Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12851481.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      방탄소년단_|_Bangtan_Boys_|_BTS
  Relationship:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga/Park_Jimin, Kim_Namjoon_|_Rap_Monster/Kim_Seokjin_|
      Jin, Jeon_Jungkook/Kim_Taehyung_|_V
  Character:
      Min_Yoongi_|_Suga, Park_Jimin_(BTS), Kim_Namjoon_|_Rap_Monster, Kim
      Seokjin_|_Jin, Kim_Taehyung_|_V, Jeon_Jungkook, Jung_Hoseok_|_J-Hope,
      Park_Chanyeol
  Additional Tags:
      Other_Fandoms_Not_Mentioned_in_Tags, Step-Brothers, Step-Sibling_Incest,
      Mental_Health_Issues, Emotional_Hurt, Implied/Referenced_Cheating,
      Implied/Referenced_Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced_Underage_Sex, Praise
      Kink, Voice_Kink, Gay_Sex, Semi-Public_Sex, Tags_May_Change, Tags_Are
      Hard, just_read_the_damned_thing, its_hard_to_really_cover_everything,
      Wattpad_Saw_It_First, but_fuck_wattpad, am_i_allowed_to_say_that, already
      did_oops, Jealousy, and_ummmmm_lots_of_fucked_up_shit_that_honestly,
      hahahaha_i_hate_me, also_idk_if_i_made_yoongi_a_cannibal_or_a_vampire
      loL, Dubious_Consent
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-11-28 Updated: 2018-03-21 Chapters: 30/? Words: 42106
****** hyung (형) ******
by autumn_serenity
Summary
     “one of these days, you’ll get caught up in the thrill and won’t be
     able to find your way out.”
     jimin swore to never get shitfaced ever again after loudly professing
     his crush on yoongi—twice. he thinks karma finally got back to him
     two years later, when his mother remarries to none other than
     yoongi’s father.
     AKA the yoonmin fic no one asked for :’)
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** prologue: drowning *****
i was drowning.
drowning in the pounding bass of the music, drowning in his gaze, drowning in
alcohol.
i was drowning in my own feelings.
the turmoil grew to be too much and i desperately looked for anything to chase
it away. there was nothing. nothing. nothing. nothing but the heat radiating
off his body, the smell of vodka clinging to his lips. nothing but the
thrumming of the windows shaking against their will, trying to fight against
the music playing.
his eyes flickered down to my lips and looked back up to meet my gaze just as
quickly.
it was then when i completely lost my inhibitions and hungrily pressed my lips
against his.
***** creativity flow *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin just wants some peace and quiet. can you really blame him when
     his step-brother is the complete opposite?
"ask her if you can sleep over! we promised we'd binge watch some movies once
every month and we haven't done anything for this one! tick tock, pal!"
jimin flinched as taehyung's voice ascended in volume, pulling the phone away
from his ear a little. "'kay, let me just finish typing up my essay and i'll be
on my way. do you need me to bring anything?" jimin asked before stifling a
yawn.
"bring whatever you want! oh, joon's here! i'll ask him to buy us some food!"
and he was gone before the other could say anything else, the line dead. he
threw his phone to the bed, swivelling around in the leather desk chair and
cracking his fingers once he faced the computer.
only two more pages....
"strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words..." jimin
frowned, slamming his fingertips on the keyboard. this was not happening right
now. especially not roberta flack. why roberta flack? it was almost as if his
mind had been read, because the song increased in volume even more, making
jimin groan in exasperation. "killing me softly... with his song..." he tried
concentrating but he grew more and more irritated by the second, knee bouncing
up and down, fingernails tap dancing on the desk's polished surface. finally,
after almost a minute of roberta flack belting out, jimin saved his essay draft
just in case of any more bad luck today and stood up from his desk chair,
yanking his room door open and stalking towards the other door. it was an
unfortunately short distance from his.
it's been more than six months and he was just about tired of his step-
brother's bullshit.
he yanked the door open unceremoniously, ready to go off on the older of the
two, but was met with an empty room. there were just a few empty water bottles
on his night stand, a bottle of painkillers, and a bunch of wadded papers on
the floor, seemingly thrown out randomly. what could yoongi be doing? what was
he writing? but he really couldn't care less right now, because the vibration
of the music was even stronger here, making jimin feel like his bones would
disintegrate any time now.  the younger looked around, stepping in completely
to look for some sort of remote or switch to turn the damn song off. as much as
he loved roberta flack, today was just not the day.
"what are you doing here?" shouted a voice behind him, barely making it through
roberta's unnecessary harmonising. jimin whisked around, eyes wide as he made
eye contact with his step-brother who had just shoved the door close with his
back.
he hated eye contact.
especially with this cretin.
"i asked what are you doing here!" yoongi called out again, crossing his arms.
jimin cleared his throat, ignoring his heart hammering against his chest,
mirroring the music.
"i came to tell you to turn the volume down! it's too loud!"
yoongi's eyes narrowed in confusion, walking closer to jimin. "sorry, shortie,
what?" he called out again.
"put the volume down, you fucking emo!" yoongi stepped even closer, arms
uncrossing and hand cupping his ear. jimin just about lost his sanity along
with his voice, pulling yoongi by the neck and yelling into his ear. "turn the
fucking music down or so help me, brother dearest!" he spat, his anger
unbottling at just the right volume to make yoongi wince and cover his ear. the
older just smirked, though, using his other hand to latch onto one of jimin's
on his neck and slowly bring it away from his nape. their gazes met and once
again jimin felt the uncomfortable pressure of eye contact, yanking both his
hands away.
yoongi took his cellphone from his pocket and lowered the volume just as
another song, completely different in genre, began playing.
"the sky is a neighbourhood," the male voice began. jimin recognised this as
dave grohl's voice and panicked, trying to reach for yoongi's phone.
"i haven't listened to the new album yet, don't spoil it!" jimin whined as
yoongi tip-toed and stretched his arm as high up as he could, his lips curling
up bitterly. "yoongi! come on, don't do this to me!" jimin jumped and took the
phone from him, pressing skip.
"i've felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves,"
the next song began just as yoongi took his phone back. seriously? slipknot?
jimin thought bitterly. who listens to them anymore?
"i'm painting. music helps the creative flow. you yourself should know that by
now."
jimin eyed his step-brother warily. "you. painting? painting what? a
graveyard?" jimin stifled a giggle but yoongi's brow shot up, crossing his arms
yet again. "oh, you can't be serious."
"it's for my art class. we picked a random word from a fishbowl. i got
cemetery. i think it's coming along great..."
yoongi looked down and away at that, cheeks slightly dusted rose. that was a
rare look on him, jimin realised. "w-well, since i paint all the time, can i
see? just so you get an artist's point of view."
yoongi snorted, looking back at him. "if you just want to snoop, go for it. i'm
in a good mood today." he slid his black beanie off, his hair a mess as he
tried to ruffle it out of the beanie's shape. jimin noticed he wasn't wearing
all black today, like he tends to, opting for faded blue jeans (almost ripped
to shreds like the emo trash he is) and a white v-neck shirt, which revealed
the reason for his grounding: a few butterflies peppering his collarbone,
rising up to his neck.
jimin spun around and made his way to the desk, where the painting lied almost
done. he had to hand it to him, yoongi knew how to work with watercolour, and
the landscape wasn't as grim as he thought it'd be. "the teacher wants us to
mix mediums, so the background will be watercolours and i'm thinking of either
oils or acrylics for the foreground... to be honest, this is my second attempt.
let's just say applying watercolours on top of pastels didn't really work
out..." jimin turned around to smile at his step-brother, as alien as that felt
nowadays.
"it's great, though. this is actually very good."
yoongi smirked. "which is exactly why i need music at high volumes. creativity
fuel," he drawled, flapping his phone between his fingers before switching
songs and sliding the volume back up to its maximum. where were the damned
speakers? jimin wailed internally. why was the sound so intense? yoongi stood
up on his bed, jumping up and down, singing along as loudly as he could.
"can we forget about the things i said when i was drunk?! i didn't mean to call
you that!" yoongi belted out, bouncing up and down on the bed. jimin stalked to
him and yanked him down by the legs, yoongi's mouth forming a little "o" with
eyes wide open. but then he laughed, covering his face with a pale, veiny hand.
his shirt had risen up a little, and jimin could see a faint happy trail, some
moles peppered around his navel, and some black ink peeking from the waistband
of his jeans. new tattoo? this boy was just asking for trouble. his eyes
trailed up to the other tattoo, noticing the blue veins through his pale skin,
peachy lips no longer screwed up into a smirk, brown eyes hooded beneath pretty
eyelashes.
jimin sighed, cursing his step brother internally for being kind of gorgeous.
yoongi muted the music, letting out a husky chuckle that made jimin jump.
"you know, if you wanted me this badly... there's other ways, jimin. you didn't
have to yank me down like that."
no, definitely not gorgeous. at all.
"bye," jimin threw out, making his way out as yoongi's laugh was drowned by his
once again boisterous music. he slid into his own room, slipping some boots on
and taking off his long-sleeve, opting for a turtle-neck knitted jumper. he
took his phone, making sure his debit card was in the case, and sped down the
stairs, heading to the kitchen. "ma, i'm heading out! i need a break from
this," he pleaded, pointing at a glass of juice on the counter, the contents
vibrating to metallica's the unforgiven. his mum giggled, eyes sparkling. jimin
relaxed a little at the sight. "aren't you even a bit angry, mum? this has been
going on for months!"
"it's some good music, though. besides, you listen to most of these artists,
too." she took the cup of juice, taking a swig.
"not anymore."
"you stopped when we moved in here. i wonder why?"
"i'm going to taehyung's," jimin bit off, frowning.
"come back in time for dinner. please, hon."
with a nod at his smiling mother, jimin began his walk to his best friend's
house, leaving the thumping bass and rattling windows behind.
***** movie night *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin ruins his own chance at escaping the hell that is his house;
     taehyung reminds jimin of his words and actions from two years back.
"honestly, i don't understand. just what is his music taste?"
taehyung stared at his best friend in confusion, buttoning his cardigan. "dude,
jimin, you guys have the exact same music taste, from what you've told me.
coldplay, metallica, foo fighters, roberta fucking flack. i don't understand
why you two don't get along," he admitted, turning around to look at himself in
the mirror one last time.
"i tried. god knows i did! a whole two months of trying... he just brushed
every attempt off... why can't we get along like jungkook and jin? they're step
brothers and they're so chill with each other!" jimin lied down on his back,
reaching for one of taehyung's down pillows.
"well," taehyung began with a chuckle. jimin turned to him swiftly and taehyung
wiggled his brows. "maybe there's just sexual tension between you t—." he
caught the heavy pillow just in time, laughing.
"shut up shut up shut up shut up!" jimin wailed, covering his face with his
small hands. "you're gross!"
taehyung walked to the bed and pulled jimin to his feet, letting out a small
grunt. "must i remind you of that party jin threw before he graduated? 'fuck,
the kid wearing all black can get it!' never mind that, what about the time in
one of hoseok's parties when you got wasted and ended up listing the guys you'd
fuck and said, and i'm directly quoting you, 'i'd let that emo fuck bone me
into the sunrise.'"
"those were two years ago, our parents barely even talked."
taehyung shrugged. "so? he's still hot as fuck."
"try living with him," jimin pressed as taehyung pushed him out the door. "he's
a nightmare."
"if i lived with him, we would have settled all our differences in the bedroom
already."
"taehyung!" his mum's voice rang out. taehyung flinched. "watch that mouth of
yours or so help me!"
"mum! you're home! jimin and i are just headed to grab a few drinks!"
taehyung's mum poked her head out from the kitchen. "i thought joon got you
guys covered," she mused, "since he left to the store with a list."
"yeah, but we're gonna go for milkshakes real quick! it's a tradition!"
taehyung called out as he waved at his mum, grinning. "it's movie binge night!"
"bye, mrs kim!" jimin called out before the door closed. the two walked the
short distance to taehyung's hand-me-down sedan, strapping in. "ah, the luxury
of having a friend with a car!" jimin sighed out, stretching his legs. "so
roomy."
"for you, short stuff," taehyung grumbled. all jimin did was giggle.
they made it to the drive in, ordering three vanilla shakes at the window. as
they waited for the line of cars to move, taehyung sighed and turned to jimin.
"you know, if you need to, you can stay over at my place as much as you want.
my parents like you and joon doesn't mind your company at all. i'm not saying
you can't handle yourself, but still, you get overwhelmed easily and i just—."
"thank you, taehyung. you've been a great friend all these years. but i'm sure
my mum and step dad would like to see me try, you know? to stay there. i'm
hardly home, and when i am, i'm hiding in my room. i just gotta man up and come
to terms with having a shitty step brother and just... continue living."
"plus your brother's hot self is usually cooped up in his room, too, right? so
he's avoidable."
jimin snorted. "stop calling him hot, please."
"my parents raised me to be honest, jimin, and honestly speaking yoongi could
ram it in me if i weren't head over heels for that dumbass jungkook."
"how's it going with him?" jimin asked, browns furrowed. "has he talked to you
again?"
taehyung sighed and moved forward a little, shaking his head. "ever since i
asked him if he wanted to go watch a movie with me, he hasn't talked to me."
taehyung looked visibly upset now, so jimin looked around frantically for a
possible conversation change.
but nothing came to him, and the two sat in silence.
                                   ———***———
namjoon had invited a couple of people, and jimin set up the first movie,
staying at the menu to wait for the newcomers. taehyung was still visibly
deflated after the conversation at the drive-thru and the shorter of the two
still didn't know how to cheer the other up.
just as he was going to bring up a topic of conversation, jimin's phone rang
with the tone designated for his mum. "hey, mum!" he chirped, sitting with his
legs crossed in front of the television. taehyung watched his best friend
quietly, seeing him smile into the phone, swaying left and right lightly as he
heard his mum over the line. he looked at him extra hard, trying to maybe feel
something. he knew he was better off liking someone else, someone who wasn't
jungkook. jungkook was a waste of time, a lost cause. it's been a month and the
other boy has been avoiding taehyung at all costs. an entire friendship was
tossed aside because taehyung had asked him out.
even though he felt nothing as he continue to bore his eyes into jimin, he
looked away. it was best for him to not catch feelings for his best friend,
anyway. he didn't want another friendship extinguished.
jimin sighed into the phone, nodding. "okay, i'm on my way. i'm sorry, i really
thought i had mentioned it to you..." biting his lip, he looked toward a
sprawled taehyung with a heavy heart. "i really can't stay?"
"no, your dad's home early today. we should all eat together for a change,
don't you think?" his mum's pleasant, chipper tone crooned and jimin couldn't
resist the happy lilt in her words, standing up. "come on. i made your
favourite, anyway."
"yoongi doesn't like it," jimin reminded his mum. the woman giggled in
response.
"the kid pretends to hate my cooking. i've seen him sneak seconds into his
room. come on, kiddo. you have exactly fifteen minutes." jimin rolled his eyes,
knowing his mum knew that was how long it took for him to walk from here to
their house. he hung up and looked at an already expectant taehyung.
"no, it's cool," the taller of the two answered. "go do your thing, bud. joon's
friends are coming so i won't be alone."
jimin walked to the threshold and slipped his boots on, nodding. "okay, but
call or text me in case of anything, okay?"
taehyung grinned his boxy smile, nodding. "yes, mother."
when jimin made it home, he walked in on his step dad spinning his mum around
to the song coming from yoongi's obnoxiously invisible speakers. jimin couldn't
dislike the man that made his mum so happy. this marriage made her glow again,
so he engraved his mum's laughter into his heart, keeping it as a reminder to
be stronger for her sake. "hey, mum. hi, mr—hi d-dad," jimin tried. mr min
grinned at him, eyes squinting.
"hi, jimin. joining us for dinner? i haven't seen you properly these past few
days, have i?"
"i-i guess that's my fault. sorry."
but the man kept his smile in place. "don't worry, teens have to have fun while
they can. besides, work gets in the way, too. we should probably do something
all together in the future."
the music stopped and a door slammed, then jimin's nightmare descended from the
second floor. "hello, father unit. hello, mother unit replacement."
"seriously, yoongi—," mr min began, but jimin's mum cut him off with a giggle.
"hello, son unit. did you wash your hands?"
yoongi bit his lip, eyebrows creased as he frowned. jimin found himself staring
at the lip between teeth and looked away, stomping to the kitchen. "i need to
wash mine," he threw, walking past yoongi.
"yeah, same," the other mumbled, following him to the kitchen. once they were
both in front of the sink, yoongi turned around to jimin with a sneer. "thought
you'd be off having an orgy with your pals," he spat, yanking the soap bottle
away from jimin's hands. "you should just fuck off and stay with them
permanently."
jimin refused to look up from the water running down the drain.
***** choices *****
Chapter Summary
     one of their biggest similarities is actually one of the things that
     keep yoongi and jimin apart. they both lost so much, and grieve the
     same way, but two negative sides of a magnet will never adhere.
jimin frowned at nobody, slightly resenting his mum for not letting him stay
over at taehyung's house yesterday or today and keeping him trapped here. he
couldn't lie, though. jimin recognised this house did feel like home, just not
exactly in the same way his previous house did.
especially not with bring me the horizon playing on full blast in the room
directly next to his.
he looked out his window in order to distract himself, pale curtains wide open
to appreciate the colours of the sunset, watching the scattered pink clouds
slowly turn violet. he reached behind him and flipped the switch of the
christmas lights adorning the wall his bed was against, standing up with a
groan as he stretched and making his way to his desk chair. for a while, he was
sat sketching miscellaneous things, sketching taehyung's street, holly's
shakes, the bakery his friend jin worked at, all being skilfully woven on
watercolour paper. the rattling of the bass then stopped and jimin threw his
head back.
finally.
he decided now was the time to enjoy his own music, reaching for his phone and
picking a random playlist, pressing play and adjusting the volume at just the
right number.
but then the door to his room swung open and banged against the wall.
"yo, jiminie cricket. it's time for din-din," yoongi spoke from the entrance.
jimin turned around, his gaze falling on the elder leaning against the
threshold. he exhaled harshly, turning back to his drawings.
"why? i was just getting in the zone..." yoongi's eyes followed the shape of
jimin's lips turning into a pout with a scowl.
"well, i don't care, brat. let's go." jimin rolled his eyes as yoongi swivelled
and descended the stairs with exaggerated stomps. he then turned around to take
a last glance at his sketches, nibbling at his lip. he could always continue
after dinner, he reasoned with himself, food will probably help his
inspiration.
he nodded to himself in a form of determination and also went downstairs.
when he reached the dining room, he noticed how bright it felt there,
especially with mr min wearing a lavender shirt and pale flannel pants, as
opposed to his usual business attire. everything was soft and colourful except
for his step brother, wearing all black like no one told him being scene wasn't
a thing anymore. mr min smiled softly but tiredly at jimin's mum and she bent
down to kiss his forehead before sitting down next to him.
which left the last open seat next to yoongi.
that's just wonderful, jimin spat internally, flopping down on the chair. just
great. he smiled and greeted mr min politely before beginning to eat, the
entire table blanketed in silence, aside from when mr min commented on how
great dinner was tonight, and yoongi's weird grunts that no one knew if they
were mocks or agreements.
yoongi shifted in his seat next to jimin, scarfing the last of his food before
pushing his chair back. "excuse me," he bit, gathering his dishes and standing
up, turning down jimin's mum's offer of removing his dishes herself, halting
her words with a cold glare.
"yoongi," his father warned not so subtly.
"i'm tired. school was shit today," he responded, monotonous, before making his
way up the stairs to his room and shutting the door with the softest click,
which was very uncharacteristic of him. jimin cleared his throat quietly and
excused himself, too, definitely more politely than the elder. jimin went up
the stairs just as the music started up again.
he's already back at it again, jimin thought, upper lip curling up in
annoyance. but he couldn't feel the usual irritation toward the older of the
two, unable to shake off the feeling that there was something especially
upsetting the already permanently upset guy. he looked at the door to his own
room, then back at yoongi's, silently debating with himself.
fuck it, thug life, jimin decided, once again barging uninvited into yoongi's
room, stepping all the way in and closing the door behind him. his brows
scrunched up at what he saw: yoongi sat at his desk, wearing headphones while
his music played from his invisible speakers. he couldn't believe how fucking
stupid that was, eyeing yoongi questioningly as the other scribbled things down
into a notebook with a passionate pace. but then yoongi stopped writing,
throwing the pen behind him haphazardly, hitting jimin on the shoulder as he
ran a hand through his black tresses. the headphones fell to his shoulders in
the process.
"hey. you okay there, min?" jimin called out as the song playing from the
speakers faded out. yoongi whipped around, shocked expression quickly twisting
back to its usual disdain.
"the fuck you want?" he inquired harshly. jimin staggered back a bit.
"n-nothing much! you just... you left the table kind of abruptly, so..." jimin
shrugged with one shoulder, looking away from the other's stabbing glare. if
looks could kill...
"and why the fuck do you care?" yoongi snarled, turning his back to jimin
again.
"i don't," jimin defended. "you could just show them some basic respect.
they're our parents, you know?"
"your mum isn't my parent. and neither she nor you will ever be part of this
family," he grounded, back still to jimin. jimin found himself actually hurt by
yoongi's words, each syllable penetrating his bloodstream and burning
everything in their path like a wildfire.
"okay," jimin answered, taking a deep breath. "okay. but mr min decided to
marry my mum, so we're both here whether you like it or not. so at least try to
get the fuck over it because lord knows i fucking have."
the bark of laughter that escaped yoongi's lips was cold and void of emotion.
"you don't get it, do you? you don't understand." he spun his chair to face
jimin, eyes burning into his with fury. "i watched my mum take her last
breaths. i watched my dad absolutely fucking break." he stood up and in a
flurry of swift movements pinned jimin against the closest wall, avenge
sevenfold' scream entering the chorus. how fucking apt. "you don't even know
what that's like, and how it feels—." he took a deep breath, interrupted by a
bitter second of empty laughter. "she's been replaced. it's like... like she
never existed! like she didn't matter." jimin had heard these words before,
accidentally having listened in on yoongi hissing at his dad, condemning him
for moving on, of never actually loving his mum in the first place. "so don't
you fucking dare tell me to move past this shit," he concluded darkly, hot
breath fanning against jimin's face. jimin stood in absolute silence, waiting
for the storm to pass, his shoulders hurting from the pressure of yoongi's
hands.
when he finally finished, he stared back at jimin as if expecting a rebuttal, a
fight back. but jimin didn't say or do anything, quietly removing the vicelike
grip on his shoulders before shimmying out from between the wall and yoongi,
walking out the door without a spare glance.
he entered his room, the turmoil in his head making him slam the door with so
much force the paint brushes near the edge of the desk fell to the floor. he
angrily turned off the lamp, keeping the christmas lights on, and crawled under
the blankets of his bed, grabbing a pillow and cuddling it, holding onto it
like a lifeline. he could feel his diaphragm constrict painfully, the lump in
his throat, the burning behind his closed lids. he tried to stop it, but a
violent, shaky sob escaped his tightly pressed lips, hot tears spilling out of
his eyes, running down his cheeks and onto the pillowcase. coiling into himself
even more, he screwed his eyes shut as tight as he could, muffling his pain
into his pillows.
the difference between us is that your mum didn't choose to leave, jimin
thought through his hurt, but my dad did.
***** breakfast at jin’s *****
Chapter Summary
     maybe yoongi doesn’t hate jimin that much, maybe he was just lonely.
     either way, any efforts at peace are thrown in the bin by an
     emotionally wrecked jimin. taehyung invites jimin and seokjin to a
     party.
"rise and fucking shine, jimmy neutron!" a deep voice blared, "parental units
are gone for the day and i'm dying of boredom." yoongi slammed the door of
jimin's room shut, launching himself into the mattress and landing on his
knees, but jimin whined and buried himself deeper into the comforter and hid
his face in his newly dry pillow. yoongi was having none of his shit this
morning, peeling the covers off the other and placing his hands on his shoulder
and leg in order to flip him onto his back.
jimin's sore eyes tried blinking into focus as he attempted shooting daggers at
the boy yanking him away from his finally acquired slumber. "dude, why are you
doing this?" it was when his eyes didn't feel as useless that he realised
yoongi was staring at him with a rather concerned expression, eyes wide, that
he noticed yoongi's scalding-hot touch on his thigh. "hey, mind letting me—?"
"were you crying?" and jimin was taken aback by the sadness dripping from the
elder's tone, getting lost in the unexpectedly soft gaze.
but he snapped out.
because yes, he had been crying. he cried the entire night and barely managed
to fall asleep two hours ago, having exhausted himself with the painful
stutters of his diaphragm and muffled sobs. he had been crying and it was
because of yoongi.
"kindly fuck off," jimin grumbled, sliding out of bed. yoongi had been about to
say something, anything, to lighten the mood, but he noticed jimin still
wearing the same clothes he saw him with last night. he knew how much jimin
appreciated comfy clothing, so he felt his guilt increase at the sight of the
younger still clad in a thermal and denim jeans.
jimin sauntered to his closet, pulling his shirt off and yanking a hoodie off
its hanger. he felt yoongi follow him down the stairs. as he was heading to the
door, he walked past the dining table, noticing two plates piled with breakfast
ready to go. he hesitated. it would be easier on his wallet if he ate here
instead, but he knew the devil himself would eat with him, so he walked to the
door and slipped his shoes on.
"you're not eating?" yoongi called out as jimin pulled the door open. "how long
are you going to be out? you can't go around skipping meals, think of the
hospital bills, brat."
but jimin left him hanging, making his way to jin's work.
                                   ———***———
"you should have at least eaten," seokjin sassed, wagging a straw at jimin
before handing it to him. "your mum most likely made the food, so you basically
kicked her efforts off." jimin poked the straw through the hole in the lid,
shrugging. "look, jimin, i know i'm not your dad or anything but i really wish
you would listen to me for once. when he's in a good mood and talking to you,
take advantage and reciprocate. when he's distant, keep to yourself. it shows
some sort of understanding and tolerance, and i'm telling you this because
jungkook was an angsty pain in the arse the first couple of months. now look at
us! it's as if we were blood related!"
jimin sighed for what felt like the millionth time, shaking his head. "i tried
so hard initially and almost all my efforts went to waste. i thought maybe he
was cracking, but then he got even worse. i tried everything, jin. i even
covered up for him when he got into shit and delivered food to his room on the
anniversary of his dog's and then of his mum's passing. i tried, jin. you know
i'm nice, but i have my limits."
jin sighed softly as he tried to peer into his young friend's eyes, frowning
when the bloodshot orbs avoided his. jimin was really not one for eye contact,
but jin was worried and wanted to read into him a little more.
"hello, bitches! i have arrived!" bellowed a voice, making both of them look up
toward the door.
"taehyung, watch your mouth! you're lucky i'm the manager otherwise you would
have been kicked the fuck out!" jin quietly hissed at his other friend as he
took a seat next to jimin.
"it's barely eight, jinners. no one here's awake enough to even regard me.
which, they should, because i put massive effort into today's outfit." taehyung
frowned. "although i shouldn't have, since i'm gonna have to change into party
clothes later," he mumbled, pouting.
jin wiped the counter down for the third time, scoffing. "taehyung, you
shouldn't do parties until you both become legally allowed to drink and learn
how to hold your damned liquor. even jimin is better than your lightweight
ass."
"speak for your fucking self, jin. you're not very good, either. you turn into
a fucking flirt, dude. it's gross; you should get some drinking pointers from
jimin."
"i wish i had jimin's alcohol tolerance," jin agreed, pressing his lips
together. "but then again, whenever he does get drunk, he's a horny mess."

jimin choked on his drink, clearing his throat. "no i'm not! i've never gotten
dirty with anyone."
jin wiggled his eyebrows. "but you sure do talk about it a lot. i wonder if the
nsa has fun reading your search history. i bet you're into some dark shit. i
still can't believe i made it to your 'would fuck' list."
"jin!" taehyung suddenly interrupted, "why don't you come to the party with
us?"
jin let out a peal of squeaky laughter. "no, thanks! find another babysitter."
taehyung turned to jimin. "you, too, please! come on!"
jimin nodded and both boys turned their attention to jin, hopeful. "i really
don't think i should go. just—."
taehyung grinned sweetly. "it's okay, jin. namjoon will take care of us, you
don't have to come! i understand if you have things to do!"
jin's entire face and neck turned a deep shade of crimson at the mention of
namjoon. "w-well... let me just... find a designated driver and i'll see."
taehyung and jimin smiled at each other knowingly as jin retreated to clean
already spotless surfaces surrounding him. the boys already knew namjoon and
jin were ridiculously weak for each other, and they hoped the party would help
get them together faster.
they had been tip-toeing around each other for years now.
taking a sip of his coffee, jimin swayed side to side in his seat until he
stiffened suddenly. he had a party to go to and he didn't know what to wear or
whose party was it or if he was allowed to go.
great, he thought,i should have just said no.

(gross filler)
***** satan take the wheel *****
Chapter Summary
     it’s been two years since jimin partied and he swears to god he’ll be
     more responsible, avoiding the dance floor and heading upstairs to
     avoid trouble whatsoever. unfortunately for him, trouble has two legs
     and knows how to use them.
"nope. no. no way, rosé. i'm taking this off right now," jimin declared,
wincing at his reflection in the mirror. taehyung groaned for the umpteenth
time in what seemed like years, glaring at his best friend through the mirror.
"look, you ungrateful little fuck," he began, taking a deep, calming breath. "i
went through blood sweat and tears these past two hours trying to dress you up.
you look fucking hot and you're gonna stay looking fucking hot because you're
gonna keep these clothes on at least until we get there, got it?"
jimin blinked.
okay, then.
but jimin couldn't stop another complaint from escaping his lips, tugging at
the choker he didn't even remember owning. "i look like i charge $250 an hour,"
he whined, looking away from the mirror and looking at taehyung directly.
"that's... kind of the point? it's a party, jimin, not a church."
jimin rolled his eyes but nodded. "okay, okay. i can... it's only for tonight,
right? but isn't it too cold for a tank top?" jimin tried squatting down but
the position felt tight and uncomfortable. "i haven't worn these jeans because
they fit kind of tight now, and now i'm off to party in them..."
taehyung dug through his best friend's closet and plucked out a red jacket,
handing it to the shorter of the two. "wear this over it. the cold ain't
stopping you from looking like a fucking meal, jimin. i'm not allowing it."
jimin took the jacket with a pout. "but what about you? you look like that one
kid people invite because he's the son of a ceo."  they both looked at
taehyung's relaxed slacks and almond coloured dress shirt.
"i'm not trying to get laid tonight," he answered, "i just want to flex on
people and have a good time. but i could probably get laid, anyway. because,
unlike you, i'm not a prude."
”you can’t call me a prude a few hours after you insulted my supposed
promiscuity.” taehyung laughed as jimin made his way to his desk and opened a
drawer, pulling out basic makeup items. "hey, do you want me to beat your
face?"
taehyung hummed, thinking and looking at his reflection. "nah. i'm enjoying my
beautiful, natural complexion tonight. i have a feeling tonight's gonna be
great for both of us."
jimin sighed, turning to his best friend. "please limit your alcohol intake."
                                   ———***———
taehyung and jimin had parted ways the moment they entered, both of them with
different goals. jimin shimmied and slid his way through the sweaty, loud crowd
and scurried to the kitchen, relaxing as the smell of sweat, smoke, and mixed
drinks stopped being as overpowering. he grabbed a bottle of tequila and took
three shots, wincing at the burning creeping from his throat up to his nose and
then his eyes.
that wasn't good for his makeup.
"jimin!" jimin turned around at the sound of his name, in the middle of
shooting another.
"jungkook? aren't you a little too young to be here?"
"i can say the same to you," jungkook replied, waltzing to the fridge and
taking a can of soda. "but to be honest, i'm just here as jin's designated
driver."
"do you even drive?" jimin exclaimed, eyes wide. jungkook just grinned and
cracked the can open, taking a long gulp. "jesus christ, is jin even safe? you
guys should just ride with me and taehyung..." jungkook's cheeks turned pink
and he looked at his can, running his pinky around the lip. jimin was
completely unaware of jungkook's sudden change as he reached for a beer can.
this can's big, he noted as he frowned at the curiously bulky can with a big
red "f". "well, tae's probably hitting the dance floor right now, so i should
ask him if it's okay—."
"i'll do it! you have fun! don't drink too much!" jungkook threw behind him as
he left the kitchen with a whoosh. jimin finally caught on and let out a
giggle, figuring jungkook had other intentions for seeing taehyung.
hopefully apologising was one of them.
it was getting inevitably louder and he decided the kitchen wasn't a safe haven
anymore, squeezing past the dancing people and blinking through the smoke. as
he made his way to the staircase, his eyes fell on a pale figure dressed in all
black, an arm clad in red around his shoulders. he saw the arm belonged to a
beaming hoseok, and the shoulders belonged to none other than his step-brother.
yoongi's eyes snapped up and they made eye contact.
jimin pretended not to recognise him and continued up the stairs.
he found himself in a hall with various doors and he groaned, reaching for the
one right in front of him. he sighed in relief to find it empty, repressing a
shudder as he remembered a past experience. he had not needed to see that. but
this time, luck was clearly on his side and he closed the door behind him,
looking around. it was very obviously hoseok's room. the entire room seemed to
give off the boy's distinctive rhythm. jimin felt himself relax, plopping into
the leather desk chair that had been pulled up to the window.
he could see the moon from this window, and he felt his eyes droop a little. he
brought the can of imported beer to his lips in hopes the cold liquid could
keep him awake. the tequila was already starting to creep its warmth into him,
and he knew soon he'd want his jacket off.
he turned back to the moon as the door of the room burst open. "wow. goodie two
shoes at a party? i thought hot-mess jimin was a thing of the past but i've run
into him again. who would've thunk?"
jimin took another sip of his beer. "fuck off, min."
the older just chuckled, shutting the door and pressing down the lock. jimin
didn't notice. "really emo of you. as cute as edgy jimin is, i'll have to stop
you right here." he walked toward jimin with a smirk, bending down to eye-
level. jimin squirmed at the eye contact, trying and failing to look away.
yoongi's tongue darted across his lips. "that's my job."
 
 
(i deleted so much but it just felt like unnecessary information lmao)
***** it was wrong *****
Chapter Summary
     they say people are the most honest when drunk, but sometimes alcohol
     is just used as a shield to cower behind after regretful words and
     actions.
"what are you doing up here, loser?" he asked, sitting down on the floor
opposite jimin and leaning back against the bed. the younger just shrugged,
taking a long swig of beer and then swinging the can around pointedly.
"what does it look like i'm doing? i'm partying." yoongi rolled his eyes at
jimin's words.
"yeah. sure. by yourself?" he sneered, pulling himself to his feet and walking
to hoseok's night stand. jimin watched curiously as he extracted a hidden
bottle of vodka with strange familiarity. jimin tossed back the rest of his
beer as yoongi plopped back down in the floor, patting the space next to him.
"well, yeah," jimin grumbled, ignoring the gesture as he looked at his empty
can. he was sort of in disbelief, not really processing the fact that he had
just finished the equivalent of two beer cans in one go. "better than being
surrounded by all that noise. i already get to put up with that shit at home,
anyway, right?" jimin replied bitterly, but yoongi chuckled lightly, dark gaze
staring him down again. jimin felt a weird weight at the pit of his stomach as
yoongi crooked an index finger at him, beckoning once again to sit with him on
the floor. jimin bit his lip but obliged, remembering what jin had told him
earlier. if he's in a good mood, take advantage of it. once jimin took his
place next to yoongi the elder crossed his legs and faced him, using the bed to
prop his elbow in order to rest his chin in his hand.
"little jimin," he drawled, "partying, drinking... wow. what a sight, honestly.
i thought you had learnt your lesson after you made that list—."
"please don't remind me. everyone else already does. i just had a little too
much to drink that day and that was like, what, two years ago?" he turned back
to gaze out the window, eyes inevitably falling on the moon. he turned back
around to find yoongi opening the vodka bottle, pressing it to his lips and
taking a couple of sips. "i was a freshman. who invites a freshman to a party
and hands him alcohol so easily?" yoongi grinned at jimin from behind the
bottle, eyes never leaving his face. that was until they roamed his body,
tracing his outlines, dissecting his anatomy with razor-sharp orbs. yoongi
pressed the mouth of the bottle against jimin's plump lips, his gaze following
the way the younger's lips parted in surprise before he composed himself and
took the bottle from his hands. he took a quick gulp, wincing at the the
burning and handing the bottle back hastily. "sorry, i'm more of a tequila
person—."
but yoongi interrupted him with a, "you got more piercings?" as he leaned
closer toward the younger. jimin's breathing staggered at the sudden proximity,
eyes following slim fingers closing the bottle before they reached for his
earlobe. the faint smell of tobacco coupled with the vodka and something that
smelled oddly like honey invaded jimin's nostrils as yoongi's cold fingers
played with the cartilage. he pushed the bottle aside and slid closer, tilting
the younger's head to look at the other ear.
"y-yea," jimin finally replied breathily, revelling in the feeling of cold
digits sliding from his ear to his chin, and then down to his pulse.
"the new additions made it look better," he admitted, shuffling closer still.
jimin's heart set on a rampage.
"thanks."
holy hell, what was happening?
"any tattoos to show off?" yoongi asked, leaning his forehead against jimin's
shoulder. jimin let out a short, almost inaudible gasp at the contact,
breathing in shakily at that same sweetly intoxicating scent he had taken in
just seconds ago. the mixture of sweat and smoke and alcohol he had dreaded was
now coaxing him to close them gap between them as much as possible. or maybe
jimin was drunk.
he hoped to god he was just drunk.
"n-no," he finally answered, "not as brave as you." suddenly the fingers
against his pulse became a full hand roaming down the front of his body.
letting t finally rest on top of one of jimin's thighs. "b-but i want one. i-
i dont... know what to get..." the same weight in his belly burst out suddenly,
spreading down to his toes, running up his spine. he felt his skin burning
where the other's hand had been, despite not actually making skin-to-skin
contact. it reminded him of that morning, the feeling of yoongi's burning hand
splayed on his clothed thigh.
"well, i have some. wanna see them?" he whispered against jimin's shoulder, hot
breath sweeping through the fabric of his jacket, electric currents attacking
jimin once again. yoongi's hushed words were enough to send excitement rushing
through him.
please tell me it's the alcohol, he pleaded in his head, i cannot be seriously
turned on by whispers.
"okay. yes," he replied weakly, gaze following yoongi as he pulled away from
him to tug the neck of his shirt aside, revealing even more of his already
visible tattoo. there were more butterflies than jimin thought. and they stood
out against his pale skin. jimin followed the line of his clavicle with hooded
eyes, swallowing thickly and keeping his hands in fists. he was currently
fighting the urge to sit on his lap and—.
no, don't even finish that thought, he reprimanded himself.
"this ones actually my second," yoongi confessed with a small mischievous
smile. "my first one is here." and he lifted his entire shirt, revealing a
trail of feathers on the left side of his rib cage. "third and fourth," he said
as he turned his back to jimin and showed him the sun and moon on his shoulder
blades. "and my most recent one. let me tell you this one hurt like a bitch."
he pulled his shirt down and stood up, tugging the waistband of his pants down.
jimin's eyes widened as he lowered his pants considerably, revealing a
colourful butterfly. he pulled his pants up much too quickly for jimin's liking
and sat back down next to him with a lopsided smirk. "so, did that inspire
anything?" he asked, watching as jimin sputtered. the poor boy didn't know what
to say or how to say it, still stuck with the image of yoongi deliberately
pulling his pants down lower and lower. "did you like what you saw, jiminie?"
he asked the younger, laughing at his own double entendres. jimin noticed his
voice had dropped a few octaves, heavy, husky drawls slightly slurred by
alcohol penetrating his skin cells and making him crave more. his cheeks began
to burn as yoongi's hand once again reached for his leg, thumb rubbing small
circles on his inner thigh. "baby, are you blushing?" he let out a low laugh,
grabbing him gently by the chin.
i'm dreaming. i got drunk and passed out and now i'm having the wet dream of
the century. there is no way i'm actually doing this right now.
but jimin gasped as yoongi's hand trailed higher up his thigh. "no, i'm not,"
he defended feebly. yoongi once again rested his head against his shoulder,
this time coming closer and running his nose against his pulse. "fuck," jimin
let out, tipping his head back. why was this happening?
"you should wear these jeans more often," yoongi mumbled against his skin,
tugging at the black velvet choker. yoongi straightened himself up, peered into
jimin's wide eyes, took in his dilated pupils, and let out a shaky breath. he
felt like he was drowning. drowning in the pounding bass of the music, drowning
in his gaze, drowning in alcohol.
he was drowning in his own feelings.
the turmoil grew to be too much and he desperately looked for anything to chase
it away before he took things too far. there was nothing. nothing. nothing.
nothing but the heat radiating off his small, soft body, the smell of vodka
clinging to his lips. nothing but the thrumming of the windows shaking against
their will, trying to fight against the music playing.
jimin's eyes flickered down to his lips and looked back up to meet the other's
gaze just as quickly.
it was then when yoongi completely lost his inhibitions and hungrily pressed
his lips against jimin's warm ones.
"yoongi—." but yoongi looked up at him before peppering his jaw and neck with
soft pecks, taking in his scent. he pushed the jacket off jimin's shoulders
with shaky fingers.
"no. call me hyung." their lips clashed together once again, jimin letting out
a small whimper. "at least just for tonight."
and then they were a messy tangle of grunts and kisses, jimin's red jacket
thrown to hell as yoongi lifted him up and sat down on the bed, setting him
down on his lap. jimin, having completely thrown common sense away with the
jacket, lowered himself languidly and rolled his hips, grinding against yoongi
who let out a low, guttural moan. he brought jimin closer still, kissing him
again and biting his lip with unnecessary pressure.
"hyung, wait," jimin whined, pulling away as he tried to catch his breath.
"what if someone walks in?"
"door's locked," yoongi grumbled in response, peppering soft kisses on jimin's
exposed shoulder before nipping lightly. jimin jumped in yoongi's hold, his
pleasure aching and demanding release.
"fuck, hyung, just—."
"what do you want, baby?" yoongi growled, nipping and biting at jimin's neck
and collarbone, leaving small pink marks on the clavicle. jimin jutted his hips
against him, needing more friction.
"hyung, please."
"please what?" his hand travelled to jimin's zipper teasingly and jimin bucked
his pelvis in response.
"just fuck me already."
the doorknob rattled and jimin and yoongi stared at each other, eyes wide.
"hey, anyone in here?"
jimin practically flew off yoongi's lap, scurrying to get his jacket and sit
down once again on the leather desk chair, tugging yoongi to him and fixing his
hair before doing that to his own. yoongi opened the door just as jimin grabbed
his empty beer can from the floor, using it as a prop to hide his erection.
"namjoon!" yoongi breathed. "thought you left me already!"
"nah, but i was looking for somewhere me and jin jin could relax. you got a
girl in here or something?"
jimin took steadying breaths as yoongi pulled the door open even wider. "nah,
i'm just here to bother this loner."
jimin tried to wave casually. "hey, namjoon. hey, jin jin. enjoying the party?"
jimin drawled, cracking a genuine smile and jin hid behind namjoon with a nod.
"we'll just find another place to... chill," namjoon mumbled, to which yoongi
laughed.
"sure. you do that, pal."
when the other two left, yoongi turned to jimin and stretched his hand out. "i
don't want to be here anymore. let's go home."
"oh. okay." he stood up and took yoongi's hand and he led him out the door,
down the stairs, and out of the house. yoongi let go of jimin's hand once the
smaller boy shuffled into the passenger seat.
"listen," yoongi said once they were both settled in yoongi's car. "what
happened in there..." jimin felt the dread crawling up behind him, gulping back
the knot in his throat. "can we just forget about tonight?"
they both avoided looking at each other. they both winced as the words left a
heavy echo in the tightness of the car. jimin looked down at the hands on his
lap, nodding. "oh... okay. it was wrong."
yoongi manoeuvred out of the parking slot and let out a short, angry breath
through his nose, tightening the grip on the steering wheel. "no. yeah, it was
very wrong."
and suddenly, the barrier between them was back up again,  and once yoongi
killed the engine, he ran into the house and up the stairs, slamming his room
door shut.

(i hate myself)
***** something borrowed *****
Chapter Summary
     no matter how much jimin tries, there’s always a barrier between him
     and yoongi.
a low groan escaped jimin's lips. he woke up from what felt like the best sleep
he's had in a week, feeling something shaking his legs. i swear to god, if this
is yoongi, he better start preparing a funeral for his dick because i'm cutting
it the fuck off--.
"jimin, honey, you need to wake up and get some food in your stomach." he was
relieved it was his mother's voice but irritated nonetheless, rolling away from
her hands. "jimin," she scolded, "wake up now. your father and i are on our way
out again," she continued with a giggle, but jimin's sleepy groan interrupted
her as he sat up and glared at her. "no, young man. don't give me that look.
you decided to party so now you deal with the consequences. come on downstairs.
it's almost three o'clock and you haven't eaten anything. breakfast, brunch,
whatever... yoongi's cooking again so you better eat it this time." she sighed
and looked at her son disapprovingly. "he worked so hard on yesterday's
breakfast and you blew him off."
and you blew him off. 
memories of last night suddenly attacked jimin: hard, hot hands gripping his
waist, teeth grazing his lower lip, panting and sweating... and then he
remembered the morning of, and how yoongi had tried to get jimin to eat. "oh,"
jimin finally said, groggy voice making him flinch as he ruffled his hair.
"okay, i'll be down." his mum nodded, pleased by the answer, and made her way
out the door. what? seriously? he thought, frowning. yoongi had made breakfast
for him? and it had looked edible? he decided to just shake it off along with
his chances of going the fuck to sleep, standing up from the bed and dragging
his feet to his closet. he slipped into some shorts and pulled a random shirt
off its hanger, shuffling to the bathroom with the shirt hung around his
shoulders. once he brushed his teeth, he managed to make it down the stairs to
the dining room, pulling a chair out and sinking in with a sigh. 
"good afternoon, jimin," mr min greeted, "i see you had fun last night." there
was a hint of playfulness in the usually stern tone of the man. jimin saw this
as his bond with his step-father growing stronger and shrugged at him with a
sleepy smile.
"morning, dad. it was... fun." mr min chuckled and downed the rest of his
orange juice, pushing the empty glass to the middle of the table. 
"i can see that," he remarked just as jimin's mum removed the empty glass from
the table and pushed a full one at jimin.
"jimin, honey, shirt on at the table." jimin looked up at his mum, blinking in
confusion, but his periphery made him turn his attention to yoongi, who was
standing against the counter, eyes wide as saucers and glass of juice halfway
to his lips. it was then jimin turned back to his mum, then step-dad, and felt
his face redden.
"i'm shirtless, aren't i?" he mumbled. mr min let out a hearty guffaw, hand
lightly slapping the table as jimin reached around his neck and took the shirt,
sliding it on. then he heard wet gurgles, and coughs and gasps coming from the
kitchen.
"honey, are you okay?" jimin's mum asked, concern making her eye shape droop
with worry. yoongi held up a hand and nodded, clearing his throat.
"i'm just fine, don't worry. i, uh," he cleared his throat again, harder this
time. "i didn't realise this juice had pulp," he lied lamely. "but you guys go
ahead. go do whatever parental units do." 
jimin's mum nodded, making her way out of the kitchen and practically dancing
toward mr min. "we'll be back around ten..." he began, trailing off as he
looked at jimin's mum. "midnight... maybe. i, uh, i left some money on the
coffee table so you guys order food. try to limit the stove use, i'm not sure
how sober you two are..." he glanced at them, examining them quickly with
narrowed eyes. "so, do that for me. no drinking today. don't ruin your organs
so early into the game. take care," he mumbled sheepishly, in the end, giving
them an awkward smile before he was pulled away and out the door. jimin took a
deep breath, standing up to grab the aspirin bottle on the counter as yoongi
walked to the stove. he tossed two pills in and walked back to retrieve his cup
of orange juice, swallowing them down. he looked out the kitchen window and
walked closer, wiggling his toes against the tile being warmed by the sun's
rays. the lighting in the kitchen was always so soft and soothing most of the
morning and in the beginning of the afternoon, and he found his muscles
relaxing as he watched a bird flutter by.
"hey," yoongi spoke, interrupting his moment of bliss. jimin furrowed his
brows, looking back to see yoongi leaning against the counter next to the
stove. jimin could see the butterflies rising up his neck and felt a blush
creep up his face as more memories of last night attacked him. "you looke great
in my shirt," yoongi drawled with that same crooked smirk, shooting jimin a
quick wink before turning his attention back to the pot on the stove. "hope you
don't mind, but it's just ramen on the menu today."
"w-wait. what do you mean, your shirt?" he inquired, looking down at his chest
only to realise this was one of yoongi's favourite shirts. the kid was
practically attached to this shirt and here jimin was standing in the middle of
the kitchen and wearing it. it was a metal band, and the writing was so
distorted that jimin had never learned what band it was from, but this was
yoongi's absolute favourite. 
"mum probably tossed it in with your clothes accidentally. just give it back
later," yoongi replied simply, pouring in the instant noodles into two bowls.
he slid the fuller bowl toward jimin. "here, eat it this time. you'll pass out
at this rate." jimin looked at the bowl with furrowed brows and yoongi sighed.
"it's not poisoned, park. just eat it." jimin nodded, opening a drawer and
extracting a fork, curling some noodles around it. yoongi set his chopsticks
down in his bowl and stared at him in confusion. "hey, you're full korean,
right? as in, your birth dad is korean, too?" 
jimin shoved the forkful of noodles into his mouth, letting out a low moan as
the broth clinging to the noodles hit his taste buds. he hadn't realised how
hungry he was. "mmm," jimin began, "yeah, he was full korean. why you asking?"
"you're eating your ramen with a fork, is all." jimin looked at the chopsticks
newly in yoongi's hand expertly pulling noodles up as he slurped. jimin felt
his face soften at the way yoongi looked when he ate, but then snapped out of
his daze and worked on his own bowl.
"i buy ramen cups at school often so i end up eating it with school forks.
guess it's just a habit now. thanks, by the way...." he trailed off. "for the
ramen, and for yesterday's breakfast. i... the ramen is very good..." yoongi
scoffed, drinking the broth and setting the plate down on the sink.
"well, let me tell you the eggs were kind of salty and the bacon too... crispy.
you didn't miss much." 
"i would have eaten it, anyway... sorry. i was just not in a good mood and--."
"we’re never in a good mood with each other, jimin. it's cool. well, i'll be in
my room."
jimin's lips tried to stay shut as yoongi turned around to leave but the word
tumbled out anyway. "wait!" yoongi turned around, one eyebrow raised, looking
at the younger questioningly. "d-do you..." he didn't know what to say, biting
his lip and rummaging through his mind for any ideas. "do you... maybe want to
watch a movie together? or, well, like just something?"
yoongi jumped a bit at the question, remembering the first months living
together, jimin always cheerfully and hopefully asking him the exact same
thing, throwing in comments about snacks, and possible film choices, always
keeping that bright grin. his eyes would practically disappear and his cheeks
would painfully stretch to give his smile space. 
when was the last time yoongi had seen him smile like that?
but then he remembered the younger's drunken words of lust in those two parties
he had first seen him in, and the way he would ogle at yoongi in the halls
before his parents even started dating. he realised he was probably just
standing there so he snorted, seeing jimin's eyes dart to the floor. "why would
i want to do that?" yoongi asked. jimin set his bowl down on the counter, still
more than halfway full, fingers shaky.
"no, never mind. do your thing... just don't..." jimin tossed the fork in the
sink and reached for a paper towel, covering his bowl. "don't play your music
too loud." 
yoongi walked out of the kitchen without another word, nodding to himself as he
dashed up the stairs to his room. yes, it was better this way.
***** not the bond he had in mind *****
Chapter Summary
     it’s always the little things that make you fall. little details like
     smiles, or gifts, or displays of some sort of kindness and affection.
     it’s when the fall gets too long that one realises the landing won’t
     be as nice as said “little things”.
"seven pounds of butter on a roof—." laughter filled the room and jimin joined,
smiling at the screen.
"why specifically seven, taehyung?" jungkook's voice rang out. looks like
jungkook and taehyung were on good terms again. the short video of taehyung's
drunken story ended, and jimin used the television remote to scroll down to the
next. the party seemed to have been cool. jimin would have known first-hand if
he hadn't been making out with his step-brother in the host's bedroom and then
left abruptly. he hadn't even told taehyung. he had just taken yoongi's hand
and left. the next video was of taehyung and jungkook dancing to gangnam
style—shirtless. jin could be seen recording in the background. jimin sighed.
he told taehyung to control his alcohol intake for a reason.
"what are you watching?" jimin heard a gruff voice from the top of the
staircase. he exited the browser and opened up netflix, stretching his legs so
he could bury his cold toes in between the couch's cushions.
"nothing," he grumbled. "not like you care, anyway."
yoongi sighed and made his way down the stairs silently, woolen blanket in
hand, studying the younger's face as jimin tried to decide on something to
watch. "lift your feet, brat," yoongi's raspy voice called, still carrying
hints of sleep. he stood in front of the couch jimin was sat on. he eyed yoongi
wearily, lifting his legs off the loveseat and allowing yoongi to plop down.
just as jimin was going to bring his knees up to his chest for some warmth,
yoongi pulled them onto his lap. "please, don't play some shit romance
bullshit. spare me."
"o-okay. cool." jimin felt himself loosen up despite what happened minutes ago
in the kitchen, gaze softening as he saw yoongi fumble to cover both their legs
with the blanket. his peachy lips pursed as he tucked the blanket under his own
thighs, ensuring jimin's toes would stay warm. jimin's mum had once mentioned
off-handedly that, while yoongi acted cold toward her, he would show he didn't
hate her by doing little things, like cleaning the kitchen or setting the
coffee maker early in the morning so it could be ready for when both she and mr
min left for work.
he couldn't see how that wasn't common courtesy but whatever.
jimin ended up picking the movie audition, not really paying attention to it.
he was focusing more on yoongi's review as he pointed out flaws and funny
parts, and how overhyped the movie was. jimin was surprised at the last remark.
he had never heard of this movie. still, jimin couldn't help but feel thrilled
at the fact they were having a conversation with no yelling or insults and no
forced pleasantries. this was what he had wanted to do when they began living
together.
"next time we should just marathon a bunch of japanese horror movies," yoongi
suggested, tapping his fingers against jimin's shin. "just gotta make a list
first. you don't mind cheap cinematography and lame cliche supernatural stuff,
right?" he asked, looking up to jimin.
"no, it sounds cool!" he replied with too much enthusiasm. he cleared his
throat and continued. "taehyung and i watch all sorts of movies."
yoongi snorted. "so, you're basically fessing up to watching porn with your
best friend. damn, get you a freak—."
"oh, god, no! that's not what i meant at all!" yoongi laughed heartily in
response, bright eyes burning into jimin's. he guessed that's what his mum
meant, about the little things. like, yoongi trying to get jimin to eat before
leaving, or giving him the bowl with the most food, or covering him well with
the blanket without being asked. yoongi had already said no to watching movies
with him, but here he was.
"stop staring, brat. let's pick another movie." jimin hastily picked one of his
favourites and shuffled deeper into the loveseat as yoongi whistled. "wow,
little jimin has good taste," yoongi praised, looking up to jimin with a smirk.
little jimin... partying, drinking...yoongi's husky tone echoed in his head,
bringing certain memories in its wake.
jimin turned back to the television awkwardly. the movie played, and yoongi
brought jimin's legs closer to him, mimicking jimin and sinking deeper into the
couch with a gentle clear of his throat, hesitantly beginning to rub soothing
circles on one of his knees. they spent the rest of the day like this, ordering
pizza and pasta, watching a few more movies. at one point, the blanket laid on
the floor abandoned, the two having opted for each other's warmth as they
argued about which movies were good and which weren't worth the two hours. "i'm
sorry but split reigns supreme," jimin huffed, crossing his arms cutely. yoongi
groaned.
"the nightcrawler cannot be below split!" yoongi protested, throwing his arms
out in front of him. "the dude has no morals! a perfect display of sociopathy!
how is that below split?"
"excuse me? did you not watch the last seconds? it's connected to—." jimin
fumbled through his words in exasperation, puffing his cheeks after getting
tongue-tied. yoongi mumbled something jimin didn't quite hear, a small smile
escaping his lips.
"you don't know good cinematic works. wouldn't even recognise one if it hit you
on the head," yoongi spoke up, hand slyly moving up his leg.
jaw slack, jimin blinked at him in disbelief. "that is so not true! at all! my
taste in movies is great. my taste in music is great, too!" yoongi rolled his
eyes with a lazy smile. "my music, in fact, is so much better than that emo
screamo shit you listen to. what the fuck, yoongi? asking alexandria? breaking
benjamin?"
"settle down, shortie, you don't want to hurt yourself."
"what's next?" jimin continued, face growing red, "blood on the dancefloor?
just people screaming into a mic for two hours? and i am not a shortie! we're
one centimetre apart—!" yoongi had successfully grabbed his legs and pulled
jimin onto his lap, jimin letting out a shameful squeak.
"you're kind of hot when you're annoyed, jiminie," yoongi whispered against his
neck, sending shivers down jimin's spine and leaving him lightheaded.
"wait, w-what..." in a bit of a daze, jimin blinked, grabbing onto yoongi's
shoulders and pulling himself up into a more comfortable position, hips
inevitably moving against yoongi as he tried to steady himself.
"shit, jimin," yoongi let out, voice drifting off into a moan as his hands
gripped jimin's hips like the night before. warmth unbearably spread to jimin's
groin and he had to bite his lip to resist the urge to grind down on the older.
"y-yoongi?" jimin sputtered, trying to maybe get yoongi to let him go, their
proximity too much for him.
"jimin, baby... call me hyung," he murmured, gripping his hips even harder as
he stared at jimin through his lashes.
"hyung?" jimin finally questioned. the haze of the alcohol gone, he decided to
bring this up. "do we have to have a talk about this? is this some sort of
incest kink?" he quirked an eyebrow, forgetting the previous overwhelming
seconds.
"oh, shut the fuck up," yoongi grumbled with a weak glare, lips giving him away
as they twitched upwards. jimin started to laugh, conjuring another comeback in
his head, but he didn't get the chance to say it. he gasped out suddenly, head
thrown back as a wave of white-hot pleasure washed over his body as yoongi
thrust upward, creating that beautiful friction that had made him see stars
last night. "is my baby already turned on for hyung? how naughty." he pulled
jimin's head back up, dark orbs smoldering against wide-open chocolate ones.
jimin stared back unflinchingly, to both of their surprises, though they didn't
dwell on it much. jimin rocked his hips against yoongi's, letting out a whine
when yoongi's hold was back on his hips and keeping him still. jimin tried to
move anyway. he needed more. "with just a little stimulation you're already
practically begging me to bend you over," he hissed, sinking his teeth into
jimin's collarbone and squeezing his ass. "naughty, naughty."
"wait," jimin interrupted breathlessly, the mixture of pleasure and pain from
the love bite sending him to hyperventilation. "h-hyung--."
yoongi licked at the bite before moving up to his shoulder and giving him
another hickie, cueing jimin's hands to grip yoongi's dark tresses. "if you're
a good baby, i'll be nice, jiminie," he murmured, looking up to connect their
lips in a brief, feathery kiss. his hands moved from jimin's hips to the
waistband of his shorts, slowly tugging it down.
no. yeah, it was very wrong, yoongi's words echoed through jimin's mind. he
froze, eyes growing frigid as yoongi's peered into his. jimin pushed himself
off, standing up with wide eyes and short breaths.
"jimin?" yoongi called out, eyebrows knit together with worry and confusion,
and jimin even thought he looked hurt as he stumbled away from the loveseat.
"i don't know what kind of sick fucking game you're trying to play here,
yoongi, but i'm sure as fuck not in. you agreed last night that this was wrong.
don't play with me like this." jimin's lips trembled, but he didn't say
anything else and made his way up the stairs in a haste to get to his room. a
few seconds later, there was a knock on the door and jimin looked up, biting
his lip.
"hey, jimin..."
silence.
what was he supposed to say? the more he thought about speaking, the more his
feelings got tangled into a ball of confusion.
"jimin, i just..."
"what do you want?" jimin yelled, everything that happened downstairs suddenly
crashing onto him and making him lash out.
"nothing," yoongi replied dryly. "forget it."
and then the door to yoongi's room closed with a slam.
"jesus christ," jimin let out, scurrying to his mirror. he had two angry red
marks on his collarbone and shoulder, right on top of the smaller nips and
bites from the night before. then, it dawned on him that the reason mr min had
laughed and asked jimin if he had a good time at the party was because of the
peppered red marks on his clavicle. "jesus christ," he wailed, rubbing his eyes
with his hands. "what happened at the party? what happened down there just now?
i'm going crazy. i was poisoned. the ramen was definitely laced with something.
this can't be happening."
yoongi's music started up again, but jimin was too preoccupied with the mess in
the mirror staring back at him.
"cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort! suffocation, no   breathing,
don't give a fuck if i cut my arm bleeding!"
jimin sank to the floor tiredly, wincing as he touched the fresh love bites—if
he could call them that.
this wasn't the type of close bond he had in mind.
***** mercurial *****
Chapter Summary
     things don’t really seem to be going back to normal at all, and jimin
     doesn’t know how to feel, or how to even handle it. yoongi eavesdrops
     on jimin after failing to gather courage to talk. taehyung questions
     his best friend’s recent strange behaviour.
     (another filler chapter)
it's been two weeks since their little scene in the living room and jimin was
tired.
nothing had exactly happened since that day, really. unless, of course, jimin
counted the dirty whispers in his ear about how great his ass looked in certain
pairs of jeans, and hands squeezing aforementioned ass. or the time yoongi had
actually slipped his cold hand into jimin's shirt and ran his fingernails
against his rib cage. or the times he'd find jimin after school to go home
together, throwing suggestive comments as they made their way to the car park.
but he decided today he wouldn't put up with this shit, getting out of class a
minute early and jogging to the front of the school, where he ran into the
devil himself—literally. his body crashed against yoongi's back and the older
turned around, grinning. "well, someone's eager to see me." yoongi looked jimin
up and down, smiling slightly when he saw the shirt jimin was wearing.
jimin shook his head and pushed yoongi's hand away before he could snake it
around his waist. "no thanks, satan."
and then he took off with a sprint.
it took him fifteen minutes to get home, and when he did, he zoomed to the
kitchen, grabbing a cup and filling it with water from the tap, chugging it
down in one go and making his way up to his room. he locked the door just as he
heard the front door open and close, then yoongi making his way up the stairs
languidly. a few seconds later, the music started up.
"at least it's just rise against," jimin mumbled to himself, thankful it wasn't
so loud today. he decided to finish what he had sketched weeks ago, figuring he
could probably drown out yoongi's music with his own. two songs in, he realised
his tiny bluetooth speaker was not going to cut it. still, he tried his best to
finish painting one of the sketches, singing along to the next song. "i wanted
you to be the last thing on my mind, i wanted you to be the reason i close my
eyes, but i can't sleep," jimin's voice rang out, a higher pitch than the
singer, but it sounded just as soothing.
jimin continued singing and painting. he thought of school, homework, taehyung,
his mum... he thought about his step dad and jin and jungkook.
he thought about yoongi, above else.
he found he couldn't quite stop himself.
"falling is easy," jimin continued singing along, precise hand stumbling
against the watercolour paper. "but there's only one way up..." he drifted off
and let the song continue on its own for a few moments.
"so i've been thinking that i think too much and i can't sleep, but i can dream
of us..."
jimin tried to correct the mistake on the paper, biting his lip. he didn't
notice when yoongi's music stopped as he continued to let his thoughts roam,
lingering on gummy smiles and deep, throaty laughter. hands gripping his waist
and words whispered in his ear. he put the brush down and took a calming
breath, feeling the prickling of tears as he closed his eyes to compose
himself.
"it's burning down, i gotta drown this out, and you said you need me to let
this go," jimin continued, his usually steady voice quivering under the
pressure of the turmoil that were his emotions. his hands gripped the edge of
his desk as his eyes burned more and more, throat constricting. "and you say i
drink and i smoke and i talk too much, but i know you lied when... you said..."
the moment actual tears stumbled down his cheeks, he stopped himself. he was
not going to cry over this asshole. not again. not anymore. jimin was better
than that.
he disconnected his phone from the speaker and wiped at his face, grabbing a
cardigan and slipping it over the baggy black shirt he was wearing before
checking himself in the mirror. his face wasn't swollen at all, since he had
stopped himself before he actually started crying, so it was safe to step out.
yoongi's door closed with a soft click as jimin opened his but he didn't dwell
too much on it, making his way to jin's workplace and texting taehyung to meet
him there.
when he made it to the bakery, taehyung already had both of their usual drinks
sat on a tabletop. "thanks," jimin called, scurrying to sit on the booth. he
looked around with a frown. "where's jin?"
"his day off," taehyung replied, scrolling through his phone. "what about you?
where are you?"
jimin blinked at him in surprise. "what do you mean where am i? i'm right
here."
taehyung sighed, setting his phone down and taking a sip of his drink. "jimin,
you've been off since the party. your head's constantly in the clouds and your
emotions have been all over the place. plus, someone from dance told me you had
two weird marks on your shoulder and collarbone."
jimin thanked the gods for not making his cheeks flash red. "marks? those kids
are crazy."
"i'm just saying—."
"taehyung!" jungkook's voice called as he pounced on the boy. taehyung caught
him expertly, used to jimin doing this. he smiled at jungkook and scooted over
to let him sit. “i came with my friends! i wasn’t expecting to see you here!”
"jimin! come here! i want to introduce you to some people," yugyeom, one of
jungkook’s friends, called, earning a nod from jimin.
he excused himself from taehyung's booth but the other didn't seem to mind,
being completely absorbed into jungkook. "hi, i'm jimin," he greeted, nodding
at the new faces. it was a sizeable group and he only recognised the boy who
went by bambam (yugyeom's boyfriend) so he sat down awkwardly, next to the boy
named mingyu. he was chipper and talkative, so jimin felt himself relax,
engaging in friendly conversation with him.
he just wished the kid wasn't so touchy right at the first meeting.
mingyu was nice, yes, but he constantly touched his cheeks, or his hair, and
even rested his hand on jimin's thigh. jimin quirked a brow up at that, to
which mingyu slid his hand away. but not before he wrapped himself on jimin's
left side.
the chiming of the bell on the door pulled his attention to  the front, smiling
and waving at namjoon who was currently dragging in a grumpy jin. "joon, it's
my day off. this is the last place i wanna see," the older complained, tugging
at namjoon who wouldn't budge. yoongi walked in behind them with an eye roll
and jimin felt a wave of relief when their eyes met. yoongi frowned but made
his way to the group, abandoning his own friends.
he pulled up a chair next to jimin's, close enough so their thighs touched. the
heat of yoongi's touch made jimin almost jump out of how own seat, but he
cleared his throat. "hey, shortie. missed me?" yoongi propped his elbow on the
table, resting his chin on his hand and taking jimin's drink with his other,
taking a long sip. "who's this kid?" he drawled, gaze falling on mingyu.
"this is mingyu," jimin replied with a hint of a smile in hopes to calm the
fiery spark in yoongi's cold gaze. at first he had been grateful to see yoongi
in order to shake mingyu off indirectly, but now he feared for the kid. "we
just met, yoongi."
"hmm, is that so?" yoongi hummed, glaring at the kid clinging to jimin. “is
that why he’s clinging to you like that?” mingyu slowly peeled away from jimin,
awkwardly trying to start a conversation with a serious boy dressed in all
black, much like yoongi. the other boy ignored him flat out.
yoongi smirked in satisfaction, taking another sip of the cold coffee and jimin
yanked back his drink, frowning. "get your own, cheap ass." both of them
laughed a little, jimin's heart fluttering at the older's deeper sound.
"i like your shirt," called out a quiet voice, and both yoongi and jimin turned
to look at the other boy dressed in black. he was looking at jimin's chest, to
which yoongi replied by throwing his arm on jimin's shoulders.
"thanks," yoongi replied before jimin could respond. "it's actually mine, but i
guess our clothes got mixed up."
"w-wait... you guys live together?" mingyu squeaked.
"yep," yoongi replied, shifting to caress jimin's soft hair.
"so like, you guys eat breakfast and watch stuff together?" the boy continued
to prod.
"yes, kid."
"have you seen him shirtless?"
"i have—."
"yoongi. shut up, please," jimin begged, summoning an attack of silent laughter
from yoongi. he rested his head on jimin's shoulder as he recovered. then both
their phones went off.
mum❤️ to family chat: both of you boys come home now dinner is almost ready
yoongi held up a finger to jimin before typing in a response. jimin looked at
his phone as the message came in.
step-bother to family chat: wait, jiminny cricket is finishing his frap and i
need to put gas in my car. we're on our way.
step-bother to family chat: do you need anything from the shop mum?
jimin felt butterflies in his stomach seeing yoongi call her mum, unable to
stop himself from being happy for her.
mum❤️ to family chat: no thanks honey you two be safe and come back soon xx
"this brat and i need to leave now," yoongi spoke up, reaching for jimin's
drink again. "we have dinner and a list of japanese movies to watch. nice to
meet you all or whatever." he stood up and stretched, groaning. "say bye to
your friends, shortie. i'll wait for you in the car."
as yoongi walked out, jimin’s drink in hand, jimin turned around to taehyung
but the boy was already looking at him with a brow raised.
jimin knew he'd be questioned later.
 
(this chapter was actually like 3000 words long and i don’t even know how i
managed to shorten it this much)
***** back to normal *****
Chapter Summary
     yoongi has been trying his best to make things go back to the way
     they were after some words from a friend; it’s not exactly what
     either of them wants. an old friend of jimin’s comes back after
     having graduated two years ago and introduces him to a boy named
     chanyeol.
Chapter Notes
     hi henlo
     this flaming pot of shit takes place in America™ because
     1) my teenage experience mostly too place in the states and
     2) i’ve never lived in korea?? i can’t write it without feeling like
     i’m probably disrespecting someone? so yes just to clarify
jimin slid his textbooks into his locker with a sigh,disappointed that dance
had been cancelled. after a long, drab series of classes, it was the only thing
he had been looking forward to after an overcast day. a hand squeezed his butt
as he pulled out a binder and he shoved it back in, spinning around. "what the
fuck, yoongi?"
"hey, short stuff," he greeted with a smirk, snaking his arm around jimin's
waist. jimin pushed it off disdainfully. he was irritated with yoongi. after
they left the cafe a few days ago, things went back to the way they used to be:
cold glares, insults, ignoring each other, feigning civility in front of their
parents. they didn't even watch the movies. jimin was irritated mostly because
he never found out what the movies were and yoongi's music had gotten louder.
it wasn't because he missed the older's teasing. at all.
but now here they were. "what do you want?"
yoongi hummed, chocolate orbs storming. "well it'd be nice if you and your mum
left my family alone."
jimin scoffed. it's been a while since he heard these words and he felt
pathetic as the words stung. "news flash, yoongi. we are family whether you
like it or not."
yoongi pushed jimin against the lockers, his fist slamming the younger's locker
door shut. they were too close now, and jimin noticed there were a few kids
standing there and watching. it was understandable, since they've seen these
scenes before. the people who had their lockers in this wing already knew these
two hated each other. the only problem now was jimin wasn't so sure about that
hatred, especially when yoongi's smouldering gaze drifted to his lips and
lingered a little too long before looking up with a glower.
"listen to me, park. you're not my brother. she's not my mother. you're never
going to be family. your mum's a void filler and you're an unwanted bonus.
that's it." jimin tried to push himself off the lockers but yoongi's hands
slammed his shoulders back.
"you think i wanted this? you think i woke up one morning and said, 'hey! let
me ruin this emo bastard's life'?" jimin hissed, grabbing onto yoongi's upper
arms and trying to shove him off. as the younger struggled, yoongi thought back
to the first party, remembered the short kid with the rosy, chubby cheeks and
disheveled hair dancing and laughing, locking gazes with yoongi before winking.
"i think exactly that, yes," yoongi grounded, jaw taut as he stole another
glance at plump pink lips.
"well, keep thinking whatever the fuck you want. i'm going home. you hear that?
home. to our house. the house we live in together. because we're family. crazy
right? who knew marriages made people family? i'll see you at home, hyung,"
jimin sneered at the last part, kicking his knee to make him stagger as he
pushed yoongi off. he still needed his binder, but he didn't dare turn back
around as he reached the exit with a heavy sigh.
"i know that sigh anywhere. hi, jimin," a voice greeted. jimin whipped his head
around, eyes wide as saucers. "been a while," he continued as jimin practically
skipped to him.
"brent! dance team isn't the same without you! and you said you'd keep in touch
but you never did!" jimin reprimanded, shoving his shoulder lightly. the taller
boy rolled his eyes but ruffled his hair with a grin.
"been like two years since i graduated and you haven't changed. it's
refreshing. everyone just... everyone's so different now..."
heels clacking against asphalt made them look up as a girl rushed to them.
"jimin," she panted, hands on her knees. "oh, my god, you walk fast! are you
okay? did he do anything to you?"
brent narrowed his eyes at the girl, looming over her. "excuse me, who did what
to jimin?" the girl stuttered, blinking rapidly. "hey, i'm talking to—."
"i'm fine, brent. no one did anything to me." turning to the girl in heels
jimin offered a reassuring smile. "i'm fine, trust me. we just argued." after a
bit more insisting the girl left with a frown, and jimin turned back to brent.
"really, dude. i promise; this just happens sometimes. it never escalates past
insults. but! why are you here?"
the taller boy beamed, momentarily forgetting his worries. "yeah! i'm staying
over here for the weekend and just passed by for a few recommendation letters.
i'm actually waiting on a friend right now since tonight's the night." jimin
blinked in confusion, brow arching up. "jimin. the night. come on! you have to
know!"
jimin shook his head. "i am... quite lost. what do you mean 'the night'? is
something happening?"
brent sighed. "that's it. i'll pick you up around six, maybe seven. you still
live at the same place right? that big apartment building with the red
elevators?"
jimin scratched at his wrist, shaking his head. "uh, no... i actually live a
good ten, fifteen minutes away from here, walking. i'll send you—." laughter
interrupted him and both brent and jimin turned to the pair walking toward the
car park. yoongi walked stiffly, jaw clenched, while hoseok tightened his grip
around his waist, saying something else before bursting out into laughter.
"i'll... send you the address," he continued. yoongi spun around then, at the
sound of jimin's voice, despite not being too loud.
"short stuff, need a ride?" he called, hand cupping his mouth to amplify the
sound. jimin flipped him off but instantly regretted it when he shook hoseok
off and stalked to him. "i'm gonna ask nicely, again: do you want a ride? it
looks like it might rain. look, you can ride in the back seat if you don't
wanna—."
"brent! let's go!" they heard a voice call, then a car's horn. brent pushed
jimin away toward the car.
"looks like our ride is here! bye!" yoongi let out a couple mangled words of
confusion as jimin walked toward the mint green vw bug, still lost. "so i'm
guessing you got into a fight with your boyfriend. most importantly, your wish
from two years ago came true. so, has the 'emo fuck' ridden you into the
sunrise?"
"brent! not you, too! shut up! and he is most definitely not my boyfriend!"
brent cackled and pushed jimin toward the car as the younger attempted to glare
at him.
"hey, chanyeol! this is jimin, one of seokjin's mates, and he's invited to
tonight. can we take him home so he can get ready?"
jimin peered into the taller boy's soft gaze, feeling his cheeks combust as he
noticed chanyeol checking him out with a blush of his own.
"okay, i'll take your weird ass silence as approval. hop in, jimin. he looks
like an idiot when he's drooling but he's a good driver." chanyeol looked away,
but not without checking for actual drool.
jimin thought he was absolutely adorable.
***** the warehouse *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin arrives at the get together spot and understands why they don’t
     call the unconventional gathering a party; finds out yoongi raps.
     yoongi tries to settle things between them.
     (oof)
taehyung hummed, walking around jimin and inspecting the entire outfit, nodding
in approval. "you're right, jimin, these pants make your ass look like a whole
fucking feast!" he grinned and jumped in front of jimin, making the shorter
stagger. "i just want to know why you're suddenly approving the art that is my
hoetry." his eyes lit up. "did you meet someone?"
jimin laughed a little shaking his head. "besides the dude that gave me a ride
home, nope." taehyung's eyes narrowed to thin slits. "taetae... i'm serious!
there's no one new! i just want to look good because some of my senior friends
from when i was a freshman are gonna be there!"
"sure, sure. thanks for inviting me, by the way. and thanks for getting them to
allow kookie in, too. i don't know how you do it," taehyung mumbled with a
sigh. "you're like an angel. oh, speaking of angels... someone said yoongi
grabbed your butt and then pinned you against the lockers and then you two
argued before you kneed him and met with a tall blond dude. mind explaining why
yoongi grabbed your butt?" jimin felt the blood rushing to his cheeks, warmth
spreading on his face. "so you're following my advice! yes! get some ass! is
that why you want to look good tonight?!"
"tae, tae, tae! slow down! what? first off, no dude! second off, i doubt
yoongi's going to this, it seems exclusive. i just wanna dress nice. but..."
taehyung's eyes widened as jimin drifted off. "we had... watched a few movies
together and ordered pizza... it was nice while it lasted." the younger of the
two noticed the disappointment lacing his tone and sighed, tugging him in and
hugging him.
"you know what? you're gonna slay tonight. and you're gonna find a dude, and
his dick will blow your mind and make you forget about your evil step brother
like the cute little cinderella you are."
"i doubt cinderella—. never mind. there's no arguing with you."
taehyung grinned and then pushed himself and jimin toward the big mirrors.
"dude, look at us. we're works of art. we are hot!" he sighed, wiping a fake
tear. jimin just beamed at his best friend's antics.
                                  ————***————
the "get together" location was a two-storey warehouse that used to be a marine
supply base but had been abandoned after relocation. it was in the middle of
nowhere, and now jimin understood why brent had suggested to pick him up at
six. brent happily parked his van, laughing at something seokjin had said. the
entire drive had consisted of taehyung, jungkook, jimin, kyungsoo, and the boy
named chanyeol getting to know each other. it was a long three hours, but jimin
had learned a lot, even about kyungsoo, who he had already met before.
the seven boys hopped out of the car, jin, brent, and kyungsoo staying behind
to unload coolers full of different drinks. jimin had suggested bringing chips
or something to keep their stomachs balanced, but they didn't listen. jungkook
and taehyung walked ahead, leaving chanyeol and jimin behind. "so," chanyeol
tried, clearing his throat. "you look... wow. you... look nice." jimin lifted a
brow playfully, but then giggled, smiling up at the giant with the gentle eyes.
"why do you have to smile at me like that?" he said with a frown. "you're too
cute."
jimin ignored the giddiness that came with chanyeol's flattering words,
smiling. "i've been told. i'm oftentimes compared to an angel," he chirped,
letting his eyes roam. he noticed a lot of pickups and vans. in one of the
pickups, a huge, red raptor, sat a guy with a guitar, a couple of people
singing along. jimin approved the atmosphere. this was going to be cool.
he noticed a lot of familiar faces, and they waved and greeted him as they
hauled in coolers and power generators and someone even brought a dog along.
chanyeol wound his arm around jimin's waist and led him inside. "you'll like it
here. it starts out chill, but gets loud gradually. you did tell your mum you
weren't going home tonight right? we tend to bring this to the am." jimin
nodded.
"she's fine with it. she told me to call in case of anything. i brought a power
bank just in case."
"smart."
upon entering, jimin's eyes widened. christmas lights and lamps with coloured
lightbulbs littered the place, along with giant bean bags, some small
trampolines, foldable chairs, and inflatable mattresses covered in blankets and
pillows. this was not what he expected at all. some kid was blowing bubbles,
another trying to pop them all before they hit the floor.
what the fuck?
he noticed some girls taking photos with polaroid cameras and a boy just
painting on a wall. he noticed some kids playing cluedo, and others lighting
cigarettes as they wrote their names on the wall. "i thought this would be wild
as fuck," jimin mumbled, "but like everything is so chill."
"well, it gets wild, but they tend to start like this. oh look. jiyong and
seunghyun!"
"who?" jimin asked, brows furrowing.
"GD!" someone hooted. a tall boy with bright hair and neon green pyjamas raised
his arms.
"heyyyy! seunghyun my boy!" he yelled, approaching the guy who had called out
first. he was also wearing pyjamas, though he opted for a pitch black flannel
set that contrasted against hot pink hair.
jimin was beyond lost.
"freestyle, freestyle, freestyle!" people began to chant, confusing jimin even
more. freestyle swim? dance? rap?
"yes! i'm down! who's down?!" the one named seunghyun called out and some guys,
and surprisingly some girls, approached him and made a circle. "where's the
other three?" he wondered, looking around. "we can't do it without them."
"i'm here," jimin heard a familiar gruff voice call out. he skillfully jumped
off from the top of the staircase that led to the second storey, landing on a
beanbag. namjoon and hoseok walked down the stairs like normal people, but
jimin was too distracted to notice, enthralled by the smooth way yoongi had
landed that unnecessary leap, blunt between his lips, and the way he
straightened up from his crouch and crept smoothly and languidly to the rest of
the crowd as he took another drag and kept the blunt between his fingers. lots
of people hooted and catcalled, and jimin held his breath when yoongi peered up
at him, sending him a small smirk from behind the white cloud escaping his
lips.
"let's go to the second level," chanyeol suggested, breaking the weird tugging
sensation jimin felt as he made eye contact with yoongi. "they have snacks up
there and we can watch the freestyle from up there."
as they walked up the stairs, jimin frowned. "yoongi raps?"
"yes, he does. in his freshman year, he participated in the talent show, blew
the judges away. the kid's got talent, but he said he doesn't see himself
making it a career." chanyeol grabbed a red tray and piled it up with different
foods. "we'll share trays because these idiots always end up bringing too few.
but anyway, what about you?" they walked to the edge of the second level and
sat down, feet hanging below. "any talents?"
"i dance and paint. i like to sing, but i wouldn't consider it a talent."
"i bet you sing great," chanyeol prodded, arm still somehow around jimin. the
shorter of the two, in all honesty, hadn't even noticed.
"nah, i'm pretty mediocre at best—."
he stopped talking when he heard a whiny, raspy voice slamming words at the
speed of a thousand kilometres a second, and he looked down at yoongi, who was
moving around funnily as he strung hundreds of words together in one breath.
the way he ended his part of the freestyle, with people jumping and shouting
around him, and the way he swept his hair back had jimin staring, completely
immobile.
that was the hottest fucking thing i've witnessed in my entire life, he
thought, and i'm going to hell for thinking like that.
chanyeol and jimin stayed quiet, eating their foods and cheering for the other
rappers. when the circle grew and they started up again, this time in what
seemed like a versus thing, jimin got up. "hey, i'm gonna go get fresh air," he
said, biting his lip. "there's no city lights and the sky is full of stars and
i kind of want to take advantage of this." chanyeol unwound his arm from
jimin's small waist and nodded, jimin shooting him a quick thanks before almost
bolting out the door.
god, listen. i'm trying to stay in my god damned lane but he raps like a
fucking god and i need fresh air to calm my hormones,jimin mentally called out.
as he exited the building, he heard loud cheers coming from within and figured
the rap battles were going well. he found a ladder and climbed up, grimacing as
he touched what felt like spiderwebs but not backing out. he removed his
jacket, wincing at the cold nipping at his exposed skin and setting it down on
the roof in order to sit. he let his feet hang off the ledge, looking up at the
stars and humming.
"captured effortlessly, that's the way it was. happened so naturally, did not
know it was love. the next thing i felt was you, holding me close—." the sound
of someone clambering up cut him off, and he leaned forward just as a hand
gripped his foot. he covered his mouth before a shriek escaped him. "yoongi,"
he hissed. "what the fuck, dude?"
the older shrugged, the same brown roll emitting smoke tightly clenched between
his lips as he made it successfully to the top. he unzipped and got out of his
hoodie and threw it on jimin's head, shrugging. "you left before i roasted the
fuck out of mark, so i came to roast the fuck out of you, instead." he frowned,
helping jimin slide his hoodie on, fixing the hood on him and zipping it up .
"or at least keep you at homeostasis."
jimin rolled his eyes with a snort. "worry about your own homeostasis," he
sassed. "i'm tired of you being so hot and cold. work on that instead."
"i'm here to change that," yoongi admitted, trying to hold jimin's gaze with
his. he cupped his chin with cold digits, thumb softly caressing his cheek.
"i've been stuck in my own turmoil and been unfair."
"put that thing out, i hate the smell of marijuana," jimin complained. the
older just took a long drag and slowly exhaled the smoke against jimin's face,
placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth as jimin lost himself in the haze.
that was hot,he thought. why was that hot?
"but baby, you know i drink and i smoke and i talk too much..." yoongi
whispered against jimin's neck, putting out the blunt anyway. "so i hope you
take me in like this." jimin's heart began to thud irregularly, face flush. "so
be my boyfriend, is what i mean."
"what?"
***** is that a yes? *****
Chapter Summary
     on the rooftop, in the cold, barely-october breeze, beneath the
     stars. jimin never thought the first time he’d be asked out would
     take place in just the perfect scenario.
"woah there, pal. slow down. you can't just say that without like, i don't
fucking know," jimin threw his hands up in a mix of exasperation and confusion,
"some sort of fucking explanation!" he took a deep breath through his nose to
calm himself, and caught a hint of the same honey smell through the
overpowering smell of weed. "you can't just say..." he drifted off as yoongi
grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers.
"it's because of chanyeol, isn't it? is it because he's taller? is it because
he's a big bad college student?" he peered up at jimin through his lashes.
"tell me, jimin, you're... are you dating him?"
jimin sighed, clenching his fingers around yoongi's. "no, we just met today.
brent asked him if i could get a ride home, is all. and then he hitched a ride
to the party with us."
yoongi looked up at the stars and sighed, nodding. "so the arm around your
waist... it was like a friendly, platonic thing then, right?" jimin didn't know
what the older was talking about, frowning.
"arm? what?"
yoongi shrugged, still not looking at him but shifting their hands so that
their fingers interlocked. "he had his arm around you since you entered,
but..." with a quiet chuckle, he shook his head. "i'm relieved. oh, god. you
know... during the freestyle... and for the versus, i tried my best to seem
impressive to you, but you walked out. maybe i should try something else?"
jimin was taken aback at the serious tone in his already usually somber voice,
and the delicate, slow way he was talking. he kept looking at the stars, hand
sometimes squeezing jimin's when the silence carried on too long. because of
the cold, his nose, cheeks, and lips were a bright pink, and against the pale
canvas of his face, it looked absolutely ethereal.
"i was only there for the freestyle, but you were the coolest." he tried his
best to recall the name of the guy with the bright neon hair, having noticed he
had been the most popular. "jiyong has competition." jimin watched as yoongi
pressed his lips together, but a small smile escaped his lips anyway.
"you're just saying that," yoongi relented, lips twitching. "jiyong is
untouchable."
"i don't care," jimin rebutted before biting his lip. "you're the only one i
want to touch, anyway." yoongi's head snapped around toward jimin, eyes wide.
"w-wait, that sounded weird!"
"is that a yes? to being my boyfriend, i mean?"
"yoongi..." heaving a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair, the older following
the movement of his free hand with a steady gaze. "i don't know. these weeks
have been a mess. and... well, i think you're not taking into account our
parents are married to each other and—."
"we can keep it a secret, jiminie... no one has to know if you don't want them
to. just..." he leaned closer, once again seeking that eye contact that made
electric currents flood his bloodstream. "say yes? i'll try my best to make it
work but you need to let me in first." the sound of glass shattering made him
roll his eyes. "oh, god. the peace was nice while it lasted. anyway, jimin...
yes?"
"i..."
loads of different thoughts flooded jimin's head as he looked down at his lap,
taking a deep breath. the silence, and the bullying, and the arguments that
he's had to put up with clashed against blushes and bright smiles, kisses and
soft whispers, and the way his heartbeat went erratic with just a second of
locking gazes. he thought of butterfly tattoos, ramen bowls, pounding music and
soft lips.
and then, one final thought moved into his head.
well, it's not like we're brothers.
he took a deep breath, turning to a sullen yoongi worrying his lower lip. "yes,
i—." cold lips claimed his, their intertwined hands between them as yoongi used
his free one to bring jimin's face closer. this kiss felt so different, so new.
there was no lust in the slow, gentle movement and the way yoongi delicately
cradled his face. jimin was experiencing absolute bliss. the noise built up
beneath them, but yoongi chuckled against the younger's lips smiling widely as
he pulled away. jimin found himself staring at the soft lips pulled up into a
grin, biting his own. "y-you didn't let me finish," he finally let out.
"well, yes and no don't sound the same, so..."
"can i kiss you again?"
yoongi lifted their twined hands and kissed jimin's knuckles before letting go
in order to pull him closer. "baby, you don't have to ask."
***** chicken *****
Chapter Summary
     mark cockblocks in the most unexpected way: an unannounced game of
     chicken.
yoongi unzipped the hoodie and pushed the hood down, simultaneously brushing
his hand through the younger's hair as he planted soft kisses on his neck.
jimin was taking short, shallow breaths as yoongi's teeth sank into his
delicate skin and delectable lips attached himself to jimin's neck. "hyung,"
jimin tried, but his voice drifted into a breathy moan as yoongi followed the
constellation of love bites from his shoulder blade to his lips with his
tongue. jimin's world was spinning much too quickly. he felt like he'd spin out
of control and crash against the gravelly ground below.
lost in the messily ardent kiss, yoongi found himself pulling jimin up in his
lap, not once peeling from him to accomplish the task. the other's small hands
reached up to tangle in his dark hair and he groaned, breaking from the kiss to
look at jimin properly. "just your smile drives me crazy," he let out
breathlessly and then resumed the kiss. "stop attacking me like this."
"you started," jimin retaliated, words drifting off messily as yoongi too his
tongue between his teeth.
yoongi needed more, he realised, but it was too cold here. since jimin had
taken his hoodie, he was getting all his warmth from the younger, but he
decided going further was going to expose them to the biting october breeze.
the music beneath them started up louder.
"hello, welcome to the other side," theweeknd's life of the party began. jimin
took his hands and placed them on yoongi's cold cheeks, pulling him away.
"yoongi—. hyung," he corrected himself, "you're very cold. take your hoodie
back." yoongi pouted and shook his head. "why not? you're freezing!"
"go downtown with the drugs in your body. take that step, you're the life of
the party."
"i like seeing you in my clothes," he answered simply. this cued a blush from
jimin and he shifted on yoongi's lap while biting his lip. yoongi held back a
groan at the friction. "we need to not do this when it's so cold, i really want
to—." loud bangs beneath them interrupted yoongi, both of them jumping at the
sound. "what the fuck was—?"
"min! come the fuck out from wherever you're hiding! i'm gonna kick your ass!"
they heard a voice—mark—call out.
yoongi rolled his eyes and pushed jimin up, standing and leading him slowly and
quietly to the centre of the roof and sitting down. "let's stay here so they
don't see our feet. last thing i need is bitch ass mark cock-blocking."
"yoongi, you fag, come out here if you're a real man!"
"this bitch—." yoongi began, but jimin frantically stopped him by pulling their
faces together again. "jiminie, no amount of kisses is gonna stop me from
kicking his ass."
"do it later," jimin pleaded against the corner of his mouth, more for mark's
sake. "stay here."
"is my baby asking for more?" without giving jimin a chance to respond, yoongi
pushed him back against the roof, straddling him. he rocked his hips against
jimin and the younger's next words staggered in the back of his throat, arching
his back. "good, baby," yoongi groaned. "look at me." jimin did as he was told,
biting his lip as shots by LMFAO began playing. yoongi rolled his eyes. "this
is not a sex song."
"ignore it," jimin replied, voice taking an unexpectedly husky tone. yoongi was
surprised at how arousing jimin's voice had sounded. since when did such a cute
little thing have such a deep voice? he leaned down to kiss jimin but the
younger dodged, pressing his lips against yoongi's pale neck, tongue grazing
the butterflies. "it's my turn," he murmured before leaving his own marks
behind, revelling in yoongi's low moans and feathery gasps.
"yoongi! come out here, little bitch! are you off sticking your dick into—?
ow!" mark called out, words cutting off suddenly.
jimin felt something in his gut stir. what if mark did come up here? "hyung, we
should head back down. what if my friends are looking for me? and what about
you? weren't you rapping? what if hoseok is looking—."
"why bring him up all of a sudden?" yoongi bit off with sudden irritation,
leaving his position on top of jimin.
"i-i just... you two seem close, so i just figured you—. why did you get
angry?"
yoongi looked at the panic in jimin's eyes and he sighed, leaning in to kiss
the younger's forehead. "i just don't want you to think i'm close to anyone
else but you, is all." he flinched internally at the adorable grin jimin gave
him, eyes squinting into slits. his own heart scrunched up like jimin's nose,
and he felt a pain in his chest. damn it, he thought, he's too fucking
beautiful, what am i doing? "baby, zip up. you can't get sick." he pressed a
last kiss on the angry pink marks on jimin's neck before zipping up the hoodie.
he looked up and jimin was still smiling, tip of his nose and apples of his
cheeks a bright rose. "god, you're so precious."
"you really think so?"
"baby—."
an engine revving, tires screeching, and people shouting and screaming
interrupted yoongi, but before he could speak again, he heard a loud crash.
it sounded unmistakably like a car collision.
yoongi stood up, throwing a frantic look at jimin. "baby, stay here. i'm gonna
see what happened. i'll text you if it's safe to come down." he took off,
grabbing jimin's abandoned jacket and shrugging it on before making his way
down the ladder quickly.
he ran to the direction of the collision, squeezing his way through the crowd,
shaking his head at the panic around him. but then, he made it out of the
multitude of people and felt his heart hammer in his chest.
his small sedan was completely reduced to nothing beneath mark's pickup.
mark jumped out of his truck, which had taken considerable damage but nothing
like yoongi's car, and smiled despite the blood dripping from his head down to
his face. "it's called chicken. it's more fun when both participants are
present," he drawled, shit eating grin on full display.
yoongi looked at his car, or rather the remains of it, and felt everything spin
around him. he felt like he was falling as he clumsily fumbled through his
jeans pockets, feeling everyone's eyes on him. thoughts of his mother flooded
his mind as he desperately scrolled through his contacts to a number he had
never called before.
as the phone rang in his ear, everything moved slowly. he heard voices calling
out to him, and butterfly effect by travis scott playing in the background, and
the words of fear and confusion and anger spiralling around him. but then the
other end clicked to life, just as hoseok reached to yoongi and grabbed his
arm.
"hyung, should i go down now? i'm curious," he whined. "hyung? yoongi? hey!
yoongi?"
"jiminie... i can't... i need..."
hoseok took the phone from him and hung up, easing him on the ground. a few
minutes later jimin pushed through the crowd, buried in yoongi's hoodie, and
froze as he saw the mess in front of him.
a drunken car crash had been the way yoongi's mum lost her life.
***** ready to pounce *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin seldom gets angry, but this time is with good reason.
hoseok tried to shake him out of his daze, but yoongi wouldn't move. jimin
turned around, tears in his eyes swiftly blinked away as he expression stormed
with anger. "who," he began, "the fuck did this? huh?! step forward you
fucking—."
"it was me," mark answered nonchalantly, swaying to the right before
controlling his balance once more. "it's a game, jimin. it's called chicken.
the rules are simple—." he didn't finish his explanation because jimin grabbed
him by the collar of his shirt and everything suddenly moved too quickly for
him. "w-woah, short stuff. i have a head injury? be careful."
"you—."
"jimin, let go of him! if something happens you can get in trouble!" a voice
called. jimin didn't know who it was, but he dropped his hands and stepped back
from him, shaking his head as the song changed. he turned to yoongi who was sat
on the floor, hoseok holding on to him and trying to get him to talk. "step
away from him," he spat. hoseok looked up at him in disbelief, scoffing.
"excuse you?"
"he said to move the fuck away." it was yoongi who replied, and then he tilted
his head up at jimin. "jiminie, everything is tilting to the left."
"i'm calling my mum," jimin answered, sliding his phone out from the pocket of
his jeans.
"jimin, wait" yoongi croaked, "i lied to my dad about where i was. they're
gonna get mad."
jimin glared down at him and yoongi looked down away from his gaze. "this is
why i keep shit honest. i told them where i was gonna be. don't worry. i'll
cover your ass. but god knows this is the last time." he pressed dial and
yoongi looked back up, pushing hoseok away after getting his phone back. yoongi
was still under the effects of the slight panic that had taken him over, but he
was hyper-focused on jimin as his soft hand brought the phone to the ear hiding
in the hood. "hey, ma. were you asleep?"
"no, i'm watching a movie with your father," she replied with a giggle. "i
know, it's almost three am but we couldn't resist having the house to
ourselves! what's wrong hon? i hear music and people, is the party not going
good?"
"mum, code blue. leave the room, we need to talk."
at this, his mum, quietly excused herself from the loveseat, apologetic words
pleading her husband to pause the movie and wait. "okay, honey. what's up?"
"you need to pick me and yoongi up, please. he's not doing well, and his car is
completely totalled. it's a three hour drive though. can you?"
"woah, wait! pick you and yoongi up? but yoongi's at namjoon's house! his car
is wrecked? what? i need to tell your father! honey!" she bellowed the last
word, "come here!"
"mum," he hissed. "promise me code blue applies," he tried.
"it does. tell me the address."
"is that jimin?" he heard mr min's voice ask as he told his mum the address to
the party.
"we'll be there shortly, dear. focus on not getting the cops involved for now.
we're on our way."
at the look of panic in everyone's eyes, jimin sighed. "don't worry, my parents
aren't calling the cops. just go back to doing your thing."
"dude," seokjin and brent called unanimously, jogging to them. "mark is fucking
psycho! all this over a rap battle," brent huffed.
"yoongi, hey, would you like some water?" jin asked. yoongi nodded weakly, eyes
glazed over as he looked at his car. mark was being nursed by the guy jimin
recognised as jackson, and someone droned on at yoongi about his cousin being
able to tow his and mark's car away with no consequence or payment. jimin
wanted to hug him, comfort him, but two things were stopping him.
one: their relationship was supposed to be a god damned secret.
and, two: hoseok was glaring at jimin almost as if he wanted to pounce.
***** closer than you think *****
Chapter Summary
     after a failed attempt at making something edible, the seven boys
     split duties to cut meal wait time shorter. however, they end up
     getting some unexpected guests.
by the time mark's and jimin and yoongi's parents showed up, everyone had
already left.
now jimin sat next to a shivering yoongi on the ground, trying to press himself
against him enough to offer some warmth. yoongi bit his lip and looked away.
hoseok had left the moment he could and he didn't even ask him if he was doing
alright anymore. namjoon had, but namjoon has always been with him through
thick and thin. still, hoseok and namjoon knew better than anyone how much his
mother's death affected him, the least hoseok could have done was say goodbye.
mr min was intimidating, jimin knew, but seeing him threaten mark's dad sent
shivers down his own spine, but he couldn't be angry at the way mr min was
reacting.
yoongi could have potentially been in the car.
"yoongi," jimin tried, but stopped himself when yoongi shifted away. "okay.
i'll shut up."
after the shady tow company took the wrecked cars away, they all jumped into
their respective cars. the ride home was almost quiet. mr min occasionally let
out a few words of relief, jimin's mum added in words of comfort. mr min was
very grateful jimin and yoongi had been together. otherwise, would yoongi have
called for help?
probably not.
"yoongi, dear... this is why you need to be more open with us," jimin's mum
tried, turning to the backseat with a small and reassuring smile. "things like
this could happen at any moment, to anyone."
"fuck off," yoongi mumbled, "you're taking the step-mother role too fucking
seriously. you will never be more than my mum's fourth replacement."
"yoongi, i swear to god, not now. have some respect," mr min snapped lowly,
hands clenching around the steering wheel.
yoongi regretted the words the moment they left his lips, anyway, but the
leftover weed in his system, the anxiety, and everything just piled up and he
was insulting the only one of his dad's women who actually cared for and
accepted him. he felt jimin shuffle away from him, pressing himself against the
passenger door, just as jimin's mum's shoulders dropped in defeat.
"no, honey. don't yell at him, i understand," she replied sorrowfully, crossing
her arms as she turned back to face the road. "but i'm not taking back my
words. you're special, yoongi. we love you. it hurts me to even think something
bad could have happened to you." her voice quivered at the end as she swallowed
the lump in her throat. "y-you kids sleep. we'll wake you up when we get
there."
jimin sniffed as quietly as he could, using the sleeve of yoongi's hoodie to
wipe at his eyes slowly as to not catch anyone's attention, but yoongi noticed.
he tended to notice a lot about jimin.
jimin's mum didn't deserve being talked to like that. he felt worn. he had been
absolutely elated earlier. in yoongi's arms, he had felt amazing. and now here
they were.
jimin's silent tears lulled him to sleep but yoongi stayed wide awake, longing
to reach to jimin's cheeks and wipe the crystal droplets streaming down his
sleeping face.
jimin was hurting.
yoongi wasn't so sure this was what he wanted anymore.
maybe asking him out was a big mistake.
                                  ————***————
jimin stirred with a sleepy groan, reaching for his phone groggily. "hello?" he
grumbled, rolling over onto his back.
"jimin!" taehyung dragged out, "come over to jin's place! we're making
breakfast!" tae enthused from the other side of the line, making jimin wince.
"come on and hurry! plus, we need to talk!"
"tae, you weren't supposed to say that!" he heard jungkook reprimand. jimin
decided it was much too early to even try to understand what they were
prattling about.
"stop yelling. i'm on my way." jimin hung up and checked the time. it was
already two in the afternoon. his battery was at five percent but that would do
until he could charge it at jin's house. he didn't bother slipping out of his
pyjamas, opting for just brushing his teeth and taming his hair.
jimin passed yoongi's room door, slightly ajar, and scoffed. of course he was
out already.
he walked almost forty minutes to jin and jungkook's house, and the door was
open already. jimin immediately understood why. there was smoke coming out from
the house. when he stepped in, covering his nose and mouth with his hand, jin
yanked him closer to the living room and handed him a face mask, even though he
himself wasn't wearing one. "cover up. this is the last time i let them take
over brunch."
"is jimin here already?" chanyeol called as he peered out of the kitchen. jimin
stopped the process of sliding on the mask as the tall boy smiled. "he is!
you're still in pyjamas! can you get any cuter than that?"  the others walked
out of the kitchen to greet him and jimin smiled at them all, returning their
words.
"jimin, are those hickies?!" jin shrieked, pointing at his neck.
jimin mentally facepalmed. how could he have forgotten to cover them? he was
going to kick yoongi in the nuts for this. "uhm, no?" he replied, reaching to
cover his neck with his hand.
jin got closer to take a better look but taehyung butt in, pushing him away
slightly. "jin, they're just like bug bites or something. i got some myself,"
he tried to defend, turning around and showing jin the back of his neck, then
lifting the sleeves of his loose jumper to show him mosquito bites that had
been (very obviously) scratched at and severely irritated. "see?"
"oh, my god! you guys were attacked by vampires not mosquitoes! i'll be back, i
have this ointment...." he drifted off as he disappeared down the hall. the
rest returned to the kitchen and jungkook and tae stayed behind with jimin.
"mosquito bites my ass, jimin," taehyung declared with narrowed eyes, "we're
talking later."
"w-wait... do you...?"
"best brother in the world jin is here! okay, you two. slather this on, i'm
turning on a few fans to clear the air here and chanyeol, brent, and kyungsoo
are gonna go and get some food for us while i clean the kitchen. understood?"
jin didn't wait for anyone to reply, disappearing once again in order to get
the fans for the smoke after handing taehyung the bottle.
jimin frowned as he stared at the bottle in taehyung's hand, knowing he had no
need for it. he decided not to wear it and plopped down on the sofa, fiddling
with the face mask in his hand. he felt the couch sink next to him and looked
up to see chanyeol smiling at him softly. "hey, sorry that seokjin put you on
the spot like that, i'm sure he had no ill intentions."
jimin observed the way his shaggy brown hair almost covered his eyelids, and
how smooth and almost glowing his skin was, and how kind his eyes felt. he
wished he wasn't so weird on eye contact so he could keep peering into them but
he looked down with a sigh. "it's fine, chanyeol. and i'm sorry i ended up
leaving you at the party." the front door shut but then reopened with an
apology from kyungsoo and jimin looked up at the taller boy, frowning. "are you
not going with them?"
he shook his head with a scowl. "brent's driving scares me. but yesterday,
yoongi called you and you... you almost beat up mark... and you guys had
swapped jackets... are you guys...?"
"they're step brothers," jin interrupted, sitting on the couch across from us.
jungkook and taehyung joined on the floor next to jin's feet.
"y-yeah," jimin tried, "we switched jackets because his was warmer."
"which reminds me, jimin. how are things with him? is he still a nightmare?"
jin asked lightly.
jimin grew uncomfortable as he saw taehyung's lips twitch and jungkook clear
his throat to stifle a giggle. "he's... i don't know."
"i see that you two talk more now," jin added in happily. "that's great!" he
reached to jungkook's hair and piled it up into a messy ponytail. a few weeks
ago, if yoongi had attempted to do that to jimin, the younger would have sliced
his hand off with a butter knife. now, he found himself not being too sure.
"hopefully you two grow to be more close!" jin concluded, admiring his
handiwork. jungkook hid his face against taehyung's shoulder as tae pursued eye
contact with jimin, showing him a crooked smirk.
jimin could already hear the mocking thoughts of 'closer than you think' and
'they do more than talk' running through taehyung's (and perhaps even
jungkook's) mind and he felt his face redden.
luckily, chanyeol stood up and grabbed his phone, connecting a portable speaker
on the coffee table to it. "while the others return, we can listen to some
music," he suggested as he detected jimin's discomfort. the boy was an open
book.
he scrolled some through a list and then clicked on his screen. the music
immediately invaded their ears and chanyeol promptly began singing along. "here
comes the sun, doo doo-doo, here comes the sun, and i say, it's alright."
chanyeol belted, a little off tune. jin and jungkook joined in, and then
taehyung, and then suddenly the living room was full of singing and laughter.
jungkook kept gesturing for jimin to join in, but he shook his head until
jungkook pouted and looked away. he looked to the side, to chanyeol sitting
next to him. he was already looking at him with an encouraging grin.
"little darling, i feel that ice is slowly melting," jimin sang along, feeling
himself smile as chanyeol's own beam widened. "little darling, it feels like
years since it's been clear." the four of them then concluded the song,
laughing and clapping for each other. jimin found himself gazing at chanyeol as
his features softened and mellowed, only a hint of a smile on his lips now.
every time jimin looked at him, he found something he liked about him, like his
nose, or his eyelashes, or the strands of hair tangling with his eyebrows. he
smiled sheepishly and his face reddened as he realised he was openly checking
him out. not that chanyeol minded.
"that was cute and all," a raspy, deep voice sneered, "but you guys should
probably close the fucking front door for your own safety." jimin was the last
one to look up at namjoon, yoongi, and hoseok, dreading it for some reason.
when his eyes met yoongi's, that familiar weight in his belly made itself
present. jimin knew the feeling already, but he didn't know how to feel.
yoongi's orbs stormed against his as namjoon made his way to seokjin. jimin was
able to break eye contact— despite not really wanting to look away— and his
eyes landed on hoseok's arm around yoongi's waist. he looked up at yoongi with
an eye roll and turned back around to face chanyeol.
yoongi pushed hoseok's arm off with a grimace, approaching jimin on the couch.
"okay, shortie. let's go."
jimin looked up and scoffed. "what? no. i just got here."
"i'm not asking you. mum said she wants you back home," yoongi hissed.
"hey, dude, chill. jimin literally just—."
"shut up, park," yoongi spat, interrupting chanyeol. the tall boy stood up and
sauntered to him but despite the height difference, yoongi stood his ground,
glaring daggers into chanyeol's skull. jimin found himself staring at yoongi,
feeling a weird tug at his chest as the older readied himself for a fight.
rather than being daunted by the height difference, yoongi looked
intimidatingly pissed as he peered up at the other boy with a scowl. "you know
what, park? this doesn't even have anything to do with you. you have no say in
where jimin goes and where he doesn't. or what, you're gonna tell me you're
dating?"
"and you are?" chanyeol rebutted, growing both uneasy and exasperated.
yoongi hesitated for a second that felt too long, but he shook it off with a
snort. "come on, jimin. let's not keep mum waiting."
"i'm not going with you. she would have called me."
yoongi grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him to his feet. "yes, because your
phone is on, right? do you take pleasure in worrying people?"
jimin felt his heart sink at the last part, especially because yoongi looked
away after glowering at him. he had forgotten he needed to charge his phone, he
had been planning on asking jungkook or jin for a charger. yoongi yanked him
out of the still-open door and dragged him by the wrist, beginning their walk
back to their house.
"i called you and texted you so many fucking times," yoongi choked out, words
mangled by the mix of anger and annoyance and making them almost indiscernible.
"you haven’t eaten have you? i was so worried! and what do i find? my so-called
fucking boyfriend making stupid ass puppy eyes at that giant, overgrown
asshole!"
"what about you?" jimin defended, trying to yank his arm away. yoongi just held
on to his wrist tighter. "hoseok was fucking wrapped around you—."
"that's fucking different!"
"how?! tell me because i can't fucking see how it is!"
"hoseok and namjoon have been around for a long time and hoseok is naturally
touchy! but you! you just met that asshole! well, let me tell you chanyeol has
love issues and he's been hung up on that asshole baekhyun for eons and if he
even shows a bit of interest towards you it's just because he's trying to use
you to forget the other guy! what? you think you're this fucking angel that can
make everyone fall for you? you're such a—! you're not a fucking angel. you
left me, even after what happened yesterday! didn't have anything to eat,
didn't even check if i had eaten anything, you didn't even check in with mum
and dad! you just up and left!"
"you left first! i walked by your room—."
"i was in the fucking garage looking for my old bike! god, you're so fucking...
stupid!"
"yoongi—."
"when we get home," yoongi pressed, "your ass is in so much fucking trouble."
***** hyung *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin and yoongi are both not adequately emotionally stable to work
     out their problems healthily, which results in a guilty yoongi and a
     crying jimin.
Chapter Notes
     this entire chapter is shit ass smut.
      
     sorry.
yoongi dragged him faster and faster until their house came into view and he
hastily threw the door open, pushing jimin inside and slamming the door once
both of them were in. his back was to jimin as he twisted the lock. "yoongi,"
jimin hissed, "what the fuck was that?"
but yoongi didn't answer. instead, he turned to him to reveal his bristled
mood. eyes wild and jaw clenched taut, yoongi had jimin's heart thumping
erratically.
"yoon—." he efficiently cut jimin off by cupping his face with both hands and
smashing their lips together in a messy, rough, angry collision of teeth and
spit. jimin pushed him off with all his strength and sprinted for the stairs
with the plan of locking himself in his room. but of course, yoongi pushed
himself through and shoved the younger backward until the back of his knees hit
the bed. he shoved him down to it and straddled him, pinning jimin's hands
against the pillows. their lips once again clashed together as yoongi hungrily
slipped his tongue between jimin's teeth.
jimin had to admit, under different circumstances this would have been
amazingly hot, but all he could feel right now was anger, and a little bit of
fear at the uncertainty of what was happening, what was going to happen, and
why he was behaving this way.
"okay, yoongi. we stop here. what the fuck do you think you're doing?" he asked
after he freed himself from the kiss. his voice had been loud enough, and he
hoped his mum would hear and come up to his rescue.
"what am i doing?" yoongi barked. "i'm kissing my boyfriend because it's my
right to do it because you're mine." he growled, reattaching his lips against
jimin's, biting down hard and pulling at his lower lip. jimin let out a yelp of
pain, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.
"stop—," he tried, but the words were muffled against yoongi's attacking lips.
jimin successfully managed to break away from the kiss by tilting his head to
the side. he glared up at a sneering yoongi who let go of the vicelike hold on
his wrists. "what the fuck was that, min? you better calm the fuck down. if
this is the way you're trying to make me like you, you're doing a shit job."
jimin was surprised at the steadiness of his voice.
yoongi was not. or, rather, he showed no emotion as he planted both his hands
on each side of jimin's face. "stop being such a slut," he snapped. jimin
glowered at him, about to lose any control on his emotions and lash out, but
stopped himself. he took a deep breath, taking in as much as he could of
yoongi's features. it seemed the older took it as a cue to kiss him hard and
passionately, hands sliding down to the hem of jimin's shirt and pulling it up,
tearing it off his body and throwing it to hell knows where. "you're mine. not
his," he gruffly pressed, attaching his mouth to jimin's neck like the little
vampire jimin had come to know. he unbuckled the younger's belt and with little
hassle pushed his jeans down and off. suddenly and with no notice, their
positions flipped, yoongi leaning against the headboard and jimin sat on his
lap, nearly naked, as yoongi continued to lick, bite and suckle on sensitive
skin.
"hyung, wait—!" he broke off with a gasp as yoongi's lips lowered to his chest.
if their parents were here, they could definitely hear the commotion coming
from jimin's room. however, in that moment, he couldn't really find it in him
to care because the feeling of being so intimately close, so warm, and yet so
dirty, felt incredible to him. he tugged at the hem of yoongi's shirt, a silent
plea to take it off. yoongi pulled away from jimin's chest and shrugged out of
the black fabric, throwing it next to the other discarded clothes. jimin could
feel how hard he was beneath him, and he thoughtlessly ground his hips down and
against his, licking a strip up from his neck to his lips. he rested his hands
on exposed pale shoulders, one of his thumbs caressing a nearby inked
butterfly, as the kiss languidly deepened.
yoongi groaned, sending vibrations down to jimin's rib cage and effortlessly
lifted him up, bringing their bodies even closer, hands clenching jimin's ass.
it was just like the night at hoseok's party: jimin was a desperate mess and
yoongi was the only thing keeping him centred, smoothly doing every motion as
if every nerve ending in jimin's body were laid out like a map.
"lift your hips, baby," yoongi commanded against full lips, unwilling to pull
away from the kiss. jimin did as he was told and yoongi clumsily but quickly
discarded his skinny jeans, kicking them off to the floor. jimin smirked
against his lips and bounced back down against the tent in yoongi's boxers.
"fuck," he grunted airily, pulling at jimin's lower lip with his teeth, a lot
more gently this time, grinding up against jimin in retaliation. the younger
tugged at the waistband of yoongi's boxers, only to be stopped by pale, strong
hands on his, eyebrows furrowed and panting.
"hyung," jimin pleaded, no shame in how needy he sounded because truth be told,
yoongi was driving him crazy. "please, hyung," he tried again, pulling at the
fabric.
yoongi scanned jimin's rosey face for a few seconds before speaking. "you're
mine," he declared, brushing the younger's bangs out of the way and lightly
running his fingertips across a crimson cheekbone. he then removed jimin's
hands and placed them around his neck, making him whine in protest. his hands
slid down to jimin's hipbones, one hand slipping under the material, brushing a
thumb against his tip. jimin choked out a gasp and buried his face in the crook
of yoongi's neck, feeling cold digits ghost around the base and trailing up
teasingly.
"hyung," jimin moaned, voice embarrassingly an octave higher. he couldn't stop
his hips from seeking more friction, rapidly growing addicted to the feeling.
yoongi finally relieved him of the brutally gentle touch and slid his hand
firmly around his length, drawing out a long, needy moan from jimin's lips.
"you sound so cute, jiminie," he growled teasingly against the corner of his
mouth, "so needy." his motions quickened just slightly and jimin jolted from
the pleasure, pressing his lips tightly shut to stop any more embarrassing
sounds from escaping him. it didn't help that yoongi was ever so slightly
moving his hips up against him. "be a good boy and strip for hyung," he said
lowly, removing his hand from inside jimin's boxers. eyes wide, jimin
hesitantly slid off the bed and shyly hooked his fingers under the elastic. he
could feel yoongi's eyes raking his entire body as a low chuckle escaped the
older. "i've never seen anyone blush all over. are you embarrassed, baby?"
"stop staring so much," jimin mumbled, worrying his lower lip lightly.
"so my baby is embarrassed. come here, then." yoongi scooted down to the edge
of the bed, summoning jimin to come closer. jimin trudged to him and yoongi
placed his hands atop jimin's, leaning up as much as he could to press a chaste
kiss on soft lips. he led jimin's hands to lower the last article of clothing
on his body so it dropped to his ankles in a small pool of fabric. "there," he
declared with a triumphant smirk, shuffling back against the headboard and
bringing jimin with him. he crawled back up on his lap and yoongi brought two
fingers to his mouth. "lick, baby." jimin did as he was told unquestioningly,
dragging his tongue on long digits, bouncing against yoongi's hips. he pulled
his fingers out of jimin's mouth with a 'pop' and rubbed them against his
entrance.
he pushed both fingers in, and the sudden intrusion made jimin hiss, blinking
away the burning pain. that wasn't as smooth as he thought it would be. the
pain was unbearable; he felt he was being torn in two by something so small as
fingers.
"minie, you're a virgin?" yoongi asked in a tone jimin couldn't really
decipher. relief? surprise? confusion? jimin lowered his head in shame, wincing
when fingers dug deeper. he was a little taken aback at how rough he was being.
wasn't this supposed to go a little more slowly? he kissed jimin lightly as he
pulled his fingers out, wiggling out of his boxers. "don't worry," yoongi
spoke, peering up at jimin from behind dark lashes. "i'll make you feel better
later."
later?
"yoongi, i don't know... i don't know what i'm doing and—. shit!" he cried out,
tears immediately springing out from his eyes as he pushed into him, the spit
providing really shitty, almost nonexistent lubrication. jimin hid his face in
the crevice of yoongi's neck again, hands holding onto yoongi's hips for dear
life.
"jiminie? can you move now?" he breathed out after a few seconds. jimin could
feel him stretching him out, rocking his hips in slow, careful circles. soon
enough, the sharp pain in his lower back reduced to a tolerable level, and
jimin sighed in relief.
"okay, i'm trying," jimin sighed out, riding his hips back as yoongi slid in
slow and deep.
"yeah, just like that, baby." he guided jimin's hips and then pushed them back
down, sending shivers down his spine. his entire body seemed to be quivering;
yoongi nipped at his ear as a calloused hand ran up his back and tugged at the
hair at the nape of his neck. a strangled groan broke out from jimin's lips as
yoongi rammed up and hit his prostate. their sweat mingled together, the hint
of honey that always seemed to derive from yoongi being the only thing keeping
jimin semi-sane.
jimin had never noticed how perfect the slope of yoongi's nose was, or how nice
his eyes were when staring up at him, his hair sticking to his damp forehead as
it fell down on his eyelashes like a curtain. his tattoos felt silky against
his fingertips— he scratched at them, angry pink trails on the pale map of
yoongi's body.
everything about yoongi made jimin weak. his scent, his skin, his eyes, his
voice, his stupidly shitty personality. he couldn't get enough of him no matter
what yoongi did to him. jimin briefly wondered if he was some sort of
masochist, but it all just felt right. even the tight feeling in his chest and
the weight in his belly that made it hard to breathe, that seemed to appear
whenever yoongi was around him.
"hyung," jimin purred against yoongi's neck, leaving his own trail of marks and
bites as he felt more than heard yoongi's breaths stutter.
yoongi's voice passed the low gasps and careful breaths he had been taking,
moaning lowly as his hips stuttered slightly. he pulled jimin away from his
clavicle and let his eyes roam the younger boy's flushed, sweaty face as he
felt his orgasm nearing. jimin then faltered his movements, letting out an
indiscernible cross between a plea and a whimper as he began nearing his own
climax.
the usual tight feeling in his abdomen worsened tenfold as he felt his legs
quake uncontrollably, eyes scrunching shut as he bit his lip to stop any noise.
yoongi reached up to his lips, parting them and cupping his face as his own
breathing grew laboured. "no. don't hold back."
and the husky words that had been moaned out from yoongi's lips were the thing
that set him off, entire body shaking as a loud groan escaped him. his toes
curled, hands clenching yoongi's sides painfully as he released. yoongi jutted
his hips aggressive upwards, making jimin see stars as yoongi reached his own
peak, low, stuttering moans echoing in the room as he emptied himself in jimin.
they stared at each other, eyes barely focusing, still not quite coming down
from the high.
yoongi pulled out and jimin felt warmth trickling down his thighs. he'd have to
change the sheets later. they lied there for a while, jimin counting how long
it took for yoongi's breaths to steady (four minutes) as the older rubbed his
hand up and down on jimin's back. jimin closed his eyes for what he felt were
seconds, but then yoongi's shifting woke him up. "baby, roll over, please."
jimin let out a hum of affirmation, rolling off him and onto his side. yoongi
grabbed his boxers off the floor and walked out.
a few seconds later, the sound of their shower was heard, along with gwar's
'zombies, march!' and jimin was now wide awake, a herd of thoughts suddenly
stampeding in his head.
was he good enough? did yoongi like it? would he stop talking to him now? was
he attractive enough? they just had sex, for shit's sake! he had just lost his
virginity— and to his freaking step-brother! he momentarily regretted agreeing
to his hormonal bullshit, but he liked it. he was just as guilty.
yoongi walked in a few minutes later, damp towel in hand, holding it out to
jimin. "hey, i have to go," he mumbled as jimin took the towel. he picked up
his shirt and his jeans, which looked exactly like what he was wearing just
now. jimin looked at his face. it was set, emotionless and stern, although he
could detect guilt swimming in his brown orbs. "namjoon and hoseok... they
invited me to chill with them, so..."
"oh." was all jimin said, shutting his eyes tightly as yoongi sat on the bed
next to him, rubbing his head soothingly. after a few minutes of jimin refusing
to look at him, yoongi sighed, leaning down to plant a kiss on his forehead
before whispering a goodbye and walking out the door.
jimin didn't expect it to hurt this much. he thought he'd change his mind. he
thought he'd stay. but no, he walked out, and the pain radiated in his chest,
stabbing at his diaphragm and making it hard to breathe as he began to cry.
just then the house phone stationed on his nightstand rang, and he reached for
the ancient thing with a wince as he felt a bit of pain on his lower back. he
saw the caller id and let out a shaky sigh as he answered. "jungkook," he said
lowly, voice almost disappearing. "not now."
"it's important. jin and i are over at taehyung's house and you need to come
over quickly. taehyung says we need to talk."
"really, honestly, right now is not the time—."
"you sound like shit, jimin. you need to leave your place. come here or we'll
yank you out of there."
jimin rubbed at his eyes, nodding in defeat. "fine."
he hung up.
he stood up, but held on to the headboard with a pained yell as his lower back
once again burned with immense intensity. he sauntered to his closet for a new
pair of clothes and a towel but staggered at the sight in the mirror. red,
purple, and even fading yellow-green marks peppered his chest, shoulders and
neck, small bruises on his hips and on the wrist yoongi had been yanking. his
lips were red and swollen, his eyes bloodshot and puffy from his crying, his
hair a disheveled mess.
who was that thing in the mirror?
and most importantly, how was he going to explain this to his friends?
***** fuck you, yoongi *****
Chapter Summary
     his friends really want to help jimin, by there’s only two problems:
     jimin doesn’t open up as easily as they expected and the three boys
     don’t know exactly at what angle to handle this situation.

when jimin set foot on the doorstep, the front door was pulled open and three
pairs of eyes greeted him. at first they appeared curious, but concern quickly
took over them.
"jimin!" jin practically yelled as he pulled the shorter in, "its been almost
two hours! we were on our way to get you!" when the door closed behind them,
jin spun jimin around and the three friends surveyed jimin's state in silence.
"jimin... i think... a good talk is in order?" taehyung finally inquired,
frowning. at the sight of jimin's lip quivering, jungkook bit his own lower lip
down. jin frantically led him to the couch and sat him down gingerly. "jimin,"
taehyung tried, "what exactly happened this time you've been gone?" the way the
words left his best friend's lips made jimin shrug away from him, sinking
deeper into the sofa.
"what do you think?" he answered bitterly, trying to swallow the lump in his
throat.
"w-well... jimin... tae and i saw you and yoongi... on the roof of the
warehouse. i'm sorry." at jungkook's words, jimin felt tears threaten his eyes.
"oh, god. i'm sorry. i don't even know what to say. i don't..." jin's firm
voice interrupted jungkook's apologies.
"honey, why don't you just tell us what's been happening? from the beginning?"
that was the last thing jimin wanted to talk about, to think about, even, but
he took in a deep, shaky breath. he started from the way eye contact made him
feel, and then went to yoongi's strange, more noticeable than usual animosity
since after that last party two years back, and then talked about what happened
at hoseok's party. he filled them in on everything: the vodka bottle, what
yoongi smelled like, the thrill he felt. he told them about the constant hot
and cold shifts, the anger, the complete disregard, the hostility, the invasion
of personal space, the dirty whispers, the shared laughter.
finally, he told them all about the warehouse party, and what had happened just
a few hours before.
jungkook wiped at his eyes, nose scarlet, as jin shifted uncomfortably and
taehyung clenched his jaw in anger. "so, while he's out with hoseok and joon,
here i am. uhm, guys... this silence isn't helping. please say something,"
jimin pleaded, looking at the trio gathered around him. "w-what's wrong...?" he
trailed off as jin hung his head and took a deep breath.
"jimin, the reason i'm at taehyung's house is because namjoon and i were
playing sonic riders. he's still upstairs in his room. he fell asleep." jin
regretted his words when he saw jimin's lower lip pucker. "jimin—."
"i-i'm sure namjoon just forgot? maybe decided to cancel to be with you? yoongi
wouldn't..."
but jimin thought of hoseok's lingering touches, of the times yoongi would ask
permission to go out with friends and not come until the next morning, of all
their interactions he had witnessed in school.
"my brother and yoongi are very close, jimin. joon wouldn't dare cancel on him
unless it were an emergency. even if he wanted to hang out with jin, he would
have just dragged him along."
taehyung didn't continue when he saw the steady river of tears falling from his
best friend's eyes. jungkook was no longer crying, so that was a relief, but
what could he possibly say or do for jimin to calm down? jimin changed his
position on the couch, lying down in foetal position with his back facing them.
quiet, squeaky hiccups interrupted his silent tears and the three friends stood
quietly behind him, not knowing what to say or do.
soon, his tears lulled him to sleep and he woke up hours later, hungry, sore,
and with a terrible headache. the smell of something warm and sweet pulled him
to the kitchen as he surveyed the empty house. where were taehyung and
jungkook? jin most probably left for work or class, jimin wasn't too sure on
his schedule. he grabbed a muffin just as namjoon entered the kitchen as well.
"hey, joon."
namjoon winced internally at jimin's weak greeting but grabbed a muffin for
himself and ruffled his hair. "hey, kiddo. uh... maybe this is the last thing
you wanna hear... but seokjin told me about what a little dickhead yoongi's
been. i'm sorry. look, he's my best friend and i love him to death, but what
he's doing is stupid as fuck. you need to know you don't have to go along with
it, okay? yoongi's not actually like this.... i-i'm not trying to defend him—."
jimin let out a sigh as he took a bite of the fresh muffin, looking down at it
as if he had never seen one in the flesh. "it's fine. where's your brother?"
"he and my mum went to fetch something to the store. my mum just noticed we're
low on toilet paper and toothpaste, so..."
jimin bit his lip after setting the barely bitten muffin on the counter. "well,
tell him i went home. i'll catch you later, joon."
"why don't you stay, kid? i mean, do you really want to go back there?"
jimin's heart stuttered at the thought of having to face yoongi, but he took a
deep breath and shook his head, telling namjoon he had a couple of school
things to finish and that it would be best for him to just go home.
the fifteen minute walk turned into thirty as he tried to sober himself up with
the crisp october breeze. what would he do or say when he saw his mum? mr min?
yoongi? how would he cope with being around yoongi like this? he made it home
and climbed up the stairs as fast as his sore body would allow him and closed
the door of his room, locking it just in case. music was playing at the highest
volume imaginable from the room next to his as he yanked the sheets off his bed
and stuffed them in the soiled linen hamper. he took off his thermal, opting
for a turtleneck, and grabbed some makeup from his drawer, concealing the bags
under his eyes and the love bites that couldn't be hidden with clothes. it
didn't work well, but it would have to do. he felt the rumble of the garage
door opening and closing and took his charging phone from the nightstand,
seeing it was almost eleven. he looked at his bare bed before trudging down the
stairs.
"jimin! i thought you had switched up to live with the kims!" his mum teased,
bright smile so bitterly like his own used to be. jimin didn't think he'd smile
like that again.
"no, i don't want to intrude. i stay too much," jimin tried to say
lightheartedly. his mum nodded in agreement, proceeding to unpacking the boxes
of fast food she was carrying as mr min walked in from the door leading to the
garage. "hey, mr min— i mean, dad. sorry."
mr min looked at his step-son with concern, brows furrowing in that infuriating
father way. "you okay there, kid? you don't look too well."
"partying does that. i've learnt my lesson. i'm not gonna go three hours into
nothingness for a party ever again." he sighed and looked at his mum. "well,
i'll be upstairs. i have homework to finish."
"honey, you should eat something first."
jimin tried his best to give his mum a reassuring smile. "maybe later. i'm not
so hungry right now."
he escaped to his room and locked the door once again, resuming his task to
change his bedding. truth be told, jimin didn't even want to sleep on that bed
anymore. when he finished making his bed, he sat down on the floor next to it,
after turning off his lamp and switching his christmas lights on. the dimly lit
room served as a ways to relax, even if just a tad. the music next door
decreased in volume and the door opened and closed. jimin felt more than heard
the footsteps leading to the bathroom and he heaved a sigh.
he should have never let it go this far. he should have never gone to hoseok's
party, he should have never walked into yoongi's room uninvited, he should have
never gotten drunk at those two parties and confessed his huge ass crush on
that emo bastard. he should have not turned into a problematic child and helped
his mum more after his father's death.
this had to be karma.
lost in his regrets, he didn't hear when the same footsteps approached his door
until he heard a faint knock.
"jiminie? hey, i know it's almost midnight, but you gotta eat something. your
friends told me you didn't have dinner." after getting no response, yoongi
wiggled the handle and groaned. "jimin, please... i miss that dumb, cute face
of yours." jimin could picture him pouting, soft peachy lips puckered to
perfection, and he felt bile rise up to the back of his throat. "okay, fine.
i'll be in my room. the door'll be unlocked if you want to... just... good
night." with one last try at the doorknob, yoongi sighed and shuffled back into
his room, closing his door firmly.
go to his room? is he serious? wanting to see jimin's face?
jimin felt a giggle of disbelief bubble from between his dry lips .
fuck you, yoongi.
***** remorse *****
Chapter Summary
     while jimin tries his best to hide the marks from nights before,
     yoongi wears them proudly and it bothers jimin; yoongi’s teasing
     leads to confrontation.
seven days before his birthday and jimin was absolutely dreading it.
it landed on a friday, too. what good could come from that?
the hickeys and bites were less angry now, but he was running out of
turtlenecks to wear, and he had woken up too late to cover them with makeup, so
he wore the thickest scarf he could find. it proved to be a mistake since today
had been a relatively warm day for october. jimin was stubborn, however, and
didn't want people questioning him, either, so he kept to the scarf.
dance practice had turned into a nightmare for him. dancing in turtlenecks was
stuffy and uncomfortable, but today he didn't dance at all. how could he dance
with the scarf on? so he just went to his locker, packed and unpacked some
books and folders, and made his way— slowly— back home.
what bothered him the most was that yoongi walked around with the hickies on
his neck like some sort of fucking medal of honour when he went through extreme
lengths to cover them. but what was especially infuriating was that everyone
assumed yoongi got the love bites from either one of the girls in his
literature class, or hoseok.
speaking of hoseok, the bouncy ray of sunshine had invited him to another
party.
jimin had unhesitatingly declined.
when he made it home, he was startled to find his step-dad wearing extremely
casual clothes, helping his mum fix dinner.
"dad? you're here earlier than me?" jimin asked, raising a brow as he looked at
his get up: flannel pants and a faded blue bruins hoodie. the man grinned at
him, waving a knife around as he replied.
"kind of never left." giving a fake cough, he frowned. "i seem to be very ill.
the only remedy is spending some time at home with my family." jimin felt his
lips twitch up to a grin at the man's antics and he briefly wondered how this
man, stern and cold, yet soft and kind, could possibly be biologically related
to yoongi.
"well," jimin tried, feeling his spirits lift a little, "i'm glad i skipped
dance practice. family first."
at that, jimin's mum turned around from the stove and frowned. "honey, why
would you skip dance practice? don't you guys have that crazy winter showcase
coming? you need all the time you can get."
"w-we're not doing anything too complicated— oof!" the air was knocked out of
him as a body crashed against his, only divided by jimin's almost empty
backpack.
"jimin! you're here early! hey, are you any good at physics or math in general?
i'm supposed to be doing partner work but my partner flaked on me." cuddled
against him and with his chin tucked into jimin's scarf, yoongi smelled
strongly of honey, with an unnervingly different scent of vanilla. jimin wasn't
sure if he liked the change. to be honest, it sat wrong with him.
"i took physics last year, maybe i have some works lying around. do you have
pearson?" he replied, but yoongi spun him around. their eyes met and jimin
prayed neither of them would do something stupid. their parents were right
behind them.
"jiminie, why are you wearing a scarf? it wasn't too cold for you today, was
it?" the mock concern lacing his voice and the deep gaze he was forcing onto
jimin contrasted with the sweetness and worry of his tone.
"i, i just didn't know what to pair this shirt with. i was running late."
"well, we're home now—." he cut off after jimin gave him a stern glare.
"okay... so... i'm guessing you're willing to help with physics? yes?" jimin
was about to reply that he was only gonna show him his old works when yoongi
yanked him away from the kitchen. "mum, we'll be upstairs!"
"i'll call you down in a few minutes, though. dinner is almost ready."
jimin and yoongi shared a look of confusion. it was barely nearing five. since
when was dinner ever ready this early? they made up the stairs at a slow pace
but the moment they entered yoongi's room, yoongi closed the door, locking it
before turning on his music. he then removed jimin's backpack, tossing it
elsewhere before pinning him to the door.
"jiminie," yoongi began, separating jimin's knees with his own. "as cute as you
look buried in that oversized scarf, you're gonna have a heat stroke... do you
live to worry me?"
jimin immediately felt comfortable in yoongi's proximity, but he couldn't shake
off the image of what he had seen earlier: yoongi glaring up at hoseok as he
pressed him against the lockers, almost in this exact same position. they had
been a little too close for jimin's liking, and jimin thought they would have
probably gotten closer if it weren't for taehyung calling out his name.
"to worry you, yeah right."
the words bitterly stumbled out from between his lips and he instantly
regretted them, wincing. yoongi frowned. "you have been acting off lately. mind
telling me what the fuck—."
"i'll tell you what's wrong. how can you fuck me and then fucking leave with
your friend? how could you do that to me when i helped you the night before?
and do you have any idea how worried about you i was? and how hurt i was when
you talked to my mum like that?"
yoongi snorted. "you're the one who left first thing when you woke up! i wanted
to eat with you, talk to you! apologise and thank you! but you decided your
friends and that stupid, tall-ass bastard were more important than me! when i
get there, what do i see? my boyfriend almost kissing some dude he just met!
how do you think that made me feel?"
"what about today, huh? you had hoseok pinned against the wall just like this!
what am i supposed to make of that?"
"i was about to beat the shit out of him!"
"and why the fuck would you ever do that?" jimin wailed.
"because he was talking shit about you!" they stared at each other after that
outburst and jimin felt himself sag against the door as yoongi's grip on him
relaxed. "hoseok and i  may be friends, but you're my boyfriend, jimin. you're
my top priority. and what have you been doing these past few days? avoiding me
like the plague, that's what. you've been skipping dinner... just to not see
me, right? look how thin you've gotten..." he pressed his forehead against
jimin's and that weird vanilla smell felt closer.
"the-the day we... why did you lie about going with joon and hoseok if you only
hung out with—."
"don't remind me," yoongi said with a groan. "dumbass namjoon had his phone on
silent. turns out he was playing a video game the entire time. the hangout was
awkward... we kind of... fought and i just went back home. you were gone again,
but i already felt bad for having left you after we had sex and i decided, 'do
i really have the right to go hunt him down?'"
yoongi's lips were what smelt like vanilla, jimin realised as they pressed
against the apple of his cheek softly. another kiss was pressed on his
forehead, and soon, yoongi was attacking his face with small pecks. jimin felt
himself lighten up as he giggled, melting and giving in to him once again.
"baby, promise me you won't skip meals anymore," yoongi pleaded between kisses.
jimin nodded and yoongi pressed a small but lingering kiss between his eyes,
peeling him away from against the door in order to embrace him.
yoongi felt a wave of something as jimin lifted a hand up and brushed some hair
away before planting a kiss of his own on yoongi's pale forehead.
this boy was perfection.
this boy deserved way more.
and yoongi knew from the bottom of his heart that jimin most definitely did not
need the mess that was yoongi min.
***** enjoy it while it lasts *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin could always count on seokjin for advice, solace, and even a
     good joke or two. however, this phone call isn’t exactly what he
     expects.
Chapter Notes
     i posted this chapter but it posted wrong? so henlo again
yoongi was surprised when jimin pressed his soft lips against his.
well, surprised was an understatement. he felt heat rush to his cheeks as
butterflies swarmed in his stomach. but then, jimin pulled away much too
quickly, and frowned. "okay, yoongi? i can't stand it." the irritation in his
tone seeped into its usually soft cadence as he grimaced. yoongi was taken
aback by the younger, placing his hands on small shoulders and pushing him back
to get a better look at him.
"stand what?" he replied, and his words may have come out harsher than he
intended them to because jimin looked down. he decided to soften the question,
trying again. "baby, what's wrong?" at that, jimin looked up at him with
flaming cheeks.
"you smell different. i can't stand it. it's-it's dumb, but i don't like it.
it's coming from your lips. is it new lip balm? candy? it's bothering the crap
out of me." jimin gazed as yoongi's expression changed to that of surprise, but
then softened into the brightest smile he's ever seen on him.
"you noticed?" jimin couldn't help but smile at the barely hidden excitement in
yoongi's words. "i ran out of my usual lip balm so i just got this random one
but it's vanilla scented. i've been wearing it for a couple days now. but,
seeing as you've been avoiding me, how would you have noticed? but, how did you
know? how did you tell?" yoongi had never talked so much in one breath before
and jimin's eyes widened, blinking as he tried to take it all in. but before he
could, yoongi chuckled and wiped at his mouth before pressing their lips
together again. "you're going to melt me, park."
jimin thought it was the other way around as the kiss deepened and yoongi
pushed him to the bed, smoothly straddling him while simultaneously yanking the
scarf off. he was already hyperventilating, yoongi's hands expertly pushing his
jeans down. "hyung? now? i thought we were doing homew—." he was cut off by his
own moan as yoongi's cold hand snuck into his boxers. "hyung—." they both froze
as the song changed, looking up at each other as the lyrics started.
"how can you see into my eyes like open doors?"
groaning, jimin covered his flushed face. "really, yoongi? evanescence?"
 
yoongi cleared his throat. “sorry. let me change the song—.”
 
jimin lowered his hands to see yoongi unlocking his phone and jimin snatched
it, browsing through his music. it was opened to the playlist menu and he read
the titles of the many lists, trying to get a feel of each playlist. one was
labelled "creativity flow", which jimin now knew yoongi used for art projects.
there was another one called "hip-hop throwbacks", one called "summer roadtrip
deluxe" and another called "songs i heard in spanish class". jimin felt half
tempted to click on that one, but his eyes caught another title.
jiminie
***** enjoy it while it lasts (pt2) *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin could always come to seokjin for advice, solace, and even a
     good joke or two. however, this phone call wasn’t what jimin
     expected.
Chapter Notes
     technical difficulties part two /:
the playlist was named “jiminie”.
seeing jimin's face shift and the crimson invade his features, yoongi took the
phone away immediately. "okay, baby, time to give it back."
jimin sat up and tried to take it back, pouting. "but it's a playlist with my
name!"
"baby, you weren't supposed to see that yet!"
yoongi stood up and set the phone on his desk before making his way back to
jimin, his face still flushed, jeans down to his knees. "hyung, why can't i see
it?"
all yoongi did was straddle him again, bending down to kiss his neck softly.
the small sigh escaping jimin's lips drew him to full, pink lips and they
shared a rare intimate moment lacking any urgency. but, after a few minutes of
slow, languid kisses, jimin bit down on yoongi's lower lip, causing the older's
breathing to stutter. "baby, give me a warning."
"that was your warning. i want more." jimin revelled in the way yoongi's eyes
stormed as he nodded, capturing jimin in a heated, open-mouthed kiss.
"your wish—." yoongi didn't get to finish because jimin grabbed at his hips
just then, arching his own back in order to get some friction. as the younger
tried his best to get some sort of relief, yoongi lifted jimin's shirt up to
his neck. he felt a bit of relief, seeing his chest and neck and knowing he had
been the one to mark him, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty.
"jimin—. shit," yoongi gasped out as jimin's tiny hand slid into his sweatpants
and stroked his length. any remorse he had been feeling vanished as jimin's
words made it to his ears.
"i want to ride you."
there it was again, that weirdly deep shift in jimin's tone that made his voice
sound somewhat husky. how could he affect yoongi so much just with his voice?
he briefly wondered, did jimin ever feel the same? did jimin also get
overwhelmed like this? well, yoongi knew. jimin was an open book. but he wanted
to know exactly what about him made jimin flustered.
for yoongi, one of his biggest turn ons was definitely jimin's voice.
"you're so cute, baby boy," yoongi heard himself croon as he slid down and
pressed a kiss on jimin's belly. "i want to hear more of your cute voice."
and he did, when he pulled his boxers down all the way and stroked his already
hard member.
"hyung, shit..." jimin's tone drifted off into a needy mewl and he covered his
face in embarrassment, biting his lip to keep quiet as yoongi began to pump.
"yoon... oh, my god," he squeaked, biting his wrist after. yoongi looked up and
stopped his ministrations, pulling jimin's hands away from his face while
shaking his head. "yoongi, don't stop, please," jimin pleaded, "i need more."
and jimin's eyes widened as he threw his head back, almost choking from
whiplash as yoongi's tongue swirled on his tip.
"oh, god... hyung!" jimin's hands darted to yoongi's head and he tugged at his
hair as his knees buckled. yoongi groaned, lowering himself and taking jimin's
entire length. at this point, jimin's small moans had turned into desperate
groans and half-yells, head reeling and breathing turning laboured. his tongue
was magic, and yoongi's little growls sent vibrations up his spine. jimin was
at the point of no return as he bucked his hips upward, earning a glare from
yoongi. the older didn't stop, though. rather, he lightly grazed his teeth near
the tip, cueing a whimper from the younger.
as yoongi expertly continued, jimin felt the familiar knotting in his belly and
his legs began to tremble. "yoongi... stop... i need to.... oh, god!" but
yoongi only kept going, pressing his lips down more firmly around him and
quickening his movements. "yoongi, please, i'm gonna—." but jimin didn't get to
finish his sentence as he released, scratching at yoongi's clothed shoulders as
he came in the older's mouth. jimin watched in horror and embarrassment as
yoongi swallowed, pink tongue darting across his lips. jimin couldn't catch his
breath quite yet, though, so he didn't say anything.
the haziness in his mind wasn't going to let him, anyway.
yoongi was lost in a daze, as well, recovering from the high of feeling jimin's
nails claw at him, hearing his name moaned so passionately, seeing the younger
boy's reaction. he had just bent down to plant a kiss on jimin's inner thigh
when he heard his dad's voice calling over the sound of my chemical romance.
"boys! dinner time!"
"coming!" yoongi called out automatically, sighing after. "i didn't even get to
do you," he mumbled, looking back up at jimin. "we didn't get anything done, we
didn't even get a quick cuddle sesh in."
jimin felt himself smile, still short of breath. "you want to cuddle with me?"
"of course i do. especially since i haven't held you for such a long time,"
yoongi protested, throwing himself on the bed next to jimin and bringing him
closer to him. "don't do that again."
"boys!"
"coming!" yoongi yelled again, frowning.
"i'm gonna go to my room and change. i'll meet you downstairs."
yoongi nodded at jimin's words, watching him lazily as he redressed himself and
picked up the scarf from the floor before scurrying out. he grinned when he
noticed he left his backpack there.
in his room, jimin opened his makeup drawer and got to work on hiding the
hickies, grimacing when he saw a missed call from jin.
he returned it, and the older boy answered immediately. "is your phone on
speaker? i hear yoongi's music too clearly." jimin giggled and jin faltered at
his next words, scowling. "i know that laugh. it's a giddy laugh. it's an 'i
just got my dick sucked by a 10' laugh. tell me you didn't actually get your
dick sucked by that asshole."
"w-well..." jimin stopped when he heard jin's exaggerated sigh. "i mean, he
said he's been worried about me, and that he missed me. and—and he also said—."
"hey, you know high school romances don't last, right? especially when the
other party is almost graduating."
"jin—."
"and let's not forget all the shit that you cried over. and the fact that this
fucker lives under the same roof as you."
"seokjin, let me—."
"i hope to god you get over this whim of yours, jimin. it's not healthy for
you. actually, listen. i don't even think you like him anymore. school crushes
don't last this long. you're just excited because it's proscriptive, thrilling,
dangerous. well, let me tell you what, sweetheart. you think all is well
because he showered you with affection and kisses and sweet words. you think
you're doing great, and everything is as sweet and exciting, and everything
you've dreamed and fantasised about. but, mark my words, jimin. one of these
days, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks, you'll be in too fucking deep. one
of these days, you'll realise how deep you've dove in and realise this is no
longer what you want. one of these days, you'll get caught up in the thrill and
won't be able to find your way out."
"can you just trust me—." jimin interrupted, but jin scoffed.
"and ultimately, who's gonna be there for you when you're crying your heart out
and feeling like shit? the very people whose warnings you ignored. good
evening, jimin. enjoy it while it lasts."
***** high and dry *****
Chapter Summary
     coffee, wool coats, onesies and jealousy.
Chapter Notes
     leave music recs in the comments i’m trying to listen to new artists
     and if you haven’t already, you should check out EDEN
     i’ve snuck in his lyrics twice :^)
and things were, once again, strained between them.
jimin was just tired of seeing hoseok near yoongi, or at all. he was tired of
the hypocrisy. ever since last friday, jimin had been hyper aware of everything
hoseok said to jimin, the way he said it. jimin had thought back to the
conversation he had had with yoongi and decided to throw it up back at him:
jimin was his boyfriend. why wasn't yoongi doing anything to let hoseok know he
had to stop?
and yoongi himself was infuriating. he hadn't been talking to him much— again.
in fact, it was almost like nothing happened the day jimin wore a scarf to
school. and whenever jimin tried starting a conversation with him, yoongi would
drift off to different topics or disregard him instead. sometimes, though, very
rarely, he'd try to initiate conversation with jimin, or jumped in for a somber
hug, or teased him under the table during dinner time.
in front of their parents.
being upset at all this happening (and the things not happening), ever since
the day after him and yoongi had sex, jimin and chanyeol had been texting and
hanging out steadily. there was nothing holding him back from hanging with him,
since yoongi's car was a total loss and he no longer was forced to go home with
him.
taehyung slid into the dance studio with a small smile, plopping down between
jungkook and jimin. "how was practice?" he asked as he opened his satchel.
extracting two juice pouches, he handed one to jimin and jungkook. "you guys
look like you need it."
jimin absentmindedly took it with a sound between a hum and a thank you,
texting with his other hand.
me: i just got out of practice why??
channy: i was thinking we could catch up (: it's been a while
me: chanyeol it's been two days
channy: whatever you baby :p i'm omw
me: i didn't even say yes!!
channy: omw
taehyung peeked at jimin's phone, curious as to why he wasn't paying attention
to him and jungkook, and the messages he read made him choke. "jimin!" he
gasped, "are you dating chanyeol?"
jimin peered up from his phone and blinked slowly. "excuse me? why would you
jump to that conclusion?"
taehyung pointed at the word, stabbing the screen twice. "there! he called you
baby!"
jungkook poked his head into the conversation, eyes wide. "wait who called you
baby?" taehyung turned to look at him and grinned. "oh, chanyeol. the tall one.
of course they're dating, it was only a matter of time."
jimin groaned. "you cannot be serious. there's nothing going on." he rolled out
another text to chanyeol, and the other boy replied just as quickly.
me: my best friend read our messages over my shoulder and now thinks we're
dating lol
channy: well aren't we? ;) ;)
"oh, my god! you are dating him!"
"i am not!" jimin hissed defensively. "fuck off, honestly. he's just a friend."
"i dunno, jimin," the youngest of the three added, "there's some stuff that
makes me question it. are you really just friends?"
jimin thought bitterly in his head, 'what about you and taehyung? exactly what
are you?' but decided against voicing it, replying to chanyeol.
me: |:
channy: okay i'm kidding and i'm also outside.
jimin stood up, handing the juice pouch back to taehyung with an apologetic
smile. "sorry, but i gotta go. chanyeol's outside."
taehyung sighed, frowning. "yoongi can get upset if he finds out exactly how
friendly you and chanyeol are."
"chanyeol and i are just friends. yoongi can suck my dick."
jungkook giggled as taehyung smirked. "that's a... quite literal statement,
there, buddy. perhaps an invitation?"
"a confirmation," jungkook added with a snicker. jimin rolled his eyes and bent
down to knock the juice pouch away from his best friend.
"i hate you two," he huffed, turning away to make his way toward the entrance.
when he made it there, chanyeol was looking at his keys with fascination,
looking down and away from the crowd of kids coming out of the campus.
"chanyeol!" jimin called, grinning as he jogged the tiny distance, stumbling in
the process.
"so nice to see you again!" chanyeol replied, bringing him in for a hug. jimin
breathed in the scent of coffee and cologne coming from him and relaxed into
the embrace, sighing a little. jimin couldn't understand why hugging chanyeol
was so warm and reassuring, but he liked it, and he wasn't about to complain.
someone did for him, anyway.
or rather, he heard someone clear his throat behind them and he peeled away,
uncomfortably realising the embrace perhaps lasted longer than what's
considered normal. he turned around and he met with yoongi, hoseok's arm around
him while his other held their bags.
"jimin, good that i ran into you. let's go home; hoseok is gonna give us a
ride."
jimin turned away from yoongi to look at hoseok's heart shaped smile and then
shook his head, turning back to the older. "i have plans. chanyeol will take me
home."
yoongi huffed. "jimin, i'm sure mum—."
"i'm sure mum would appreciate if you stopped speaking for her. i'll see you
later."
jimin took hold of chanyeol's hand and stalked away from the other two, a
little irritated to say the least. chanyeol looked down at him questioningly,
biting his lip before asking. "h-hey, jimin... you've stopped wearing
turtlenecks but... listen are those really mosquito bites?"
if it weren't for the fact jimin had forgotten to let go of his hand, chanyeol
wouldn't have caught him on time when jimin tripped and almost fell. the
younger looked up, blinking rapidly as he let the warm hand go. "h-how... why
would you say that?"
"well, it's just been a while... and i think they've actually multiplied!"
jimin adjusted the collar of his shirt and looked down. "i... i don't...
well—."
"we don't have to talk about it. i understand."
once they made it to chanyeol's car, the drive was quiet and strained. and once
they made it to a cafe almost out of town, they grew even more uncomfortable as
they found seokjin and namjoon in what seemed to be the middle of a row.
"...take responsibility for you stupid ass actions!" jin exclaimed, shoving
namjoon's hands away from him.
"jin jin, i'm telling you! it's all—."
"fuck off, seriously! i'm tired of your lies! of all these broken promises!"
seokjin caught something moving from his periphery and turned around,
immediately freezing. he looked like he wanted to say something, apologise for
the commotion most probably, but jimin waved at both a shocked seokjin and a
beet-red namjoon and allowed chanyeol to lead him inside.
the cafe was cute... just a little too pink. chanyeol wordlessly led him to a
table and then left to order for the both of them. jimin looked at the tall boy
meanwhile, examining his outfit. he was very much dressed like sherlock, and
the shaggy unruly hair of his reinforced that similarity. he felt himself
lighten up and laugh a little.
and this was why he enjoyed going to places with chanyeol. not only did the
tall, sugar-sweet boy take him to different places each time, jimin just felt
at ease. he didn't feel like he had something hidden from friends or family. he
felt free with chanyeol. it was a breath of fresh air.
but then chanyeol's phone rang with the alarm he had set for work, and both
boys let out a sigh. it was time to go home.
it was time to go back to the drab everyday responsibilities and routines.
jimin smiled up at chanyeol as they walked to the car park. "i like your outfit
today."
chanyeol laughed, grinning at jimin through his blush. "a girl asked me if i
was cosplaying sherlock."
"i was thinking exactly that!"
chanyeol laughed as he closed the passenger seat behind jimin and continued as
he plopped down next to him and started the engine. "of course you were, you
nerd. but be honest: is it that bad? do i look like a bootleg sherlock?"
"better than the real thing," jimin blurted, then both boys blushed. "s-sorry."
"it's... it's okay..." chanyeol cleared his throat. "hey, uh... there's a party
and i was wondering if you wanted to go? it's not gonna get out of control like
the night. it's near campus so we can't get too crazy."
"oh. well, to be honest... i was already invited to this, i think, and i said
no. this is hoseok's cousin's party, right?" chanyeol nodded and jimin
continued. "thought so. i already said no, so it'll look weird—."
"come on, jiminie—."
"don't call me that," jimin defended, but then felt his face heat up. "sorry.
it's just that nickname..."
chanyeol nodded, frowning at the road. he didn't understand anything about
jimin's life and he was morbidly curious about everything having to do with
him. why did he react like that when he said jiminie? chanyeol had it
understood that jimin had a step dad, so could that mean jiminie was the
nickname his father had for him?
they made it to jimin's house and chanyeol hopped out of the car behind the
younger, walking him to the door. jimin unlocked and opened the door, stepping
into the foyer with chanyeol shyly shuffling inside just a little bit. he
fiddled with the backpack straps, looking up at chanyeol. "i had a lot of fun
today. i really needed to relax a little and you helped me heaps. next time is
on me, though! okay?"
chanyeol laughed a little, nodding. "how can i say no to you?"
"who's this? oh, he's tall! and handsome! is he your friend? what's his name?"
jimin looked at his mum, startled by her sudden presence. "mother! you scared
me! i could've died!"
but his mother disregarded him, looking up up up at chanyeol. "what's your
name, honey? oh, you're so tall! are you staying for dinner?"
"a-actually, ma'am, i have to head to work now. thank you and i'm sorry but
maybe next time i'll stay."
"shame shame... okay, dear. drive safe. jimin," she continued, finally turning
to her son. "i need you to do me a favour." with that she walked away and jimin
sighed in relief.
but then he pouted at the older giant. "so, do you really have to leave?"
chanyeol sighed and nodded. "a hug goodbye then?" jimin tried cheerfully.
chanyeol grinned and pulled him in but once again, someone awkwardly cleared
their throat behind them. jimin jumped away immediately, feeling his cheeks
burst into flames. “yoongi—! you scared me, dude!”
“guilty conscience?” he looked away from a stuttering jimin and up at chanyeol,
nodding.
“min,” chanyeol forced out as nicely as he could.
“park,” yoongi grumbled.
“yes?” it was jimin who answered and yoongi switched his gaze back to him. it
was then when jimin noticed what yoongi was wearing and he felt his face deepen
in colour even more. “why are you wearing my halloween onesie?” jimin hissed,
mortified right after he said that. now not only was his boyfriend wearing a
onesie like it was an everyday thing, but now chanyeol knew jimin owned one.
“what can i do? i need to do laundry. mum told me i have to do it myself and i
honestly don’t know how to operate the washers.” he glared at chanyeol before
he swivelled around in all his onesie-clad glory. “think you can come help me
with that? i’ll be upstairs, if you miraculously care.”
jimin looked at his retreating back and sighed lowly before turning his
attention back to chanyeol. “well,” he mumbled, “you should probably go before
my mum sees you’re still here. she’ll make you stay for dinner for sure.”
“i can call and say i had an emergency,” chanyeol tried, eyes briefly wandering
toward the staircase yoongi had climbed. “i wouldn’t mind staying.”
“be serious,” jimin responded with a scoff and a playful shove at his shoulder.
“you need to go work. come on.” jimin gave the giant one last, brief hug before
grinning at him and pushing him out the threshold, closing the door. still
grinning at the way his eyes had widened, jimin made his way to yoongi’s room,
entering without knocking.
if he hadn’t opened the door of the room, he would have never known yoongi had
music on. high and dry by radiohead was playing at an extremely reasonable
volume and it threw jimin off. it didn’t help that yoongi was lying on his head
face down, buried into his pillows, still wearing the orange onesie with the
dancing skeletons. 
“yoongi?”
“go away,” he grumbled, but his words were almost turned into muffles by the
pillows. jimin sat down next to him on the bed and took a deep breath before
trying again.
“yoongi, what’s wrong?”
“why don’t you ask that tall ass bastard?”
jimin snorted. “what did he do to you, anyway?”
yoongi flipped himself so he was facing jimin now, gazing at him from beneath
his lashes. “it’s what he’s doing to you. he’s hugging you, and holding your
hand... i don’t like that. it’s fucking gross of him.”
“it’s not like he’s doing it on purpose to spite you or something. must i
remind you our relationship is supposed to be a secret?”
“if joon, jin, hoseok, tae, and his foetus ass boyfriend know, why can’t
chanyeol?” yoongi demanded. “or is it because you secretly like him more than
me? because he matches you better? you and i contrast too much, but you and
chanyeol like the same things and stuff. is that it? am i inadequate?”
jimin groaned as the song reached the chorus. “if you’re jealous, just say it,
yoongi.”
“don’t leave me high...”
“i’m jealous. so jealous.”
“don’t leave me dry...”
jimin exhaled through his nose and reached to yoongi’s hair, pushing it aside
before bending down and pressing a soft, lingering kiss on the pale boy’s
forehead. the vanilla smell was back, and it made him feel uncomfortable, but
any sense of discomfort melted away when yoongi took jimin’s small hand away
from his hair, twining their pinkies together.
“tomorrow’s your birthday. what do you want? i mean i already got you a gift...
but maybe you want something more. breakfast in bed? a gift card for an art
store?”
jimin shook his head, staring at their interlocked pinkies. “i want you for
myself all weekend. no hoseok, no chanyeol. just... be mine at least just this
weekend. and then i’ll stop being so greedy.”
yoongi looked up at jimin’s soft gaze and felt the tears of regrets pool behind
his slowly closing eyelids.
this boy was a treasure he didn’t rightfully take. 
***** bees are badass *****
Chapter Summary
     yoongi is addled by two things: his feelings for jimin, and humans’
     disregard for the declining bee population.
     (the following three to five chapters will be v e r y s o f t)
Chapter Notes
     i fucking love bees.
     also, anyone in Southern California in the range of the fires/smoke,
     please be safe. wear masks or scarves if heading out. avoid going
     outside if the air quality is shit, and if you must, avoid any
     strenuous activity and keep hydrated.
     also one of the chapters will be called “gaslighting” hHHHhhhmmMMMmmm
     (: (: (: wonder why
the door shut with a soft click behind him.
he had expected having to squint through the darkness, but little twinkling
lights lined the wall behind jimin's bed. they gave off a surprisingly soft
glow, dimly but efficiently allowing yoongi to find his target better. he
stepped on something soft and almost let out a yell until he saw it was the
scarf from a few hours before. if his heart had been beating hard before, it
was beating like crazy now. he didn't exactly know how to react to the
sensation, or why he was even panicking about waking jimin up.
but when he really got a good look at him, he was pretty sure his heart
stopped.
jimin was cuddled into himself, blanket just covering one of his legs for some
reason. his tank top had ridden up in his sleep, and his flannel pants hung
low, no doubt a result of his recent weight loss. his hair was all over the
place, and his chest rose and fell evenly and slowly. yoongi felt himself smile
a little as he gingerly sat down on the bed beside him, the mattress dipping
down with a couple of creaks.
jimin stirred. "yoongi," he grumbled, coiling tighter into himself.
"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to wake you yet, i was going to wait a couple of more
minutes and—." yoongi stopped whispering when jimin's small, warm hand reached
upward to rest on his shoulder.
"i was thinking," jimin mumbled sleepily, his words barely above a slur. "what
can you possibly like about me?" his gentle touch became more solid as he slid
his fingers down from yoongi's shoulder, the length of his arm, and finally,
the tips of long, cold fingers. "i can go on and on about what i like about
you. but what do you see in me?"
"jiminie, isn't it a little too early to be having serious conversations?"
"no better time than..."
jimin drifted off and yoongi rolled his eyes, checking the time on jimin's
phone display. "six forty-nine, baby."
"yeah, six forty-nine."
jimin finally opened his eyes all the way, dark irises reflecting the twinkling
lights. yoongi lost himself in those orbs for a few seconds before he sighed,
scooting even closer to jimin without squishing him against the wall. "i wanted
to be the first one to say happy birthday. i came to see the sunrise with you."
"that doesn't answer my question," jimin replied, fingers still grazing the
other's. yoongi smiled. it felt like he did that much more often lately. jimin
agreed, sobering up when he saw yoongi's softly lit grin. that smile of his was
breathtaking.
"i'll show you why tomorrow. remember, this weekend is ours and ours only. be
patient until then. i don't... i don't talk too much. being so verbose isn't my
thing... but if you want me to, i can go on forever, too."
jimin had been fearing the worst for a while. had been lost in a flurry of
emotions. to hear yoongi say that was such a relief.
yoongi, though, felt his heart hammer against his sternum, losing himself once
again in jimin's gaze and in the way he just... moved. when he breathed, or
blinked, or shifted to see him better. he wasn't so sure what he was feeling.
it was a mixture of attraction, guilt, and regrets, and something heavy that
pulled him closer and closer and closer until he was lying on jimin's bed as
well, cold fingers splayed on the younger's exposed waist, lips mere
millimetres away from each other. "god, just look at you," yoongi breathed,
"how do they expect me to stay away from you?"
jimin felt his cheeks redden beneath yoongi's intimate gaze. "who?"
"jin, joon, and hoseok. jin and joon have always been my voices of reason,
especially namjoon since jin and i stopped talking... but i really can't stay
away from you now. it's too late."
jimin scoffed. "you're not serious."
yoongi removed his now warm hand from jimin's waist and grabbed the younger's
chin, tilting his head so he could plant a kiss on a soft, rosey cheek instead.
"baby, trust me. god knows i wish i weren't. i'm not sure what to do, to be
honest. my feelings have been all over the place lately. but your smile keeps
me centred." another kiss on the cheek, this time lingering as he murmured,
"you're so god damned amazing," against velvet-soft skin. "i'm sorry about all
of this. the things i've done in the past, now, and the things i may do in the
future."
jimin pushed him away a little, frowning. "yoongi, that sounds like a goodbye.
you're scaring me."
yoongi scooped him into his arms, shaking his head. "no no no, not a goodbye.
i'm just saying... sorry. i know it doesn't cut it, but—." yoongi's phone
vibrated in the pocket of his sweatpants and he sighed. "sunrise is coming.
let's go by the window." jimin smirked at him with a playful glint in his eyes.
“you set an alarm.”
“listen, brat, your first sunrise as a seventeen-year-old should be enjoyed
thoroughly. i woke up at this ungodly hour for you.”
“thank you.”
yoongi stopped shuffling off jimin’s bed at the soothing sound of his voice,
feeling a knot build in the back of his throat. the words rang with so much
sincerity and kindness and affection. it had been long since he felt like
someone really, actually cared about him deeply. he took a deep breath and he
tried speaking, words coming out with slight stutters. “no need to thank me.
please.”
“are you crying?”
“no.” jimin straightened up and pressed his lips against yoongi’s cheek, wiping
the tear off.
“liar.” yoongi tried to deny it again, but jimin’s soft hand cradled his cheek.
“don’t make it a habit okay? there’s nothing wrong with a few tears, anyway.”
yoongi couldn’t understand what was happening. why he was crying, or why his
heart kept stammering. why jimin seemed to be the only thing keeping him on
this earth. why waking up at five in the morning to prep things for jimin’s
birthday didn’t feel like a burden.
he didn’t understand why, after two years, rather than getting over his
curiosity for jimin, yoongi felt like he was plummeting down a black hole of
emotional torment.
“oh, god,” jimin sighed out, rolling over yoongi’s body before pulling the
frozen boy to his feet. “waking up this early isn’t so good for you, is it?”
yoongi composed himself and allowed jimin to drag him toward the window, and
let him wipe the rest of his few tears. there was a bit of concern in the
younger’s stare, but he seemed... okay. yoongi reached into his pocket,
extracting two tubes and handing one to jimin.
“is this a sherbet stick?”
yoongi scoffed. “the fizzy stuff? no. it’s raw honey from the farmers market
off the highway. i, uh, have a lot. they’re in the bottom drawer of my desk, if
you ever want any.” jimin stared at the thin tube in his hand and then back up
at yoongi with a goofy grin. “what is it, brat?”
“you really like honey, don’t you?”
yoongi smiled then, nodding. “i’ll tell you a secret no-one knows, like a ‘fun
fact’ about me. i am utterly obsessed. i have honey bath bombs, shampoos, you
name it. it’s sweet, but natural sweet. and it’s the product of hard work. it’s
like this, i think: you know, like everyone has that one goal. that purpose in
their life, or at least what they think their goal to be. we all want that
finishing product, that satisfaction. but the best goals are the selfless ones,
the ones which don’t only benefit you, but everyone around you. they’re the
ones you get to share. bees are badass, jimin. they work selflessly their
entire lives. what are the end products, babe? pollination of plants, which
fucking benefits us, and honey, which they have no use for.”
jimin saw the way yoongi opened the tube with a tiny smile and felt himself
mirror it. “thanks for the fun fact, honey.”
yoongi turned toward the window and slid the opening of the tube between his
lips, hoping the light of the sunrise would mask his blushing face.
“hey, jiminie?”
“hmm,” jimin hummed with mirth in his tone, beaming at yoongi’s pink-dusted
cheeks.
“happy birthday, baby.”
***** petrified *****
Chapter Summary
     the beginning of jimin’s birthday celebration opens a dam of emotions
     that had been long overdue to empty out. little by little, jimin and
     yoongi begin their journey toward total honesty.
Chapter Notes
     maybe tmi but my girlfriend is great and she’s the reason i’m writing
     nice ass softness instead of tragedies heyyyy
the door abruptly opened and yoongi jolted as high up as he could wth jimin
sprawled on his lap. he made eye contact with his mum and dad, feeling his
cheeks redden. “i just came to say happy birthday…” he tried as he began to
shuffle out from under jimin.
the younger immediately reacted, tightening his hold on yoongi’s leg and waist.
“yoongi, i swear to god. you move and i’m gonna make you regret it.” the sleepy
slurs barely made it past the material of yoongi’s sweats and jimin’s mum
giggled against yoongi’s dad’s shoulder. the man looked at them with a stoic
expression.
but yoongi didn’t dare look at their parents and sighed, throwing his head
back. “jimin, mum and dad are here and i really need to pee.” yoongi wasn’t
sure if jimin heard the last part but it didn’t matter because the younger
jumped off the bed, rubbing his eyes off sleepiness and combing a hand through
his hair.
his mum stood there with a smile, arms crossed, and jimin didn’t dare look at
his step-dad. “hey, guys… good morning! oh, man, what time is it? must be hella
late! i’m a bit of a heavy sleeper—.”
“heavy is right,” yoongi huffed, standing up and stretching.
he made his way out the door and past his parents as jimin continued. “but,
anyway…”
“you’re still a cuddler,” his mum chided, then looked at her husband. “this kid
can and will cling to anyone and anything—like a koala. once i found him
hugging his desk. he had been working on an essay and—.”
“mum, you live to embarrass me, don’t you? can’t you at least give me a break
on my birthday?”
“no,” three voices replied in unison, which made jimin sigh. yoongi’s voice
continued as he made his way back in the room toward jimin. “but here, open
this gift first so dad can give you his. he’s late to work.”
jimin looked at the small gift bag and looked up at yoongi. “uh, what’s this?”
“open it!” yoongi groaned.
“okay, okay!” jimin removed the tissue paper and extracted a wrapped box,
sighing. he sat down on his bed and worked on the wrapping (two layers of it)
before gasping. “no.”
“yes,” his step-dad replied with a grin.
“i can’t accept this.”
he looked at the fuzzy pair of dice as his step-dad continued. “well, yoongi’s
leaving soon, he’s not always going to be your chauffeur. you’re gonna have to
have a mode of transportation of your own. and, well, you’ve had your license
for a while so i figured, why not?”
“i’m… not going that far…” yoongi mumbled, but his dad snorted.
“it’s a two hour commute, yoongi.”
”yeah, on the bus.”
“you’re still going far.”
“wait… i thought yoongi was staying local?” jimin’s mum said. jimin looked at
the box and set it down on the bed next to him, biting his lip.
“i… i decided to aim a little higher… i have the grades for it.”
jimin looked up as he saw someone approach him and made eye contact with his
dad. “here,” he said, handing him a small box. it was heavy. “happy birthday.
i’ll try to come out of work early for dinner time.” he gave jimin an awkwardly
angled hug and left with a sigh through the door.
“well, i’ll be in the kitchen! my gift for you is breakfast! i’m making your
favourite!” jimin’s mum left right after mr min and the door closed behind
them.
“well, i’ll go get the rest of your gifts!” yoongi said, about to turn away
toward the door, wincing when he felt jimin’s hand around his wrist.
“yoongi.”
“jiminie, not now. today’s a happy day.”
“where to?”
“baby—.”
“where. to.”
yoongi let out a sigh and turned to jimin. “pepperdine.”
jimin nodded. “it’s a good school.”
“yeah.”
“private.”
“yup.”
“beach view.”
“morning classes in the ocean breeze.”
“that’s ought to sober you up.”
“maybe i’ll become a surfer.”
“that’d be a sight.”
“yes.”
“yes, of course.”
“a-and you can visit me on campus. i can give you a little tour…”
“and you’re close enough to come see my dance performances,” jimin tried.
“and take you to prom.” jimin raised a brow at yoongi’s comment. “no, really.
i’m serious. and i’ll come to your graduation, too.”
“close enough to never miss holidays.”
“your birthday.”
“and your birthday, too.”
yoongi brought jimin into his arms and the younger squeezed him tight. “let me
bring the rest of your gifts and we’ll continue talking, if that’s what you
need.” jimin nodded against the crook of yoongi’s neck and slowly let him go.
“i’ll be back.”
the door clicked behind yoongi and jimin sat on the floor, remembering jin’s
harsh words through the phone. seokjin could be right. yoongi was about to
graduate. this wasn’t going to work. the distance would just add on to their
already naturally complicated relationship.
before his thoughts could stray any further, yoongi walked in with a big bag,
closing the door behind him and then walking to jimin. he mimicked him, sinking
down to the floor. digging through the bag, he handed jimin a thin box. “open
this one first. trust me.”
jimin could tell it was a CD of some sort as he took it from yoongi. he peeled
at the paper carefully, his grin stretching more and more as the cover art was
revealed. “yoongi!” his voice was embarrassingly high pitched from excitement
but he didn’t care. “concrete and gold! you bought me the album!”
“it’s signed.”
“w-what?!”
“dave grohl lives nearby. we can literally say we’re neighbours. i ran into him
at target. we talked, he agreed to sign it for me.”
jimin opened the already unsealed box and grinned even wider at the strokes
made in golden ink. “i… wow. okay. give me a minute.”
“no time. open the next.”
“but i haven’t recovered—.” a box was thrusted into his hand and he nodded.
“well.” he opened this one and his eyes widened, looking up at yoongi. “how did
you find a zune? they don’t make these anymore! it’s personalised! are you
hiding something from me? are you a drug dealer?”
yoongi rolled his eyes. “i opened it already. set it up for you. why don’t you
look through the song library?”
jimin looked at the small device in his hand, then at yoongi, and then thought
of the playlist in yoongi’s phone.
jiminie
“this… has my playlist… you little fuck!” yoongi chuckled as jimin pounced on
him, the older pulling back to bring their lips together. “what if my mum walks
in?” jimin mumbled against yoongi’s lips.
“she’ll get breakfast and a show, then.”
jimin smacked him as yoongi chuckled. “be serious.”
“we’re not done yet.” instead of pushing jimin off, yoongi struggled to reach
for the bag, bringing it closer. “there’s some clothes in here. stuff i picked
out for you that i thought… would look good on you. i mean, everything does,
but things i felt matched… your uhm, style. and stuff. and there’s another one,
but that’s for saturday, i’ve got this whole thing planned for a while… and…
why are you crying? hey. jiminie?”
jimin wiped at his eyes and nodded, taking shallow breaths. “you have no idea
how much i tried the first few months to just at least get along with you…”
“i know, baby.”
“and now, we’re… we’re here. and… and you’re being so sweet and… why couldn’t
it be like this since the beginning?”
yoongi looked down, taking a deep breath. “because i was scared.”
“a-are you scared now?”
yoongi looked into jimin’s eyes, sparkling with tears, and felt himself sag
against his warm body. “absolutely petrified.”
and jimin felt it. he felt the tremor in the older boy’s words, felt the way
his hold tightened around him, felt the stammering in his chest. or maybe it
wasn’t yoongi, maybe it was him. because jimin, too, was terrified. terrified
this was all a dream, or a prank. some sort of twisted joke. but for now he
decided to focus on the way he felt in yoongi’s arms.
today was a happy day.
***** 7:22 *****
Chapter Summary
     it’s been a long drive to their destination, and they both need some
     sleep.
Chapter Notes
     have a lovely and safe new year’s eve!
it was a long drive with not many words spoken—silent, but calming. jimin had
his playlist going quietly as he looked at the scenery rushing past them
through the passenger side window.
but at the same time, jimin couldn't seem to stop glancing over at yoongi. he
wanted to stare oh so badly, but didn't want to make it obvious he was eyeing
him. it would be awkward since yoongi was driving. no point in distractions
right now.
"you know i can feel you looking at me, right?"
it was as if jimin was holding his breath for a bit, as he let out a soft gasp
and then laughed.
"i didn't think you would notice."
jimin saw a smile form on yoongi's face. what a sight to see. he let his free
hand travel to jimin's, lovingly squeezing it as he looked at jimin.
"you're adorable, really."
jimin laughed bashfully. "oh, shut up."
"absolutely stunning."
jimin smacked him lightly with his free hand, a bit awkwardly angled. "stop
it."
"irresistibly captivating."
by now jimin's cheeks were a deep scarlet. "yoongi," he whined, turning to look
at him. yoongi  made the mistake of looking toward him, the car swerving a bit
and snapping him back to the road. jimin giggled, not at all concerned about
the loss of control just a second before.
"i told you," yoongi grumbled, "captivating—and dangerously at that. this is a
new car, jimin. stop being so cute."
yoongi yawned right after and jimin sighed, looking at the time on the display.
"when will we get there? i think you need to rest."
the older of the two sighed and looked at the dashboard too. "i wish you would
have slept throughout the trip. you'll be too tired to enjoy it later."
yoongi's thumb caressed the palm of jimin's hand before letting it go. "to
enjoy what? yoongi, where are we going?"
yoongi's cheeky smirk still made jimin's heart skip a beat. "some place you've
never been," he replied with confidence as a small market came into view.
"we're almost there."
"how do you know i've never been?"
"oh, i asked your mum."
jimin raised a brow as yoongi leaned forward a bit and looked around,
squinting. "you've done your research."
"i told you," he pressed, "i've been planning this for a while."
yoongi parked the car and jimin finally took in where he was, raising a brow.
"this... is a hotel."
"rest stop," yoongi corrected. "i need sleep, breakfast, a good ass shower. i
don't know about you, but i'd rather sleep in a hotel bed than your car."
yoongi checked them in to the already reserved room, taking their bags while
jimin just carried yoongi's jacket. millions of thoughts flooded his mind as
yoongi's veiny hand unlocked the door to their room, pushing it open to allow
jimin in. yoongi saw the scarlet tainting jimin's cheeks and rolled his eyes
when jimin looked up and ducked his chin, averting eye contact. "what's going
on in that cute head of yours?" yoongi drawled, setting their things down on
the floor after the door shut behind them. jimin set the jacket on the desk,
not looking up at yoongi. "come on, jiminie, what's on your mind?" kicking his
shoes off, he launched himself to the bed, bouncing twice. "oh," he added,
laughing a little, "are they naughty thoughts?"
"oh, my god. shut up. and don't say the word 'naughty', it's weird!"
yoongi sighed, stretching his arms out to him. "come over here, baby. let's
nap." jimin bit his lip, rocking back and forth on his heels. "jiminie," he
tried again, "don't make me do grabby hands."
"do grabby hands," he demanded, biting back a smile.
"come on, little love." yoongi opened and closed his outstretched hands,
throwing in a few fake sobs. "don't make me suffer like this." jimin grinned,
removing his shoes and shuffling into bed, instantly captured by yoongi's
embrace. "now i can sleep, finally. but, are you going to tell me what's
bothering you? honestly. did i do something? do you not like surprises?"
detecting the sudden shift in yoongi's tone, jimin grew panicked. "everything
so far is great! you're not doing anything wrong! and i do like surprises!
really!"
"so, then... what are you thinking about?"
"i... i just... well... don't make fun of me!"
yoongi shifted a bit and reached to jimin's face, caressing his cheek. "tell
me. i won't make fun."
"they're just... bad thoughts. well, not bad! just... well... we're five hours
away from home, from friends and family, from everything we have to hide from.
and well it hit me that we don't have to hide anything here."
yoongi smiled. "fuck yeah, babe. it's a fucking relief. but i don't
understand—."
"we can... hold hands..."
"well, yeah. duh."
"and hug and kiss."
"babe, this is—."
"a-and—."
"oh," yoongi mused. "i see where you're getting at. does my baby want to make
love?" jimin began to bite his lip and shake his head when yoongi rolled over
on top of him, hands cradling his cheeks as their lips met. "is that it, baby?
you want to make love?" jimin buried his face in yoongi's neck, shaking his
head. "then what?"
"i wanna fuck."
yoongi peeled away in surprise, eyes wide as saucers. "oh. well. wow." clearing
his throat, he tried again. "that's... not what i was expecting."
"i'm sorry."
"no, don't apologise. i'm, im glad. just... that's not what i thought you would
want? you get me? i thought this whole trip was just you and me... you know...
acting like an actual couple for once. i— i didn't think you'd—."
"just ignore it."
"jimin you just told me you wanted to fuck, what do you mean just ignore it?"
yoongi looked down at jimin's blushing face, at the way his eyes wavered away.
he felt himself laugh. why was he so happy? why was he allowing himself to be
so happy?
it was a bad idea.
"we should sleep for now, baby. i still have a bit more to drive." he leaned
down and pressed a peck on his nose, rolling off him but bringing him back into
his arms. "sleep, please?"
jimin nodded, cuddling closer against his chest. the boy was tired, so it
didn't take him long to doze off.
yoongi looked at his peaceful expression as the boy slept, shaking his head as
he let go of him and stared up at the ceiling. "what am i doing, for fucks
sake?" he hissed. taking one last look at jimin's soft features, he touched his
lower lip gently before rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. "jimin i'm
so sorry. i'm really not strong enough. i wish i could just stay the fuck
away."
the digital clock read 7:22 as his eyes unwillingly shut.
***** so endearing *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin couldn’t quite grasp the 180 turn yoongi’s character had taken,
     but he couldn’t deny he was absolutely elated.
Chapter Notes
     new year same bullshit fam ;D
     wish the best to you all!!!!
it was almost 10 when jimin rolled to his other side and reached out for
yoongi. except, the bed was empty and cold. he sat up in a blur, eyes wide and
in a panic when he looked around and didn't recognise the room. things began to
slowly click back into place and he plopped down on the bed again, hearing the
shower running.
"what the hell it's so early," he groaned, reaching for the phone in his back
pocket. he entered the group chat with a yawn.
me: i woke up trying to cuddle but yoongi's in the shower help o: what is there
to do in a hotel room?
the responses were so immediate it was almost comical.
taetae to happy birthday midget: wheresnt tf is you i went to your house and yr
mum was leik "oh ya he left wit h yoongi" lkke wtFucK? HOW DARE u not tell ME
IM UR BESFRIEND B

alpaca hoe to happy birthday midget: i just hope you're aware of the
consequences jimin /: what if your parents find out? don't u think it's weird
that you two suddenly go on road trips together??
me: i understand your concern but things are fine now we have talked it out
taetae to happy birthday midget: damn str8 u get that cute emo butt my pal

me: yas
alpaca hoeto happy birthday midget: jimin just think this through a little more
please |: i don't think dating your step-brother is a good idea especially with
how badly you were hurt what feels like just HOURS ago
me: thanks for your concern jin seriously and thank you for your support but i
need to take my own risks and learn how to stand up after a fall on my own. for
now i'll just enjoy this nice birthday trip even if i have no clue where we're
going
taetae to happy birthday midget: i kno wher ur goin my friend yupre goinf down
on dat DICK
me: LMAO
alpaca hoeto happy birthday midget: ugh i'm sighing so loud right now jimin
don't please
me: IM GONNA SPIN ON THAT DICK LIKE A BEYBLADE
alpaca hoe to happy birthday midget: jimin DON'T
taetae to happy birthday midget: look at this master hoet i'm so proud :D

me: i learned from the king of hoetry :D
alpaca hoe to happy birthday midget: both of you please be more responsible
especially you jimin seriously
taetae to happy birthday midget: go get ur mans dick baby ;D
me: i will ;)
jimin put his phone on the night stand next to him when he heard the shower
stop. the door opened abruptly and jimin let out a small yell when yoongi
launched himself at him. "i'm cold! hug me!"
jimin laughed, throwing his arms around him. "babe, you're all wet, get off!"
yoongi looked up and wiggled his eyebrows. "babe, you say? hmm..."
jimin sputtered. "no, i—."
"it's okay, i like it." water droplets from his hair fell on jimin's face and
they laughed in unison, jimin letting out a sigh after. "what is it, baby?"
"well, i'm comfortable here. i want to stay here with you." jimin saw the way
yoongi's features softened as he continued. "i don't want it to end. i want
things to stay this way. no more fighting, no more miscommunication. i just
want you..."
"i'm trying my best, jimin. believe me. i'm just not the best in general."
jimin raised a hand to yoongi's cheek, watching yoongi instantly lean into the
touch, closing his eyes. "don't say that."
"i've hurt you."
"it's fine."
yoongi scoffed. "it's not, jimin."
"i say it's fine."
"why are you so understanding? get mad at me for once. but i mean it. just, i
don't know, lash out on me. something. just..."
jimin's other hand cradled his cheek, bringing yoongi's face closer for a kiss.
he felt himself melt against yoongi, that same pressure in his chest and the
weight in his belly making itself present again as the kiss deepened. jimin's
hands travelled down to a wet, bare back, lightly scratching with his nails as
yoongi moved to plant feathery kisses on jimin's neck. but jimin wanted more,
each gentle kiss making it harder and harder to breathe. "hyung," he whined,
pushing yoongi's towel off his lower half. yoongi groaned and peeled away from
him, shaking his head.
"we need breakfast, jiminie."
"i need you more."
jimin saw as yoongi retreated, shaking his head. "i don't doubt it, little
love. but for once, can we just be soft? can we not depend on sex for a sense
of affection?"
"do you just not want me anymore?" jimin blurted, blushing when he realised he
had spoken his thoughts. yoongi rolled his eyes and walked to their small
travel bags, picking out clothes.
"in through one ear and out the other." jimin stood up and grabbed the pile of
fresh clothes yoongi was handing him, proceeding to change in front of him.
when they both finished, yoongi took a backpack with him, his phone, the
keycard, and jimin's hand. "denny's or ihop?"
                                 ——***——***——

jimin once again reproduced the playlist yoongi had arranged for him, finding a
lot of these songs were songs he already loved, as well as songs he had heard
yoongi play before. it was a perfect playlist, filled with songs they could
both sing along to. he was surprised to hear yoongi's singing voice—low, raspy,
a little whiny. his voice was perfect, as well, just like him.
it seemed everything about today was perfect.
a song jimin didn't recognise began playing and he looked at the name on his
zune, furrowing his eyebrows. "wanderlust by the weeknd?" he asked, to which
yoongi nodded.
"i love his music."
"it's not your usual emo shit."
yoongi scoffed. "there's more to me than attila. you should check him out,
though. he's cool."
"can i check you out instead?"
yoongi laughed, shoulders shaking a little. "your gaze is distracting. can it
wait until we get there?"
jimin looked outside, sipping his leftover hot chocolate, staring at the desert
like reservation. "how long till we get there?"
yoongi grinned. "after the rez, like another hour."
and the other hour was spent with jimin and yoongi singing, the younger
snapping a few photos of the view as they wound up the mountain and followed
the crystalline river. jimin insisted on stopping by the river a little, but
yoongi promised they’d come back when the weather was warmer. in the meantime,
as they now wound downhill, yoongi told jimin to open the backpack.
“there’s one more present in there, baby,” he added once jimin eyed him warily.
jimin reached in and took out a wrapped box, shredding the paper with
curiosity. “it’s... it’s a camera! yoongi, stop spending so much money on me!”
“well,” yoongi retorted, “if i hadn’t bought it, you would have whined about
needing a camera.”
“why would i need a camera?” jimin mused, opening the box and extracting it.
yoongi passed the giant boulder and chuckled, shrugging. “i think they’ll
answer that for you.”
jimin looked up from his lap at his boyfriend, frowning. “who will?”
yoongi’s grin was infectious, bringing a beam to jimin’s face as well. “turn to
your right. meet the one hundred giants.”
jimin turned immediately and met with the giant sequoias, the very trees he had
always dreamt of visiting but never had the chance. as yoongi slowed down to
enter the car park, jimin threw his seatbelt off and clutched the camera to his
chest, legs bouncing up and down. the moment the car stopped, jimin jumped out
of the car, yoongi following suit. before yoongi had a chance to pay for
parking, the younger launched himself at him with a bubbly laugh, kissing his
cheeks and forehead fervently. and, before yoongi could reciprocate, jimin had
bolted across the road and into the mouth of the hiking trail.
yoongi couldn’t help but find him so endearing
***** so what? *****
Chapter Notes
     hAhaahAhAha
jimin stretched and sat up, smiling a little as memories from yesterday
afternoon flooded his mind. once again the space in bed next to him was cold
but he didn't panic when he saw the bit of light coming from underneath the
bathroom door. he heard yoongi's voice coming from within so he figured the
older must have been on the phone. he reached for his own, scrolling through
social media, liking this and screenshotting that. it was when he was going
through his insta that he realised he didn't follow yoongi on any platform. he
decided to search him up and came up with a private profile.
fun.
he decided to just leave it for later, going to the explore page and scrolling
through memes when yoongi stepped out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut.
"hyung?" jimin called out timidly. yoongi looked up from his phone, jaw set,
making jimin stutter. "what's wrong?" he finally managed.
"change of plans," was what yoongi replied, "we're leaving in a bit. i just
need to sleep a little more."
jimin felt the panic begin to bubble in his chest. "are mum and dad okay?"
yoongi huffed. "they're fine. this is just a personal thing, jimin. don't
worry."
what could possibly be wrong? what could be personal and urgent enough for them
to leave early? well, yoongi was his boyfriend, right? he could... ask? but
jimin looked at the clenched teeth, and the careful, slow breathing, and saw
that the boy was more upset than angry, and decided to stop himself from
asking. he just hoped it wasn't too serious.
jimin saw yoongi hesitantly crawl back into bed, almost as if he were dreading
it. dreading what? sleep? going back? jimin? either way, jimin's heart filled
with worry for his boyfriend, and he tried his best to give him space, knowing
the boy probably needed it.
after a few minutes of sleepless silence, jimin spoke up. "i can take the
floor, if you need space. or, or i can sleep in my car." yoongi snorted,
fingertips slowly, carefully, reaching to jimin's hair.
"why should you take the punishment for my problems?"
morbidly curious, jimin held his tongue and decided to put his phone on the
floor and close his eyes. he knew the older wasn't going to give him any
answers, and the weird pang in his chest made him decide he probably didn't
want to hear it, either.
yoongi's breathing pattern changed to signal sleep and jimin wished desperately
he could sleep too, but found himself lying awake until 9 am.
and when the older boy woke up minutes after, he refused to meet jimin's gaze.
                                    —*—*—*—
"i thought you said everything was fine?" jin drawled from the copilot seat of
jimin's car. they were on their way to pick up taehyung and jungkook, with the
plan to go shopping together. "so why are you back early?"
"i don't know, i just told you. we were fine but he got a phone call like at 1
am and well... we're back..." jimin parked the car and turned to jin, who was
staring at him steadily. "what?" he grumbled.
"i'm just not used to seeing  you behind the wheel." jimin snorted at jin's
words, both of them smiling. "in all seriousness, i do have to apologise to
you. the day i scolded you on the phone, i had gotten into a bit of a fight
with namjoon and... well... everything i said was somewhat biased. i should
have been more considerate and supportive, especially since you had been in a
good mood. but what i said still stands, jimin. this relationship isn't gonna
end well. at all. ever."
jimin looked at the steering wheel with a frown. "can't i just enjoy it for
now?"
"you can," jin chirped, "but enjoy what, necessarily? the ignoring? the
jealousy? the secrecy? the lack of communication?"
jimin turned to him with a glare. "we're working on that. we both have to.
trust me."
"what can you possibly be hiding from yoongi? tell me, what have you done wrong
besides stick around? all he wants from you is some kinky, proscriptive sex—."
"we didn't have sex this weekend! he was very nice and sweet and he was so
cuddly and silly—."
"the kid has got to be bipolar."
"so what if he is?!" jimin wailed, "so what? is it wrong to like someone like
that?"
"it is when he doesn't like you back."
jimin winced, but then his jaw clenched. "why else would he be with me if he
didn't like me? huh? for fun? for his entertainment? do you think he's stupid
enough to risk being caught just for a mental instability induced whim?" jin
sighed and jimin snickered in disbelief. "you can't be serious. you're my
second best friend, jin—."
"and because i am, i have to tell you this. taehyung won't. because he sees you
happy and more social and more confident. but i know how poisonous that fake
stuff could be."
"what do you gain from making me feel like this?" jimin mumbled, voice back to
a reasonable volume.
"i'm hoping to keep you in one piece."
taehyung knocked on jin's window and they both turned to the grinning boys
standing outside. jimin took a deep breath and smiled back.
***** the gym bag *****
Chapter Summary
     jimin isn’t the distrusting type, but paranoia creeps in smoothly in
     the calmest of moments.
     that weird, short interaction in front of the vending machines, what
     did it mean?
Chapter Notes
     it’s a filler but
     it confirms some theories you lot have
     from here on the story will make more sense and you’ll see why i say
     yoongi is trying his best :|
jimin hung up after the sixth ring, rolling his eyes. whatever. he didn't even
have to give yoongi a ride home. he could just leave now. but...
damn it, yoongi had been distant again and it was eating at him. though, it
wasn’t as bad as the other times. they had been napping together, listening to
music until it lulled them to sleep. they had watched the movies yoongi had
listed what felt like years ago. everything felt like it was years ago. time
was a weird thing with yoongi. if they weren’t sleeping or watching movies they
were helping their parents with chores, something that jimin had noticed made
his mum super happy. were the boys so messy and uncooperative?
but, if they weren’t doing any of that, they were locked up in a room, hands
roaming each other’s bodies, lips drinking each other in, before yoongi pulled
away with a million apologies and gave him a halfhearted excuse.
homework, parents, tiredness... jimin had heard everything. he looked at the
time and decided to walk back to the canteen, maybe get something from a
vending machine. he didn’t want to admit this to himself, but he was stalling
in hopes he would find him.
as he was about to insert his money, hurried footsteps stopped right next to
him and he turned to see hoseok beaming at him, catching his breath. “thank god
it was you, otherwise i would have looked like a psycho running down the hall,”
he huffed.
“uh,” jimin stammered, “want a drink?”
hoseok smiled brighter. jimin thought it was almost blinding. “yeah, water
would be cool! speaking of cool,” he continued, slinging his gym bag off his
shoulder. jimin handed him the cold bottle and hoseok thanked him before adding
to what he was going to say. “have you by any chance seen yoongi? this is his
stuff.” he raised the gym bag and jiggled it, jimin frowning at the foreign
bag. “he’s not answering his phone and i thought, why not ask his little
brother? he ignores people’s calls sometimes but he’s so whipped for you i
figured you’d talked to him already.”
jimin bit the smile of satisfaction back with the help of this new information.
“actually, he hasn’t been answering my calls, either. i was thinking he might
have hitched a ride with you or namjoon.” he saw the way hoseok’s pleasant
smile dropped as he took a swig of his bottle. it was like he had removed a
mask in order to drink, features growing serious and strangely handsome. there
was a dark aura to it— not necessarily scary, but just not what the usual
bouncing ray of energy felt like.
or maybe jimin was just wary now, and more perceptive than before, and he was
finally understanding that hoseok wasn’t as good a person as he thought.
jimin snorted at his own thoughts when hoseok’s water made it past the corner
of his lips and he chuckled cutely as he wiped it off.
as if.
“he probably left with namjoon, then. or he went home early. maybe it’s one of
those days, you know? when he’s like, irritable and just angsty about
everything. can you give him this for me, though? it’s been roaming ‘round for
a while and he’s a lazy fuck so he never takes it.” jimin nodded, taking the
bag from hoseok. “just tell him to give me the bag back. it’s my lucky one.”
“okay,” jimin began with a chuckle, drifting off when something fell from the
bag. both hoseok and jimin stared curiously at the item on the floor.
“guess my lucky bag has a hole,” hoseok lamented, sighing, “but at least i know
how to sew, kind of. and i found my favourite lip balm!” he picked up the light
yellow tube, smiling as he uncapped it and took in the scent. “eos has tubes
now, it’s great. i can’t believe i left it in this bag and i never thought of
checking it. i’ve been using this black cherry one but it tastes kind of sweet
and ruins what i eat and drink—.”
jimin wasn’t listening to this as he stared at the pale yellow tube, heart
beating faster. “you say that’s eos? what scent is it?”
“oh, you like eos, too! it’s van—.”
“jimin!” they both whipped their heads back to see yoongi walking to them, not
in a rush at all. “i have like ten missed calls from you two,” yoongi grumbled,
crossing his arms as he made it to them. “did i not tell you i was going to the
college centre after class?”
“no,” the two boys bit in unison. yoongi sighed.
“oh, that’s my bag of stuff, right? why is jimin carrying it, he’s not your
messenger bird.” yoongi took the bag with an eye roll, hanging it on his
shoulder. “besides, it’s just books and a beanie. it could wait.”
“i don’t think so, it’s been bouncing back and forth everywhere and you never
take it home. so take it home now.”
yoongi’s jaw clenched. “i really feel like just shoving it back in your
crapsicle of a car to fucking spite you—.”
hoseok’s pleasant laugh didn’t mirror his face as he glowered at yoongi. “try
me, sugar. let’s see where spiting me takes you.”
jimin grew alarmed at the tone hoseok’s voice had taken and was so shocked he
didn’t feel he was being dragged away by yoongi until they were in front of
jimin’s car. yoongi dropped the gym bag to the floor and embraced jimin,
burying his nose in the smaller’s neck with a shaky inhale and exhale.
he felt yoongi snicker against his neck and jimin furrowed his brows. “what’s
wrong?”
“you smell like strawberries.”
jimin sputtered. “is, is that bad?” he felt yoongi pull away and he looked up
to find him smiling a little.
“not bad at all. i do love me some strawberry mochi.” he picked up the bag
again with a groan. “let’s go home, yeah? i don’t think PDA is something we
should be doing here and i really want to kiss you.”
“you drive,” jimin suggested, handing yoongi his keys and walking around to the
copilot seat. yoongi started the engine and turned the radio on, backing out of
the parking slot as jimin looked out the window. he still felt weird about his
encounter with hoseok.
“oh, you like eos, too! it’s van—.”
vanilla.
hoseok was going to say vanilla.
yoongi had smelt like vanilla.
he hated this. the doubt and the paranoia and the uncertainties. and the worst
part is that jimin was most likely reaching. he was just hurting himself over
lip balm!
but what was with the way hoseok had talked to yoongi? and why didn’t yoongi
fire back? or did he and jimin had just zeroed out? yoongi would’ve, right?
yoongi would’ve.
yoongi would’ve.
***** he doesn’t deserve you *****
Chapter Summary
     jin gets that sweet volunteering opportunity, jimin gets followed by
     yoongi on insta, things are okay. but the mind is a powerful,
     destructive thing.
     is chanyeol right about what he said to jimin?
Chapter Notes
     i’m back o:
after a bit more of insisting from chanyeol, jimin finally gave in and accepted
the party invitation.
he had a bad feeling, though. what good could possibly come out of going to
that party? nothing good has ever come out of them.
still, he could not let chanyeol down like that.
"tell yoongi to either grow some balls and sit with you at lunch or stop
staring at you across the entire fucking canteen," jin grumbled, taking an
angry bite off his sandwich.
but taehyung snorted. "well, you tell namjoon that, too, since he can't keep
his eyes off you. i mean, you're already here, why don't you just forgive him?
you already know you were wrong about the whole situation."
"yes, but my heart doesn't know that. it'll take time to heal."
jimin sighed and focused on his own plate of bland school spaghetti, trying his
best to tune his friends out.
it was then when his phone pinged with a notification. curious, jimin slowly
slipped it out of his pocket. it was an instagram notification but he hadn't
posted anything recently. he tapped his screen and the notification flashed at
him brightly.
[prk.jmn]: yoongi min (@min.yoon) is now following you.
jimin looked up slowly to where his step brother was sat and was met with a
wink and a grin that sent him looking down abruptly.
what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK.
jimin tentatively clicked on the notification and stared at his profile.
yoongi min
i don't like boys... i like one boy ;)
i make music @agustd
pepperdine bound
followed byjoonie.k, vantae.kim, jjinta_jin, and 452+
jesus fuck jesus fuck jesus fuck.
his profile was still very much private but he sent a follow request—which was
approved immediately. jimin exited the app in a panic after seeing the most
recent post.
why did he look so hot?
"jimin?"
jimin looked up at the sound of jin's concerned tone. "what is it?"
"are you okay? you look a little... flushed."
jimin sighed with a nod. "just peachy. but anyway, did mr carson agree to let
you be his teacher assistant?"
jin grinned at that, slamming his sandwich on the table. "yes! i'm so happy! i
really need these volunteer hours! bless that chubby, wonderful, santa claus
looking man!" he kept on babbling about how he was so relieved things were
going his way academically and how excited he was to be able to have lunch with
them in the school canteen and how old but young he felt by being here. jimin
just laughed at the appropriate times and shook his head when needed.
he scratched at his neck absentmindedly and then winced.
his conversation with chanyeol attacked him with the force of ten hurricanes.
not the entire conversation. rather, it was just one line that kept replaying
in his head.
"jimin, i know those are hickies."
of course he knew. of course! it was so obvious but jimin had wanted to think
it wasn't. and to make matters worse, chanyeol had hinted that he knew yoongi
gave them to him. what did chanyeol think about jimin now? was he disgusted? he
most likely was, since come on! it's his step brother! jimin felt himself fall
into sudden panic, finding it harder to breathe, tears prickling at the corners
of his eyes, the room spinning. if chanyeol knew, then the whole school knew.
they probably all thought he was a slut. he was no longer sunshiny jimin, the
image he tried so hard to build and maintain after that disastrous freshman
year. everyone probably hated him, everyone probably wanted him out. the dance
team would probably be better off without him. everyone would. who needs a
fake-innocent, fornicating, insincere, disgusting, perverted person like him?
no one. no one. no one.
the sound of the bell ringing and his name being shouted snapped him back to
his table, tears running steadily.
his heart was still racing. it all happened so quickly.
the mind was truly a powerful and destructive thing.
he looked down at his tray, feeling his lip tremble. he needed to get his act
together.
"jimin, let me take you home."
it was yoongi's voice, and jimin felt his heart clench in his chest as he took
his tray and looked away from the table, toward the trash bin. "i'm fine."
"jiminie—."
"i said i'm fine, yoongi. don't worry. please."
yes, please don't worry. it just makes me love you more.
as he walked away toward the trash bin and deposited his tray, he heard yoongi
whispering fervently to his friends. the only word he could make out from it
all was a desperate "help".
jimin wiped at his face and made his way to his US history class.
                                      ***
the halls were beginning to flood with the halloween decorations, and jimin
smiled. his school was really serious when it came to decorating the halls.
yoongi was already leaning against jimin's car, the glistening of the paint
pale compared to the smile yoongi was throwing at him.
"come on, brat. i have a whole itinerary planned for us today."
jimin handed him the keys and frowned. "yoongi, it's a school night."
he flashed him a wider grin that made his eyes close and his gums show even
more. "trust me."
jimin nodded and walked to the passenger side, jumping a little when yoongi
gave his thigh a light smack. his hand stayed there, massaging him as he backed
out of the parking slot. the girl from the car next to them stared at them
inquisitively.
yoongi was being more and more careless about their affair, always touching him
more before and after school. never really during lunch, since he stayed with
his little cluster of friends, but the touching and hugging had increased.
jimin tried to not be too happy about it, but it was hard. everything was hard
when yoongi was involved. everything was just so... complicated.
when they made it home, they were both surprised to see chanyeol standing
there, box in hand and rocking forward and back. yoongi's jaw clenched and he
retracted his hand from jimin's thigh, killed the engine, and hopped out of the
car. he opened jimin's door and took his backpack, dragging him to the
entrance.
then, in a very bold move that left jimin stunned, yoongi looked up at chanyeol
sternly with a warning, saying, "don't keep him too long," before planting a
soft kiss on jimin's hair.
jimin blinked at his retreating boyfriend, stunned at the sudden display of
affection.
"s-sorry," jimin managed to let out, turning back to the gentle giant. "he-
he's... i-i don't know—."
"look at how bright you shine with just one kiss, jimin," chanyeol lamented.
"seriously. he doesn't deserve you."
jimin looked toward the entrance before looking back up at chanyeol. "i'm...
i'm starting to think you're wrong."
***** twenty-eight *****
Chapter Summary
     the reflection in the mirror wasn’t of a loved boy being loved. it
     was the reflection of an object, a toy.
     it was the reflection of a naive boy being used.
"this house is not a home to you, but you decide to go ahead and lay down, lay
down..."
jimin rolled his eyes at the song playing as he made his way up the stairs.
leave it to his boyfriend to be so dramatic.
"there are no words to describe the depth of your indifference..."
"babe, i'm back. chanyeol just came to leave some pastries." jimin jiggled the
box when yoongi looked up from his notebook with a somber expression. "they
fired him. so he stole pastries. and stuff. yoongi, please, stop looking at me
like that!"
the older of the two rolled his eyes and lowered the volume of the music. "why
did you take twenty minutes to accept a box of pastries?" he grumbled, "and why
has the word pastries been said so many times already? it sounds weird now."
jimin thought yoongi was trying to make the situation lighter, to keep the
peace they had miraculously maintained, so he giggled and made his way to him,
leaving the box on the desk and sitting on yoongi's lap.
the older groaned. "acting cute isn't going to appease me, brat. you're wasting
your time." still, jimin wound his arms around the boy's neck and cuddled into
his warmth, lips grazing the ink butterflies. he felt a little surge of panic
as the seconds ticked by and yoongi didn't hug him back. actually, the oldest
didn't have a single finger on jimin, sitting rigidly below him. jimin frowned.
this wasn't supposed to happen. they were good now. what happened to the
itinerary he was talking about? didn't he have something planned for jimin? so
why wasn't he paying attention to him?
"hyung," jimin whined, "what's wrong now?"
"you're heavy," the other replied simply, grabbing small shoulders and shoving
the younger away. "off."
"b-but..."
"jimin, for fuck's sake, stop being so needy!"
jimin's heart was hammering in his chest now, both startled and angry at the
sudden 180 the mood had taken. "what the fuck is your problem, min? what did i
fucking do now?! what is it this time?"
yoongi scrunched his eyes shut and took a deep
breath. "lower your voice. mum and dad are almost here—."
"fuck that! besides, they're probably already deaf since you always have your
shit ass music on maximum volume! so fucking tell me!"
yoongi opened his eyes and his livid gaze made jimin shrink away, the boy
standing up completely and taking a few steps back. "you're going to shut up
and walk the fuck out of my room, okay?" seethingly, he forced out from between
his teeth.
but jimin wasn't having any of this today, crossing his arms. "and what if i
don't?"
"don't. test me."
"i said," jimin persisted, "what if i don't? what are you going to do? hm?
there's nothing you can do to me to make a point anymore. i've felt it all."
"you've felt it all," yoongi echoed with a scoff, standing up. "we'll see about
that, jiminie."
his voice, laced with anger and something else jimin couldn't decipher, settled
its weight in the pit of the younger's belly. before he could make an escape—
or rather, before he even had a chance to entertain the idea of running away—
yoongi picked him up and threw him on the bed, mattress creaking in protest.
whatever oxygen had been in jimin's lungs escaped him completely and he gulped
for air just before yoongi straddled him and began attacking his lips.
"have you felt this already?" yoongi challenged, following his sloppy, open
mouthed kisses with a tug at jimin's lower lip. answering was impossible, so
jimin tried his best to nod his head yes. "and this?" he taunted, nipping at
his neck. jimin's shameful mewls and the way his legs automatically wound
around yoongi's waist only made him take things further. he began unbuckling
his pants when jimin spoke again.
"pleasure, pain. i've felt it all. in every inch of my body. it's the only
thing you ever do to me, yoongi. you hurt me, and then you kiss it better."
yoongi's eyes widened and he stopped breathing for a second, staring at the
smaller below him. plump, just-kissed lips in a quivering pout and lashes
clumped with unshed tears, yoongi couldn't help but lose himself in his face.
"i-i'm sorry. i don't want—."
the phone in yoongi's pocket rang mercilessly. "don't answer," jimin pleaded,
"let's talk."
but yoongi extracted the phone and looked at the name on the display. when he
turned back to jimin, their gazes never really met. "leave."
"hyung—."
"leave, jimin!"
"fine!" jimin shoved yoongi off with all his strength, scurrying off the bed as
the older missed the call and worked on redialling. "but listen to me, yoongi."
"i'm done listening. go."
"and i'm done with you—."
"no. you're not. you're not, jimin."
jimin laughed emotionlessly and continued with a shake of his head. "don't even
think about approaching me again until you fucking fix yourself. although,
knowing you, i shouldn't hold my breath."
by the time jimin had finished his sentence, yoongi was already on the phone.
"hi, hobi. i know, i'm sorry. i tried answering on time but i couldn't quite
reach the phone—."
jimin walked the short distance to his room and collapsed on his bed after he
locked the door, groaning. "you're not crying, jimin," he scolded himself
shakily. "you're not crying. a phone call means nothing. hoseok calling him
means nothing. the vanilla lip balm means nothing. you're overreacting. your
letting jin get to you. you're letting taetae's gossip get to you. they're just
best friends like you and tae and jin. hoseok, joon, yoongi. taehyung, jin,
jimin. exactly the same."
"he doesn't deserve you," chanyeol's words rang. jimin shook his head as if
that were to make them go away.
but then he stopped when the music picked up in volume.
the phone call was over.
that was short. that couldn't possibly be a boyfriend call. jimin was back at
it again with the overthinking.
"stop hurting me so much when i like you like this! stop hurting me when i... i
love... i love?"
jimin sat up in horror, looking at his reflection from his bed.
tired eyes, frowning lips, tousled hair, marks on his neck. it didn't look like
a boy in love.
it looked like a boy who was being used.
his phone pinged with a text and he hesitantly pulled it out, wincing.
taetae: my soulmate senses are tingly dont cry binch come over for some good
ass movies   D:< 
jimin nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. movies at tae's sounded like
a great idea. he just felt bad he wouldn't see his mum today, but could he be
blamed for not feeling good here?
this house was not a home to him, after all.
End Notes
     hi, привет, hola, 안녕
     my name is anya but i go by a whole ass mess™
     you’ll see why.
     this is my first time actually posting here; i used to frequent ffnet
     and then recently i began posting on wattpad but
     *disgruntled noises*
     anyway i hope you like this series o: i’m really fond of it even if
     it IS a mess (:
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