Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3112679.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Degrassi, Degrassi:_Next_Class
  Relationship:
      Triles_-_Relationship, Miles_Hollingsworth_III/Tristan_Milligan
  Character:
      Tristan_Milligan, Miles_Hollingsworth_III
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-01-04 Updated: 2018-02-11 Chapters: 71/? Words: 47336
****** imagines/headcanon explorations - UNFINISHED TRASH ******
by enbied
Summary
     i know these are terrible, nonsensical and dubious!!!!!!!!! that's
     why they're here and not in a proper fic!!!!!!!!! let me live!!!!!!!!
***** Chapter 1 *****
They have their families over for a dinner party which Miles cares about just
because it's important to Tris. It goes so great until Miles’ dad is super
impolite and Miles’ mother gets pissed and makes him leave. The mood lightens
up when Frankie gets up to fetch something from the kitchen and trips over her
chair.
Tristan wakes up first on Christmas morning. He waits for Miles to wake up,
happy just to lie next to him and watch his chest rising and falling. His
sleeping figure is so vulnerable and calm. Tristan whispers "I love you",
knowing he won't get a response, just feeling an overwhelming need to say it.
Miles got him the perfect present - tickets to the musical he's been dying to
see, but it was sold out. Miles used his connections, which Tristan secretly
hates him doing, but to make up for it, he promised a date night at home
playing a game he knows Tristan is better at, despite his competitive side.
He’s so happy that Tris is happy.
They have a snowball fight and end up kissing and having a cute moment and then
Tristan tackles Miles and they fall over and end up on the ground lying down
next to each other in the snow just smiling and gazing at each other
Miles meeting Owen and talking about how he's not that into sports but knows a
little about basketball and they end up getting on super well and Tris feels so
warm inside that they each feel at ease with the other's siblings
Ugly matching jumpers Tris made them that he hates because they're far less
fashionable than he intended them to be but Miles is so touched that he did
that and he wears it around the house all the time. Tristan says it's his
favourite piece of clothing to take off of Miles.
***** :D *****
Chapter Summary
     these adorable idiots smh
“Miles…” Tristan sang, knocking on the frame of his open door.
The brunet looked up from his textbook and beamed at the sight of his
boyfriend, quickly clambering off of his bed to greet him with a hug.
“Tris! What are you doing here?”
Obviously pleased at the reception of his surprise visit (as well as the fact
that after the hug Miles' hands slid down his arms to loosely knit their
fingers together), Tristan smiled and sighed, “I just missed you.”
They stood together in the doorway for a few seconds, just smiling at each
other, until they realised that they were standing together in the doorway just
smiling at each other, and simultaneously found it hilarious.
“Come in,” Miles laughed.  Tristan set down his bag and Miles abandoned his
textbook on the floor.
The pair settled into their usual positions, Miles laying against his pillows
and Tris snuggling up next to him, resting his head on his boyfriend’s
shoulder.
"You could have just called, you know.”
“But then I wouldn’t be able to do this - ” Tristan finished the sentence by
leaning up to briefly steal Miles’ lips, who was so delighted that he followed
Tristan’s forward for a moment when he began to move away.
“Well, since you’ve come all this way, you might as well do it again…”
***** Paintball *****
Chapter Summary
     (this is badly written but ?? i've been leaving and coming back to it
     for so long it no longer makes any sense to me. deal)
     After Tristan pushes him back against the couch.
“Ow!” Miles hisses.
“Miles, are you kidding me?” Tristan only just suppresses a giggle.
“Hey, paintball does serious damage! I don't see your family going up against
Chewy's extensive lineage.”
Sigh.
“Alright, take your shirt off.”
“How forward of you.” Miles smirks, but complies anyway.
“I'm going to kiss it better.”
“You're... going to...”
“Kiss it better. You heard me.” Tristan was completely serious.
Miles gives a nervous laugh.
“Uh, Tris, that's –” but he was silenced by a finger to his lips.
“Here's how we do this. You lie down and relax, and I kiss your boo-boos.”
Miles looks at him with a mixture of confusion, surprise and amusement as if
he’d just suggested they go tandem skydiving in bright pink jumpsuits.
“You'll feel better, I promise.”
Miles raises his hands in surrender; Tristan straddles his boyfriend, careful
to keep his weight on either side of the brunet.
"Mmm, I like this so far. Although there is the lingering thought that my mom
never kissed anything better."
"I'm on top of you and you're thinking about your mom?"
Tristan runs a hand down his side, surveying the damage, vibrant purple shapes
forming on his Miles' torso.
After learning down to press a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's lips, Tristan
then moved to the first bruise on his neck, Miles' eyes fluttering closed from
habit.
"Man, you got decimated out there," Tristan whispered against a pigmented spot
between his collarbones, lips brushing against the tender skin with every word.
"We won though."
"I'm sure that's all down to Hunter."
"Excuse you, I'm an excellent shot. Maybe I should show you sometime.
"Maybe you should."
"Hmm... how are you doing that? It actually feels better."
It seemed Tristan had run out of bruises as he was now trailing kisses down his
partner’s stomach.
"Where is this going?"
"Where does it feel like it's going?”
“Same place as it was before, I guess?”
“I’ll be gentle,” Tristan spoke softly and winked up at his boyfriend.
***** i hate myself *****
Chapter Summary
     (intro: tris is in the bathroom doing his hair rthen he just throws
     down his comb and straddles miles and takes his lips in a needy kiss
     blah blah)
“What are you doing?”
“Miles…”
“Tris, we have to go in two minutes.”
“We’ll make it quick then.”
“Babe.”
“Please, I want you, I need you.” he whined, pawing at Miles’ shirt collar.
“What made you so…”
“Horny?” he suggested, grinding his hips down into Miles’, eliciting a moan,
then a sigh.
“Look, Tris, I don’t like making it quick. I like… drawing it out, and teasing
you. Making - ah! - making you feel loved.”
“Okay, well that’s perfect sometimes, but right now I just want you to fuck
me.”
Miles bit his lip, clearly turned on. “Don’t you think we’d be tired after?” he
reasoned.
“I don’t care. It’s not like we haven’t been out after sex before.”
“As much as I want cum and lube dripping out my ass all day, I think it might
cause some problems.”
“We’ve got condoms.”
“We’ve got eight seconds.”
“I could do it. You?”
“Fuck, I want to, I really do, but we can’t this time.”
Tristan pouted with his best puppy dog eyes, knowing Miles was rarely able to
resist that particular expression.
“How about I make tonight really special instead?” Miles tempted. He stood and
offered a hand to his boyfriend with a soft smile.
Tristan took it, considering, reluctant. “How special?”
Miles leaned forward and whispered in his ear, “You can do whatever you want
with me.”
Tristan's eyes closed and he let out a shaky sigh.
Tristan peeled away and started back to his bedroom. "I have to change."
Miles' mouth fell open in a silent laugh. "Did you - ?"
"Don't!" Tristan held up a hand as he walked, leaving Miles to double over in
hysterics.
***** photoset *****
Chapter Summary
     someone should draw this because i tried but i'm rubbish
    * tris brushing his teeth and fixing his hair at the same time
    * tris notices miles taking a photo
    * tris flipping him off
    * mirror shot of miles kissing toothpaste off the corner of tristan's mouth
      with the toothbrush still in
    * tristan's like 'ew gross wtf'
    * mirror shot of miles hugging his waist
    * selfie of miles nuzzling into his cheek and toothpaste-less tris smiling
      uncontrollably
***** tristan appreciation *****
Chapter Summary
     a series of tweets about my baby tristan that i had to delete because
     i don't wanna be a five digit tweet kind of account
Tristan would be Frankie's hair stylist and take her to get her first radical
hair dye. He'd be the first person she tells when she gets engaged.
Tristan would see opening night of every production Zoë's in no matter how busy
he was, proudly applauding and beaming because she's growing up
Tristan would hold a nervous Miles' hand while they walked into a restaurant
three years later to get back in contact with Miles' dad.
Tristan would be the most polite person Mrs. Hollingsworth had ever had in her
home. He'd always insist on bringing something to dinners.
***** featuring brief zaya *****
Chapter Summary
     told yall this is just bits and pieces
“Sooo, what’s it like living together?” Zig asks, as usual laced with sexual
undertones ignored by everyone else.
Simultaneous:
Miles shooting Tristan lovey dovey heart eyes: “It’s effortless.” 
Tristan: “It’s impossible!”
Miles looks at Tristan, feigning offense.
"Of course you’d say that; you never do the dishes.”
Miles’ expression twists into a small smile.
“Okay, I’ll do the dishes more often.”
“Yeah?” Tristan asks, uncharacteristically timid.
“I promise,” Miles curves his fingers under Tristan’s chin to guide their lips
together.
“Aw, you guys are made for each other,” Maya smiles at the pair, who turn back
to her grinning in agreement.
“What about you two? Any plans to move… well… away from Maya’s parents?”
***** what the hell, past leigh *****
Chapter Summary
     I just found this in my drafts and idk what i was saying at the start
     but damn this is really somethin else
     NSFW
Also I mean. Miles has been known to be fuck around wiNEVER MIND MILES TAKING
TRISTAN’S COCJ FR THE FIRST TIME RIGHT
TRIS ASKING IF IT HURTS AND HE’S TRYNA BE FLIRTY LIKE EYYY NOT AS MUCH AS I
WANT YOU EYYY BUT TR*S TRIES TO LIFT HIM OFF LIKE NO I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU
GET OFF WE’LL GO SLOWER AND HE JUST. IMPALES HIMSELF. HARD. AND GRINS NOT
DESPITE THE PAIN BUT /BECAUSE/ OF THE PAIN. HE’S NOT INTO PAIN REALLY BUT FOR
TRISTAN HE’LL TAKE ANY AMOUNT OF PAIN JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY FOR ONE SECOND HOT
DAMN
AND TRIS IS IN SHOCK FOR A SECOND KINDA THINKING ABOUT HOW PERFECT MILES IS TO
DO THIS FOR HIM HOW BRAVE HE IS HOW HE’S TRYING TO BE OPEN WITH HIM AND ALSO
KINDA FEELING JITTERS BECAUSE NOW IT PROBABLY WON’T STOP AND FUCK HE’S SO TIGHT
HE’S ON HIS DICK HE’S SHOOTING THAT SOFT SMILE AT TRISTAN HE’S - BUT THEN HE
STARTS TO MOVE JUST SLOWLY CLOSING HIS EYES BITING HIS LIP EVERYTHING GENTLE
EVEN THE HANDS RESTING ON TRISTAN’S STOMACH THAT WERE SHAKING WITH NERVES BUT
NOT ANYMORE BUT TRIS IS STILL WORRYING UNTIL MILES MOANS JUST A LIL BIT AND
TRIS SMILES AND SLIDES HIS HANDS FROM MILES’ HIPS WHERE HE WAS GUIDING HIM DOWN
YEAH NO NOW HE’S GRABBING HIS ASS AND HE HISSES AND HE STARTS TO GO FASTER AND
TRIS LIFTS UP SLIGHTLY TO MEET HIM GOD HE CAN BARELY FOCUS ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH
HE’S TRYING TO MAKE SURE MILES IS OKAY EVEN THOUGH THIS IS STILL NEW FOR BOTH
OF THEM WHICH IS WHY WHEN MILES SHOUTS THERE’S A SURGE OF ADRENALINE TO HIS
HEART FROM THE FEAR THAT HE HURT MILES MORE THAN HE COULD TAKE THAT HE COULD
HAVE BUCKED WITHOUT NOTICING BUT HE ONLY REALISES HE DIDN’T WHEN MILES STUTTERS
M.MORE AND IT TAKES A FEW SECONDS OF CONCENTRATION TO GET THE ANGLE RIGHT AGAIN
BUT THEN HE’S SOBBING LIKE HE’S HAD SOME SORT OF EPIPHANY LIKE HE’S LOOKING AT
GOD NOT TRISTAN AND TRIS IS SECRETLY PROUD OF HIMSELF HE’S ALWAYS WANTED TO
FUCK HIM JUST FOR THIS AND OF COURSE IT FEELS INCREDIBLE FOR HIM TOO BUT HE
CAN’T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT HOW HE’S MAKING MILES FEEL AND HE REALISES
HE’S NOT EVEN PLAYING WITH MILES’ DICK AND OH HOW MUCH BETTER HE COULD HAVE
FELT IF HE DID SO HE DOES AND AT THE FIRST TOUCH MILES CUMS ALL OVER TRISTAN’S
CHEST AND A LITTLE ON HIS NECK WITH A SOUND THAT’S HALFWAY BETWEEN WHIMPERING
AND HAVING NO AIR LEFT IN HIS LUNGS AND WHEN HE’S DONE HE HAS TO LEAN MORE ON
HIS HANDS STILL ON TRISTAN CONTRACTING HIS HANDS INTO CLAWS ON HIS MUSCLE THE
TINIEST BIT AND TRISTAN DOESN’T MIND AT ALL BECAUSE HE MADE MILES CUM SO
QUICKLY AND HE’S SO DELIGHTED AND ELATED LIKE HE’S ALREADY CUM HIMSELF AND
DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO IMAGINE HOW GOOD IT WOULD FEEL WHEN HE ACTUALLY DOES AND
OH GOD HE'S MOVING AGAIN BUT HE LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLE SO HE STARTS TO ASK IF HE
WANTS TO STOP AND HE CUTS HIM OFF WITH NAH, JUST - AH - JUST MOVE A LITTLE -
AND THEN IT’S PERFECT AND THEY'RE FUCKING AND GRINNING AT EACH OTHER AND
SUDDENLY THEY'RE BOTH TOTALLY AT EASE LIKE THIS IS WHAT THEY'VE ALWAYS DONE AND
THEY'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND THEN TRIS CUMS WITH
HIS ARM AROUND MILES GOD IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD IT'S INDESCRIBABLE IT'S JUST SO
FUCKING INDESCRIBABLY GOOD SO AS SOON AS HE HAS CONTROL OF HIMSELF AGAIN HE
WHISPERS THANK YOU AN EVEN OUT OF BREATH, MILES IS STILL HIMSELF, JOKING NO,
THANK /YOU/ AND TAPS TR*STAN’S NOSE AND TRIS SCRUNCHES UP HIS FACE AND MILES
LAYS DOWN NEXT TO TRIS STILL JUST GRINNING UNCONTROLLABLY BECAUSE THAT'S ALL HE
CAN SEEM TO DO AROUND TRISTAN
***** throw a porcupine at me i deserve it *****
Chapter Summary
     NSFW ahahahahaa why did i do this. god i. this just. smh
     /overstimulation t
     /slight dubcon t but with context of their relationship i'd dismiss
     it bc trust and honesty is a thing they have??
     oh also the first one to speak is tris but this is just dialogue so
“Do you want – ah – to order in when Zoë – ahh, hah – gets here?”
“Ask – mh, mh – ask me in ten minutes.”
“In ten - oh god - minutes you’ll be asleep and I’ll – huh, mmmhmh-mh – be
cleaning the ap-haaah-rtmentfuck.”
“Okay, fine, we’ll get something nnnnnice thoughhoohhh.”
“Thank you.  Nnngh, thank you, thank you, thank you, hold my handaaaahhhh.”
“Good?”
“Yes. Always yes. Damnit. Sorry. Lie back and I’ll –”
“Nooo, stay inside me.”
“Awh, you’re such a cutie.”
“Could you… let me keep going? I’m close.”
“Okay. Yeah, I guess I c-OH GOD, no, I can’t, I can’t.”
“Are you sure?  I came four times last night, can you at least try? Just this
time?”
“Ah, okay, okay, I see your point, hmng, keep going.”
“Love you, Tris. Hm. Hm. Fuck. Hah. Hnh, ah, oh my god,thank you Tr-ahhhhmngh,
mm. Fuck, you’re amazinghh. Hthank youh.”
“That is the worst feeling I have ever experienced.”
“Heh, I’m sorry.  You did good.  I won’t forget this.”
“What?”
“I just mean, I’m grateful and stuff.”
“Awhhhhh!  You’re getting cuddly!”
“Well, we all fall victim sometimes.”
“I love you.”
***** youth *****
Chapter Summary
     come on a journey with me to a world where it's just a regular
     episode and Triles are just chillin' but then an adventure montage to
     Youth by Troye Sivan happens lol happy late Valentine's day
ok so triles are just having a casual afternoon and tris says something
inconsequential idk whatever it's not important and miles rolls on top of tris
and says "what if i do this?"
then tris goes "what if"
and miles goes "what if we run away?"
and tris' eyes soften and he smiles a lil bit "what if"
"what if we left today?"
and he grins "what if"
"we say goodbye to safe and sound?"
and by the end of the line they're both like so fucking smiley
and then they're dragging each other out the door grinning like their faces are
about to shatter and they get into miles' convertible and they're riding with
the top down and tris' hair ungelled in the wind and they're laughing on a
highway
and miles takes his hand while he changes gears and there's a bunch of cute car
scenes and then when it's like 'fireproof' you see silent tris say ‘I love you’
(and miles had already said it but tris wasn’t sure and tris was the one
worried about it but miles was all 'hey it's chill you don't have to say it
right now' but now he's ready and he says it awwww)
and now they’re on top of a hill with a beautiful view of whatever city and
they’re standing in front of the car like they were looking at the view but now
they’re looking at each other and then when it's like MY YOUTH they clash into
this full body kiss a lil bit like the Don't Look Back one except tris isn't
doing that weird thing with his arms??? what the fuck???????
and there’s all these shots of them playing on swingsets and jumping fences and
being cheeky fucks and it’s getting dark and they share an ice cream cone and
kiss and it’s so disgustingly cute and a few shots of them laying on a beach
staring at the stars
and then just before the second chorus miles pulls out a joint and wiggles it
between his fingers like he did with the backstage pass in his first episode
with raised eyebrows like he does and tris looks hesitant for a sec eyeing it
cautiously but (without looking at miles bc it can’t seem like he only did it
for miles!!!!!!) he starts to seem sure and nods
and then at ‘my youth’ it’s like a minute later in their universe and tris is
taking a hit and then for the next line he’s coughing and they're both laughing
and miles says some random advice you can’t hear with a vague gesture like
pointing between tris and the joint and then takes it from his hand
and they get back to the car and tris lightly whacks miles’ stomach with the
back of his hand and says something that looks like “oh my god – we can’t
drive!” so they walk around for a while (looking for a place to crash but
that’s probably not obvious enough)
and miles stops walking at a stripper bar and does the eyebrow head angle thing
like ‘whaddaya say’ so tris walks back toward him and gently presses their
bodies together and looks at his lips for a painfully long moment then he gives
him the sweetest, slowest kiss ever and miles looks like he’s under a love
spell or something his expression is ‘swoon, sigh, I’m so head over heels in
love’ so tris turns around all proud and smug pulling miles by his wrist (who
forgets to move his feet until he’s about to fall over and then has to do that
half running thing to catch up)
and then they’re in a convenience store buying just so many doritos. So many.
(also tris throws a tub of ice cream (yeah he loves ice cream) and chocolate
syrup in)
and finally they find a motel and while miles is talking to the owner, acting
totally normal, tris is being really fucking rude shoving doritos into his face
and walking around touching stuff
so finally they get to their room and tris is holding the ice cream tub in the
air like fucking Simba or something yelling SPOOOOOON I NEED A SPOON and miles
is just like lmao here and gets one for himself but when he tries to get some
tris smacks his hand away from the tub omgggg
and finally they’re lying side by side on the bed just chillin like they were
at the start and tris turns to him and says “sex?” and miles is all “yes
please” and the chocolate syrup comes in handy (no not as lube they just lick
it off each other and have lil chocolatey kisses don't be gross)
***** marridge *****
Chapter Summary
     this is disgustingly soppy and ooc especially toward the end
     also i'm not a fan of marriage headcanons or whatever i just had this
     idea when i read one where tristan said his vows but i can't remember
     any of it to figure out who wrote it lmao
     i'm gonna be honest i didn't even reread this i'm just tryna clear
     out my laptop
Miles turned to the officiate with a sigh. “Can I kiss him yet?”
Affectionate laughter echoed all around them, their family and friends knowing
exactly ???? this is so like him??? kinda thing????????????????
“Alright, so, Tristan noticed last night that I was acting a little nervous,
and he didn’t even have to ask what was wrong. He just jumped right in and
saved me – he had to help me write this which, I think is unconventional? But
uh, we all know my first draft didn’t go so well.”
Again, amusement rippled through the crowd as Miles retrieved a crumpled, worn-
out note from his pocket.
“I, Miles Hollingsworth the Third, take you, Tristan Milligan, to be my husband
and partner in life. You saw through the person I pretended to be and helped me
become the person I wanted to be. I still don’t understand why you chose me,
but I’m honoured to be yours. All I ever want to do is keep you happy and
healthy and safe and I swear to do whatever it takes to ensure that. I swear to
never lie to you unless I know for sure that you want me to. We’ve been through
so much and come out a hundred times stronger, wiser, and closer. I know we’re
ready for whatever comes our way.”
“You may seal your vows with – aaand there they go.”
Tristan’s arms were crossed behind Miles’ neck, whose hands had flown to his
husband’s waist the instant he knew he could get away with breaking the grasp.
The kiss was nothing special, but it still felt new to both of them, like a new
dimension had been discovered between them. When the passion waned, the two
parted and immediately began to grin uncontrollably.
“We’re married.” Tristan whispered, and Miles heard him clearly amid the
applause and cheers of their guests.
“We’re married.” Miles returned, taking a moment to gaze into his husband's
eyes before they turned to walk back down the aisle.
***** imagine if gage was an asshole about tris lying *****
Chapter Summary
     ok so before 14b aired i wrote like ten different ways the trage?
     date could have gone and one of them was that fluphies post where
     gage was an asshole and miles felt bad for him
     pls remember this is called 'unfinished fics' bc they're shitty but
     the idea is there if anyone wants to do it properly lol idc
"shit, that guy was an asshole"
"what do you want"
"to comfort you. i'm your knight in shining armour *sits down across from him*"
(he’s joking but kinda deadpan so you have to know him really well to be able
to pick it up and luckily tris does know him very well but he ignores the joke
anyway)
"i don't need you, miles. leave me alone"
"you shouldn't be alone. you should have dozens of cute guys around you."
"are you trying to make me feel even worse?"
"no, no, i - i'm sorry. i just meant, i don't get why people can't see how
great you are"
"*scoff* missing me, are you?"
"something like that"
"*gives him a once-over* well. i'd better get going -"
"no, stay"
"why."
"because you're right, i do miss you"
"meaning?"
"dunno. just... miss having you around."
"cause i made you feel good, right? it was never about me as a person"
"*confusion face* yes, it was"
"right"
"tris, you made me laugh. you're clever and kind and shut me down when I was
being stupid. you're so cute when you get excited about things or you start
ranting about stuff. you're selfless, and sweet, and loveable –“
"loveable? you never loved me."
"who said that"
"well, you didn't"
"we dated for like, two weeks, tris. but i always loved you as a friend."
"*grimace-y smile* thanks."
they're silent for a moment, tris sips his coffee.
simultaneous: tris: "so what do you - " miles: "i was thinking - "
they both do that cute lil smile at the table thing.
tris: "you first"
"i was thinking you should have been in winston's play. he probably didn’t mean
to write that detective role for you but we both know you would have killed
it.."
"yeah, i saw it. i thought i'd take a break from things that - ah. never mind."
"what?"
"things that reminded me of you?"
miles opens his mouth to say something, then changes his mind and just nods,
staring at his own coffee.
M: "i never told you i'm sorry. it was a tough time and, I really regret
hurting you. you were the perfect boyfriend and I totally screwed you over."
“thank you.”
t: “so… what was really going on? was it me, was I a mistake?”
“no, absolutely not. no.”
“then what? just please let there be a reason because I don’t want to believe
you could be that cruel.”
and then it ends sadly because i never end my fics sadly so GUESS FUCKIN WHAT
MILES STILL CAN’T TALK TO HIM ABOUT THAT SHIT AND TRIS IS JUST LIKE…….. HE
LEAVES AND IT FEELS LIKE HE CAN’T BREATHE TO THINK THAT THE GUY HE’S IN LOVE
WITH REALLY DOESN’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SINGLE SOLITARY SHIT ABOUT HIM
(but the real ending is like yknow after that he collapses against a wall
crying n hugging himself miles finds him and he’s crying a lil bit too and he
kisses tris nd tells him “i’m, like, scared to tell you everything” and he goes
“why” and he’s all “because, yknow, i can’t look weak and shit” and tris is
sobbing u know he’s like “fuck just tell me. just talk to me, miles, please,
even if you’re lying i don’t care just say something to make it better” and
they’re both blurry eyed pressing their foreheads togetehr feeling super shitty
and knowing the other one feels shitty too and milse is just like yes i want to
make this better i wannt thatso much i just can’t i don’t know where to start i
still don’y know for sure if he’ll forgive me even if i explain what if i don’t
sound sure becaus im not sure maybe my dad was right about me anyway but
“promise me you w…” and trails off bc he’s CRYINGGGG and tris is all “i have
always been good to you how can you not trust me”
and ye idk miles is jsut like sigh ok here goes “so my dad blah blah blah…
***** not tr/les!!!! this is, like, anti miles *****
Chapter Summary
     THIS ONE IS ZOË AND MAYA FRIENDSHIP. NOT TR/LES.
     ok so u know how miles and tris walk away after the 'i don't do
     reruns' thing and maya looks at zoë kinda regretfully and turns away
     too
     ya so imagine if she was nice instead and zoë never did any of the
     crimes or awful manipulative things! it's all maya's fault for not
     learning her lesson about peer pressure and fitting in from last
     time! jk
     god these are all such garbage i know i'm aware
"Yeah, we have cheerleaders."
"Oh, so you're going to talk to me?"
"Look, Zoë, I'm sorry that Miles treated you badly but that's not my fault.
You're right, I do like him, but I never would have acted on it while you were
still together."
"Ha. I saw you when he was trapped in that wooden thing, mouths close, making
eyes at each other. You wanted him."
"You know what, Zoë, this whole feud started because you left me outside at the
concert. Ever think that maybe you didn't have to steal friends?"
I didn't steal anyone. Tristan's the one who chose me. And so did Miles until
you elbowed your way in."
Maya takes a deep breath.
"I didn't mean to do that. Even though I wasn't your biggest fan I wasn't
trying to break you guys up. But from what he's told me, he sounds like a total
player anyway."
"But you still want to date him."
"I don't know! Maybe. All I know is that he... doesn't want to be with you :
/ and that sucks and I'm sorry but I can't just tell him to like you. And
besides, you're the one who keeps glaring at me, stepping on my toes. Do you
even know how many allowances that dress would cost if I couldn't return it?"
"Then why did you buy it?"
"Because I wanted to be as good as you, okay? I was tired of being the flat
footed girl with no money, no boobs, and one friend who'd ditch me for you in
an instant. You had it all and I wanted one night to be pretty. Sue me."
Zoe is quiet.
Maya chews her lip then Becky conveniently walks past
"Oh - Becky!"
"Hi! Maya right?"
"Yeah. This is Zoë; she's interested in power cheer. Do you guys have tryouts
for the year or something?"
"Absolutely, we -"
(Zoë) "Actually can I come find you later? Maya and I really need to talk."
"Oh, sure! (to maya) tristan should have my number if you need it!"
"I'm sorry. You're right, Miles is the asshole here. I shouldn't have blamed
you."
"It's okay."
"So, I'm... not good with apologies. Do I have to do anything else so we can
put this behind us?"
Maya shakes her head. "Wait... are you... like... asking if we can be friends?"
"I... guess so?"
"Then... okay?"
***** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *****
Chapter Summary
     miles between 1501 and 1502 tbh.
     nsfw, dubcon if you squint
even though i'm fuming i still don't want to punch him.
with my dad, i always envision elaborate murders,
torture, screaming right into his ears until he gets the
message.
with tris, when i'm angry, now, i just want to kiss him
hard and smash his hips between mine and his
bedroom wall.
i want to scratch him and bite him and fuck his ass
until he cums and begs me to stop, until he admits i
was right and he's sorry and he's a pathetic fucking idiot.
i want to pull him close enough that my fingers leave
bruises on him, suck marks all over his body that won't
disappear for weeks and hear him moan for it. i want
him to be reminded of me every time he moves and
something hurts.
i want to push him down onto his knees on the hard wood
floor of his room and put his overactive mouth to better
use. i want to grip his hair tight and make him look at me
while he does the best damn work of his life.
but mostly i want to cum down his stupid throat so the
endorphins will make me forgive him.
i want to look down at him with his eyes watering and
spit all over his face until we both catch our breaths,
then take his hand and pull him up to stand next to me.
i want to look into his eyes for a moment, kiss him
softly, no tongue, just gentle lips, and move back to
wipe his tears away.
i want to see understanding in his tired eyes; i don't
want him to be scared of me.
i want to wrap my arms around him and feel our sweat
mixing again, bring our chests together so we can feel
each other's hearts still beating a little too fast.
i want to whisper into his neck that i'm sorry and hear
him tell me i don't have to be, that he's okay and he
knew he was safe.
i want to feel him thread his fingers through my hair
and brush it out of my eyes, then tug me over to lie
down on his bed, curl up next to me with a hand on
my stomach.
***** one word meme that probably isn't a meme *****
Chapter Summary
     someone told me to describe triles in one word and I was like 'I
     could describe different headcanoned aspects of them in one word?'
     and I like this game everyone should play it with their faves lol
tristan’s personality: frank
tristan’s interests: motley
tristan as a romantic person: delight
tristan as a sexual person: grip
tristan describing miles: whimsy
tristan grocery shopping: sensible
tristan on his wedding day: jitters
tristan on his honeymoon: squeals
tristan at weddings: tears
tristan at funerals: sombre
miles’ personality: temperate
miles’ interests: straightforward
miles as a romantic person: inarticulate
miles as a sexual person: for
miles describing tristan: quickly
miles grocery shopping: childlike
miles on his wedding day: know
miles on his honeymoon: adoring
miles at weddings: cake
miles at funerals: awkward
triles itself: incorporation
triles conflict: charged
triles resolution: meek
triles romantically: devoted
triles sexually: synergy
triles grocery shopping: grab
triles’ proposal: because
triles’ wedding day: misfortunate
triles’ honeymoon: love
triles’ marriage: youth
triles at weddings: delight
triles at funerals: inconspicuous
triles’ kids: trouble
elderly triles: ease
***** eh *****
Chapter Summary
     i wrote this whole thing at some point but then i lost it lol i'm sad
     (nsfw)
Miles and Zig got matching prince alberts while drunk and handcuffed and
basically the reason they’re so awkward for the webisodes is because their
dicks hurt but they can’t say anything to each other and then when Miles and
Tris get back together he has to tell him he got a piercing and he starts off
really dramatic and Tris is terrified Miles slept with someone else or
something equally heart-dropping, stop-breathing “shit oh no oh my god what”
but then he’s like “it appears that I got my dick pierced?” *wince* and Tris is
like oh ok lmao
And then I planned for them to fuck and obvs include jewellery play (which
would feel so fucking incredible and Miles’d almost cry from it because he
totally hadn’t been with anyone since Tristan absolutely not two entire people
nope) and then later Tris would be the big spoon and they’re falling asleep and
Tris asks him why he kept it and he’s all sheepish like ‘pfft idk no reason I
wasn’t secretly waiting till you run your tongue over it and make me cum so
hard you have to lick it clean with that look in your eye that’s so filthy it
should be illegal what no nothing like that’
And then Tris tells him he has a kink and Miles interrupts with something along
the lines of “I’ll do it.  Anything, I’ll do it.” and he slowly smiles and says
I’ll tell you tomorrow but for now go to sleep (and dream of me)
And u just know Miles dreams about his own kinks which may or may not include
Tristan shoving his tongue and fingers into him even after he cums just to make
him squirm and sweat until he cums again and his body is completely spent
shaking weak like a fucking foal trying to hold itself up but he endures it/
being tied to the bed arching his back and whimpering at the assault on his
nervous system of Tristan sucking him off with ice in his mouth, only Tristan,
he’s never dreamed of anyone else, not even when he was with a girl, because
sex never felt so intensely shiveringly have-to-get-a-hall-pass-to-throw-water-
on-his-face-at-just-the-memory good with anyone else and he knew it never would
because Tristan, he was it.  He was more than a high school sweetheart, he was
more than a fun few weeks experimenting, he was the only one who could give him
what he wanted and make him want to work hard to deserve it, he was the only
one who saw through the harsh words and cold demeanour when something was wrong
and pushed, forced his walls down, and there was nothing he was more grateful
for than the universe giving Tristan back to him.
***** eh part 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     i'm having one of those days where i stop being a perfectionist, and
     also stop lying to myself saying i'll fix it eventually
and then the [secret kink smut I haven’t published yet which I actually will]
and “we’re keeping that” and Tris says "duh no way I’d get rid of it after the
moans you gave me.  But there must be something you want." and Tris says he’s
not comfortable with group sex or pain play but he’ll try anything else because
he owes it after Miles trying this thing for him and Miles can’t fathom him
ever owing him anything like ‘omg no literally I’m the one who owes you
everything please don’t ever feel like you have to do anything for me.  P l e a
s e don’t do anything you don’t want to, ever!!’
And Tris says “okay, okay.  But isn’t there something?  Everyone has
something.  Tell me and I’ll try.”
Miles is thinking like ‘Fuck, after all this time of me trying so desperately
to be what he wants, now he thinks he has to appease me?  I can’t allow this. 
Say there’s nothing.  Say it’s illegal say he’d never be okay with it say it
would upset him.’ so he mumbles something incoherent like ‘I don’t know’ or
‘not really’ but Tristan pleads  for a bit and Miles still won’t tell him.

So Tris gets upset thinking it involves girls but actually he just wants Tris
to take him however he wants; that’s what turns him on.  Tristan breathing in
Miles’ moans and breathing out lust.  To look into his eyes forever.  He
doesn’t need sex, he just needs Tristan.  No, bad choice of words.  He craves
Tristan, on his tongue, inside him, above him, but he doesn’t need him.  He
doesn’t deserve him.  He… he fears him.  He fears letting him down.  He never
wants to hurt him but he already has, maybe irreparably, and remembering makes
his stomach churn, makes him grind his teeth, makes him tense every muscle in
his body to the point of pain because fuck he could have ruined everything but
here he is next to the boy of his dreams, who hasn’t even cum yet- “oh my god
you haven’t even cum yet” and Tristan gives a smile and says, "I don’t need
to.  All I wanted was you."  And Miles is like um fuck that *blowjob*
And maybe it was just seeing Tristan’s smile as he laughed giddily at Miles’
tongue trying new things, or maybe it was how he felt when Tristan told him
that was amazing, but he knew if he never achieved anything else in his life
but making Tristan cum or smile, he didn’t fucking care.  There wasn’t a single
cell in his body that didn’t want the absolute best for Tristan, his Tristan,
the Tristan that shouldn’t be his, but the Tristan that chose him so he’ll
never give up trying to be the perfect boyfriend.  Even if he goes broke, even
if Tristan stops loving him, even if he has to give him a kidney, he will fight
every waking second to match Tristan’s sweet nature, be everything he is for
Miles and more.
Sure, Tris knows he’s an okay guy but he doesn’t see how a wave and a smile to
some random freshman he spoke to once three months ago can make their day.  He
doesn’t see how he brightens every room and steals the focus with his gorgeous
just-woke-up-and-I’m-twenty-minutes-late messy hair and that no one else in the
world has a more perfect natural pout.  He can’t see the way having his
attention makes anyone feel like they’re all he’ll ever care about again. He
doesn’t know how his classmates worry when he’s not in school because he’s
never sick.  He doesn’t know how encouraging it is that after all the shit he’s
been through he still holds the door open for people and asks them how they
are. 
Miles knows he will never have a handshake as electrifying, or a frown as
devastating, or a kiss as purifying even when his intention is filthy.
***** ehhhhh *****
Chapter Summary
     douse me in holy water these three are all very nsfw
After flirting through the entire drive home, Tristan hadn’t stopped palming
Miles over his jeans since they reached the door at his house.
 
Collapsing haphazardly backward onto the sofa, Miles thumped his head against
it, straining upwards into Tristan’s touch.  “Fuck, Tris, come on!” As Tristan
kneeled to drop soft kisses down his hipbone, Miles whined, a combination of
complaint and craving.  Tristan knew he was tormenting Miles far more than he
himself would ever be able to tolerate, but he had learned that it always made
his lover cum harder when he finally did.
 
Smiling, Tristan teased, “You ready?” Miles arched his back, gripping his
partner’s hair and cried, “Tristanwillyoupleasejustfuckme!” Tristan sniggered,
proud to feel so wanted, and fulfilled the request, pushing off Miles’ jeans
but careful not to crumple them where they fell.  Now cupping his boyfriend’s
throbbing erection through his boxers, he promised himself this would be the
last of the torture.  Tristan swiftly pulled out his lover’s cock and wrapped
his lips around the leaking head, earning a grateful sigh.  While he drew more
of Miles into his mouth he heard the adoring, urgent voice of the rich boy
slurring, “Fffuuuck, thank you, Tris, I love you, fuck, FUCK.”
 
Tristan never imagined he would love sucking anyone off as much as he did with
Miles.  It was probably the reward of hearing the sounds Miles made for him
that created this effect.  The brunet writhed beneath him, moaning loud and
urgent, still threading his hands through Tristan’s jet black hair just for
something to hold onto – until he uses his grip to pull him away.
 
“Ah, no, no more, I want you,” came the explanation.
 
Tristan pulled off and ceased all movement. “We’re out of condoms, babe.” (why
didn't they get condoms while they were out)
“I don’t care.”
“You do.  I know you do.  And blowjobs aren’t totally safe either, remember?”
he reminded Miles.
 
Miles just whimpers?whines? and drops his hand down Tristan’s neck.
 
Meanwhile, Tristan has a brainwave??? He slowly brings his fingers to his
tongue, watching Miles practically salivate over the action.
 
“Oh god,” the brunet groaned, recalling the last time Tristan had used his
fingers with him ????/to get him off. Glazed eyes, Lids threatening to close/
flickering/that gif where he’s all “I really hope not”?????? ya he’s goin nuts
“Please…” Miles was barely aware that he spoke; entranced by the show Tristan
was putting on for him.
As he lowered his hand, Tristan leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend.  He
responded eagerly, exhaling faintly when he felt Tristan glide over his
opening.
When Tristan finally entered him (lmao 111111111 das 1 finger i gotta count
them)
2222222222
 
a lil thing abt miles enjoying himself… something physical????? not sounds
 maybe nails  orrrrr his jaw going slack for a secon but then he rembers he’s
sposta be kissin his Trissin
 
Miles’ corners of mouth??? Twitched for only a second before tris was all yez
time 4 another fingery dingery 333333333333
 
so anyways tris starts to move faster reaching his prostate n he’s all rolling
hips gripping his arm idk
“I can take more, come on.”
Tristan added another finger ??? , 44444444
and Miles hummed against his lips/into the kiss????
 
“More.”
“Miles –”
“More!” he repeated ???? but not like mean yelling idk I don’t have any
particular idea of how he says it
… … … …………………
 
Le fingers stilled
“If you’re sure, I should go get some lube.”
“Yeah?” Miles panted, “Might as well continue this in my room then.”
 
With a Lusty expression or w/e, they move to the bedroom and miles makes v
manly sounds yes. manly. so manly. not at all whiny or begging nope just 100%
pure gay lumberjack porn grunts……....…………….
ye idk maybe ill just leave it to the imagination or I could just end it lik e”
AND THEN TRISTAN PUTS HIS ENTIRE ARM UP MILES’ ASS”
***** lol *****
Chapter Summary
     this one's so ooc i can't bear to work on it so
     *miles voice* "here have some sickly sweet consent dialogue i don't
     care anymore"
*Tris is blowing him*
“I’m close,” he choked, straining against the handcuffs securing him, arching
his back so far upward that Tristan half expected it to snap.
Seeing Miles’ lips part in a silent scream, Tristan tightly gripped the base of
Miles’ cock and
“Fuck, what – mhn – what the hell?!”
“You’re gonna hold it for me, okay?”
Tristan’s fingers dug in harder as he took the brunet’s cock back in his mouth.
Shivering, Miles panted, “Oh god, Tris, you’re – ah! Shit! Shit, shit, fuck, I
hate you!”
But Tristan only moved faster as Miles tried to twist out of his grasp.
“No, oh my god, let me cum pleeeease!”
“Just a little longer, okay?”
Tears threatened to spill from the rich boy’s eyes as he released a strangled
whine of, “Tris, ple-please, I can’t…”
“You can do it, baby, I know you can.”
“Tristan-if-we-had-a-safeword-I-would-be-using-it-right-now-please-stop!”
Tristan looked up with widening eyes and immediately loosened his grip,
 and puts his mouth on the dick and tries to make it the best blow job ever
until he jizzes and stops convulsing and whatever
He shouted as he came straight into Tristan’s mouth.
The brunet’s head fell back against the pillows, fighting to catch his breath/
struggling to control his breathing/chest rising and fallingwhile Tristan
snatches the key off the adjacent dresser and unlocks the handcuffs.
“Baby I’m so sorry, I thought –”
“Hey no it’s okay, we’re okay.”
“No, I pushed you too far, I should have stopped, I should know you well enough
–”
“Tris,” his tone became almost warning, despite his uncontrolled breathing. 
“Calm down. You know I wouldn’t say it’s okay if it wasn’t.”
He turns to grip Tristan’s (softening or still hard idk) cock but he swats his
hand away.
“Yeah, but I made you feel unsafe.  God, Miles, I hurt you.”
“But I forgive you.”
Tristan’s eyes well up with tears, and he pats Miles’ cheek as the only sign of
affection he could give at that time.
“It’s okay.  It happens, we’ll learn from this.  Really.  I’m okay.”
Tristan bit his lip and placed his hands around the other boy’s neck and slid
them down to rest flat against the other boy’s chest.
“I love you, I never meant to hurt you, I’m so sorry.”
“I know, Tris.  You stopped as soon as you realised;  you did everything
right.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Please try not to worry about it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Tristan.  Shut up and cuddle with me or I’ll un-forgive you,” he joked.
Shifting backward into his boyfriend’s sweltering frame, Tristan felt the boy
pull him into his arms.  He also felt warm kisses being pressed into his neck
(Tristan’s persisting erection was the last thing on his mind.  All he could
think about was how awful he felt, and how awful he was for feeling awful about
his own feeling when he’d made Miles feel even more awful.) (It’s over, it’s in
the past.)
“Are you sure I can’t get you some cocoa, or find you a joint, or something?”
“Babe, close your eyes for a sec.”
Tristan complied. 
“Now unravel that knitted brow of yours, and take a deep breath.”
Miles wasn’t used to talking about emotions ???? began tracing patterns on
Tristan’s chest.
“Remember where you are. You’re with your boyfriend, who loves and adores you…”
Miles cooed. “You just gave me an awesomeblowjob-slash-ass-fucking…”
The two laughed.
“And, yeah, a little thing went wrong, but that’s okay.  I’m okay.  Because I
know you were just trying to make me happy.  And next time we’ll know better.”
“Absolutely.  I swear I will always check first before I do anything new and
we’ll find safewords and –”
“And, now we’re falling asleep together.  And we’re going to wake up together
and spend the whole day together shopping in beautiful Toronto…”
“Finding you some shirts that aren’t blue…” Tristan cautiously joked, earning a
light chuckle from his lover.
“And, if you really need to, you can make it up to me by holding my hand and
giving me lots of little kisses.” Miles grinned.
Tristan turned over to face him, still wrapped in his arms. “I love you so
much, Miles, I’m so sor–”
“Don’t you dare apologise again.”
“Wait, just let me finish.”
Miles hkfhskh??? Proceeded
“I love you.  You are everything to me.  I know I’m totally making this about
me and that’s not at all what I want to do but – look, I understand that I
really screwed up tonight.”
“I trust you.  I forgive you.  We’re fine, I’m okay.  I promise I’ll say
something if it starts to upset me.”
***** dubcon if u squint *****
Chapter Summary
     i wrote most of these before miles' addiction began (which tells you
     a lot about me) and am now firmly against him ingesting any mind- or
     mood-altering drugs, regardless of legality. However, if you can
     pretend that most of their personalities and histories aren't a thing
     for the first few lines of this that'd be swell
Miles wakes up with his back pressed against Tristan, both still naked from a
drunken fumble the night before.  He turns over to look at Tristan’s porcelain
sleeping face, hair messy and innocent and looking (look up that lyle photo w
messy hair omfg) as if it had been through a hurricane (micah’s description),
kisses him softly and whispers I love you.  Sleepy Tristan just smiles with his
eyes closed.
Looks at the clock? SWEATING FROM SUMMER CONVENIENTLY NO BLANKETS LOL
Miles goes to make breakfast, protein shake for Tris and uhhhh idk toast for
himself?  What would he eat lmao 
Anyways while he does that he’s thinking about uhhh idk like whatever some
lovey dovey shit
He comes back and sees sleepy Tris and goes wahey if I have to wake him up it
should really be fun so he puts down the glass and his plate on the nightstand
and kneels over his boyfriend, careful not to disturb his sleeping frame (is
that a thing people say)
Miles slips his left hand into Tristan’s right, intertwining their fingers to
let him know he’s safe while he fades into consciousness. (although physically
that is kinda impossible because the hand is upside down an d just. It doesn’t
work)
Taking a moment to admire his slumbering lover/cherub/boo/bae/boobae/booby/
bitch/babe/sugar/doodooDOO doo Doo doo/aww honey honey/doodooDOO doo Doo doo/
muffin/cupcake/trissyboo/hottie, Miles leans down to place a tender kiss on his
hip before taking Tristan in his mouth, albeit at an awkward angle.
Tristan doesn’t open his eyes, but his breathless laugh convinces Miles that he
is awake, or awake enough.  He lets out a soft moan as he twists to lie on his
back, gently arching and gripping the sheets surrounding him.  Tristan opens
his eyes and shuffles around to see his boyfriend better.  “Miles, I don’t
think -” Miles switches his mouth for his hand, pressing his thumb into the
slit and moving up his partner’s body.
(he’s growing harder? Twitching? Or just morning wood idk fuck this entire
thing)
“Shh.  Don’t think.  Just feel it.” 
Tristan reluctantly/hesitantly complies, leaning back against the pillows and
letting Miles follow to kiss any hesitation out of him, barely aware that he
was breathing shakily around his lips.
He can’t help wrapping an arm around Miles’ waist to pull him closer
??? Tristan’s sounds were becoming more urgent 
Miles pulls back and flashes the most genuine smile Tristan had seen in days,
careful not to crush his partner’s hand climbing back down to put his mouth
back where it belonged.
Tristan could feel the pleasure coiling in his stomach as his free hand flew to
Miles’ hair, lightly tugging, encouraging, praising.
exhaling ‘yes fuck’ and Miles strokes his inner thigh with his free hand as he
takes him deeper
squeezes Miles’ hand painfully tight as he cums, slamming his head back onto
the bed, whole body convulsing under Miles from the near-blinding pleasure.
And Miles watches him as he swallows hungrily (?), running his free hand down
Tristan’s stomach . Hetaste feel sight hear proprioception balance pain
temperature
“You know exactly what I like.”
“I’ve been paying attention.”
Tristan grins shyly, refusing to let his boyfriend’s hand go even when Miles
moves to lie next to him. After catching his breath, he turns on his side to
face Miles, finding him already smirking dopily at him. Pleased? at this,
Tristan released
“Your turn.”
“Nope, not happening.”  Miles expertly escaped Tristan’s grasp, rolling away to
collect their not-so-extravagant cuisine. “It’s breakfast time.”
“Just once, will you let me return the favour?”  He pleaded, seeming not to
notice the glass Miles held in front of him.
“It’s not a favour, Tris, it’s a blowjob, and I don’t need one.” Miles glanced
pointedly at the glass and shifted it further into his boyfriend’s line of
sight.
“I’ll have to catch you when you’re sleeping then.  That shouldn’t be hard.”
 By now, Miles was exasperated enough to grasp Tristan’s hand and curl the
fingers around the glass himself.  “Speaking of your sleeping habits, why are
you so chipper?  Don’t you have a hangover?”
“You make me a morning person.” Miles casually responded, as he took a bite
from a slice of toast.
“What?”
Miles shrugged.  “Waking up next to you is the perfect start to my day.”
“No way.  No.  Nuh-uh.  You don’t get to say romantic things like that and not
let me give you a happy ending.”
“I am happy."
***** hhhhhhh *****
Chapter Summary
     this one's kinda cute but mostly just dumb lol
(muffled chip mouth) Tris! How's my Leonardo di Schwarzenegger?
“Hey, I – I know you're on date night next week but I was… hoping it was
something that could be postponed?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. It is,” Miles paused. “Something wrong?”
“I'm just totally burnt out and I need a break to...” he trailed off with a
sigh, “I don't know. Stare at a wall. Shut off my mind for a while”
“Yeah, okay. Well, you do what you need. I could... come over if you wanted? We
could have a quiet night in?”
(sigh ...) “Look, Miles, I'm so sorry to do this but I need to be alone. Like,
alone alone.”
Trying to mask his disappointment with concern, Miles replied, “Oh. Yeah. Yeah,
that's fine. Of course.”
Tristan wasn’t convinced by Miles’ ? and continued. “I just can't be worrying
about what I look like or being a good host or whatever. Plus there'll probably
be some ugly crying.”
“Wait – crying? Is there anything I can do?”
“You're so sweet, but, no.”  Tristan’s smile could be heard in his voice and
felt his heart pinch a little wishing he could see it too. “I just have to cram
this in somewhere and – god, this is going to sound awful but – you're the only
thing without a deadline.  Baby, I'm sorry, I–”
“No, no, I totally get it. Don't worry about me at all.”
“Thank you so much, Miles. You're a life saver. Preventative measures, is all.
I can't afford a breakdown right now.”
“Hey, you don't have to explain. Supportive is in the job description.”
“Thank you; I love you.”
“Love you too, Tris. Take care of yourself.”
“You too, Mr. Potato-Chips-For-Breakfast-On-A-Saturday.”
“I'll have you know, these are corn chips, and I consider it breakfast
dessert.” Miles punctuated his statement with a crunch as he bit down on
another chip.
(tris giggles then smiles the words) “I'll see you Monday.”
“Okay.”
***** just call me Spamalot *****
Chapter Summary
     like a year ago someone sent me this and said to continue it and i
     was like why are people sending me things that are already being done
     by an RP but it was cute so i did it anyway. hope you're still here,
     anon
     ( richboymileshollingsworth.tumblr.com/post/103292499007 )
Tristan heard footsteps descending the stairs and he looked up to see a
shirtless Miles walking through the doorway.  He couldn’t help the pink tinting
of his cheeks that occurred seeing his boyfriend this way.  He snuck a subtle
glance at Miles and his still damp hair.  His bangs had a slight wave to them
and they clung to his face. He’d never get over how gorgeous this boy was.
"Hey, where did I leave that shirt I bought yesterday?"
“On the counter.  Buuuut…” Tristan walked up to his boyfriend, first directing
his attention to his toned abs, then to his messy, damp hair, and finally
settled on his eyes.
"I don't think you need to be wearing it just yet."
Miles smirked.  "Oh yeah?  And why would that be?"
"Because I said so," Tristan replied, trailing his fingertips down Miles'
front.
The brunet recoiled as the light touches tickled his bare skin.
“Seems like you only want me for my body,” Miles joked, angling his head so his
lips were closer to Tristan’s.
“Mm, but you don’t mind, do you?” Tristan traced his way around his boyfriend’s
hips and locked their bodies together.
Their lips met in a sweet, soft kiss, but Tristan abruptly pulled away.
“You know that’s not true, though, right?  You don’t think I’m just-”
Laughing, Miles quieted him with another kiss.  “Hey, it’s okay.  I know.  I
love you too.”
Tristan relaxed and cupped Miles’ clean-shaven cheeks, caressing his jaw.
“When I’m with you, I feel like I don’t have to impress you.  I can just be me,
you know?”
Miles reached up and squeezed Tristan’s hands, eyes softening, but didn’t say
anything, spurring Tristan on to continue.
“When I look into your eyes, I forget that anything else exists.  It’s just
you, and me, and this… stillness that only you can show me.
“And I love how warm you are; how even in the heat of summer I still want to be
close to you and share your warmth.
“I love how your arms fit perfectly around me and my hand fits perfectly in
yours.”
To demonstrate, Tristan interlaced his fingers with his lover’s, drawing a
small, contented hum from him.
“I love your compassion, and how you try to be a better person every day.  I
love your family and I love that you love mine.
“I love how you listen to me complain about things you don’t care about but you
pretend to be outraged too.
“I love that you text me every time it rains, because it reminds you of our
first real kiss.”
“I didn’t think you’d caught onto that,” Miles chuckled, as Tristan relocated
his hands to the back of his lover’s neck, gently scratching into his hair.
“I love the way you mouth ‘I love you’ from across the room and it feels just
like the first time.
“And I love the sounds you make when we’re in bed, the way you let me see you
so open and vulnerable. I love your face when you come, just for me, and I know
you’re all mine.”
“Fuck,” Miles exhaled, eyes fixed on the other boy’s lips, then rushed forward
to smash his own into Tristan’s, determined to
???????????????????????????????????
 
*they smoochie smooch then they start makin out then it gets rly hot*
“Tris, I just showered.” Miles breathed.
“Lucky we have nowhere to be, then.”
***** hhhhhhh *****
Chapter Summary
     yikes if anyone from that irl thing is creeping me (bc the smut is
     actually about characterisation tyvm) but this was in my drafts and
     still made me emo
i'm upset i started to headcanon miles as colour blind because there's this
video of a guy whose boyfriend gets him enchroma glasses for his birthday and
he sees purple for the first time and he's overwhelmed and crying and i was
like oh my god what if triles
also amabs have higher genetic predispositions also his clothes? are so
terrible ??? SALMON PANTS??? and he can see blue pretty well so that's why he
wears like 99% blue shirts and i got so into it like imagine him having to
ask tris what colour something is or when he took oral french exams he'd have
to know how to apologise for being colour blind bye
but then i realised that might fucks with my headcanon that miles is a
freelance photography blogger/essayist unless he's works in monochrome and like
i want tristan to do modeling on the side of his starring role on a netflix
original when he's 23 and i want miles to do shoots with him
and i want miles to say tris is his favourite subject whether it's in an
innocent-looking shoot or when it's gritty or when it's sexy because (and then
he'd launch into why tris is so incredibly fascinating to him and talk for ten
years about how great it is to be in love with art in human form and be so
gross and annoying about how great tristan is)
ok so tris has a short film coming out or something and he's doing a promo
shoot and it's sexy as heck and mid-sexy shoot on their bed tris is like on his
knees like on his haunches idk?? u know what i mean? like sitting on his legs
idk and he smirks and tells miles he's hot when he's working and miles is all
flirty back
and tris starts stripping more than he was going to (because they'd planned and
talked because tris loves planning work stuff but loves spontaneous love stuff)
and then miles just kinda keeps taking photos while tris gets basically naked
and starts slowly stroking his dick looking right into the lens biting his lip
and stuff
and there's an unspoken agreement that these are just for them and miles
wouldn't dare risk uploading them even to his private storage but he finds it
so hot and it feels so good to know that tris trusts him like that and wants
him to take those photos and share that intimate moment
and tris is half hoping miles will stop him and get him off himself but doesn't
actually say it so miles just keeps working because he's dedicated to the art
and tris is letting his lips part and closing his eyes and miles gets really
fantastic shots of him coming but anyway
and tris looks at the cum on the sheets and usually he'd be like ah shit but
instead he smiles a little and is like 'your turn' and miles is like wait what
and tris super gently takes the camera from his hands and miles taught him a
little about photography so he knows how to do it and miles trusts him not to
break anything especially not his heart ayyyy
anyways miles is lookin kinda shy but he's def into it and he lies down and
gets his dick out and tris shoots from below his waist
and the photos tris takes aren't nearly as good but they look at them later and
miles is like 'wow you're right i'm so fuckin hot lol' and tris is like 'so am
I lol I love us'
and they never do it again but they keep the photos (even the bad ones) on
a heavily encoded folder in miles' non-work hard drive and an interviewer on
live national tv a few years later asks miles if he would ever shoot anyone
naked and he's like 'hmmm no probably not; personally i'm not too interested in
making art of that nature' and tris is watching because duh his husband is on
tv and he wonders if miles forgot the whole thing but miles was just a good
actor bc tris rubbed off on him aw
***** i love consent dialogue *****
Chapter Summary
     but i also need to chill about it
i was thinkin about parent triles and how tris would be like 'happy father's
day babe' and try to get all up on him and miles would be like 'uh no wtf happy
father's day to YOU' and then they start arguing about who gets to do their
best sex things to whom and they end up deciding miles gets to treat tris on
father's day and tris gets to do miles' fave things to miles on mother's day
because they never get to have sex anymore bc they have a kid to look after 24/
7
and miles is like 'i get to do u for father's day bc you're a better dad' and
then they get into an argument like miles' insecurities vs. tris tryna tell him
they've only been dads for like a few months and he needs to give himself some
credit bc he's not a terrible dad he just isn't the absolute best
and miles is like 'can we talk about this later i wAnt 2 sex u and make u feel
good' and tris is like 'no wtf' and miles is like 'it would make me feel better
bc sex is the only thing i'm good at' and tris is like 'what the fuck no you
fucking fuck you are so wrong here's a list of things you're good at'
and miles is like ugh and starts complaining like 'every time we have a deep
talk we never have sex after bc you're like "maybe it's not a good time maybe
one of us is vulnerable and we don't know it" ' and tris is like screeching
'CONSENT!111!1' and miles is like 'yes ok i know but maybe we need to cool it
so that we won't not have sex ever again'
and then tris is like sigh 'maybe i've been a little uptight abt this but not a
lot bc it does matter'
and miles is like 'yes i agree it does matter but let's compromise a little on
it' and then tris is like 'how about this time we just have some nice vanilla
"together" sex'
and they do and they're all schmoopy and sweet and kissy and soft and gentle
and they remember how much they love it like that and it's so cute they're so
cute i love their love
***** i call this one "lowly banana" *****
Chapter Summary
     i wish i could have just deleted this tbh but MI won't let me
"Wh-who’s there?”  Tristan called out, wielding a lowly banana.
Stepping back against the counter, his heart raced and muscles tensed.
“What do you want?”
As erratic footsteps moved toward the doorway, Tristan’s eyes darted to the set
of knives next to him.
He picked out the butcher knife; it looked scariest.
The steps drew closer, sounding neither heavy nor light, but one foot
distinctly dragged on the forward motion.
Tristan prepared himself for a fight, assuming the worst. 
 
...
 
Dropping the knife, he ran toward the figure and embraced him tightly.
“Miles!” he choked.
Removing his headphones, Miles smiled, unaware of the predicament.
"Hey, Tris!"
***** ferris wheel *****
Chapter Summary
     that feel when you don't remember ever taking drugs in your life but
     you must have been high to write this
'look at this bs we’re stuck on this damn ferris wheel I knew it I told you
this would happen'
'relax Tris let’s talk to pass the time ok tell me yr fave movie prop of all
time'
'lol easy as.  the bike from donnie darko ur turn ok what’s ur biggest regret'
'you already know my biggest regret.'
'do I?'
'I regret ever letting myself get close to you.'
'what the fuck Miles.'
'Yeah.'
'I thought u were gonna say, oh, I don't know, one of the times you hurt me? or
something about your family or drugs or I don't even know but this is just –'
'see?  I keep hurting u'
'then don’t!!!!!  don’t hurt me Miles!!!!  jfc u gotta stop pulling shit like
this.  I start to trust u again and u shatter it smh …… god u make it so hard
to love you' *arm fold + dramatic turn away*
'wait u luv me?'
*oh shit shit fuck shit uh* …….  'yes?  but you have to stop this self
defeating bullshit idk what I’m supposed -'
'*smoochie smooch* I love you more than anything *smooch*'
'ok I no u think that’s romantic but there’s still a problem here.  u have to
be selfish.  choose yourself over what u think I deserve.  choose us.'
*smoochies * *nod* 'okay' *smoochies*
***** Chapter 27 *****
Chapter Summary
     ok so imagine... ik it's hard bc of course the writers chose the non
     mono character to be the promiscuous one but... imagine miles is a
     virgin for this one
(THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY TO SAY STRADDLING JESUS CHRIST) MILES IS ON DA
BOTTOM BC HE A BOTTOM NAH BUT FR THO OK SO TRIS SORTA SLOWLY MOVING HIS CLOTHED
BONER ON MILES WHO ALSO HAS A BONER BUT HE’S BREATHLESS BC BONERS TOUCHING???
HOLY SIHT) waIT NO I SHOULD DO BACKSTORY OKAY
 
When the two boys arrived at the Milligan house, Tristan found the door
locked.  As he skilfully retrieved his key from a pocket in his tight jeans,
they shared a grin.  Finally, some time alone.
 
They dropped their bags by the front door, where Tristan found a note and some
money tacked to the wall apologising for both of his parents getting home
late.  Not even bothering to remove the note, the pair headed straight for the
couch.
 
The initial kiss was intense, but soft.  It lasted a half minute or so before
Miles shifted back against the arm of the couch, lightly tugging Tristan with
him.  Having to balance his twisted body on a hand beside Miles, Tristan became
uncomfortable, so for convenience he innocently straddled Miles.  Totally
innocently.  For convenience.
 
They managed to keep the kiss quite relaxed for some time, content just to have
time to themselves after a long day at school, but something about the way
Tristan was massaging his fingers into his hair just got to Miles.  An almost
imperceptible moan came from his throat and his hands slid to Tristan’s waist,
pulling him closer.
 
Tristan smiled into their kiss, wrapping his arms behind Miles neck.  The kiss
deepened and?????? then the clothed frottage
 
“Tris, wait.”
Tristan immediately took his hands off of his boyfriend, hovering them a few
inches away from his body.
“You okay?”
“Uh.  Yeah, I just, sorry.  This is all really new to me.”
Tristan noted that Miles’ expression was precisely the same as the one he wore
before laughing off their kiss in Paris.  As his fears of their relationship
being a part of Miles’ plans to get Maya back and wind up his father
resurfaced, Tristan swallowed them back and tried to understand.
“Right, yeah, it’s probably really different with girls–”
“No, no, I mean I’ve never…” Miles trailed off, looking to the side.
Tristan studied him, puzzled, until Miles drew in a deep breath.
“Oh.  Oh!  Really?”
“Are you mad?” Miles seemed to shy away from Tristan, pressing his back further
into the arm of the couch.
Tristan hurried to reassure him, more affectionate for the relief he felt
knowing the real reason behind Miles’ evasion.
“No, Miles, no, of course I’m not mad.  I’m just surprised, that’s all.  Very
surprised.”
“But, do you mind if I’m…”
“Well, as long as you want to, I'm honoured to be your first.”
“It’s just,” he sighed. “I kinda...  I don’t?”
Tristan’s face fell, becoming unsure of his partner’s motives yet again.
“Oh.  Sorry.  I guess I thought you were into it.”
Tristan began to climb off of Miles, when he was stopped by a hand on his
wrist.
“No, I mean, I do, but… not yet.”
“You mean you’re not ready?”
“I, I guess, yeah.  Is that okay?”
This was one of the rare times Tristan had seen Miles anxious.  It was painful
for Tristan; stirring up the protective quality that he’d only ever noticed
traces of before. Miles had always been the one to defend him and encourage
him, but now it was Tristan’s turn.
The blond squeezed his boyfriend's hand supportively.
“Miles, look at me.”
Hesitantly, the brunet met his eye.
“Of course it’s okay.  I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable
with.”
Hearing that, Miles relaxed and gave a grateful smile, playing with Tristan’s
long, slender fingers.
“I’m sorry for assuming.  I should know better.”
“Hey, don’t worry.  Everyone thinks I’m, I don’t know, Tiger Woods or
something.”
“But I’m not everyone;  I’m your boyfriend!”
“Tris, chill,” Miles laughed. “You’re right, you are different.  I wouldn’t
have told anyone else.”
“Really?”
“Not even Maya, or Frankie or Winston.”
‘Not even Maya'. The words rung out in Tristan’s mind and he fought to replace
a smirk with a caring smile.
“Okay, well, don’t worry about me.”  He placed his hands flat against Miles’
chest.  “I’m perfectly happy with what we have.  You know that, right?  I’m
happy just sitting next to you watching movies if that’s what you want.”
“Thanks, Tris,” he replied.  “I uh… I’m happy too.”
*kissy kissy*
“So, what now?”
***** ohhhh my god *****
Chapter Summary
     ok so this one uses some material from the last chapter bc –
     actually, i don't remember why i ever decided to build on it but the
     tenses are messy and it's imperfect but that's why i'm putting it
     here. we cool?
     set as if they got back together after champagne supernova but before
     zoë/miles round 2
Miles asks, “Are you sure you want to… be together again so soon?”
“Hm, what happened to your foul mouth?”
“Fuck off.”
“Ha, ha.  But… Why do you say that?”
“I just thought it might… take some time to build up trust again?”
“Well,” Tristan began trailing his fingers up Miles’ thigh, “I think sex is
good practice, don’t you?  But –” he removed his hand suddenly, teasingly, “If
you want to wait that’s fine.”
“Tris, of course I don’t want to wait, I’ve missed you like crazy.  I just
assumed you would.”
“You know you’re very bad at assuming you know what’s best for me.”
Miles looked at his hands. “Right.”
There’s a silence, then Tristan speaks again.
“Do you think we should wait?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t want to.  I haven’t slept with anyone else.”
Miles replies hastily – “I haven’t either”
Tristan gives a small satisfied smile and asked, “Do you think… will waiting
make it better or just get our expectations too high?”
“All I know is it always felt right with you.  And I remember – this is so
cheesy but – I remember thinking it always would feel right.”
“Yeah?”  Tristan had replied in a voice so soft, Miles wasn’t sure he’d even
said it at all.
“Yeah.  Because it was you.”
“Stop, you’re going to make me cry,” he joked.
“I mean it.  Just seeing you… you’re breathtaking, you know that?  I get chills
just thinking about you.”
“Miles, you sure know how to charm a guy…”
Miles jumps Tristan, kissing him passionately cupping the sides of his face or
whatever idk.
“Are you ever going to believe me?”
“I - Miles, it’s not that simple.”
Miles slumped back against the back of the couch.  “I know.  It’s just so
unfair.  You don’t deserve what I did.”
“We’ll get through it.

so then they’re all YAS LET’S DO THE DIDDLY and they makin out and shit
“Tris, wait.”
Tristan immediately took his hands off of his boyfriend, hovering them a few
inches away from his body.
“You okay?”
“Uh.  Yeah, I just, I have to tell you something?”
Tristan studied him, puzzled, until Miles drew in a deep breath.
“There’s… I did something...” Miles trailed off, looking to the side in
apprehension.
Tristan noted Miles’ unease, swallowing down fears of Miles’ plans to get Maya
back and wind up his father.
“It appears that I got my dick pierced?”  The brunet winced.
Tristan visibly relaxed.  “Oh.  Is that it?”
“You’re not mad?”
“No, why would I be?”
“I… guess… I don’t know.”
This was one of the rare times Tristan had seen Miles anxious.  It was painful
for Tristan; stirring up the protective quality that always made his heart ache
for his boyfriend.
Tristan squeezed the brunet’s hand to reassure him, more affectionate for the
relief he felt knowing the real reason behind Miles’ evasion.
“Miles, if that’s what you’re into, it’s fine with me.”
Hastily, the brunet clarified, “No, no, I didn’t mean to, I was drunk.”
“You were drunk.” Tristan repeated slowly.
“Very.  I don’t remember it.  I just kept it because I didn't know if it was
okay to take it out.”
Tristan stifled a laugh. “Wait, was this – was this the night you and Zig were
handcuffed?”
“Yyyeah, how’d you know?”
“Maya told me he’d been making some weird sounds in the shower, and not the
kind you’d expect.”
“Oh my god.”  Miles pinched the bridge of his nose. “What if he remembers?”
Tristan laughed softly, then teased, “Then I’ll be very jealous.”
“Shit.  Tris, what if I… what if we…”
Tristan’s face fell at the thought of Miles being with someone else. Shaking
his head to clear the fog forming in his mind, ???????????? he tried to be
sensible and remember Zig was super straight or idk something??? i hate this
sentence
“Uh, right, well.  You could ask him, if you want.  Maybe check your credit
card statements to see if you bought anything else?  But I doubt you would have
done anything.  His masculinity is way too fragile.”
It took a second for Miles to process the situation, remembering abruptly to
respond with a nod.
“Yeah.  Yeah, that’s...  Yeah.  I'll get tested anyway; s'probably best.”
A moment of silence passed, not an awkward silence but a time of comprehension
and processing ????????? i hate this sentence too
“I’m sorry.” Miles blurted out.
“We don’t even know that you did anything.  And besides, we weren’t together.”
“I uh,” Miles sighed. “I think I should go.”
“Hold on,” Tristan caught Miles’ wrist as he started off to collect his
belongings.  Miles looked at their hands, feeling the beginnings of a smile at
how they always seemed to be telling the other to wait so they could reassure
them.  He looked so cute perched on the edge of the couch with one leg crossed
underneath him.
“If you did, I forgive you,” Tristan offered, knowing.
idk what comes after this i feel like it would be too awkward and miles would
just leave lmao
***** a slap happens in this one and i am angsty about it *****
Chapter Summary
     disordered eating cw, physical violence cw
Triles have been back together for two weeks. Hanging at Tristan’s house, Miles
has found a notebook on Tristan’s desk with a pen marking his page.  Curious,
he opens it, because he’s never been very concerned with peoples’ privacy
(Winston liking Zoë, Tris wanting to keep their relationship secret). It’s
clearly a food diary, and Tris hasn’t been eating much. He stands there in
shock, feeling his stomach drop, sick with worry.
 
===============================================================================
 
“What are you doing?”
(Miles whips around, more concerned than deer-in-headlights-y.  important note:
this whole scene miles never looks at tristan’s body just his eyes
(Tris grabs the book)
(uncertain) “You shouldn’t have read that.” *stuffs it in a drawer*
“Tris, you could die.”
“I know my limits. I’m not going to die.”
“Fine, then, your organs will shut down and you’ll be… tired, and weak, and -”
“I stop for one day, I gain eleven pounds and it doesn’t come off for six
weeks.  I’m finally happy with how I look.  I can wear what I want, I’m
comfortable.  No one looks at me like they’re disgusted anymore.”
“You don’t seem happy.” 
(spat) “You don’t know shit.”
(resolved to stay calm) “This isn’t you. You don’t mean this.”
“Don’t you dare.” (monotone, fucking scary. similar to the way Miles said “I
can’t believe you’d do this to me” because parallels af)
 “Tris, no, I’m not trying t–”
“I don’t care what you’re trying to do; I’m not going to let you do it.  This
stays between us.”
“No.  No!  I – I can’t just pretend you don’t need help!”
“You’re really going to do this now?  After I justgave you a second chance. 
Huh.  I knew it.”
“Knew what, that I care about you?”
“Like I even believe that?”
(helpless) “Tris, I don’t know what to do.”
silence then (emotionless) “Get out.”
(miles doesn’t move)
“Leave.”
“Tris, I know it’s hard –”
“I’m notmentally ill.  This is how I stay healthy.”
“You don’t have to be defensive –”
“And you don’t have to be in my house get the fuckout!”
“No!”

(here be the rumoured slap)
(Miles is quiet, staring at the floor, then, still quietly) “I’m going to go
help your mom with dinner.”
(same way he said “this seat is saved… for… not you”, also staring at the
floor) “Don’t tell her.”
“I won’t.”
 (he goes to the bathroom first, to calm down before he panics)
===============================================================================
(Miles walks to the kitchen, checks the slap mark in his phone and decides it’s
fine.)
“Hey.” (smiles at mama milligan) (how tf do you punctuate ‘hey’ with a smile
but not excited)
“Hi! What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering if I could do anything to help.  Or, insisting.”
“Oh!  Well, that’s very sweet of you.  Would you mind peeling these carrots for
me?”
“Sure.” (he begins to peel le carrots)
“So what’s Tristan up to?  Surely he’d rather you two be spending time
together?”
“He just, ah, said I should have some bonding time with you.  You know, swap
embarrassing stories…”
(wanting to believe him) “Uh-huh.”
“And he knows I like to… help.  I grew up pretty spoilt and I hate to seem
ungrateful.  So.”
===============================================================================
 
(So then later he’s stirring a pot or some shit and tris comes into the doorway
and, again staring at the goddamn floor he sorta quietly murmurs) “Miles.”
(Miles looks up)
“Mom, can I borrow him?”
“Of course.”
(they go sit on a couch or sth . i headcanon that tristan’s room is upstairs
and that’s too far to bother going. i have this whole floor plan in my head but
i have no idea whose house it was based on??? like u know how it’s usually a
place you’ve been before but idk where i got this house idea)
“I’m so sorry.  That was awful of me.”
“It’s okay.  I understand.”
“That was the worst thing I could have done,  I can’t believe –”
“I forgive you.”
“(half joking) That’s too easy. I have a lot more apologising to do.”
(also half joking) “Can it wait?” (pause) “I’m… worried about you, Tris.”
“It feels like… I’m just being healthy.  It doesn’t feel like I’m crazy.”
“You’re not.”
“I don’t know.”
“You’renot.” (pause) “But we need to tell your parents.”
(quickly but calmly) “– No.”
“I’m not going to do it.  But you need to.”
(silence)
“I’m really scared, Miles.”
(takes his hand) “I know.”
(tris just sits there looking angsty because good lord i want some angsty
tristan shots)
“Will you come with me?”
“You want to do it now?”
“I might as well.  I’m only going to put it off, and, you’re here now so…”
===============================================================================
 
so Tris rocks up at the kitchen holding Miles’ hand and after a reassuring nod
from Miles steps forward letting go of the hand
“Mom I need to talk to you?”
(she dries her hands on a towel or something equally cliche) “What is it
honey?”
“I um (glances at Miles) I haven’t been eating well?  And I’ve been exercising
too much and – counting calories and obsessing over my weight and it’s – we…
think I might still… have an eating disorder.”
“Oh, Tristan.” (hugs him super tight and miles is relieved and tris is boutta
cry)
“I’m sorry, mom.”
“What are you talking about? It’s not your fault.”
“Fixing me is going to cost a fortune and stress everyone out and I –”
“You stop right there, young man. No son of mine will go without treatment when
they’re unwell.”  “Now you let me know how much you feel you can eat.  We won’t
make it a big deal, we won’t watch you like hawks, we’ll just check in –”
(quickly) “– I feel like you and dad are too busy arguing to notice anything I
do.  (pause, then a fast ramble) Sorry, those were nice things you were saying
and that was exactly I needed to hear but while we were on the subject of
problems and you were being nice I thought I should mention it. And it’s not
your fault, I just felt alone and for a while I didn’t have any friends and um
I had sex with a teacher? But he got fired and he doesn’t talk to me anymore.
And then I was sleeping around and I thought I had chlamydia because I was
scared to go to a doctor but I didn't actually. (deep breath) That’s it, that’s
everything.”
(Tris’ mom is stunned af)
Miles: “Hhhhhow about we just press pause on this whole thing and, pick it up
after dinner?”
(Tris looks at his mom pleading and she nods with very little coordination so
it’s more like a weird jerky movement lmao).
“Okay.  Tristan, could you set the table?  Miles, do you know where the plates
are?”
(then they’re at the table and tris tries to eat more than usual but it’s still
not much but no one makes a big deal out of it and like someone mentions the
word thin and then realises and goes oh shit and it’s awkward bc now everyone’s
noticed but they move on and it’s fine)
(and they have a nice dinner and laugh and tell embarrassing stories about each
other and everyone lived happily ever after)
***** Chapter 30 *****
Chapter Summary
     gay gayg agyagyagyagyga
"God, it's almost nine. I have to get home before curfew."
"What? Just stay another hour. I haven't seen you all week!"
"I can't. His house, his rules."
"Why do you let your dad control you like that?"
"Because he's been a good parent to me and I respect him."
"Do you let him pick your outfits too?"
"My dad cares about my well-being."
*Miles is all 'wELL THEN'*
 
"I didn't mean that, you know I didn't mean it.  I'm sorry, honey.  Please sit
down, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, then why'd you say it?"
"I don't know, I wasn't thinking.  It was selfish and cruel, and I'm sorry."
"Don't you have to go home?" (coldly)
"Not until we sort this out.  Miles, you aremore important to me than curfew."
 
"Oh, I am, huh?  Am I more important than going shopping with Zoë?  Or student
council or sleepovers with Maya?  What about Hunter?  You got lunch with him
yesterday but I guess my brother takes precedence over the quote ‘love of your
life'."
 
A look of understanding washes over Tristan's face. But when I break it I get
grounded so I can’t see you
 
"Student council and friends take maintenance.  And so do you but I… haven't
been a very good friend lately so I'm trying to work on that.  I'm sorry about
what I said.  And I'm sorry that we haven't spent time together in a while. 
But I came over tonight, didn't I?  I made time for you.  I’ve missed you too."
 
Miles scoffs.
 
"Hey, I know it's been tough on you.  That's why I put that note in your locker
yesterday.  I can't be perfect and wecan't be perfect all the time.  That's
just how life is."
"I know."
"I know you know.  Just... I have commitments that I can't break and sometimes
things come up but I thought we'd be okay.  I thought you'd understand and be
patient until things clear up."
 
"Now I'm the bad guy.  Great."
"No, no, I didn't mean to sound like that.  I'm just trying to say... we're
stronger than that.  You know I love you and I love spending time with you."
 
*pulls him down to the couch and wraps arms around his waist like the fucking
CUTIE PIES THEY ARE*
 
"I miss you every second I'm not with you but there are other people in my
life, and I need them, and they need me.  Please just give me some room to move
here.  I promise I'll make it up to you soon.  Honey, I promise."
"You can't promise that.  'Things come up', right?"
"Miles, you're my favourite person to spend time with.  You're not something I
schedule in like rehearsals and study groups.  Don't you get it?  My calendar
is all you by default, and everything else just cuts into my time with you."
"Yeah?" (kinda meek but also Milesy unsureness)
"Yeah." (affectionate tiny laugh thing)
 
*soft kissy warm kissy little ball of schmoop*
 
"You should go."
"I'm sorry."
"S'okay.  I understand."
(touched) "I love you."
"I love you too, Tris."
 
With one final squeeze of his hand, Tristan headed for the door, but had one
last thing to say.
“See if you can ‘accidentally’ drop by tomorrow at six.  If you can promiseall
we’ll do is study, we can have two whole hours to ourselves,” he tempted.
“I’ll be there.”
Miles watched through the window as his boyfriend walked to his car.  Tristan
retrieved his phone ?????????????
“Dad?  Hey, I might be a few minutes late home; Miles and I had to talk
something over just as I was leaving...  I know, I’m so sorry...  Yes, I still
lovehim - I’m not getting rid of your ‘third son’ anytime soon.”
 
(unlocking his car and opening the door) “Yeah.  I will.  Love you.”
 
When Tristan was alone in his car ?????? he hung up and took a deep breath and
gripped his  hair and started to cry adn then he did that thing where u semi-
gently hit yrself in the head a few times??????????? bc he’s like stressed and
feels super awful that he can’t juggle everything so he just sorta cries into
the steering wheel and then miles knocks on his window and he’s like HUWHAAAH
*wipes tears away*
 
“What are you doing out here?”
“I love you.  And I’ll wait for you.  I don’t care how long the line for you
is, I’ll be in it.”
“But what if it’s really long?”
“Good things come to those who wait, right?”
“Do you think - I mean, I’ve made a lot of choices that take me away from you. 
I guess, what I’m asking is… do you blame me for that?”
“Says the one actually achieving things.”
“Miles.”
“No, I don’t blame you.  I’m happy you’re doing all these things for yourself
and for your future.  I’m not so happy about you being stressed, but I don’t
want to be a part of that.  I’m going to be patient, like you said.  I’m going
to be whatever you need, whenever you need it.”
“Thank you.”
*kissy kissy smoochy doodley doo*
“Please don’t cry while you’re driving.”
Tristan laughs through his FUCKING CASCADING TEARS THEY JUST WON’T STOP HE’S
JUST BOTTLED UP SO MANY GODDAMN TEARS and says “I’ll try not to.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
an den he drive awey
***** Chapter 31 *****
Hot cocoa warming tris’ hands, he’s under a big blanket, looking up at miles
holding two DVDs, tris is smiling that he doesn’t care, he’s not just speaking
the words, he’s smiling them, just happy to be watching films with his Miles.
?????????////////// fuck it
After watching lazily through the whole credits, ?????????
“The movie’s over,” Tris whispers, as the menu screen music plays softly.
“I know.”
“Should we put another one on?”
“I… don’t want to move.”
*Tristan laughs and affectionately pats his face* ?????? “Me neither.”
“I do want to kiss you though.”
“Mm, so why don’t you?”
“Because,” Miles shifts around to face Tristan, “I don’t know if I’d be able to
keep it that innocent.”
“Who said you have to?”
“I always feel like I don’t have enough snuggling time with you. It’s the
perfect evening for it, no?”
“You can give me little kisses then.”
“Can I?”
“I’ll make sure you do.”
***** Chapter 32 *****
“You look a little shaken; do you wanna take it back?”
“No.  Never.”
(melty schmoopy kiss, Miles pulls away)
“I love you too.”
(melty schmoopy kiss, Tristan pulls away)
“Do you mean it?”
“Yes, of course, so much, I love you.” (squeezing his hand, looking serious
like genuine kinda thing??? Like that face ppl use when they need u to listen
and understand and believe this thing bc it’s serious)
(melty schmoopy kiss, Tristan pulls away)
“Then why didn’t you say it?”
“I wanted to, I was just… scared you wouldn’t feel the same.”
“Come on, I’ve loved you since the day we met.”
(melty schmoopy kiss, Miles pulls away)
“I don’t know when ‘you’re-a-great-friend’ love turned into ‘kiss-me-forever’
love but it did and you’re not kissing me.”
(melty schmoopy kiss, like Tristan’s apologising for the not kissing and it
kinda slows down on its own and stops?? lol)
“Well, that was a wild three minutes.”
(Miles laughs in agreement then goes back to le heavy breathing and heart eyes)
“Miles, could you…”
(Miles is question face tilty head what)
“Could you say it again?”
 “Tristan Milligan, I am head-over-heels in love with you.”
***** Chapter 33 *****
Chapter Summary
     from otpprompts: One day, Person A just breaks down crying in the
     bathroom. B finds them and stays with them for hours, eventually
     coaxing A out. Person B ends up hugging A and making them a cup of
     tea and cuddling them until they fall asleep.
after a minute of gently asking if he wanted to talk tris would ask if miles
wanted him to leave and he'd say something dumb like 'you should just leave me
forever' and tris would be like 'k I’m definitely staying until you stop saying
shit like that' even if he had important shit to do and he'd talk a little
about the lovely things he thought about miles when he was just getting to know
him and the wonderful things he knew about him now
and he'd listen to his lil sobbing fits and his heart would break for him every
time but he'd pretend to be calm and collected and speak softly about how he
knew for absolutely certain that he'd get through this and that he is a good
person at heart but the good things he tried to do all got messed up somewhere
out of his control and it's not his fault
"You can be good for people. You're good at heart. Even if you don't think you
are for whatever reason, even if you don’t think any of it counts because of
your own flawed reasoning, you still did all the good stuff, it was still valid
to everyone else. And it works the other way – a lot of the times you hurt
people, that I saw, at least, you were trying to do the right thing."
and miles would come out looking all puffy faced and ashamed of it and tris
would give him a quick soft kiss and look at him like he was the world and hold
his hand and they'd silently (which miles is grateful for) walk out and go
watch jimeoin or some shit and miles would laugh and tris would look at him and
smile and cuddle up
and then when it ends miles would pause it and apologise and tris would be like
'shut the fuck up??? don't' and miles would be like 'but you missed your thing'
and tris would be like 'there'll be other things' 'there'll be other
breakdowns' ‘okay, but i need you to know i'm here no matter what' 'ily' 'ily2'
*smoochies*
***** Chapter 34 *****
Chapter Summary
     let miles be pan
”Can I buy you a drink?”
*touches tristan's chest, he recoils, then tries to be polite*
“Sorry I can't, I'm taken.”
[tris to bartender, leaning over counter with a sparkling smile]
“Can I get two strawberry martinis please?”
“Yeah? Where is he?”
Tristan turns back to the guy, rolling his eyes.
“If you must know, he’s right over there.”
[he points. miles is dancing with zoë and her gf (who are dancing together so u
kno the dude can tell it’s little boy blue)]
“Mm, cute little twink. Why don't you bring him with you?”
*slightly offended and very grossed out* “I told you I'm not interested.”
“How do you know he isn’t?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
[nonchalant, perusing the bottles behind the bar or smelling his wine like a
pretentious asshole)
“He could be into sharing. You ever brought it up?”
“Listen, buddy. If that were something he wanted, I would know about it.”
“C'mon, at least tell me your name.”
Loudly, Tristan repeats, “I'm not interested!”
People turn and the dude slinks away, scowling at Tristan.
 
Tris pulls Miles aside later, interlocking their fingers and playing with them
while he gathers the courage to speak
“Am I enough for you?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I’ve just been thinking, you know… I’m the only guy you’ve ever been with. And
maybe you... miss girls. I shouldn’t stop you from… exploring other bodies or
whatever.”
“Tris, I…”
“You do, don’t you? God, I knew he was right.”
“Who was right? Never mind, look, I don’t think you understand how this works.
For me, I’m not into bodies.  I’m into people.  I’m into you.”
“So you don’t mind that I’m just me?”
“Just you?”
“Okay, okay… but…”
“You’re all I want. And I love making you feel good with whatever resources I
have available.  That’s it.”
“So… you don’t think anyone is hot?”
Miles chuckles. “Well, yeah, some people are objectively hot. I just usually
don’t want to bang people until I get to know them.”
***** Chapter 35 *****
Chapter Summary
     imagine if miles wrote tris a love letter like this
For me,
You are sunshine on winter-pale skin. You’re freshly cut grass, you’re
chocolate, you’re a good night’s sleep, you’re summer break and Christmas and
birthdays all at once.  You’re a thousand new favourite songs.  You’re the
sound of crunching leaves and the sound of crunching snow.  You’re the sound of
your deep breaths just before you fall asleep.  You’re the glances and snickers
we share in class.  You’re the delight I see on your face as you race to the
window when lightning crosses the sky.  You’re the fingertips you trace along
my thighs. You’re the way your eyes can smile on their own.  You’re the obscure
pop culture references that you have to explain to me. You’re the comfort of
your warm skin beside mine.
You’re the curve of your lips as you kiss me. You’re the exhilaration of your
hot breath against my skin.  You’re my racing heartbeat seeing you on opening
night.  You’re all the video games I don’t care that I lost when you kissed me.
You’re the quiet of being deep underwater and the roar of the water around me
when I come back up. You’re the favours I agree to without knowing what they
are.  You’re our hips brushing together.  You’re the days when you don’t style
your hair and it’s just as gorgeous. You’re a blank page with flames curling up
the sides.  You’re the way you fall asleep during movies and my arm goes numb
but you look so cute and peaceful I just can’t wake you up.  You’re dark
colours, dark humour, dark streaks I left on your skin. You’re the shy smiles
you don’t need to hide behind your hands.
You’re the fact that you can turn any mundanity into a fascinating story.
You’re the Broadway tunes you sing in the shower knowing just how much I love
your voice. You’re driving down a windy highway in summer with no destination,
no traffic and a mix CD of all my favourite bands. You’re the way you don’t
distract me because you know I’m writing.  You’re a firm grip on my hand, on my
neck, on my thigh. 
You’re all the best things in the world but better.
 
For you,
I hope I’m the taste of your tongue on mine. I hope I’m the crinkles by your
eyes when you smile. I hope I’m the way my heart stutters when you squeeze my
hand. I hope I’m the feeling of loud music blocking out everything but the
feeling of flying.  I hope I’m the way my breath catches when I see you all
dressed up.  I hope I’m the money you find in clothes you haven’t worn in
months.  I hope I’m the one that always knows when you need encouragement or a
kiss or silence.  I hope I’m a higher grade than you were expecting.  I hope
I’m flavoured lattes in winter.  I hope I’m fast wifi when you’re waiting for
something.  I hope I’m a sunrise that takes your breath away.
I hope I’m a long shower late at night. I hope I’m snuggles under a soft
blanket when it’s raining.  I hope I’m tight hugs and funny cat videos and … I
hope I’m nostalgia that doesn’t hurt and reminiscing with friends.  I hope I’m
homemade meals and watching movies snuggled under a soft blanket. I hope I’m
clouds that look like other things. I hope I’m whispers about our plans for
tomorrow as we drift off. I hope I’m a captivating film you never want to end. 
I hope I’m the feeling of being enough, being trusted, being understood, and so
much more. I hope I’m the feeling of temperate sand under your feet and a cool
bottle of water in your hand. I hope I’m my skin under your teeth as your
cravings are satiated, and waking up the next morning having slept well. I hope
I’m the smell of your hair dye, or of old books, or of pine trees ready for
decoration. I hope I’m the feeling of your bare skin against mine while you
catch your breath. I hope I’m cute new clothes and your favourite cologne. I
hope I’m soft blankets and cuddles and hot chocolate in front of a fire.I hope
I’m passionate lovemaking that drives you wild and satisfies you, and when it’s
over you smile for the longest time. I hope I’m the feeling of taking a perfect
selfie, and posting it to a positive response. I hope I’m standing ovations and
good ratings, recognition for how hard I know you work.
 
I hope I’m all the best things in the world but better.
***** Chapter 36 *****
Chapter Summary
     brrrring brrrring i'm trash
“Hey Tris!”
“Hey - can I stay with you tonight?”
“Yeah, sure, of course.  Something wrong?”
“Thank you, so much.  It’s really fine; I just need somewhere to crash for a
night.  I’ll see you soon.”
 
Miles opens the door with a grin.
“I’m sorry to spring this on you.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’re always welcome at Casa de Hollingsworth.”
“Thanks.  I just needed somewhere I felt safe.”
Miles’ face fell. “Oh.  Are your parents – like, getting violent?”
“No, no, it’s not like that.  It’s just more stressful at home, and I can’t
focus on my homework or my lines.”
“Ah, well, I can’t guarantee you’ll be able to focus with me here…”
Tristan gives him a look (DESCRIBE LOOK)
“I’m kidding.  I’ll keep quiet for you.”
“Thank you. *takes his hand setting down his bag *
“Thought you would have picked Maya though.”
“Well, with Zig still there and all the cello playing… plus they’ve got, like,
zero space for me.”
“Ah, so it’s my mansionyou were after.”
“No,” he laughed ??? “It’s really not that. I don’t know.  It’s you, I guess.
You don’t keep me on my toes all the time.  I can like, totally relax around
you.”
Miles is glad. “Just to be clear, I’m not like, expecting anything to happen
tonight.”
“Is it bad that I didn’t even think of that?”
Miles grinned and shook his head.  “Come on.  Let’s get working.”
“You’re doing homework too?” Tristan asked as he retrieved his textbooks.
“Well, I’m going to feel bad if you’re doing tedious work and I’m ignoring
mine.”
 “You don’t have to.  It’s your room;  I’ll just be in the corner.”
“Uhh, no you won’t.  You’ll be up here with me, where it’s comfortable.” Miles
leads Tristan to his bed where he sits down.
Tristan begins to argue but Miles interrupts.
“You’re my boyfriend!  You get to share my space whenever you want.”  Miles
caps the sentiment off with a light tap to Tristan’s nose, making him smile.
“Are you sure?  I really don’t want to be a bother.”
“This conversation is a bother.”
 
“Well… maybe just one kiss…”
M: “No, come on.  You know that’ll only lead to a three hour make out.”
“Fiiiine.”
Then Tristan jumped forward and pecked Miles’ lips or something id kjust like
and thehn he pretends nothing happened and miles says something and he’s all
“it was worth it though”
 
and then there’s some fluffy intermittent moments where they rest on each
other’s shoulders and absent mindedly play with their hair and tris is mouthing
his lines and miles watches him for like  a year until he goes “fuck were you
watching me the whole time”
***** Chapter 37 *****
Chapter Summary
     kinky, consent dialogue, just myriad sex scenes (unfinished as usual.
     that's the deal here) bc ocd makes it really hard for me to just
     delete bad things sorry u have to see this
“No, no no, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!”
“You want me to keep going?”
“Yes, god, please!”
“You gonna go silent on me again?”
“No, I’m not, I promise-”
Tristan drags one fingertip along the length of his partner’s cock. Miles
didn’t catch the glint in his eye but heard it in his voice:
“What are you going to do for me, Miles?
“I – ah – I’m gonna moan –“
“Mm?” (spurring to continue)
“I’m gonna moan, I’m gonna scream for you,” Miles’ mouth fell open then,
because Tristan’s other hand had brushed over his nipple, and after a second he
remembered to let out the groan he’d been trying so hard to  prevent.
“Yeah? You gonna beg?”
“Please, Tris, touch me…”
“I am touching you.”
“More, moremoremore please more,” Miles pleaded.
“Like this?”
“Ahh! Yes, thank you, thank you, oh fuck, so good...”
 
===============================================================================
 
T: “You’d like that, huh? Want someone to walk in and see what I do to you?”
“… Well, actually, no, that’s not very hot, honestly.”
Tristan stills momentarily, then continues.
“Right, sorry.  I feel the same, actually.  I guess I’m not very good at dirty
talk.”
“You don’t have to be, you know,” Miles turns his head into his shoulder in an
attempt to look back toward Tristan.  “I like you for you.”
“Awh.  That’s sweet.”
“You’re sweet.”
“No, you’re sweet.”
Miles just laughs, shaking his head at his lover and gripping the edge of the
table at a particularly hard thrust.
“Ah, you’re so deep,” Miles groans, reaching an arm backward to touch the hand
Tristan had fixed to his hip.
“Yeah?  You’re taking all of me.”
Tristan can’t see how Miles bites his lip to hide a smile at the thought.
“But that’s not exactly hard.  I mean, I’m hard, but… never mind.”
Miles chuckled again, feeling a rush of fondness for the boy, prompting him to
stand up and twist around to face Tristan???
“I wanna try something else.  That okay?”
“Uh, depends what it is.”
“Right.  Uh, just, sit down over here.” Miles gestured to the bed and Tristan
complied.
“So what are w-mmh!” Miles silenced him with a peck on his lips, and settled
himself over Tristan’s hips.
“Ooh, I think I’m gonna like this,” Tristan grinned.
“I wanna see you. I wanna… gaze into your eyes or whatever.  I wanna be the one
that does the hard work.”
Miles SITS ON HIS DICK and awwwwwww they make love and it'ss so  cute cutE CUTE
OS CUTE
===============================================================================
“Where are we going?”
Miles leads him to a white door in a part of the mansion he had never seen
before or sth
Guides him inside and locks the door behind them, spinning on his heel
“I figured this bed deserves to see some action” (describe bed as rly nice)
“Miles, this is kind of...”
“Kind of what?” he prompts
“Not sexy.”
“Oh, no?” (miles steps forward and places his hands on tristan's waist.
(whispered next to his ear as he draws tristan's body closer)
“Then I guess I'll have to make up for that.”
Miles kisses slowly softly along his neck and jaw, trying to entice his
boyfriend, who wasn’t having any of it.
"When you said you had something exciting planned I was thinking more along the
lines of melted chocolate, not defiling your parents' bed.”
===============================================================================
 
ok which would happen first: miles wears a mistletoe shirt implying tris has to
suck his dick, or tris puts mistletoe up in a hallway they use a lot

i think tris loves christmas and puts christmas stuff up on like november first
and takes it down in march so he would do that first

and. imagine the kisses

miles would get up specifically to meet him under the mistletoe

and then tris would pretend to be annoyed but he can't help smiling

and miles is flirty with his eyes and pulls him close and waits another moment
to be annoying and then the sweetest kiss you ever saw

so sweet. so gorgeous. so much love and respect and comfort in that kiss

and neither one wants to make the first move to make it sexual so they just
kiss like that for like two entire minutes, and it just feels so nice and good
and warm and right
===============================================================================
now idk about male bathroom etiquette but i'm really into the image of tristan
in that weird floral shirt from the promos standing at a urinal peeing his
heart out when miles, his ex and arch enemy, walks in and sees his dick for the
first time :)
he stops peeing bc shock and miles turns away awkwardly and tris can't start
peeing again bc he's so uncomfortable :)
eventually tris says 'can you leave' and miles is like 'i have to pee' :)
so tris does this exasperated sigh and for a while they're both kinda like
'what do' :)
then miles is just like ok fuck it and walks over and whips his dick out too
and just pees without a care in the world :)
and tris is still standing there halfway through peeing still holding his dick
feeling unbearably awkward right :)
and miles is like 'at least you're bigger than me' and tristan refuses to look
:)
and miles tucks himself back in and walks up to him ok :)
and he puts his hand on the far side of tristan's neck and tris jerks away like
??? the fuck you doing??!!!! and miles just holds his neck again :)
and he presses his lips to the closer side of tristan's neck :)
and he doesn't respond or move or even blink :)
he's just praying no one walks in on this :)
but miles starts kissing softly up to his jaw :)
and tristan's adam's apple is bobbing like do i wanna growl at him or let out a
high pitched moan but at the same time his heart is racing and he needs to pee
and he's angry and miles' thumb is caressing his skin and their lips are
getting closer and there's all these thoughts and sensations until miles
whispers 'let go' and he does :)
===============================================================================
After a nice date:
Miles unlocked the door and let Tristan past.  Once the door was closed behind
them, Miles turned to discover Tristan wearing a lustful expression as he
shoved his partner back against it with a hand on his chest.
"From this second on you will do exactly what I say when I say it. 
Understand?"
Miles exhaled shakily, instantly weak at the raven haired boy's sudden change
in demeanour.
"God, yes."
Tristan gripped the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt and nipped at his bottom
lip before commanding, "Bedroom."
---
“On your knees.”
Miles obeyed without protest to (find himself looking up at his boyfriend.)
(to watch his boyfriend’s eyes dutifully despite his peripheral vision
catching??? )
???
(Tristan whips the dick out)
“Suck.”
So Miles did. Starting off slow, he steadied the base of Tristan’s cock with
one hand and surrounded the tip like a kiss. ?
???
“All of it.”
(Miles is like :O ) Miles hadn’t had much success deep-throating in the past
but for this, he was determined to try.
???
“You’re a talented little whore, aren’t you?”
Miles stilled, taken aback by the ?
“Too much?”
“It’s fine,” Miles laughed.  He returned (his mouth???) to sucking
temporarily?? For a moment?? before Tristan pressed against his shoulders to
stop him??? Push him off/away??
“N-no, I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t even use that word.”
Miles sat back on his ((haunches???? Laurels? Legs?? I hate that word lmao ???
heels??)) put (?? Lowered??) his hands in his lap, looking up???.  “You always
get so worked up about this stuff.  I told you, it’s fine.  Now let me suck
your dick!”
“I don’t deserve a blowjob,”  Tristan sighed dramatically, sinking down onto
Miles’ bed.
“I was just shocked to hear you talk like that.  To be honest, I… I really
liked it.”
(tris does something else grumbly or w/e)
“Okay,” Miles said slowly, “Well, what if I told you I wanted to suck you off?”
“Come on.  No one actually likes giving blow jobs.”
“I do.  Because I get to watch you.  I get to please you...  Sir.”  He added
uncertainly, delighted?? to find that Tristan’s dejected expression hardened.
“Take off your clothes.”
A wicked smile crossed Miles’ face
“Yes, sir.”
Within seconds his shirt had flown across the room and he’d kicked his shoes
off with his jeans and boxers.  He stood in front of Tristan, who now sat on
the edge of the bed with his arms leaning backwards???? idk
“Touch yourself.  Slowly.”
Miles’ (gaze moved to tristan’s dick) as he brushed his fingertips up his
thighs and curled one hand around the base of his (cock ?? member?? Idk somene
said to pick one or  two and use them throughout), the other (?? Sliding
further up to scratch lightly over  the skin on his stomach/abdomen? run over
his nipples?? or something about thigh/balls). his canines sunk into his lower
lip, his eyes fell closed (move this to later??))
driving him mad
“Eyes on me.”
Miles struggled to obey, lids fluttering, cut off moans and hitched breaths
filling the room?? Air??
“Stop.” (he lays on the bed)
“Come here.”
Unsure of exactly what Tristan wanted, Miles settled himself across his legs
 
“Both.”
(Frottage happens lol) 
 
“Sir, may I cum?” strained
“Not until I do.”
“Hah – ahh – please sir, let me cum.”
Tristan waited a few moments, then, “Cum now."
 
“I didn’t get to kiss you that whole time.”
“I’m sure we can make other arrangements/figure something out/do something
about that/catch up/”
===============================================================================
Miles cries about something and tris comforts him and there are little kisses
and then bigger kisses then they’re fULL ON MAKIN OUT IWTH TONGUES FLYING
EVERYWHERE and miles is all
“We don’t have to do anything else.  It’s not fair.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t ask you to sleep with me out of guilt, or sympathy or whatever.  I
don’t want you to regret it.  Or feel like you have to.”
“I want to.”
Tristan began a tirade of slow pecks down Miles’ neck, lifting a knee over to
straddle Miles.
“Ah, yep, I can see that.”  The brunet pulled back, trying to put some distance
between them.
Tristan sighed and sat back on their legs.
“Miles, I would feel comfortable telling you if I wasn’t sure about something.”
“Yeah?”
“And it’s not sympathy.  I want to make you feel good all the time.  Not just
now.”
Affectionate pat on trissyboo’s face
"And I really want to let you, I'm just... I'm not feeling it right now."
"Okay.  That's totally okay," Tristan said softly and shuffled around to sit
next to Miles.
"Knowing about what happened to you… I’m scared I’ll hurt you.  I don’t want to
be like him.”
“I’m not the pushover I used to be.  You don’t have to worry about me not
speaking up.  I love talking.  You know me, I’ll talk about anything.”
Miles gives a soft laugh and looks Tristan in the eye.
[“Aren’t we just great together?”
“The greatest.” ]?
===============================================================================
 
Miles' hand brushes against Tristan's dick while they're in a bath tub because
aw
“I told you to behave yourself.” (laughter/amusement in his voice)
Miles grabs at Tristan’s hips and whirls him around while he loudly exclaims
“oh, what the fuck” until he’s set down side by side with Miles, connected by
skin…
“Just a kiss then.”
Tristan makes a point of only turning his head for a quick peck while his
counterpart? Kisses with his entire body, grabbing? Grasping? Gently at his
thigh and leaning into him, following his lips as they pull away.
“… one more.”
“No!” Tristan says loudly, unexpectedly harsh kinda thing. Out of place bc he
didn’t seem that annoyed before. ?
“Miles, I want you to prove to me that you can do this.”
“Do what?”
“Be with me in a non-sexual setting. Can’t we just…” (picks at nails or sth)
“Be together? Why does everything have to end with you wanting to fuck me?”
Realising, “Sorry.”
“It’s okay, I know you mean well. I know that’s how you express how you feel
about me. And usually, I love that. Just... sometimes I want more. 
(touching him somehow) "Tris, I’m so sorry –"
"You’re doing it again, you want to kiss me because you think it’ll help but it
won’t, okay? I need you to learn – “ he stops, realising he’s ranting, being
too harsh, starts again quieter. "People are still saying you’re –"
“What do you care about people?”
“They’re just trying to help.”
"They’re saying you’re just going through a phase and you just want to touch
another dick."
"No. No. It’s yours. Tris, it’s you."
Tris smiles and softens. "I have got to stop letting myself be alone with you."
...
“We’ll get cum all over us.”
“We’ll take a shower.”
===============================================================================
so miles comes to his room at 4:26am or whatever random time he was born and
sings just the words 'happy birthday mr president' all seductive and marilyn
monroe-like (because tris would be cultured like that and love it) and miles
gives him a sweet birthday kiss that turns into sultry and tris is still half
asleep with squinty eyes like 'mmm what are you doing here'
anyway miles gets under the covers with him and quickly scooches up close and
says 'birthday sex part one, so you can fall asleep again in my arms. after i
make you fall in love with your own body, of course.’
and tris is like lol what the fuck does that even mean
so miles whispers lemme show you.
and then he disappears under the covers, tris is practically shivering with
excitement, and then he feels it and moans way too loud. miles' hands aren't on
his dick tho. they're on his thighs. slowly caressing. he didn't know it could
feel that good. They’re just thighs, right? but there's something so intimate
about his boyfriend carefully, gently loving the body he works so hard to
change, and then he feels lips. chapped, wet from their kiss but he wouldn't
have it any other way, they're miles', those lips are miles' but no, they're
tristan's and only tristan's
he feels his heart squeeze so much he has to blink back tears, remind himself
it's just because it's his birthday, there's no need to get overwhelmed, this
isn't going to be a regular occurrence, but miles dragging his thumbs along his
thighs, touching his lips higher and higher... it feels like the skin didn't
even exist before.
===============================================================================
My body tenses up when he opens the door. I even cover myself, which is the
stupidest thing because we’ve already slept together countless times, plus the
steam fogs the glass up. He gives me a smile. It’s not so much a smile as it’s
a question. I’m nervous. I’ve never done this before. Has he done this before?
I nod
He strips down slowly, gracelessly. He slides the door open and steps in. Why
is this so different? He puts one hand on my waist, then the other. Oh, god.
“I can’t d-” but I stop there.
So he stops all movement of his hands and looks into my eyes in that way he
does, but I’m still nervous. I’m getting frustrated with myself now. I don’t
know what I want.
I don’t say anything else for a while. This. This is too much.
“D'ywant me to go?”
“Yes? No. No – I’m sorry. Stay. Just. Give me time to… get used to it.”
“‘Course. Sorry I didn’t ask.”
“If you had I wouldn’t have known how unreasonably scary this would be.”
So it’s up to me.
I don’t know what to do here so I just sort of continue washing my hair. He
doesn’t seem to mind, but he’s just watching me. Waiting for something.
“Can you go? God, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it is, I -”
“Don’t worry. It’s cool. This… doesn’t have to happen if you’re not cool with
it.”
This is weird tbh i should go to bed
===============================================================================
“Fuck, stopstopstop.”
He groans, throwing his head back against the headboard with a bang.
Tristan, on his right, begins to disapproval. “Hey, don’t –”
“I want it so bad, Tris.”
Rubbing soothing circles on ? “We’ll get there.”
?
“Oh, my god.”  “No, no, keep going. It’s m – ahhhhah – it’s my breathing. I’m
breathing like I’m having a panic attack.”
“So… if… can you stop?”
“I don’t know.  Like, yeah, but I don’t know how long for.” Still, determined,
Miles took in a deep breath and released it slowly through his parted lips. “J
– ah, just keep talking to me.”
Tristan tries to keep his smile comforting and small. “Good, you’re doing so
good, baby.”
“Hah - you can be excited; we figured it out.”
Tristan breaks – he squeals ? and kisses ? Miles
“I can’t guarantee anything –”
“I know.  But this is good; we can work with this.”
”You feel good?”
?
“Stop – fuck, damnit! Shit!” he cursed as Tristan withdrew. “I’m sorry, I
thought I had it.”
“Is it maybe that you want me to keep going? Is it a kinky thing?”
“No. I don’t know what it is.”
Curled up beside Miles, resting his hand on his abdomen as he had every other
time Miles had ended up having to jerk himself off.
“I still want you to cum tonight.” He presses his lips to Miles’ shoulder and
leaves them there, watching Miles’ clenched jaw and ? expression.
Miles Realisation thingy
“Hold on – gimme that hand.”
Miles places his right hand over Tristan’s and fits their fingers together,
curling them around his dick.
Tristan has to shift up on his elbow to balance.
“At least my arm is getting a workout,” Tristan offered.
“No, it’s not; I have to be in control,” Miles murmured, concentrating on
positioning Tristan’s hand just right.
(and later he's like 'why am I the one with a problem' (bc tris was abused))
puts his fingers between them so it’s tristan’s palm on his dick with miles’
palm on the back of tristan’s hand?? does that make sense?
and then he can cum and it's all fine bc he has dick rehab with tris three
times weekly and it's sweet
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 38 *****
Chapter Summary
     stopped caring so long ago y'all
Tristan calls Miles on a Saturday morning and says they need to talk.
“Why?
“I don’t want to do this over the phone; I want to see you.”
“What’s wrong, Tris?”
“Can I come over?”
(exasperated sigh) “I - I’ll be home at four after my psych appointment, is
that too late? Or should I cancel it?”
“No, no, don’t.  Just… yeah.”
“Tris, what is it?”
“I’ll tell you when I see you, okay?”
“You’re being evasive.  Am I going to need to talk to my psych about it? 
Because maybe I should reschedule.”
“We’ll both be fine, Miles.  Don’t worry.”
“Don’t worry?  Tris, I have panic disorder.”
Tristan is quiet for a moment.
“Tell me.”
“I’ve been accepted to a college in New York.  It’s not that far away, but
still.  I… I wanna go.  I’m going.”
The line goes dead.
Tris tries to call back and gets his voicemail.
He texts “I want to make this work please be safe I promise we can get through
this”
reply says “I’m fine. See you at four”
Tris sends Frankie to check on him two minutes later and he’s playing a video
game in the living room.
“I’m fine, now go away.”
“What?”
“I know Tristan sent you.  You don’t have to talk to me; I’m fine.”
“He didn’t ask me to talk to you.”
“Then don’t.”
He's still playing the same thing, with a half-eaten sandwich plate on the
table (he skipped seeing his psych? wouldn't tell tris if true), when Tris
arrives.
He knocks lightly(?), knowing Miles can hear, but is notably ignored.
He comes in anyway, and perches on a recliner.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Miles continues gaming.
“You gonna look at me?” Tristan tries to joke, but the tension is too weighty.
Miles is quiet.
“I want to talk about this.”
“I’m listening.”
t (quietly): yeah, kinda like how your mom was listening when u said u almost
relapsed
Miles turns to him, pausing his game without looking at his controller. “Don't
compare me to my parents. Don't you dare ever say I'm anything like them.”
Tristan looks at his hands (does he do this later too?) “It's the only way I
could get you to notice me.”
Miles: “Am I cheating on you?  Am I doing things that give you panic attacks?
Am I hitting you? No. I am nothing like them.”
“You’re being selfish.”  Tristan fires back.
“This is completely different.”
Tristan doesn’t believe this, but Miles “Yes, you're kinda right. I'm sorry.”
m: kinda?
t: okay I'm gonna go so you can cool off. lmk if you're ever ready to talk
about this.
“Ever?! I told you to come here!”
“And you wouldn't look at me when I did.”
“You're not gonna look at me for four years.  Probably longer.”
“I came here to discuss how I can make it easier on you.  I have to do this for
my career. It's the only way someone like me can make it in this industry and
even then it’s not a sure thing. I have to uproot my entire life for this and
it's going to suck for bothof us but I'm here because I care about you and I
want to figure out what I can do to make sure you know I've done my best.
Maybe you need to sleep on it, maybe you need me to go so you can think of what
you need from me.
No, don’t – don’t go.  I don’t want to fucking miss you any more than I have
to.
You’re the one who’s always saying you just want me to be happy, you want me to
do what’s right for me, you don’t want to be in the way of my career.  And I
get that this is hard for you, I know, and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to
sacrifice this opportunity.
But I need you on my side
and I don’t want us going into college and this internship, changing
environments and everything, I don’t want us to be dealing with a break-up too.
you remember drew torres? worked for my dad?
adam's brother?
yeah. his girlfriend went away to college and she completely changed. she came
home for thanksgiving a few months later and dumped him.
Look how much I’ve changed since we met, and I’m still in love with you.
“Miles, I knew I could never really give up on us from the moment I knew I
loved you.”
“And when was that?”
“When – (deep exhale) – after we had that big fight and I got you coffee and
you said that thing about how I shouldn't want you to be addicted to caffeine
or whatever... that coldness hurt so much I knew it couldn't be anything but
love. I needed you back, I needed to be allowed to love you.  From the second
you chose not to sit by me I was trying desperately to figure out how to get
you back.  And I played it off as nothing because I knew Winston wasn't a fan
of me but –” he swallows. “My heart fucking soared when I thought of that
stupid sushi picnic. I'm sorry, I'm not bringing this up to make you feel bad –
I just.”
“I asked.”
“Yeah.”
They sat in calm silence.
“And from that moment every thought of you, every time I tried to get you back
or let you go, every second of my life I went through it with the knowledge
that I loved you and that I couldn't stop.
I tried dating other people, I tried getting revenge on you, I spent months
trying to ignore you, hoping it would stop hurting but nothing made me stop
loving you.
And even after all of that, I wouldn't change it for the world.
“If this is how it had to be so that I can have you... even one minute of
knowing you love me back is enough to make up for all of it.”
“If you find yourself falling out of love with me –”
firmly, “I won’t.”
“But if.  I know things are going to be different and you'll have all these
cool new friends and I'll just be here, home, but... please make time for me.”
“I will, I promise.  I love spending time with you, and talking to you, and
loving you.  It feels good.  Even right now it hurts but I'm still happy in a
weird way.”
Miles can’t stop himself continuing, “And I know it's not my place to say this
considering all the things I've done but – if you meet anyone else please don't
lie to yourself and let it happen. Don't tell yourself it's nothing if it's
something.”
“I wouldn't but I will never forget those words you just said.”
“If one of us has to reschedule a skype date, 
“I'll text you all the time.  Even more than I do now.  And… we can meet in the
middle, find a motel every weekend and just be together.”
“Maybe not every weekend, yeah?  Bit stressful for both of us?”
“I'm going to miss you, Tris.  I'm going to miss your smile, and your voice,
and the way you smell and touching you and I don't know how I'm going to learn
to sleep without you.”
“You already do all the time.”
“I sleep better when I’m with you.”
Tris takes his hand and reminds him, “We still have all summer.  I won’t spend
a second away from you.”
“That’ll make it harder.”
…. “So what do we do?
M: I’m not the one giving up on us
T: I’m not either! I’m here, I’m asking you what you need, I’m trying my best,
babe.
 
t:you're gonna change too. you’ll meet new people at your internship. i'll
still be texting you all the time, and I'll call every night if you want me to.
we can meet in the middle on weekends - until you get too busy.
Just know that this determination, this wanting to make it work, the… intensity
of how I feel right now, I’m going to remember it and know that you are worth
making time for. And I’m not giving up on us.
Unless you want that.
Miles looks up, silent. “Why would you think I wanted that?”
“You don’t seem as sure as I do that we can make it work.”
“Tris, you’re not gonna have time for me.  These past two years you’ve been
busy with extra-curriculars, and study, and you keep telling me it’s just until
you get into college. And now you’re going to be hours away, across the fucking
border, you’ll probably have to get a part time job too because you won’t let
me help you –”
“I don’t want his dirty money.”
“And after you graduate, then what? You’ll probably already have had roles all
over the place, you’ll probably move to LA because you’re on fucking Vampire
Horror Story.  And not that you’ve asked me but I don’t want to move to the
US.”
“Did you want me to ask you?”
“No. I don’t know.”
“I knew you had this internship and you were really excited.”
“I – yeah.  I know… But if I want to see you, I can’t just text you and be
there in ten minutes.  We can’t meet up for coffee or sex, we have to drive six
hours and take our passports!”
Tristan is quiet for a moment looking at his hands. “I’m going.”
“I know.  I don’t want you not to.”
“I love you.” he manages through the lump in his throat.
“I love you too.”
“Do you not think we can work?”
“I think you’ll change your mind.  I think you’ll meet cool new people and
decide I’m not right for you anymore.”
***** Chapter 39 *****
tris pausing west drive bc miles wanted smoochies
miles running lines with tris and always tryna do the kiss scene and tris
saying babe can we do from page 53 and miles is like sure but the lines are
like 'i hate you stay away from me' and he can't say it lmao
triles being that gross couple always touching foreheads at their lockers
tris squeezing miles' hand for a sec while he walks by after he reads a new
piece to the class
Miles gets frisky at a dinner party and tris has to tell him to behave lmao
“’don't let the bedbugs bite’ ‘maybe i like biting ;)’ ”
I want tris to have a thing where if miles kisses or touches his neck at all
it's like instant boner so miles is just not allowed to put his arm around tris
in public if he doesn't have long sleeves on because tris will just jizz his
pants

On the plus side though if they're pressed for time miles just has to kiss his
neck and tris will be like 'uhnggf uck meee'
Also... tris and maya plan a romcom night and tris has to let miles down like
'babe... I'm sorry.. you're not invited' and he's just like fake sulking all
day so tris will kiss him and tell him how much he loves being with him
Miles and Tris lazily staying in bed until midday just smiling at each other
and saying the other is cute and miles traces tristan's hand with his
fingertips and tris slides his fingers between miles' and then they're holding
hands and smiling because they're holding hands and they're content
===============================================================================
Miles’ locker slammed just as he’d finished removing a notebook.
"What?  I – Tris, I have to get –"
"Oh, no.  You’re coming with me." Tristan grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and
confidently strode away, pulling an amused Miles behind him.
"Can I get some clarification as to what is happening right now?"
"Nope, it’s a surprise!”
===============================================================================
*miles drops to one knee and opens a ring box*
'Tris, w-'
'Yes! Yesyesyesyes!'
'Shut up, let me ask the question'
*tris composes himself* 
'Okay. Go.'
'Will you marry me?'
*tris screams and picks miles up and twirls him around lmao byeeeeeee
===============================================================================
 wait ok but imagine tris is a dancer at a queer club and miles goes in to
watch him sometimes and the customers tell him he's hotter on days when miles
is there bc he seems happier and has a sparkle in his eye or some cutesy shit
anyway he goes home to miles one day all nervous and says the club is doing a
new thing where they offer shots off the dancers' bodies and he wants miles'
opinion before he tells his boss whether he'll do it and he's like 'i'm pretty
much neutral i just want to know what you think' and miles is like 'what do you
think i'll say' and tris is like 'i think you'll lie and say you're okay with
it but you won't be and you'll end up resenting me' and miles is like 'no i
just don't want to be the one who decides what you can and can't do with your
body i don't want to make this decision for you' and they get frustrated with
each other like 'just say yes or no!' 'well you said yes first so you obviously
want to do it!' 'no i don't!' 'then don't do it!' 'i don't NOT want to do it
i'm just saying i want your input about this!'
and then miles gives him an angry attack hickey on his neck like 'i fucking
love you and i don't want anyone else touching you'
and he expects angry sex but actually tris is just plain mad because he has to
cover it up for the next 726257 years for work and miles is like 'fuck you're
right your job is just as important as me I'm sorry you should do the shot
thing' and then tris is all offended like 'excuse me it's not "as" important'
and miles gets all hurt like oh his job is MORE important than me ok and then
he sulks and
   1. he doesn't say anything and just feels shitty forever OR
   2. tris is like 'the fuck are you sulking about? do you WANT me to care more
      about my job than you?' and miles is like 'i'm not trying to reinforce it
      let's just drop this' and tris is like 'wait what no i was saying you're
      more important ugh for fuck's sake'
      and miles is like oh. and gets all shy like really? and tris has to
      reassure him and he's slightly annoyed but mostly it's endearing bc he
      loves any excuse to tell miles how he feels
===============================================================================
miles coming home n dropping his jacket on the arm of the couch where tris is
reading over a script for his progressive af sitcom role and miles walks off to
get a snack of carrot sticks and brie and tells him the dishwasher broke at
their investment property and tris is like 'oh shoot we'll have to use the
savings card' and they're so grown up and living in this lovely modern
apartment and miles sits next to tris and just cuddles up to him and lets him
go on with his lines bc he's a cutie and doesn't demand attention when he knows
tris is focused
 
 
***** Chapter 40 *****
Chapter Summary
     nsfw again
ok i was thinking like bc i super duper headcanon that miles likes tris to have
total control and being like completely immobile, hands held away from the
action, hips kept down, he can't do anything but moan or safeword. they have a
fuck ton of expensive bondage equipment lmao
k so imagine miles being super sweet on their anniversary and being doting and
kissy and super gentle touches on tristan's thighs and going slow and smiling
softly and being romantic and vanilla as fuck and almost teasing him doing
everything so slowly and sensually and finally he goes for tristan's dick but
tris is like 'wait... actually,' and asks to try all the bondage and miles is
internally like 'drat, I wanna be tied up! but if he wants it i want that
instead idk??'
tris is like 'i wanna try it; i should know what it's like, right?' and miles
is like... hm he's using the word should... maybe he doesn't really want
to?? so he's like *consent dialogue while stroking his like arm or knee or sth*
'also, you know, if you understand how it feels then you might not want to do
it the same way anymore'
'so it's horrible?'
'no omg. well. yeah. but that's half the point'
and they end up putting tris in the metal and ropes and ties idk what's
expensive bondage made of? chicken nuggets? and while that happens tris is
telling miles how he doesn't always have to do nice things for him on their
anniversary bc he's more tha made up for all the shit he did and they're equals
now and cheesy cheesy cheeeeese
and anyway so tris is like trying to thrash around bc he can't touch miles he
can't grab his hair or squeeze at his arms or do any of the things he wants to
do and he can't thrust his hips up or anything and it's hell and he loves it
and when he can't take it anymore he just says so and miles releases one of his
hands so he can reach down and touch however/whatever/whoever he wants while
miles finishes him off
moral of the story is tris learned how awesome and awful it is not to be able
to touch and he gets it and he never asks for it again just bc he knows miles
likes it way more than he does so but just never happened again but anyways
after that sometimes when tris has miles all tied down he holds his hand so he
can squeeze it and miles isn't sure whether that hinders or makes it soooo much
better
***** Chapter 41 *****
Chapter Summary
     parent triles gtg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tris and miles are married w three kids right n their middle kid is 6 and a
girly girl and her name is lyddie
and they have an older boy who's 8 and they have a younger kid idc about that
one
anyway they're all playing in the yard and the inside phone rings (because it's
2002 or sth idk just go with it) and tris goes inside and picks up
and it's the middle kid's friend's mom, who was like 'my kid ethan wanted me to
schedule a play date with your daughter lyddie' and tris is like sure and she's
like can i talk to your wife
and he's like 'oh i can get my partner miles if you want to speak to him?' and
he knocks on the window to get miles to come in
and she's like 'miles?! HIM?! sodomites how dare u let your child near mine'
and at this point tris is like wow yikes and goes 'if you want our children to
stop interacting I can try but -'
and she interrupts like 'oh you won't just try. we will both ensure our
children do not speak again, i don't care what you have to do to make it
happen' or sth
and he just loses it like 'before you rudely interrupted me, i was about to say
but i'm sure if he's had this hate bred into him he's probably not that much
fun to be around anyway'
and she starts yelling and he holds the phone away from him and whispers to
miles like 'fuck i should have held my tongue i almost feel bad now'
and then he tells her in his most genuine voice that he's sorry for insulting
her kid and he shouldn't have been so rude and whatever
and she's like 'you had better eradicate this horrific thing between our
children or so help me god' (they're literally just friends but anyways)
so she hangs up and he turns to miles like wow. how am i going to break it to
lyddie this is going to hurt her so much she talks about him all the time
and miles is like *sympathy face* 'aw babe' and gets real close to him and hugs
and like does that head kiss thing?? u know when they kiss the person's scalp
or neck or whatever's there when they hug?
ok so then tris goes outside and calls lyddie over to sit on the steps with him
while miles goes to help the other kids play or whatever it is kids do idk
they're a perfect family tho that's like an important point the kids never
fight and triles are great parents
and tris tells the kid about how the kid's mom said they couldn't hang out
anymore because she doesn't like when two men love each other
and she accepts is but like she's still mega sad 'but he was my best friend'
'I know, honey, I'm so sorry. but you can't say anything mean to ethan, you
just have to stay away from him from now on.'
she's like 'why? it's not fair'
'the world isn't fair sometimes. but if you're mean back, everyone'll think
you're just as bad as them. and they'll think you deserved for them to be mean
to you. you have to show them you're nice, and sometimes you can only do that
by not fighting back.'
she's totally composed tho she's like 'can i go to my room? i just wanna cry
for a bit'
and he's like 'are you sure? do you want me to send dad up?' (idk if the kids
call him miles or dad or something else)
'hmm, maybe in like ten minutes?'
he apologises again and watches her go upstairs and miles comes over to him
(tris is feeling super shitty at this point) and he's like 'i thought if we
were amazing parents they wouldn't get hurt. i was so stupid. maybe we
shouldn't have had kids.'
miles is like 'hey, don't say that' half comforting but also half offended
like, dude, our kids are ten feet away, seriously, do not say that
tris wipes his wet face because he's been crying too
miles reminds him that their kids are awesome and they're clearly awesome
parents
And tris is like *deep shaky breath trying to be positive* 'yeah and lyddie was
so mature for her age, right? like she totally got it when i told her to rise
above it. and instead of throwing a fit she just said she was going to her room
to cry.'
miles side hugs him and points to the other two like 'our kids are fine. better
than most, actually. those assholes, they're the ones hurting them. not us.'
'still. maybe it's our fault. we should have thought of this.'
and then miles is probably all cheesy like 'i would never have been this good a
parent without you' or some shit idk
***** Chapter 42 *****
Ok so get this
Tris has been recovering for the rest of the school year, Miles just had finals
and tris for a couple months has been doing senior year through a
correspondence program and will take another couple of years to get through it
but he's tryna be optimistic about it etc at least around miles but he still
breaks down about it all occasionally but usually he tries to save the
negativity for his mom because he doesn't wanna be depressing to miles poor
baby
Tris can talk a fair bit but still quite slowly and hasn't some trouble
enunciating certain sounds (and he can do facial expressions quite well and
think critically) but still is dependent on his parents to help him a lot and
also Miles when he comes over on some school days and weekends
So miles rocks up to Tristan's house a few days after finals (he had still been
visiting through finals but tris made him study if he came over lol) and tris
answers the door!!! standing!!! And miles is like hot damn you did it babe!!!
And tris' mom is so proud like he's practicing :) and miles offers to be leant
on while they go sit down and tris is like I think I'm ok
Miles is still doin that excited pride face where his eyes light up you know
the one
Anyway they go sit down and Miles gives him kissies because he must have worked
so hard on that but he doesn't baby him because Tris asked him not to a while
ago so he just kinda 'fuck I have seen you come so far and rarely let your
determination falter I love you with such intensity you are everything'
Tris just kinda sits there being held and fuckin relishing it like you know how
he was in the couch scene yeah he's loving that shit
But miles is like 'I uh I have to talk to you about something'
and tris is like. no. 'fuck you are not breaking up with me please don't do
this I fucking forgave you I tried so hard to be what you wanted I -'
Miles is all 'no it's not that please don't worry I just - ok I got accepted to
this summer writing program it's an intensive course for 40 days but I promise
I will never leave again after this'
Tris is like panicking because he thinks he needs miles to keep making progress
and tries to say he needs him etc
Miles is like if you really really need me to stay then I will but this is a
really good opportunity and I want you to take a couple days to think about it
before you ask me not to go
And tris is so broken about it like 40 days without miles holy shit???? He
would miss him so much and he needs him his voice is cracking when he says 'but
I don't want us to waste any more of our time together'
Miles keeps tryna remind him like they'd talk every day and he would spend as
much time as he could with him before it and then when he came home he would
never leave his side
And tris is like 'no you're right you deserve a break from me; I know I'm hard
to deal with'
Miles is immediately like bitch no 'I love spending time with you I'm so glad
to have you back I never wanna be anywhere else I love every part of you even
the parts you're struggling with wait no I didn't mean it like that I hate that
you're struggling I just love you even with all this I love you so much I'm
sorry I'm the cause of your unhappiness right now I shouldn't have ruined a
nice moment I'm so sorry I love you' schmoopy schmoop
So they're working on some of Tris' schoolwork later and cuddling and like Tris
is upset but he keeps it inside because he doesn't want miles to feel bad about
taking the opportunity but miles senses it and keeps reminding him it's only a
few weeks and they would text all the time and call and Skype and he would
think about him so much and miss him so much
Fast forward to Miles at the program (it's in Cali or New York or some shit)
and his roommate asks him to come out bowling with her and some friends she
made but he's skyping with Tris so he's like 'sorry I have plans but thanks for
thinking of me that's real nice' and tris is like 'you should go' and the
roommate heard and she says she's leaving in five, with or without him
Tris is like 'babe seriously you should go, make some friends' and miles is
like uh the fuck? 'No I wanna spend time with you' and tris is like 'I promise
I won't get jealous lol just go'
So Miles is like grumbling 'okay but I'm probably gonna text you the whole
time' and he makes friends and miraculously balances time with them with time
with tris and time working on projects for the course and manages to fly home
for a weekend and tris is fucking delighted because he had coordinated with his
mom to make it a surprise
And sometime after the visit home tris asks if miles is gonna go to college
somewhere else and he swears he's never leaving town again and tris is like
'but if Toronto colleges aren't good enough you shouldn't settle' and miles
just says he's adaptable and he got better grades at Degrassi than he ever did
at private schools anyway 'so why would expensive travel location schools
necessarily give better education' etc blah blah tris doesn't buy it but miles
means it
But yeah he comes home after it and spends so much time with Tris he literally
doesn't leave his house for like three days and it's so cute but tristan's mom
is like honey maybe you should go home and unpack from your trip? And miles is
like ok point taken sorry lmao and frankie's like telling him all the gossip he
missed filling him in on her summer
And hunter pretends he didn't miss him but gets mad at small things instead and
miles is like 'shit I really should have come home first I'm sorry hunter I
fucked up there I will spend more time with you but next time just talk to me
instead yeah?' and Hunter's like ya ur right ok fine
also on the first night of those three days, because Miles slept in Tristan's
bed, they start kissing and whatever and Tris starts crying because gOD he
wants to have sex SO BAD but he can't really do much yet and he's sorry because
he thinks Miles likes sex even more but Miles is like 'hey it's okay I don't
need sex I just want you to be happy and comfortable and take your time like
even if it never happens that's okay I don't want you to hurt yourself or push
yourself too far okay?'
And tris is like :') and kisses him so soft and he's crying because of the
frustration but also because Miles is so good to him sometimes and also like he
just came home and he had missed him for so long
Anyways, my queer children are so in love and so strong for each other and
supportive I love them goodnight
***** hhhhhhhhhhey i'm back *****
Chapter Summary
     ok so imagine miles' dad died, right
Triles drive to the funeral and Miles turns the car off and just sits there.
Tris waits for him to be ready, silently, bc he's good like that
Later, Miles gets up from the back row, and speaks at the funeral, and he
whispers to Frankie as he walks past that he promises he won't ruin it.
He says it was both their faults, they realised too late that they both needed
to change, he's grateful that he tried to work on things with Franks and
Hunter. He respected him. He knows he had better relationships with others here
today and he didn't come up here to drag him through the mud. He wants to thank
him for the good times and what he did for the community, for his school, for
his siblings.
He always provided for us financially. Intermittently disciplined them (which
gets some chuckles). He was charming and clever and stuck to what he believed.
For the press, he stayed calm when other people would have lost it. As a
politician he was good. As a father and a husband, he was working on it. He
made Miles who he is today and he likes who he is today.
and then he's like
"Dad, it's hard but... I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me too."
He goes and sits back down with Tris at the back, Tris takes his hand (he is
warm and the day is cold and Miles is like ugh you are warm I love) and looks
at him with soft pride and admiration
Frankie walks briskly down the aisle to sit by him and hug him. Hunter just
turns in his seat and gives a grateful nod. A few others are looking at him but
most are distracted by the slideshow of pictures of him and no one really cares
about Diana but she probably has friends, whatever
After the service Triles go sit in the reception, on a row of chairs along the
wall (avoiding being cornered). Tris holds M's hand firmly in his.
Miles is like, 'I'm sorry; I know this sucks for you.'
'For me?' Tristan looks out at the crowd. 'Forget me, I can't imagine what
you're going through right now.'
'Mostly just worried someone'll yell at me for bringing all that up.'
'I'm sure they won't do that.'
'You haven't noticed the weird looks in our direction?'
'They're probably just homophobic, babe, don't worry about it.'
Miles laughs, without mirth, and settles back in his chair.
'Yeah. We should make out, force 'em to confront the changing attitudes of the
new century.'
'I'm not making out with you at your abuser's funeral.'
'Eh, you'll make out with me anywhere else, what's the difference?' Miles says
it as a joke, but Tris shoots him a look anyway.
'Gee, tough crowd.'
'It's just... I know what he did, and I always believed every word you've said
about him, but every time I was actually in a room with him, he was...
personable. You know? He was nice and courteous and even though I was walking
on eggshells for fear of him I still felt like he genuinely wanted me not to.'
'Yeah, it's not 'cause he liked you - hi, Marcela. Tris, this is our
(housekeeper ?? Maid? Idk? spencer said it in 1323 i think) I don't think you
two have met.'
Tris greets her with a warm handshake and smile. 'I've eaten your meals a fair
few times though, I hope Miles has passed on my compliments?'
Marcela grins and says, 'He has indeed.'
Tris turns to Miles, beaming, pleasantly surprised.
'Miles, may I speak to you alone?'
'Ah, sure.'
'You... promised you wouldn't leave my side' Tris reminds him, having grabbed
his arm lmao
'Can I palm you off to Frankie for a minute?' (wyh does that sound dirty
shdfgsjsfh)
Tris looks out at the crowd again, seeing Frankie a good 20 metres away.
'Walk me over there?'
Miles smiles. 'Someday I'll have to teach you how to flip people off. I'll be
with you in a sec, Marcela.'

He walks Tris over to Frankie (she looks stunning, by the way) with purpose.
She's standing with Yael and Winston.
Tris explains the situation apologetically while we see Miles walk back to
Marcela.
she's like, 'What you said was beautiful.'
'I'm not too sure I agree?' he looks confused but amused
'I saw a lot happen in that house. I heard a lot more. Forgiving him is very
brave and very difficult. You really are growing into a fine young man.'
'I appreciate that, but I don't know if I really have forgiven him. I think I
might have just said it for other people because 'thanks for not screwing up
more' seemed a little off.'
'Even so. Saying that took a lot of guts. You could have told everything, but
you took the high road. That is enough, I think.'
Miles doesn't look at Marcela, chewing his lip for a moment, then turns to face
her.
'Thank you. That means a lot to me.'
She hugs him.
(Does she tell him Diana is drinking or sth lol idc we don't need a story for
her)
Miles goes back to fetch Tris but he and Yael are having an animated discussion
about Hunter's thinking face so Frankie is like, 'Miles, hey, we're going to
see the solicitor tomorrow at 2, see if he had a will.'
Turns out he left 8mil for them each in the estate and Diana got 2 (and the
jet) which she's secretly pissed about because like how is she gonna sell a
private jet, the fuck, but Frankie points out that 'at least nothing went to
Andrea?'
The four also got the house to share but Miles is like, 'bitch I'm moving out
lmao' and Frankie's like, 'Yeah, this house is gonna give me the heebie
jeebies.' and Hunter's quietly nodding and Diana's like, 'well can't we move
elsewhere so I can at least have the twins?' and Miles is like, 'ok listen if I
can have my own space with a kitchen and bathroom I'm golden'
and Diana's like, 'Will you eat dinner with us twice a week?' and Miles is
like, 'Ok deal' and she's like, 'Are you planning to move Tristan in?' and he's
like, 'He basically already lives with me wyd' so she's like, 'fair enough I
guess it'd be your house to do what you want with'
So they leave the solicitor's office and Miles is abt to text Tris to meet him
nearby but Tris was in a cafe adjacent so he's like surprise and Miles is like
aughagshxhs and hugs him like, 'absolutely fuck meetings I hate them' and Tris
is like, 'I know babe that's why I made sure to be here'
Anyways there's some extra af consent stuff about Miles not being dtf and he
says it's stress because they have to pack all their shit to style the house so
Tris is like, 'ok if there's even a sliver of doubt in either of our minds ever
we shouldn't do it and Miles is like, 'cool' and they just cuddle to sleep and
then for a few days they don't get an opportunity even though they're together
every day mansion hunting like they're not allowed in the house so they're at a
hotel but then Diana takes the twins out to lunch and Miles is like, 'Tris get
here so we can bang pleaseeeee' and Tris obviously does go bc it's been over a
week damn
So they find a huge house super close to Tristan's college of choice and
Frankie and Hunter changed schools for senior year (all of Degrassi hates them
let me live) but Diana won't let yael move in but yael secretly was glad she
didn't have to tell Hunter she didn't wanna move in anyway because Hunter is
messy af and she doesn't wanna deal with jizz stained sheets and empty crisp
wrappers like she just KNOWS she would be cleaning up after him and No Thanks
also she's busy tryna get into MIT and frankie's a single pringle but happy and
getting good grades and taking an interest in modern history and racism and
stuff
***** i found this on my celtx account lmao *****
Chapter Summary
     last year I was experimenting with script format for some ideas that
     didn't fit my usual style. i know this is overdirected and not
     perfectly formatted and also just plain weird just suspend your
     disbelief for a second ok
     tris (a bartender) and miles (had a bad day and wants to get smashed)
     have never met
INT. THE ALIBI ROOM
TRISTAN, beautiful angel, is taking notes on the bottles on
the counter then returning them to their places. MILES
enters, cautiously eyes the empty room before surrendering
and walking over to a bar stool opposite TRISTAN.
TRISTAN
Make it quick; I’m closing up in ten.
MILES
Give me a half dozen shots of vodka.
TRISTAN
Uh, are you sure?
MILES
Do I look like I’m not sure?
TRISTAN
(eyeing him with mild interest)
Suit yourself.
TRISTAN assembles four shot glasses on the counter and
reaches for the bottle.
MILES
Can’t count?
TRISTAN
(pouring)
Can’t afford a lawsuit.
MILES
Trust me, I can handle a few shots.
TRISTAN
And why would I "trust" someone I
just met?
MILES
Because I’ll tip you three hundred
if you keep me company.
TRISTAN
Wow. Very reputable. But I’ll take
it.
MILES
Fine, fine. I’ll buy you a drink,
then. We can get to know each
other.
TRISTAN
(scoffs)
I don’t drink while I’m working.
MILES
Said you were closing up.
TRISTAN
(fake pouting)
Aw, I’d have to save it ’til you left.
MILES
Three hundred doesn’t cut the
sarcasm?
TRISTAN
It’s my best feature.
MILES
I don’t know about that.
TRISTAN
Go on, compliment my charming good
looks.
MILES
(takes a shot, winces)
Alright, ah... you should be a
model?
TRISTAN
Weak but accurate.
INT. THE ALIBI ROOM
TRISTAN, beautiful angel, is leaning on the counter, which
is littered with now-empty shot glasses. MILES is still
seated across from him. The pair are recovering from a
bout of laughter, MILES swirling the last remaining full shot
glass.
TRISTAN
Why you drinking here tonight?
MILES
Dare.
TRISTAN
Okay, I dare you to tell me why
you’re drinking here tonight.
MILES
I said give me a fucking dare,
asshole.
TRISTAN
I told you my name.
MILES
Give me a fucking dare, Tristan.
TRISTAN
(without hesitation,
unreadable)
Kiss me.
MILES meets TRISTAN’S eye for a moment. MILES moves one
knee up on the bar stool to kiss TRISTAN, gripping his shirt
and leaning his other hand on the slightly sticky counter.
TRISTAN pauses before kissing back, hard, messy,
intoxicated. Suddenly, TRISTAN pulls away.
MILES
Shit.
TRISTAN
Not necessarily, but you’re drunk.
MILES
So are you.
TRISTAN
I’m not an easy fuck when I drink.
MILES
Who says I’m easy?
TRISTAN
What, you mean I’m special?
MILES
(sarcastic)
I’m falling for you, hard.
TRISTAN
(scoffs)
Fuck off.
MILES
Make me.
TRISTAN grabs MILES’ hair and yanks him forward with his
neck exposed.
TRISTAN
I’m sure I could make you do all
sorts of things.
MILES
(slightly choked)
Why don’t we start with putting
those hands to better use?
TRISTAN
(releases his grip, clears the counter)
I gotta clean up. And you should
leave.
MILES
You don’t want your three hundred?
TRISTAN stops moving glasses to lean his palms on the
counter and scoff.
TRISTAN
I’m not a hooker.
MILES
Who said you were?
TRISTAN
So are you gonna pay up or not?
MILES smirks at him for a long moment, then gets out his
wallet. He retrieves a wad of cash without counting it, then
holds it out to TRISTAN, who grabs at it. MILES pulls it out
of reach just in time.
MILES
Ah, ah, ah! You’re gonna have to do
a little better than that.
TRISTAN
I told you, I’m not a hooker.
MILES
It’s just a kiss.
TRISTAN
I already kissed you tonight.
MILES
One minute. Then I'll leave, if you
still want me to.
TRISTAN checks his phone for the time, and sighs.
TRISTAN
Fine. But I'm setting a timer.
MILES
Wanna make sure you get a
whole minute, huh?
TRISTAN
And why would I want to kiss you?
MILES
You tell me; you dared me to.
TRISTAN
(irritated)
Okay, just leave, I don't need your
money.
MILES
Forty-five seconds.
TRISTAN watches MILES for a long moment, long enough
for MILES to start shifting in his seat and folding the bills
in his fingers.
TRISTAN
Thirty and you leave within the
minute.
MILES
Deal.
TRISTAN holds out his hand and MILES places the cash in it.
TRISTAN deftly counts the bills out and hands a few back.
MILES
Take it.
TRISTAN
Shut up.
TRISTAN readies a timer for thirty seconds, while MILES
watches on with a smirk, pocketing the cash.
MILES
We really gonna do this across the
counter?
TRISTAN
(fake smiling)
I wouldn't want you to think I was
hoping for more.
MILES
Can't really work my magic from here.
TRISTAN
(starts timer)
I'm sure I'll survive. Go.

MILES narrows his eyes playfully at the lack of warning,
then pushes up to be level with TRISTAN. His soft eyes
stare into TRISTAN'S, and after a moment of this TRISTAN
begins to appear nervous. MILES places a light hand on
TRISTAN'S cheek, glances down to his lips, and kisses
him gently. TRISTAN responds better this time, moving
with him slowly, an undisclosed amount of alcohol helping
him to lose himself. MILES moves back briefly to change his
angle, and they continue, slow and strangely intimate until
the timer sounds and TRISTAN jolts back, turning away to
wipe his lip with his thumb.
MILES
Damn.
TRISTAN
What was that?
MILES
You thought I was gonna be anything
less than a gentleman?
TRISTAN
Don’t start with me.
MILES
(cocking his head)
How was it?
TRISTAN
Who the fuck are you? What are you --
(sighs)
It was good. Thanks for the money; you
should go now.
MILES
I’ll be back tomorrow.
TRISTAN
I’m not working tomorrow.
MILES
I don’t think I believe you.
***** Chapter 45 *****
Chapter Summary
     everything i ever write goes here because To Be Honest i’m probably
     never writing a proper fic again lmao // nsfw, abuse mention but like
     when is there not with me
ok so tris isn’t down to bottom again which he told him after their first time,
bc yates hurt him and treated him so bad, didn’t care about his pleasure etc
so miles/no one has been bottoming this whole time
one day during sex (miles is bottoming from the top bc he likes to ‘do all the
work’ lmao) tris asks where miles wants to cum. In his mouth? On his chest?
Inside him?
Miles stills, and Tris knows there’s gonna be Consent Dialogue which he’s not
down for right now actually thank you so he sighs and looks away, mildly
annoyed at himself and the situation
A moment later, Miles asks him simply, “What?”
Tris shrugs and half-smiles. “If you want, you can fuck me.”
“I’m not gonna do that.”
“Look, I’m ready. I’m okay, I promise.”
Miles shifts above him, making Tristan’s breath hitch.
“You say you’re ready, but the first time you mention it we’re having sex.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
Tris traces one fingertip up Miles’ dick, Miles bats it away and pulls off,
perching uncomfortably beside him.
“How can I trust that?”
“What do you mean?” Tris almost laughs the words, uncomfortable at Miles’
concern.
“How can I be sure you’re ready when it could just be the heat of the moment?
You looked like you regretted even saying it.”
“I was just pissed at myself because I knew you were gonna do this.”
“Do what? Care about you?”
“Take it too seriously.  If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine. Can we
just…?” he gestures to their hardness
(i'll let you decide whether they continue because you know me i'm all about
that extra as hell consent dialogue so i never let 'em have sex if they're not
100% ecstatic to be alive)
 
Anyway three days later after a bunch of talking about it and also Tris sees
his therapist to get another perspective they’re both feelin okay about it
They break apart from their kiss, naked, on a bed, a little breathless.
“You’re sure about this?” Miles is v concerned. he’s determined to check in
with Tris every seven seconds tbh
Tris opens the lube, drops some into the palm of his hand, then begins to coat
Miles’ fingers gently with it. (a cute moment)
“In three days, I have not doubted this.  I know that I am ready.”
With soft eyes trained on Miles’, Tris guides the fingers he holds downward.
When Miles touches his hole, he raises his eyebrows, checking with Tris.
Tris just smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“You good?”
“Of course I’m good, look at me.”
“Okay, I just, I’m sorry, I just want to be sure you’re alright”
“Okay, thank you, but can you get on with it, please?”
Miles laughs quietly, a light sound that (?? abs??? idc enough to even write a
proper sentence about his abs i'm bored) and presses one finger inside Tristan.
Tristan’s tongue is *?? pressed up against his teeth? It’s cute like when u
take a photo u press ur tongue against ur two front teeth and ur smile looks
nicer ok anyway) and his eyes flutter closed.
“Focus on relaxing.”
“I know, I know, just gimme a sec.”
 
then like they stick with fingers the first night and miles makes him feel rly
good, like, so good, man
then they don't get to see each other the next day but the day after that Tris
is like 'can we...' and miles preps him and then they have penetrative sex and
Miles makes sure Tris feels good and cherished and that he's not in pain but he
also makes sure to do his flirty smile because he knows Tris loves that
and tris almost cries because hot damn this is what it was supposed to feel
like and you know what, this is his first time and that abusive garbage is
fucking dirt under his god damn shoes because
miles is working so hard to make him moan, grazing his neck with his fingertips
and caressing his thighs and peppering kisses anywhere he can reach, touching
everywhere and not just trying to get him off, miles cares and loves him and
wants him to cum, wants to hear him and feel him and be the one to
treat tristan right, and only tristan
***** i wrote hael ??? why *****
hunter wants to go to sleep instead of talking out his obvious beef with yael
and she's arranged to stay over that night and has no way to get home so she's
like
'is this what you're doing now? you're punishing me?'
but he ignores her
'we need to talk about this!'
'i need to sleep.'
'you need to tell me what the hell i did so i can avoid hurting you in future!'
yael pushes her argument and he opens up (yelling) that he's tired of how she
keeps saying he's "better" acting like there's a cure for odd
'but you are, you haven't done anything -'
'because i'm working hard!'
she is silent
'i'm never gonna be cured, yael. and everything's way harder for me now that
i'm /trying/.'
and she walks over to him apologetic as hell cupping his face and kissing him
gently all over
but he pushes her away, saying 'get off' and she takes a breath, resolute and
unafraid. she calmly says 'what do you need me to do? aside from not saying
stuff like that anymore?'
'let me sleep.'
'you're sure there's nothing else?'
he just silently gets into bed idk if she does too or if she's gonna sleep on
the couch or some shit
so the next morning at The Breakfast Bar she (ok yeah she slept on the couch)
notices him getting breakfast and she wakes up all 'you're up early' and he's
like 'ok we should talk' so she sits down and he stands across from her,
playing with his cereal for what feels like forever but she doesn't know what
to say bc she apologised and asked what to do and did it so she's like do i
apologise again or does he want me to shush?
finally he says 'i never want to tell you what you did bc then you'll apologise
and i'll have to fucking comfort you even though you're the one that hurt me'
so she does a four step apology (the best kind, fuck your grand gestures and
gifts) bc he taught her some stuff he learned in therapy bc therapy techniques
are awesome and it makes him feel good to teach and pass it on and stuff!!!!
and that way also she can identify when he's trying to follow his plans and
what might help and sometimes she mentions that she saw how hard he tried today
or how well he handled something frustrating and that in turn makes him feel
like he's making progress it's so great!!!! but i digress, back to the apology
'i'm sorry for the way i've been apologising for my errors.
it was wrong because it was manipulative and i made you feel awful and... made
you afraid to discuss things with me.
next time i'll... be more careful of the way i phrase and express my apologies
and i'll be more mindful of manipulative behaviours always. thank you for
telling me even though it was hard. can you forgive me?'
hunter stares at her for a moment, and the second she starts to get nervous, he
kisses her.
she smiles into the kiss, and then so does he.
she's like 'thank you.' bc she's so glad they're ok and he's ok then he's like
'thank /you/.' and taps her nose with the spoon and she's like 'ugh gross!' and
then they start a tickling war or some shit idk
***** kiss me with that gay shit *****
Chapter Summary
     :') nsfw
ok so tris and miles are hangin out and tris had just climbed the flight of
stairs to his room and miles is like babe!!!!!! and they're both so happy and
proud and tris asks miles to jerk him off bc he doesn't have the energy in his
arms yet and miles is more than happy to oblige and tris is like 'i will get u
back as soon as i can i promise i swear on my life' but obviously miles is like
'if you recall, i fell for your heart, not your body, so how about you shut the
fuck up'
and they lock the door and move him up onto the bed (tris does most of the work
and miles is so proud his lil childlike wonder face is getting so much action)
and miles goes for his sweatpants and he's like 'um kiss me first??'
and miles is like oh ok, even better
and he kisses tris so soft and slow and feels up his chest under his shirt with
his warm hands and tris is like oh my godddd and then miles plays with his
ridiculously sensitive neck and tris is like fucking take me now 'oh god okay
please now please'
so miles goes for his waistband again and teases him just a little just enough
to make him whimper real quiet
then he just swallows him down and tris is like We Did Not Discuss This but
he's too blissed out to actually care he figures he'll just playfully shove
miles later and it's fine consent wise bc they both know he still remembers
their safewords from their kinky as hell sex before so miles is like ok imma
keep doin this then bc he doesn't know if tris even still has lube in his
drawers or whether he ever did because when the fuck did they ever hang out at
tristan's house
so tris is having the goddamn time of his goddamn life oh man miles feels so
much better than he remembers and he almost forgot all these sweet touches all
over his stomach and just kinda sliding his hands down his body and it feels so
loving and that's what makes it so fucking sexy so he cums so quick like he
srsly hasn't been able to cum in like five months so he's !!!! loving it !!!!
but he seems super exhausted after it bc muscle contractions are tiring and
also fatigue and also he had already climbed a whole flight of stairs for the
first time that day and miles just puts his clothes back on him and cuddles
with him and draws lil patterns on his arm with his fingertips and lets him
drift off to sleep while he mumbles 'thank you's and 'i promise i'll make it up
to you soon's and one 'i love you so fucking much'
and he wakes up alone but miles is gone but he left a note with a dozen little
'x' kisses at the end and it says he had to go to that family dinner but he'd
facetime him when it was over and he loves him so much and some weird shit
about how they had a great day so tris isn't sure whether it's like to hide the
blowjob from his mom if she came in or whether he was also thinking about the
stairs thing but he treasures that note for literally ever
anyway miles facetimes tris after the dinner and frankie is with him!!!! she
comes to see him sometimes too bc she was at his birthday party while he was
comatose like they have a lot in common they both like pop culture and also
boys and they're white and cis and attractive look never mind ok they're
friends it's nice they help each other with outfit choices and also they help
miles dress himself because he's colour blind please help this confused,
styleless man
so frankie's like 'i heard the big news!!!' and tris is still stuck thinkin
about the blowjob and is like shit what but she reminds him he climbed a
staircase and he got all happy again and she's like 'i wish i could hug you but
i'll just have to settle for miles' and then she hugs him tight and thrashes
around excitedly u know how people hug when they're excited ya and he's like
'i'll be sure to pass it on' and she chats with tris for a minute then leaves
them alone bc she miraculously has developed a sense for when things are about
to get awkward but aren't awkward yet
so tris is like 'please come back and stay over i miss you' and miles is like
'i'm sorry, but you know your mom wouldn't allow it. and neither would mine;
dinner night is stay home night' and tris is a cheeky fuck and suggests that bc
he's able bodied he could just climb through a couple windows but miles reminds
him he lives on the second floor and they get into a play-argument about
whether the tree outside miles' room is too flimsy to climb
eventually they settle on miles just bringing some vegetables over tomorrow
morning so tris can cook his fave omelette or some shit idk and miles is like
'see?? u are getting your life back ur doing so well with what u have babe i
love u ur gonna get where u wanna be' you know some cheesy inspirational shit
and tris smiles and then reluctantly hangs up bc suddenly it's like almost one
in the morning and his phone is dying
***** Chapter 48 *****
ok so get this, right, tris is at home chillin on his bed late one afternoon
when a thunderstorm hits, and even tho miles is hanging with jonah he tries to
facetime him just for a few minutes because storms always remind him of miles
ever since thunderstruck and because he didn't get to see him that day et
cetera
but miles doesn't answer and tris is like 'oh. rude. he said he was just
chillin with a friend he can't even text me back damn ok fine' and picks up a
book
but then miles literally shows up at his bedroom door and he got soaked in the
rain running from his car to the door and he asks tris if he can borrow some
clothes and tris is like 'take your pick' and miles picks the purple-pink-blue
striped shirt tris totally stole and the blue hoodie tris totally also stole
and he's just like o my god too many cute memories of us gtg
and miles smooths his hair and climbs under the covers to get warm even tho
tris is on top of them and he starts kissing tris real soft and sweet like
always and tris is like 'wait what about jonah' and miles says he had to leave
for some reason and tris is like 'so you're really going to spend
all
 your spare time with me?' kinda disapproving and miles says how storms remind
him of tris so he just had to come see him and they just spend the rest of the
evening just makin out and cuddling and watching the rain on tristan's window
and talking and bein cute and healthy bc they sorted all their shit out
***** Chapter 49 *****
Chapter Summary
     angsty with no happy ending unless u can imagine one for urself
today at work i started cryin bc some things are so repetitive so i just think
about triles to keep my mind occupied
and i kept imagining like (this is based on me but also it's basically canon
lol)
if miles keeps saying shit to make tris hate him or not trust him and saying
they should break up and then regretting it
and tris forgives him bc miles keeps promising he won't let his fears make him
push tris away anymore and he has more control this time or whatever
but yeah so miles does that one day for like the dozenth time and tris is
trying to calm him down like 'i know you usually want to keep us together and
be better than this, please choose us please choose yourself and our happiness
together i know you have the power to make the healthier choice' and he's
crying but he is so strong my baby tristan
anyway so tris is trying to keep it together and remember that miles is gonna
be genuinely sorry and treat him right when he calms down and that he implodes
like this less often than he used to and he's just trying to ruin things on
purpose bc of his core beliefs instilled by abuse but then miles says sth about
yates and tris is like. no
and he goes home and miles is tryna tell himself that's a good thing and that
them breaking up is better for tris but it hurts and he misses tris obviously
bc he keeps making shit choices
and anyway miles calls like ten times but tris has turned off his phone bc he
doesn't wanna deal with miles rn but miles comes to tristan's door and knocks
and tris is ignoring him so he says he won't leave until he can at least
apologise, he doesn't expect tris to take him back, he never expects that, but
he knows he fucked up real bad this time so tris comes to the door and miles
starts to talk but tris is like 'no.' and miles is like .........?? and tris
just stays there for a second trying to keep himself together so he can say and
'no' again more resolutely and without his voice crumbling and he does and then
he closes the door
oh my god
and so miles sits on the porch waiting for tristan's mom to come home and he's
like 'mrs milligan please can i see him i know he's upset but -' and she's like
hell no i am not getting involved go home
but why would he so he stays there all night and falls asleep but it's cold so
mrs milligan brings a blanket out to him and anyway tris comes out the next
morning like 'i have heard your apologies a thousand times; you have nothing
new to say to me so if you really don't expect me to take you back then why the
fuck did you stay here all night' and miles tries to be all 'i'll see my
therapist five times a week i'll sign a contract about how to treat you right
i'll do anything please let me show you i have never felt so bad about anything
in my life' and tris is just like no get out of my way i have to get to school
so miles is like 'i'll give you a ride, we can talk' and tris just blanks him
for like a week and now zoë hates him bc she was assaulted and when has she
ever believed in him and winston hates him bc when has he ever thought anything
even remotely positive about miles and hunter and frankie don't give a fuck bc
when have his siblings ever cared about his emotional wellbeing so he's alone
and devastated and basically all his bridges are burnt for good and idk maybe
he dies or gets really fuckin high or something i just wanna see tris be strong
and not petty
***** caves *****
Chapter Summary
     necessary vibe: https://haux.bandcamp.com/track/caves
ok so also while listening to caves i left it on repeat at work while doing sth
boring so my mind wandered to married triles and they'd been arguing a lot ever
since they got married and it got so intense that they had a fight and tris
noticed miles twisting his words and he's like ok we need to calm down and talk
abt this later because i feel out of control and i don't know how to keep this
civil when i feel like this
and miles is like 'no we're gonna talk about this now' and makes tris cry
because he's biting back mildly mean but objectively fair criticisms while
miles has a much worse tone
so tris says he really can't deal with this and he wants them both to be in a
good space so the discussion can be healthy and miles calls him a coward and
tris retorts by saying he thinks they need to see a marriage counsellor
which miles only agrees to after he sleeps on the couch that night and tris
cries himself to sleep bc how did things get so bad how did they turn into
their parents
and they have make up sex in the kitchen the next morning
so tris goes in with only good intentions wanting them to sort out their
underlying issues because 'cereal preference isn't that deep, miles, there must
be something else wrong'
but miles is just sulking and tris is so careful to only use 'i feel' and 'it
seems to me like' statements and he tells their whole story looking over at
miles, mentioning that this is just his perspective and he doesn't want to
speak over miles
so then the therapist asks miles how he feels about what tristan said and he's
just like 'i FEEL that we don't need this' and tris is like 'well i feel like
we do so can you just try it my way bc i feel like we've done nothing about
this for months'
and miles is an asshole all silent and stubborn and tris is just so broken like
'we used to want the world for each other; what happened' and miles spits 'we
got married'
and tris is just like 'so did you not want to marry me' and miles is like 'my
health generally relies on me going against my instincts and what i want so to
be honest no i didn't really want to'
tris is trying to keep himself together like 'all i ever asked from you was
commitment and if you didn't feel that you could do that for me you shouldn't
have fucking married me. oh god i'm sorry. i'm sorry for swearing that wasn't
necessary i'm sorry' and then he apologises 100 times for swearing and squeezes
his hand and begs him to try to work things out bc it's bigger than just the
petty shit they argue about
and the therapist asks what they want things to be like etc and tris says he
would like to figure out how to deal when one of them isn't up to a discussion,
how to identify when to step back/when he feels like he's about to snap and say
something unhelpful just to hurt him because they both do that
and miles is like 'just don't. just fucking don't say things that hurt' and
tris wants to be a zoë and say 'that's rich coming from you' but instead he
says 'i'm here because i need to learn techniques to do that. i would like for
us to be able to respect it if the other is saying they need to walk away, but
i think an issue is that we're afraid there's nothing we can do if the other
refuses to ever come back to it and we feel so strongly in the moment that we
find it hard to put it down. and also i would like to stop whatever is going on
with sex because it feels unhealthy'
so miles is like 'what are you talking about' and tris is like 'we only have
sex when we're mad at each other? we're always rough and we don't ask if things
are okay? we never make love anymore???????????'
so the therapist asks miles what he wants in an ideal world and he just says he
wants to 'go back to how things were when they were just boyfriends. Because
marriage is...' and trails off so tris is like 'marriage is what?' and the
therapist stops him and asks miles to be more specific and he just reluctantly
thinks for a minute and without looking at the therapist says 'it was easier to
stay and work things out when i didn't HAVE to and i want to stay with tris but
things feel different and tris is always talking about taxes and work and
planning dinner parties' and he's slowly opening up and tris takes his hand and
listens and miles turns to him and says 'i love you. i do. and i want to keep
loving you but we've sorted shit out a hundred times without a therapist and i
don't want us to need this. we're not really fucked. we're okay. we will be
okay.'
and the therapist butts in like 'actually 85% of my clients end up happier in
their relationships' or some annoying statistic and she tells him therapy for
relationships doesn't mean they always need therapy it's just to help them
figure out how to do it on their own
anyway they leave with some homework they gotta write down ten things they do
and ten things the other does in a fight whether it's healthy or unhealthy and
they passive aggressively write long ass lists for each other but they were
also instructed to write lists of ten things they like that the other does and
tris finds miles' by accident and he starts doing them more, texting him memes
like they used to and talking less about work
and miles suspects he saw the list but tris is on his lap kissing him deep and
he tests it by asking like 'don't you have work to do' and tris says 'cleared
my schedule for the afternoon; i'm all yours'
they go in again in a few days and miles is like 'things are way better' and
tris is like 'ok but i left my list out and you didn't even try' and his list
was just 'i like when he asks about my day or offers to do things even when i'm
clearly gonna do it myself' and miles is like 'you always tell me about ur day
anyway so why ask why play these games' and tris is like 'i just want you to
give a shit sometimes about someone else's feelings! i'm not allowed to grow
up, i have to revert to my seventeen-year-old self for you, but i can't even
remember the last time you took the trash out without me asking you with sugar
on top'
anyways they work things out over time bc miles gets less stubborn and sees
that therapy is what they needed but also realises tris wasn't saying he was
necessarily right just that he wanted to try it and the therapist is so good
and they make love all the time and check in with the other about whether
they're happy and whether they're doing enough to make the other happy and it's
all fair and great forever the end
***** Chapter 51 *****
Chapter Summary
     another script format from ages ago bc aren't they adorable
Tristan is urgently retrieving clothes strewn around the room and pulling them
on.
Miles, however, is lazily sitting up in bed watching Tristan, showing no sign
of distress at the situation.
TRISTAN
I can't believe you didn't tell me this. How am I supposed to get home and back
in time? Not to mention finding something to wear.
MILES
Tris, it's fine. We'll sort something out.
TRISTAN
(collecting his keys and wallet)
No, it's not fine. I can't stand being late!
MILES
(standing up)
Relax; I'll say we went out and got stuck in traffic or something.
Tristan stops dashing around and turns to Miles.
TRISTAN
Miles. I'm mad at you.
MILES pushes back a smile. TRISTAN rubs his temples, then notices...
TRISTAN
Are you getting hard right now?!
MILES
Sorry! You're hot when you're angry...
Miles steps forward and raises his hand to Tristan's side.
Tristan rolls his eyes, sidestepping him to open the door.
TRISTAN
(without turning to face him)
That's not the part you should be apologising for.
The door slams behind TRISTAN.
Close on Miles, clearly sexually frustrated.
===============================================================================
Tristan is half running up to the door in a grey t-shirt, black skinny jeans
and a black leather jacket. He knocks rapidly and smooths his hair in the
reflection of his phone screen as Miles opens the door to greet him.
TRISTAN
(pushing past him)
I. Feel. Terrible.
MILES
Hey, we're both here, we're clothed, alive, it's not like they expect much more
from me.
TRISTAN
That's not the point! I have to make a good impression this time. I'm trying to
prove that I'm a good influence on you. And postponing dinner because I got --
(air quotes)
-- stuck in traffic, doesn't really help our case.
MILES
Or I could just tell them the truth.
TRISTAN
Which is what, Miles? What do you think is the truth here? Whose fault is it
this time?
MILES
(sighs)
The truth is, I made us late and I'm sorry. I know that stuff's important to
you. I promise not to avoid --
TRISTAN
(interrupting)
Did you Google heartfelt apologies?
MILES
(patient)
Will you forgive me?
TRISTAN
Yes. 
MILES
Wh- that's it? No conditions? No 'only if's?
TRISTAN
No. I can tell you meant it. There aren't supposed to be conditions. 
MILES
(smiling, surprised)
You are amazing.
TRISTAN
I try. Now, come on, I'm starving.
MILES closes the door behind TRISTAN and wraps an arm around his waist as they
walk on toward the sounds of laughter and chatter.
***** Chapter 52 *****
Chapter Summary
     ok so imagine if the bus crash never happened but instead miles gets
     a call and they say tris got in a car accident right,
Tristan is lying in a hospital bed, watching a nurse change bandages on his
arm. Miles runs into the room, disheveled and short of breath.
MILES
Tris! Oh, god, I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up; how are you
feeling?
TRISTAN
(looking to the nurse, unsure)
Sssorry... they told me I have amnesia...
MILES
(hesitates, still panting)
You're kidding, right?
NURSE
Actually, he's not. The trauma to Tristan's head has caused retrograde amnesia,
which affects memories from before the accident. We can't know for sure if it's
permanent but it usually all comes back within a week.
MILES
Wh-what? That's... no, that doesn't make sense! Your mom didn't tell me when I
spoke to her; this has to be a joke.
Tristan shakes his head, then winces at the pain. 
MILES
But you know me, right?
Tristan shrugs apologetically.
MILES
Fuck... D-do you want me to go? I could -
TRISTAN
(rushed, sitting up)
No, stay! You'll just... have to teach me all about you.
NURSE
(collecting medical paraphernalia)
Listen, we're actually filing paperwork to restrict visitation to immediate
family, so you might have to make it quick.
Miles politely nods in the direction of the nurse, who leaves the room.
MILES
So you don't remember me? At all?
TRISTAN
Sorry.
this feels weird bc he would most likely remember a little of childhood and his
parents and maybe like hearing a specific word miles has said before or
recognise something miles is wearing that clicks a little or idk there would be
a few tiny details he remembers at least so it's frustrating me so much
here!!!!!!!!!!!
MILES
No, don't. It's not your fault. It's fine.
TRISTAN
I doubt it's 'fine'. Come sit down.
MILES
(doesn't appear to hear him)
Oh, my god. I didn't even ask how you were!
TRISTAN
Yes, you did, I just didn't answer. I'm alright. Just got a headache, but
anyone could have told you that.
MILES
Okay, but... about the...
TRISTAN
(joking)
Well, it's not like I know any different. At least I can still talk.
Miles sits down in an uncomfortable-looking plastic chair by Tristan's bed. 
TRISTAN
So. Who... are you?
MILES
(shyly laughs)
Um, well, I'm Miles, I'm... your boyfriend. We've been dating for almost a year
now -
TRISTAN
You're my boyfriend?
MILES
Yeah.
TRISTAN
Sooo, that means I can kiss you, right?
MILES
Are – are you sure?
TRISTAN
(flirting)
Hey, you're cute. And I'm exempt from consequences right now.
MILES
(chuckling)
You're a lot more confident when you don't know who I am.
TRISTAN
Well then, what am I usually like?
MILES
You are... sweet, thoughtful, fun, sometimes shy and sometimes not. You always
put other people first, and won't listen when I tell you to choose yourself for
once. You love to talk about anything and everything. You make me laugh so hard
I can't breathe. You text back fast and keep promises and secrets. You're
everyone's best friend, especially mine. You --
TRISTAN
(interrupting)
You love me.
MILES
Huh?
TRISTAN
I can see in your eyes, you love me.
MILES
(softly smiling)
That's right, I love you.
Tristan's gaze falls to his wringing hands. His open, positive attitude seems
to falter.
TRISTAN
Sorry.
MILES
Don't worry at all, please. It's not your fault.
TRISTAN
It could have been.
MILES
What are you talking about?
TRISTAN
They said I was driving... I don't know exactly what happened...
MILES
No, Tris, seriously, you are the safest driver in Canada. You wouldn't have -
TRISTAN
(interrupting again)
Do I drink?
MILES
No, never. I'm sure there'd be a cop sitting here if you had been drinking. But
you wouldn't.
TRISTAN
See? I don't even know who I am.
MILES
Well, some memories usually come back in a day or two, right? The nurse said
the damage was only moderate?
TRISTAN
(distracted)
Right.
MILES
Well, what about your parents? Have you seen them yet?
TRISTAN
(shifting uncomfortably)
My dad was here when I woke up but I was still so drugged up that no one
realised I don't know him. He said my mom'll bring some of my stuff tomorrow,
which I hope is true because it's shaping up to be really boring in here.
MILES
She will. She's a great mom.
TRISTAN
So, my family's nice?
MILES
Yeah, they're awesome. Your brother Owen's away at college and your parents are
kind of on the rocks but you love them.
TRISTAN
Owen... I know Owen.
MILES
You know Owen?
TRISTAN
I know Owen!
MILES
YES!
Miles, delighted, surges forward and places his hands on Tristan's face as he
kisses him. It's returned, then Miles breaks off abruptly.
MILES
Whoa. That was way out of line. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go.
TRISTAN
No - 
Tristan pulls Miles back down into another kiss, this one softer and slower.
Miles appears to lose himself in this one too, steadying himself with a hand
beside Tristan. After a moment, Miles pulls away abruptly.
MILES
(whispering)
I'm sorry.
TRISTAN
(smiling)
Don't be.
MILES
Seriously, I need you to know I understand that was wrong.
TRISTAN
Okay.
MILES
And I really don't want you to forgive me just because you think you should.
TRISTAN
Okay.
MILES
God, I'm sorry. I should have asked.
TRISTAN
No, it's really okay. It's what you always do, right?
MILES
It's not the same. You don't trust me; you don't know me. You don't have our
history. Look, i-if this isn't okay I can go. If you don't feel safe or
anything.
TRISTAN
No, I do. I'd like the company anyway. It's almost like... never mind.
MILES
Tell me.
TRISTAN
(hesitant)
It sounds dumb but... It's like I know the feeling of us. Your face, and your
voice, I can't quite place them, but there's something... like a vibe, or...
some kind of trust... I don't know. That's stupid, isn't it? Forget I said
anything.
MILES
You know, that is just like you to make something romantic out of this.
Tristan mocks offense and hits Miles with his pillow.
TRISTAN
Come on, it's the classic amnesia love story! You get to charm me all over
again. Make it count.
***** Chapter 53 *****
Chapter Summary
     and when i say "probably", i mean 'please god somebody take the
     internet away from me it's highly improbable'
whatever you do, DON'T think about the fact that miles probably shaved
tristan's face and got up real close and caressed him and kissed him
softly cleaning the residue off of his face with a warm washcloth, using his
other hand to steady tristan's head, so fucking gentle and affectionate
don't imagine all the times he missed being close with tris and just put his
hand on his cheek and how lifeless he would have felt, even though tris was
warm he couldn’t feel the muscles smiling under his fingers it was just such an
empty feeling
don't think about the gag reflex jokes he would have made about the trach tube
wishing tris would smile just once just this one time please tris i need to see
it
he probably wanted so desperately to curl up next to tris but he couldn't
safely move him so he wasn't able to fit his tall body on the bed
he wasn’t allowed anyway, even tho visiting hours were more lax in the coma
ward so they did let him write and read by tristan’s side
probably kissed his neck so sweet and tender, kissed his forehead and what he
could reach of his lips, pressed their foreheads together
missing the feeling of just lazily kissing on a tuesday afternoon, just
touching the other's skin because it was so warm and intimate
wanting nothing more than for his sentence to be over he tries to just live and
convince himself he has to suffer patiently to have him back, like it's the
universe punishing him for taking him for granted all this time, but it's not
fair because tristan didn't deserve it
miles was so involved with tristan's treatment he probably knew the nurses,
knew when to put the achilles boot on to stretch his tendons and when to switch
it over to the other foot, knew when owen was coming home and remembered
tristan's father had said he'd come but didn't, tried to cut him some slack but
it was hard because in his experience fathers were just garbage
probably shared stories about tristan with mrs milligan, bonding and laughing
across his body, holding a hand each, but still in the back of his mind
remembering that tris' parents had been fighting a few years back and she
was... a lot like his own mom tbh
probably brought his own mom once, probably asked hunter if he wanted to come
and hunter was accidentally a little rude saying no thanks but miles was cool
about it because he's not like other brothers. he's a cool brother
probably had to ask frankie how to even order a cake for tristan's birthday,
probably wondered if treatment laws changed now that he's 18
probably wished he could celebrate with tris so bad he slept in an
uncomfortable plastic chair by his side after everyone else left, stayed all
night and the nurses urged him to go home but he just couldn't
probably said 'at least you'll be back by your nineteenth so i can hold you up
when you get smashed on strawberry martinis or whatever stupid drink you fall
in love with'
probably apologised for everything, cried a little over how he treated him,
over the things he wanted to talk through but couldn't
probably found a comfortable position where he could write and have his head
rest in the curve of tristan's neck at the same time
probably went home one night and felt kinda stressed and jerked off thinking
about him, cried after, and wondered if maybe he should just watch porn next
time, wondered if that would even be okay with tris, faintly wondered whether
he should try gay porn or at least stop watching lesbians every time but wasn't
horny enough anymore to properly think about what he would want to watch and
forgot
probably tried to believe staying positive and encouraging him was going to
help him get through it because he’d read studies
probably touched his ring finger gently and whispered that he missed him, that
he wanted him back more than anything in the fucking world
probably helped the nurses bathe him and move him to avoid bedsores, even
though it was awkward, he touched him so gentle and loving
probably didn't leave when they changed his catheters because he wasn't
supposed to be there after visiting hours but he wanted
to hold tristan's hand and tell him it was okay, knowing he might not be able
to hear it or even register feeling it; he just had to be by his side. they'd
asked him to leave the first few times but one day he just resolutely shook his
head and steadfastly wouldn't put tristan's hand down
he probably brushed his teeth, clipped his nails, helped the nurses stretch and
exercise him, helped out with changing bedsheets because he couldn't just sit
there and watch and be useless but he also wasn't leaving despite visiting
hours being over
he probably drew little patterns on tristan's skin, not saying anything for a
half hour, hoping it comforted tristan more than it did him
probably played with his fingers endlessly, touched the hair sticking out of
his bandage, stroked his eyebrows, pressed his lips to his skin
probably told tristan he was handling it okay, because until his abuser broke
his hope he mostly had been, told him he felt strong and in control, told
tristan he felt safe so he wouldn't worry, if he could hear him at all
but god he couldn't handle not touching him, he couldn't fucking wait until
tris could make the choice to touch him
probably rested his hand on tristan's stomach and moved away because he
remembered tris didn't like that, then rested his hand on his chest, trying to
feel his heartbeat, knowing it was there but wondering if you could feel it on
non-comatose people because he couldn't feel it on tristan
couldn't wait until tris could look at him, sometimes almost forgot how
beautiful tristan's eyes were but he looked at pictures often enough to
remember he loved the way he felt when tristan's eyes crinkled and his broad
smile was his and because of him
couldn't wait until tristan would tell him he loved him again, because those
words meant so much more than they seemed to on the surface
he couldnt wait to see the way tristan's breathing picked up when he told him
he loved him back, the way his body would angle closer to him
he missed tristan so much, all the little things he would do, the way he would
squeeze his fingers when they were walking somewhere, the way
he would sit in his passenger seat and roll his head to the side to look at him
at red lights, hoping for a kiss or just some eye contact
the way tris would flirt with him and slowly climb on top of him and tilt his
head a little before kissing him deep, tasting of cherries
the way he could sense when miles wasn't okay and would gently intertwine his
fingers around his own and look at him with safe, soft eyes
the way he was always willing to come over, go out, even to facetime when he
was doing some weird face mask because he'd just laugh it off and feel
comfortable
miles probably sat by tristan's side missing that one night when had tris
stayed over, they'd made love, tangled their fingers in each other's hair and
stared into each other's eyes like some B-list movie and they woke up the next
morning and miles found a spare new toothbrush for tris and annoyed him by
watching him brush his teeth because he was just so cute, so put-together and
level-headed but simultaneously adorable and somehow sexy and his and he knew
that Tristan loved when he stared at him because then tris could ask why and
miles would just say with a smile that he felt so lucky. he knew tris needed
that affection sometimes and it wasn't really his style but he loved tris so
fucking much he wanted to love him how he wanted to be loved
***** Chapter 54 *****
Chapter Summary
     move, i'm gay
miles playing soccer on weekends and tris is usually busy shooting and doing
interviews and whatever but he manages to make it to the end of a game and
miles comes off at the end of the game all sweaty and ughhh gross and panting
and tris is smiling and miles sees him and grins so hard like holy shit tris is
here!!
anyways miles walks over to him and they just kiss with their bodies pressed
together and miles is super sweaty and covered in grass and mud and everything
but tris doesn't care he's just so !!!!!! he pushes his body closer to miles'
and miles pulls their hips together and tristan's right hand is in miles' wet
hair and his other hand is on his wet neck
and miles pulls away still breathing heavy like 'i'm gross wyd' and tris is
like 'i don't care' with a breathless smile and kisses him again and then zig
is like 'get a room, fuckers' and takes a beer from a cooler and miles glances
over at him super quick then back at tris and laughs bc he doesn't have fucking
time to look at things that are not tristan
and he smiles and their bodies r still together bc that's ALL I EVER GIVE A
FUCK ABOUT and tris is like 'oh is this okay'
(and what he means is 'is it okay that i'm... like... kissing you... here... in
such a masc place... are you even out to these people are you safe oh god')
and miles just kisses him again real sweet and soft and then tris tells him how
proud he is!!! and how he played so well he was so fast and smart and HOT and
he loves him and etc etc and tries to kiss him again but miles is like 'um i .
uhh. i had better not get hard rn these shorts are..................' and tris
notices all The Guys are drinking beer and before tris even realises he's about
to worry about him drinking miles is like 'i don't' and tris is just So Fucking
Proud and miles can Feel It he feels so !!!!!!!! loved and supported and it's
the best feeling in the world to him
***** Chapter 55 *****
Chapter Summary
     hsfhgsgfsgh
wait but imagine miles taking tris out on a date to lola's and he's still
having mood swings and can't enunciate that well and so he has a mood swing and
starts yelling at miles and making a scene and crying loudly over literally
nothing and miles is super gentle and like 'it's okay tris, i know, please try
to calm down, you're okay' and tris is like 'why, am i emBARRASSING YOU' and
miles is like 'you know i don't care about that stuff i just don't like when
you're upset babe' and tris is still hysterical (i don't like that word bc it's
not very feminist but whatever) and miles comes over to sit next to him and is
all 'tell me what's wrong let me help you' i'm EMO
***** Chapter 56 *****
tris asking gently why miles didnt talk to him in 14a and miles is like it
wasnt your fault it's not an issue anymore don't worry about it but tris is
like well is there anything i could have done differently is there anything i
can do now can i maybe help you work through anything because i want you to
feel like uou can talk to me about anything and it breaks my heart that you
felt so alone when i was trying so hard to be there for you and i know you must
have had your reasons so i just want to understand and make sure you never go
through that again but i don't want to force you to talk about this so i'll
drop it and miles is like i'll think about it i just don't know what to tell
you and tris is like ......... do you want me to go and miles is like .......
hesitating ..... thinking silent
so tris gets up to leave but miles says no stay and tris looks at him concerned
and confused and miles is like 'i think i need you' so tris sits back down and
puts his arm around miles which he never does bc that's what miles does but
anyway miles is like 'i don't um. i don't like to think about him when you're
not here wow that sounds stupid' and tris is like no of course not sweetie like
bc he knows miles feels a grounding influence in tris and feels comfortable and
home and all that good shit miles sits there for a minute
and eventually figures it out by just talking for ages about how he didnt want
to tell tris bc he wanted an escape and he felt like they had never been just
happy for long even back in paris he made tris feel bullied and when they were
friends he was still hurting bc he was with maya and he just wanted some peace
with tris while they worked things out with them and he didnt want his fucking
dad to be a part of their relationship he had seen how it affected things with
maya and he didn't want tris to see what happened and think it was his fault
like he was scared he'd pull a maya and seem concerned but think it was miles'
fault when he saw retaliation and he also didn't want tris to have to deal with
it bc he had so much more baggage than tris knew when he went into it and has
even more now and he hates hurting tris he never meant to he just wanted to
keep everything sweet between them and hope everything else went away and
resolved itself on its own like it always seemed to and plus he did half think
it was all his fault at the time and so tris is like oh my god my baby no i
would never think it's your fault i knew what it was like to have someone
manipulate you and then let you blame yourself for it and he goes on about how
he saw how many times miles tried to repair things and be good and start over
and fix things in any way possible even running away and giving things up if it
would help the people he loved but his dad didnt want to let go of the cycle
'honey i would never ever and i'm always here for you i want to be here for you
i don't care that our history isn't perfect i just want you to feel like you
can tell me anything and if i can't handle it i'll tell you that but i'm good
i'm here i love you i want to be your rock i don't want you to have to rely on
people who treated you like what you went through was at all your fault i want
to know every goddamn time you get a papercut i want to know all your hurt and
help you through it like you do for me because you're a good person at heart
you always try to do the right thing by other people and it sucks that your
intentions don't work out and people get hurt but that's not because you're a
bad person' and he just keeps comforting miles for like seventy hours and miles
is sleepy so he curls up with tris and plays with his hair and says he loves
him and thanks him for everything he said and they go to sleep the end
***** Chapter 57 *****
i just need 2 talk 2 someone about how tristan's ED plot had so fucking much
potential but they just went 'nah’ but how good would it be if miles found a
food diary in his room and stood there in shock feeling his heart drop feeling
sick to his stomach until tris saw him with it and snatched it out of his hands
oh god i just want miles to hold him while he cries about how his parents don't
even notice and it consumes him and he compares himself to people like miles
who are just naturally thin without having to work and restrict and obsess I
JUST WANT HIM TO CRY
ok and what if miles had been hugged trying to score tickets to some musical
tris said he wanted to see weeks ago and he comes home and tris smells perfume
on him and asks if he's been with a girl and miles is like 'no oh my god no i
just had to call in a favour from an old friend to get these please don't worry
please' and tris is like 'it's not my birthday did you fuck up somehow why are
you giving me these' and miles is like 'I was trying to show you I remember
stuff you care about y'know like do nice things for no reason' and tris is
still anxious but he pushes it down because he wants to melt instead and miles
calls the girl with tris there but she doesn't know that tris is listening and
he's like 'hey thanks again for those tickets; it was good to catch up with
you' and she says stuff that's obviously just old-friendshippy and tris
believes him finally awwwwww
***** Chapter 58 *****
if miles keeps saying shit to make tris hate him or not trust him and saying
they should break up and then regretting it
and tris forgives him bc miles keeps promising he won't let his fears make him
push tris away anymore and he has more control this time or whatever
but yeah so miles does that one day for like the dozenth time and tris is
trying to calm him down like 'i know you usually want to keep us together and
be better than this, please choose us please choose yourself and our happiness
together i know you have the power to make the healthier choice' and he's
crying but he is so strong my baby tristan
anyway so tris is trying to keep it together and remember that miles is gonna
be genuinely sorry and treat him right when he calms down and that he implodes
like this less often than he used to and he's just trying to ruin things on
purpose bc of his core beliefs instilled by abuse but then miles says sth about
yates and tris is like. no
and he goes home and miles is tryna tell himself that's a good thing and that
them breaking up is better for tris but it hurts and he misses tris obviously
bc he keeps making shit choices
and anyway miles calls like ten times but tris has turned off his phone bc he
doesn't wanna deal with miles rn but miles comes to tristan's door and knocks
and tris is ignoring him so he says he won't leave until he can at least
apologise, he doesn't expect tris to take him back, he never expects that, but
he knows he fucked up real bad this time so tris comes to the door and miles
starts to talk but tris is like 'no.' and miles is like .........?? and tris
just stays there for a second trying to keep himself together so he can say and
'no' again more resolutely and without his voice crumbling and he does and then
he closes the door
oh my god
and so miles sits on the porch waiting for tristan's mom to come home and he's
like 'mrs milligan please can i see him i know he's upset but -' and she's like
hell no i am not getting involved go home
but why would he so he stays there all night and falls asleep but it's cold so
mrs milligan brings a blanket out to him and anyway tris comes out the next
morning like 'i have heard your apologies a thousand times; you have nothing
new to say to me so if you really don't expect me to take you back then why the
fuck did you stay here all night' and miles tries to be all 'i'll see my
therapist five times a week i'll sign a contract about how to treat you right
i'll do anything please let me show you i have never felt so bad about anything
in my life' and tris is just like no get out of my way i have to get to school
so miles is like 'i'll give you a ride, we can talk' and tris just blanks him
for like a week and now zoë hates him bc she was assaulted and when has she
ever believed in him and winston hates him bc when has he ever thought anything
even remotely positive about miles and hunter and frankie don't give a fuck bc
when have his siblings ever cared about his emotional wellbeing so he's alone
and devastated and basically all his bridges are burnt for good and idk maybe
he dies or gets really fuckin high or something i just wanna see tris be strong
and not petty
***** Chapter 59 *****
miles finding out he has sensitive nipples bc tris is like 'wait why do you
have two ways [neck and thighs, fight me] to turn me into a desperate mess but
you don't have anything sensitive? fuck that. i'm going all over your body,
head to toe, bitch. we're going to find something' so he gets to miles' nipples
and he arches his back and kinda moans and everything and tris is just like
'lmfao you almost just came' and miles is like 'fuck you no i didn't *shifty
eyes*' and tries to get him back by touching his neck so they end up in like a
weird sensual equivalent of a tickling war lmfao
OR OK LISTEN WHAT IF miles ends up on depression mood stabilisers that make him
feel detached wrt love and sex but he knows he loves tris and sex and he knows
why but he just struggles to get hard so tris is like 'the doctor said just
stick it out for three months, we can get through this, don't feel bad baby,
don't worry if you can't cum, we'll just make out and see if anything more
happens okay?' or whatever he's super supportive and miles is upset bc he's not
as passionate and excited as he wants to be and i cried in the car bc of this +
listening to All of You but ok so they make out for like 8274230 hours and
miles slowly uncertainly pulls tris on top of him and they make out some more
and then miles is like wtf am i doing i just need to make him feel good and
then he'll do hot things and then i'll cum ok cool easy peasy but he doESN'T
and he gets a lil frustrated at himself and goes off to sulk for a bit and tris
finds him after a few minutes and has a d&m as if they weren't communicating
the whole time and miles feels better about it like 'can we maybe try again?'
and tris is like 'oops i jerked off bc i didn't trust myself to come in here
level headed' and i can't decide if miles gets sulky again or if he just laughs
hysterically
***** Chapter 60 *****
im such trash i keep wanting miles to get a call that he has to go to the
hospital bc his dad is dying and he's goes and he's like 'i'm just not ready to
forgive you yet but... pull through and maybe we can get back to that day at
the golf course, yeah? before it went bad.'
“Of course he’d hold grudges when I’m on my death bed,” Miles II laughs.
Miles grimaces, nodding and standing up to leave. “’s been swell.”
Tristan touches his arm in sympathy and Miles shakes his head almost
imperceptibly and Tris backs off bc he knows Miles so well im cry
then his dad actually dies and he goes to the funeral bc frankie and hunter
need him and he loves them and he takes tris for support bc it fuckin sucks to
hear everyone praising the person that psychologically fucked him over, that
chose to be in his life but made it hell
and then his grandma asks tris who he is and he says he's miles' partner tryna
be respectful and stay out of the way and she reacts badly and miles is like
let's go tris and then later they go back to the mansion for like food and chat
and stuff
and miles and tris are sitting on the same couch holding hands staring at the
ground solemnly and his grandma's like 'you two are sitting rather close? it's
a bit disrespectful don't you think?' meanwhile frankie is draped over jonah's
lap crying into his neck and miles is just like wtf absolutely fuck this in the
ass and he drags tristan off like 'i'm not needed here' so he can go away and
chill out because it hurts hearing not a bad word said about the man who chose
to be in his life but psychologically damaged him and hunter comes outside
following them and gets mad that miles is always leaving him and theres a huge
fight abt how miles had a different experience w their dad and having to listen
to people praise him fucking hurts and hunter’s like ‘you know what else
fucking hurts? my dad being dead’ and miles just stares for a sec and then hugs
him and they cry
And then later Tris does dishes to help out and miles’ grandma says he missed a
spot and miles is like ‘don’t be rude grandma jesus christ’ and they decide to
just go home after they finish the dishes together and they find out they both
prefer to wash and they have to compromise on who has to dry lmao
***** smfh *****
Chapter Summary
     chapter fucking sixty one STOP ME
what if miles texted tristan the day after grad and says "can we still talk?"
and tris leaves him on read for a bit while he changes his name from like "baby
<3 to "Miles" and miles is like oh jeez i guess we're not even talking anymore
wow fine whatever but then tris starts typing and he falls for him again and
gets all on the hook and desperate for his attention and everything
and tris says "of course. i'll always be here for you, you know that" and while
miles stares at that message considering saying 'but can we just talk about
whatever too' tris sends another text that says "i was never really done, i'd
never ever really decided to shut you out forever. i still want to know what's
going on in your head so i can help. but maybe you should find someone else and
teach them how to help you because i don't think it's the best idea for us to
talk about that heavy stuff anymore."
and miles' heart is broken like wtf are these mixed signals "i just miss you,
tris"
"i miss you too. but we did this for us. and we shouldn't get our hopes up like
we're getting back together if we have a chance to meet up again."
miles is fucking crushed and he types "ok" but doesnt send it nah man instead
he facetimes tristan
tris declines and sends "why"
and miles just calls again and tris picks up and says "oli's in the room"
before miles can say anything he would regret like idk what but he just wants
to make sure miles is informed about the situation
anyway
miles just ignores that and says "can't we do long distance?"
and tris is like "i - can't we text about this?"
and miles is like "no i wanna see your face, tris"
so trs is like mega sigh "we can't do long distance because we're both very
physical people and it wouldn't work out and i'd get jealous and you'd miss me
too much and it just..."
"i'd miss you anyway, tris."
"you -" he stops. "you deserve someone who can be with you. someone less
fragile. this will be good for you, miles, you just need some time to get over
me and -"
"six months i didn't get over you. then another six when you were in a coma. i
can fly back for -"
and tris is like "ok but you went back to girls every time you missed me and
couldn't have me. i - i - no. i don't mean girls i just mean other girls, like
other people, people who were just there. i can't handle that shit, miles, you
need to understand -"
they keep interrupting each other until oli's like "you guys either need to cut
each other out completely or get the fuck back together"
and tris takes a second and then says "oli's right."
and miles is like. shit. no i cant lose him and he says "please tris i still
need you"
"i know"
"i can't fucking survive a new country and college and challenging hard work
alone i need you"
"i know"
"please i - i can't lose you you're my rock you help me i need you"
"i know. we should get back together."
miles is like !!!! holy shit thank god fuck "oh my god"
tris is quick to say "we need to set ground rules. and we need good
communication, none of that 'drop it, i'm fine' bullshit anymore, okay?"
miles is like "yes yes anything i don't care i just need you i just want you"
so tris is obviously like "you have to care i need you to actually know whether
you can agree to this shit"
and they have a long ass talk where tris apologises for blaming miles for the
breakup it was just easier if they both got angry at each other miles had been
an angel and he's so so grateful for everything and miles is like babe it's ok
i understand i know you didn't wanna hold me back you wanted me to get over u
faster etc etc
and oli mediates a lil bit while they set ground rules and miles is like "can i
come over tomorrow before i fly out" and tris wants soooo bad to say yes but he
knows it'd be so hard to tear them apart and plus miles still hasn't packed bc
he's disorganised af so he says no but miles does anyway lmao and y'all know
they make out and promise each other the world and tell the other not to
promise that but then they DOUBLE promise
***** Chapter 62 *****
Chapter Summary
     imagine me being.......... not like this lmao
ok so tris wants to reverse their dynamic for a night and so tris is in bondage
being edged and denied and stuff and miles is trying to be cruel but he's a
total softie he can't really get very far with it but suddenly tris realises he
doesnt wanna be denied pleasure like yates denied him he never even touched his
dick tris never once got to cum with yates he just used his body and told him
he 'should probably go' immediately after
and anyway so now tris wants to cum right now immediately and he wants miles to
want it and miles' acting was pretty bad but good enough to make tristan
anxious that he secretly did like this and so he calls 'stop red i wanna cum'
kinda sobbing and miles is like okay babe in his soft voice you know the one he
used on hunter when he told him to put the gun down like he's being so gentle
with his voice and starts jacking tris pretty fast and trying to undo the wrist
cuffs with his free hand and tristan's hand flies to miles' arm that's freeing
him he just wants to /touch/ he needs to touch and not so much /be/ touched and
he starts crying but before miles can slow down and question him he quickly
says 'keep going keep going please' and miles suddenly Gets It and starts
telling him he didn't love the scene he just thought it was what tristan wanted
but he wants tristan - and tris is like 'don't call me that' and miles Gets It
Again bc yates called him that so he says ' 'm sorry tris. i want you to feel
good, babe, i want you to cum, i love you, i want you to, okay? cum for me,
tris' and he fiNALLY DOES he takes so long the poor darling
and he keeps crying and miles lets him out of all the bondage and kisses him so
sweet and brushes a hand over his hair and looks in his eyes and lies down next
to him and apologises and tris is like 'you couldn't have known' but miles is
like 'i'm sorry anyway' and wraps a protective arm around him or whatever the
line is that every triles fic ever has about miles protectively holding him
AND THEN tris falls asleep and miles falls asleep too and tris is supposed to
be home before curfew and his dad shows up at miles' house at like 11pm and
tris says he's rly sorry but he cant come home he needs miles rn and THEN his
dad starts getting all hoity-toity like 'if you wont obey the rules of my house
you should have asked for full custody from your mother' and aggressively
trying to Decide He's Leaving and miles gets triggered and tris is like well
fuck i'm sure as shit not leaving now, diana i'm so sorry about this we just
need to stay together right now and she tells mr milligan he should go and
miles is goin fuckin nuts like shit he's gonna hate me forever ill never get
his blessing to ask tristan to marry me and tris promises he'll tell his dad
everything tomorrow and swears he fully believes he needs to stay with miles
and miles is like no babe i have frankie and hunter if i need them i'll be okay
dont make ur dad angry over me and tris is like he'll come around and his dad
chimes in like not if you dont get your ass in my car right the hell now son
and tris gets eerily quiet and calm and finally tells his dad he was raped
half naked in bed with miles and miles' mom there he told his dad everything
and diana knew she should leave but miles is holding his hand while he cries
and after everything tristans dad is like 'i think you should come home and
we'll call your mother' and tristan just about loses his shit
***** Chapter 63 *****
Chapter Summary
     filth and angst from dms lmao
oh and the piece miles writes about what tris went through from his own
perspective and the challenges and beautiful moments that come with loving
someone who's experienced that kind of abuse
he turns it into spoken word and records it but wants to run it by tris first
bc it's intensely personal and he doesn't wanna put it in if tris isn't happy
with it
so tris is like this is your truth and it matters and it could help people but
at the same time i don't yet feel ok with you publishing it given that you got
it totally wrong not in the details but in how i felt about them. the confusion
and complexity is the hardest thing, not the memories, it's the constant
fluctuation between blaming myself for it all and being irreconcilably angry
and scared and even more so because i know i'm going to switch back to blaming
myself. it's a good piece and it's ready to be posted you did amazing it's
finished it's correct for what it is which is art from your perspective but im
worried i didn't explain it well enough to you bc you clearly don't understand
when i thought you did you made it so basic when the main issue is how nuanced
it was and also it has this feeling of speaking over me that im not comfortable
with but i probably just need to sleep on it and i'll be fine about it (he was
right)
then later miles writes a companion piece about how he did it wrong and how it
feels to have made something you were proud of that's now inherently incorrect
to you and wanting to change it but knowing it was artistically right the first
time but also so wrong and leaves it as prose and publishes it and tris is so
proud of him he absolutely STANS the piece
------------
imagine miles being a cocky asshole all through tris putting him in bondage,
saying how he can't wait for tristan inside him and all that, then tris just
gets the dildo machine and miles is like nooooo :( but then how high miles
would moan but then tris has just let it fuck him for like ten minutes and he's
so desperate but he can't cum from it so he's whining and struggling and trying
to move back but tris pulls him forward again by his hips and starts licking
around his pelvis like making him pant rly hard but only teasing him like he
doesn't actually get any closer but then miles is like 'oKAY i'm sorry i'm
sorry please' and tris sucks him off and he's almost screaming when he cums
y'all i'm so alive and then he fucks miles' mouth bc he's still in bondage and
miles fucking loves that
wait. wait. tris making miles suck him off and he hasn't cum yet so he's really
going for it then tris pulls out and finishes on his abs and miles is
surprisingly turned on by it
------------
but anyways so i was sad and thought ab them reuniting like. miles asks tris if
they can talk bc his dad said some shit and they text all night and they just
kinda. keep texting , a lot
and then like miles is coming home for christmas break or some shit and he asks
if he can see tris and tris leaves him on read for like thirty seconds and
miles is like !!!!!!!!!! fuck but then tris is like 'yeah i'd like that' and
miles fist pumps
and they hang out and they're like. intense
u know how theyre intense always
and so tris cant decide if it means anything like
but miles is like annoyed that he would only talk to him in a public place and
so he asks if they can go to his house and tris is like or mine? and miles is
like !!!!excuse me what are these mixed signals do u wanna or not!!!!
and like they go back to tris' house and chat in his living room and his mom
keeps coming in and offering them snacks and whatever bc she's a cool mom
and tris kinda cant decide still and miles eventually says like this isnt fair
can u just tell me what u want and tris blows up like I DONT KNOW and miles is
. u know. wounded that he yelled
and tris apologises and holds his hand and shit and miles is like what the fuck
is this
and they get back to 'normal' and start talking again about what they've been
up to which they already knew but they can talk about literally anything 100
times theyre sweet and tristan's mom comes home and
and they get rly close at one point but tris is like.. no...... my mom.... she
could....,,
and miles is fucking Annoyed he wants to be w him so bad but why tf does he
have to make excuses if he doesnt want that like when will tris just tell him
and he starts saying shit like if u dont wanna do this then fucking say it like
i wanna fight for each other but why r u Doing This what the fuckkkkk
and tris is like. im tired
and miles is like are u serious
'i'm tired'
'tris'
'miles are you listening to me'
'please'
and it's so extra like this super intense dramatic bullshit but eventually
miles just gives up for the night and leaves
and calls tris in the morning but like tris doesnt answer so he goes to
tristans house again and tris is like sigh what the fuck
but ya his mom invites him in bc she not-so-secretly loves him and it's .......
lmao.... they were besties dont lie
so he goes in and tris reluctantly hangs with him again and he says he doesnt
wanna talk abt it bc he's a dramatic fuck
and miles is just like ok let's just actually talk ab why ur not talking to me
then let's communicate and be healthy and shit and tris is like. melting
but eventually ya he admits he's scared and asks if theyre actually going to
work out this time and miles is like i have been telling u this entire time
that i want to fight for this no matter fucking what
and tris is like ok but im still scared we're gonna break each other's hearts
like....... srsly
and miles gets rly close to him again and tris is like 'no' but miles kisses
him anyway and they dont get any more intense it's just that and it's over in
like two seconds literally and tris won't look at him it's so sad and miles
knows he's gonna think that miles will think it's over bc he's watched too many
teen soaps so miles stays and just like,, holds him u know what i mean he just
sits next to him and it's like a *wattpad writer voice* silent promise
and tris just sits there a while and his mom comes back in and miles expects
him to jump away but he doesn't and he's like :3 yes :3
and they end up together obviously
------------
FUCKUFUKFKU UFCKUNFDFD UKF I WILL N E V E R EVER EVERRVEVR ERVREVEV RE GROW OUT
OF THE HC THAT TRIS CAN'T BOTTOM FOR YEARS BC OF TRAUMA AND MILES LOVES IT SO
IT'S FINE how am i supposed to just drop yates and his ED and his parents and
his insecurities and his destructive defence mechanisms like idk how people
accept loss like this
ok so tris is working through his fear of bottoming and they've fingered a
couple of times before
they're making out and tris is on top and they're just in boxers and miles asks
'how far you wanna go?' and tris thinks for a sec and sighs 'i want you inside
me' and kisses miles again and miles is a flirty fuck like 'mm? what part of
me?' and tris breathes 'your cock, asshole' a lil bit annoyed bc he's starting
to reeeeally like it and he kisses miles (who grins under his mouth) and grips
miles' cock from outside his briefs and miles lets out the most embarrassing
moan
and tris is like 'you know i'm ready' and he IS
------------
but like imagine they're going to have sex like normal and then miles guides
tristan's fingers to his own ass and tris is like "whoa, what?" all concerned
and like 'shouldn't we talk about this are u sure' type thing and miles is like
"it's okay; i've been practicing" and tris knows he doesn't need quite as much
caution wrt consent as tris does like they don't need to talk about it for days
they can just
And so he does and he's never cum so hard before especially since they
miraculously managed to cum simultaneously so miles is on top of him and he's
too weak to hold himself up properly so his lips are just kinda resting on
tristan's but he's breathing rly heavy and it's so fucking intimate and hot and
tris putshis hands on the sides of miles' waist and miles hums and rolls off
and starts laughing and moaning at the same time like idk how to describe but
anyway that's a canon compliant headcanon
------------
wow ive bn thinking a TON about tris admitting himself to hospital bc ED and
lISTEN IT'S PAINFUL BUT IT'S WORTH IT
imagine how broken he would sound when he walks in with miles and says "don't
let them let me leave"
and how hard it would be for miles to have to leave him there overnight until
visiting hours
------------
miles relapses one night at a bar and comes home to tris the next morning ,tris
was worried SICK
tris is like honey it's okay we're okay you're going to be okay come inside
but miles
says
i cheated, tris
and he can't look at tristan
tristan can't look at him
basically tris tells him to come in and they can talk bc he was intoxicated so
he wants to forgive him but it's So HARD like of course it's hard
so miles tells him he doesn't remember everything, he went in for a drink and
then he was dancing with someone and then he was on E and then he was walking
back home
basically idgaf anymore tris thinks he banged someone but miles is liike what
no no we just grinded and made out and then dsomeone offered us E and then they
got distracted and wandered off and then he was high and then he wa walking
home right
So tris is like ok s o it didn't go that far i guess......... but at what point
did this start how many drinks had you had
and miles was like idk four"? five?,, and tris is mad at himself for being
RELIEVED that miles was drunk but anyways miles is just apologising all the
fuck over the place promising never again and all that and tris shushes him and
says he needs some space to think and he wants to stay in the apartment while
he does that and for miles to go hang with his siblings or something and miles
won't go and tris starts raising his voice like 'i really need to process this
can you please just get out'
and miles is like 'at least it was a guy'
and tris is like. what. what the fuck. 'fuck you' and there has never been so
much intensity in any words ever spoken in all of history so miles finally
leaves and tris just sits on his couch and stares at a wall and cries for like
an hour straight
 
------------
ok so miles goes to hunter's room and asks if they can talk sometime he's not
busy (hunter is gaming and miles takes that to mean he is busy) and turns out
he came to apologise to hunter for not respecting his gaming and interests and
introversion and pushing him to do things he didn't wanna do even after he
promised to be a better brother and stop being a bully
so hunter's like wow thank you. we're cool. and anyway he asks if there's
anything he could do to be more supportive, if hunter has any beef about miels
not picking up on his feelings or anything and hunter somehow opened up and
said 'i like tris.' and miles is laughing a bit like 'uh, good, me too?
(?????)' and hunte'rs like. 'no. i mean i like him.' and he won;t look at miles
but he still doesn't seem ashamed it's like. idk. they both see it as a mutual
trust/respect thing,
miles is like ......?? ,,,,??? and softly says 'oh god hunter i'm so sorry'
and hunter's like yeah
and he starts trying to help like 'tristan isn't perfect you know he has a lot
of issues just like we do he's pretty fucked up' and hunter's like ....... lol
isn't everyone tho
and miles is like fair enough.
and they're quiet for a minute then miles is like 'you know, tristan has a lot
of respect for you-' and hunter cuts in like 'don't - don't do that. please
don't'
and anyway later the hollingsclan and tris and shay and lola all are having
pizza together idk and miles takes tris aside and asks him to tone down the
schmoop and be a little less touchy and says it's frankie like she's really sad
and lonely and he doesn't wanna hurt her
and tris is like oh of course oh jeez that's awful i'm sorry yes i will
absolutely keep it together for the poor darling
so then tris and miles go up to miles' room and tris starts like tearing miles'
clothes off like 'fuck i missed you' he's so extra
and miles is kinda hesitant bc he feels bad that he lied to tris and tris is
like ok what's going on cus i'm feelin kinda rejected here
and miles is all 'you know i wouldn't keep anything from you iif i didn't
absolutely have to, right? it's just not my thing to tell i'm sorry' and tris
is like so you're hiding something??? hhhhhhhhhhhh
and miles is like no listen ok i'm just trying to do the right thing by (an
almost imperceptible pause) her
and tris is like ok i believe u i trust you just tell me if i need to know
anything ok? and miles promises with all his lil heart
and then tris is walking to the kitchen to get water and he overhears frankie
saying how she's she's literally having the time of her life being single and
he goes back to miles like 'uh ??? so it was a straight up lie??' and miles
just begs him to drop it he can't tell him this secret
and tris concedes and just asks 'is everyone safe?' and miles is like oh yeah
it's not that kind of secret babe everything will be ok i'll tell you... i
guess when it's over?' and tris nEVER FINDS OUT
------------
OK SO WHAT IF tris and miles get back together while miles is in london and
theyre cute for three years until miles comes home n gets a job he loves in
toronto and it's so great until tris says he wants to audition for a cool pilot
filming in toronto as a pan character with a physical disability and miles is
like 'wow yeah go for it!!!!!! i'm so proud of you holy shit tris that's really
cool'
and tris is so nervous the day he's about to go, he's standing in front of the
mirror and miles snakes his arms around his waist and says 'ur gonna do great
babe your audition brings something to the character that just fucken
pressurises life into him and it's unexpected but still within what they're
looking for u!!! got this babe!!!' and tris is wearing a white band tee and
faded black jeans and that is important information because he is hot and on an
unrelated note he gets the role and is so excited and relieved that he can
still act even with the muscle stuff but after they film the pilot he's told
they're relocating to LA
and he tells miles this during sex and miles is like 'what the fuck - get the
fuck - why the fuck would you - jesus, tris, why would you do this right now'
and they stop and have a long talk and tris is like 'i have to do this for my
career and my soul it's my chance at my dream role and i'm good enough and i'm
finally not being typecast and my character is really going to make a
difference i know it! just like you knew your work was important enough to move
for'
and miles is like 'yes you... should go... :( but i love my job too :('
and tris is like 'hey we've survived long distance before' and miles is like
'ya but it wasnt fuckin fun'
anyway tris makes tons of time for him when he's over there, literally tells
him all about LA and says he'll hook him up if he ever wants to get into the tv
biz and facetimes him minimum twice a week, comes home twice in four months and
they make out the entire weekend and have amazing sex and just enjoy their skin
being together and oh god i forgot the best part
they're flirting light heartedly on imessage one night and tris asks 'okay if i
send you a video?'
and miles is like 'yeah i guess? what is it'
and tris says 'i trust you'
and miles is like '??'
and the video is like waist down, he's kneeling with his legs spread and he's
milking himself with a dildo, occasionally slowly stroking his cock and rocking
his hips forward a little sometimes and he's fucking dripping and at one point
he squeezes more precum out from the underside and u can hear him shakily
breathing and super quietly moaning and miles watches the whole thing before
responding
'thats the hottest fucking thing ive ever fucking seen'
and tris sends another video, in the same place but he cums, but he doesn't
touch his cock and u can see him gripping something idk sheets or furniture idk
he's trying real hard not to touch his cock while he cums just using the dildo
and his shuddering breaths show it too (miles suspects he's just always quieter
when he's alone but he knows miles gets off on hearing him moan which is why
he's a little more vocal when they fuck)
and miles was already jacking off to the first one but he cums with tris the
first time he watches the second one and calls tris and tris is like 'hey' all
casual
and miles is like still panting 'what the, fuck, was that' and tris says 'it
seemed like a good idea at the time' and he doesn't sound like he regrets it;
more like he's not turned on by it anymore bc he came
and miles tells him How Fucking Hot it was and how he doesn't deserve someone
So Fucking Hot and tris is like 'your turn next time. just not while i'm at
work ;)' and miles breathes like 'fuuuuck'
i think 'next time' miles would be like very vocal and say tristan's name and
he'd be gently jerking off with a ribbed sound in his cock pressing and feeling
along the length of it from the outside of his cock like he wouldn't move it or
anything he'd just be still marvelling at how it's even possible to have
something so good inside him and he'd take it so slow he'd send like six videos
before tris texts 'oh my god just cum already lmao'
***** Chapter 64 *****
what if miles texted tristan the day after grad and says "can we still talk?"
and tris leaves him on read for a bit while he changes his name from like "baby
<3" to "Miles" and miles is like oh jeez i guess we're not talking then fine
whatever but then tris starts typing and he falls for him again and gets all on
the hook and desperate for his attention and everything and tris says "of
course. i'll always be here for you, you know that" and while miles stares at
that message considering saying 'but can we just talk about whatever too' tris
sends another text that says "i was never really done, i'd never really decided
to shut you out forever. i still want to know what's going on in your head so i
can help. but maybe you should find someone else and teach them how to help you
because i don't think it's the best idea for us to talk about heavy stuff
anymore."
and miles' heart is broken like wtf are these mixed signals "i just miss you,
tris"
"i miss you too. but we did this for us. and we shouldn't get our hopes up like
we're getting back together if we have a chance to meet up again."
miles is fucking crushed and he types "ok" but doesnt send it nah man instead
he facetimes tristan
tris declines and sends "why"
and miles just calls again and tris picks up and says "oli's in the room"
before miles can say anything he would regret like idk what but he just wants
to make sure miles is informed about the situation
anyway
miles just ignores that and says "can't we do long distance?"
and tris is like "i - can't we text about this?"
and miles is like "no i wanna see your face, tris"
so trs is like mega sigh "we can't do long distance because we're both very
physical people and it wouldn't work out and i'd get jealous and you'd miss me
too much and it just..."
"i'd miss you anyway, tris."
"you -" he stops. "you deserve someone who can be with you. someone less
fragile. this will be good for you, miles, you just need some time to get over
me and -"
"six months i didn't get over you. then another six when you were in a coma. i
can fly back for -"
and tris is like "ok but you went back to girls every time you missed me and
couldn't have me. i - i - no. i don't mean girls i just mean other people,
people who were just there. i can't handle that shit, miles, you need to
understand -"
they keep interrupting each other until oli's like "you guys eiter need to cut
each other out completely or get the fuck back together. you can't continue
like this."
and tris takes a second and then says "oli's right."
and miles is like. shit. no i cant lose him and he says "please tris i still
need you"
"i know"
"i can't fucking survive a new country and college and hard work alone i need
you"
"i know"
"please i - i can't lose you you're my rock you help me i need you"
"i know. we should get back together."
miles is like !!!! holy shit thank god fuck "oh my god"
tris is quick to say "we need to set ground rules. and we need good
communication, none of that 'drop it, i'm fine' bullshit anymore, okay?"
miles is like "yes yes anything i dont care i just need you"
so tris is obviously like "you have to care i need you to actually know whether
you can agree to this shit"
and they have a long talk and oli mediates a lil bit and miles is like "can i
come over tomorrow before i fly out" and tris wants soooo bad to say yes but he
knows it'd be so hard to tear them apart and plus miles still hasn't packed bc
he's disorganised af so he says no but miles does anyway lmao
***** Chapter 65 *****
Chapter Summary
     last one for tonight lmao
ok so
miles is in london and sometimes (all the time) he texts tris to talk about
stuff he's going through bc tris is still his rock lmao aw
but one day tristan texts miles out of the blue for once like 'can i talk to
you'
and miles responds instantly 'of course' and then immediately keeps typing
'what's up?'
tris asks 'are you busy?' and miles says 'no' and tris doesn't respond so miles
send a selfie from his bed and says 'i'm really not'
tris leaves him on read (but saves the pic bc he's still into him lmao) and
miles texts again 'talk to me'
tris says 'don't worry it really doesn't matter i promise' but obviously miles
is like 'come on' 'even if it doesn't matter i still care'
and tris is like 'it's heavy. i don't want to put this on you. i'll find
someone else who can handle it don't worry about it seriously i'm sorry'
miles keeps prompting him to talk and ends up calling him and tris answers bc
he thinks if he says 'it's fine, i promise' convincingly enough that miles will
drop it but lol no
so he hangs up bc miles doesn't wanna let it go and miles calls him back and he
declines three times but by the fourth time it's getting annoying so he picks
up to yell at him but miles says 'i still care about you, tris. i know it was
always about me with us but i want to listen now. please. talk to me.'
tris says 'are you sure you can do this? some people can't handle heavy stuff
and that's okay'
and they end up talkin about rly deep stuff
***** sorry *****
Chapter Summary
     cw: ed
oh but wait what if instead tris got to LA for a dream role and the directors
and producers and whatever were like 'ok so we'll need you to lose about ten
pounds by the end of next month' and tris is like 'wait what' and they're like
'oh yeah your character's going to have an eating disorder' and tris is like
'ok well hang on /i/ actually have an eating disorder' and they're like 'great!
you can use that!' and he's like ??? what the fuck is this disgusting - 'no - i
- i can't lose any weight. i love this role so much but not to death, i can't
do that i'm sorry.'
and they're like 'ok well can you gain some before we reshoot the pilot and
then lose it around block three?'
and he's like 'no. i genuinely can't. i'm sorry. i can't safely change my
weight, i'm on an eating plan and if i change it around i'll slip. i know my
limits, and i can't do this for you, i'm really sorry. i wish i could but i
have to take care of myself.'
so there're like four people in the room and there's a woman who looks
concerned but stays quiet and the other three are White Men™ and one of them
says 'we really don't want to have to recast the part.'
and tris is gettin g pissed off now like 'so you'd rather i passed out on set
or had a heart attack? i guess i thought this project was supposed to be
supportive of mental health issues but you can't even look after your own cast?
there's make up, there's prosthetics, fat suits, bulky clothes - i'm not
risking my life no matter how much i love what we're doing.'
they just frown at him and another one is all 'we understand this is a
difficult situation and if there's anything we can do to support you while you
lose -'
and tris just stands up and walks the fuck out and calls miles and starts
crying and he can't even explain he's crying so hard so miles is like 'do youn
eed me to come to you?' note this is a five hour flight and tris knows this and
he says 'yes' and miles is like grabbing his wallet and running to his car and
shit and he keeps calling and texting tris when he lands but he won't answer so
he goes to tristan's apartment and knocks and calls his phone again
and he knows where the spare key is so he walks in and finds him with chocolate
and fast food wrappers all over the place and tris is crying and trying to tidy
up but miles stops him and hugs him tight and tris fucking sobs 'if i don't
lose weight i'm fired so i have to gain it and then lose it' and miles is like
speechless he's just like 'oh god tris that's awful honey i'm so sorry' and for
like an hour they sit on tristan's bed feeling things and eventually tris tells
him everything that happened and miles is like 'let's sue them' and tris is
like 'um shut the fuck up no i want this job more than anything i'll just have
to gain a bunch and then lose it again as safely as i can i'm just feeling like
fucking garbage right now and i expect changing my nutrition is going to make
me feel gross and tired and shit' and miles is like 'ok well i'm staying here
then.' and tris obviously tries to fight but miles just says 'you need me.' and
tris knows he's right and he feels terrible but also not completely terrible bc
at least they can hold hands which miles will never admit he LOVES
and long story short (there's no long story tbh) miles moves to LA to support
tris bc the role is very emotionally demanding at first but then it's fine as
the character recovers but by then miles loves LA and has Connections and gets
a job at something like buzzfeed but less shit maybe like seriously.tv and they
move in together it's way cute
***** war cw *****
Chapter Summary
     i wasnt going anywhere w this i just started Thinking /
ive been watching jericho so naturally i imagined miles and tris home for
christmas at the mansion (they live in LA where tris is an up-and-coming Act-or
and while m2 and diana are out theyre playin board games just frankie tris and
miles bc hunter doesnt wanna do that shit and FOR ONCE everyone respects that
and they let him hang in his room and anyway they're havin a great time, miles
n frankie are being all competitive and tris is watching all warm inside
then zoë calls tris in a frenzy asking if he's ok, he's like 'yeah zo i'm fine
i'm fine what's wrong' and she tells him a huge bomb went off in LA and he's
like guys shut up n turns on the tv and flips to the news and there's reporters
talking about how LA and DC and NY and tons of big US cities were bombed
and frankie's whispering oh my god... oh my god
tris is in shock his career is gone his life there 99% of his friends are gone
he's 5 seconds away from crying
miles comes over to hold tris n he's staring at the tv sickened at himself for
the thought that at least maya's probably dead and not slipping because of the
tragedy
suddenly bombs start to go off nearby and frankie screams and they huddle
together on the floor and miles is like trying to protect their bodies
squeezing his eyes shut thinking 'hunter hunter hunter' and one goes off REALLY
CLOSE it shatters a couple windows and frankie is praying desperately tris is
just shaking with glassy eyes and miles says 'they won't strike twice in the
same place they'll go further away it's okay we'll be okay'
the reporter stops and says 'fuck' before the tv turns to static and tris
starts crying
they start to get quieter and further away and frankie is gripping one of
tristan's hands tight and one of miles' hands and they're both gently squeezing
back
tris whispers 'what do we do?'
miles takes a deep breath and says 'we wait another minute to be safe and then
we go get hunter'
frankie lets out a sob and lets go of miles' hand to cover her mouth and she
doesnt know why miles' hand and not tristan's and she doesn't think much of it
and neither do they but it's just bc it was her dominant hand
tris whispers 'then what?' and miles sets his jaw and says 'either... we lock
down or we scavenge. we might be on our own for a while.'
tristan and frankie look at him in pure terror and miles continues 'text your
friends now. power might go out soon.'
'and say what?' frankie doesn't know why she's still whispering, or more
accurately, whisper-shrieking, or why she was whispering at all.
'tell 'em you're okay and you love 'em.' miles stands up, solemn.
'well - can't we invite them here?'
miles tersely says 'no.'
tris touches his arm gently and miles sighs.
'it's not safe. we might get low on food, franks. we might be on our own for a
while. we might have to... defend ourselves. we have to be careful. think
rationally.'
'they're probably half dead anyway! you heard!' she gestures aimlessly around,
then shakes her head, fearfully exhaling. 'i don't care.'
she gets her phone out of her pocket. miles tries to grab it off of her, but
tris pushes him back with his whole body, pulling his hands down with his own,
and locking their fingers together.
'let's go check on hunter, okay?'
miles finally pulls his gaze away from frankie, frustrated and concerned, and
makes eye contact with tris. he's calmed. he nods, and after a moment, he
starts off to hunter's room.
tris picks up his phone, abandoned on the floor, and checks his recents to
calls zoë back while they walk up to hunter's room. tristan waits as it dials,
crumbles slightly when it rings out, and swallows roughly. he turns the
brightness down and closes all his apps, switches off silent, and pockets his
phone as they round the corner.
'hunter? you okay?' miles calls as they get closer. 'we're all okay; can you
hear us?'
'i'm trapped in here; you have to kick it in'
miles glances at the cracked wall around the doorframe and mentally kicks
himself for not noticing
'uh... ye- okay, stand back'
he kicks open hunter's door and hunter steps out to a tight bear grip from
miles.
'shay's okay!' frankie exclaims, running up the corridor. 'she's staying with
her parents though; her dad was a boy scout coach or something. lo hasn't
responded yet.'
miles and tris share a look of guilty relief as miles steps back from hunter.
'so what's the plan?' hunter asks, rather non-chalantly, mildly offending
frankie.
'i think we stay here and defend. i don't know the extent here, but they got
the big US cities and I think they were nuked. i doubt these were, though.'
'shit. NY?'
'yeah.'
'fallout could be bad. we gotta protect the house.'
'couple windows are busted but we can tape the doors down -'
frankie interjects 'how the fuck do you guys know this much about nuclear
bombs?'
'video games' they reply simultaneously, and tristan almost smiles.
hunter takes a steady breath. 'okay. so we gotta duct tape ourselves in. leave
no door frame uncovered. trash bags over the windows, and collect as much water
as we can. we gotta bring food in, maybe books, candles - frankie, do you still
have that phone charger that runs on batteries? we might need that. we have
about two hours before the fallout reaches us. half life should be safe after
minimum twelve hours, but after that don't touch anything exposed. got that?'
miles touches hunter's shoulder. 'bud, this is great, you're doing great, but
tris and frankie are kind of in shock right now so we need to break it down for
them. tris and i'll fill buckets of water from the laundry and bring them back
here, and some food too. hunter's room has no windows so it's safest here.
frankie, you're on candles, your charger and batteries. '
'okay. got it'
and basically idk what happens after that i like to think foreign aid comes and
the war is won real quick and tris' family are ok but diana and m2 are gone
***** Chapter 68 *****
Chapter Summary
     i love thinking ab tris in LA and miles supporting him (ED cn)
no listen, ok so tris comes home one night after miles moved to LA bc of that
rly hard role that deals with eating disorders and he had that Breakdown and
miles didnt wanna leave him alone so he moved but found an awesome job he loves
with super flexible hours ok yeah anyway
so miles is like 'hey babe how was your day' and tris is like 'not too good
actually but idwt talk about it' and miles is like 'i have a surprise for you'
and tris is like 'babe please not now, i cant go out tonight, i dont wanna
think ab new sex toys or whatever' and miles is like 'i think ur gonna like it'
and tris gives a weary smile
and miles produces a bag of lush bath bombs and tells tris he's making his fave
for dinner and he'll leave him alone and let him relax and tris is like about
to cry it's so sweet
he goes over and gives miles the sweetest kiss and presses their foreheads
together and obviously miles pulls their hips together bc he can't help himself
but it's not intended to be sexual and tris knows that he still gets in real
close and whispers 'can you suck me off real nice later?'
and miles grins and says 'it would be my absolute pleasure' and kisses tris and
goes to the kitchen to start making dinner
and tris has a nice soft bath with like eight bath bombs that he plans the
colours out really carefully first and puts some on his insta and snap stories
with captions like ‘my boyfriend is fucking amazing’ and he’s listening to like
agnes obel or aurora or some pretty white european shit and puts his phone down
and just chills the fuck out
then he takes a Hot pic from the bath and snaps it to miles (who screenshots bc
he's That Asshole but he would never actually share anything and in any case he
immediately chats back 'fuck' 'i love you' 'you're so hot' 'fuck i love you so
much fuck') and tris gets out of the bath eventually and puts on his comfiest
clothes
and goes to the kitchen and kisses miles real sweet and leans against the
counter watching miles cook bc he's soooo cute the way he smiles glancing up at
him and sometimes kisses him and tris is also cute with his hoodie sleeves too
long and his lil fingers just peeking out and his wet curly hair and he smells
amazing and he occasionally helps grab things miles needs like plates but also
miles silently gets tris to taste the sauce or something and tris silently
hands him the salt from behind him
then they eat in almost silence except tris is occasionally like 'this is
fucking amazing' or (softly) 'i love you' (and miles says it back just as soft)
and tris realises miles has been trying so hard not to make any noise he didn't
playing his cooking music (yes he's a dork who has a cooking playlist) and he
did all the loud chopping and whatever before tris got out of the bath and he's
trying to be super quiet
and tris just gets so overwhelmed he cries and miles is like 'oh shit babe was
ur day that bad?' kinda thing and tris is like 'no you are so good you are so
pure an angel too good for this world fukckkx!!!'
so then they are happy together for a bit then they go to bed intending to fuck
but instead they end up just lying there and touching innocently like playing
with fingers and hair and just making eye contact then they start kissing and
tris is down so he's like 'so how about that blowjob'
and god miles is so gentle somehow even though he ends up deepthroating he's
doing it softly and tris just about falls in love with miles' tongue and miles
and tris both know it's ok if he doesn't get miles off this time and he would
do the same if miles was having a hard time and so it's all cool and the next
day he wakes up and goes to work so refreshed feeling so calm and loved and
good that they gotta tell him to act sadder lmao
***** lmao *****
Chapter Summary
     this is uh. this is @triles' fault
ok so miles goes to hunter's room and asks if they can talk sometime he's not
busy (hunter is gaming and miles takes that to mean he is busy) and turns out
he came to apologise to hunter for not respecting his gaming and interests and
introversion and pushing him to do things he didn't wanna do even after he
promised to be a better brother and stop being a bully
so hunter's like wow thank you. we're cool. and anyway he asks if there's
anything he could do to be more supportive, if hunter has any beef about miels
not picking up on his feelings or anything and hunter somehow opened up and
said 'i like tris.' and miles is laughing a bit like 'uh, good, me too?
(?????)' and hunte'rs like. 'no. i mean i like him.' and he won;t look at miles
but he still doesn't seem ashamed it's like. idk. they both see it as a mutual
trust/respect thing,
miles is like ......?? ,,,,??? and softly says 'oh god hunter i'm so sorry'
and hunter's like yeah
and he starts trying to help like 'tristan isn't perfect you know he has a lot
of issues just like we do he's pretty fucked up' and hunter's like ....... lol
isn't everyone tho
and miles is like fair enough.
and they're quiet for a minute then miles is like 'you know, tristan has a lot
of respect for you-' and hunter cuts in like 'don't - don't do that. please
don't'
and anyway later the hollingsclan and tris and shay and lola all are having
pizza together idk and miles takes tris aside and asks him to tone down the
schmoop and be a little less touchy and says it's because of frankie like she's
really sad and lonely and he doesn't wanna hurt her
and tris is like oh of course oh jeez that's awful i'm sorry yes i will
absolutely keep it together for the poor darling
so then tris and miles go up to miles' room and tris starts like tearing miles'
clothes off like 'fuck i missed you' he's so extra
and miles is kinda hesitant bc he feels bad that he lied to tris and tris is
like ok what's going on cus i'm feelin kinda rejected here
and miles is all 'you know i wouldn't keep anything from you iif i didn't
absolutely have to, right? it's just not my thing to tell i'm sorry' and tris
is like so you're hiding something??? hhhhhhhhhhhh
and miles is like no listen ok i'm just trying to do the right thing by (an
almost imperceptible pause) her
and tris is like ok i believe u i trust you just tell me if i need to know
anything ok? and miles promises with all his lil heart
and then tris is walking to the kitchen to get water and he overhears frankie
saying how she's she's literally having the time of her life being single and
he goes back to miles like 'uh ??? so it was a straight up lie??' and miles
just begs him to drop it he can't tell him this secret
and tris concedes and just asks 'is everyone safe?' and miles is like 'oh yeah
it's not that kind of secret babe everything will be ok i'll tell you... i
guess when it's over?' and tris nEVER FINDS OUT
***** Chapter 70 *****
Chapter Summary
     im ssoft
wait but i cant stop thinkin ab parent!miles bein all 'tris i think we should
give her the talk' and tris is like '?? she's eight??' and miles would be like
'yeah but what if she starts puberty early i think maybe we should just make
sure she knows what's going on a while beforehand?' and tris is like 'hhhhh ok
but im Not Prepared' and miles would be all 'yeah well i think maybe to avoid
feeling confronted we should just do it one on one like just one of us and have
a bonding day and get some snacks and make her comfortable for a nice chat or
somethin'
and tris is like 'yeah ok but i feel like it should be u since u seem like u
have it under control?' and miles is like 'well u could if u want i dont mind
either way'
and tris is like 'i dont wanna be a dick but i still cant talk ab ... *chokes*
vaginas... idek what they look like u probably know more ab the subjects of
hetero sex AND girl on girl sex and all the other stuff so maybe yeah u would
be better'
and miles is like 'aight i'll do it tomorrow then' and tris is like wow yep ok
then it's happening
and so miles and their daughter (who they raised pretty gender neutral but
she's a girly girl anyway) have this nice day when they get dad-daughter brunch
and watch a movie she wanted to watch and miles spends the whole day with her
having fun while tris takes their other younger kid to the dentist and buys him
school clothes and idk they just chill
and in the afternoon miles says he wanted to talk to the daughter ab somethin
and she's like 'oh jeez is this The Talk' and he's like 'you know ab the talk?'
and she's like 'i don't know it all but i've heard it's gross :///' and he's
like 'ok tell me what you've heard then' and they have this rly cute discussion
and he gets out an illustrated book and tells her all ab everything and is rly
consent oriented he's so sweet with her and they raised their kids to ask
questions and be curious and so the daughter asks so many questions and they
get into miles' sexuality and how he knew and his past partners and tris'
nonmonophobia and all this cool stuff that he's so open with her ab and she's
like 'so when will i know what i am? how can i figure it out faster? and he's
like uh well ?? u just kinda ?? figure it out over time ? i guess?
experimenting SAFELY VERY SAFELY and NOT UNTIL YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH AND READY but
u can always talk to me okay?'
and tris comes home and she asks him questions too ab what his sex ed was like
and how he knew he was gay and all this cute stuff and he's honest ab not
knowing as much ab traditionally female bodies as other people but he promises
to learn and always be there for her too
and then like six years later she comes to them and is like 'i dont wanna be
asexual but i think i am and it's annoying bc i just wanna be a fucking lesbian
bc girls are so lovely' and miles suggests she might be elsewhere ace spec and
she's like 'hm yr right maybe i'll date a bit and see if anything happens' and
they have a group hug
***** aw *****
Chapter Summary
     more angsty/cute shit (cw EDs, alcohol) wow i rly love coming back to
     this and reading soft triles
i keep thinking ab drunk tris coming home after his last day on set bc his
character dies from starvation and it was really hard to film and he starts
swearing at miles for asking him to eat something and miles pretending he didnt
call an ambulance for him bc he hasn't eaten in god knows how long and they
just sit together and miles holds him while he tries to cry but cant and when
tris hears the paramedics at the door he shoves miles in anger while snarling
at him hella drunk and then he ends up in hospital and miles cant handle him
being so rude and making him feel unsafe and like he might try to hurt him
again physically or emotionally so he talks to the doctors who say his BAC is
.22 theyre gonna have to rehydrate him with a banana bag and shit and miles is
freaking out like i cant do this i need to go home and take care of myself and
i dont think me being here is helping anyone so im gonna go and he goes back in
to say goodbye to tris and tris is clingy and like mad at him like you cant
leave me here why would you do this to me and miles is like trying really hard
to hold it together and he says he'll be back at 7am by which time tris would
be hungover probably and too grumpy and not wanna wake up and miles knows that
so he arranges for them to let him in and just let him sit with tris n quietly
hold his hand while he grumbles at him fuck off and then he gets help and stuff
 
===============================================================================
 
 
ok but on miles' birthday tris makes sure he sleeps over so miles gets to be in
his own bed but next to tris and he sets his alarm quietly but super early and
apologises when it goes off and pretends to go back to sleep but doesn't,
meanwhile miles Actually goes back to sleep and tris wakes him up way later
with a really slow teasing blowjob and then hops on the dick all stretched and
ready to go which they'd only done like four times before but tris whispers
like 'i promise' meaning he promises he's ok and he's not pushing himself just
bc it's miles' birthday bc they basically communicate without words in my head
but whatever and then they fuck passionately with lots of kissing and lots of
rolling bodies together and then they shower together and tris at some point
has ordered miles' fave takeout for breakfast somehow and miles is just like.
fuck. i have the actual best boyfriend. Ever
 
===============================================================================
 
ok so famous!miles comes home one night while famous!tris is live on insta and
tris is like hey babe how are you etc and miles is a bit cold to him and pushes
tris off when he comes to kiss him and then tris is hurt but hides it and says
he knows miles will come talk to him later when he's feeling okay and not to
jump on him he's obviously going through something tough right now etc
and miles gets changed and waits til tris stops vidding and comes back out and
finds tris on the couch and just sits next to him and says 'i'm sorry' and tris
is like 'hey it's okay just tell me what's going on' and it 's so c u te and
miles is like 'i just had a bad day. i don't wanna talk about it though' and
tris is like okay that's okay and they just sit there and so miles tweets from
tristan's phone that he was sorry and they caught him at a stressful time and
he's apologised to tris and etc
and then they just sit there and tris holds miles and he closes his eyes n
nuzzles into tristan and after a minute he says 'i'm not sad; i'm just...
unwinding' and tris is gently scratching into miles' scalp bc he loves that
he's basically a dog lmfao anyway tris speaks all soft like 'mkay. this good?'
referring to the scalp thing and miles is like 'mmm. so good.' and starts
playing with the fingers on tristan's other hand im so soft they're so soft
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