret
love affair. That would be hot."
"I will never role play with you again," Liam declares. "Last time was awful."
"The fuck? That wasn't my fault. You fell out of your role."
"'Cause I'm not a sexy secretary."
"You're no fun, Payno."
"I just prefer reality."
"What's your reality?"
"I'm in love with the two most beautiful boys in the world."
There it is, the urge to punch Liam again. He always says embarrassing things
like that. But it still makes Louis melt every fucking time and he wraps one
arm around Zayn with an innocent smile.
"Oh? And who would those be?"
Zayn chuckles when Liam rolls his eyes. "You two, of course."
"I know," Louis grins. "I just wanted to hear you say it."
*
It's probably the best summer Louis ever had (no offence to his mum). It's
weeks of pure bliss, having Zayn and Liam completely to himself, without any
duties, with little to no other campers. The empty Hermes cabin temporarily
becomes theirs, they just throw a few mattresses on the floor to sleep there,
fuck there and talk. It's their safe haven. (And Zayn isn't worried yet. It's a
bubble where he doesn't have to think about the things that are going to happen
soon enough). They learn to be three instead of two plus one and they learn
each other's ways. Louis even learns new things about Liam, and about himself.
He never liked it when Liam pulled his hair or bit him harshly, never liked the
pain. But when he says something rude and Zayn gently slaps his cheek he can't
hold back a moan. It confuses him because it's not about the small burn, not
about the pain itself.
Maybe Louis wants to be punished, maybe he wants to be stopped when he
oversteps. He is always cocky, always behaves like he knows better than
everyone else and he does try to push people as far as possible, knowing that
he would win. But he never won against Liam. Maybe it wasn't just Liam who was
intrigued by Louis but also Louis being fascinated by Liam. Because Liam wasn't
easy to break, he was so stubborn and so very decent. He was the first who ever
managed to make Louis trip. He's still the only one who can make Louis feel
ashamed of himself when he fucks up. And Zayn? Apparently he knows how to deal
with Louis, how to shut him down before he goes too far. And he's the one who
makes Louis realise that he rather likes to be put in his place.
"Shut up," Zayn says, so softly in contrast to the firmness of his fingers on
Louis' cheek. "You're always talking and you know exactly what it does to
people."
Louis writhes in Liam's strong arms that hold him in place, whines under the
bruise he is sucking into Louis' neck while Zayn torments him with words and
touches. It's definitely not what he's been expecting, not what he planned, but
he comes harder than he ever did before and part of it is because they're
finally together, the three of them – just them – and Louis can let himself be
vulnerable for once. Not always, not too often, but right now he can.
"Fuck, I love you," Louis groans through his orgasm, hips jerking with two
pairs of hands still touching him all over. He doesn't care if he said it too
early, he's hotheaded like that and if he feels like it then he feels like it.
It's as simple as that. He loves Zayn. He loves Liam.
"I love you, too." He never gets tired of Liam returning the words and Louis
twists his head, hand reaching out to grab him by the neck and kiss him in the
most awkward angle possible. He's giddy with happiness and wants to stay here
forever, kiss them forever. Then he breaks away to look at Zayn. He's gazing
back at Louis with flushed cheeks, eyes wide and hopeful. He's still not used
to getting what he wants, is he?
"I love you," Louis repeats and tugs at the front of Zayn's shirt. "You're so
perfect for us."
He wants to lean in and kiss him, wants to keep it sweet and soft so he doesn't
scare Zayn away but he beats Louis to it by crashing their mouths together.
It's not soft, it's rough. It's not sweet, it tastes of copper. Zayn is like
the sun to them, he is the son of Apollo and it shows in everything he does. He
can be wicked and hot like the sun on its peak (like Louis) but he can also be
brave and warm like the dawn (like Liam).
"I love you," Zayn says it back and then he tells Liam as well by muttering it
across his lips. They repeat it to each other for days.
The truth is, Zayn brings out the best and the worst in both of them. He's the
perfect balance and yet he knows how to bring each of them to their knees with
one touch, one look, one heart. He grabs them by their heartstrings and pulls
on them like a leash. Louis loves it. And it's not just the sex (which is
brilliant because none of them is just submissive and none of them is always in
charge, each time is different as they keep exploring new dynamics, trying to
figure out who they are now, together), it's also the conversations, how they
stay up all night sometimes just to talk. Which can be about anything, really.
He used to do that with Liam as well but at some point they would run out of
things to say and just fall asleep. Now Zayn is filling in the gaps, keeps the
conversation going and they forget about sleep pretty quickly.
It's so obvious now that they belong together. Sometimes Louis and Liam share a
look over a sleeping Zayn and grin at each other because they can't believe it
took them so long to realise this. It's not that they were unhappy before,
that's not it. But sometimes 'good' can become 'perfect'. That's what they are
and certainly what Zayn is. Nothing fucked up about him at all. Louis is there
for the fucked up things, for the flaws and that's okay. Otherwise it would be
a very ridiculous and unbelievable story of their life.
And who would want to read about that?
*
Louis wakes up in the middle of the night with Liam's hot mouth on his stomach,
sucking and nibbling at his skin. He can barely open his eyes but he moans
anyway, the familiarity of it keeping him warm and satisfied. It's almost like
a few weeks ago when it was just the two of them but Louis doesn't forget about
Zayn, he never could. He can feel the other boy's breath on his cheek, heavy
and uneven.
"I want to watch," he explains and Louis shudders, not just at the words or his
husky voice, but the look Zayn is giving him. It's intense and even if he
wasn't butt naked he'd still feel very naked. Louis likes these kind of
moments, they make him feel pretty.
Liam fucks him slow this time, makes 'love' to him, like he sometimes calls it.
Louis always laughs at him for it but deep down he craves the sensation and the
wording. And Liam knows that, so he keeps repeating it until Louis turns into a
hot mess and holds on to him desperately, like he's going to drown. But Louis
never actually drowns because Liam always keeps him above the surface. He's
doing it now too, fingers raking over Louis' body until they settle on his
waist, keeping them still for that slow and sensual circling of his hips and
sometimes Louis goes fuck, where did he learn that before he remembers fuck, he
learned that from me. It's so surreal.
"There's so much trust between you," Zayn whispers into Louis ear when Liam
snaps his hips a little more boldly, showing them how close he is. "I can only
hope to be part of that one day."
"You are," Louis gasps and twists his head, straining his neck as he tries to
get a kiss from Zayn.
A bit of sadness seeps through Zayn's eyes, staining his smile like the
beginning of a nightmare that won't unfold until much later. But Louis can't
ponder that now, not with Liam's dick inside of him, not with Zayn's lips
finally meeting his, not with both of them inside of his pounding heart.
*
Louis polishes his sword – his actual sword – while he sits in the grass. Zayn
is next to him on his back, with his legs thrown across Liam's lap. It's Liam
who always needs to touch. It's not about being touched, he just wants to put a
reassuring hand on either of them from time to time, like he's making sure that
they're still safe. To show them how much he cares. And where Liam shows his
love, Zayn shapes it into words like art. It just needs a specific phrase, each
word so innocent on its own but together they give both Louis and Liam weak
knees. Which is odd, they never had weak knees before. Just bruised lips,
bruised hearts and shy trust evolving into something that no one ever thought
would work. Louis doesn't even try to question it, that wouldn't end well for
him.
"We should go somewhere," Liam suddenly pipes up after a few minutes of
comfortable silence. Louis had run out of mean jokes so sometimes there's
nothing else to do but polish your sword. Which is really fucking shiny by now
but Louis keeps going anyway. "Together."
"Yeah?" Zayn smiles with his hands crossed behind his head, nudging Liam with
his foot. "Where do you wanna go?"
"The country is huge, we could go anywhere. Hollywood, the desert... California
has a lot to offer."
"Alcatraz," Louis sighs dreamily. "Or Disneyland."
Liam laughs. "Do I want to know how those two relate in your head?"
Louis shrugs. "Disneyland is fun. Alcatraz is fun."
"Only you would think an old haunted prison is fun," Zayn joins in with a laugh
of his own before he starts to draw patterns on Louis' knee.
"You don't know if it's haunted," Louis tells him and Zayn's face falls.
"It fucking is."
"What?" Liam stares at him. "How do you know?"
"Was there on a trip once. Saw something and it was creepy." He shrugs.
Louis' eyes widen and he puts his sword down next to him. "So fucking cool."
"It wasn't cool," Zayn scowls and sits up to shove playfully at Louis. "It was
the place where a monster attacked me for the first time. A nice satyr whisked
me away after that and brought me here."
"Aww, poor Zayn," Louis mocks in a delighted voice and pokes him in the cheek.
"Are you scared of your own shadow as well?"
A grin steals itself on Zayn's lips and Louis wants to steal it back.
Preferably with his mouth. "I'm not scared of anything."
"Brave little soldier," Louis hums and then Zayn is flinging himself at him and
they fall over in a pile of limbs, laughing and tussling.
It's play-fighting with a small, serious note to it, because they're boys and
always need to test their strength. He gets an elbow into Zayn's stomach but
then Zayn is smacking Louis' face, in a good way, and he lets out an
embarrassing groan, trying to cover it up with a yelp. But Zayn knows, he's
grinning so hard and Louis pouts, shoving at his shoulder. Liam indulges them
for about a minute before he grabs both of them by the neck of their shirts and
pulls them apart.
"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt," he complains.
"Liam," Louis whines. "You always spoil the fun. Also, Zayn started it, why do
you look at me like that?" He shoots Zayn another sly grin. "Now you've upset,
Daddy."
"Louis," Liam warns and then sits down between them. "Be serious."
It's one of those moments when Louis realises how much Zayn adds to their
relationship, expands it, changes it. Usually Louis would keep pushing Liam
until he gets angry with him, because that's what he always does. Well, not
always, not anymore, but sometimes he falls back into old patterns. Besides,
Liam is not as easily angered as he would've been years ago. He's gotten used
to Louis, which sounds horrible, but he means it in the best way possible.
Still, Zayn shifts back and braces his hands against the grass, looking at
Louis behind Liam's back. Apologise, he mouths at him because this time it's
Liam who needs support. Louis had been too caught up in the fun to realise how
bumped Liam was. California seems to be an important topic to him because he
wants them to go somewhere together, to spend time with them. Alright, maybe
Louis should apologise, but just a little.
"I'm sorry... a little." he presses his face against Liam's arm and gives him
his best pout, the kind of pout that usually makes Liam dig his thumb into it.
"You were saying?"
"Nothing."
"Come on," Zayn says and elbows him slightly. "California."
Liam sighs in defeat. "It's just... I don't know. It's the other side of the
country and I just wanna know what it would be like. We never fucking leave
this camp, even though we probably should. We're so old."
"Hey," Louis says and anxiously fixes his hair. "Not that old."
"The point is..." Liam shrugs. "I just want to be with you."
Louis smiles and Zayn smiles, too. "We should go then."
"Yeah," Louis agrees. "Disneyland and Alcatraz."
"We're not going there if Zayn had a bad experience."
"It's alright," Zayn assures him, them, and rests his chin on Liam's shoulder.
"You'll just need to hold my hand. Both of you."
"I don't know if I can do that," Louis confesses dramatically. "You're asking
for a lot."
"Yes, what a hardship." Liam finally smiles again and joins them in their
banter. That's what Louis loves best. "Spending all day with him and looking at
his pretty face."
"And his hot body."
"Don't forget his hair."
Zayn rolls his eyes when he pulls back but he still flushes a little. "You're
weird."
"True." Louis can't deny that.
"But we will go?" Liam asks them.
"Of course," Zayn promises (he promised). "Just you and me and Louis. It will
be perfect."
*
It all starts to go downhill when the summer ends, when the other campers
return and it's almost impossible to find a quiet and empty place. They put the
mattresses back into their respective places and Louis will never tell his
siblings about the things he did on them. Liam is back to being busy with his
head counsellor duties, Zayn is teaching the little ones about art and Louis
just lays across the hill, watching the sky, because he's bored. No one would
ever ask him to do anything or give any children into his care (they don't even
know that Louis actually likes children, that he's fucking great with them,
that every summer he spends home he visits the local orphanage and spends time
with the kids there. But how would they know? Louis never told anyone). Even
Chiron has given up on assigning any responsibilities to him. That's what Louis
hates the most actually, when people give up on him. The only one who ever
fought for him, who defied Chiron's orders just to be with Louis on their
fucking birthday, is Liam.
That's why it hurts whenever Zayn pulls away, whenever he chooses to stand next
to his brother instead of them. Liam squeezes Louis' hand just that little bit
harder each time and tries to tell himself and Louis that Zayn just needs a bit
more time. Because whenever they are alone it all seems forgotten and they are
equally desperate for each other. Louis kisses along Zayn's face, over his
scrubby jawline until he can latch on to his throat. He parts his lips against
the dark skin and starts to suck, starving for Zayn and his taste. He's lost in
it, so it takes him a moment to hear Zayn's breathless voice.
"No marks."
Louis whines because he wants to, wants to show everyone that Zayn belongs to
him, to them, not to the world. A frustrated growl escapes his mouth when Zayn
pushes at his shoulders, when their eyes meet in fear (Zayn for being found
out, Louis for being rejected).
"But I love you," Louis complains like a stubborn child. "We love you. What are
you so afraid of?"
Zayn smiles, hands moving from Louis' shoulders and up to his face. He walks
him backwards until Louis' back hits the other wall of the forge. Luckily the
Hephaestus kids always sleep in and no one else ever goes in here. Zayn's leg
slips so easily between Louis', pinning him against the rough wood before he's
being kissed so intensely his knees finally do give in. But Zayn is right there
with him, holding him up, keeping him together.
"I love you, too," Zayn whispers between the first kiss and the next one,
angling his head to the other side to dive back in. Louis stretches his neck,
chasing Zayn's mouth when he pulls away again. "Both of you. You're the best
thing that ever happened to me. Don't forget that." He smears the remains of
the kiss into Louis' bottom lip.
"Okay," Louis says. "But what if I lose all of my memories one day?"
"Then I'll remind you. Liam will remind you, too. You've been his first,
haven't you? He fucks just like you, he doesn't know anything else."
Louis swallows, fingers twisting in the fabric of Zayn's shirt. "Better for me
that he doesn't know what else the world can offer him. I couldn't compete."
"Bullshit," Zayn says, always denying Louis that little bit of self-loathe.
"You're his world and you always will be."
"And what are you then? To him and me?"
"A guest." Zayn shrugs and shifts his knee around, making Louis groan. "For
however long you'll have me. Now open your mouth."
And he does, because he wants to say something, because Zayn will never be just
a guest. But he shuts Louis up before he can get any of it out, before he can
make a point. (He will regret that in the future. But then again, Zayn has
already made up his mind by then and nothing could've stopped him.) So all he
does is kiss Zayn back, because he is in love.
Louis is so in love, he forgets that Zayn never answered his question.
*
Louis and Zayn watch Liam in the arena, how he fights three Ares kids and two
sons of Poseidon at once. He's quick with his daggers but even quicker when he
shifts his skin, when he turns into pure energy and almost wrecks those
demigods. Louis can't quite believe that he's the same boy who was so scared to
his bones to even try. Now he's a storm and Louis is so proud he can feel his
heart swell through his ribs and bleed all over his guts. He tells Zayn about
it, who listens with a smile, just as in awe of Liam's personal growth. Louis
really wished he could say the same about himself but he's still the same,
still just barely enough.
But he manages to forget about it these days, when Zayn smiles at him like
that. When Liam touches him like that. When they love him like that. It's
enough.
*
It takes Louis a while to figure out that when Zayn talks about his brother
it's always the same Apollo kid. Niall Horan, the one with the crooked teeth
and the bleached hair that matches Zayn's. The camp's sweetheart that everyone
loves because he's just so nice. He's a handsome lad and Zayn always looks at
him so fondly that Louis wonders what makes him his favourite brother. It can't
be just his kindness because he knows Zayn loves the wicked ones. So he pays
Niall a bit more attention on the archery field, during meetings, in the dining
pavilion and yes, Louis is there when Niall's and Harry's eyes actually meet
for the first time. It will be another of those moments he thinks back to in a
few years, in a hundred years. Everything always comes back to Harry and Niall,
even his own fate, all of their fates. He will never complain about it but they
both are a bit boring to Louis at this point, he can't see the sharp edges, the
understanding, the need. Maybe it is too early for that, though he's pretty
sure his first times with Liam and Zayn were magical. Maybe they're just more
interesting than Harry and Niall.
That is until he sees them stumble through bushes and trees and Louis crouches
down to watch them with his elbows on his knees, chewing on a gummy worm that
he stole from a Demeter kid. He didn't exactly plan to follow them but then he
saw something in Harry's eyes that intrigued him, some kind of desperation and
disappointment in himself. Like he's been telling himself to stay away from
Niall but couldn't. That's the stuff that interests Louis, that he can get
behind. And Niall? He is hiding something, subtle enough for Harry not to
notice but Louis knows what people look like when they want something they
shouldn't want. So that's how they dance, with their bodies close and their
hearts locked away because it's too dangerous, they could get burnt. Louis
keeps watching.
He watches an already breathless Harry staring into Niall's eyes with a frown
stuck to his slightly handsome face (Let's be honest here, Niall is the pretty
one, right?). His hands fumble with Niall's belt, shaking with the need Louis
hadn't seen last time. Of course they wanted each other but not so much that
they were trembling. They are now, drawing out the moment even more until Harry
is frustrated and tugs harder. Niall only grins at him with crooked teeth that
would probably leave a nice and shiny pattern on Harry's body.
"Repeat the rules for me, will ya?" He says with his thick Irish accent that
has Harry's whole body shiver.
"No kissing," he mutters and unconsciously fixes Niall's lips with his eyes
whilst his hand sneaks inside the boy's trousers. "Always say please."
"That's right," Niall moans with his head falling back against the tree.
His eyes are closed now and that's when Harry gives in to his emotions, lets
them take over his face and Louis can see how badly he wants to kiss Niall and
how it confuses him at the same time. He doesn't want to want Niall but he
can't help it, he gets Niall off with nothing but his fingers and every time
his other hand wanders down to his own crotch he makes a face and pulls back.
Almost like he isn't allowed to. Like Niall is keeping him on his toes at all
times. Louis thinks it's a little pathetic that he just obeys, that he wants to
be good, where is the fun in that? Break the rules and let them come all over
you with their rage, with their disappointment. Just endure the punishment that
you need so badly. Earn the tender kiss afterwards. Work hard for it.
"Please..."
But it's not like that with them. Because as soon as Niall comes and recovers
from his high he buries his teeth in Harry's neck, gets one hand into his long
curls while Harry rubs himself off on his thigh. He gets the punishment anyway,
only they don't call it that. It already is the reward for Harry because this
boy craves pain like a sweet kiss. Why though, Louis doesn't know. People are
complicated. But it's different from what Louis feels. Different from Zayn,
from Liam. And Niall? Louis needed some time to figure him out but now he has
to hold back a snort of laughter. He's not kind, he wants to wreck people and
now there's finally someone begging to be fucked up. There's the sharp edge,
Louis thinks. But Niall failed in his attempt to tear Harry down, didn't he?
That idiot absolutely played himself and now he is falling as well, falling
hard and fast and it's just a matter of time before they will get their shit
together. They will be disgusting, Louis can already tell.
He watches them trade a few more breaths, can basically feel how hard they try
not to kiss each other silly and Louis wants to roll his eyes because that's
some hardcore pretty woman bullshit right there. Louis had fallen for Liam long
before he kissed him. Same with Zayn. It's just Niall and Harry trying to live
in denial. They're so young.
Louis slips away then, trying to will down his interested dick. He understands
why Zayn likes Niall so much. There are traces of something darker in his
bones, Louis could see it in the way he handled Harry. Not the camp's
sweetheart then.
He wants to ask Zayn about it a few days later but when he waits for him and
Liam in front of The Big House it's only Liam who steps outside. Louis makes a
show out of kissing him, like he always does in front of the other head
counsellors who roll their eyes at them or shake their heads.
"Where's Zayn?" He asks afterwards.
"I don't know... Let's look for him, yeah?"
Liam is worried. Liam is never worried so Louis is worried, too. He hates being
worried.
*
They find him by the hearth that all cabins are centred around. There's a hard
look on his face that could ignite a fire if he wanted to. Louis doesn't doubt
that he could do it. But he doesn't look up when they call out for him. As soon
as they're close enough Louis quickly closes the distance between them to wrap
his arms around Zayn and kiss him. But Zayn doesn't kiss him back and that's
when he remembers that anyone could walk by and see them, which Zayn is still
very anxious about.
"Sorry," he apologises after stepping back and he stops smiling when he takes
in Zayn's face.
"What's wrong?" Liam asks and halts next to Louis, hands aching to touch both
of them, he can tell by the twitch of Liam's fingers.
Zayn takes a deep breath while his gaze flickers between them and he seems
terrified. He looks like he's about to go on a quest that he won't return from,
like a husband saying goodbye before he leaves for war, like an NPC in a tragic
backstory or a knight who is going to abandon his faithful steed. Louis doesn't
like this and he knows what Zayn will say before he utters even a single word.
He can already imagine the words gathering on Zayn's tongue like poison and he
wants nothing more than to drape himself over Liam and protect him from it
because this will hurt like a bitch.
"I'm leaving."
Ouch. Louis was wrong. It doesn't hurt like a bitch, it hurts like a fucking
wrecking ball and it's totally inappropriate to think of Miley Cyrus right now
but Louis' brain has just no sense of timing or decency. He tries to push the
song out of his head and pushes forward instead, immediately reaching out for
Zayn but he doesn't let him.
"No, please. I'm- I have to leave."
"What do you mean?" Liam looks so confused, so hurt and that pains Louis even
more. Shielding Liam from things like that has been his job for the last few
years. And now Zayn is ruining it, ruining them.
"Why?" Louis whispers (not out of spite this time, not to rile someone up, it's
genuine).
Zayn turns his head away, gaze not fixed on anything which means he's just
avoiding their eyes. He has done that before, when he thought he had destroyed
Louis' and Liam's relationship. But that can't be it, right? They've settled
this, they were good, what could possibly drive Zayn away now?
"It's just..." He shrugs. "They talk about me anyway, you know?"
"What do you mean?" Louis squints at him.
"Homewrecker," Zayn explains, voice cracking. "They called me a homewrecker."
"They did what?"
Louis has to circle his fingers around Liam's wrist to keep him still, to
prevent him from shifting in a fit of rage. He could destroy everything.
Literally.
"Is that why you're leaving?" Louis doesn't even recognise his own voice.
Zayn doesn't answer straight away, he keeps shifting from one foot to another
and takes a deep breath. There's a bag at his feet, Louis realises now. He
lifts it up and swings it over his shoulder, giving them a careful look. Blank
and unmoving.
"It's just not going to work. I just need to leave, alright? Sort myself out
and stuff."
"Zayn," Liam whines. "We'll just make it official. Okay, maybe they'll talk for
a while but we're here for you. We'll fight for you."
"No," Zayn shakes his head with a frown. "It's not worth it."
"Of course you're worth it," Liam says and approaches Zayn with stretched out
fingers while Louis is rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak.
Zayn raises one hand in front of Liam like a barricade that divides them,
protects them from each other's feelings. "But maybe you're not worth it."
Liam flinches like he's been punched, but it's Louis who feels the pain. It
makes his heart clench and he feels sick to his stomach because he found the
answer to the question he had dreaded for years. What does it feel like when
someone is breaking up with you? It doesn't feel like dying, doesn't feel like
your heart is being ripped out. No, it feels exactly like what it is: like
you're breaking.
"Fuck," Zayn sobs when he sees Liam's face and he takes a step closer before he
remembers what he is going to do. He tries to harden himself, Louis can see it
in his shoulders and his face. "I'm sorry, but... You have each other, yeah?
You'll get over it."
Over it. Like they've been nothing more than a summer fling, nothing more than
a crush. But when Louis told him that they loved him Zayn had said it back. Was
it a mistake? Are Louis and Liam the mistake?
"Zayn, don't," Liam says and grabs his arm when he's turning away from them but
he rips it away desperately.
"Just fucking let go, Liam," Zayn hisses but Liam is so stubborn, brave and
strong, he never gives up on anyone, not even when they give up on him. And
it's those moments when Liam is the most vulnerable, when his good heart is too
open and so easy to break. It's what makes Louis wake from his stupor and he
quickly loops both arms around Liam to hold him back. Which isn't easy because
it's Liam and he still wins every match, every game. But Louis has to protect
his heart even when his own aches because Zayn looks at him so fucking grateful
for letting him leave and then he just... he leaves.
"No – nonono, let me go, Lou." He tears at Louis' arms and it hurts but he
doesn't loosen his grip around his boyfriend, the only one he has left now and
he can't let him leave, too. What if Zayn agrees to running off with Liam and
then Louis is the only one who gets left behind? So he selfishly holds on.
"Just fucking-"
"Hey," Louis says and turns him in his arms so he stops looking at Zayn. Zayn,
who is about to corner one of the cabins and disappear from their sight
forever. "Look at me, yeah?"
"Louis," Liam whines and Louis can see that he's working himself up into a
crying fit. They don't happen often, Liam rarely lets himself but this just
wrecked him completely. "We can't just let him go, Louis, we can't – what if
he-"
"Stop it," Louis tells him. "We can't force him, Liam... He made that choice,
he doesn't... he doesn't want us."
"That's not true and you know it," Liam hisses. "You saw him, you saw his face.
We just have to prove-"
"He's gone, Liam." Louis wishes his own voice wouldn't sound so hollow. "Maybe
he's right and it's not worth it."
"Fuck you," Liam says with angry tears springing to his eyes and it feels like
another slap to Louis' face, not the good kind. "I could've stopped him."
Louis winces. "Liam..."
"Leave me alone, Lou."
With that he wrenches himself out of Louis' arms and stomps away, making the
clouds rumble above him. He walks fast and then he runs and then he's gone in a
blink of an eye, turning into a lightning bolt that is about to rage through
the sky. Well, maybe that's it. Maybe Louis fucked it all up. Maybe he's the
one who isn't worth it. Maybe he should've let them both go.
"Fuck," he mutters to himself. "That's bitter, even for you."
He slaps himself in the face once and then staggers off to the Hermes cabin, to
his cold bed and his dark thoughts. At least he knows he'll be able to sleep
tonight. He always sleeps best when he feels the worst. His siblings don't even
realise that something is wrong, they never do and he doesn't care. He just
wants to sleep, so that's what he does, like a stone, never moving, just
breathing and dreaming. He doesn't wake until the next morning when it's pretty
late already. He probably missed breakfast but he can't think about it much
because suddenly there's a hot mouth on his face and a body pressing him down.
"I'm sorry," Liam mutters into his skin, kissing down his cheek and jaw. "I'm
sorry for what I said I just... I was so..." he trails off with a frustrated
groan and Louis can't help but stare at him in awe. He didn't actually leave
then?
"Liam..." He doesn't say anything else, he surges upwards and kisses him hard.
It's clingy and needy and Louis whimpers when Liam kisses him back just as
desperate, like Louis is the only thing keeping him sane right now. Louis opens
his mouth while he slides his arms around Liam's neck, just closerclosercloser.
"Please don't leave me too," Louis admits between kisses, between deep intakes
of breath.
"I wouldn't, I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"No it's not."
"Liam-"
"I was just so angry. I thought I could've made him stay, but he already made
up his mind, didn't he? He never really settled in with us. He always held back
that little bit. Fuck, I feel so stupid now."
Louis watches Liam falling apart above him, but he is right there to catch
every little piece and he'll go through Hades to put them back together. He'd
do the same for Zayn.
"It's not your fault, Liam... It's no one's fault here, okay?"
"But what if it is?" Liam looks like he's feeling sick and drops his forehead
on Louis' shoulder. "What if he doesn't know, what if it never really got
through to him? How much he means to us? Maybe we should've tried harder."
Louis stares at the ceiling, listening to Liam's pain that mirrors his own,
that is so very much the same. They might clash from time to time but they're
always on the same page when it comes to feelings. So maybe Liam is right,
maybe Louis should've let him go after Zayn, but his own fucking mind had
gotten in the way once again. He's disgusted with himself and clings to Liam a
little harder, kissing his hair and every stretch of skin he can reach.
It goes on like that for days, weeks, months and Louis' siblings stop frowning
whenever Liam climbs into his bed at night. It's still strange to be the one
Liam relies on the most, but he's taking the burden, gladly, shoving his own
feelings away, far away into the corner of his mind with all the other piled up
stuff that will burst out of him one day, but not today. He has to take care of
Liam now. They even reach a point when he thinks they'll be okay again, that
they will get better. But it gets worse again the night Zayn shows up in camp.
He's not here for them, just for his stuff and both their hearts sink at the
cold and stern expression he has put on. They don't have a chance then to
actually talk to him because right after that Niall barges into their moment,
ruins it, appropriates it and Louis will say "It's good that they're talking",
even though it's them who need to talk to him so badly. But Zayn is gone again
as soon as Niall returns and him and Liam are devastated all over again.
It's the twelfth night since Zayn left that Louis wakes up to Liam crying into
his back and dampening his shirt. He clutches at Liam's fingers on his chest
and lifts them to his mouth, soothing him with gentle kisses. He wishes he
could go back to that moment when Zayn walked away, could let go of Liam, let
go of his fear. Perhaps they could've stopped him. Liam could have for sure.
But Louis wasn't strong enough. It's his fault.
And they can't follow Zayn now, they don't even know where to start and they
can't leave camp unless it's for a quest and...
Louis frowns to himself.
He slowly takes a look over his shoulder and catches sight of Liam still
asleep, so beautifully unaware of the ridiculous things Louis would do for him
and Zayn. He knows how much Louis loves him but does he know how often he lies
to him, too? Not to hurt him, but to make him happy. It's just another of his
quick decisions that make so much sense in his head, that he doesn't think
through. So Louis sneaks his way out of Liam's arms without waking him and
slips out of the bed, into his feathered shoes and into the night.
There's something he has to steal.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     This is it!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It's Persephone's farewell party since she'll go back to the underworld soon to
be with her husband. The music is light-hearted and there are nymphs and satyrs
dancing around the gods like an assemble of spring to remind Persephone of what
she'll be missing. The music is great and there's a lot of food Louis would
like to taste but he's on a mission here and he needs to blend in with the
crowd if he wants to succeed. Sometimes it's enough to just lurk around,
sometimes he doesn't need to dress up but he feels like he should be extra
careful today. For that he needs help and he spots a Maenad who looks very
comfortable in the scenery. She's draped in purple and red silk with a brightly
veined pattern littering her dark skin. There's make up and glitter around her
blood-shot eyes and Louis is not quite sure if her lips are naturally that red
but when he takes a look at the other Maenads it appears to be a thing. They
are beautiful with leaves tangled in their hair and Louis can imagine why gods
would try to seduce them. Nymphs are just very appealing, all kinds of them.
So Louis hides behind a satyr as he draws closer, going with the flow of the
music to melt with it and shift into a flicker in the corner of someone's eye.
It's just the outskirts of the huge dance floor and when he reaches the Maenad
he drapes an arm around her with his gaze fixed on all the different kind of
creatures.
"What a wild party," he tells her and she doesn't even jump, she accepts him as
part of her world and casually grabs his hand that is hanging loosely over her
shoulder.
"It's the same boring party every year. I told Demeter a thousand times that I
could do the planning, I have so many ideas for different themes and party
games but no, it always has to be Babette. Like she's so good at everything,"
the Maenad sighs.
"A shame," Louis agrees and carefully drags his fingers over her arm until he
feels the goosebumps popping up on her skin like flowers in spring. "You
would've done an amazing job."
She finally looks at him then, angling her head to take in his face. He gives
her his best grin and slowly steps back, fingers lingering on her shoulder
before he leaves his outstretched hand hanging in the air for her to take.
"Care for a dance? I love this song." Which is a lie, he doesn't even know that
song but it's slow and perfectly fits into his plan.
And she is definitely interested. She licks her lips and touches his hand, lets
him pull her into the crowd. She's his invisibility cloak for now, until he
figures out how to get into the far centre and closer to Demeter, to the other
gods.
"Do I know you?" The Maenad asks.
"I'm Louis, son of Hermes." It's always best not to lie too much.
"Oh, you are an immortal? I have never heard of you."
Louis wants to laugh. Like he would be the son that Hermes would beg Zeus to
make immortal. But he goes along with it, makes it as natural as possible,
weaves it into his story. "Of course you never heard of me. He has so many
children..."
"But he cared enough to make you immortal and take you to the party as his
plus-one."
Louis almost trips, almost takes her down with him but he's saved by the wings
on his left shoe, almost like they're saying careful there, buddy. They always
have his back, don't they? Even though he practically kidnapped them. But maybe
they liked that, maybe they're as fucked up as he is. Anyway, Hermes is here?
Well shit, he'll definitely have to avoid his dad.
"Can you keep a secret?" He whispers into her ear, leaning in far enough to
make her feel nice and comfortable around him. He smiles when he feels her nod
against his shoulder. "I invited myself. There's no way I'd miss a party like
that and not meet a beautiful Maenad."
She laughs and shoves at his chest, grinning at him with sharp teeth. "You're
an odd one, aren't you? Why are you here then?"
He pulls her in again and makes her sway in his arms. "Do you want to know all
my secrets? I don't even know your name."
"Candy."
"Really?" She nods. "Well, Candy. I want to prove myself to the gods and be
remembered for great things. It's awful when you go to a sick party like this
and the nymph you want to ask out doesn't even know who you are. No point in
being a god then. They don't even give me a chance, you know? Kind of like with
you and Babette."
She looks at him for the longest time and he knows that she's thinking about
it, about helping him, she only has to consider first what she's getting out of
it.
"You want me to help you," she states.
"Yes." And he'd give her anything in return because if he doesn't do this he
might break down crying and then there's nothing left between Liam and rock
bottom.
"Okay."
He blinks at her. "Okay?"
"Okay." She nods. "I will help you, what do you want me to do?"
"You will help me," he echoes. "Just like that?"
"Just like that."
He forgets to move, forgets to dance, he just stares at her all flabbergasted.
"Why?"
"Because it will at least make one god angry and I appreciate a little
mischief, I'm a servant of Dionysus after all. You're also very cute." She
blushes. "But you don't have to flirt with me to get what you want. I prefer
honesty."
"Oh..." It's the first time in a while he feels a little awkward in his own
skin. "Sure. Honesty, I can do that."
"Good. So again, what do you want me to do?"
He gives her a small smile, an honest one and plucks a leaf from her hair to
brush a small kiss to it. "I want to look like you."
"Like me? As you wish, handsome."
She drags him away and they stumble like they're drunk and about to disappear
into a quiet corner, at least that's what Louis hopes they look like. It takes
a while for her to get him ready, to drape him in silk and paint his face until
he looks close to the other Maenads. He's glad he shaved, it makes it easier
for the glitter to stick to his cheeks. Her thumb smears the red over his eyes
and his lips and when she ruffles his hair he feels leaves tangle up in them.
They are like hers, bright and green.
"There you go, you will blend in nicely."
He smiles up at her. "I'm pretty then?"
"Very," she says and places both hands over his chest. "You're lucky that
nymphs are pretty flat."
He gasps. "It's rude to just touch someone's tits, you know."
She grins at him and when he stands to look down at himself he knows he will be
convincing. It's not just his own power he's drawing strength from. Sure, he
can move and not be seen but changing into this? To shift into something that
he's not? He's learned that from Liam, from his ability to let go of flesh and
skin and everything that makes him him. And Zayn just knows how to hide his
fears and thoughts behind his eyes where no one can reach them. He's an artist,
and actor, he has perfected it in front of Liam's and Louis' eyes and it still
hurts. It hurts because it means Zayn never trusted them. Which makes the
situation even more hilarious because they are not with him and yet they help
him doing what he has to do.
"Thank you," he tells her and drapes the long end of the silk over his arm. "I
will not forget that."
"You're welcome. Dionysus doesn't like heroes but I'm always happy to help
them."
"A hero," he snorts and walks past her. "I'm afraid I'm anything but." Heroes
are brave and self-less, they do things out of the goodness of their hearts.
Louis is just selfish.
The party has gotten louder, the music thrums through the floor and everyone
seems a little more drunk. Good, it will work to his advantage, it will make
all the sharp edges look softer in the warm light. Louis will fool them all.
He sways through the crowd in a fluid motion and brushes past the ecstatic
bodies that notice him, but only briefly, barely. He's subtle enough to not
catch anyone's full attention but also striking enough to not look like someone
who's sneaking around. He's part of it, that's what it's always been about. He
becomes something that he is not. If only Zayn and Liam knew how much he gets
it, how much he understands them. He wishes they could see him now. He wishes
he was brave enough to tell them about himself and his fears. Maybe he is no
better than Zayn.
He is coming closer, he sees Demeter and Persephone, sees the golden hint of
the cornucopia shining behind her. She'd never hide it, it's the symbol of her
power and no one, absolutely no one would dare to steal it. It gives Louis a
sick thrill, knowing that the gods are so arrogant they'd leave their hearts on
a plate, would abandon it in plain sight because who would steal from them?
They are omnipresent, they are everlasting, there is nothing that escapes their
eye. Louis almost gets hard from it, from knowing that he's the one who will do
it, who will fuck with them so badly they won't know what to do. He's always
been like that, it's always been about the challenge. This is his greatest one
so far and the reward is something no god could ever give to him: Zayn. If it
works out, he'll have him back in his arms and Liam will smile again and be
happy and then they'll make Zayn happy together. Yeah, that's definitely a good
plan, it's all Louis is thinking about.
He thinks about it so much in fact that he sees him almost too late, this one
god, shining as brightly as the rest of them. He laughs at something a dryad
says, throwing back his head in a way that reminds him of himself. Louis can
see blue eyes his mum would always say he got from his father.
Hermes.
He doesn't see Louis but Louis is frozen like a pillar made of stone. He's
still wearing his feathered shoes, feels them itch to break free but they
don't, they stay loyal to him (well would you look at that). How ironic is it,
that all he ever wanted was to see his dad and for him to look at Louis so that
he can really see him and maybe be proud of him. Because right now it would be
his downfall if Hermes actually recognised him. He could still do it though, he
could reveal himself and perhaps they could talk, perhaps Hermes would get him
out of this situation. But that is not what Louis wants anymore, not right now
anyway. He's here for the loves of his pathetic life. Because they make
everything better, bearable, lovable.
He takes a deep breath, ready to carry on but then he feels a hand on his upper
arm that tugs him around so he bumps against another chest.
"I haven't seen you before, you look lovely."
Louis stares at Mr. D and tries not to scream. "Thank you," he squeaks.
"You're one of my mine, aren't you? I thought I knew them all."
Louis hides half his face behind his hand, pretending to cover up his blush.
"Only the lucky ones get noticed by the gods, don't they?"
"Not the lucky ones, the pretty ones," Mr. D answers and wraps one of Louis'
short strands of hair around his finger.
He is blushing for real now but only because he has to suppress a laugh. It's
probably the most ridiculous situation he's ever been in and there are still
others swirling around them and it's like in one of those stupid films where
everything slows down to focus on those two idiots in love. Only Louis isn't in
love and Mr. D can't fucking know that it's him. He's still pulling at Louis,
knowing that all nymphs would do his bidding, all of them would fall for him.
Distraction, distraction, distraction, Louis' brain screams, his body falling
forward and his mind blank as he wraps his arms around Mr. D and kisses him
hard on the mouth.
The god is surprised (by the kiss? By the strength behind it? By the firmness
of this nymph's body?) and surprise is all he needs, just for that moment, to
draw away again with a smirk and drown in the sea of bodies one more time, to
disappear from Mr. D's sight. As soon as he's safe he starts to gag and fights
the urge to clean his lips with sandpaper. He will never do that again and no
one can ever know about this. But at least it has worked, he's almost there and
no one else disturbs him, no one else really sees him, not even when he's
standing right next to Demeter.
"Mother, please," Persephone sighs. "I won't be gone for that long, it's not
like this is the first time."
"I don't like it," Demeter hiccups.
"Time will rush by, I'm telling you."
"Yes, because you'll be getting laid and then there's me and--"
"Mother, please. Don't start that again."
Louis grins to himself while he cradles the cornucopia in his arms like a baby,
like a human breathing thing. He has to treat it like one and everyone else
will believe it too, they'll see it, too. It's as simple as that. (It's become
so simple to him that he doesn't even remember how hard he has worked for it.
He doesn't even know that he's the best at it, better than any of his siblings.
But Liam knows. And Zayn knows. They just never told him, not yet, and that's
something they will regret.)
"It's alright," Louis whispers to the cornucopia. "You'll be safe with me."
He leaves like that. He just carries it away, further away from the realm of
the gods, past the ever empty and ever swallowing darkness of the void until
his shoes need a break. He slumps down on a mountain and drapes the silk closer
around him to avoid the cold. He wants to watch the sun rise, wants to know
what the cornucopia looks like in bright daylight. There are already fruits
tumbling from the opening and Louis catches one of the apples that look so red
and ripe and delicious. It can't hurt to take a bite, to taste from the power
of the gods, even though he knows he'll see nothing of that. To mortals it's
just an apple, it's nothing.
At least that's what he thought.
The flesh of the fruit gives way under his teeth and jaw and the rich juice
gushes out to fill his mouth. It tastes better than nectar, better than Liam's
or Zayn's mouth and better than the grilled cheese sandwich his mum used to
make for him whenever he was sick.
("Mummy, I don't think that's appropriate for someone who's sick."
"Nonsense. You're feeling bad enough already so you get something delicious!"
He felt even more sick in the evening, but he was also happier.)
It makes the tears spill from his eyes while he chews on the apple, a small sob
in his throat making it hard to swallow. With the back of his hand pressed to
his mouth he curls in on himself, around the cornucopia and then he weeps for
the first time since Zayn left. He weeps until the sun rises and he eats the
whole apple, each bite making him realise more and more that it knows. The
cornucopia knows what he did and it will make him pay for it eventually. But
that's not the reason he cries. He's crying because he'd do it again, and when
the consequences come for him one day he won't regret it, not if it works, not
when it means he will get Zayn back, not when it means he will stop missing
him, them.
(Maybe he will regret it a little)
*
"All lands turn to white,
as the mourning seasons fight.
And when thunder meets the sun,
a son of love is on the run.
Four heroes leave, yet five must return.
Do they not mend the grief, winter shall burn."
Louis pretends to be shocked and shoves his hands deeper into his jacket,
ducking his head between his shoulders because it's so damn cold. Sure, he
could wear a coat or something but then he'd have no excuse to bury himself
into Liam's side and make him drape his arm around Louis. It's all tactic, it's
all planned. He makes them believe that he slithers into situations like that
without knowing but it's not true. Well, mostly. He usually knows what he's
doing but loses control of it after like, two seconds.
"Do you really think it's about Zayn?" Louis asks Niall a few days later in a
moment of quiet while Liam scolds Harry for buying a shit ton of ice cream,
even though it's winter. Liam insists then on managing the money. Of course he
does, Louis thinks because his boyfriend can be the biggest spoilsport on this
earth but at the same time Louis knows that they all need someone like that.
"It has to be," Niall answers with a tight expression.
He's so sure of it and Louis just hopes they'll find Zayn down the road, before
everything goes to shit. He knows where the Cornucopia is, at least he knows
where he dropped it. Roswell was a good idea of his, he still has to chuckle
whenever he thinks about it. It's just really fucking funny to him, okay? Maybe
some aliens will pick it up for him. But he can't tell Liam and he can't tell
the other guys, those two fucking idiots that Louis doesn't know what to think
about.
Louis has watched Harry and Niall during their quest, saw how their looks
changed, how something grew between them, something that goes past the sex
stage, past the lovey dovey stage. They actually like each other, may the gods
help them all. They're silly in the same way and still love how different the
other is, like two sides of the same coin. They are fascinated by whatever the
other is doing and what exactly is Harry doing?
"He's learning," Niall tells him.
Louis hums as they watch Harry in front of the soda machine. He's circling his
finger in front of the number pad with his tongue sticking out, sweat gathering
on his forehead. He takes a very deep breath before he finally smashes a number
into it and then waits for his drink. He presents it to all three of them with
a triumphant grin and neither Liam nor Louis have any clue what's going on.
"Look, Niall – I made a choice!" Then he wriggles his eyebrows like it's an
inside joke, like they are having a secret bargain that has to be settled now.
Neither of them finds out what it is because Niall just rolls his eyes with a
snort and then pulls Harry in by his shirt to capture his lips. Their grins
melt together in a hungry kiss and the soda can almost slips from Harry's
fingers when Niall pushes him against the wall.
"So proud of you," Niall says with a hoarse voice and teases a whimper out of
Harry's throat by digging his thumb into a bruise on his collarbone.
He gets praised for unimportant or small or ridiculous things like that and
Louis doesn't know if he's confused or interested. He also wonders if he and
Liam were as embarrassing in their teenage love stage as they are now. Fuck,
now he feels old, like he's the fucking mum of the group. His eyes suddenly
widen in terror and he turns to the dad of the group, sucking in a sharp
breath.
"Am I the mum?" He asks horrified and Liam just laughs at him.
"No, you're the comic relief who saves the world."
Louis gasps in relief. "I love you."
"I know."
*
"Make them stop, Li," Louis groans into the sheets, pillow jammed over his ears
to muffle the sounds of a shamelessly moaning Harry and the creaking of their
bed in the room next door.
"The only way to make them stop would be by walking in on them and I won't do
that."
Louis shifts his head around before he lifts one corner of the pillow so he can
glower at Liam. "You know that wouldn't stop them. They wanked each other off
in the car while we were right there. They have a fucking kink, I'm telling
you."
"So what do you want me to do?" Liam sighs.
"I don't know, kill them?" He asks hopefully.
Liam thinks for a moment. "No, I kind of like them."
"Ugh."
Louis goes back to hiding under his pillow but it's not working. He can hear
everything, Harry's fucking porno voice, Niall's hisses and whispers and
praises, the sound of skin meeting skin. They've been at it for an hour now and
he doesn't understand how they can still get it up. Don't they need sleep?
Because Louis is fucking tired. He's always tired lately but that's mostly
because he's having bad dreams about nothing in particular. They are just bad,
no big deal, no therapy needed. Maybe it's the guilt, because it's his fault
that Zayn is gone, it's his fault that the world is ending, he didn't think
this through. Now he might lose everything. He is just an idiot, isn't he? A
fucking idiot.
"Hey, don't," Liam mutters and stops Louis from banging his face against the
headboard by getting his hand in-between.
How convenient! That's exactly what he needs, a strong firm hand on his face,
maybe on his arse, just the familiar burn because he deserves it.
"Just a little, yeah?" He asks and carefully wraps Liam's fingers around his
throat while he fixes him with steady eyes.
Liam swallows and rubs his thumb over Louis' vein. "Why?"
"Because it's my fault."
"It's not-"
"Doesn't matter," Louis hisses and pulls Liam over, on top of him, between his
legs. "Just pretend then, yeah? Pretend that it's my fault, just fucking...
just punish me, Li."
Liam looks so sad and hurt and Louis doesn't understand why. But he doesn't ask
again, he just starts to squeeze his hand around Louis' neck as he presses
against him, the way Zayn had showed him forever ago (gods, it's been so long,
too long, he misses Zayn so much it's killing him). But he still has to adjust
Liam's fingers, has to press down on them with his own until it feels right,
until numb bliss floods his brain and he feels like flying again. He loves
flying, loves his shoes, and he has earned them himself because he has to work
hard for fucking everything. And he is a goddamn liar because he doesn't even
value hard work that much it's just that it is all he ever had to do. How great
would it be to just own something without having to work for it? Just once?
"I'm sorry," he chokes when Liam temporarily loosens his grip, when Harry's
nails scratch against the wall, when Niall moans Harry's name. "I'm so fucking
sorry."
"I know you are," Liam murmurs and it's wrong, that's not what he's supposed to
say.
Louis needs this and he has to suffer just a little more to deserve that soft
touch again. He fucked up and he will fuck up again, he needs to be taught a
lesson, he can't just always give lessons, it doesn't work like that. But
that's not Liam and that's fine because the two of them have never worked like
that. Zayn had been there for it, he just loves to tear Louis apart piece by
piece and when it's over Liam will slide in and hold him and touch him and put
him back together. He's not made to give punishment, he cares too much. Louis'
eyes flutter open and he can spot the unrest in Liam's eyes. He hates himself
even more for making him do this. So he pries Liam's fingers away from his
throat and shakes his head, breathing heavily. He is hard, both of them are but
they are not even trying to do anything about it. They haven't had sex since
Zayn left and it's killing him because it kills Liam, too.
"Sorry," Liam apologises immediately and smooths his other hand down Louis'
face, stroking his rough cheek.
"Don't," Louis croaks and realises that it's finally pleasantly silent on the
other side of the wall. At least they're not fucking anymore but he can hear
them laugh and giggle and Louis hates them for being so happy while neither of
them know about the desert that threatens to consume his and Liam's heart. But
it's not their fault either. It's just Louis, just him.
"We'll find him," Liam promises, like he always does. "We'll be fine."
Louis just nods and falls asleep with Liam on top of him, like a secure blanket
that never fails to make him feel safe. He is sorry, fuck he's so sorry, but
he'll make it all better again. He'll get his shit together and he'll be there
for Liam because he can see it, he knows it, he knows that he's not the only
one breaking here.
*
Louis doesn't know at what point everything changes. He doesn't know at what
point Harry stops to annoy him or how Niall becomes the one he prefers to hunt
down food with. It's probably because Harry and Louis are actually a good team
when it comes to fighting monsters and he's not that much of a bitch as Louis
thought he was. He doesn't quite get Harry though, doesn't understand how he
can be so tough and merciless in one moment and in the next moment he's
watching a soap bubble rise into the air like a child in awe. But it's charming
in a way and maybe that's one reason why Niall has fallen for him, why Harry
has turned from a challenge into someone Niall could see himself with. Surely
everyone wanted a piece of Harry, but who actually wanted to be with him? No
one, at least not when he was playing his little game. They look at him
differently now. Now that he's in love (but Harry is not looking back at them
anymore).
And Niall isn't a picky eater like the other two, so him and Louis usually
stuff their faces with sweets and junk food before they buy some healthy stuff
to bring back. And when Liam asks where the rest of the money is, Louis will
just tell him that if he wants organic food he has to pay for it. The grin he
shares with Niall is strange because it makes him feel like they are friends.
Louis doesn't have any friends, only enemies and lovers and people who admire
him because they don't actually know the real him. But Niall and Harry have
already seen him at his worst and at his best, have seen him lose his mind
during a fight, have witnessed one of his pathetic self-hate triads. Somehow
they're still here (well, it's not like they can leave, they're on a quest. But
they don't judge because they understand. They have their own problems to deal
with).
And Louis makes it through all of that crap. Through Harry taking off (he wants
to say I told you so, but Liam punches him in the arm before he can, because he
knows exactly what's going in Louis' head), through Liam and Niall almost
killing each other, and yeah, somewhere between all of that is Aphrodite. For a
moment he considered to run off with her but then he remembered that he's not
into his friends' mums and that would be gross. Besides, he really likes Liam
and Zayn and they're much fitter than her (fuck, he hopes Aphrodite can't read
minds).
"You alright?" Louis asks much later and slumps down next to Niall who sits by
a river and stares into the distance with his glasses hooked into the front of
his shirt. Apparently he can see far without them and Louis wonders what he's
looking for.
"Huh?" Niall tears his gaze away from the horizon and blinks at Louis like he's
out of focus.
Louis smirks. "Did you check out Harry's arse from miles away?"
Niall actually blushes and fumbles with his glasses to put them on again. "No,
I didn't."
"But did you see him?"
"No," Niall sighs.
"Don't worry, he'll be back soon. Or we'll find him soon. He can't survive
without you long enough anyway, that boy is bloody whipped."
Niall snorts and rubs at his eyes under the glasses. "Don't tell him I said
that but... it might be the other way around."
"Ugh, I knew you two would be disgusting."
"What?"
"Nothing, slightly less golden boy. Absolutely nothing." Then he shoves Niall
into the river and goes to find Liam.
*
"I need you," Liam whispers when Niall is asleep with his cheek pressed against
his sleeping bag, one arm draped around nothing, fingers curling into the damp
grass like they are looking for a mop of curly hair.
"It's alright," Louis whispers back and hugs Liam's face to his chest, fingers
raking through his short hair. "You got me, remember?"
Liam muffles his sob against Louis' shirt. "I remember."
"Good."
He thinks about adding something witty to make Liam laugh, to distract him from
their situation because that's what he usually does. This time all he does is
rock Liam in his arms and not sleep at all.
*
It takes them ages to cross the desert, to find the Death Valley Ranch. Louis
half expects to just find another tag, expects this hunt to go on for forever
because he can't even imagine what it would be like to see Zayn again, to find
him and finally take him home (Home. Where exactly is home? Everything's
changing and shifting and Louis has trouble keeping up with it). What would
Zayn look like? What would they say? He tries not to waste any thought on it,
tries not to get his own hopes up, not when Liam holds his hand so painfully
tight because he is hoping.
And then they're there, sweaty and exhausted, and Zayn is there as well, clean
and more beautiful than ever. It's rude, honestly. It's like two goblins are
trying to rescue their disney prince. Fucking wild. Louis is so caught up in
that metaphor that he doesn't realise what's going on until Liam has Zayn in
his arms and they're talking.
"I thought... California was our plan. You promised." Liam looks so betrayed
and Louis gets it but at the same time he's not surprised. If Zayn wanted to be
found of course he'd come here. He ran away but not really. They've all been
idiots.
"I know." Zayn lowers his eyes.
"We're here to get you home, Zayn." Louis wants to rush over and sweep Zayn off
his feet but his own feet seem to think otherwise. It's just a tiny baby step.
"I know... I know but--"
"No buts this time. We won't let you walk away from us again."
"Liam." It almost makes him cry, how Zayn looks like he wants to pull away
again, gaze not as hard as it used to be but still so very reluctant. "I just
want you both to be happy. You deserve more than the gossip, the rumours, the--
"
"Gods, Zayn," Liam sobs and Louis feels horrible, he should be holding Zayn as
well but he fucking can't move. "You have no idea how much you mean to us, do
you? We wanna spend every single day showing you how you make us feel. Fuck
everything else."
Louis sucks in a sharp breath. Fuck everything else. Gods, Liam is so smart,
isn't he? He absolutely could've made Zayn stay, Louis can see it in Zayn's
blown eyes, like they're looking at Liam for the very first time, like he's not
getting in the way of his own happiness for once. His eyes flicker over Liam's
shoulder then, to lock with Louis', all vulnerable and questioning.
No, apparently Liam isn't the one who could've made him stay. It's both of
them, Louis too. Because Zayn loves him? Liam loves him? He is fucking loved,
gods. That's when he finally breaks free of his stupor and hurries over to
plaster himself to Zayn's back so they can hold him together. He clutches at
Liam with both hands while he buries his face into Zayn's neck to breathe him
in, to make sure it's really him. He smells of shampoo and clean sweat but
there's also the faint scent of paint. He smells like art.
He doesn't even notice that the other two have left until he pulls away and he
silently thanks them for their discretion. Then again... they are probably
horny and wanted to be alone as soon as possible. Not that he can blame them.
Liam gets his lips on Zayn as soon as he's on steady feet again and Louis sighs
happily, waiting eagerly for his turn. He gets his hands in Zayn's now dark
hair and kisses him firmly, over and over again, just small pecks on his lips.
The angle changes after each kiss, until he finds the right one, the one that
makes Zayn's shoulders drop in defeat, makes him almost go boneless in Liam's
strong hold.
"We missed you so much," Liam whispers for the both of them because Louis still
isn't willing to draw back, almost like he's worried it might be the last time
he gets to kiss Zayn. No, he's just making up for the lost time, all the times
that he couldn't kiss him. "Gods, Zayn."
Louis pulls back eventually, hands still on him so he can't run away from them.
"Show us your room, yeah?"
"My room..." Zayn's voice trails off, eyes fixed on Louis' lips.
"We need to show you just how much we missed you. Liam just said it, didn't he?
Every single day, starting now." He smirks at Zayn and then over his shoulder.
"Liam would call it proper lovemaking."
"I would," Liam says with pride, never ashamed of his feelings or anything (he
never was ashamed of Louis, of being with him. He's just fucking amazing). He
presses a kiss to the spot behind Zayn's ear after giving Louis a soft look.
"Because I love you, Zayn."
"Fuck," Zayn curses and turns around to catch Liam's mouth.
It's much more desperate this time and Louis can't help but grin at them
because he's so fucking happy. They have Zayn back, they have him back which
means everything else can wait; the end of the world, the prophecy and Louis'
punishment for what he did. But he still thinks it was worth it because Zayn
takes both of their hands and holds on tightly, leads them through the corridor
and over to some stairs that they climb together quickly. The room he's
occupying is quite big but there's not much in it. It looks old, like someone
has set it all up to make it look like it's from the past. Only there's a
turned off phone and clothes lying on the bed and him and Liam quickly shove
Zayn into it, glad for the fact that it's big enough to fit all three of them.
Zayn always liked to have his space.
Louis and Liam climb on top of Zayn as soon as his head hits the pillow and
they reach for every bit of skin they can find. Louis kisses up his neck while
Liam moves down from his temple and they almost meet on Zayn's lips, sneaking
in a kiss of their own because they haven't felt this good in months. They are
whole again and this time Louis won't sabotage himself and he hopes Zayn will
refrain from that, too. It's just Liam who is always sure about everything, who
never doubts. They probably both wish they could be more like him.
"I should tell you," Zayn moans against Liam's lips but Louis shakes his head
immediately.
"Later. We can talk later and just fuck now, is that okay? Because I really
want to ride you." Zayn's breath shudders. "That okay with you, babe?" He asks
Liam who kisses him as soon as the question leaves his mouth.
"Yes, fuck, of course."
Louis sits up quickly and Zayn follows him with wide eyes, swallowing hard.
"But let Liam prepare you. You always look so good on his fingers. He knows
exactly how you like it."
"You know it, too." He drags his nails along Zayn's face, cards them through
the long strands of hair. "Please stop trying to be a guest." He remembers the
words so well now, has been pondering them ever since, wishing he could go back
in time.
"You said we would fuck now and talk later," Zayn deadpans and it makes Louis
giggle in delight. Somehow his laugh makes Zayn smile like the sun and Liam
presses a kiss to his cheek.
"What are we waiting for then?"
Zayn's smile quickly turns into a smirk and his pretty hands start to roam
Louis' body along with Liam's, stripping him out of his clothes until he's
naked, until they are all naked and oh, how he has missed that. Louis can hear
the sounds of moans and kisses as he looks through his bag for lube and he
finds it soon, the one he had nicked from Harry in the hopes it would make him
and Niall stop fucking (it didn't). When he crawls back on the bed Liam is bent
over Zayn, ravishing his mouth with teeth and tongue and Zayn sighs so happily,
so longingly, Louis' heart is about to leap out of his chest once again. One
day it will just fucking run from him, he can tell.
He straddles Zayn's thighs carefully and the hand that isn't hooked over Liam's
neck shoots out to touch Louis. Zayn's cock is already stiffening but Louis has
been rock hard ever since he saw that there's a bed (he likes comfy beds, the
blankets are really scratchy though). Liam is even worse, his whole body is
trembling with need and Louis wonders if it's a good idea for him to fuck Zayn
alone. But Liam is already moving away and grabs the lube from his hand with a
smile before he brushes his lips against his ear.
"Keep kissing him while I open you up."
Louis shivers but does as he's told (for once) because he wants it and Zayn is
just as eager, sitting up immediately to draw Louis' face in. It's an open
mouthed kiss that gets everywhere and sucks the breath out of his lungs. Zayn
always takes from him, from them, like it's his birthright and Louis is so
familiar with these kind of blokes. He has always been attracted to them, it's
what made him lust after both Liam and Zayn. Liam had said that Louis and Zayn
were a bit alike but this is where they are similar, where they make Louis just
so, so weak. They are so fit, so beautiful, so likable and to force someone
like that into liking him is just the biggest turn on. But somehow it worked
out better than expected because they actually love him and he loves them back
and sometimes he just doesn't know what to do with that information. Sometimes
all his brain screams when he thinks about it is fuck me fuck me fuck me,
sometimes in an innocent way but mostly this way.
Louis whimpers into Zayn's mouth when he feels Liam tease his rim with a wet
finger, circling it carefully before he slowly dips inside. It's been so long
and he's so needy he pushes back with a hiss.
"Easy, love." Zayn only lets him go for a moment. "This is not a punishment."
"Fuck." Louis squeezes his eyes and mouth shut, lips pressed into a thin line
because he wouldn't say no to that. But Zayn's thumb moves over them, prods at
the seam and then forces its way inside when Louis unclenches his jaw.
"There you go. Just open up, will you?"
"He will give it to you later," Liam adds with his hot breath in Louis' neck
and he sighs in defeat, sucking Zayn's thumb into his mouth as Liam keeps
stretching him out.
They are always so good to him, always giving him what he needs and all he can
hope is that it's what they need, too. Louis has learned how to be selfish, has
mastered it years ago, but he doesn't want to be selfish with them. Never
again. That's why he'll just do whatever they want from him, he'll suck on
Zayn's fingers and ride Liam's hand until he's loose and wet enough.
"I'm fucking ready, Liam," he complains. "If you go any further I'll fit both
of your dicks inside of me."
Zayn bites at his bottom lip and watches Louis' face with hooded eyes. "Would
you?"
"Fuck. I would try."
"But not now," Liam hums and pulls his fingers out, making Louis wince. "Show
him how much we missed him, yeah?"
Louis hears Liam in his ear but only sees Zayn and he nods rapidly as he shifts
across Zayn's thighs to line himself up with his cock. Liam helps him because
Louis is already trembling with arousal and when he finally sinks down all he
can do is moan in relief. That's much better and exactly what he needs right
now, even though he's already sweating from the heat. If he hadn't stolen the
Cornucopia they could've fucked Zayn on a soft rug in front of a fireplace and
pretend to be all romantic and shit. Now it's just filthy and Zayn sucks in
another breath when Louis doesn't start with a slow but with a ruthless pace
that has him still aching for more. Liam is there too, littering kisses all
over his spine and up to his shoulder, like he hasn't just been missing Zayn,
like he has missed Louis, too. It makes his eyes sting because obviously not
everything is about sex but they still haven't been quite right without Zayn,
there was still something off. It doesn't feel like that anymore.
"Kiss me," Louis gasps and twists his head. He gets his arm around Liam and
pulls him in, lips colliding messily, uneven and so desperate for each other
and Zayn. Zayn, who curses quietly and dips his fingers into the curve of
Louis' arse like the sight of them is driving him insane. His nails are sharp
and they force Louis to break away because it will make him come way too
fucking soon. So he places both hands on Zayn's chest and pushes him back into
the pillow with a low groan.
"Stay there, you're distracting me from my task."
Zayn grins with loose strands of hair stuck to his face and then he just folds
one arm behind his head, like he's enjoying the show. It's fucking cocky and
Louis wants to fuck that smirk off of his face. He braces himself with both
hands on Zayn's stomach to lift himself up further and slam down again, their
thighs making obscene sounds whenever they meet.
"Fuck, you look so good," Liam moans on his right and then lies down next to
Zayn, coaxing him into a kiss of his own.
Louis can't look away, can't even blink, he has always loved watching them
together, whether it was fucking or kissing or just seeing how much they care
for each other. He sees a tongue slipping inside of Liam's mouth, hears teeth
clash because they try to devour each other. Every moan that Louis teases out
of Zayn gets swallowed by Liam's eager mouth. It riles Louis up even more and
he quickens his pace, carefully brushing his hair out of his eyes with another
guttural groan as his shifting around makes Zayn's cock nudge his prostrate
mercilessly. He's so close, he can feel it and so is Zayn who has his fingers
around Liam's dick, stroking him lazily while their lips are still locked. It's
too much then, the feeling of being stuffed, having Zayn back, having both of
them back in a way, it's pushing him too far over the edge, makes him jerk and
twist on top of Zayn as he grips his own cock and comes with a silent cry.
"Shit," Zayn suddenly gasps and reaches out to steady him, to keep him from
moving too much because he's coming too, hips bucking up into Louis
relentlessly until he's spent.
"Fuck," Louis agrees and tries to calm down so he can take care of Liam. But
Zayn seems to have other plans because as soon as he's able to speak again and
open his eyes, he grabs Liam by the hair and draws him into a quick kiss.
"Your turn. You should fuck him, too."
Louis' insides start to tingle. "Huh?"
"He's too sore," Liam mumbles with concern but his eyes are glazed over with
want when they shortly flicker to Louis.
"Yeah, but he will like it, Liam." He loves the way Zayn says Liam's name and
he knows for a fact that Liam loves it, too.
"Will he?" Liam looks at him properly now. "Will you?"
"Maybe..." He grins then, fingers running through his own hair. "If you're good
enough."
He will probably regret it. He will definitely regret it because there's no way
he'll be able to fight for a week after this. But then again... a little
ambrosia might help. He still complains when Liam moves back behind him and
lifts him up until Zayn slips out of him. But he keeps Louis on his knees that
bracket Zayn's thighs and pushes right inside, like it's nothing, like Louis is
nothing. He fucking loves it.
"Fuck yes," Zayn growls and pushes himself up so he can press hot feverish
kisses under Louis' jaw. "I'll turn you both into art one day, will carve you
out of marble." Another kiss. "And in a thousand years people will still wonder
who lo... who loved you that much."
Oh. Zayn really knows how to get under their skin, doesn't he? Louis doesn't
even know what they look like, all he knows is that he's still straddling Zayn
while Liam fucks into him from behind with deep thrusts that will make him come
soon, no need to draw anything out. Louis is practically stuck between them and
there's no other place on earth he'd rather be. Here he can forget about all
the fucked up shit that happened, about what he did, what he didn't do... No,
he can't really forget about that. But he knows that here he's allowed to feel
bad whenever he needs it.
Zayn seems to recognise the look on his face because he cradles Louis' head
with both hands, thumbs stroking over his cheeks with a crooked smile. "Liam?
How many times did Louis step out of line while I was gone?"
Liam stops nuzzling at Louis' shoulder to look up, thrusts faltering just a
little. "How many times? Do you think I counted?"
"I know you did."
Liam laughs and then moans, shoving himself deeper into Louis, making him
squirm. "Six times."
Only six? He's pretty sure it was more than six and Liam just tries to let him
off the hook.
Zayn hums. "Six is what you'll get then, love." His hand is already rubbing
over Louis' rough cheek, preparing it for what's coming.
"Why are you doing this?" Louis whimpers because he feels so sore, so
sensitive. "This was supposed to be about you, not me." They are always too
good to him (too good for him but he tries not to remind them of that).
"You idiot," Zayn chides him and the first slap he receives is almost gentle,
too soft, it's just enough to wrench him out of his own head and back into
reality. "Everything that's about you or Liam is about me, too. Now count for
me."
"Fuck... One."
Liam curses quietly behind him, almost plastering himself to Louis' back and
they can see that Zayn is slightly interested again, his cock twitching against
Louis' leg before he hits him again, harder this time.
"T-two..."
Zayn does it again and again, rubbing his soft hand over the abused skin after
each slap. Louis is taking both of them well, isn't he? He's just being used
and maybe it will make up for the things he did, for the things that brought
them to this point. The world could literally end right now, Demeter could just
fuck everything up for good and yet Louis couldn't care any less because Liam
is here and Zayn is here and frankly, that's all he needs. (And his mum of
course, but not right now. That would be more than awkward and she'd embarrass
him by asking in front of everyone whether he ever enjoyed the spanking in his
childhood. He didn't, for the record. But he does now. (Not from her though)).
"Six," Louis cries and almost misses Liam coming inside of him, he's too
fucking sore to feel anything, his whole body is on fire and it's the best
thing in the world.
"You're done, love," Zayn whispers against his slightly swollen cheek and
pushes him into Liam's arms. Liam wraps himself tightly around him to pull them
down next to Zayn.
"Come here," Liam says and Louis shifts around so he can look at him. "There
you go, all safe in our arms, yeah?"
Yeah, cause Zayn is right on his other side, watching Liam press soft kisses on
Louis' face and that's exactly what he needs because it means he's forgiven and
he can go on and tomorrow everything will be... well, not okay. But slightly
less shitty. Gods, he has missed Zayn, but not just him.
"I missed you too, you know?" Louis sobs then, trying to hold back the tears
while Liam stares at him. "I'm sorry and I missed you."
"I missed you, too," Liam mutters and kisses him on the mouth then, sweet and
soft the way Louis likes it.
"Why?" Zayn sounds so scared and confused. He curls himself tighter around
Louis and stretches his arm over him to dig long fingers into Liam's skin. "Why
did you two miss each other? Please don't tell me you broke up while I was
gone?"
"Silly," Louis mumbles, still not fully back at the surface, still a little too
vulnerable, too honest. "Like I would let him break up with me... Not that he
wouldn't find someone else. But it wasn't right without you, I missed you so
much and I hurt him over it and he... he.."
"I said something awful," Liam tells him, smoothing his fingers over Zayn's
arm. "I don't think either of us stopped hurting ever since. We just pushed it
away. And then... when you came back we broke all over again. I was scared that
we didn't show you enough how much we love you. Otherwise you wouldn't have
left."
"I'm sorry." Zayn's eyes are so full of regret, not for going away and finding
himself but for leaving them behind. "I just... I thought you would get over
me."
"How?" Louis mumbles, hand covering both of their arms. "How the fuck would we
get over you? We love you and it doesn't just work with two. It's all three of
us or nothing."
"You've worked before..."
"Yeah," Louis snorts and rubs a hand over his throbbing cheek. "We were good,
but we're better with you."
"And you don't give up on better once you have it," Liam adds.
"Better is a metaphor for you, by the way," Louis explains.
"Thanks, I wouldn't have known." They grin at each other and Liam gives an
amused chuckle.
"Just know that I meant what I said when you left, Zayn. We will fight for you,
no matter what anybody says. We don't care about the rumours and you shouldn't
either."
Zayn swallows. "I'm scared. I've been scared of what they'd think of me, of
what... uhm."
Louis opens his mouth, ready to coax the rest of the sentence out of him, but
then he feels Liam's fingers cup over his mouth. It makes him roll his eyes
because apparently he's become that predictable. That's just boring, isn't it?
"I was worried about Niall. About what he would say," Zayn finally admits. "It
wasn't just the other kids, it was... I can't explain it."
"But he knows now," Liam says. "We haven't been subtle earlier and I'm pretty
sure he already knew."
Louis is not so sure about that but he can't say that because Liam is still
gagging him.
"I know," Zayn whispers. "Makes me want to fucking run again."
Louis bites on Liam's finger then, makes him pull away with a hiss and a curse.
"The fuck, Lou?"
"That's alright," Louis says and ignores Liam. "You can run as far away as you
want, okay? Just take us with you next time."
Zayn closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, pulling both of them closer to
him.
"Okay."
*
"You reek of sweaty butt sex," Harry tells him later.
"And you smell any better?" Louis shoots back.
"Excuse me, we smell of love."
"No offence, lover boy, but your love smells of sweaty butt sex, too."
Harry giggles.
*
"I have it. I have the cornucopia."
Everyone is so busy staring at Zayn that no one notices Louis almost fainting
with relief.
*
The fight is tough and Louis can't remember ever fighting this hard before. He
can't remember feeling this good before. He has four lads watching his back,
two of them he loves very much, the other two are his boyfriends. Haha, just
kidding. But he's grown quite fond of Harry and Niall, they are like the
brothers he never had. Louis always wanted a big family. He has always dreamed
of it. He loves his mum and he loves having her to himself but sometimes he
craves something bigger, something exciting. He actually envies Niall and his
huge family and he wishes he could have that, too. A bunch of sisters perhaps
who look up to him. Sisters that would see him as an actual hero.
And then there is Harry who laughs at Louis' jokes and Niall who Louis actually
feels a little protective of, which his ridiculous because he's stronger than
all of them. But he trusts them and he feels safe with Harry's back touching
his own, with Liam by his side, with Niall and Zayn looking out for them from
afar. And they are amazing because there's a very nasty harpy bothering Harry
but before he can even begin to struggle, an arrow pierces her head. Harry and
Niall are just perfect together, aren't they?
"Jealous?" Harry asks him with a teasing grin but Louis doesn't need to say
anything clever in return because a silver arrow rushes past him a moment
later, hitting a monster that was about to attack him right in the eye. It's
Zayn's arrow.
"You were saying?" Louis smirks back and Harry laughs, bumping his fist.
"Sons of Apollo, am I right?"
"They're a fucking force of nature."
"Tell me about it." Then they split apart, facing each other's back again and
Louis knows he'll be fine.
*
"You're an idiot," Liam says, still mad at Louis while he stomps back through
the snow. They are fucking shaking because it's so cold and Louis has to laugh
hysterically because how the fuck is he still alive?
"Don't be so harsh," Zayn says.
"It's okay, Zayn. I am an idiot, biggest idiot on this earth." So why does he
sound like he just won an Oscar?
Liam stops then and waits until Harry and Niall are a little bit further ahead
of them. "It was stupid and to be in a goddess's debt is your best chance but
you know shit like that never ends well. What if something happens to you?"
Louis' shoulders drop. "Maybe I didn't think about that."
"You never do, that's the problem. You always just..." Liam's anger fizzles out
suddenly and he bends over with both hands on his knees, laughing. "You always
go about and throw yourself into impossible situations and somehow you still
come up on top of it and it will give me a heart attack one day I know it.
Fuck, I just really love you."
Louis can't help but grin and Zayn chuckles at them, pushing him into Liam's
arms (he has a habit of doing that). Liam doesn't really want Louis to be
serious, huh? He likes him exactly the way he is, reckless and unpredictable,
always acting like he's a step behind even when he's actually two ahead. He's
right though, it's not really planned, always just half-baked but it works out
for him anyway. He wonders about the day he runs out of luck.
"I love you, too," Louis says with a mad grin and grabs Liam by the neck to
kiss him. It fills him with so much warmth, he almost forgets how much he's
freezing. They really need to get back to the car.
"Let's go home, yeah?" Zayn says and they both turn to him with a smile.
Home. There's that word again.
*
He never called Camp Half-Blood home until their return from the quest. He
kinda missed his bed, missed a few chosen one of his siblings, missed the food,
missed Chiron and Mr. D (but when he tells them that they think he's joking.
Maybe it's better that way, if people think he's always joking, even when he's
not... okay, actually, he didn't miss Mr. D at all. He still can't look at
him). He even missed Argus and having no privacy whatsoever. Is that what it
feels like? To belong somewhere? Gods.
"I missed you," Louis cries theatrically and throws his arms around Tess. "no
one called me pathetic in weeks."
"Ugh." Tess makes a disgusted noise but pats his back and smiles at him. "Well
you are. Both of you."
Zayn coughs into his hand. "What?"
"I told you they care about you. But looks like you finally believe it."
"Wait what?" Liam turns to Zayn. "You worried about that, too?"
"Seriously, Zayn." Louis sighs and drops his arms from around Tess. "I'm the
one who claimed the snarky asshole who secretly feels worthless trope here, you
should find your own."
He can see how Zayn tries not to grin. He fails. "I'll come up with one."
"Until then," Chiron interrupts them and waves a hand at Louis and Zayn, "you
are both grounded."
"What?" Zayn shrieks. "For what?"
"For running off and making awful decisions."
"And Liam?" Louis squints at Chiron.
"He brought both of you back in one piece, I think that calls for a victory
laurel."
Liam shoots finger guns at them behind Chiron's back and Zayn and Louis grunt
in defeat.
*
"Hello?"
Louis takes a deep breath. "Hi, mum."
"Finally, my baby remembers that he has a mother!"
"Yeah, sorry I couldn't come visit you during Christmas, Chiron kind of
grounded my arse after the quest."
"A quest? You finally went on a quest?" Usually mums are worried about things
like that but she's just always so excited and hopes he has all the adventures
he dreamed of as a child.
"Yeah," he thumbs at the brown bead on his necklace with the yellow cornucopia
on it. "I'm a hero now," he jokes.
"You've always been one. I'm very proud of you, Louis."
"Thanks, mum." He sniffs and rubs the tears out of his eyes, sobbing quietly
into his phone.
"What's wrong, baby? Did something else happen?"
"No, it's fine. I'm fine, it's just... I miss you." He feels like missing
people is all the did for the past few months.
"I miss you, too." Great, now she sounds close to tears as well.
"I'm... I'm allowed to leave camp next week and I want to see you. Can I come
home?"
"Of course you can. Will you bring Liam? He promised to help me with the
curtains next time."
He nods until he remembers she can't see him. "Yeah, I want to. Him and... and
Zayn."
"Who is Zayn?"
"He's... my other boyfriend. Mine and Liam's. They're my boyfriends and each
other's boyfriends and I'm their boyfriend. Is that okay, mum?" He doesn't
think it's weird, doesn't think they are weird or fucked up in any way. But he
understands now why Zayn was so afraid of telling his brother. He doesn't want
his mum to think of them that way. It would kill him.
"Of course it's okay. Anything that makes my baby happy, you know that's my
only rule. Do you love them? Are they good to you?"
"Yes and... too good, even. They are amazing, I'm really happy."
"Good." They fall into a comfortable silence. Then, "is Zayn as hot as Liam?"
Louis groans. "Mum."
*
When the first hint of spring falls upon them they take off in the evening to
have some actual quality time. They, that's not just him and Liam and Zayn,
it's Harry and Niall, too. They have alcohol and food, tents and a fireplace,
that's all they need. Only they never ever drink so it doesn't take long for
them to fall into ridiculous fits of giggles while telling silly jokes. Also,
Louis always gets horny when he drinks.
"But I wanna fuck," Louis complains next to Zayn.
"We didn't bring any lube," Liam says.
"We have ketchup."
"Ketchup is no appropriate substitute for lube," Zayn scolds him.
But Louis just shrugs. "If it slicks I sits."
Harry laughs into Niall's shoulder and makes them both fall over with a yelp.
They kiss then and there because that's all they do these days, it's gotten
really bad. Louis is disgusted for a while until he realises that they're
probably like that because they feel comfortable around the three of them. Well
fuck, that just warms his stupid heart. But they all feel more at ease around
each other and Zayn has opened up to them now, to his brother, to others. It's
good and he doesn't keep secrets anymore (except for the one about Niall and
the one neither Louis and Liam know about yet. The reason for why Zayn is so
tired all the time). Secrets are just bad for relationships.
"I agree, we should never have any secrets," Harry slurs because apparently
Louis has said that out loud. He's really drunk. And hungry, so he makes a grab
for the strange Tofu steaks that Harry likes so much while Zayn mumbles
something about trying to be mysterious.
"So we should all tell each other a secret," Louis blurts out and wants to take
it back because that's a terrible idea. Mostly because he doesn't have any real
secrets. He's just a fake.
"I have four nipples," Harry declares.
"That's not a secret," Zayn says. "Everyone knows that."
"Fuck, okay, but.. but I'm really good at blow jobs."
Niall's eyes widen and he slams his hand over Harry's mouth. "No one else needs
to know that."
Louis hums. "Also, that's not something you can just reveal, it's something you
have to prove."
Harry drags Niall's fingers away from his mouth and holds on to his wrist when
he tries to use his other hand. "I could suck all of your dicks at once."
Liam giggles behind his hand. "All of our dicks."
Zayn pulls Liam into his arms like he's trying to protect him from Harry's
mouth. "No thanks."
"But I could."
"It's okay, Harry," Niall says desperately but suddenly Harry pulls off his
shirt like it's going to win him the argument.
"We can do it right now."
"Harry," Niall whines. "Please don't suck their dicks."
It appears that a drunk Niall is quite whiny and emotional and that's what
makes Harry focus on him, sobering up just a little bit before he smiles
sweetly. "But I can suck your dick?"
Niall nods and rakes his fingers over Harry's naked skin. "You're always so
good at it and you'd probably look nice while sucking someone else's dick but
you're mine," he hiccups and Harry sniffs loudly.
"It's okay, I'll give you the best blow job ever. Later though, without these
perverts watching us."
Liam rolls his eyes. "Like we wouldn't hear you from a mile away."
Harry squints at him while Niall desperately tries to tuck Harry's shirt back
over his head. "Excuse me, Liam. What's your secret then?"
He just shrugs, gripping his bottle of beer tightly. "I almost killed my cousin
when I was younger."
Louis chokes on his tofu steak. "Babe, that's not for light-hearted
conversations."
"It's literary the only secret I have. And I trust you, all of you."
Harry makes a soft noise in the back of his throat and grabs at his heart.
"That's so sweet, you're forgiven."
"Shut up, Harry." Liam grins and looks at Louis. "Yours?"
Louis takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them again he
looks at them with a serious expression. "I am Iron Man." They look back at
him, not impressed at all and Louis is a little offended that they don't
appreciate that one. It's a good one, even Tess would laugh about it! He
quickly coughs into his fist and then nods at Niall. "Your turn."
"I don't know," he scratches at the back of his head and takes a sip from his
own bottle. "I'm not always nice?"
"Also not a secret."
"Um... I'm scared of needles, that's why I don't have any tattoos."
Zayn stares at him. "Seriously? Are you... is that why you always refused when
I offered to do it?" Niall nods. "That's just... I need to sit down."
"You're already sitting down, love," Louis reminds him.
"What's yours, Zee? What's your big secret?"
Louis' easy grin falls and he looks at Zayn whose gaze is still fixed on his
brother. The brother he's very much in love with and Louis doesn't know if he
should say something instead because Zayn will probably regret it in the
morning if he blurts it out now.
"I-"
"Zayn," Louis panics.
"I mean... Louis fixes his hair when he rides me."
The silence that follows is full of shock, mostly on Harry's and Niall's part
and also full of mortification, mostly on Louis' part. He's horrified but
before he can say anything Liam bursts into a laugh next to him, throwing his
bottle away so he can hold his stomach.
"He does that! He really does!"
Louis scowls at both of them with betrayal and then mimics a knife driving into
his chest while he falls sideways in slow motion, singing, "mmmm watcha
saaaaay."
Liam laughs even harder then and only gets interrupted when Harry suddenly
shoots to his feet with a loud "Oh!"
Even in a drunk state they all reach for their weapons on instinct. "What?"
Niall looks around.
"I'm secretly good at juggling. I can prove that, right?"
Niall groans. "Harry, oh my gods!"
"Just give me something to juggle with."
"No one wants to see you juggle," Louis says from where he's still dying on the
ground, twisting the invisible knife around.
"Rude," Harry says and drops back down next to Niall, no, into Niall's lap.
"I need to take a wee," Liam declares while wiping a tear from his eyes. He
slowly gets up, careful not to lose his balance.
"Do you need help, babe?" Louis yells after him but Liam just waves him off.
"We should get him drunk more often. He's way more fun then."
"You've never seen him drunk before?" Harry lifts an eyebrow.
Louis and Zayn both shake their heads. "You know how responsible he always is.
That means no drinking and no sex in public toilets. Pretty bullshit if you ask
me."
Harry makes an agreeing noise. "Yeah, sex in public is great."
Niall sighs and gets his fingers into Harry's messy hair, carefully fixing his
sea shell. "They always stare at you because you're so pretty."
Louis laughs at that. When they all look at him he blinks and asks, "what?"
"Don't you think I'm pretty, Louis?" Harry looks genuinely offended.
"Err, sure, but come on, we both know Niall is pretty one in your relationship,
yeah?"
Niall looks mildly confused while Harry makes his thinking face with his bottom
lip pinched between two fingers. "You know what, I can't even be offended
because you're right."
"I agree," Zayn says quietly and no one but Louis knows how much he means that.
But Niall is so drunk and just snorts out a laughter. "You're all ridiculous."
Suddenly there's a loud banging sound and a roar that could rival a dinosaur
(probably). They all fall silent and listen instead, trying to figure out what
that was, waiting for another hint. But Liam already stumbles back from between
the bushes, eyes incredibly wide.
"What is it?" Niall asks.
"There's... there's a cow-man!"
"A what?" Zayn asks.
"A cow-man!"
They look at each other for a moment.
"Well," Harry says. "Are we heroes or are we cowards?"
Turns out it is a Minotaur. They fucking run.
*
The End.
*
Or not? This is when everything should be fine because they've been through
some nasty shit and Louis has learned a lot (not really). It would be the
perfect ending to a way too angsty story that Louis is pretty much done with to
be honest. But Niall just had to get himself kidnapped, didn't he? And no one,
absolutely no one wants to hear the boring story of how Louis Tomlinson almost
died. Before he befriended Harry and Niall his life was good. Nothing tried to
kill him (that often), no one made him a slave and the world wasn't ending.
Which means his life was also pretty boring... so fuck that.
It's still hard for him though, to watch everyone rise to new powers, to see
them find new strengths in their weaknesses and become mightier than ever
before. Liam is a literal storm now that ruins cities by turning into pure
white lightning and Zayn can't just make pictures come to life, he's also able
to travel through shadows. Harry is radiating so much power Louis sometimes
can't look at him and his hardened face that protects him from the emotional
wrecking ball that hits him every second that he's apart from Niall. He's
stronger than ever and there's absolutely nothing that will keep him from
saving the love of his silly life. He can be ruthless, can be merciless and
Louis wonders about that.
"What happened to love?" Louis asks one night when they sleep next to each
other.
Harry just yawns, already drifting off to sleep. "I believe love will heal the
world... but the things I do for love might kill it."
He says it so carelessly and it's the first time Louis is actually scared of
Harry, the first time he shudders in fear. Niall is just the same, just as
unpredictable in the things he'd do for Harry. They could literally wreck the
world together. That's the family Louis chose? He grins to himself. SICK.
But they are so annoyingly in love and he knew it would happen but he still
hates it sometimes. Hates the way Harry looks at Niall when Niall isn't
looking, like he's a feast that will never completely satisfy him, that he'll
always crave more of. He also hates Niall's soft smiles and the lewd words he
brushes across Harry's collarbone, neck, jaw, whenever Louis can't help himself
and watch them anyway. He hates how they never doubt each other. He hates Harry
for being ready to sacrifice himself in order to save Niall. He hates Harry for
being so utterly in love that it changes him. He hates Harry for being capable
of changing. He hates himself for ever calling him the camp slut. He's kinda
sorry for it. He is sorry.
Because then there's Louis. He is nothing compared to them, can't do anything
to help save Niall, he feels more like he's getting in the way, like he's
holding them back. He's not an idiot, he knows that they like him, but
honestly? Why? He's a string of flaws worming its way through life so why would
they love him? And if they do, then he shouldn't love them because he refuses
to be with someone who has bad taste like that. It was quite good for a while
but one day he won't be able to keep up with them, any of them. He doesn't just
mean his boyfriends, he also means his friends, those boys who have become his
family.
But he won't cry. He still has a choice here, he can choose how his story ends,
no one can take that away from him, not even the gods. He can be self-less now,
can try to be the hero and make up for all his mistakes and shortcomings. But
then again, he should've thought of Liam and how much he loves to be the
obstacle in Louis' carefully thought out plans. He's a protector, he always
will be and how will Louis ever get away from that? (Never. He doesn't want to,
but they are all on edge that night, so ready to tear each other's hearts out)
"Don't you ever touch me again."
He means it in that moment and he feels so angry and hurt all he can do is run.
He runs as fast and far away as possible, finally understanding why Zayn ran,
why Harry ran. It's like this horrible feeling leaps out of your chest and
tries to hunt you down so it can eat you alive, and if you let it, you will
never be the same again. But the anger doesn't last and then there's nothing
left but the pain and he slows down, slows down until realisation hits him like
a punch in the gut. He broke the fucking oath. He broke the oath and he won't
just die, he will also never be a hero. Something worse will happen and there's
nothing he can do to take it back. He feels so sick he kneels over and clutches
his stomach as he chokes on his dry sobs and wow, he suddenly feels very sorry
for himself.
He knows someone followed him but he doesn't know who it is, the blood is
rushing in his ears and he's rocking back and forth, trying to cry but he
can't. Everything is just too much and what is he supposed to do? He didn't
think that far, didn't think he'd make it this far and yet he is still here,
only to ruin his own fate. It's chopped off from the other's now, there's
nothing that connects him to them anymore, nothing he can be proud of. He has
always just bathed in their shine and now everyone can see how ugly he is.
"Louis..."
It's Zayn. He's touching Louis' back tentatively, like he's not used to being
gentle. Yeah that's right, he's just there to hurt Louis when he needs it,
right? He jerks away from the touch and throws a brief look over his shoulder,
just in time to see Zayn's hurt expression. "Go away. You're tired, you're
always tired, you should get some sleep."
Zayn's shoulders drop "How am I supposed to sleep now? Everything's fucked."
"Not everything, just me."
"Lou, please." Zayn tries to touch him again but stops when he sees Louis
tensing up. "Please, I... I'm just worried. I wouldn't know what to do if you
were dead, I don't even want to think about it."
"You get over it," Louis grits through his teeth, throwing Zayn's own words
right back at him. "You'll have each other."
Shame and hurt flickers over Zayn's exhausted face and it's another thing Louis
wants to take back. There's so much stuff he always says that he doesn't mean,
that he regrets as soon as it leave his mouth. Maybe he should grow up a little
and stop trying to hurt himself by hurting the people he loves.
"You know that will never work, we need you," Zayn whispers.
"Liam doesn't need me, he never needed me." The anger comes back and makes him
push himself to his feet, one hand still clawing at the fabric over his stomach
as he invades Zayn's personal space. "I just forced my way into his life and
made him believe he can't live without me but that's not true, he can. You both
can and you should because I will destroy your life. I will wreck it until you
wished you had never met me!"
"Won't happen," Zayn says calmly, a wetness in his eyes that you don't see that
often because Zayn doesn't like to cry either, but he's not yelling instead
like Louis, he always keeps it under his skin. When it comes to that they are
very different. "However bad you think of me, whatever I did... that won't
happen."
Louis deflates instantly. Fuck... fuck. Zayn has been in this place before, has
already gone down that road but he came back for them, for Liam and Louis.
Gods, they are three people in a relationship and you'd think at least one of
them would have their shit together. But not even Liam does, he's trying to do
so much good that he doesn't even know when it's too much, when he goes from
protecting to overbearing.
"I'm sorry," Louis whines and Zayn closes the distance to wrap him into his
arms.
"He loves you so much," Zayn whispers against his ear, making sure Louis can't
turn away or ignore the words. "He loves you more than he could ever hate you.
That's why I know he feels the same as I do. We both want to keep you safe."
Louis doesn't return the hug, his head is just resting on Zayn's shoulder.
"Because I'm weak..."
"No, because beautiful things are the easiest to break. First rule of art."
"That doesn't even make any sense," Louis complains.
"Just wait for it, love. It will sink in."
Louis sighs. "I don't want to go back yet."
"Then we'll stay a little longer."
They sit there for what feels like hours and Louis makes use of that time to
push everything down, deeper and deeper into a certain corner of his head. He
closes that door for the first time and locks it up, throws the key away
because fuck this, he won't be ruled by it (of course it's not healthy but when
has Louis ever been about healthy? He'll just ignore it until it threatens to
burst through, until all it takes is a little poke.)
"I'm sorry," Liam lies when Louis and Zayn return to their little camp.
"Me too," Louis lies back.
He still closes his eyes when Liam presses a kiss to his forehead, with a mouth
that is so familiar to him in shape and softness. He wants to cry.
"You're so important to me and to Zayn, to all of us. I just want you to know
that because I love you, Louis. I love you so much."
Louis nods against Liam's lingering lips. "I love you, too."
When they're about to fall asleep, back to back, Louis wonders if that was a
lie, too.
*
It wasn't.
And when Louis feels Harry tugging at his well contained pain it's too much. It
all spills out of him, drips from his eyes and tumbles from his tongue. It
hurts and he tells them just how much and how fiercly it's been eating away at
him. Strangely enough, by crying about it, talking about it, the pain seems to
loosen in his chest. Liam's hand feels so warm on his skin, warmer then ever,
and Zayn's kiss burns hotly, like a fire that cleanses his soul and body and
mind. Louis thinks that maybe he should just accept it, accept that they love
him because of who he is, not because he tricked them into a relationship.
Maybe they love him without him trying to be interesting 99% of the time.
Maybe... maybe he doesn't have to work hard for this. It makes the tears only
well up stronger.
I'd die for you, you know? I always will.
Liam's words haunt him to the McDonald's where he's currently waiting in line
to buy them all some food. It will be their last meal before they literally go
to hell and he doesn't know what to think of it. They have no real plan, they
don't know what to expect and they all just trust in their powers. Louis fears
that his friends have become just that little bit too arrogant. He doesn't mean
any offence but it worries him, it worries him so much that he feels like he
has to do something about it. No half-baked plans this time. He will take
responsibility like he should've months ago, years ago, forever ago.
The queue is long and seems to take forever, enough time then to clench his
fist in his pocket, to dig his nails into his palm until it starts to bleed but
hopefully not through the fabric. That would be awkward, wouldn't it? He
whispers words and prayers that get lost in the crowd of people but will still
be heard by the being that he's looking for. Titans are immortal like the gods
but they've seen so much more, they know the value of offerings in a way that
the Olympians don't. Louis has read about it in one of Chiron's books when he
was bored once and he remembers how important it had seemed at that time. No
wheat, no wine, no other drink can replace the sweetness of blood. He hisses
when the pain increases but keeps digging, keeps whispering. So why is your own
blood worth so much more than sacrificing an animal or giving your favourite
food and drink? Because humans want to survive, their instinct to protect
themselves is so strong that some of them would rather kill their own children
than spill a drop of their own blood. It's not a sacrifice until you bleed
yourself and perhaps Louis is the only one of his friends who still can, who's
still vulnerable enough to make that choice.
"A bold move," a voice says in the queue next to him.
Louis turns his head and looks into a pair of normal looking eyes. The woman is
wearing a white coat in contrast to her dark skin and it seems she has toned
down her appearance so she wouldn't frighten the mortals. Or maybe the mist is
currently working on Louis as well. But whatever she looks like, Nyx is still
scary as fuck.
"Nah, not really. Just making stupid decisions as always."
"Is that so?"
They both take a step forward but don't lose eye contact, not even when the guy
behind Louis accidentally bumps into him. He could've summoned her somewhere
else but he figured a public space would lessen the chance of her going rogue
on him.
So he smiles sweetly at her and shrugs. "I just want to make you an offer."
"An offering?"
"No, an offer. Okay, maybe an offering, too."
"I'm listening." She watches him curiously and he wonders if she'll actually
buy a cheeseburger if he draws this out long enough.
Louis takes a deep breath. "I want to trade places with Niall."
"Niall..."
"I know you have him in your mansion."
"Do I?" She smiles at him the same way he had just a moment ago. "You're
funny."
"Come on, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. My friends need him and I think
maybe that's the reason why I'm on this quest. I broke my oath, I will
definitely die, but it will be worse than just dying. Ending up in your mansion
must come close to it."
"I feel like I should be offended," she hums. "But you are right. It will be
painful, it will be draining and you will lose your mind. No, not lose... it
will break into a thousand pieces and it will never be whole enough again to
reach the elysian fields. You'd never be reborn but you wouldn't be completely
gone either. It's sweet torture."
Louis shudders at the idea that this could happen to Niall. He might not be
gentle but he's a fucking sunshine anyway and Louis likes the lad a lot. He
doesn't deserve this fate.
"Yeah, I will still do it. Let me trade places with him. A life for a life,
isn't that enough?"
"It would be... if your lives were worth the same but unfortunately they are
not."
Louis can't help but laugh and some people look at him oddly. "Amazing. Just
great. So you mean I'm basically worthless and not a good enough offer?"
Nyx gives him a small nod. "That is correct."
"Thanks." At least it's confirmed now. But honestly, it makes Louis feel
nothing, not anymore. He could just be a normal bloke working at McDonald's to
help out his mum. He could be homeless, could be in prison... Liam and Zayn
would probably still love him and it is such a nice feeling to not doubt them
for once. Is that what Harry feels like all the time?
"I will leave now... but I feel like we will meet again soon." She is still
smiling with a hand over her stomach and then she leaves the queue like nothing
happened and Louis is alone.
The wound on his palm is throbbing violently but he still grins. It's not like
he expected it to work but that wasn't his plan anyway. Gods, Titans, they're
all the same, all so damn arrogant, thinking they're invincible. He feels
reminded of the day he stole the cornucopia and he laughs to himself, shaking
his head. Like Demeter didn't notice him, Nyx didn't notice how carefully Louis
had examined her body, her face, her limbs, not because she was so stunning and
beautiful. No, he just knows that they will have to fight her eventually and
everyone has their blind spot. Louis wants to be prepared and it hasn't escaped
him how very delicate her neck is.
A neck that would look lovely with a sharp wire wrapped around it.
*
"I saw it, you know?" Niall says days later, after defeating Nyx, after they
made the decision to fight against Zeus together. There's so much preparation
to do, so much to think about.
"What do you mean?" Louis frowns while he keeps sharpening his blade. He could
let the Hephaestus cabin do it but he only really trusts his own hands. He
knows this sword, he has killed with this sword many times so he trusts it and
he trusts in himself. He has pulled off some ridiculous shit on the last quest
so maybe he'll be lucky again.
"What you did. What you felt. It's like a memory but it's not mine, it's Harry.
It's how he saw you."
Louis stops in his movements and twists his head around to meet Niall's
watching eyes. "I... still don't know what you mean."
"You're an idiot, that's all I wanted to say."
"Oh Nialler, you say the sweetest things."
But Niall doesn't laugh. "Please don't do it again, yeah? Don't be that
reckless and don't think you're less important than any of us."
Louis sighs. "Oh, that again. I'm over it, alright? I know you all love me."
"Do you?"
They look at each other for the longest time, until Louis has to lower his
eyes. "I just thought I had to do more and that I didn't have anything to offer
but my life. Although Zayn and Liam would probably cry too much if I died so I
try not to."
"Not just them, idiot. We need you, too. Who else will make us laugh? I mean,
you can learn how to fight, you can even gain new powers. But it's not worth
that much, believe me. There's always someone who is more powerful... and I
feel like you keep us together. I mean, Harry makes me laugh, too but when you
crack a joke it's like we're all lighting up on the inside. Doesn't matter how
bad the situation is, you make us feel like we can do anything." Niall shrugs
and offers him a small smile.
Louis swallows hard at that and considers whether he should make a joke out of
it to prove what Niall just said or not. Maybe it's time for a change though,
now that he'll most likely die. It could be worth a shot. Just to see how it
is, how it feels to open up and be serious, honest, without the humour.
"It just always felt very unfair... how hard I had to work for things that
others came by so easily, like it's nothing. It cheapened things for me and I
became really fucking jealous. Jealous and selfish, I guess. Then you
disappeared and everyone was so helpless, it was like we were falling apart."
"You didn't."
"No, but that's not thanks to me." He gives Niall a pointed look. "Your boy has
changed."
"He has," Niall murmurs and sounds so incredibly proud. Proud and horny. What
the fuck. It seems like anything Niall feels for Harry or Harry feels for Niall
is always coupled with the need to fuck. Anything Harry does turns Niall on and
Louis is appalled. "But that doesn't cheapen what you were willing to do for me
or any of us. What you did for Zayn, what you did for Liam. You don't even know
how much that is, do you?"
Louis blinks and would take a step back if he wasn't sitting down already. He
has never really looked at it from that angle, has never really thought about
it that way. He told Zayn that he had forced Liam into liking him but that's
not really true, is it? Liam had liked him even before he helped him control
his powers. Zayn had liked him before he stole the cornucopia. He did nothing
for Harry and nothing for Niall, he was just there. Maybe the question of why
is overrated. There isn't always a reason, especially when it comes to taste.
If someone asked Louis why he loves his family he wouldn't be able to answer it
either because there is no answer, it's just an emotion that builds itself from
history. So he will just stop questioning it and take it as a fact instead. A
fact that might change someday but not now.
"Well," Louis coughs, a little flustered. "No wonder I have two boyfriends.
You're lagging behind, Nialler."
They laugh together and maybe Louis feels a little lighter, too.
*
Hey, mum. Sorry I'm only texting you but I feel like I can't call this time. I
might cry or something and then you cry and you know it always gets a little
awkward for a while then. The update first: I made it back from Tartarus, I'm
alive and I'm still with Zayn and Liam. (They say hi and want me to tell you
that they loved the biscuits you send them as a thanks for 'taking care of my
baby' really mum I can't believe you). Now there's this little battle I'm
joining tomorrow and it will be tough because you know... god business and
stuff. Never ends well. But I want it to end well for us so that's why I'm
giving my best and... I wanted to thank you for never making me feel like a
failure, mum. You always believed I could do anything I've set my mind on and I
think that has always given me the boost I needed. I love you so much and I
know now that I never needed a dad, ok? I realise that I never said it but you
always were enough, you still are, that won't change. I love you. So yeah...
before this gets too sappy: I stole money from your purse and I fucked Zayn on
the kitchen table. See you soon. -Louis
*
Louis pants into the pillow after he came from grinding into the sheets. His
arse is throbbing and covered in imprints of Zayn's hand, all red and stinging
while Liam's soft fingers comb through his hair. They've taken the chance to
fuck while Harry and Niall are still at the forge and Louis can't believe he
came before any of them actually fucked him. How embarrassing. But it felt so
good, so right, he couldn't help it.
It's not the same as it used to be, but he can't put his finger on why it feels
different. Maybe it's not just about the punishment anymore. He always thought
he needed it to deserve their love but that's not true. And it's is not just
about him, it's about all three of them. Liam and Zayn are as much part of this
as Louis is and he feels the shift between them more than ever. Because it's
really fucking time for Zayn to have his post quest epiphany as well and Louis
is grateful that Liam is the one explaining it.
So when Zayn moves away Liam stretches his arm over Louis to stop him. "You
know it doesn't always have to be me, right? You can be the one who holds him,
Zayn."
Louis can hear Zayn swallow soundly. "It's alright."
"No, it's not. I thought I understood but you're still trying to shut us out.
This isn't just about punishing Louis, you're punishing yourself, aren't you?"
"Liam, no--"
"I get it... I get it, we both do, but... please don't. Aftercare isn't just
meant for the one receiving the punishment, you know?" Oh shit, Liam googled
this, didn't he? "You're not wrong, you're not fucked up and we love you. So it
can be you, okay?"
Louis finally opens his eyes and twists around to see Zayn's panicked
expression. "I can't, I don't know--"
"Don't know how?" Liam clicks his tongue and yanks at Zayn's wrist to pull him
against both of them.
Louis makes a soft noise in the back of his throat when he feels Zayn's skin on
his and circles an arm around him. Liam is right, Zayn should be involved in
this, too. That's why they're not angry at him for shutting them out, he
probably didn't even do it on purpose. They should've known.
"Just look at him," Liam says and wipes a hand over Louis' forehead to brush
his hair out of his eyes. "Look, he took it so well, didn't he?"
Zayn stares at Louis with wide eyes, so in awe and so in love. Is it the first
time he's actually looking? Is it the first time he's actually with them, not
just physically? They really, really should've known.
"He did."
"Tell him that."
Zayn bites at his bottom lip. "You were so good, Lou," he whispers like he's
embarrassed about it. "So good for me and Liam."
Louis smiles and lets the words wash over him like ice that cools his heated
skin. "So you liked it, too? I'm not selfish?"
Zayn quickly shakes his head. "No, you... made me really happy."
"Why?" Louis grins when he hears Liam chuckle behind him.
"Because you trust me enough to do this and... it makes me feel good. Being
with you two is the only time I feel like I'm not losing it. I can be myself,
can be in control and no one is judging me." He frowns to himself, like he just
realised it himself.
"Good," Louis mutters. "Now kiss me."
And Zayn, because he's Zayn, goes all in of course. Fast and hard with both
hands keeping Louis' head still so he can't move. It's nice but Louis prefers
it to be soft this time. So he lifts both hands to Zayn's arms and squeezes
them until he pulls away with a scared expression.
"Sorry."
"Don't apologise," Liam tells him. "Just think of butterflies."
It leaves both of them smiling and when they meet in a new angle it's all
chaste and meek, without any hint of tongue. It's just the slow drag of their
lips that has Louis melt into the mattress and Zayn makes a delighted noise at
the reaction he's drawing out of Louis.
"That's right," Liam whispers. "Louis taught me so much, he will teach you,
too."
Well fuck, if Louis melts any further he'll go right through the sheets.
Instead of doing that he guides Zayn's hands over his body, lets him feel and
touch without any intentions while he mutters quiet "thank you"s against Zayn's
lips. It's just about the touch itself, about caressing him and showing both of
them that it's all better now. He's soon joined by Liam's fingers that rub some
sort of balm into Louis' abused skin. It is cool and soothing and Zayn keeps
kissing him, but not just on his lips. His whole face gets a treat and so does
his neck and his shoulder and every tattoo that Zayn has inked into his body.
The stick figure gets a special treatment though and it has Louis giggle like
an idiot because wow, fuck. They've come a long fucking way.
"I love you both so much I'm not even scared of tomorrow anymore," Louis
confesses quietly and hopes he's not bursting their little bubble. Liam tenses
for a second before he curls up around him while Zayn lifts his head from the
crook of Louis' arm.
"Me, too," he says with a smile, so unconcerned himself.
"What, which one? You love me or you're not scared?" Louis grins.
"The latter. But I guess I love you, too."
Louis snorts. "Good. Now please get each other off and let me watch, yeah? I'm
so drained it's literally the only thing I can do."
"Like you won't be hard again in a second when I start to deepthroat Zayn."
Liam rolls his eyes.
Louis gapes at him. "Mr. Payne, I can't believe you just used such filthy
vocabulary," he says incredulously.
But all Liam does is shrug. "Blame my teacher."
"I would never--"
"You would," Zayn interrupts him, "and I would probably put you in place for
it." He gives Louis a quick kiss before he climbs over him with a feral grin,
like he's going to eat Liam alive. "But I have other plans for our boyfriend."
"I knew he would get off the hook," Louis huffs playfully and watches Zayn
ravage Liam's mouth with a moan. They're both still achingly hard and he can't
believe they held back the whole time just to take care of Louis. Fuck, he
loves them.
"Let's find out how long he can control himself," Zayn mutters between kisses
that have Liam jerk up against him. "I bet he wants to know how much you
learned from him, Li."
Oh, they're still about torture then? That's just fine with Louis, he'll take
Zayn apart another time and he'll do it right in front of everyone's eyes. It
seems like it all comes together with them, the punishment, the love, the
torture, the revenge, the beautiful and the ugly. He's not perfect but he's not
the only one with flaws and it doesn't mean he loves them any less, it doesn't
mean they love him any less. Beautiful things are the easiest to break, Zayn
had said but he didn't mean Louis, he meant their relationship. They broke more
than once and came out of it even stronger. So whatever happens tomorrow isn't
important. Because he's not on his own anymore.
That alone makes him feel like he could grow thousands of years old.
*
The End. For real this time.
Chapter End Notes
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