Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1136018.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Hange_Zoë, Erwin_Smith
  Additional Tags:
      Teacher-Student_Relationship, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, or...
      well_German_"Gymnasium", Yandere, Yandere!Levi, not_so_un-yandere!Eren
      too, Alternate_Universe_-_Reincarnation, Oral_Sex, Rimming, Anal_Sex,
      Psychological_Trauma, Lingerie
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-01-14 Words: 1914
****** Empty ******
by anewkindofthrill
Summary
     Levi's been looking for Eren all his life.
     Eren wants to be Levi's.
     But above all, they want to go back.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
Sometimes he wonders why his friends don’t stop him. But then, he knows they’ve
got their own issues; Erwin failing each and every psychological test on the
police academy; Hanji being laughed at by the whole scientific community
because of her theories (which are true, of course; he had helped her prove
some of that shit back then
but mostly the kid had helped her prove her shit).
So both of them know what he's up to. In this life, Erwin will never be a good
policeman, since he's as stable as a bag full of rabid cats. Hanji will never
be a renowned scientist, since the verification experiments on her seemingly
crazy theories will never be funded. But Levi... Levi will be a great teacher.
Always has been, always will be.
===============================================================================
“Mr Delacroix, why did you become a teacher?"
“I want to help these kids make something out of their lives. They have to work
hard and learn the values of education and knowledge. They need to learn that
even if they don't have specific talents, they can still do anything they want.
They just need enough motivation. Personally, I think, the best student is one
who has to work hard for their goals, who does things out of sheer
determination. ... I want to find that student, to be honest. In everyone of
them. Of course."
The first thing he sees when he enters the classroom are huge, green eyes in
the face of a thirteen-year-old. More baby fat in the cheeks, the jawline isn't
as strong as he remembers, the nose will get a bit pointier in time.
Levi could not be happier.
===============================================================================
When Levi was a teenager, he would hang around kindergartens a lot. He would
never talk to anybody, not to any kid, he would just go there for the few
minutes in which most of the parents picked up their kids. He'd always be
careful enough that no one could spot him. That would certainly be very
unhelpful regarding his plans about becoming a teacher. Well, that is, if he
weren't to find him here.
He didn't. But that was okay, he still had a lot of time. Maybe he wasn't even
born yet? Who knew.
All that Levi knew was he had to be his as soon as possible.
===============================================================================
When Levi was a child, he always drew boys with big green eyes. His parents
didn't know why. He also cried a lot, especially when they met very tall people
in the streets. But the really weird thing was how he went to every brunette
little boy in his kindergarten and asked each of them the same thing: “Are you
mine?" The other children found him strange, but that didn't faze Levi in the
slightest. Soon, he stopped crying. Completely. At the age of five, he swore to
himself he wouldn't cry anymore until his boy was back.
Mrs Delacroix was really happy when he brought back a tall blonde boy and a
loud brunette girl home from elementary school. She had taken him to
psychologists and psychiatrists, always telling them her child had an empty,
hollow look in his eyes. They could never diagnose the kid with anything, but
in the evening, after Erwin and Hanji (also strange kids, but not as strange as
her Levi) left, she cried with happiness.
Levi was still hollow, but at least he'd smiled at that day.
===============================================================================
“Mr Delacroix?"
Two months of silence, two months of looks and stares and lip-licking.
“What is it, Jäger?"
Levi has been wiping the blackboard, the kids have already left. Or so he
thought. He turns to the boy, still smaller than him.
Probably not for long.
Eren looks away, on the ground, back up to the ceiling, until he settles for
the sponge in his teacher's right hand. Cleaning. Always cleaning.
“It's you, isn't it?"
All the what if he doesn't remember me, what if he doesn't want me anymore,
what if he thinks I'm the creep I am-s are suddenly gone when the sponge hits
the floor and two arms wrap around the shaking child. Tears and snot are all
over Levi's jacket, but he's never minded with Eren. Hell, he even covered
himself with fucking Titan goo for this kid.
The only one who can make him dirty is the brat.
“Yes, it's me." For the first time in 23 years, he cries.
===============================================================================
He lies on the floor of their apartment. Still like in uni days, the three of
them live together, unable to form new attachments to anybody of this time, of
this strange new world. Levi sighs and lets happiness and devastation and
desire wreck him. He doesn't want this life, not really. The safety and the
luxury is nothing he has asked for. He sees it Erwin's eyes; the man who used
to be the most powerful man Levi has ever met. Slumped in front of the TV,
munching on crisps. Hanji's still at uni, still trying, still fighting; she
will fall soon, too.
All he wants is his friends to be happy and Eren between his legs.
He goes into his room to jerk off for the second time today, not saying a word
to Erwin. He knows anyway. He's already fallen and he cannot do anything to
stop watching Levi fall, too.
===============================================================================
It's not just sex, though. Not just love, either. It's a full-blown obsession,
he realises, when he sneaks into the laundry room of the motel they are staying
in and fishes out Eren's used sheets.
The class trip will be over tomorrow, and so will be Levi's week of beautiful
hell.
They can't meet outside the school, they decided to wait.
Levi takes a lot of photos on this trip.
The sheets are sticky. Good. He buries his face in them.
===============================================================================
Their eyes meet every day, and Levi knows that shade of crazy yellow in green.
Only a tiny little part of him feels happy that the brat is also losing his
mind over this. He wonders if he has a wall full of photos of him at home, too.
If he also strips before it seductively, as if he were there, and touches his
photo-self's face, torso, cheeks, while stroking himself.
“Your homework will be...“ The class groans.
Eren groans, too.
Sick, filthy pleasure.
(Eren doesn't have a Glory Wall of Jerking Off, but Eren cuts out every comment
on his homework, every signature under his tests, he glues them into an album,
and he writes the name.
Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren
Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren
Delacroix Levi Jäger Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix Eren
Delacroix Levi Jäger Eren Delacroix Eren Delacroix
Armin and Mikasa share worried glances, but Eren keeps on writing writing
writing he's his-)
===============================================================================
Their goal was to wait until he's sixteen. It just seemed a reasonable age,
there were no other reasons behind it. Technically, it would have been legal
with already fourteen, but that... sounded so young. But he's just like back
then, all furrowed eyebrows and angry face. Bathed in the blood of his mother,
he has risen a man and he has never stopped being one.
Of course, Levi still isn't allowed to have a relationship with a student.
Levi Delacroix couldn't care less. Still over a year left and he cannot sleep,
cannot eat, he needs his Eren. He thinks (he hopes) his need for his boy is the
reason why everything is so fucking empty.
===============================================================================
They go on another class trip. During the stay, Eren will celebrate his 15th
birthday.
Levi packs condoms and lube. And ropes. And stockings. A man can hope. (A man
is crazy, completely and utterly mad, a man has tendinitis.) 
===============================================================================
Hanji sits next to Erwin on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. They eat pizza.
They wait for Levi to come home, the only one of them left with some energy.
Even if it's a maniac's energy.
===============================================================================
Eren has brought stockings himself. Also a garter corset with fucking frills.
He remembers everything, remembers how he used to steal Mikasa's stuff to
please his Captain. Levi is 100 percent sure he would kill the person who dared
to interrupt now.
His hollow, grey eyes are filled with madness when he ties the barely 15-year-
old down. Any boy in this age would have screamed with fear; not Eren. His
madness probably exceeds Levi's, he was just impatient, fidgeting. He wears his
stockings and his corset and nothing else; his half-hard cock jerks with every
move he makes, with every sound the ropes make when Levi ties the knots. Eren's
face is full of hope and want when he stares up to Levi. There is still so much
determination (please, keep it forever, never be hollow) but at the same time
there's helplessness. Exactly how Levi likes him. The only person stronger than
himself, lying under him, at his mercy.
When he licks the boy's hole with his whole tongue, when he sticks it in a bit,
just a tiny little bit, when Eren lets out a high pitched sound of pleasure
(the teachers' rooms are in another part of the building and Levi's colleagues
are still out in town), Levi thinks about how it doesn't even matter anymore
who's stronger. Who is strong at all.
All that he's got left is Eren. And they don't need their strength anymore.
 
So he wrecks the boy, eats him out (and he's as delicious as he remembers him),
and holds him down. He kisses that young, beautiful face with his filthy mouth,
while he strokes strong, smooth thighs through lacy fabric.
Eren pleads and plays bashful and Levi cannot wait to be manhandled himself by
this boy, this man, but not today. He's waited longer than the kid, he gets to
get it first.
The boy screams as if Levi is ripping him apart, but Eren wants so, Levi asked
him if he's prepared enough.
“I've been prepared all my life, Captain."
Filthy, dirty images of a younger Eren, memories of himself as a child, not
understanding why, but wanting, they see it in each others eyes, the all-
consuming lust and love and obsession. Without each other, they are nothing.
Or so they hope.
===============================================================================
They are two lost beings full of energy, but without any object to project it
onto. Two children/men full of hope and desperation and determination, but
without goal. So they fuck in abandon, without any remorse or restraint.
They know it's not exactly what they have wanted their whole lives. But it's
the closest they can get.
So Levi pushes into Eren
(slices a Titan's neck)
and Eren roars
(in his Titan form, so loud everyone's deaf for two seconds)
and he bites into Levi's neck
(his hand full of scars and scab, Levi's neck will be soon, too)
and Levi kisses away Eren's tears
(Armin... Mikasa... NO- Levi holds him tight).
===============================================================================
Erwin and Hanji move their heads towards the sound of keys turning around in
the front door's lock.
They don't stand up. They don't say hi.
They just look at Levi and Eren dropping their bags on the floor.
“Do you have any ice-cream?," Eren asks.
“Yeah, in the freezer. Chocolate chip."
They sit down with the ice-cream, next to Hanji and Erwin.
Eren sits between Levi's parted legs, Levi's arms wrapped tightly around him.
They hum along to the sit-com's opening melody together. 
End Notes
     This thing has its own life, I swear, I just wanted some teacher/
     student smut and then it got all... deep and shit.
     I might or might not make a five-ish chapter fic out of it. This
     could have a lot more flesh. It's more of a fic idea than a fic
     itself. But I kind of like it that way.
     Questions? Just wanna say hi? anewkindofthrill.tumblr.com (main
     blog), anoldkindofthrill.tumblr.com (SnK, manga stuff)
     I hope you liked this strange thing anyway, and I'd love some
     feedback. :3
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
e wakes up in the middle of the night
and hoseok has taken up most of the bed, arms thrown above his head and hoodie
riding up, revealing his stomach, that has a nasty purple bruising on the right
side, trailing down to his hip bone and disappearing underneath the waistband
of hoseoks shorts.
he doesn't say anything when he wakes up with the realization that he probably
likes hoseok more than he should as another boy.
after breakfast and another movie and some grocery shopping with his mom,
yoongi says nothing as he drops hoseok off at his house. nothing other than a
‘see you monday, thank you for coming!’ and a wide smile, the gummy one he
reserves just for hoseok.
yoongi returns home flushed and silent. his mother says nothing when he trudges
up to his room, head drooping.

vii.
one year before
the first time they fuck is on hoseoks seventeenth birthday.
it’s spontaneous, neither of them had planned for it to happen. sometimes they
would make out on yoongi’s bed, or yoongi would give hoseok a handjob in the
middle of the night, but they hadn’t ever truly fucked.
hoseok comes over like he always does for his birthday, about an hour after
school ends. yoongi is lounging on his bed, scrolling through his phone,
waiting patiently. his mother lets hoseok in, as always, and hoseok knocks on
his door hesitantly. yoongi opens the door with a smile, and hoseok steps in.
he’s worse today, yoongi can tell. he doesn’t seem to be physically hurt, but
there is a numbness behind his eyes and yoongi can’t seem to shake it out, even
after they go briefly to get icecream, laughing loudly in the convenience
store, watch a dumb movie (never scary, they weren’t there yet), and eating too
much junk food.
they are starting the second movie when yoongi asks him, head lying in hoseoks
lap.
“what did he do?” it feels heavy on his tongue. hoseok swallows.
“i can’t-“ his throat catches. “i can’t talk about it, right now.” yoongi’s
stomach drops. they are quiet for a while.
“hoseok,” he says. hoseok glances at him, a bit warily. “i love you.” hoseoks
blinks, afraid his eyes will betray him. hoseok doesn’t cry.
“i love you, too.” his hand slides into yoongi’s and he squeezes it lightly.
the rest of the movie plays without a word.
when it’s over and yoongi is forced to sit up, hoseok is drifting in and out of
sleep. it’s not even 11 pm.
“did you sleep last night?” yoongi asks, picking up the empty bags of food on
the bed and the ice cream to put them on the floor. hoseoks eyes snap open. he
nods, a bit unsurely. yoongi takes a small breath. he slides into hoseoks lap,
straddling him with one thigh on each side of hoseok. he sighs, automatically
placing his hands on yoongi’s hips. they’ve done this before, this was
comfortable, hoseok relaxes a bit.
he dips down, turning hoseoks chin upward so that their lips meet. gently,
slowly, he works hoseoks mouth open. hoseoks hands slide under yoongi’s shirt.
“did he hurt you?” yoongi asks. hoseok hates these questions. yoongi needs to
know.
“he didn’t.” hoseok says, head looking to the side. “not today.” physically. he
didn’t hurt you physically.
“you don’t deserve this, hoseok.” he says, trailing kisses from his lips to his
jaw. “you don’t deserve any of it.” hoseoks hands tighten on yoongi.
“yoongi-“ he says, his voice is strained. “please, i don’t want to think about
it.” yoongi refrains from rolling his eyes.
“i’m sorry.” yoongi mutters. and he is, but hoseok never wants to talk about
it, and yoongi just wants him to know the he deserves to be okay. that none of
this was his fault.
he kisses hoseok again and hoseok melts into it, lips parting to let yoongi
explore his mouth. and they stay like that for a while. sloppy and wet and hot.
it gets fervent, yoongi rolling his hips lightly, hoseok running his hands over
yoongi’s nipples, teasing them till they’re puffy. yoongi pulls away to run his
hands through hoseoks hair.
“hoseok-“ he says, stuttering. “let me make you feel good.” if hoseok won’t let
yoongi verbally tell him how much he deserves to feel good, to be comfortable,
to not be scared all the time, he’ll do it this way. this was easier. hoseoks
head falls back and he nods.
“o-okay.” his eyes flutter when yoongi grinds down again. “fuck- yes.” yoongi
smirks. he makes quick work of his own shirt, then hoseoks a minute later.
hoseok has fading yellow brushes across his chest. yoongi avoids them as he
moves down his body, sprinkling kisses and hickeys to cancel out the beatings.
hoseoks breath is ragged when he reaches the hem of hoseoks sweats.
“can i suck you off?” he asks, teasing the waistband. his eyes are lidded, lips
swollen and red. hoseok forces his eyes open and looks down at yoongi, face
inches from hoseoks clothes dick, ass in the air.
“i- i want to fuck you.” he whispers it, embarrassed almost. yoongi’s smirk
widens.
he crawls up hoseok again, one hand palming hoseok through his pants. “are you
sure?” this wouldn’t be yoongi’s first time getting fucked, but he’s pretty
sure hoseok is a virgin, technically.
hoseoks nods, immediately. “yes, fuck, i think about it all the time.” he
whines when yoongi grips him through the fabric, squeezing him lightly. he’s
half-hard.
“i do to,” yoongi says, it’s breathless. “i think about you fucking me into the
mattress. i think about bouncing on your cock till i cum untouched.” hoseok
hisses, dragging his hands down till they are gripping yoongi’s ass. “god i
want you to fuck me.”
“fuck, take off your pants.” hoseok says, releasing yoongi to roll over and
pull them off. yoongi laughs lightly.
“okay, let me go get some supplies.” hoseok blushes when yoongi throws his legs
over him, standing awkwardly, his erection pressing into his sweats. “i think
what we need is in the bathroom..” he muses, still smiling softly. hoseok sits
stiffly on the bed. yoongi leans over to kiss him until he relaxes a bit before
walking out of the room and across the small hallway.
yoongi glances at the door to his mother's room, it’s shut and the lights are
off. his heart slows a bit. he shuffles through the bathroom, struggling to
find the things he needs. he finds a small bottle of lube under the sink, his
mother's, and no condoms. they can make do with that.
he returns to the room and hoseok is still sitting a little stiffly, running a
hand through his hair. yoongi crawls onto the bed and over him quickly, back to
straddling his hips, dropping the small bottle onto the sheets for later. he
kisses hoseoks jaw, down his neck and to his shoulder before kissing his lips.
“have you done this before?” he asks, gently, lovingly. hoseok swallows again.
“no.”
“you know how it works though, right?”
hoseok laughs. “yes.” another kiss.
“do you want to prep me?”
hoseoks mouth falls open, a little disbelieving. he shakes his head.
“i don’t want to hurt you.”
yoongi’s smile is threatening to tear his cheeks. he kisses hoseok.
“okay. no problem.” he rolls off hoseok again, sitting at the end of the bed.
he lifts his hips to pull off his pants, hoseoks eyes boring into his skin,
taking in his thighs and his pale stomach and his chest. yoongi’s ears go red.
“i couldn’t find condoms.” he says, his hands in the waistband of his boxers.
“i’m clean though.”
hoseok looks at him nervously, “i don’t know if i’m..” his sentence drops off
at the end.
“the only person you’ve been with is me, right?”
“yes.”
“we should be okay.” he’s not sure if his logic is sound, but he doesn’t really
care. he pulls his boxers down, revealing the rest of his body. yoongi shivers
when the cool air hits his length, which is half hard, laying against his
stomach heavily. he watches hoseoks facial expression as he shifts on the bed,
spreading his thighs and scooting so that his ass is reachable. hoseoks lips
are thin, his breathing heavy, hand inching toward the erection in his pants.
yoongi picks up the bottle of lube. “get comfortable, hoseok.” he nods at
hoseoks pants.
quickly, hoseok pulls them off, laughing embarrassedly. yoongi pops open the
bottle of lube, it’s almost empty. he squirts a bit on two of his fingers. it’s
been awhile since he’s done this, and he’s a bit nervous. he plants his feet on
the bed, spread wide. one hand is behind him, holding him up, and the other is
warming the lube in two fingers. hoseok takes off his underwear, too, hand
gripping his now fully erect cock.
yoongi places the fingers on the ring of muscle around his hole. he circles
them around the area, relaxing the muscle before slowly pushing his index
finger in.
“fuck.” he says, his chest tightening. it’s tight, and a bit uncomfortable. he
starts to move in more, knuckle by knuckle, until his finger is completely
inside. hoseok is breathing heavily, stroking his length slowly.
when he begins to move, pulling his finger out and pressing it back in, the
uncomfort dissipates and yoongi begins to feel to pleasure of it. he crooks his
finger when it’s completely inside, whimpering when pleasure flows through him.
he speeds up, eyes screwed closed.
after a minute, one finger is comfortable, too little. he presses his middle
finger in next to his index. his mouth falls open at the stretch. hoseok moans
at the image, hand speeding on his cock. yoongi opens his eyes, head falling
forward and locking eyes with hoseok. his fingers speed up.
he scissors himself open, stifling his moans by biting his lip. he adds a third
finger when hoseok says his name, fist closing around his cock, unmoving. he
repeats small profanities as he fucks himself, the position awkward and a crick
develops in his wrist.
he pulls his fingers out with a whine, clenching around nothing.
“hoseok-“ he says, wiping his hands on the blanket. “-no don’t come here, just
scoot down a bit.” he grabs the lube as he move towards hoseok, who is leaning
against the headboard, eyes focused on yoongi.
yoongi tugs hoseok farther down on the bed so that he’s completely horizontal,
head lying on a pillow. he stands on his knees over hoseok, opening the lube
again. hoseok is gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles are white, cock
laying against his stomach.
squirts the lube into his hand, reaching under himself to take hoseoks cock in
his dry hand. hoseok is long and thin, curving wickedly. hoseok shudders when
the lube touches him. it’s cold.
“you good?” he asks, leaning down to press a kiss to hoseoks cheek, then jaw.
“y-yeah.”
“i’m going to ride you.”
“fuck, yoongi.”
he smiles, shifting his hips forward so that hoseoks tip is at his entrance. in
his mind, he counts to three, letting himself sink a little at each number,
until the head of hoseoks member is snug in yoongi’s ass.
it feels nothing like yoongi’s finger, it’s thicker, and feels better, but the
stretch is tight. he counts to three again, another inch down. hoseok is
breathing hard. the next count of three he bottoms out swiftly, one hand on the
mattress next to hoseok and one placed lightly on his chest.
“it’s so fucking tight.” hoseok says, voice hoarse. yoongi inhales, he needs a
second to adjust.
he rolls his hips experimentally, once, twice. hoseok moans, hips rolling
forward to meet yoongi. yoongi chokes on his own throat. he continues to do it
until the stretch isn’t painful, and pleasure courses through his body.
he rises up, slowly, until just the tip is inside, and sinks down quickly.
hoseok groans. yoongi does it again. and again and again. and then hoseok hits
his prostate, hips jerking upward harshly, and yoongi sees stars.
his body goes limp, almost, head dropping and elbow holding him up giving out.
he weakly tries to go up again, and fails. hoseok grabs his waist, gripping his
sides and lifting yoongi so that yoongi doesn’t have too, before gently pushing
him down and over him. yoongi whimpers. they continue like that for a long
while, yoongi mewling each time hoseok pushes him down on his cock, mouth
hovering over hoseoks, not really kissing because he can’t feel or hear or see
anything other than hoseoks hands on his hips and cock up his ass.
hoseok sits up at one point, a bit awkwardly but yoongi is barely managing to
keep himself upright and like this yoongi can lean against hoseoks chest, arms
around his waist.
hoseok thrusts upward a few more times, erratically, using the moment of
closeness to focus on yoongi’s lips again. and then they are flipping over,
yoongi’s thighs hiked up around hoseoks waist, and hoseok holding himself over
yoongi, able to thrust at any speed or capacity he wants.
“you’re so pliant.” hoseok whispers, hips thrusting hard and slow, yoongi
holding onto hoseoks biceps. “so fucking needy, i didn’t know you wanted to
fuck this bad.” yoongi mutters a string profanities with each thrust when
hoseok speeds up.
his neglected cock hits his stomach with each movement, sometimes bumping up
against hoseoks stomach when he dips to suck bruises onto yoongi’s chest and
neck. hesitantly, yoongi moves a hand from hoseoks bicep to grip his leaking
member, stroking himself weakly. the heat pooling at his groin grows and he can
feel his balls tightening, threatening to release.
“fuck, hoseok, harder.” he says, the words broken between thrusts. hoseok moans
at the words, not really speeding up his hips but fucking into yoongi with so
much force yoongi can feel tears pricking the corner of his eyes. his thighs
begin to quiver and close around hoseoks waist tightly, it’s involuntary and
hoseoks hips stutter, wincing in pain. yoongi wants to apologize but hoseok
just gripe yoongi’s thighs with his hands and pushed them onto the bed, digging
his hand into the flesh and then running over it smoothly.
yoongi sobs when he cums. it’s so intense, white spurting from his already
leaking cock across his and hoseoks entire torsos, one string clinging to his
chin. he clenches around hoseok but hoseok doesn’t stop fucking him, it’s
incentive to fuck even harder.
hoseoks breath is ragged, yoongi’s hand gripping his bicep hard from the
oversensitivity, back arching. yoongi’s eyes fall open and he looks at hoseok,
abdominal muscles convulsing each time he thrusts, head dropping, chest rising
and falling quickly.
when hoseok cums the feeling is almost unbearable from overstimulation, and
yoongi basks in it. hoseok pulls out just as the last of the cum leaks from
him, pouring onto yoongi’s ass and softening cock. he pushes himself up to
look, hands on yoongi’s thighs again.
“you’re so hot,” he says, staring at yoongi’s clenching hole. he licks his
lips, then locks eyes with yoongi. “i did okay?” he asks. yoongi nods, a
content smile playing across his lips.
“get a towel.” yoongi says, and hoseok pushes up and off him. he stands,
turning around to search the room. yoongi watches him, his dark skin glowing in
the lamp light from his bedside table. they are hard to see in the dim light,
but hoseok has fading bruises painted across the expanse of his back and legs.
the darkest is on his shoulder, a light purple, fading out into green then
yellow. he kneels to pick up a towel, then turns back to yoongi, smiling.
when he gets to yoongi, hoseok situates himself over yoongi so he can wipe his
stomach and ass. it’s messy, and he grimaced when he’s done, not really sure
what to do with the towel.
“just drop it.” hoseok complies, dropping it onto the floor next to the bed.
yoongi pulls him into his chest with a sigh. “happy birthday, hoseok.” his
hands push through hoseoks hair.
hoseoks hums, and for a second, yoongi feels content. because hoseok is
completely relaxed against him, hand curling on yoongi side, head pressed right
onto yoongi’s chest. “thank you, yoongi.”

viii.
a week before
“he found out about us.” hoseoks voice is low and raspy and terrified. “i’m
scared- yoongi, i’m so scared.”
yoongi is pulling on his shoes, phone pressed to his ear.
“where is he? i can call the cops.”
“no! no please, that’ll make it worse.” hoseoks voice breaks and yoongi wants
to scream, hearing how strained his breath is. “he’s on his way home. he said-
he said he knew what we were doing.”
“leave.” yoongi says. “i’ll meet you at the park. just get out.” he hears a
muffled sob.
“i think he’s home.” hoseok takes a breath, “i have to go. i’m sorry yoongi.”
“hoseok wait-“ is all he gets out before the line cuts.

ix.
3 and a half years before
yoongi thinks hoseoks laugh is the most wonderful sound in the world.
it's clear and loud and he laughs with his entire being, when he means it. it
makes yoongi do that gummy smile, the one he really doesn’t like but can’t seem
to prevent.
they are all gathered in a circle around the fire, holding sticks with
marshmallows until they turn a pleasant brown. it takes hoseok three tries to
get his s'more to not-burn, not because he’s doing it wrong, but he keeps
laughing at things, hand drooping and stick going directly into the fire.
hoseok is across from him at the fire pit, talking intently about something
with another group of boys, while yoongi listens to namjoon discuss the
relativity of time, smile growing every time hoseoks voice can be heard over
the other voices. hoseok is only ever loud when he’s comfortable, and hoseok is
never comfortable.
too soon, the boys are made to go to their tents. hoseok says goodnight to his
friends, then follows yoongi to their shared tent in the outer ring of the
campsite. they get into their sleeping bags quickly, hoseok telling yoongi
about the things he had done that day and the people he had met.
yoongi listens, chiming it when he feels like he needs too, but otherwise just
letting hoseok talk. it slows after a while, and hoseok rolls onto his back,
looking up at the top of the tent. the two can hear whispers from around the
camp.
“i don’t want to go home.” hoseok says. “i want to stay here.”
“i do too.” yoongi smiles at hoseoks profile. his skin is glowing in the dark
of the tent, and for the first time in a while his skin isn’t plagued with
bruises. he looks healthy, happy. if hoseok was like this all the time, yoongi
wouldn’t mind living in the woods.

x.
hoseok is asleep on the train.
he sleeps through the ticket taking and the coffee run, until the sun rises,
framing his face in bright golden light, getting into his eyes and waking him
up.
yoongi thinks hoseok is beautiful.
a smile spreads across hoseoks face when his eyes fall on yoongi, sleepy and
fond. warmth spreads through yoongi’s chest, it’s overwhelming.
for the first time yoongi believes that this will work. that they will be okay.
hoseok slips his hand into yoongi’s.
“good morning.”
End Notes
     hahahahah my emotions are non existent
     it’s supposed to be open ended but i’m bad at ending things so it’s
     just a mess
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