Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4479488.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Raven_Cycle_-_Maggie_Stiefvater
  Relationship:
      Ronan_Lynch/Adam_Parrish, Adam_Parrish/OMC, Richard_Gansey_III/Ronan
      Lynch/Adam_Parrish
  Character:
      Ronan_Lynch, Adam_Parrish, Richard_Gansey_III
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe, Child_Abuse, Sex_Work, Age_Difference, Street_Racing,
      Past_Blue/Adam, Sex_Toys, Overstimulation, Rimming, Biting, Praise_Kink,
      Threesome_-_M/M/M
  Series:
      Part 1 of the_kids_aren't_alright
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-08-02 Completed: 2015-08-22 Chapters: 9/9 Words: 20370
****** blessed be the boys ******
by interropunct
Summary
     Officially, Adam had two jobs: a mechanic and a barista.
     Unofficially, there were dark alleys and horny men and fast money.
     It’s enough to pay the bills but he doesn’t have any regulars. Until
     Ronan.
Notes
     This fic started out as "trashy sex worker au" then became
     "completely amazing and not trashy at all sex worker au". But I might
     be biased.
     I've royally fucked with the timeline of the series so Adam is 17 and
     everyone else are in their twenties.
     Thanks to TheArcher for beta reading. I wrote this whole thing in a
     whirlwind week so there should be a new chapter up every three days!
     Enjoy!
     4/2/18 ETA: This fic is dealing with some thorny issues in a fairly
     idealized way and if I was writing this fic now I would do some
     things differently. At the time I thought it went without saying that
     this is a work of fiction and as such, some things that happen in
     this fic I would not endorse in a real, ideal world. If you are
     underage, in a relationship with someone older and/or engaging in sex
     work, be careful. If you can, reach out to someone you trust. And I
     know you know this already, but don't take life advice from
     fanfiction. That's it, end of speech, I'll get off my soapbox and you
     can get on with reading the fic. Enjoy <3
***** fall to your knees *****
To pay for Aglionby, Adam had worked three jobs. He’d also been part of the
debate team, and the chess team, and the track team. Not because he cared about
any of their preppy rich kid bullshit but because he’d known he needed extra-
curriculars if he wanted to get into a good school. He hadn’t made any friends
though, had kept his head down and avoided the eyes of his classmates. Sure he
got beat up from time to time but if there was anything Adam knew how to do, it
was take a punch, so it didn’t really faze him.
It went downhill end of sophomore year. His dad found out how much money he’d
really been spending on school and the beating was… bad. Adam was still deaf in
his left ear. He thought about pressing charges but he had nowhere to go, he
had to stay in Henrietta. But his dad started purposely stopping him from going
to school, to his jobs, monitoring his bank account. Adam couldn’t live like
that. So quietly, with forethought and planning and effort, he left.
He thought out the school situation most. There was another prestigious private
school in D.C. that had ties with Aglionby called Darmoth. He talked to the
counselor and the dean of students and just about everyone who would listen
until they agreed to transfer him to the other school for his final two years.
The thing was, living in the city was more expensive than living at home, and
he needed to find new jobs in a city full of unemployed people.
He knew he had to do it though. He snuck around and planned and plotted his way
through the end of the school year, and then, just as summer was turning the
fields brown and chalky, he left.
Adam had his bike, a backpack full of clothes and $300 dollars in his sock. It
was hopefully enough to get him to D.C. but not enough to set him up once he
got there. But he knew if he stayed in his father’s house he wouldn’t survive.
He was leaving now, giving himself the three months before school started to
figure it out.
So he left. He biked a few miles at a time, walking every few hours to give his
ass a break. He wanted to go pretty far in that first day, just in case his dad
came looking for him. He made it into a small town just as it was getting dark
and found his way to the cheapest motel.  When he checked in, he gave them the
name on the  fake id he’d gotten off an Aglionby kid before he left.
He didn’t sleep that night, waiting to hear the growl of his father’s car or
the stomp of his boots. But in the morning he called himself stupid. Like his
father cared enough to come after him, he was probably glad to be rid of him.
The next day he went slower, tired and hungry since he’d now had only gas
station food for two days. He thought about ditching his bike and hitchhiking
but he wasn’t sure it was worth it. He came across a bike shop in the next town
over and they offered him $85 for it, which was a miracle given how old and
crappy it was. He took the deal and started walking, thumb up beside him. He
didn’t have much luck for most of the day, but around dinner time he was
passing a truck stop just as a truck was pulling out.
“Hey,” a gruff voice said, “You need a ride?” Truck Driver was bearded and
dirty but he didn’t look like an axe murderer, and besides Adam’s feet were
absolutely killing him. So Adam figured out that Truck Driver was going in the
general direction of D.C. for a few hours and hopped in the cab. There was air
conditioning. Not perfect, it was mostly hot air, but it was better than the
air outside and Adam almost cried in relief at letting his legs rest. He must
have fallen asleep because when he woke up it was dark and the radio was on an
old hits station. Adam tried not to think about what he was going to do once he
got to D.C. He just needed to get there.
“What’s a kid like you doin’ out here?” Truck Driver asked, southern drawl more
pronounced than Adam’s own.
“Not a kid. And I’m moving to D.C.”
“Hmm, big place for a little kid.”
“I’ll manage.” Adam said, thankful for the ride but not willing to talk to this
condescending older man.
“You’re pretty though,” Truck Driver said. “That’s always a plus in the city.”
Adam stiffened. He suddenly was aware of how dark it was inside the cabin, only
headlights coming towards them lighting up their faces. And it was loud,
roaring like a beast about to charge. But most of all, it was small, just a
bare foot between Adam’s knee and the truck driver’s.
“You lookin’ to make some money kid? Movin’ somewhere new always takes a lot of
cash.”
Adam thought about the money wadded in his sock. He thought about how much a
down payment on an apartment might be, how many nights he might have to spend
on the street before he got a job, how many times he would have to use a motel
to make himself presentable before an interview.
“Yeah,” he said, words only a little sticky in his throat, “I could use some
money.”
Truck Driver dropped him off $30 dollars richer with the taste of come still in
the back of Adam’s mouth. He tried to tell himself it was still better than
living in his father’s house. Besides he’d never made $30 for 20 minutes work
in his life, he should be happy. He wasn’t, but he didn’t let himself think
about it, and splurged on a decent hotel room that night using his bike money.
He slept well that night and had a shower the next morning before putting on
his slightly cleaner Coca-Cola t-shirt and setting off again, thumb in the air
and eyes out for any truck stops.
 
===============================================================================
 
That was four months ago. It was starting to get cold now and Adam was doing
better, for a given definition of better. He had an apartment, that was
definitely a good thing. He shared it with two girls, a couple, and he slept on
the pull out couch, but it was cheap, cheaper than housing through Darmoth. And
they mostly left him alone to study in peace. He had two jobs, officially. One
was at a mechanic’s shop, Carl’s, a mile or so from his apartment. The other
was as a barista at a coffeeshop just a few blocks from Darmoth. That last one
was all luck. He’d studied there with his cheap drip coffee enough times and he
always cleaned up after himself and everyone around him. He hadn’t really done
it with a purpose, just hated the idea of rich kids leaving messes for other
people to clean up. Finally one of the baristas, Blue, had taken notice of the
nice regular and had talked to the manager about offering him a job.
He had another job too, unofficially. Its hours were more flexible, basically
whenever he was too caffeinated to sleep after he finished studying, or when
Clara and Jamie were fucking loudly enough to wake him up. He’d pull on his
most ripped jeans, his smallest t-shirt and jacket and take a bus to the really
crappy part of town. This job was harder on his knees but easier in just about
every other way. He wasn’t sure how good he was, never had complaints but also
didn’t have many regulars. He liked to think he’d learned a few things over the
last few months but it wasn’t like anyone was giving pointers to the guy
sucking them off.
It was a Friday. He’d just finished a late shift at Carl’s and he knew he had
to be up early in the morning writing a paper for school. But the thing was,
rent had been due this past Wednesday and although he had had enough he’d been
left with about $10 to buy food for the next two weeks until his check from the
coffee shop came in. So he knew he had to pick up an “extra shift” so to speak
at his third job. He didn’t have time to go home and change, he knew the late
night crowd  petered off around midnight. So there he was, in the opening to
his usual alleyway, underneath a streetlamp, hands in his jeans pockets to hide
the grease stains on his fingers. A BMW drove slowly past and Adam watched it
carefully. He’d chosen this location very specifically. It wasn’t a place with
a lot of cops, he’d made sure of that. But it also between two major tourist
traps so rich kids trying to find their way around often ended up here. This
looked like exactly that kind of car, going too slow and too ostentatious for
the neighborhood. But it didn’t stop in front of him when he walked a little
closer to the curb. So he let it pass and thought nothing of it. But then the
same grey BMW came back the other direction a minute later and stopped across
the street from him. Adam watched it carefully. The window rolled down but no
head emerged from the dark interior, just a voice.
“Hey!”
There was no one else around which was both a good and bad thing. Adam was
always acutely aware of the knife’s edge he danced on between getting caught
and getting hurt. But he looked at the shiny rims and he couldn’t turn it down,
just walked placidly across the street.
“Yeah,” he said noncommittally, hands on the edge of the open window. Inside
the car was shadow and the thumping of a bass line.
“Do you fuck?” came the voice, sharp and crackling with energy, like a
thunderstorm about to break.
“No.” Adam said, which wasn’t precisely true. He let dudes fuck him before, but
he didn’t have the necessary supplies right now and besides, he didn’t like the
sound of this guy. But he remembered his empty half of the fridge at home and
added, “But I can suck you off.”
The guy grunted and Adam wasn’t sure what that meant.
“How much?” he asked.
The nice thing about guys like this was that it was easy to charge more, they
wouldn’t even notice. With as much money as they had twenty bucks either way
sounded the same to them.
“Fifty.”
“Where?” he asked.
“Wherever you want.” Adam said, against his better judgment.
“Get in.” he said over the click of the doors unlocking. Adam walked around to
the other side of the car and got in the passenger seat. Before his door was
even all the way closed the car started to pull away, fast and purposeful now
that it had what it wanted.
There was nothing but the quick beat of the music and the dull sound of the
driver’s hand tapping the steering wheel nervously. As Adam’s eyes got
accustomed to the dark he got his first look at the guy. He was probably mid-
twenties and broad, hair cut brutally short. He looked like he had all the
power in the world and it was eating him up, frantic energy pulsing under his
skin.
They pulled into a hotel parking lot and got out. Adam followed a half step
behind as he walked into the lobby.
He got a room quickly, probably more quickly than your average person because
the concierge was trying to get rid of him. It was on the ground floor and the
guy walked purposefully to the door and pushed the keycard in roughly. But once
they got into the room his didn’t seem to know what to do. He dropped his keys
and his wallet on the bedside table and stalked around the room, into the
bathroom, over to the tv, back to the bed. Adam watched him for a moment,
trying to work out the safest way to get his money.
“You have a name?” Adam asked, trying to put the guy at ease.
“Ronan.” he said. He didn’t ask Adam his name and continued to pace.
“You still want to do this?” he said carefully to Ronan’s back.
Ronan snarled. “Yes.” And then pulled his shirt off by the back of the neck and
dropped it on the floor. Adam had just enough time to notice the black lines of
a tattoo covering his back before he turned around. He opened his pants with a
challenge in his eyes. As he pushed his pants and underwear down Adam crossed
the room and kneeled before him gracefully. This seemed to surprise Ronan
because he faltered slightly, although Adam didn’t know what about that would
be surprising, it was kind of his job.
Any opinion Adam had had on dicks had long ago faded; they were all just
scenery now. He carefully held Ronan’s cock and sucked the head into his mouth.
Adam’s tongue flicked against the slit and Ronan groaned. His hands fisted in
Adam’s hair which did not surprise Adam at all. But he didn’t move his hips,
didn’t start fucking his mouth as Adam had half expected. so in reward Adam let
more of Ronan’s dick slide into his mouth.
Adam still wasn’t very good at deepthroating. After a few blowjobs, by the end
of the night, he’d usually gotten the hang of it. But at the beginning it took
a lot of concentration. He let Ronan and his hands and his choked sounds fade
into the background until he could just think about the cock down his throat,
focus on relaxing his gag reflex. It worked for a while, Adam bobbing steadily
as his mind wandered to school and work and a resigned hope that his hand
wouldn’t leave grease marks on Ronan’s dick. Then a strained noise interrupted
his thoughts along with a sudden re-grasping of the hands in his hair. Adam
pulled back to suck on the head and looked up at Ronan through his eyelashes.
Adam expected his eyes to be tight shut but instead their gazes met for a
second and something about it made Adam’s cheeks redden although he didn’t know
why. He had his mouth on this guy’s dick but somehow eye contact was too
intimate? Ronan bit his lip savagely and his expression was twisted into a
grimace, but somehow, when Adam looked him in the eye, he didn’t look so
intimidating.
That was enough of that. Adam closed his eyes and went back to work. This was
his job. This was grocery money. This was making it ‘til payday. This was what
he had to do.
Ronan released his grip slightly in some lackluster warning before he came.
Adam had time to pull back slightly and swallow neatly. As he softened Adam
eyed Ronan’s dick for any marks from his hands but thankfully saw none. He
shifted back onto his heels as Ronan scrubbed one hand over his face and then
over his buzzed head. Ronan was panting and sweating and Adam felt a curl of
dark pride. There was nothing wrong with being good at what he did.
Ronan seemed to remember himself and pulled his pants back up before grabbing
his shirt. But he appeared to think better of it because he dropped it again
and lay on the bed half naked instead.
“Take your money.” he said, motioning toward his wallet on the table, eyes
already closed. Because Ronan couldn’t see him, Adam sneered. How did guys
always find a way to make him feel sleazy? As he expected there were lot of
bills in Ronan’s wallet but he only took the fifty they’d agreed upon. By the
time he left, he thought Ronan was probably already asleep.
He walked back to his corner, willing to put in a few more hours if it meant he
could afford something other than beans and rice. Carefully, he let Ronan drift
out of his mind.
***** the pitch-black streets *****
Chapter Summary
     “You ready to go?” Ronan asked, gesturing at his crotch.
     “What?” Adam said again, and then, “Now?”
     “Yeah now. That’s kind of the point.” Ronan said, as if Adam was
     painfully slow on the uptake.
     “Oh.” Fuck, Adam was going to get himself killed, not because Ronan
     was a murderer but because he was a reckless son of a bitch. But
     money was money and they had agreed. Besides, Adam’s blood was
     singing in his veins and for once the idea of going down on someone
     actually felt exciting as opposed to a chore. “Okay.”
Chapter Notes
     I have no self control so here have the next chapter early. Tags will
     change as the story is posted. Also come hang out on tumblr, I'm here
The next time he saw that grey BMW it had just ticked into Saturday morning. He
recognized the shark-like cut of the hood and the shitty music pumping out of
the open window. Adam hadn’t had much luck tonight and he had been about to
give up but this was good. Sure the guy had been a dick, but he’d paid well
which was all that mattered to Adam at the moment. He’d asked for a shift off
at the coffeeshop because he needed to study for a test and now he was trying
to make up the lost cash. He walked up to the curb slowly as the car rolled to
a stop.
“Hey.” What had his name been Robin? Rowan? Adam was wearing a white shirt with
a low hanging neck and he leaned over to show off his collarbones.
“Hey.” the somewhat familiar voice echoed him.
“How can I help you tonight?” Adam asked, polite with only a hint of dryness.
The guy’s laugh punched out of him, sharp enough to cut.
“What do you think I want?” And then before Adam could answer, “Same price?”
Adam nodded and the doors unlocked. He got in.
But the guy didn’t make for the same hotel as last time. In fact, he started
heading for the edge of the city. Adam’s stomach dropped and he started to
sweat.
“Where are we going?” Adam asked carefully, hand on the door handle. He had
seemed like a tough guy, not a fucking murderer, but there was always a first
time to make a mistake like that.
“I’ve got somewhere to be.” he said.
“I didn’t agree to that.” They’d gotten on the main road, jumping out now would
be pretty painful. He flicked his eyes over as if it hadn’t occurred to him
that Adam would object to this plan.
“I’ll pay you double.” he said quickly, as he smoothly shifted gears. That was…
tempting. “And I’ll drop you wherever you want when we’re done.”
“Fine.” Adam said sharply, forcing his hand to relax off the door handle.
Adam glanced over at just at the right time for a street light to illuminate
the curling edge of a tattoo jutting out from his collar.
“Ronan.” he said, suddenly remembering the guy’s name.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Nothing. Just... someone’s going to come looking for me.” It was a lie, but
Ronan didn’t have to know that.
He snorted. “Sure, dude.”
They drove in silence for fifteen minutes as Adam tried to decide if his
desperation was making him stupid or if the money was worth it.
“So,” Ronan said eventually, “what’s your…” he trailed off. Adam knew what he
was asking but damn if he was going to make it easier for the prick. He just
made an inquiring hm noise and Ronan growled. “What’s your name?” he bit out,
like it hurt his throat to say.
“Adam.” he said, before he could think about it. He usually used a fake name,
but in his momentary delight at Ronan’s annoyance it slipped his mind. Shit.
They lapsed back into silence. It took another twenty minutes to get where they
were going. The ‘place’ Ronan needed to be ended up being a stretch of empty
road with a half dozen cars pulled onto the shoulder and into the street.
People were milling around, drinking and laughing and getting into fights. Adam
had never seen something like this before but it was pretty obvious what it
was: street racing. The ugly ass cars with their racing stripes and their
decals pretty much gave it away.
Ronan pulled alongside a white Mitsubishi. “Hey motherfucker!” he shouted and a
thug of a guy flipped him the bird from the other car. “You ready for a re-
match?”
“You got yourself a cheerleader this time, shithead?” the other guy said, words
vicious.
Compared to this guy Ronan was rounder and softer around the edges somehow. He
glanced at Adam with the tiniest of smiles on his face, halfway between genuine
joy and a wry inside joke between the two of them.
“Something like that.” he said.
People swarmed around the car, hooting and yelling. Something about the beat of
the music and the growl of the BMW suddenly seemed dangerous or thrilling or
some combination of the two. Adam felt his heart start to pound. He’d never
done anything like this.
Ronan drove slowly forward until he’d reached the front of the pack, only road
in front of him. As the other driver did the same, Adam caught a gesture out of
the corner of his eye. He realized Ronan had said something, but he hadn’t been
paying attention and Ronan was sitting on his deaf side.
“What?”
“You ready to go?” Ronan asked, gesturing at his crotch.
“What?” Adam said again, and then, “Now?”
“Yeah now. That’s kind of the point.” Ronan said, as if Adam was painfully slow
on the uptake.
“Oh.” Fuck, Adam was going to get himself killed, not because Ronan was a
murderer but because he was a reckless son of a bitch. But money was money and
they had agreed. Besides, Adam’s blood was singing in his veins and for once
the idea of going down on someone actually felt exciting as opposed to a chore.
“Okay.”
Ronan had one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift as
they toed up to what Adam figured was the starting line. He carefully fit
himself over the gear shift as he undid Ronan’s fly and pulled out his cock.
Ronan was hard and Adam found to his surprise he was a little hard in his pants
too. The angle was awkward and he heard a derisive laugh from the other car but
it was soon drowned out by the growl of the engine. Adam licked as much of
Ronan’s cock as he could reach, getting it nice and wet as the sound of
shouting continued outside and then the clear command echoed in Adam’s ear:
“Go!”
The BMW leapt forward, tires squealing, and Adam’s heart went with it, although
his stomach was left behind. He closed his eyes and sucked Ronan’s cock down
his throat, not too deep but deep enough to feel, as the car slid gracefully
into 2nd gear. He felt the movement of Ronan’s stomach, knew he was saying
something but couldn’t hear him over the music, the car, and the pounding of
his own heart. He pumped his hand in time with his head, wet and messy and
enthusiastic. He felt Ronan’s belly-deep groan as he pushed them into 3rd and
judging by the roar of the other car, the race so far was even.
Adam closed his eyes and sucked hard on Ronan’s cock, maybe harder than he
should but he was so caught up in the feel of speed pushing him sideways into
the seat. Ronan pushed the BMW easily into 4th but Adam heard the other car
fall behind and felt Ronan’s hand over the gear shift clench into a victorious
fist. The car seemed to sing in happiness, vibrating with the speed and the
music and the rush of the ground beneath its tires. Adam didn’t know how to
tell when the race was over so he just focused on the hard weight on his tongue
and the feel of Ronan’s cock brushing the back of his throat when he swallowed.
Ronan just kept driving, faster and faster as the sounds of other people and
other cars died away. Adam opened his eyes but this far out there were no
street lights, only the pitch darkness of night and the howl of the cold wind.
On a hunch, feeling like nothing could go wrong in this moment, Adam scraped
his teeth lightly over Ronan’s dick. He heard Ronan howl and the car got just a
bit faster.
There was nothing but the two of them and the car and the road, Adam’s gut was
hot and he was hard and he almost choked trying to take more of Ronan’s cock
into his mouth. Finally after what must have been miles and miles Ronan finally
began to slow the car as his orgasm built and tightened all the muscles under
Adam’s hands. They coasted to a stop on the side of the road in time for
Ronan’s hand to cup the back of Adam’s head as he came with a full-body
shudder.
Adam pulled off but didn’t sit up yet, not ready to look Ronan in the eye. He
just gasped wetly at the speed and the power and the thrill of it. Ronan’s hand
still rested lightly on the back of his head and his thumb moved just slightly
through Adam’s hair. Adam pulled back and Ronan’s hand fell away.
He didn’t realize how uncomfortable the position had been until he straightened
and he had to bite back a groan of pain as his back protested.
“Fuck.” Ronan said, breathy but vehement. With the adrenaline still rushing
through him Adam almost wanted to laugh at the slow fucked-out blinks Ronan was
doing. He met Adam’s eyes and his face fell into a sharp grin that somehow
seemed less dangerous than it had before, at least less dangerous for Adam.
“Okay.” he said, tucking himself away and putting his hands back on their
rightful places on the car. He pulled onto the road and began to make his way
back into the city.
Adam knew he should have Ronan drop him off at the same place he picked him up.
But the buses had stopped running hours ago and he really didn’t want to walk
the few miles to his apartment. So he directed Ronan to his general
neighborhood. He stopped him a few blocks away from the apartment and waited as
Ronan pulled out his wallet and handed over five crisp twenties. He was almost
tempted to tell Ronan it was the best $100 he’d ever made but he bit back the
words at the last minute. He nodded, transaction over and got out of the car.
“Adam,” Ronan called, turning down the music so he didn’t have to shout. “Next
Friday?” he asked, as though it didn’t matter either way. Without hesitation
Adam nodded. He could always use the money.
Then he walked away, taking a circuitous path and making sure he wasn’t being
followed. He almost dropped his keys trying to get into the apartment, hands
shaking as the last of the adrenaline faded. Somehow, he knew, it wouldn’t be
as easy to forget Ronan this time.
 
***** between the sheets *****
Chapter Summary
     “What do you need?” Adam said, no kindness in his voice. Ronan would
     have sneered and left if he sensed even an ounce of compassion, much
     less pity.
     “I need you to keep me awake.” he said.
     “I’m not a Red Bull.”
     “I need you to make me not dream.” he amended.
     Adam nodded. That he thought he could probably do.
It became a sort of standing date. Every Friday when he got off from Carl’s or
finished studying, usually between 10:00 and midnight, he would take the bus to
his corner and wait an hour or so for Ronan to show up. It was nice having some
steady income from his third job, since before that it had been kind of hit or
miss. And occasionally he’d pick up a few other customers while he waited. It
meant by the time rent came due he actually had a bit of a buffer in his bank
account.
And as far as a regular went, Ronan was pretty good. He was rude more often
than not, that was true. But he had decent personal hygiene, he wasn’t too
rough, and he always paid, which was important.
Adam got a feel for his moods too. Sometimes Ronan would barely say a word,
just growled commands that at first set Adam’s teeth on edge. He was used to
anger like that leaving a mark, but Ronan’s anger seemed to be directed as much
at himself as it was at Adam, if not more so. He dug his nails into his thighs
beside Adam’s head and bit his lip until it bled. Other times he seemed almost
relaxed, would tug lightly on Adam’s hair and mutter filthy words that sounded
practically lyrical.
This was not one of those times.
Adam walked out of the alley, his second client of the night quickly booking it
in the other direction down the street, to find the BMW waiting by the curb.
That was less than ideal. Clients usually liked to pretend they were the only
ones, especially regulars. Ronan didn’t seem like the type to lie to himself
about what Adam did, but you could never predict jealousy.
Adam slid into the passenger seat easily but warily. Ronan didn’t look at him
and there was no music playing. Bad signs. But he pulled smoothly into traffic
and went to one of their usual motels. The whole time his fingers beat a
frantic rhythm on the steering wheel and the gear shift.
He snapped a little at the concierge when she took too long to run his card.
Adam hated people who were rude to service staff, but when they got into the
room and Ronan finally looked at him, Adam forgot about all that. Ronan’s eyes
were wild and frightened. He had dark circles and looked like he hadn’t slept
in days. He breathed in heavy through his nose and then out through parted
lips, but the steady breaths seemed like a struggle.
If this had been the first time, or even the second time Adam had seen Ronan,
he would have been frightened of him right now. He looked like a cornered
animal, desperate and willing to lash out. But by now Adam thought he knew
enough to understand. Ronan was always most dangerous to himself.
“What do you need?” Adam said, no kindness in his voice. Ronan would have
sneered and left if he sensed even an ounce of compassion, much less pity.
“I need you to keep me awake.” he said.
“I’m not a Red Bull.”
“I need you to make me not dream.” he amended.
Adam nodded. That he thought he could probably do. He dumped his jacket on the
chair by the door and reached for the hem of his shirt.
“What are you doing?” Ronan asked, harsh as always.
“You’re going to fuck me.” Adam said. He paused. “If you have a hundred bucks?”
He couldn’t imagine that Ronan didn’t. Sure enough, Ronan nodded vaguely like
‘of course.’ Adam dropped his shirt on the ground, took the lube and condoms
out of his back pocket and put them on the bed. Ronan just watched him, not
moving.
“I thought you didn’t do that.” he said after a second.
“It depends.” Adam said, because he didn’t want to say that at first he hadn’t
trusted Ronan not to be a creep. Ronan just nodded as if this was a perfectly
sensible answer. Finally he started to move, pulling off his shirt and reaching
for his pants. By the time Adam had taken off his socks and tucked them in his
shoes Ronan had caught up and was also naked. He looked like he wanted to pace
but was restraining himself. Ronan trying to restrain himself was physically
painful to watch; he clearly had no practice at it.
Adam didn’t have any kind of rule about kissing. He avoided it if the guy had
bad breath, otherwise he found it relaxed people, made them more gentle. He was
fairly sure Ronan wasn’t going to have terrible breath so he put one hand on
Ronan’s hip and the other on his cheek and kissed him. It was funny, how
intimate it felt, even after everything else they’d done.
Ronan kissed exactly how Adam had expected him to. Rough and desperate and
sharp. But it wasn’t a battle. Adam didn’t rise to the bait, he just firmly
stood his ground and let Ronan kiss him, consume him. Ronan’s hands quickly
found their way into Adam’s hair and that at least was familiar. What was
strange was Adam, just out of curiosity, opened his eyes. And he noticed for
the first time the gentle sweep of Ronan’s eyelashes. It was the only gentle
thing about his whole body but this close it seemed like not so small a thing.
He let Ronan push him back onto the bed after pulling the comforter down and
they settled into the middle of the bed. It was nice to be eye to eye for once.
Adam palmed Ronan’s cock and gave it a single tug, not too rough, not yet at
least. But Ronan seemed too preoccupied with kissing, like nothing mattered but
their mouths. Finally Adam had to pull away to breath and Ronan just kissed his
way down Adam’s neck and over his collarbones.
“No marks.” he said, voice scratchy. But Ronan just kept worrying at Adam’s
collarbone with his teeth. “Ronan,” he said, tugging at the back of Ronan’s
neck and wishing he had hair to grab onto. Ronan pulled off enough to look Adam
in the eye. “No marks.” Ronan clenched his jaw but nodded.
Ronan reached for one of the packets of lube as Adam arranged his legs
obligingly. He fiddled with it for a second, hands steady but fingers fumbling.
Adam didn’t offer to help and eventually Ronan got it open with his teeth. He
slicked two fingers and dropped the half empty packet on Adam’s chest. Adam
made a face at this but Ronan was focused on other things, like pressing his
fingers to Adam’s entrance. Adam didn’t have as much experience with this as he
did with blowing guys, but he at least knew what to expect. He tried to relax
as Ronan pushed his first finger inside.
Ronan wasn’t gentle. Adam would have been shocked if he had been. But he wasn’t
quite rough either. He was just hurried, as if he was the one on the clock.
Adam pulled him down into a kiss and that seemed to help. He slowed down as his
attention was split between his fingers and his mouth. But he was apparently a
pretty good multitasker because he didn’t take long to nudge his second finger
in beside his first.
The stretch didn’t hurt, but Adam could feel the skin around his eyes tighten
and he bit down a little too hard on Ronan’s lip. Ronan pulled back and looked
him in the eye, but he didn’t ask if Adam was okay. Adam watched his own hands
trace the tattoo curving around Ronan’s neck until his face relaxed. Then he
kissed Ronan again as his fingers began to move.
After a minute, Ronan pulled back to retrieve the packet of lube and slick a
third finger. This wasn’t unheard of, but also wasn’t that common. Most guys
didn’t care much for prep time. But Ronan watched three fingers disappear into
Adam with a hungry expression, eyes intense and other hand tight on Adam’s hip.
Then he was back, sucking on Adam’s tongue and biting at his lips.
It was Adam who made the next move. He grabbed one of the condoms and tore the
packet open. Then he reached down to roll it onto Ronan’s dick and Ronan
shuddered just at the light touch. He pulled his fingers out and used that hand
and the last of the lube to slick his cock.
He didn’t ask if Adam was ready. He just swept one look up Adam’s body before
stopping at his face. Adam felt like he’d seen all kinds of things Adam didn’t
even know to hide. Then he held Adam’s gaze as he slowly pushed in.
In spite of himself Adam tensed. It had been too long since he last did this,
but he knew to bear down and eventually the strange feeling of pressure faded
as his hole stretched. Ronan did his strange deep breath once before beginning
to move. The energy built like a tidal wave, more and more sweeping over Adam
as Ronan’s hips began to pump faster. It was savage and quick and overwhelming.
Ronan leaned forward, bracing himself with his forearms on either side of
Adam’s head. His teeth were bared in something halfway between a smile and a
grimace. He suddenly ducked down and Adam flinched, expecting a bite. But there
was no pain, only the steady rhythm of Ronan’s hips. He looked out of the
corner of his eyes and saw Ronan’s teeth buried in the flesh of his own
forearm.
All at once, Adam felt himself take interest in the proceedings. He’d been
hard, but in a kind of distant, lackluster way. He’d been too busy thinking
about everything he had to do, had to be, but seeing Ronan losing himself in
pleasure suddenly sent Adam into overdrive. He moved his hips up to meet
Ronan’s thrusts and slid one hand down between them to grasp his cock. He heard
Ronan groaning, loud and brutal, as though it was torn out of him. Adam
couldn’t help the little punched out moans he was making, eyes shut and pulse
thundering as Ronan fucked harder and harder into him.
He heard more than felt when Ronan’s strokes began to go uneven as the loud
slap of their bodies filled the room. Adam sped up the rhythm of his hand
pushing himself over the edge as Ronan’s chest brushed against his. He
smothered an embarrassingly loud noise in Ronan’s neck as he came.
He had to grit his teeth as Ronan’s thrusts became ragged. His body was
sensitive but he had to wait it out. Finally, Ronan came with a few brutal
movements of his hips, his own cry muffled where he bit into his own skin.
After he finished, Ronan rolled over and threw the condom away. He collapsed
beside Adam, panting. Adam wanted to look at him. He wanted to see the mark
Ronan had made in his arm with his teeth, wanted to see if he’d drawn blood.
But he didn’t, just forced himself up to begin collecting his clothes.
Ronan buried his head in the pillow as Adam got dressed, taking his time,
refusing to rush just to get away from the awkward silence. By the time Adam
finished Ronan had rolled onto his back. He looked exhausted, body limp and
lids drooping. But Adam nudged him.
“Why did you need to stay awake?” Adam asked. Ronan blinked slowly at him.
“You ever get scared of what you can do?”
Adam cocked his head. In his mind Ronan wasn’t scared of anything, but now,
looking at Ronan, the sleep-dulled danger of him could be fueled by a lot of
things.
“No.” Adam answered, not sure if it was true.
Ronan’s eyes drifted to the ceiling.
“Are you going to dream?” he said, because it had seemed important that he make
that not happen. Ronan closed his eyes and swallowed.
“I don’t know.” he said, and there was the unmistakable bite of fear in his
voice.
“Do you- I can… stay?” Adam offered even though it was stupid.
“No.” Ronan said, eyes snapping open. “No, you should go.” Adam clenched his
jaw.
“Of course.” he said, and left, thinking of nothing at all.
***** your love is anemic *****
Chapter Summary
     “Not this week then?” Ronan said when Adam got in the car. “I should
     give you my number so you didn’t have to walk all the way over here
     just to tell me you’re sick.”
     “No.” Adam said quickly and Ronan’s hand stilled in his pocket. “I
     mean, I’m not sick.”
     Ronan gave him a completely scathing look.
     “Okay, I am sick. But not that sick. I—” Fuck, he did not want to say
     ‘I need the money.’ That was pathetic. “I want to make you feel
     good.” Wow, that was actually worse. His face burned and he gritted
     his teeth.
Winter was always hard. Back when he lived with his dad it had meant tiptoeing
around money issues surrounding the holidays and working overtime whenever he
could. This year it meant juggling finals with more shifts at the coffeeshop.
And he and Blue had called things off, which made that awkward.
He and Blue had never really been a thing. Just flirting and vaguely romantic
outings with a co-worker. But they’d both known something was going on.
Eventually Adam had gotten tired of pretending they weren’t dating and asked
Blue to put a label on it. She didn’t like being pushed. She pushed back. They
broke up, for lack of a better term. As much as Adam loved Blue, she was
allergic to commitment and he couldn’t deal with that. So they went back to
being friends and co-workers and it was awkward and painful, like getting your
heart broken always was.
As it got colder the routine with Ronan shifted slightly. Instead of waiting
for him to show, usually when Adam got there Ronan was parked on the street
ready to pick him up. This meant Adam didn’t have to wait in the freezing
weather for an hour. But it also meant he couldn’t snag any other clients
before Ronan showed up. Adam steered them towards fucking more than blowjobs to
make up the lost money.
A couple times when Ronan showed up with really wild eyes they’d make a night
of it. A few hundred dollars more and Adam sucked and fucked him until he was
completely exhausted. Adam tried not to care that Ronan never looked him in the
eye after he came.
Adam was hoping they could do something like that this time. He was sick. With
finals and studying and the fever he’d been sporting for most of the week Adam
had begged out of most of his shifts at both jobs to recuperate. Which meant if
he didn’t do something quick he wasn’t going to make rent. He wasn’t actually
sure if he could suck dick with a blocked up nose but he was willing to try. He
was just hoping Ronan wouldn’t take one look at his red face and runny nose and
take off.
“Not this week then?” Ronan said when Adam got in the car. “I should give you
my number so you didn’t have to walk all the way over here just to tell me
you’re sick.”
“No.” Adam said quickly and Ronan’s hand stilled in his pocket. “I mean, I’m
not sick.”
Ronan gave him a completely scathing look.
“Okay, I am sick. But not that sick. I—” Fuck, he did not want to say ‘I need
the money.’ That was pathetic. “I want to make you feel good.” Wow, that was
actually worse. His face burned and he gritted his teeth.
Ronan was giving him a look like he thought Adam might have lost his mind. But
slowly it faded into a little frown as Ronan searched Adam’s face. He tried not
to give anything away. Finally Ronan’s face fell into studied disinterest.
“Whatever, I’m hungry. I’ll pay for the night but I’m going to get something to
eat first.” This was strange and Adam couldn’t help but feel wary.
Ronan drove around somewhat aimlessly until he spotted a diner. It was grubby
but the waitress’ smile was genuine as they slid into a booth.
“What can I get you boys?” she said.
“What’d you want?” Ronan asked Adam who suddenly felt rather put on the spot.
He thought about his bank account. He was hungry but he couldn’t afford to eat
out right now.
“Nothing.” he said casually. Ronan narrowed his eyes for a moment.
“Can I get tomato soup and a grilled cheese?” he asked.
“Sure thing.” the waitress said. Adam got the impression that anyone else would
have gotten a ‘sweetheart’ at the end of that statement but Ronan didn’t really
invite that kind of address.
When Ronan’s food got there Adam fiddled with the drink menu so he didn’t stare
too hard at the food. It was fine. He would eat when he got home. Sure it
looked good, and he hadn’t eaten since breakfast that morning. But it didn’t
matter.
“Alright.” Ronan said, dropping a twenty on the table and moving to get up.
“What? You haven’t finished.” In fact, Ronan had eaten less than a third of the
soup and only had a few bites of the sandwich. Sitting back down Ronan looked
bored.
“Whatever. Wasn’t that hungry.” Fucking rich people going around wasting food.
Adam couldn’t stand it.
“So you’re just going to… leave it?” Adam said, probably more belligerently
than he should.
Ronan sighed as though Adam was the one being unreasonable.
“Unless you want it.” he said casually. Adam watched him warily for a moment
but Ronan just stared and then rolled his eyes. He dug his phone out of his
pocket and started playing some game. “Whatever man, eat it if you want.” he
said, seemingly no longer interested in the conversation. After a second Adam
hooked the bowl and plate over and started eating. He really was hungry.
After the diner they went to one of the nicer hotels in the neighborhood. Ronan
got them a room on the top floor. This was where things started to get tricky.
Adam was about to drop to his knees. It was best to start with a blowjob before
his cold medicine wore off, while he could still breath at least a little
through his nose. But Ronan stopped him with a hand on Adam’s hip.
“Wait.” he said, dotting kisses over Adam’s throat. Adam let his head fall back
to allow better access. Ronan hands threaded through his hair as he kissed his
way up the side of Adam’s face. Adam’s hands snuck under Ronan’s shirt and
jacket and traced patterns on his stomach. Then Ronan reached his ear and Adam
felt a movement of lips and the puff of breath but it was his left ear so he
didn’t actually hear the words.
“What?” he asked.
Ronan pulled back, expression stony.
“What?” Ronan echoed, crossing his arms defensively.
“No,” Adam explained, awkward and wishing he hadn’t said anything. “I didn’t
hear you. I, uh, can’t hear out of that ear.” he said, shrugging.
“Oh.” Ronan relaxed his arms but his shoulders were still up around his ears.
“I just… I said I liked your hands.”
Adam just stared for a second, baffled by this seemingly random sentence.
“Oh! You want a handjob?” Adam said, finally getting it.
“Yeah.” Ronan said with a quick shrug.
“Sure,” Adam said, somewhat relieved. “We can start with that.”
They would have to get naked eventually so they might as well start now. Adam
slowly pulled off Ronan’s clothes and pushed him back onto the bed before
getting rid of his own clothes. Then he joined Ronan on the bed, hands tracing
the muscles of his chest. He was self-conscious about it now, about the casual
way he touched Ronan, as if his hands belonged there. But Ronan just closed his
eyes and tipped his head back, the picture of rich indolence. Adam stroked him
to full hardness.
Oddly enough, this was the part Adam had the least practice with. Handjobs just
didn’t pay well enough so Adam rarely did them. It should be simple. He’d
jerked himself off enough times. It was the same principle. Still he found
himself concentrating on the speed, the grip, trying to make everything just
right.
But something wasn’t working. Ronan still had his eyes closed but he was
rubbing his head back and forth on the bed and his hips were twitching as if
there was something missing. Adam didn’t know what he was doing wrong. He
should be able to manage a handjob for fuck’s sake.
Suddenly he remembered something: a shout of pleasure and the roil of his
stomach as they sped down the road. Ronan had liked it when Adam used his
teeth, and although he’d never mentioned it again, sometimes he seemed happier
when Adam was rough with him.
Hoping he was getting it right, Adam tightened his grip and leaned forward,
using his other arm to push Ronan’s hips down to the bed, hard. Ronan groaned
loud and bucked his hips but Adam just pressed harder. Precome slid down
Ronan’s cock and Adam used it to slick his hand so he could speed up his
strokes.
This was around the time Ronan began to swear. Barely a murmur at first, but he
grew louder until he was spitting obscenities mixed liberally with Adam’s name.
Adam couldn’t help but smile at the power he held in his hands. He fell into a
fast, steady rhythm, flicking his thumb over the head of Ronan’s cock. He could
feel Ronan tensing under his hands and Adam thought his arm might be leaving
bruises where it pressed against Ronan’s hips.
Finally with a gritted, “Fuck,” Ronan came over Adam’s hand and his own belly.
Adam didn’t let go, kept moving slowly until Ronan groaned and swatted his hand
away. “Fuck off.” he said, eyes still closed. Adam got up to get a damp
washcloth from the bathroom.
When he came back Ronan had the palms of his hands digging into his eye
sockets.
“Turn over.” Adam said and Ronan did it without question. Adam had found some
cheap lotion in the bathroom and he thought if Ronan liked his hands he might
as well make the most of it. Carefully he settled over Ronan, putting most of
his weight on his heels. He opened the lotion and poured a small amount out
into his hand.
He hadn’t forgotten about the tattoo. But somehow it had seemed like nothing
until it was under his hands. Then, seeing it slowly appear and disappear
between his fingers, it felt momentous and strange. He tried not to look at it,
tried to focus on the steady pressure of his hands, tried to feel the knots
under Ronan’s skin instead. But his eyes kept getting drawn to part of the
image, a jagged line like a claw here, a gentle curve like a bird in flight
there. It was not the type of image he could have described to someone. He was
not sure, even as he stared at it, that he would ever really see it. But
somehow it seemed so like Ronan, such a perfect representation of him, that
Adam’s face reddened just looking at it.
Adam didn’t really know what he was doing so he tried soft gentle movements,
eventually letting his hands dance along the pattern of the tattoo,
interspersed with harder kneading at the spots that seemed to need it.
Gradually Ronan melted into the sheets as he relaxed completely.
Finally his movements slowed as he mentally measured the pace of Ronan’s
breathing. Yeah, definitely seemed asleep. He stopped completely and watched
Ronan’s face but it didn’t change, smoother and softer with sleep. It would be
weird to sit here watching Ronan sleep, and just as weird to get dressed again.
So on a whim he went to have a shower. He hadn’t really gotten dirty yet, but
the luxury of having a hotel room is that he could shower as often as he liked
and never worry about hot water. If Ronan was still asleep when Adam got out,
he’d wake him. He had to earn his money.
But Ronan was awake when Adam got out, lying on the bed playing with a pink
switchblade. Adam hadn’t seen him bring it in, he must have got it out of his
coat pocket.
“Those are illegal in D.C. you know.” Adam said, knowing Ronan didn’t care.
“So’s prostitution.” Ronan said with a faux-cheery smile. “Do you want it?”
Adam thought about it for a second. Then he nodded and Ronan easily handed the
knife over.
They fucked two more times, without a lot of kissing, and he gave Ronan another
handjob in the shower. Adam actually managed to make it the whole night without
finding out if he could blow someone while sick without dying. After the last
round they fell asleep, exhausted. This was rare. Usually Ronan was adamant
that Adam not sleep there. But he seemed more settled than usual, like all the
tension he usually carried had been stripped away by Adam’s hands. It was
strange, but Adam kind of liked it.
The next morning Ronan dropped him off in Adam’s general neighborhood with a
pink switchblade and $400.
Adam pushed away the thought that he was beginning to like his third job better
than the others.
 
***** I’m not passive but aggressive *****
Chapter Summary
     “Where are we going?” Part of him hoped they were going to street
     race again.
     “A gym.” Ronan said bluntly.
     “Why?”
     “Because I’m going to teach you how to fight.”
     “No, Ronan.”
     “Yes, Ronan.” he replied.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
In the tail end of December, Adam got jumped. He knew it was bound to happen
eventually, the Darmoth uniform tended to make people think he had more money
than he did and he walked through some bad neighborhoods. Luckily Adam only had
thirty bucks in his wallet at the time. Unluckily, this made his assailants
angry.
It didn’t occur to him to fight back for a long time. He just felt the familiar
pain and shut down. But eventually he remembered the switchblade in his pocket
and managed to draw it out in time to menace it in their general direction.
This was when they decided he was no longer worth their time and left Adam with
his school books, his empty wallet, his switchblade, and a few lovely bruises
to show for it.
That was Wednesday. By Friday they had reached peak black and blue glory.
Ronan’s face, when he saw Adam, was thunderous.
“One of your clients do that?” he asked before the car door was even all the
way shut.
Adam rolled his eyes.
“No.” Ronan didn’t really look like he believed him. “Seriously. It was just
some dudes who tried to rob me because they thought I looked richer than I am.”
“Did you fight back?”
“I used my knife. Eventually.”
He didn’t look at Ronan. He didn’t want to see what was no doubt contempt in
his eyes.
Ronan passed right by their usual motel. Adam watched it go past as Ronan drove
purposefully onward.
“Where are we going?” Part of him hoped they were going to street race again.
“A gym.” Ronan said bluntly.
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to teach you how to fight.”
“No, Ronan.”
“Yes, Ronan.” he replied.
“You can pay me to do a lot, but you can’t pay me to let you push me around.”
Ronan clenched his jaw.
“I’m doing you a favor, that part’s free. You can blow me after.” As if it
almost didn’t matter. Something about that made Adam grind his teeth.
“Fine.” he said, mostly because at that moment he could think of nothing more
satisfying than punching Ronan in the face.
Luckily the gym was mostly empty. Apparently most people could think of better
ways to spend their Friday night than working out. Ronan stationed him in front
of a punching bag first, after binding his hands. He let Adam throw a couple
punches before stopping him and changing basically everything he did.
“For fuck’s sake,” he said, adjusting Adam’s fist, “You’re going to break your
thumb like that.”
Adam watched Ronan as he fell into an easy stance. He didn’t move like a boxer
and it didn’t seem like he had formal training, but when his punches hit they
landed with a solid thwack that set the bag swaying. Adam tried to copy him,
mimic the placement of his limbs and the easy force of his swings. Ronan
corrected him, again, again, again.
By the time the gym started to close Adam’s hands ached and he felt hyperaware
of how his body moved in space. He had time to blow Ronan in the empty showers
before heading back to the car.
“Again, next week. Come earlier in the evening. Wear something you can sweat
in.” Ronan said, before dropping him off. Adam wanted to protest. He’d signed
on for a client, not a trainer. But he knew it was a good skill to have, and as
long as he was still making some money he could lose a few hours a week to
punching things.
Ronan was, surprisingly enough, a pretty good teacher. He watched like a hawk
and seemed to notice even the smallest movements. He was full of pithy things
to remember like “Hit with your body, not your fist” and “Don’t think about how
much it will hurt.” He wasn’t really one for praise but occasionally he’d nod
and say “Yeah” like Adam had done something right. It was absurd how much Adam
valued that almost nonexistent encouragement.
They’d been doing this for a few weeks when Ronan finally moved them off the
bag. There was no real boxing ring at the gym they were at this week. But there
was a corner with some mats set up and that was where Ronan took him.
“It’s different punching someone.” Ronan said, “You need to get used to it.”
Adam knew this was a test. Adam was good at taking tests. They just usually
involved less pain and risk of injury. He ran over everything Ronan had told
him, tried to remember how his body had moved when Ronan had said that was
correct. Ronan finished taping his hands and stepped forward and everything
else fled from Adam’s mind.
Ronan looked dangerous. Every line of his body screamed that he knew how to
hurt you. Gone was the patience of teaching, the smoothness of sex, and in
their place were powerful fists and hard eyes. He nodded and automatically Adam
bobbed his head in return.
And then Ronan swung.
Everything disappeared but the fist coming at his face. Adam forgot Ronan,
forgot where they were, forgot everything. He just flinched away, waiting for
the pain.
But Ronan’s fist pulled back before it made contact. When Adam met his eyes
Ronan’s stare was blank, betraying nothing.
“We’re done.” Ronan said as Adam’s blood pounded in his ears.
“What? No.” Ronan just stared at him. “I just need more practice. But I can
take a hit.”
Ronan’s eyebrow twitched and Adam somehow read it as I bet you can, that’s the
problem. Adam felt rage rising in him.
“Come on. I can take it. Or are you scared I’m going to hit back.” He knew this
wasn’t about Ronan, not really. But it was easy to direct his anger at Ronan’s
dead eyes and hands no longer clenched into fists. “Come on.” Adam said again,
hands up to protect his face like Ronan had showed him.
“Fine.” Ronan said and before he’d even fallen fully into his fighting stance
Adam was swinging for his face. Ronan ducked and the fight had begun.
Adam remembered a few things Ronan had said. He swung with his whole body. He
kept his thumb out of his fist. And he forgot entirely how much it would hurt.
Instead he just thought of the cold rage, the need for vengeance, the fierce
longing to hurt everyone who’d ever hurt him.
If it had been someone else Adam might have done real damage. As it was, he
only got a few good hits in and took about as many hits himself, although none
to the face.
Fighting wasn’t as fluid and graceful as it was in the movies, wasn’t
choreographed and planned. Instead it was rough and dirty. It was the hard
smack of Ronan’s back against the mats. It was Adam struggling to get to his
feet after he stumbled. But mostly it was hard-edged fury.
The blood was what finally stopped Adam. It was smearing down Ronan’s chin from
his split bottom lip and sharply, suddenly, Adam realized he had done that. He
let his hands fall as the anger drained out of him. Ronan immediately stopped
as well but he watched Adam warily.
Ronan touched his lip gingerly and then checked his fingers for blood. When he
saw it he grimaced slightly.
“Good.” he said, beginning to undo the bindings on his hands. But Adam felt
sick. He remembered Ronan saying, you ever get scared of what you can do?
What was he thinking? He should never have let Ronan teach him. He was better
off not knowing how to throw a punch. Everyone was better off without him
knowing.
In the showers Adam washed the dried blood off Ronan’s face and then kissed
him, a barely there brush of lips. The closest thing Adam could get to an
apology. It was getting late but he let Ronan drive him to a hotel room. He
rode him, slow but hard. And he couldn’t look away from Ronan’s red, red mouth.
Chapter End Notes
     Short chapter today but next chapter is a whopper so that will
     hopefully make up for it!
***** on my bedroom floor *****
Chapter Summary
     “What are you doing this weekend?” Ronan asked. It threw Adam off
     guard.
     “N-nothing.” he said. His Saturday shift at the coffeeshop only
     started next week. He had homework but he’d already finished the
     project due on Monday. Ronan nodded.
     “Good. Then we’re going to go to my place. And I’m going to fuck you
     until you can’t stand. And then you’re going to fuck me probably.
     Then we’re going to sleep. Rise, rinse, repeat, all weekend. And by
     Monday, you will have earned this.” he said, handing over a stiff
     envelope of cash.
Chapter Notes
     Check the updated tags! Also, I may or may not be writing a Ronan POV
     companion fic... IF I were doing that, what chapters would you like
     to see from Ronan's perspective?
It was a Friday afternoon and Adam was half an hour late to his shift at
Carl’s.
“Sorry,” he murmured to his boss as he slid in the side door, trying not to
think of the paper weighing heavy in his back pocket. Adam had gotten called
into the dean’s office after class and he had been told that the bill for that
semester, due by the end of February, was $2400 more than last semester and
that the difference was not going to be covered by his scholarship. Adam had
called the coffeeshop on his walk to Carl’s to ask if they had any extra shifts
he could pick up. Yes, they did. Monday afternoon and Saturday night starting
next week. Before he got to work on the ’97 Civic waiting in the garage Adam
asked Carl if there were any more shifts he could work at the shop. He could
pick up a few hours before school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Two more shifts at the coffeeshop would be 150 more bucks a week. And sixty
dollars per week from the extra work at the mechanic’s. Adam had five weeks.
That wasn’t even close. Adam still needed almost fifteen hundred dollars. All
through his shift Adam crunched numbers and tried to figure some way out of
this. By the time he got into Ronan’s car, he hadn’t come up with anything.
“What’s up?” Ronan asked, as they drove to the hotel. There must have been
something off about the way Adam held himself.
“Nothing.
“Yeah, right.” Ronan said, throwing him an unimpressed look. “Your face dude.”
As though that explained his concern. Maybe it did.
“It’s nothing.” Adam said. He’d thought about his third job a lot over the last
few hours. But the thing was, he didn’t have time to spend hours waiting on a
curb hoping someone pulled over to pick him up. And he couldn’t think of
anything kinky enough that Ronan would want to pay him $1500 for it. “Just…
school fees.”
Ronan pursed his lips. They had never talked about Adam’s age. He had let Ronan
assume whatever he wanted to and in return he had never, exactly, lied to him.
Besides, he would be 18 in a few months and then I wouldn’t matter. Maybe Ronan
thought he was talking about college fees.
“How much?” Ronan asked and Adam cocked his head. Maybe this was when he found
out Ronan was a kinky son of a bitch after all.
“Fifteen-hundred.”
“Hmm, I can pay that.” he said, “Let me stop by the bank.”
“In return for what?” Adam asked.
“For nothing. ‘Cause you need it.” Ronan said as if it was that simple.
“No.” Adam said sharply. Ronan gave him a look but Adam didn’t care. “You don’t
own me. I’m not your toy. Or your charity case. I’m not taking money from you.”
Ronan sneered, his anger quick and sharp. But he bit back whatever he wanted to
say and kept driving. After a few minutes they pulled into a bank parking lot.
“Ronan-” Adam started but Ronan just got out and slammed the door behind him.
Adam wanted to go after him but this wasn’t really the kind of argument he
should have in front of a bank security guard, so he waited until Ronan
finished. When he came back out he was on his cellphone.. Adam had never
actually seen Ronan use his cellphone. Ignore it ringing? Yes, all the time.
But actually use it for its intended purpose? Not so much. He couldn’t catch
any of the words but he saw Ronan shrug like ‘yeah, my bad’ and then nod
gratefully before hanging up.
He got back in the car.
“I’m not taking your money, Ronan.”
“What are you doing this weekend?” Ronan asked. It threw Adam off guard.
“N-nothing.” he said. His Saturday shift at the coffeeshop only started next
week. He had homework but he’d already finished the project due on Monday.
Ronan nodded.
“Good. Then we’re going to go to my place. And I’m going to fuck you until you
can’t stand. And then you’re going to fuck me probably. Then we’re going to
sleep. Rise, rinse, repeat, all weekend. And by Monday, you will have earned
this.” he said, handing over a stiff envelope of cash.
Adam just stared at the money for a long time. He needed this. He needed this
so badly. But he wouldn’t take fucking charity, which was what this was, if
they were both being honest.
But maybe, if he accepted the money now, he could find a way to earn it.
Fucking fifteen times in three days was maybe doable, or he could do other
things. He would think of something. He had to.
Adam nodded and Ronan started the car.
===============================================================================
Adam, if he’d been pressed, would have imagined Ronan living in a swanky modern
apartment with shiny fixtures, uncomfortable chairs and a kickass view of the
city. He’d been right about the last part. But the rest was not at all what
Adam had expected.
The apartment was the top floor of a building on the edge of the industrial
district looking out over warehouses and the sprawling city beyond. It was open
plan, with a bed in the middle of the room, clean but unmade. There was a loft
above.
“My room.” Ronan said, nodding towards it.
The main room was crowded with books and papers and cardboard filing boxes.
There was a large antique desk facing the floor-to-ceiling windows. The kitchen
was all warm wood and dark tiles. A door in the corner probably lead to the
bathroom. There was a living area overflowing with blankets and cushions; it
looked like someone had been nesting in it until recently.
“I kind of kicked out my roommate.” Ronan explained, shrugging.
“Where’s he going to go?” Adam asked, a little worried.
“Eh, he’ll go spend the weekend with a colleague in Wales.” Adam’s eyes nearly
rolled out of his head. Why did he even bother being concerned about the plight
of rich boys?
Ronan led him up to the loft where there was a tv set up for video games and an
obscenely large bed, also unmade. The apartment as a whole danced neatly on the
edge of ‘acceptable level of mess that television had prepared Adam to see in
the home of two young guys’ and ‘really kind of gross’ but Ronan didn’t seem
self-conscious of the dirty underwear or half-full coffee mugs everywhere. Adam
tried to ignore it.
“Do you want a beer?” Ronan asked, as if they were friends hanging out on a
Friday night. Adam’s gut twisted; he really didn’t want to add alcohol into
this mix. But when Adam shook his head emphatically Ronan just shrugged and
took off his jacket. Adam took this as his cue to start undressing too.
For Adam, sex was sex was sex. Sure, he enjoyed it more with Ronan, but he
still devoted most of his mental energy to what he should be doing rather than
thinking about what he wanted to do. That, he figured, was what made him good
at his job. So the first round was fine. Adam got hard but didn’t put in the
effort to get himself off. Ronan rolled over and made appreciative noises into
his pillow when they’d finished.
But Adam felt antsy. He was hyper aware of the money tucked neatly into the
back pocket of his jeans on the floor by the rest of his clothes. He was hyper
aware that he needed to do something to earn it.
After they’d cleaned up and their breathing had settled Adam stretched out
beside Ronan. The bed was big enough that they weren’t touching. Adam lay on
his side, hand propping up his head so he could look at Ronan. Ronan stared
lazily back.
“Can I help you?” he drawled. Adam knew Ronan liked his hands. Hesitantly, but
steady enough not to seem hesitant, Adam trailed a hand down Ronan’s chest and
back up. Ronan’s eyes flicked down to watch its progress.
“Is there something… you want? That we haven’t done?”
“Like what?”
“Anything.” Adam said, meaning it.
Ronan’s focus drifted off into the middle distance.
“Well, since we’re here… there is one thing.” Ronan rolled over and dug around
in the bedside drawer while Adam tried to control his breathing.
He came back with toy. It had a metallic sheen and at first Adam thought it was
a dildo. But looking closer, it grew wider as it went down and ended in a
flared base more like a plug. Otherwise it was realistic in everything but
color, with clearly defined head and veins visible. And when Adam reached to
touch it he was surprised to find it was warm.
“Where’d you get this?” he asked. He’d never seen something quite like it.
“Custom made.” he said wryly. Who the fuck got custom made sex toys?
Ronan grabbed the lube, it was still out from before, and carefully covered the
toy. Adam obligingly lay on his back and made room for Ronan to kneel between
his legs. He was still wet and open from the fucking so the head of the toy
slid in easily. It was a shock again, to feel the warmth of it. It must’ve had
some kind of internal heater.
Ronan pressed deeper and Adam felt his hole stretch as the toy widened. When it
was fully seated Adam squirmed a bit at the feeling, but it was good. He could
do this. Then Ronan grinned. And somehow, even though Adam hadn’t seen any
controls or slots for batteries, it growled into life.
The buzz was low and rough, more like a car engine than a vibrator, and Adam
gasped at the feeling. It must be on some kind of cycle because slowly the
intensity grew as Ronan nudged it in and out slightly so that it grazed Adam’s
prostate. The feeling was intense and Adam had to close his eyes just to focus
on breathing.
Ronan laughed softly.
“Good?” he asked.
Adam gave him a look.
“Have you tried this?”
“No,” Ronan said, “I use it as a paperweight.”
Adam huffed out a laugh that turned into a groan as the toy began to pulse
inside him. He had never used a toy before, much too expensive. He’d assumed it
would be nice but he didn’t anticipate this. The pulsing he could feel in his
thighs, the perfect kind of warmth, the pleasure building to something almost
like pain but sweeter. He knew he couldn’t manage much more of this. His hips
lifted up in little aborted thrusts and a whine started deep in his chest.
“That’s it.” Ronan coaxed. “Come on. Come for me.”
Adam bucked up as he came in thick stripes over his chest. He didn’t realize he
was saying Ronan’s name until he leaned down and kissed it from his mouth.
“Yeah. Yeah.” Ronan said, just like he had at the gym, like a kind of praise.
But just as the last aftershocks rippled through him, Adam realized the toy was
still thrumming inside him. He was sensitive and after a few moments it almost
began to hurt.
The buzz of the toy dulled but didn’t stop.
“Think you can get hard again?” Ronan asked, curiosity in his voice. Adam
panted up at the ceiling for a moment before nodding slightly. It wasn’t going
to be fun, but he could do it. Maybe.
Ronan carefully kept the toy from touching his prostate as the sweat cooled on
Adam’s face. As the toy throbbed, not-quite-pleasurable tremors shivered
through him. After a few long minutes Adam thought he could handle more and
nodded again. Ronan nudged the toy deeper and at the first thrust Adam cried
out.
There must have been a hint of pain in his voice because he felt the toy
instantly die.
“Hey, hey,” Ronan said, face inches from his own. “You’re fine.” But it sounded
like a question. Slowly he removed the toy and the relief at the lack of
sensation made Adam breathe out in one huge gust.
“I’m fine.” he said, voice wrecked but steady. And then: “Sorry.”
“No, you’re good.” Ronan replied, cleaning of the toy with the washcloth from
before. But Adam felt like he’d failed.
===============================================================================
The next morning Adam woke up first. He was used to being up early for school,
and even on the weekends he usually studied most of the day instead of
sleeping. Ronan’s hands were balled up under his pillow and his face was pushed
into the fabric. Adam didn’t know how he could breathe that way. Slowly so as
not to move the bed too much, Adam got up and went to investigate the kitchen.
Adam wasn’t much of a cook. But there were few things as cheap and easy as
eggs. And there was a least bread although not much else in their kitchen. So
he made toast and scrambled eggs and prodded Ronan into wakefulness with his
elbow.
“Fuck,” Ronan groaned, “What time is it?” As though it was the dark before dawn
and not 9:00 in the morning.
“Nine.” Adam replied.
“Fuuuuck.” But he woke up enough to eat before falling back to sleep. That was
not quite what Adam had wanted but he wasn’t exactly surprised. Adam didn’t
know precisely what Ronan did with his time, but he suspected it involved
sleeping all day and living off the interest on his trust fund.
Still, Adam didn’t really have anything to do. He didn’t have his school books
or his laptop. And more importantly, he was basically on the clock this whole
weekend. He needed to be working. But his work involved fucking not puttering
around someone else’s apartment. Still, after an hour bored out of his mind
Adam decided to give himself something to do. So, quietly, not quite sure if it
was the right thing to do, Adam began to clean. At first he stayed in the loft,
padding around silently and collecting laundry and dirty plates. After he put a
load of dishes on and had started the washing machine though, he started to
look around the main room.
Compared to the loft it now looked cluttered and disorganized. But… this stuff
mostly belonged to Ronan’s roommate.
He checked on Ronan. No sign of rising anytime soon. He surveyed the apartment.
Adam wished he could have a place like this, beautifully rough around the edges
in an effortlessly real way, like a photograph from a magazine spread if you
lived in it for a few months. It felt like a home.
So Adam tidied very carefully, trying to subtract from the mess but not the
feel of it. He didn’t touch the bed or the desk but otherwise he just got rid
of the wrappers and the dirty clothes, tidied papers into rough stacks and
closed boxes that had had their contents half strewn across the floor.
By the time he finished it was past noon and Adam figured it was finally a
reasonable hour to wake Ronan. He did so with a ‘good afternoon’ blowjob which
Ronan seemed to approve of.
After lunch and a shower, the shower was amazing and big enough for both of
them, they went back to bed. Adam rested his chin on Ronan’s stomach and
watched him. Hands finding their way into Adam’s hair, he looked down at Adam
and cocked his head.
“Want to fuck me?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows. Adam suppressed a snort.
“If you want.” he said, easily. He hadn’t done this in a while. He and Blue had
never had sex. And he’d only had one guy back in August come by a couple times
asking to get fucked. Still, it should be easy enough, right?
He grabbed for the lube, but before he opened it a thought occurred to him.
Adam paused.
“How,” he asked, “do you feel about rimming?”
Ronan grinned.
“Why Ah-dum, I do declare.” he said mockingly. But he flipped over onto his
stomach and spread his legs easily.
This Adam had never done. He had thought that no one would offer him enough
money to be willing to do it. But fifteen-hundred dollars was certainly enough
and it seemed like a good way to earn his keep.
Hesitantly he licked over Ronan’s asshole. It was still damp from the shower.
He tried to tell himself it was just like going down on a girl but he didn’t
have any more experience with that so it wasn’t exactly helpful. He started
with little kitten licks, just getting a feel for the tight flesh of the rim.
Then, as Ronan moaned into his arms, Adam pushed his tongue deeper inside.
There was a kind of rhythm to it. Adam fell into the pattern of licking and
sucking as he stretched Ronan wider and wider around his tongue. Eventually,
when Ronan was wet and loose, Adam added a lubed finger, then two. Long fingers
mercilessly rubbed against Ronan’s prostate and he licked at the rim. Ronan was
swearing again, filthy and beautiful. Adam felt proud at this reaction. This
was surprisingly fun, watching Ronan twitch and moan.
Adam wasn’t sure if he should stop now and fuck him or keep going until Ronan
came. Ronan decided for him.
“Fucking fuck me already.” he practically shouted. Adam almost laughed but he
thought that might have been rude.
Quickly he put on a condom and slicked himself as Ronan pulled himself up onto
his hands and knees
“You ready?” he asked, just to be sure.
“Fuck you.” Ronan panted and this time Adam did laugh.
With that, he guided himself to Ronan’s entrance and smoothly slid home. He
bent over and rested his forehead on Ronan’s back as he adjusted to the
feeling. Ronan said nothing for a long moment, then the litany of cursing and
encouragement began again. Adam took this as his cue to start moving.
His thrusts were slow and experimental at first, trying to gauge Ronan’s
reaction to each shift in angle or tempo. But, in a move surprising no one,
Adam found Ronan preferred short brutal strokes with Adam braced over him, his
chest to Ronan’s back. Once he had found what worked Adam could let himself
feel the all-encompassing heat and press of Ronan around him. He found himself
staring hazily at the black lines of tattoo as they danced in front of his
vision. Without really thinking about it, he kissed a sharp curve jutting out
of the design like a broken bone from the body.
It was so good. He was so good. The pleasure coiled in his gut as Ronan pushed
back to meet his hips. Mindlessly he kissed his way over Ronan’s shoulder, down
his back and then back up. Sweat was gathering everywhere their skin touched
and Adam couldn’t help the small guttural noises that slipped out. Everything
narrowed just to the feel of his cock and the bruising grip he had on Ronan’s
hips. Not really thinking about it, Adam opened his mouth so his teeth grazed
Ronan’s skin.
Ronan groaned.
“Do it.”
Adam didn’t think, just bit down as he came with tiny uneven shoves of his
hips. He relaxed his jaw as aftershocks rippled through him and he panted into
Ronan’s shoulder. It took him a second to remember Ronan hadn’t come yet and he
had enough presence of mind to pull out and let Ronan flip onto his back. Adam
collapsed half on top of Ronan and let his hand join Ronan’s where it was
stripping his cock. It only took a few quick strokes before Ronan was coming
hard over his stomach.
They both lay for a few minutes in the aftermath. Adam’s head rose and fell in
time with Ronan’s chest. Ronan threw one arm over his eyes but otherwise didn’t
move. There was a strange calm to the apartment, as though it had just exhaled
a heavy sigh but not yet moved to draw in the next breath. Adam knew he should
get up and clean them off but in that moment it seemed like too much effort. He
just closed his eyes and listened to the steady thump of Ronan’s heart.
===============================================================================
They played video games for most of the afternoon. It felt strange for Adam,
like playing on the job. But they couldn’t actually stay hard 24/7 and there
wasn’t much else to do in the now-clean apartment. Ronan’s swearing reached new
heights of vehemence when Adam beat him at MarioKart. He was only appeased when
he beat Adam. Adam insisted, quite rightly, that throwing elbows and sitting in
front of Adam’s face counted as cheating. Ronan did not care in the slightest.
They fucked a few more times. Adam found Ronan seemed to enjoy getting fucked
about as much as doing the fucking and he wondered why it had taken him so long
to suggest it. Adam longed for a bath but the apartment only had a shower which
seemed like some sort of crime to Adam. He had his second shower of the day
because he could and because he was covered in bodily fluids. Ronan, because he
was disgusting, thought a washcloth alone was enough even after the third
round.
In the shower Adam did some mental math. They’d fucked four times. That was
$400. Plus playing with the toy which probably brought them up to $550. Rimming
was an even $700. The blow job was $750. He had a little over a day to earn
more than $700. He didn’t know if he could do it.
Ronan called for takeout after that, an array of Indian food the likes of which
Adam had only seen on a menu. There was so much they barely made a dent in it
and afterward they were both too full to think about sex. Adam kicked himself
but let them fall back to sleep.
He woke again sometime in the night to find Ronan awake. He was playing with
something that looked like a figurine in a bottle.
“What’s that?” Adam asked.
“Nothing.” Ronan said, quickly dropping it in the bedside drawer. Adam didn’t
press him.
“Can’t sleep?”
Ronan shrugged. In the dark shadows of the loft Adam couldn’t see his
expression. It gave him an idea. He got up.
“Where are you going?”
“To pee.” Adam said although that wasn’t all. After going to the bathroom he
stayed in the main room. The view out over the city was stunning. Appraisingly
Adam put his palms on the windows and let his weight rest on them.
“What are you doing?” Ronan asked from behind him. Adam turned. In light from
the streets beyond Ronan looked rumpled. It was a hard look to pull off without
enough hair to get mussed but something about the pillow crease on his cheek
and the hooded look to his eyes said ‘sleep.’ But as Ronan stepped closer,
crowding Adam up against the glass, he realized it wasn’t sleep that made
Ronan’s eyes look like that. Adam smiled. Great minds and all that.
He drew Ronan closer and kissed him. It was still one of the things Adam
considered Ronan best at. Kissing Ronan felt like falling into a deep lake,
surface warmed by the sun but dangerous too. Adam had never learned to swim.
Still, he had the presence of mind to flip their positions, hand behind Ronan’s
head to stop it from hitting against the glass. Ronan, because he could be
smart if he wanted to, had brought lube and a condom down with him. Adam took
them from him.
“Turn around.” he said. Ronan gave him a cat-like smile and did as he was told.
He leaned forward, bracing his forearms against the windows with his forehead
brushing the glass between them. Adam kicked his legs further apart.
They fucked in the darkness and the distant light from the city turned Ronan,
who was usually all hard planes and sharp edges, into a dream being, all hazy
and out of focus. The various bruises that marred Ronan’s skin became shadows
of the hands that put them there. But this time Adam went slow as molasses and
for once Ronan didn’t protest. Looking out at the skyline over Ronan’s
shoulder, Adam felt like they were the only ones in a hundred miles who were
really awake.
===============================================================================
They both slept in the next morning and fucked twice before dragging themselves
into the kitchen for breakfast. There were two vastly different boxes of cereal
on the counter. On the left was a no nonsense granola. On the right was a
sugary kid’s cereal. Adam was completely unsurprised when Ronan went for the
one on the right. He eyed the two boxes and then glanced at Ronan who, not
looking up, pointedly nudged the box in his direction. Giving in Adam grabbed
the sugary cereal and poured some in his bowl.
More video games after but Adam couldn’t pay attention. He felt anxious and
strange, like he didn’t belong here, or perhaps belonged too much. The idea of
going back to his school work, his apartment, his life, felt like a terrifying
relief. By all accounts he should be sick of Ronan by now, tired of his barking
laugh and his casual arrogance and his too-easy life. And Adam was. But not as
much as he expected.
And if he was being completely honest, he was kind of getting tired of sex. It
was fun but he’d rather just relax without the internal counter to ‘time when
we can get hard again’ in the back of his mind. Still, the clock continued to
tick down and Adam tried to ignore how he felt: out of his depth, adrift.
“What do you want to do?” Adam asked after they completed the fifth level in
the row. He could feel Ronan getting antsy and the metaphorical egg timer was
about to go off.
“I want to go home.” Ronan threw out, staring at the controller in his hands.
“What?” Adam said, confused. This was home for Ronan, wasn’t it?
“Nothing. Nevermind.” Ronan shook his head. “You meant sex right?”
Adam nodded.
“Come ‘ere.” Ronan said, sprawling out over the couch. Adam carefully lowered
himself over him so they were pressed together from knee to chest. Then from
only inches away he watched Ronan’s face. “No, here.” Ronan pulled him into a
kiss.
Adam’s body relaxed into it, going loose and pliant. This at least he never
seemed to get sick of. This time it was slow and deep, as though even this near
they still wanted to be closer. After a few minutes Adam opened his eyes to
watch the flicker of Ronan’s eyelashes against his cheek. Ronan’s hands were
resting demurely on Adam’s waist and that wasn’t really productive. Adam nipped
at Ronan’s lip, trying to lead him in the right direction. It didn’t seem to
work at first but after a moment Ronan pulled away. He looked at Adam for a
moment, considering.
“Can I blow you?” he asked. Adam was startled.
“What?”
Ronan grinned like he knew perfectly well that Adam had heard him but
obligingly he leaned closer to Adam’s right ear and whispered again:
“Can I blow you?”
“I-if you want.” Adam said. The point was to do the things Ronan liked. But
this was a strange request. There was an awkward tangle of limbs as they
switched positions so Adam was lying down and Ronan was between his legs. Adam
peeled off his underwear and settled back down. He wasn’t hard yet but Ronan
carefully took Adam into his mouth and the wet warmth immediately ignited heat
in his belly.
He kept his hips still as Ronan bobbed his head experimentally. He brought one
hand to the back of Ronan’s head, not to push but to rest there easily. It was
fairly clear that Ronan wasn’t very experienced sucking cock.
“Use your hand.” Adam suggested when Ronan ducked down too far and had to pull
back sharply.
Ronan hummed in response and wrapped one large hand around the base of Adam’s
cock. That was good. The peach fuzz of Ronan’s hair under his palm and the
gentle pressure of Ronan’s tongue on the head of his cock made everything feel
hazy and perfect. Adam wanted to close his eyes and focus on the sensation but
he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Ronan, back bowed and lips
stretched wide.
Ronan tried again, sucking Adam deeper into his mouth, slowly this time. It was
strange to have sex without the sound of Ronan’s voice. Adam was usually pretty
quiet during but now it seemed wrong to be silent.
“You’re doing so good.” Adam said, face heating. He sounded ridiculous. But
Ronan glanced up at him through his lashes and if Adam had to venture a guess
he would have said Ronan was pleased. Careful not to choke, Ronan swallowed
around the head of Adam’s cock. “Just like that. Good.”
He noticed then that Ronan’s shoulder was moving; he was jacking himself off.
On instinct Adam scraped his fingernails over Ronan’s scalp, not too hard but
certainly enough to feel. Ronan made a broken moan around Adam’s dick. Adam’s
gut twisted and he tensed all over at the vibration.
He could feel it now in every breath, the pleasure building quickly as Ronan
sucked, wet and thorough and enthusiastic. He brought his other hand up to feel
the curve of Ronan’s cheek.
“So good. God, you’re amazing. You feel so good. Just keep going, you’re doing
so well.” Adam could feel his vowels go long and sloppy but couldn’t manage to
care at the moment. “Yeah, Ronan. Ronan, fuck you’re so good. Please.”
On the last word Adam’s voice broke and his eyes shut as his orgasm shuddered
through him. He barely kept himself from thrusting up and when he looked at
Ronan again he thought he saw a sheen in Ronan’s eyes.
Ronan let Adam slip from his mouth and panted into Adam’s hip as he brought
himself off. Adam petted his hair, not really thinking of anything. But as
Ronan’s moans turned into cries of release Adam was sure he felt wetness where
Ronan’s eyes brushed his skin.
“Hey, hey.” Adam said as Ronan shook through the aftershocks. “Hey, are you
okay?” he asked, worried suddenly that he’d fucked something up.
“Shut up.” Ronan murmured weakly into his skin.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Ugh, shut up.” Ronan said again. “It’s nothing. I always do this.”
“No, you d-” Adam cut himself off. He thought of every time Ronan had rolled
away just after coming, how he’d buried his head in the pillow or covered his
eyes with his hand. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” And then, as the wetness from Ronan’s eyes slid down the skin of Adam’s
hip, “You did so good.” He didn’t know what made him say it but he did. Ronan
said nothing for a long moment, just buried his pointy nose in the crease of
Adam’s thigh. Then, muffled and rough:
“Shut up.”
As Adam’s thumb absentmindedly traced circles on Ronan’s skull and Ronan’s
tears dried Adam thought again of the money. Earning every last dollar didn’t
seem so important right then. He thought that vulnerability like that was
probably worth a lot, especially to someone like Ronan. His heart beat slowed
and his tension faded and he drew Ronan up for a kiss.
***** my best friend *****
Chapter Summary
     Gansey was still standing awkwardly by the door, hands in his
     pockets.
     “Gansey,” Ronan said conspiratorially, “is a bit of a prude. So this
     should be interesting.”
     “Just because I don’t walk around the apartment naked 24/7 does not
     make me a prude.” Gansey replied, a little too quickly.
     Adam accessed the situation. Gansey was clearly not sure what to do
     with himself and Ronan seemed content to see him struggle for the
     moment. But Adam had no interest in playing games. He knew what they
     were here for so they might as well do it.
Chapter Notes
     Now seems like a good time to promise that I won't fuck you over in
     the happy ending department!
The BMW wasn’t there when Adam arrived, which was somewhat odd. It wasn’t too
cold of a night though so Adam could wait. But not fifteen minutes after Adam
got there a horrendously orange Camaro turned the corner and slowly drove
toward him. Adam ignored it. Ronan would be here any minute. He was practicing
what to say if they stopped when the window rolled down.
“Get in loser.” Ronan said from the passenger seat, smiling wide and sharp.
There was another guy behind the wheel who sighed.
“Was that a Mean Girls reference?” the other guy asked, long suffering.
Adam was frozen. He didn’t know what to do with this information. Ronan watched
him a second longer and his smile twitched into something slightly softer.
“Come on.” he said, hopping out and pulling his chair forward for Adam to get
in behind him. There was no time to think things through, only Ronan’s
expectant gaze. So Adam got in the car, followed by Ronan returning to the
passenger seat.
A hand appeared between the seats.
“Gansey.” The guy introduced himself warmly, as though Adam was an old friend.
“Adam.” he said, shaking the proffered hand. “Are you…?” Adam asked as Gansey
pulled the Camaro back into traffic.
“Ronan’s roommate, yeah. And you’re his Adam.” He didn’t know exactly what that
meant but it made his stomach twist. He didn’t belong to anyone.
Ronan stuck his head back.
“I’ve got three-hundred and fifty will that be enough?” he asked.
“For-”
“For both of us, yeah.” he said as Gansey pulled into the parking lot of their
usual motel.
Adam swallowed roughly. He should have expected this. Why didn’t he expect
this?
Ronan was a client. Ronan was a rich child used to getting what he wanted. Of
course to him it would make sense to buy Adam’s services as some sort of
bonding ritual with his buddy. Adam was just a shiny toy to Ronan. He had
always known that.
Adam felt sick. He could say no. He could walk away. He could find other
clients and he could make money without Ronan. Adam didn’t owe him shit.
But why should he? It was good money. It was simple. Sure he’d never done it
with two people before but he was a fucking professional; he could deal with
this. Why would he walk away? Unless his little feelings had been hurt which
was utterly stupid. No, he would finish the transaction and get his money.
All this took a bare moment to flit through Adam’s mind while he kept his face
carefully blank.
“Yeah,” he said, “Three-fifty should be enough.” Ronan’s eyes were bright with
excitement and his smile was soft with something Adam couldn’t identify.
They got their usual room, the same one Ronan had brought Adam to the first
night he had picked Adam up. Adam reminded himself that nothing had really
changed since then. But, as if to contradict him, Ronan this time was calm and
self-assured. He came in and sat with his back to the headboard.
“Come ‘ere.” he said to Adam, patting the bed beside him like a master
summoning a dog. Adam barely bit back a sneer. When he sat Ronan slung an easy
arm over his shoulders and looked at his friend.
Gansey was still standing awkwardly by the door, hands in his pockets.
“Gansey,” Ronan said conspiratorially, “is a bit of a prude. So this should be
interesting.”
“Just because I don’t walk around the apartment naked 24/7 does not make me a
prude.” Gansey replied, a little too quickly.
Adam accessed the situation. Gansey was clearly not sure what to do with
himself and Ronan seemed content to see him struggle for the moment. But Adam
had no interest in playing games. He knew what they were here for so they might
as well do it.
He got up and crossed the room towards Gansey. Adam stopped in front of him.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked. Gansey held eye contact and nodded solemnly. He was
so different than Ronan but Adam didn’t linger on the thought, just drew Gansey
into a kiss.
Adam had thought he would be hesitant at first, but Gansey kissed slow and rich
like dark chocolate or summer storms. There wasn’t the frantic energy under the
surface like Ronan but it was still good. Adam half expected a wolf-whistle to
come from the bed but there was nothing.
After a moment Adam let his hands tug on the bottom of Gansey’s sweater. When
he pulled away Gansey’s mouth was red and his eyes were blown wide. Adam guided
him in undressing and heard the rustle of clothing behind him that meant Ronan
was probably following suit.
When Adam realized he was the last one in clothes he felt as though he’d badly
miscalculated a math problem, wrong and stupid and slow. Ronan and Gansey
didn’t seem to notice as Ronan gently pushed Gansey to the bed.
Adam quickly stripped as they kissed somewhat hesitantly. So they hadn’t done
this before. This was an experiment on Ronan’s part, or perhaps some kind of
overture. It didn’t matter.
When Adam was naked it was his turn to hover awkwardly by the door, not wanting
to interrupt them. But Ronan pulled away and looked over Gansey’s shoulder. He
smiled and Adam took that as an invitation. Joining them on the bed and kissing
Ronan momentarily soothed his nerves. It still felt the way it always did.
Gansey’s hand trailed down Adam’s back, reminding Adam that he was there.
“How do you want to do this?” Adam asked them both although his eyes stayed on
Ronan.
Ronan glanced at Gansey, then back to Adam.
“He could fuck you.” Ronan suggested, shrugging as though he didn’t care either
way.
“Okay.” Adam got up to retrieve the lube and condoms from his pants pocket.
Ronan moved so his back was once again to the headboard and Adam got onto all
fours facing him. As Gansey slicked his fingers Ronan’s hands carded through
Adam’s hair.
“Okay?” he asked. Adam didn’t understand the question but he nodded.
It was strange. It had been so long since another person’s hands, besides
Ronan’s, had been on him. It felt strange to feel himself stretch around
intrusive fingers, knowing it wasn’t Ronan behind them. He rested his forehead
on Ronan’s thigh as Gansey slowly scissored his fingers, stretching Adam
carefully.
It didn’t take long for Gansey to add a third tentative finger and Adam relaxed
into it. Ronan was surprisingly quiet, taking in the sight, perhaps waiting for
Adam’s reaction.
When Gansey pulled out to put on the condom and slick himself, Adam’s hands
thoughtlessly dug into the meat of Ronan’s thigh. There was nothing to be
afraid of but somehow he felt undone. Ronan extricated one hand from Adam’s
hair and twined his fingers with Adam’s, grounding him.
Gansey slid home, solid grip on Adam’s hips but slow enough that it didn’t
hurt. Adam’s pulse pounded in his ears and he almost didn’t hear Ronan’s words,
whispered over him to Gansey.
“Go slow, but hard, that’s the way he likes it.”
Adam had never thought about how he liked it. But he liked whatever Ronan did
so he supposed his advice was sound.
Gansey started up a steady rhythm, cock dragging in long slow strokes inside
Adam. But every time Adam thought he would break from the teasing pull of it,
Gansey would slam back home and Adam would groan deep in his chest. He felt
empty somehow, like he would float away except for the spot where Ronan’s hand
held his.
“Wait, wait.” he said, something occurring to him. Gansey stopped mid-movement.
“No, Ronan. Here.” With his free hand Adam pulled at Ronan’s skin. Ronan
obligingly scooted down the bed until Adam could wrap his hand comfortably
around Ronan’s cock. “Okay.”
He felt hot all over with embarrassment as he licked at the head of Ronan’s
cock and Gansey began to move again. He told himself he was just trying to get
everything over with faster. He didn’t believe it.
But finally he had something to focus on, something to think about as Gansey
continued to fuck him and it was easy to get lost in the weight of Ronan’s cock
on his tongue and the hand cupping the back of his head.
That was when Ronan started talking, swearing really. But it was familiar and
comforting and Gansey laughed softly at the smooth rhythm of it. Adam focused
on taking Ronan as deep as he could until the head brushed the back of his
throat. He tried to remember that this was a job; this was just a good way to
make some extra cash for books and food.
But as Gansey reached a hand around and began to jack Adam off while pressing
kisses to his back, Adam’s thoughts spun away from him and left him just with
the sensation of hands and the growing pleasure.
“You’re so good, Adam. Shit, you’re amazing.” Gansey murmured in his right ear,
as his strokes finally began to speed up as he approached his own climax. He
continued to whisper encouragements as Adam swallowed compulsively around
Ronan’s cock.
Gansey came first with a broken groan. But he stayed still afterwards, hips
pressed to Adam’s ass as he softened, hand still moving over Adam’s dick. Adam
pulled his head back for a moment so he could gasp and shudder his way through
his own orgasm. He gasped in a few breaths before he swallowed Ronan back down,
deep as he could go.
Gansey pulled out carefully and Adam felt more than heard him get up to throw
away the condom. Then he was back and the bed dipped beside Adam with the extra
weight. Ronan’s voice was wrecked which Adam knew meant he was close. He came a
few seconds later and Gansey petted a hand down Adam’s back as he swallowed
Ronan dry.
Ronan just sat, running his fingers through Adam’s hair and Gansey carefully
guided Adam onto his side and curled around his back. Adam knew if he looked up
he would see tears gathered at the corner of Ronan’s eyes but that no longer
bothered him, it was just a funny quirk.
“Well?” Ronan asked finally and Adam didn’t understand the question at first.
Then Gansey laughed.
“Congratulations, you had a good idea. Probably your first.”
And Adam suddenly realized the question wasn’t directed at him. He remembered
with a jolt where he was, who he was, what he was. Adam closed his eyes for a
moment to hold the flood of emotion at bay. It was nothing. These men meant
nothing to him.
When he was sure he wouldn’t do something horrible like cry, Adam pulled away
from Gansey and stood up.
“Adam?” Ronan asked, questioningly. Adam was probably ruining his afterglow but
he couldn’t stay here.
“I’ve got to go.” he said, and then because his voice had sounded more
emotional than he liked, he shrugged. “I’ve got homework to do.”
“Oh, of course.” Gansey said, starting to get up as Adam pulled on his clothes
quickly. “We’ll give you a ride.”
“Sure.” Adam said because he didn’t want to argue. He didn’t want to argue or
fight or talk or look at them. He just wanted this to be done.
They dropped Adam off a few blocks from his apartment. When Ronan got out of
the car to let Adam out he paused on the curb.
“Almost forgot,” Ronan said, as though he’d almost walked out of the store
without paying. Had almost stolen something that didn’t belong to him. Ronan
hooked Adam’s money out of his wallet and handed it over. “Next week?”
Adam nodded, stuffing the money furtively into his back pocket as Ronan hopped
back in the car and it sped away.
Somehow Adam had never felt so much like exactly what he was.
***** time can't capture *****
Chapter Summary
     Then he realized the doors were unlocked and the flare of anger at
     Ronan’s stupidity spurred him into action.
     He yanked open the door, shoved the trash off the seat and sat down,
     slamming the door behind him. Ronan startled awake.
     “What are you doing here?” Adam asked harshly and now that the rage
     had started he could feel it seething inside him like it had been
     there all along.
The next week, someone at the coffeeshop called in sick on Friday and after a
moment’s hesitation Adam agreed to take the evening shift. Eight hours at the
coffeeshop would net him almost as much as an evening with Ronan. Adam didn’t
try to reason with himself beyond that, just worked and ignored the relief in
his bones.
The week after Adam absolutely had to work on this paper Friday afternoon. He
would pick up an extra shift over the weekend at Carl’s to make up for the lost
money.
By the third week Adam knew he wasn’t going to go. No more excuses. His
arrangement with Ronan had run its course. But he still needed the extra money
so he tried a seedy district on the other side of town and got enough to last
him through the week.
He threw himself into his other jobs, into school. He didn’t flinch every time
a BWM drove past. He didn’t carefully save the last crisp fifty in his wallet
for as long as he could. He forgot entirely about Ronan.
He usually walked the mile from Carl’s to his apartment in the evenings. Adam
tended to walk with his head down. It probably wasn’t the wisest option and he
should have learned from his experience getting jumped last year. But still his
eyes drifted down to his shoes and his thoughts ran away with him.
That’s why, he suspected later, he missed it the first few times.
It was a Saturday and Adam still felt on edge from the night before. These days
no matter what he did, Fridays always felt stressful, like there was somewhere
he should be. It was early afternoon and the light was turning the street
golden. Adam glanced around, taking in the foot traffic and the cars parked
along the road.
Then he came to a grinding halt. Halfway down the block, parked behind a white
work van, was a familiar grey BMW.
At first the thought genuinely crossed his mind that he could be imagining it,
taking wishful thinking a step too far. But it was dirty and covered in road
dust and Adam was pretty sure he would have imagined it shiny and clean.
The next thought was what the fuck was he supposed to do. He walked closer and
saw the inside of the car was dirty too, filled with fast food wrappers and
chip bags. And in the backseat were a random assortment of crap like clothes
and crow feathers and was that a shovel? Ronan usually cared enough about his
car to keep it clean. And then he saw Ronan himself and all other thoughts just
fell out of his head.
Ronan was asleep in the driver’s seat, but even with his eyes closed he looked
tired and worn like his skin was stretched too thin over his bones. He was
twisted and scrunched into the seat and it looked horribly uncomfortable. His
hands were stuffed awkwardly into the pockets of his jacket. Adam stared at
him, frozen in indecision.
Should he walk away? Find a different route from Carl’s? There was no way this
was a coincidence. So Ronan was trying to find him. Should Adam knock on the
window?
Then he realized the doors were unlocked and the flare of anger at Ronan’s
stupidity spurred him into action.
He yanked open the door, shoved the trash off the seat and sat down, slamming
the door behind him. Ronan startled awake.
“What are you doing here?” Adam asked harshly and now that the rage had started
he could feel it seething inside him like it had been there all along. Who did
Ronan think he was? Adam didn’t owe him an explanation if he wanted to end
their business relationship.
But Ronan’s face, when he took in Adam, was filled with relief.
“You’re okay.” he said.
“Of course I am.” Adam said, trying to hold onto the anger.
“You didn’t show. I thought-” He cut himself off.
“I thought not showing up would be easier than explaining. I thought you’d get
the hint.”
“Well, I didn’t.” Ronan said, bubble of annoyance appearing quickly and then
dissipating as soon as it had come. “So that’s it, we’re done?”
“We were never a ‘we’.” Adam said sharply but it felt like a lie.
“Why?” Ronan asked and Adam knew he meant ‘why now?’, ‘why are you doing this?’
and ‘what did I do?’
“Do you think you own me?” Adam asked, anger still hot in his chest. Before
Ronan could answer he kept going. “I was always selling a service, not myself.
You just bought a bit of my time.” But that wasn’t what Adam meant to say. He
hadn’t planned this and it was coming out all wrong. “I don’t do threesomes.”
Adam said instead.
“I didn’t know that.” Ronan said flatly.
“You didn’t ask.”
“I assumed if you didn’t do that you would, I don’t know, tell me.”
“I’m not some excuse for you to make out with your best friend.” Adam said
because that was the issue that really bothered him. “I’m not some gift to give
your roommate like-”
Ronan buried his head in his hands and let out a rough laugh. It startled Adam
into silence.
“That’s so, so not it.” Ronan said, muffled by his palms. He dropped his hands
and stared forward and Adam just watched silently. “I know… I know what I am. I
know I’m a spoiled rich guy with nothing but money to keep your attention. I
know I’ve got nothing to actually offer you.” He stopped as if he couldn’t find
the words. “Gansey was a gift to you.” he said finally. “I wanted to show you
the best part of myself. And the best part of me… is him.”
Adam’s anger twisted and ate at him trying to stay alive. But in the next
second it burned itself out and Adam was just left with… Ronan who looked, in
his own Ronan way, like he’d barely been holding it together. Ronan who it
seemed had been living out of his car hoping to see Adam in the neighborhood.
Ronan who wanted to give Adam more than his money.
“Can I kiss you?” Adam asked and Ronan nodded.
Kissing Ronan felt just like it always did, like flying, like racing, like
falling. Dangerous but thrilling. But this time he was more aware of Ronan’s
lips dragging against his, the desperation in them, the hope, the uncertainty.
Adam realized that Ronan wanted him. But not jealously, not covetously. Ronan
want to be close to him, to share his space, to watch him and touch him and
talk to him. Ronan didn’t want his body or his time or anything else that had
ever been for sale. Ronan wanted him.
Opening his eyes as he pulled away, Adam watched the gentle sweep of Ronan’s
eyelashes as they blinked open. Yes, he realized, cataloguing the careful
expression on Ronan’s face.
He wanted that too.
“Okay,” he said, putting one hand over Ronan’s, “take me home.”
And Ronan did.
He took them out of the city. His tires ate the road with a patient fury. In
the quiet of the cab Ronan started to talk. First it was about Gansey, how they
had met, the first summer they’d spent together, a matching pair of princes.
Then his words got short and he bristled with tension as he told Adam about his
father. Just broad strokes, no room in his sharp face for self-pity. Adam
pulled into himself, watching Ronan grit out the last few statements and when
he trailed into silence Adam turned his head to look out at the encroaching
darkness. Only then did he reach blindly to rest his hand over Ronan’s on the
gearshift, hooking their hands together thumb to pinky. Out of the corner of
his eye Adam saw Ronan’s shoulders fall.
The last rays of sun were lost in shadow as they threaded their way into the
hills. Everything was dark and green and alive like the slow blinking of an
animal at dusk. Mists were rising and the mountains were blue behemoths in the
background. Adam felt as though the space between them were shrinking and he
didn’t even have to stretch to place on hand on Ronan’s knee and squeeze as
they turned the last corner.
“Home” was not a mansion that Adam had resigned himself to. It was a sprawling
compound of barns and sheds and one lonely light in the front house. It seemed
to have grown from the soil, natural and shapely and comfortable. Ronan parked
beneath a tree full of green plums.
They got out and Adam watched Ronan’s face over the car. He’d explained that
they weren’t meant to be here, but everything about his face said he was meant
to be here. Adam had never seen Ronan’s face so open, and when their eyes met
neither of them flinched away from the light in his eyes. Adam followed him
into the house.
It was strange and off-kilter, cluttered and dusty like an old library, and yet
every surface full to the brim with life and comfort. The whole place seemed to
have a slow and steady heartbeat to it.
Without discussing it they avoided the room with light seeping out under the
door. They walked and spoke and touched quietly, trying not to disturb the
peaceful fullness of the empty house. Eventually Ronan lead him to a room. It
was filled with impossible and baffling things but before Adam could start to
think about how much? and why would you even get that made? and wait how? Ronan
lead Adam to a bed in the center of the room. Toeing off their shoes but
leaving everything else on they slipped into the too-small space beneath the
covers.
The night was quiet around them and Ronan pressed their foreheads together as
though he could make them of one mind. Something about the darkness and the
silence and the impossibility of this place rested gently on Adam’s chest.
Ronan’s breath intermingled with his.
I’m home.
***** I'd do it all again *****
Chapter Summary
     That was how they came to be standing inside Adam’s dorm staring at
     their reflections in the mirror on the back of the door. Adam, in his
     one and only crisp suit, a gift from Gansey, looked like he was about
     thirty, frown just making his face more severe. Ronan, in his
     signature band t-shirt and leather jacket didn’t look a day over 21
     and Noah found this whole situation hilarious.
     “You look- you- you loo-” But Noah couldn’t get the words out amid
     his laughter. Ronan’s reflection smirked at Adam, who sighed, trying
     to sound long-suffering to cover up his own amusement. They did make
     an odd pair.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The thing about Ivy Leagues was, if you could get in, they had excellent
financial aid. Excellent like ‘pay for all your tuition and your dorm and your
books.’ Excellent like ‘one job is probably fine, two is overachieving and
three is just unnecessary.’ So now that Adam was really at Harvard the money
situation was actually a lot easier. He was living on campus and working at the
library and a coffeeshop for spending money. And his third job had just kind
of… fallen by the wayside. Adam was okay with that. More than okay with that.
Adam was practically blissful.
However the other thing about Ivy Leagues is that, just like every other
college, their dorms kind of had a reputation for being shitty. They were small
and cramped and full of teenage hormones inflated with the rush of power that
came with independence. For Adam, none of that mattered. He was used to small
quarters. He didn’t care about his classmates’ drama. And, most importantly, he
had the best roommate in the world.
Noah was nice, unobjectionable and most of all quiet. He and Adam got along
famously from the first day and Adam had no complaints. He did, however, have
some questions. Questions like: how did Noah always seem to appear in rooms
without entering them? And how come Noah never seemed to take any classes and
yet was not kicked out?
Adam had talked to Gansey about it and he’d suggested something supernatural
was afoot. But then, Gansey always assumed something supernatural was going on.
That was the problem when your best friend happened to be some magical person
who could pull things out of dreams: it kind of fucked with your perspective.
Having your boyfriend be magical and pull things out of his dreams was
apparently no problem because Adam still had a perfectly healthy dose of
skepticism.
Ronan’s transition from client to boyfriend had gone about as smoothly as one
would expect. There had been several arguments about sex. Ronan wanted to just
continue to pay Adam as before, to make both of their lives easier. Adam had
insisted that he wasn’t going to take money for something he wanted to do for
free. And if Ronan wanted to date him then there would be no exchange of cash
involved and that was final. This meant, out of necessity, that Adam would
continue to see other clients.
So for the remainder of his time at Darmoth Adam supported himself as he had
done before Ronan. But now he had someone to spend time with while he studied
or between jobs. They continued to have sex but it was no longer the only thing
they did when they were together. Adam found the prospect of sex purely for
companionship and pleasure to be strange but incredibly rewarding. And now that
he was at Harvard and Ronan had found a place in Boston that was the only kind
of sex he was having. It was refreshing.
And Gansey still stayed with Ronan when he wasn’t away. As Ronan had hoped, he
and Adam got along incredibly well. Something about Gansey’s passions were
catching, made Adam hope too that there were sleeping kings and magical energy
lines over the next hill.
Blue and Gansey had started dating in Adam’s last year at Darmoth and Gansey
more or less split his time between D.C. and Boston. But last time Adam had
talked to Blue she said she’d been considering a move if she could get the
money together. That was good. Adam’s life had finally worked itself out, but
without Blue it felt like something was missing. If he could get all his
friends it one place he knew something magical would happen. 
===============================================================================
 
Another strange but nice thing about Noah was that he seemed to know everything
despite Adam never having seen him actually talk to anyone else. So it was Noah
that knew about the party getting thrown that Friday. It was a combination frat
party and business event, more upscale than most college parties but more low-
key than the kind of parties Gansey went to for his mother.
Adam wanted to go. Or more precisely, he wanted to prove to himself that he
could go. That he could wear a suit and brown nose and look like every other
rich kid high on their daddy’s money. But he didn’t actually want to go. As in,
he knew he would hate it once he was there, which was why he invited Ronan.
Because Ronan’s complete contempt for intellectuals and faux-intellectuals
alike would be entertaining even if the rest of the party was unbearable.
That was how they came to be standing inside Adam’s dorm staring at their
reflections in the mirror on the back of the door. Adam, in his one and only
crisp suit, a gift from Gansey, looked like he was about thirty, frown just
making his face more severe. Ronan, in his signature band t-shirt and leather
jacket didn’t look a day over 21 and Noah found this whole situation hilarious.
“You look- you- you loo-” But Noah couldn’t get the words out amid his
laughter. Ronan’s reflection smirked at Adam, who sighed, trying to sound long-
suffering to cover up his own amusement. They did make an odd pair.
The party itself was funny too, in a soul sucking way. There were only so many
times Adam could discuss the most recent party nomination without wanting his
head to explode. But it seemed no one noticed how utterly out of place Adam
felt. His costume of superiority was apparently convincing. Ronan, on the other
hand, despite being cut from the same cloth as these assholes, seemed utterly
incongruous here. When Adam and Ronan approached someone their eyes would pass
over Ronan as though he wasn’t there, would be surprised if he spoke, as though
people of his sort were meant to be seen and not heard.
They were in such a conversation right now. The guy they were talking to, Tad
or Mike or Vincent, had brought up the need for stricter imprisonment policies.
“No way,” Ronan said, interrupting him, “I’ve been caught street racing a few
times and I don’t see why I should get off free when people caught with a few
grams of coke get life sentences.”
Adam almost laughed. Partially at Tad’s expression, which looked as though he
had smelled something unpleasant, and partially because he and Ronan had
discussed this topic a few months ago and Adam had brought up that exact point
when arguing that Ronan of all people should support lighter sentencing.
“Yes, well.” Tad said, uncomfortably, before bringing his focus back to Adam,
“Even if your… friend has had some run-ins with the law, he has to be aware
that repeat offenders should be treated without undue leniency.”
“But what is undue?” Adam said, raising an eyebrow.
“Exactly!” Tad said, as though this was a deeply insightful question. Ronan
snorted and threw an arm comfortably over Adam’s shoulders. Adam saw Tad’s eyes
dart between them, accessing. He could see the moment the assumption coalesced
on his face, see the conclusion that was drawn. And clearly Ronan had seen it
too because his hand squeezed Adam’s shoulder and he leaned in.
“Adam,” he said, voice plaintive, “Can you get me a drink now? I’m thirsty.” He
was really playing it up and Adam bit his lip and nodded to stop himself from
smiling. “Thanks, daddy.” Ronan said and Adam ducked away to cover his laugh.
It was funny, he thought, when Ronan had joined him by the alcoholic beverages.
How far they’d come. Now people looked at them and thought he was the sugar
daddy and Ronan was his boy. Not one person in this whole party could look at
them and guess where they’d been, what they’d done.
Adam carefully took Ronan’s hand and brushed his lips over the knuckles while
Ronan smirked.
Looking back now, Adam realized, he didn’t regret a single goddamn thing.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Adam whispered in Ronan’s ear.
“Thank fuck.” he said, and lead the way out into the cool New England air.
Yeah, Adam thought, if he had to, he’d do it all over again.
                                    The End
 
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you so much to everyone who read and enjoyed this fic! Your
     kind words and enthusiastic reactions mean the world to me and I've
     had a lot of fun talking to everyone!!
     The companion fic is in the works and should be up pretty soon! If
     you want to know when that's posted you can subscribe to the series
     here. However, I'm looking for a beta for that fic so check out this
     post if you're interested.
     Lastly, if you want to reblog this on tumblr the post is here.
     Thank you again, it's been amazing and I'll be back soon with more!!
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