Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12325341.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      SixTONES_(Band), Sexy_Zone
  Relationship:
      Morimoto_Shintarou/Sato_Shori
  Character:
      Morimoto_Shintarou, Sato_Shori
  Additional Tags:
      Canon_Universe, Romance
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-07-30 Words: 14292
****** he’s all that ******
by thunderylee
Summary
     Hokuto bets that Shori can’t get Shintaro into bed.
Notes
     reposted from agck.
“I bet you five thousand yen that you can’t get Shintaro into bed,” Hokuto says
evenly, and Shori chokes on his onigiri. “None of that handjob bullshit either.
You have to have actual sex with him. Dick in ass penetration.”
Shori makes a face. “Must you be so vulgar?”
“Must you be so prude?” Hokuto asks, dodging Shori’s elbow to his side. “Come
on, it’ll be good for both of you. You’re weird about sex and he’s just weird.”
“I am not weird about…” Shori trails off. “What do I need your five thousand
yen for anyway? Last I checked, I’m the one in a debuted group, so I make more
money than you.”
“Ooh, that burns,” Hokuto says sarcastically. “Bragging rights, dude. Nobody
has been able to touch him yet. He’s seventeen, for fuck’s sake. Someone needs
to pop that cherry already.”
“And you’re nominating me to do it?!” Shori exclaims. “You know I haven’t—”
“Yes, I know,” Hokuto cuts him off. “That’s why you’re the perfect choice. He
won’t suspect a thing.”
Shori frowns. “I am not agreeing to this.”
Hokuto grins as he opens his book for their next class. “No, but now you’re
thinking about it.”
Shori is most definitely not thinking about it. Not during the rest of class,
not when he goes home, and certainly not the next time he sees Shintaro at
Shounen Club rehearsal. It’s almost as if Hokuto had planted a seed in his mind
that sprouts into a full-blown obsession, because now it’s all he does think
about, and he’s pretty sure he hadn’t had feelings for anyone before now.
Especially not someone he’s not even that close to.
Still, it doesn’t stop him from noticing things, like how effortlessly Shintaro
picks up dance moves and how frustrated he gets when someone else messes up.
He’d either be the best or worst leader in his group, whenever he gets one.
Shori can’t imagine what it’s like to live this life since age nine, and he
started quite early himself.
“You okay?” Kotaki asks on a break, and Shori shakes himself out of his
thoughts. “I haven’t seen you so quiet in a long time.”
“Sorry,” Shori says automatically, a habit he can’t quite break. “I’ve just got
a lot on my mind.”
Nothing about Kotaki is subtle, including the way he pretends to just sit next
to Shori without an agenda. “You know,” he says slowly, stretching his
overgrown arms over his head. “I think you two would be good together.”
Shori turns to stare at him. “Huh?”
“Don’t act like you haven’t been staring at him all day,” Kotaki stage-
whispers, which is probably the closest Kansai men get to being secretive.
“Between you and me, I think he would go out with you, even if I’m not
confident he knows what that means.”
Shori sighs. Considering his profession and the other members in his group, it
doesn’t take much for him to give in. “Okay.”
He doesn’t expect Shintaro to say yes. “You know this is a date, right?” he
checks. “Just you and me, going out together…”
“Yeah, it sounds like fun!” Shintaro grins at him, looking the same as if the
Bakaleya crew had asked him to play soccer after school. “I’ve wanted to try
that new takoyaki stand by the train station. Can we go there first? Then we
can do whatever you want to do, promise.”
Shori blinks as Shintaro gets called away. How is this his life? A week ago he
would have thought twice about even calling Shintaro a friend; now he’s going
on a date with him? What makes matters worse, Fuuma and Kento are all too happy
to share their worldly dating advice, which is not at all what Shori went to
them for.
“No matter what, you have to make sure he’s having a good time,” Kento says.
“Don’t worry about what you’re doing or what goes wrong—just focus on his
comfort and making him happy. If you get upset, it will sour the mood.”
“Keep the lighting dim,” Fuuma says. “Sit close, but not too close. Try to
reach for his hand under the table. If he doesn’t flinch, you can go for more.”
Shori doesn’t even get to share his actual concerns after Kento smacks Fuuma
for being a pervert and they bicker like an old married couple. He’s
facepalming so hard that he almost walks into the door on his way out, which is
naturally how Hokuto finds him.
“Nice job,” Hokuto says, in English, complete with a thumbs-up to complete the
ultimate douchebag package. “He’s talked about nothing else except your
upcoming date. I think the brat might actually like you!”
That last sentence keeps Shori awake at night, because the concept of having
someone actually like him is more terrifying than whatever stupid bet Hokuto is
trying to make with him. Shori would be a liar if he said he hadn’t been
thinking about their date too, but it was more along the lines of worrying
about where they’ll go and what they’ll talk about, and most importantly what
he will wear.
Luckily, Hokuto shows up an hour before Shori is supposed to leave to help
coordinate his ensemble. Shori doesn’t think his fashion sense is that bad, but
he puts on whatever Hokuto tells him just to get the older boy to shut up about
what may or may not happen once he and Shintaro are alone. Shori doesn’t know
much about relationships, but he knows that most people don’t give it up on the
first date even if they’ve been friends their whole lives, so he’s not too
concerned about that.
Then he sees Shintaro waiting at the takoyaki cart per their arrangement and
forgets everything he’s ever known. Shintaro isn’t even dressed up, just a T-
shirt and a pair of jeans that look like they were made to fit him just right.
Suddenly Shori feels like the female lead in every romantic drama ever and
wants to punch himself in the face for letting it get this far, because nothing
about this is what he had signed up for.
All anxiety aside, nothing could have prepared him for the way he feels when
Shintaro’s face lights up upon seeing him. Shori has seen this exact same
expression on fangirls all over the country, but seeing it on Shintaro right
now is completely different. Everything is perfect, nothing hurts, and nothing
else matters.
“I saved you one,” Shintaro says, proudly pointing to the one takoyaki left in
the package of eight, and Shori tries not to laugh as he happily accepts it.
“Is it good? It’s good, right?”
“It’s good,” Shori says, covering his mouth because he’s still trying to chew
through the octopus. “Thank you.”
Shintaro beams like he’d just been praised at work and salutes the vendor as he
hops off the stool. “Okay, we did what I wanted to do. I’m yours for the rest
of the day!”
Shori blinks at the choice of wording, then relaxes when he sees Shintaro’s
overeager and very innocent face grinning at him expectantly. Shintaro
certainly doesn’t have any lewd intentions here, so why should Shori be worried
about it? Screw Hokuto and his bet; Shori is going to have fun on his date.
Once he stops fixating on sex, Shori relaxes and actually starts to enjoy
himself. Kento’s advice had been harmless, at least, so Shori makes it a point
to ask Shintaro if he’s having a good time every so often and feels responsible
when Shintaro smiles and nods. They go to the mall to window shop, then loiter
around the arcade until a bunch of loud guys arrive and make it difficult for
them to hear each other.
Neither is too fussed about where they go, just the conversation they’re
having. Shori finds that he loves to listen to Shintaro tell stories about his
family, school, or the other juniors; he’s just so boisterous, gesturing with
his entire body, and Shori can’t help but get invested in whatever he’s saying.
Likewise, Shintaro listens intently when Shori tells him things and asks
thoughtful questions, albeit random and off-the-wall, which has Shori feeling
super important considering that most people usually scroll on their phone or
do other things while he talks.
“I had a lot of fun today,” Shori says as they approach the point where they’ll
head in different directions to go to their respective homes. “I really like
spending time with you.”
“I like spending time with you too,” Shintaro replies, his grin returning as he
stares right into Shori’s eyes. “Thanks for asking me out.”
Shori’s blood runs cold then, because every drama and movie ever made has
brainwashed him to believe that he should kiss Shintaro right now, but all
Shintaro does is flash him a goofy smile and wave before turning toward the
direction of his neighborhood. Shori stares after him until the broad
silhouette fades into the early evening, frustrated and confused and still so
high from their day together. He doesn’t know what is going on here, between
him and Shintaro or just with himself, and it’s driving him crazy.
The next week is a lot of emailing back and forth about trivial things that
Shori would tell anyone else. Neither Shori nor Shintaro are particularly
lonely people, since they both have rather large families and an entourage of
friends who always give them someone to talk to, but some force beyond Shori’s
control has him typing in Shintaro’s address whenever something happens. It
doesn’t even have to be anything interesting, just something cool he saw
outside or something dumb Hokuto had said in class.
Although he conveniently leaves out all of the dumb things Hokuto says
regarding Shintaro himself, which has Shori starting to get a little angry. He
knows if he doesn’t say something soon, he’ll end up blowing up and causing a
scene, so he gathers his courage and cuts Hokuto off right when the older boy
starts to go on about Shintaro’s virtue again.
“Listen, it bothers me that you talk about him like that,” Shori says, balling
his hands into fists to keep them from shaking. “He is a human being, not a
prize piece of meat to be devoured. I am honestly happy to spend time with
someone who has something to talk about other than sex, so while I will thank
you for pushing me to ask him out in the first place, I’d appreciate it if you
kept your comments to yourself from now on.”
Hokuto stares at him like he’d grown a second head, but thankfully the next
teacher arrives and Shori directs his attention toward the front of the room.
He learns more about calculus than he’d ever wanted to that period, though he
has to admit it’s nice to fully understand something for once. Shori enjoys
consistency in his life, and mathematics is something that never changes. Once
he figures it out, he can use the same formula every time. If only life were a
fraction as simple as that.
“Hokku said you yelled at him,” Shintaro tells him when they meet up after
school to walk to the studio together. With their conflicting schedules and
alternate paths home, they don’t get to do this very often, so Shori had been
pleased when Shintaro messaged him during lunch that he would wait for him.
Now Shori stops short, because it feels a bit like a fourth wall had been
knocked down between them and Shori has to actually address everything he’s
managed to keep out of their conversations thus far. “I didn’t yell at him.”
“I did,” Shintaro says, his voice even and calm like they were talking about
the weather or something equally as mundane. “He told me why he wanted you to
ask me out and I told him to mind his own fucking business.”
Shori watches Shintaro’s face, looking for any sign of hurt or disappointment
over the real reason Shori had asked him out, but there was nothing. “Are you
mad about the bet?”
He gets a snort in response. “No. Hokku’s into that stuff, so I expected it
from him.”
“And me?” Shori asks carefully. “I didn’t agree to it, you know.”
“I know.” Shintaro laughs. “If you had, you would have tried something by now,
right? I was actually really happy you hadn’t. It’s nice to talk to someone
without the topic always heading that way.”
“That’s what I said,” Shori says, a wave of relief washing over him. “It just
makes me feel weird, I don’t know. I like you and I’m attracted to you, I just
don’t understand any of it and I don’t want to rush into something I’m not
ready for.”
Shintaro’s smile is almost embarrassed, and Shori realizes too late what he’d
just said. “I like you too. You’re so smart and talented and somehow you manage
to stay focused when other guys our age get distracted. We’re a good pair,
don’t you think?”
“Did you just compliment yourself along with me?” Shori teases, but Shintaro
just shrugs. “Your confidence is admirable, Shin. I wish I was half as brave as
you are.”
“Aren’t you?” Shintaro asks. “Who asked who out here? Who told off his own
friend for disrespecting me? You’re braver than you give yourself credit for,
Shori. Not just anyone can be the center of a group such as yours.”
Shori thinks about that the rest of the way to the studio, and Shintaro leaves
him to his thoughts. Shintaro doesn’t seem to be affected by this conversation
at all, so carefree that Shori is jealous that he’s the one who has to analyze
everything while Shintaro can just accept things as they are. Maybe it really
is that simple, and Shori is the one who is thinking too much.
“You want to sleep over tonight?” Shintaro asks casually during a break that
weekend. “My mom made the most amazing curry yesterday and there are tons
left.”
“Only you would try to lure me with food,” Shori jokes, but Shintaro blinks at
him like he has no idea what Shori’s talking about. “Sure, I’d love to sleep
over.”
“Awesome.” Shintaro grins and Shori feels absolutely no anxiety about anything.
In a way, it’s just like sleeping over at a friend’s house, but Shori
definitely does not think of Shintaro as just a friend. He’s looking forward to
talking with Shintaro into the late night, maybe sharing some deep secrets and
fears in the dark, hearing Shintaro’s voice reassuring him and making him feel
invincible.
Mori-mama’s curry is just as amazing as advertised, leaving Shori pleasantly
full with a pudge in his belly when they roll out the guest futons. Shintaro
doesn’t give his bed a single glance as he flops onto one of the futons,
leaving Shori to stretch out on the other. He’s so comfortable that he doesn’t
flinch when he feels Shintaro curl up next to him, breath tickling his bare
arm.
“I’m starting to understand this whole attraction thing,” Shintaro says
quietly, and Shori can feel those eyes on him without looking. “I feel a pull
to be close to you right now.”
Shori feels something similar, but there is also an underlying panic that keeps
him from moving. “What does that mean?”
“Relax, I can hear your heartbeat from here,” Shintaro says, and Shori tries to
take a deep breath. “I’m not talking about sex, Shori. I don’t know anything
about that anyway, and I hate that it’s such a common thing that you can’t even
enjoy being with me like this without worrying that I’m going to jump you or
whatever.”
“I’m not worried about that,” Shori mutters defensively, frowning at Shintaro’s
ceiling. “If you want to…jump me, go ahead, I’m not scared.”
Shintaro doesn’t say anything at first, then Shori’s breath is knocked out of
him when Shintaro rolls on top of him, hovering over him without making any
physical contact. “You’re not scared, huh?”
“I’m not,” Shori says through gritted teeth, because he’s the older one here
even if Shintaro looks twice his age. “I’m nervous, sure, but I trust you to
make it okay.”
Shintaro’s face softens as he looks deep into Shori’s eyes, which feels
intimate in its own right, penetrating Shori’s soul in a way he hasn’t
experienced before. “I’m really happy that you trust me that much,” is all
Shintaro says.
Despite having Shintaro’s broad frame above him, Shori relaxes and smiles up at
the other boy. “You’re my boyfriend, right? We should trust each other.”
“Yeah, I’m your boyfriend,” Shintaro repeats, like he’s trying out the words on
his own tongue, and he seems to like the way they feel by the grin that takes
over his face. “I trust you to take care of me too, when we get there, but
tonight I just want to lie with you, just like this.”
“Oof,” Shori gasps as seventy kilograms of Shintaro crashes down on top of him,
arms and legs wrapping around him like a spider while Shintaro’s head nestles
onto his shoulder. Going from absolutely no contact to touching everywhere
possible at once makes Shori’s head spin, though that could also be from lack
of oxygen.
It feels nice in a way that Shori wouldn’t have expected, warm and safe with an
added sensation that Shori can’t quite define. He loops his own arms around
Shintaro’s shoulders and holds him close, their breaths and heartbeats
gradually slowing toward the same rhythm as Shori feels more comfortable than
he ever has before, even with Shintaro’s entire body weighing him down.
“Am I crushing you?” Shintaro whispers.
“A little,” Shori admits, his voice not even coming out all of the way, and
there’s a strange sense of loss when Shintaro rolls halfway off of him,
flinging one arm and one leg around him with his head resting on Shori’s chest.
Shori ends up turning toward Shintaro, his body seeking out that sensation that
feels so good, and now he’s the one with his face in Shintaro’s neck, legs
woven together as Shori pulls him as close as possible, craving body heat in
the dead of summer.
“I’m really happy with you,” Shori whispers.
“Me too,” Shintaro replies, squeezing Shori tighter, and it’s the best sleep
Shori has had in months.
Once that barrier between them had been broken, Shori finds himself yearning
for physical contact more and more. He’ll see Shintaro out of the corner of his
eye during rehearsal and feel that ache, channeling it into energy to dance his
ass off when even Miyachika Kaito is tired.
“Sexual frustration sucks, doesn’t it?” Hokuto hisses between formations,
earning a glare from Shori. “Hey, don’t give me that face. I’m not the one
holding out on you!”
“I am not sexually frustrated,” Shori grumbles. “You wouldn’t know what it’s
like to actually want to be with someone with clothes on, anyway.”
Hokuto frowns. “Apparently it makes you irritable, too. Go fuck him already.”
“Go fuck yourself,” Shori snaps back, pleased at how Hokuto’s eyes widen at his
uncharacteristic swearing. Smugly he returns to the choreography, determined to
get it right three more times before considering the routine mastered.
He’s still high-strung when he’s done showering later, pulling on his clothes
more roughly than he should and feeling like he could run several laps around
the entire building. He considers doing exactly that as he tosses the last of
his things into his bag and promptly gets pulled into an empty shower stall,
thankfully dry.
“What the—” he starts, then sees that it’s just Shintaro and breathes out a
sigh of relief. “Oh my god, Shin, I almost punched you.”
“If you want me, you can have me,” Shintaro says clearly, the words crawling
under Shori’s skin in a pleasantly disturbing way. “I don’t want to be the
reason you aren’t friends with Hokku anymore.”
“If I’m not gonna be friends with Hokku anymore, it’s because he’s a
presumptive asshole with a one track mind,” Shori blurts out, then bites his
lip sheepishly. “Sorry.”
“What’s with you?” Shintaro asks. He looks more concerned than agitated, which
is the only reason Shori doesn’t lash out at him. “You’re like a guitar string
that’s wound so tightly it’s about to break. Talk to me, Shori.”
“I don’t know what it is!” Shori explodes, but Shintaro doesn’t flinch at the
tone. “I can’t stop thinking about you, I want to be with you all the time, and
it pisses me off when Hokuto assumes it’s just because of my hormones, which
have nothing to do with anything because you mean so much more to me than that,
and—”
He’s abruptly stopped when big hands grab onto his face, followed by lips
pressing against his and all of Shori’s nerves seem to fizzle out at once, his
excess of energy fading to nothing but tingles and warmth. It takes Shori a
second to comprehend that he’s actually being kissed, grabbing onto Shintaro’s
arms and reciprocating before the other boy can pull away, and Shintaro’s hands
drop to Shori’s waist to bring them closer together.
It’s so mind-blowing that Shori forgets to breathe, his brain forcing them
apart when it can’t go any longer without oxygen. He can’t quite think clearly
yet, moving based on his instincts to cling onto Shintaro, not entirely for
balance, smiling when Shintaro embraces him back.
“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone,” Shintaro says into his hair,
shaking a little himself. “Even if we do it now, it’s not going to change
anything between us, right?”
“What?” Shori asks, his head still clouded by the feeling of Shintaro’s lips on
his. “What are you talking about?”
“Sex,” Shintaro answers, and Shori twitches. “You think of it as this evil
thing that people like Hokku use as popularity points, but it’s really up to us
how we decide to look at it. All pretenses aside, isn’t it just another way to
be close to someone?”
Shori tries to focus on the words prickling his scalp, but he’s not having much
luck. “I can’t think after what just happened, Shin. Can we talk about this
later?”
Shintaro’s laugh vibrates his whole body. “If just a kiss does this to you,
imagine what it would be like if I actually touched you.”
“Shintaro,” Shori breathes, shuddering at the thought. “Why are you talking
like this? I thought we were going to be together without fixating on that one
thing everyone else seems to think is so important.”
“I’m not saying it’s important,” Shintaro says gently. “I’m just saying that if
you want to do it and I want to do it, we shouldn’t just not do it because of
what other people think.”
Shori blinks as he pulls back enough to look up at Shintaro. “You want to?”
“Well, not here,” Shintaro answers, making a face as he looks around the shower
stall. “But I think about being like that with you, yes. It feels right.”
Shori almost laughs, because of course all that matters to Morimoto Shintaro is
that something just feels right, but all he does is give a firm nod. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?” Shintaro prods. “I don’t want to force you to do anything you
don’t want to do, Shori. If you’re not into it, it won’t be good.”
“Haven’t the tables turned here?” Shori wonders out loud. “A month ago I was
worrying about moving too fast with you, and now you’re the one assuring me.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you worry too much?” Shintaro asks.
Shori grins. “All the time. Now kiss me again before I worry some more.”
It’s like a scene right out of a drama, but Shori feels just as detached from
reality as Shintaro swoops in on him again, their mouths moving more
confidently against each other the second time around. Shori stretches up to
wrap his arms around Shintaro’s neck, fingers twisting in his hair and Shintaro
tightens his grip on Shori’s small body, holding him firmly as their kiss
deepens.
That night Shori pushes away his inhibitions and really thinks about it, being
sexually intimate with Shintaro who trusts him enough to give him that first,
and he bites a good-sized mark into his arm to keep from crying out at the
intense pleasure. He can’t keep his hand off of himself, stroking slowly and
pretending it’s Shintaro touching him, his body arching into his own touch
until he comes so hard that it takes a few minutes to be conscious again.
He picks up his phone, intending to send a short mail to Shintaro along the
lines of “I think I’m ready,” but he can’t focus on the keypad and ends up
pressing the call button by mistake.
“Shori?” Shintaro answers, sounding tired. “Is everything okay? It’s two in the
morning.”
“Yeah, sorry, I was just going to email you…” Shori says too fast, his words in
time with his recovering heartbeat.
“You sound like you just ran a marathon,” Shintaro tells him. “Are you sure
you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I just…” Shori trails off as he tries to think of the right words to
say, then gives up. “I just thought about it.”
“Thought about what?”
“Having sex with you.”
Silence. Shori curses himself for doing this over the phone, because he can’t
see Shintaro’s face and has no idea how he’s going to react to this piece of
information until— “I guess it went well? Your voice sounds very nice right
now.”
“Yeah,” Shori says for the third time. “It felt really good.”
“So we’re gonna do it then?” Shintaro makes a noise like a deflated balloon.
“I’m kinda excited, you know? Like we’re about to go skydiving or something
equally as thrilling.”
“That’s an…interesting way of putting it,” Shori thinks out loud, yawning into
the phone as he stretches out on his bed. “Should we talk about it? I mean, I
probably don’t know anymore than you do, but—”
“I watched a movie,” Shintaro interrupts him. “With guys, I mean. I tried
asking Juri, but he got all quiet and slipped me a DVD the next day. And they
call me the weird one!”
“I don’t think I could ask anyone I know,” Shori says as he realizes it
himself. “They’d either be creeped out or all ‘I told you so’ about it.”
“It doesn’t look too complicated,” Shintaro tells him. “If you use a lot of
lube and prepare well enough, it’s not supposed to hurt.”
“Do you…” Shori starts, this time stalling to bring himself to ask the
question. “Do you want to do it to me, or should I do it to you?”
“I don’t know,” Shintaro answers. “If you don’t have a preference, I’m okay
with you doing it to me, since you’re older and all.”
“Actually,” Shori finds himself saying, now glad for the phone since he’s
positive his face is burning, “I think I want you to do it to me.”
“Did you try it that way?” Shintaro asks suddenly. “I mean, just now. When you
were thinking about it.”
“I didn’t,” Shori admits, squirming at the thought of touching himself there.
“I don’t think I could do that.”
“How do you know you’ll like it if I do it?”
Shori can’t find the words to describe the feeling he gets when he thinks about
it, so he just flings his arm over his face to make it easier to say, “I think
I’ll like anything you do to me.”
“Damn, Shori, saying that to me in your voice right now is really hot,”
Shintaro says, his own voice getting lower as well. “If you keep talking like
that, I’ll have to let you go so I can think about it too.”
“You don’t have to hang up,” Shori rushes to say, then backpedals. “I mean…”
“I will absolutely do it on the phone with you,” Shintaro says. “Your fucking
voice alone is almost enough to get me off.”
“Shintaro…”
“If you keep saying my name it’ll happen faster,” Shintaro tells him. “Are you
sure this is okay? I can’t tell if you’re into it or not.”
“Oh, I’m into it,” Shori assures him, his body reawakening at the prospect of
listening to Shintaro touch himself because of Shori. “I’m just trying to gear
myself up to do it too.”
“Oh my god, this feels so different with you listening,” Shintaro breathes, and
arousal soars through Shori’s veins because Shintaro’s already doing it, his
faint puffs of air tickling Shori’s ear. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t
want to. Knowing you did it just before you called me and hearing your voice
afterward is good enough.”
“Maybe I’ll…” Shori pauses to look around his nightstand. “Maybe I’ll try it
that other way, just to see if it’s easier with you moaning in my ear.”
“I’m not moaning yet,” Shintaro points out, and Shori rolls his eyes until his
entire body is rocked by a low noise that had to have been deliberately pressed
into the mouthpiece. “Now I am.”
“Brat,” Shori says affectionately, but the lightened atmosphere between them
makes it easier to reach for a jar he keeps around for dry skin. “Do you think
Vaseline is okay?”
“I honestly have no idea,” Shintaro pants into the phone. “I can steal some
real lube from my brother the next time you come over.”
“That doesn’t help me now,” Shori whines, his frustration replacing his
embarrassment as he kicks off his pants and underwear and finds himself already
rock hard again. “Shin, I really like hearing you like this. It makes
it—ah—easier to do it too.”
He gets another moan in response, which has him jerking himself shamelessly as
his other hand hesitates on the open jar of Vaseline. “Are you doing it yet,
Shori? Tell me how it feels.”
“Not yet,” Shori admits, dipping his fingers into the substance and biting his
lip as he places his hand between his legs. “Gonna try now. Talk me through
it?”
“I don’t know what to say,” Shintaro tells him. “Pretend it’s me? My fingers,
slowly pushing inside you, opening you up for me…fuck, I’m close.”
“Wait,” Shori gasps, trying to keep up with Shintaro’s filthy tone, but he
can’t even make contact with his rim without jumping. “Slow down. I’m not
even…in yet.”
Shintaro’s next noise is a whine, but there are more spaces between his breaths
and Shori doesn’t feel as rushed. “I really wish I could see you right now.”
“I’m glad you can’t see me right now,” Shori mutters as he lifts his knees to
his chest to spread himself open for his own probing touch. “I feel like a
pretzel.”
“Gently, Shori,” Shintaro goes on, his voice still laced with breaths but
soothing nonetheless. “Relax and let me in. I really want to feel you inside.”
“Shit,” Shori hisses, his body reacting to the dirty words and sucking his
finger inside, muscles clamping down tightly in protest. “Oh my god, Shin.”
“It’s supposed to feel really good if you can reach your prostate,” Shintaro
goes on. “At least that’s what the internet says. I couldn’t do it myself,
though it felt like I could if I could just get deeper. Do you feel anything
yet?”
“I can’t even focus on what you’re saying,” Shori tells him honestly. He’d
missed the last half of Shintaro’s monologue, the low timbres helping him get
his whole finger inside himself, swirling it around enough to wedge in another.
“Just keep talking, please.”
“I want you so badly,” Shintaro says, and Shori hears that loud and clear. “I
want to feel what you’re feeling, hear those noises right in my ear instead of
over the phone, watch your face as you come—”
Shori cuts him off with a moan that would be much louder if he wasn’t biting
his lip, not wanting his mother to worry that he was hurt and find him like
this. He’s got both fingers inside now, moving in and out like it was something
else, and it feels good because he’s pretending it’s Shintaro, that weight on
him once again as Shintaro pushes in and out, fucking him hard and fast like
he’s doing to himself.
“Shin…” he gets out, phone falling to the bed as his head jerks from side to
side. Instead of reaching for it, he wraps his other hand around his cock and
strokes in time with his other ministrations. “Shin, I’m gonna come.”
He vaguely registers some garbled noises coming from the phone, but he’s
already too far gone. His body squeezes around his fingers as he spills over
his other hand, orgasm surging through him more powerfully than even a few
moments ago.
Once again he grabs for the phone as soon as he can function, only to find
Shintaro breathing heavily. “Did you finish? Did I miss it?”
“You jerk, you weren’t listening?” Shintaro grumbles, followed by a long groan
that sounds like he’s stretching out on his own bed, completely satisfied. “I’m
not doing that again until I have the house to myself. I don’t want to think
about the looks I’m going to get tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry,” Shori says.
“None of that,” Shintaro tells him. “It’s as much my fault as yours. Did it
feel good, though? You sure sounded like it did.”
“I didn’t find that spot, but…” Shori pauses to take a deep breath, igniting
the tingles that remain from such an intense orgasm. “I pretended it was you
inside of me and it made it so much better.”
“Soon,” Shintaro promises. “Except not for the next week because I have exams.
And you have concerts.”
“I have a concert later today, actually,” Shori mutters, cringing at the time
on the clock. “I’m gonna go, okay? Good luck on your tests.”
“Good luck on your concerts!” Shintaro replies, and they hang up.
Shori distracts himself by cleaning up as well as he can without actually
leaving his room, trying not to think about what just happened. He becomes
grateful for such a late hour when he falls promptly to sleep, returning to his
busy life of school and work and emailing Shintaro whenever he has a chance.
“You look considerably happier,” Hokuto comments later that week, holding up
his hands in mock surrender when Shori turns to glare at him. “Before you snap
at me, I want to apologize.”
“For what?” Shori asks, refusing to let his guard down just yet.
“For making such a big deal out of your thing with Shintaro,” Hokuto answers.
“You two seem to be happy together, so who am I to criticize your choices? For
what it’s worth, I’m glad that you two are on the same page. I’m sorry I tried
to force my values onto you.”
Shori stares at him. “Who yelled at you?”
“Kento,” Hokuto admits. “I got this big lecture about how everybody views sex
differently and it’s not the sole indicator of a relationship and/or intimacy.”
He takes a deep breath. “I don’t understand it myself, but I guess I don’t have
to. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“That’s actually nice,” Shori says, giving in like he always does. “I forgive
you.”
“So what do you do instead, then?” Hokuto asks, looking genuinely curious as he
whispers over their books.
“What?” Shori asks, confused.
“Instead of sex,” Hokuto explains. “What do you do to satisfy that craving for
intimacy?”
“We email a lot?” Shori guesses, still not sure what answer Hokuto is looking
for. He doesn’t really consider what he and Shintaro did on the phone the other
night intimacy so much as working off hormones. At the moment he’d still rather
just spend time with Shintaro than touch him. “It makes me happy when I’m the
first one he tells about something that happened, or a story he wants to share,
or something random that has popped into his head. The fact that he messages me
at all shows that he’s thinking about me when I’m not around.”
“But I email my friends all the time,” Hokuto says. “What do you do when you’re
together?”
“We hug…and kiss,” Shori tells him, not liking the way Hokuto’s face lights up
upon hearing that. “It’s not like that, though. That day I was really anxious,
he kissed me to calm me down. It wasn’t hormones like you said. Stop trying to
make me similar to you!”
Hokuto’s face falls, his frown evident as he sits up straight at his own desk.
“I’m sorry I don’t understand how you can actually have a relationship without
sex. Eventually one of you is going to want it, because it’s human nature.”
“Maybe,” Shori hisses back, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not a relationship
without it!”
Hokuto doesn’t respond, and that’s probably for the best since Shori’s getting
pretty riled up about it. The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets, to
the point where he’s working out twice as hard at the gym with Kento just to
blow off steam. Kento makes it until Shori is huffing on the weight bench
before snatching away the barbells and sitting him down.
“Matsumura Hokuto is a sexual deviant,” Kento says clearly, looking right into
Shori’s eyes like the force of his stare will calm him down. “Just like you
don’t understand him, he doesn’t understand you, and you can’t let that ruin
your friendship. You two don’t have to go to bed with each other, after all.”
“Thank god for that,” Shori mutters. “We wouldn’t last five minutes before he’d
try to touch me and I’d feel pressured.”
“Does Shintaro pressure you?” Kento asks carefully.
“Not at all,” Shori answers, feeling a bit like he’s being interrogated for
improper conduct amongst agency members. “We’ve talked about it, somewhat
explicitly, but if we do it at all, it won’t be because we have to.”
“No, of course not,” Kento agrees, and Shori relaxes considerably. “I know you
don’t want to hear about this, but Fuuma and I used to hump like bunnies back
when we first got together.”
Shori wrinkles his nose. “You’re right, I didn’t want to know that.”
“But as time went on, we did it less and less because we just enjoyed each
other’s company, in and out of bed.” Kento smiles. “Do you see the
distinction?”
“Not really,” Shori answers. “Sex is still an integral part of your
relationship.”
“Was,” Kento corrects. “Now we do it maybe once every couple of months, if we
happen to have a hotel room to ourselves and the mood strikes us. Once when he
was away filming, we did it over the phone, and you have no idea how hot it is
when all you have is his voice to get you off.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea,” Shori says, and Kento raises an eyebrow.
“But you’re telling me that now you can just be together without doing it or
wanting to do it all the time?”
“Sex is just one way that people can feel close,” Kento says. “As your
relationship progresses, you learn other ways to fill that void. Sometimes it’s
just enough to cuddle together in bed before going to sleep. Other times it’s a
deep conversation about thoughts and feelings. I still remember when Fuuma got
into Keio, I have never loved him more than when he attributed it to me and how
I helped him out while he was studying for his placement tests—which, by the
way, included absolutely no sex, because that was the worst distraction.”
Shori laughs. “But then you went away for the weekend and came back limping.”
“Yes, well, Fuuma’s a sexual deviant too,” Kento says fondly. “But now he
understands that there’s more to a relationship than just that, which is what
I’m trying to explain to you. Even if you never become physically intimate with
Shintaro, that doesn’t make your relationship any less valid. To be honest, I’d
be hard-pressed to call anything Hokuto’s had with anyone an actual
relationship, but I don’t really understand him either.”
“Thanks, Kento,” Shori says gratefully, feeling better than he has in weeks. “I
think I’m gonna do it, though. I just don’t like Hokuto to be right.”
“He’s not right,” Kento tells him firmly. “Nobody can dictate your feelings
except you. As long as both you and Shintaro are happy, it doesn’t matter what
you do or don’t do behind closed doors.”
Shori just nods and heads to the showers. He’s done working out for today,
physically and mentally.
The next time he actually sees Shintaro, it’s been so long that he just falls
into the other boy’s arms and clings until they’re torn apart by other juniors.
Shori would feel totally lame if Shintaro wasn’t holding on just as tightly,
young lovers kept apart by the cruel world or something equally as poetic that
has Shori grinning at its ridiculousness as he tries to walk a comfortable
distance next to Shintaro without making it obvious to everyone in the studio
that they’re having a thing.
His face probably gives it all away anyway, because he’s positively beaming
just standing next to him and hearing him talk. Shintaro isn’t talking to
Shori, but that’s okay. Shori’s only a little jealous that he has to share
Shintaro with other people after going two entire weeks with just emails and a
couple phone conversations to get him by, but they still have a job to do. If
it wasn’t for Shounen Club, their paths might not cross at all, and then they’d
see each other even less.
“Sleep over tonight,” Shori hisses before he returns to his group.
Shintaro conspicuously leans over to whisper in Shori’s ear. “Are we gonna do
it? Because I haven’t stolen the stuff from Ryuutaro yet.”
“I don’t care if we do it or not,” Shori mutters, shuddering at the closeness
he can’t act upon in public. “I just want to be alone with you.”
“Me too, so much,” Shintaro replies, and Shori’s nerves flutter with a pleasure
he hasn’t felt in a while. “I’ll meet you in the dressing room.”
Shori feels like it’s their first date all over again as he sits and waits,
freshly showered since his group was done rehearsing before the juniors. He
waves at the others as they trickle in, seeming to pay no attention to the fact
that Shori’s still there, calmly listening to music on his iPod while the
juniors take turns in the shower and Shintaro horses around with the other
Bakaleya boys as usual.
Shori must have fallen asleep, because someone tugs on his headphone wires and
he peeks open an eye to see Shintaro wrapped in a towel, dripping in front of
him. “You’re cute when you’re sleeping, you know.”
“And you’re hot when you’re wet,” Shori mumbles without thinking, his head
rolling back to lean against the lockers. It looks like they’re the last ones
there, no doubt because Shintaro takes longer showers than anyone else. “Don’t
you know how to dry off properly?”
“And pass up the opportunity to seduce my sleepy boyfriend? Never.”
Shori yawns. “Put your clothes on so we can go.”
Shintaro rolls his eyes but follows directions without complaint, though Shori
sees his words backfiring as the sight of Shintaro hopping into his jeans has
the reverse effect he was looking for.
“To hell with it,” he mutters under his breath, tossing his iPod into his bag
as he gets to his feet and closes the distance between him. Shintaro is
unsuspecting enough to be spun around, back hitting the locker as Shori presses
him against it, several centimeters shorter but much more certain of his
actions, finally.
“Your eyes are scary,” is all Shintaro says, making no effort to resist Shori’s
manhandling.
“Tell me to stop,” Shori demands.
Shintaro scoffs. “Why the fuck would I do that?”
It’s a joint effort, mouths crashing together as Shori’s hands find Shintaro’s
wet hair and guide him down. This kiss is nothing like the last one they’d
shared, coincidentally just a few feet away in the shower stall; this one has
an end goal, one that’s helped along by Shori’s body pressing Shintaro’s into
the locker.
Someone moans into the kiss, and Shori belatedly realizes it’s him as he feels
Shintaro harden against his thigh, those big hands dropping to Shori’s hips to
pull him closer. Shori’s own hands can’t seem to find purchase on anything,
Shintaro’s shoulders nor his arms nor his back; none of it feels right at the
moment. He’s so overcome by the hormones he’s finally giving into that he can’t
focus on much else, just the desire growing between them.
Shintaro’s hands slip under Shori’s shirt and Shori gasps at the touch, rocking
closer until he’s practically humping Shintaro into the locker. Shintaro’s
groan tickles his tongue and it takes him even higher, making him forget where
they are or even what day it is as all that matters is Shintaro, kissing him
and touching him, feeling his muscles underneath his clothes and everything
Shori feels grinding against him.
“Shori,” Shintaro breathes into their kiss, neither one letting up to speak
properly. “Let’s—go—over there.”
Shori just nods, trusting Shintaro to move them both without incident, although
he wrinkles his nose when he smells the fresh scent of the shower. “Really?”
“Do you want someone walking in on us?” Shintaro hisses. “Besides, I already
told you we’re not doing it in here.”
“What are we doing then?!” Shori asks, willing himself to calm down if nothing
is going to happen.
“Oh, we’re gonna do something,” Shintaro assures him. “Just not that.”
The wall is still wet, but Shori couldn’t care less as Shintaro presses him
into it, strong and hard and so unbelievably intense that all Shori can do is
push back, finding his own friction that feels even better with Shintaro
kissing him so deeply, completely succumbing to the younger boy’s control.
“Touch me,” he whines, not even thinking about being ashamed as all he can
think about is Shintaro’s hand in his pants. “Shin, please.”
“Me too,” Shintaro agrees, and the next couple seconds are full of awkward
fumbling as they try to get each other’s pants open in a very humid shower
stall. Shori makes it first, amazed at how it feels to hold someone else’s cock
in his hand, knowing that Shintaro’s noises are directly because of him as he
curls his fingers and squeezes as he moves up and down.
Shintaro only falters a little and Shori’s arousal spikes the instant
Shintaro’s big hand is touching him, getting a good grip before fisting so fast
that he can hardly keep up. “Fuck, that feels good,” Shori gets out. “Don’t
stop.”
“Wasn’t planning on it,” Shintaro says, hips snapping into Shori’s hand that
clearly isn’t going fast enough for him. Shori doubles his efforts and has
Shintaro panting into his mouth, their kiss now serving as a method of
silencing more than anything else, and Shori makes it another couple seconds
before orgasm wracks his entire body and leaves him jerking and clinging to
Shintaro as he comes.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” Shintaro chants, and Shori struggles to keep his hand
moving until Shintaro shudders and sputters over his fingers. They take a deep
breath together, slumping to the bottom of the shower stall because Shori can’t
hold both of them up, leaving them both soaked and messy but that’s okay
because they all keep extra clothes here.
Neither one is quick to get up, though, and it’s Shori who grabs Shintaro by
the hair and crushes their mouths together again, feeling more indescribable
things than anytime they’ve kissed before, and Shori thinks that maybe there’s
a benefit to being sexual after all, because the aftermath feels great.
They don’t dare take another shower, since staff-san is bound to wonder why
there are still idols here long after everyone else left, but Shori’s parents
don’t bat an eyelash when Shori loudly announces that he and Shintaro will
share a bath to save water.
“I am pretty sure you are fooling no one,” Shintaro says as they fill up the
tub. “Just so you know.”
Shori laughs. “You’d be surprised how much my parents don’t pay attention to
what I do. Perks of being the youngest.”
“My baby sister is the youngest and she’s not sneaking any dudes into the
bath,” Shintaro mutters, cringing at the thought.
“What about other girls?” Shori asks, and Shintaro’s face goes blank like he’d
never considered that possibility. “Don’t think too hard about it.”
Shintaro still looks like he’d been hit upside the head with a shovel even when
the tub is filled and Shori pulls his own shirt over his head. It feels weird
stripping front of Shintaro, even though they’d had their hands in each other’s
pants not one hour ago, and Shintaro isn’t paying attention anyway. Shori sighs
and reaches for Shintaro’s shirt, pushing it up on a whim. He’s surprised when
Shintaro just lifts his arms, like someone undresses him every day, except his
eyes are on Shori once the fabric is over his head, that soul-burning stare
back again.
“Sorry,” Shori says quickly. “You were spaced out and the water will get cold.”
“It’s okay,” Shintaro tells him, his voice suddenly gentle. “Anything you do to
me is okay.”
“Oh yeah?” Shori asks, feeling his face heat up because they’re not on the
phone this time and he can’t hide behind his arm. He busies himself by
unfastening Shintaro’s pants, admiring Shintaro’s complete lack of modesty even
as Shori takes off the rest of his clothes, which Shori makes up for by biting
his lip when Shintaro returns the favor.
Shori rushes to get into the tub first, which does nothing to lessen his nudity
but keeps his knees from shaking. Shintaro sits down beside him, nudging him
with an elbow, and Shori can’t stop from smiling as he elbows back. He’s not
sure who does it first, but their fingers lace together and Shori feels
naughtier than if he was actually doing something scandalous in his family’s
bathtub.
“Do you still want to have sex tonight?” Shintaro asks casually.
“I don’t know,” Shori answers, unbothered by the topic anymore. “It feels like
we already did, even though I know we didn’t.”
Shintaro breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. I really didn’t want to do it
until I could raid Ryuu’s stash. I don’t want to hurt you, you know.”
“I appreciate that,” Shori says, leaning his head to the side. Shintaro’s arm
is just as comfortable bare as it is clothed, combined with the warmth of the
tub to relax Shori even more after a hard day. “Do you think it’s weird that we
have like zero desire to do it?”
“Not really,” Shintaro answers. “I’ve never seen what the big deal is myself.
Hokku acts like it’s the meaning of life, but I’m pretty sure there’s more to
life than sticking my dick inside someone.”
“When you put it like that…” Shori laughs as he trails off. “Sometimes I feel
like I want to do it, though.”
“Oh, me too,” Shintaro replies. “I just don’t see why I have to do it to show
that I like someone. You’re the first one who hasn’t tried to pressure me into
it, and you just accosted me in the Shounen Club dressing room.”
“Sorry about that,” Shori mumbles, but Shintaro shakes his head.
“No, that’s my point. We didn’t have sex and it was still good.” Shintaro turns
his head to nuzzle Shori’s hair. “I actually want to do it with you because it
will be more of a fun time than a testament of our feelings or whatever.”
“I know what you mean,” Shori says, and he really does. “I want to do it with
you because you don’t think it’s a big deal and won’t be disappointed if I
don’t go through with it.”
“I don’t think it’s possible for you to disappoint me,” Shintaro tells him, and
Shori feels even warmer. “Can I try something?”
“Here?” Shori asks, eyes widening.
“Nothing bad, I promise,” Shintaro says. “If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”
“Okay…” Shori agrees, bracing himself for whatever Shintaro has in mind. “Go
ahead.”
“Close your eyes.”
It’s a credit to how comfortable he is and how much he trusts Shintaro that he
just does as he’s told. Nothing happens for the first couple of seconds, then
he feels the lightest touch on his arm that has him jerking so hard that he
upsets the water.
“Sorry,” Shintaro breathes, his voice even more enticing when Shori can’t see
anything. “I won’t do it again.”
“No, it’s okay,” Shori says, inhaling sharply as he extends his arm above the
water. “I was just surprised. I’m ready now.”
Shintaro doesn’t say anything, but the touch returns, light and slow as it
traces up and down Shori’s arm. It feels so nice, pleasantly arousing, making
his skin buzz all over. Shintaro moves to the inside of Shori’s arm and Shori
gasps, the resulting jolt of electricity going right to his toes.
“Feels good,” he mumbles, because it really, really does. He never wants
Shintaro to stop doing this, even after they get out of the bath, when his
fingers are pruned and the grooves feel even better against his skin.
Then those fingers move up to his throat and Shori’s head automatically tilts
back to accommodate, his mouth parting to exhale as Shintaro traces the bump of
his adam’s apple and along the line of his jaw. It’s erotic in its own right,
but Shori doesn’t feel any sexual urgency, just yearning for more of exactly
this, just this.
“I really want to kiss you,” Shintaro says, and that’s okay too.
Shori is the one who reaches out for Shintaro, blindly following his arm up to
his hair to pull him in, and this kiss is so slow and sweet that Shori melts
into it, curling toward Shintaro and holding him as close as he dares. Only
this time his hands don’t stay still, feeling for himself the muscles of
Shintaro’s arms and back, drifting down his sides to where Shori can actually
squeeze flesh. Shintaro makes a small whine and Shori moves his hands back up,
appreciating Shintaro’s broad chest before returning to his shoulders.
“We should get out,” Shori whispers the next time he can think, and Shintaro
nods without pulling away from Shori’s mouth.
Ten minutes later they actually drain the tub, reluctantly drying off and
dressing in night clothes before retreating to Shori’s room. Shori hadn’t even
bothered with the futons, leaving more than enough room in his bed for Shintaro
to join him, and they kiss lazily until Shori absolutely cannot stay awake
anymore, falling asleep in strong arms and not devoting a single thought to
what will happen if his mother comes to wake them up in the morning.
No one wakes them up, though it’s still early when Shori starts to stir. It
takes him a second to realize why he’s being squished like a human teddy bear,
then remembers who he went to bed with and smiles. He could certainly get used
to this, except that they probably won’t have many opportunities to sleep
together from here on. Shori has to start studying for his university entrance
exams, which won’t leave him much time to sleep at all, let alone with anyone
else.
“You’re running out of time,” Hokuto whispers during lit class.
“What are you even talking about?” Shori asks crossly, way too stressed out for
Hokuto’s shit, sexual deviant or not.
“You’ll be eighteen soon,” Hokuto tells him. “It’ll be illegal.”
Shori rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure it’s not against the law for an
eighteen-year-old and a seventeen-year-old to date.”
“Date, yes, but you won’t be able to touch him until next summer.”
“I think I’ll make it,” Shori says sarcastically, trying not to focus on the
truth of Hokuto’s statement. He’s pretty sure the consent laws don’t include
telephone conversations anyway, though he’s been way too exhausted to do
anymore than catch up on each other’s business lately. The last time they tried
to mess around on the phone, Shori fell asleep as soon as he came and woke up
feeling really gross.
As his birthday gets closer, he starts wondering if he should try to do it
soon. There hasn’t really been a good time since that night he had Shintaro
sleep over, but when will there ever be a good time? They’re both idols and
students, already balancing family and friends and miraculously seeming to find
time for each other. And the last thing Shori wants is to get arrested for
something that’s not even that important to begin with.
He’s lost in his thoughts when he’s yanked into a storage closet at a Popolo
shoot by someone who is definitely not Shintaro. “Let me go, I’m seeing
someone—”
“I know that,” hisses a familiar voice. “That’s why I pulled you in here.”
“Juri?” Shori asks, turning around to find Shintaro’s best friend giving him an
unimpressed look. “What is this about?”
“Listen, I know you’ve been busy lately, but you need to understand that that
kid is in love with you.”
Shori’s heart drops into his stomach. “What?”
“He misses you so much, but he refuses to bother you when you’re studying.”
Juri huffs like that’s the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. “It would make his
life to hear your voice for just five minutes every couple of days, you know.”
“I’m sorry,” Shori says, guilt flooding him. “I’m not good at this boyfriend
thing.”
“Don’t tell Fuuma I threatened you,” Juri starts, “but I will actually kick
your ass if you hurt him.”
“I would never hurt him,” Shori says quietly. “I don’t know what it means to be
in love, but I like the way I feel when I’m with him. Even when we can’t be
together, just knowing I’m with him makes me so, so happy.”
Juri eyes him like he’s running the words through a bullshit detector, which
Shori must pass because Juri takes a deep breath and looks considerably less
menacing. “He didn’t tell you about us, did he?”
“What?” Shori asks. “You and him?”
“We dated last year.” Juri smiles like it’s a fond memory, and Shori doesn’t
know whether to be sad or jealous. “Or tried to, I should say. It didn’t last
very long because, well, you know how he is.”
Shori blinks, feeling a surge of rage that he barely manages to hold down. “And
how exactly is he?”
“Certainly by now you have to know that he doesn’t like anyone to touch him,
right?” Juri asks, ignoring Shori’s narrowed eyes in favor of his own
disbelief. “It got to the point where it actually upset me to be around him,
because he would wince every time I reached out to him. No matter how much I
tried to make him comfortable, he didn’t like it.”
“You could have stopped trying,” Shori says pointedly. “I bet you creeped him
out.”
Juri kind of looks like he wants to punch Shori in the face, but all he does is
nod and sigh. “You’re probably right, but that’s something I need in a
relationship, you know? It’s just how I am.”
That rage starts to boil again. “Maybe you should hook up with Hokuto, then.”
“Been there, done that,” Juri scoffs. “Shin will always be special to me, okay,
and all I want is for him to be happy. He seems to be happy with you, so please
be good to him. Please.”
Juri starts to lower his head and Shori just gapes at him. “Weren’t you just
threatening to beat me up two minutes ago?”
“Oh, I’ll still do that,” Juri says, lifting his head to give Shori a hard
stare. “If I hear that you’ve pressured him at all—”
“Like you did?” Shori challenges, and Juri backs down.
“Don’t be like me,” Juri says softly. “I regret that more than anything else in
my entire life, but I can’t change the way I am. He’s actually thinking about
doing it with you, you know. Because you don’t expect it from him. I just don’t
want it to be something that you come to expect from him.”
“Funny, I had the same concerns,” Shori mutters. “Will you please excuse me
now? I need to go talk to him.”
“That’s a good idea,” Juri says, then points from both of his eyes to Shori.
“Remember, I’m watching you.”
“I’m shaking in my boots,” Shori deadpans before turning to let himself out of
the closet. Honestly, Juri kind of scares him, but he doesn’t plan on doing
anything to warrant the older boy’s wrath. Shori would be the last person on
earth to force anyone to do anything, especially that. That day in the locker
room had been purely Shintaro’s doing; if Shintaro had told him to stop he
would have, and probably felt awful about it. Even on the phone, Shintaro’s
into it as much as Shori is, or Shori wouldn’t be into it at all.
“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Shori mutters as he finds Shintaro in
a shower stall after rehearsal. He’s actually showering and the other juniors
are still around, but nobody really thinks twice about Shori ducking behind a
closed curtain fully dressed.
“What’s up?” Shintaro asks, appearing unbothered at the interruption. He
actually looks pleased to see Shori, since it’s been three weeks since they’ve
even worked together. “You look taller.”
“I grew a bit,” Shori admits, trying not to look too smug. Shintaro’s still
bigger than him, but Shori looks forward to matching him someday. “So Juri just
lectured me in a storage closet.”
It comes out more abrasive than he’d intended, but that’s probably because he’s
a little burned that he had to find out about Shintaro’s past relationships
from the ex-boyfriend himself. Shintaro’s face falls at the mention of Juri’s
name, nearly splashing Shori with how fast he waves his hands dismissively.
“I told him to leave you alone! He’s just worried about me. I hope he didn’t
say anything to upset you. I’ll be really mad at him if he did.”
“He told me you two used to date,” Shori says evenly, and Shintaro pauses mid-
wave. “He told me why it didn’t work out.”
“Are you upset?” Shintaro asks, looking like he’s bracing himself for a
scolding from his mother. “I wanted to tell you, but there was never a good
time.”
“I just…I thought I was your first,” Shori mumbles, staring at the tile. “For
everything.”
“I’m sorry you weren’t my first kiss,” Shintaro tells him. “What we did in here
before, that wasn’t my first time either. But that’s it, I swear. I’ve never
done anything like what we did on the phone—”
“Why do you let me touch you?” Shori asks, uncovering the root of his
discomfort with the situation. “Juri is your best friend and you wouldn’t let
him get near you. Why me? You barely knew me before we got together.”
Shintaro sucks his lips into his mouth, folding his arms around his middle
under the water spray. “You like me more than that.”
“I do,” Shori says, pushing his bangs out of his face when they start to stick
to his skin. “But how do you know that after we do it, I won’t need it the same
way everyone else does?”
“I don’t know that,” Shintaro tells him, reaching for the faucet to turn off
the water. Instead of handing him the towel, Shori just starts drying him off,
and Shintaro doesn’t flinch at the contact at all. “Just like I don’t know if I
will.”
Shori squeezes the excess water out of Shintaro’s hair and looks right into his
eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t do it, then.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know what I want.” Shori sighs. “I just know I want to be with you.”
Shintaro smiles. “I want to be with you too.”
Shori’s clothes get soaked, but it’s not the first time as he pulls Shintaro
into his arms and hugs him tightly. The situation calls for a kiss, but Shori’s
content with leaning their foreheads together, feeling Shintaro’s breath on his
cheek as their noses touch.
“I miss you,” Shintaro whispers.
Shori laughs. “Juri said that too. It’s nice to hear it from you, though.”
“I don’t care if you study the whole night, but please sleep over sometime
soon,” Shintaro pleads, and Shori just nods.
It’s Matsukura Kaito who discovers them, Shori completely dressed while
Shintaro is wearing nothing, and all he does is yell about the senpai hogging
the shower.
Studying at the Morimoto’s is actually more peaceful than his own house, or at
least Shintaro’s presence is more motivating than staring at the posters on
Shori’s wall. True to his word, Shintaro doesn’t bother him one bit, just plays
on his computer and reads manga like he was home alone. Shori’s jealous that
Shintaro doesn’t have to worry about university entrance exams for another
year, if he even decides to.
“Are you gonna go to uni?” Shori asks suddenly, startling Shintaro enough to
drop his book. “Sorry.”
“I just didn’t expect you to speak,” Shintaro says, grinning as he turns onto
his side to face Shori. “Of course I’m going to uni. Why wouldn’t I?”
Shori shrugs. “Because you don’t have to?”
“Why are you going?” Shintaro asks, going on before Shori can answer. “Because
you like learning, right? I like learning too. I don’t know what I want to
learn about yet, but anything is fascinating as long as I can understand it.
You understand a lot of things for sure. You’re so smart, Shori.”
Shori blinks at him. “You amaze me.”
“I love you,” Shintaro says, and Shori inhales sharply. “Is it okay that I say
that? It’s how I feel, for sure, but Juri said you might be scared off—”
“Juri doesn’t know me,” Shori cuts him off, abandoning the textbook on his lap
to give Shintaro his undivided attention. “How do you know that’s how you
feel?”
Shintaro shrugs. “I just know. It feels right.”
Of course. Shori’s emotions start to overflow, because what he feels right now
is so intense that he has no other way to express himself. “I’m sorry,” he
mutters, covering his face as the tears escape from his eyes.
“Are you crying?” Shintaro asks, and Shori shakes his head before Shintaro
grabs his arms. “Did I upset you somehow?”
“No,” Shori rushes to say, letting Shintaro pull his arms down, and the feeling
he gets when Shintaro grabs onto both of his hands is indescribable. “I’m
crying because I’m happy. Please don’t make fun of me.”
“Why would I make fun of you? This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Shori tries to blink through his tears, but he can’t see Shintaro clearly,
examine his face to see if he’s joking around. All he can do is tighten his
grip on Shintaro’s hands and hang his head, but then he feels lips press
against both of his eyes and he’s pretty sure that swelling feeling inside him
is his heart bursting with love.
“I think I love you too,” Shori gets out, and he can feel Shintaro grinning
against his neck when the younger boy pulls him into a proper hug. “I’m so
scared, Shin. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Me neither!” Shintaro exclaims, and Shori laughs through his tears. “Shouldn’t
you get back to studying?”
Shori shoves at him. “I can’t concentrate now!”
Shintaro wrestles back, the two of them shrieking and laughing like kids,
Shori’s eyes still watery when he ends up pinned and gives up. One of
Shintaro’s arms lift up, but Shori doesn’t even think about escaping, those
feelings returning tenfold when Shintaro uses his thumb to wipe the tears from
Shori’s eyes.
“Kiss me,” Shori breathes. “If it’s okay.”
“It’s always okay,” Shintaro tells him, then leans down to press their mouths
together. It’s been so long that Shori had forgotten what he tastes like, how
aggressive he is without meaning to be, because he feels just as much as Shori
does and is equally as clueless how to process it all.
Shintaro doesn’t let up after a few seconds and Shori doesn’t want him to, his
newfound feelings blooming into something that takes over his mind as he wraps
his arms around Shintaro and pulls him close. That familiar weight presses him
down, legs intertwining together as their tongues tangle lazily. Shori forgets
about entrance exams, about work, even about what this all means as he just
focuses on kissing Shintaro, because right now that’s all he knows.
After what feels like forever and too soon at the same time, Shintaro pulls
away to look down at Shori, still blurry but clear enough for Shori to feel the
heat of his stare. “I wanna do it.”
“Okay,” Shori says, nodding frantically until Shintaro kisses him again, much
harder than before, and Shori’s hands pull at Shintaro’s clothes. It’s easy to
undress each other this time, even though Shintaro’s shirt gets caught on his
face and Shintaro’s big fingers keep fumbling on the button fly of Shori’s
jeans, but they just laugh it off and keep trying until they’re skin to skin.
It should feel weird, but everything is perfect as Shintaro’s hands explore
Shori’s arms, chest, legs, everywhere he can reach with those long arms. It
just feels right, to take a leaf out of Shintaro’s book, which Shori resigns to
live by for at least the remainder of this encounter, because it’s much easier
than trying to analyze everything right now. His hands are roaming too, feeling
as much of Shintaro as he can before he’s too distracted to appreciate it,
noticing how not once does Shintaro flinch or any way indicate that he’s not
enjoying Shori’s touch.
On a whim, Shori trails his fingertips down Shintaro’s bare spine and feels him
shiver, smirking a little at being the one to have that effect on him, but then
it turns out to backfire when Shintaro mouths his way down to Shori’s neck and
finds a sensitive spot Shori hadn’t even known he had, making him arch
uncontrollably beneath Shintaro who doesn’t let up one bit.
One of Shintaro’s hands drop to Shori’s thigh, and all at once Shori’s arousal
hits him, reminding him why they’re doing this and what the end result will be.
He breathes out a moan without even really being stimulated, his cock hard but
resting against Shintaro’s stomach that’s not providing any friction, though
the urge that Shori feels is much deeper inside him.
“Shin,” Shori says, and Shintaro grunts his acknowledgment. “Did you get the
stuff from your brother?”
Shintaro pauses and lifts his head, looking down at Shori with eyes so soft
that Shori almost wants to cry again, because right now he feels so loved and
cared for that he wants to put this feeling in a bottle and carry it forever.
Nodding, Shintaro reaches over to his nightstand and pulls a few packets out of
the drawer; Shori doesn’t bother looking at them to verify what they are. He
trusts Shintaro completely, enough to just lift his knees and keep his eyes
open despite the wave of shame that washes over him, watching Shintaro look at
everything he’s offering despite his reservations, a walking contradiction
lying on his back.
“Are you sure?” Shintaro asks, and Shori nods so hard that he almost gives
himself whiplash. “If I do it too hard, just let me know. I don’t know my own
strength, especially when I’m distracted like this.”
“Just do it,” Shori hisses, using what’s left of his willpower to relax.
“Before I lose my nerve.”
“Okay,” Shintaro agrees, reaching for one of the packets, and Shori chokes on
his air when Shintaro actually does it, going straight for his rim without any
teasing. “Shit, Shori, it’s so tight.”
“Just circle it a bit,” Shori forces himself to say, his face red-hot at saying
these things where Shintaro can see him. “It’ll relax to…yeah…like that.”
Shintaro looks like he’s concentrating on moving his finger, circling Shori’s
rim as requested and dipping his fingertip inside every so often. It drives
Shori crazy and he grabs for Shintaro’s arms just for something to hold onto,
squirming beneath him because he wants to feel more, dammit. His body just
isn’t ready yet.
“Don’t just stare at me,” Shori hisses. “I can’t relax if I’m on display like
this.”
“I’m sorry,” Shintaro says earnestly, leaning down to press a kiss to Shori’s
lips, which helps immensely. He doesn’t stay there for very long, though,
returning to Shori’s neck and chest and down his belly, and Shori realizes what
Shintaro’s about to do approximately half a second before he licks the tip of
Shori’s cock.
“Oh my god,” Shori groans, his hands instantly drawn to Shintaro’s hair.
“Shin.”
Shintaro’s hum shows how much he likes hearing his name like that, but it also
has Shori’s hips bucking up on his own, pushing his way into Shintaro’s mouth.
Shintaro lets him, licking what he can while Shori arches and whimpers on the
bed, and Shori doesn’t notice that Shintaro has gotten a whole finger inside
him until it moves around and touches something that makes him feel like he’s
about to finish.
“Shin, Shin,” Shori gasps, his whole body going tense. “That spot, I think you
found it.”
“Oh yeah?” Shintaro asks, pulling off to speak and mouthing Shori’s cock from
base to tip like it’s an ice cream cone. “Is it right here?”
He hits it again and Shori moans out loud, nodding needlessly as his fingers
tighten in Shintaro’s hair. “If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, you
better get back up here.”
“Another time,” Shintaro promises, sounding like he’s talking to Shori’s cock
itself before pressing a kiss to the wet head and climbing back up Shori’s
body. “I think I need to get another one in before we can do anything, right?”
“It should be—easier now,” Shori gets out, his legs spreading even more when he
feels the second fingertip slip in, his muscles protesting but stretching all
the same. “Oh my god.”
“Are you okay?” Shintaro asks, kissing his way back to Shori’s ear. “It feels
so tight. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Fuck, keep talking,” Shori growls. It’s a million times better hearing
Shintaro’s voice like this than on the phone, with those fingers touching him
so deeply and preparing him so carefully.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard,” Shintaro hisses, making Shori’s body push back
against the touch without active control. “I can’t wait to be inside you, just
like this, pounding you into my mattress. I’m gonna hit that spot over and over
and make you come so hard that all you know is how my dick feels inside you.”
“Fucking filthy mouth,” Shori sputters, feeling Shintaro grin into his hair.
“It’s helping, though,” Shintaro points out, emphasizing his statement by
wiggling his two fingers inside Shori, grazing his prostate again. “One more?”
“Your fingers are huge,” Shori tells him. “Three might break me.”
“You say that, yet you can’t stop pushing back against them.”
“I can’t control anything anymore,” Shori says. “I just want…you…inside me.”
And god he does, Shintaro’s fingers just serving as prelude to the main course,
which is surreptitiously grinding against his thigh. Just thinking about having
that inside him gets that third finger in, his body attacked by shivers as all
three of Shintaro’s fingertips massage that spot, making him jerk all over the
bed. Shori feels Shintaro shift and knows that he’s reaching for something
else, maybe a condom, maybe more lube; it doesn’t matter as long as it gets him
closer to penetrating Shori.
“I feel like I should say something sexy and profound here,” Shintaro says once
he’s pulled out his fingers and knelt between Shori’s widespread legs. “But all
I can think about is feeling you around me.”
“Nothing about you is profound,” Shori teases, and Shintaro shrugs in agreement
as Shori starts to feel embarrassingly empty with nothing inside him.
“Shintaro.”
“Shori.”
Shintaro pushes in, just like that, and Shori bites his lip to keep from
clenching as he’s filled more than he ever thought possible. It doesn’t hurt,
thanks to Shintaro’s thorough preparation, but it’s so much and stretching him
to the limit that all he can do is claw at Shintaro’s arms to release some of
the pressure.
“Are you okay?” Shintaro asks, his voice sinfully low.
“I’m fine,” Shori assures him. “Just give me a second.”
“It feels so good, Shori.”
“I know.”
The pair of them lie perfectly still, but Shori’s muscles seem to be moving
enough to make up for both of them. Shintaro’s bottomed out inside him,
twitching every so often and Shori can’t hold back his gasps, his body starting
to rock for more.
“You ready?” Shintaro asks, pressing the words against Shori’s outstretched
throat. “You feel ready.”
“Go ahead,” Shori says, his voice coming out strained. “Just…go slowly,
please.”
“Sure,” Shintaro whispers, wrapping both arms around Shori’s shoulders as he
starts to roll his hips. It takes him a few tries to find a rhythm, but soon
he’s panting into Shori’s skin and igniting little bursts of pleasure that
Shori didn’t think were possible in real life. His legs lift to clamp around
Shintaro’s waist, pulling him in deeper, and they both moan as Shori feels that
spot grazed by the head of Shintaro’s cock.
“There,” Shori whispers, and Shintaro nods hard enough to send sweat flying
from his hair. It’s a little gross, but Shori can hardly be bothered by that
right now, his fingers twisting even more in the damp locks until Shintaro
whines. “Does it hurt when I do this?”
“Feels good,” Shintaro tells him. “Everything feels so good.”
It’s like a broken record on repeat, but Shori doesn’t mind hearing that over
and over at all. It makes him feel even better to know he’s pleasing Shintaro
by just lying here, not doing anything but reacting to his motions. It
certainly feels good to him too, in a completely different way than just
jerking off, though each prod to his prostate makes him want to come.
Tugging on Shintaro’s hair is hotter than he expects it to be, or maybe
everything is just hot right now. The little noises Shintaro makes and the way
he thrusts harder into Shori with each pull, looking like he’s desperately
trying to keep from going any faster as much as he wants to, and Shori
considers his schedule for the next two days before yanking Shintaro up by his
hair.
“Didn’t you say something about pounding me into the mattress?” he asks,
shuddering at how Shintaro’s eyes are completely glazed over and unseeing.
“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Shintaro mumbles, slurring the words like he’s drunk,
and his eternal focus on Shori’s comfort makes Shori just want it more.
Instead of replying (begging), Shori just shoves a hand between them and
touches himself, moaning softly as his body tightens even more around Shintaro
from the contact. “Shin.”
“Fuck,” Shintaro hisses, snapping his hips to keep up his current pace, and
Shori likes how that feels a lot. “Fine, okay, damn.”
Shori laughs at how Shintaro acts like he’s put out by simply fucking him
faster, grabbing Shori’s hip with one hand and leaning on his other elbow as
his wet hair falls into his face, and Shori has never been more attracted to
anyone in his entire life.
“You look so hot right now,” Shori tells him, and Shintaro whines in response
as Shori arches under his own touch. “I’m gonna come soon.”
“I…I…” Shintaro starts, then surprises Shori by leaning up to fuse their mouths
together in a heated kiss, one that muffles both of their noises as Shori pulls
himself off and Shintaro gives a few more sharp thrusts before falling still.
Shori feels Shintaro’s cock twitch inside him, the weight on top of him
shivering as he clings onto Shori like it’s the only thing he knows.
Shori feels something similar, along with an ache in his thighs that probably
isn’t going to go away even after he stretches them out. He must whine enough
to pierce through Shintaro’s orgasmic haze, because the younger boy struggles
to push himself up enough for Shori to move, both of them gasping when he pulls
out.
For someone whose mind usually races a mile a minute, the calm serenity
following orgasm has Shori concerned. What happens now? Is their relationship
going to continue to be like this? Was Hokuto right after all?
“Oh my god, my abs hurt,” Shintaro grumbles, rolling onto his side and
clutching his middle. “So much effort for an orgasm.”
Shori bursts out laughing and halfheartedly punches Shintaro in the arm.
“Jerk.”
“I didn’t mean—” Shintaro starts, turning over with wide eyes until he sees
Shori grinning. “Did you like it?”
“I did, but…” Shori trails off, trying not to cringe as he becomes very aware
of the lingering soreness (and mess). “The other stuff is much easier for
sure.”
“Are you hurt?” Shintaro asks suddenly, frowning as he studies Shori’s face. “I
knew I shouldn’t have gone so fast. I’m so sorry!”
“It’s fine,” Shori assures him, reaching out for Shintaro’s hand to give it a
comforting squeeze. Shintaro’s still pouting, clearly upset with himself, but
Shori just smiles at him. “You can make it up to me by giving me a bath. I feel
really gross.”
“I can do that,” Shintaro says, hopping up with only a little wince. “Man, my
morning crunches are gonna be a bitch tomorrow.”
Shori snorts at Shintaro being the one to whine about pain here, but soon he’s
settled in a warm bath and doesn’t even have any reservations about Shintaro
cleaning him. The pleasant buzz that remains after his orgasm is certainly
stronger this time, but that’s probably because Shintaro’s still touching him,
drifting his fingertips lightly up and down Shori’s arms and gently massaging
his aching muscles.
“So now that we did it, do you think everyone will shut up about it?” Shintaro
asks.
Shori wrinkles his nose without opening his eyes. “Do we have to tell them?”
“All of that hard work deserves at least five thousand yen, don’t you think?”
Shori is inclined to agree, even if Hokuto doesn’t actually believe him.
“There’s no way that happened,” Hokuto says firmly.
“What? It totally did,” Shori insists. “It’s three days later and I still have
to be careful sitting down.”
“Your face is nothing higher than PG-rated,” Hokuto says. “I don’t buy it one
bit.”
“Do you want them to do it in front of you or something?” Juri speaks up from
the side where he’s stretching with Shouki. “Just accept that you lost and pay
the man.”
“Wait, I have an idea,” Shouki says, jumping up and promptly disappearing. Even
Shori knows better than to expect anything good to come out of a Morohoshi
Shouki idea, but it’s just another junior whom Shouki drags up to them. “This
one can see auras,” he says seriously.
Takahashi Kaito blinks at Shori and holds up both hands, palms facing out.
“Shori-senpai has an interesting glow.”
“Yeah, but does that mean that he had smhh—” Hokuto starts, the rest of his
question muffled when Juri claps a hand over his mouth.
“He’s fifteen, dude,” Juri hisses. “Don’t be more of a bad influence than you
already are.”
Hokuto rolls his eyes, but doesn’t repeat himself when Juri lets him go.
“Whatever, fine, you win. Enjoy your weird relationship.”
Shori holds out his hand expectantly while Hokuto rifles through his wallet. He
grumbles as he forks over the bills, which Shori happily accepts and grins all
the way over to Shintaro. “Hokuto is paying for our next date,” he announces.
“How nice of him,” Shintaro replies. “Does this mean I have to put out?”
“Please don’t,” Shori says, and they both laugh.
“I don’t get it,” Hokuto mutters, folding his arms in blatant disapproval. “How
are they so happy?”
“You don’t have to get it,” Juri tells him, slinging an arm loosely around
Hokuto’s shoulders. “You just have to accept it.”
“Yeah, Matsumura-senpai,” Kaito agrees in his high voice. “Don’t be such a
judgmental douchebag.”
Juri and Shouki burst out laughing while Hokuto loudly demands to know where
Kaito learned that word. Meanwhile, Shori just shakes his head and turns to his
boyfriend. “If we kiss, maybe Hokuto will stop looking like the world turned
upside down.”
“You just want to kiss me in front of everyone,” Shintaro teases. “Stake your
claim.”
Shori waves the five thousand yen in Shintaro’s face. “I already won, you
know.”
“And now you’re stuck with me,” Shintaro tells him, wrapping his arms around
Shori’s waist, and suddenly everyone else disappears.
“I can think of worse things,” Shori replies, standing up on his toes to accept
his prize.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!