Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5999761.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      John_Egbert/Dave_Strider, Rose_Lalonde_&_Dave_Strider, Rose_Lalonde/
      Kanaya_Maryam_(implied)
  Character:
      John_Egbert, Dave_Strider, Rose_Lalonde, Kanaya_Maryam_(brief)
  Additional Tags:
      Vaginal_Sex, Vaginal_Fingering, Oral_Sex, Lust_at_First_Sight, Useless
      Lesbians, Genderswap, Humanstuck, Frottage, Dom/sub_Undertones, Orgasm
      Delay/Denial, Love_Bites, First_Time, Implied/Referenced_Dubious_Consent,
      Bondage_and_Discipline, Underage_Sex, Underage_Drinking, Semi-Public_Sex,
      Anxiety, Porn_With_Plot, Bad_Porn, i_cant_write_lolololol
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-02-14 Words: 3590
****** dykes. thats it. just dykes ******
by gayriot
Summary
     genderswap au where john/jane just wants to fuck
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
Your name is Diana Strider, you're 16 years old, and you think you've just met
an angel.
You know, if an angel had horse teeth and impaired vision. Her teeth really
aren't even that bad anymore, but you vaguely remember people branding her with
the nickname in 2nd grade before she got braces, so it's kind of just
universally accepted as a name. Even by her.
When you first arrived at Rose's house, you definitely did not expect so many
people to be there. Partying, dancing, drinking (most of them look no more than
15 there is no way thats legal), some swimming. Really, there were more
underage acts going on than swimming, despite this being a "pool" party. But
you really shouldn't be so surprised. People do tend to admire and respect
Rose, no matter how creepy and nosy she may come off as. It's no wonder more
than half the school would show up to her open invitation end-of-the-year
party. Plus, her house is fucking huge. Welcome to Playboy fucking mansion.
Anyways
despite all of the hot guys (but honestly you're leaning more towards the
girls) attending this soiree, there really is only one person who's caught your
eye. And it's not just because she's the only person skinny-dipping.
She has bright blue eyes that look as happy as her face does and tan skin.
There's a small cluster of light freckles dusting the bridge of her nose and
you can see her metal retainer when she laughs. Her hair is long and curly and
unkempt, the tips of it brushing past the middle of her torso and just reaching
the water enough to be soaked. Looking at her now, you can see she's totally
made her way past "slightly buzzed." And no you're not staring at her tits haha
what.
Okay maybe you are a little, but it's not like anyone can see you, thanks to
your trusty shades. Always lookin' out for you.
But they are nice.
You're slightly concerned for her, being topless and at a party full of evil
teenagers (*le tremble*), but most are more concerned with the epic game of
beer pong going on in the sunroom. The few that are outside and lurking around
the pool seem trustworthy enough.
"Hello Diana," a lilting voice says behind you.
You turn around to see none other than the devil herself smiling innocently,
one delicate eyebrow slightly quirked up. You smirk and cross your arms.
"Well, look who it is. Quite the fancy lil gathering ya got goin' on, Lalonde.
What're you doin' out here away from the drunk hormonal teens swarming like
bees to your mom's pantry-o-toxins?"
She shrugs indifferently. "Too busy in there for my taste. I receive more than
enough of incoherent slurs from my mom on a good a day."
"Besides," she continues, "I'm much more interested in what you're doing out
here. Specifically, ogling my shirtless friend who is currently getting her
groove on to a Robin Thicke song."
You hope that if your face really is as red as it feels, she's too dumb to
notice.
"Psshh, what? I was just admirin' this beaut'ful, clear blue pool water. How
exactly is mom payin' that pool-boy, again?" you sarcastically retort. Rose
smiles, and it gives off a subtle vibe that she knows something she shouldn't.
Damn her.
"I think your body language speaks volumes, many more than your words. Your
face could rival tomatoes," she replies. Of course, she's not dumb enough to
not notice. The thought doesn't even seem possible.
"I 'ave no idea what you are gettin' at."
"Oh dear cousin, anyone could sense your libido from a mile away."
Rolling your eyes, you push your shades up to keep them in place and turn
around to start walking away.
"Talk to me 'gain when you lose the Yolandi_cut," you call over your shoulder.
"The same to you once you grow out that dyke_cut!"
You laugh under your breath and allow a slight smile to break your apathetic
expression. Dyke jokes between dykes. Life is good.
You're not sure where you're wandering off to, so you decide to make your way
over to the table piled with food. Grabbing the bowl of Doritos to cradle it in
your arms, you scan your eyes for the girl in the pool. She's spinning around
with the juggalo from your photography class and you can tell he's eyeing her
chest. You narrow your eyes at him from behind your glasses as you stick a
whole Dorito in your mouth.
Rose is off to the side chatting up a senior wearing dark green lipstick. You
go girl, get that V. The Strider-Lalonde family gets all the pussy. All of it.
The cat will never be let out of the homoerotic bag.
When your eyes return to the pool, you're disappointed to see that Tits McGee
is nowhere in sight, until you realize she's walking over to the buffet table.
Where you are. You're directly in her line of view. Your metaphorical boner is
slowly raising the roof.
She walks skips up to you clumsily and giggles once she's in front of you. She
smells fruity and wow her bops are literally pressed up against your chest.
You'd prefer her pretty face being there, but this'll do.
"Hi!" she chirps, grabbing your shoulder and using it to keep herself standing
straight.
You blink a few times, before replying, "Uh...hey there."
She smiles toothily (her teeth are blindingly white goddamn) at you.
"Heh, can I...can I have a cheeto?"
She's staring at you, waiting for your answer. You're somewhat confused.
"Listen darlin', I don't got any cheetos."
"They're right there!" She lowers her eyes. "In your...bowl, hehe," she
whispers.
You raise an eyebrow at her and move the bowl in a circular motion. Her eyes
follow it as you move it before she looks back up at you.
"These right here? Thees ain't no cheetos. I'm offended that you'd call 'em
that, but I'll let it slide considered you're a lil knocked up. They're
doritos."
She stares at you, her hand still gripping your shoulder. She looks a little
dazed. Her left hand comes up to land on your other shoulder and she leans
forward slowly. You're very nervous suddenly.
You start thinking she's about to kiss you, when she freezes. And laughs
directly in your face. You flinch.
"Oh my god, that's what I JUST said, ya big ol' dummy!"
The babe-with-the-beanbags closes her eyes as she laughs even harder and rests
her forehead on your shoulder. Her shoulders shake and soon her laughs are no
more than wheezy breaths. Your eye catches Rose's gaze from across the pool,
giving you a strange look. You give her a look right back that says, 'I-have-
no-idea-what's-going-on.'
"Alright honey," you say, which catches her attention. She raises her head and
looks up at you. Her expression is suddenly blank.
"Let's get you inside. Actually, let's get a shirt on you first."
Unfortunately, you can't risk walking in there with her badonks out amongst
those douchebag seniors who are most likely smashed beyond belief by now.
You're just grateful that, at some point, she at least put on shorts.
She smiles and nods her head after a few seconds, seemingly processing what
you're saying.
And then, she vomits down the front of your shirt.
You let out an exasperated huff of air.
"Actually, lets both go find shirts."
You guide her past the pool and to Rose, trying to block out the stench of
whatever it is that came from her stomach.
"Rose darling, you look abso-posi-lutely lovely today. Woul' you be oh-so kind
as to direct me and this 'ere lovely lady to a place where we may obtain some
new attire?" you ask, trying to keep your tone of voice even. Don't wanna
embarrass yourself in front of her pretty little gal. Even though you have no
doubt you've already achieved that much.
You can tell she and her girl are both suppressing their laughter. Bitches.
"You'll have to excuse us, Kan," she directs to the girl next to her, a light
tone in her voice. "Right this way, ladies."
She brings you both to a shed in the more secluded part of her backyard.
"I'll be right back with some clothes. Jane, I'll return with a new pair of
shorts, considering those are definitely not the ones you arrived in and they
look suspiciously like the ones I changed out of and left on a lounge chair.
And you, Diana," she turns to you, "I'd suggest you change out of those pants
as well. I'll bring something more...suitable."
You glance down at your dark jeans, random rips and holes and a couple of
broken belt loops an' all. Fuck her, your jeans are sick as fuck.
You send the back of her head a pointed glare as she walks out. Deeming the
shed private enough, you strip away your shirt that is now covered in crusty
bodily fluids. You remember that there's a girl right next to you, but
considering she's had her doodads out and about since you got here, it doesn't
really matter. Besides, you've still got your swimsuit top on underneath.
After a couple minutes that seems void of one Rose Lalonde, it starts to get a
little awkward.
"So..." you start, turning your neck to look at her Jane. Her blue eyes aren't
directed at your face, however, and are somewhere far lower. She's biting her
bottom lip almost anxiously. Is it hot in here or is it just you amiright
hhhhhh.
"Jane, right? You're friends with the shedevi-I mean, Rose?"
She nods distractedly, and it's almost more of a twitch of the head than an
actual movement.
She looks back at you and even in the shadows of the windowless shed you can
see her blush.
"I, yeah. She's. We're in Spanish together," she replies finally. You nod,
trying not to acknowledge where you think her eyes keep going to.
Ignoring the tension, you glance around the small space, praying to every deity
you can think of that Rose will hurry with those damn clothes. One of two of
the big shed doors is halfway open, giving you a view of the pool. It's dark
inside, despite the light coming through the door. The sun is starting to go
down and most of the light is coming from the lit tiki torches scattered about.
It's relatively empty in here, save for the lawnmower pushed against the wall
and two Kan Jam barrels shoved in the corner.
You feel something prod between your shoulder blades and you whip your head
around, only to be met with a face a little too close to yours.
"Whoa, okay, hey there," you say as you back up a little. "Sup?"
Jane ignores you in favor of running her fingers up and down your right arm.
She starts using her nails instead and hey, that feels super good, you're not
complaining.
"Oh. Alright."
She seems to have sobered up a little since she blew her stomach chunks on you,
but the scent lingers.
"You feelin' alright?"
She fingers the strap of your top and pulls it back a little bit. She lets go
with a snap and although its not enough to hurt you, you swallow audibly. Her
face leans forward until she's right next to your ear. Her frizzy curls tickle
your nose.
"Wanna...can I try somethin'?" she slurs.
You start biting your thumbnail, considering what she might mean by that.
Hesitantly, you nod. She places her lips next to your ear where your jawline
starts. For a while, she doesn't move, seeming content to just sit there. But
then, she presses a light kiss to the area. And another one. And another.
"This okay?" she mouths quietly against your skin.
"Y-yeah," you stutter.
Her left hand runs up your arm, tracing the outline of the slope where your
neck and collarbone meet and finally rests on your cheek. Her thumb sweeps back
and forth across your cheekbone as she trails light kisses across your entire
jaw.
You take a sharp breath in, letting your hand lay on top of the one on your
face. Okay, okay, okay, don't freak out. Don't panic. Dear god, don't fuck this
one up.
"What are you..."
She moves upwards and presses a kiss on the corner of your eye, which proves to
be as awkward as it sounds because her head knocks your aviators out of place.
She slides them off of you and sticks them in her back pocket. You make a quiet
sound of protest, but its immediately swallowed by a small groan that emits
from your throat when she gropes your chest.
You're not as busty as her, but, damn, she seems to be having fun.
Jane's fingers play with your strap again and she sloppily tries to slide one
off. You decide to give her a hand, seeing that her movements aren't exactly
coordinated. You guide her fingers so that the strap fully falls off and you
remove the other one. Both of her hands fly to your back to undo the flimsy
plastic hook. (So what? You buy your swimsuits from cheap places. You're not
spending fuckin' fifty bucks on some Gucci bullshit.)
Suddenly, you feel a hard weight form in the pit of your stomach. Your breath
quickens. The weight of her body feels like it could crush you at any moment,
and in your panic, you push her off.
"Sorry," you mutter sheepishly. "I just..."
Shes staring at you with wide eyes, looking to you for an answer.
You hug yourself and rub your arms, feeling exposed as a breeze floats in and
washes over you. You look at Jane, who's smiling softly with an apologetic look
on her face.
This is. Okay. You're okay. Despite being in a shed at a party, you're alone
and safe and although this is the most you've ever interacted with her-besides
the time you were lab partners for a week-you don't believe she could hurt you.
She's still tipsy, and you might be stupid for trusting her so much, but this
is okay.
"Okay."
You remove your top and drip it behind you, letting your arms fall by your
sides. You bite your lip when her eyes study your body.
She slowly takes your hands in hers and you want to tell her to be faster
because suddenly your arousal is something you can't ignore.
"You can tell me to stop," she whispers. "It's fin."
A dumbfounded look crosses her face before she corrects herself, "Fine, I
meant.
She leans forward to connect your mouths.
Her hands release yours to feel around on your chest, and you decide there is
literally no way to say "she plays with your nipples" without it sounding
awkward and weird, but that's whats going on here.
One hand remains on your breast while the other slides down and rests on the
crotch area of your jeans. Pulling her closer, you wrap your arms around her
neck and bite her bottom lip. She gasps, giving you a chance to slip your
tongue in.
Jane's hand starts rubbing around your nether regions and you grind against her
hand for more friction. Your moans mix together and you share each others
breaths. Your mouth moves down to her neck and you suck and nip at the skin.
She groans, bringing the hand on your chest up to grab your hair. Or whatever
hair you have. The pros and cons of shaving some of your head.
There's an unexpected tug on your zipper and soon Jane begins working away at
the button of your jeans. She pulls at one of the few belt loops that was still
intact before whispering, "Mind giving me a hand?"
You release her neck and slide your jeans off. There's really no way to make
taking off skinny jeans look sexy, though they do look nice while still on, but
hopefully that isn't much of a problem.
Her fingers rub along your bikini bottom, tracing over your vulva. You let out
a small, not-cool at all yelp as her other hand reaches down to grab your ass
firmly.
"How long do you think we have until Rose comes back?"
"Bitch is probably gettin' laid right now. We got time."
You let out a lusty groan as Jane gives your crotch a few slow rubs. She slips
your bottom piece off and rubs back and forth along the folds of your labia.
"Well you're-" you say as a whimper interrupts you, "-you're pretty damn good
at this. Usually a gentleman would buy me dinner first...make-make an honest
woman outta me."
She presses a finger against your clit wordlessly and you bite down on her
shoulder. The yelp she lets out devolves into a moan and her fingers speed up.
Your thighs are trembling and she moves easily now, the slickness aiding her
movements.
Jane backs you up against the shed wall and lifts your legs up. You immediately
wrap them around her hips. With your new leverage, you can see the doors behind
her head. The sun has almost totally set, but many people still remain. You
ignore it and hide your face in her head, pressing a light kiss to her scalp.
She nuzzles her face between your breasts and leaves hard, wet kisses. Her
tongue protrudes and sloppily swirls around on your skin. She bites down and
sucks at the skin for a while, which is to sure to leave a trail of red
hickeys. You breathe heavily at the thought.
She pumps a finger slowly in and out of your slit. At first its a strange
feeling, having never done this before. However, as she adds a second digit to
the mix, you start to want more friction.
"F-faster," you beg, "Fucking move faster."
"What's the magic word?" she says, the sound muffled in your chest.
You curl your toes and plead, "Please. Move...move faster,please."
Thankfully, she speeds up. You're so sensitive to everything she does,
twitching and gasping with every touch. Like the inexperienced virgin you just
so happen to be.
"I'm gon-"
"Think you can hold it in?"
You freeze for a moment. Her fingers ease you back into it, though. After some
thought, you nod your head and mutter an agreement.
Her hand comes up and pats the back of your thigh. You slide down from Jane's
hips and look at her with a hazy expression.
"Kneel down, babygirl."
The name makes you shiver with anticipation and you comply. Her hands attach
themselves to the back of your head, urging you to come forward.
"Hands behind your back."
Even with the slight slurs in her tone, she sounds confident in what shes
ordering. You bring your hands behind your back and clasp them together. One of
her hands drops her shorts to the floor, then immediately returns to your head.
Her hands move your head closer.
You lick a stripe up her crotch, sucking at the skin, and nudge her right leg
with your nose. She lifts that leg up and leans her knee on the wall behind
you. You can feel her foot press between your shoulder blades. You pepper her
inner thighs with kisses and almost smirk at the soft sighs she lets out.
Sucking on the skin just beside her labia, you groan at the way she starts
tugging on your hair. The whole event is so similar to a bad porno its almost
laughable, but neither of you are laughing right now.
After a few licks and kisses to the skin around the area and occasional
attention to the sensitive folds, its not long before Jane is rutting against
your face. Running your tongue across the labia, you let your lips drag along
behind it. You aren't entirely sure of what to do at this point, so you
experiment. Your tongue circles her entrance once and flicks inside it quickly,
earning you a loud moan. Sucking on her upper lip near her clit earns you a
sharp gasp, and she rocks against you once more.
"F-fuck...agh, good job babygirl," she groans out.
Your breath is coming out in heavy pants now, and you realize that you're
getting close, despite her orders.
"I th...I think I'm close..." you spit out between gasps.
As you pant heavily and bury your face between her thighs, it prompts a shudder
from Jane. You feel her body trembling above you as she lets out a string of
curses. Your own hand rubs idly at your crotch.
Soon, you're both riding your orgasms out. You're a bit disappointed as her
grinding and rocking slows to a stop. She kneels down in front of you and pulls
you into a deep kiss, her tongue brushing against the inside of your mouth. You
can still slightly taste any traces of alcohol left.
Jane pulls away from you, a bead of spit still connecting your lips. Her tongue
flicks out to lick it away.
"Thanks," she says before her head plops down on your shoulder. You groan
again, except this time its not out of pleasure.
"You're welcome I guess," you mutter under your breath.
Moving her aside, you fish your phone out from your jeans pocket to message
rose.
TG: better hurry up with those clothes londe
TG: and some towels
End Notes
     so that sucked. this is much longer than anything ive posted on here
     so yall better be damn fucking happy w it. (im kiddin i love u
     please)
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