Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/609188. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/M Fandom: Homestuck Relationship: Calliope/Jake_English Character: Calliope_(Homestuck), Jake_English Additional Tags: Xenophilia Stats: Published: 2012-12-26 Words: 981 ****** Xenophilia: The Grandest Adventure Of All ****** by dogtier Summary It's literally just them having sex. That's it. That's the whole summary. Notes See the end of the work for notes Calliope was a perfectly lovely girl. While her skin wasn't blue, it was a striking shade of green that emphasized her magnificent bone structure. And that tongue! That long, white tongue that wriggled past her deadly jaws and stroked his neck while he tried to thrash against the knee holding him down. Oh, a man could lose his senses to a tongue like that. "Sweet suffering jehoshaphat!" Jake exclaimed as the forks of her tongue slid down either side of his Adam's apple. "That is straight up cheating, my dear!" "Cheating, luv?" Calliope chuckled against the hollow of his neck, voice deep and reverberating from her broad chest. It made Jake all weak at the knees, or rather would make him weak at the knees if he wasn't already laid out flat. His knees still tried to buckle anyway. They were solid chaps at roleplaying like that. "Yes!" Jake said. "You're liable to make the ol' cork pop before the fun has even begun in earnest!" "Well," Calliope said, nudging Jake's erection once again to hear his strangled mangling of popular metaphors. "We wouldn't want that." She rolled to her side, sitting up and pulling him until he sat in her lap, thighs spread wide over her thick upper leg. He rolled his hips, trying to get comfortable, but just ended up jerking back and forth with excited panting for several moments before Calliope caught his waist and stilled him. "Thank you," Jake said. "Sometimes things can rather get away from me. One minute I'm mounting the horse and the next I'm off to the races, my stallion not responding to the reins." "Sounds quite frustrating," she said. "Oh, it is," he said. One of her massive hands came down on his back, supporting him as he leaned back to allow her other hand to push up his shirt. She scratched, ever so lightly, down his heaving abdomen, leaving the faintest traces against his brown skin. "Such a lovely color," she said. "Why thank you," he said. "I feel the same way about your shade. It's so warm. Well, warm in color but also that it's so warm to the touch, how high is your body temperature anyway? This probably isn't the time for scientific inquiry, is it?" "I don't know," Calliope said, she laid her fingertip flat against his areola and flicked. He squeaked, several octaves higher than Calliope's contemplative hum. "I'm intrigued by this experiment." "Kicking Christ," he whined as she repeated the action. Curious, she then cupped his chest and pinched lightly between two of her fingers, careful as always to avoid accidental claw contact. His thighs clamped down around her, body shaking. "Alright, there?" Calliope asked. Jake just nodded frantically, arching his back as her supporting hand slid lower down, resting on the last few vertebrae above his rear and encouraging his hips' movements. "Calliope," he moaned, stuck trying to decide which sensation he wanted to chase more. It was utterly unfair how quickly she could make him come undone. His eyeglasses had slipped down his sweaty nose and he only saw her face in half focus. He gasped wetly, imaging kissing her deadly mouth. If she stayed very still and opened wide maybe he could suck on one of those long incisors? He might prick his tongue though and she'd have to suck the taste of copper out of him. "Come on," Calliope urged. "You're almost there aren't you?" "Yes," he keened. Oh lord he wanted to be closer. His clothing was soaked inside and beginning to chafe against sensitive skin. It hurt and he wanted her to make it end. And then he felt it. The tight coil around the base of his cock. The throbbing sensation of her twisting space that always made him fall to pieces. It was frightening, so frightening what she could do and he tried to keep his eyes open so he could see the flash of something on her face when she did it. He had no idea what that expression meant, only that it made him claw at her suit and come so hard he added some imagined stars to her display. She caught him, rolling him gentle to lay on his back and try to pull himself together. "Good?" she asked. He simply croaked in response, gesturing in weak approval for her to straddle his waist and finish herself off. Cherubs. They were odd. He could spend ages trying to figure out what was going on there, how the twists and spikes were meant to go. He had read up on reptiles and other things and something called "traumatic insemination" that Hal was fond of describing in graphic detail and he was quite, quite happy to take a hands off approach in regards to Calliope rubbing against his bare stomach, leaving sticky trails of lime and what looked for all the world like carpet burn. She never said anything when finishing, only rumbling deep in her chest, so deep that it shook Jake's entire body. And she pinched the tip of her erm, thing. Sometimes afterwards her fingers have little cuts and he was sort of morbidly curious about what would happen if she didn't catch herself in time. Calliope carefully moved to the side, laying her hand on Jake's messy stomach and rubbing. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" "Not at all, my lovely lady," he said. "Though it did raise some... other problems." "Hmm," she said, palming his renewed erection through his dirty shorts. "Raising indeed." Jake laughed, humping up against her hand as she squeezed lightly. "Would you like my fingers in you this time?" she asked. "You are reading my mind," he said. She sat back as he scrambled to undo his shorts. "I have a tongue as well," she mentioned and he made a noise that she couldn't help but laugh at. End Notes I imagine them have a very successful aromantic relationship. The "luvs" are ironic. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!