Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/9078394.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      SKAM_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Even_Bech_Næsheim/Isak_Valtersen
  Character:
      Even_Bech_Næsheim, Isak_Valtersen
  Additional Tags:
      Trans_Male_Character, Cunnilingus, Gender_Dysphoria, Menstruation, Hurt/
      Comfort, True_Love, Praise_Kink, isak_has_self_loathing_issues, even
      loves_isak_a_lot
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-12-27 Words: 2434
****** blood in the water ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Isak has always hated this time of the month.
Notes
     Warning, this is probably the filthiest thing I've ever written. Smut
     aside, I really wanted to write something about trans!Isak because it
     adds another layer to him denying his sexuality in canon.
     Trigger warning for gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia,
     transphobia, and implied suicidal thoughts. This is a sensitive
     subject so please feel free to message me if you find anything
     offensive and I will try to fix it.
See the end of the work for more notes
Isak is laid out on his bed, a hot compress on his stomach, and sweaty sheets
bunched between his legs. The room is dark in an attempt to beat the churning
pain in his stomach but his body still burns. The only noise is the steady
whirring of his old fan, sending a rush of air on to his hot face. He groans
trying to pull the sheets over him when he hears his door creak open. If It’s
Eskild, he swears to god-
“Isak?”
“Hi.” Isak says weakly, trying to smile and failing. He lets out a sigh of
relief when Even sits on the corner of the bed, his big cool hands combing
through his hair.
“Hey.” Even presses a kiss to his overheated forehead, his thumb running over
Isak’s cheek. Isak’s eyes are closed but he can feel Even’s intense eyes,
running over his sweaty face, taking in his flushed cheeks and chapped lips.
“I don’t think I’m gonna be much fun today. I’m…sick.” Isak says delicately.
It’s one thing for Even to know about him, to tolerate it. It’s another to
actually see what it does to Isak’s body.
Even doesn’t seem to get the hint, he just lies down, pulling Isak to his chest
and running his fingers down his back.
“I don’t mind. It’s just another excuse to hold you all day.” Even is teasing
but Isak wishes he would. His broad chest against Isak’s cheek is warm and
makes the burning in his stomach hurt a little less. “Do you want soup or tea?”
“Soup-", Isak stops, unable to hold back a whimper when a ripple of pain runs
through him.
Even immediately sits up, worried. He’s seen Isak sick before and he’s
definitely never moaned from pain.
“Baby, does is it hurt that bad? Is it here?”, Even’s hands press into Isak’s
chest and then his stomach which makes his entire body ache.
“It’s fine, It happens all the time-“
“It’s not fine, If you’re crying out from the pain you need to go to the
doctor-“
“Well it’s normal for me alright!?”
“Oh.” Even deflates. Isak can see the realization on his face and he wants to
die.
“Can you please just go-“, he tries to stop a sob from coming out but can’t. “I
never wanted you to see this.”
He scrunches his eyes shut, crying silently, holding onto Even’s shirt while
also wanting him to leave so he can stew in his shame alone.
There’s a long pause before Even curls around him. His hands wrapping around
Isak’s face, before he presses a soft kiss to Isak’s lips, wet from tears.
“There isn’t any part of you that I wouldn’t want to see.” Even says and Isak
feels so loved he can hardly breathe.
“I can’t fix this with soup but I can listen. How are you feeling?”
Isak looks down, conscious of the few tears escaping the corners of his eyes.
Even just hums, wiping them away with his thumbs and staring down at Isak. He’s
always been patient.
“I feel like shit. Whenever this happens my stomach feels like it’s on fire.”,
his abdomen lurches at his words and he reaches down instinctively to hold it.
Even beats him to the punch, catching his hand and instead resting his own hand
there, rubbing circles into his churning stomach. Isak sighs at the contact,
leaning in.
“Does that feel good?”
Isak nods shyly at the attention. Even’s hands are more insistent now, rubbing
circles into the exposed skin. He enjoys Even’s touch for a few moments until
he remembers why he’s so miserable.
“The guys wanted me to go swimming with them.”, Isak says quietly. “Usually I
can get away with a T-shirt but when I’m like this my-” Breasts. “…chest swells
a lot. And it hurts to be in the water.” He breathes sharply, the memory making
his eyes burn with more embarrassing tears.
God, he’s such a girl.
“I just got so angry. They didn’t know it was that time of the month, I know.
But I was pissed off so I said no.”, Isak gives himself a second to breathe.
He’s not going to cry again. “Magnus made a joke-it’s not a big deal-but he
told me to stop PMS-ing and I just…couldn’t be there anymore.”
The entire ordeal had been humiliating. Besides Even and his parents, Jonas
is the only one who knows. Jonas looking at him, all knowing and sympathetic,
made Isak want to cover himself. He knows Jonas means well, he does. But
sometimes he jumps to Isak’s defence from a crude joke or offers to help him
carry something and Isak can’t help but worry that deep down, Jonas thinks he’s
a girl.
The sob he’s been trying to hold in comes out. The tears feel hot and shameful.
“I hate being like this. I hate that you have to deal with it. I hate it. My
body is wrong and sometimes…I just wish it would stop. I just want it to stop,
Even.”
Isak feels like he’s going to shake out his body as he cries and trembles on
Even’s chest. Even’s hold has gone rigid, his hands on Isak’s neck and hips
like a brace when he realizes what Isak meant by wanting things to stop.
Even groans sadly before kissing him hard, like his kiss can keep Isak grounded
here with him. “You’re perfect Issy. So perfect.”, he peppers Isak’s face with
kisses. His pink cheek, his small nose, and his wet mouth. “How could there be
anything wrong about you?” Even’s soothing touch turns adoring as he runs his
hands up to the small of Isak’s waist, cupping the slight curve there that he
hates so much. “I love everything about you. Everything. I don’t ‘deal’ with
anything, do you hear me?” Even looks almost angry as he stares into Isak’s
eyes, unwavering. Isak nods mutely, taken aback at his conviction. His own
insecurity feels like acid in his chest as he considers the facts.
Even is bisexual. He likes guys and girls. Not boys with the parts of girls.
He’d just gotten stuck with Isak because Isak hadn’t been able to tell him
until that night in his bedroom. Isak knows Even loves him, he knows. He just
can’t believe that Even could love this body too.
Even must see something in his eyes because he rolls over, pinning Isak under
his mass so he can’t look away. “Let me make it better. This is my fault.” When
Isak gives him a confused look Even continues, “You seriously think I don’t
think you’re beautiful? Every part of you?”, he looks indignant as he says it
and It makes Isak blush. Even lets out a groan of frustration at that, his
fingers cupping Isak’s cheek as he kisses him roughly. Isak whimpers into the
kiss when Even slips him some tongue, forcing Isak to open up. His eyes feel
hazy and wet when Even pulls back to rest his forehead against his and just
breathe into his mouth.
“You’re so fucking hot Isak. The fact that you don’t know that is on me.”, he
sounds so offended that Isak almost laughs until he fixes his intense stare on
him. “Will you let me make it better?”
“Okay?” Isak says shyly, confused with where this is going. He narrowly holds
back a squeak when Even parts his legs, forcing him to wrap them around his
waist.
Isak’s entire body feels like a live wire as Even runs his hands down to his
stomach, peeling off his sweat stained T-shirt and exposing his chest. He’s
still wearing his binder, even when he’s in pain because it feels better than
leaving his breasts exposed. Isak can’t help but flinch when Even unclips the
back, pulling the gauze off him gently.
Even presses kisses to his neck, hushing him as he trembles. For a second he
just stares. It makes Isak want to cover himself, so Even won’t have to look
but then he cups Isak, his finger gently rolling his nipples between his
fingers. “You’re so pretty baby.” When Even pulls one into his mouth Isak sucks
in his breathe sharply. “You’re such a pretty boy.”, he whines at that, his
hands reaching up to grip Even by the hair. He takes his time, nipping at Isak
until he’s puffy and pink before he stops and presses a kiss to his heart. The
tender action makes Isak shiver because god, this boy loves him.
Even eventually moves lower, pulling off Isak’s sweatpants to expose his legs
and the blue panties he only wears during his time of the month. His hands run
down Isak’s hips, the curve is more pronounced now, usually hidden under too
big sweatpants and loose sweaters.
When Even cups his mound through his panties, Isak moans, his legs parting.
Even takes that as encouragement as he thumbs Isak’s clit through the fabric.
He tries not to whimper at that but from Even’s smug smile, he notices.
“Can I?”
Isak almost says no until he sees Even’s earnest eyes staring at him.
“Yes, but first-“, Kiss me, Isak wants to say, but Even is already there,
pressing his lips and then his tongue into Isak’s mouth. The weight of him
pressing Isak to the bed makes Isak feel safe, like Even can’t hurt Isak
because Even is here. It’s an oxymoron but that’s what Even is. Isak’s safe
place and his greatest fear.
Isak lets out a yelp when Even pulls his legs over his shoulders so his head is
right between his legs. He can feel his sex quiver when Even’s moist breath
touches his inner thighs.
Isak can’t help but let out a sharp intake of breath, when Even pulls away his
panties, exposing him. This is it, the moment where Even remembers that Isak’s
body isn’t right and leaves. He’s about to close his eyes so he doesn’t have to
watch when Even’s thumb touches his sex, slowly parting the folds so he can
stare at his pink cunt.
“Jesus, Isak.”, Even says throatily. His voice has gone deep, the way that it
only does when he’s fucking Isak. It makes slick gather between his legs. He
moans, trying to close his legs, to hide, when Even’s hand stops him, pulling
his legs further apart.
“Don’t.” he says, his eyes still firmly on Isak as he circles his clit with his
thumb. “Just let me-”, Isak lets out a wail when Even slides a finger in,
curling it inwards. Even lets out a shaky breath at that before sliding in
another one without preamble.
“You take it so well.”, Isak can feel Even’s fingers press deeper, spreading
him for Even’s eyes. “You’re such a good boy Isak.”, and before Isak can speak
Even is pumping his fingers inside him, steady and relentless. All Isak can
hear are his own whines and the repetitive sound of Even’s fingers fucking
through his slick and into him. It’s obscene.
“You’re soaked baby. Is this just for me?”
Isak can’t stop himself from nodding frantically, only able to make small
whining noises every time Even fucks into him. When Even presses his thumb to
his clit, Isak sees white.
When he comes back to himself Even is pressing kisses to his inner thighs, his
eyes still on Isak’s cunt. He’s not doing anything, just parting the folds with
his thumb. His fingers are so gentle and indulgent; it makes Isak feel more
exposed than he did when Even was literally inside him.
He finally thinks he might be able to breathe again when Even abruptly moves
and gives him the filthiest kiss down there. He lets out a squeal and his hips
would have lifted off the bed if Even weren’t pinning them down firmly, making
him take it.
“Fuck Isak, you’re so sweet.” Even moans into his cunt and the hum of the words
inside him makes him cry out, real tears running down his cheeks.
“Even, Even, Even-”
He sucks hard at Isak’s clit at that, his tongue laving at Isak until he’s
sopping.
“Come for me again.” He mumbles and then he curls one long finger inside him
and presses his tongue in beside it.
The pleasure hits him in waves as his entire body trembles under Even’s mouth.
He still doesn’t stop until Isak has gone limp, until he’s just a drained
sleepy thing.
Isak can feel his sex twitching with aftershocks and he moans when Even soothes
him there, pressing small pecks to his clit and then his hip before pulling
back.
Even lets his head rest on Isak’s thigh for a moment, catching his breathe,
before he slides up Isak’s body, looming over him.
He looks a little gross honestly, with Isak’s slick and blood on his face, but
Isak can’t help but lean up and gingerly kiss a clean spot on his cheek
anyways. When Even smiles back at him Isak laughs, pushing him away.
“I made you laugh.” Even says, looking stupidly proud of himself.
“You also made me come twice. You accomplished a lot today.” Isak says in mock
seriousness.
“I made you feel good.” Even says smugly. “I told you I could.”
“You always make me feel good.” Isak says, softer now.
Even hums, leaning in for a kiss before Isak stops him. “First, go brush your
teeth. Then we can kiss.”
Even rolls his eyes but gets up anyways, heading for the bathroom. Isak lays
there and he can feel the cool air on his chest, his legs, in between his legs.
But for the first time in awhile he doesn’t feel exposed. It doesn’t make any
sense considering he’d just been ‘exposed’ in the most explicit sense of the
word.
When Even comes back, he lies beside Isak his fingers trailing through his
hair, combing the curls back. Isak suddenly feels very fragile, with Even
looking at him like he’s something precious.
After a moment he asks, “Are you feeling better?”
Isak smiles, “Yeah. A lot better.”, and he’s not lying. The cramps have mostly
stopped and the worst pain, his own self loathing has cooled. Because even if
his Mom thinks he’s wrong, or Jonas thinks he’s a girl, Even thinks he’s a
perfectly good boy, just like this.
“Thank you.” Isak mumbles, because Even stayed.
When he leans in, brushing their noses together, Isak’s eyes flutter shut.
“Trust me, loving on you isn’t hard.” he whispers before kissing him gently.
For once, Isak believes him. 
End Notes
     I know people don't tend to comment on really explicit work but feel
     free to leave a kudos (or a comment) if you're comfortable.
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