Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13221156.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      EXO_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Wu_Yi_Fan_|_Kris/Zhang_Yi_Xing_|_Lay, Kim_Minseok_|_Xiumin/Lu_Han
  Character:
      Wu_Yi_Fan_|_Kris, Zhang_Yi_Xing_|_Lay, Kim_Minseok_|_Xiumin, Lu_Han,
      Huang_Zi_Tao_|_Z.Tao, Kim_Jongdae_|_Chen
  Additional Tags:
      Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Mpreg, Implied/Referenced
      Underage_Sex, Teen_Pregnancy, Pregnancy, Angst, Family_Drama, Protective
      Parents, Age_Difference, Omega_Verse, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Angst_and
      Hurt/Comfort
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-12-31 Updated: 2018-01-10 Chapters: 2/3 Words: 20591
****** heavier than heavenly ******
by theflyjar
Summary
     For most people, a baby is a blessing.
     For Yixing, it's a mistake that fractures his world.
Notes
     this fic doesn't class as being underage in my country, that warning
     is there for those where it is.
     title from the song on_our_way_by_lana_del_rey.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** one *****
Yixing didn’t plan for this. He’s sitting, sobbing on his boyfriend’s
university dorm bed, with his boyfriend’s arms around him, trying to breathe as
much as he can through the sobs. He can feel Yifan’s lips on the back of his
head and he can tell Yifan is trying his hardest to comfort Yixing, but he’s
holding back his scent. Yifan’s holding back his own emotions to put Yixing
first and all that serves to do is make Yixing cry harder. He wants to be able
to smell his boyfriend and have that primal comfort for his senses.
“We will be okay, Xing,” Yifan tells him again and again. “I’ll protect you and
care for you. Both of you.”
Yixing believes him, with all his heart and his own instincts, he knows Yifan
isn’t lying to him.
“I love you, Ge.”
Yifan kisses every centimetre of Yixing’s face that he possibly can. “I know, I
love you, too.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing’s omega mother doesn’t hold back when she slaps Yifan clean across the
face, nor when his alpha mother does the same with the back of her hand. They
both don’t remove their rings. There’s three small cut along Yifan’s cheeks
when they both step back and pull Yixing from Yifan’s arms.
“He’s sixteen,” they say to Yifan. It’s like they’re stuck on repeat. “You’re
an adult and you got a child, our child, pregnant.”
Yixing is crying when he sees the fear and acknowledgement from Yifan. The
alpha is normally so confident and proud, self-assured in his ability to look
after his younger omega boyfriend.
“It was a mistake that was my fault. I should have been more careful. I didn’t
mean for this to happen,” Yifan tries to explain, “but I promise I will be
there to provide everything for Yixing and our baby as best as I can.”
“You will do no such thing,” Yixing’s alpha mother roars. “You’re not to come
near my son or our grandchild.”
“Mama!” Yixing exclaims, trying to pull himself out of his mother’s grip but
she doesn’t let him go. Yixing panics and he can see how frantic the smell of
Yixing’s fear makes Yifan. The alpha tries to step forward but stumbles back
when Yixing’s mother challenges him. Yifan isn’t twenty-one yet, not quite a
mature alpha, so he can’t even contemplate rivalling Yixing’s alpha mother.
“Please, don’t do this,” Yifan begs, whispering, buckling under the scrutiny of
Yixing’s parents. “Please don’t take them away from me. I love Yixing, so much.
I’ll love our baby just the same.”
“You’re nineteen, you don’t know what love is.” Yixing’s omega mother is
softer, she pets Yixing’s hair and stares at Yifan with sad eyes. She’s
disappointed, not angry.
Yixing had only told her about Yifan, not his other mother, because they knew
an older male alpha wouldn’t have gone down too well. Still, Yixing’s omega
mother had trusted Yifan. And they knew that trust had been broken.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yifan’s reaction is instant when Yixing walks through the court’s entrance, he
spins on his foot and breaks into a grin. Yixing’s school friends have told him
he smells pregnant now and he knows Yifan will have picked up on that. Yixing
almost smells mated, carrying around Yifan’s scent to protect their baby from
other alphas.
He’s scooped up and lips are on his before he can even say hello.
“You really shouldn’t be out here,” Yifan mumbles between kisses, and he pulls
Yixing close nonetheless, breathing in his scent. “If anything happened to
either of you when you’re sneaking out to see me, I don’t know what I would
do.”
Yixing loves how Yifan tries to bring them closer, sitting on the floor of the
basketball court and keeping Yixing firmly on his lap.
“I missed you, Ge,” Yixing sighs out, right onto Yifan’s neck. “I missed you so
much. It’s so scary without you. They’ve taken my phone off me. I keep begging
them to let me see you, even the doctor said I should be around my alpha, but
Mama doesn’t want to admit that it’s you. Promise me you’ll be there when our
baby is born, no matter what my parents do, promise that you’ll be there.”
Yifan starts to kiss Yixing again, tugging on Yixing’s lower lip and nodding,
“Of course I’ll be there. Nothing could stop me.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing waits anxiously at the main gate of Yifan’s university and it only
alleviates when he sees Yifan running in his direction. Yifan signals for
Yixing to wait a moment and Yifan heads into the security booth, to sign Yixing
in. It isn’t too long before the walk-through gate opens and Yifan is beckoning
Yixing towards him. Yifan huddles around him instantly, to cover Yixing in his
alpha scent and shamelessly moves to kiss Yixing’s stomach.
“Come on, let’s get you inside.” Yifan barely has to coax before Yixing follows
him. “You can rest there. I was so shocked when I got the call that you were at
the gate.”
Yixing shrugged as Yifan put his arm around his shoulders.
“I needed to get away for awhile.”
It’s only when Yixing curls up on Yifan that he starts to cry. It starts out
with slow tears and quickly becomes sobs as he clutches to Yifan. He’s cared
for and kissed by Yifan, who doesn’t mind if Yixing has snot dribbling down to
his lips.
“I want to run away,” Yixing confesses, “because I want to be with you and they
won’t let me. Please take me away, Ge.”
“Xing...”
“You should be able to do everything with me. You’re my baby’s father and my
boyfriend, you should be with me as this happens. Why won’t they let me see
you? They don’t even know you or how you care for me. All Mama says is that
alpha boys just want to take advantage of young omegas like me. She says you’ll
get bored and start playing around with other people. I always tell her that
you’re not like that. She never believes me. So, just take me away and we can
have our family.”
Yifan says neither yes nor no, Yixing can sense the shock from him, and even
though he wants to, he doesn’t push the subject. He simply listens to Yifan’s
heartbeat and hopes Yifan will come around to his idea of running away
together. He falls asleep like that, soothed by Yifan’s hand in his hair and on
his scalp.
He only stirs in the middle of the night when he hears Yifan talking and feels
the pillow under his head, not his boyfriend. Yixing blinks a few times and
tries to find Yifan in the darkness.
“He’s with me,” he can hear Yifan saying. “He’s asleep, safe. No, I– Please– I
swear it wasn’t my idea.” Yixing can hear the soft growl come from Yifan and
his heart flutters slightly. “I wasn’t going to send him away when he was
stressed. Nor am I going to let my unmated boyfriend leave the safety of my
room in the middle of the night.”
Yixing moves in the bed to sit up and he rubs his eyes, Yifan has some kind of
sixth sense and he shuffles to Yixing’s side. The way he cards through Yixing’s
hair is so gentle and delicate that Yixing can’t help but lean into the touch.
“Please don’t worry about him. I’ve got him…” Yifan’s quiet for a while and
Yixing looks up at him. “No, I’d never let him get hurt. I’d protect him and my
baby from everything.”
Impatient and tired, Yixing pulls Yifan down to the bed, guiding him to lay
down flat against the mattress and he starts kissing along Yifan’s jaw. He
feels like purring when Yifan’s hand curls around him.
“I will make sure he makes it back in the morning.”
Yifan hangs up the phone and sighs, until he looks at Yixing.
“Baby, you can’t just leave your house without telling your parents.” Yixing
looks down shyly as Yifan speaks, chastising him. “Do you know how worried they
were? They thought something terrible had happened. Or that I had taken away
from them.”
“I wish you would take me away.”
“Xing, you love your parents. You don’t really want that.”
“I just want you to be with me… Mark me,” Yixing whispers into the darkness of
the crook of Yifan’s neck. “Then they can’t keep us apart.”
“Xing, I won’t mark you,” Yifan whimpers back. “I want to, I really do. I want
to keep you as safe as I can without being there but I won’t come between you
and your mothers. When the day comes, and I promise that it will, I’ll mark you
and we will be a proper family.”
“You promise?”
“Of course.” Yifan kisses the soft spot where his mark will go on Yixing’s
neck.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing giggles when Yifan’s omega friends fuss over him, Lu Han and Minseok
both pile food up on Yixing’s plate, and he felt so at home with them. They
constantly blabber on about how Yifan talks adoringly about Yixing, they
mention how surprised they had been when Yifan told them how old Yixing was and
that, in recent days, that Yixing is having a baby.
“This is why you’re so skinny!” Lu Han yelps when Yixing says he’s full after
one bowl of rice. “Yifan needs to feed you up.”
“He tries to,” Yixing’s tried to defend. “Ever since we met, he’s been buying
me food and making me eat all of it. He likes it when my cheeks are chubby but
I have slimmed down since getting pregnant, I don’t think I have adjusted yet.”
“I bet that’s why he’s left you with us whilst he’s in class,” Minseok grins
and puts even more meat in Yixing’s dish. “He knows we will make sure you leave
definitely looking like you’re pregnant.”
Yixing tries to eat even more than his stomach would allow, glad that nothing
on the table made him feel sick and Yixing leans against his hand.
“How’s school been since you started to present as pregnant?” Lu Han queries as
he holds food directly to Yixing’s lips.
“I get a few comments and called a couple of names, because I’m not mated and
I’m, well, I’m a kid myself…” Yixing shrugs, hoping to brush it off. “My
friends have been great, though.”
“Have you told Yifan? About school?”
“Not really, it’s not worth it. I know he worries about me as it is…”
“What kinds of thing do they say?” Minseok pries, eyes flicking between Yixing
and Lu Han. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I’ve been called a slut a few times…There’s been a few rumours too, that the
father is married, because Yifan’s older and no one has met him before. I don’t
know, I can block most of it out because it isn’t true.” Yixing pouts and
grumbles, “As long as all the important people know the truth.”
“You should tell Yifan, he’d want to know.”
“I will. But, I’ll wait until some of my own family drama has settled down.”
Yixing smiles and they all jolt when Lu Han’s phone vibrates on the desk.
“Yifan’s done with his class, should we go and meet him or wait for him to come
here.”
Another voice chimes in and Yixing’s stomach feels jittery at the mere sound,
“No need to move anywhere, I’m here.”
Yifan slides in beside Yixing and it’s instinctive how Yixing gravitates to the
alpha’s side, finding his place there. Yixing can hear Yifan’s friends coo and
his face flushes, completely embarrassed by having an audience.
“I hope they’ve been treating you well, Xing,” Yifan says to Yixing in a hushed
voice. “Giving you lots of food, too.”
“Of course,” Yixing replies and he sees something brighten in Yifan’s eyes.
“I’m glad.” Yifan curls an arm around Yixing’s waist. “I’ll take you home after
this. Your mothers have been spamming my phone with calls and messages about
bringing you back, as they’re really not happy that you’ve skipped school
today.”
Yixing pouts so clearly that he knows Yifan kisses him out of impulse. “I don’t
want to go home, I want to stay with you.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
                                        
Even though neither of them want it, Yifan still takes Yixing home. For the
whole elevator ride up Yixing’s apartment building, Yixing holds Yifan’s hand
like it’s the only thing that keeps him grounded on the Earth. He’s buried
against the side of the alpha, already fearing what’s to come when they reach
the floor Yixing’s apartment is on. Yixing can smell both his mothers before he
sees them, cowering behind Yifan as their anger seeps, then floods, into the
compartment as the doors open.

Yixing thought it was directed at him until he’s dragged out from behind Yifan
and can only watch on, partly terrified, as his alpha mother corners Yifan.
Even if Yifan is larger than her in every way, he still retreats like a wounded
dog away from the snarling tiger of a woman.

“How dare you keep our son from us!” She roars and Yixing is so sure that
she’ll hit Yifan that he himself flinches with her movements. “He’s a child!
He’s a pregnant child and you helped him run away from home. How dare you?”

“I-I-I just wa-want to keep him safe,” Yifan stutters as he’s pulled out of the
elevator and into the hallway.

“You don’t think I can do that? You don’t think that I, his parent, can keep
him safe and know what’s best for him?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Yifan was scrambling for words and Yixing’s heart
broke for his boyfriend. “I cant turn him away when he’s vulnerable.”

“And whose fault is that? Who has made him this vulnerable to begin with?”
Yixing’s cracked heart fell as he saw Yifan silently admit defeat. “I don’t
want you near my son, ever. If he runs to you and you don’t return him
immediately, we will go to the police. Do you understand me? Alphas like you
shouldn’t be fooling around and knocking up high school omegas.”

“It’s... It’s not like that,” Yifan tries, voice cracking, to defend himself.
“I love Yixing. Please, believe me. I only want to look after him.”

Yixing feels his omega mother’s grip on him loosen and she lets out a shaky
breath before murmuring, “Send him away, Yixing. Your mama will kill him
otherwise.”

In all of his life, Yixing has been well behaved and obedient, especially when
it comes to his parents. They’ve rarely ever been angry at him, so he’s never
known - fully, at least - the wrath of a protective alpha. But, as his mother
keeps Yifan cornered, Yixing can feel it coming off her in tidal waves of fury.

Instead of being able to do a single thing about it, Yixing’s eyes sting as he
begins to cry and Yifan’s the first one to notice. He looks past Yixing’s
mother, in what could be taken as a blatant sign of disrespect, and meets
Yixing’s eyes.

“Don’t cry,” Yifan whispers and Yixing’s mothers both move to look at Yixing.
“Don’t be upset, baby.”

Yixing nods and tries to wipe his eyes with the cuffs of his sleeves. His omega
mother holds him to be comforting, gently holding her son until he’s tucked
completely into her body.

It doesn’t take long for Yixing’s alpha mother to retreat back to Yixing’s side
and block all view he has of Yifan. Yixing feels himself panic even more. All
he wants is to be scooped up by his alpha and adored until he feels nothing but
happiness.

“See, look at what you’ve done,” Yixing’s omega mother growls, and Yixing isn’t
quite sure if it’s directed at her own mate or Yifan. Still, it simply makes
Yixing feel worse about everything.

“Gege,” Yixing whines softly, calling out for Yifan.

He hears a pained noise before he hears Yifan whimper, “Let me hold him. I just
want to hold him. Please, I want to comfort him.”

He’s ignored by all but Yixing, who moves his arms to reach out for Yifan
because all he wants is his alpha to make things better.

“Take him inside,” his mother says to the other, “he’ll calm down there.”

“Mama, I want Yifan,” Yixing tells her and she looks down at him sadly.

“You don’t know what you want, honey. Have some water and go to bed,” is all
he’s given in response and he whispers a few no’s, still trying to show them
that he wants Yifan.

Yixing gets ushered inside and he looks around frantically, trying to find
Yifan, and his heart settles a little when he sees the alpha. It calms him
slightly when Yifan smiles at him, telling him from afar that things will be
okay, even if both of them are crying.

When the door shuts and Yixing is on the other side, he hears a few sharp
slapping noises and low growling that makes even Yixing’s body flood with
dread.

“Stay away from my son,” he hears, “or I’ll call our lawyer and take out some
kind of restraining order.”

He’s can’t listen to the rest as he’s carted off to his bedroom and ushered
into his bed.

“What’s he done to you, huh?” His mother mutters as she toys with Yixing’s hair
on his head. It feels different to when Yifan does it. “All of this could have
been avoided, Yixing. You’re too young to be having sex, let alone unprotected
sex, and he’s old enough to know that. You should have at least been using
protection.”

“But,” Yixing’s words all stumble out, “I was taking my pill.”

“Still, Yixing, alphas shouldn’t leave it all up to the omega to think about
these things. He should have been using a condom when he,” his mother takes a
breath and grimaces, “when he knotted you.”

Yixing’s face, if not already red from crying, would have begun to burn just
hearing his mother say those words. And the embarrassment only ran deeper as
Yixing’s mind automatically responded with, “He’s never knotted me. It doesn’t
fit.”

Instead of making things better, it only makes them worse when his mother
registers what Yixing has said. Even she growls and has to take a moment or two
longer to collect yourself.

“He shouldn’t have been having sex with you if his knot doesn’t even fit. That
just shows how young you are, how far off omega maturity you are, Xing.”

“But, Mama, I love him.” Yixing feels like his words explain everything. “You
always said you’re supposed share yourself with the person you love.”

“Not when you’re a teenager. Not when you haven’t even finished high school.”
Yixing’s mother curls into Yixing’s side and rubs the spot where Yixing’s baby
will be. “I meant for those to be things you do with your mate. When you’re
both matured.“

“I want him to be my mate, Mama. I want him to mark me.”

“Yixing, you’re sixteen. You’re nine years off omega maturity. You don’t know
what you’ll need from a mate at this age, you can’t pick a mate when you don’t
know those things. Yifan will reach alpha maturity when he turns twenty one,
that’s in two years. You’ve got to wait until you’re twenty five until you’re
mature.” His mother’s breathing shallows and Yixing can tell he’s growing
upset. “What if, when he turns twenty one, Yifan figures out what he wants? I
don’t want to upset you, but, it may not be you. And by this point, you’ll have
a two year old child.

“What about when you mature? You’ll have a nine year old child, you may still
be with Yifan, but what if he’s not the person you want to be with? If you
mate, Xing, it’s not just you two involved, there will be a child. We mature -
and at different rates, too - for a reason. Teenagers aren’t supposed to be
mating or having babies together. And Yifan knows that. He knows that and he
still was okay with having unprotected sex with you.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing feels a bit lost when he goes to school the next day. His eyes are
swollen from crying and he feels sensitive all over, it doesn’t help that
people whisper about him as he moves towards his friends. He’s drawn in by Tao,
a tall beta, who can instantly recognise that something isn’t right with
Yixing. It’s like Tao can recognise how frightened Yixing is just by looking at
him.

There’s a large part of Yixing that is sure Tao’s the only reason why Yixing
hasn’t been bullied yet, with how protective he is and how adept he is in
defending both himself and his friends. Both physically and emotionally.

“Let it all out,” Tao soothes. “It’ll help you feel less stressed.”

They stand there, alone, hugging for a while until someone cuddles Yixing from
behind.

“Yah, why are you so sad all the time?” Jongdae asks him, trying to ease the
mood a little. “You’ll make me cry and that’ll make Tao cry then everyone will
cry when they see how ugly all our faces actually are.”

Yixing laughs a little, in between sobs, and nods his head, trying to reassure
his friends. They both smother him with hugs and kisses to his hair, though,
until Yixing’s short laugh becomes giggles that ring in the air. The three of
them only part when it’s time to head for their class and Yixing lets himself
be guided through the corridors.

He knows people are watching him, that their eyes are saying everything their
mouths aren’t, and all he can think about doing is running to Yifan. It only
hurts more, knowing he can’t. It leaves a dull ache in his chest and his eyes
only begin to water again.

Jongdae tries to keep him smiling and Tao’s always there to hold Yixing closer
when he needs to. They’re even there when one of Yixing’s mothers appears to
pick him up at the end of the day.

They would all get the subway home together, usually, but Yixing knows he’s
been out under some kind of house arrest. Yixing’s never been grounded before,
so he doesn’t quite know what it means, yet he knows it’s a big deal if his
alpha mother stands at the gate to wait for him. She’s even more possessive
than normal, going as far as to rub her scent over Yixing’s to eradicate both
Tao and Jongdae’s. It makes him feel uncomfortable and a bit suffocated.

He doesn’t stop for milk tea or ice cream on his way home, despite the hot
weather, and his mother doesn’t talk to him much.

Yixing knows it’s a punishment for running away and he knows that his parents
feel like he deserves it. Still, he hates it.

He misses the freedom he used to have, where he would meet up with Yifan after
school and they’d share a slice of steamed cake at a nearby café. It doesn’t
help that he feels stripped of almost everything without his phone. When he
used to while away his time messaging his friends and Yifan, as well as playing
games against them, he can only twiddle his thumbs and think more about how
miserable he feels.

It doesn’t help that his mother takes him to see his doctor, who tries to ask
about the father of the baby, and is instantly shot down by the growling of
Yixing’s mother. The doctor seems to pick up on how much it upsets Yixing and
constantly reassures him that everything is okay, that even despite the fact
that he’s not matured, things seem healthy and normal with his body.

Yixing wishes he could tell Yifan all these things, to let him know that he’s
completely okay. And it’s thinking like that which means Yixing can’t help but
curl up on the sofa as soon as he gets home.

His omega mother is there waiting for him, with a blanket and some sweetened
tea, and she curls around him.

“I’m sorry, Mama,” he looks over his shoulder to say. “I’m sorry that I messed
up.”

“It’s not your fault, Xing,” she tries to reassure him, but it only makes him
feel worse, knowing that his parents only blame Yifan. “And we are here for
you, you know that, don’t you?”

“I know,” he murmurs.

It doesn’t help him feel any less alone.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
He knew it would be another mistake, on the pile of hundreds that he had been
making, when he asked if Yifan could go along to his first scan. Especially
with his alpha mother’s reactions whenever Yifan was at least alluded to.

She rejects the suggestion instantly, telling Yixing such a firm no that his
eyes instantly water.

Yixing could tell that his omega mother wavered at the suggestion, if only a
little. She gazes at Yixing with a soft frown and sympathetic eyes, her
shoulders sag a little and she reaches over the table to hold Yixing’s hand.

“Let him go, Yixing,” his alpha mother finally voices. “He doesn’t have to be
involved. We are your parents, you don’t need him.”

“But,” Yixing’s whole face drops, “he’s the father of my baby.”

“I will be honest with you,” she continues on, “I don’t care if he is the
father or not.”

Yixing could feel his bottom lip wobbling, the tears in his eyes too, and he
drew his hand back from his other mother. He doesn’t stand up, even though he
wants to.

“You can’t say things like that,” he hears his omega mother rumble. “Look at
what you’re doing to our son. Do you really think you’re protecting him by
completely disregarding his feelings? Yixing is not a possession, he is our
child. Our only child. Does watching him cry because of your lack of tact not
make you feel terrible inside?”

“He’s crying over that idiot, why should I care about that?”

“No, he’s crying because of how you’re talking about him. He’s pregnant and
sensitive, and you’re talking down to his first love. Yes, I hate all of this
as much as you but think about Yixing, for once, in this situation. Not what’s
been done to Yixing or who this was caused by. Think about the frightened
little boy that’s sat right in front of you.”

Yixing hiccups and senses his omega mother move around the table to gather him
up in her arms. She kisses the side of his ear and whispers for him to calm
down.

All Yixing can think about, however, is that he’s ruined everything and he
doesn’t know what to do about it.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
There’s something in the way Yixing’s mother ushers him down to the subway
station, having left the house in a slight rush, and there’s something giddy in
the way his mother moves. It makes Yixing suspicious, given that the
appointment has been made for when Yixing’s alpha mother is working.

“I hope today will be a happy day for you,” he’s told so gently, that he almost
misses it over the shifting of the subway car. “Having your first scan is very
exciting.”

Yixing nods his head and tries to act like he’s anticipating it. And yet, the
depths of his stomach only holds nervousness and fear. He doesn’t know how he’s
going to react to it. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do without Yifan, even
if someone is going to hold his hand through it. His instincts tell him that
it’s not the same, that his own alpha should guide him through it all.

Instead, as they advance upon the hospital’s pregnancy wing, the colour drains
from Yixing and his lightheadedness becomes almost overwhelming.

It takes a moment, maybe two, to pinpoint the scent that sends Yixing’s stomach
flipping. Along with that, there’s a soaring in Yixing’s heart when he sees
Yifan sat in the clinic’s waiting room, and he clutches at his mother’s hand
happily.

“Don’t tell your Mama,” she whispers in Yixing’s ear and nudges him forward.
She hovers back at the doorway as Yifan stands and heads towards him,
surrounding Yixing with the arms and scent Yixing had longed for.

“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” Yifan mumbles into Yixing’s hair, his heart
hammering against Yixing’s cheek. “Have you been resting? Sleeping well? Eating
healthily? How’s school and your friends? I hope your mothers are doing okay,
too.”

“One question at a time, Gege,” Yixing laughs, feeling happiness ebb into his
stomach. “I can’t answer them all at once.”

“Just tell me you’re okay,” is what Yifan says instead, smelling the crook of
Yixing’s neck. “It’s all I can think about.”

“I’m healthy.” Yixing scents Yifan in return, as eagerly as Yifan is him.

Yifan pulls back and skims his thumbs over Yixing’s cheeks, “I asked if you’re
okay, not if you’re healthy.”

“I wasn’t,” Yixing admits, shyly, “but I am now.”

Yifan can read the subtext, Yixing knows it, and the alpha nuzzles into
Yixing’s hairline. It’s a delicate moment, one that’s as fragile as a soapy
bubble, and Yixing can feel the tension increase until it pops.

They’re told to go into an appointment room, with Yixing’s mother following
closely behind, and Yixing is shy with lifting up his shirt. He sees Yifan
twist away and not watch as he does so, and Yixing grabs his hand. Yifan turns
back and Yixing can see his eyes glinting, even more so when Yixing lays
Yifan’s hand on his bare stomach. There’s a the tiniest of bumps there, which
is only visible because of how little fat is on Yixing’s bones.

In Yixing’s chest, there’s an overwhelming feeling when he sees a tear fall
from Yifan’s eyes, only to be followed by many more.

The midwife makes a comment about how most people cry after the scan. Yixing
ignores it to move Yifan’s hand to his chest, to give more room for the
Ultrasound Gel to be squirted onto Yixing’s skin. It’s not too long until the
probe spreads it around and the midwife starts to take a reading.

There’s a gentle heartbeat that comes from the monitor and Yixing hiccups back
his own tears as he clutches at Yifan. He barely listens to the woman take her
measurements and talk about the pregnancy. All Yixing can focus on is the image
on the scan and the hand held in his own. It’s too unreal for Yixing, it feels
like he’s not really there, and he’s not even sure how he gets out onto the
street.

His mother isn’t by his side. Yifan is, though. And he only starts to breathe
properly again when Yifan kiss him. It’s so deep and sweet that Yixing’s
surprised that it doesn’t take his breath away. His fingers are in Yifan’s
hair, Yifan’s hands are around his waist, and it tastes like spearmint gum.
Like when Yixing came up to the building, his head is spinning outside of the
hospital again. He doesn’t want it to end, he wants the moment to stretch out
in front of him straight to the horizon.

And he still yelps when he’s torn away from Yifan. Then, he settles when he’s
pulled back with a ferocious growl, and he feels so protected by it. Heart
shudderingly so.

“Yixing,” he hears his mother hiss and Yifan’s arms loosen around him, to
release him.

He shuffles around and sees her with an uncharacteristically stern look on her
soft omega features. She looks like she wants to set Yifan alight but Yixing
can feel Yifan’s heart racing against his left shoulder blade. The protective
edge curls around Yifan’s aura and Yixing takes his time stepping away from
him, faltering a little when Yifan whimpers.

“Gege, it’s okay, she won’t hurt me.”

Yifan seems unsure but releases Yixing all the same. He’s brought back to his
mother’s side and she lets out her own small rumbling growl.

“I invited you here to make my son happy, not to try and lick his tonsils.” Her
voice sounds alpha-like, all too intimidating for an omega and Yixing stares
back at Yifan, sadly.

“I’m sorry. I just...I was too happy. I forgot myself,” Yifan hums, sounding
weak. He takes a step back, too. “It won’t happen again.”

Yixing’s mother starts to turn them away. “Say goodbye, Yixing. It’s the last
you’ll see of him in a while.”

He does as she tells him and simply mouths, “I love you.”

And he grins when Yifan does the very same.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing’s mother makes Yixing scrub himself with scent removing soap and has him
try to walk up some stairs as fast as he can to replenish his own scent. Yet,
that all becomes futile when Yixing hands over the ultrasound photograph. He
can sense that something is wrong because his alpha mother isn’t listening to
her mate explain where the foetus is.

Instead, she lifts the card to her face and smells it. She smells her own mate
next, especially her fingertips and Yixing only watches as his smaller mother
stumbles towards him.

It’s almost instantaneous when his omega mother steps in front of him, her
hands reaching behind her to hold Yixing’s fingers. His alpha mother storms to
where they stand and towers over them both.

“Is there any reason why that filthy alpha’s scent is on this scan and on your
hands?” Yixing still wishes he has the strength to speak up and defend Yifan.
He doesn’t. It doesn’t stop him for hoping for it to appear. “Did you let him
near our son?”

“It was barely an hour,” Yixing’s other mother attempts to explain. “It was
Yixing’s first scan.”

“It could be Yixing’s fucking funeral and I wouldn’t want that alpha anywhere
near him,” his alpha mother screams. He tightens the grip he has on his other
mother’s hands. “Have you seen what he’s done to our son? He’s defiled him and
got him pregnant. He’s wrapped our baby around his little finger and ruined his
life, he’s taken away so many opportunities for our child to have. Do you see
what he’s done to this family?”

It’s silent for a long time, Yixing’s omega mother is too stunned by the way
her own mate looms over them, very much like the alpha she normally isn’t. Even
when his parents argue normally, there’s never any alpha-based intimidation.
They squabble then sort things out. They don’t scream and yell. They don’t push
and pull at Yixing’s emotions. Or each other’s.

“I’m sorry for breaking that rule but I love my son, too much. My heart can’t
take it when he’s this vacant. And I know we agreed that we need to be cruel to
be kind, but he’s pregnant. It isn’t healthy to put this kind of strain on him.
He’s terrified enough as it is, I can feel it. I hate that alpha just as much
as you do, I really do, and yet seeing how Yixing was around him, I don’t
know... There was a short moment where seeing my child go through a moment like
that with someone else at his side, no matter who that person was, was the best
thing for me to see when he’s been this miserable. I will put my hands up and
say it was worth it. Because it was.

“It may have been a short term solution but I was panicking. I don’t know what
to do either. Yixing lays in his bed and cries at night. He cries in the
shower. God, he cries every time we even bring this up. That’s not right.
Having a baby, even in circumstances like this, should be a happy thing. I
simply didn’t want to see my son feel so hurt for one hour of one day, is that
a crime? Or do I have to get permission from my alpha to make my own child
happy?”

Yixing’s alpha mother shakes her head and storms away, back out the front door
and Yixing feels stuck in his place. He wants nothing more than to run away, to
find Yifan and hide with him. Yixing thinks it’ll be better for his parents
like that, so they stop fighting and have some of their own peace. He knows
Yifan won’t say yes. Yifan would never place himself above Yixing’s parents.

A voice in the back of Yixing’s mind tells him that Yifan would rather stay
away than create trouble between Yixing and his parents.

Still, Yixing wants to go to him. Things aren’t perfect when they’re together
and Yixing has never been unaware of that, he just wishes he could have Yifan’s
hand in his when things are hard.

That’s all he wants, really, to be able to go through it with someone. And he
wants it to be the other father of his baby.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘

Yixing keeps to himself at school, more than ever. He completes all his work
and homework as early as possible to not stand out; he brings his own lunch to
school; he stays behind with his music teachers to practise playing the piano.
The last one of that list is always completed under the supervision of one of
his mothers. He doesn’t want to cause any more trouble to the women that raised
him.

He’s stopped talking about Yifan, too.

He simply thinks about him all the time. He dreams, too.

Even when he sleeps, he sees Yifan cradling babies and tending to a large bump
on Yixing’s stomach. However, those slightly idyllic dreams often shift into
nightmares, ones where there are babies everywhere and Yixing’s alone and
they’re all screaming. When Yixing wakes, he wishes he could cuddle into
someone, but never can.

Things only get better when Tao turns up at school one day with a paper bag. He
hands it to Yixing and demands to know that Yixing will keep it safe. Tao says
someone approached him whilst he was working, a slightly older omega, and gave
him it, saying that it was for Yixing.

Yixing’s cautious. Still, he holds the paper bag. When he unfurls the top, he
feels warm all over and that sinks right into his bones.

There’s a hoody that smells so strongly of Yifan that Yixing’s eyes water, and
a letter - a love letter - that Yixing can only read in the middle of the
night. He wears the hoody to sleep most often and simply cuddles it on other
days. The letter remains hidden inside Yixing’s pillow case, where he can keep
it close.

He reads it whenever he feels most alone and his body feels lighter when he
comes to the part where Yifan says he can’t stop thinking about him. Yixing
thinks it’s magical what a few words written on a sheet of paper can do for his
general well-being. It isn’t anything long-winded, nor does it give any great
declaration. It’s simple and everything Yixing needs, instead. Yifan says how
he is there for Yixing, even from afar, and how much he can’t wait to meet
their baby.

He apologises, mostly, acting like the blame ultimately lands on him.

Yixing wishes he could write back and tell him that Yixing is equally at fault.
He didn’t take his pill regularly enough to always be protected and he, too,
didn’t think much about using condoms. In his mind, Yixing stands by the
thought that they hadn’t done anything wrong, they simply hadn’t done
everything right.

That’s what Yixing needs everyone to see.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
To get out of the tense apartment, Yixing’s omega mother took him out shopping,
commenting that Yixing will need comfortable clothes to accommodate the baby
bump when it grows. It seems like a good idea, initially. He can sense the ways
the store clerks look at him as he checks the size of things, and it simply
makes him recoil away from picking anything out. He knows if his alpha mother
was there, she would tell Yixing to ignore them, to be more sure of himself.
But it’s painful to feel people’s attention, especially when they’re judging
him.

He’s not mated, he wears no mark. He’s not matured, which can be pinpointed in
his scent and his appearance. He’s a teenager who has gone to look at clothes
with his mother. He knows people are reading into it and making up stories in
their minds, probably painting him as something he isn’t.

They buy a couple of things from one store before Yixing asks if they can go
home, his mother looks at him sadly but agrees. The journey home is silent and
Yixing thinks about how things used to be, when he would laugh until his belly
hurt whenever he was with his mothers. Now, one of them looks heartbroken
whenever she looks at him and the other one sits in her ivory tower of
protective rage.

Yixing doesn’t speak much when they get home either, he sits and sorts out his
new clothes in the lounge area. He can sense something simmering under the
surface of his alpha mother’s skin whenever she walks through from the kitchen.

Before Yixing has half a mind to ask about it, his other mother gets there
first. He knows it’s only a matter of time before an argument begins.

He hears his mother complain about a smell and frowns, he can’t smel much.
“Should I open a window?” Yixing offers, standing.

“It won’t make a difference,” his mother replies harshly.

“Can you not speak to him like that?” His omega mother defends, walking from
where she had been to Yixing’s side. She loops her arm with his and holds him
close. “Do you have to be like this with him all the time?”

“I don’t mean it. It’s just that Yixing smells so strongly of him. His scent is
everywhere in my home. Everywhere I don’t want him to be.” Her nostrils flare
as an anxious sweat prickles around Yixing’s neck until it beads. Probably
making the scent worse for his mothers. “And I can’t move past it like you can.
All this scent reminds me of is how messed up our son’s life is? He hasn’t even
had his first heat yet and he’s having a baby.”

Yixing’s face is overrun with blood as he flushes deeply with embarrassment, he
can’t look at his mother, not in the eye. He decides to stare at her feet and
clench his fingers around the hems of his jeans. He doesn’t want to say
anything. But, it seems futile.

Yixing’s omega mother gasps, and it’s like she knows, like she can see right
through him. “Xing, please tell me you haven’t...”

“Haven’t what?” His other mother asks dumbly, angrily.

Yixing nods his head and he feels his mother’s arm slip away from where it had
been linked with his own. She makes a choking sound before she, too, starts to
bawl her eyes out.

“What the hell is happening here?” His alpha mother’s lost question only makes
Yixing more fearful of her reaction. “Can someone please tell me what’s going
on?”

“He’s had his first heat,” his omega mother almost wails.

Yixing squeals when his alpha mother grabs his wrists and pins them to his
sides, her nails digging slightly into the flesh of his outer arm.

“Tell me you weren’t that stupid, Yixing. Right now, tell me the truth. Did you
have your first heat?” Yixing nods, lips trembling, still unable to look up
from the ground. “Were you with him?”

Yixing nods again.

And, he flinches when he’s released, an instinctive part of him saying that the
furious alpha will hurt him. He knows his mother wouldn’t, but it doesn’t stop
him from fearing it.

“You little dunce. You stupid, stupid boy,” she growls, and Yixing whimpers
even more. “I can’t believe that we raised such a thick-headed child. You were
brought up to be better than this, to be more than an omega who’d get into bed
with any alpha during his heat.”

“That’s too far,” his omega mother hisses through her own tears. “That’s your
own son you’re talking about.”

“It’s true, though. We didn’t raise Yixing to be like this. So either he rolled
over as soon as he was asked to or that man has been coercing our child into
sex.”

“Will you stop saying that?” His smaller mother whimpers. “Will you stop making
him feel bad about himself?”

“He spent his first heat with a stranger!”

“Yifan is not a stranger,” Yixing finally snaps, too tired and worn down to
think straight. “Do you think I would let myself be that vulnerable with
someone I don’t know and trust? I’ve been with him for almost two years and
I’ve known him for longer than that. He isn’t someone that just plucked me from
the street. Yes, I understand that he’s older than me and that’s something
Yifan actively talks to me about. But don’t act like I don’t know him.”

“Yixing, two years is still a very short amount of time. Especially to know if
you want to have a baby with someone.”

“I know. Stop talking to me like I don’t realise these things. I’m aware that
I’m young. I’m aware that I’m going to have this child with me for the rest of
my life. I’m aware that I have made mistakes. I understand why you’re angry and
why you don’t like Yifan. But not everything is his fault. Stop acting as if
I’ve had no part in making the baby that’s inside of me. I wanted to have sex
with Yifan and, this may be shocking to both of you, I enjoy having sex with
him. And even if we don’t end up together, I know he would never leave me on my
own with a child. If you knew him, you’d know that.”

Yixing’s parents gaped at him, completely awash with white, and he crumpled,
feeling hollow and heartbroken all of a sudden.

“I want to see Yifan and I’m going to do that now. I want to be around someone
who doesn’t make me feel like I should hate myself.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing’s a blubbering mess when Yifan’s called down to the security office of
the main university gate. He whimpers at the sight of Yixing and holds him
close to his chest, kissing every one of Yixing’s fingers. There’s a gentle
sigh from Yixing as he’s picked up from his seat. He wraps his legs and arms
around Yifan, keeping his head tucked into his boyfriend’s neck, and he feels
comforted as he’s carried outside.
He stays latched onto the alpha when they reach his dorm, pulling him down to
cuddle as Yifan tries to place him down on the bed. Yixing whines and tugs
until Yifan lays on top of him, covering him with warmth. Whilst Yifan’s wiping
away Yixing’s tears, Yixing kisses the side of his mouth softly.
“Want to talk about it?” Yifan hums when he finally begins to nuzzle into
Yixing’s neck, sharing their scents until they’d probably smell identical.
Yifan listens, looking Yixing in the eyes, as he recounts everything that’s
unfolded between him and his parents, and Yifan’s attentive to every waver in
Yixing’s voice. He feels weightless when he’s done, able to have Yifan as his
anchor to keep him near the ground. It’s easier to fall asleep like that, safe
and sound.
 
It tickles to feel Yifan’s hair and lips skim across Yixing’s stomach, on the
bare skin that’s been revealed by Yifan pushing up the bottom of one of Yifan’s
shirts that Yixing had slept in. They’ve barely been awake for twenty minutes
and Yixing’s far happier than he has been for a while. And, even though it’s
barely more than cells, Yixing’s stomach doesn’t clench up. It’s like their
baby is happy its parents are together.
Yixing can only agree with what his stomach feels. There’s something about
being surrounded by Yifan’s scent that’s far more comfortable than anything
else. Even the scent of his own mothers, the scent of unconditional love. But,
Yifan’s dorm room is edged with warmth and all of their intimate moments.
Maybe, Yixing thinks as he watches Yifan kiss around his belly button and
across the little bump, it’s the baby recognising Yifan’s dorm as home in its
developing instincts. He knows the baby is probably too early on in its
development to feel any such thing. Still, Yifan laughs lightly when Yixing
voices what he’s thinking about, mumbling a simple, “Maybe,” onto Yixing’s
skin.
Like when Yixing would sneak off to Yifan during his school breaks, Yixing
stays behind in Yifan’s room when the alpha heads out to his classes, and he
works on his homework. It’s easy to concentrate in Yifan’s bed, draped in
Yifan’s clothes and sipping the weird chocolate and lime flavoured tea Yifan
drinks. Yixing gets more of his work done than he expected and ends up on
Yifan’s laptop, looping music and watching silly videos on the internet.
That’s what it feels like to be devoid of stress, if only for a day or two, and
Yixing feels much better about himself.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Lu Han dives onto Yifan’s bed with Yixing when he lets himself into the room.
Minseok follows in closely behind and gives Yixing a short hug. They tell him
to get up, to get washed in the shower and put some clean clothes on. Both of
them coo when Yixing stands up and is engulfed by the Nike shirt Yifan had lent
him, telling him that he looks like the epitome of an omega - drowning in
oversized clothes from an alpha, carrying a pregnancy scent, and looking soft
across all his features. Still, they make sure Yixing washes his hair and style
it, using a tonne of hairspray.
He’s given a pair of Lu Han’s jeans to wear - which Lu Han labels his holiday
jeans because they’re slightly bigger around the waist (which gives way for Lu
han to note that the jeans have upgraded from holding a food baby to an actual
baby.) - and another of Yifan’s shirts.
Minseok tells Yixing that they’re going to pick Yifan up from basketball
practise, so they can all head out to have hot pot together. Lu Han calls it a
double date and Minseok hits him lightly, and Yixing feels enamoured by the two
of them together. They bracket Yixing as they walk through the dark evening,
both of them looping arms with him, and they ask Yixing about everything. They
talk about Yifan, too, and still somehow avoid talking about what Yifan’s been
like since he found out Yixing was having his baby.
Other than a story about how Yifan had sobbed when he showed them his copy of
the ultrasound scan, too happy to do anything over than weep over his pea-sized
baby. They try to make it sound a little ridiculous. Yet, all Yixing can think
about is how much he loves Yifan for loving their baby so much already.
They don’t quieten as students leave Yifan’s lecture hall, a few of them gazing
at Yixing curiously, wondering who he is, and Yixing’s ready to hide behind the
two other omegas he’s with until he senses Yifan about to come through the
doors. He doesn’t shy away when he’s picked up and kissed with a quick flick of
a tongue to his own. Lu Han makes a vomiting sound and Yifan puts Yixing back
down on the floor.
The hot pot restaurant is just outside the university gates, so it only takes
them fifteen minutes to get from Yifan’s classroom to the table they’ll be sat
at. Minseok’s the one to fill out the checklist menu and head to the
restaurant’s sauce stand just around the corner. Lu Han talks, constantly.
Yixing sits quietly, half on Yifan’s lap with his head resting on Yifan’s
shoulder.
One of Yifan’s arms is around Yixing’s shoulder, his hand in front of Yixing’s
mouth. So, when the large pot - half spicy, half plain broth - is boiling in
front of them, Yixing bites Yifan’s thumb lightly to let him move forward. He
isn’t allowed, though, as Yifan uses his free arm to load the plain broth up
with potatoes and dunk some thinly sliced beef into the spicy side. He feeds
Yixing everything Yixing would normally eat when having hot pot. Lu Han and
Minseok both clearly notice, yet, neither say a thing about it.
In fact, Minseok starts to do the same with Lu Han, and Lu Han looks very much
the same colour as the uncooked beef. Almost pink all over.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing stays with Yifan for a few days, using Yifan’s phone to send his mothers
short updates about himself, as Yifan said he should. On the weekends, Yifan
doesn’t have classes, there’s nothing to rush, Yixing can spend his time
covering himself entirely with the alpha. Yifan pampers him and barely lets him
do a thing, like he’s a little prince to be waited on hand and foot.
It’s like magic in Yixing’s body each time he’s kissed. He welcomes Yifan’s
mouth to his own each time, enjoying the way they both smile into the liplock.
It’s gentle, mostly. Though, Yixing sometimes nibbles on Yifan’s lower lip,
which makes the alpha laugh and kiss Yixing’s cheeks. It’s a wonderfully gentle
afternoon that they meander through on Yifan’s bed. Yixing feels adored to his
bone marrows, like Yifan can seep in through his skin.
They shower in the evening, soaping one another up until Yifan crouches to kiss
Yixing’s stomach more times than he ever has before. It slips by slowly, with
the warm water coming out in wild spray and Yifan’s cheap shampoo smelling like
mild chemicals and coconut. Yixing likes it, though, it feels intimate. He
feels closer to Yifan, more so than he ever has before.
Yifan leads Yixing out of the shower and towels himself down. Without the cloak
of the shower spray and hot mist, Yixing feels more naked than he did before.
He stands shyly in the centre of the room, trying to angle himself away from
Yifan in a moment of insecurity, fully aware of how some parts of him have
bloated and swelled a little. His ankles, mostly, but his hips had widened a
small bit, too. Yifan doesn’t seem to mind when he sits on the bed, hooks his
arms around Yixing’s waist and pulls Yixing to stand between his legs. Yixing’s
fingers curl into Yifan’s shoulders and Yifan keeps him close. The intensity to
Yifan’s gaze and posture makes Yixing flush, a little too overwhelmed by it.
Still, there’s something about Yifan and the way he loves Yixing. It’s sincere
and never enough to suffocate either of them. Instead, all Yixing can do is
feel it in the way Yifan’s hands move to feel up his bare, wet back and down to
the tender skin of his thighs.
Something prickles in Yixing’s lower stomach, which only fuels his
embarrassment as he tries to clamour over the way Yifan looks up at him, even
when he doesn’t feel at his most attractive. It’s a heat, Yixing figures, and
it sparks and flames from that deep well in Yixing’s tummy. It’s soft arousal.
Yixing knows Yifan can sense it because he smiles, with half his mouth and in
wonder.
Yifan’s hands move up and down the backs of Yixing’s thighs, almost like he’s
trying to dry Yixing off with his skin, and it makes the omega shudder.
He’s sure it’s pregnancy hormones, all of which are running riot under Yixing’s
skin, so he leans his stomach towards Yifan’s chest, hoping to keep the most
evident sign of his arousal hidden away. Yifan’s smile only grows wider as
Yixing begins to fluster, one of his hands skims around to Yixing’s front and
touches up the front of his thigh. He teases down the crease around Yixing’s
groin and Yixing slaps his fingers away ever so gently.
“You’re cute,” Yifan announces as he wraps his arms around Yixing’s waist
again. “You’re beautiful, too.”
“Are you trying to make me even more embarrassed?” Yixing huffs and shuffles
forward until he cannot move much more. Yifan’s breath moves across his ribs
and little pimples of gooseflesh rise up, thanks to Yixing’s sensitivity.
“No, just making a couple of observations,” Yifan says instead of teasing
Yixing, only showing a sincerity that serves to stir more of Yixing’s blood to
boil. “Looking after you, having you in front of me, makes me feel so much
better.”
“Now you’re being cute,” Yixing whispered, as he shifted to sit on Yifan’s bare
thighs, rather than stand between them. “What’s all this softness about.”
“Just trying to appreciate you whilst you’re here.”
Yixing puts his forehead to Yifan’s and closes his eyes. He’s expecting a kiss
and he grumbles when one isn’t pressed to his mouth. He opens his eyes and sees
Yifan staring up at him, slightly cross-eyed but smiling.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” Yixing pouts and Yifan’s shoulders shrug under
his hands.
“You can just kiss me yourself, you know?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Is Yixing’s complaint and Yifan lets out a small
snap of laughter.
“Fine then, you want to be kissed?”
Yixing nods and he can’t stop himself from grinning as he is lifted and put
back onto the bed, against the rumpled duvet. Yifan crawls on top of him and
holds Yixing’s jaw as he leans down to kiss him. It’s with a short satisfied
sigh that Yifan’s tongue dips into Yixing’s mouth. He brings his own arms
around Yifan to hold him in place. However, that’s just the moment that the
alpha pulls back.
“Well then, I need to kiss you everywhere else, too, then.” Yifan finally
teases and Yixing rolls his eye.
Though, he doesn’t say stop as Yifan’s mouth moves over the exposed parts of
Yixing’s skin. Down his arms, across his wrists and back up again. All over
Yixing’s chest, lingering - if only slightly - longer on the more sensitive
areas. In every direction on Yixing’s stomach and sides. The length of the
outer parts of his legs, then slowly, just enough to make Yixing whimper a
handful of times, up the soft curves of Yixing’s thighs. A couple of bites are
put there too, all of which have Yixing’s throat clenching up.
Yifan’s mouth stays in the upper thigh region of Yixing’s body and it’s so
dizzying that Yixing almost feels like his heat has hit. He knowsit’s his body
reacting to the father of his child, to the alpha he’s put all of his trust in
by choice.
The omega makes a short, high-pitched noise when Yifan parts his thighs and
pulls Yixing’s legs over his shoulder. In his shy arousal, Yixing can see how
Yifan’s pupils dilate, and how he runs his tongue along his lower lip, when the
scent from Yixing’s small ebb of slick dances through the air.
“This much?” Yifan asks, surprised by how much Yixing appears to want him.
“It’s the baby,” Yixing responds dumbly and Yifan’s eyebrows shoot up. That’s
when Yixing corrects, “The pregnancy, you understood what I meant.”
Instead of giving Yixing a verbal answer, Yifan goes back to kissing and biting
Yixing’s thighs, sometimes stopping just to smell the thick, hormone-filled
self-lubricant that came out of the omega at a steady pace. Everything moves
slowly. It always has, given Yifan’s love for foreplay and learning what Yixing
adores the most.
It isn’t one of those times where Yixing is desperately scrabbling around on
Yifan’s back with his nails, or whimpering with urgent need, but Yixing can
feel the burning within him rise in heat. Over and over. Which only worsens
tenfold when Yifan runs his nose up the side of Yixing’s hard, omega cock.
Yixing’s thighs twitch to cover himself and Yifan lets him as he sits up onto
his knees, Yixing’s legs cross over to hide his cock in embarrassment.
“What’s wrong?” Yifan moves to lay by Yixing’s side and Yixing can see how
Yifan has positioned his body, so his own arousal wouldn’t push against Yixing.
“Do you,” Yixing mumbles, “do you have to touch it?”
“Of course not,” Yifan reassures Yixing and the omega calms a little. Yifan
smiles at him, humming, “We’ll only do what you want, like always.”
“Okay,” Yixing nods his head and slips his legs a little further apart. “It’s
sensitive today.”
“It’s always sensitive. It’s cute,” Yifan comments and Yixing gapes at him.
“Not all of us can be alphas like you,” Yixing rebuts and Yifan moves himself
so that he’s hovering over Yixing, looking right in his eyes.
“No, no, I think it’s a beautiful little omega cock,” Yifan tells him and
Yixing doesn’t know whether to cover his face or start to laugh. “I like it, a
lot.”
“What kind of compliment is that supposed to be, Ge?” Yixing snorts after his
initial shyness wears off. “You’re weird.”
“I can’t help it, every part of you is cute and handsome!” Yifan laughs
proudly, skimming his hand down Yixing’s stomach. “I hope our baby is an omega
like you. Wouldn’t that just be perfect? I don’t know what my heart would do if
it had two omegas to love. I think it’d explode.”
Just like that, the intensity in Yifan’s eyes returns and Yixing can only think
about kissing him. So, instead of waiting for Yifan to kiss him, Yixing makes
the first move and lifts his head up to put his mouth to Yifan’s. The omega
shudders lightly as Yifan pulls him slightly upright and Yixing follows him
easily, not wanting to move apart yet.
Yifan slips his hands underneath Yixing’s ass and pulls him onto his lap, their
fronts flush together, and Yixing’s erection presses against Yifan’s larger
one.
“Is this kind of touching okay?” Yifan pulls away to ask, mouth slipping to the
bottom edge of Yixing’s jaw and nipping at it gently. Yixing nods, grinding his
hips lightly and watching how Yifan’s lips quiver.
Yixing takes a peeking look down, watching his own cock twitch gently as he
looks at it in comparison to Yifan’s, and all Yixing can think about is how he
never really believed his biology teacher that the difference could be so vast.
At least, until he saw Yifan naked for the first time. But, it still has him
slightly in awe.
He knows he’s staring, but he just can’t quite help it. The way his own cock
jolts slightly and knocks against Yifan’s makes his heart flutter, and that
only seems to make Yifan’s do the same.
The only thing that gets him looking away is Yifan’s hands that bring him to
Yifan’s mouth. They kiss and grind together slightly until Yixing can’t feel
his mouth anymore and some of his slick has printed onto Yifan’s legs. He pulls
back and tilts his head to the side.
“We’ve been taking even longer than usual,” Yixing complains in an attempt to
get Yifan to settle between his hips already. “I’ve been ready for a while.”
Yifan stops for a moment and blinks.
Yixing waits for Yifan to shake his head before he props himself up on his
elbows, getting a more comfortable look at the alpha.
“I’m not going to have sex with you.” It’s straight to the point and Yixing’s
confidence crumbles a little. He can see that Yifan senses it because Yifan
lifts Yixing’s foot to kiss his ankle. “That’s not because I don’t want to,
believe me, it’s because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But, but, we’ve done it loads of times before…”
“You weren’t pregnant then, Xing. I had more control then but, right now, my
instincts want me to claim you. They want you and our baby to be bonded to me.”
“You don’t have to put your knot in, like you normally don’t,” Yixing senses
himself whining, and Yifan takes a deep breath in.
“Xing, you don’t understand how perfectyou look and smell like this. I’m
worried I won’t be able to stop myself if I start. Please don’t push me because
I don’t know what I would do if I hurt you..”
At the genuine concern in Yifan’s voice, Yixing smiles and brings his foot out
of Yifan’s grasp, telling him, “It’s okay, we don’t have to do anything.”
“I still want to,” Yifan stumbles, speaking so quickly all the words slur
together. “I’m… Do you trust me?”
Yixing pulls his eyebrows together and says yes.
“Do you trust me to make you feel good?”
Even more confused, Yixing lets another yes slip out.
Yifan kisses up Yixing’s legs again and tells him to relax, to lay back and
enjoy what Yifan’s about to do. Yixing isn’t sure what’s happening but does
what he’s asked to. He squeals and jolts when Yifan buries his face right
between his legs and noses his way to Yixing’s ass, where he licks flatly
against Yixing’s entrance.
The alpha has never done that to him before, so everything feels so foreign,
like the first time Yifan fingered him or when Yixing lost his virginity. It
doesn’t feel quite the same, though. Yifan’s tongue is hot and soft, lapping up
all of the slick that had slowly accumulated. The shocked noises turn to moans
very quickly, his body reacting so easily to Yifan’s tongue. The more noise
Yixing seems to make, the more slick slips out of him to Yifan’s waiting mouth.
Yixing doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he grabs at whatever fabric
is closest to him and clamps down on it, trying to gain some more sense of
himself.
He isn’t quite able to manage that, as Yifan begins to sit up and takes
Yixing’s hips with him, tongue still trying to lap up all of Yixing’s
lubricant. It doesn’t help that Yifan’s moaning, too. It seems the more Yifan
can taste, the more his arousal spikes in the air, and it feels like an endless
cycle of lust to Yixing.
The alpha buries himself deeper between Yixing’s legs, his nose pushed up
against Yixing’s perineum and Yixing isn’t quite sure if Yifan can even
breathe.
“Gege,” Yixing’s calls out weakly, trying to articulate that the telltale signs
of an orgasm are upon him.
Yifan pulls back, face glistening slightly under the bedroom light and Yixing
covers his eyes. The sight is a little too lewd for him, especially with the
alpha licking his lips like it’s a treat. Still, Yixing can feel the pressure
in his lower abdomen fade away as his urge to orgasm dissipates.
Yixing still wants to cum, though. His cock is still hard and his ass, while he
isn’t exactly sure how that feels but he knows he wants Yifan’s face there
again. He shyly lifts his hips up, hoping the alpha will get his cue.
Rather than going back in with his tongue, Yifan tells Yixing to roll over and
lay face first against the pillows. Hoping to get more of the feeling of
Yifan’s mouth on his ass again, he obeys quickly, and lets Yifan move him
around until he’s propped up on his knees with his blushing face still in the
pillow.
Drawing another shocked yelp from Yixing’s throat, Yifan’s tongue thrusts
inside the omega and his teeth skim against Yixing’s rim. Slick that Yixing had
been able to keep inside of him rushed out into Yifan’s mouth and Yixing could
feel it dribble down his thighs. It feels like he’s on his heat, unable to do
much more than grind back on Yifan’s face until Yixing’s tongue rocks slightly
deeper inside of him.
Moans turn into whines that are so broken that Yixing’s tongue feels tied. He
wants to tell Yifan how good it feels but the words just don’t string together.
He feels Yifan panting too, all too hot against Yixing’s entrance an making the
omega’s thighs tremble as he tries to keep himself upright. He jolts again when
something touches his foot and it feels like Yifan’s knee is pressing into the
curve of Yixing’s sole, he almost drags his foot away until he feels Yifan’s
knee begin to drag up and down.
It’s only when Yifan stops licking Yixing and pants, “Xing,” against Yixing’s
skin, which causes him to look around to see what his alpha is doing to him,
that Yixing realises that the “knee” on his foot is the swell of Yifan’s knot.
He can barely see Yifan’s face but the alpha is trembling, thrusting into
Yixing’s foot as if he doesn’t realise he’s doing it. Yixing whimpers,
whispering Yifan’s name and the alpha looks up at him.
Even from where Yixing’s leaning against the mattress, he can see how blown
Yifan’s pupils are and he can see the control Yifan had warned him about on the
verge of snapping. Yixing moves his foot in an alternate rhythm to Yifan, which
has the alpha almost buckling onto Yixing’s backside.
Yifan cums with a deep rumble that fades into a whine, Yixing can feel it land
up his leg, the knot pulsing wildly under his heel and Yifan’s nose buries
itself back in between Yixing’s ass. His tongue twitches and tries to lay flat
inside Yixing, he rubs as gently as the dying pulses coming from his knot and
Yixing shifts in time with it.
The actions of Yifan’s mouth are less like that of someone eating when
ravenous. The edge has worn off and it’s less sharp from Yifan, Yixing can feel
it as Yifan focuses on Yixing’s prostate.
Yixing collapses down onto the bed when he cums, crying out with his eyes
screwed up tightly, and Yifan’s hands run up and down his back. The omega is
still panting and numb down to his toes when Yifan cleans them both up and is
scenting his neck lazily.
“You’ve never done that before,” is the first thing Yixing says and Yifan huffs
out a laugh.
“I know,” he mumbles as he nuzzles in. “Did you like it?”
“I still can’t feel my fingers,” Yixing snorts and Yifan lifts his hands up to
kiss his knuckles. “I didn’t expect that to happen tonight.”
“Me neither. I thought I would be able to resist more than that, to stay
concentrated on you.” Yixing can hear the gentle scolding Yifan directs at
himself. “I hope you still felt good, though.”
“I like it when we both have fun, Ge. It doesn’t have to be about me, it can be
about you, too.”
Yifan doesn’t reply, instead he spreads kisses over Yixing’s neck and chest,
humming and moving down to put his head on Yixing’s stomach.
“Are you sleeping there, again?” The alpha turns over and looks up at Yixing,
smiling, giving him a silent yes, and Yixing’s heart melts into a large puddle.
Yixing reaches over and turns off the light, letting that hand bury into
Yifan’s hair on its return.
Yixing doesn’t want to leave, to break out of the sanctuary he has with Yifan,
and he lets out a soft sound of sadness straight from his throat. Yifan takes
the hand from his hair and holds it, in a silent promise to stay by Yixing’s
side.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Reality comes all too quickly the next morning when Yifan takes Yixing out for
breakfast, the alpha shuffling nervously until they get to the restaurant and
Yixing smells his parents before he sees them.
“It’ll be okay, I swear.” Yixing doesn’t quite believe what Yifan says as his
parents stand to greet them. “Please don’t hate me for this. It’s for the best,
okay?”
Both Yixing’s mothers crowd around him, fussing over him and sharing their
scents between the three of them. Both of them look like they’ve barely slept
when they pull back, touching his cheeks and whining to their son. One of
Yixing’s hands is still joined with Yifan’s and he doesn’t quite know what to
say. He feels guilty, knowing both of them were more worn down by the distance
between them than he was. They both seem happy to see him, too. Whereas, Yixing
only fears what’s to come. It’s a daunting position for him to be in and he’s
suddenly aware that he probably should have been more sensitive to thinking
about how his parents feel being away from him.
He should be sad, too. He should have been wanting to make amends, too. He
should feel more happiness at the sight of his mothers, too.
Yixing doesn’t know what to do. He panics and he frets and he flusters over
everything he does and doesn’t feel. The omega turns and tucks himself into
Yifan’s side, burying his head in his boyfriend’s chest and he sobs. It upsets
him because everything feels like its too much for him and Yifan makes things
simpler - in his head, at least.
It’s Yifan who guides Yixing to sit down once he’s taken their coats off. It’s
also Yifan who pours and gives him a glass of water as he pats away Yixing’s
tears with a napkin. Yixing’s mothers are still stood, Yixing can sense it, and
their confusion mixed with hurt is palpable. Yifan only lets him go to stand up
and bow deeply to Yixing’s parents, waiting until Yixing’s alpha mother clears
her throat before correcting his posture. Yixing watches through teary eyes as
his boyfriend motions for the mated pair to sit and comes back to Yixing’s
side.
“I think he’s a bit overwhelmed,” his omega mother comments and Yifan hums in
agreement, giving Yixing more water in his half empty cup.
“I’m sorry… I,” Yixing tries to come up with an excuse but has none, “I wasn’t
expecting either of you to be here.”
“Yifan said he was worried you wouldn’t come, if you knew.” The smaller mother
smiles gently at him, covering the pain hearing that must be causing her. “We
simply wanted to see you for ourselves and make sure you were okay.”
“...And convince me to come home?” Yixing guesses and his alpha mother is the
one that nods.
“It’s where you should be,” she says, far calmer than she was when Yixing had
been at home. “You need to be looked after.”
“Yifan can look after me. Right, Ge?”
Yixing turns to look at his boyfriend, who has his head bowed. “I can only do
so much for you, Xing. You should listen to your parents.”
It feels like those words leave a bee sting on Yixing’s heart and he whimpers
limply, withdrawing his hand from Yifan’s fingers. Yifan closes the space
between them reactively, gaining a growl from Yixing’s alpha mother and he
hesitates before skimming his thumb over where Yixing’s dimple is.
“It’s not that I don’t want you with me, at all. I just want what’s best for
you and our baby, which isn’t living in my dorm room and living without your
parents.” Yifan’s explanation makes sense, though, it doesn’t ease the pain to
have Yifan push him away. Even if he says it’s for the right reasons. Yixing’s
tears continue to slip down. Yifan continues to wipe them all up. “Please,
listen to your parents here, okay?”
Yixing turns his head to look at them and they both give weak smiles, though,
their eyes burn onto where Yifan’s touching him. He knows things won’t be easy
when they start to talk and he doesn’t know if he will be able to stand what
they have to say.
“We also agreed to this,” Yixing’s omega mother holds her mate’s hands as she
talks, showing that it was a joint decision, “because the last thing we want is
for you to be unhappy. We think we’ve come up with a compromise that we hope
you’ll consider, so we can have you back home where you belong.”
Yixing’s alpha mother grinds her jaw and runs a hand through her long hair,
glancing fiercely at Yifan before softening as she gets to her son. Yixing
shifts in his seat and waits for her to speak.
“As your parents, we know what’s best for you. We know you better than you
think we do and it’ll be some time, maybe when your own child is your age now,
before you realise that what we have done - and what we will continue to do -
is with your best interests at heart.” She sits up straight and Yixing knows
what she says next will be completely clear and concise. She’s always the
bearer of news and the enforcer of rules, Yixing’s well aware of that. “We want
you to break up with Yifan.”
“If the two of you break up, we will allow Yifan to visit you once a week in
the apartment and attend all prenatal appointments from here on out,” the alpha
firmly relays, with confidence in her words. “As your parents, we cannot turn a
blind eye to the vast differences in maturity between the two of you, we cannot
accept this.” She gestures to the closeness between them. “I’m sure Yifan’s
parents feel the same.”
The last sentence makes Yixing’s heart drop and Yifan’s eyes close for a
moment.
“What do your parents think about this, Yifan?”
Yifan flounders for a minute and when he does open up his eyes, he’s looking
down at the clean crockery. “I wouldn’t know.”
“Have you not told them?” Yixing’s alpha mother bites out, an anger rising in
both her voice and eyes. “Are you that bad of a so-”
“Mama, Yifan’s an orphan,” Yixing whispers meekly, weaving his fingers between
his boyfriend’s. “Can you please not talk about this?”
“Oh,” is all she sighs out, very little sympathy in the action. “I guess that
explains a lot.”
“Mama!” Yixing’s eyes widen and Yifan stands up suddenly.
“Excuse me, I, uh, I need to go… I need to go to the bathroom.”
Before Yixing can reach out to Yifan again, he’s gone, across the restaurant
floor and into the Alpha restroom.
“Yixing, you can’t seriously be having a baby with a man that doesn’t even know
how to live in a family? He’s had no jiajiao.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“But we do, Xing,” Yixing’s omega mother reminds him. “We take these things
very seriously. And, it explains where you’ve developed this petulant nature
from. If Yifan has no family of his own, that means he would be joining ours
and you know we take upbringing very seriously.”
“That’s not his fault,” Yixing tries to defend, nose prickling with frustrated
sadness. “He can’t help that he doesn’t have any parents.”
“Honey, we know that. However, think about how your child will be raised… Yifan
won’t be able to father a child properly because he’s never had it done for
him.”
“Don’t say things like that. Both of you. Would you want me to be treated this
way if the roles were reversed? If I was the orphan and Yifan’s family would
use that as an excuse to ostracise me, if that’s how things were, would you
want this for me?”
“But that’s not the situation, is it?”
Yixing can see the bathroom door open and Yifan steps out, head ducked down
lower than usual. Yixing can just tell he’s hurting and the omega wants to
comfort him, like Yifan’s done for him so many times.
“Why can’t you see where I’m coming from?” He asks, hoping for Yifan to get
closer faster. “Why can’t you see how much I care about him?”
“Yixing, he’s not good enough for you,” his alpha mother roars, stopping Yifan
in his tracks as he makes his way back. “He wasn’t smart enough to stop you
from getting pregnant. He doesn’t have enough to support you. He’s not good
enough for anyone of his own maturity level, so he’s gone for someone that’s
easy to fool. He won’t give you a good and happy family because he’s never been
in one himself. He’s not good for anything. He’s useless to you.”
It takes barely a moment for Yifan to get back to the table and Yixing reaches
out for him, but gets shaken off.
“Xing, your parents are right. ” Yifan smiles sadly, picking up his jacket.
“You should go home with them. I can’t give you what you need, at all.”
Yixing doesn’t think it can hurt anymore until his alpha mother says, “See, and
he’s even walked out on you when you’re pregnant with his child.”
And Yixing’s never felt smaller.
 
***** two *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Yixing doesn’t want to get out of his bed. He can hear his parents arguing
about it outside his door, one of his mothers demanding that he get up and
carry on with his life, the other saying that he needs time to himself. Yixing
doesn’t care much anymore. There’s such a hollow feeling in his chest and no
tears left for him to cry, everything simply feels...grey.
He hides further under his duvet when his bedroom door opens up, trying to stay
as still as he can when he senses his omega mother come close to the edge of
his bed. She sits down next to him and rubs his shoulder gently.
“Honey,” she speaks softly, “do you want to get up for school?”
Yixing doesn’t reply and she exhales deeply, not even trying to stifle her
tiredness with his reaction.
“Are you really going to give up on your education because of a silly alpha?”
She sighs, laying down next to Yixing and curling around his balled up body.
“You need to think about your future, and your baby’s. You need to do well at
school so you can provide a comfortable life for your child.”
Each word numbs his heart more and more, making him feel emptier where he had
felt so thoroughly loved when he had woken up with Yifan the morning before.
“I don’t want to get up,” he grumbles with his sadness roughened voice. “I want
to be alone.”
“No, you don’t,” his mother hums as she pulls the covers down and turns Yixing
over. Yixing knows she can see how red and puffy his face is, and Yixing sees
how heartbrokenly she frowns. “Oh, honey. He’s just a boy.”
It isn’t like Yixing expects her to understand how he feels because he knows
she’s never been abandoned by anyone that means the world to her. Especially
not when Yixing had something developing inside him that constantly reminds him
of the person who left hi behind. He doesn’t want to get up because he doesn’t
think it’ll be worth the pain.
“You don’t have to go to school,” she whispers, as if keeping it a secret from
Yixing’s alpha mother that he can sense hovering out in the hallway. “We can
take the day off. Just, please, get up and eat some soup or porridge.”
“I don’t want to.”
“But your baby probably does, Xing. You barely ate yesterday, which isn’t
healthy, so you haveto eat today,” she shuffles around until she can get under
the duvet with him and draw him into her arms. “I know you’re feeling down and
hurt, but you can’t let that be a barrier to what you need to do. You need to
keep pushing forward because you have another person that is going to depend on
you soon.”
“And now I have to do that alone,” he reminds her and the tears he thought had
all disappeared came back in a sudden stinging rush. “I want Yifan, Mama.”
“Xing, he left. An-”
“You pushed him away from me, he didn’t want to go.” Yixing quibbles with his
lips trembling. “He left because you made him think he needed to.”
Yixing isn’t often critical of his parents’ actions, usually only focusing on
how it makes himself feel or the way it’ll make him feel in the future. He
rarely picked fault in what they actually did. He never complained when they
took his things away from him, but what had been so securely attached to him
had been torn away from his side.
He didn’t want to argue. He’s heard to much of it around him. He simply wants
it all to stop and go away.
“Maybe I shouldn’t even have this baby,” he sobs, looking at his stomach. “I
can’t do anything right by anyone as it is, a baby is just another person to
let down and not be good enough for.”
“You don’t mean that,” his mother tries to tell him and Yixing’s whole stomach
flips.
“I do. You’re always reminding me that I shouldn’t even be having this child,
you used my baby against my boyfriend to make him leave, I don’t have anything
to give to this child other than a family that won’t stop fighting and the
setback of being born when I’m not mated.” Yixing’s hands are shaking as all of
his thoughts spill out his mouth and he knows his alpha mother has come into
the room to listen. “I was happy before all of this. I had parents that loved
me, I had a boyfriend that adored me, I had a life that wasn’t marred by
constant yelling. I don’t even want this baby anymore.”
“Yixing,” his alpha mother whines in the back of her throat. “Don’t say things
like that.”
“Mama, I’m miserable. Completely and utterly miserable. It hurts to be like
this.”
“See, this is what that alpha has done to you and what mess he’s left behind…”
“No, look at what I’vedone to me. I wasn’t forced into anything, I was lied to
or coerced. I chose to be with Yifan, I chose to sleep with him, I chose to do
all of this. This baby was an accident, one that no one meant to happen, but it
did happen and it’s ruined everything for me. I want things to go back to how
they were. Stop acting like I can’t make mistakes, like I am so easily
manipulated and coaxed by others. It’s my fault, too.
“Neither of you have had to do this kind of thing alone, you’ve always had
someone to turn to when you’re feeling lost and lonely. I don’t have that
person anymore. I don’t have someone to support me and love me while I’m scared
and alone. I want my child to have a family, one that involves its biological
father because he’s not a bad person, and I know he would work his hardest to
make our baby happy. But I don’t have that chance anymore and I can’t do it
alone. I don’t want this baby anymore.”
“Calm down, honey.” His alpha mother comes closer and places herself down by
Yixing’s feet. “This is an emotional reaction and that’s okay, but don’t say
those kinds of thing so easily. I’m sure you love your baby already, so don’t
say things that will make you feel guilty when it’s born.”
“You’re not listeningto me,” Yixing all but wails. “I don’t want to have
something that will make me feel miserable for the rest of my life. You can’t
force me to either.”
“You know what, Yixing? You’re acting like a spoilt brat. Your mother and I
have tried our hardest for you for your whole life, we have said that we will
help you in any way we can with this baby and we have been continually trying
to push you in the right directions. You just seem to be content with throwing
that back in our faces. We have given everythingto give you a happy life.”
Yixing’s omega mother sits up when her mate finishes talking and storms out of
the room. She strokes through Yixing’s hair and dabs away all the wetness on
Yixing’s cheeks and chin.
“Your mother is trying her best,” she says after a while of quietness that’s
smattered with the sounds of Yixing’s sniffling. “She’s struggling with all of
this. She’s supposed to be, until you’ve matured, the alpha you go to for love
and comfort, not someone else. There are lots of things recently that have made
her feel insecure about her role in your life.
“When an omega has an alpha parent, that alpha is supposed to be the one that
protects you and gives you a sense of security during your first heat. She’s
not been able to do that, she wasn’t the one you went to when you were going
into your heat, you went to Yifan. She simply doesn’t understand, bar the
obvious, what Yifan can give you, as an alpha, that she can’t.”
“I can’t change the past, Mama,” Yixing whimpers sadly.
“No one expects that from you. All your mother wants is for you to need her,
like a little omega should need its alpha parent. I admit that she’s far more
heavy-handed than she needs to be, as well as being far more scathing, but
she’s still learning about being a parent. Her instincts are telling her
something very different than mine, mine want me to build you a nest for you
and your little family. She’s an alpha, like a mother bear, who wants to keep
everything away from you until you can look after yourself.”
“I don’t know what she wants me to do…”
“You’ll both understand each other one day, it just doesn’t seem like it’ll be
any time soon. So be patient with her and I’ll try my hardest to ensure that
she’s patient with you, too.”
“Thank you, Mama.” Yixing turns over and nuzzles into his mother, trying to
show her how much she means to him still.
“It’s okay, honey.” She pats his head. “You should get up, though, feed
yourself and we can talk about what you want to do about the baby on another
day. Right now, things happened fast and are still fresh, so give yourself some
time to recover before making concrete decisions.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
                                        
Yixing lets himself get coddled by his mother for a few days before going back
to school. He feels a bit better, knowing he has one of his parents on his
side, who listens to him instead of just hearing him speak. There’s still the
dark well that drains his emotions, like every laugh is broken and his eyes are
too dry to cry much more.
Jongdae and Tao collect him up in their arms, telling him not to be so tough on
himself, to eat more and sit staring into space less. They’re both surprised to
see Yixing has his phone back until Yixing’s heart pours out because Yifan
hasn’t sent him anything.It’s actually Tao that reminds Yixing that Yifan
doesn’t know Yixing has his phone again, and he encourages Yixing to send him a
message. Yixing doesn’t, though. He simply sits and flicks through his social
media feeds, heart aching a little more when he reads something Yifan put on
his weibo on the day of Yixing’s first prenatal appointment.
It’s a picture of the baby scan posted along with the last photo Yixing made
them take together on Yifan’s phone, with the tagline:“My little family.”
The pain Yixing feels from it is addictive, in a way. He wants it to keep
going, to keep hurting, because it makes it clear to himself how much he loves
Yifan. How much he does want to be part of Yifan’s first family. So, he reads
the comments. He sees people give their congratulations and some others leave
worried comments about their ages. Yifan doesn’t say a bad word in response to
anyone. He says how excited he is to be a dad. He says how happy he is that
it’s all with Yixing. He says how he can’t believe how lucky he is to have
people to love.
Yixing doesn’t message Yifan, not even after that, he just stares at Yifan’s
contact photo.
It’s almost as if he doesn’t have his phone back, that’s how little he uses it,
never getting any alerts about Yifan on there. It’s as if Yifan’s stopped
existing around Yixing and it’s everything Yixing has never wanted.
It’s half a week after Yixing has last seen Yifan when the first communication
is established, and it’s not from Yixing’s end. It’s from Yifan. It’s a phone
call that wakes Yixing up in the middle of the night and he stares at his
screen in confusion for so long the call rings out. It’s not too long after
then that he gets the notification of a voicemail.
He digs through his bedside drawer and gets his earphones out, sticking them in
his ears. He clicks through the automated system until he hears a voice that’s
so unmistakably Yifan’s thsf his head spins.
He sounds drunk, which is weird for Yixing because he knows Yifan hates the
taste of alcohol, and Yixing can tell by his voice that he’s been crying.
“Baby,” Yifan slurs out. “Miss you, so much. Hope you’re okay. Baby, too.
Worried ‘bout you. Always thinking about you. Don’t want to lose you. Want to
be yours and baby’s, don’t want to be not good enough. M’sorry. I…I love you.”
Yixing covers his mouth and chokes on nothing. The sound of his heart breaking
is almost audible and he scrambles to call Yifan back, hoping the alpha will
answer.
When he does, Yixing holds his breath.
“Xing? Baby?”
He chokes again and nods his head, “Gege.”
“You okay? Is baby healthy?” Yixing’s happy to listen to the clunky wording of
Yifan’s sentences when it feels like it’s been an eternity since he last heard
the alpha speak to him. “Healthy?”
“We are doing fine,” Yixing tells him and Yifan practically purrs. “What about
you?”
“M’drunk. In Lu Han’s room. Too hard to go to mine.”
“Why’s that, Gege?”
“Smells like you. Everywhere. Can’t sleep, want you there.”
“You didn’t have to leave me,” Yixing cries gently.
“Don’t cry, baby. Gege will get sad too.”
“It hurts, Yifan.”
“I know, baby, I know. Hurts me, too.”
“Then come back to me, Yifan,” Yixing whispers and it seems to be enough for
Yifan to break down slightly. It feels terrible. “We want to be together, so we
should be together.”
“Better alphas, so many better alphas.”
“None that compare to you, Ge. Please come back to me.”
“You’re perfect,” Yifan mumbles under his breath, light enough that Yixing
strains to hear it. “Too good for me.”
“I love you.”
That seems to throw Yifan off, if only slightly, before he says it back with
complete confidence. Like he’s got something off his chest and Yixing goes to
say more but there’s another voice. Yixing thinks it’s Minseok telling Yifan to
shut up and Yixing giggles when Yifan growls ever so lightly.
“Should go.”
“Get some sleep, Ge, and we can talk tomorrow.”
“Promise?”
“Pinky,” Yixing says with a smile.
It takes a while for the call to disconnect, and Yixing’s sure it’s because
neither of them want it to end. So he lays there and listens to Yifan breathe
for as long as he can. Even when his phone beeps to signify the end of the
call, Yixing keeps his earphones in his ears, in slight shock that he could
speak to Yifan, even if Yifan may not remember it in the morning.
There’s a pleasant feeling in Yixing’s body as he drifts off, warmth drips
through him until it’s so hot under his skin that he feels like he’s surrounded
by Yifan. Hearing Yifan’s voice, hearing him say that he loves Yixing, is
enough to fill some of that empty pit in. It’s something only Yifan seems to be
able to bring him when he’s teetering on the edge of complete negativity. It’s
comfort and it safety, easily able to ground him and keep him steady.
When Yixing wakes in the morning, he has a single message.
 
哥哥：
Please don’t say last night was a dream…
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
                                        
Yixing talks to his mother about Yifan a lot more than he did. She asks more
questions, too. He explains how they met when Yixing was fourteen and Yifan was
visiting Changsha from Guangzhou to look at the university. He describes their
first romantic date and how Yifan was too shy to even hold Yixing’s hand when
it was offered to him. He tells her about how good Yifan has been for him, for
his confidence and self-belief. It’s the first time his omega mother seems
invested in what Yixing sees in Yifan.
“Yifan collects people,” is something Lu Han said to Yixing when he last stayed
with the alpha. “He gathers up people that need something and he gives it to
them, unconditionally.”
It’s that which Yixing shares, using Lu Han’s words to try and show Yifan for
who he really is.
“Love,” Yixing says without hesitation when his mother asks what Yixing thinks
Yifan wants to give him. “He loves me so much, Mama.”
They only talk a little more each day, about Yifan and the relationship Yixing
shares with him, but it’s enough to see something within Yixing’s mother
settle. Her anxiety dissipates a little more each time, though it does still
sit firmly within her, Yixing can tell. But it’s progress.
Yixing sees Yifan once during the week after the phone call, where Yifan pushes
him softly against a wall and kisses Yixing like he’s trying to draw him into
his body. He nuzzles down Yixing’s throat and bites where a mark would sit on
Yixing’s, not to claim Yixing but it’s more than enough to leave a small set of
teeth indentations, and the confirmation that nothing has changed.
Yifan fusses over Yixing’s stomach, too, Yixing’s grinning when Yifan notices
that the belly is bigger and giggling when Yifan seems to try and scent their
baby through Yixing’s skin.
They’re alone, so Yixing tells Yifan to take a photo of them and, like always,
Yifan doesn’t complain when Yixing takes ten minutes to choose the filter for
them to use. Yifan just keeps touching him and kissing him where he can. It’s
obvious Yifan missed him, and Yixing relishes in it.
When there’s a photo Yixing’s happy with, Yixing watches Yifan look at it with
a genuine smile, and his heart swells to reverse the ways in which it had
shrunk without Yifan. The empty space fills in rapidly and it’s everything
Yixing’s needed to get a stronger grasp on himself.
“Would you run away with me,” Yixing blurts suddenly, “if i genuinely asked you
to?”
Yifan’s shocked, he doesn’t even try to hide it when he looks up from his phone
and down to focus on Yixing, whose front is completely flush to his.
“Has something happened? Are you okay?” Is Yifan’s first thought and Yixing’s
heart gets a little bigger again.
“No, no, just hypothetically,” Yixing shrugs.
Yifan thinks about it for a while, which Yixing doesn’t mind, and Yixing’s
rather surprised when Yifan says yes. So, Yixing asks why, and Yifan responds
instantly.
“I already lost one family, I can’t lose this one, too.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
It’s Yixing’s omega mother’s idea for her to meet Yifan, properly. She doesn’t
keep it hidden that she has reservations about the alpha and that the effort is
clearly only for Yixing’s sake. They go out to a café together, where there’s
deep leather seats and a huddle of baristas behind the counter.
After they greet each other, Yixing’s mother encourages them to sit on the two
person sofa whilst she takes the armchair. It surprises Yixing a little, having
expected her to be the divide between both Yifan and Yixing. He guesses, after
a little while, that it’s a test of some sort. She only scrunches her nose up
slightly when she notices them holding hands, or when Yifan leans forward to
take a sip of his Americano, Yifan’s hand touches Yixing’s knee instead.
They talk about what Yifan does at university and Yixing feels pride burst all
over his body when his mother looks impressed that Yifan is studying law and
linguistics. He explains that he wants to go into international law. Yixing
nibbles on his lips when Yifan explains everything about himself, about the
things he’s done on his own and the things he still wants to do to better
himself. He knows it’s ringing all the right bells for his mother, as every
trait Yifan’s showing are the ones his mother loves the most.
Especially sensitivity, Yixing was brought up to be aware of his own emotions
and to express them. Yifan doesn’t act like a typical alpha would, in that
sense. He opens up easily and explains everything in such a nuanced way that
Yixing’s mother leans in to listen to him. When she asks him about that, Yifan
considers it and comes back to answer after a few more questions have been
posed. What he says blooms something in Yixing’s stomach, a feeling of complete
pride.
“I’ve only ever been around omegas. In places like orphanages and foster homes,
there’s mainly omega children because parents want to keep hold of their alpha
sons and daughters. I grew up being the one who could protect my younger
friends and foster “siblings” from people who think orphans are worth less than
they actually are. And on the other side of that, I didn’t really know that
most alphas act differently to me until I moved here for school. I was put in
an alpha dorm and it’s just a constant battle for “dominance” and “territory”,
I hated it. Now I’m actually in a neutral dorm, where a lot of the older mated
students live and betas. It’s better for me there because I can have Yixing and
my two closest friends there without worrying.
“Maybe that’s it, I worry too much and instead of being possessive, I’m
sympathetic. I don’t want people to be alone or feel like they don’t have
someone to connect with and protect them. But, it’s definitely my upbringing, I
owe a lot of myself to being abandoned by my parents and being put into
adoption agencies.”
Yixing’s mother whimpers in the back of her throat, her mothering instincts
emerging as she visibly frowns, “You were abandoned?”
“I’ve been told that my parents couldn’t afford to take care of me, so they
gave me up when I was around one or two, and they still hadn’t named me.” Yifan
doesn’t show much sadness as he explains it, but Yixing remembers how Yifan
sobbed when he told Yixing his past when they first started dating.
“Where does your name come from, then? If your parents didn’t name you.”
“I was abandoned on a Friday, so the Wu of my name comes from there.*” Yifan
smiles. “And I’ve always been called Yifan, I don’t know where it came from or
who picked it, but it’s the only name I’ve ever had.”
Yixing steers the conversation back to lighter grounds and his mother looks
torn for a short while as they get up to leave, staring between Yifan and
Yixing before she closes her eyes. She turns away and rummages through her bag
for a moment. Yixing stands there and looks at her until she groans and finally
says, “I’m in enough of a moral dilemma about this as it is, but if you say
goodbye to one another when I’m not looking then I can’t get angry for what I
don’t see.”
When she turns away again, Yixing leans upwards to Yifan and kisses him with
open lips, letting his tongue flick against Yifan’s gently. It’s a short kiss,
but one that still leaves Yixing a little breathless as Yifan murmurs his
goodbyes onto Yixing’s lips and lets go of him.
Yixing calls his mother to turn around again and Yifan bows at her, like he did
when they first got there, before thanking her for meeting with him. She loops
her arm with Yixing’s as Yifan walks away.
“Tongue, really? In public?” She mutters when Yifan’s gone and they make their
own way out.
“You said you wouldn’t look!”
“I could hear it, though…” She grumbles on and Yixing flashes pink as they walk
towards the subway station.
When they’re half a street away, Yixing’s mother pulls him into a hug and
covers him with her scent. He knows her aim is to dilute Yifan’s scent enough
that it could be what emanates off the baby. She holds him tightly and nuzzles
in.
“If only you met him in a few years time,” his mother whispers into his hair.
“He seems like a good boy, it’s just that you’re both so young and still
growing up. Why couldn’t you have just waited a little more?”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
It’s rainy when Yixing next gets to see Yifan, who’s doused from foot to
forehead in water, and Yixing giggles when Yifan hugs him close. His hair drips
down onto Yixing’s and Yixing can hardly feel it. He feels a little too
enraptured by seeing Yifan looking at him like that. He feels like he’s a whole
world on his own. It’s more intense than normal, yet, Yifan is smiling far more
than usual.
Yixing feels bleary with happiness at the mere sight of Yifan being so jovial.
“Why are you out in the rain in a basketball kit? You’re soaked through,”
Yixing chastises with nothing negative in his voice, at all. Yifan simply looks
so wonderful.
“It’s… I...” Yifan couldn’t articulate himself properly, like there were so
many words buzzing around his head that Yixing wishes he could hear. “I needed
to tell you that I can feel it, I can actually start to sense the baby now. Not
just by scent. It’s like a presence I can’t quite make out in my head but I
know it’s the baby, it got stronger as soon as I saw you.”
There’s a small popping feeling in Yixing’s heart as he tightens his arms
around Yifan’s neck, one that leaves him with a burst of happiness in his veins
and nerves, completely pleasant and warming. It isn’t too long until tears
prickle in Yixing’s eyes and dribble down onto his cheeks, like the droplets
from Yifan’s hair.
“Are you serious?” Yixing’s throat feels like it’s going to close over and his
words come out skewed by dryness. “You can sense it?”
“Yeah, I can feel them, in my head. I feel kind...different.”
It’s something that’s only supposed to happen between a mated couple, and
sometimes even then, it doesn’t happen. Yixing knows it didn’t happen with his
own alpha mother, she never felt the dull press of her unborn child upon her
brain, upon her instincts. It’s weird for Yifan to be able to do it, especially
since he’s not matured. It makes Yixing cry even harder, to tuck himself into
Yifan’s body and simply be held by the alpha.
It’s peaceful like that, with the rain making pit-pat-pit-pat sounds on the
glass of the entrance door and Yifan’s arms around him, somehow still warm
underneath the wetness of his clothes.
Yixing weaves their fingers together as they part, taking them into the
elevator and up to the floor Yixing’s family’s apartment is on. It’s dark out
and Yixing knows both his parents are in, but it means something. Yifan can
sense their child.
There’s so much weight in it that they can’t not tell Yixing’s mothers. It’s
important to share it because it will change things. Yixing’s mothers need to
know that. He’s certain of it.
The reaction is instant as soon as Yifan steps into the apartment, Yixing’s
omega mother appears first, coming from the kitchen and her alpha mate comes
around only a few seconds later, from the study. There’s confusion and
frustration in the air, Yixing smells it, but he tightens his fingers around
Yifan’s hand and steels himself.
“You’ve been crying,” his alpha mother states, not quite what Yixing was
expecting, but it feels nice. She finally notices Yixing’s feelings, not simply
the “threat” of Yifan’s presence.
“Happy tears,” Yixing clarifies and the confusion intensifies. Yifan squeezes
his hand again and Yixing nods his head, answering a question that was never
asked. “Can we all sit down to talk?”
Yixing’s alpha mother’s hackles are raised, as if she’s poised to protect her
mate and child from the intruder, before she calms at the gentle touch of
Yixing’s omega mother.
“Let’s go into the lounge,” she tells her and Yixing moves off, Yifan in tow.
The four of them sit awkwardly opposite each other, Yixing’s parents both
sending each other looks of confusion as Yixing tries to work out what to say
without simply spitting out what Yifan told him. It’s silent, bar the rain, and
Yixing’s heart drums away in his chest.
“We need to tell you something,” Yifan begins, always being one for direct
honesty. Yixing tries to think of things to say, to hope he can get there
before Yifan blurts it all out. But, he can’t. Nothing comes from his brain to
his tongue and Yixing feels rather stuck. “I came here to tell Yixing, and you
both, something very important.”
Yixing’s glad Yifan’s tone is soft and his words slightly fluffy, it puts
Yixing at ease a little more. He sees his parents perk up a little,
apprehensive, if not intrigued.
“I think the easiest way to say it is to be clear and come right out with it.”
Yixing’s stomach plummets. “I can sense the baby, even when we are apart.”
Yixing’s alpha mother blanches and Yixing’s omega mother twitches slightly,
showing a gentle smile to them both before turning to tend to her stunned mate.
This is what Yixing’s fear was.
“Are you happy with this, Yixing?” His mother asks, as if her mouth moves
before her brain computes.
“I am, Mama.”
“...But, barely a week ago you didn’t want this baby anymore.” The way she says
it. it’s not harsh, it’s vacant. And it’s drowned out by a wounded whimper,
right next to Yixing’s ear.
He turns and sees Yifan, looking like Yixing’s just reached into his chest and
ripped his heart out. Yixing ignores his mother’s growls and climbs onto
Yifan’s lap to comfort him.
“You don’t want our baby?” Yifan sounds so terribly broken and Yixing can’t
bear hearing him like that.
“Gege, I-“
Yixing wants to explain, but Yifan pulls Yixing away from his body to cup at
his cheeks and keep Yixing looking right at him.
“You should have told me, Xing. If you don’t want to have this baby, we don’t
have to. We can wait until you are.”
Yixing feels stunned.
Even when Yifan thinks his chance of a family is slipping through his fingers,
he doesn’t hesitate to put Yixing first. To reassure him. To tell him that he’d
be willing to put his own feelings aside to make sure Yixing was okay. Yixing
doesn’t know what to say. He simply hiccups and falls forward into Yifan’s
chest, clutching at the alpha’s shirt as he quietly sobs.
He knows it’s the hormones but the tears don’t stop for a while, his mother
still growling at the younger couple’s closeness. They do, however, wait until
Yixing’s calm again to separate and look back at Yixing’s parents. One far more
agitated than the other.
“Are you certain you can sense the baby?” Yixing’s omega mother asks, glancing
quietly at her mate.
“Absolutely certain. It’s even stronger now that I’m here.”
Yixing’s alpha mother sighs and excuses herself. Yixing thinks it’s better than
all the shouting and screaming, until he hears his mother burst into tears
before she gets to the bathroom. It’s Yixing that gets up first and goes to
her, sliding into the bathroom behind her before she remembers to lock the
door.
“Are you okay, Mama?”
“Yeah, yeah, fine,” she tries to dismiss with her back to her son. “Just need a
little space.”
“You can tell me when you’re not okay, I’m here for you, too.”
“I know, honey, I’m just a bit overwhelmed.” She turns around to show her
reddened and tired eyes. “You’re growing up too fast.”
Yixing shoots towards her and wraps his arms around her, she hugs him back,
kissing his hair and squeezing tighter every so often.
“I know you don’t like Yifan, Mama, but I know you love me and my baby. You’re
still the one that scared away all the monsters I thought would eat me in the
night, no one can change that. No other alphas can do for me what you have. I
still love you more than anything.”
“Really? Even if I couldn’t sense you when you before you were born? Or that I
couldn’t protect you from this?” She whimpers and shows Yixing a little more of
her weaknesses. “Or that I wasn’t enough to keep you from looking for another
alpha?”
“I don’t care if you couldn’t sense me, it won’t have made any difference, I
would still love you like I do now. And this may be difficult to hear, but
Yifan’s not an alpha you need to protect me from, nor did you do anything wrong
to make me want to be around him. I love you both and you both love me, in very
different ways.”
“I know but it’s hard, he’s taking my baby away from me. I don’t want you to
not need me anymore.”
“Even when I have my baby, I’ll still be your baby. That won’t ever change.”
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Both of Yixing’s mothers made concessions on what they would and wouldn’t allow
Yifan to do with Yixing around them, albeit begrudgingly. If an alpha, or beta,
could sense their child inside an omega or beta, life became a little more
complex. It was usually easy for mates, as they’d have their bond and their own
home to nest in, and not being mates made things awkward. Yifan was far more
protective, as well as being considerably less willing to leave Yixing’s side,
and constantly wanted Yixing within reach.
Yifan can drop Yixing off at school and pick him up again, giving them enough
time for Yifan to be able to think straight and not continuously worry about
Yixing. The pregnant omega would go through the day with his peers absolutely
drenchedin Yifan’s scent, which had grown even stronger to adjust to be able to
sense his baby.
The hardest part comes at night. Yixing can’t sleep, he’s either spending his
whole time in bed, tossing and turning over and over again, or he escapes to
the lounge. Yixing’s mothers wake to find the living area completely different,
pillows and blankets huddled up behind the sofa in the corner, where they find
Yixing in a fitful state of sleep. In fact, Yixing doesn’t seem to want to get
up until Yifan arrives. Sleepily, Yixing gives into his instincts and is gently
worn down by the physical stress of not having Yifan there.
Then, they try it out with Yifan sleeping on Yixing’s bedroom floor - though,
they’d always discover that Yizing moves down to be next to him.
It makes Yixing’s alpha mother boil in her own skin, she doesn’t like Yixing
feeling all the more reliant on Yifan, but she doesn’t say anything to Yixing.
She simply mutters, “Sensing is a wonderful thing for an alpha.” And it breaks
Yixing’s heart whenever he hears it. He knows she’s a little envious of Yifan,
being both unmated and able to feel the mental presence of his baby. Especially
when she sees how Yixing changes when Yifan’s there, how much more attentive
and positive the little omega is.
What she hates most is that she can barely find reasons to hate Yifan whilst
he’s there. The alpha is a polite and quiet, he cleans up after Yixing and will
never say or do anything out of lime. She doesn’t like that she can understand,
in a small way, why Yixing would fall in love with him.
Yifan is a good alpha for an omega. Yixing’s mother feels like she’s just a
good alpha. She feels like she doesn’t give Yixing everything he needs. And, it
doesn’t matter how often her mate tells her that Yixing wants different things
from his mother and the other father of his baby, she can’t seem to see it that
way. She wants to be able to take care of her son and protect him from the
world, to keep him from feeling like he has to rely on someone else. He’s young
and too gentle to realise how much trust he’s putting in someone who may not
love him unconditionally forever.
“You can’t have it both ways,” her mate repeats over and over. “You can’t want
him to be independent and need you as completely as you want him to.”
It’s a shame, she thinks, that she can’t enjoy her son’s first pregnancy with
him. She thinks it’s still too sudden for her to process. She thought she had a
few more years of him being her son,and not the co-parent of his own child. She
doesn’t want to accept the changes that are bound to come, she simply wants to
be able to go back and be everything he needs.
 
                                      ⌘⌘⌘
 
Yixing likes it best when Yifan sleeps over, even if the mattress on Yixing’s
bedroom floor is nowhere near as comfortable as his bed. He simply likes being
able to snuggle into Yifan’s side and feel the way the alpha shifts in his
sleep to welcome him into his hold. It makes Yixing feel like there’s something
fluttering in his stomach until his mother comes in to tell him to wake up and
take a shower for school.
It’s always his omega mother who does it, as she can handle smelling Yifan all
over their son a little better than her mate. Even on the days Yifan has
already left to get to university on time and his scent had begun to stale in
the room. It feels comforting, too, to have his omega mother there, rocking him
gently into consciousness and ushering him into the bathroom.
When Yifan’s there, he wakes Yixing and takes him into the bathroom, carrying
the sleepy omega and turning the shower before he gets undressed. Yifan’s
usually ready and showered when that happens, having made Yixing breakfast to
eat and a lunch to take with him to school. Even though Yixing’s always eaten
his school’s canteen food. He feels so calm and cared for, especially when
Yifan rubs his belly, so much more than before, having both his parents
andYifan there for him.
Yixing gets excited when he sees Yifan waiting for him outside of his school
when the end of the day comes. Tao and Jongdae think it’s cute to see Yixing
become jittery before their last class ends, they both coo when he tells them
about the things Yifan does for him, and it makes Yixing smile even more.
The rumours about Yixing change, too, when Yifan starts to appear. They’re
closer to the truth, but still not quite right, and it hurts less. It probably
helps that Yifan smells almost mature, with his potent baby-sensing scent.
Yixing carries that scent too, which he knows makes the alphas in his school
extremely uncomfortable. Jongdae says it makes him feel calmer and Tao feels
both awkward and relaxed, depending on how much of the scent is there.
Yifan gloats and preens a bit when Yixing tells him how his alpha classmates
react, clearly comforted by how he smells actually does keep Yixing safe.
It is, however, when Yifan’s not there, that makes Yixing clench up inside.
When Yifan has too much university work to make it over, Yixing finds he can’t
sleep and his body aches all over. He doesn’t want to wake up and get out of
bed in the mornings. He’s sluggish in school and hides himself away, often
tucked up in one of Zitao’s jackets or with Jongdae slung over his arm. He
doesn’t enjoy things as much when Yifan isn’t there and he knows it’s the baby
wanting the presence of its other father there with them. It’s impossible to
ignore because it’s constant. It makes Yixing feel abandoned, alone and lonely.
He can’t even bring himself to wonder how it makes Yifan feel. All Yixing knows
is that Yifan holds him tightly for a long time when they’re reunited in the
evening. It’s what Yixing imagines being bonded is like, so he reminds himself
of that. They finally have a tether between them that ties them to intimately
together. He finally feels like he’s mated to the person he loves.
And, it’s not like Yixing doesn’t know he’s only been allowed this much access
to Yifan because of it. It hurts him a little that his parents don’t accept
Yifan completely but it’s better than it was. It’s less hostile and there’s so
much space for Yixing to grow happiness in.
The only times Yixing feels the tension in their dynamic spike up is when his
hormones get the better of him. It’s like his mothers have a sixth sense to it.
As soon as Yixing begins to want Yifan, the alpha has to wait outside the
apartment until Yixing feels a little more together. It’s Yifan’s idea to do
that, and Yixing’s alpha mother has to lock the door and make sure he stays
away, to be the firm walk between her son and alpha whose brain slips into
thoughts of marking and claiming.
Sometimes, not often, though, Yifan will bang on the front door and demand to
be able to see Yixing. That’s only when his instincts have taken over
completely and Yixing can only think of what would happen if Yifan didn’t hold
himself back so much.
Still, it makes things unsettlingly quiet for the next day, and Yixing wears a
mask of red-faced embarrassment as he sits between his parents and opposite
Yifan at the table. It’s mortifying, to have his own mothers smell his
attraction and wantfor his boyfriend so clearly. If it were just Yifan and
himself, Yixing would have been completely fine with bearing what his body
wants.
He simply assumes that nothing about his life during his pregnancy will go to
plan. Especially when his bump gets bigger, large enough for Yifan to cup and
nuzzle even further into, and everything else seems far more heightened. The
baby craves more from both of its parents and seems to relax most when Yifan’s
near.
Yifan’s protectiveness makes them think their baby will be a small omega, one
for Yifan to snuggle up to his chest and to keep safe. Yixing thinks he’d like
a little family of his own, to have a wonderful child that Yifan can adore
whilst Yixing loves them both.
That’s all Yixing wants to think about, really. His little family. And he can
see it so well in his head, of a small boy at Yifan’s side and a mark on both
Yixing’s own neck and the alpha’s, too.
So Yixing sleeps with his arms around Yifan and hopes the day will come when
he’s finally claimed by the one he loves.
Chapter End Notes
     *friday in chinese is xingqiwu (though, the tone and character for
     the wu is different to that in yifan’s name.)
End Notes
     find the twitter fic thread here.
     (that gets updated first)
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