Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1536683. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Percy_Jackson_and_the_Olympians_-_Rick_Riordan Relationship: Luke_Castellan/Percy_Jackson Character: Luke_Castellan, Percy_Jackson Additional Tags: Sibling_Incest, like_i_didn't_intend_for_this_to_happen, but_it_did, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Alternate_Universe_-_Siblings Stats: Published: 2014-04-28 Words: 6039 ****** back off loneliness and hello tenderness ****** by seditonem Summary (did i mention the incest because there's incest) percy and luke are reborn as brothers in a modern day setting, in england. Notes See the end of the work for notes Percy stared out of the second-floor maths classroom, contemplating throwing himself out of the window.  No, that was too melodramatic, he decided. If he was going to choose a form of suicide, it’d have to be more effective and less public.  And really, that was pretty melodramatic in itself, the whole contemplating suicide thing, he decided, and turned his attention back to integration. The equations didn’t want to settle on the page, unfortunately. He tapped his pen angrily against the page, trying to figure out why it wouldn’t work out, and checked the example in the book again. Nothing. He looked up at the board, trying to reread the examples they’d just gone through that lesson, but his eye was caught by a figure standing by the door, waving at him through the clear plastic section of the door.  His brother.  Well, no one else would wave to him during lessons, would they? Percy had pretty much accepted his position as a social loser in school, and that was just fine with him, anyway. He doubted most people were into sword-fighting, back-packing on weekends or sleeping rough on beaches. He was the sole member of the Duke of Edinburgh society at his school that wasn’t doing the expeditions just to put them on their future UCAS forms.  He lifted the fingers of his left hand and waved them slightly at his brother.  “Ice-cream after school?” Luke mouthed through the door. Percy nodded, almost imperceptibly, and checked his teacher wasn’t watching. Luke winked at him and disappeared. He had a free period last thing on a Friday, while Percy had Maths, so Percy would usually traipse home to find Luke already sprawled out over the sofa, playing vintage computer games like the original Call of Duty.  The lesson dragged. Percy sat and stared out of the window, watching the buds of new leaves sway in the spring breeze. In two months he would be writing his second last set of exams in school, and Luke would leave school forever, and come September he’d be off in York, in university. Percy shifted in his seat, uneasy. He didn’t know why, but the idea of Luke leaving made his gut clench painfully. Probably it was because, as his mum always said, they were inseparable.  “You might as well have been born twins,” she sighed, once, when their older sister had moved out and left her room open for one of them, but both Percy and Luke had refused to move out.  But Luke was going to York and Percy was going to stay at school. He didn’t know what he’d do once he got out of school – perhaps go on a gap year. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t like the idea of sitting behind a desk for the rest of his life. He’d even considered the army or the marines, but one look at Luke’s face when he’d suggested it had made his mind up. The only thing that seemed like a good idea was marine biology, or something to do with conservation – he wanted to work by the ocean, in any case.  Abruptly, the bell rang, shattering his thoughts. Percy stared down at the page, realising he hadn’t managed even one of the questions he’d been set during the lesson. Extra homework, then, he sighed, slapping the book shut and packing up his bag. “Don’t forget to do the homework on lined paper,” his teacher called after him, as Percy hurtled down the steps and out through the school to the front gates.  “Fun lesson?” Luke grinned, appearing out of nowhere with a Cornetto in his hand and passing it to Percy.  “Oh, you’re a life-saver,” sighed Percy, licking at the chocolate sauce. They turned left out of the school towards home, the cool spring wind nipping at their necks.  “What’re you doing this weekend?” Luke asked, after a contented silence that indicated the ice-creams were good.  “Dunno,” shrugged Percy, licking away a drop of melted ice-cream from his thumb. He looked sideways at Luke from beneath his eyelashes. His brother’s lips were quirked, like he was having an internal argument with himself, and one side of him was laughing while the other was sad. “Might just kick it at home this time,” Percy amended, after a second. Luke looked at him, eyes glinting. “You wanna go down to New Forest?” he asked, licking at the Magnum he’d got.  “You mean, like, for the day?” Percy frowned.  Luke shrugged. “I can drive us and we could camp on Saturday night, come back early Sunday, something like that,” he said, idly, like it was no big thing. Percy gaped. Luke was probably the only person in his family who shared his love of wild places, places where you could hear no living soul, see no evidence of human life. They were hard to find, but New Forest was generally the best place to try. “I’d drive us down to the seaside but that’s a little too far, even though it’s your favourite. What d’you say?” Luke asked, smiling. He already knew the answer, though.  # Early on Saturday morning, Luke loaded their parents’ car, pushed a slightly sleepy Percy into the back seat, and started driving. Their mum had packed sandwiches, a flask of tea, and several packs of sweets. Luke had added supplies of marshmallows and hamburgers, in case of an emergency.  Percy slept for most of the two hour drive to New Forest, having stayed up stupidly late the night before due to excitement. He curled up on the back seat, covered in one of the luridly orange emergency sleeping bags. He woke up, hair at odd angles, as they drove into the park, the lane becoming narrower. Trees began to appear on either side, a faint mist over the horizon. Percy clambered over into the front passenger seat, staring out of the window. He caught Luke’s amused grin and punched him gently in the upper thigh, turning the radio up.  “We can set up base camp there,” Luke said, pointing to one of the camping areas.  “Let’s go further in,” Percy suggested, “we’ve been there before.” Luke shrugged but continued driving.  About an hour later they came to a spot that Percy deemed acceptable. Luke parked and they set up a tent – a small, two-man one made from green material that Percy had used since he was old enough to go on expeditions. They had lunch, drank what was left of the tea, and then headed down to the forest proper, wearing walking boots and carrying a rucksack each.  It was quiet in the forest, since it wasn’t a holiday and none of the usual family trips had started. There were no school expeditions either, since they’d chosen a relatively unknown spot in the forest. They walked in silence for an hour, passing the first blue-bells of the season and stopping only to watch a tiny hare that slipped away into the shadows.  Late in the afternoon they stumbled into a small clearing, almost invisible due to the trees around it. Percy stared up at the perfect circle of sky above them, where the trees were reaching out to one another, and couldn’t help smiling.  “Feels like I’ve been here before,” he said, suddenly. Next to him, Luke stepped a little closer, until the heat of his body bled through their clothes and onto Percy’s skin.  “I know what you mean,” Luke said, quietly. He paused, and then began to say something. “D’you ever – do you ever, like,” he paused again, and Percy looked at him in confusion. Luke never stumbled over his words. He was calm and composed, like he’d done life before and knew all the cheat codes.  “What?” Percy asked, elbowing Luke’s side. Luke shook himself, biting his lip. “D’you ever feel like you’ve seen things in life before?” he asked, finally. “What, like déjà vu?” Percy frowned. Luke shook his head.  “No, like you’ve experienced them before, the whole of it.”  Percy thought about it for a second, staring back up at the sky. A cloud passed overhead, blotting out the light. “Yeah,” he said, finally. “The first time I went to a fencing lesson,” he continued. “It was like I knew exactly what to do without them having to tell me.”  Luke nodded, seemingly pleased. “Sometimes when we’re running through the forest or somethin’, and my heart’s pumping and I’m almost scared because it’s dark – ” He broke off abruptly.  “It feels familiar, doesn’t it,” Percy said, and they stared at one another.  “Yeah,” breathed Luke. His eyes seemed unfocused, even as he looked at Percy.  The cloud moved away from the sun and Percy turned away, feeling like he’d just run a mile at top speed. “We should head back,” Luke said, his voice sounding too loud in the tiny clearing, and moved away. It was beginning to get dark as they walked back. The shadows of the trees were blurring together, their leaves touching as if for support through the night. Percy found himself walking closer to Luke, even though they were getting nearer to camp. He couldn’t stop breathing in the air – the clean, sweet air that the city could never replicate. The forests were his favourite places to be, after beaches, rivers and seas.  “Can’t we just stay here for the night?” he asked, suddenly. Luke frowned at him.  “You know we’re not supposed to be out here after dark,” he sighed, poking Percy’s upper arm gently.  “Yeah, well,” Percy muttered, digging the toe of his boot into the dirt.  “Fine, fine,” Luke said, defeated. “I guess this is the last time we can come here for a while, anyway, what with you failing your Maths mock,” he teased, and then sprinted away from Percy to the car. They ate supper fast by the tent, waiting until the rest of the campsite had gone to sleep, and then slipped off into the forest, sleeping bags in hand. It was nearly ten by the time they reached the tiny clearing, and Percy was oddly tired. He spread out his sleeping bag and the thin bedroll that went underneath it, then kicked off his boots and lay down, curling up to keep warm. Luke set up just next to him, close enough that Percy could feel his arm if he reached out slightly.  “’s cold,” Percy mumbled sleepily. “Course it is, idiot,” Luke sighed. He sounded tired but very much awake. Percy rolled onto his side, foregoing a look at the stars to watch his brother instead.  “Are you looking forward to York?” he asked, quietly.  Luke shifted uneasily in his sleeping bag. “Yeah, I guess,” he admitted, and then, after a minute: “no, not really.”  “How come?” frowned Percy, shifting closer until they could whisper.  “I just . . . don’t really want to go,” Luke bit out. “It doesn’t feel like the right place for me.”  “You could join the army,” Percy suggested. Luke huffed. “Yeah, and I could also just shoot myself in the foot – they’re practically the same thing. Who’d want to go fight for some idiot in Parliament?”  Somewhere in Percy’s brain, an alarm bell started ringing. It was quiet but insistent, like white noise, and he sat up, trying to get rid of it.  “What is it?” Luke asked, his hand on Percy’s arm. His fingers were burningly warm.  All the unclaimed. Don’t let it . . . Don’t let it happen again. “Percy?” Luke was shaking him now, his hands on Percy’s shoulders. “Hey,” Percy said, pushing Luke’s hands away. “What’s that for?”  Luke gave him an odd look. “You zoned out there, completely,” he said, and lay back down. Percy looked at him for a second longer and curled back into his sleeping bag.  “’Night,” he said, his voice muffled.  Luke didn’t answer.  #  Monday morning came too fast for Percy. He dragged himself out of bed to find Luke had already left, his bed empty but still warm.  “He seemed in an awful mood this morning,” their mum said, frowning at the door as if Luke was just behind it. Percy spooned cereal into his mouth and chewed noisily.  “Bad dreams,” Percy shrugged. “Heard him talking in the night.” His mum nodded and went back to packing her suitcase on the kitchen table.  “I’ll be back on Sunday, darling,” she reminded him, kissing him on the cheek. “There’s pizza in the freezer and some leftovers in the fridge to heat up.”  “Have a good time with dad,” Percy called after her as she sprinted out of the house towards the honking taxi. He suddenly realised that he and Luke had the house to themselves for the whole week. It hadn’t occurred to him when his mum had mentioned she was going off to visit their father, who was working on an oil rig in the middle of the Pacific. “Things are looking up,” he muttered to himself, putting the milk back in the fridge and jogging up the stairs to get dressed.  # He didn’t see Luke at all that day in school, since Luke had lessons in the afternoon whereas Percy had the afternoon off. He got home in time for lunch and a Midsomer Murders rerun, praising free periods. He made a start on his homework and then lounged around on the couch, enjoying the freedom of an empty house.  At around six Luke stumbled home, covered in mud from football practice. He kicked off his shoes in the kitchen and drank half a pint of milk noisily behind the sofa, watching an episode of the Simpsons that Percy had turned to.  “Good practice?” smirked Percy, looking at the cuts on Luke’s arm.  “Some wanker kicked me with his boot,” Luke muttered. “And they forgot the fucking medical kit.” “Shit,” Percy frowned. “I’ll get the Savlon.”  When he returned from the bathroom with the first aid kit, Luke was lying back on the sofa, holding a damp cloth over the cut. What had seemed like a shallow scrape at first was actually quite a deep gash, Percy realised, and he pressed the cloth back onto the wound while he looked for the Savlon and some medical tape in the box.  Slowly, he wiped away the blood, applied a little disinfectant (Luke hissed and jerked a little, swearing loudly), and then used the medical tape to gently close the wound and wrap it up.  “And this is for being such a brave boy,” Percy smirked, producing a KitKat from his back pocket and handing it over. Luke pushed him backwards, laughing.  “Twat,” he said, affectionately, biting into the chocolate. Percy walked back the kitchen, the smile on his face vanishing as soon as he was alone.  His hands shook.  Too many of our friends lay wounded in the streets. Too many were missing.  “Percy? Do you want to watch Hollyoaks or can I switch over?” Luke shouted.  # They ate leftover chicken for supper that night, then settled down for a marathon session of Grand Theft Auto. At midnight, Percy called it a night and headed for bed, collapsing and falling asleep almost instantly. His dreams were blurry, unrecognisable, and when he woke up his head hurt. It was still dark, around three in the morning, so he went downstairs for a glass of water.  The cool water helped. He felt almost instantly better, gulping down the glass quickly and then rinsing it out to let it dry on the rack.  A noise behind him made him jump, and he turned to find Luke behind him, looking sleepy and confused. “Hey,” Percy said, quietly. “Thought it was a burglar,” Luke muttered, rubbing his eyes. He swayed, as if drunk, and Percy put his hands out to steady him. Luke swayed towards him, into an odd embrace, his mouth against Percy’s neck.  Previous experience while drunk and with one girlfriend had taught Percy that his neck was embarrassingly sensitive. For this reason he wasn’t entirely comfortable with hugs, but Luke seemed to have forgotten that. His lips pressed against the side of Percy’s neck, not quite a kiss but something like it, and Percy’s whole body shuddered. He tried to move back, but found himself trapped between Luke and the kitchen counter. “Luke?” he whispered, panicked, and Luke’s arms curled around Percy’s waist, one hand splaying on the small of his back.  Luke was around two inches taller than Percy, but it seemed like much more when he finally managed to right himself and stand up straight.  “Are you ok?” Percy asked, his voice catching in his throat. He felt as if he was humming with something, something in the air that was tangible, like hot sparks against his skin. Luke stared at him, tracing Percy’s face with his eyes, and then his gaze fell on his lips.  “Yeah,” he said, quietly, moving in closer, “I’m fine.”  Percy’s tongue darted out unconsciously to wet his lips, and then Luke kissed him.  It was comprised of everything that should have been very wrong: Luke was taller than him, Luke was male, Luke was his brother, and yet Percy’s hands weren’t pushing him away. He wasn’t hitting him, shouting what the fuck?, nothing. His hands, previously on Luke’s shoulders, now curled into the thin fabric of his t-shirt and then slipped under the neckline. Luke cupped Percy’s face, like he was trying to drink him in through a kiss. Percy couldn’t breathe, didn’t want to, and Luke sucked at his bottom lip until Percy could feel goose-flesh all down his arms.  Luke kissed down Percy’s jaw, down to his neck, sucking on his pulse, and Percy bit his lip to stop moaning. For fuck’s sake, he thought, he was hard – pound- nails hard in the middle of his kitchen at three in the morning on a Tuesday.  “Luke, Luke,” he whispered, twisting his hands in Luke’s t-shirt. “I’ve got school tomorrow,” he said.  There were a lot of other things he should have said.  “Ok,” Luke mumbled, and pulled him back up the stairs and into bed with him.  # Percy woke up again late, wrapped around Luke under the covers. It dawned on him immediately that he was late for school, so he hopped around the room, trying to get his clothes on, and then sprinted out of the house.  Of course, he thought, as he arrived at school, it would have to happen this way – he’d forgotten all his homework.  He sat in registration, dreading the next lesson, and trudged out of the classroom to meet his doom. “Forget something?” a voice asked, casually. Percy looked up, startled, and saw Luke leaning against the corridor wall. He was holding Percy’s homework in one hand.  That was odd, Percy thought. Luke didn’t have lessons on Tuesday mornings.  “Cat got your tongue?” asked Luke, grinning, handing over Percy’s work.  “No,” Percy mumbled. Luke grinned wider, ruffling Percy’s hair as he walked past him. Percy looked over his shoulder, watching Luke walk away. “Thanks,” he said, in Luke’s general direction, and then hurried to his first lesson.  #  In physics, which was his dullest lesson, Percy’s brain went into overdrive.  You nearly fucked your own brother.  Well spotted, he thought, dryly.  So, incest.  It could be worse, he admitted to himself. He could’ve been a murderer. Or a serial rapist. Still. Incest. #  That evening, over pizza, Percy couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore. “What is wrong with incest, anyway?” he blurted out. Luke stared at him. They’d existed in an odd, tense silence, both almost pretending nothing had happened. Luke had arrived home after Percy, looking vacant and tired, and had ordered their usual pizza almost instantly, without any word from Percy. Percy couldn’t decide if that was good or bad; usually Luke was so easy to read, but when he was trying to keep something to himself he could be more deceptive than an Oscar-winning actor.  “What?” Luke frowned. Percy blushed.  “I – uh – I was thinking of taking up philosophy. Y’know, read the Bible and stuff,” he shrugged.  “I guess it depends what religion you’re talking about,” Luke frowned, taking a swig of one of the beers their father thought he’d stashed away for secret midnight drinking sessions.  “We’re not religious, are we?” Percy asked, wolfing down a slice of pizza. Luke made face. “Unless you count the please God teach Percy table manners religion, of which I am a firm believer, no, we’re not religious,” he said, wiping his fingers on a napkin. Percy rolled his eyes.  “Ok,” he said, trying to fill the silence. Luke looked at him contemplatively.  “I had an odd dream last night,” he said, suddenly. Percy blushed again. “I died.”  “Cheerful,” Percy muttered, biting into another slice of pizza.  “Yeah,” Luke agreed, and got the ice-cream out of the freezer.  “Die Hard?” Percy offered, looking at the DVD collection. Luke nodded.  It was sort of a let-down, Percy thought to himself. He’d been having internal arguments all day, and all he got in exchange was Bruce Willis and ice-cream.  # Wednesday morning was wet and rainy. Percy considered skipping school, but dragged himself in anyway. He trudged through double Chemistry and a double free period in which he got no work done, and then forced himself to be in good spirits for rugby practice. At least the physical exercise would take his mind off Luke. Thoughts of his brother had buzzed around his head all through the day, spoiling his concentration.  Two tackles, a bloody nose and a slightly bruised ankle later, Percy decided hurting himself wasn’t going to solve the problem with Luke. He hobbled into the showers, scalded himself with hot water, and then sprinted home, still slick with water.  “You’re home early,” Luke noted, opening the fridge and handing Percy a bottle of Coke.  “Felt like running,” shrugged Percy. Water was still dripping down the nape of his neck. Luke gave him a look that was half contemplative, half amused, and sat down at the table.  “Spit it out,” he said, almost gently. “What?” frowned Percy, but there was a flush rising on his cheeks, spreading down onto his chest. “Whatever it is that’s had you so wound up for the last two days,” Luke prompted, and raised his eyebrows as if in encouragement.  They were both silent for a while, an awkward stalemate. Finally, Percy cracked.  “I – we – what we did on Monday night,” he began, but Luke cut him off.  “If you want to forget it, then forget it. I’m sure we’re not the only two guys in the world who’ve tried that sort of thing,” he shrugged, but he wouldn’t meet Percy’s eyes.  “Why won’t you look at me?” Percy asked, quietly.  “I had a dream last night,” Luke said, hollowly. “I dreamt I killed myself.”  Percy was silent. Luke looked up at him, finally, and his face was pale, as if he was sick with ‘flu all over again as he had been when Percy was twelve.  “I killed myself to save you,” he continued. Percy shut his eyes, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “I don’t understand this,” Luke suddenly shouted. “These dreams, everything I’ve been feeling – it’s like things just started going wrong after – after, y’know.”  Percy swallowed loudly. He knew exactly what Luke was referring to.  That Christmas, while they were walking on a cold beach covered in pebbles, Luke had slipped and fallen, cutting his knee wide open. There had been blood everywhere, all over the slippery stones, until they looked like entrails, sliding along the beach away from Percy’s fingers. He’d panicked, afraid for Luke’s life, and the water behind him had seemed to boil, moving towards them. His head had been swimming, his blood thumping in his every vein, and his vision swam as something tugged in his gut.  A wave had crashed over them, soaking them both to the skin, but when it had receded, Luke’s knee had healed. Percy wasn’t sure what happened after that – Luke told him he’d passed out – but when he woke up in the back seat of the car as Luke drove them back home (breaking the speed limit horrendously), he’d found a bloody pebble in his pocket.  “Percy,” Luke said, quietly, jerking Percy out of the memory with his touch.  “What’s wrong with us?” Percy whispered.  The beach hadn’t been the only time something odd had happened; there’d been the time Luke had almost been run over, but he’d appeared out of nowhere behind the car, as if it had gone straight through him; once Percy had knocked burning magnesium ribbon onto his hand and the nearby eye-wash basin in the chemistry lab had exploded, dousing him. They’d both had too many weird experiences for it to be ignored anymore.  “I don’t know,” Luke sighed. He rested his forehead against Percy’s, his back slightly bent. “I don’t know,” he repeated.  Percy kissed him, softly at first, just a gentle touch of lips, and then he licked at the crease of Luke’s mouth. Luke sighed again, like he was admitting defeat in some sort of argument, and pulled Percy closer. “I don’t know, I don’t care,” he breathed against Percy’s mouth. # An alarm went off somewhere and Luke threw a pillow in the direction of the noise. Amazingly, it stopped. He rolled over, closer to Percy, and wrapped his arms around him. “Bunk off school today,” he said. It wasn’t a request, Percy noticed.  “Fine, but if mum finds out, you’re taking the fall,” he murmured. There was light filtering in through their curtains. His own bed got less of the light, but somehow he didn’t really mind. It was quite nice, actually, but perhaps that had more to do with the fact that Luke was wrapped around his side, his face pressed against the curve of Percy’s neck. “You’ll have to teach me integration, though,” he remembered, and Luke snorted. “I’ll integrate you in a minute if you don’t shut up,” he said. Percy laughed quietly.  “Whatever,” he muttered. Luke kissed him, breathing slowly.  The rest of the day seemed to slow down, elongating. Luke slept for most of it, occasionally getting up to finish a maths practice paper or to help Percy with his biology homework, and they had Chinese takeaway for dinner. Percy lay awake in the deep night, watching Luke smoke out of their bedroom window. “Bad habit,” he mumbled, watching Luke try to blow a smoke ring.  “You’re a bad habit,” Luke retorted, grinning, “but that doesn’t mean I’ll quit.”  # Friday afternoon dragged on far too long. Percy was told off for tapping his pen against his desk seven times, and eventually sent out of the lesson. He sprinted out of school, home, the second the bell went. They only lived five minutes from the school, but every one of those felt like eons as he ran.  The cherry blossom trees were just beginning to bloom on the corner of their street. Percy turned the corner, hitting the wall with one hand as he ran. He could see his house – could see their front door open, and Luke standing outside it, sorting through junk mail.  “Luke,” he shouted, on impulse, and Luke looked up, a quizzical smile on his face. Percy stopped running, trying to get his breathing to slow down.  He stepped out into the road.  Luke’s lips moved. Percy thought he heard him whisper no, but something collided with his legs, and he couldn’t see Luke’s face anymore. His vision blurred – blacked, swirled with colours and faces and places he felt he’d seen before, and he shut his eyes.  When he registered touch again, it was someone’s hands on his face. Rough hands, the pads of fingers pressed hard against his cheeks.  “Percy, Percy,” a voice repeated. Percy reached out, found Luke’s elbow, and clung on tight. “Open your eyes.”  The light was blinding. Percy squinted, looking up at Luke’s face.  “Is he ok?” someone asked. “He just appeared out of nowhere – oh God, you’ll be a witness, right? Oh my God, oh my God – ” “He’s fine,” Luke smiled. “Here, look, he’s fine, just a little concussed. I’ll take him for a check-up, we’ll just give him some water.”  Luke had always been good at soothing people, Percy remembered, smiling a little. He allowed himself to be helped into their house, moving stiffly, and drank a glass of water. Luke shut the door quietly, coming to kneel between Percy’s legs on the wooden kitchen floor.  His hands cupped Percy’s face.  “Hello, Percy Jackson,” he whispered.  “Hello, Luke Castellan.”  # “Do you want a heat pack?” Luke asked, leaning around the door and frowning at Percy. “No, I’m fine,” Percy shrugged, flipping the pages of a New Scientist and throwing the copy idly on the floor. He held out a hand for Luke, who swayed in the doorway for a second, uncertain, and then sighed, coming over to Percy.  “Are you stiff?” he asked. “A little,” admitted Percy, and tugged Luke down onto the bed with him. They kissed, a slow, relieved press of lips. Percy could feel Luke’s eyelashes flutter against his. He threaded his fingers through Luke’s hair, pulling him closer, onto his lap.  “Hey, hey,” chastised Luke, “you’re injured, let me do this.” He sat back on the bed, pulling Percy gently on top of him, and helped take off Percy’s shirt. “You’ve got bruises,” he noted. Percy kissed him again, biting at his lower lip. “I don’t care,” he muttered, and Luke smirked, amused.  “Eager, aren’t you?” he whispered, pulling his own t-shirt off and laying Percy down against the pillows.  “Always,” Percy smirked. Luke rolled his eyes, pulling Percy’s torn jeans off.  “You’re lucky he didn’t break your legs,” Luke said, quietly, running his fingertips along each line of tiny cuts on Percy’s upper thighs. He traced the muscles in his calves, the tight bunched muscles in his thighs, and Percy couldn’t help whimpering. Luke’s touch was maddening, too light to do anything more than make him slightly hard. Percy reached down to push his boxers off, but Luke batted his hands away, leaning down and tonguing at the material over his cock.  Percy moaned loudly. “Holy fuck,” he whispered, as Luke did it again. Only then did he pull Percy’s boxers down, leaning down again to tongue gently at his rapidly hardening cock.  “You like that, huh,” Luke hummed, and the reverberations seemed to amplify through Percy’s whole body.  “Fuck,” hissed Percy, as Luke licked at his balls, spreading his thighs gently and pressing one finger gently at his entrance. He pulled away for a second, wiping at his mouth, and reached under his bed, pulling out lube. “Where did you get - ?” Percy began. “Boy scouts,” winked Luke. “Always be prepared.” He opened the cap of the tube and covered his fingers in the lube, coating them until they shone, sticky and dripping. Percy felt himself get harder, and then had to push sweat-damp hair away from his forehead as Luke pressed his finger into him again.  “Ow,” he muttered, and Luke kissed his hipbone.  “Sorry,” he said, quietly, and moved his mouth over the head of Percy’s cock. “You’re forgiven,” gasped Percy, as Luke did something exquisite with his mouth. Percy had a mument to think Holy fuck, how did he get so good at this?  (and the idea of that alone blew his mind a little bit), and then Luke had a whole finger inside him, reaching gently for something. Percy pressed his face against the pillow, embarrassing whimpering sounds emerging from his mouth.  “I want to hear you,” Luke said, adding another finger. What had been a slight burning pain was now tense coiled pleasure, Percy discovered, so he let the pillow fall away, panting at the ceiling.  “If I wake the neighbours it’s your fault,” he gasped, as Luke crooked his fingers. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” conceded Luke, and removed his fingers.  “What - ?” Percy started to say something, but the sight of Luke, kneeling between his thighs, putting on a condom, silenced his every thought.  It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Luke kissed his shoulder, his neck, working him with one hand on his cock until Percy could feel his body become pliant with pleasure, and then he thrust in gently. It burnt a little, as if it was a really awful papercut, and Luke stilled for a minute, just holding him.  “You can move,” Percy gritted out, feeling oddly self-conscious. Luke traced his cheekbone with one finger, their faces close enough to kiss, and then pulled out slowly. He slammed back in, almost painfully, his hand still on Percy’s cock, and then kissed his neck.  “Ok?” he asked, his voice rough, catching around the edges.  “Yeah, definitely ok,” breathed Percy. He felt his hips rise up to meet Luke’s thrusts, his hands clawing in the sheets that they’d have to wash before their mum got home, and then Luke hit something that was at once painful and blissful. Percy almost called out in pleasure, his back arching, and Luke pulled him upwards, resting back on his thighs so Percy was on his lap, riding him.  He could almost see why sex and violence were so closely linked, Percy decided. The way they moved, the give and take – in another context it might have been war. It had been, once. He let himself slide down Luke’s body, feeling every inch of his cock. Their chests were pressed together, sweat-slick skin on skin, and then Luke gasped.  “I’m close,” he whispered, and Percy rocked against him again. Luke made a sound like a sob of pleasure against Percy’s shoulder, his whole body taut, and Percy reached down, wrapping a hand over where Luke was still trying to jerk him off.  “C’mon,” he whispered. “C’mon, come for me.”  Luke’s free hand clutched at Percy’s hip, his breath coming in uneven gasps, as if he’d been shot. Percy rocked his hips again, pulling off and wincing slightly as he did so. Luke tried to right his breathing, pushing Percy back onto the bed without any of his former tenderness, and moved between his legs, licking at Percy’s cock, the crease of skin between his ass cheeks, and tonguing at his hole. Percy came almost instantly, his release covering his chest.  He resurfaced from bliss a few minutes later to find Luke cleaning them up with one of the sheets. “You’re doing the washing,” he muttered. Luke threw the sheet at him.  # May passed. June exams bled into July holidays, and London was full of a sticky, contented heat.  In Cornwall, Luke stopped the car by a tiny secluded beach, poked Percy in the arm to wake him up, and headed down to the water. Percy sighed, waking up properly as soon as he touched the waves. He knew from his vivid dreams and occasional flashbacks that he’d once been able to control water in any way he pleased, but now it seemed that things like that only happened in freak situations.  Luke caught up with him, and they waded through the surf together, standing thigh-deep in the cold water, looking out to sea.  “What’ll we do about the memories?” Percy asked. The ocean helped him think clearer, but it always helped dredge up the uncomfortable questions in the back of his head.  “Write a book, see a therapist, I don’t know,” shrugged Luke. “We don’t have to do anything about them. They’re just a part of us.” Percy nodded.  “I don’t think they really matter, anyway. I know who you are, and I know who I am, and I don’t need much more.”  They were silent for a minute.  “What shall we do now?” Luke asked, quietly.  Percy thought about York. He thought about application forms and the late-night parties Luke would attend and the empty room he’d have at home, and then about the holidays they’d still have together. About the marine biology course he’d read about at York.  He traced shapes on Luke’s chest. An omega, an alpha. An end and a beginning, the letters now as familiar to him as English.  “Hunt our lives down,” he said.  Luke kissed him.  End Notes title from loving you by paolo nutini and the "hunt our lives down" is an adapted quote from fighting ruben wolfe by markus zusak. man, i used to read books. what happened to those days. i don't think there's actually a marine biology course at the university of york. please don't call them and tell them you read about it in a fanfic where brothers made out. or do, i guess that's your choice. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!