Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8741902.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Durarara!!
  Relationship:
      Kishitani_Emilia/Kishitani_Shingen
  Character:
      Kishitani_Emilia, Kishitani_Shingen, Karisawa_Erika, Yumasaki_Walker,
      Tsutsugawa_Azusa, Kujiragi_Kasane
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Teacher-Student_Relationship, oh_god
      here_comes_the_sin, Tags_to_be_added, no_smut_until_later_chapters,
      probably_a_slow_burn, IM_REALLY_SORRY_FOR_THIS, i_promised_myself_i
      wouldnt_do_this_but_here_i_am, doing_this, Masturbation, Vaginal
      Fingering, Loss_of_Virginity
  Series:
      Part 36 of Medical_Malpractice_OTP
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-12-04 Updated: 2018-03-29 Chapters: 14/20 Words: 17933
****** anatomy ******
by WattStalf
Summary
     In true student-teacher fic fashion, Emilia is the new student; she's
     brilliant but she struggles to bond with her classmates because of
     this. Shingen is her anatomy teacher, an eccentric man that the
     students aren't quite sure about; naturally, Emilia is drawn to him
     from the beginning.
     There will probably be a better summary later, but yeah, just working
     with their canon age gap and having them meet at a school rather than
     a job
Notes
     First of all, I'm sorry. I tried to not write this, but then I did.
     So yeah. I'm sorry.
     Second of all, I gave Emilia a last name cos obviously they aren't
     married yet.
     Third of all, I wondered for a while where I would set this. Would it
     be an American high school, with Shingen as their foreign teacher,
     but leaving Emilia with no friends? Would it be a Japanese high
     school and Emilia be a foreign transfer studen, but risk me fucking
     up cultural things? Or would it be a weird high school in the nth
     dimension, where it follows the rules of American high school, but
     pretty much everyone except Emilia is Japanese? I went with the last
     one, because...
     Fourth of all, Erika and Walker are in this because I can't resist
     making Emilia and Erika friends at every opportunity. Not sure yet if
     I'm gonna ship them or not, but they're here.
***** Chapter 1 *****
The first day of school is hard for most people, and it is particularly hard
for new students. For a student that is both new and starting their senior
year...well, it's understandable that that student might dread the first day
most of all. Emilia Adams is one such student, and, having just moved to a new
city, she's never met anyone attending her new high school.
She can't say that she's excited for having to start over somewhere new, but
she also isn't really leaving all that much behind. For a while now, she's had
a hard time making friends and finding a place where she fits in, and she only
had a few people she would consider friends at her old school, and they were
not particularly close. She doesn't think she's going to miss them all that
much, but it's going to be hard starting over, and during the last year, on top
of that.
Everyone has their place already, and it'll be even harder for her than usual
to try to fit into one now, but she tries to tell herself that she doesn't
care. It's only one year, and she can bear being a little lonely for that long,
especially considering she's got a lot to do to get ready for college. Of
course, she already has her top choices lined up and has been working on
applications, but she has to make sure her transcript from her old school
transferred to this one properly, and she has to make sure her college
counselor knows exactly what her plans are.
She has a lot of things to keep her busy, so she decides to not let anything
else distract her, not even her own loneliness. It's her last year in high
school, and Emilia hopes that, once she's graduated, it's all uphill from
there.
~X~
On the first day, though she's decided not to care if she makes friends or not,
she can't help but hope that she also doesn't make enemies. She hopes that she
isn't bullied here; at her old school, she had been bullied a bit her freshman
year, though most people grew out of it midway through sophomore year.
Hopefully, everyone has already grown out of it here as well, and she has
nothing to worry about on that front.
She's looked over her subjects for the year, and everything seems easy enough.
They don't have as many higher level classes as her old school, but she has a
lot on her application already, so she isn't too worried about that. She's
worked hard enough that she thinks she's earned being able to take it easy her
senior year.
In her first class, she's asked to introduce herself, and she tells them her
name and what she's planning to do in college, all the why trying to keep her
legs from shaking. Fortunately, she makes it all the way back to her desk
without incident, and the class goes on, and she moves onto the next one, where
she isn't made to introduce herself. All the students are given a questionnaire
to fill out, to help the teacher get to know them, but class ends a little
early and they're allowed to talk amongst themselves.
Emilia doesn't know anybody, and nobody makes a move to talk to her, so she
ends up pulling a book out of her backpack and reading for the rest of class.
As always, she's not able to introduce herself to anyone, and by the time class
ends, she hasn't spoken with anybody, and she moves on to her third class of
the day.
She expects this class to go just the same as the first two, but when she sits
down in her seat, another girl sits down next to her and, after a moment, turns
to her to speak. “Hey, I've never seen you before. Are you new?”
“I am,” she replies, offering the girl a smile. “My name is Emilia!”
“I'm Erika Karisawa, nice to meet ya!” the girl says with a wide grin. “Did you
just move here or something?”
“I moved here a few weeks ago.”
“Oh, wow, that must be hard, coming in during your last year. I've been in the
same school district my whole life,” says Erika. “Well, anyway, if you need
anyone to hang out with, don't hesitate to follow me around!”
Emilia feels her heart swelling in delight; she never expected to have someone
approach her on the very first day like this. “Thank you so much.”
“Don't mention it. I'm sure it can't be easy, transferring this late in high
school, and there's always room for new friends at my lunch table.” Erika beams
with so much sincerity that Emilia really wonders how she got so lucky as to
meet someone like her this early on. “So, I'll wait for you outside the
cafeteria after fourth hour, okay?”
~X~
Fourth hour passes much like first and second, but Emilia isn't quite as
discouraged, knowing that she has Erika to meet up with. When the class is
over, she gathers her things up quickly to hurry there, and Erika is waiting
for her, just as she promised. With her is a young man, and when she starts
waving Emilia over, he joins in, even though they've never met before.
“Emilia, this is Walker Yumasaki. Yumachi, this is Emilia...Adams, right?” When
she nods, Erika also nods. “Awesome! Alright, let's get in there!”
The three of them settle at a table and begin eating, and once a conversation
begins, it becomes very clear to Emilia what draws these two together. Their
both  incredibly  enthusiastic about anime and manga and something they call
light novels, and have a tendency to get distracted by their own topics and go
off on tangents before remembering that their supposed to be getting to know
each other better. Still, Emilia thinks it's funny and just ends up smiling and
laughing whenever they get like this.
“So, what about you, Emichi? Is it okay if I call you that?”
“Of course! And, let's see...I really like science, particularly biology, human
anatomy...but I'm also interested in reading pretty much anything, so if the
two of you have any recommendations, I'll be sure to check it out!”
“You have no idea what you've just gotten yourself into,” Erika says shaking
her head.
“Yeah, I could go on for hours about the sort of things you simply have to give
a chance before you die!” adds Walker.
“But I think that should be saved for a day when we know each other better,”
finishes the girl. “Now, you say you like anatomy. Are you in the anatomy
class?”
“I am, seventh hour,” she replies. “I saw it was a possible elective, and I was
really happy!”
“We took it our junior year,” says Erika. “It's pretty cool.”
“I took it last year at my old school,” Emilia confesses, “but I was really
glad when they said I could take it again here.”
“Aw, man, you're so lucky they let you. If I could take it again here, I
would,” says Walker. “Dr. Kishitani is the coolest, you know?”
“He's pretty weird,” Erika says. “Yumachi loves him, but a lot of people are a
little put off by him.”
“Huh? Weird? What do you mean by that?” She cocks her head.
“Nah, I'm not gonna spoil the surprise,” replies Erika.
“Yeah, you'll just have to see for yourself,” he agrees.
“Either way, he's not bad weird. He's a good teacher, so as long as you work
hard, he'll probably love you.”
~X~
In the afternoon, Emilia ends up having her sixth class with both Erika  and
Walker, and considers herself very lucky indeed. They both wish her luck on her
way to her seventh, and she wonders if she should be nervous. They've both
assured her that there's nothing to worry about with Dr. Kishitani, and Walker
seems to really like him, but she still has no idea what they mean when they
say he's weird or that they don't want to spoil the surprise.
She's trying to run through possibilities in her end when she enters the
classroom...and sees a man, writing on the board, wearing a white gas mask and
a long lab coat.
He turns when he hears her enter the room and says, “I don't have a seating
chart, so you can sit wherever you like.”
Emilia feels her pulse quicken and her face flush, though she isn't sure why.
Perhaps a case of second hand embarrassment for his odd sense of fashion? But,
at the same time, she has to admit that it's peculiar in a very interesting
way, and she might even think it cool, if she saw it on a fictional character
or read about when researching historic scientists. On a high school teacher,
it's a bit much, but also admirable that he doesn't seem to care enough what
anyone thinks to stop himself.
Thinking about that reminds her of how strange it is for someone with a high
enough degree to be called a doctor to be teaching school, but she doesn't
think it's polite to ask a teacher this within the first few minutes of meeting
him, so she nods and picks a seat instead. She chooses the one in the front and
center, both because she's so studious that she always tries to sit close to
the board, if possible, and because of her personal interest in her teacher.
More students filter in and the bells rings, and then Dr. Kishitani addresses
the class. “Well, I'm sure most of you have heard of me by now, or at  least
seen me roaming around school. I'm also sure a lot of you are taking the class
out of a curiosity about that rather than human anatomy, but remember that
that's the purpose of this class, and if your grades suffer, you have only
yourself to blame.
“My name is Shingen Kishitani- Dr. Kishitani to students- and I have a degree
in medicine, hence the doctor bit, and my masters in biology. I'm currently
going for a PhD, and I decided to take it easy and work as a high school
teacher in the mean time. Before any of you ask, I wear a gas mask to protect
myself and my lungs from city air, which is absolutely disgusting.” He finishes
his little speech with a nod, before moving on. “Now, as for the rest of you,
I'm going to get to know your names eventually, but if it's not too much
trouble, try to stay in around the same seat for a few weeks until I've got it.
I've got a little questionnaire for you to fill out, and while you're working,
I'd like to go around the room and everyone say their names.”
Emilia starts filling it out, and though it begins with similar questions to
the ones she saw before (“What's your name?”, “What year are you?”, “What are
you planning to study in college?”, “What's your favorite book/TV show/movie/
etc.?”), there are a few that are a bit more unusual.
If you were selling organs on the black market, what organ do you think would
be the most popular?
What is your favorite mythical creature? Do you have reason to believe it
exists? If so, please explain.
All in all, there is nothing ordinary about this teacher, and by the time the
bell rings, it feels like no time has passed at all, she's been so captivated
by him. Even as she walks home, she finds that her thoughts still rest on her
eccentric teacher, and she's more intrigued than she understands.
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Here's more of the AU no one asked for lmao
“Hey, Emilia!” a voice calls out to her. She turns to see Erika running up
behind her while she walks home. “Hey, wait up!”
She stops, and when Erika catches up to her, she says, “Were you trying to run
off before I could ask you what you thought?”
“Huh? What I thought about what?” Despite her thoughts resting solely on her
new teacher, she forgets that Erika had previously warned her about him.
“Dr. Kishitani, of course!” she replies. “What did you think about him?”
“Oh! Oh, I thought he was really nice,” says Emilia. “He's actually kind of
cool.”
“Cool?” With that, Erika groans. “Oh, no, not another one! Between you and
Yumachi, I swear...” She shakes her head, laughing. “No, but seriously, he's a
nice guy, if you do your work on time and don't go out of your way to piss him
off. I mean, at least, as a teacher. A lot of people are super creeped out by
him, but, then, you've got people like Yumachi, who idolize him.”
“I don't see why anyone wouldn't like him,” says Emilia, without really
thinking. She doesn't know why, but she feels herself starting to blush after
she says it, as if she just said something she shouldn't have. However, Erika
doesn't react to that, and instead asks her more questions about her day.
While she makes conversation, her thoughts still linger on Dr. Kishitani, and
she wonders why she can't take her mind off her teacher. She doesn't know why
she feels so embarrassed to think about him so much either, or why she's
already so excited for her seventh class the next day. But she is, and after
she and Erika go her separate ways, she spends the rest of the evening trying
to distract herself.
~X~
The next morning, she wakes up in an incredibly good mood, and it takes her a
moment to realize that it is because she's excited about going to school for
once. Or, more accurately, she's excited to actually start classes, and excited
to actually start her anatomy class. She's curious about Dr. Kishitani's
teaching style, and she's curious about how the other students react to it.
Of course, she has her other classes to get through first, and she finds that
most of them are similar to things that she's had before. It's certainly going
to be an easy year for her, and she finds herself raising her hand a lot to
answer questions or ask about something relating to the topic that she's
remembered. Her teachers are pleasantly surprised, and warm up to her quickly.
The same cannot be said for her classmates, and already, they see her as her
former classmates did; as a showoff or a kiss-ass, someone that they have no
interest in befriending any time soon. There is a sort of stigma that comes
with being the one who sits in the front and laughs at the teacher's jokes and
always has something to say and always knows the answers.
By the time her final class of the day has rolled around, Emilia can tell that
she's starting to earn that stigma for herself again, but as soon as she steps
into Dr. Kishitani's classrooms, she finds her worries fading to the back of
her mind. She makes her way to her seat, the same as the day before, and waits
for the bell to ring and for the strange, intriguing man to start to teach.
“We're going to start our unit with basic definitions and terms in anatomy,” he
says, after he's taken attendance. “I'm going to assume that most of you
remember the basics from biology your sophomore year, and if you don't...well,
that's your fault!” He chuckles before moving on, and Emilia finds herself
covering her hand with her mouth to hide that she's laughing with him.
Sometimes, he asks the class if they know what something means before he tells
them, and always, she raises her hand to answer, even though he was not looking
for any of them to actually answer. He seems very surprised that she knows most
of what he is teaching before he is teaching it, but really, this is just
because she's had the class before. Still, the tone in his voice when he tells
her that she's correct gives her a sense of pride she hasn't felt before, and
she can't stop smiling throughout class.
Before she leaves for the day, Dr. Kishitani calls out to her, asking her to
stay behind for just a moment, and a few classmates laugh to themselves over
it. She does her best to ignore it, remaining in her desk as he comes over to
speak to her.
“You knew almost all the answers in class today,” he says. “That was very
impressive. Most students don't come into this class with prerequisites.” At
that, he chuckles much like he did in class, and she laughs with him more
openly this time. “Have you been studying independently?”
“To be perfectly honest, I took anatomy last year, at my old school,” she
admits. “I asked if I could take it again here, and I was allowed to. It's all
very fresh in my memory, that's all.”
“Ah, that's right, you're new to this school. I hope you're adjusting well,” he
says. “But, in any case, I think this a little bit more than having it fresh in
your memory. You took the class last year, which means it's been an entire year
since you learned the basics. Most students have a hard time remembering stuff
just over the course of the summer, so I still have to say I'm impressed with
you.”
She feels her face flushing, and suddenly has a very hard time looking directly
at him, though it's already impossible to make eye contact. Whatever the case,
she looks down at her desk and quietly says, “Thank you.”
“I look forward to see your work in my class this year,” says Dr. Kishitani. “I
hope you continue to settle in at the school well, and I hope you have a good
senior yeah. That is, it is your senior year, right? I'm sure that's what I
read on your questionnaire.”
“Yes, it is,” she replies.
“Oh, by the way, speaking of that questionnaire...I rather liked your paragraph
on mythical creatures, and how you worded your refusal to not believe in
anything until there's concrete proof that it doesn't exist. Someday, I hope
the two of us can have a longer discussion about life's mysteries, but for now,
I doubt you want me to keep you after school for too long. I'm sure you have
lots of important things you'd like to be doing right now!”
Though she wants to say no, and tell him that she'd much rather keep talking to
him, she has a feeling that that probably isn't something she should be so
eager to tell him. In fact, she has a feeling that she simply shouldn't be that
eager to want to spend time with a teacher, and she really doesn't even
understand why she's thinking along those lines, so she keeps her mouth shut
about that. Nodding, she stands up and puts on her backpack, and wishes him a
good afternoon before heading out the door.
As soon as she's far enough away that he can't see her, a grin breaks out
across her face, and her steps feel a bit lighter.
 
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     honestly no idea where i am going with this
     but, if you look to your left, you'll see another AU when Erika ropes
     Emilia into joining a cosplay group
     oh look and i even pulled in kasane again
     old habits die hard
School had started on a Wednesday, so the third day of school is Friday. Emilia
is still in a good mood from the day before, though she doesn't know why such a
brief encounter has had such an effect on her. She knows that being praised by
teachers- particularly favorites, and she supposes that it's rather obvious
that Dr. Kishitani is already her favorite- has always made her happy, but
somehow, this feels different.
When she makes it to her third class and greets Erika, the other girl is
grinning from ear to ear and says, “Emichi, I've got a really important
question for you! Do you have any plans for after school?”
It's the weekend, and even if it wasn't, it's only the first week of school, so
she doesn't have enough of a work load to really concern herself with it. And
then there's the fact that, so far, Erika and Walker are still the only friends
she's made at school. She won't allow herself to get down about that,
considering she's lucky that she made two friends so quickly, but it's hard not
to notice the fact that she is starting to get her old reputation back.
“I'm not doing anything,” she replies. “Why?”
“Well, I'm in this club, we meet on Fridays. I was wondering if you were
interested in cosplay at all!”
“Um...hm, let's see,” says Emilia, pausing to think about the word. “That's the
thing where you dress up as characters, right?”
“That's one way to do it, yeah. Really, it involves all kinds of costumes. It's
a lot of fun, and you don't even have to know a lot of characters to get
started in it,” she replies. “I mean, if you're not into it, that's fine, but I
think you have a really great look for it! If you want to come to the first
meeting with me after school and check it out, then that'd be fun!”
Emilia has never really considered anything like that before, but if the others
in the club are anything like Erika, then she's sure that she'll enjoy it, just
for that alone. At the very least, she thinks it's worth a try, so she says,
“That does sound like fun! Where do you guys meet at?”
“I'll meet you after your last class and show you the classroom we meet in, cos
I don't think you've ever been there before. Ah, man, I'm so excited now!”
~X~
Emilia is so early to her anatomy class that she is the first one in the room,
and she sits at her desk and watches Dr. Kishitani write on the board, getting
ready for their lesson for the day. She, for whatever reason, looks forward to
him collecting their homework, and looks forward to getting hers back on
Monday, Despite already knowing all of the answers, she double and triple
checked her homework, just to make sure she didn't make any silly mistakes.
She wants him to be impressed with her again; she doesn't want to let him down
when she's already got his attention.
The rest of the class filters in and he collects their homework, scolding those
who forgot to do theirs almost mercilessly, though everything he says comes out
sounding like a light teasing. She knows it's impolite to laugh at her
classmates in that sort of situation, but it is very hard to hold her laughter
back all the same, simply because she thinks Dr. Kishitani is so funny. Class
passes by too quickly, and he calls on her more eagerly than the day before,
and by the time it's over, she's found herself wishing that it would never end.
But it does come to an end, and, even though she has somewhere to be, she hopes
that Dr. Kishitani will stop her to talk to her again. He doesn't, and she sees
Erika hanging around in the hallway, so she packs up her things and she leaves,
saying a soft goodbye to the man she's come to admire so much in the past few
days.
“Goodbye, Emilia,” he replies. “Have a nice weekend!”
Hearing him call her by name fills her with an excitement that directly clashes
with the disappointment that wells up upon remembering that it is the weekend,
and that she won't have this class again until Monday. She shakes her head,
unsure of what's come over her, and goes to meet Erika.
“Alright, so the club meets in a classroom near the auditorium,” she says.
“See, cos that way we have access to the storage room for the theatre costumes,
and we can use the backstage dressing rooms when there isn't anyone rehearsing
for a show. Sometimes we even share costumes with the drama kids.”
Emilia follows behind her and listens as she continues to tell her about the
club, talking about the different members. “There are only a few of us, and
none of them have the same lunch hour as me and Walker, which really sucks. I
guess, out of all of them, I'm closest to Azusa. Oh, and our teacher adviser!
Well, she isn't a teacher, she's one of the school's secretaries, but still!
Miss Kujiragi. She's so hot! Like, it should be criminal for someone like that
to be so close to me when it's a forbidden love!”
She's taken aback by that, as it's the first time they've really talked about
anything romantic. Actually, when she thinks about it, it might be the first
time she's had a friend tell her something like that, and what's even more
strange to her is the fact that Erika is openly confessing to having a crush on
the school secretary. She supposes she's heard of people being attracted to
teachers and faculty members, at least in works of fiction, but to have her new
friend come out and say it like it's nothing confuses her a little bit.
But if it's nothing to Erika, then that must mean it really isn't that big of a
deal at all, and Emilia decides to brush it off. Or, at least, she tries to,
but something about it sticks with her and makes her feel odd, and she doesn't
know what she's supposed to make of all that.
They make it to the club room, though, and Erika sets to introducing her to
everyone, including the secretary that she's infatuated with. Emilia has to
admit that the woman is beautiful and looks young to be working in a school, so
she really can't blame her friend for the crush. However, as the meeting
continues, and Emilia is introduced in more detail to the one Erika mentioned
before, Azusa, she keeps thinking about it, and keeps thinking about her own
lack of experience in that department.
She's had crushes before, but, for the most part, they were when she was much
younger, and most of them didn't really count. Usually, she would fall for
strange cartoon characters, and on the rare occasion she did fall for someone
that actually existed, it would be someone entirely unattainable, such as the
crossing guard or the man who sold her her a Halloween costume one year.
She doesn't think she's had a crush since early junior high, and she's never
had a crush on anyone she could actually pursue, even in the innocent,
childlike way of asking a boy on the playground to be her boyfriend. Really,
she isn't even sure if she knows how it's supposed to feel, having a crush on
someone, and she doesn't know what her type would be now, or if she ever even
had one.
The meeting consists mostly of them talking about their plans for the year, and
when it's over, Erika apologizes for there not being much action. “If you come
back next week, we can get you dressed up in something, I promise!”
“Are you sure that isn't just your way of tricking her into joining?” teases
Azusa.
“What? No way, my intentions are totally pure!” she protests, and Emilia
laughs.
“I'll come back next week,” she promises. “It sounds like a lot of fun.”
But when she goes home that night, her thoughts are not on the club itself, but
still on the question of what it means to have a crush, and how Erika must
feel, liking someone so out of her reach, and still, Emilia can't make sense of
her own feelings or why she's dwelling on this so much. Finally, she decides to
distract herself by getting her anatomy homework done, even though she has
until Sunday night to do it.
 
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     don't ask me what i'm doing wth this story cos i don't know
The weekend passes so slowly for Emilia that it verges on torture, something
she isn't used to experiencing. Even though she's always been fond of her
classes, she hasn't ever longed for the weekend to end like this before. It
drags on and on, and when she wakes up on Monday, she feels an overwhelming
sense of relief, even though she knows it's just school.
When she arrives that morning, it isn't long before she's flagged down by Erika
and Walker, who drag her off to one of their lockers and begin pulling out
books and piling them in her arms, explaining what order to read series in and
which series she should read first, and which ones she should save for later,
until her arms are full and Erika has to help her carry the rest to her own
locker.
“I know it's a lot all at once, but we were talking this weekend and we really
couldn't decide what to recommend to you first!” says Erika. “Don't worry about
finishing them at a certain rate, just take your time with them.”
“All we ask is that you're careful! Guard those books with your life and,
whatever you do, don't bend the spine. We've got bits from each of our
collections in there, and we like them to look good on the shelves,” adds
Walker.
“If you're not careful, I might have to punish you,” murmurs Erika, slowly
embracing Emilia from behind. Resting her lips close to the girl's ear, she
says, “I might have to pull off your fingernails one...by...one...”
Just as suddenly as she does this, she pulls back, her voice brightening as she
says, “I'm just kidding! If I were going to punish you, it'd be way sexier than
that! It probably wouldn't even count as punishment.”
Emilia just turns and gives her a confused smile as she says, “Thank you both
for lending these to me.” She appreciates both of her new friends, even if she
doesn't always understand what they're on about.
~X~
At this point, she isn't even really surprised by how much she wants her last
class to come, and not because she's eager to go home. She isn't surprised by
how much she wants to be in her anatomy class, and how much she wants to see
Dr. Kishitani, even if she still doesn't understand where these feelings come
from.
She gets to his class early again, and when he says hello to her, she quietly
murmurs a response before sitting at her desk and pulling out one of the books
that Erika and Walker lent to her. Being alone in the room with him feels so
strange to her, and even though she desperately wants him to start a
conversation, she's too nervous to say anything for herself and isn't really
sure what to do about that. In the end, she keeps quietly reading while other
students filter in, and she doesn't look up from her book until one of the
girls speaks directly to her.
“You're friends with those guys, right? Erika and that uh...that weird guy?”
she asks.
“Yeah,” replies Emilia, confused. She knows that this confrontation can't be
going anywhere good, at least not for her.
“Well, I was just asking cos I thought I saw her hanging off of you this
morning. What's the deal with them?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know,” one of her friends cuts in. “Are they a thing, or what? They're
always together, so it seems like they should be, but I don't know.”
“A thing?”
“Dating. They're always together, right? But Erika's kinda weird, you know?”
the first girl says. “Well, I mean, like the way I saw her hanging onto you
earlier. She gets like that with, you know, a couple of the girls from that
club she's in. The dress up one.”
“I don't know if they're dating or not...” Emilia says, realizing that it's
true, she isn't sure about their relationship. As far as she knows, they're
just friends, but what if there's something there that she never noticed
before, because she's so clueless about such matters?
“We were just wondering. Unless, maybe, she's got something weird going on, you
know?”
“Like she's with him and trying to get with some of those girls!”
“Yeah, it could be like that. Better watch out, Emilia. She's probably after
you, too!”
Emilia is left completely unsure of how to respond to something like that, and
though she knows that the things they're saying about Erika now are more than
likely not true, she's still far too uncomfortable to think of anything to say.
She just sits there, staring at her desk and trying to think of a polite way to
tell them to leave her alone, when Dr. Kishitani clears his throat.
“Ladies, if you aren't in your seats when the bell rings, I might have to mark
you late,” he says, but it's clear from his tone that he's warning them against
more than that. Scowling at Emilia, as if it's her fault, they return to their
desks, leaving her alone. She looks up to give him a grateful smile, but he's
already moved back to his desk and begun picking up a stack of papers.
“I've got your homework from Friday ready to return,” he says, just as the bell
rings, and he goes around the room, passing back the papers. “Not too bad for
any of you, but the early stuff is always easy! If you get too confident now,
you might end up failing yourself later. Also, for those of you who don't take
my bonus questions seriously, I hope you'll start doing so in the future,
because a few extra points can be a saving grace when you're on the border of a
letter grade.”
When Emilia gets her paper back, she's pleased to see that she got above a
perfect score, because he counted her bonus points even though she already got
every answer correct. During class, he sometimes drops seemingly useless
trivia, usually regarding various mythical creatures, but she's taken notes on
that just as she has everything else he's taught, and it came in handy while
doing her homework. This is yet another thing about her teacher that she finds
incredibly interesting.
There is a note to her on the page, saying, “ Exellent work, Emilia! Keep it
up! ” It is simple, and barely personal, but she gets excited when she sees it
all the same, feeling herself growing warm all over while her heart beats so
hard she can hear it. Already, she had been feeling strange flustered, after he
stepped in to stop those girls from interrogating her, but now...now she is so
flustered that she can't even bring herself to look up from her desk, staring
at the words of encouragement he wrote for her.
Why is this happening to me?  she thinks, and it isn't until he begins teaching
that she's able to snap out of it and pull out her notebook, and only then is
she finally able to look at him again.
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
While Emilia's thoughts are mostly still occupied by her strange encounters
with and feelings for Dr. Kishitani, she spends the rest of the evening also
wondering about what was said about Erika and Walker. She is curious, now that
it's been brought to her attention that she really doesn't know the truth about
their relationship. They've been so nice to her over the past week, and she's
been so happy about that that she hasn't even thought about the possibility of
there being more to their relationship.
Though she doesn't pay much mind to anything else those girls said to her, that
question remains on her mind, and she decides that she's going to have to ask
them about it. It's a little embarrassing to come out and say, but the two of
them don't seem to have much shame regarding most things, so she doesn't think
that they'll mind answering her.
“I figured you were going to ask that eventually,” says Erika. “Yeah, a lot of
people think me and Yumachi are going out.”
“Me and Erika are just friends right now,” he adds with a shrug. “I'm not
emotionally prepared to look for love in the 3D world yet, you know?” He says
that without a hint of embarrassment.
“If I had to say the kind of relationship we had,” she goes on, “I'd have to
say we're the type of friends who might make a marriage pact, you know? Like,
if we're both still single by a certain point, then we'll get married. But, you
know, if there's anyone at this table I would really want to make a marriage
pact with, it's you, Emichi!”
Erika flirts so casually, as always, that it almost passes over Emilia's head
completely, and before she has a chance to react to it, Walker's already gone
on to say, “Yeah, right. You only have eyes for Miss Kujiragi, right?”
“Yeah, but that's a forbidden love! And even you've admitted to understanding
her appeal!”
“That doesn't...that doesn't count, Erika!”
She interrupts their bickering to turn her attention back to Emilia. “Anyway, I
hope that answers your question. You know, you haven't really talked about your
love life much, have you?”
Flushing, Emilia replies, “That's because there's nothing to tell!”
“Aw, come on, there's gotta be something. Do you like somebody? I mean, I know
you've not been here long, but has someone caught your interest anyway? Or was
there someone you liked at your old school? Come on, give us the details.”
“If you're a new student, and some stranger were to help you out...well, that's
the oldest trope in the book, isn't it?” asks Walker.
“Ignore him, he doesn't know anything about real romance. Anyway, come on,
Emichi! Dirty details, remember?”
“But there aren't any details!” she protests. “Dirty or otherwise. I've
never...really...liked anyone before? I don't think?”
“Aw, she's so innocent! That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!” Erika teases,
but there isn't any ill will in her teasing, and Emilia decides that it's safe
to ask her a few more questions on the topic.
“I'm really not even sure what it feels like. To like somebody like that, I
mean.”
“Oh! Oh, Yumachi, you better keep your mouth shut cos I don't want you trying
to give her your bad advice, okay?” Erika beams in excitement. “Just leave this
all to me! The most important thing to remember is that it feels a little
different for everyone, and that romance is complicated. Even for an expert
like myself, it's really hard to describe, but I guess most prominent is the
typical feeling of your heart pounding when you're near them.”
She nods to herself before she continues. “You get nervous, but you get excited
too! Even though you can barely keep your head on straight around them, you
still want to spend every second you can with them! Nothing makes you happier
than spending time with them or them showing you positive attention. Whenever
you're apart, you can't stop thinking about them, even when it doesn't make
sense, and any time you're away...all you want is to be with them!”
By the time she finishes her spiel, she's begun making dramatic gestures and
flourishes, and her voice is so loud that people at nearby tables are staring.
Emilia looks down, her face red, though this is only partially due to the
unwanted attention. Though she isn't sure- or, rather, she doesn't  want  to be
sure- the things that Erika are describing sound a little too familiar to her.
In fact, it's so familiar that she feels herself growing very, very
uncomfortable.
“I don't know if I've ever felt that for anyone before,” she lies. “Maybe when
I was little, I might have had a crush or two, but I've never felt anything
that serious.”
“Oh well, you're just a late bloomer! You'll find a heartthrob one of these
days,” says Erika.
And then Walker, unable to contain himself any longer, starts lecturing on
romance based on the most popular harem storylines, and Emilia is able to avoid
any suspicion before she knows the truth for herself.
~X~
Of course, she's already started to realize what is happening, but she's
refusing to accept it completely until she knows for certain. She is waiting as
long as she can, drawing out her suspicions for the rest of the day, and
waiting until her final class before she allows herself to really consider the
possibility.
But when she sits down, and the girls from the day before flock around her
again and start trying to ask her about Erika, making the questions a little
more personal this time- “So, is it because  you're into her?” “Aren't you a
little jealous of all the girls she tries to take in?” “Was she really hitting
on you at lunch today? Cos someone said they overheard something really
weird!”- she is almost able to distract herself from her worries.
And then Dr. Kishitani notices them, and shoos them to their desks like the day
before, and her heartbeat picks up all over again, and she doesn't know what to
do with herself. He begins class as if nothing happened and she hears someone
mutter, “Teacher's pet,” and she stares down at her shaking hands and wonders.
And when he starts passing back the homework from the day before, and she sees
she's gotten bonus points again, and she sees the note that says,  Excellent
work again! I'm impressed!  she knows.
She knows that everything Erika said felt familiar for a reason, and she knows
that her strange feelings for Dr. Kishitani are easy to explain, and she knows
why she felt so odd when Erika talked about having a crush on Miss Kujiragi.
Everything adds up, and she knows, without a doubt, that it's because she likes
him. All this time, she's had a crush on her eccentric anatomy teacher, and
it's been obvious, whether she's been willing to acknowledge it or not.
But now, there is no way for her to run from it. Now, she knows, and now, she
can't deny it. She just has no idea what she's supposed to.
 
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     this fic isn't dead folks
That night, Emilia barely gets any sleep. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking
about her revelation, and has spent most of the day in some sort of daze,
trying to work through her thoughts. Even though it’s obvious now that she
likes Dr. Kishitani, that doesn’t mean that she understands even that, having
never felt this seriously about anyone before. She likes him, but what does
that really mean for her, and what does it mean now that she knows that?
Emilia barely gets any sleep, and when she does, she has weird dreams that she
can’t quite remember or piece together when she wakes up, sometimes involving
Dr. Kishitani, sometimes involving Erika and Walker, sometimes involving Miss
Kujiragi, and sometimes involving the girls at school surrounding her and
calling her the teacher’s pet. She can never piece together all of the details
of the dreams, but they leave her feeling uneasy and anxious, and by the time
she has to get up for school, she’s only got an hour or two of sleep total, and
she’s exhausted.
But even now, she wouldn’t dream of skipping.
As soon as Erika comes up to her, rather than greeting her, she says, “Whoa,
you look out of it! Were you up all night or something? Did you start reading
and you just couldn’t stop?”
At her side, Walker says, “Yeah, I’d definitely understand something like that.
I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in years. You kind of get used to it,
actually!”
“You shouldn’t be encouraging unhealthy habits to a newcomer, Yumachi,” Erika
replies.
“What, like you get decent sleep?”
“What I do and do not do is completely irrelevant! Emicihi is still  new , and
that’s my point. You can’t just encourage that.”
“But can she really say she’s a true fan if she doesn’t dedicate her every
waking moment to it? And that  includes  increasing how many waking moments she
has!”
The two go back and forth like this for some time, not giving Emilia much
chance to get a word in edgewise, but she doesn’t mind. As always, she enjoys
hearing the way they talk to each other, and it serves as a good enough
distraction right now. When she finally does have a chance to speak, she says,
“I’m really sorry, I haven’t had much of a chance to read anything you guys
gave me lately.”
“Aw, really?” Erika frowns, but only for a moment. “That’s alright, though.
Take your time!”
“A good story is timeless, so it’ll have the same effect on you even if you
wait on it,” Walker adds.
“But that begs the question! What were you actually up late over?”
“Yeah, you really look like you didn’t get any sleep at all!”
“It couldn’t have been studying, could it? You’re a total curvy genius!”
 “I don’t really see what curvy has to do with it, Erika.”
“Because you clearly don’t understand the kind of character she is,  Yumachi .”
“No, I understand her character perfectly. I think  you  don’t understand-”
Before they can actually reach a consensus and turn their attention back to
Emilia, it’s time to go to class, so they don’t actually get to interrogate her
about until lunch.
“I’m sorry that Yumachi couldn’t get his shit together this morning,” says
Erika, “but now you can give us all the details about your scandalous late
night!”
“I’m choosing not to argue with you even though I definitely want to,” is all
that Walker says.
“There wasn’t anything scandalous,” Emilia says, and prays that they can’t tell
that she’s blushing right now.
“And yet your cheeks are turning the most adorable shade of pink right now!”
Erika croons, and she knows that her prayers have gone unanswered. “So? What is
it? What are you hiding from us?”
No matter how she tries to deny it, Erika stays right on her heels, with Walker
making what contributions he can, though it often feels like he’s straying
further off topic. Emilia is grateful for that, at least, because it makes it
easier for her to dodge the subject throughout lunch. If she can just make it
until the end, then she’ll have more time to avoid the subject, and possibly
come up with a decent lie.
“Ugh, it’s time for class already!” Erika groans, once lunch has come to an
end. “I can’t believe you managed to dodge me for that long, Emichi! What sort
of dark secrets are you hiding? I can’t stand the suspense, you know! Unless…”
The slow smile that breaks out across her face leaves Emilia feeling cold all
over, and leaves her feeling as if Erika might have known all along, and only
drug things out to this point because she could.
“Unless what I said to you before is finally getting to you. Could it be you’ve
discovered new feelings your heart? Could it be that you found out you totally
do  have a crush on someone?!”
“I...I...well, that’s…” When she finds herself confronted with it, Emilia finds
that she can’t actually bring herself to  lie  about it, even though she
definitely doesn’t want anyone to know the details of her feelings for Dr.
Kishitani.
“I  knew  it! You’re so obvious. Well, come on, you’ve got just enough time to
tell us who the lucky person is!”
“I can’t do  that !” she protests, her face going completely red. She wonders,
if it were anyone else, if she would be more willing to share it with Erika and
Walker. They are some of the best friends she’s had at school, after all, so
who else would be better to trust?
“Hm, well, that’s no fun, but I guess I understand,” she replies with a solemn
nod. “I’m only going easy on you because we have to get to class, though. You’d
better be prepared to tell me eventually, because you know I’d be able to keep
it a secret!”
“Me too,” adds Walker with a friendly smile. “I’m really trustworthy!”
Emilia is fortunate to be able to get away from them right then. As grateful as
she is for their claims of trustworthiness, that doesn’t change the fact that
it’s too embarrassing for her to admit to anyone. She knows that Erika is
somewhat shameless about her crush on Miss Kujiragi, but she can’t imagine
being that fearless. Though she would never make fun of Erika for it, and
though she’s pretty sure Erika wouldn’t make fun of her for anything, she can’t
help but feel like having a crush on a teacher is something that warrants
merciless teasing.
For now, she has to keep it to herself.
~X~
Trying to sit through another class in the same room as him is more difficult
than she ever could have imagined. All day, it’s been hard to stay awake, but
now Emilia is suddenly alert and on edge, watching everything he does with
closer attention than ever. Nothing of note happens throughout the entire
class, but still she watches him, her heartbeat picking up any time she feels
like he might be looking her way.
There’s no way that it’s really as obvious as she feels like it is, but she
fears that it’s written all over her face; that Dr. Kishitani can tell just by
looking at her that she’s fallen for him. Half of her wants class to never end
so that she can stay near him, but the other half is relieved when she can
finally go home and escape the tension that only she feels.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Throughout the next few days, Erika does what she can to try to guess who it is
that Emilia has a crush on, though she doesn’t come close, thankfully. Emilia
isn’t sure that she would be able to keep it a secret if Erika were much better
at guessing it, but she sticks to people who are in their mutual classes, or in
the cosplay club. Walker seems less interested, and prefers to grill her on her
opinions on what she’s been reading, which is always a good way to distract
Erika, so Emilia is glad for that.
Whenever she’s in class, things are just as difficult as they were the first
day after she realized her feelings. She finds it so hard to focus on anything
other than the man at the front of the class, and she’s always terrified that
he’ll realize that there’s something off about her, that she’s not just staring
at him because she’s interested in the lesson. It’s hard not to get visibly
flustered, even just being in the same room with him.
Still, she not only manages to keep her grades up, but also to excel, despite
how distracted she is during class. Due to her past knowledge, she could
probably do fine without paying any attention, but she studies quite a bit,
wanting to impress him. She knows that it doesn’t really matter if she
impresses him or not, because she’ll never impress him in the way she  wants
to, but she still looks forward to those little notes on the bottoms of her
assignments, praising her for her good work. It’s the closest she’s ever going
to get to him, she thinks, and she treasures it.
Of course, her excellent performance in class does her no favors in terms of
the negative attention she gets from some of her classmates. Though this is not
the only class where she is met with teasing, both due to her brains and her
closeness with Erika and Walker, it is by far and away the worst. It is one of
her only classes where there are so many girls who want to tease her for such
things, and even though Dr. Kishitani scared them off before, whenever he isn’t
around, it seems that most of them can’t resist the opportunity.
Usually, the teasing comes after some incident where either of Emilia’s friends
does something that comes across as weird, but there are times when it is
simply because of a remark made by the teacher, the previous day. In
particular, there is one phrase that continues to come up in the teasing, one
that follows Emilia even when they aren’t talking to her anymore.
“Don’t you know she’s the teacher’s pet?” someone says one day.
“You’re such a teacher’s pet,” someone else says, on another occasion.
“Of course she’s the teacher’s pet in  this  class. I mean, look at how weird
her friends are, and look at how weird  he  is. Seems like a perfect match, if
you ask me.”
Teacher’s pet , she repeats to herself every time, over and over again, even
when she’s home by herself. In her other classes and at lunch and at club
meetings and when she hangs out with Erika and Walker, she often remembers that
phrase, simply used to tease her for her brains, but one that means a little
more to her, considering her circumstances.
There’s no way that any of them have figured out her crush on him, not when
she’s managed to keep it from even her closest friends, but still, every time,
she’s worried that it’s some sort of accusation regarding that. Either way, she
knows that she would likely die if he heard them say that, but that is likely
because every time she imagines it, she imagines him replying that he doesn’t
care for her at all, something she knows that no teacher would be likely to do.
Either way, she doesn’t want him to know that she is still being bullied. If he
takes up for her again, it will probably only make things worse, and, more
importantly, she doesn’t want him to feel sorry for her or think she’s
pathetic, and she certainly feels pathetic at times, not standing up for
herself more. It’s always easier to avoid confrontation and keep her head down;
at last, that’s always how she’s dealt with things before.
She is caught between wanting attention from Dr. Kishitani, just because she
likes it when he talks to her and likes any interaction that they have, and not
wanting him to notice her at all, because she doesn’t know how to talk to
someone that she likes, even if it is a secret.
But he stops her after class one day, asking her if he can talk to her about
something, and she tries to keep her mixture of excitement and dread from
showing on her face.
“I just wanted to praise you for all the hard work you’ve been putting in,” he
says, once it’s just the two of them. “I know I say a lot on your homework, but
I haven’t been as verbally supportive, and I felt like it was high time I said
something about it.”
“You didn’t have to,” she says softly, before realizing that she sounds
ungrateful. “But I really appreciate it!” she adds.
“And I appreciate your enthusiasm in class,” Dr. Kishitani replies. “I’m more
likely to get that much effort out of juniors, since they’re so worried about
college, but we’re getting to a point where most seniors check out even before
they’ve actually applied anywhere.”
“Well, I really enjoy the class,” she says. “It’s one of my favorite subjects.”
“Now, now, don’t flatter me too much,” he says in a teasing tone, and she feels
herself blush. “I really do appreciate your effort, though, and I wanted to
tell you that. You can head on home now, since I’m sure even a studious kid
like you wants to get out of here as quickly as possible.”
She wants to tell him that that isn’t true, and that she would rather spend as
much time with him as possible, that she would spend hours in his classroom if
she could, but she knows that that would just be a dead giveaway, and
incredibly creepy on top of that. Instead, she just smiles up at him, and says,
“Thank you so much! I’ll see you tomorrow!” before taking her leave.
As hard as it is to be around him, she rather likes the way her heart feels
like it could beat out of her chest after their encounter, and she runs through
the conversation several times as she tries to fall asleep that night. She
really,  really  has it bad for him.
***** Chapter 8 *****
From that point on, Dr. Kishitani begins praising Emilia in person more and
make often. There are more days where he asks her to stay after class just to
say that she's doing a good job, and though this earns her more teasing from
those who wonder why he wants to talk to her so much, she can't bring herself
to care. Talking one on one with him always puts her in such a state of bliss
that she isn't even remotely bothered by what goes on outside of her little
bubble.
It's almost the middle of the semester, and he claims that for those seniors
who haven't given up yet, that that is the most common time for them to start
to slack off. Early application due dates are approaching for colleges, and
some will be accepted early; he claims that he wants to keep one of his top
students motivated, so that she doesn't become another one of the unfortunate
slackers.
Of course, she'd never dream of it in  any  class, but she doesn't tell him
that his class in particular is more important to her than any others. Instead,
she always thanks him for his continued encouragement.
One day, when they are talking alone, he says, “Since it’s almost the midterm,
I think I should go ahead and let you know that we have group projects coming
up, rather than a big test. However, if you'd prefer to work on the project
alone, I'm going to allow that.”
“Because I have no friends?” she can't help but ask.
“Because I know you're capable of doing the work on your own,” he replies. “And
because I know you don't see eye to eye with some of the girls in the class,
and I don't want to force you to work with someone you don't get along with.
It's likely you'd just end up having to carry the whole project yourself either
way, don't you agree?”
Somehow, he has a way of saying it that doesn't come across as him implying
that she has no friends, even though she knows that's exactly what this comes
down to. He says it as if he understands what it's like for someone like her to
be in a project group with people who don't like her, but would rely on her
intelligence at the same time, and she wonders, for a moment, what high school
was like for him.
“I understand,” she says. “Thank you for the opportunity, I promise I’ll do my
best on the project!”
“I’d say that you don’t even know anything about it yet, but, considering it’s
you, I believe you,” he replies. “I’m sure I won’t regret allowing you to work
online on it, either.”
It becomes easier to talk alone with him every time that she does it, until she
reaches a point where she wants to hang around after school, regardless of if
he asked her to or not. She knows that she shouldn’t do that, that the two of
them aren’t friends and that she’s just being delusional, but some days she
can’t help but make up an excuse to talk to him, and hangs around after school
more often than not. Still, he at least makes an effort to act interested in
what she has to say, and sometimes it’s hard not to think that there might be
something more going on between the two of them.
Still, she’s sure that she’s just misinterpreting things, because she wants to
be more important to him than she actually is. She isn’t the teacher’s pet; she
just  wants  to be.
~X~
“Once you decide what pairings you’re into, I can hook you up with the really
good content,” Erika says, in the middle of one of their post-cosplay club
conversations. Some Fridays, Emilia will go home with Erika after school, where
Erika continues to try to educate her in all of her interests.
“And what does that mean?” she asks.
“Well, you know what pairings are, but you have to know that fans like to write
and draw stuff for that!” her friend replies. “Some of it is sweet, and
innocent, and that’s all well and good, but then there’s the  really  good
stuff, you know?”
“I don’t know if I do?” Already, Emilia can feel herself blushing, because she
has a bit of an idea, she just doesn’t want to say it out loud.
“The  good  stuff,” Erika says, leaning in conspiratorially. “You know, rated R
and above! Emphasis on the above of course!”
“O-oh.”
“Trust me, whatever you’re into, I bet we could find something for you,” she
continues. “What kind of stuff  are  you into? Or are you one of those super
innocent virgin types? That’s kind of what I had you figured you for, but I
guess you could be a secret freak too.”
“I-I-I’m not! Not at all!”
“That’s what I thought! Well, don’t worry...it’s just the two of us here, so I
can take plenty of time to educate you…”
~X~
When Emilia is finally home by herself, her mind is still on the topics she and
Erika discussed. Fortunately for her, her friend did not insist on a hands-on
demonstration, but there was a lot of reading and a lot of talking, and a lot
of Emilia trying to pretend that she didn’t have anything in particular that
she wanted to think about.
But now that she’s alone, what else is there for her to do? She’s so curious
now, curious about things that she’s mostly repressed, and she can’t stop
herself from locking her bedroom door, and slowly stripping down to her
underwear, and climbing under her covers, and closing her eyes, and imagining
Dr. Kishitani.
Emilia rests a hand on her stomach, wishing that she had gloves to put on that
would make it feel more like she’s sure his touch would. Her hand is warm, and
she wonders if his will be as well. There is a warm ache between her legs now,
and she starts to move her hand down, until it is under the waistband of her
panties. She pushes her other hand under her bra, to grab at one of her
breasts, and she can only think about how awkward her movements must be.
With no experience to speak of, she only has the weird lessons she received
from Erika to go off of, but the more she thinks about her anatomy teacher, the
more the heat grows, the more she aches, and she doesn’t want to stop until
she’s figured this out. She imagines him touching her instead; she imagines him
alone with her, in the classroom, perhaps on the desk, and, of course, he
leaves the gas mask on.
Emilia doesn’t know what she’s doing, but he would be able to teach her, she
thinks. Teaching is his job, after all, and he could show her what it is that
she’s been missing. It takes her some time to figure out just how to touch
herself, but as she begins to understand it, she feels so good that she could
cry, and she doubts that there is anyone else in the world she could think
about that would make her feel quite like this.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Needless to say, Emilia doesn’t get much sleep that night, or for any night,
the rest of the weekend, as she continues to figure herself out. She knows that
if she shows up on Monday looking exhausted, then it will be a dead giveaway to
anyone that she hasn’t been sleeping much again, but she isn’t able to stop
herself once she starts.
Sure enough, on Monday morning, the first time she yawns, Erika gives her a
knowing look, and Walker outright asks, “What was it that kept you up this
time?”
“Reading!” she immediately lies, though it isn’t a complete lie. At least, she
definitely referenced some written content that Erika exposed her to some
nights, so in a way, she  was  up reading, at times. Of course, she expects
Erika to call her out on lying, but the other girl, though she continues to
give her knowing glances, remains mostly silent.
And Walker just nods and says, “Well, I’m not supposed to encourage that
behavior, apparently, but I can’t help but say, good job! To lose yourself in
the world of fiction for a night is the first step toward becoming one of us!
But, I guess if you hang out with us all the time, you’re already one of us, so
no rush, okay?”
“Alright,” she replies with a smile, touched by his odd words. She’s never had
friends this close before, and, though the two of them are incredibly odd, in
their own ways, so is she in hers, and it feels so nice to be included, even if
they are different. Plus, Walker always offers such perfect distractions from
her situation, and she really appreciates that.
But Erika is not so easily distracted, and even if she asks no questions
throughout the day, she waits until a point at lunch when Walker is not around
to say, “Walk home with me right after school, alright?” and Emilia knows that
she has not gotten off scott free this time.
She wants to say that she’s busy after school, but she knows that her usual
conversations with Dr. Kishitani don’t really count as plans, and that she
should break herself of that habit anyway. It’s not as if it’s a real excuse
she can give Erika anyway, so she simply agrees to meet up with her, and spends
the rest of the day dreading said meeting. Until she’s in class, that is; then,
she is just warm all over and embarrassed and turned on, and silently praying
that nobody can tell.
Finally, the end of the day is upon her and she can’t escape Erika’s curiosity.
Though, as it turns out, she doesn’t have much to try to figure out, and once
they’re alone, she says, “I figured you wouldn’t want Yumachi around since it’s
so clearly girl stuff, right? It has something to do with Friday, doesn’t it?”
As her face goes red, Emilia mumbles, “Yeah, kind of.” She doesn’t know why she
doesn’t try to deny it at all. Maybe it’s because she’s had to deal with Erika
interrogating her about her crush so much that she’s already close to cracking
anyway.
“Ooh, my little Emichi is growing up so fast!” Erika squeals. “That’s kinda
hot, knowing that I inspired such a change! Okay, so are you going to give me
any details, or do I have to squeeze them out of you?”
“You...you have to already know that it’s because of...you know!”
“The guy you like? Yeah, I suspected.” She gives a mock sigh and says, “It
really was too much to dream I could have inspired a little more! But, enough
about me...are you ever going to tell me who he is? You know I won’t tell
anyone.”
“You’re going to think it’s weird, though!”
“But I’m all  about  weird!” Erika protests. “Come on, what have I ever done
that would make you think I would judge you for anything? I showed you some of
my doujinshi stash, we’ve got  trust  now, don’t you know that? If you  really
don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you, but please consider?”
She knows that she shouldn’t, but the way Erika looks at her makes her feel bad
for trying to keep it a secret, and she really was close to cracking. That is
why she looks down and mumbles, “Dr. Kishitani.”
Erika stares at her for a moment, and every second of silence that passes
threatens to kill Emilia on the spot, but finally, a grin breaks out across
Erika’s face and she says, “That’s all? You almost had me worried! I mean, I
get why you think it’s weird cos it’s him, cos he’s a teacher and all, but
remember, me and Yumachi both thought he was pretty cool! Plus, I can’t really
judge you for liking a teacher, all things considered.”
Emilia knows that she shouldn’t be surprised by Erika’s casual reaction, but a
part of her still is. Now she knows, at least, that she never had anything to
worry about where her friend was concerned. “Just...don’t tell anyone,
alright?”
“You can trust me! I’ve said it before, I won’t even tell Yumachi, alright?”
Erika grins as she says, “Now, are you going to tell me anymore about this
little crush of yours? Student-teacher romances are always  so  fun to read
about, so please share everything you can!”
Emilia hesitates before she begins to talk more about it. Though she still
feels weird talking about her feelings for the older man, she has been kind of
lonely, keeping it all to herself. She decides that there is no harm in sharing
with someone like Erika, who has proven herself several times to be a good
friend to her.
“I don’t really know when it started,” she says, “but before I knew it, I
couldn’t stop thinking about him?”
“Ooh, a true classic! So, are weird guys always your type, or is this a first
for you?”
“A little bit of both? I don’t know, I’ve not liked anyone this much before,
but I guess my taste has always been a little weird?” Everything she says comes
out more like a question, as even she is still learning about her own feelings.
“He’s probably a first, though.”
“So, what do you think he really looks like? I bet you’re banking on super hot!
Like a hot dad type, you know? Or is it the mystery that does it for you?
That’s pretty understandable too.”
Erika’s words are embarrassing, but Emilia is happy to answer anyway; she’s
happy to talk about this with someone, and happy to not be completely alone in
this. They go into greater detail, as embarrassing as that is, and Erika takes
quite the interest in Emilia’s late nights alone, and even goes so far as to
give her additional tips.
“And if you ever need any assistance, feel free to give me a call,” she teases
with a wink.
~X~
At the very least, with Erika’s tips, Emilia’s late nights get a little bit
easier to deal with.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Eventually, things get easier for Emilia, as she grows more used to her new
“hobby”. At the very least, being able to relieve sexual frustration, and
having an easier time of it, makes it easier to concentrate in her daily life.
As long as she restricts her fantasies to the time where she’s alone and able
to do something about them, then she’s just fine.
As their projects get underway, she is allowed to work by herself, as he said
she would be, and she pays no attention to anyone who has quiet remarks about
that. They have so much time to work during class that Dr. Kishitani isn’t
doing much actual teaching, and from time to time, he’ll check in with her and
talk with her, and she overhears more about her being the teacher’s pet, but
she cares less and less every time.
Her friendship with Dr. Kishitani can’t even be called that; he is just a
teacher who pays close attention to students who put forth effort, nothing
more, but even so, whenever he pays attention to her, she finds that she
doesn’t give a damn what anyone in her class thinks about her.
Of course, there are times when having him close to her gets her more excited
than she needs to be at school, and that’s always awkward.
The project comes to an end and she does well, and their midterms come and go,
and she does well on that. After midterms comes fall break, a few extra days
off of school for everyone to prepare for the rest of the semester. During her
fall break, Emilia makes plans with Erika and Walker, and the three of them go
out shopping. Naturally, they want to go to bookstores and show Emilia around
to some of their favorite places, which she is more than happy to go along
with.
“We usually don’t miss many releases,” Erika says, “so there isn’t as much for
us to get caught up on.”
“Midterms were kind of busy, so we have a little bit of a backlog,” Walker
adds. “But look around at whatever you want to.”
“Oh, yeah, if you have anything you need to pick up, you can!” she says. “You
don’t have to spend the whole day sticking to us and looking at everything we
want to look at.”
But Emilia doesn’t mind to look at what they want to look at, and she listens
to them go on about different things as they show books to her. For the most
part, she is entirely focused on them, but she hears someone passing behind
them, talking to a friend, and they say, “Why do you think he’s dressed like
that?”
“And in public, seriously! I know Halloween is coming up and all, but…”
Emilia tries to tell herself that it’s highly unlikely that they’re talking
about Dr. Kishitani, that he’s actually in the same building as her, and that,
even if he is, that’s no reason for her to go looking for him, and that it’d be
weird if she did. She tells herself all of this, but still, she turns to her
friends and says, “I’ll be right back, I need to look for something.”
They’re so immersed in whatever it is they’re looking at that they wave her off
without much thought, and she heads in the direction that the gossipping
friends came from. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, and she doesn’t know
what she’s expecting to happen if she does see, but then she does.
He’s standing with his back to her, but he’s in the same white lab coat she’s
used to seeing him in, with the same dark hair slicked back, and she can see
the straps that hold his gas mask in place. It’s Dr. Kishitani, in the same
store as her, so close that she could walk up to him and talk to him.
She doesn’t.
Instead, she heads for the aisle next to the one that he’s in, so that she can
wait, and watch for when he leaves. When he does, she steps back so that he
doesn’t see her, and begins her clumsy attempt to follow him around the store.
For the most part, she manages to stay far enough behind him, and manages to
turn away at all the right moments, so that he doesn’t notice her, or at least,
he never says anything to her.
When he gets in line to check out, she goes outside, and while she waits for
him, she texts Erika, saying that she ran into someone and that she’ll meet up
with them later. This is going too far, and she knows it, but when he exits the
store and starts walking in another direction, she waits just a moment before
going after him. By this point, she knows that she’s stalking her teacher.
He goes in somewhere to eat, and she decides not to follow him inside. It’s
about time she gets back to the bookstore, she knows, but she hesitates just
long enough to happen to be walking past the outside seating, when he is
brought to a table. And there is no way to avoid him seeing her then, and he
waves to her.
“Is that you, Emilia?” he asks, and she hesitates for only a moment before she
walks over to him.
“Hello,” she says, her voice coming out softer than she intended.
“What are you doing out and about today?” he asks.
“Oh, just, um...getting some shopping done,” she says. “I was with some
friends, but we...split off.”
“Well, good to know you aren’t out by yourself,” he replies. “Are you enjoying
your fall break?”
“Yes, but I…”
“But you…?”
“I’d like to get back to school,” she confesses. “It’s my last first semester
of high school.”
“Are you feeling sentimental?”
“I don’t know about that. I’d just like to keep working and make the best of
it.”
“Well, judging by how you did on midterms, the rest of the semester is going to
be a breeze for you.”
“I don’t know about that,” she says, but she laughs, and he laughs with her, at
her attempts at being modest. They both know exactly how she is, and it’s far
from the first time they’ve had a conversation where he’s praised her so
openly.
“Your friends must be waiting for you,” he says, and, despite not knowing what
his face looks like, she can imagine the knowing look on it. “As much as I
enjoy talking to you, let’s face it; it’s far too inappropriate for me to
invite you to sit down with me. No matter how much I may want to.”
He...wants to?
At first, Emilia can’t react at all. He wants to ask her to stay? She can feel
her hands shaking as she nods and says, “I guess I should go, but I...I don’t
want to.”
“It’s highly inappropriate, Emilia.”
“I don’t care,” she confesses, and he chuckles.
“Go meet up with your friends, alright? I don’t want anything to...escalate.”
He waves her on, and, as much as she wants to try to convince him to let her
stay, she does as she’s told, and spends the rest of the day in a daze.
Neither Walker nor Erika can figure out what’s wrong with her.
***** Chapter 11 *****
It takes a long time for Emilia to snap out of it, after her conversation with
Dr. Kishitani. She spends the rest of her fall break thinking about, running
through every detail of the conversation, every word that he said, every slight
gesture he made, searching for some sort of meaning behind it all. Not for the
first time, she wishes that she could see his face, just to be able to try to
read into what he’s thinking a little more.
She didn’t tell Erika or Walker what she did, though both could tell that
something was up, and asked her several times to tell them what was going on.
It was too weird to admit that she had followed him around, and she knew she
would look stupid for having done it, and for looking for deeper meaning in his
words. She would look like she had hope for something between them, and there
was nothing stupider than that.
So she kept it to herself and went home, unable to get it off her mind. He
didn’t say much, but she feels like he said a lot, and nothing really happened,
but she feels like everything has changed, somehow. The long weekend passes
slowly, and every minute of it that she’s awake, she feels like she spends
thinking about him, wondering about him, and waiting until Monday afternoon,
when she’ll get to see him again. Will anything actually be different once she
sees him in person again?
In the back of her mind, she knows that she shouldn’t expect it to be. There’s
no reason for anything to have changed between them, just because she pushed
her boundaries more in a conversation, and came closer than ever to admitting
that she had feelings for him.
Really, she should be tired of what will happen now. She should be terrified
that he knows and that he’ll treat her differently in a bad way, that he’ll
resent her or make fun of her for her crush. It’s all but completely obvious
now, and since there’s no way in hell he could possibly feel the same way, that
means that everything is ruined now. Everything is ruined, and she has nothing
to feel happy about, but still she is somewhat giddy whenever she remembers
talking to him, and whenever she remembers how close she felt to him for those
few minutes.
What’s going to happen and what’s going to change? Will anything? Did she
totally blow it? Is there anything even worth worrying about?
She gets roped into hanging out with Erika and Walker again before the weekend
is over, and hopes to use that as a chance to take her mind off of things, but
even that doesn’t work, and they badger her about her strange behavior more,
until she knows that she has to say  something .
“I’m just...thinking about someone!”
“The guy you like?” Walker asks. “Erika says you told her, so I guess that
means you don’t want me to know? I really wouldn’t tell anyone, you know…”
“Come on, Emichi, I think we’ve kept him in the dark long enough,” Erika
teases.
“It’s...it’s a teacher,” she starts, and Walker nods.
“Yeah, that makes sense. Erika’s got a thing for Miss Kujiragi, and I really
don’t blame her on that one. So? Which one is it for you?”
“Um...Dr. Kishitani.”
At that, Walker smiles, and nods again. “Yeah, yeah, I can  totally  see that!
It’s not surprising at all, now that I think about it. Really, I kind of think
I had a crush on him too, back when I had his class.”
“Do teachers just not count as 3D for you, Yumachi?” Erika asks, raising a
brow.
“It’s not that they don’t count as 3D, it’s just that some of them are more 2D
than other people, so I don’t know where to classify them,” he replies, as if
that makes perfect sense, and to him, Emilia is sure that it does.
She’s relieved that Walker reacts about as casually as Erika did, if not more
so. Honestly, his reaction makes sense to her, and there was probably never any
reason to try to keep it from him, especially not after she’d already told
Erika.
“So, did something juicy happen?” asks Erika. “I mean, you just started acting
this weird this weekend, so something new must have happened! Oh my god, was he
the one you went to meet when you ditched us at the bookstore? Did you actually
go out with him?!”
“No! I mean, yes, but no?” Emilia holds her hands up, to keep them quiet while
she tries to explain herself. “I did see him, but we didn’t meet up, or go out,
or anything like that. I just saw him, and I kind of followed him? But nothing
happened!” She lies about the last part, not sure that she wants them to know
how deeply she’s been reading into the conversation.
“Is this turning into a stalker story? Emichi, are you a yandere now?”
The conversation quickly derails from that point on.
~X~
Finally, the long weekend ends, and Emilia returns to school on Monday. As she
would expect, the day drags by, and she both can’t wait for her anatomy class
and dreads it. Either everything will be different or nothing will, and she
doesn’t know which outcome she wants, which one will be best.
When she sits down in his classroom, in her usual seat, he is already there,
and he doesn’t pay any attention to her. He is busy with something, though she
can’t see what from where she is. She feels like she can barely breathe as she
waits for the bell to ring and for him to begin class. And, even when he does,
there’s nothing to suggest that he acknowledges her, which means that nothing
has changed at all.
She tries not to be disappointed.
Dr. Kishitani teaches his lesson, getting them right back into the swing of
things after fall break, fending off any complaints by claiming that this is
important material and that they can’t afford to waste any time. She hangs onto
every word, just as she always does, and tries to bury her disappointment.
Class goes by too quickly for her liking, especially because of how long she
feels like she’s been waiting for it.
It isn’t long before the final bell of the day rings, and already, she wonders
how she’s going to survive the wait for class the next day, as if she really
expects something different to happen. By now, it must be too late, so there’s
nothing left for her to look forward to, now, or for the rest of the school
year.
At least, that’s what she’s thinking while she’s gathering her things and
putting them in her backpack, putting it on and preparing to leave the
classroom. That’s what she thinks, but she still moves slowly, slow enough that
the room is mostly empty when she walks toward the door, and Dr. Kishitani
says, “Emilia, can I ask you to stay after class for a few moments?”
***** Chapter 12 *****
Dr. Kishitani waits until they are completely alone, until the last student has
left the classroom, before he closes the door. Emilia stands by his desk the
whole time, not sure where to look or what to do, until they have their privacy
and he is able to tell her what he wants to tell her. He even goes so far as to
lock the door behind him before he walks over to her, and pauses for a moment.
Finally, he says, “I can’t begin to tell you just how inappropriate it is for
me to be alone with a female student in a locked classroom.”
“Is this about what happened over fall break?” she asks softly, and Dr.
Kishitani pauses again.
“You were incredibly forward, you know,” he says, after a moment. “It was
surprising, considering how subtle you’ve tried to be in the past.”
Subtle?
Tried ?
She can’t think of anything to say, so he continues. “I’ve sort of pieced your
feelings together, you know. I’m...far too interested in you, as much more than
a student. At first, it was just as a student. You’re more intelligent and
enthusiastic than most that I deal with, which I’m sure I told you several
times before.”
Emilia can’t process a word that he’s saying; it sounds like he’s admitting to
having an interest in her, but there’s simply no way that could be the case.
She may have had foolish hope in the past, but even then, she was rational
enough to know that it would never actually happen, so why is he saying things
like this to her now? Why is he doing something to indicate that she might have
been wrong?
“I was just curious about you at first,” he continues. “And then, I pitied you
a bit, because of how the girls in the class picked on you, and maybe I showed
a little bit of favoritism...after that, it turned into...hm, I suppose
fascination is the only word that really works? So I developed a fascination
with you, as horrible as that may sound, because you’re interesting. And once I
figured out you had a crush on me, well...that was what really did me in.”
“Figured out?” she asks softly.
“You weren’t very subtle, though I know you tried,” he says, using those words
again. “I’ve suspected for quite some time now, actually.”
“I didn’t...I mean, I tried to…”
“I know you tried, Emilia,” he replies. “But I figured you out, and that made
it pretty much impossible to continue denying my attraction to you. Like I
said, that was what did me in. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this,
honestly. Perhaps I’m just not able to resist anymore, even though I’ve managed
for a very long time.”
At this point, Emilia feels like she’s lost the ability to breathe, much less
think.
“There is a very large part of me that wants to take advantage of you,” he
says, his voice low, and she knows she shouldn’t be so excited to hear that,
but she is. “After all, I know that you’re young and naive and you probably
think the world of me. It would be pretty easy for me to do, don’t you agree?”
“Is it really taking advantage of me, if I...if I…”
“If you want it? You know I could make that point that you’re far too young to
really know what you want.”
“I’m almost eighteen,” she protests, and he chuckles.
“Age isn’t always the most important factor,” he replies. “Eighteen isn’t the
magic number that makes you ready, you know. I have a lot I could say on that,
but I doubt we have the time. The most important thing is that I tell you that
we need to cut this off before it starts, but I’m sure you already know that,
don’t you, Emilia?”
They need to...what?
He wants to...cut things off?
She’s already so thrown off balance that it’s hard for her to process any of
this, but this throws her even further off balance. They need to cut things
off? He doesn’t want anything else to happen? But then what was the point of
telling her all this? Why couldn’t they have just continued as they were, with
him pretending not to know? She doesn’t know what to think about all of this,
or what to say to him, or how she is supposed to act in a situation like this.
There is a long silence where she stares at him, unable to think of what to say
to him, and he stares back (she assumes), waiting for the response that she
can’t come up with. She doesn’t want to agree with him, and she doesn’t want to
cut things off before they begin- she  wants  them to begin. And if she doesn’t
convince him of that now, then she’s going to lose her chance forever, and
he’ll just keep thinking she’s a naive child who doesn’t really know what she
wants.
Maybe she is, she thinks for a moment, but she decides then that she doesn’t
care. If this isn’t what she really wants, and if this is just a mistake she’s
making because she’s young, she’d rather make that mistake now, then never know
what could have happened. She could have accepted never having a chance with
him, but she can’t accept losing a chance when he’s admitted to being
interested in her.
“You can’t tell me all this and then expect me to back off,” she says at last.
“Whether you think I’m too naive or not, that doesn’t change the fact that I
want this, and that you’ve admitted that you do too. Maybe I don’t know what I
want, but I know exactly who I should report this to, if you make me.”
She doesn’t realize just how far she’s going until she’s already said it; she
never knew she had the capacity to be that manipulative, but when she has what
she wants right in front of her, she’ll be damned if she lets it go without a
fight. Somehow, when Dr. Kishitani begins to chuckle, she knows that she’s won.
“You’re an ambitious one, Emilia, I’ll give you that,” he says. “You’ll
probably never have trouble going for what you want in life.”
“Meet me at that restaurant,” she says. “The one where we met over fall break,
where you ate outside. We can’t leave the school together, so I’ll be waiting
for you there.”
She doesn’t wait for him to say anything, and he doesn’t stop her on her way
out the door, not even in the time it takes for her to unlock it or leave.
There’s no way of knowing whether or not she’s really won yet, but she hurries
to that place, to wait for him, unsure of what she will do if he decides to
call her bluff and reject her for good.
But she only waits for about ten minutes before he climbs out of a taxi across
the street. When he reaches her, he says, “I don’t live far from here, and my
son won’t be home. He rarely ever is. Would you like to pay me a visit?”
***** Chapter 13 *****
They sit a distance apart on the bus, after he tells her what stop they'll be
getting off at. He doesn't drive, she supposes, and she tries not to stare at
him from her seat. If someone from school were to get on, they have to appear
to not be aware of each other. Even when they get off at the same stop, she
walks a good distance behind him, paying close attention to where he goes.
Eventually, he goes inside a house. She waits before she approaches it and
knocks; after he lets her in, he closes and locks the door behind her, taking
great care to show her how it locks- perhaps so she doesn't feel trapped, so
she feels like she can get back out- and he takes off his gas mask.
She doesn't know if he really is incredibly handsome or if it's just her bias
after having a crush on him for so long, but after waiting all this time to see
his face, she is not disappointed in the least, and she thinks that says
something.
“Dr. Kishitani,” she breathes, finally breaking the silence.
“Please,” he says, “while we’re in my home I want you to call me Shingen.”
“Shingen,” she repeats, and then he leans in to kiss her. At first, his lips
are pressed gently to hers, as she tries to learn from him; it’s her first,
after all, and she’s sure that he knows that. But then, she finds herself
pushed against the wall behind her, and his kiss becomes deeper, and she goes
weak in his arms.
Dr. Kishitani- Shingen- keeps her steady, but does not slow down, and the
familiar heat that haunts her most nights flares up again, and she desperately
hopes that he plans to do something about that while she’s here, or else she
doesn’t know what she’s going to do. Something tells her that the usual
treatment won’t help this time.
When he finally pulls away from her, she can barely breathe, and all she can do
is study his face while he speaks to her, trying to memorize it so that she
won’t forget it once he has the mask back on. “Do you want to take this to my
bedroom, Emilia?” he asks, and she nods weakly, not caring that she might seem
too eager.
How long has she been waiting for this?
In the back of her mind, she knows that it really hasn’t been all that long
since she first realized she liked him, or since her feelings began to
escalate, but it feels like she’s waited a lifetime to be here, with him
looking at her like that. He chuckles and takes her hand, and her legs are so
shaky she can hardly follow behind him to his room. It’s plain and white, just
like she’d expect from him, and he guides her to his bed, stopping her just in
front of it.
“So typical, isn’t it?” he asks, reaching to unbutton the top button on her
blouse. “A busty, blonde, brainy beauty? Of course that’d be the type I go
for.” His hands are quick and skilled as he goes for one button and then the
next; Emilia can feel her face growing red. She hasn’t really thought much
about this part, about the fact that he’s going to see her, that he’s going to
look at her body, and she hopes now that he likes what he sees, but it’s too
late to do anything about it.
Soon enough, he has her blouse completely unbuttoned, and she slowly shrugs it
off. Shingen studies her for a moment, and she somehow isn’t surprised that his
face is no easier to recent without the mask; he looks almost clinical, and she
almost flinches back when he reaches forward, cupping one of her breasts in his
gloved hand. He gives her a gentle squeeze before switching off to the other,
and she gasps softly.
“You’re gorgeous,” he finally says, “but you must already know that. Don’t
you?”
“I don’t know about that,” she replies, and he shakes his head.
“And modest on top of that. You’re the complete package, aren’t you?” Reaching
behind her, he unfastens her bra; once that is out of the way, he goes for her
skirt, her panties, until he has her completely naked and he studies her once
more. “Gorgeous,” he repeats, before gesturing for her to lay down. While she
does that, he peels off his gloves and sheds his lab coat, hesitating for a
moment after that.
“You’re not going to be too impressed,” he warns. “I’m sure I’ve got a total
dad body.” There’s something so out of place about him saying that that she
giggles, and he laughs along with her, beginning to take loosen his tie. “At
least that helped break the ice, hm?”
It never occurred to her that he could be nervous as well, and it makes it
easier, knowing that he is. Once he’s naked, he climbs on top of her, saying,
“This might take some time. You’ve never done this before, have you?” When she
shakes her head, he says, “Then I’ll do my best to make sure you’re ready. It
still might hurt, so let me know if it’s more than you can handle.”
A hand drops between her legs, and she could cry from joy at the unfamiliar
sensation, something she’s craved every time she’s touched herself on her own.
Shingen seems to know what he’s doing, as well, and the touch she’s fantasized
about can’t hope to compare to what he does to her in real life. She wants him
so bad that it hurts, but he takes his time, telling her again and again that
she isn’t ready that, that she won’t be ready until...and always, he trails
off.
When she can feel her orgasm approaching, she tries to warn him, but she can’t
quite speak now, and he just smiles as if he already knows, until she’s blinded
and she cries out for him. Only when it starts to fade does he say, “Now, I
think you might be ready for more. If you’re still in the mood, that is.”
Once is not nearly enough to satisfy her, and she’s even more in the mood than
before. She needs him now, more than she ever thought possible, and he leans
down to kiss her once more, murmuring as he pulls back, “I can’t believe I’m
really doing this.”
Neither can she.
~X~
It’s late when she finally leaves his house, and they’ve exchanged numbers so
that he can make sure she gets home safely. She has him in her phone under a
fake name, and he does the same for her. When she gets home, her parents seem
worried; she’d sent them a text while she road the bus, saying that she was
going to be with Erika, and they didn’t question it, but they’d expected her
home sooner.
Still, all she has to do is apologize and they forgive her, as they weren’t
really mad, just a little worried. She’s never been a troublemaker before, and
they’ve never had any reason not to trust her, so of course they trust her now.
Just like that, she gets away with it, and falls asleep easier than expected,
more exhausted than she realized.
There’s something strangely nice about knowing that she  is  a troublemaker,
this time.
***** Chapter 14 *****
The next day when she wakes up, the first thing Emilia feels is a little sore,
and it takes her a moment to fully wake up and remember why that is. She feels
herself grow warm all over as she remembers the events of the day before, and
remembers that they were real, and not just part of a very wonderful, very
vivid, very cruel dream. Part of her wants to just lay in bed all day, basking
in these memories, but another part of her is eager to go to school, because
she knows she’ll be able to see him again if she does.
While she gets ready for school, she thinks about Erika and Walker, and how
they’ll probably be able to tell that something is different about her. She’s
going to have to do a better job keeping secrets from them now, because, as
much as she hates to lie to them when they’ve proven to be so trustworthy, a
secret like this is not one that she can trust with anybody. If this got out,
it would ruin Shingen’s career, and they would never be able to see each other
again. No matter what, she has to keep this to herself.
Throughout the day, she makes up lies about her dazed and giddy behavior,
saying that she had to talk to Dr. Kishitani after class the day before, and,
though nothing happened, getting to talk to him alone like that was more than
enough to excite her this much. Erika and Walker both seem to believe her, with
Erika teasing her about her “adorable, innocent” crush, and Emilia almost
wishes that she could tell her friend that it was anything but.
The day drags on, as it always does when she’s looking forward to her last
class. While she waits for class to start, some of the usual suspects try to
interrogate her about staying after class the day before, accusing her of being
the teacher’s pet all over again, but she doesn’t pay them much attention. When
Shingen enters the room the girls scatter, but it’s very clear that they’ve
been caught in the act.
He doesn’t say a word this time, seeming disinterested, but Emilia doesn’t mind
if he doesn’t come to her defense. It’s better to distance themselves at
school, she knows, and she doesn’t need him to defend her when she knows that
they share something much bigger. So there isn’t much that anyone can say to
faze her now, and, when Shingen passes out the homework he’s graded, she keeps
a straight face when he passes by her desk.
It’s as if nothing has changed between them, and, as she studies her homework
grade, it really feels like nothing has. There’s a polite message at the
bottom, but, when she studies it closer, she starts to notice a pattern.
Spectacular, amazed by your performance as always. Continue the hard work!  No
wordier than anything else he’s been saying lately, but some letters are
written a little smaller than others, something that doesn’t suit his
handwriting.
Same place ...that’s the message she gets when she spells out the smaller
letters. She wonders, for a moment, if she’s just being delusional and looking
for messages that aren’t there, but she thinks, for a moment, about how
eccentric he is, and it doesn’t seem beyond him to try to communicate like
this. At least, there’s no harm in going to that place after school, just to
see what happens.
When class ends, he doesn’t ask her to stay or say anything in particular to
her, and she leaves without a word to him either. It’ll be a little while
before he’s able to come, so when she arrives at the small restaurant, she gets
a table outside, after buying something small at the counter. She doesn’t have
much of an appetite right now, and she watches the sidewalk, waiting for
Shingen to arrive.
After about a half hour, she sees him, and he passes by, giving her a light
wave. She throws away her food and gets on the same bus as him, following the
same ritual that they did the day before, and soon enough, she is back at his
house, knocking. As Shingen lets her in, he says, “We’ve really let this go too
far, haven’t we?”
“Yes, we have,” she agrees with a smile, stepping into his home. All day, she’s
hoped and waited for this, and now she’s finally back. It’s real.
“I don’t think we really talked enough yesterday,” he says. “As much as I’d
like to just get you back to my room...I wonder if you’re really okay with
that. Did you only want a sexual relationship with me, or were you after
something more?”
“I wasn’t after anything,” she replies. “I would have been happy with anything,
but I never thought…”
“But now that you have me, you should know that this can go as far as you want
it to,” he says. “Well, we can’t go public, not for a long while, but other
than that. You probably know that I’ve been married before. I don’t know if I
ever told you that I’m not currently married. Shinra’s mother isn’t in the
picture anymore, and hasn’t been for a very long time.”
Not knowing what to say, she simply replies, “I’m sorry,” and he laughs.
“No need to be, she was a horrible woman anyway.” She can’t tell whether or not
he’s telling the truth, whether he’s saying this because this is what’s helped
him move on, or whether she really was that bad. “I’ve had a decade to get over
that either way, but, truth be told, I never thought I’d be back here with
anyone, least of all a student. I’d pretty much decided that my love life had
reached its end.”
“But now you want to…”
“Be with you? As much as I can, yes, which is very unexpected. I could very
well be walking into another disaster relationship, but I still want to.”
To hear him talk like this, Emilia becomes more hopeful for a future with him.
Before, she never dared to hope she could have anything with them, and even as
he admitted to liking her and even after their first night together, she’s done
her best not to get her hopes up. If it’s only a brief affair...she kept
telling herself that that would okay too. Now he’s telling her that he wants
more than that, and she is finally able to think that this might be a real
relationship.
“I want to be with you too,” she finally says. “Wherever this goes, I just want
to see what happens.” She can’t see his face right now, but she can almost
sense him smiling at her as he rests a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m happy to hear it, Emilia,” he replies. “I know that I probably implied we
haven’t talked enough, but now I’m starting to feel like we’ve talked too much.
I wouldn’t want to keep you out too late today, but time is ticking.”
He doesn’t have to tell her twice, and she is eager to accept an invitation
back into his bedroom.
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