Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2559407.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Laura_Hale
  Character:
      Derek_Hale, Laura_Hale, Peter_Hale, Talia_Hale
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest, Incest, Feral_Behavior, Pack_Dynamics, Pack_Feels,
      Bisexuality, Mildly_Dubious_Consent, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-11-03 Words: 2084
****** cut in half ******
by ephemeraa
Summary
     Back then it’s all supernatural surges of hormones and the side
     effect being 14 and a werewolf, and horny, for lack of a better word.
Notes
     This is pretty fucked up here you go.
Back then it’s all supernatural surges of hormones and the side effect being 14
and a werewolf, and horny, for lack of a better word. She zips around the
house, playfighting with Derek while Cora sits cross legged and ignored on the
front porch. Sometimes, she gets confused in that blind, red heat of playing
predator/prey. She lunges for him, teeth closing around his thigh, biting deep
in the meat of it until he screams. It sends something through her, straight
through her spine. Screaming and fighting turns to grunting and rutting, knees
parting, pelvis lifting, and having Peter manhandle them apart before it goes
too far.  
 
Mom says it’s natural for pups, nothing to worry about, but Laura touches
herself too many times that year, wondering if Derek is listening to the sounds
that her skin makes under the sheets. Those years are filled with fantasies of
running away, of running to the deep forests of Canada and killing rabbits with
her teeth, fucking senselessly under the stars and breeding babies and babies
and babies, and starting her pack. It’s always Derek in those dreams, try as
she might to fill the vacancy with some kid from school. School is an
afterthought and so are all the human boys who fill it. She wants wolves. At
14, she is well into her puberty, but Derek is just starting out and she can
smell it. It drives her insane.
 
Derek comes to her one night with his sheets bunched in his hands. They stink
of salt and virility, sweet and pungent. Of course he comes to her. They tell
each other everything.
 
“I don’t know what to do.” Small voice with small lips. His arms have
thickened, legs sprouted him up, soft hair growing everywhere, but he’s still
such a baby. “I don’t want Peter to know.”
 
She takes him out into the forest before dawn and they burn the sheets, burn
the pyjama bottoms and boxers he spoiled. He’s quiet and too embarrassed for
his own good. Later, when they go swimming naked in the stream to wash the
scent of ash away, the sun comes up and she tells him,
 
“You’re growing up. It’s a good thing.”
 
“It never happens to girls. Never happened to you.”
 
“It does, you just have to focus more to scent it. It happens to us all the
time.”
 
She wants to show him, spread herself open and let him bury his nose deep in
that warm, wet place, let him scent her good so he’ll know every time he smells
it that it’s her. Instead, she shakes dry and races him back to the house in
her barefeet. She’ll be innocent for as long as she can.
 
***
 
The next few years are more settled, more calm. The moon curbs her, grounds
her, makes her want only on a few special nights. She’ll spend them with girls
from school, practice tonguing soft flesh and coming on small fingers. Most of
them are popular girls who want to keep her a secret. She never lets a boy
touch her and she doesn’t know why, even when everything aches inside her to be
fucked by thick flesh.
 
A sophomore is going down on her one night when Laura’s mother is away and
Peter is in charge, which means they’re left alone. She’s so close to coming
when she catches Derek spying through the crack in the door. If she focuses,
she can hear the jackrabbit heartbeat, smell the precome staining his jeans.
She lets it happen, lets him watch her orgasm because maybe it’s the only time
he’s ever seen it up close. She keeps the moment tucked away in the dark,
secret place where she keeps all those 14 year old fantasies. She understands
that it’s wrong, understands better now that she’s older. She wishes she could
turn this feral switch off and never think of it again.
 
She goes to college not long after that and Derek loses his virginity. He calls
her right after, excited and proud, which is part wolf and part teenage boy. He
refuses to tell her the name of the girl who did it.
 
“So...how was it?” she asks, even though she wants to cry.
 
“I lasted for like, thirty seconds.”
 
“Ha. I bet. You’ll get better at it with practice.”
 
“I hope so.”
 
She does start crying when he hangs up. Something in her is broken and sick.
She cries because she wanted to be the first, deep down she really thought it
would be hers to take.
 
***
 
The next time she sees him, she’s an alpha. It had woken her up in her dorm
room that night, snapped her out of sleep like someone had cut all the nerves
in her body in half. Simultaneously, she felt the burden of her pack lift and
the weight of power settle on her chest. It leaves her feeling hungry and
scared.
 
Derek is crying and inconsolable in the corner of the sheriff’s office. He
smells like mountain ash and sex and despair. Something major inside her burns
her eyes red and makes her take control of the situation. She practically
carries him to the car with a calm voice repeating,
 
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
 
She never really processes her family’s death. There’s a small shred of hope
for Peter which she hoards, but everything else gets pushed aside for Derek.
It’s because she is alpha and he is her only pack. She needs to care and clean
him, lick his wounds first before she licks hers. In almost one instant, she
drops out of school, collects the life insurance, and moves them to New York
City where they can hide among millions. It’s not the forest she had in mind,
but the buildings cloak her the same way. Up on the roof of their brownstone,
she wishes she could see the stars.
 
Derek is mostly fucked now. He loses weight and stops caring about everything,
which she can’t fix. He spends lots of hours reading, or walking around the
city, or watching television in the dark. Whatever he can do to get out of his
own head.
 
They have one bed-- just a mattress on the floor. At night, they curl up for as
much warmth as possible. After a while, it feels like home.
 
It changes on a full moon, of course. She’s in a restless sleep and so is he.
When they wake up, it’s still the middle of the night and the energy is too
much. It’s surprisingly clear through the smog, shining lunar white onto their
spot on the mattress and she arches her back, slides her nails across his
chest. She hears him shudder and does it again and again. This isn’t teenage
hormones or even moonlight. She knows, somehow, that it has to happen now or it
never will and it drives her forward. She puts her mouth on the sticky skin of
his shoulder and bites him.
 
“Laur,” he tries. She does it again, feels him get hard against her leg.
They’re face to face and her stomach drops, tingling from the waist down.
 
She tells him it’s okay when she touches him. He casts his eyes downward in
caution, to where her hand has finally wrapped around his cock. It’s different
from what she thought it would be. It’s fuller, heavier, more mature.
 
He whines in his throat when she slips her underwear to the side, moves her
hips up to press him against her. She whispers,
 
“Kate didn’t deserve you.”
 
He bucks into her on instinct, gasping when she sinks further down and he
bottoms out.
 
“She never deserved to have this. So beautiful, fuck, Derek.”
 
She rolls on top of him and everything she ever held secret spills forward as
she fucks. She’s never fucked like this.  It uncoils inside her so fast that
she’s spinning, thrusting forward so far that her lips are on his and she’s
kissing him like she never planned to do. She’s mating him, making him. She’s
wanted this all along.
 
“It should have been me,” she says. “It should have been me.”
 
“Shiiiiit,” he whispers. He comes at the exact same time she does and it’s
perfect, the way it cracks in the sky above them. He spills over inside of her
and she bursts like her atoms are splitting, sobbing, screaming from it.
 
They roll apart after to catch their breath, settling over what has been done.
What if he runs from her? The fear is so sudden and sharp that she grabs his
hand and holds him in place before he can. 
 
“Derek, I love you.”
 
He brother starts to sob again, but he doesn’t turn away. He curls into her and
lets her wrap him up. He mouths at her breasts as he cries and she wraps a leg
around him, locking him in. They will stay like this forever if they have to.
 
***
 
Forever turns out to be three years in that brownstone. They both enroll in
NYU. Derek studies history and loves it more than Laura could ever love school.
 
At night, he worships her body like he was made to. He learns to make her come
in all the ways possible.
 
Sometimes they fuck in their wolf skin, clawing each other bloody and burning
at the core. Sometimes they go on camping trips in the secluded valleys outside
the city, stay naked and wild for days. When they come back to New York, it’s
always a disappointment. She wants to run and take him to overgrowth and snow
and pine. She tells him this as he pumps into her, crying out her name. She’s
never loved anything the way she loves Derek and she tells him this, repeats it
like a mantra
 
Nature is static. She wishes to fix them, place them down, keep it this way,
but it’s impossible. Nature hates her. Maybe it’s because they’ve gone against
it or maybe it’s just how it works for people like them.
 
She gets pregnant that year. It’s a grey area between wrong and right that she
just can't decipher. The alpha in her embraces the small spark, but she rejects
it. She wants to hide it, bury it, pretend it’s not there, but every minute
that passes is another minute Derek might smell the change, and she’s running
out of time.
 
Entertaining the idea is too dangerous, even, makes her heart go wild with
primal fear. She knows it will kill them to bring babies into this. Those 14
year old fantasies were naive and stupid. She can’t. She can’t.
 
She gets rid of it on a Tuesday at a women’s hospital while Derek is in class.
It’s clinical and sad. It bursts the bubble, plucks her out of her safe place
on the bed with her brother and drops her into a new world of scars and hate.
She dreams about black haired babies all night and wakes up to cry in the
bathroom, praying she won’t wake Derek.
 
There’s still something innocent about him. She doesn’t want to wreck that.
She’s afraid she already has.
 
Then, she doesn’t touch him, lets his kisses linger pathetically on her lips
until he takes the hint and backs away. They go for a week without fucking and
she never takes her clothes off in front of him. They go for a month. After two
months, they stop talking. It all falls away like decomposition and it’s her
fault. She is the alpha, the sister, the eldest. She is meant to groom and
tend, to keep them growing together like branches. She’s infected with rot and
she wants to expel him from her.
 
The biology department has a field trip to Northern Ontario and she signs
herself up immediately. She envisions falling asleep alone, under the stars
with her thoughts and her wolf. She thinks about pawing the dirt and carving
her home, pissing on what’s hers and fucking whatever she wants to get by. She
thinks about the bitter lure of packlessness.
 
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she says in his ear with her bags packed
at her feet.
 
“You’re coming back, right?”
 
“Sometime.”
 
“What did I do?”
 
“Nothing. You never did anything.”
 
***
 
Two years later, when she dies on the half frozen ground of the Beacon Hills
Preserve, she’s looking up at the stars. It’s almost a relief. She finally
stops wanting.
 
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