Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8042833.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      ツキウタ。_|_Tsukiuta.
  Relationship:
      Mutsuki_Hajime/Yayoi_Haru, Yayoi_Haru/Mutsuki_Hajime
  Character:
      Mutsuki_Hajime, Yayoi_Haru, Original_Characters, Shimotsuki_Shun, Six
      Gravity_(Tsukiuta), Procellarum_(Tsukiuta), Tsukigami_(Producers)
  Additional Tags:
      Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alpha/Alpha, Rated_up_due_to_the_content_of
      the_4th_chapter_(though_they're_nothing_too_hardcore...), Alpha/Omega
  Series:
      Part 1 of 幸せの形
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-09-15 Updated: 2017-06-29 Chapters: 8/? Words: 13202
****** 幸せの形 ******
by sherenium
Summary
     What the body desires is an Omega.
     What the heart desires is an Alpha.
Notes
     自己満足のために書きました（何故此処にじはるはこんなにマイナーでしょう）。閲覧・ブクマ・評価・コメントありがたいです。励みになります。
     Written for self-satisfaction and non-profit purpose. Thank you for
     the hits, bookmarks, and kudos. They're very encouraging.
***** 春視点-壱- *****
.
.
.
In this world, aside from the main kind of gender classification, which
separated humans into two categories - male and female -, another
classification exists. It classifies humans into three groups: Alpha, Beta, and
Omega.
Beta, taking up 90 percent of human population, is what anyone would call a
normal human. Alpha consisted of about 5 percent of the population, and they
are what would be considered as geniuses, blessed with talents that made most
seem superior than others. And the remaining ones are Omega, who, while also
possessing excellent skills just like Alpha, has the special characteristic in
that even the males are capable of giving birth when copulating with Alpha.
Once per three months, although it may varies in each individuals, Omega would
experience a period similar to animals' mating season, which is commonly
referred as Heat. An Omega in Heat would release pheromones to tempt the Alphas
in their surroundings to copulate with them, rendering both sides to submitting
to their carnal desires. For this reason, Omega tended to be discriminated.
Precisely because of that reason as well, most countries would hold physical
examinations to determine 'second gender' when children reach the tender age of
13 or 14, right before most Omegas would experience their first Heat. The
result of the examination would be revealed only to the person themselves, so
to not cause unnecessary disturbance, although thereafter the person is free to
reveal it to his surroundings.
Japan also adopted the custom. The government made middle schools hold annual
physical examinations in order to data their youths, so they didn't need to
bother to go to hospitals by themselves.
And, in my school, that physical examination was held today.
.
.
.
The bell chimed, signaling the end of the all scholastic activities as of that
day. Although to be honest, considering that the lesson of that day have all
been replaced with physical examination sessions, the ringing tune holds no
significant meaning to the ears of the students, who mostly had finished
packing their school bag and seemed eager to leave the campus premise.
I'm one of those students. Leaving my desk, I approached my best friend, one of
the few students who didn't seem to be in any rush in leaving the classroom.
"Hajime, let's go?"
"Aa. Wait a second."
Mutsuki Hajime, his full name, keep at his leisure pace while tidying his desk,
which I don't mind at all. Once he's done, we left the classroom together.
During the whole time it took us until we left through the school gate, there
were students greeting us from right and left. Well, they mostly greeted Hajime
though, since they're his fans.
Once we got far enough from the school premise, I opened a conversation by
commenting on that fact. "They seem to be far more energetic than usual, huh?
Hajime's serv- fans."
"Isn't it just because we practically have no lessons today? Also, you were
about to call them 'servants' again, weren't you? How many times do I have to
tell you to stop it?"
I laughed and said my apology, though I don't really feel guilty for being
caught having a little slip in my speech. After all, it's not really wrong to
call them that. Some of them had proclaimed that they are really willing to
serve Hajime and do any of his bidding. That's how powerful Hajime's charisma
is. Really...
"... just as expected from the one hailed as 'Leader of the Alphas', right?"
"... I told you not to call me that either." Heaving a sigh, Hajime sounded
like he was tired of responding to my usual teasing. "Beside, to give me title
like that before the examination even held today, you guys sure are getting
ahead of yourself."
"But, the result of the examination must've stated that you're an Alpha,
right?"
"... Well, yeah."
"See?" I let out a soft chuckle. Hajime can't possibly be anything but an
Alpha. Not only that he has a naturally overflowing charisma, but he also has a
charming appearance, brilliant mind, and is strong both physically and
mentally.
Flawless? No.
He just looks like a flawless person. But I know that he's imperfect. Just like
me, just like any others. That's why he doesn't like to be treated like he's
far superior than anyone else.
"... So? How was your result?"
"Mm? What do you think they diagnosed me as?"
"... I really don't like that side of yours."
"Ahaha~! Sorry, sorry. I'll say it, so don't sulk, Hajime."
"Am not."
"Sure~... -ouch! Hey, no violence!" Taking a few steps to maintain a distance
so that Hajime's quick jab wouldn't be able to reach my side again, I then
continued, "Geez, I'll say it, I'll say it. They diagnosed me as an Alpha. Just
like Hajime is."
"... Oh."
"Hm? You don't sound surprised."
"Why should I? Those guys been saying that you ought to be an Alpha too, for
everything you've achieved so far."
Being told that, I laughed evasively. I don't think I've done anything worthy
that makes me look like an Alpha. I mean, if they're talking about my academic
records, even a Beta would be able to do the same as long as they're working
hard.
"But, I'm glad that I'm not an Omega, at the very least."
"What, you're afraid of discrimination against Omega?"
"Mm, there's that too, but there's something more important."
Our steps came to a halt as we arrived at a level crossing, which have their
gates closed for a train is about to cross. Hajime used the chance to tilt his
head, looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a gaze that said he's expecting a
direct answer. I couldn't help but smile as I gave him the answer he wanted,
"If I'm an Omega, there will be days when I won't be able to see Hajime. It'll
be lonely."
Hajime stared at me wide eyed then, looking as if he didn't expect such answer
coming from me. But, I'm just being honest. Since I befriend Hajime, my days
have become much more fun. On weekends, I would found myself looking forward
for Monday to come so I can meet Hajime again, or perhaps try to get him to
hangout with me to somewhere. I've gotten way too comfortable being around
Hajime that I'm sure I would feel lonely if I can't see him for a long time.
"... I see."
It took some time, but Hajime finally responded again. He had his gaze set back
to the road across the level crossing, which was blocked from our view thanks
to the passing train. I thought of teasing him again for making such a dry
response, but from the corner of my eyes, I could saw a smile lingered on his
face as he opened his mouth slightly as if saying something.
The sound of the train that passed before us made it almost impossible, but I
managed to hear him say faintly,
"Thank you, Haru."
The warning bell's ringing finally died down and the gates were lifted up to
allow people to pass, but I was standing still that Hajime had to call out to
me to snap me out of my reverie.
"Ha~ru? What are you doing, zoning out like that? Let's go."
"... Ah, yeah. Sorry!"
Crossing the railroad, we resumed our walk to reach home. This time, Hajime
opened the conversation, with a different topic entirely. I glanced at his face
and the smile I saw earlier had gone.
.
.
.
Hey, Hajime?
Is it alright to think that you'll also feel lonely if I were not around?
***** 始視点-壱- *****
It'll be lonely, he said.
Though he might meant that hewill feel lonely, I feel that he's also implying
that Iwill also feel lonely if we can't see each other as often as we usually
do.
I would never say it to him, but he might be right.
.
.
.
"Eh?"
From the corner of my eyes, I could see Haru, whose desk was right beside mine,
stopped moving altogether while in the middle of getting the books needed for
our next lesson: Chemistry. When I turned to look at his expression, he was
frowning deeply as if thinking hard about something.
The reason was most likely because of whatever it was currently displayed on
his phone screen. I heard its familiar mechanical bird chirp sound earlier,
which is the tone he set for incoming messages. So it's only natural to think
that he got startled because of whatever message was sent to him.
I didn't have to ask, because soon enough he put his cellphone back into his
blazer's pocket and told me, "Hajime, I got called to attend something at the
Student Council Room. Sorry, but can I have you take my books together with you
to the lab?"
"Got it. But, so suddenly? What happened?"
"I'm not sure either, but it sounds urgent. I guess I'll just see."
"... I see. Work hard, Mr. Staff Officer."
Haru responded to my teasing with a light laughter, as he usually would, and
cut our conversation with, "Thanks, I'll be going then~" before hurriedly
leaving the class.
I watched his back until it was completely out of my sight before heaving a
small sigh and took his books and pencil case. But just as I was about to head
out for the laboratory, some of my classmates approached me.
"Mutsuki-kun, I saw Yayoi-kun leaving in a hurry. Is he going to come late for
the next lesson?" One of them asked, walking a little behind me.
"Yeah, some urgent Student Council business, apparently."
"I see! Ah, those are Yayoi-kun's right? Let me carry it for you!"
"... There's no need for that. They're just some books."
They were trying to but me, but I just ignored them as I keep walking.
I really don't like it when they started treating me like this. 'Leader of the
Alphas'... what a stupid title. Just because of I'm a member of the Mutsuki
family, they quickly assumed that I am an Alpha (which isn't wrong, but it was
confirmed only after the examination held on my last year in middle school) and
saw me as a some sort of figure to respect and serve. I personally don't think
I did anything to deserve their loyalty or service, so it's making me feel
uncomfortable.
But I guess this is better than when I just started in middle school. Back
then, the students around me were much more reserved when they tried to
interact with me. Sometimes it was as if they were afraid that if they do the
smallest mistake, I would do something that can end their life.
Then I befriended Haru.
He was only being careful at first, and it didn't take much time until he
talked to me casually, just like how he did to his other friends. Starting from
that, others who watched us interacted seemed to gather their courage and began
talking to me as well. Though, unlike Haru, they never get past that certain
wall.
I heaved a small sigh once I reached my seat in the lab. Placing Haru's
belongings on the chair next to mine to mean that the seat is reserved, I then
rested my chin on one hand. The guys that had followed me earlier had also sit
down on chairs available, finally giving me some space alone.
"..."
There were still a few minutes before the bell rang and the lesson start, but
somehow I feel too restless to wait for it. Leaving my seat, I thought of
washing my face in the toilet and let one of the classmates that sat next to
the lab's door about it, just in case the teacher came before I return. The
closest toilet in that corridor was quite far from the Chemistry Lab after all.
It was also the most quiet toilet of all because people rarely visit it due to
its distance with other rooms. I thought I would be able to relax a bit in
there before returning and sitting through the class.
Entering the room, I intended to go straight to where the handwash faucets are,
but found myself stopped walking when I saw someone is actually in there.
"... Mutsuki...?"
I recognized him as one of Haru's seniors in the Student Council, holding the
position of Treasurer within the body. He looked so shocked to see me here, but
in all honesty, I think I should be the one who is surprised. Haru got called
to attend something in the Council's room, so I thought the other members would
also be there, so why is he here? While wondering about that, I noticed that he
doesn't look well; his face was all flushed and his breaths a bit ragged. He
was also gripping onto the faucet tightly, almost looks like using it to
support himself to keep standing straight.
"... Mutsuki... why are you, here...?"
"... I can ask the same to you, Senpai. If you don't feel well, you should've
go to the school infirmary."
"... Infir... mary?" He repeated the word as if it's an unfamiliar term for
him. It seemed for some reason his brain was processing it rather slowly, and
once he managed to understand what I was talking about, he smiled. "... Ah,
yes... infirmary..."
Something's wrong with that smile. Or with him as a whole. He let go of his
grip on the faucet and turned to face me properly, with that smile still
hanging on his lips, and started approaching me. I tried to back away, but
suddenly he had grabbed my arm, holding me still as he close the distance
between us more and more.
"Shall we, go...? Their bed is... comfortable..."
"... Huh?"
What is he talking about?
I know that it's comfortable; I once faked my condition to be allowed to rest
in there, and ended up getting scolded by Haru who found out about it later.
But that's not what I wanted to say. He should also know that the lunch break
will end soon and classes would start again. Is he asking me to ditch my class
together with him?
"Sen-"
Just as I opened my mouth to ask him, I felt him letting my arm go, but as an
exchange, he now wrapped his arms around me. I immediately stiffened, not only
because I wasn't expecting this turn of event, but also because I smelled a
strange scent emanated from him. I thought it was the cologne he's wearing, but
when I realized that my body grew hot after inhaling more of it, and together
with what he said afterward, I realized what it actually was.
"Hey, Mutsuki... you're... an Alpha, right?"
He whispered right next to my ear and I found myself shivering.
"You... don't have an Omega yet, do you...? Wanna do it with me...? Sex, that
is."
What is he saying!?
In the first place, this is a school. A public place. There's no way that I
would do it here. And more importantly, isn't it normal knowledge for one to
have sex only with the one they love? I don't have that sort of feelings for
him, so I can't possibly engage in any sexual act with him!
... But, even though my conscience says so, my instinct as an Alpha says
otherwise. It's telling me to jump into his invitation. It doesn't need to wait
until we reach the infirmary or somewhere far more appropriate either. Here is
fine, as long as this strange yearning and excitement to plant my seeds can be
satisfied――
"Hajime!?"
My hands, who had started slipping around the Omega's back out of my will, came
to a halt as soon as that voice reached my ears. Before I could turn my head,
though, I already found someone forcefully pried me away from the senior and
shoved me against someone else. Against Haru.
.
.
.
***** 春視点-弐- *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
.
.
.
"Pres, you don't have to be so rough."
"If I didn't do that, they'll keep sticking to each other. I'm sure you
wouldn't want that either, Yayoi."
I could only smile sheepishly at the response that Ichinose-senpai, my senior
in the Student Council who held a position as its Chairman, gave to my little
reprimand. He had our Treasurer, Houjou-senpai, who is of smaller built than
him, slumped over his shoulder. I saw that Houjou-senpai was struggling
slightly, apparently finding his current position uncomfortable, yet Ichinose-
senpai doesn't budge in the slightest.
"Ichinose-kun, at least be more delicate with how you carry me...!"
"Shut up, Houjou. Do you even realize that you nearly caused a great trouble
here? Just grit your teeth and deal with it!"
"But! I feel rubbed all over...!"
Houjou-senpai still struggled and whined some more, but it fall to deaf ears as
Ichinose-senpai turned his attention back to me. Or maybe I should say, to
Hajime, who is slumped against me as I had my arms circled around his stomach,
keeping him standing up.
"Sorry for the trouble, Mutsuki. I'll be taking him away though. The bell have
rang, so you should return to your class... after dealing with 'that'."
While watching the two seniors left the toilet, I feel that Hajime flinched
slightly within my hold and, without needing to peek at his face, I could tell
that his face is turning red from embarrassment because of what Ichinose-senpai
said. Of course he would be embarrassed. Anyone would, in fact, if the fact
that they're sexually aroused is pointed out quite boldly by someone else.
Hajime recovered quickly from his momentary inability to react promptly to the
situations and tried to get out of my hold, so I let him go. Without looking at
me, he approached the handwash faucet and gripped on it to support himself
instead. I could hear him trying to regulate his breathing, probably trying to
regain his composure again, but it seemed it wasn't doing well because from the
mirror hanging on the wall before him, I can see his cheeks still slightly
flushed.
"... Haru."
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"
"Why, you ask... the meeting ended and so I went to the lab, but I didn't see
Hajime sitting in the class when I looked through the windows, so..."
"... And that senpai?"
"Ichinose-senpai? Apparently Houjou-senpai texted him, asking for help so he
can reach infirmary safely and have his Suppressants. I already intended to
check the toilet in the first place, so we ended up coming here together."
Hajime breathed a soft "I see" while combing his hair up. His complexion as
reflected on the mirror doesn't look like it improved in anyway, so I started
to feel a little worried. Did he inhaled too much of Houjou-senpai's
pheromones?
"Hajime? Maybe you should relieve yourself now, or else we'll miss the class."
"I'm doing precisely that right now."
Raising my eyebrows, I tilted my head slightly at his answer. "But, you're just
standing there."
"And your point is?"
"... Shouldn't you... you know..." It feels a little awkward to say it bluntly.
But, shouldn't Hajime be able to figure out what I'm meant to say without
needing me to spell it out for hi-
Oh, wait a second.
"... Hajime?" Taking one step closer, my gaze was fixated at his reflection.
"Could it be that... you don't know how to masturbate?"
Seeing his eyes widened slightly at the notion and the cheeks that grew even
redder, I know that my guess is right. He must've heard the word and knew the
function, for our teacher had mentioned it once in a lesson, but that was all.
Surely no one had ever brought up the topic when he's around, at least not the
circle of friends that he has. Though it's a fact that we don't really have any
chance to talk about that sort of thing, it's also another fact that our
friends are still holding back when interacting with Hajime, enough to make
them avoid dirty talks that boys of our age would usually have.
Heaving a small sigh, I thought that I'm partly guilty in making Hajime turned
out this way. So, to take up my responsibility, I offered him,
"I'll teach you."
This time, we're not looking at each other through what's reflected on the
mirror. Hajime turned around, looking at me with wide eyes and expression that
said 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about'. I just repeated what I said earlier
with a sheepish smile, with a few more words.
"I'll teach you how to masturbate. Come here? Hajime."
.
.
.
Chapter End Notes
     The next chapter contains sexual contents, so please be warned when
     continuing to read. Readers who are below legal age, please skip
     straight to the 5th chapter. The same for readers who doesn't like
     implicit sexual depictions.
***** 二人の視点-零- *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter contains sexual depictions. Although it might not be up
     to your standard of something erotic, it still counts. Readers under
     the legal age or those who doesn't like this sort of scene, please
     don't continue reading and wait for the next chapter.
     You have been warned.
.
.
.
"... Hh, ngh..."
I shivered the moment I heard the noise, which came from my own mouth. It feels
weird, like it's not my own voice. But my head is still working enough to know
that I had let the sound slipped, enough to curse the turn of events that made
me ended up in this sort of situation.
It started with me wanting to have some alone time before class started, then I
met a senior who entered a Heat period and tried to hide in the toilet. I
almost lost myself due to his pheromone, but Haru and another senior found us
before we could do anything indecent in the school grounds, and the Omega
senior had been collected away.
Though, right now it feels like I got out of the frying pan and jumped into the
fire.
"Hh, fuh... nh, hh..."
"Hajime? Don't close your eyes. Look properly so you remember how to do it."
"Shut, up..."
Right now, I'm at the mercy of Haru's hands. Literally.
Having been affected by the senior's pheromone, though I'd regained my
composure, my body is still excited. I thought of calming myself down with my
sheer will, but it seemed impossible to do that without missing the whole
class. There, Haru made an offer that made me wanted to beat him up there and
now.
He's teaching me how to masturbate, and he's going straight with on hand
practice.
I'm ashamed to say that despite my age, I don't know what boys my age would do
to relieve themselves when this sort of situation happened to them. In the
first place, I don't usually experience erection aside from when I wake up in
the morning and cold shower is how I usually dealt with it. I don't have
interest to look up about that sort of thing either. Haru and the others don't
talk about this kind of topic during our daily conversations too. So this is
really my first time masturbating.
To be honest, the thought of letting Haru teach me about it made me want to
refuse him flat out. But considering that I don't want to miss the class, I
don't have any choice but to kill my pride and accepted his offer.
Hiding in one of the toilet stalls, we stood facing each other. Me, with my
back against the wall and pants half undone, couldn't help but close my eyes as
I feel Haru's large hand moved up and down my erection. He seemed to have given
up asking me to watch, so he'd been repeating something else instead.
"Hajime, remember the feel."
"Is this where it feels good? Please nod."
"If I'm being too rough and it hurts, say so, okay?"
Really, he's so noisy and persistent. I want to hit him so he'll just stop
asking about every little things, but I used one of my hand to cover my mouth
to muffle my voice and the other to prop myself so I can keep standing still
despite my trembling legs.
I should feel disgusted, because not only that the one who touched me is an
Alpha, just like me, but he's also my best friend. But the excitement keeps
building up and up, and my mind was forced to concentrate on that alone.
I feel that I can't think of anything else. Can't stop the voice that leaks.
Can't escape from this alien sensation.
"--A, Ha, ru... -'s... coming, out...,"
"Don't hold back, Hajime. Let it go."
"-Ngh...! A, nn, haa..., Haru... -a, aaahh...!!"
.
.
.
... It's weird.
Not talking about the feeling having my fingers dirtied by someone else's
semen, though it does feels funny, but more to the fact that the erection in my
hand doesn't go limp at all even after it had ejaculated its content. As far as
I know, although I only have my personal experience to base it on, one release
should be enough to make it settle down.
Does it means that once isn't enough to get Hajime out of his high-strung
state? Is it because the pheromone that hit him was too strong? Or maybe it's
part of being a high quality Alpha?
Whatever the reason is, I'm hoping that it doesn't mean Hajime needs an Omega
to satiate it, at the very least.
With that hope in mind, I began massaging the shaft again, intending to make
him ejaculate again. Apparently Hajime wasn't expecting it, because his
breathing hitched and with a flustered voice (how rare! Well, today seems to be
a day full of rare events, I guess), he asked, "What are you doing-!?"
"What, you ask... Hajime, you realize that you're still hard, right? I think
you need to release it some more."
"... Doesn't mean that you have to do it again!"
"Ah, you want to do it yourself? Alright then."
Letting Hajime's erection go, I turned and grabbed the toilet paper, wiping off
the semen that dirtied my hand. At the same time, I kept my eyes on Hajime, who
seemed to be hesitant in touching it himself, but eventually began stroking the
shaft anyway.
... It's weird.
I should be ashamed for staying and watching Hajime masturbating. Maybe even
disgusted because we're both men and we're both an Alpha. The thought of
excusing myself from the stall and wait for him outside while at the same time
keeping people away from the toilet did occur to me, but somehow my body just
refused to do that.
I found myself unable to tear my gaze away from the sight of Hajime
masturbating in front of me.
Anyone would agree that Hajime has a good looks even on their first encounter
with him. Cool and stoic, probably would be the words they associate with him
the most. Then probably an impression of a prim and proper young man who would
grow to be reliable person with a bright future. I also shared their opinion,
but, right now, there's another word far more appropriate to describe his
current appearance.
Erotic.
Hajime's neck area, now slightly more exposed than usual because I thought it
could give him more freedom for breathing and relaxing, is now trickled with
sweats. The sweats enhanced the appealing pink blush that had visibly been
coloring his skin for some time now. His breathing had grown ragged again as he
continued stroking himself, and accompanying it was soft moans that keep
slipping out despite his attempt to muffle them with his free hand.
If only Hajime isn't an Alpha, but an Omega with pheromones, I think I would've
lost myself completely and jumped him right here and now.
Hang in there, me ― as I tried to strengthen my will, I heard Hajime calling
out my name.
"...... Ha, ru...?"
I feel myself shuddering slightly for that alone. Swallowing my own saliva, I
tried to sound normal when replying,
"-Yeah? Hajime."
"... You're... hard, too......"
"Eh-?"
Following the direction of Hajime's half-lidded gaze, I looked down and
realized that I'm having an erection as well that it made my pants tented out.
In that moment, I feel like punching myself. I couldn't believe that my body
would react just because I noticed how erotic Hajime currently is.
... But, maybe it can't be helped. After all, I...―
Wait.
Did I just heard the sound of a clicking metal? Also, suddenly it doesn't feel
all too tight down there. Guess it's because my pants have been pulled down
thanks to Hajime unbuckling my belt and... waaaaaiiitt a second there!!
"Ha-Hajime!?" I immediately grabbed his wrists before he can pull my boxer
down. "What do you think you're doing!?"
"... What, you ask? You need to masturbate too, right? Just think of it as me
returning a favor for your 'lesson'."
"It's okay, I don't need the help!"
"There's no need to hold back like that."
"I'm not, okay? I'm not!"
I tried to keep my boxer on, but because despite having smaller figure than me,
has greater strength than me, he eventually managed to pull it down, exposing
my erection to the cold air and made me shivered slightly. Looking at his face,
Hajime's face, which I had thought to be erotic until some time ago, is now
tinted with hints of mischief.
... Really, Hajime's competitive mindset can be rather troublesome, at times.
"... I get it, I get it." Heaving a small sigh, a raised my hands to the air,
as if declaring my defeat. "Please make it feels good, Hajime."
"Aa, just leave it to me."
Hajime sounded pretty satisfied with me giving up resisting to his persistent
urging. He no longer leaning against the wall, but taking one step to stand
closer to me, which allowed me to have a closer look at his expression as he
began awkwardly stroking my erection. His cheeks were a little flushed,
probably due to the embarrassment of touching someone else's sexual organ, but
the looks in his eyes said that he's determined to bring me the pleasure like
the one he attained earlier. And like this, I'm once again reminded that Hajime
is an excellent student, because only after one lesson from me, he's able to
remember how and where to stroke to make the pleasant feeling built up.
"... Haru?"
"...- what is it? Hajime."
"Feels good, right?"
Our eyes met when he voiced the question. Those amethyst-colored irises were
searching me, almost as if he's anxious, while waiting for me to tell him my
honest opinion. My lips just automatically formed a smile as I give him my
answer,
"It is, Hajime. Continue, please?"
I could see a glint of relief in Hajime's eyes when he heard my reply. He
nodded then, continuing to massage me in the right places. I started to pant
heavily, sensing that my climax is coming soon. I had just about to close my
eyes to relish in the feeling when my eyes caught sight of Hajime had started
touching himself again. It seems that he's also reaching his limit.
... And that made a good idea popped in my head.
"... Hajime? Excuse me for a bit."
"... What, is it, Ha-!?"
Without waiting for his approval, I placed one hand around Hajime's waist,
pulling him closer to the point that we're pressed against each other. His hand
movement stopped almost immediately then as he looked at me, clearly baffled.
Before he could demand me to answer whatever questions he might have in mind, I
already slipped my other hand between us, put it over his (which, is the moment
I realized that his hand is smaller than mine) and engulfed our shafts all at
once, then began stroking it together. It made Hajime let out a moan,
effectively shutting out the words he might want to say.
"Let's finish up together like this, okay?"
I was met with his sharp glare, which felt much weaker than the one he usually
shot me with and just made me smile widely. I'm sure he wanted to chide me for
it, but this sweet feeling that slowly overwhelmed us must've forced him to
focus on enjoying it.
"Ha, Haru... it's... coming, again, ah-"
"Haji, me......-"
It seems we managed to ejaculate at the same time, as I felt Hajime's semen
gushed out at the same time I let mine out. Probably tired after ejaculating
twice in a row for his first masturbation experience, I felt Hajime leaned
weakly against me, with his head resting on my shoulder. I let him be, gently
rubbing his back with my hand that was circling around his waist as if trying
to sooth him. All the while, I took some step backwards so I can rest my back
against the wall behind me.
.
.
.
There's a whiff of sweet scent as we immersed ourselves in the aftermath. A
sweet, sweet scent much more comforting and pleasant than the pheromone of any
Omegas we had, and would come in contact with.
***** 春視点-参- *****
After that, Hajime refused to talk to me until all classes ended. Not that I
can't guess his reason for doing so, which is why I didn't persistently try to
talk him up. At least, until it's time to return home.
Since we started high school, Hajime's 'subordinates' had come to brave
themselves to take friendly approach. Not only that they'll try to chat him up
on breaks and took the initiatives to invite him to join them for group
assignments, now and then they'll also accompany him until some way when
returning home.
... To me, they still look like simple followers, as always, though.
Anyway. At least they still have enough sensitivity to know when Hajime doesn't
want their company. Today, they parted ways right after they left the school
gate. I immediately grabbed the chance, approaching Hajime and patted his
shoulder to get his attention. He made an unpleasant expression when he saw
that it's me, but I wouldn't back down just because he's making that face.
"Hajime. I think we need to talk."
"I don't think we need to talk."
"Even so, I want us to sort it out as soon as possible."
"..."
"Please? I don't want you to give me the cold treatment any longer than this."
He didn't stop walking, so I deliberately matched my walking pace with his. I'm
determined that we have to clear it out today. If not, I have the feeling that
it'll take longer for us to mend things. Because Hajime didn't give me any
response, I thought that he's being stubborn on not wanting to talk to me for
the time being, so I tried to think up what to say next - but before I could
come up with anything, he suddenly said,
"Not here. Let's find somewhere quiet."
Blinking a few times, I then found myself smiling widely. Hajime is right, we
can't simply talk about it while walking on our road home; there are students
heading down the same route, and neither of us wish for outsiders to catch
about our conversation.
So we stopped over at a small park near the train station, our usual after-
school hang out place when we don't really have any place that we'd like to
visit before going home. Usually we would just do random talks while watching
over some kids playing together, but today those kids aren't around, which is a
good thing, because it'll be awkward to talk about the matter with the voice of
children playing merrily in the background.
Sitting on swings, there was only the sounds of train from the nearby station
passing by to accompany the silence that lasted until I opened the
conversation.
"First, I'm sorry for what I did."
With the corner of my eyes, I could see Hajime turned his head slightly to look
at me. I couldn't quite tell what kind of expression he had then, because I
tried to keep my gaze fixed at the ground beneath my feet as I continued,
"Even though I said I would teach you, I shouldn't have touched you all way too
familiarly like that, and.in the end make you feel uncomfortable with my
presence. I won't touch you so casually again, not without your permission, and
definitely not . But, please, Hajime,"
I gulped down the nervousness that suddenly appeared as I was about to mention
the word, the thing that I really don't want to happen.
"... please don't hate me."
Silence once again filled the atmosphere around us. I still couldn't bring
myself to lift my gaze, so I just tried to listen to any sound that Hajime may
make. His voice, or the sound of his fabrics rustling if he decides to get up
from the swing. But the first sound that I finally heard coming from him is the
sound of him heaving a sigh.
"You're thinking too far again, Haru. I wouldn't hate you for that."
"But, you were trying to avoid me, right?"
"... Not because of what you think."
"Then why?"
Finally turning my head to look at him, I saw that it was Hajime's turn to cast
his gaze down. He didn't immediately answer to my question, probably thinking
how to put it into proper words. So I waited and waited, patiently and not
averting my gaze away from him even for just a second. When he seemed to be
finally ready to explain, he closed his eyes and began,
"I don't find your touches as something uncomfortable. In fact, I... quite like
it."
...... I think I just misheard something.
Did Hajime just admitted that he liked what I did to him-?
"Then, there's no reason to avoid me, right? If you're fine with it."
Before I could stop myself, I had blurted out those words. I was just about to
regret saying them, worried that Hajime would notice the little bits of
happiness that slipped in them, but it seemed that he didn't notice at all
because he then continued,
"It's precisely because I'm feeling okay with it. Haru, you're my friend, and
also a fellow Alpha. Logically, I shouldn't find it pleasant having you touched
me intimately, because this body is meant to seek pleasure from Omega. Not from
an Alpha. Yet, I felt that rather than having an Omega, like your senpai,
touched me too familiarly, I'd rather have you take their place instead."
Hajime stopped for a moment to let out a dry laugh.
"Don't you find it weird? Because I do. And I feel that I need to do something
about it, or else I'll put unnecessary burden onto you. That's why, for the
time being, let's put some distance between us, Ha-"
"-I don't want to."
Again, when I realized I had verbalized what I had in mind. This time, I don't
care enough to worry about the consequences of my words. Without letting
Hajime, who finally looked at me again, say his arguments, I let my words, my
thoughts, flow.
"I don't want us to put up some distance, even if just for a short while.
Didn't you remember, Hajime? I once told you that I'll feel lonely if I can't
see you for days. Now, you made that kind of request. It will feel even worse,
Hajime, because even though I can see you in school, you won't let me talk to
you like how we usually do."
Hajime's violet-colored eyes widened a fraction at my counter-arguments. But
I'm not done yet. For Hajime, the strong, independent and reliable leader-
figure Hajime, I always feel the need to stress this sort of point over and
over again.
"Besides, why do you try to solve problem all by yourself again, Hajime?
Haven't you learned that you can rely on others, or at least in me, when
there's something that bothers you? More importantly, this one concerns me as
well. So you need to involve me... no, please let me get involved, Hajime."
I ended my little preaching there and saw that Hajime seemed hesitant still.
The eyes that had been fixed on me during the whole speech once again wandered
to the ground. No words were exchanged between us for the following few
minutes. I was expecting him to be stubborn and shooed away my wish to help him
out on the matter, but then, after he closed his eyes and heaved a sigh, he
said,
"You really are too nice for your own good."
Saying that, Hajime then looked at me again. This time, all traces of
hesitations have left him. With chin slightly tilted up and the usual
brilliance returned to his violet eyes, he had once again delved into his
confident, charismatic persona.
"... If you've resolved yourself for that, then I'll have you exert your
everything to help me out in this. As a man, you won't back down on your own
words, right? Haaru."
Hearing the familiar tone that he loved to use when calling my name, I couldn't
help but to chuckle. Really, despite saying that he doesn't like to be treated
like someone superior, now and then he would deliberately posed as the mighty
Alpha that he is, who wouldn't let anyone say no to him.
"As you wish, Leader."
In any case, I'm glad that the tension that we had now have melted. No need to
worry about distancing ourselves, or the need to constrain ourselves for the
matter.
Our relationship might have changed slightly, in that we're not simple best
friends anymore, but we were able to spend days together just like we usually
do ― happy and content with each other's presence. People around us doesn't
seem to notice the change, but perhaps that's for the best. After all, even if
we're okay with it, we're both aware that it's something that betrays the
normalcy within our society. I'd like for our relationship to last as long as
possible, and at the same time hoping that Hajime shared the same feeling.

.
.
.

But, a wishful thinking might be really just that. A mere wish.

.
.
.

Three years have passed since then, and reality decided to remind us not to get
carried away with our dreamy wishes. It wants us to remember, that as Alphas,
we're not meant to last happily together.
Because we're meant to be with an Omega, whether we'd like it or not.
... Hajime, he found the Omega destined to be his Mate.
***** 始視点-弐- *****
Haru proved himself to be a man of his words.
Well, not that I ever knew him breaking promises.
Anyway, during the whole three years of high school, he really helped me out in
dealing with my natural instinct as an Alpha. Each time we chanced upon an
Omega who suddenly came in Heat in the school grounds, he would stopped and
dragged me away from the scene before I could lost myself to the pheromone's
intoxicating effect. I remembered feeling a little frustrated at how Haru seems
to have higher resistance against the pheromone. Later I would learn that it's
because the difference of 'quality' between us, in the meaning that I, as a
'high quality' Alpha has higher sexual drive, and thus is easier to get
affected by an Omega's pheromone.
As I thought, the 'Leader of the Alphas' thing doesn't mean anything good.
Haru's help isn't limited to that. Even as our relationship got slightly
altered from simple best friends, without changing his attitude against me in
the slightest, he remained by my side. He helped me stay connected with my
surroundings by making me seem approachable, as usual. He helped me learned
things that I've never been aware of before. He continued to help even after we
graduated and moved onto the university, and started the life as part of an
idol group.
It might sound quite abrupt, but, yeah, the two of us got scouted into a talent
agency.
It all began because I, on one of the cold days in my last year as a high
school student, found a rabbit collapsing in a park. I had Haru helped me
taking it to a vet and it led us to meeting the rabbit's owner, a producer and
president of a talent agency called Tsukino Production. I don't know what made
him taken interest in us, but he offered us to become idols for his agency. He
didn't pester or coax us as much as anyone would possibly think, telling us to
take our time and consider about it carefully. Though, in the end I didn't take
much time to decide that I'm taking him up on the offer.
It's not like the idea of wanting to be an idol or celebrities ever crossed me
before. But precisely because it never crossed me that I became interested to
know what it feels like. It seems like a world unknown to me and, honestly, to
the me of that time, who feels lost as I've yet to know what I want to do in
the future, the possibility of widening my view of the world and experiencing
things that I'd never imagined before feels much more challenging than simply
going to study in college for years, graduate, and help out with my family's
business.
Haru accepted the offer as well, and we ended up being put together as part of
a six person idol group. The other four members consist of one Omega and three
Betas, and so at first they were a bit intimidated by me and Haru. But, just as
usual, Haru easily made them open up to him and at the same time let them know
that it's fine to approach me casually.
He continued to keep his words, helping me out on various things, to the point
that fellow group members dubbed him as my adviser. Since we had to move into a
dorm that the company prepared for their idols and the fact that they set us up
as partners, the amount of time that I spent with Haru increased compared to
when we were just normal students. His presence came to feel so natural to me,
that I once ended up thinking that maybe, just maybe, it's okay if I don't end
up with an Omega, as long as I can keep feeling the comfort his presence gave
me.
The world seemed to be against that, though, as I was then lead to meet
Shimotsuki Shun.
.
.
.
"How do you do? I'm the one appointed as the leader of Procellarum, Shimotsuki
Shun."
I found myself unable to tear away my gaze from this white person standing
before me, even though the other members who came together with him started
introducing themselves.
Shortly after our unit debuted as an idol group named Six Gravity, the
president called both Haru and I to meet him. Turned out that he wanted to
inform us that he planned to give our group a rival unit that will also belong
to the same agency, apparently so that we can raise each other's competitive
spirit while aiming for higher goals. We were given short info about the
members of said rival unit and was told to explain about it to our own members
when the time comes.
Then months after, the rival unit is finally ready to debut. They were named
Procellarum, and as our rival, they are going to start living in the same dorm.
Today seemed to be the day they finally gathered together, so they came to
visit us, who occupied the whole floor just one level beneath theirs, to greet
us and introduce themselves formally.
From the initial introduction that the president had for us, I knew that their
unit consists of one Beta, three Alphas, and two Omegas. Two of them had bonded
with each other since the very beginning, so we don't need to worry about him.
The other Omega, though...
I'd thought that I'll be fine as long as I can keep a safe distance with him,
but that hopeful wish turned out to be a futile one.
Because said Omega, Shimotsuki Shun, revealed something after the last member
of his unit had finished introducing himself:
"I'm so glad that I can finally meet you in person, Mutsuki Hajime. You see,
I'm actually a big fan of yours! I even accepted the offer to be an idol of
this agency because I heard that you're also going to start a career as an idol
here! I've been looking forward to the day where I'll finally be able to live
under the same roof as yours!"
The first impression of a cool young man that he had earlier got completely
destroyed as he continued talking with fiery passion reflected in his eyes. I'm
not sure how to react. No one had ever so directly and passionately conveyed
their admiration toward me like this. Even more, the more he talked, the more
he shifted from his initial position to get closer to me. As a reflex, I tried
to back away to keep a distance, but he quickly grabbed my hand and hold it
tight.
"... Let's get along well, shall we? Ha~ji~me."
For a moment, I found myself unable to respond to him. It no longer has
anything to do with my temporary bewilderment of having an enthusiastic fan
openly explaining how much he liked me. Rather, it was because as our hands
touched, something seemed to have clicked and a thought crossed my mind.
I'd like to claim him as mine.
I wasn't given much time to ponder about this weird phenomenon as his hand left
mine. Looking up, turned out that Kai, Shun's partner and the apparent sub-
leader of Procellarum, had grabbed Shun by the collar and pulled him away from
me.
"Don't rush it, Shun. Look, you made Hajime felt so creeped out that he
couldn't say anything to counter yours."
"Eeh~? But I didn't mean to creep him out. I just want to let him know how big
of a fan I am!"
"I'm sure he can clearly tell how much you like him, judging by how he
froze..."
"Ah, you're right. Hajime is freezing. How rare~"
The last comment managed to get me to loosen up.
Haru.
For a moment, I forgot that he was sitting beside me on the couch. When I
gained enough composure to look at him, he was tilting his head while peering
at my face, clearly looking amused. Though I feel mildly annoyed seeing that
grin and as a result deliver a light jab to his side, at the same time I also
feel relieved knowing that he's there. If, by any chance, that weird thought
suddenly popped again and prompted me to do something unwanted, Haru will
surely stop me, as usual.
Fortunately, this casual meeting between two rivaling groups came to an end
without that though ever came up again. The night has grown late, thus we
decided to call it a day. The oldest members of both groups ― me, Haru, Kai,
and Shun ― watched the younger ones leaving the common room one by one as we
exchanged words for the last time tonight.
Kai thanked me for agreeing to hold the get-together tonight, and apologized
since he thought he had been acting imposing with his request. I told him not
to mind it, because I wasn't all that busy anyway. He was about to end our
conversation and excused both Shun and himself to return to their floor, but
Shun interrupted his words.
"Kai, I still have something that I need to say to Hajime."
"You... have some mercy, won't you? Hajime must be tired too..."
"But it's important, since Hajime seems to mind about my nature as an Omega."
I stared at him in disbelief. Is he that sharp, or did I let it show on my
expression too much?
Kai seemed to understand that Shun really meant his words, so he heaved a sigh
and let his leader have his way. Now Shun put his whole attention to me. I
wondered what is he going to say, can't really read the meaning behind the
mysterious smile he had on him.
"Hajime, you see, I'm really, really happy to have finally be able to meet you.
I've always thought of you as a great man, to be able to keep up with your
studies and the workloads of an idol. To be able to see and talk to you
directly like this brings me such a joy, especially... since I know that you
are the Alpha that I'm supposed to bond with."
I felt that this time, I'm not the only one who froze up. Haru, who stood
beside me, and Kai, who stayed at Shun's side, also reacted the same.
What is he talking about-
-no, actually. I think I have a vague idea of what he wanted to say now.
"... Oi, Shun," Kai recovered earlier than anyone else, putting his hand on
Shun's shoulder as if ready to stop him if he's going to start approaching me
again. "You... could you be talking about the rumored 'Fated Mate'?"
Kai's words made me shivered. Fated Mate. I've heard that phrase once.
Mate. That is the term applied to Alpha who bonds with an Omega.
Once an Omega bonded with an Alpha, their pheromone would no longer affect
other Alphas. Even better, it's said that if the pair has a high rate of
compatibility, their bonding may result in the complete disappearance of the
pheromone and Heat period, which is a good thing for both parties. Thus it
becomes a common sense for Alpha to end up with an Omega. We'll be able to tell
when we found the person who has the highest compatibility with us, thanks to
our instinct. Romanticists would say that it's because that person is the one
destined for us, and thus they coined the phrase Fated Mate.
As I'm not a romantic one, I didn't really believe in that sort of thing. But I
was proven wrong.
Destiny leads me to meet Shimotsuki Shun. That sudden desire that appeared
within me the moment Shun held my hand must be the sign.
"That's not mere rumor, Kai," Shun calmly replied. "It's true. Maybe you find
it hard to believe, because you've yet to experience it yourself. But I can
tell. And I'm sure Hajime knows, too. Our natural instinct told us: 'we want to
claim each other'."
From the corner of my eyes, I can tell that Haru turned his head to look at me.
"... Hajime? Is it true?"
"... Yeah, I think it is."
The smile on Shun's face grew bigger as he glanced at Kai, as if he's going to
say "See~?" so proudly for having his words proven. Kai looked as if he was
thinking hard about something before he finally said, "So... what's next?
Should Haru and I leave both of you together now so you can perform the
bonding?"
"No? I wasn't saying that because I want us to bond right away, it's just that
I'd like to let Hajime know," glancing back at me, his eyes seemed to twinkle
mischievously, "you shouldn't let it bother you. Both of us had just started
walking on this path, and, just like you, Hajime, I'd like to enjoy it until
the time comes for us to decide. That is all."
Ending his sentence with a wink, he then let out a chuckle before saying that
he's done saying everything he wanted to say. He excused himself then, taking
Kai with him to climb up the stairs that connected Six Gravity's common room
with Procellarum's. Even after their figures had completely gone from my sight,
I still found myself staring at the spiral staircase until Haru called out for
me.
"... Hajime? Shall we return to our rooms? You must've been tired."
"... Aa. Let's."
Quietly, we left the room and headed down the hallways to our respective rooms.
No words were shared between us, until I stopped in front of my room's
entrance, and Haru, who had opened the door to his, spoke up again.
"... Hajime, remember that I'm always ready to be your discussion partner
whenever you need. Okay?"
Averting my gaze from my own door to where Haru is, I saw him smiling as he
ended his speech with a soft "Good night". He didn't bother to listen to my
response and immediately entered his room, closing the door quietly.
***** 春視点-肆- *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
I wonder at what point it started, but when one day I stopped to think about
it, I realized that I've fallen for Hajime.
... Or is it alright to call it as such?
At the very least, I know that while at first I, just like others, were
attracted to him due to his charisma, the reason I decided that I want to stay
by his side was because of other things that I discovered along the way of
befriending him all these years. Like his reactions when I teased him a little,
or how despite his seemingly know-it-all impression he's actually still pretty
innocent, or the peaceful smile he showed when watching children or small pets
frolicking happily in the day.
All the little things that I learned because I tried hard to make him open up
to me, probably have made me greedy and a little conceited, thinking that I'm
the only one who has the privilege to see those sides of him.
If that's not the case, then how to explain this bad feeling I have as I
watched Hajime looking comfortable being surrounded by the younger members of
our group and interacting with them so naturally?
"Haru-san? Why are you just standing by the doorway like that?"
The voice made me turned my head almost immediately. It was Aoi-kun, the only
Omega in our group and hailed as our group's good conscience. Though at first
he looked at me questioningly, his expression then turned into a concerned one
as he asked, "Is something wrong? You look a little grim."
... Oops. Not good, not good. I shouldn't have let it shown in my face.
"Nah, nothing's wrong. If anything, I guess I'm feeling bad because I need to
take Hajime away from Arata and the others for our job today."
"Aah..."
Seems like he believed in my words, because then he peeked into the common room
and let out a strained laugh. The other younger members ― Arata, Kakeru, and
Koi, are making Hajime play a video game with them. All four of them looks like
they're having fun, with Koi, the most skilled out of them, giving instructions
so the ones currently holding the controllers, Hajime and Arata, won't lose
against the enemy.
"Yes! Just like that! Keep it up, Hajime-san, Arata!"
"Ah! The defense is wide open! Chance, Hajime-san!"
"Yosh, Arata...!"
"Leave it to me!"
The four of them looked so entranced in the game that they practically ignored
me and Aoi-kun's arrival. Just as the two of us stood behind them to watch them
finish the stage, turned out they had finally defeated what appeared to be a
boss enemy. Their cheers accompanied the merry music that played to
congratulate the player's victory. And while Hajime wasn't childish enough to
openly hype up together with the other three, I can tell that he looks just as
satisfied and happy.
... Ah, the ugly feeling is there again.
Unlike me, Aoi-kun who stayed beside me openly rejoiced together with them.
"Everyone, congratulations! That's the difficult game that you've been talking
about the other day, right?"
"Oh, Aoi. And Haru-san too." Arata, as usual, has a poker face on him despite
the happy tone he's talking with. "Yeah, it's the game Pinkhead had been so
noisy about. Both of you should've join us from the start and watch my perfect
teamwork with Hajime-san."
"Stop calling me Pinkhead! And what perfect teamwork, you keep endangering
Hajime-san's character until half past the stage!" Koi retorted right away,
glaring sharply at Arata.
"Well, considering it's my first time playing the game, that can't be helped.
I'll get even better on the next stage."
Before Koi could say anything against Arata's confident statement, Kakeru
interrupted them. "No, no, no, Arata-san! The next stage will be my turn to
partner up with Hajime-san, that was the deal! Right, Hajime-san?"
"Aa―"
"You can't."
The debate almost immediately died down as everyone turned to look at me, who
had cut Hajime's words short without hesitation in the slightest. I met their
startled look with my usual smile... or at least, I tried to make it look as
casual.
"Hajime and I need to go for work now, or else we won't be able to make it in
time to the location. "
"... Ah, you're right."
Though supposedly we have talked about our schedules for today during this
morning's breakfast, apparently the younger boys and Hajime himself have
forgotten about it because they got too absorbed in the game. Hajime and I
would have a work together starting a little before lunchtime, while the other
four would have to go to their respective jobs, TV show recordings and drama
practices, after lunchtime.
When Hajime got up from his position on the floor, I noticed the reluctant
expression that the boys have. These boys, although at first they seemed
intimidated by Hajime's strong Alpha presence, now have opened up to him and be
able to interact with him casually. Moreover, unlike the guys surrounding us
during our school years, they don't see him as a leader that they need to
blindly serve, but more like a role model, someone that they want to be like in
the future.
Perhaps that's why Hajime found comfort spending times together with them.
Perhaps that's why he now can smile so naturally with them.
... I should be happy with it, because Hajime also looks happy. But as I
watched him pet Kakeru's head and promised the boys that he'll play again with
them later, I feel the ugly feeling pricking my conscience again.
.
.
.
"... OK! Next, Mutsuki-kun, please!"
"Alright."
The last job of today is a photo shoot to accompany an interview article for a
magazine. I had my pictures taken first, before Hajime replaced me standing in
front of the camera. The cameraman seemed quite happy when he's giving
instructions, making Hajime do various poses. I won't say that I don't
understand his feeling. Taking pictures of someone that good-looking must feel
quite appeasing.
Though Hajime didn't let it show at all, I felt that he's quite troubled with
how passionate the cameraman is. I pity him, but as long as he isn't told to do
anything that can be considered inappropriate for our agency's standard, I have
no right to stop the cameraman.
"Looking at it like this sure reminds me again that he's full of talent."
I turned my head and looked at the man standing beside me. Usually, that
position would be taken by Tsukishiro-san, the manager in charge of our unit,
but today he's accompanying the younger boys and instead, a special guest is
accompanying me and Hajime for the rest of our schedules today. He's the
tsukigami ― that's how the people in our agency came to call the composers or
producers who creates our songs ― in charge of producing songs for Hajime.
"I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that directly from you."
"Really? He looks like the type who is too used to hear compliments about his
skills, he's probably bored of it."
"No? Hajime really likes the songs you made for him and once said that he's
glad that he can fulfill your expectations, because he likes having you as his
producer. He's also really looking forward to the new song that you're going to
write for us."
We are going to release duet songs some time in the future. As Hajime's
producer seem to want to write a piece that best suits the atmosphere that we
have when around each other, he made a request to be allowed to watch over me
and Hajime working together for a day. Thus, the reason he's here today.
I saw him put up a thin smile at what I said. He probably think that I made all
that up (though it's not, really) so he keeps up a modest stance. "Thank you.
Then, Haru-kun, while we wait for Hajime-sama to finish, can I have you answer
more questions?"
Hajime-sama.
Because most of the other tsukigami called us familiarly with the suffix '-
kun', it really amused me to hear Hajime's tsukigami seemed to honor him
greatly like that. Suppressing a chuckle, I finally give him a nod. "Sure. What
else would you like to know about?"
"Right... I've asked about your school days memories and future goals, so this
time, let's try talking about your daily life."
Starting from that, he threw me simple questions like, is there anything new
that I learned about Hajime now that we're living in the dorm together with the
other unit members, how are we getting along with the others, that sort of
stuff. It felt not too different from getting interviewed for articles, yet
because the tone of our conversations are pretty casual and the apparent
parental affection he had for Hajime, it also felt like telling my friend's
parent about the sides of their child that can't be seen at home. A funny
feeling, really.
"I see. Glad to hear that you are getting along well with the other unit
members." He nodded, seemed to note all that in his head. "Then, what about the
new unit? The one that will be your rival unit."
"... Ah, Procellarum members, is it? We're surprisingly getting along well.
Especially the younger ones. I often saw them playing together or help each
other with assignments."
"I see. Is there no problem with Hajime-sama and Shun-kun?"
I took more seconds pausing to let that question sink in, pretty surprising,
considering I usually am quick with my head. And even then, what could escape
from my lips was a stupid sounding "Eh?".
"I've heard about Shun-kun's... condition, from Tsukino-san. Both are leaders,
yet are polar opposites in many aspects. Some says that polar opposites attract
each other, but I wonder about their case. Does Hajime-sama feel reluctant or
anything of sort when interacting with him?"
His eyes seemed to search me, trying to see if I'll cover any truth in my
words. I don't have any intention for doing that of course. Unlike when talking
with an interviewer, there won't be any demerit coming from revealing truths to
him. Not that there are anything bad happening that need to be covered either.
It's just... feels a little heavy to speak about it.
"... No, there's nothing like that happening between them. I mean, sure, Hajime
seems a little awkward at first because Shun is pretty proactive in befriending
him. But Shun is a nice person, and because of their backgrounds, they actually
have a lot in common. I often saw them having lively conversations in the
dorm..."
As I went on with my explanation, I feel the dark feeling pricked me again.
It's growing stronger and stronger as my mind replayed the moments I saw them
together. They were doing nothing out of ordinary, just talking about classes
that they take, about idol jobs, about fellow members, about funny experiences
they had back at school. The sort of casual conversations that friends may
have, with little flirtatious tone thrown in as Shun turned out to be real
fanatic about Hajime.
That's all they have ever done, as far as I knew, yet I can't help feeling that
Hajime will no longer be mine.
... Though, I suppose he's never mine to begin with.
"... I see."
When I realized, Hajime's tsukigami no longer had his eyes on me, but had
returned his focus to Hajime, who is finally allowed to step out of the
lighting. The photo shoot session is finally over. Hajime approached us after
receiving a pet bottle of mineral water and a small towel from one of the
staffs, and before I could greet him with a simple "otsukaresama", his
tsukigami had spoke up.
"Hajime-sama, Haru-kun, thank you for your cooperation today. I've found out
what I'd like for the two of you to sing, so you can expect the lyrics to be
completed soon."
Hajime seemed to be a bit surprised by that, and he then threw me a questioning
look, as if wondering what I had talked about with his tsukigami while he was
busy posing in front of the camera. The only answer I could gave him was a
shrug, as I didn't knew either what part of my story had inspired him, or
whether it really was because what I talked about with him. The producer
refused to reveal anything either, keeping up an enigmatic smile until we had
to part ways, as our schedules for the day is over.
Our curiosity was answer a few days later, when we are called to have a meeting
with the tsukigami again. As he had promised, he was done composing the lyrics.
He made us read the lyrics while listening to the music, all while briefing us
of what he expected us to do when it's time for the recording.
I feel like apologizing to him, because I didn't actually listen to what he
said, for I was too absorbed in reading the lyrics as I realized something.
Our producers, they are not referred as a 'kami' for nothing.
.
.
.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm really, really sorry for possibly destroying Hajime's tsukigami
     personality. I don't know how he's seen in the eyes of his fans, or
     how he represents himself in his accounts.
***** 始視点-参- *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The lyrics that my tsukigami composed for our duet song turned out to be
telling about a passionate, yet miserable love.
When I realized this, I was a bit dumbfounded. I remembered he was saying that
he'll give us a song that suits the ambience of our relationship, perhaps to
make it easier for us to put our feelings when singing. So, what is this
supposed to mean?
"Is it too difficult?"
He had asked during our briefing, apparently sensing my baffled state. If I
were to be honest, I would answer, yes, it is difficult. I have never
experienced emotion as strong as what is expressed in the lyrics, after all.
But I don't like betraying expectations put on me, especially if it's from
someone that I admire and respect. So I said nothing and promised him to give
my best on the recording.
Even after the meeting ended and both Haru and I returned to the dorm, I keep
thinking about how I can carry out the feeling that the lyrics try to convey.
The title of the song, I remembered, is something that was often mentioned in
poems from the olden times. It's said to be a plant capable of making one
forgets the bitterness caused by love, and it's implied clearly to have
precisely that effect at the end of the song.
Not wanting the partner to feel the pain of love as they are forced to go
apart... hoping that they may find happiness although they can't be together...
I found myself smiling wryly. So, in the end, 'koi' turns into 'ai'... *
Understanding that part is good and all that, yet the problem remains that I
have never felt something so deep toward someone, so I may not be able to
convey the feelings contained to the audience.
"... I wonder how Haru will deal with it..."
Speak of which, he didn't look too bothered when we learned of the song's theme
in the briefing earlier. Could it be that the composed stance was because he
knew how to pour the emotion into the song?
... Does he know the feeling of loving someone so deeply it's fine to let the
other go to chase after their own happiness?
Thinking about that, strangely, made my heart ached. At first, I thought that
it was because I was disappointed in myself. We've been together since middle
school, after all. If Haru really had went through something like that, why
didn't I notice it? Or, why didn't he try to confide in me? Does it means I'm
not a reliable friend for him, though I often rely to him for things?
Seconds later, I found myself wondering, who the target of his deep affection
is, and was surprised to realize that I'm feeling a little envious to whoever
it is.
To be able to make Haru felt that way, that person must be quite charming...
After the thought crossed my mind, I shook my head, trying to brush it away. I
had went too far with my pondering. It's not like I have evidences that could
confirm it either.
In any case, I decided to discuss the song with Haru.
.
.
.
Because they have the weekend off, Aoi and Arata returned to their family house
to spend the days away, and thus that night we had a dinner with only the four
of us. Kakeru and Koi had to wake up early tomorrow for a job, so they excused
themselves a little after dinnertime. Only Haru and I left, and I thought it
was the perfect chance to talk to him about the song. I told him that I'd like
to practice together, to get the feel of the song and point out things to
improve from each other. He agreed, and we decided to practice in Haru's room.
After welcoming me into his room, Haru headed to his mini kitchen to get some
drinks to accompany our practice, all while telling me to go ahead and get
ready. The sample CD was already set in the mini compo, as Haru apparently had
been listening to it after returning from the meeting. His share of music
sheets were on the table, marked here and there with his writings. I was left
to fiddle with the remote while waiting for Haru to sit next to me on the long
couch, and before we have the music play out, I told him what I wanted to
learn, or accomplish, through this practice.
The most important objective, which is to figure out how to harmonize well on
the duet parts, should be done without saying, so I skipped it and went
straight to saying what has been intriguing me: that I'd like to see how Haru
will express himself in the lyrics.
"Me? I'll just... you know, imagine myself parting with someone I hold dear..."
He smiled sheepishly, looking like he doesn't know how to put it into words.
After muttering, "I see," I fell silent. His choice of words tickled my
curiosity, reminding me of the question I had in mind earlier. I tried to stop
myself from asking the question, but Haru smiled at me, as if telling me to go
ahead if I have another question.
"... Do you have someone like that? Someone that you like so much, but don't
mind parting with, as long as they're happy with it."
I quickly regret letting myself ask him the question. Because after the initial
surprised look on his face, his expression turned mellow and the sad smile he
had was enough to make me feel guilty.
"Never mind. Let's just start."
Without waiting for his answer, I grabbed the remote and let the song filled
the room, effectively ending our conversation. I set my gaze on my music sheets
and read it, and with the corner of my eyes I saw Haru picked his own, doing
the same with his. I intended to focus solely on the lyrics, but just as the
intro ended and came Haru's part of the song, I couldn't help but lifted my
head and looked at him as he sings.
To my relief and also surprise, he didn't look as saddened anymore. The words
he sang clearly didn't lack hint of grievance, but his expression was rather
normal. Even after I joined in for the duet part, he maintained the expression.
Perhaps he thought he was wrong with showing the kind of expression he had
earlier, and tried to conceal it while keeping the feeling still. Or perhaps...
I couldn't think further than that because just before the music played the
part where I'm supposed to sing solo, the front door of Haru's room was knocked
furiously.
"Haru! Are you inside!?"
The voice was a little muffled because of the soundproofed walls, but we could
recognize it. Kai. Haru and I exchanged looks for a moment before Haru left the
couch and ran to open the door for Kai, and I grabbed the remote to turn off
the mini compo before getting to the entrance as well.
"What's wrong, Ka-" "Is Hajime in here!?"
Hearing my name mentioned made me alerted. I hastened my walking pace, and saw
Kai standing at the doorway, looking panicked. He immediately averted his
attention from Haru when he noticed my presence, and although he looked a
little more relieved than before, he clearly is still restless.
"Hajime! Goodness, you're here. I knocked your room and there was no answer, I
thought you're still working...!"
"Sorry, I was practicing with Haru here. What is it, Kai? What's so urgent?"
"Right, it's Shun, he's-"
I tensed when Shun's name was brought up. Suddenly I knew the answer, even
before Kai finished his sentence.
"- in Heat. He looks like he's in great pain -"
"Why are you looking for me?" I cut him short, and he looked at me as if he
didn't get my point. "I'm an Alpha, just like you, it's dangerous for me to
approach him if he's in Heat. If you want help-"
"- I'd better get another Omega or a Beta, I know." Now it's his turn to
interrupt me. He's looking more and more restless, and I can understand why -
- for each second we wasted talking like this, Shun will suffer a second
longer. "But Yoru and Iku haven't returned from their home. Aoi also went home
for the weekend, right? The ones left are Kakeru and Koi, but even if they
might not get affected by his pheromones, I don't think it's right to expose
them to... something like that."
Now that he's saying that -- Kakeru and Koi certainly are still too young.
Remembering the times I encountered Omegas in Heat, I know I wouldn't want to
let them see such sight. Not before they matured enough.
"Besides, Hajime." Kai sounded like he's coaxing a child, something that
normally I won't appreciate, but as now isn't the time to fuss over that, I
just listened to what he has to say. "You're his Mate, right? I think... he
won't mind."
"... There's something wrong with that logic."
"Really? Well, talk about that later! Why are you so reluctant with this?!"
"Because...!"
Nothing came out after that. It was as if my words suddenly get stuck and
refused to come out. Then again, what kind of excuse was I trying to say? That
it's a ridiculous idea after all, to have an Alpha approach an Omega in Heat,
even if they're supposed to be Destined Mates? Yeah, that should be the most
plausible reasoning I would come up with. But no, I felt that there's a
different reasoning, something that weighed me down...
I felt a firm push on my back, forcing me to take a few steps forward, urging
me to exit through the doorway.
"Kai said that Shun is in great pain right now, right? So just hurry and go,
Hajime."
I turned my head to look at him, ready to object, but then I saw his smile.
And I felt that I finally understand everything.
The reason behind Haru's smile.
The reason that made me so reluctant to go to Shun's side right now.
The reason my tsukigami created this song for us.

.
.
.
Chapter End Notes
     * Koi (恋) is a selfish sort of love. Always wanting, always insecure,
     more focused on the happiness of oneself. In the other hand, ai (愛)
     is said to be a true form of love. Always giving, unselfish, and
     happy when the other is also happy.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!