Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/151563.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Panic_At_The_Disco, Bandom
  Relationship:
      Ryan_Ross/Spencer_Smith
  Character:
      Ryan_Ross, Spencer_Smith
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, Awkward_Sexual_Situations, Best_Friends
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-01-12 Words: 1682
****** bb!Spence and bb!Ryan ficlet ******
by Sena
Summary
     Written for anon_lovefest for the prompt 15-year-old Spencer fucking
     16 year-old Ryan for the first time (age mostly unimportant except
     that I want this pre-panic). I know not all first-time sex is
     awkward, fumbling and painful, but I really want this to be all of
     those things.
He's looking at Ryan kneeling on the bed in front of him. He's looking at Ryan
on his hands and his knees and Spencer realizes that he is in way too deep. "I
don't," Spencer says. He sighs. "I've never actually done this before, you
know."
Ryan says, "Duh."
"How do you--?"
Ryan laughs at him. Ryan actually fucking laughs.
"That's it. I'm not gonna fucking do it."
"No, don't," Ryan says. "Don't fucking--"
"You have to tell me, okay? I don't fucking know how to do this."
"You just. You put the fucking condom on and then you lube up your dick and
then you stick it in," Ryan snaps. "Jesus Christ. I'm not asking you to solve
fucking word problems or anything."
Spencer likes words problems. Word problems make sense. Word problems don't
scare the everloving shit out of him.
Spencer puts the condom on. He's actually practiced it, putting one on. He used
up an entire box that he'd swiped from his cousin's room because he didn't want
to look like an idiot the first time he had to put one on in front of somebody
else. He never expected the somebody else to be Ryan.
He puts the condom on and squeezes a little of the lube on to his hand, then
slicks it over his dick. He doesn't know how much he's supposed to use. He adds
a little bit more, then takes a deep breath, then puts one hand on Ryan's hip
to steady him.
It's not going to work. He can tell right away as he's pressing the tip of his
cock against Ryan's hole that it's not going to work. There is no way in hell
his dick is fitting in there, and he presses and presses and presses some more
and there's no give, like, at all. "This isn't going to work," he says.
"It is," Ryan tells him. He pushes back against Spencer's dick and that's
actually really hot, the way he seems to want it so bad. "Just put it in."
"I'm trying."
"Try harder."
Spencer huffs out a breath and holds his dick in one hand and Ryan's hip in the
other and presses forward and he feels it start to slip in. He can see Ryan
starting to open up around him. It's hot and weird at the same time.
Ryan makes a noise and drops his head and his back goes rigid.
"Ryan," Spencer says. He doesn't know what the sudden tension in Ryan's body
means, if he's hurting him or if it's good or what. "Is it okay?"
"Yeah," Ryan whispers, but that's pain in his voice. Spencer knows Ryan's
voice, knows his expressions, and he knows the sound of Ryan in pain when he
hears it.
"I don't want to hurt--"
"Just fuck me," Ryan tells him. "Just, please, Spence. I need you to."
Spencer bites his lower lip and presses forward. It's slow going and it feels
good and like it's too much all at the same time. Ryan is so tight around him
and even through the condom Spencer's hypersensitive. He's halfway in when Ryan
whimpers, actually whimpers and Spencer freezes. He says, "Ryan."
Ryan doesn't answer him. He's breathing hard and he's dropped down onto his
elbows.
"Ryan," Spencer says again.
"It's okay," Ryan whispers. "I can take it." He's starting to shake.
Spencer pulls out, slow as he can. Once he's out he slicks off the condom and
throws it against the wall. "This is so stupid," he says.
Ryan drops down and rolls onto his side, back to Spencer, face to the wall.
"Ryan," Spencer says, reaching out to touch his shoulder
Ryan's entire body is tense, angry, vibrating with it. He says, "Don't touch
me." He says, "You said you'd do it."
"I don't want you to just fucking take it," Spencer whispers. He wants to die.
He wanted this to be different. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I don't care that it hurts," Ryan whispers.
"Well, I do. I don't want to just fuck you and get off and give you nothing."
"It wouldn't be nothing," Ryan says. "You said you would."
"I'm not saying I won't, I'm saying I'm not right now. I'm saying I don't know
what the hell I'm doing. I'm saying I don't want to hurt you."
Ryan doesn't answer him.
Spencer stretches out behind him, tucks his knees in behind Ryan's, presses his
face to the back to Ryan's neck, slings his arm around Ryan's body.
"Seriously?" he asks softly. "Seriously, you're going to be like this because I
don’t want to hurt you?"
"You said you'd do it," Ryan says. He tries to elbow Spencer in the ribs, but
it's a halfhearted move and Spencer's expecting it, anyway, so he deflects it
easily.
"Well, obviously we're doing it wrong."
"People do this all the time. Like, every single day. Like, probably at every
given moment there are a thousand people in the world having anal sex," Ryan
tells him.
"Great," says Spencer. "Let's call them up and ask them what the fuck we're
doing wrong."
Ryan's silent for a long moment. Then he says, "Maybe if you, you know. I don't
know."
"What?"
"Never mind."
"You're such a fucking pain in my ass," Spencer grumbles.
Ryan laughs, loud and quick. He says, "Dude, you don't ever get to say that to
me ever again. You have no idea."
Spencer closes his eyes and rocks his still-hard dick against Ryan's ass for a
moment. He says, "What if I fingered you?"
Ryan snorts. He says, "I don't want your fingers."
"Okay, yeah, and I totally want to put my dick in you. We both want that. But
since that's not working, I'm gonna use my fingers, okay?"
Ryan says, "Whatever."
Spencer says, "Seriously. Such a pain in my ass." He pulls away and looks
around for the lube, finds it in a fold of the sheets near his knees. He says,
"Lay on your stomach."
Ryan grumbles, but he does it. Then he grumbles some more and shoves a pillow
under his hips, angling his ass up into the air. If Spencer wasn't so nervous,
he'd be kind of awed at how hot Ryan looks like that.
He slicks up his right middle finger with the lube and presses the tip to
Ryan's hole. He strokes over it and is kind of amazed when he sees it move,
kind of twitch against his touch. He does it again, keeps stroking it, pressing
against it, sliding his fingers around it.
Ryan says, "That's nice," in a breathy voice. He's totally trying to pretend
he's not turned on, but Spencer knows better.
It's a relief to know that Ryan likes it. It's a relief to know he's doing
something right.
He strokes Ryan's hole and presses his finger against it and wiggles a little
bit until he's inside up to the first knuckle. "Okay?" he asks.
"Yeah," Ryan says. "It's weird."
"Bad weird?"
"No. Just. Just weird." He spreads his thighs a little bit. "You can keep
going."
Spencer presses in a little further, then pulls out, then presses in again.
Ryan's really tight. He's so hot inside, hotter than Spencer expected. He
thinks about the fact that he's actually inside Ryan's body and he shudders and
his cock throbs.
"You're really tight," he says.
"You can put another one in," Ryan tells him. "I usually use two when I. You
know. Sometimes I..."
"God," Spencer whispers. He thinks about Ryan jerking off, thinks about Ryan
fucking himself on his own fingers. He slides another finger inside along the
first and Ryan sighs softly and says, "Yeah."
It's amazing to watch, the way his fingers are disappearing inside of Ryan, the
way Ryan's arching back to meet him.
"It doesn't hurt?" Spencer asks.
Ryan shakes his head. "Feels good."
"Weird, still?"
"A little bit," Ryan admits. He rolls his hips and Spencer can tell that he's
rubbing his cock against the pillow.
"Could you get off like this? With my fingers in you?"
Ryan hums softly in the back of his throat and nods and grinds his hips down.
"I wanna get you off like this," Spencer whispers.
"I want you to get off, too."
Spencer's cock is so hard it's flush against his stomach. He thinks if he
touches it even once he'll probably come. He says, "I am." He says, "You look
so hot like this."
Ryan says, "Faster. A little harder."
Spencer shifts up onto his knees and increases the pace. He's sliding slick and
easy into Ryan's body, now. He grips the base of his cock with his left hand
and squeezes tight, closes his eyes and tries not to think about the soft,
needy sounds Ryan's making.
"Want you to fuck me so bad," Ryan whimpers.
"Yeah."
"Want you to fuck me hard. Want you to fuck me so hard I can feel it for days.
God, Spence. Want to go to school on Monday and feel it, want to be sore from
it, want to be able to sit there in class and know it's because of you."
Spencer thinks about Ryan in his school uniform, shifting on the hard wooden
chairs in the classrooms, thinks about Ryan getting hard right there in class
remembering it, still feeling it, and Spencer gasps and comes in thick stripes
across Ryan's back.
Then Ryan's ass closes tight on his fingers, squeezes down on him so hard and
Ryan's gasping and bucking and coming, too.
This time when Ryan curls onto his side, he curls against Spencer. His face is
flushed and he's grinning against the skin of Spencer's shoulder. "Still would
have been better if it had been your cock," he says.
"Later," Spencer assures him, feeling fuzzy and giddy and weak. They have all
weekend, Spencer's family in Colorado until Sunday afternoon. "Later I'll open
you up like that again so I can fit my cock inside, okay?"
Ryan shivers and hooks his leg over Spencer's hips and says, "Yes."
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