Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1311613.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Scott_McCall/Kira_Yukimura, Lydia_Martin/
      Jackson_Whittemore
  Character:
      Stiles_Stilinski, Derek_Hale, Scott_McCall, Kira_Yukimura, Lydia_Martin,
      Erica_Reyes, Isaac_Lahey, Vernon_Boyd, Allison_Argent, Laura_Hale, Cora
      Hale, Jackson_Whittemore
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Human, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Teacher-
      Student_Relationship, Texting, Drunk_Texting, Underage_-_Freeform,
      Underage_Drinking, Sexting, Phone_Sex
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-03-14 Updated: 2014-10-21 Chapters: 9/? Words: 10383
****** Wrong Number ******
by bethesound
Summary
     (1:17am)
     Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 17? Because I think
     that's happening right now.
      
     (1:18am)
     Who is this?
     (1:19am)
     Also a midlife crisis requires you to be at the mid point of your
     life. You're probably experiencing what everyone experiences at 17.
     It's called high school.
      
     (1:19am)
     Oh sorry man. Wrong number.
***** Jericho sucked *****
Chapter Notes
     This is my first Sterek fic so bear with me. The format and story is
     inspired by Little Numbers. It's a wonderful Klaine fic that you
     should check out sometime! The majority of this fic will be in a
     texting format but I may go off that once or twice if the story
     really calls for regular dialogue.
     This chapter does not have a beta. Unless someone eventually steps up
     to the plate this whole fic will be unbeta'd.
     Thank you and I hope you enjoy the first chapter!
     Italicized is Stiles
     Bold is Derek
     Regular is Scott
Wed_2_Oct
 
(1:17am)
Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 17? Because I think that's
happening right now.
 
(1:18am)
Who is this?
(1:19am)
Also a midlife crisis requires you to be at the mid point of your life. You're
probably experiencing what everyone experiences at 17. It's called high school.
 
(1:19am)
Oh sorry man. Wrong number.
(1:25am)
You caught me. I haven't studied for my English test and I'm hopelessly in love
with someone who doesn't know my name.
 
(1:27am)
Take solace in the fact that these are the most trivial problems you'll ever
have in your life.
 
(1:27am)
They are only trivial post this stage of my life. I can complain about mundane
shit until at least 25.
 
(1:28am)
Maybe 30 but that's pushing it.
 
(1:32am)
You'll never stop complaining about mundane shit. It's an ageless past time.
Also study for that English test. Maybe that good grade will be a brief moment
of happiness in the shit show that is being an American teenager.
 
(1:40am)
Thank you Stephen Chbosky. Also I don't have a test. I was being sarcastic.
 
(1:42am)
Jericho was an abomination.
 
(1:45am)
I don't follow.
 
 
(1:46am)
Stephen Chbosky. He was the writer for Jericho?
 
 
(1:48am)
I was thinking more like Perks of Being a Wallflower. You know, angsty
teenagers who come together to battle high school woes. That shit.
 
(1:52am)
Ah yeah. That book is overhyped.
(1:53am)
Jericho still sucked.
 
(1:55am)
Duly noted.
(1:55am)
As fun as this has been I have get some fucking sleep. I do actually have
school in the morning.
 
(1:57am)
Ok, night.
 
 
 
(8:00am)
Do you think it's too late for me to drop out and become a nomad?
 
 
(8:47am)
Why are you still texting me? And yes it is too late. Finish high school. Your
bank account will thank you later.
 
(8:50am)
Because it's more fun than listening to my best friend talk about his escapades
with his gf last night.
(8:51am)
Fine. But if I end up flunking out anyway then I'm blaming my future drug
dependency on you.
 
 
(11:50am)
Maybe tell him you don't want to hear about it then? High school isn't that
hard. Just think of it as a means to an end. Put these years in and then you
get freedom. Also better job opportunities.
 
(11:55am)
Yeah I'm sure McDonalds cares whether I have a diploma or not.
 
(12:00pm)
High aspirations there.
 
(12:10pm)
Shooting low. Less disappointment that way.
 
(12:12pm)
Also more depressing. Maybe think community college first?
 
(12:15pm)
What happened to freedom? I want the wind blowing in my hair as I drive down
the freeway to my future as a struggling musician.
 
(12:16pm)
Well, at least that's more interesting than McDonalds.
 
(12:17pm)
Not ruling out McD's yet.
(12:19pm)
Ok time to memorize equations that I'll forget in a month. Peace.
 
 
 
(3:30pm)
who were u texting during lunch? 
 
(3:35pm) 
No one special, why?
 
(3:37pm)
because u had that weird determined face that u get when ur super into
something
 
(3:40pm)
It was just some random dude that got the wrong number yesterday. 
(3:41pm)
Actually not sure if it's a dude. I'm assuming but I could be wrong.
 
(3:45pm)
why would u keep texting a dude who had the wrong nmbr?
 
(3:50pm)
Idk. I don't always make the wisest choices Scott.
(3:50pm)
It'll probably never happen again. 
 
(3:52pm)
whatvr man
(3:52pm)
what do u think about mario kart after school tmrrw? no school friday so you
could stay over.
 
(4:00pm)
Yeah, I'm game. 
 
(4:01pm)
sweet. see u tmrrw.
 
(4:02pm)
Yeah. Prepare to get your ass handed to you.
 
(4:04)
we'll see about that
 
 
(10:00pm)
Are you a guy? I just assumed you were but I could be wrong. You could be a
woman. 
(10:05pm)
Or do you not conform to the gender binary?
(10:06pm)
I mean it's whatever. You do you.
(10:15pm)
I'm a guy. Just in case you were wondering.
(10:20pm)
Your average straight white male teenager here. Except less of an asshole
maybe. 
 
(10:25pm)
I'm surprised you even know what the gender binary is. 
 
(10:26pm)
I get lost in the blackhole that is Wikipedia on a weekly basis. 
(10:27pm)
That and Tumblr. 
 
(10:30pm)
Well that does tie-in with your typical straight white male self. Add internet
addiction to that list and you're a market research dream.
 
(10:34pm)
I make up for it by NOT being a misogynistic asshole. 
 
(10:36pm)
So no Axe Bodyspray or Ford cars for you?
 
(10:40pm)
I prefer Gold Bond. Athlete and all. I do own a Jeep, which I guess is kind of
targeted to men. 
(10:41pm)
It was given to me though. I didn't pick it out.
 
(10:50pm)
Male, white, 17yo, Jeep, gold bond deodorant, athlete (sport?). Do you also
have divorced parents and plan to go to a state college?
 
(10:52pm)
Lacrosse.
(10:53pm)
And nice try but no. Mom died when I was 12. I live with my dad. You already
know I don't have plans for college. If I did UCLA would not be on my list. 
 
(11:00pm)
And he lives in California. I'm not sure we can get any more cliche then that. 
(11:01pm)
I'm sorry about your mom. I know how hard that is to deal with.
 
(11:05pm)
Cliche maybe but at least I'm intelligent. I figure that counts for something.
(11:06pm)
It's fine. It was a long time ago.
 
(11:10pm)
It counts for a lot. 
(11:12pm)
I'm actually going to go to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight. I have class at
7:50am. Until next time?
 
(11:15pm)
Yeah until next time. 
(11:20pm)
WAIT! You never answered my question.
 
(11:21pm)
Male. 
 
(11:21pm)
There goes my hopes and dreams of having an epic romance that ends in me
telling her, "Mid-life crisis averted." Then kissing her senseless.
 
(11:23pm)
Good night.
 
(11:24pm)
Good night.
***** 3in not 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     First of all thank you to everyone who left comments and bookmarked
     the first chapter! It's blowing my mind how much positive feedback
     I've gotten. <3
     This chapter is a lot longer and without a beta it's hard to keep
     track of everything so hopefully there aren't many mistakes. Let me
     know if there are any and I'll make changes.
     ALSO, I made a schedule for Stiles to make timing even throughout the
     fic. Derek has the same lunch hour, at least for this semester.
     Period 1: 7:50-8:39 (Creative Writing)
     Period 2: 8:44-9:33 (Economics)


     Period 3: 9:38-10:27 (Study Hall)


     Period 4: 10:32-11:22 (Machine Woodworking)


     Period 5: 11:27-12:42 (Physics)
     • Lunch (A): 11:27-11:52
     • Lunch (B): 11:52-12:17 (Stiles lunch period)
     • Lunch (C): 12:17-12:42
     Period 6: 12:47-1:36 (Advanced Algebra)
     Period 7: 1:41-2:30 (Ceramics and Sculpture)
     Lacrosse starts in Spring but tryouts and practice will start around
     January.
     Stiles is italicized
     Derek is bold
     Scott is normal
     Laura is red
     If you want to follow me elsewhere you can find me at
     bethesound.tumblr.com and I'm jennaisreal on twitter.
     OK NO MORE NOTES. GO READ.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Sat_5_Oct
 
(2:00am)
Jericho isAWFUL.
 
(2:32am)
I told you! Why did you watch it?
 
(2:35am)
Part curiosity, part being a teenager and thinking all adults have awful taste
in television. I wanted to confirm that but shit out of luck on that one. 
 
(2:40am)
What constitutes an adult for you? What's the age cut off?
 
(2:42am)
Idk maybe 30. 
(2:42am)
At least according to our conversation yesterday. 
 
(2:45am)
I beat it by 2 years then. 
 
(2:49am)
Hmm, would have pegged you for at least 35. You have that slight doom and gloom
thing going that seems to hit around that age.
 
(2:52am)
I'm realistic what can I say.
 
(3:00am)
Is this weird?
(3:00am)
That we're still talking I mean.
 
(3:02am)
I know what you mean. 
(3:04am)
And we're not really talking we're texting. Feels less personal you know? 
 
(3:07am)
I've gotten pretty real through text before. It's how my friend Isaac came out
to me. 
(3:10am)
Maybe it's a generational thing. 
 
(3:12am)
He seriously came out by text? Seems like a face to face conversation.
 
(3:15am)
He was really nervous about it. Didn't have the best relationship with his
dad. 
(3:16am)
Also he thought I was gay even though I've been in love with the same girl for
like 10yrs. 
 
(3:18am)
Maybe he thought you were just using her as a cover. 
(3:21am)
I mean it is a little suspicious that you've had a crush on the same girl for
10 years. Most people would have moved on by now.
 
(3:25am)
It's not a crush. I'm in love with her. That doesn't just go away. 
(3:26am)
True love is life long man.
 
(3:35am)
I'm sorry. I had to compose myself. I was laughing for a good 10min.
 
(3:36am)
:p
 
(3:38am)
You're 17. This too shall pass and all that. 
(3:39am)
:)
 
(3:41am)
I would argue but it's almost 4am and I slept like 3 hours last night because I
stayed at a friends house.
(3:42am)
TBC
 
 
(2:15pm)
How can kids be this dumb?
 
(2:17pm)
Uh oh, what happened?
 
(2:20pm)
I'm going through these quizzes my class did Thursday and I'm ready to drown
myself in a bottle of whisky.
(2:22pm)
It's a quiz on tools in the woodshop. HOW HARD CAN THAT BE?!
 
(2:25pm)
Derek they're high schoolers. Can't really expect much from them.
 
(2:26pm)
Ok but listen to this. 
(2:32pm)
Q: How far should you keep your fingers from the blade on the bandsaw?
    a. 8in
    b. Directly by the blade
    c. 2ft
    d. 3in
(2:33pm)
He picked none of them Laura. He just drew a penis and wrote "about this
long". 
 
(2:35pm)
I mean, was it correct?
 
(2:36pm)
LAURA HE DREW A PENIS.
(2:38pm)
It was probably like 5in so no. The answer was 3in.
 
(2:40pm)
You should write that on there. He'll either be a) shocked and embarrassed or
b) annoyed that he didn't get a rise out of you. 
 
(2:43pm)
I'll think about it.
 
 
(5:01pm)
Do I give off gay vibes?
(5:01pm)
I mean do I seem gay?
(5:02pm)
Not that I have a problem with gay people but like, I'm not gay.
 
(5:20pm)
not sure what happened between thurs night and now but i wouldn't worry about
it
 
(5:22pm)
That didn't answer my question Scott.
 
(5:24pm)
i mean, you can get pretty up close and personal dude
(5:25pm)
but i think u just like touching people
(5:25pm)
like in a friend way. u don't really have boundaries is what i'm sayin.
 
(5:27pm)
I have boundaries! 
(5:30pm) 
Ok maybe not as much as the average male but I do have them. 
 
(5:32pm)
u also draw penises on homework
 
(5:35pm)
OK, 1. It was a quiz and I did it once ONCE and 2. That does not make me gay.
That makes me an awful student.
 
(5:36pm)
ok stiles ur not gay. crisis averted. can we talk about something else now?
 
(5:40pm)
Saw Lydia today. 
 
(5:41pm)
saw her and talked to her??
 
(5:45pm)
Not exactly. I was grabbing a few things at the grocery store and she was there
too. We locked eyes for a second. 
 
(5:46pm)
really making progress there man
 
(5:49pm)
Hey, 10yrs with almost no acknowledgement and she actually looked at me today.
That's progress in my book.
 
(6:00pm)
i knew kira for maybe a month before asking her out. u have never even tried
asking lydia out. 
(6:01pm) 
u just stare at her and smile awkwardly
(6:01pm)
it's really sad to watch 
 
(6:04pm)
I'm working my way up to it. It's like a souffle. Takes a long time to bake and
when you pull it out of oven you have to do it just right otherwise it falls
flat.
 
(6:06pm)
with metaphors like that why would anyone think ur gay?
 
(6:08pm)
Ha ha. 
(6:10pm)
I'm going to play COD because obviously there is no use talking to you tonight.
 
(6:13pm)
go ahead. kira is coming over soon anyway ;)
 
(6:17pm)
*shudder* I'm still traumatized from the last time you told me about you and
Kira's sex life. 
(6:20pm)
Go, have fun. I'll spend my Saturday night doing what I love, video games and
well... the other thing us teenage males do.
 
(6:21pm)
have fun with that
 
(6:22pm) 
Oh I will ;)
 
 
(11:00pm)
sorry about ealry. mabee it is tru lobe. 
 
(11:02pm)
Woah there. You texted me first.
(11:02pm)
Are you drunk?
 
(11:05pm)
stupid students csnf remember he i a tabske saw works
(11:06pm)
maybe
 
(11:10pm)
We're already at the drunk texting phase. This may be a lasting friendship
after all. 
 
(11:14pm)
Friends 4eba
 
(11:15pm)
Oh wow. That's just sad. Are you out right now? Because I don't want to bother
you if you're with like, actual real life friends.
 
(11:18pm)
no im home and i dont haab real life friends.
(11:20pm)
just you
(11:20pm)
and laURa
 
(11:23pm)
Who's Laura? And you have to have a few real life friends because it would be
sad if your only friend was a 17yo you only know through text.
 
(11:27pm)
SHe's my sister. nope no friends. 
(11:28pm)
i hab students. but they are defjitly not my friends.
 
(11:30pm)
Oh you're a teacher. That explains the class at 7:50am thing. Also whatever the
fuck you were trying to say about saws.
(11:31pm)
What grade do you teach?
 
(11:33pm)
highschool
(11:33pm)
the wrst years
 
(11:36pm)
Can't argue with you there.
 
(11:40pm)
youre smart. 
 
(11:41pm)
Thanks, I think?
 
(11:42pm)
Youre welcome uh whts your name?
 
(11:45pm)
Mmm, no. Maybe another day when you're sober.
 
(11:48pm) 
fine
(11:48pm)
;P
 
(11:52pm)
I think you need to sleep this off. I'll talk to you later. 
 
(12:00am)
ok, good ight :)
 
 
Mon_7_Oct 
 
(10:40am)
Laura I gave back the quizzes and he's bright red. 
 
(10:41am) 
Dick guy? Omg Derek did you actually write "It's 3in not 5" on his paper?!
 
(10:43am)
No of course not. And seriously, dick guy?
(10:44am)
I'm not really sure why he's red. It's making me nervous.
 
(10:48am) 
Maybe he forgot he drew the dick.
 
(11:15am)
Laura, please kill me. Throw me over a bridge. 
 
(11:17am)
What happened?
 
(11:19am)
He left the quiz on his desk when he went to work on his project. 
(11:20am)
I put "unimpressive" at the bottom of it. 
 
(11:22am)
Wait why would that be bad?
(11:22am)
HAHHAHAHA OMG IT TOOK ME A SECOND. He's probably traumatized. His teacher said
his dick drawing was unimpressive.
(11:24am)
Thank you so much Derek. No matter how shitty my day gets now, I'll get to
think about your face the moment you realized what you wrote.
 
(11:25am)
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT THOUGH. I meant it like the whole quiz was bad. He
couldn't even look me in the eye when he left class. I hate myself right now. 
 
(11:30am)
Could have been worse. He could have slipped you his number after class.
(11:35am)
No? Not funny?
(11:36am)
I thought it was pretty funny.
 
(11:40am)
I hate you so much right now. 
 
 
(12:00pm)
SCOTT WHERE ARE YOU I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED IN WOODWORKING TODAY?!
(12:02pm)
Hale thinks my dick is unimpressive. 
Chapter End Notes
     Hope you enjoyed the second chapter!!!! I don't have a date in mind
     yet for chapter 3 because I'm not sure how this week is going to go
     homework wise but I'm thinking it'll happen by Saturday.
     Edit: I saw some confusion on Derek's age. He's 28.
***** I suck at math *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey everyone!!!! So I'm floored by the comments I'm getting on this
     fic. Glad to know that I'm much funnier than most of my friends give
     me credit for :)
     FYI I'm going to track "wrong number sterek" on Tumblr so if you want
     me to see anything just tag it with that.
     This chapter isn't as long as I wanted it to be but I hope the
     content makes up for that. Here's Derek's schedule so you guys can
     figure out who's where when.
      
     Period 1: 7:50-8:39 (Basic Woodworking)
     Period 2: 8:44-9:33 (Study Hall)
     
Period 3: 9:38-10:27 (Small Engines)
     


Period 4: 10:32-11:22 (Machine Woodworking)



     Period 5: 11:27-12:42 (Advanced Metals)
     • Lunch (A): 11:27-11:52
     
• Lunch (B): 11:52-12:17 (Derek’s Lunch Period)

     • Lunch (C): 12:17-12:42
     Period 6: 12:47-1:36 (Free Period)
     
Period 7: 1:41-2:30 (Autos for Girls)
     No joke, Autos for Girls is a legit class at my old high school.
     Hoping to fit that in at some point, maybe when Lydia and Allison
     start texting. We'll see.
     Stiles is italicized
     Derek is bold
     Scott is normal
     Laura is red
     Enjoy the chapter!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Mon_7_Oct
 
(8:00pm)
Do teachers purposely do things to embarrass their students?
(9:00pm)
I just wonder sometimes.
  
 
Thus_10_Oct
  
(7:40am)
The American high school education system is set up to fail.
(7:40am)
I mean, who thought teenagers would be able to function this early in the
morning?
 
(9:40am)
Ok I'm a little more alert now. 
(9:50am)
Factor each equation
12a 3 − 9a 2 + 4a − 3
(9:51am)
Help. 
(9:51am)
Please.
(10:00am)
:(((((
  
(10:20am)
He won't answer me.
 
(10:21am)
who??
 
(10:21am)
Mystery texter.
 
(10:23am)
maybe he's busy?
 
(10:26am)
Yeah maybe.
  
 
Fri_11_Oct
 
(11:00pm)
heyyyy
(11:05pm)
come onnnnnn
(11:10pm)
i've fallen and i cnt get up
 
(11:11pm)
You shouldn't drink.
(11:12pm)
It leads to embarrassing text messages that haunt you for days.
 
(11:13pm) 
is that why you didt talk to me??
(11:13pm)
is nothin to be embarded about
(11:14pm)
it was cute
(11:20pm)
hello??
(11:30pm)
bueller?
 
(11:35pm)
Where do teenagers even buy alcohol?
(11:36pm)
I'm honestly curious.
 
(11:40pm)
my dad used to drnk a lot
(11:41pm)
he tried to throw away the bottls once 
(11:43pm)
I grabbed them an put them in my closet underneath sme comics
 
(11:47pm)
I'm sorry. 
(11:47pm)
I don't really know what to say to that.

(12:00am)
it was a long time go
 
  Unsent message (12:01am)
  Time doesn't heal all wounds. 
 
(12:05am)
I suck at math.
 
(12:06am)
what?
 
(12:07am)
You asked me to help with that math equation.
(12:07am)
but I suck at math.
 
(12:07am)
really?
(12:08am)
But you're a teachr
 
(12:09am)
I want to know how you typed the proper "you're" while drunk. I need to learn
that skill.
(12:11am)
I'm not a math teacher. I mean, I do need to know some math for my job but most
of the time I have to rely on a calculator.
 
(12:11am)
Sobering up.  Haha I have a teacher like tht. he totally tries to hide the fact
that he uses a calcultor but we're nt dumb.
 
(12:20am)
Well maybe he's embarrassed. No teacher wants to be the "stupid" teacher. 
 
(12:22am)
It's not stupid. Plus who cares abbut what some high school kids think?
 
(12:24am)
Every high school teacher in America.
 
(12:25am)
That's dumb. 
(12:25am)
Teachers have all the powr. 
(12:26am)
We have nothing.
 
(12:30am)
And don't you forget it ;)
(12:33am)
But in all seriousness teachers are scared shitless of their students. Hell
hath no fury like a 16 year old girl scorned.
 
(12:35am)
BRB. got to get a sex change.
 
(12:36am)
High school boys are scary too. But mostly because they have no sense of self
preservation. 
(12:37am)
I once saw a student try to staple his forehead to see what would happen.
(12:37am)
I almost lost all hope for humanity that day.
 
(12:40am)
My best friend once tried to drink 3 gallons of milk in an hour.
(12:43am)
He threw up after the first gallon.
(1:00am)
Did I lose you?
 
(1:10am) 
Sorry. Binge watching Orange Is the New Black. 
(1:10am)
Piper makes the WORST decisions.
 
(1:11am)
I knew teachers had lifes but you are blowing my mind right now.
(1:11am)
I totally ship Daya and Officer Bennett. 
 
(1:14am)
Eh, that's such a cliche relationship. The prisoner and the prison guard.
(1:15am)
I'm all about Morello and Nichols.
 
(1:16am)
Idk, I guess I have a thing for forbidden relationships. 
(1:17am)
Boss and employee. Best friends parent or sibling. Lawyer and client. Teacher
and student. 
(1:18am)
But Morello and Nichols is still kind of hot. 
 
(1:20am)
I think I'm just going to head to bed. Night.
 
(1:21am)
Yeah, have fun watching OITNB ;)
 
(1:21am)
ZZZZZzzzz...
 
 
 
Sat_12_Oct
 
(9:45am)
hey dude come over 
(9:45am)
moms making pancakes 
(9:47am)
they have choc chips
 
(10:00am)
ughhhh
(10:01am)
Give me like 10min to get dressed and to get rid of this headache.
 
(10:01am)
not much sleep?
 
(10:02am)
Hung out with my best friend Jack Daniels. 
 
(10:02am)
drinking alone again? 
(10:03am)
i thought u stopped doing that :/

(10:04am)
Lydia got back together with Jackson. 
(10:04am)
I was coping.
 
(10:05am)
aw sorry man. come over and we'll talk about it.
 
(10:06am)
Ok, see you soon.
 
 
Mon_14_Oct
 
(7:00am)
Please explain to me why we don't have Columbus day off from school.
 
(7:15am)
Don't have an answer for you there. 
(7:15am)
But I could definitely use another day off.
 
(7:17am)
Long night? ;)
 
(7:40am)
If only. 
(7:41am)
My sister dragged me to the mall for five hours.
(7:41am)
I thought my lets were going to fall off. I even made her drive on the way
back.
(7:42am)
legs*
 
(7:45am)
Remind me never to meet your sister. 
 
(8:50am)
She's not so bad. 
(8:50am)
She just knows I have nothing better to do then hold her purse at the mall on a
Sunday afternoon.
(8:51am)
That says a lot about my life I feel. 
 
(9:40am)
Is your sister attractive? Maybe people would think you two were dating and
think, "Yeah, that guys damn lucky."
(9:41am)
Just trying to think optimistically.  
 
(10:40am)
I don't know. I guess objectively she's attractive. 
(10:42am)
If the most positive thing about my weekend is the thought that someone would
think I'm lucky because it looked like I was dating a hot chick who is actually
my sister, that's really sad. 
 
(3:00pm)
Sorry, phone got taken away.
(3:00pm)
I mean, you could have just stayed home all weekend and watched the entire
season of OITNB. That would have been more depressing.
 
(3:04pm)
In between classes and at lunch only ok?
(3:05pm)
Drives me crazy when students text during class. 
 
(3:10pm)
It's not like I was doing it while my teacher was talking. And don't you text
during class?
(3:20pm)
Yeah, I got you there.
 
(3:30pm)
Nice try but no. I was helping a student with an assignment.
(3:31pm)
I'm the teacher. I'm the one with the power remember? I can text if I feel like
it.
 
 
(3:32pm)
Yeah yeah yeah. Go grade some papers or something.
 
(3:35pm)
Nah, it's more fun to annoy you. 
 
(3:36pm)
Sometimes I think I'm the adult in this relationship.
 
(3:36pm)
:p
 
(3:37pm)
My point exactly. 
 
 
Wed_16_Oct
 
(11:01am)
I'm so into this story right now.
(11:02pm)
So much tension and they don't even know it.
 
(11:55am)
What are you reading?
 
(11:55am)
Just a little something I found on your laptop.
 
(11:57am)
Laura what are you doing on my laptop? How did you even get into my apartment?
 
(12:00pm)
I made a copy of your key when we were at the mall. 
(12:01pm)
OH MY GOD HE MENTIONED STUDENT TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS.
(12:01pm)
This is the best thing to happen to me all week.
 
(12:03pm)
Laura seriously what are you reading?
(12:03pm)
Wait
(12:04pm)
LAURA GET OFF MY COMPUTER.
 
 
To Stiles
(12:15pm)
I take it back, my sister is awful.
Chapter End Notes
     So who is loving Laura so far? She's probably the most fun to write.
     Ok we're looking at another Saturday or Sunday update for chapter 4.
     Until then I look forward to comments and kudos!
***** DFF *****
Chapter Summary
     So gay, so so gay.
Chapter Notes
     AHHHH Ok. Thanks for the notes and kudos! You guys are amazing :)
     This chapter had a good chunk of time dedicated to it so I hope you
     like it!!!! Also warning, there are gifs. Hope that doesn't hurt the
     experience for anyone.
     Stiles is italicized
     Derek is bold
     Scott is normal
     Laura is red
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Fri_18_Oct
 
(12:01pm)
Someone needs to tell the school district pizza is not a food group. 
(12:02pm)
I mean, we live in California. We are SURROUNDED by fresh produce.
 
(12:03pm)
Bring your own food?
 
(12:03pm)
You're an educator. You should be looking out for your students. 
 
(12:04pm)
Yeah, MY students. I don't have to do anything for you.
 
(12:07pm)
I thought you cared about me.
(12:07pm)
I thought we had a connection.
 
(12:12pm)
I thought you weren't gay.
 
(12:15pm)
Only for you ;)
 
 
Sat_19_Oct
 
(10:00am)
How's dick boy?
(10:11am)
You really need to stop calling him that.
 
(10:12am)
How about jailbait?
(10:12am)
OH! DFF.
 
(10:13am)
DFF?
 
(10:14am)
Derek's Future Fuck
(10:23am)
No?
 
Derek (10:25am)
 
Laura (10:30am)
 
 
Mon_21_Oct
 
(9:00am)
How was your weekend?
 
(2:00pm)
Dune
 
(2:01pm)
???
 
(2:07pm)
Sorry, in ceramics. Hands were dirty. 
(2:08pm)
My weekend was fine. Uneventful. 
 
(2:08pm)
I thought I told you no texting in class. 
 
(2:09pm)
You aren't my teacher :p
(2:10pm)
Besides, it's ceramics. My teacher doesn't care. He's high half the time
anyway. 
 
(2:15pm)
I highly doubt that.
 
(3:45pm)
Heh, highly. 
 
(3:47pm)
Where have you been?
 
(3:49pm)
I may have gotten detention for texting.
 
(3:50pm)
Serves you right. 
  
(3:55pm)
Oh really? For that you get no texting for the rest of the week.
 
(3:56pm)
Oh what a hardship. 
 
(3:56pm)
Oh look at that. You just lost the weekend too. 
 
(4:00pm)
Oh please don't go. What will I do without you?
 
(4:01pm)
Idk, let's find out.
 
 
Sat_26_Oct
 
(2:00pm)
I'm borreeddd.
(2:05pm)
What are you doing right now?
(2:10pm)
Scottttt
(2:17pm)
Pay attention to me.
(2:25pm)
Come on man. If you don't text me back I'll have to resort to Facebook stalking
Lydia again and I'm going to send you all my depressing thoughts. 
 
(2:26pm)
wht? i'm hanging out with kira
(2:27pm)
why don't u text mystery dude? 
 
(2:27pm)
Because I refuse to give in. 
(2:28pm)
We haven't had bro time in like a week man.
(2:30pm) 
Come onnnnnnn. 
 
(2:32pm)
yeah ok. come over at 5. mom is making spaghetti.
 
(2:33pm)
YES! Carbs are my favorite.
 
 
Sun_27_Oct
 
(8:20am)
And you said I couldn't even grow a cactus
(8:21am)
(8:21am)
These beg to differ. 
 
(8:24am)
Omg you have house plants?
(8:24am)
And you're proud of them? That's adorable.
 
(8:25am)
Shit, I meant to text my sister.
(8:26am)
They're herbs. At least they have practical use. 
 
(8:26am)
It's cool. I can't grow shit so props to you.
 
(8:28am)
I thought you weren't going to text me until Monday. 
 
(8:29am)
Eh, I think I've tortured you long enough. 
(8:31am)
You probably staged this whole thing. You texted me your indoor garden because
you know that shit is cute as fuck and I wouldn't be able to resist. 
(8:32am) 
If you missed me you could have just said so. 
 
(8:35am)
Yes, that's it. I just couldn't stand being apart from you any longer. 
(8:35am)
Seriously, like I'd ever expect a 17yo to be up at 8am on a Sunday. 
 
(8:37am)
I carbo loaded. Passed out early on my friends floor. 
(8:38am)
Surprisingly comfortable. 
(8:40am)
 
(9:00am)
What's the difference between baking soda and baking powder?
(9:01am) 
I don't want to fuck up these pancakes.
 
(9:02am)
Use baking powder.
(9:02am)
Baking soda is used more for cakes. 
 
(9:10am)
Thanks. 
 
(9:12am)
No problem. I like to cook. 
(9:30am)
 
(9:32am)
(9:33am)
Martha Stewart has nothing on us. 
 
 
(9:45am)
And you said I couldn't even grow a cactus
(9:47am)
(9:48am)
I beg to differ.
 
(9:52am)
Derek, herbs are like weeds. They don't really take much to stay alive.
 
(9:53am)
Why can't you just give me this? This one thing. 
 
(9:53am)
Fine. Congratulations Derek. You can grow chives.  
 
(9:55am)
You know what? I'll take it. Thank you Laura. 
 
(9:58am)
So has DFF texted you yet?
(10:05am)
God Derek. Ok, has the youth texted you?
 
Derek (10:06am)
Derek (10:08am)

 
(10:10am)
I see he's had a really great influence on you.
(10:10am)
Tell DFF I said hello.
 
Derek (10:11am)
 
(10:11am)
Go water your fucking herbs.  
 
 
Tues_29_Oct
 
(5:00pm)
Thank fucking christ educators week is the same week as Halloween. 
 
(5:01pm)
ikr? lydias party is going 2B amazing. kiras parents are out of town 2 so ;)
 
(5:02pm)
I'm just glad I finally got invited to one of her parties. I only live fucking
3 blocks away. 
 
(5:03pm)
u did kind of stalk her for like a yr 
 
(5:03pm)
I DIDN"T STALK HER. 
(5:04pm)
I was trying to Say Anything her. I just never got the guts to actually do it. 
(5:05pm)
Plus that was six years ago. I'm past that now.
 
(5:06pm)
apprntly so is she. so get a fucking costume and get ready to party!
 
(5:08pm)
Calm down Scott. This isn't American pie. 
 
(5:09pm)
Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our
sexual destiny.
 
(5:10pm)
And on that note, I'm going to browse Tumblr until 4am. Adios. 
 
 
Thurs_31_Oct
 
(12:30pm)
What do you think?
(12:32pm)
 
(12:33pm)
Cool?
(12:33pm)
What is it?
 
(12:34pm)
It's a flower crown. 
 
(12:34pm)
???
 
(12:35pm)
You're kidding me right?
(12:35pm)
It was like the biggest meme of the summer. 
 
(12:37pm)
I'm sorry I didn't keep up with internet phenomena over break. 
(12:38pm)
I was busy having a life. 
 
(12:39pm)
I think that's just an excuse. You don't have friends. What were you doing?
Being your sisters bitch?
 
Derek (12:42pm)
 
Stiles (12:44pm)
 
(12:45pm)
Haha not bad. 
(12:46pm)
So why do you have a flower crown?
 
(12:46pm)
It's part of my costume. I'm going as the Summer of 2013. 
 
(12:47pm)
Ok then. 
 
(12:50pm)
It was cheap and easy to put together ok? Plus I look really cute in this crown
so I'm guaranteed to at least make out with a one girl tonight. 
(12:50pm)
Don't get too jealous. 
 
(12:51pm)
I'll try not too.
 
 
Fri_1_Nov
 
(9:00am)
*voicemail received*
"Heyyyyy stranger. S'no one get's my costume. Is that hard to figure out?
SUMMER 2013! Flower crown. Keep yelling JAVERT. Whas not to get? *sighs* Ok i'm
gonna go. WAIT. I didn't kiss a girl. Jus so you know. Ok. night *kissing
noise*"
*voicemail over*
 
"Stiles? ...shit."
 
Chapter End Notes
     Heheheh Derek knows, but what will he do with that information? Stay
     tuned.
     I actually made the flower crowns that the cast wore at Comic Con.
     It's one of my crowning (lol) achievements from last summer. So that
     pic is actually mine from when I dropped them off to the guy who
     brought them to the cast. I had better photos but I think I lost them
     all when my computer crashed :(
     Things are going to get a little hectic because finals are coming up
     and I'm graduating at the beginning of May. So I'm warning you now,
     updates may be a little sporadic from now until June.
     <3
***** You got it, dude *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey guys <3 Love all the comments I'm getting lately. I do reply to a
     lot of them so check the comment section if you're ever bored. I tend
     to provide some long answers.
     ALSO I mentioned this a few times to some readers but I want you guys
     to know that one of the reasons I love writing in this format is
     because YOU get to come up with your own ideas of what happens in
     between some of these text convos. I like leaving a lot of that up to
     interpretation and speculation so please let your minds roam about
     what they all do outside of their phones. If you ask me what I think
     happened in between convos I will definitely have my own ideas but it
     isn't canon unless I explicitly say it is. I might write a few one
     shots and drabbles on my Tumblr when this fic is over and those would
     be canon but as for right now, if it's not written down in the fic
     it's not canon (again, unless i explicitly say it is).
     my tumblr: bethesound.tumblr.com
     fic tag: wrong number sterek
     You can also tag it with bethesound
     This is kind of short filler chapter but provides some context for
     chapter 6. ENJOY!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Fri_1_Nov
 
(9:23am)
How are you feeling? 
(9:25am)
You sounded pretty out of it in your voicemail. 
(9:25am)
Hope today isn't too rough on you. 
 
Outgoing Calls
Mystery Texter  (2) 3:12am
MA, USA
 
(12:13pm)
Please dig a grave for me to fall into. 
 
(12:17pm)
That bad huh?
 
(12:17pm)
I vomited on the floor and then rolled into it. 
 
(12:18pm)
I shouldn't laugh, I really shouldn't. 
(12:18pm)
But I am. 
 
(12:30pm)
You are so mean.
(12:30pm)
So mean.  
 
(12:32pm)
Diner food and coconut water. You'll be back to normal in no time.
 
(12:33pm)
Shower first, food later. 
  
(12:33pm)
Good plan.
 
 
(12:35pm)
I CALLED HIM.
(12:35pm)
I CALLED HIM AND LEFT A FUCKING VOICEMAIL.
(12:36pm)
What if it's super embarrassing Scott?
(12:36pm)
What if I talked about my stuffed animal collection?
(12:37pm)
WHAT IF SCOTT?!
(12:40pm)
I'm going to wash away my shame now.
 
 
(1:01pm)
I'm going to call you about something and I need you to promise not to be an
asshole. 
 
(1:02pm)
Yeah, I definitely can't make that promise.
 
*incoming call* 
 
What's up baby bro?
 
I'm 28 years old Laura. You can stop calling me baby bro any day now. 
 
I'll think about it. So what did you want to talk to me about?
 
He called me.
 
Who did?
 
*pause*
 
Oh my god, what did he say?!
 
He left a drunk voicemail. Rambled on about his halloween costume... *mumbles*
and told me he didn't kiss any girls. 
 
What was that?
 
He, ugh, he told me he didn't kiss any girls. 
 
WHAT?! WHY DID HE TELL YOU THAT?! That's so fucking cute. 
 
It's not cute.
 
It is cute. Shut up Derek.
 
Laura, I uh-
 
What?
 
He's um...he's my student. 
 
Can you give me a second?
 
Ok I guess. 
 
*Laura screaming in the background*
 
Ok, so what are you going to do about it?
 
I texted him this morning. Acted like everything was normal. 
 
Do you think it's a good idea to keep texting him? Derek if he finds out who
you are and tells anyone you can be in deep shit.
 
It's texting Laura. He's not blowing me in the teachers lounge. 
 
Yes...
 
What?
 
Oh, were you done? I thought you were going to get into detail.
 
Focus Laura. 
 
Ok, sorry. Just slowly cut off communication. It'll seem more natural that way.
 
Like how? 
 
Shorter texts. Sparse it out over a few weeks. Eventually just don't text him
back. 
 
Yeah, yeah ok that might work. 
 
This is so disappointing. I really wanted  this relationship to last. 
 
Can't always get what we want Laura.
 
Apparently not. Go cook or something. Get your mind off this.
 
Thanks Laura. 
 
No problem little bro.
 
*call has ended*
 
 
(4:37pm)
why do u care what he thinks?
(4:37pm)
he's just some rndm guy you text
 
(5:00pm)
I don't care. But no one should have to deal with my ramblings about mr fuzzy
bear.
 
(5:01pm)
awww but you love mr fuzzy bear
 
(5:01pm)
Well duh but he doesn't need to know that.
 
(5:05pm)
im sure MT doesn't care
 
(5:06pm)
MT?
 
(5:06pm)
mystery texter
(5:07pm)
we talk abt him so much i thought i'd shorten it
 
(5:07pm)
We don't talk about him THAT much. 
 
(5:08pm)
stiles on wed you spent 20min telling me what u thought he might look like
(5:08pm)
and at the party last night u told every girl who tried to kiss u during spin
the bottle, "You are not worthy. Only he is worthy."
 
(5:09pm)
That makes absolutely no sense. You must have heard me wrong.
 
(5:10pm)
i understood u fine
 
(5:11pm)
I was drunk. No one makes sense when they're drunk.
 
(5:11pm)
uh huh, sure
 
(5:12pm)
Whatever. Halo 3 later?
 
(5:13pm)
can't. got a history report due on mon and i'm going to my dads tmrrw. 
 
(5:15pm)
Boo, you whore.
 
(5:15pm)
ttyl stiles
 
(5:16pm)
ughhhh 
(5:16pm)
Talk to you later. 
 
 
Sun_3_Nov
 
(8:00pm)
So what did I say in that voicemail?
(8:00pm)
Did I tell you about all the girls I made out with? 
(8:01pm)
So many girls. 
 
(8:01pm)
Nothing important.
 
(8:02pm)
It was crazy how many girls I kissed.
(8:02pm)
Oh, okay cool. 
 
(8:03pm)
Don't worry about it. You just told me about how people didn't get your
costume.
(8:04pm) 
And maybe something about not kissing anyone.
 
(8:05pm)
Of course I did. 
(8:07pm)
I just have to go drown myself now. Bye.
 
(8:07pm)
It's ok. Sounded like you were having fun. 
 
(8:10pm)
Yeah it wasn't bad. I mean, it would have been nice to kiss someone though.
 
(8:11pm)
Hooking up with random strangers while drunk isn't as fun as it sounds.
 
(8:12pm)
I just want it to happen already you know?
 
(8:12pm)
It'll happen one day. Sex shouldn't be rushed.
 
(8:13pm)
Dude woah. I was just talking about kissing.
 
(8:14pm)
You've never kissed anyone?
 
(8:15pm)
I mean, the opportunity has presented itself but I always fuck it up. 
 
(8:16pm)
You just have to relax and let it happen. Don't over think it. A great kiss is
about passion so just let everything go and lean in. 
 
(8:16pm)
Well fuck. Maybe you should kiss me.
(8:17pm)
Sigh, the teenage life.
 
(8:20pm)
I hate to break it to you but life does not get any easier or less dramatic. 
 
(8:21pm)
You are the worst adult. Aren't you supposed to tell me it gets better?
 
(8:21pm)
You get to eat whatever you want whenever you want and there's no one around to
tell you to clean your room. So yeah, adulthood has it's perks. 
(8:23pm)
It's also hell at times. But I will take it any day over being back in high
school.
 
(8:24pm)
And yet you're a high school teacher. 
 
(8:24pm)
Karma I guess. I was an awful student. Once set fire to the chem lab. 
 
(8:25pm)
I used the schools woodshop to saw a teachers desk in half my freshman year.
 
     Unsent Message
     (8:26pm)
     THAT WAS YOU? IT RUINED THE BLADE AND I HAD TO PAY $300 OUT OF POCKET.
 
(8:27pm)
I have no response to that so I'm just going to finish my lesson plan for the
week.
 
(8:27pm)
Fine. I'm going to pretend to do my homework and browse wikipedia for a while.
 
(8:28pm)
Do your homework. 
 
(8:29pm)
Maybe. 
 
(8:29pm)
>:(
 
(8:30pm)
Ok ok yeah I'll do it. 
 
(8:31pm)
Thank you.
 
(8:31pm)
Chapter End Notes
     oh Derek, what have you gotten yourself into.
     Kudos and Comments <3
     I wanted to let you guys know that I've been working on a fic with my
     friend Becca for the past few weeks. We've put a lot of work into it
     and I'm super excited for the first chapter to come out, which should
     be by the end of this week. So get excited for that!
     Until next chapter...
***** Shit happens *****
Chapter Summary
     There's a lot of feelings happening
Chapter Notes
     Kind of hit a slump for a while there. Had to deal with some real
     life shit.
     Anyway...
     Thank you guys for all the encouragement in the comments! Seriously
     made this chapter so fulfilling to write. I'm actually super proud of
     this chapter because it deals with some issues that definitely hit
     close to home for me and I feel will for a few of you too. But it's
     not like really sad, it's just deep I guess.
     I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
      
     Stiles is italicized
     Derek is bold
     Scott is normal
     Laura is red
      
     bethesound.tumblr.com
     tag: wrong number sterek, bethesound
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Wed_6_Nov
 
(11:25am)
Hale has lost it.
 
(11:28am)
what happened?
 
(11:30am)
I went to ask him a question. He was facing opposite of me. When I said his
name he fucking whips around and knocks over ALL of the freshman projects.
(11:31am)
Not that it really matters because freshman projects are shit but still. He's a
fucking mess right now.
 
(11:31am)
damn that's rough
 
(11:31am)
Did I tell you about detention yesterday?
 
(11:32am)
uh maybe? cant remember
 
(11:33am)
Ok so I was sitting in the back because ya know, Harris was on detention duty
and he fucking hates me.
 
(11:33am)
with good reason
 
(11:34am)
Whatever. Hale walks in to grab a few kids to clean up the woodshop and I'm
like, yeah no. I put my head down and act like I'm doing homework when Harris
just shows up at my desk.
(11:36am)
At this point I think he's just going to make some snide remark about how I'm
in detention again but NO. He says, "Stiles. Mr. Hale needs someone to help
change the blades out of some of the machines and since you're the only one
taking woodshop in here you get to help him."
(11:37am)
Which was total bullshit because Erica was in there and she takes woodshop too.
Harris is totally sexist and I hate him. But anyway, he physically removes me
from my chair and pulls me out of the classroom and shuts the door.
 
(11:38am)
stiles ur writing a novel rn. aren't u in class?
 
(11:38am)
We're doing a lab and Greenberg is doing most of the work.
(11:39am) 
So I get to the woodshop and no Hale in sight. Just two kids from detention
sweeping the floors. I guess he had gone to grab something from his office so I
head over to the garage.
(11:40am)
I get there and it's completely empty. Like, I've never heard it so quiet in
there. Usually there's at least one kid trying to recreate an Impala or
whatever.
 
(11:40am)
stiles skip to the end please
 
(11:41am)
I'm almost there just hold on.
 
(11:41am)
I open up his office to see if he was there and HE WAS NAKED.
 
(11:42am)
WHAT?!!!
 
(11:42am)
Ok he had boxers on but like, basically naked.
 
(11:43am)
holy shit. what did he say?

(11:43am)
He just yelled for me to get out. I shut the door and left. Didn't even bother
to go back to detention.
 
(11:44am)
omfg
(11:44am)
dudes prob traumatized
 
(11:44am)
He's traumatized?! I SAW MY TEACHER IN BOXER BRIEFS.
(11:45am)
I mean, if I was going to see any teacher naked it would be him.
(11:45am)
Because at least he's young and like, fit.
 
(11:46am)
please, tell me about how NOT gay u are again
 
(11:46am)
besides the point here man
 
(11:48am)
what exactly is the point?
 
(11:48am)
That he's losing it!
 
(11:49am)
bcuse he tipped over some projects? i think he'll be fine.
 
(11:50am)
Well um, he may also have gotten his shirt sleeve caught in one of the
grinders. And it ripped it off...
 
(11:50am)
i thought ur not supposed to have long sleeves in the shop?
 
(11:51am)
Now do you see my point?
 
(11:51am)
damn hale. 1 student sees u naked and u fall apart. dude has issues.
 
(11:52am)
Apparently.
(11:52am)
Ok see you at lunch man.
 
(11:52am)
yup
 
 
(11:55am)
*incoming call* 
 
Hello, this is Dr. Hale.  
 
Laura it's me. 
 
Oh, hey. What's up?
 
Are you busy right now?
 
I have like three patients waiting for me but yeah I have a minute. 
 
How did you ever get a medical license?
 
My charming personality obviously. So why are you calling during school hours?
Did he catch you showering this time?
 
I regret ever telling you that. But no,  I need a shirt. 
 
Should I even ask why?
 
My sleeve got caught in one of the machines and it ripped off. 
 
Why were you wearing long sleeves in the shop?
 
I just had an off morning ok? Can you please bring me a new shirt during your
lunch hour? 
 
Can't. I have a meeting.

*grunt*
 
Just grab something from the lost and found.  
 
Laura have you seen what teenagers wear today? That's not happening. 
 
Do what you gotta do. I have to get back to work. Good luck.
 
Yeah, thanks. 
  
 
 
(11:00pm)
Why can't a guy say another guy is attractive without someone calling him gay?
 
(11:11pm)
Does it matter? Being called gay shouldn't be an insult. 
 
(11:12pm)
I'm not saying it's an insult. It's just that girls say other girls are hot all
the time but they aren't called out for it. Why is it different for guys?
 
(11:14pm)
I think you already know the answer to that. 
 
(11:14pm)
Yeah, I just think it's stupid. 
 
(11:15pm)
So don't let it get to you. There's nothing wrong with thinking another guy is
attractive. 
(11:16pm)
And it's not the end of the world if you like a guy. Shit happens. 
 
(11:20pm)
Sounds like you're talking from experience. 
(11:24pm)
I'm sorry. That's none of my business. 
 
(11:30pm)
You're right. It's not. 
(11:30pm) 
But yeah. I've come to terms with who I am. 
(11:31pm)
Sometimes I date girls and sometimes I don't. 
 
(11:32pm)
Oh, ok cool.
(11:32pm)
I mean like whatever makes you happy man. 
(11:34pm)
So...
 
(11:35pm)
So
 
(11:36pm)
What's that like?
 
(11:36pm)
What's what like?
 
(11:37pm)
You know...
 
(11:37pm)
I don't know actually. 
 
(11:38pm)
Being with a guy, when you're also a guy.
 
(11:38pm)
Google it.
 
(11:39pm)
Come on. I'm not asking for details. I'm just curious.
 
(11:44pm)
It's different, but in a good way. There's familiarity there because you both
have the same mechanics.
(11:45pm)
The most complicated part is figuring out who's going to do what but once
that's out of the way it's pretty great. Obviously you're not going to hit it
out of the park with every person but when it's good it's really good. 
 
(11:46pm)
So, how do you figure out who does what?
 
(11:47pm)
Sometimes it's obvious and you just know. Other times you might wrestle for
dominance.  Then there's the rare occurrence when you both prefer the same
thing and you come up with alternate ways to get off. 
 
(11:48pm)
So what do you prefer?
 
(11:50pm)
Wouldn't you like to know.
(11:51pm)
What brought this on anyway? Something happen?
 
(11:53pm)
Sort of. I accidentally saw someone I know naked, well almost naked. 
 
(11:57pm)
How did that make you feel?
 
(11:57pm)
Well Dr. Phil, it happened pretty fast so I don't really think it made me feel
anything.
(11:58pm)
But I was telling my best friend about it and he implied that I was gay. He
does that a lot actually.
 
(11:59pm)
Maybe that's his way of telling you he'd be cool with it?
 
(11:59pm)
It's annoying though because it happens all the time. Like, it's my life and my
feelings you know? I don't need someone constantly questioning my sexuality.
 
(12:00am)
If it bothers you that much then talk to him about it. You guys have known each
other for a long time right? Just be honest with him. 
 
(12:02am)
What if he wants to like REALLY talk about it though? Like a serious talk. 
 
(12:03am)
Would that be so bad? 
 
(12:03am)
Maybe. 
 
(12:04am)
Are you scared about what he'll say or what you'll say?
 
(12:05am)
Both. 
 
(12:07am)
I'm going to ask you a personal question and you don't have to answer if you
don't want ok?
 
(12:07am)
Ok
 
(12:08am)
Did you find that guy you saw naked attractive? 
 
(12:08am)
Well, yeah I mean he's a fit guy.
(12:09am)
Was that it? Cause I kind of already told you that. 
 
(12:09am)
I mean like, sexually attractive. 
 
(12:12am)
Can I be honest?
 
(12:12am)
That's kind of the point here. 
 
(12:13am)
Yes. 
(12:13am)
And that's fucking terrifying. 
 
(12:15am)
The first time I ever thought of a guy like that I was scared shitless.
(12:16am)
I kept thinking, what if people find out? What would my friends think? Would my
family disown me? And all I did was THINK about another guy that way. 
 
(12:16am)
So what happened?
 
(12:17am)
I talked to a friend about it and he didn't take it so well. He told everyone
at school. I thought my life was going to end. But then it didn't. 
(12:18am)
Most of my friends were actually pretty cool about it. And when I told Laura
she hugged me and said she was proud of who I was. People can surprise you if
you let them. 
 
(12:19am)
Ok I'll think about it.
(12:20am)
Thank you for talking to me about this. I would talk to my dad but, ya know.
 
(12:21am)
Everyone needs someone to hash this stuff out with. Even if it's just some guy
you text occasionally. 
 
(12:22am)
I wouldn't say you're just some guy anymore.
(12:22am)
Friends maybe?
 
(12:23am)
I can live with that :)
 
 
Text from Laura at (12:01am)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEREK!
 
(12:25am)
So far it's the best one yet. 
 
Chapter End Notes
     Hehehhehehehehhehehehehehhehe yeah
     So a few things:
     1. My headcanon is that Stiles was just as spastic as Derek was that
     morning and he's talking about Derek's nervousness to Scott as a
     deflection sort off. If that makes sense.
     2. I am aware that at first Stiles acts like seeing Derek naked was
     nothing (when texting Derek) and then later says it did. I think he
     was trying to avoid the serious talk for a second but then decided he
     did actually want to talk about it when Derek opened up to him.
     3. Yes, Derek is being really open and honest here but (AND I'M
     STATING THIS AS CANON) he feels like Stiles doesn't have anyone else
     to come to about this. Since it's something he's been through he puts
     his insecurities and nervousness aside for a bit to have a serious
     talk with Stiles. He knows this is getting into dangerous territory,
     talking to a student bluntly about sex and sexuality, but he knew he
     had to be as honest and open as possible to get through to Stiles so
     that's what he did.
      
     So school ends next week. Think positive thoughts for me. I'd really
     like to graduate. I'm thinking an update will happen maybe in like 2
     weeks. Probably right after graduation.
     comments and kudos appreciated
     <3 you guys
***** It has finally happened *****
Chapter Notes
     First of all I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out.
     After graduation I started to pack my shit up to move and then I
     actually moved and then I had to start getting my apartment together.
     All in all it's just been a busy time. But today I forced myself to
     finish this before I head off to do errands.
     I hope you like the chapter. I have a lot planned from this moment
     forward so enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Fri_15_Nov
 
(7:45am)
Thundercats are ago. 
 
(7:46am)
i told u im not doing it
 
(7:46am)
Come on! We're supposed to be a team. 
 
(7:48am)
we're one semester away from graduating. im not fucking up now. 
 
(7:49am)
$20 and I'll do your college fiction essay. 
 
(7:50am)
and one large pepperoni pizza
 
(7:50am)
Deal
 
 
 
(11:55am)
 
(12:07pm)
Why
 
(12:07pm)
You know, I asked myself that and honestly couldn't come up with an answer. 
 
(12:08pm)
I mean, solid craftsmanship but ow.
 
(12:08pm)
Oh. Oh my god. 
(12:09pm)
I never actually thought of someone using it. 
 
(12:10pm)
So who made it?
 
(12:11pm) 
Not sure. My class left and when I turned around it was just there. I have an
idea of who it was though.
 
(12:12pm)
Could it be? Dick boy himself.
 
(12:13pm)
There's just so much wrong with this situation. 
 
(12:13pm)
Or is everything oh so right? ;)
 
(12:14pm)
What happened to you not wanting me involved with him anymore?
 
(12:15pm)
I gave you my advice. You didn't listen. So I'm making the best of the
situation.
(12:15pm)
For myself, not for you.
 
(12:17pm)
What should I do with it?
 
(12:17pm)
...
 
(12:18pm)
BYE 
 
(12:18pm)
 
 
 
Sat_16_Nov
 
(9:37pm)
Hello friend
 
(9:39pm)
Hi
(9:45pm)
Was there something you needed?
 
(9:45pm)
Can't a friend say hello without needing something?
 
(9:46pm)
I don't know. Can they?
 
(9:47pm)
Someone's in a grumpy mood.
 
(9:48pm)
Not grumpy, just busy. 
 
(9:48pm)
Come on. Take a 5min break. 
(9:49pm)
For me? ;)
 
(9:51pm)
5min. That's all you get. 
 
(9:51pm)
YES! 
(9:52pm)
So how are you? How was your week? 
 
(9:52pm)
It was fine. A little weird, but fine. How was your week?
 
(9:53pm) 
It was good. Also a little weird, but good. 
(9:53pm)
Have any plans this weekend? 
 
(9:54pm)
Grading. Making lesson plans. That's probably 90% of my weekend. 
 
(9:54pm)
That doesn't sound like any fun. Maybe you could finish OINTB. 
 
(9:55pm)
Already did. I started Supernatural. 
 
(9:55pm)
OMG OMG OMG 
(9:55pm)
What season are you on? Are you on season 4 yet? Have you met Cas?
 
(9:56pm)
I'm still on season 2. Who's Cas?
 
(9:56pm)
God this is like the best thing to happen to me all week. 
(9:57pm)
Ok so *SPOILER ALERT* Castiel (Cas) is an angel who raises Dean from hell.
That's when angels are introduced to the series.  He's such a badass. Like
hands down favorite character. He's awkward and totally doesn't understand
humans half the time but he's smart and loyal and him and Dean have a profound
bond.
(9:58pm)
He's also hot as fuck. I've decided I can say this now that my gay freak out is
over. 
 
(9:59pm)
Ok so this show gets way more intense then. Got it. 
 
(10:00pm)
God you don't even know man. Angels become such a huge plot point. You'll
eventually get to a point when those hunting trip episodes are filler episodes.
Like, they'll bore you. 
 
(10:01pm)
I don't know, I kind of think the werewolf episode was cool. 
 
(10:01pm)
Ugh you would like werewolves. 
 
(10:02pm)
What, are you into vampires?
 
(10:02pm)
Idk. I could be into biting ;)
 
(10:03pm)
Werewolves bite too. 
 
(10:03pm)
Hmm you have a point. But if that whole higher body temperature thing is real I
couldn't deal with that. 
 
(10:04pm)
I could see it coming "handy" in certain situations. 
(10:08pm)
You still there? 
 
(10:09pm) 
Yeah sorry. Just had to take a leak. 
(10:09pm)
I see I'm over my 5min limit so I'll let you get back to work. Talk to you
soon?
 
(10:10pm)
Yeah I'll talk to you later. 
 
 
 
Tues_19_Nov
 
(11:57am)
 
(11:59am)
Again? 
 
(12:00pm)
It was on my chair this time. 
 
(12:00pm)
Did you enjoy it?
 
*incoming call*
 
You are the absolute worst sister. 
 
Lies. I'm amazing.
 
I'm not even sure what to do about it. I mean, I'm pretty sure Stiles is behind
this but I have no evidence. 
 
I'm sure he wouldn't mind getting behind you.
 
Stunned into silence. Love it. 
 
You know what? Go torture Cora for a change. 
 
She's off in Brazil or something right now. You're all I have Derek. 
 
That's so comforting. Thanks.
 
You're welcome. 
 
I'm going back to work. 
 
Have fun "working" Derek.
 
*call ended*
 
 
(11:19pm)
can we be done now?
 
(11:20pm)
I only have one more left man. He's going to crack. I just need one more day.
 
(11:20pm)
fine but im getting double pepperoni
 
(11:21pm)
Yeah yeah whatever. 
 
 
Wed_20_Nov
 
(12:00pm)
 
(12:01pm)
It came with a note that said "Don't you forget about me"
(12:01pm)
I just..
 
(12:05pm)
OMG WTF IS THAT?! 
(12:05pm)
It looks like a freaking croissant.
(12:05pm)
I expected better from Stiles. This is disappointing.
(12:06pm)
The note is a nice touch though.
 
(12:06pm)
I just don't understand it. Does he know who I am? Is this his way of trying to
get me to admit it? Cause if so he does not understand how much I can put up
with. 
(12:06pm)
I have Lydia Martin as a student. I sit there everyday getting lectured about
safety from a 17 year old girl. I can handle a few dildos.
 
(12:07pm)
Lydia's the red head right? She's hot.
(12:10pm)
Ok ok. Just don't react to him. He'll get bored and move on to someone else.
 
(12:11pm)
Hopefully yeah. At least I know it's Stiles now. I saw him running away from my
door after I found it. 
(12:11pm)
Ok lunch is almost over. I'll talk to you later.
 
(12:12pm)
 
 
Thurs_21_Nov
 
(9:22pm)
I just don't understand.
(9:22pm)
Nothing. I got NOTHING out of him. 
 
(9:23pm)
we talked about this the entire lunch period
(9:23pm)
can we PLEASE talk about somethin else?
 
(9:24pm)
No. This really bothers me man. Maybe I should try something else. 
 
(9:25pm)
knock urself out but im not gonna be apart of it this time
 
(9:25pm)
You're no fun. 
 
(9:26pm)
kira's calling. adios.
 
 
Fri_22_Nov
 
(11:53am)
Laura
(11:54am)
It has happened
 
(11:55am)
What has happened?
 
(11:55am)
I'm so disturbed. Like, this is not ok. 
 
(11:56am)
Seriously Derek, what happened?
 
(11:56am)
 
(11:58am)

(11:58am)
Ok I definitely underestimated him. This was the perfect ending. The piece de
la resistance.
 
(11:59am)
I feel like I should burn it. 
(12:00pm)
Yeah I'm gonna burn it. 
 
(12:01pm)
Stop being over dramatic.
(12:01pm)
Omg what if it's modeled after him?
 
(12:02pm)
GO AWAY RIGHT NOW. 
 
(12:02pm)
*brushes off shoulders* my work here is done. 
 
 
(3:00pm)
HE SCREAMED. ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY SCREAMED.
(3:01pm)
It was so worth it just for that. 
 
(3:03pm)
im literally vomiting in a toilet right now 
(3:03pm)
go away
 
(3:04pm)
Fine. Text me when you stop vomiting. 
 
 
Sun_24_Nov 
 
(10:01am)
You are my sunshine my only sunshine. You make happy when skies are grey. 
 
(10:05am)
No.

(10:06am)
No what?
 
(10:06am)
No to everything. 
 
(10:07am)
What's wrong?
 
(10:08am)
Worst hangover ever. 
 
(10:09am)
Aww poor baby. Need someone to help you through it?
 
(10:10am)
Ugh shut up Stiles. 
 
*incoming call*
 
How do you know my name?
 
*call ended*
 
Shit
Chapter End Notes
     dun dun dunnnnnnn
     FINALLY i'm at the point where derek revealed he knows who stiles is.
     i have so much planned for how stiles is going to figure out who
     derek is and then how they deal with it after. I have no idea when
     the next chapter will be. I'm job hunting which is a job within
     itself.
     Until next time!
***** Do Not Moon Walk Away From Me *****
Chapter Summary
     filler chapter idk i'm sorry
Chapter Notes
     hahaha hi i'm an awful person for making you wait this long and then
     giving you a short chapter
     *moonwalks away*
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Sun_24_Nov
 
(10:15am) 
 
I'm screwed. 
 
Probably yeah. 
 
Laura you're supposed to be helpful here. 
 
What do you want me to say? You fucked up. 
 
Fuck Siri. Fuck my life. Why did I say his name? I'm incredibly stupid. 
 
You're going to have to cut this off I think. I mean the only other option you
have to is tell him who you are, which I don't think you want to do. 
 
Maybe he'll let it go if I ask him too. 
 
From what I know that really isn't his style.
 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ok. I'll just stop texting him. Eventually he'll take the
hint right? 
 
We can only hope. 
 
*voicemail received*
 
You would be one of those people who doesn't customize their voicemail.  I bet
you don't even know how. Oh if you haven't figured it out yet this is Stiles.
Yup. Stiles Stilinski, the one and only. I think. I can't imagine anyone else
has this name. Anyway, you should call me so we can talk...or whatever. Ok
then. Adios. 
 
*voicemail over*
 
 
 
(9:00pm)
My guess is Mr. Rockland. 
 
(9:01pm)
the psych teacher? idk man. isn't he like 35? 
 
(9:01pm)
Oh yeah. They had that surprise birthday thing in class last semester. 
 
(9:02pm)
what abt hale?
 
(9:02pm)
God I wish. But there's no way Hale would text me about him having sex with
dudes. 
 
(9:03pm)
OMG WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!
(9:10pm)
ur thinking abt hale having sex with a guy aren't u?
 
(9:11pm)
I'm so glad you're cool about the gay thing ;)
 
(9:12pm)
u know mostly im just happy ur not talking about lydia anymore
 
(9:12pm)
I'm still totally in love with Lydia but I'm on a specific path right now so
she's on the bench so to speak. 
 
(9:13pm)
while u ponder who mystery dude is im gonna get some homework done. talk tmmrw?
 
(9:13pm)
Yeah man. Talk to you tomorrow. 
 
 
Mon_25_Nov 
 
(6:15am)
Can I get a pass to work in the woodshop today? I don't have anything else to
do in study hall. 
(6:25am)
No? Ok um...hmmm teachers who are under 30 and male. 
(6:28am)
Are you making freshmen do the mile in December again? That was just pure
torture. 
(7:00am)
You know I'll figure it out eventually right? 
 
 
(10:00am) 
No luck so far. He's ignoring my texts. 
 
(10:30am)
well u know my theory
 
(10:31am)
I'm still on the far end of no on that one but thanks. 
 
 
(8:02pm)
You know I almost shelled out thirty bucks today to find out who owns your
phone. 
(8:03pm)
But then I thought about my dad seeing his credit card bill and decided against
it. 
(8:05pm)
So now I'm stuck here trying to figure you out. 
 
(2:34am)
I just want to know you. 
 
 
 Tues_26_Nov
 
(11:30am)
I keep repeating it to myself. "I just want to know you" What does that even
mean?"
 
(11:32am)
Idk Derek.
 
(11:35am)
I'm sorry I keep bothering you with this. 
 
(11:35am)
It's fine. I'm just tired. 
(11:36am)
Late night at the hospital. 
(11:36am)
Just let it go. He's a teenager. He'll find something newer and shinier soon
enough.
 
(11:38am)
Yeah. Thanks. 
 
 
(7:35pm)
 
(7:38pm)
 
 
(8:01pm)
He's still not answering me. I'm forever alone. 
 
(8:02pm)
ur not forever alone. ur 17. 
 
(8:03pm)
I don't believe you. 
 
(8:03pm)
fine. dont believe me. im gonna go back to talking to kira.
 
(8:04pm)
:p
 
 
Wed_27_Nov
 
 (10:11am)
 
 
(3:00pm)
ALL BYYY MYSELLFFFFF
 
(3:19pm)
stiles, go be with your dad. we're on break. enjoy it.
 
(3:20pm)
DON"T WANNA BE ALL BY MYSELFFF ANYMORE
 
 
(9:00pm)
 
(11:25pm)
 
(11:29pm)
Chapter End Notes
     so i don't have much to say. i guess i got frustrated with stuff in
     canon so i avoided writing this for a while. but as my friend becca
     says, "fanfiction is for fandom" and I stand by that.
     as usual, comments and kudos are appreciated.
***** I think about you a lot *****
Chapter Summary
     Don't ever say I never gave you anything
Chapter Notes
     Well hello there! First things first, I know this chapter took two
     months to post. I got busy with work and life and shit. But I've had
     some really great things happen the last few weeks and it made me
     want to finish this chapter. Second, I'm just floored that this has
     gotten over 20,000 hits. I never expected that and it put a huge
     smile on my face so thank you for that.
     Ok go read!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Sun_1_Dec
 
(10:00am)
It's the most wonderful time of the year
(10:00am)
With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer
(10:01am) 
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEARRRRRRRR
 
(10:30am)
u already have the tree up dont u?
 
(10:32am)
(10:35am)
Dad won't let me put the big one up yet. 
 
(10:36am)
yeah maybe bcuz u didnt take it down until june
 
(10:37am)
It's a lot of decorations ok? I was busy.
  
 
(9:00pm)
I love the holidays.
(9:00pm)
It was always my mom's favorite time of the year.  
(9:01pm)
She'd go all out on the decorations. Tasteful though. None of that blowup Santa
bullshit. Real 1940's style. 
(9:05pm)
I bet your apartment has like one string of lights hung up by duct tape. 
 
(11:03pm)
Close
 
(11:04pm)
OMG 
(11:04pm)
That's actually kind of great. 
(11:05pm)
Are we talking again? 
 
(11:10pm)
I don't know yet.
 
 
 
Mon_2_Dec
 
(10:50am)
I've come up with a few reasons why we should keep talking. 
(10:56am)
1. We can talk about literally anything and neither of us get uncomfortable. I
think that's rare.
2. We make each other laugh.
3. We both obviously don't have that many friends in the first place.
4. We already have something in common, this shitty high school. So we can
complain about it together. 
 
(11:23am)
1. You're dad is a very intimidating man. 
2. I could get fired because you're a student.
3. You need friends your own age.
 
(11:30am)
Ok my dad is not THAT intimidating. It's a softie at heart. Why would you get
fired? We're not doing anything wrong. I have friends my own age they just
aren't like you.
 
(11:31am)
To you it may seem like we're not doing anything wrong but to the
administration, to your father, to my peers? We are. 
(11:32am)
Stiles you're a good kid. A little eccentric, but good none the less. We just
can't be friends right now. 
 
(11:35am)
I'm not a kid. I worry about how my dad is going to pay the bills. I wonder
what happened to my mom after she died. I'm in constant fear of something
setting off a panic attack. My best friend is less and less available and that
makes me feel so alone. And now I've met this incredible guy who I thought, god
it doesn't even matter. I'm not a kid. I stopped being a kid a long time ago. 
(11:36am)
Make up whatever excuse you want for not wanting to speak with me anymore but
don't act like it's nothing. Don't play this off as letting down some kid with
a crush. 
 
(11:37am)
I'm sorry. I just can't. 
 
(11:38am)
Whatever
 
 
(8:43pm)
dude that sux. im sorry. u really liked him didnt u?
 
(8:45pm)
I mean yeah. He was such a down to earth dude and a great listener. I think we
could have been really good friends.
 
(8:45pm)
u kno thats not what i meant. 
 
(8:46pm)
I don't want to go there right now. Just, tell me how you and Kira are doing.
  
 
Sat_7_Dec
 
(6:00pm)
You should come with me tonight.
 
Where?
 
To Jungle.
 
No. Last time I woke up and whoever I took home had stolen my microwave. 
 
Oh come on. It'll be fun.
 
MY MICROWAVE LAURA.
 
Derek you're coming with me. You've been moping all week over that kid and I'm
tired of it. We're going out and we're going to get drunk and dance like no
one's watching.  
 
Fine but you're paying for the cab.
 
Deal.
 
 
(7:59pm)
We're getting drunk tonight.
 
(8:00pm)
where n why?
 
(8:01pm)
My place. Dad is on the late shift. Do we need a reason?
 
(8:01pm)
i guess not.
 
(8:02pm)
Come over in 30?
 
(9:02pm)
kk
 
 
(12:01am)
heyyy
 
(12:02am)
hi
 
(12:02am)
What ou doing?
 
(12:03am)
just lef a bar
(11:04pm)
what ru u doing?
 
(12:04am)
thinkin abut you
 
(12:05am)
You stll mad at mE?
 
(12:06am)
mayhe
 
(12:06am)
dnt be mad. im Sorry. I don't want to Hurt yo. 
 
*incoming call*
(12:10am)
Then why don't you want to talk to me anymore? 
 
...
 
Please talk to me. 
 
...
 
Come onnnnnn. 
 
...
 
Do you...do you ever think about me? I think about you a lot.
 
...
 
I think about what your voice might sound like.  What color your eyes might be.
If you're smile would light up a room. 
 
...
 
If you have strong hands...and what those hands would feel like on me. Do you
ever think about touching me?
 
... 
 
Sometimes I imagine you dragging me from the hallway into an empty classroom.
Pinning me up against the door and...
 
...
 
God I don't even know what you look like. I mean maybe I do but I just, I don't
even care. You're intelligent, and honest, and caring. I just want...I just...
 
What?
 
I want you to see me, and touch me. God fuck I'm drunk and I'm so hard. 
 
Fuck. 
 
Fuck it. I need to get off. 
 
...
 
God fuck yes. Can you just, breathe into the phone? I just need to know you're
here. 
 
...ok
 
I wish this was your hand. I bet it would feel so good.
 
...
 
Fuck, I'm gonna...*muffled groans*
 
*call ended* 
Chapter End Notes
     Hey look! Finally some explicit content! I haven't written a ton of
     smut and it's weird writing it in this format so bear with me. I'm
     trying to make it seem as natural as possible. And I'm excited for
     the comments on this because I know there's some things I left out
     that you guys will be like "WAIT WHAT".
     Kudos and comments appreciated :)
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
er apartment was squared away other than the
final inspection which would occur on tomorrow morning sometime. Her bills were
all set up on auto-pay, what little bills she had. Food had been given away,
and closets cleaned out. She was packed and ready to go.
She had decided to keep her cell phone as well. After last night, she had
decided to let whatever happened with Michael happen. Although she wasn’t
looking for any kind of relationship with any man, she wasn’t jaded enough to
not recognize a possible friend when they came along. There was something about
him that made her want to hear from him. As crazy as that sounds, it was true.
She didn’t know him from a hole in the wall, but there was some kind of
connection. As fragile as it was, it was a safe connection for now. Yes, she
would keep him around and try to maintain contact. It would be hard downrange,
but it is what it is.
Not surprisingly she hadn’t heard from him since last night. He seemed to be
fairly put-out by her requests to get pictures of her celebrity crushes – if
his texts were any indication.
Serves him right, Jana thought with a giggle.
Besides, he was already there anyway, so it’s not like she really had him do
anything that difficult. The question was still in her mind, though, of what
kind of job he did. He did travel to different countries – that was true. He
was in New York, surrounded by celebrities - at least last night – so there was
some truth to that as well. He had taken the pics, or so it seemed. So whatever
kind of job he did brought him into the celebrity world in some capacity. Not
that she cared much, as most celebrities were complete shit-heads in her
opinion. So out of touch with reality and living in a fantasy world that they
had made up. Jackasses, the lot of them.
Jana decided she would go back over her packing list and ensure that she had
everything she was required to bring as well as the things she would want to
take with her. She had packed all her uniforms and civilians in one duffle bag,
and had her other things in two smaller backpacks. All military gear she needed
would be issued upon arrival in country, so really there was not much she
needed to bring. Toiletries and other personal hygiene items to make the trip
were the main thing. Her duffle bag with the majority of clothes would go in
with luggage, so she wouldn’t have access to that at all times. She needed to
make sure her carry-ons had enough to get her through the layovers and into
country.
Jana rechecked the changes of clothes, and things like deodorant and tooth
brush that she had in her backpack, ensuring she had enough. Satisfied that she
was good to go, she looked back over her paperwork to make sure she wasn’t
forgetting anything. She didn’t need a passport, as her military ID would do to
travel. She did need her medical records and things though. She had placed all
the necessary paperwork in a pile on the countertop, making sure she hadn’t
forgotten anything. Everything seemed to be in order. There was nothing left to
do but wait.
Jana went back over towards the television, grabbing the remote and switching
it on. There was The Walking Dead marathon on AMC. She could definitely watch
that for the rest of the day! She walked back into the kitchen, grabbed the
Oreos she had bought last week at the store, along with a bottle of water, and
headed back to the couch. The Walking Dead and Oreos – great combination, she
thought to herself with a small smile. Only a few more days and she would be
out of this country and back downrange.
Jana glanced at her cellphone sitting on the coffee table. What was Michael
doing right now? It was after 1300 her time, so it was an hour ahead where he
was at. Jana wondered if he was still sleeping. Had he really gone home last
night after sending those texts? Jana found herself wondering about Michael
quite a bit this morning. What would have happened if she had answered the
phone when he called? Why did he call in the first place? It was after she told
him to lose her number, and that she was turning off her cell phone. Did he
really not want to lose contact with her?
“Quit being silly!” Jana chided herself. They did not know each other and that
was reality. The man was probably still just messing with her for shits and
giggles. He did get those pics for her though….and he sounded pissed about
doing it, she thought to herself with another small giggle. Maybe she should
text him? Would he answer? He was always the one texting her. Here she was
wanting to text him. She must have completely lost her mind.
Curiousness outweighing common sense, she decided to text him. Just to see what
he was doing of course; nothing more.
Jana:good morning :-)
Jana grabbed an Oreo and broke it apart, eating the outside first. She really
didn’t care for the stuff in the middle to be honest..
Michael:miracles do happen..
He was awake and he texted her back!
Jana:what does that mean?
Micheal:you texted me first
Hmmm…was that a good thing or a bad thing?
Jana:well after you pulled off that miracle last night I was wondering how you
were..
Michael:not as miraculous as you think
Michael:annoying
What was he talking about? Jana wondered to herself. Was she being annoying? Is
that what he was implying?
Jana:what’s annoying?
Now she was starting to feel a little bit of irritation. All this time he had
been bothering her and now he was annoyed with her?
Michael:taking pics of other men
Michael:of ur crushes
Michael:annoying
Oh! So he was annoyed at taking pics of other guys – not at her. Jana laughed
to herself and grabbed another Oreo and twisted it apart before texting him
back.
Jana:sorry but I saved ur life, was the least you could do
She popped one of the halves in her mouth, waiting for his response.
Michael:ur crazy you know that right?
If he only knew how true that was, Jana thought ruefully to herself.
Jana:you have no idea
Jana:what are you doing right now?
Jana turned her attention back to the television, watching as Rick Grimes took
down a walker.
Michael:not gonna lie, still laying in bed
Jana:ur a lazy bum
Jana: are you in a hotel
Michael:no I have an apartment here
Michael:told you I live here when I am not working remember
Jana’s curiousity was peaked once he mentioned work. Let’s see what we can find
out she thought to herself.
Jana:what did you say you did again
Michael:didn’t
Michael:neither did you
Hmmmm, snarky bastard.
Jana:how long are we doing this?
Michael:doing what?
Was he really that daft?
Jana:not telling the truth about who we are
Michael:can you just trust me that knowing what I do for a living would
complicate things?
Trust him? Was he crazy??
Jana:are u crazy?
Jana:how can we trust each other?
Michael:I know it sounds crazy but it’s for the best
Michael:would you pick up if I called again?
Why did he want to call? What was that going to solve? She wasn’t entirely sure
she liked where this conversation was going. Was he a criminal or something?
What was up with all the secrecy? She was fine revealing her occupation to him.
She would never see him anyway so what did it matter?
Jana:IDK
Jana:how would that change things?
It most likely wouldn’t change things. If he couldn’t type it what would make
speaking it any different?
Michael:I think we could talk better
Michael:please?
What the hell with this guy? On the other hand, she was leaving in 2 days. If
she got on the phone with him and he sounded like a complete creeper, then she
would know for sure to drop him. Texting was too secretive and you couldn’t
“read” emotion and expressions in texts. Maybe calling him wouldn’t be such a
bad idea.
Jana:ok I’ll talk to you
Jana:I am leaving in 2 days so if ur a weirdo I am deleting you for sure just
so you know
Jana’s phone buzzed, indicating a call coming in.
It was Michael.
Jana’s heart started beating fast as she contemplated going through with it or
not. Her finger moved over to the “ANSWER” button and hit it. Here goes
nothing…
"Hello?" she answered breathlessly.
"Ah. There you are. You finally pick up."
Jana was not expecting that voice to come through the receiver. It was gravelly
– like someone who smoked maybe? And was there a hint of some kind of accent
there? It sounded familiar somehow..
"Hello, luv? Hang up already?" Michael's deep voice again. 
"No. No, I'm here.....uhm.....how are you doing?"  Why the fuck was she so
nervous??
She really did not know what to say…
 "I'm good." She could hear him yawning. "Still hanging out in bed. You?"
"Good. Just getting my things ready for my trip," she replied.
Michael snorted through the phone.
"Yeah. Your trip. I was trying to forget it. Why are you leaving again?"
Jana thought his voice still sounded somehow familiar but she couldn’t place
it. It was right on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t figure it out.
"Work. It's a good thing. Besides, I'm ready to get out of this country for a
while."
"But a whole year?" She heard him chuckling. "Are you a movie star?"
 "Fuck no. I have a real job." She was the one snorting now. As if!
Silence weighed heavily for a few moments before Michael replied.
"So actors don't have real jobs?"
Really? Really??
"Please. Getting paid millions of dollars to pretend to be someone you're not.
That hardly qualifies as a real job in my opinion." Her tone was heavy with
disdain, her dislike palpable. "Then whining and complaining about fans and all
that. Please!"
 
"Well....I'd argue that there's more to it than that, but what do I know? You
seem to have a low opinion of actors."
Was that disdain she heard in his voice??
"That obvious, huh? I get tired of hearing celebrities compare themselves to
soldiers and such. What a fucking joke."
"Not all actors are that way. What if I were an actor? Would you hang up on
me?" Michael definitely had a certain "tone" to his voice now.
He was perceptive at least. She had to give him credit for that.
"Most likely," she replied easily.  
"Okay. Point taken. So, tell me what is an honorable job?  In your opinion of
course."
 
Yes. He was being fucking rude now. She was sure of it!
 
"Are you being rude? Cause it sounds like you're being rude....."
        
"Not tying to be rude. Just wondering why you would put everyone in a box when
you don't even know them. Why would you have a crush on Hugh Jackman and
Michael Fassbender? They are actors.  Wouldn't they be considered losers in
your esteemed opinion?"
Jana did not like the turn this conversation was taking. Quite frankly she was
ready to hang up. More importantly – she KNEW his voice from somewhere. Was it
someone she knew, someone fucking with her?
 "I don't know if they are losers per say. Being handsome and being a loser can
happen to the same people. I will never meet either of them. What does it
really matter? And why are you getting so defensive? Are you an actor? You sure
are getting pissed off over nothing!"  Jana screeched into the phone, her voice
steadily rising.
     
Silence…
"Are you still there?" She'd probably scared him off for good this time.
Nope.
"Yes. I am still here. What if I were an actor? What if I told you Michael
Fassbender and Hugh Jackman were not losers, but were actually pretty funny
guys and nice to boot? What if everything you thought about them was completely
wrong?  Just sounds pretty fucking judgmental to me..."
Jana gasped. She'd had enough of this conversation now. He was being a jerk for
no reason. If she didn’t like an actor for whatever reason then so what? Who
the hell was he to judge her?
"Okay so this was a mistake. I should have never picked up the phone. So I am
going to hang up right now, and that will be the end of-"
"Why stop now? Why quit your bitching now? I'm all ears, luv," Michael cut her
off.
"Quit fucking calling me love, asshole! I don't have to explain myself yo you
or anyone else. It's the wa-"
"But you don't know what you are talking about. Have you met either of them?"
The motherfucker cut her off again!
"Quit interrupting me! And no, I haven't met either of them, and I don't care
to! You can fuck off too!"
With that final statement, Jana pushed the "END" button, effectively shutting
off anymore bullshit he was getting ready to speak. She knew - SHE KNEW!! - it
was a mistake answering his call. Stupid fucker! Who the fuck did he think he
was?
 
Her phone rang again.
 
It was him. The asshole calling again.
 
"DECLINE" she pushed the button again. Fucker.
 
And he called AGAIN . Fuck him, let it ring she thought. Jana got up to go take
a shower, she needed to cool off from all this bullshit. Her phone kept
ringing.
===============================================================================
 
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     SORRY about the last chapter! It sucked big time I know!! The
     formatting and transferring is killing me! Hope you guys can enjoy
     this one. Things are getting interesting :-)
Jana finally touched down in Kuwait. It was a little over a week and a half
from the time she had last spoken to Michael. Well from the time she had hung
up on him and not answered his phone call. He had left a message though.
That bastard.
 
     “ Hey it's Michael. Look, I don’t know how that got so out of control
     so quickly. I apologize for being an ass. I don’t know what came over
     me. I really wish you would pick up. Please pick up?....…..ok you are
     not picking up. Look I didn’t mean anything I said. I guess the
     subject touched a nerve with me. If you knew me better you’d know
     why. Just please….everything is not as it seems. I hope you will call
     me before you leave, or text. I am going to text you my email address
     so you can email me if that’s better. Fuck! I don’t even know what
     else to say.Just please stay in touch ok? Well, I guess I’ll let you
     go..ok I hope to talk to you later. Please be careful on your
     travels, love."
Jana had not called him back nor had she texted or emailed him. However, she
had not deleted the messages either. Why – she had no idea. He had really
pissed her off. Really.
Jana grabbed her bags from where they were sitting on the seat next to her on
the shuttle bus and pulled one of the backpacks onto her shoulders. She would
carry the other. Orders in hand, she stepped off the bus and headed to her new
home. In-processing took a few days, and it was another week before she was
finally settled in her barracks room. Luckily she had a room to herself. Her
internet was getting installed today so she would have something to watch by
the end of the night. It was already after 1800 and it still wasn’t working.
Hopefully by the time she got out of the shower, it would be ready. There was
no cable in the barracks, but you could get stuff like Hulu and Netflix on your
laptop – as long as you had internet. The barracks rooms weren’t true “rooms.”
Rather they were a bunch of small metal container type buildings shoved into a
larger building. It was basically like living in a storage shed. You had a bed,
a wall locker, and that was basically it. Jana did have a small desk in her
room, so that was a plus. The bathroom and laundry facilities were outside the
main building, and consisted of giant trailers. One trailer was showers and
toilets for females; the other trailer was the same - but for male soldiers.
The laundry facilities were much the same – a trailer containing communal
washers and dryers for everyone to use. To some people this was hell on earth,
but to Jana this was the perfect place. It was a chance for her to get away
from one evil and confront another. This time she would win.
===============================================================================
 
 
Jana made her way down to the showers, toiletries and change of clothing in
hand. Her flip flops were full of sand by the time she got there. Luckily the
majority of the area around the facilities had been concreted in, but some
areas were still sandy. She’d have to find a new way back so that her feet
didn’t get dirty after showering. Jana stepped in the shower trailer - hoping
to -and finding it empty. The shower trailer was actually pretty clean, which
was a plus. Either it had just been cleaned or it was new. These trailers could
eventually get pretty nasty. Fungal infections of the feet run rampant down-
range. Thus the flip-flops (shower shoes) and lots of foot powder. There was a
small bench that ran down the middle of the shower trailer, allowing Jana to
place her clothes and things on it. She had chosen the last shower on the end,
and was stripping her clothes off when the door opened and another female
soldier walked in. The two women acknowledged each other, but didn’t speak.
Jana finished stripping her clothes off, and placed them on the bench, careful
not to drop anything onto the floor. She stepped inside the shower and set the
water as hot as she could get it. The problem with these showers was that the
hot water didn’t last long so you had to be really quick and wash the
essentials. Right now, her hair was the essential. She had been on planes or
buses for the past week, and hadn’t had any time to wash her hair. Jana pulled
her light brown hair out of the tight bun it was in, and placed the hair band
on the little hook inside the shower. She grabbed the shampoo bottle, squirted
some in her hand and began washing her hair. Finally! It felt so good, Jana
thought to herself, a contented smile on her face. She let the water run down
her body, washing away all of the dirt and grime she’d accumulated over the
course of the day. A few minutes later, the water started getting colder, and
so she quickly finished washing her hair and body, got dressed and headed back
to her room. Showers didn’t last long around here.
===============================================================================
 Jana sat down on her bed and cracked open her laptop, checking to see if the
internet had been successfully installed. Yes! There it was! Those little bars
indicating she had internet. Finally she’d be able to check her email and watch
some shows. Jana quickly signed into her email account and saw that she had
quite a few emails from her mother and brother. The usual kind – “please call
us when you can,” “when will you be home?” and “what is the address there so
that we can send you things?” She would get to those later. Not today. Jana was
digging through her laptop back when she found her stateside cell phone. It
still worked but she’d had it turned off since she left Benning. She turned it
back on and waited while the little apple lit up the screen.
4 missed calls, 2 new voicemails, and a few texts.
Hmmm, Jana thought, wondering who would call knowing she was leaving out of
country. Jana didn’t want to use it even to check these voicemails, knowing how
much data it would cost on her cell bill. Still she was curious…
2 missed calls from Michael, and 2 from her mother. The voicemails were
probably her mother. Jana pressed the icon to call her voicemail, wanting to
know what her mom – or whoever – wanted. She didn't dare believe Michael would
leave another voicemail. As expected, one of the voicemails was her mother, but
the other was someone she did not expect to actually hear from again.
It was Michael.
He’d left another message:
 
     “Hey this is Michael again. Ok so I haven’t heard from you. I guess
     you are out of the country or you’re ignoring me. Either one is
     shitty. Will you please call me? Please? Or text me? Did you get my
     email address? I am going to send it again just in case. Please just
     let me know you got there ok. Wherever there is…fuck I don’t even
     know where you are going. Ok?............well…ok fuck I guess I’ll
     let you go again. I’ll be waiting to hear from you. Be safe.”
Jana sat back on her bad, shock evident on her face. He had called her again.
Her mother's voice mail was irrelevant right now.
Michael had called her. Again.
He’d said he’d left his email also. Jana shut down the voice mail and opened up
her messages. Yep. There were quite a few text messages from Michael, two of
which contained an email address. He wasn’t lying about that. What to do? Jana
remembered how quickly things escalated last time. Would they get that way
again? She should probably just delete it all and forget about him. She had a
year to put distance in between herself, him, and the rest of her problems
stateside. Still…..A part of her wanted to text him, or call him, or email him.
A part of her wanted to stay in contact with him. She still felt that way. Why?
She didn’t know, but she did. She was curious. She felt like they had started
something – whatever it was – and it never got going to wherever it was going.
She may have overreacted, but so did he. He did apologize though, she thought
to herself. That had to mean something right?
And he took those fabulous pictures! Jana laughed out loud, thinking of some
guy – Michael - running around begging for pictures for his anonymous texting
friend! Crazy! But he did it.
 
The least she could do would be to email him back. She wasn’t calling – bad
idea if last time was any indicator – and she wasn’t texting. Too much money.
Email was the way to go. Jana opened up her Hotmail and started a new email to
Michael:
 
     Michael,
     Hello again. Yes I made it fine. I am in Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. With
     that being said, I’ll go ahead and spill. I am a captain in the Army
     and I am stationed here. There. I said it. So I will be here for a
     year. I too am sorry about the last time –and first time - we spoke.
     I was being a bitch and I apologize. I can’t even remember what the
     argument was about, but I apologize. Anyways, things are good here. I
     am doing good. Thanks for taking the time to email, call, AND text me
     LOL! I get the point. Keep in touch,
     Jana
      
With the deed done – and no way to undo it – Jana minimized her email and
turned on Netflix, searching for something to watch. In literally the time it
took her to login in to her Netflix account, Jana got an email. She saw the (1)
next to her Outlook logo on the minimized screen. Jana pulled the screen back
up. It was an email from Michael! Holy shit that was quick! She was 8 hours
ahead in Arifjan, so that would be around 1000am his time. That was quick. Jana
clicked the email and opened it up:
 
     Jana,
     Shit thank you for writing me back! I have been holding my breath –
     AGAIN!! I owe you again, since you saved my life again haha!
     So wow you are in the Army? I don’t think I have ever personally
     known anyone in the military. I would have never guessed! Do you like
     it? Where do you stay at in Kuwait? Is that in the middle of the war?
     I do hope you are being safe. So we can’t talk on the phone –
     probably a good thing – or text due to the international shit, but we
     can email? There are some things I want to explain to you. I remember
     exactly what our last conversation was about. I’d like to clear
     things up. I really hope so. Maybe at some point we can skype? I do
     miss our texting marathons… OK I will go for now. Hope to hear from
     you soon. Please take care of yourself little Schatzi..
     Michael
Jana chewed on her fingernail, wondering what to do. He sounded like he really
wanted to talk to her. Should she email him back? Should she wait a few days?
What did he want to clear up? Gah! Jana closed her eyes, trying to remember
what they were arguing about last time they spoke. She knew it had something to
do with her dislike of celebrities, but really what were they arguing about?
She’d find out soon enough:
 
     Michael,
     Me again. You caught me outside of work. Yes I am being safe here.
     Hopefully work will pick up soon so that I stay busy. Yes I am in the
     Army and I love it. I love the traveling. That’s why I told you I
     would switch places when you were complaining about the hotel. I
     don’t remember what we argued about, other than celebrities, but I
     think it was silly. Let’s not do that again.
     Ok TTYL,
     Jana
This time Jana did not minimize her Outlook screen. She was hoping he’d email
back, and very soon. She split the screen in half, one side containing Netflix
and the other containing her email. She started searching again for something
to watch when she received another email from Michael:
 
     Jana,
     Sorry so quick. I feel like now that I have you online I have to keep
     talking to you! Thank you for staying safe. I am glad that you enjoy
     your job. Not many people could or would do that for a living. So
     thank you.
     I do remember what we were talking about, and yes it had to do with
     celebrities and your disdain for them. I need to do something now
     that may be impossible for you to believe, but it is true. I will get
     whatever proof you need. I want to be honest with you, so that we
     don’t argue like last time over something so mundane. However, if
     this causes a tremendous strain on our “relationship” then I
     understand, given what you said last time. So here goes. So I have no
     other way of saying this other than I am a celebrity. I was at an
     after party for one of the movies I had just finished working on.
     James and Hugh are good friends of mine. That pic of James I did
     take, but the other pic with Hugh, James, and Michael Fassbender came
     off my phone.
     I am Michael Fassbender. No lie and I am not bullshitting you. I need
     to be honest. Now you know why the celebrity comments pissed me off
     so much. I do hope you understand and I hope this doesn’t ruin
     whatever this thing is between us. I am content to be your friend and
     I hope you feel the same way.
     Ok I am going to close for now. I have no idea but I am nervous as
     hell to send this to you.
     Will be awaiting your response,
     Michael
***** Chapter 8 *****
 
 
 I am Michael Fassbender.
 
That is what the email said.
 
 I am Michael Fassbender.
 
Jana had opened and closed that last email at least 4 times, re-reading it to
make absolutely certain she had read what she thought she read. Each time it
said the same thing:I am Michael Fassbender. Jana had no idea what to do. After
reading it the last time she had shut her laptop harshly, as if it were a snake
that may bite her. Would it really be possible? Would it be possible that all
this time -these past few weeks -that she had in fact been talking to Michael
Fassbender? What are the odds that someone would send out a random text, she
would answer, and it would be an actor? She simply could not wrap her mind
around it. It was not possible. Not in the slightest. She hesitantly opened up
her laptop again, intending to read the email once more, looking for any trace
of truth in what she was sure was an email based solely on deceit.
There was another email from Michael.
Holy shit. Jana, chewing on her nail, hesitantly opened up the new message,
fearing – FEARING – what she would find…
 
 Jana,
So since I haven’t gotten an email back in a few, I would assume that you are
in shock, or more likely you think I am full of shit and lying to you. I can
assure you the latter is not true. I was in Sydney when I sent out the first
text message. I had no idea who you were or if you would answer. When you
answered back, I was taken by surprise. I did not want to talk about my career
as you can imagine the shit I catch trying to have friends. It is hard –
whether you believe it or not – to find true friends, and not those that just
want to be around the actor rather than the person.
Look, I don’t know what I hoped you would say or do when I revealed my true
identity. I should have done it the night you asked for the pictures. I know
that now. I am sorry for misleading you. I don’t know if it’s the mystery of
not knowing what you look like, or how old you are, or who you are for that
matter, but there is something about you that intrigues me. I am asking you to
give me a chance. I am not asking for a relationship as I do not have time for
that. It is just rare to find someone so far out of my circle of people that I
can chat with.
Fuck I don’t even know if you are married! Shit! That just occurred to me!
Right I am going to end this now. I have made a complete and utter ass of
myself and I will go now.
I hope to hear from you, but if I don’t then I will understand.
Michael
 
Jana slammed the laptop shut once again. She didn't know what to do. Should she
email him back? What would she say? Better yet, did she believe him?? She still
couldn't get her mind to wrap around this. She wouldn't lie to herself, though,
and not admit that she was curious. This man had sent out a text message and
she had answered it. They had "chatted" as he said, and he had made her laugh
when she was in one of the darkest times of her life. She didn't know anything
about Michael Fassbender other than he was very good looking. She had seen him
in a quite of few of his movies. Was he an asshole in real life? That she
didn't know. She still believed that most movie stars were assholes and totally
disconnected with the real world. That wouldn't change until she saw otherwise.
But was there the possibility that this was Michael Fassbender, and he was
maybe a kinda nice guy? He seemed nice enough through email and text. She could
understand why he got pissed off when she spoke so harshly about actors if he
was really an actor. She'd be pissed too if someone spoke of soldiers that way,
stereotyping them.
Maybe she could just email him back to see? "See what?" Jana thought out loud.
What was she trying to see?? After everything she had been through - especially
lately - the last thing she needed or wanted was to be getting into some kind
of relationship with someone who may or may not be a very, very famous
celebrity. He did say he wasn't looking for a relationship though, Jana
reminded herself. So what could it hurt?
Jana slowly opened up her laptop again, wondering if she would find another
email. She did not. So apparently if she wanted to talk he was leaving it up to
her. Jana chewed nervously on what was left of her fingernail before opening up
his last email again. She would email him back. What's the worst that could
happen?
Here goes nothing, she thought...
 
 Michael,
Ok yeah I am a little shocked right now. Not sure if I believe you. Part of me
wants to since things are starting to make sense now. Comments you have made,
places you were at during certain times, etc. The other part - the logical part
-  says hell no. Have you seen that show Catfish? I mean seriously. What are
the odds that an actor would send out a text and I would be the one to answer?
It's like some weird fantasy that someone made up. So pardon my doubt.
However, I am more inclined to believe you are who you say you are. Crazy for
me to be typing that. I knew your voice sounded very familiar but I couldn't
place it. Either you are a very good actor (no pun intended) or you are who you
say you are. If so, I am a little embarrassed now. A lot embarrassed actually.
I can not believe I asked you to get that picture and why. You must think I am
a loser. And a weirdo. I swear I am not some weird stalker fan. I have seen
your movies, but that's it.  I am rambling now so I'll stop.
Ok no I am not married so no worries there. What else? Ok I am going through
some of my own shit from the past and recently, and I was in a bad place. So
some of the things I said to you were probably not the nicest things, but I
have been having a tough time. I apologize too. Why are we always apologizing
to each other? Crazy..
Anyways, I should stop now. I am sure you are busy. I don't want to take up any
more of your time.
Jana
 
Jana hit send and off it went. To Michael Fassbender. Or whoever it was. With
one nail chewed as much as she could, Jana moved on to another finger, chewing
on the nail as she stared at her screen. She really, really needed to stop
chewing on her fingernails, she thought absentmindedly. She couldn't focus now.
She needed to know what he would say, if he would say anything at all. When
nothing immediately came, Jana tried to focus her attention back to Netflix.
She needed to get some noise in this small room. She could literally hear her
thoughts and it was freaking her out. She finally settled on starting The
Walking Dead over at Season 1. That would preoccupy her for a while.
Hopefully...
Another email from Michael.
This time Jana couldn't move quick enough to get the email open. She could feel
her heart beating in her ears as she leaned forward to read what he had written
her.
 
 Jana,
I am always holding my breath around you, waiting for your response! So glad
you wrote back. I can understand you not entirely believing me, but I am who I
say I am. I never thought anyone would respond to my text, and certainly did
not believe that we would still be chatting. I don't know what Catfish is
either. Something like your old ladies show? I will have to google that as
well.
When you asked for the picture of me I really thought you knew who I was and
that you were fucking with me. I kinda freaked out a bit, you know? As I
mentioned in my last email, it is hard for me to know who to trust and when. I
don't mean to bitch and whine like before, but it can be quite shitty. Makes me
feel a bit paranoid if I am to be honest with you.
Don't be embarrassed Schatzi. Everyone loves Hugh Jackman. Although he is a
total asshole. Believe me on that. You do not want to be around him. Ever. That
Michael Fassbender, on the other hand, is completely awesome and hilarious!
Just kidding! Hugh is a lovely guy and one of my best mates. Contrary to your
belief about actors, I am a fairly decent guy as well. At least I hope so??
I'll leave that up to you to decide.
 
You aren't married. Good. Shit I don't mean it that way. I just don't want to
be emailing and texting a married woman? Nothing intended there! Look here is
the truth. I think it fantastic chatting with you and I don't want to stop. If
you don't want to. No strings attached. Not sure what you are going through but
I would hope that I could continue to make you laugh the way you said I have in
the past.
Okay little Schatzi I unfortunately must go. I have a meeting that I should
have already been at. I will be awaiting your response.
Take care,
Michael
 
Okay she fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. He had to be Michael Fassbender.
She was emailing with Michael Fassbender. She had cussed out Michael
Fassbender! Fuck! Jana thought! Fuck, fuck, fuck!! Jana thought, as she pinched
the bridge of her nose between her fingers.
Jana laid back on her bed, her head on a pillow and the laptop propped on her
bent thighs. What now? she thought herself.
She was emailing Michael Fassbender and he wanted to email her back.
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 9 *****
Jana could not sleep. It was well after midnight her time. She still had to get
up tomorrow and report to her new unit. Since she had been there it had been
more of a holdover type situation, getting things such as her room, mailbox,
and dropping of paperwork here and there in order. Tomorrow she would find out
exactly where she would be working. She knew the day would suck but she could
not sleep. She had been emailing and texting Michael Fassbender and he wanted
to continue. So did she, she admitted to herself.
She didn’t care anymore. It was true. She looked forward to his emails and
literally could not wait for the next one to come. She absolutely could admit
that to herself now. He was a distraction in this crazy world. He had somehow
come along at the right time when she was flailing about, right before getting
her orders. While Jana knew she was nowhere near “healed” – if you could be
healed? – but she was better. She shuddered thinking about how many times those
last few weeks she had chased her pills with some kind of liquor. How many
times had she come close to overdosing? While she wasn’t actively thinking of
killing herself at the time, if it happened it would have been welcome. She had
just wanted to escape, in whatever way she could. Michael, with his aggravating
self, had tided her over, pissed her off, and gave her something to look
forward to until those orders came. In some small way she felt incredibly lucky
to have this person come in when he did. Yes, she would keep him around as a
friend. No harm could come from that, she thought to herself. She would email
him one last time. He said he was heading to a meeting, and so would probably
not answer back as soon as usual. By the time he did, she would be working.
Jana sat up, opened her laptop, and began typing..
 
 
          Michael,
     Thank you for your kind email. I wanted to write you back really
     quick before I was up and headed for work. I know you were heading to
     a meeting, so no rush on your part in getting back to me. I will be
     heading to work myself in a few hours – if I can get some sleep!
     Well, I promise I did not know who you were, or I would have never
     embarrassed myself so completely. My face is still burning! I am sure
     both of you guys – you and Hugh – are wonderful people. I will try to
     refrain from being mean to all actors and Hollywood. I apologize
     again. As for staying in contact, I would love to. Without divulging
     my sad life story, you helped me out more than you would ever know. I
     don’t know why your text found me, or why I responded, or why
     anything happened the way it did, but it helped me. My life was very
     dark right up until I left the states. Doing lots of stupid things. I
     know that now. I am in a better place now. 
     I would like to keep going like this. It gives me something to look
     forward to. Maybe one day we can Skype, or call again. It was such a
     disaster last time LOL!!
     Don't have much to say except thank you. Just thank you. Okay with
     that being said I'll go now.
      
     Jana
      
With that Jana closed her laptop, set it on the ground next to her bunk, and
turned over, trying to get at least a few hours of sleep.
===============================================================================
Jana returned home later the next day around 1800. She had a busy, but great
day. She was tired as hell - the heat would take it out of you - and she was
probably still struggling with the time zone change. Would take a few days or
weeks even to get used to going to bed when she was normally up. She hadn't
been sleeping well in the past year, though, and it had progressively gotten
worse until she had come downrange. Maybe now she could get back into some kind
of routine. She knew she needed to sleep. She just couldn't then. It was
getting better though. She was in a better mood, and she wasn't able to drink
here. That was a good thing. Her head felt clearer since she had been here.
Again, some people would call this a shit hole and she would argue that it was
her saving grace.
It was well after 2000 when she had finally finished with chow and her shower.
Upon arriving back to her barracks, she grabbed a water bottle and  took half
of her anxiety pill, as she was trying to wean herself off of it.  She was
hanging up her PT's for the next day and laying out her things she would need
for work when the thought occurred to her that Michael may have written back.
She hadn't been able to check her email all day - not allowed at work - and now
she couldn't move fast enough thinking he had emailed her again. She plopped
down on her bunk and grabbed her laptop, quickly opening up her hotmail
account.
Yes. He had written her again, Jana thought with a small smile. Her day
instantly got better.
 
 
     Hello love,
     So glad to hear back from you! Yes I was in that damn meeting nearly
     all morning and afternoon. I could feel myself dozing off a few
     times, it was crazy. I know it's nothing like what you do day in and
     day out, but fuck I can not sit still that long. This is me whining
     and bitching again, can you forgive a pathetic, whiny actor? ;-)
     Well I am glad that I could be of service in whatever way possible. I
     would like to know what made you so unhappy but I will not pry. When
     you are ready I will be here.
     Please don't be embarrassed about anything said or done before. We
     did not know each other, but now we do. I promise what you see in
     pictures in magazines is not me. Tons of special effects, lighting,
     stuff like that go into making us actors look the way we do. I really
     am an ordinary guy. I am pretty cute though if I do say so myself...
     Just kidding again!  ;-)
     Shit I feel like a little kid writing this!  I have never been so
     excited to get a response back from someone. I was literally thinking
     about it all day during that damn meeting. This is very different for
     me, talking with someone this way.
     One thing though, you know what I look like, when will get to see a
     picture of you? Just curious...
     Also do you have an address? Can people send things overseas like
     that? I did a bit of research on my phone - yes I was still in the
     meeting - and I saw that soldiers can get care boxes from family and
     friends back home. I'd like to send you stuff occasionally if you'd
     like?Only if you want though.
     I don't want to end the email. Is that too weird?
     Right I'll get on with it. I should take my ass to the gym.
     Ok love hope to hear from you soon,
     Michael
 
Jana could feel the smile on her face, and she was blushing. Again. How did he
manage to embarrass her over email? She could not stop smiling as she quickly
emailed him back He said he was going to the gym - maybe he would catch it
before he left.
Jana began hurriedly typing.
 
 
         Michael,
     Hello again! I feel like a kid too, just so you know. Sorry your
     meeting sucked so bad. I know what that feels like. I have quite a
     few meetings here, seems like we discuss the same things on different
     days.
     So you like working out? I run quite a bit. Like to lift weights as
     well. It helps clear my mind. We have a small facility here that they
     call a gym, but it's no Gold's Gym or anything like that. I'd rather
     just take off running down the street.
     What I look like? Ummm...short, brown hair, and brown eyes. Does that
     work for you? I don't have any recent pics and not sure I am ready
     for that just yet...As for you I have seen your pics. You are cute.
     Let's leave it at that. Wouldn't want your head to explode so I'll
     stop with compliments...LOL
     Hugh may be cuter though, just saying... James too...
     Kidding again....LOL
     Yeah I do have an address:
           CPT Jana Sears
          Camp Arifjan,
          APO AE 12345
     You can't send liquor, or porn, or anything weird like that ok? Don't
     get me in trouble...
     Ok I will let you go now. I should try to get some sleep. This time
     zone thing is still killing me.
     Take care,
     Jana
      
Jana shut down her email and turned on Netflix, intending to finish up the
first season of The Walking Dead before heading to sleep.  Today was a good
day.
 
 
***** Chapter 10 *****
The months quickly passed by for Jana. She and Michael had become quick
friends. They emailed each other at least once a week, many times more often.
Most of the time they rambled on about random things: what's your family like,
how many brothers or sisters do you have, where have you lived. By 5 months in
her deployment, Jana and Michael had come to know each quite well. Jana was
happy in her job and was staying busy. She had helped transition hundreds of
soldiers in and out of the country, either coming downrange or heading back
home. Michael was busy as well working on a new project that had him traveling
back and forth from the states to London. He went on and on about the ins and
outs of his job, and Jana realized there was a lot more to it than just
pretending to be someone else. They still did not talk about really deep
subjects, and Jana had yet talk about the dark days before she had deployed.
Michael had asked once and she had said no, and he left it at that. No
questions asked, he said.
Michael had also taken to sending Jana boxes at least monthly as well. One
month she got a box full of chocolate, as she had told Michael of her fondness
of Reese's Cups. It was a ridiculous amount of chocolate, and she had plenty to
spare with those in her unit. Another month she had gotten two packages, one
containing a very expensive looking pillow - "In case your pillow sucks" he had
written her -  and the other box contained a full array of products from Bath
and Body Works . Again, Jana had more than she knew what to do with. His boxes
were always a surprise and always made her day. In the other boxes he would
throw in books - romance novels of all things - and different crackers, beef
jerky, and trail mix. He had filled up her barracks room very quickly and she
had plenty to share. The majority of the stuff she could buy here, but she
didn't want to hurt his feelings and dissuade him from sending things. He would
also send her postcards from wherever he was at the moment with work. She had
gotten  postcards from London, Australia, and New Zealand. That man traveled
frequently and it was always a surprise when she got something.
The most recent box contained a few of his movies, amongst other things. 'In
case you've already forgotten what I look like," he had written on the card
inside the box. How could she forget? The man was all over the tabloids and
television. Jana tried not to look at things on the internet, as Michael had
told her she may see lots of untrue things about him. That was not who he was,
he had written her. However, she had looked a few times out of curiousity. She
did not like what she had seen. Michael drinking, Michael with various women,
Michael looking pissed off and screaming at the paparazzi. This was not the
Michael she knew. She had come to consider him a friend, and a close one at
that, but the pictures of him with various women (perhaps costars only?) had
irked her. She couldn't rightly explain this to herself, but she could admit
that it bothered her. It shouldn't - but it did.
Jana pushed all that stuff aside as she began sorting out her clothes for her 2
week R&R. Everyone who got stationed overseas outside of a deployment would get
2 weeks of leave - if they chose to take it. They could travel back home as
many did, or travel elsewhere. Jana would be traveling back to the states. She
would fly back to Texas, but not to visit her family. No, she would head to
Galveston Island. She was born there, and while it wasn't necessarily the
cleanest of beaches, she loved the coast and wanted to spend some time on the
beach. It was peaceful this time of year - fewer tourists -  so she could sit
and be in relative peace. She hadn't heard from Michael in a little over a
week, so she decided that she would email him and let him know that she would
be out of the loop for a while. He was probably off on some adventure, filming
or promoting something. He was always going somewhere. Her packing didn't take
long this time, as she was only traveling with a backpack. She would grab some
clothes while in Galveston, and if they fit in her backpack, she'd bring them
back with her. Otherwise they would go to a local Goodwill as well. She didn't
need much clothing for the trip she was taking - just what you needed for a
week at the beach.
Jana dropped her backpack on the floor and grabbed her laptop.
 
 
 
     Michael,
     Hello stranger! I haven't heard from you in a while. Just wanted to
     let you know that I will be going on vacation for the next 2 weeks.
     Well I have 2 weeks but some will be spent traveling. Will fly out
     tomorrow early. I will be flying into Dallas and then traveling down
     to Galveston Island for about a week. So if you email and I don't
     answer it's because I am traveling. I'll email you once I get
     settled.
     Miss talking to you. Hope all is well with you.
     Jana
      
Jana did not receive an email that night, nor did she get one that morning. She
checked once more before she shut her laptop down, packed it in her backpack,
and boarded the flight back to the states.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Jana touched down in Dallas 2 days later. A few layovers and minor glitches,
but she was finally back in Texas. She picked up the rental car from the
airport and began the drive down to Galveston. It would take another 4 to 5
hours before she made it to Galveston. She was tired as hell, and was running
on pure adrenaline. She knew if she could just get to the hotel room she could
relax and get some rest. Jana pulled out of the airport parking lot and headed
towards I45 which would take her straight down to the coast.
Jana’s phone buzzed. She didn’t look down as she was driving, but pulled over
on the shoulder to see who it was. She was really hoping it was Michael. It was
her mother. Jana sighed in disappointment. She pushed the button to answer the
call.
“Hi mom…” Jana spoke into her phone.
“Hey sweetheart! So you’re back? How was your flight?” Jana’s mom asked.
“It was good mom. Long and boring as usual. How are you?”
“We’re all fine honey. Just wanted to check again and see what your plans were
and if you had changed your mind about coming to visit….” Jana’s mother trailed
off.
“No mom, I am not. I have already made reservations at a hotel on the seawall.
Non-refundable. Sorry.” Jana fibbed to her mother. While she had made
reservations, she could cancel – but she would not.
“Well I am a little disappointed. Sure did want to see you. Where are you
staying?” Jana hesitated, wondering whether she should give specifics or not.
The odds of her mother just showing up were slim to none, so Jana decided it
wouldn’t be that big of a deal if she knew.
“I splurged and made reservations at the Galvestonian mom. Spent my whole
paycheck!” Jana laughed out loud.
‘Wow! That’s a nice one though. You will enjoy yourself there.” Jana’s mom
continued, “and you deserve it.”
“Ok mom, I really need to get going. I need to get to the hotel and check in
and try to get some rest…” Jana tried to ease her way out of the conversation.
“Ok baby. Oh one more thing! Guess who I ran into today?”
“Who?” Jana asked hesitantly. She really wanted to get off the phone.
“Aaron. He was at the grocery store. He asked about you, you know…” Jana’s mom
stated nonchalantly.
“Oh yeah? It’s been forever since I’ve seen him. How is he?”
“He’s good. Really good from the way he talked. He’s a chemical engineer down
here around the port. He asked for your phone number and I gave it to him. I
hope you don’t mind?”
Fuck. Now her mother was giving out her phone number to old boyfriends.
“Mom I really wish you would have asked me first.”
“Well I didn’t see what it could hurt. You are still single, he’s single. Who
knows?” her mother said with a small laugh.
“Ok look mom. I need to go. Please don’t give my number out to anyone else
unless you ask me. Ok? I’ll call you later.”
“Ok baby. Have fun and enjoy your vacation. Love you.”
“Love you too, mom.”
Jana clicked the icon to end the phone call. She put her phone on vibrate, and
eased the car back out into the highway, heading for the beach.
===============================================================================
Jana arrived at the hotel late that evening. She dropped all her things on the
floor by the bed and headed to take a shower. Right now all she wanted to do
was take a shower, lay down, and veg out in front of the television. She had
managed to pretty much wean herself off the anxiety pill, and was sleeping
better. Sure that this time change would screw that up, Jana had bought some
benadryl at the small grocery store to help her get some sleep for the next few
nights. She popped a bendaryl before getting in the shower, hoping it would
take effect soon. She wanted to be up fairly early tomorrow in order to go for
a run on the beach.
After showering, Jana hopped up on the huge bed and opened up her laptop.
Finally figuring out how to connect to the hotel's wifi, she logged into her
hotmail, hoping that Michael would have emailed her. Of course he didn't, she
thought, aggravation evident on her face. Why she was aggravated, she had no
idea. He was not her boyfriend nor was he her husband. If recent pics were any
indication of what he was doing, then he appeared to be doing just fine in the
relationship department, what with all the women he had constantly hanging on
him. Well fuck him too, Jana thought. Not knowing why she did it, Jana fired
off one more email to him, intent on letting him have it.
 
 
 
     Michael,
     Well I guess that's it then? No more emailing? It's been almost 2
     weeks but whatever..Glad I could entertain you for a while.
     Good luck in everything,
     Jana
 
 
 
With that, Jana slammed the laptop shut and put it on the ground next to the
bed. Grabbing the remote, she flipped on the television, trying to find
something to watch. As she was flipping through the channels, her cell phone
buzzed. She hopped off the bed, going to her backpack to pull it out. Fully
expecting it to be her mom, she was surprised to see a number pop up that she
didn't know, and a text from someone she had long forgotten. It was Aaron, her
high school boyfriend.
Aaron:Hi Jana. Your mom gave me your number. Hope this is ok? Didn't want to
call as I thought you might be sleeping. Text me tomorrow if you get a chance
and want to.
Jana chewed on her lower lip, not knowing what to do. Aaron was the guy she was
going to marry. She had dated him for almost 4 years. At one point and time she
had loved him. He knew all about her past and had helped her through many, many
rough nights. However, she had run away and joined the Army. It was a breaking
point in their relationship. He couldn't -or wouldn't - leave their small town
and follow her around, wherever the Army took her. She had made a choice and it
wasn't him. Now he was back again in her life - albeit thanks to her mother -
but he was back.  Jana decided she would go ahead and text him. For old time's
sake, she told herself. Nothing more.
Jana:Hi! Yes I am still awake. How are you?
Jana worried her lower lip again, wondering what was next. Memories came
flooding back to her.
Aaron:Hey! I am so happy! I wanted to call but was worried you'd be sleeping.
How was your trip? Your mom said you were staying at the Galvestonian?
Her fucking mother, Jana thought to herself. She had gone and talked to him
after she got off the phone with her.
Jana: Yeah. I see my mother is meddling as usual. Yeah I am here for about a
week. On leave.
Aaron: LOL! Awesome!
Aaron: Look I know this is short notice, but I've got a few days off starting
tomorrow. Was wondering if I could come down and maybe we could get lunch or
something? Nothing weird. Just two old friends catching up. If you don't want
to I'll be cool with it.
Fuck again, Jana thought to herself. Should she say no? While she wanted to be
alone and recoup, she also wasn't completely adverse to seeing Aaron again. He
had been such a big part of her life. He had gone through so much with her. He
had been a rock for her, something to anchor her when things were out of
control. He had a good family - nothing like her dysfunctional one, and they
all took her under their wings and welcomed her in as if she were one of their
own.
What could it hurt?
Jana:Sure, that would be awesome. You gonna come tomorrow?
Aaron:Yes ma'am. I have a few things to take care of tonight, but can head out
there early tomorrow. What time is good for you?
Jana:Well I was planning on going running early in the morning, so maybe around
noon? Then we could grab lunch somewhere?
Aaron:Ok that works for me. I'll text you as I come onto the island. Great
talking to you and see you tomorrow!
 
Jana sat starting at her iPhone for a few moments, wondering if she had made
the right move. The last thing she needed was to get involved - or involved
again - with a guy. Even this guy, as good as he was. It was just lunch,
though, Jana told herself. Just lunch and nothing more. Jana set her alarm on
her cell phone and placed it on the bedside table. She could feel the benadryl
starting to kick in. Jana turned the television volume down low, pulled up the
covers and slowly drifted off to sleep.
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 12 *****
The next day, Jana finished up her early morning run along the beach. It was
easier to run here than it was downrange. The scenery could do wonders for
motivation! Seeing the waves roll in and out, watching the birds go about their
early morning forage for food, and occasionally passing a a fellow runner had
immensely brightened her spirits. She had taken her pill this morning, and she
was beginning to think that it was in fact working. Things were just looking
better all around.
The one thing that still pissed her off - and she tried not to think of it -
was that asshole Michael. As she was running, she tried to think of why it had
pissed her off so. The only plausible explanation she could come up with was
that she had grown accustomed to him. Who he was, who he came across over email
and through his packages. While she appreciated the things he sent her, she was
more appreciative of the way he had opened up to her through first text, and
then email. She felt that they had a bond of some kind, no matter how tenuous
it was. Some very small part of her wanted to believe that because they were
miles apart and no strings attached, that he had opened up to her more than
anyone else. She had done the same. Many things she had told him that she had
never really revealed to anyone else. Granted, she withheld the deeper secrets,
but she talked with him and felt at ease with him. She hadn't felt that way
around anyone - especially a man - in so long. It didn't matter that he was
famous or not - to her he was silly, goofy, aggravating Michael. So the fact
that he hadn't bothered to email her in such a long time pissed her off. It
also hurt - if she was to be truthful to herself. It hurt.
"Whatever.." Jana thought to herself as she walked into her hotel room,
dropping her key and cell phone on the side table. She needed to forget about
him the way he had apparently forgotten about her. Sometime soon she needed to
delete those emails as a matter of fact. Get rid of him altogether.
Jana grabbed her change of clothes and headed into the shower. She would be
getting a text from Aaron any time now and she needed to get ready.
===============================================================================
Jana was finishing her hair, pulling it back into a small ponytail, when her
phone buzzed. It was Aaron sending her a text.
Aaron:Hey I'm coming off the ferry now. Will be at the hotel in a few minutes.
Wanna meet me out front or should I come up?
Jana sprayed some perfume on before texting back...
Jana:No I'll come down. Be waiting for you in the lobby.
Aaron:K
Jana took one final look in the mirror before grabbing her small purse, cell
phone, and room key, and then headed downstairs to the lobby.
She was sitting near a window, staring out at the beach when she felt someone
come up behind her and tap her on the shoulder. She turned around and there he
was. Her high school boyfriend of over 16 years ago. Though they were older -
she was now 34 and he was 35 - he hadn't changed much at all. He had gotten
taller it seemed. His blonde hair and blue eyes were just as gorgeous as ever.
He still had that boyish look about him, even now.
"Hey stranger," Aaron said softly.
"Hey yourself," Jana said back.
After an awkward few seconds of just staring at each other, Aaron moved forward
and pulled Jana into a hug. At first she resisted but then she felt herself
melting into him. Just like before. He was still bigger and taller than her,
and she still fit perfectly under his chin. Jana sighed to herself, hearing his
heartbeat beneath her ear.
"I have missed you all these years." Aaron said softly, before leaning back to
look down at Jana. "You're still just as pretty as ever too."
Jana smiled, and hugged him a little tighter once more, before letting him go
and stepping back.
"You're still pretty hot yourself..." she said with a shy smile.
"You ready to eat?" she asked him.
"You know I am always ready to eat!" Aaron said with a laugh.
Some things never change, Jana thought, as they headed hand in hand out along
SeaWall BLVD, looking for something to eat. After much playful banter about who
should choose where to eat, Jana finally won and they settled on The Poop Deck.
The Poop Deck had been a favorite amongst Galveston tourists and locals alike
for many years. It had been damaged in some of the recent hurricanes, but it
was always rebuilt. Jana and Aaron found a spot up on the deck overlooking the
gulf. Feeling the sun on her skin, and the salty breeze blowing through her
hair, Jana began to relax.
"Remember when we came here when we were like 17 or 18? And my crappy car broke
down in the ferry lane?" Aaron asked her with a cheeky grin..
Jana burst out laughing.
"Yeah I remember. The piece of junk kept overheating and it finally died while
waiting in line for the ferry. It was so embarrassing, right??"
Aaron smiled before taking a sip of his beer and replying. "Yeah it was a hunk
of junk for sure. But we had fun that day, remember? That weekend?"
Jana could feel herself blushing as the memories once again came flooding back.
Aaron reached over and grabbed her hand, seeing how her demeanor had changed.
"Hey nothing serious, not trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I had fun that
weekend, regardless of what we did or didn't do. Wouldn't change anything about
it," he said to her, trying to reassure her.
It was then that Jana's phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her bag and her
mouth dropped open. It was Michael. Calling her.
Michael was calling her.
Jana quickly hit the "decline" button. The action did not go unnoticed.
"Something wrong?" Aaron asked her quietly.
"No, no, just someone that I can talk to later." Jana replied.
Her phone buzzed again. This fucker was calling again. After all these weeks -
2 only really - he was calling, and he was calling now, of all times.
She hit the "decline" button again.
"Anyways, where were we?" Jana asked with a nervous smile.
"You sure you don't want to take that? It's no big deal if you -" Aaron was
interrupted by her buzzing again. Jana looked down. This time it was a text
message.
 
Michael:(1/3)I know you are declining my calls. Please pick up. I have been
getting your emails, but apparently you haven't been getting mine. I was out of
the country for the first week in BFE and couldn't
Michael: (2/3) respond to anything as I had no service. Then my fucking email
got hacked and I think that is why I wasn't able to send you anything. Some
fucking weirdo hacked my shit and
Michael:(3/3) I was advised not to send anymore through that account. I did
respond to your emails though regardless. Check your spam. My buddy said he had
emails from me in his spam folder.
 
Jana sat staring at the screen, reverting back to chewing on her nail.
"You still do that, huh? Chewing on your nail when you are stuck with what to
do?" Aaron stated the obvious. "Maybe you should just go handle whatever it
is?"
Jana looked up at Aaron, forgetting that he was there momentarily.
"Ok let me just text back real quick and be done with it," Jana said, trying to
keep her voice sounding normal.
"Cool. I am gonna run to the restroom, be back in a few." With that, Aaron got
up and walked towards the bathroom, leaving Jana alone with her thoughts.
Should she text him back? She was so pissed last night! Now maybe there was a
plausible explanation? Even if there was a plausible explanation, and he wasn't
lying, what would emailing or texting him do?  The fact that she got so pissed
off over his lack of emailing her for a few weeks told Jana exactly what she
needed to know. She was getting in too deep with Michael. With someone she'd
never met. There was no future there, not with him. Not that she wanted a
future with anyone right now, she reminded herself, but with Aaron there was
something real and tangible, right in front of her. She would text him back and
be done with it.
Jana:Yes I declined your calls and I will continue doing so. I can't do this
anymore and don't want to. Look I am on vacation and really just want to be
left alone. I think we should end this now.
Michael:So you don't believe me then? It wasn't my fault. For fuck's sake, did
you get anything I sent you? Check your fucking spam folder!
 
Jana was tempted to see what was there, but it could wait. Checking it now -
and finding out that he was telling the truth - would only cause more conflict
within herself.
 
Michael:Are you still in Galveston? What hotel are you at?
 
What the fuck???
 
Jana:(1/2)Michael please. Yes I am still on vacation. You don't need to know
where I am staying. Just please stop. Please we need to just stop. We come from
two different worlds, and I don't want to do this anymore. It was fun while it
lasted but
Jana:(2/2) I don't want to do it anymore.
Jana sat in tense silence while she waited for his response.
Michael:No. I told you before that I didn't want to end it when you cursed me
out and said to lose your number. So no again.
Jana sat back in her chair, stunned at his response. What the hell did he mean
by that? Why wouldn't he just leave it alone? She pushed the button on her
phone, completely shutting it off. She was rubbing the bridge of her nose
between her fingers when Aaron came back.
"Everything ok?" he asked her with a concerned look on his face.
Jana plastered a forced smile on hers, "Everything's fine. Wanna go for a walk
down on the beach? Clear our heads a little?"
"You're not hungry?" Aaron asked.
"No I really need to go for a walk. My stomach feels a bit off. Can we grab
something later? I'm sorry, I just need to get out of here..." Jana practically
pleaded with him
Aaron looked her over carefully once more before agreeing. They paid the check
for their drinks and headed out towards the beach.
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 13 *****
Jana and Aaron spent the rest of the day walking along the beach. As the sun
was setting low, a fiddler crab scurried across Jana’s foot, causing her to
scream and run closer to Aaron. Laughing, he grabbed her, tossed her over his
shoulder, and carried her into the water.
“Put me down right now!” Jana yelled. “You better not -"
Aaron dropped Jana in the water, laughing as he backed away from her. Jana came
up sputtering, trying to right her clothes.
“Oh yeah? Wanna play like that?” Jana lunged towards Aaron, intent on making
him fall in the water. He ducked out of her way and she grabbed his arm,
causing them both to fall back into the water. They both came up grinning, and
continued splashing water at each other. The salt was heavy in Jana’s mouth. It
had been too long since she had been back. Too long.
“We should probably get you back to your room, huh?” Aaron asked Jana, his hair
plastered to his head. He was still very, very cute, Jana thought to herself.
“Yeah. I need to shower. I can feel the salt sticking to me already.” Jana
replied, trying to jerk herself out of her thoughts.
“What about you?” She asked him. “Are you heading back home tonight?”
Aaron looked at her out of the corner of his eye before replying, “Well I was
leaving that up to you. I did bring a change of clothes…” he trailed off.
Jana felt a little uneasy at the innuendo. Was there an innuendo though? She
knew this guy - had known this guy – hell, she was going to marry him at one
point.
“So what you’re asking is to spend the night then?” Jana asked him bluntly.
“Well I don’t mean anything funny if that’s where you are heading with that. I
just thought it would be better so we could hang out some more tomorrow. I mean
if you want me to go, I can go home or even get a hotel myself.”
Jana worried her bottom lip, unsure of what to do. She knew this guy right? He
seemed like the same Aaron that she knew before. He meant no harm. Just two
friends hanging out with each other, right?
“No, no that’s cool. I mean I don’t think it’ll be a problem. You can have the
couch. God knows the room is big enough.” Jana told him, having made the
decision. “That way you don’t have to spend money or make the trip back.”
Aaron grinned and pulled her in for a wet hug. “Thanks babe.”
For whatever reason, Jana felt a little uneasy with that comment, but she
brushed it off as being out of the relationship arena for so long. She had had
her fair share of assholes where men were concerned, and she’d suffered at the
hands of men, but they couldn’t all be bad. Especially not her Aaron. He was a
good guy.
===============================================================================
Jana stepped out of the shower in the en-suite in her hotel room, wrapping a
towel around her hair. Aaron was out in the living area, having already taken a
shower. She quickly changed into a loose t-shirt, sweat pants, and socks,
before pulling her hair up into a loose bun. She wouldn't worry about drying it
tonight. She'd just pull it back into a ponytail or bun tomorrow anyway. She
grabbed her cell phone out of her bag where she left it earlier. It was still
shut off. To be honest, she didn't want to turn it on. She was afraid that
Michael would call or text again. She just couldn't do it. It was a dream, what
she and Michael had. But it was over now, whatever it was. Jana tossed the cell
phone back on the bedside table, still not turning it on, before stepping out
into the living area.
Jana walked over to the kitchen, intending to get her medication. She was
feeling a little on edge this evening, and was going to take one of her anti-
anxiety pills to help her calm down. She found Aaron in the kitchen, pouring a
mixed drink. Looked like Jack Daniels and coke from what she could see.
"When did you get that?" Jana asked cautiously. She really didn't like the idea
of him drinking in her room. Drinking and spending the night. Something just
didn't feel right.
"When you were in the shower. There's a little shop down in the lobby. Want me
to fix you a drink?" Aaron asked her.
"Uhm no thanks, I have to take my medication." Jana stated, before adding, "I
don't remember you being a drinker..."
Aaron looked at her and grinned sloppily.
"How many have you had already?" she asked him suspiciously. She did not like
this at all.
"I had a drink or two down in the bar, but nothing serious. There's a big party
going on down there. Wanna go?"
Jana definitely did not want to go down to a party. She did not like drinking,
especially around men who she hadn't seen in almost 16 years. She needed to
untangle herself from this - and quickly. Should she tell him to leave??
"Maybe you could go down for a little while? Have a bit of fun? I think I am
going to turn in for the night..." Jana trailed off. She was hoping he would
just go. Maybe he would fall asleep down there or something.
Aaron looked at her for a moment before replying. "You sure? I don't want to
just leave you up here alone?"
"No, I am good alone. It's what I came here for." Jana said, trying to plaster
a convincing smile on her face. Please just go, she thought to herself. Please
go.
"Well if you don't mind then. I'll go down just for a bit. Don't wait up
though!" Aaron said with that sloppy smile again. She did not like this side of
him at all.
With that Aaron grabbed his drink in hand, along with his cell phone and headed
out the door. Jana hurried over to the door and locked it. Looking at the table
in the entryway there by the door she noticed one of the room keys was missing.
Fuck! she thought to herself. He took the fucking key. She was hoping to lock
him out somehow. Jana debated putting the chain lock on the door, before
deciding otherwise. She tried to calm herself down, telling herself she was
overreacting as usual. Besides, she could lock the door to her room and leave
him out in the living room. Jana turned the lights off everywhere but the
kitchen area and headed to her bed. She would try to get some sleep.
===============================================================================
Sometime later Jana awoke to the sound of her door being banged on. What the
fuck? she thought in a sleepy haze. She looked at her clock, seeing it read
332am.
The banging continued, followed by the sound of Aaron yelling her name.
"Jana!! JANA!" he yelled, slamming his fist into her bedroom door.
"Fuck, Jana! Open the door! It's me!"
Jana sat up in her bed, her senses on high alert now. She could feel the
adrenaline pumping through her veins, her heart thudding in her chest. She
pulled open the bedside table and grabbed the small container of pepper spray
and shoved it in the small pocket on her sweats, not sure what would come next.
She wished she had a fucking gun. She slowly crept to the door. Aaron was still
banging on the door.
"Aaron? I think you should go lay down, don't you think?" Jana called out in
her most soothing voice, trying to calm him down.
More banging.
"Fuck no, you need to open the door. We have things to talk about! Open the
door or I'll break it down!" He screamed from the other side.
Jana was terrified. Would he really break it down? Should she just let him bang
the door down?
"Aaron I am really tired and not feeling well. I think we should just go to
sleep. We'll talk tomorrow." Jana tried again. At this point she was terrified.
"You better open the fucking door or I am breaking it down! I swear I'll break
it down!" he screamed again.
There was no calming him down. Jana turned away from the door, intending to go
back to the bedside table and call the front desk when the door was violently
kicked open. He had broken through the door. Jana ran towards the phone,
grabbing it as Aaron grabbed her leg, pulling her down onto the bed. The phone
fell to the ground and rolled under the bed.
"You stupid bitch!" he screamed, "Always teasing and never giving in! Well not
tonight! We're going to finish what we started last time we were here!"
Jana grabbed at his arm, trying to wrench him off of her. It was no use, he was
too big and too strong. Fueled by alcohol and rage he was even stronger. Jana
pulled one of her arms free and grabbed at his face, trying to claw his eyes
out. Anything to get him to stop.
Feeling her nails on his face, Aaron slapped her across the face, splitting her
lip. Jana could taste the blood in her mouth. He began pulling at her clothing.
Jana could feel herself disassociating, could feel herself leaving her body. He
was going to rape her. Aaron was going to rape her. Something inside Jana
clicked in that moment. While he was preoccupied with getting her clothing off,
Jana reached down with her free hand and pulled out the pepper spray. Aaron had
leaned back, trying to pull her pants off, when she removed the cap and sprayed
the contents of the small container right in his eyes and face.
He started screaming, flailing about. As he raised back, Jana took the
opportunity to crawl out from underneath him and get off the bed.
"You fucking bitch!" he screamed at here. "Where are you?" He reached around
him, blinded by the pepper spray.
Jana grabbed his bottle of Jack Daniels he had dropped on the floor and slammed
it into the back of his head, effectively knocking him out.
"Right here you son of a bitch," she said bitterly, as she watched him crumple
to the floor.
Jana pulled her clothing up and grabbed the phone off the floor. She called the
front desk and requested the police come to her room. She was getting this
motherfucker out of her room.
 
 

  
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 14 *****
It was close to 8am when Jana finally finished with the police, paramedics, 
and hotel security. After calling the front desk, the police had shown up in
less than 10 minutes. They had handcuffed Aaron - who had finally woken up -
and taken her police report. They dragged him away, to jail she assumed. He was
begging her to forgive him, but she wouldn't even look at him. The hotel
management had asked if she wanted a new room, but she declined. New keys were
all she needed.
After they all had finally left, Jana retreated to the couch, turning the
television down low. She stared at the screen, her eyes glazed over, not seeing
anything.  She had popped her anti-depressant, as well as another anti-anxiety
pill, as her nerves were shot. If she didn't wake up, then fuck it, she thought
to herself. Honestly she didn't know if she would ever get to sleep.
The paramedics had assessed her injuries. "No, I wasn't raped" she told them."
"Yes, he only hit me" she said. All the fucking questions. It was always the
fucking questions she hated the most. She had decided against going to the
hospital as she only had a busted lip. Which was very swollen now, she thought
disgustedly as she felt her mouth with her fingers. Her cheek was fairly
swollen as well. How could she have been so wrong? Why didn't she listen to her
gut? She knew - KNEW - something was off. As soon as she could reasonably talk,
she was going to call her fucking mother and cuss her the fuck out. This was
all her fault. All of it.
Jana's head was throbbing now. She could feel herself coming down from the high
of all the turmoil, but her heart was still beating erratically. She hoped
these pills kicked in soon.
There a was knock at the door,  causing Jana to jump. She turned her head to
stare at the door in a daze. Another knock came, jolting her out of her shock.
Assuming it was the hotel security or the police again, Jana tightly wrapped
herself in the blanket, walked to the door, and flung it open.
It was MIchael.
She knew him from his pictures. It was him.
Jana stared in shock.
Michael Fassbender was standing in her doorway.
Jana's mouth dropped open. She was speechless. She slapped her hand to her
mouth to cover her swollen lip.
"Jana?" Michael asked hesitantly? He looked at her carefully, looking for
anything that would tell him this was his Jana.
"Yes?" Jana replied, her mouth still covered with her hand.
"Jana Sears?" he asked again, needing to be sure.
"Yes?" Jana said again.
She was still in shock. How did he find her? How did he know she was here?
"How did you find me?!" Jana's voice was rising with her fear. "How did you
know I was here?" She practically screamed.
Michael raised his hands out in front of him, trying to calm her.
"Hey calm down, love. I tried calling you a million times. As soon as I knew
you were on this island I hopped on a plane. I knew how small Galveston is. I
checked every hotel. It wasn't that hard. Being an actor has it's perks." He
said with a cheeky grin, showing all his teeth.
Jana stood motionless, not saying a word. 
Michael, finally noticing her swollen cheek, pulled her hand away from her
mouth.The grin faded away, and his mouth set in a hard line before he spoke.
"What the fuck happened here?" he ground out, his anger barely controlled. "Are
you alright?"
Jana clutched the blanket tighter, as a single tear slipped down her cheek. She
could feel herself slipping away, slipping into unconsciousness. The last thing
she felt was Michael wrapping his arms around her, catching her before she
fell. Then she was gone.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Michael quickly grabbed Jana before she crumpled to the floor. He lifted her up
in his arms, and walked in the room, kicking the door shut with his foot. He
carefully carried Jana over to the couch, laying her down gently before
covering her completely with the blanket. He smoothed her hair off of her face,
and ran his finger over the crease in her brow, trying to soothe her somehow.
"What the fuck happened here?" he asked out loud to no one,before looking
around and noticing the kicked-in door to the bedroom. He looked around for
more evidence of what had happened. Walking over to the kitchen area, he saw a
copy of what appeared to be a police report on the counter top.
Apparently Jana had been involved in some kind of domestic dispute with a male
named Aaron Miller. Fucker, Michael thought, his mouth setting once again in
hard line.
"Busted lip/multiple contusions to face, arms, and legs/victim denies rape-
" What the fuck! Michael was furious at what he was reading.
Michael quickly looked over at Jana after hearing her moan. She was thrashing
the blankets around, mumbling in her sleep.  He dropped the paper back on the
counter and walked back to the couch, sitting in front of Jana. He leaned over
and smoothed her brow again, whispering "Shhhh, shhhh..." to calm her. She
looked to be having a nightmare. As Michael smoothed her hair and forehead with
his fingers, she seemed to finally calm down. He tucked her in once more.
Michael rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, thinking to himself that this
was not how he wanted to surprise Jana. Not at all.
===============================================================================

It was after 3pm when Jana finally woke up. She could smell something. Some
kind of food. What was that smell? Burgers?  She sat up groggily, immediately
regretting the movement. Her head started pulsing, the pain nearly making her
sick to her stomach. The smell of food wasn't helping either. She laid back
down, trying to remember what happened.
Aaron came back drunk, kicked her door down, tried to rape her,  she sprayed
him with pepper spray, kicked his ass, called the cops and then Michael
Fassbender showed up at her door.
"Wait, what?" Jana thought crazily! That last part had to be a mistake. How
would he know where she was? Jana tried to slowly sit up again, peering over
the back of the couch into the kitchen area. She quickly ducked back down, her
head still swimming as she caught a glimpse of him. He was sitting with his
back to her, perched on one of the stools, eating something. Jana peeked up
once more, trying to see him better. He had darker hair than she imagined, more
of a dark reddish-brown rather than the lighter auburn he sported in some of
his movies. He had on a simple black tee shirt, blue jeans, and was barefoot.
Jana dropped back down on the couch. What the fuck was she supposed to do? She
was seriously in no mood for this, and she was still pissed off at him anyway.
She just wanted to be left alone.
She had to pee. Her bladder was screaming. If she didn't move right now, she
was going to pee all over herself. If she moved, he would surely see her! 'What
the fuck do I do??" Jana thought desperately. Maybe if she was slow and quiet
he wouldn't notice? She slowly started to roll off the couch, trying to get her
legs underneath her.
"Shit!" Jana cursed out loud as her head pounded once more with the movement.
She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth, hoping he hadn't heard her. No such
luck.
"Hold on sweetie! Let me help you." Michael said as he turned, quickly getting
up and rushing over to her.
Jana pushed his hands away, embarrassed to be seen like this. She did not need
help. Certainly not his. Fucker.
"No, I don't need your help. Please just let me -"
"Haven't you learned anything about me, love? I am persistent as fuck." Michael
said with a small smile. He carefully put his arms around her waist and pulled
her up to him.
"You alright?" he asked her, noticing her wincing. Jana leaned into him,
feeling like she was going to fall. Fuck. He had only smacked her - why was she
so weak?
"Yeah...I just need to...just give me a minute. My head hurts so bad." Jana
said, with her eyes still closed.
"Where were you going, sweetie? You hungry? I ordered some food..."
Jana was so embarrassed. How do you tell Michael Fassbender you need to pee?
Jana knew she had no choice. She was about to pee all over herself. Really. If
she didn't hurry she'd pee all over Michael as well. Fuck.
"I have to pee." Jana said meekly, her voice muffled in Michael's chest. "I
have to pee and I don't think I can make it there..." She could feel her face
burning, causing her lip to hurt even more. She must look like a complete mess,
she thought miserably to herself.
Michael - God bless him - didn't make a big deal of it. He nodded his head in
understanding, and started walking with her to the bathroom. Jana could feel
her head swimming, feeling like she was going to faint again. Michael, taking
notice of her loosening grip, picked her up again, cradling her in his arms as
he carried her to the bathroom. He slowly lowered her, helping her stand in
front of the toilet. 
"Ok love, tell me what you want me to do. Should I help you take your pants
down? I don't want to do anything you don't want. How do I help you?" he asked
her earnestly.
"No, I think I am good...just let me..." Jana reached down to pull at her
pants, causing her to fall forward. Again, Michael caught her.
"Look, love, why don't I close my eyes and pull your pants down for you, and
then you sit down? I promise I won't look. You can hold onto my shoulders as
you sit."
Jana was dying with embarrassment, but her need to pee was overwhelming her.
"Promise you won't look?" she asked him. She was mortified.
"Cross my heart."
"Ok.." she said, defeated.
"Okay I am closing my eyes and then I am gonna pull your pants down, ok? Then
we'll set you down slowly."
Jana just nodded her head, unable to speak. She was trying to hold the tears at
bay.
As Michael leaned down and began pulling her pants down, Jana glanced down at
him. Sure enough his eyes were closed. He even had his head turned upwards as
if he were looking at the ceiling. God bless him.
"Okay now we're going to set you down slowly, alright?" Michael asked, her
sweatpants at her ankles.
Jana nodded again, and mumbled "Ok."
Michael slowly lowered her onto the toilet, her hands on his shoulders to
steady her.
"You good?" he asked.
"Yes. Can you please leave for a minute?" she asked him bleakly. "I won't be
able to go with you there..."
Michael, still kneeling in front of her, opened his eyes and looked at her for
a moment, concern evident on his face. "You sure?"
"Yes, please. I will call when I am done. Please.." She simply couldn't take
much more of this.
Michael nodded, seeming to understand. "Right, I'll wait outside the door, ok?
You call when you're done." He smoothed the hair off her face once more, and
gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving, shutting the bathroom
door behind him.
Finally relief, Jana thought as she emptied her bladder. She finished, cleaned
herself up and attempted to stand. Her head wasn't quite so bad now.
"You alright in there?" Michael called out from the other side of the door.
"Yes, I am fine. Just a minute..." Jana finally managed to stand up, and slowly
walked towards the sink. Fuck. Her face looked bad. That fucker really did a
number on her. Her lip was busted and very swollen. She had a bruise on her
cheek where he had smacked her, and her right eye was turning black. She
glanced at her arms, noticing the bruises and scratches. Jana could feel the
tears welling up again. How could she be so stupid? Why didn't she listen to
herself, listen to her gut? He had almost raped her! Suddenly she felt very
dirty, and needed to take a shower. She walked over to the shower, and turned
on the water, and began ripping at her clothes. She couldn't get them off! She
was blinded by tears. She wiped angrily at her face, hitting her lip in the
process, causing her to cry out.
"Goddamnit!"
And then Michael was there, pulling her into his arms again. "Baby what are you
doing?" he asked her worriedly, smoothing her hair, holding her close.
Jana continued crying, sobbing into his chest.
"Do you want a shower, is that it?" Michael asked her again, rubbing up and
down her back and her hair.
"How about we run a bath instead? Then you can sit in it and relax? I think it
will help. Let's do that okay, sweetie?"
Michael leaned down, turning off the shower head, and turned on the water to
fill the tub instead. Still holding onto Jana, he squirted some body wash in
the water. Is that what girl's used in the bath?? Fuck, he didn't know! As the
water continued to fill the tub, he turned back around to Jana.
"Look I am going to close my eyes again and help you get out of these clothes.
Is that ok?" he asked her.
Jana just nodded, her sobs slowing down. She was completely done. She had
nothing left. She didn't care if he looked or not. Fuck it.
"Ok baby I am gonna pull your pants off first, and then your shirt ok?"
Jana nodded again. Michael began pulling at her pants, pulling them down her
legs. He pulled one foot out at a time. Jana remained standing with her hands
on his shoulders. When he had removed the pants he stood back up. "Ok baby,
gonna take your shirt off now, ok?"
Again Jana just nodded. She would keep her eyes closed this time. She didn't
care if he did or didn't.
Michael, with one arm around her waist, pulled the shirt up and over her head.
She was completely naked now. She could feel her skin burning with
embarrassment but she couldn't care less right now. She had nothing left
inside.
"Right, I am gonna pick you up and put you in the bathtub, ok? You tell me if
the water is too hot? Yeah?"
"Ok"
Michael lifted her up once again, and slowly lowered her into the tub. At first
the water felt too hot, but within seconds she could feel some of the aches and
stress leaving her body. Jana sighed, finally feeling a bit better. She just
needed to get clean. That was all. Michael placed a rolled up towel behind her
head, and smoothed her hair off her face once again.  Jana slowly opened her
eyes and turned to look at him. Even though he was a fucker, she needed to tell
him how much she appreciated him.
He was sitting on the floor next to the bath, looking everywhere but at her.
"Michael?"
"Yeah?" He was still not looking at her.
"Michael, look at me please." Michael slowly turned his head and looked at her,
his face still full of worry.
"Michael I am sorry about all of this-"
He interrupted her "No you don't need to apologize-" Jana held up her hand,
interrupting him now.
"Please let me finish. I am sorry about all of this. I am sorry you came all
this way for this. I am just sorry. If you want to go you can, I am perfectly
fine now. I just needed to get clean..." she trailed off, tears filling her
eyes again. Damn if she wasn't trying to hold them in!
Michael leaned over the tub, taking her hand in his and pulling it up to his
lips. He slowly touched her knuckles to his lips, placing a small kiss on them.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now. I am here as long as you'll let
me stay."
"I cant even believe you're here. You are such a stubborn ass. Don't you know
what no means?" she asked him. He was so frustrating.
He smiled at her then - his signature smile - with all those gorgeous teeth on
display.
"I told you I was persistent. Your fault for not believing me."
 
 
 
 

.
 
 
 
***** Chapter 16 *****
Jana sat in the bathtub for a good hour, only getting out when the water was
getting cold and her hands and feet were getting wrinkled. Michael sat by her
side on the bath mat. Neither of them spoke much. Jana needed silence and
Michael understood. When Jana was finally ready to get out, Michael helped her
into a bathrobe, all the while keeping his eyes closed. As much as she
absolutely didn't want to be around any man at this moment, she was grateful
for his strong, quiet presence. He seemed to know how to help her - without
words being spoken. It was a good thing, as Jana didn't have any words left.
After wrapping the tie around her waist,  Michael helped Jana to her bed. She
really wanted to lay down and sleep some more.
"I am going to leave you here for a moment, love, and go get you some food.
When's the last time you ate anything?" Michael asked her.
"I don't remember..but I am not hungry. Just want to sleep.."
"You need to eat something. Then you can take something for your headache,
right?" He was having none of her arguing. "Wait right here.." He started
walking towards the kitchen.
"Wait, Michael?" Jana asked hesitantly. Michael stopped and looked back,
"Yeah?"
Jana was nervous to reveal this part of herself to him but she needed the damn
pill. Her nerves were shot. She needed something to calm her down. The headache
was partly tension, and she knew that damn pill would help.
"In my bag out there - the black one - there is a bottle of pills. I.... I have
to take pills for anxiety, ok? Can you please get me one? They are yellow."
Jana hung her head down low, looking at her hands and fiddling with her
fingernails.
"Sure thing." Michael said before walking away. Jana quickly looked up to see
how he was looking at her - and if he was looking at her strangely - but he was
already gone.
A few moments later he came back in with a burger, french fries, a bottle of
water, and all of her medication, all perched on a tray he stole from the
kitchen. One anxiety pill, 2 Aleve, and 2 Tylenol. Jana looked at him
questioningly, raising an eyebrow.
"What?" Michael asked her, shrugging his shoulders. "I googled it. You can take
Tylenol and Aleve together. Plus it said so on the paper from the paramedics."
Michael didn't look at her as he made that last statement, busying himself with
opening her burger for her and spreading the fries out on the tray.
"So you dug through my stuff?" Jana asked accusingly. How long had he been
here?
Michael glanced at her before replying, "I wouldn't call it digging if it's on
the kitchen counter top."
Jana shrugged her shoulders. Fuck it. Better he knew how crazy she was now
rather than later.
"Ok, love, do you want ketchup?" Michael sat down next to her, causing her to
scoot further to the other side. He looked at her carefully. "I am not going to
hurt you Jana. I am here to help. Let me help please? Once you're good, I'll
leave, I promise."
She stared at him, not knowing what to do or say. Really she was in no
condition to throw him out, now was she? She'd kicked all the ass she could
manage in one day. If he wanted to stay she couldn't stop him.
"Ok, but you stay over there...and I'll stay over here." Jana told him matter-
of-factly.
"Yes ma'am," Michael said, holding up his hands in surrender and flashing her
his sharky smile.
"You are such an ass sometimes..." Jana mumbled, shoving a french fry in her
mouth.
===============================================================================
Sometime later that evening, Jana finally woke. The bedroom was dark, but the
bathroom gave off enough light for her to see clearly. Glancing at the clock on
the bedside table, she saw that it was now after 10pm. Sitting up slowly, she
looked around, and was momentarily startled to see Michael sleeping on the
other side of the bed. The tray containing the remainder of the food was there
in between them, and he was curled on his side, facing her, his arms crossed
over his chest and his bare feet crossed at the ankles. He was breathing
steadily, his chest slowly rising and falling. She finally took a good look at
him. In sleep he didn't look so weathered, his face somehow smoothed out. His
eyelashes rested lightly on his cheeks, giving him a boyish look. The crinkles
around his eyes were relaxed.  He did have the usual ginger stubble across his
jawline and down his neck, and his dark, reddish-brown hair was messy, sticking
up everywhere. He was beautiful. Even in the midst of everything that had just
transpired, Jana was awed by how handsome he was. No wonder all these women
loved him.
To top it all off, she thought, he was a good guy. He'd been here for her
through a very, very bad time. She thought back to the hateful email she had
sent him, and how she had gotten mad seeing him doing those things - drinking,
partying, all those women hanging on him - it didn't add up. It was like two
different people. Shaking her head,  Jana gingerly got up off the bed, being as
quiet and still as possible so as not to disturb him. As much as she'd been
through, she knew he was tired as well. Traveling here from where ever he was -
NY? - had to have left him jet-lagged.  Jana leaned over, pulled the tray of
food off the bed, and set it on the bedside table. She then grabbed the blanket
from her side and pulled it back over to Michael so that she could cover him
with it, taking care to cover his feet.  Jana walked back around to the table
on her side, grabbed the tray, and headed out to the living area, closing the
broken bedroom door behind her as best as she could.
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 17 *****
Jana was sitting on the couch, watching some kind of rerun that she had found
when she saw the bathroom door close. Michael must be up, she thought.  It was
well after 3am now. She couldn't sleep as she'd been sleeping all day. It would
be best to just try to stay up and get a sleep rhythm going tomorrow. She only
had about 4 more days here before she needed to head back to Dallas in order to
catch her flight. It hadn't been a very relaxing vacation thus far. Truth be
told she was ready to get back down range where things made sense. This was all
bullshit. She looked up from the television as Michael walked out of the
bedroom, rubbing his hair. Which was completely messed up now, but damn if it
wasn't sexy as hell on him. She really should not be having these thoughts
about any man right now, she quickly reminded herself. She needed to be on
guard - even with Michael.
"Why'd you leave me, love?" he asked her, coming to plop down on the couch
beside her. Jana subconsciously wrapped the blanket around her a little
tighter. She had managed to get dressed while he was sleeping, so at least she
wasn't sitting naked under the bathrobe any longer. He was wearing the same
black t-shirt, jeans, and was still barefoot. Damn him. She stared at the
television before replying.
"No reason, just thought you needed to sleep." She looked at him out of the
corner of her eye. What now? she thought to herself.
"Yeah I was pretty tired," he said with a lopsided grin. "What are we doing
today?"
Jana fully turned her head to look at him now. What?
"Uhmmm...what do you mean - what are we doing today? It's 3am...." She had
every intention of sitting right here all damn day - and night. Right here on
the couch. He could do what he wanted. Besides, she still looked like shit as
far as she was concerned. Her lip was still pretty busted, although the
swelling had gone down somewhat.
"Well as much as I'd love to sit here on my ass with you all morning and day,
we need to get out. You need to get out. Get some sun on your face." Michael
stated bluntly.
"I can't go out like this..." Jana trailed off, trying to find a way out.
Michael waved his hand in the air, brushing off her excuses. "Nonsense. You
look fine. You can wear a one of those big hats the ladies wear and sunglasses.
No one will ever know anything different."
"Yeah except my big fat lip..." Jana mumbled bitterly.
"Doesn't look that bad from here, love. Promise." Michael said softly.  Jana
looked at him again, searching for any trace of a lie in his statement.
"Promise."
"Are you really sure you want to be seen out with me? I am a little crazy don't
you think?" Jana tried another angle. "Someone is bound to recognize you and
then they'll see the lunatic you're hanging around with...."
"Pffft! Fuck them. I'll wear a big hat and sunglasses too. Nobody will know
either of us. It'll be great. We can start with breakfast, and then go from
there. We'll be dead tired this evening." Micheal said, flashing all his teeth
this time. Jana couldn't argue with him when he did that. "Now come on love,
let's get dressed and you take me on a tour of your island."
===============================================================================
Damn if Michael didn't drag her all over that island. They finally left the
hotel around 430am. Being so early, no one was about, and so they headed to an
IHop that stayed open all night long. Of course Michael got recognized there,
but it was fine as it was just a a handful of other patrons and the waitstaff.
He graciously took a few pics, signed a few autographs, and the staff left them
in relative peace. When the waitress looked questioningly at Jana's face, she
felt a moment of panic but Michael quickly stepped in and  explained to the
waitress that Jana had an unfortunate surfing accident and the board had won,
thus the busted lip. They all laughed -even Jana - and she couldn't help but be
thankful for him, and was able to relax a bit from that point on. After
breakfast they took a short walk along the beach. Michael was fascinated with
the little fiddler crabs that were still milling about, and Jana couldn't help
but laugh as he ran after them, unsuccessfully trying to catch them.
It was close to 9am when Michael decided they needed to go shopping for some
"disguises" as he called them. More people were starting to come alive on the
island, and he didn't want the interference. Jana was grateful. They ducked
into one of the little shops along the Seawall and both purchased even bigger
sunglasses and even bigger hats than the one Jana was currently wearing.
Michael finally settled on a straw cowboy-type hat and Jana got a big floppy
straw hat of her own. Michael bought some swim shorts - as he was going
swimming he said - and they both bought a few tshirts to look more like
tourists. While Jana was waiting for Michael to finish paying for something he
said he forgot, she stepped outside to feel the cool ocean breeze blowing. She
loved it here, loved the beach and the salty smell.
"Hey I got something for us.." Michael said a little sheepishly as he came up
next to her. "You'll probably think it's stupid, but I think it's fantastic.
Give me your hand."
Jana looked at him, freaking out a bit. "Why?" She held her hands close to her
chest.
"Come one, just give me your hand. It's nothing that serious." Michael said,
albeit a bit impatiently. Jana slowly gave him her hand. Michael produced two
bracelets from his bag, both black leather bracelets with a tiny shark tooth on
each one. Michael slipped one on her wrist before slipping the other on his.
"Now we are really and truly friends. Nobody else I know has a shark tooth
bracelet except you and me." Michael said proudly, his smile making him look
slightly sharky himself. Jana stared at him, then down to the bracelet, and
then back up at him again. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat, incredibly
proud of himself and his little bracelets.
Jana burst out laughing. Michael's smile faded into one of annoyance.
"Well you can take it off then if you don't like it." Michael stated, annoyance
evident, as he began walking away. Jana ran behind him and grabbed onto his
arm, trying to wrench it free as he had his hand shoved in his pocket. The
other hand clutched his bag tightly. He didn't stop walking.
"Ok I am sorry. I love the bracelet." Jana said as she held on to his elbow. 
She noticed the muscle in his jaw was ticking.
"Then why did you laugh?" He asked her suspiciously, finally looking at her
sideways. He was still walking and she was still clinging to his elbow.
"It was just so unexpected. I mean..you are this big actor...and.... well...."
Jana trailed off, not knowing what to say. How to explain to him that she
thought he was too cool for normal people stuff? Like cheap little SeaWall BLVD
bracelets? Did actors do that kind of stuff? "Can you just stop please?
Michael, please stop."
"So I can't do normal things then?" Michael was frustrated now. He stopped and
turned, facing her before continuing. "Look Jana, we met under crazy
circumstances. Before you knew who I was, I was just Michael. Not anyone
famous. You knew me for me - not the actor. Even after you knew who I was, you
and I were just Jana and Michael. Not the actor and the Army captain, just Jana
and Michael. When I am with you I just wanna be Michael, the normal guy that
buys cheap bracelets." Michael looked off into the distance, the muscle in his
jaw still ticking.
Jana stared at him, waiting for him to continue. She didn't know if she should
speak. She hadn't realized how frustrating it must be for him to just be
Michael. Not Michael Fassbender, not one of his movie star roles - but just
Michael.
Not to mention all the shit she had put him through over the past 2 days.  
Michael finally turned his head and looked back at her.
"Look after all the shit that just happened, can we just be Jana and Michael? I
don't care about all that shit, whatever it was. You can tell me later or not.
For this little bit of time we have, can we just be two friends hanging out,
enjoying each others' company?" Michael's eyes - an intense blue - searched her
face, looking for an answer.
Jana slid her hand down from his elbow where she had been holding onto him and
pulled at his hand. He finally relented, and let Jana pull his hand out of his
pocket, their fingers intertwining. She smiled up at him.
"Yes - Michael - we can. I am sorry. I didn't mean to offend. You
just...surprise me is all. I am sorry, really. Forgive me?"
Michael grinned his shark grin again. Just like that, goofy, grinning-like-a-
shark Michael was back again.
"Yeah I forgive you, but you'll owe me. Big-time." They started walking again,
still holding hands.
It was Jana's turn to eye him suspiciously. "What does that mean?"
"You'll find out eventually. Now take me to this pyramid thing with the sharks
in it, sweet little tour guide."
===============================================================================
The Galvestonian
 
Bracelet shop :-)
 
 
Seawall BLVD
 
The pyramid thing..Moody Gardens, Galveston, TX
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Notes
     Nothing feels as bad as getting to the last sentence and then somehow
     deleting a chapter on accident..so here goes again!!
Jana and Michael spent the majority of the day at the Moody Gardens attraction,
only leaving when it was literally closing down. Michael had been spotted a few
times by fans, and as always he took the photos they asked, and signed the
papers they asked, and was genuinely nice with the fans. There were some that
would approach him openly,  others would stare and wonder if he really was
Michael Fassbender, and some would follow and take pics from afar. Jana tried
to stay out of it as much as possible, always sneaking off to the side and
watching from afar. Michael would occasionally sneak away from the crowd,
pulling her away from the commotion.
Generally, however, he was nice to his fans and accommodating. When they
finally left Moody Gardens, they decided to get something to eat. Rather than
going to a crowded restaurant where he was sure to have more "encounters," they
decided to go low key and have Whataburger. He was recognized there as well,
but it was a small inconvenience compared to earlier.
They finally made it to Jana's room after 1am. Another long, crazy night. After
they stepped off the elevator, Jana dug through her purse and pulled out her
room key, and opened the door. Michael, however,  didn't follow her into the
room.  Jana turned to find out what was going on and saw he was leaning up
against the door frame.
"What's wrong?"
Michael looked down at the floor before looking at her again, "No I just want
to know before I come in if you'd rather I got another room. No pressure," he
said as he clasped his hands together out in front of him. "I can get a room
and we can just meet up together again tomorrow. No big deal," he finished with
a small smile.
Jana hesitated for a moment, worrying her lower lip with indecision. The sharp
pain she felt from her busted lip was a quick reminder of the decisions she had
made previously. He was giving her a choice here, an out. He would leave if she
wanted him to. A large part of her wanted him to stay - she enjoyed being
around him. It was worse being alone now that she had Michael's company to look
forward to. On the other hand, she knew what happened last time she let a man
in her room. That was a man she knew. Michael she really did not know.
Jana thought back to yesterday and last night, when Michael had painstaking
helped her through one of the harder times in her life. Usually she handled
these things alone, but he was there. He put her in a bathtub for Christ's
sake! No, if Michael wanted to hurt her he would have already done it. Besides,
he could walk down the street - hell the hallway - and pick up any woman he
wanted. He wouldn't hurt her, she was sure of it.
"No, it's ok. I want you to stay," Jana said with a small, hesitant smile.
Michael released the breath he had been holding.
"Thank you." He placed his hand over his heart before adding, "I swear I'll be
a good boy." He finished with a small smile of his own as he walked in behind
her and shut the door.
 
===============================================================================
An hour later they were both showered, needing to remove all the salt and sand
from their skin. Michael was lounging on one side of the huge sectional while
Jana was curled up on the chaise part. There was a whole couch section in
between them - Michael on one side and Jana on the other. They had finally
settled on reruns of Roseanne, as Michael said he had never seen that show
before. He was watching the show and popping caramel corn that he had purchased
at Moody Gardens, seemingly unaware that Jana was watching him. Every now and
then she would sneak a peak at him, watching as he ate the popcorn, or when he
would crack a smile at something Rosie or Dan said, or when he would even laugh
out loud. She smiled herself as his eyes crinkled in the corners when he would
laugh or smile at something. 
He was wearing a pair of blue swim trunks and a black tank to sleep in, and she
could see his toned body clearly. His stomach was flat, his chest broad, and
his arms were lean but muscular. The man was beautiful. There was no way around
it. As Jana was watching him, Michael suddenly turned to look at her, catching
her in the act. Jana quickly looked away, back at the television.
Michael sat up, swinging his legs off the couch, and placed the popcorn on the
coffee table. Jana looked at him out of the corner of her eye.
"Mind if I come sleep next to you? I am freezing and you have the blanket.
Think I got a bit of a sunburn," he smiled ruefully, rubbing at the back of his
neck.
Jana immediately tensed up, red flags going off everywhere. She subconsciously
wrapped the blanket tighter around her. This did not go unnoticed by Michael,
nor did he miss the worried look on Jana's face as she nervously bit her lower
lip.
He held his hands up in surrender. "Hey no biggie. I can grab a blanket from
the room. You can sleep over there and I can sleep over here. Deal?" he asked
with a smile.
Jana relaxed a little and let out a small sigh of relief, remembering the
conversation yesterday about the very same thing. 'Promise?" she asked with a
small smile of her own.
Michael placed his hand over his heart and replied,"Promise. Cross my heart."
He then got up and headed to the bedroom, returning a few minutes later with
the blanket from the bed. "Just so you know I have the better blanket," he
said, winking at her.
Jana threw a pillow at him.
 
===============================================================================
It was some two hours later when Jana woke. She was absolutely freezing! She
glanced around, noticing the television was still on but the volume had been
turned down low. She got up and walked over to the coffee table, looking for
the remote. Not finding it, she looked towards Michael, noticing it was resting
on his chest, tucked under his hand. He was sleeping, his deep, even breathing
breaking the silence in the room. She walked over to him and carefully pulled
the remote out, then shut off the television. She put the remote on the coffee
table and looked once more at Michael.
She watched as his chest rose in the steady rhythm of someone deep in sleep. He
looked so peaceful. In that moment, Jana wanted to crawl in next to him and
just lay there. She was so cold - both inside and out - and wanted to feel
warm. He looked so warm, she thought to herself, biting her lip in indecision.
The sectional was humongous - very wide. There would be plenty of room for her
next to him. He may not even feel her, she convinced herself. Fuck it, she
thought. She would tempt her fate and try to weasel her way in next to him.
Jana walked over to him, lifting up the blanket and sliding in as slowly and
quietly as she possibly could. She held her breath the entire time. As she was
trying to lay down, Michael mumbled a bit, and his outside arm flopped off the
couch. Jana stopped moving and sat as still as possible. Had she woken him??
She turned to look at his face, but thankfully his eyes were still closed and
he was still breathing steadily. Jana slowly laid down, maneuvering herself and
scooting so that she was tucked in next to his armpit. She finally worked up
enough courage to inch her head onto his chest. Once she got comfortable - and
he didn't wake up - she let her breath out and sighed in relief.
 Just as she suspected - he was incredibly warm and comfy. Jana could hear his
steady heartbeat thudding in her ear, and it eventually lulled her to sleep.
The last thing Jana remembered was feeling Michael wrap his arm around her,
pulling her closer into his side.
What Jana didn't see was the small smile that played on Michael's lips as she
snuggled in closer to him, nor did she feel the gentle kiss he pressed against
her forehead as he, too, fell back asleep.
 
***** Chapter 19 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warning - flashbacks of childhood sexual abuse.
Jana heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Cracking her eyes open
slightly, Jana could see the shadow of her uncle coming into the room she
stayed in at her grandmother’s house. She could see his sillohuette as he
stepped into the room and slowly closed the door. Jana wrapped the blanket even
tighter around her and turned over, feeling the sweat all over her body. She
had hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t come tonight. He always came. She could
not escape him.. She kept the blanket wrapped tightly around her, tucked in
even at her feet. She felt him lay down behind her. She could feel his body
heat as he molded his body to hers. She could feel "it" stabbing her in the
back. She hated that thing. She hated him. Why couldn’t she fight him off? Why
wouldn’t he leave her alone? Jana felt him grab her face, his fingers under her
chin, trying to turn her face back to him. She heard him whispering for her to
turn over. He pulled her over onto her back and she continued to lie still,
praying and hoping he would just leave if he thought she was still asleep. Jana
felt his hands slide under the blanket, and then onto her stomach where his
hand inched closer down between her legs. Jana kept her legs clenched tight,
trying to avoid what was to come at all cost. She wanted to scream but no noise
would come out. She couldn’t get air in her lungs. Why couldn’t she breathe? If
she could just catch her breath she could scream and someone would come. Jana
slowly opened her eyes, seeing his reddish stubble under his chin and began
screaming…
Michael woke up to Jana screaming in his ear, pushing and clawing at him. She
was trying to untangle herself from the blanket. She was frantic, her breathing
was fast and broken, and she was crying. She wouldn’t stop slapping at him,
trying to push him off.
“Jana? What’s wrong? Michael asked, still groggy from sleep. He could feel the
blanket being pulled from his side as she tried to find her way out. She pushed
at him more forcefully, trying to push his face away from hers. She slapped him
across the face. Michael came to, wide awake now.
“Wait! Stop! Jana stop!” Michael grabbed at Jana’s shoulders, trying to calm
her down. Jana grabbed at his hands, clawing at them in a desperate attempt to
remove them from her body.
“Get off me! Get off me! Mom!” Jana screamed. “Somebody help me! Get off me!”
Jana successfully untangled herself from the blanket and fell to the floor,
scrambling backwards away from Michael. Michael sat up on the couch, holding
his hands up in front of him. What the fuck was going on?
“Jana, baby? Jana what’s wrong?” Michael attempted to get off the couch and
move towards her but Jana screamed again, causing him to stop. She was huddled
in a tiny ball on the floor, backed into the corner of the sectional, the
blanket wrapped around her shaking body. She had her hands placed over her ears
and she was rocking. She was mumbling something to herself, something
indecipherable to his ears. Michael had no idea what was going on.
“Don’t come near me! This time I’ll tell! I promise I’ll tell!” Jana screamed
at him. Her eyes were glazed over, as if she was seeing him but not seeing him
– all at the same time. Michael felt helpless. Something was going on and he
had no idea what the fuck it was.
“Jana, love, it’s Michael,” he said in a soothing voice. “Jana, you’re having a
bad a dream. You had a bad dream, but it’s over….”
She wouldn’t stop rocking and shaking, her face looking downwards, her eyes
tightly shut. Michael slowly inched his way off the couch and onto the floor,
taking care not to move too fast so as not to startle her.
“Baby, look at me. It’s Michael, remember? Let me help you baby.” Michael
inched closer to her. She seemed to be calming down, not shaking as much, but
she was still rocking.
“Jana, look at me. Jana. Baby, it’s Michael. I need you to look at me.” Michael
had inched closer til he was sitting right in front of her. He dared not touch
her.
“Jana…” he said softly. Jana stopped rocking and slowly raised her head, her
eyes connecting with his eyes. She slowly dropped her hands from her ears. 
Michael could see the glossed-over look in her eyes slowly fade as recognition
came.
“Michael?”  she whispered.
With recognition came shame. Michael could see it as it crossed her face. Jana
burst into tears once more, deep, wracking sobs that shook her whole body.
Michael moved forward and took her into his arms, feeling her tears soak
through his tank top. He rubbed her back up and down, smoothed her hair, and
whispered to her that she would be alright, that they would be alright. He held
her tightly to his chest, rocking both of them back and forth.
“I am so sorry.” Jana choked out between sobs. Michael shushed her, telling her
it was alright, and continuing to rub her back, holding her tightly as she
cried her heart out.
“It’s okay, love. It’s okay. I’ve got you now.” Michael whispered in her ear
***** Chapter 20 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sorry for errors! These last few chapters are killing me and I
     haven't checked much for errors! Just needed to get them out!
Michael had eventually gotten Jana to calm down enough that they could move up
to the couch. He had lifted her up in his arms and had her sitting on his lap,
cradling her like a child. He could really feel just how frail she was. He
could barely feel her sitting on his lap, her head resting on his chest under
his chin. She was so light, like a frightened little bird. He continued to rub
her back, trying to comfort her as best as he could. If he were to be quite
honest, he didn’t know what in the hell to do. He was at a loss right now.
“This is better than the floor, right love?” Michael said, breaking the
silence.  Jana just sniffled.“Care to tell me what happened?”
He felt Jana stiffen in his arms a bit. He would not press. “If you don’t want
to say its okay. I just need to know how to help you.”
They sat a few more minutes, before Jana spoke. “It’s your beard,” she
whispered, barely audible.
Michael tilted his head closer to her, unsure of what he had heard. “What was
that sweetheart? I didn’t hear you.”
Jana absentmindedly twisted the edge of his tank top in her fingers before
replying a little louder. “It’s your beard. The color of your beard. I can’t
take it. The red color.”
Michael was no closer to figuring out what was going on than before. What was
wrong with his beard? He pulled her back a little so he could try to look at
her face, his eyes searching for any kind of answer. “Jana, baby, please
explain. I don’t understand. Did my beard hurt you? Scratch you?”
“No Michael. It’s just the color. He had the same color beard.” Jana said
weakly. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take.
“Who, sweetie? Who is he?” Jana buried her face back in his chest. She couldn’t
do this. She just couldn’t do this.
“Jana. Please tell me who he is. Who hurt you?” Michael could feel his anger
rising. Somewhere, someone had done something to her, causing all this
bullshit.
“He was my uncle Michael. He had reddish brown hair and blue eyes.” Jana
stated. “Just like you,” she finished, whispering again.
Michael sat for a moment, trying to process this new information. Now it made
sense. Jana must have been dreaming. She was having some kind of nightmare
about this uncle of hers before she woke up.  She had her head on his chest and
when she woke she saw his beard, Michael thought. His red beard.  He didn't
even have a full beard now, just a week of not shaving. What the fuck? What the
fuck had happened with her uncle that his beard color would trigger this in
her? He would find that out later. Right now he needed to take care of
something.
“Jana I am going to lay you down on the couch while I take care of something,
right? Will you be okay?” Michael asked, lifting her up off his lap and moving
to lay her down. As he laid her down, she wrapped herself tighter in the
blanket, and nodded, “Yes I’ll be fine.” Michael picked up the remote and
turned the television on, before leaning down and smoothing her hair off her
forehead. “Do you need anything before I head out?”
“Can I have one of my pills?” Jana asked him, not looking at his face. She was
so full of shame and embarrassment. It was killing him inside to see her this
broken. He needed to fix it somehow.
“Absolutely.” Michael walked over to the counter where the pills were, grabbed
one and a bottle of water and brought it back to Jana. “Here you go sweetie.”
Jana took the pill, placed it in her mouth, and swallowed it down with a sip of
water. "Right, then."  Michael placed a brief kiss on her forehead and began to
stand up.
“Thank you Michael,” she reached for his hand. “I don’t know how to explain all
this, and I am so sorry you are a part of this...I - ” She was close to tearing
up again.
Michael sat back down beside her on the couch and put his index finger on her
lips, effectively silencing her. “Nonsense, my sweet little Schatzi,” he
replied, smiling softly at her. “That’s what friends are for right?” He kissed
her once more on the forehead before grabbing his cellphone, room key, and
sunglasses. He stepped out into the hallway, locking the door behind him and
walked across to the elevator, angrily pushing the button to go down.
He was going to go find some razors or a barber shop and shave this goddamn
beard off right now.
***** Chapter 21 *****
Michael stepped out of the Walgreens, his shades on and a new hat pulled down
low on his head. Another damn hat. Thankfully he had gone unnoticed. He really
wasn’t in the mood for any fans right now. He had gotten what he needed – a
razor and some shaving cream. As soon as he got back to the hotel he was going
to take care of his face. As Michael walked back, he decided to cross the
street and walk over to the seawall, trying to get his thoughts in order before
going back to the room. He found a lone bench that wasn’t taken by tourists yet
and took a seat.
He needed a fucking cigarette, but he was trying to quit. Fuck but if he didn’t
want one right now.
As Michael looked out towards the beach, he watched as the waves came in and
out, crashing onto the shore. It was a beautiful morning. One that he didn’t
want to waste. There was so many things he wanted to do with Jana, but to be
honest she was scaring him. He had never seen someone so damaged. He’d
certainly never had someone – especially a female – react to him the way she
had. He barely knew her, but yet he felt so protective of her, even now. She
was beautiful to be sure. Not his typical type, but beautiful nonetheless. She
was short when he usually went for tall and leggy. She was Caucasian, when he
was known for loving the darker skinned ladies. She had brown hair and brown
eyes – nothing exotic about her. To be quite honest, she was the antithesis of
everyone he had ever been attracted to. Maybe it was because Jana was real?
Strip all the Hollywood glamour away and you had Jana. Quiet, reserved, shy
Jana. The Jana whose nose crinkled when she laughed. The Jana who chewed on
either her fingernails or her lower lip when she was worried or indecisive.
He thought back to their initial conversation – if you could call it that. He
sent out that text message and his Jana had answered. For whatever reason, she
answered. Their friendship was born. It was rocky, he laughed to himself,
remembering how she had cussed him out. As many times as Jana said she didn’t
want to talk to him anymore, she would always answer or text him. He had come
to look forward to her texts, and eventually phone calls and emails. They had a
friendship that didn’t require answers. She didn’t ask about his personal life
and he didn’t ask about hers. They had never crossed that line with each other.
They made each other laugh, and he pissed her off – or so she says.
Michael smiled softly to himself, thinking about how Jana had always been so
happy when he had sent her a box, or a postcard. However, the thing with Jana
was that she didn’t ask him to do those things. Unlike most women he knew, Jana
didn’t want anything from him. She didn’t care that he was famous. In fact she
hid from the fans when he got surrounded. That alone made him want to do things
for her, things that he had never done for anyone else. She made him want to do
things for her. He had never felt that way about any female to be quite honest.
He’d never given anyone a leather shark tooth bracelet either, Michael thought
with a wry smile. That had to mean something right? He simply couldn’t figure
her out, even now.
If his manager knew about Jana he’d tell him to run, and run fast. Michael knew
this. There was something seriously wrong with Jana. He wasn’t blind. He could
see something had happened, and it was still affecting her. In spite of that,
Michael wanted to take care of her. He had seen how he could calm her down, how
she responded to his touch, to his laugh, to his gentle joking. He knew he had
an effect on her. She was starting to trust him. She would watch him like a
frightened deer, curious but cautious. He had seen her watching him last night.
It almost seemed like she wanted something from him, but was too afraid to ask.
She was so timid. He remembered how his heart had melted and his breath caught
when she had crawled onto the couch with him last night. She would not have
done that if she knew he was awake. But he was, and he couldn’t help but smile
thinking about it now. She fit perfectly next to him, tucked under his chin. He
had never been more comfortable than when he had wrapped his arm around her and
pulled her close, hearing her sigh softly into his chest.
And then it all went to shit.
That was the scary part. He needed to find out what was wrong, what had
happened. They had maybe 2 days left together, and then they would go their
separate ways until the next time – if there would be a next time. What if
there wasn’t a next time? Michael's brow furrowed at this thought.  What if
this was it? Michael knew that if he and Jana were to have any kind of
relationship – even a friendship only – he was going to have to work, and work
hard at it. Would Jana work as hard? Would she want to have a relationship with
him? This was ridiculous, he thought to himself. Not to be conceited, but he
did not lack in the women department. He didn’t have trouble there at all. Now
that he wanted to possibly have a relationship with someone, would she want one
with him? He remembered what she had said about actors. She didn’t have a high
opinion of them. Even worse, would Jana be able to handle his world, and could
he handle hers? A movie star and an Army captain? In what world did that pan
out? Fuck if he knew.
“Fuck me,” Michael said out loud, running his hands through his hair. He took
one last look out at the waves rolling in and out, picked up the bag, and
headed back to the hotel.
***** Chapter 22 *****
When Michael made it back to the hotel, he was surprised to see Jana had gotten
up, showered, and was dressed to go out. She was sitting at the counter in the
kitchen, drinking coffee. She was wearing a pink tank top, denim shorts, and
was barefoot. She smiled at him as he walked in, closing the door behind him.
“For a minute I thought you had caught a plane back to New York,” Jana said
shyly. Michael smiled back, walked over and kissed her on the forehead.
“Of course not, love. You can’t run me off that easy,” he told her with a wink.
“So where’d you go?” Jana asked, eyeing his Walgreens bag. “The pharmacy?” she
arched an eyebrow.
“Actually that’s a surprise, love. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be back out,”
he said before heading off to the bathroom. He popped his head out of the room
once more, saying “I’ll be right back,”  before disappearing into the bedroom.
Hearing the bathroom door shut, Jana took the rest of her coffee and headed out
to the balcony. She needed to get some sun, and it was still early enough for
it to not be stifling. She was still sitting there, staring out at the ocean
when Michael opened the balcony door and stepped out, grinning his shark grin
at her.
Jana’s mouth dropped open.
He had shaved his beard off. All of it. His facial hair was completely gone.
“Michael…” she trailed off. God he must think she was a complete freak now! She
had made him shave his beard off! Fuck, Jana thought!
“Do you like this better?” Michael asked. “I know my beard bothered you, so I
got rid of it.” He was still grinning, all teeth on display. Jana just sat
there. She was really speechless. He seemed happy but…
Michael held his hands out, palms up. ‘Well?? What do you think?” He waved one
hand around his face, gesturing at where his beard used to be. Jana didn't know
what to say.
“Michael I didn’t mean for you to shave your beard. I mean…you didn’t have
to..” she trailed off.
“Pfffft!” Michael snorted. “It’s just hair – it’ll grow back - and soon.” He
walked over and knelt down beside her chair. He grabbed her hand and placed her
palm on his cheek. “Do you like this better or not?” he asked her, his eyes
searching her face for something, anything to let him know he’d done something
good.
Looking at his eyes, seeing the earnestness there, Jana came to the realization
that he hadn’t done this because he felt pressured to shave. He hadn't done it
because of her - he had done it for her. To help her. He knew his beard made
her uncomfortable. He went out, bought a razor, and shaved it off. For her.
Jana rubbed his cheek a bit, causing him to close his eyes and lean into her
palm. “Yes, Michael. I like this much better. Thank you,” she said with a
smile. He opened his eyes, smiling back at her. “Now what should we do today?”
Michael leaned up, planted a soft kiss on her forehead before replying,
“Whatever you want to do love. I'm all yours.”
***** Chapter 23 *****
It was the night before Jana and Michael checked out of the hotel. They had
spent their final days walking Galveston Island and there was nothing they
hadn’t done. They were trying to fit it all in, make as many memories as
possible. They both knew this. The inevitable was coming – they would be
separating tomorrow morning. They hadn’t talked about any of the incidents -
Michael didn’t ask and Jana didn’t offer. There was an unspoken sentiment
hanging in the air - don’t waste the precious time they had left.
Back in the hotel, Jana was busying herself with all the minor details, packing
up her things in the bedroom so as not to forget anything tomorrow. Michael
stepped out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of board shorts, his hair
still wet and spiky from the shower. Jana could see his reflection in the
mirror. She couldn’t help but stare. The man was perfection. She could see the
water still glistening on his skin where the towel hadn’t quite done its job.
His broad shoulders were much tanner now that he had been out in the sun so
much. Those shoulders led down to his wide chest, which had just enough hair to
run your fingers through. That chest hair tapered down, coming together below
his navel and heading down to-
“You alright, love?” Michael asked, scrubbing at his hair once more, trying to
dry it. It was even more spiky now. He had caught her staring at him in the
mirror. Fuck if she didn’t want to run her fingers through his hair, feeling
the short curls that played at the nape of his neck. “Jana?”
Jana snapped to, turning and looking up at his face. “Oh yeah,” she said
hastily. “Was just thinking of what I needed to leave out. You know for
tomorrow….” she trailed off. The subject that no one wanted to talk about. Jana
quickly grabbed her things and headed into the shower, shutting the bathroom
door behind her. She needed to calm her mind. She quickly turned the water on,
letting the steam fill up the room while she stripped. She stepped in the
shower, feeling the hot water run down her back, washing away all the sun,
sand, and salt that she had accumulated today during their excursions. As Jana
began washing her hair, her thoughts turned back to Michael.
She was attracted to him. There – she admitted it to herself. She had almost
been raped by one man in the past week, then freaked out on this man because of
his beard color, and now she was attracted to him. Highly attracted. Who wasn’t
attracted to him? Fuck he was one of the hottest things going right now - or so
she heard. But was her being attracted to him after all of this bullshit
normal? Before she had always shied away from anything sexual, doing the least
amount possible. She didn't seek men out, didn't try to be sexy. When she was
in a relationship, the sex was for the guy. It was always something they
wanted. Sex just wasn’t her thing. She had come to accept that. Her body just
wasn’t made for sex. She didn’t like it, it made her feel dirty, and she never
got anything out of it. She just wasn’t made for sex – bottom line.
Michael – on the other hand - that man was like walking sex. He was made for
making love.  Michael was different. He made her feel different things, things
she had never felt before. He felt safe and she was attracted to him - all at
the same time. That was a foreign feeling for Jana.  Any woman would be lucky
to be the object of his affection. An uncontrollable shiver washed over Jana as
she thought again of him standing there, fresh out of the shower, water still
trickling down his smooth face and onto his chest. She wondered what he smelled
like? “Fuck, Jana! You idiot!” she mumbled to herself. She needed to stop this
and stop it now. Jana hurriedly finished washing her hair and turned the water
off. Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the shower rod, she wrapped her
hair up before grabbing another towel to dry off. Jana quickly got dressed in
sweat pants and a tank, pulled her hair up in a messy bun, and headed back out
into the living area.
Fuck.
Michael was standing at the kitchen counter, eating a small pint of Ben &
Jerry’s. Still shirtless. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Jana thought. She was not going to
be able to keep her eyes off him. Doing her best to ignore him, she headed
straight to the fridge herself, grabbing her own pint of ice cream. She grabbed
a spoon and headed to the couch, not saying a word. Michael just stared at her,
licking the last bit of ice cream off his spoon, his head turning and eyes
following her as she walked over and sat on the couch. Jana felt the cushion
sink next to her as Michael plopped down.
Fuck. He was still shirtless. Not only was he shirtless, but he was sitting two
inches away from her. Fuck. Jana began angrily jabbing at her ice cream,
desperately trying to take her mind off him. Fucker.
“Jana – sweetie – is something wrong?” Michael turned towards her, curiousity
in his eyes. Jana turned to look at him once, practically glaring, before
turning back to the television. She didn’t even know what the fuck they were
watching. “Jana?” he asked once more.
“No.. MICHAEL….nothing’s wrong.” She ground out, emphasizing his name.
“What flavor have you got there?” He leaned over her, trying to peer into her
ice cream. Jana angrily moved her ice cream away from him, holding it out to
her side. “None of your business. You have your own. Eat that.” Michael leaned
forward, placing his ice cream and spoon on the coffee table before setting
back on the couch and turning to her.
“You are being a brat. What flavor have you got?” he asked her once more.
Jana sighed. A pent-up, frustrated, fuck-off sigh. “Salted caramel core-
something or other. If you really must know,” she bit out.
“Can you give me a bite? I have never tried that flavor.” Jana eyed him
suspiciously. What was he playing at? She needed to get up off her ass and off
this couch before she did something stupid. Like try to jump on him. That would
be really stupid.
With a huff, Jana reluctantly offered him her pint and spoon. Michael shook his
head.
"No, sweet, just get a spoonful and give me a bite." Jana looked at him
sharply. He wasn't smiling, but she could see something in his blue eyes. It
seemed like they had darkened. Was she imagining things?? "Just get out a tiny
bit and give me a bite." he said softly once more.
"Ok, whatever..." she mumbled as she dug out a small spoonful before offering
it to him. Michael leaned forward and slowly took the ice cream in his mouth,
his eyes never leaving hers. Jana swallowed hard, almost in a daze. She watched
as he licked his lips, removing any trace of leftover ice cream. She nervously
bit her lower lip as she stared at the corner of his perfect mouth. If she
could just -
Michael leaned forward and ever so slightly pressed his nose to hers, foreheads
touching. His eyes were closed, and he sighed deeply before turning his head a
fraction and lightly brushing his lips across her cheek. Jana closed her eyes.
She couldn't breathe. Fuck he was making it hard to breathe. She could feel his
breathe hot on her cheek as he nuzzled it, his lips softly moving across her
skin. She turned her head, subconsciously seeking his lips and found them. She
felt Michael's lips on hers, soft at first. He was so gentle, a tiny nibble on
her lower lip, and light suck on her upper lip. She felt him take the ice cream
from her slack hands. Then his strong hands were on her face, cradling it as he
kissed her with more force, but still questioning her, asking for permission. 
She was lost. All that mattered now was his lips on hers, the feel of his hands
on her face, pulling her closer. Jana grabbed at his shoulders, feeling the
bare skin and the hard muscle there. She couldn't get close enough to him. Jana
wrapped her hands around his neck, her fingers tangling in the hair at the back
of his head, trying to pull him closer.
And then it was over. She felt Michael's fingers prying her hands off his neck,
bringing them back around to her lap. He had stopped kissing her, his forehead
resting against hers once again. Both were breathing heavy. Jana was in a daze.
"Michael? What did I do wrong?" Jana asked hesitantly, still unsure of what had
happened. She obviously wasn't a good kisser if his reaction was any
indicator. 
Michael was still breathing heavy, trying to catch his breath when he pulled
back to look in her eyes.
"Nothing, baby. You did everything right." he said with a small smile.
Jana was confused. "But?"
"But - I don't want to do anything you are going to regret, sweetie." Michael
said to her, smoothing the hair off her forehead. Regret? What the fuck?! Jana
thought to herself, blinking in confusion.
"Michael I am not going to regret anything. If I did something wrong tell me.
I'll fix it," she argued with him, her eyes searching his face for signs of
disappointment.
Michael smiled at her, and then kissed her once more on the mouth - hard this
time - before pulling her into his arms. He maneuvered them so that they were
laying down, she with her head on his chest. Jana could feel the tears welling
up. She knew she wasn't good enough for him. He was used to Hollywood stars
with perfect bodies and no mental health problems. She was a fucking basketcase
with a weird body. She couldn't contain the sniffle that slipped out.
"Jana? Baby? Are you crying?"
"No I am not," she replied, trying to bury her face back in his chest. Michael
was having none of it. He sat back up, taking her with him. He pulled her away
from his chest, tilting her head up with his finger under her chin. She had her
eyes tightly closed.
"Baby look at me," he ordered. "Jana open your eyes and look at me. Please."
Jana opened her eyes, looking at Michael with a mixture of longing and regret.
She was so embarrassed and the tears were coming . "You don't want me?" she
whispered.
Michael wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "Fuck Jana. I have never wanted
anyone more than I want you right now. It's taking everything in me not to fuck
your brains out right now. You are so goddamned sexy and it's killing me not to
make love to you right now." Michael's voice was strained, his mouth set in a
hard line.
"Then...why?" she asked him. None of this made sense.
Michael ruefully smiled at her again before replying, "Because, baby, I know
that if we made love right now it would help neither of us. Yes it would be
fucking fantastic, but I don't want to do anything you'd regret." Michael eyes
fell to her mouth as he stroked his thumb over her lower lip. "You have no idea
how much I want to kiss you again. No idea at all."
He looked back up at her eyes, still seeing the unshed tears there.
"Baby, how I have controlled myself this long I'll never know. What I do know
is that there is something different about you, something special, and I don't
want to ruin it with one night. You have some things that have been hurting
you, and I don't want to complicate things for us. Do you understand?" He
looked at her, pleading with her to understand, to believe him. "I want there
to be an us, baby, not just some night in a hotel. Believe me when I tell you
how much I want you. You are fucking sexy and it's taking every bit of self-
control I have not to give in and make love to you right here." They continued
to stare at each other - Jana waging a war with self-doubt and Michael begging
her to believe him. "You believe me, right?"
Jana nodded slowly, not sure whether she believed him or not. Michael kissed
her once more on the forehead before pulling her back down on top of him,
resting her head on his chest. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch
and covered the both of them.
Neither of them would get much sleep that night.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 24 *****
The next morning came all too quickly. Neither Jana nor Michael wanted to get
up. They lay there for some time, Michael absentmindedly stroking Jana’s back
while she fiddled with the sparse hair on his chest. He did smell wonderful,
Jana thought to herself. She could lie here all day, listening to his steady
heartbeat under her ear. However, reality was beckoning. It was almost 8am, and
they needed to check out by 11. Then make the trip back to Dallas to catch her
flight heading back overseas, and Michael would catch his flight taking him to
Los Angeles this time.
“What time is your flight again?” Micheal broke the silence.
“It leaves at 4..” Jana trailed off. She was miserable. Absolutely fucking
miserable. Ordinarily she would be thrilled to be heading back downrange, but
right now she did not want to leave Michael.
“Mine leaves at 5 I think.” Michael stated flatly. “We should probably get up,
you think?”
Jana didn’t want to move. She was doing her best to keep the tears at bay. If
she spoke now, she would lose it.
“Jana?” Michael asked again.
She just nodded and moved to get up, placing her hand on his chest as she tried
to remove herself from the blanket. She needed to get to the bathroom so she
could properly break down. Not in front of Michael. Michael could sense her
pain, and grabbed her hand from his chest, pulling her back down on top of him.
He wrapped his arms around her, and Jana broke down. Her tears fell softly on
his chest. She didn’t make a sound, other than the occasional sniffle. This was
not a sobbing, wailing crying spell – this was just heartbreak, plain and
simple. She did not want to leave him. She was just getting to really know him.
“Wanna talk about it?” Michael asked, still holding her tightly, his fingers
caressing her bare arms.
“No.” she mumbled. No she just wanted to cry, and stay buried in his chest. She
definitely didn’t want to talk about it.
“Sweetie, I think we need to talk about it. If it’s this upsetting to you, we
need to talk about it.”
Jana sniffled and wiped at her face before replying. “It’s only upsetting to
me, so I will deal with it, ok? Nothing to talk about.”
Michael stopped rubbing her arms. “What do you mean only upsetting to you? You
think I am not fucking pissed that we have to leave each other?”
Jana's breath caught. What was he saying?
“Believe me, sweetheart, I don’t want to leave any more than you do.” Michael
whispered softly.
Jana pushed herself up off his chest and looked at him, searching his face for
truth. “Really?” she asked incredulously. Did he really mean that? Michael
grinned his shark grin, pulled her to him and kissed her soundly on the mouth.
Jana was still dazed when he laid her back down on his chest and he once again
wrapped his arms around her tightly.
“Of course, silly girl. I don’t buy just anyone a leather shark tooth bracelet,
you know.” Jana looked down at her wrist, to the bracelet in question, and
smiled softly. “I am going to miss the shit out of you.”
“So what do we do?” Jana asked softly.
“How much longer do you have overseas?”
“A little less than 4 months.” She replied. Fuck but that sounded like forever!
“Fuck that is a long time.” Michael hissed out. “Fuck it though. We’ll do what
we have to do, right?” Jana nodded her head against his chest. “We can Skype
now, and still email, and I’ll call you if you want. I’ll buy you a fucking
cell phone if you want?” Michael continued. “Well? What do you think? Then when
you get back we can pick up where we left off, right?”
Jana was speechless. She didn’t know how to respond. He really did want to
maintain a relationship with her??
“Jana, baby, say something. What are you thinking?” Michael pressed. Why wasn’t
she talking to him? Michael sat up, taking her with him. He leaned back from
her, and lifted her chin with his finger, forcing her to look at him. “Can you
please say something?” he asked her softly, looking in her eyes.
Jana wiped at her face, at the remainder of the tears, before replying. “I just
can’t believe that you want to continue this. I am sorry. After everything I
have put you through…all my crazy stuff..and you still want to talk to me? Are
you sure?” She lowered her eyes, not wanting to see how he would respond to
that. Yeah - she was fucking crazy – did he really want to be involved in that?
“You must be crazy if you think I want to let you go. All that other stuff?
It’s all stuff we can fix, ok? It’s not who you are Jana. Something happened to
you – yes – but that doesn’t make you who you are. You understand?” Michael
forced her head back up, forcing her to look at him. ‘Right? We can fix
whatever it is. I don’t want to lose you over that bullshit. Whatever I need to
do to fix it I will.” He sounded very determined.
Jana could feel the tears in her eyes once more, but these weren’t tears of
misery. They were happy tears. They had to be. She smiled shyly as she wrapped
her arms up and around his shoulders, burying her face into his neck. Michael
wrapped his arms around her, fully, holding her to him as he stroked her back
and kissed the top of her head.
 
===============================================================================
It was close to 2pm when they finally arrived at the airport. Though neither
spoke much on the ride there, they held hands the entire time while in the car.
Michael waited outside the airport rental agency as Jana turned in the car. He
didn't want to be famous today. He wanted to spend what little time he had left
with Jana. As she came out of the rental shop, he grabbed her hand and pulled
her into a secluded area covered by trees and other decorative plants off to
the side of the building. There was a small bench there on which he sat,
pulling her down onto his lap. This time he buried his face in her neck. There
was only a few minutes before they had to separate and get their boarding
passes. Each would go in a different direction.
"I am going to fucking miss you." He mumbled into her neck.
"Don't make me start crying again, jerk." Jana said playfully, willing herself
not to cry. Why was this so hard? They barely knew each other!!
"I can't believe you just called me a jerk. We have only a few minutes left and
you're calling me names," he said, his mouth moving against her neck. She
shivered as he did so.
"I'm sorry, you're right. How can I make it up to you?" Jana asked, running her
fingers through his hair. He lifted his head and looked up at her.
"Kiss me." His voice was husky and his eyes were a dark, turbulent blue. 'Kiss
me and I'll forgive you."
Jana licked her lower lip nervously, moving her hands from his hair and cupping
his face as she lowered her lips to his. She was hesitant, unsure of herself,
and not knowing what to do as she lightly pressed her lips against his.
Immediately Michael took over, kissing her with a passion that made her dizzy.
His lips pulled at her lower lip, sucking on it slightly. Jana couldn't
breathe. She didn't want to breathe. All she wanted was  for Michael to
continue doing what he was doing. He had his hands at her lower back, pulling
her into him as his lips ravaged hers. This kiss wasn't sweet and gentle any
longer - it was a kiss full of longing and passion. A kiss for them to remember
each other by.
The noise of a horn honking nearby brought them out of their seclusion. Michael
pulled back, lightly kissing her on her neck, before looking up at her. His
eyes were still that beautiful dark blue. Jana could feel that her lips were
raw, swollen from his kisses. She bit at her lower lip again, wanting him to
continue.
"Don't do that love." Michael said with a small smile, staring at her lips. "I
want to be the only one to bite that lower lip." Jana stopped breathing.
"We should probably get up. If we continue here I won't be able to walk through
the airport." Michael said, waggling his eyebrows and flashing his sharky grin.
The man was positively depraved. He had her so weak at the knees, she didn't
know if she could walk!
He stood up, helping Jana stand in the process. They were still holding each
others' hands. Michael looked down at her. 'You'll email me when you get a
chance?"
Jana nodded. Please don't cry, please don't cry! She willed herself not to cry.
Michael pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head, before pulling back
to look down at her once again. He saw the sadness and he saw the worry,
evident on Jana's face.
"Baby don't worry. It'll be over before we know it, right?" He forced a
confident smile on his face. He would be damned if he would add more to her
already full-plate. He needed to be the strong one here.
"Ok sweetie, it's that time. We need to get our boarding passes. Will you be
alright?" Michael asked her, dropping one hand and picking up his bag with the
other.
Jana nodded, "Yes, I'll be fine. Once I get on the plane I'll be fine." She was
lying to herself. Once she got on the plane she was getting a fucking drink. A
strong fucking drink. Hopefully she would sleep the whole way there.
Michael knew she was lying as well. There was nothing that could be done
though. Not til she came back to him. "Right then. I guess we'll get on with
it..." Michael trailed off, not wanting to drop her hand and let her go. How
was he going to do this?
Jana did it for him. She dropped his hand, reached up and kissed him quickly on
the cheek and walked away. She had to leave before he saw her break. Michael
didn't say anything. He let her go.
He watched her disappear through the rotating doors and turn left,  before he
pulled his hat down low and followed, heading right  in the opposite direction
to get his boarding pass. These next 4 months were going to suck ass.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 25 *****
Chapter Summary
     Forgive me for what is about to happen. All good things must come to
     an end - at least momentarily ;-)
The months went by slowly for Jana. She and Michael communicated daily –
sometimes multiple times in a day – for the first month or so. After that it
began to taper off, just like before. Jana couldn’t solely blame Michael
though. She knew he was busy on some new film, and she was busy herself. She
had taken on multiple assignments, many that took her from Arifjan. She had
done some traveling to Djibouti, Africa, in support of a possible new mission.
For almost a month she was barely able to check her email, let alone Skype or
use the phone. Work kept her busy. She was also in a better place mentally.
Leaving Michael had been hard in the beginning, but like all things, time
heals. She still cared for him, but it wasn’t a necessity. Not anymore.
However, she still tried to keep in contact with him. She would shoot out
emails, and he would occasionally answer, most times with some short message
telling her he missed her and couldn’t wait to see her. He would still send
boxes, but they seemed to be fewer and farther in between. He hadn’t included
any notes in such a long time. Jana would take a guess that he had someone buy
the things and ship them for him – they were that impersonal. Yet she still did
not blame Michael. She knew he was a good guy, but he was a busy good guy.
Besides, he owed her nothing.
The evening before she was set to fly out, Jana was getting one last workout
in. She was at the post gym, going for a run on the treadmill. All her things
were packed and she had nothing to do in her room. She had accidentally packed
her headphones in her duffle bag, and so she was stuck watching the few
channels the gym offered. She hated running to television. She needed music,
but it would have to do. She set the treadmill at a brisk pace, trying to get
herself warmed up before she would start running. As she was walking, she
flipped through the channels. Other than regular news channels, she could find
a home and garden channel, VH1, and The Weather Channel. She settled on VH1.
Some kind of mindless celebrity entertainment show was playing. She had it
muted, but the headline stopped her in her tracks. She pushed the red stop
button on the treadmill and stared at the screen.
It was Michael, promoting some new movie. There he was, her Michael, with a
woman on his arm. A very tall, very thin and beautiful, Hollywood actress on
his arm. According to the headline, this was Michael Fassbender’s new
girlfriend. Jana couldn’t breathe. She didn’t want to see it, but she couldn’t
look away. It was like an accident – nobody wants to see it but you look
anyway. There was her Michael. Her Michael. But he wasn’t now was he? She
thought to herself. He looked happy and well. He had a full beard again, his
ginger hair color on full display now. He was smiling at the cameras and at the
woman at his side. She saw him whisper something in the woman’s ear, saw as he
nuzzled the woman’s cheek, causing her to smile. The same way he had nuzzled
her cheek. Jana felt like she was going to vomit. She was feeling physically
ill. She could feel the sweat on her brow that was not from exercise. She had
to get out of there. She couldn’t breathe. Now it all made sense. Jana quickly
shut off the television and ran out of the gym, back to her empty room. Once
she got there, she immediately reached for her anxiety pills.
She hadn’t taken one in so long. In almost 2 months she hadn’t needed one. She
was getting better. Jana stared angrily at the pill, warring with herself. Did
she really want to take it? She had been seeing a civilian therapist on
Arifjan, and she had been working through her issues. Managing anxiety without
pills was one of the things she had been working on. She thought momentarily if
she should take it, and about why she was taking it as the therapist
recommended. She didn’t need it – she knew that. She just didn’t want to feel
the pain that she was feeling right now. Michael had hurt her, but did she
really expect anything different from him? She had known him for practically a
year, but had only spent roughly a week with him in person. They had never had
sex, never proclaimed love to each other, and never made a commitment. What did
he owe her? Nothing. He owed her nothing.
Jana’s mind was made up. She didn’t need the fucking pill and she sure as hell
didn’t need Michael. She would close that chapter for good. Jana put the pill
back into the bottle and set the bottle back up on top of the small fridge. She
didn’t need the pill. No, what she needed to do was get rid of all the emails,
messages and other shit he had given her. Jana looked down at her wrist. She
was still wearing that goddamned bracelet he had given her. She was sure that
motherfucker wasn’t wearing his, she thought bitterly to herself. She ripped
off the bracelet, and went to throw it in the trash can. Fuck. They had already
taken her trash can from her room as part of the clearing process. Jana tossed
the bracelet in her backpack. She would throw that shit away tomorrow, along
with whatever else she could find. Fuck him and his fucking bracelet.
***** Chapter 26 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Jana arrived back in Dallas a few days later. She would only be here for 2-
3 weeks at her old unit, before she PCS’ed to her new stateside unit. She
already had orders in hand. She had been given a choice – Fort Rucker, AL, or
Fort Jackson, SC. Both were great places – both close to the beach. She
ultimately chose Alabama. It was a smaller, more rural type community setting
and it was fairly close to the beach with approximately a 2 hour drive to Fort
Walton Beach, FL. Either duty station would have been great and she had already
been to both. Fort Rucker was just better. She would spend the rest of the time
here in her old unit clearing once again, getting her stuff ready to be moved,
and just waiting basically.
The first day she got back, she spent in a hotel, waiting on temporary lodging.
She wouldn’t get into another lease – not when she was moving so quickly. By
the second day back, she was given billeting until she was set to leave, so at
least she wasn’t living out of a hotel any longer. Jana had already set her
household goods up to be shipped directly from the storage facility, so she was
basically living off of what she had on her – which wasn’t a lot. She was not
on leave but she wasn’t at work either. She was clearing post, which meant she
would come and go as she pleased. She had found out from the 1SG that she was
being given a “hail and farewell” at a local bar this Friday. While she
normally dreaded these things, she wouldn’t mind this one as much. She was in a
better place now, mentally and physically. She had weaned herself off her
anxiety meds, was working out pretty much every day, and she just felt better.
While she wasn’t ready to get married, she was ready to get back out there. She
felt better about herself as a woman, and as a person.
While downrange, she had begun working through a great bit of her problems. As
the therapist said, sexual trauma was something that would have to be dealt
with for a while. There was no definitive moment when it would be “fixed” – it
would be until. Until she had worked through it, whenever that may be. She had
spoken with her therapist about Michael, and how he had helped her through a
very difficult time. She never mentioned who he really was, but she had worked
through the things that had happened with him, such as his beard triggering
her. She had spoken about wanting to make love to Michael but not wanting to at
the same time. As she had gone through the process of therapy, she had come to
realize that she was normal. All the things she felt were normal reactions from
someone who had been hurt, someone who had been traumatized. She and the
therapist agreed that sleeping with Michael during that time would have done
more damage than good. Now after everything that had happened with that
bastard, Jana was especially glad that she hadn’t slept with him. No, the only
thing she could credit him with was making her stronger, and allowing her to
see that she was worth more than just a fuck in a hotel. He didn’t deserve her.
She was worth more. It still stung when she thought about seeing him with that
bitch girlfriend of his, but it is what it is. It was a distraction, nothing
more.
===============================================================================
 
Friday came and Jana had gone out with Andy - one of the other female captains
in her unit - as both were looking for an outfit for the “hail and farewell”
tomorrow evening. It was at a local bar, but a well-known upscale bar, and she
didn’t want to look like a bum. She had worked hard for her body and she
finally felt good about herself. She needed something to show off what she had
worked hard for. They eventually wound up in a small boutique that sold a
mixture of club wear and other dressy items. With her friend’s encouragement
(peer pressure more like it) Jana finally settled on a little black dress,
overlaid with lace. It was short-sleeved, and stopped just above her knees.
Yes, she was definitely stepping out of her comfort zone. Fuck, she thought to
herself as she looked in the mirror.
She stepped out of the dressing room, insecurity weighing heavily on her. “I
don’t know about this…” she said hesitantly to her friend.
“Holy shit, Jana! You look hot!” Andy replied. “You are getting this dress! You
have to!”
Jana kept looking at herself, only seeing imperfections and flaws. She just
didn’t know. Was this appropriate for a “hail and farewell?
“Do you think this is appropriate? I mean really?” she questioned Andy. “Don’t
lie to me either!” she warned her, eying her through the mirror.
Andy shook her head, “No this is perfect. We are going to a bar, there will be
dancing and drinking, and this is the dress. You have to get it.” Andy smoothed
the back of the dress out, still admiring it. “I can’t get over how much better
you look..” she trailed off, eying Jana nervously.
“What do you mean?” Jana asked, looking at her through the mirror.
“Well, no offense, but you looked like shit before you left. We were all
worried about you.” Andy said quietly. She didn’t want to offend Jana, but the
truth was the truth. She had scared them all at one point. They all knew what
had happened to her over there..
Jana turned to look at her friend, a small smile on her face. “Yes, I know I
was not doing so well. There was a lot of …stuff…going on then, and I wasn’t
handling it well. That deployment before almost did me in and I wasn’t handling
it properly.” Jana continued, “I am sorry for being such a bitch all those
times. You have always been one of my greatest friends while in this unit.”
Jana grabbed Andy’s hand before continuing, “I am better now. Things have
changed – I have changed. It was hard and it’s not done, but I am better now.”
Andy smiled, and pulled Jana into a hug, which Jana returned. “I know it was
hard on all of us. Especially you and what you went through.” Andy whispered.
“I am so glad you are back.”
They hugged each other a little tighter, before letting go and looking at each
other. Both women had tears in their eyes. The bond that was shared between
soldiers – especially females – was strong, no matter what. After all they had
gone through, how could it not be?
“Now enough of this sappy shit! We have got to get makeup, get some hooker
shoes, and get our nails done!” Andy said, making Jana laugh out loud. Andy was
crazy - always was – but she was a good friend and just what Jana needed.
Chapter End Notes
     PCS - permanent change of station (when you move to another unit)
     billeting - military temp lodging, for when you are passing through
     or waiting for a permanent place
     hail and farewell - party thrown for people coming to a unit or
     leaving, these parties can get rowdy just FYI ;-)
***** Chapter 27 *****
Jana was nervously getting dressed in her bathroom. Andy was out there, running
back and forth from the bedroom to the living room, finishing her makeup. As if
that woman needed more makeup!! Jana fidgeted with the dress once again, still
worried about whether she looked like a high-class hooker or not. This just
wasn’t her, but she knew she needed to stop hiding behind her uniform. It was
one of the things the therapist had told her. Desensitize yourself – do
something that makes you uncomfortable. The more you do it, the more it won’t
bother you so much. She knew she needed to do this. Fuck it, she thought to
herself as she grabbed for her toothbrush.
“Hey, have you got any scissors? I need to cut something off this damn dress!”
Andy called out from the living room.
“Yeah, check in my black backpack. Should be a pair in one of the small
pockets.”  She finished brushing her teeth, wiped her face and mouth off, and
stepped out of the bathroom, dreading what was to come. Andy was going to
“help” her put makeup on. Fuck me, Jana thought with a grimace. She walked over
to the bedroom, looking for Andy. She was standing by the bed, her backpack
open.
“What’s this?” Andy replied, holding up the bracelet Michael had given her.
“You get this in Galveston?”
Fuck. She had forgotten that was in her backpack. She meant to throw that shit
away. Jana snatched it out of Andy’s hand, eliciting a small gasp from her.
Andy held her hands up. “Hey excuse me. I didn’t know…”
“No it’s nothing. Just some stupid thing I got from someone while I was down
there. I meant to throw it away.” Jana said bitterly.
Andy eyed her suspiciously. “You got it from someone? What did they do to piss
you off so much?” she asked Jana. Jana was fighting back tears. Why now? Why
the fuck now? Of all times, why now? She swiped angrily at her face, not
wanting Andy to see how much it had affected her. It did not go unnoticed.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, girl? I didn’t mean to upset you…” Andy looked at her
with concern. “Wanna talk about it?”
Jana sat down on the edge of the bed, the bracelet still in her hand. She
turned it over and over in her hands as the memories came flooding back. She
remembered how proud he was of his little cheap bracelets, that stupid perfect
grin on his face as he asked her what she thought of them. How annoyed he was
when she laughed at him. Jana smiled wryly. What a bastard he was. Andy sat
down next to Jana, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Do I know him?” she
asked softly.
Jana laughed out loud. Did she know him? Fuck – everyone knew him. He was all
over the goddamned television now.
“No, you don’t know him. He was just some guy I met on the island. We spent a
few days together, nothing more.” Jana wistfully replied. She fiddled with the
shark tooth, thinking again about him. She needed to get rid of this damn
thing.
“Where is he now?” Andy pressed. Who was this guy??
“Now? I don’t know. Who knows? It’s not worth worrying about anymore.” This
fucker was still getting to her, even now.
“Well it must have meant something to get you this worked up….”
Jana stood up, took the bracelet and walked over to the trash can, throwing it
away. “No, it means nothing. It’s done.” Jana stated harshly, before forcing a
smile. “Now you need to help me get my fucking makeup on so we can get going.”
Jana walked towards the bathroom, looking for her makeup bag.
Andy eyed her friend curiously, not believing anything she said. She looked at
the trash can out of the corner of her eye, then back to Jana, who was still
busy in the bathroom. Andy quickly walked over, pulled the bracelet out of the
trash can and shoved it in her own purse. She would hold on to that for just a
little while longer.
***** Chapter 28 *****
Jana woke up Sunday with a massive hangover. Her head was pounding. She didn’t
even remember what exactly happened. All she knew was she had too many shots.
That was for damn sure, she thought, clutching at her head. Why was everything
so loud right now? She squinted over at her bedside clock, seeing it was nearly
1pm. Fuck she had slept all damn day. She slowly got out of bed, easing her way
into the bathroom. She finished in there and went to wash her face. Damn she
looked rough. She was still in her dress, and her makeup was smeared all over
her face. She looked like a damn raccoon with the rings around her eyes! She
grabbed a towel and tried to wipe it off. She needed a shower, but first she
needed to get something to drink and maybe some something for her head. She
headed for the kitchen.
Walking into the living room, she saw Andy sleeping on the couch, wrapped up in
one of her blankets. Damn. Jana didn’t even know she was there. What the fuck
happened last night? She knew this dress was bad news. She fucking knew it, she
thought as she looked down at it in aggravation. She walked over and grabbed
the Tylenol from the top of the fridge, took 2 out and popped them in her mouth
before swallowing them down with water. Setting her glass down, she went to
make sure the front door was locked before she would get in the shower. Who
knows what they had – or had not done – last night. Locking the door – because
it wasn’t!! – Jana headed back to her room to take a shower and try to wash
some of this shit off.
After she finished showering, Jana dressed in sweats and a tee shirt. She felt
a little better, although she did throw up twice in the shower. She needed to
get some food in her stomach, as revolting as that sounded. She headed back out
into the living room area. She found Andy propped up against the sink, trying
to wash her face with a dishrag. Jana laughed a little, although it made her
head hurt. They were fucking idiots, the both of them.
“Hey,babe. Why don’t you go get a shower instead of using the sink?”
Andy turned to look at her, squinting her eyes in pain. She looked just as bad
as Jana did – if not worse. “Because I am fucking dying and I don’t know if I
can make it to the shower. I feel like I am going to be-” Andy quickly turned
back to the sink and proceeded to throw up. Jana’s stomach turned and she ran
back to the bathroom, feeling sick again herself.
As she sat on the floor, hugging the toilet, Andy stumbled in. They both looked
at each other in misery. Jana leaned over and turned on the shower for Andy,
nodding her head at her. Andy stripped off her clothes and climbed in, leaning
her head up against the shower wall.
“It was that fucking dress. I told you I should have never bought that fucking
thing…” Jana mumbled, lying down on the bathroom floor. The room was once again
spinning.
“No it was the tequila.” Andy mumbled back. “I am sure it was the tequila…”
===============================================================================
An hour later they were both seated on the couch. Neither one spoke. They sat
staring at the television -which was muted - hoping to survive their hangovers.
They didn't have any saltine crackers but Jana had white bread, so they were
both slowly munching on a slice, trying to ease their turning stomachs. It was
close to 4pm before they decided they were recovered enough to head out and
find something suitable to eat. They wound up at the shoppette, grabbing
chicken noodle soup, saltine crackers, and Sprite. Weren't those the things
that you get for upset stomach?? While in line, Andy saw a little bottle that
said "Hangover Relief" and she grabbed 4 of them, tossing them in their pile.
She shrugged her shoulders at Jana. Couldn't hurt right?
They had spent the rest of that day sitting on the couch, the combination of
meds and bland food finally easing their suffering. Around 8pm, Andy decided
she would go back to her apartment and stay there. She had no clothes or
personal hygiene items, and she was still wearing the sweats that Jana had let
her borrow. They both had work call tomorrow, although Jana just had to show
her face. She could leave after formation.  Jana closed the door after Andy,
locking both the door and the deadbolt lock. She walked back over the couch and
sat down, picking up her iPhone. She needed to set her alarm for tomorrow
morning. She hadn't really used her phone much since she had been back. Her
mother had called her 12000 times, and she wasn't ready for that conversation
just yet. Jana got pissed again just thinking about what her mother had brought
upon her. Jana had left her cell phone turned off the majority of the time,
only using it for the alarm. As she finished setting the alarm, she noticed she
had 11 text messages.
11. Her fucking mother. She opened them up, intending to delete them all. Maybe
she would block her as well...
But they weren't her mother - they were from Michael. 11 text messages from
him. She hesitated, not knowing if she should read them or delete them. She was
over him. She had worked so hard to be over him. This would just start it all
up again. She chewed on her nail, wondering what to do? How would he explain
his new girlfriend? If that was what he was doing, she chided herself. Maybe he
would lie about it like most men do, and hope that she would believe him. The
bastard. No, she was over him, but curiousity of course won out. She opened up
the first text message.
It was sent a week ago. How was she just now getting it?
Michael: Jana, babe pick up. I have been calling you a thousand times. You
should be home now.
 
He never once called her. She checked, right then and there. She checked and he
never called her. Lying bastard. She went to the next message.
 
Michael:Fuck! Where are you? Why are you not getting my messages? It's been
over 4 months, I know you are home. Text me or call me please.
Next message...
Michael:What the fuck does that email mean? I thought we discussed this? You
need to call me or text. Email me. Please
Michael:How can you send that kind of email and not respond back? What the fuck
is going on?
 
What the hell was he talking about? She had emailed him and he never emailed
back.
 
Michael: Look I don't know what is going on. Please text me or email me. I'm
heading out of the country for work but my phone and email work. Please baby.
Michael: Hello? Please text me back. Call me. Something.
Michael: You know I can figure out where you are right? Just like the hotel.
Text me or I will come find you. I swear I fucking will.
Michael: Why would you send the boxes back? That must mean you are home
right?Goddamnit I am getting pissed off now. What the fuck.
 
What the fuck? Jana had no idea what he was talking about. She hadn't gotten a
box in over 2 months. He wasn't sending her boxes so how the fuck could she
send them back???
 
Michael: Why does your phone keep ringing? It never goes to voicemail. Are you
blocking me or something. Fuck
 
Jana looked at her call log again. No. The bastard hadn't called her. Not once
since they left each other at the airport that day. Fucking liar.
 
Michael:Are you getting my emails? Why won't you email me back?
 
"Because I don't have any emails!!" She screamed at her phone. She could feel
her heart beating fast. She was livid, jaw clenched tight. He was a damned
liar.  The last message came this morning.
 
Michael:  Jana please. I am begging you. Please text me. My email must have
gone to shit again. I don't know. Please text me. At least let me know you are
ok. If you are done with me, then okay. I get it. I have read and reread your
emails a hundred times. I will leave you alone. Just like you asked. I'll do
it. Please just let me know you are back and safe. Please
 
Jana sat back against the couch, not knowing what to do. What the hell was
going on? She grabbed her laptop, opening up hotmail and looked for emails.
There were none there. Not even in her spam folder. He was lying. He hadn't
sent her any emails. He probably didn't have time, what with his new
girlfriend. Fucking bitch. 
Her mind was going a hundred miles an hour, all kinds of scenarios playing in
her head. Closing her laptop, Jana thought about the last time when Michael
didn't communicate with her. That time he had actual email problems. Could that
be the case again? Even so, it still didn't explain his bitch-face girlfriend,
she thought, her mouth set in a an angry line.
Jana pulled up her messages again. Fuck him.
 
Jana:Yes I am home. No I didn't send any boxes back as you never sent any to
me. I don't know what you are talking about with the emails either. Regardless,
I hope you are having a good time with your new girlfriend. Sure didn't take
you long. That's ok though, it didn't take me long to replace you either.
Jana angrily hit the send button. Take that, asshole.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 29 *****
Jana's phone buzzed in her hand. In less than 5 minutes Michael had sent her a
text back.
Michael:I can explain all that. Why aren't you picking up? I am calling you,
have been calling you since I got that text. I don't have a girlfriend, please
let me explain.
Michael:I told you not to watch the television. None of it's true. Please pick
up.
Michael:Where are you? I can come to where you are right now. I will get on a
plane and come now. Just let me explain in person.
 
Jana didn't know what to do. Could he possibly be telling the truth.  And why
did he say she wasn't answering? He wasn't calling!! Damn it she was so
confused right now! She didn't need this stress right now, she really did not.
Jana:I am leaving here in a few days. Makes no sense for you to come now. I
don't know what to believe. I know what I saw. I saw you kissing her and I saw
the headline. I saw it.
She had tears in her eyes now, damn him. She just didn't want to think about
what she had seen. She was over him. Why she was even this emotional was beyond
her. She barely knew this man!
 
Michael:It's not true. Nothing is as it appears. Please you have to believe me.
Please let me come and talk with you. Just give me an address.
Michael:I am begging you to believe me. It's not true.
 
Jana was so upset now. Why wouldn't he just stop already? She was supposed to
be over him. Fuck she had kissed someone last night -another man - and it felt
good. She even contemplated going home with the guy. She was over Michael. That
was the proof. She had kissed someone else, just like he had. She was over
Michael.
 
Michael:Please
 
She needed time to think. She needed to move and get settled and she needed
time to think.
 
Jana:I don't know. I know what I saw. Please let me get to where I am going and
then we can talk later. Just not right now. I can't deal with this right now.
 
Michael:I understand. When will you be leaving? Where are you going? Fuck. I
don't want to push you, but I don't want to lose you again. You have to believe
me. I don't have a girlfriend and there is no other woman. It's you Jana. It's
only been you since I met you. Just please let me explain.
 
Jana could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks. Goddamn him. He had done it
again, pulled her back in when she thought she had escaped.
 
Jana:I am moving to Fort Rucker, AL. Will be leaving in less than a week.
Please don't contact me. I will contact you when I am ready. Let me have time
to think. Please.
 
Michael: Ok. I won't bother you anymore. Please don't forget everything we had.
That shit on tv is not real. Galveston was real. I still have the bracelet and
I wear it everyday. Please don't forget all that.
Jana shut her phone down. She simply couldn't take anymore. She looked over at
the trash can. She got up quickly and ran to get the bracelet back out. It was
there, she put it there. She dumped out the contents on the floor, searching
through all the paper and miscellaneous garbage. She was on her hands and knees
searching for it, frantically pushing paper and trash around. It wasn't there.
Fuck! Where was it? She could barely see through her tears. She couldn't find
it. Jana leaned up against the wall, letting the tears overtake her.
 
***** Chapter 30 *****
It was the night before Jana was set to leave. Andy had offered to take her out
to the movies, and Jana – needing a distraction – had agreed. They had agreed
to watch some comedy. Jana needed a comedy, she simply couldn't handle anything
emotional right now. After they got their tickets, they got in line for some
popcorn and soda. There was a lot of people there tonight. Andy was busy
playing on her cell phone and Jana was looking around at nothing when her gaze
landed on one of the movie posters hanging on the walls of the lobby. It was a
poster for X-Men:Days of Future Past. There he was. Her Michael. Granted, he
looked different on the poster, but there was no mistaking those eyes. Jana
blinked rapidly, tearing her gaze away from the poster. She would not do this
now. Not now and not tonight. She would not.
"Hey you alright?" Andy asked, noticing the look on her friend's face. "What's
the matter?"
Jana blinked again, swallowing hard. She couldn't tell Andy. She wouldn't
understand. She wouldn't believe her probably, and she wouldn't understand.
"It's nothing." She forced a smile on her face. "Just gonna miss you is all."
She wrapped an arm around Andy's shoulders.
"Aww! You are gonna make me cry!" Andy replied, using her fingertips to wipe at
her eyes. "Come on, let's get our snacks and go watch this damn movie."
They got their snacks and headed into the theater, sitting along the back row.
The two of them together were crazy. Andy had a way of making Jana laugh when
she wanted to cry. She was just crazy. As the previews started rolling, they
had to stop their laughing and giggling. The lights dimmed and the screen came
alive. Andy still had her cell phone out, bright as hell in the dark theater.
"Put your phone away!" Jana whispered to Andy.
"Hold on, let me check us in!" She whispered back. She hurriedly updated her
Facebook status. Andy and her damn Facebook addiction.
"Omg you are ridiculous..." Jana said, louder than she intended, popping a
piece of popcorn in her mouth.
The first preview rolled, something about a night where people could kill each
other. Crazy, Jana thought to herself. Crazy movie. She would need to watch
that one.
The music for the next preview started. She knew immediately what it was and
her heart stopped.  There was Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier. It was the
preview for X-Men:Days of Future Past. Goddamnit. There was Michael. She
couldn't escape him. She leaned forward, her hand on the seat in front of her.
There he was, larger than life on the screen.  Jana stopped breathing. There
was Michael as Magneto. He was so beautiful. She couldn't breathe, she really
could not. She watched as they showed various clips of him in the trailer. Then
she heard his beautiful voice. Damn him. Damn him all to hell. She felt
claustrophobic. She had to get up. She needed to get up and go to the bathroom.
She needed air. She quickly put her popcorn on the ground, grabbed her purse
and stood up. She had to get out of there.
"Hey!" Andy looked up at her. "What's wrong? What are you doing?" Jana stumbled
over her, trying to get out into the aisle. "Jana!" Andy grabbed at her arm.
"I have to get out of here. Please. I need to go to the bathroom." She was
going to pass out, she could feel it.
Andy nodded her head in agreement, "Ok babe, we'll go. Let me grab my stuff,
I'll come with you." She grabbed her purse and followed Jana out of the theater
and into the hallway. They headed towards the bathroom. Once inside, Jana ran
to the sink, turning on the water and splashing it on her face. Her face was
hot and her heart was beating fast. Was she having a panic attack?
"Jana, sweetie, what's wrong? What happened in there?" Andy asked her. She was
worried about her friend. She had been doing so good.
Jana didn't answer, but kept splashing water on her face. She felt like she was
overheating. What the fuck was wrong with her?? She stood up, fanning herself
with the paper towel, trying to cool off.
"Jana, you wanna leave? We can, no biggie." Andy rubbed her back, trying to
soothe her friend. "Want some tylenol or something? Rolaids?"
Andy began digging through her purse. Fuck, she could never find anything in
this damn bag! She dumped out the contents of her purse on the counter, looking
for tylenol, or tums, or something to help her friend. The black bracelet fell
out, falling off the counter and onto the floor. Andy quickly looked at Jana.
Jana was looking down at the bracelet. She had seen it fall to the floor. She
leaned down and grabbed it off the floor clutching it to her chest.
"Where did you find this?" she whispered to Andy. "Where?" she demanded.
"Well I just thought that...you know...based off your reaction.." Andy
nervously smoothed back her hair before continuing, " I just thought you would
want it someday. That's all." She finished quickly.  "I wasn't trying to steal
it, or hide it from you, or anything like that. You know that right? Jana?"
Jana started smiling, and grabbed her friend, crushing her in a hug.
"Oh my God, you are so stupid and I love you so much!" Jana said to her, tears
in her eyes.
"What?" Andy said, leaning back to look at her friend in confusion. "You have
to tell me what's going on with this damn bracelet. First you were pissed and
throwing it away, and now you are hugging me because I dug it out of the trash?
Spill." Andy placed her hands on her hips, a determined look in her eyes. Jana
was going to explain this damn broken bracelet if she had to squeeze the truth
out of her.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Jana said, looking down at the
bracelet in her hand. She had found it. "Just thank you for knowing me better
than I know myself sometimes." She looked back up at her friend, a huge smile
on her face. If nothing else, she had the bracelet.
"Nuh-uh. No ma'am. You are not getting by that easy." Andy shook her head. "You
have to tell me what is going on."
"I'll tell you later, I promise. We're gonna miss the movie remember?" Jana
said, grabbing her purse. She grabbed Andy's purse and began shoveling all of
her shit back in. Who had this much shit in their purse? Really? Andy just
watched her, thinking how crazy her friend was.
"Ok so 10 minutes ago you were having a panic attack. Now I give you back a
bracelet that you threw in the trash and you are all good? What the fuck?" Andy
asked her, watching as she continued to put all her stuff back in her purse.
"I'll tell you later! I promise! Now come on!" Jana said, grabbing Andy's purse
and handing it to her. "Come on!" She held open the door, waiting for Andy to
follow. Andy just shook her head in disbelief and stepped out into the hallway.
Jana was still grinning like an idiot. Andy rolled her eyes at her.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 31 *****
Later that evening, Jana and Andy were walking arm in arm from the theater,
heading down to a small bar. Jana knew Andy was going to grill her on the
bracelet. How would she explain it to Andy when she herself didn’t even know
what was going on? They stepped into the dimly lit bar, finding a booth off to
the back that was empty. They slid in on opposite sides. Andy leaned across the
table, looking at Jana intently.
“Spill.”
The music wasn’t as loud back here and Andy knew she heard her. Jana looked at
her out of the corner of her eye, still busying herself with situating her
purse.
“Spill what?” she asked innocently.
She reached in her purse, feeling the bracelet, making sure it was still there.
The corners of her mouth rose in a small smile as the felt the sharpness of the
tiny shark tooth against her fingers. It was still there.
Andy pointed a finger at her, jabbing it in the air at Jana’s face. “That! That
right there! That smile and that damn bracelet!”
“Ok what do you want me to say?” Jana asked, “Fuck I don’t even know what to
say about it.”
“You are being so cryptic, oh my God. What does that mean?? Why did you throw
it away if you wanted to keep it?” God it was like pulling teeth with her!
Jana sighed. There was no escaping this. No way. She would start at the
beginning. Maybe Andy would tell her just how nuts she really is. Someone had
to be the voice of reason here.10 minutes later, Andy sat back against the
seat, her mouth agape. For the first time in their friendship, Andy was at a
loss for words. Momentarily, at least.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She grabbed her phone, pulling up a pic of
Michael and pointing at it. “This guy here? Michael Fassbender? Are you
serious?”
Jana didn’t answer, but instead pulled up her text messages, showing Andy some
of the texts from Michael. The pics he had sent her and some of the emails he
had sent.
“Close your mouth, babe. Mouth breathing is not attractive at all…” Jana said
to her with a giggle.
“Well forgive me if my best friend is dating a movie star and hasn’t told me
about it and I am a little shocked right now ok?” She glared at Jana. “How
could you not tell me? After everything we have been through? I think this is
something you tell your friend…”
“Well technically I am not dating him. I don’t even know if he is single, if
that damned television show has any truth to it…” she trailed off, her mouth
setting in a hard line remembering him kissing that blonde bitch. She hated
her, whoever she was.
Andy was busy looking on her phone. Apparently she had googled Michael
Fassbender girlfriend. She was not pleased with the results if her frown was
any indication.
“Do you wanna see it?” she asked Jana hesitantly.
Jana shook her head vehemently. “No, I fucking do not want to see it, whatever
it is.”
Andy closed her phone down before looking back up at Jana. “So now what? When
did you talk to him last?"
“The day after the party..”
“Sunday?? When we were drunk or when we were recovering? Why didn’t you tell
me?”
“It was after you left, crazy. Later that night. Apparently he had been texting
me a thousand times and I didn’t know, or I didn’t get the messages. I don’t
know, it’s weird..”
Andy slapped her hand over her mouth, her blue eyes huge in her tiny face.
“What?” Jana asked her. What now?
“Oh my God you kissed that guy at the party! You almost went home with him.”
Andy whispered conspiratorially. “You almost cheated on Michael Fassbender with
some douchebag major. Oh my God! You did cheat on him if you count that kiss!”
Jana scowled. “Did you not just pull up something online saying he had a
girlfriend? Besides, we are not dating so you cannot cheat on someone you are
not dating.” Jana crossed her arms across her chest. She was too old to be
playing these stupid games.
Andy took a sip of her water, “Whatever you say…”
“What does that mean? I didn’t cheat on him. Helloooo? If anybody cheated it
was him.  All over the damn television with that fucking blonde bitch.” Jana
picked at her nails. This was not the conversation she wanted to be having, not
the night before she was leaving.
“Hey what’s wrong with blondes?” Andy twirled a lock of her golden hair around
her finger. “We’re not all whores you know…”
“No they are not. They’re only whoreish when they are hanging off of Michael.”
“Agreed. She is a whoreish bitch and we should probably go kill her.  Wanna
leave now?” Andy asked her, her face dead serious.
Jana laughed out loud. “You are so stupid!” She really was the craziest person
she knew – outside of herself. Jana sobered up. “He said he is not dating
anyone and that it is not true. He said what I saw on the tv was not true. I
don’t know what to believe.” Jana could feel herself getting sad again. Andy
had seen enough.
“Give me your cellphone.” She held out her hand, palm up, and gestured for Jana
to give her phone to her.
“No, why?” Jana said.
“Just give it to me. I am going to call the bastard and see what the truth is.”
She continued to hold her hand out, bending her fingers back and forth.
“Are you crazy?! No way.” Jana shook her head. She was absolutely not giving
her cellphone to this maniac across from her.  Geez!  They were two women in
their 30’s, arguing about calling a guy to see if he was cheating or not.
“Don’t you trust me not to do anything stupid? I’ll call him really quick and
be straight up. I can tell when dudes are lying.  Give it to me.”
“So you’re an expert in detecting cheaters now?” Jana shook her head again. “No
way. He’ll really think I am crazy then.”
“Well let’s see. You answered a random text message from some dude. Texted and
called each other. Then spent a week with him in Galveston.  Freaked out on
losing a cheap bracelet. I would say you are both crazy.” Andy leaned across
the table, trying to grab the cellphone from her hand. “Just give me that damn
phone. Don’t you wanna know?”
She did want to know. Who was she kidding, Jana thought to herself.  She needed
to know.  Desperately.  She slid the cell phone across the table and buried her
face in her hands. She was going to die right now.
 
***** Chapter 32 *****
“Oh my God I am seriously going to die right now. I hate you,” she mumbled to
Andy from behind her covered face.
“No you don’t. You love me and you’ll thank me for it later.” Andy replied,
scrolling through the text messages, finding his number. She pushed the contact
number.
“Oh my God it’s ringing!” she whispered to Jana. Fuck of course it is, Jana
thought miserably. He would answer and would realize just how nuts she really
was.
“It won’t stop ringing.” Andy looked at Jana. “Does he not have a voicemail?”
Jana just shrugged her shoulders. Maybe he was declining her calls now?
“I am going to try from my cell. See if he answers that.” Andy punched the
numbers in her phone, and pushed the connect button. She nodded at Jana,
indicating that it was ringing again.
“Hello? Is this Michael?”
Oh. My. God.
Jana was going to die, right here. Right here on this bench she would pass
away.
“I’ll explain that in a minute. Yes I know who you are.” Andy's voice was even,
diplomatic.
“Wait, what? No don’t hang up. This is Jana’s friend.”
Oh fuck. It was really happening.
“Yes you heard me correct. What? Yes she is here.” Andy nodded her head,
chewing on her fingernail as she listened to him. “No, no, no. She can’t talk
right now. She’s in the bathroom?” Andy looked across at Jana, shrugging her
shoulders.
“The bathroom??” Jana mouthed to her. Really? Andy shrugged her shoulders
again.
“She is very good actually.”
“No I have a question for you. Are you cheating on her?”
Fuck.  Just like that? Jana closed her eyes in embarrassment.
“No it is my business. You don’t know her like I do. Are you cheating on her,
yes or no. Simple answer.”
“She is still in the bathroom.” Andy was tapping her fingers on the table now,
her eyes fixed on Jana.
“Yes she knows I called you. Answer the question.”
If looks could kill, Andy would be dead right now.
“Because you are parading all over the internet and tv with some blonde bitch.
Why wouldn’t she think that?”
“No, not til you answer. She is still in the bathroom anyways.” Andy bent her
finger and looked at her nail, well what was left of it. She could do this all
day.
She suddenly looked up at Jana, a smile crossing her face. “You’re not? She was
hired? Really?”
“You are not lying to me right? I’ll know and I’ll find out and beat your ass.”
“No I am serious. I’ll beat your ass.” Andy cocked her head for emphasis.
“Jana is the only woman you want to be with…” Andy smiled, repeating what he
was saying.
Jana was tearing up, relief or happiness – she couldn’t tell. Damn Andy and her
brilliant ideas.
Andy was smiling at her now. “Yes she is back now. You wanna talk to her?” Andy
looked pointedly at Jana. “Do you wanna talk to him?” she mouthed to Jana.
Oh God did she want to talk to him or not? Her heart was beating out of her
chest. He wasn’t cheating on her and he was on the phone.
“Yes give it to me, give me the phone!” she whispered to Andy.
“Ok here she is.” Andy was grinning like a damned idiot, incredibly proud of
herself. She sat back against the seat back, watching the miracle she’d just
created with a self-satisfied smile.
 
"Hello?" Jana spoke hesitantly into the phone.
"Hey, baby."
God his voice melted her. It had been so long. She would not cry, she would not
cry, she repeated that over and over to herself.
"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" Michael asked her. 
"She's crazy. Ignore her," Jana replied quickly, looking at Andy who was still
grinning at her like an idiot.
Jana looked at Andy, still grinning like an idiot.
"How are you?  Why haven't you been answering my phone calls?"
Jana's brow wrinkled in confusion as she answered. "I never got any phone
calls, Michael."
"Really? And what about the boxes and emails?"
"I only got two boxes, Michael."
She could hear Michael swearing across the line.
"Only two boxes? I gave that fucking asshole specific instructions...."
"What does that mean, Michael?" Jana asked him. She was so confused.
"I got busy with work and had my manager send the boxes.  He knew what I wanted
in each as I gave him specific instructions," Michael explained.
She could hear the aggravation in his voice. What the hell had happened to the
boxes, emails, and phone calls?
"I am not cheating on you. I have not been with anyone since I met you. I
promise. Do you believe me?" Michael asked her. 
Jana nibbled on her lower lip, staring across the table at Andy. "Well?" she
mouthed to Jana.  Jana just shook her head, unsure of what to say or believe.
Her mind was going crazy with possibilities and unanswered questions!
"Jana?"
"Yes, I am here. Michael I saw you on tv with her. I saw you...kissing her. I
saw it." Damn that was hard to choke out.
"When we meet in person I will explain all that. Basically she was hired. I
need to talk to you about that, but want to do it in person.  When can I see
you"
"Why can't you tell me now?"
"Just trust me please. I need to do it in person. I also need to figure out
some things with my manager apparently." Michael sounded exasperated. "When can
I see you? Have you already left Texas?"
"No, I leave tomorrow. I fly out early tomorrow morning, should be there around
noon," Jana answered, unsure of why she was even answering his questions.  She
was still so damn confused!
"Where are you staying? Hotel or what? I don't know how any of this works."
"I may be able to stay on post at the lodging but odds are I'll stay off post
for the first night."
"Let me get the room and you meet me there. Can we do that? I can catch a
flight out early tomorrow as well." His voice was soft, cajoling even, and Jana
found it hard to say no. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach.  Fuck. 
He wanted to see her tomorrow. Fuck!
Sensing her hesitation, he quickly assured her. "If you don't want to that's
fine, we don't have to. Whatever you want to do."
Jana looked across the table at Andy, who was dying from wanting to know what
was being said.
"Hold on Michael, ok? Just give me a minute?"
"Okay."
Jana placed her phone on mute and looked at Andy. "He wants me to meet him at a
hotel tomorrow in Alabama so he can explain things. What should I do?" Jana was
talking and breathing fast. This was not happening.  This could not be
happening!
"Fuck yeah you'll meet him! Are you crazy?" Andy practically yelled at her.
"Get back on the phone and tell him yes. Do it!"
Jana nodded and un-muted her phone.
"Okay, I'll do it," Jana said, feeling anything but sure.
"Did you get permission from your bodyguard?" Michael asked with a chuckle.  He
was laughing and so Jana laughed as well.
"Yes. She said it was fine," Jana replied, still giggling. 
"So she approves of me then?" Michael asked, the humor still present.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far just yet...."
Michael laughed again, loudly and Jana cracked another smile as she stared
across the table at Andy.
"Okay she's letting you come, that will do for now, love.  Look,  I hate to let
you go but I need to handle some things here so I can leave tomorrow. I will
text you with the room information when I get it, right?"
"Okay," Jana answered him. Her heart felt like it was going to pound right out
of her chest!
"Okay, sweetheart, I will see you tomorrow, right? I don't know if I will be
able to sleep now," Michael admitted softly, and Jana felt herself blush at his
words. 
"Me either," she confided, her cheeks getting even hotter with embarrassment.
"I have missed you," Michael stated simply, and Jana could feel her stomach
drop at his words.
"I missed you, too," she admitted softly.
"Okay then I'll call or text you tomorrow, right? I'll explain everything and
make it better, love."
Jana nibbled on her fingernail as she replied. "Okay I'll wait for you text
then, and I'll see you tomorrow." She didn't want to hang up and she didn't
think Michael wanted to either.
"Okay until tomorrow, then."
 Jana hung up the phone reluctantly. It was evident that neither wanted to hang
up but they had to. She looked across the table at Andy.
"Well??? What happened?"
"I am meeting him tomorrow. He's getting a hotel for us. I'll fly in to Dothan
and meet him at the hotel." Jana said matter-of-factly. Andy got up from her
seat, and hurried over to Jana's side, hugging her friend.
"I am so happy for you! You are officially dating Michael Fassbender! Oh my
God, I hate you and love you all at the same time!" Andy squealed.
"You are such an idiot. How will I ever introduce you to him? How do I explain
this?" Jana gestured up and down at Andy. Her friend was a nut in the truest
sense of the word.
"Oh I don't need to be introduced to him. If he has single friends, now that's
a different story..." Andy wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh my God you are crazy!"
"Yeah but you love me."
Jana turned and hugged her friend again, all joking aside. "You are right. I do
love you. More than I love my own family." Andy was tearing up and so was Jana.
"No don't cry! I am serious now. I don't know what I would do without you. I
don't want to leave you." Jana removed her arms from around Andy, and looked
down at her hands in her lap. This was the part she was going to hate the most
-leaving her friend. She looked back up at Andy, seeing the un-shed tears
there.
"Girl please. You are leaving me to go be with Michael. Don't worry about me!
From everything you have told me, and all I have seen, I think he may be what
you need," she looked Jana in the eyes, dead serious. "Don't waste it, Jana,
and don't be afraid. Not all men are assholes. Give him a chance, ok?"
Jana nodded her head, "I think you're right. I need to try. I am scared
shitless, but I need to try right?" She looked to Andy for encouragement.
"Fucking yes you need to try. That man is sex walking. I am sorry but he is
fucking hot!"
Jana laughed at her friend. Crazy to the end, but she loved her nonetheless.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 33 *****
Jana’s plane arrived in Dothan sometime after 3pm. There had been a delay in
her original flight, causing her to not be able to take off until after 11am.
Michael was a little aggravated to say the least. Impatient or aggravated -he
couldn’t tell. He had found them a hotel, the Residence Inn, and had booked
them the most expensive room as well as the rooms next to it and the rooms in
front. He did not want the interference from fans. Not today and not in the
foreseeable future. Michael had been in the room since around noon, having
caught a flight out of NY early that morning. The wait was killing him. He
wasn’t much of a TV watcher, and there were only so many times he could
rearrange his clothes and things. When the fuck was she going to get here??
Luckily they had the weekend before Jana had to sign in at her new unit. That
means they had all of tonight as well as Saturday and Sunday before she would
have to leave him. Michael was pacing by the window, looking out at the pool,
when his mobile vibrated in his hand.
Jana: Ok I just got here. Still waiting on the plane. They’re unloading the
luggage and then we can get off.
Michael: Ok I am on my way.
Jana: What do you mean?
Michael: I rented a car. I’ll be there shortly. I’ll wait in the parking garage
so we don’t have to deal with anything.
Jana: Ok, will text you once I have my luggage and things.
Michael: Ok love. Can’t wait to see you
Jana: Me either
===============================================================================
 
 
Jana stood by the luggage turnstile, waiting to see her suitcase come through.
She was so fucking nervous. Somewhere out there, in the parking garage, Michael
was waiting for her. Fuck. She could feel her heart beating in her chest.
Finally her bag came through, and she grabbed it off, pulling out the handle so
that she could roll it. All she had was a suitcase, her black backpack, and her
purse. Everything else was enroute to or already in storage somewhere nearby.
She’d find out on Monday. Until then, she had today, and the next two days to
spend with Michael. Fuck she was nervous. She was walking towards the doors
leading out the airport, when she saw the bathroom. She needed to see what she
looked like first.
Heading in, she stood her bag by the wall, and looked in the mirror. Fuck she
looked tired. Her dark blue tank, jeans, and flip flops did nothing to add to
her vitality. She looked like a bum. She should have worn something more
appropriate. Fuck!! Her hair didn’t look completely horrible, as she had
highlights put in a few weeks back. It was now more of a caramel color, dark
and light brown interlaced. She grabbed her brush from her purse, running it
through her hair before pulling it back in a low ponytail. Pulling out her
make-up bag, she grabbed some powder and brushed it over her face, trying to
look a little less tired. She coated her lashes with some mascara, and dabbed
on some lip gloss. Looking at herself in dismay, she felt her phone vibrate in
her pocket.
Michael: ??
Jana smiled nervously to herself as her heart started beating faster. He was so
impatient!
Jana: I am coming out, leaving the bathroom.
Jana grabbed her perfume, sprayed some on, and popped a piece of gum in her
mouth. She grabbed her worn hoodie from on top of her suitcase, slipping it on
and zipping it up. She shrugged at herself in the mirror. This was the best she
could do. Fuck it. Jana started walking towards the doors, stepping out into
the humid Alabama heat. As she was pulling her sunglasses down over her eyes,
she was approached by a security guard, holding a piece of paper that had her
name written on it. He was an older gentleman, probably mid 50s, his hair
graying around the edges.
‘Excuse me, are you Jana Sears?” the security guard asked her.
“Uhmm yes…” Jana replied. What the hell was this about?
“Ok good. My name is Mike. I am a security guard here. I was asked by your
boyfriend to come escort you to where he is waiting.”  Mike smiled at her.
Her boyfriend?? Oh God. It was really happening.
“Follow me this way, ma’am. I’ll take you to him.” Mike gestured in the
direction of the garage.
Jana nodded, following the security guard out into the parking garage. It was
dim in the garage. She pulled the sunglasses back off her face, and placed them
on her head. They turned left, walking towards the back of the parking lot.
They headed towards a small SUV, a Ford Escape or something. Jana could see him
leaning up against the back of the vehicle. He was looking down at his phone,
the bright screen showing clearly in the dim garage. Hearing their footsteps,
he looked up. Jana’s breath caught. There he was. Her Michael. He closed down
his phone, put it in his pocket and headed towards them. He was wearing some
kind of loose cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops. They were a few feet
from the vehicle when they stopped. Jana and Michael just stared at each other.
The security guard, sensing he was no longer needed, took his leave.
“Thank you, Mike.” Michael called to him.
“Yes sir.” Mike turned back, before continuing to walk away.
Michael looked back at Jana.
“Hey.” Jana whispered softly.
Michael broke out into his signature grin, all his teeth flashing. He quickly
moved towards Jana, pulling her into his arms and crushing her against his
chest.
“Hey baby,” he whispered back, his lips pressed against her hair. God he
smelled good. She breathed in his scent - a mixture of soap, cologne, and
Micheal. Jana wrapped her arms around his back, feeling his muscles move as he
stroked her hair.
“You will not believe how much I have missed you. Fuck you had me worried.”
Michael said to her, squeezing her hard once more, before pulling back and
looking at her. “You ready to go, love?”
Jana nodded. She was still in a bit of shock, if she were to be perfectly
honest. Michael grabbed her suitcase, tossing it in the back of the SUV before
holding open the door for Jana. He waited til she was seated, closed her door,
and came around to his side, hopping in. He started the vehicle up, and turned
and looked at Jana again.
“You look beautiful,” he smiled at her, causing her to blush.
“You can’t see anything in here, crazy..” Jana protested.
“Still look fucking hot to me, babe.” Michael leaned over, grabbing her chin
and pulling her in for a kiss. Jana felt his lips on hers, felt the heat rush
all over her body. Michael stopped, his lips hovering over hers, breathing each
others' breath. He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed. “God I
have missed you so much. Don’t ever do that shit again.” Jana rubbed her nose
against his, a small smile on her lips. He really had missed her.
“I missed you too,” she whispered against his lips. “Let’s get out of here,
ok?”
“Right.” Michael kissed her once more, pulling his sunglasses down before
buckling his seat belt and backing out the car. They exited the airport and
headed to the hotel.
Jana looked over at his hands on the steering wheel. Sure enough he was wearing
that damn bracelet. Fuck.
***** Chapter 34 *****
Jana and Michael arrived at the hotel a little while later. They would go in
separately – Michael said it would be easier that way. Jana was curious but
didn’t question him. She went up first, using the room key he had given her.
Stepping into the room, Jana was shocked. She had no idea there was such a room
in Dothan! It was huge! She dropped her backpack, walking around the living
room area. She opened one of the first doors she came to – a huge bedroom with
a huge bed. She saw a suitcase on the floor next to the bed, which must be
Michael’s. It had a huge bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi tub. She closed the
door and headed back out into the living room area, crossing over to the door
on the other side. Opening it she found yet another bedroom. Smaller than the
previous, but still huge. Fuck. This place was bigger than her apartment back
in Dallas. She was closing the door to that bedroom when the front door opened.
Michael came in, carrying her suitcase. He walked over to the kitchen counter,
removing his shades and set the suitcase down.
Jana quietly watched him, chewing nervously on her thumb nail. He was so damn
handsome. His hair was a little shorter this time, no curls in the back, and it
was darker. He was also clean shaven, not a hint of stubble. He turned, looking
for her, and found her - a smile lighting up his face.
“Come here baby.” He walked over to her, pulling her into his arms. For some
ridiculous reason Jana felt like crying. She had never felt such relief as she
did wrapped in his arms. She buried her face in his chest, and held him for all
she was worth. Michael smoothed her hair down, kissing the top of her head.
“Are you ok? Babe?”
“I’m fine,” she mumbled into his chest. She was not moving from this very spot.
She was not.
“Let’s go sit, right?” Michael led her to the couch, sitting down and pulling
her into his lap. Michael could tell that she had gained some weight, which he
was quite happy about. From what he had seen, she looked healthier than before.
Her hair looked different and she had filled out some. He sat holding her for
some time. He was sure she was crying, but he didn’t want to rush her. He was
content holding her in his arms. They would sit here until she calmed down.
She hadn’t spoken much on the ride over. Michael was wondering how much of the
previous conversation – the girlfriend – was still bothering her. He needed to
explain things, but it could wait til she felt settled. His mouth set in a hard
line as he thought about his fucking manager and all the meddling he had done.
That fucking bastard. He was fired now but Michael was still pissed, knowing
the damage would not be undone quickly. These were the parts of Hollywood that
he hated. The rules – spoken and unspoken – were all such bullshit.
Jana sat up, wiping at her face. “Let me run to the restroom real quick, ok?”
she asked Michael, not looking at him. She crawled off his lap and headed
towards the master bedroom. Michael just sat there, watching her walk away. He
leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his hands clasp together under
his chin.
Jana walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. She turned on the
air vent, trying to add some noise to the too-quiet room. She walked over to
the huge bathtub and sat down on the edge. She could feel the fucking tears in
her eyes and she was so damned pissed off. This was not how she anticipated
this going. Not at all. She was still raw from that damned television show,
from Michael not staying in touch – all of it. It was all too much, and now
that she had him here – in her arms – she was freaking out. What the fuck? Why
couldn’t she just be happy? She sat there, letting the tears fall for some
time. She didn’t know what the fuck she was crying for but she was. Thankfully
Michael did not come looking for her. She needed to get it all out, whatever it
was. When she had no tears left, she stood up and walked over to the sink.
Great, she thought herself. She already looked like shit but now it was worse.
It was obvious from her red-rimmed eyes that he would know she had been crying.
Fuck. She grabbed a washcloth, running it under the cold water and tried to
calm her face down. Her skin was splotchy now. Just the kind of impression she
wanted to make on him, she thought to herself, looking in the mirror angrily.
Oh well. Better to get it all out quickly. Jana smoothed down her hair and took
a few deep breaths before opening the bathroom door and stepping out. She
headed back into the living area.
Michael was setting on the couch, staring at the television. She walked over
and sat down next to him, close but not touching. Michael shut off the
television, put the remote on the coffee table and turned and looked at Jana.
He could see she had been crying. He so desperately wanted to pull her back
into his arms, but he knew they needed to talk.
“Michael I need to know the truth. About everything.” Jana said quietly, not
looking at him, but instead down at her lap where she was fiddling with her
hands, rubbing her fingers together.
“Ok where do you want me to start?”
“Who is the blonde lady?” she asked bluntly. No sense in beating around the
bush.
“She was hired. She is nobody of importance.”
“I saw you on television when I was overseas. I saw you whispering in her ear,
smiling at her. I saw you kiss her.” There was an almost imperceptible crack in
Jana’s voice on the last sentence.
“Jana – baby – she was hired. I was being an actor. Nothing more.”
“Why did you have to pretend you had a girlfriend? You have been single before,
right? It was no big deal then?” She turned and looked at him, her eyes
accusing him.
Michael ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. Here was the hard part.
“My manager? Remember? Apparently someone saw us on Galveston Island. A
tourist, paparazzi – I don’t fucking know. They were going to leak the photos.”
The next part was the worst. “A few of the pics showed your bloody lip and
black eye clearly.”
“What?” Jana gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.
“Yes. I don’t know if you know any of my history but a while back an ex-
girlfriend of mine accused me of domestic violence. Which I didn’t do.” He
added hastily. “And so my manager in his infinite fucking wisdom started doing
damage control.” Michael’s voice got harder as he spoke. “ He said we couldn’t
have those types of photos out right before the movie premiered. The studio
would have freaked out, it would have been a nightmare. I agreed for all
involved.”
“What does that mean – for all involved?” Jana asked quietly. She did not like
where this was going.
“They were looking into who you were, Jana. Trying to dig stuff up on you.”
Jana could feel herself getting pissed off. Pissed and fearful and nervous all
at the same time. What if they found out about that motherfucker trying to rape
her? Would that be splashed all over the news as well? “And?” she demanded of
him.
“So we bought the pictures. The usual Hollywood plan - buy the pics and
threaten to sue. Simple enough. In exchange I would give them the true story of
my most recent girlfriend.” Michael said flatly. “My manager found me a
girlfriend, and we played the part. Glammed it up for the cameras.”
“I told him about you, and what my intentions were. My main concern was you,
Jana, and what you would think seeing the headline with the woman.” Michael
looked at Jana, watching for her reaction. Did she believe him? Fuck if he
knew. “He assured me he would handle everything until you got back and we could
manage it. He said he would explain things to you and make you aware of the
situation. I trusted him.”
Jana didn’t know what to say to all of this. She was furious. She could feel
her face on her fire.
“What I didn’t know was the lengths my fucking manager would go to. He made
sure you and I weren’t together in any way. He intercepted emails and sent me
emails pretending to be you. Said you had changed your email. Told me to change
mine since I had been hacked again” Michael rubbed his mouth and chin before
continuing. “The emails I got from you said to leave you alone, that you had
found someone else. That you couldn’t handle seeing me this way, never spending
time together, all that bullshit.” He looked at Jana, remembering all those
times she had told him to fuck off through email. His mouth was set in a hard
line, the muscle in his jaw ticking. “When the boxes came back I figured it had
to be true. He blocked your number on my cell phone, which is why I never could
call you or you could call me. I don’t know how the fuck he did it, but he
did.”
Jana sat there, remembering the text messages from Michael, asking her what was
going on. “I got all your text messages all at once a few weeks ago..” she
trailed off. She was still not understanding.
“Yes. I figured out what the bastard was doing and he unblocked the numbers and
handed me back the old cell phone. During the times he said my phone was
hacked, I was given a new cell phone. He told me he would give you the number.”
He turned to Jana, the muscle still ticking, now in his forehead as well.
"But he didn’t did he?” Jana shook her head. “No he would intercept on my old
phone and email, and I would be sending from the new phone, but your number was
blocked. Who knows how many times I emailed you, only to have it sent to some
random email where that fucker was catching them.”
Was this even possible? Jana looked down at her hands again, trying to take it
all in. Did this asshole really do that? Go to these lengths to keep them
apart?
As if he could read her mind, Michael answered her. “Yes he did all of that.
All in the name of job security and saving my precious image. I know he was
pressured by the studio execs, but fuck. I think he was responsible before as
well. When I found out I fired him on the spot.”
Michael reached over, grabbing one of Jana’s hands, intertwining her fingers
with his. “Jana, love, look at me. Please look at me.” Jana looked at him. She
was going to fucking cry again. She just knew it. She bit at her lip to keep
the tears at bay. He was looking at her with is beautiful blue eyes, begging
her to believe him.
“Do you believe me? Please tell me that you do.” Michael pulled her hand up to
his lips, kissing it softly. “I didn’t know baby. I didn’t know how far he
would go. I am sorry.”
She saw the bracelet on his wrist as he kissed her knuckles. He had been
wearing it. She could feel the tears, but she also felt a small smile begin to
form.
“You have been wearing the bracelet?” she asked him softly, looking at his
wrist as he held her knuckles to his lips.
Michael looked down at the bracelet, smiling back up at her with a shy smile.
“I told you I would and I did.” He arched an eyebrow, looking at her empty
wrists. “Where is yours?”
Jana looked down at her empty wrist. “I got pissed when I saw you and the
blonde bitch and I tore it off.” She looked up at him. “I threw it in the
trash.”
Michael just nodded, accepting what she had to say. What could he say? He
didn’t blame her for acting the way she did and feeling what she felt.
“However,” Jana continued, “my crazy friend you spoke with? The one on the
phone? She dug it out of the trash without me knowing. It’s in my backpack.”
She hesitated now. “But it’s broken. I broke it when I ripped it off.” She
looked at Michael, her voice and face full of regret. “I am sorry I broke your
bracelet. I was pissed off. Completely pissed.” She shrugged her shoulders. It
was true. She had wanted to kill him and rip that bitch’s head off.
“My little Schatzi was jealous, was she?” Michael asked playfully.
Jana glared at him. “Of course I was. I wanted to kill you both.”
“And now?" Michael asked her, once again bringing her hand to his lips, his
eyes boring into hers. Jana was breathless. "What do you want to do now?”
“Make up for lost time?” she whispered to him. She watched as his lips kissed
each knuckle. When he opened her hand up and kissed her palm, she thought she
would die right then and there.
“Oh we’ll definitely do that,” he whispered against her palm. “First we need to
get something to eat. You’re going to need your strength.” Michael grinned
mischievously at her, his eyes dark and stormy.
 
***** Chapter 35 *****
Michael decided he would go get food alone, that way they didn’t have to risk
anyone seeing them. After everything Michael had told her, Jana agreed. What
the fuck? What did he mean by they were trying to dig stuff up on her? Other
than all the bullshit she had been through, there was nothing there. Just
thinking about it pissed her off. She needed to calm down. She walked into the
bathroom, eyeing the tub. Looking at it, she decided that was exactly what she
needed. She could take a bath while Michael was out getting food. She turned
the water on, dumping some of the hotel body wash in the tub. As it filled up,
she stripped her clothes off and got in, sitting down with her arms wrapped
around her knees. She rested her head on top of her knees, thinking about all
that had transpired today, and over the past year.
What the fuck was she doing here? Michael’s last statement to her led her to
believe that he was thinking about sex. She couldn’t lie to herself – she was
too. She was thinking about how much she sucked at it. She had never been very
good, at least not according to her boyfriends. She had wanted it occasionally,
but it never turned out the way she hoped it would. She couldn’t relax – why
couldn’t she relax they asked? Why did she just lay there?  Jana knew she had
issues from her past. Her therapist had said so much.
“Your past experiences can definitely shape the way you view relationships,
especially sexual ones,” she had said to Jana.
Of course she knew this. How to fix it? That was a different story. Would she
ever be able to fix it? She couldn’t answer that.  Michael wanting to have sex
with her was terrifying.  She would suck as usual, and that would be the end of
it.  Jana turned off the water as it was nearing the edge.  She leaned back,
resting her head on the back of the tub. Yes, Michael would see just how
screwed up she really was and he would run screaming to the hills.  It was only
a matter of time. She was jerked out of her thoughts as she heard a knock at
the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” she called out.
“I’m back. Got food.” Michael said to her through the door. “You okay in
there?”
“Oh yeah I am good. Getting out of the bath. Will be out shortly, ok?”
“Ok I’ll be waiting.”
Jana finished washing up,  letting the water out and getting out of the
bathtub. She dried herself off, got dressed in a tank top and sweatpants. She
pulled her toweled-dried hair up in its customary bun on top of her head, not
bothering to dry it.  She stared at herself in the mirror, picking apart every
flaw and imperfection. There were plenty of them, she thought to herself. She
was so short. Her boobs were too big for her small frame.  She hated them.
Always self-conscious of them. She would smoosh them down as much as she could,
wearing minimizers. Even now, she had on a sports bra under her tank, trying to
flatten them. Still, the tank top was too much, revealed too much. She didn’t
have another shirt in here so that couldn’t be helped – unless she wanted to
walk out into the living room and grab her suitcase. No, the tank top would
have to do. As soon as she got out there she would grab her hoodie and pull it
on.She pulled at her sweatpants, trying to get them to sit right. Not only were
her boobs too big but so was her ass. She couldn’t remember how many times
other soldiers had asked her if she was mixed, since she had a “ghetto booty.”
What the fuck? She could never lose enough weight to make either her boobs or
her ass go away. One of these days she was having a breast reduction. She would
kill to be one of those women who had small boobs, the ones who could go
without wearing a bra.
Her ass and her boobs had always been a problem for her. Her stepdad’s friends
would comment on them when she was a teenager, making her more self-conscious
than she already was. She grimaced, thinking about all the times they would
come stumbling in her room, high as a fucking kite after a night of weed and
booze. She learned really quickly to not sleep too heavily, and to always be on
guard. She remembered how she would sweat due to having the blankets wrapped so
tightly around her. They had no AC at her house growing up, so rather than have
the fan in the open window, she would put it next to the bed instead,
circulating hot air.
“Why don’t you leave the fan in the window? It’ll be cooler that way,” her
mother had told her countless times.
Yeah, it’ll be cooler that way, but those fuckers would try to mess with her
through the open window. They had already done it many times before she
learned. No, she would rather sweat to death than invite that, Jana thought to
herself bitterly. Yet another instance in which her mother had failed her. Jana
glared at herself in the mirror, wondering what could have been done
differently, how things might be different now. Maybe if she had fought harder,
told someone else besides her mother?
“Stop it,” she chided herself. Her therapist had told her countless times that
it wasn’t her fault. None of it was her fault and she was only a child. While
that sounded good in theory, it didn’t ease the feeling that she had brought
this on herself. She would have fought harder, not worn the things she did,
etc., if she didn’t want to attract attention. This was one of the reasons she
loved the military – the uniform. When you were in the uniform, everyone looked
the same and it covered your whole body. But, like everywhere else, she wasn’t
completely safe - even there. Men could -and would - still be assholes. She’d
learned that firsthand downrange.
“Babe? You coming?” Michael asked once more, disrupting her thoughts.
“Oh yeah, 2 minutes. Sorry.”
“Ok I’ll wait for you but hurry because I am fucking starving.”
“Ok.” With one last look at herself, Jana grabbed her deodorant, slapped some
on, and headed out into the living area where Michael was. She found him
sitting at the kitchen counter, the little television under the cabinets turned
on to some home and garden channel. He had food spread out everywhere. There
looked to be burgers and fries, some kind of barbeque, and little boxes of
Chinese takeout. Jana looked at him, her eyebrow cocked.
“Hungry?” she asked him.
He shrugged his shoulders, looking around at the food before them. “I didn’t
know what you liked so I stopped at a few places. This barbeque is fucking
fantastic!” He popped another piece of brisket in his mouth. “I thought Texas
was the barbeque place? I never thought Alabama would have shit like this.” He
picked up a piece of brisket, holding it out to Jana. “Here, come try this,
babe.”
Jana looked at him skeptically. She had barbeque here before, but as far as she
knew it was never as good as Texas barbeque. The last time she was here was
years ago, and she didn’t remember what it tasted like down here.
“Here, take it. It’s good!” He motioned for her to come closer. “Open up. Take
a bite.”
Jana walked over to him and grabbed at the piece of brisket he was holding
between his fingers. He snatched it away before she could get it.
"No, take it from my fingers,” he said softly. He held it back out to her,
waiting.
He was testing her. He knew it and so did she. Jana remembered what Andy had
said. “Trust him, give him a chance…” Jana stepped forward, opened her mouth
and took the piece of brisket from his fingers. She closed her eyes, savoring
the flavor. Fuck yeah that was good. It was tender and smoky, with just the
right amount of sauce.
She did not see Michael’s eyes darken, or how he shifted uncomfortably in his
seat.
She opened her eyes, a smile on her face. “Yeah I think I will have some
brisket too. That’s really good,” she told Michael with a small smile, reaching
for a paper plate to put some food on.
Michael swallowed hard as he sat watching her get her food. She was so
oblivious to the effect she was having on him. That fucking tank top and those
damn sweatpants were killing him. When she took that piece of meat from his
fingers he stopped breathing. She had no idea how fucking sexy she was and it
was killing him not to grab her and take her right here on the floor. Fuck. He
had never been this attracted to a woman before. The fact that she had not an
inkling of what she was doing to him just by wearing a tank top baffled him.
How could she not know how hot she was? Her fucking ass was perfect. Round and
high, making his hands itch to wrap around it. He didn’t even want to think
about her breasts. She was so tiny and short that her breasts were almost
disproportionate to her body. What it would feel like to have them pressed
against his chest as he…
Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! He needed to stop. Right now, he needed to stop. Michael
grabbed another piece of brisket, shoving it in his mouth, almost choking
himself. He needed to get a handle on his train of thought. He had flirted with
her earlier, throwing out that innuendo, but he knew she was skittish and
needed time. He would just have to be patient. Fuck me, he thought to himself,
grabbing a roll and shoving pieces of it in his mouth, before chasing it down
with some water.
***** Chapter 36 *****
After they finished eating and putting up the leftovers, Jana joined Michael in
the living room. He was lazily flipping through the channels, sipping on his
water. She sat on the loveseat, not sitting by Michael. He looked at her
curiously, patting the seat next to him. Jana hesitantly got up, walked over
and sat next to him. He lifted up his arm, placed it around her shoulders and
pulled her down to him, her head resting under his chin.
“Is this okay?” He asked her. He wanted her to be perfectly comfortable and did
not want to push her. He could tell that something was bothering her, but he
didn’t know how or if he should broach whatever it was. Jana nodded her head,
scooting down a little lower so that she was more comfortable. They sat there
for some time neither saying much, til Michael couldn’t take it any longer. He
couldn’t stand uncomfortable silences.
“Care to tell me what’s bothering you?”
Jana didn’t move a muscle. Here goes, she thought to herself. She knew where
this was headed and she was terrified. They had eaten. He had taken a shower.
She had taken a shower. Nothing left but to have sex. Then he would leave her.
Plain and simple. Jana sat up, moving his arm from across her shoulders and
looked down at her hands in her lap. “I am not good at sex.”
Michael had just taken a sip of water and choked on it. ‘What?!” he sputtered,
wiping water off his chin.
“I just think you should know beforehand. I am not good at sex. It’s not my
thing.” She said quietly, still not looking at him.
Michael was at a loss for words. Kind of a rarity for him, but damn if she
hadn’t done it. He had no idea how to respond to that statement. He leaned
forward, placing his water bottle on the coffee table, and turned towards her
“What do you mean?”
Jana shrugged. “Just what I said. I am not good at sex. I never have been. I
know you want to have sex – at least I assume you do – but I am not good.” She
said it so matter-of-factly that Michael was stunned. How could this gorgeous
creature not think she was meant to be made love to? What did that mean – she
was not good? Did he give her the impression that he only wanted sex from her?
He was so confused! What the fuck had happened to her?
“I don’t look like your Hollywood women either. I am older, not in good shape,
and I am just not good at sex. I don’t want you to be disappointed.” She was
once again on the verge of tears. Fuck all this bullshit. She moved to get up,
to run to the bathroom and hide out. Michael grabbed her arm as she stood up.
“Oh no you don’t, love.” He pulled her down into his lap once more. “You don’t
get to make a statement like that and then run away. Why are you always running
from me? Haven’t you learned anything about my persistence?” He kissed her
temple, trying to soothe her.
“Can we talk about the things that have happened to you?” he asked her softly.
He didn’t want to push her, but he needed to understand her. He would move
mountains to make her feel better – if she would only talk to him. He had more
money and power than he knew what to do with, but right now he felt as helpless
as a newborn baby. “Baby?” he asked again.
“I was raped and molested by my uncles when I was a kid. My mother didn't care.
I was almost raped in the military by some guy creeping around my tent. In
Galveston I was almost raped by my high school boyfriend. I never had sex until
I got married, and even then I sucked at it. I am not good, Michael. I think I
was ruined or something. I want to be what I think you want, but I don’t know
if I can. I don’t know..” Jana started crying into his chest, quiet tears that
soaked his t-shirt.
Michael wrapped his arms around her tighter, fury emanating from him. He tried
to remain calm, knowing Jana needed him right now more than he needed to beat
the shit out of someone. He wanted to kill all of those fuckers, especially the
guy who beat the shit out of her in Galveston. He would find out where he was
and pay that asshole a visit. Michael made a mental note of that. Aaron Miller
was his name, he remembered from the police report. If he had just gotten there
earlier. His fucking manager had fucked that up too, he was sure of it.
“Jana, baby, listen to me. I don’t want sex from you.” He stopped, knowing he
was lying. “No, I am lying. Yes. I want to make love to you – absolutely. That
is not all I want from you though. You have to believe me. I will do anything
to make this stop. I can’t stand to see you like this.” He whispered into her
hair, not knowing if she was listening to him or not. She was still crying and
he didn’t know what to fucking do.
So he just held her. Held her for what seemed like hours, as she cried and
cried. He held her and stroked her back until the both fell asleep on the
couch, Michael still sitting up, holding Jana in his arms. He awoke a few hours
later, feeling the crick in his neck. Jana was still sitting on his lap, her
head had fallen down in sleep. She must be exhausted, he thought to himself. He
lifted her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He pulled back the
sheets, and tucked her in. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he smoothed her
hair off her face, leaned down and kissed her. She snuggled into the pillow, a
weary sigh escaping her lips.
He would sleep in the guest room tonight. He did not want to hurt her any
further with his fucking uncontrollable body. She turned him on and he didn't
trust his body around her. Even now. He gave her one last look, and one last
kiss, before heading across the living room into the guest room.
***** Chapter 37 *****
Later that night, Jana woke up in the master bedroom. She sat up quickly,
looking for Michael. The other side of the bed was completely untouched. She
looked at the clock, seeing it was after midnight. Either he was in the living
room or he left. The latter was probably more accurate. Who could handle her
kind of crazy? Really. He could walk down to the bar and pick up any woman he
wanted. He certainly didn’t have to deal with her shit. She got up and walked
out into the living room. Looking around, she saw that Michael was not on the
couch either. Yes, he had probably left her. She laughed to herself. What a
joke she was. A fucking joke. She grabbed her cell phone off the counter and
walked back into the master bedroom, lying back down on the bed. She needed to
text Andy.
Jana: Are you awake?
 
She sat there in the dark, staring at the wall, hoping that she would text
back.
 
Andy: For you babe of course. What’s up?
Jana: I am so fucked up
Andy: Shut up. Why do you talk about yourself like that?
Jana: I think Michael wanted to have sex with me and I ruined it. I told him
everything.
Andy: And? How did he react?
Jana: He said he wanted to make love to me.
Andy: Make love? Not sex?
Jana: Yes. Make love.
Andy: What else?
Jana: He said he hated seeing me this way and would do anything to make it
stop.
Andy: And then what?
Jana: I sat on his lap and cried til I fell asleep. I think he carried me to
the bedroom. I just woke up.
Andy: Is he there with you?
Jana: No. I don’t know where he is. I think he left me. He’s not in the living
room either.
Andy: Go see if his shoes are gone.
Jana: K
Andy: Go see and text me back. Hurry up!
 
Jana got up and walked into the living room again, looking for Michael’s shoes.
Holy shit. They were there, right by the door. He hadn’t left her. If he did he
was shoeless. She looked on the counter. His shades and wallet were still
there, as well. He must be in the guest room. She quickly walked back to the
master bedroom, crawling back on the bed.
Jana: He must be in the guest room. His stuff is still here.
 
Andy: Jana listen to me. Get your ass over there and get in bed with that man.
 
Jana’s mouth dropped open. What??
 
Jana: What? No way. You are crazy.
Andy: I am serious. I am about to call your ass and scream at you. After
everything you two have been through. He hasn’t tried to fuck you yet has he?
Jana: No
Andy: Do you want to fuck him?
Jana: I think so
Andy: You think so? Really? I call bullshit.
Jana: Ok yes. Are you happy?
Andy: But?
Jana: You know why. I am scared shitless.
Andy: You have got to let that shit go. They were all fucktards. This guy is
the real deal. I am telling you. Get your ass up and go get in bed with that
man.
Jana: I don’t know if I can. I am serious.
Andy: If you don’t get up, I am going to call him and tell him to come get in
bed with you.
Jana: Yeah right
Andy: I have his number remember? I called him on my cell….
Jana: I hate you
Andy: No you love me. You’ll love me even more tomorrow
Jana: No I am serious. I can’t do this.
Andy: I am serious too. You have done so much work on yourself. You have to
step out of your comfort zone. It’s the only way you are going to change
anything.
 
Jana chewed nervously on her nail. Could she really do this? 
 
Jana: What do I do? Just go get in bed with him?
Andy: Duh
Jana: What if he's asleep?
Andy: Wake his ass up. Men love that shit
Jana: OMG I don't know if I can do this
Andy: I am going to call him
Jana: OK! Fuck!
Andy: Yes that is exactly what you are going to do to him...
Jana: You are so stupid
Andy: Do you have any condoms?
Jana: No. Why?
Andy: Why? Uhm because that man will get you pregnant the first time for sure
Jana: I took the shot, remember?
Andy: It's current?
Jana: OMFG! Yes mother.
Andy: My work here is done. Text me in the morning. Love you
Jana: Love you too
 
Jana sat there in silence, wondering what the fuck to do. Andy made it sound so
easy. Just walk over there and crawl in bed with him. Yeah right. She got up,
walked to the bathroom and flipped on the light. Yep, she still looked like
shit. Nothing could be done about that. She grabbed the toothbrush, brushing
her teeth really fast. At least her breath would smell good. Summoning every
bit of courage she had in her, she walked out of the master and over to the
guest bedroom, slowly opening the door and stepping inside.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 38 *****
Chapter Notes
     I almost killed myself writing this. I regret nothing.
Jana crept into the room slowly, inching her way to the bed. She could see
Michael laying there, flat on his back. He had one arm thrown over his eyes,
the other rested on his chest. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Surely she
would wake him with her loud-ass breathing. She felt like she was going to
hyperventilate. She moved closer to the bed, easing down on the side farthest
from him. She pulled her legs up, and lay on her back. She was cursing Andy out
in her head as she lay there. She could hear Michael breathing softly. Andy
said wake him up. Men like that shit, remember?
Fuck me, Jana thought to herself. How did she wake him up?? She lay there for
an eternity, listening to him breathe. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't.
He would think she was psychotic. She slowly got up off the bed, trying to be
as still as possible. She was almost at the door when he flicked on the bedside
lamp.
"Jana?" he asked groggily.
"Yes?" she answered in an incredibly high-pitched voice.
"Babe what are you doing?"
What was she doing? Well, Mr. Fassbender, I was just coming over here to jump
on you but I chickened out. Jana giggled a little insanely to herself.
"Jana?" Michael sat up, rubbing his hair as he got off the bed and walked over
to her.  She still hadn't turned around. She felt his hand on her arm, turning
her around. He pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest. "What's wrong
baby?"
Jana giggled hysterically again. Nothing was wrong. She was just an idiot -
that's all. Andy's text kept playing in her head, telling her to step out of
her comfort zone. Right now, in his arms she could feel herself wanting him.
She was scared shitless of course, but there was no doubt she wanted him. It
was now or never. Just fucking do it, she chanted to herself.
"I...uhh...I came over here..." Jana swallowed hard. Fuck!
"You came over here for...." Michael trailed off. He was rubbing her back as
they stood in the doorway of the guest room.
Do it, Jana. Just do it.
"I came to get in bed with you." She said as quickly as she could. She could
feel her face burning. Michael stilled, his hand no longer rubbing her back.
"You want to come sleep with me?"
"Yes. I mean no. Fuck!" Jana whispered in his chest. "I came over here to sleep
with you!"
She didn't know if she could make it any clearer without actually saying it!!
"Jana. Stop. You don't have to do this. There is no rush, sweetie." Michael
started rubbing her back again, sleepily resting his chin on her head.
Here goes nothing.
Jana reached up, grabbed his face and pulled it down to hers. She kissed him
with everything she had in her. For a moment Michael did not kiss her back and
she began to worry. She had really screwed up this time. A total misjudgement.
He pulled back, looking at her with wide eyes, fully awake now.
"Are you saying..." Michael trailed off. He did not want to say something  he'd
regret.
Jana looked up at him,  her eyes big and brown, luminous in the dim light.
"Yes, Michael."
"Jana...I -" He was interrupted by her.
"Please," she whispered up at him. "Please, Michael."
Fuck. He was going straight to hell.
He leaned down and kissed her, feeling Jana wind her arms around his neck and
her hands tangling in his hair. Straight to hell where the devil was waiting
for him, he thought again, as he pushed her up against the wall, his mouth hot
on hers. He reached down, his hands moving from her lower back to cup her ass,
lifting her up and pulling her to him. He slid his hands down her legs, gripped
behind her knees, and wrapped her legs around his waist. 
Jana clung to Michael with all the strength she had. She could feel his strong
hands holding her,  gripping her thighs as she held him tightly between her
legs, molding her body to his. She had felt his arousal as he pulled her up
around his waist. It scared her. She hadn’t done this in so long, and she was
never good at it. Michael could sense her pulling away, sense her becoming
distant.
“What is it love? Do I need to slow down?” Michael was breathing hard, looking
deeply into her eyes.
“Yes please. I haven’t done….this….in forever and I don’t want to mess it up.
Can we just go slower?” She bit at her lower lip, drawing Michael’s eyes down.
She could see the desire in his eyes, eyes that were a stormy blue now, full of
need and passion.
“Absolutely love. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want.” He dazzled her with
his signature shark smile.
She trusted him, Michael thought to himself. She was trusting him with her
body. He knew how hard this was for her. He would make it good for her. He
would do everything in his power to make it good. Michael grabbed her legs,
making sure they were secure around his waist before carrying her back to the
bed and laying her down gently. He grabbed one leg, pulling off one sock,
before grabbing the other and pulling it off as well. He ran his hands along
her slim calves, eliciting a small groan from Jana. He had barely touched her
and she felt like she was melting from the inside out. Fuck.
“You are so fucking sexy Jana. From the tips of your toes,” he kissed her on
top of her foot, “to the top of your head.” He crawled up her body, dropping
kisses here and there, before finally settling next to her, hovering half-way
over her. He looked down at her, and rubbed the tip of his nose against hers.
“We’ll do what you want, ok, love? As little or as much.” He nipped at her
lower lip with his, causing her to shiver.
“You like that?” Jana nodded, unable to speak. Michael moved lower, placing
soft kisses at the base of her neck. He kissed the area where he felt her pulse
wildly beating in her veins. He kissed her again on her neck, then blew on the
area lightly, causing another shiver. He moved back up, kissing along her jaw
line, moving towards her ear. She couldn’t think straight. Should she be doing
something right now? Jana’s brow furrowed. Michael noticed.
“Jana – baby – what is it? Talk to me.”
“I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just come outright. Should I be doing
something? I have never….wanted to …I guess….wanted to make love to someone,
and I don’t want to screw it up.” Jana lowered her eyes, staring at Michael’s
neck. Michael put a finger under her chin, tilting her head back up so that she
would look at him.
“How about you just do what you want to do? I can do all the work –which I
don’t mind believe me – or you can do what you want. You can trust me. I am not
going to hurt you.” Michael told her softly, his thumb rubbing at her chin. She
was so frightened, like a fawn, her big brown eyes showing just how unsure of
herself she was.
“Let me make love to you Jana. Let me do everything. I want to show you what
you do to me.” Michael’s blue eyes searched her brown ones, pleading with her
to believe him, to give him the chance to prove his feelings for her. Jana
nodded her consent, nervously nibbling at her lower lip.
“I told you before I wanted to be the only one to bite that lip…” Michael said,
moving in and sucking her lower lip in between his. He could feel Jana
squirming beneath him, wanting him but afraid to at the same time. He moved
lower, trailing his lips once more down the slender column of her neck, causing
her to breathe faster. He continued on, his lips at the top of her tank top,
kissing at the bare skin there. He could see how flushed her skin was, and yet
he continued on. He moved lower, kissing in between her sternum, slowly pulling
her tank top up as he kissed the bare skin on her stomach.
“You have entirely too much clothing on my dear. Let’s take this off, shall
we?” Jana just nodded once again. Michael lifted her up slightly, pulling the
tank as he went, up and over her head. Jana lay back, watching him like a hawk.
Michael stared at her body, seeing her full breasts covered by the thin sports
bra she was wearing. He could see her nipples straining at the fabric. As if
they called his name, he moved his mouth over her breast, circling her nipple
before finally taking it in his mouth. Jana tried to come up off the bed, her
back arching. She grabbed at his hair, wanting to pull him away and pull him
closer – all at the same time. She had never felt this before. She could feel
the deep ache in her lower abdomen, and even lower she felt herself getting
wetter by the minute. He was going to be the death of her, and he had barely
touched her. Michael continued tormenting her, first one breast and then the
other. Her bra was wet where his mouth met her nipple, and when he moved away
the cold air hardened her even further.
She pulled at Michael’s shirt. She needed to feel his skin, needed to feel it
against hers. Michael sat up, taking the offending shirt off and throwing it on
the floor. He laid back down, his chest against Jana’s, their flesh finally
meeting. He reached behind her, attempting to remove her bra. Just as she did,
he needed to feel her skin against his. He fumbled for a few moments, finally
getting the clasp to release, and lifted her up, pulling the bra off her
shoulders. It joined his shirt on the floor. He could see the insecurity in her
eyes as she lay before him, bare from the waist up. She was so damn beautiful,
and she had no idea. Michael slowly brought his chest down on top of hers, his
lips meeting hers in the process. He heard Jana sigh in contentment, flesh
against flesh meeting her need. She could feel the hardness of his chest
pressed against her breasts, his sparse chest hair rubbing at her skin. God she
loved the feel of him on top of her. She ran her hands along his back, and up
to his hair, and then along his back again. She could feel the muscles rippling
as he moved over her. He was smooth and hard, wild and sexy – all at the same
time. Michael moved her legs apart with his, finally settling all his weight
there. She could feel him, hard as a rock, pressed into her where she wanted
him most. Jana subconsciously moved against him, rubbing herself against him.
Michael hissed through his teeth, “You are going to fucking kill me and I still
have my pants on. Fuck Jana!”
Jana looked up at him, unsure of what to do, but her body had a mind of its own
and was still moving against him. She closed her eyes, biting at her lower lip
as she ground her hips against his, seeking release. Michael watched her from
above, one hand reaching down to pull at her nipple with his thumb and
forefinger, cupping her breast as she moved. Jana moved faster, grinding her
hips harder. She could feel herself coming undone, could feel the tension in
her lower body.
“Come on baby, just let go.” Michael whispered against her lips, still pulling
at her breast, urging her on. She was so close, her legs were shaking and her
back was arching. She was arching up, pushing her breast into his hand when she
felt it begin to wash over her. Her body exploded, her orgasm ripping through
her as she ground against Michael’s hard cock. She bit down hard on her lip to
keep from crying out. She couldn’t hear, it was like things were muted. She
slowly came to, still rubbing herself against Michael as her eyelids fluttered
open. She saw Michael staring at her, his eyes dark with desire, a small smile
on his face.
She immediately felt shame. Shame that she was so needy she could orgasm just
from rubbing herself against him. Jana tried to turn her head away, to look
anywhere but at him. Michael was having none of it.
“No, you don’t do that. Don’t turn away.” He kissed all over her face, her
nose, her eyelids, her lips again.
“Shit, Jana. I almost came in my pants just from you rubbing against me. Do you
realize how fucking sexy you are?” He kissed her again, softly on the lips this
time. “Don’t ever be ashamed with me. Never with me.” He nipped at her lower
lip again. Watching her come undone beneath him had almost been his undoing.
Her innocence was going to be the death of him, he just knew it.
“What about you?” Jana whispered quietly, unsure of how to ask the unspoken
need. She knew he was still hard, she could feel him.
“All in good time, baby, all in good time.” Michael whispered against her
swollen lips. She was fucking sexy as hell when she looked like this, hair a
mess, lips swollen. Was it possible that he got harder? Fuck if he knew, but it
sure as hell felt like it.
Michael rolled them over, putting Jana on top. Their lips were still moving
against each other, and he could feel her breasts resting on his chest. He
reached down, grabbing at her ass, pulling her tighter to him. Jana moaned into
his mouth, causing him to pull her even tighter to him. She had such a perfect
ass, nice and full, and it fit right in his hands. He slipped his hands below
the waistband of her sweats, feeling the smooth, bare skin there. He cupped her
ass, moving her so she was once again grinding against him.
“Micheal..” she whispered against his lips.
“Yes..”
“Michael, I want you inside me. Please. I need you inside me.”
Those were all the words he needed. If he didn’t hurry he was going to explode
all over the bed. He flipped them back over, sat up and began pulling Jana’s
sweatpants off, along with her panties. He kept his eyes on hers, watching her
for any sign of hesitance. He would make this good for her. Perfect if he
could. He pulled down his shorts, taking his boxers with them. Jana looked down
momentarily, watching as his cock sprung out. He was enormous. How the hell was
that going to fit down there? Jana began to look nervous once again, her fears
starting to overwhelm her. Michael saw the fear on her face, saw the inner
battle she was waging with herself.
“Don’t baby. Trust me. Don’t do that..” Michael shook his head at her, giving
her encouragement. She trusted him - he knew it and she knew it. He did not
need to fuck this up with his inability to control himself. He settled himself
back between her legs, resting his weight on his forearms as he kissed her
softly. He nuzzled her nose with his, trying to give her time. He wanted to
plunge himself inside her, bury himself to the hilt, but he knew he had to be
patient with her. He could feel her wetness on his lower belly and it was
driving him insane. He reached down, circled one of her nipples, pulling it
into hardness again. Jana moaned against his mouth, her hips moving against him
again. He reached down between them, grabbing his cock and guiding it to her
entrance. Her eyes flew open, staring into his.
“Love, trust me. I know what I am doing. Trust me, right?” He tried to assure
her again.
Jana nodded, once again biting at her lower lip. He pushed in slowly. Fuck she
was tight. Michael gritted his teeth as he felt the sweat bead on his brow. She
was killing him slowly. He tried to think about things outside of her body,
things that would cause him to slow down. He pushed in farther, looking down at
Jana, watching her face. Her eyes were clenched tightly shut, and she was still
biting on that lip. Michael felt Jana rake her nails down his back, felt her
grabbing at his ass, pulling him further into her. He pushed all the way in,
felt himself sink into her delicious wetness. Jana was once again grinding her
hips into him. Fuck but he was throbbing now. If she didn’t stop moving he was
going to come right now.
“Jana. Love..” he ground out. “Stop moving please.” She opened her eyes,
looking at him in confusion. He kissed her on the tip of her nose.
“No baby, it’s not bad. You just feel so good and I want to last for you. If
you keep moving, I am going to come.” Jana looked closely at him, wondering if
he was telling the truth. She involuntarily clenched her inner muscles, causing
him to hiss again.
“Fuck Jana!” He had his eyes tightly closed, his forehead against hers,
concentrating as hard as he could.
Jana smiled to herself, finally realizing what Michael had said all along. She
could see the effect she had on him. Fuck, she could feel what she was doing to
him. She slowly began moving her hips, her fingers running up and down his
back, grabbing at his ass. Michael opened his eyes, looked at her and realized
what she was doing.
“I am not going to last, just so you know.” Michael said to her, his body
moving against hers, moving as she pulled him in and out.
“That’s okay Michael. I want to feel you come inside me.” She shyly whispered
to him, still running her hands up and down his back. She moved one hand
around, touching his hardened nipple with her fingertip. He growled, pushing
harder at her, needing to get closer. Michael set up a fast pace, taking Jana
along with him. He would thrust in and pull out, and immediately she would pull
him back in. He could feel her wetness all over him. She was so hot and tight,
she was like a vice grip on his dick. It was almost painful how tight she was
around him. He moved slower and harder, prolonging the time between sliding out
and thrusting back in. He watched her face, saw her brows come together as she
was concentrating. She was close, he could feel it. Her legs were once again
trembling, and she was frantically grasping at him, pulling at his back, his
ass, his hair. He leaned down, taking her earlobe in his mouth, and sucking.
“Come with me, love. Let me feel you come around me…” he whispered in her ear.
That was all she needed. Jana felt herself come undone again, except this time
he had filled her up. Filled her so full. He was hitting her in all the right
spots. She could feel the world fall away, her orgasm tearing through her body
once more. “Michael! Oh my God Michael!” Hearing his name on her lips, he
buried his face into her neck, and slammed into her, feeling her clench around
him, leading to his release. He came hard, and he came fast, spilling his very
soul into her. He thrust a few more times, unable to stop moving, before he
came to a halt.
Not believing that he was still alive, Michael leaned up, propping his weight
on his forearms, and looked down at Jana. She was looking back at him in
wonder, a faint blush spreading all over her chest. She clenched her walls,
causing him to wince. It was too much right now, too much sensitivity. He was
still hard as a rock inside her.
“Don’t do that babe. Unless you want to kill me.” He rubbed his thumbs across
her jawline, leaning down to kiss her briefly. “I am too sensitive right now.
It’s too much.”
“Is that a bad thing or a good thing?” Jana asked him. She was so innocent.
Even at her age, she knew nothing about men and making love. He would gladly
take on that task, he thought to himself.
“No, sweetie,that is a very good thing.” He said, pressing his lips once more
to hers. He pulled back and looked at her, “Any regrets?” He asked her quietly.
He believed he knew the answer, but he wanted to be sure. 
Jana smiled at him and clenched her inner muscles again just thinking about it
all, causing Michael to close his eyes and hiss out another curse. He slowly
opened his eyes again, staring at her.
“You are doing that on purpose aren’t you, you little brat?”
“No, I was just thinking about everything. I can’t help it. I have never felt
like that Michael. I didn’t know it was possible…” Jana trailed off, wondering
if she sounded as inept as she felt.
Michael kissed her soundly once more before replying, “Oh, we have only just
begun sweetie. You have no idea what I have in store for your sweet little
ass.”
***** Chapter 39 *****
Jana woke later that morning, looking around in a daze before realizing where
she was. Coming to, she was a little dismayed to find Michael was no longer in
the bed with her. Feeling confident he had not left her though, Jana laid back
down for a moment and thought about all that had occurred last night and this
morning. She and Michael had made love countless times. She would fall asleep
and then awaken to him kissing and touching her and it would begin again. She
could feel the tightness in her body. She ran her fingers over her lips,
feeling them swollen and raw. As smooth as he had tried to keep his face for
her, she could feel the areas where his overnight stubble had chaffed her. Jana
smiled to herself, stretching her body and luxuriating in the feeling of
soreness. For the first time in what felt like forever she felt alive. She
didn’t feel used and she didn’t feel dirty. She felt alive. Michael did not
force things on her, or critique her, or chastise her – he had encouraged her,
praised her, made her feel like she was part of the process rather than a means
to an end. She was still wearing Michael’s black t-shirt and could smell him on
her skin even now. She pulled the collar up to her nose, inhaling deeply. She
smiled again to herself, gingerly getting up and walking to the bathroom.
After using the restroom, she walked over and looked at herself in the mirror.
Once again she smiled. Michael had told her he was going to fuck her brains out
and he had. Thoroughly. Her hair was a mess, her face was chaffed and her lips
were swollen. She was aching all over. She could only imagine how the rest of
her body must look. She would shower later – she needed to find Michael. She
quickly brushed out her hair as best as possible, pulling it back in to a low
ponytail. She then brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face, trying to
regain some semblance of decency. She took one last look at herself before
heading out into the living area to find Michael. She shrugged her shoulders at
herself - there was no fixing the way she looked this morning. He had done this
to her after all, she thought with that same stupid smile on her face.
She found him in the kitchen, sitting at the counter eating leftover Chinese
food. Good lord but that man could eat. As lean as he was, she had no idea
where he put it either! He was shirtless, wearing only his shorts, and was
facing away from her, watching the small television mounted under the kitchen
cabinet. He didn’t hear her come out and Jana took a few moments just to take
in the sight of him sitting there. Although he wasn’t completely white, he had
lost the tan that she last remembered him having from Galveston. He was lean,
his broad shoulders only furthering to accent his slim waist. She could see the
muscles in his arms flex and move as he ate. The man was just gorgeous. There
was no way around it. She shyly walked up to him and placed her arms around
him, snuggling into his back.
“Morning, love. About time you woke up..” she heard Michael say to her.
“You almost killed me. I am surprised I woke at all,” Jana said, still snuggled
into his back. For whatever reason, she was feeling shy now, her confidence
waning. She felt Michael pull her hands from where they were clutching his
chest, felt him swivel around on the stool and pull her into his arms. She
buried her head under his chin, trying to avoid looking in his eyes.
“If I remember correctly it was you killing me, love.” Michael tried to pull
her back from his chest, and she only snuggled in tighter. “Are you trying to
avoid me for some reason? You know I have kissed every inch of your body, love.
No hiding from me…” He pulled a little harder and she came out from under him,
looking at the ground. Michael tilted her chin up with his finger, forcing her
to look at him. “Why?”
It was a simple question and should have a simple answer.
Jana had no idea why she was so embarrassed now. She just shrugged her
shoulders, trying to look anywhere but at him. Michael turned her face back to
his, pulling her in for a kiss that rocked her to her very core. She felt him
once again ravage her lips, pulling, nipping, sucking, before he sought entry
with his tongue. Jana could feel herself melting once again. Had it not been
for his hands cupping her cheeks, she was sure she would have fallen. God this
man could kiss, and kiss well. He released her, and Jana stared back at him in
a daze.
“Is that what I have to do to get you to stop over-analyzing things?” he asked
her with a smirk. Damn cocky bastard. He knew what effect he had on her.
“Because I don’t mind, love. I really don’t.”
Jana nibbled on her lower lip, drawing his eyes back down to her mouth. She
could feel her face flushing with shame.
“I have never enjoyed sex before Michael. I don’t know how to react after. I am
embarrassed that I enjoyed it so much maybe? I am happy, but I am embarrassed
at the same time.” She looked up at him quickly, before looking down at the
ground again, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t even know if that makes sense,
but it’s how I feel.”
Michael pulled her chin up once more, forcing her to look at him. He had the
most beautiful intensely blue eyes and they were staring into her soul at the
moment. “Given the little bit you have told me, I can understand how you would
feel that way love.”
Jana could feel the tears begin to well up again. Fuck she hated crying in
front of him, and yet she was always doing it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She bit at her
lower lip again, trying to will herself not to cry. Why couldn’t she just be
happy with Michael? With herself? Why?? Normal people didn’t act the way she
did after a night like last night. They just didn’t.
“You have never experienced making love, baby. All that stuff before was shit.
Complete shit. I am telling you that you are the sexiest woman I know. If I
have to make love to you a thousand times to get you to believe that, then I
will.” Michael slid off the stool and leaned down, guiding her arms around his
neck. He then grabbed Jana behind the knees, pulling her up and wrapping her
legs around his waist. He never broke eye contact with her, his blue eyes
staring into her brown ones. “Back to bed we go, Schatzi. I’ll show you again
just how much I want you and just what you do to me.”
 
 
 
***** Chapter 40 *****
Jana was tucked into Michael, her back against his chest, his arms wrapped
around her. Neither had bothered getting dressed. What would be the point? They
had only come out of the bedroom on occasion to get food. Afterwards they would
head right back to the bed. This was something new for Jana, and not something
she ever thought she would experience – especially at her age and given her
past. Lying in bed all day with a man – and naked at that – was something she
had never been able to fully appreciate until now. She lightly rubbed her hand
along Micheal’s arm and sighed, a happy smile on her face.
“What are you thinking about?” Michael mumbled into her hair.
“You. Me. Everything.”
“Good or bad?” He snuggled in deeper, placing a kiss on the back of her head.
“Both.” She could feel his hard chest against her back, the light smattering of
chest hair rubbing against her.
“Hmmm…” Michael withdrew his arm from under her, and pulled her shoulder so
that she would turn over. “Look at me, sweetie.” Jana rolled over, facing him
but refusing to look in his eyes. She tried to snuggle in closer to his chest,
but Michael wouldn’t let her. “Tell me.” He laid his head back down on his
pillow, one arm under his head, and looked at her closely.
Jana, realizing he wasn’t going to let her off so easy, lay back down on her
own pillow. She focused her eyes on his chest, noticing how red the sparse hair
was there. She slowly reached out, and ran her fingers through it, relishing in
the fact that it didn’t bother her. Not now at least. So many things had
changed for her, so many big things – sex and making love - and so many little
things, like the color of Michael’s chest hair and beard not bothering her. Her
eyes traveled up, noticing his scruff had come in even more. She lightly ran
her finger across his jaw, marveling in the knowledge that she was not bothered
by it. Not on him. Michael placed his hand on hers, stilling her fingers.
“I am sorry. Does it bother you? I can go shave.”
Jana looked at him, her eyes meeting his. “No, it doesn’t. Not anymore.”
Michael pulled her to him with her hand, kissing her softly on the lips. Lying
back down on his pillow, he smiled softly at her before asking, “That’s good
right?” Jana smiled back and nodded in agreement. “Then what’s wrong?” Her brow
furrowed again, reality setting back in. She nibbled at her lower lip,
wondering how to ask the questions that were driving her insane. “Just tell me.
Whatever it is, tell me.” He pressed the crease between her eyes, smoothing out
her brow with the tip of his finger.
“What’s next? I mean, this is all great – I mean really great – but tomorrow is
reality. I go to work, you go to work or wherever, and then what? How can this
ever work out?” She rushed out, not looking in his eyes. “I mean that is if you
want it to work out, because if you don’t then I totally understand. I mean I
am crazy - as you can tell – so I don’t know who in their right mind would want
to work it out with someone like me and of course-”
Michael interrupted her, kissing her on the mouth again to shut her up. He
kissed her until she was thoroughly dazed, her head swimming, coherency lost.
“Good grief, woman! You are something else, aren’t you?” Michael pulled back,
smiling at her. “After everything we have gone through, do you not realize how
much I care about you? The lengths I would go to just to see you, to make sure
you are safe and happy?”
Jana laid there on her pillow, still not meeting his eyes, listening to him.
Hoping. Michael tilted her face up once more with his finger, forcing her to
look at him.
“Look I am not setting a wedding date,” Michael grinned, winking at her, “but I
would be lying if I said I didn’t care for you. This is all new for me as well.
I’ve always said I never had time for a relationship due to work, but with you
I have made time. I now know that it wasn’t a lack of time - it was because I
didn’t care enough. There’s something here, between us.” He stroked her jaw,
willing her to trust him, to believe him. “I don’t want to throw it away. Do
you?”
Jana shook her head, unable to speak. She was once again fighting the tears,
trying to keep them at bay.
Michael continued. “I know it will be hard. Your schedule, mine, it’ll be tough
but we’ll figure it out, ok?” He continued stroking her jaw, moving his hand
and running his thumb over her lower lip. That lower lip that drove him
absolutely fucking mad. He had to make himself focus. Focus, Michael!
Dragging his eyes away from that lip, he looked back up at her, staring into
her teary brown eyes. “Please stop doubting me. I have been an ass and done
lots of stupid things in my life, but with you I want to do the right thing.
We’ll figure all this out together, right?” He leaned forward again, unable to
resist that lip, and kissed Jana once again. He tried to pour all of his
emotions, all of his need for her, all of his want – all of it into that kiss.
She needed to believe him. Jana kissed him back, running her hands through his
hair, desperately holding him close to her. She never wanted to let him go.
===============================================================================
 
Some time later, Michael was holding Jana in his arms once again, his mind
running away with doubt and worry. She was snuggled into his chest, her arm and
leg thrown over him. He could feel her even breathing against his sternum. He
couldn’t sleep. He was worried. He didn’t know if she would be able to handle
the stress that came with being with someone such as himself. All the celebrity
bullshit, the cameras, the tabloids. He still didn’t know if the picture shit
was over. Fuck. It was all such fucking shit. He could kill his fucking
manager. He wished he could whisk her away to some private island with just the
two of them, with nothing for her to worry about. All the shit she had been
through, and he still didn’t know the half of it.
Despite all this, there were two things of which he was certain - first, he
would do anything to protect her and help her get over this shit. The second
was a harder pill to swallow, and quite frankly scared the piss out of him. He
was way over his head with this girl. He had never felt this way about anyone.
Ever.The lengths that he would go to just to be with her, the things he would
do to make her smile, the worry he felt when she was out of his sight. He had
never made love with a woman before to be honest. Fucked someone? Yes, plenty
of times.  Done what he had done with Jana - made love - absolutely not. That
realization caused his heart to skip a beat. It fucking scared him shitless the
emotion he felt for Jana, whatever it was. He would not - could not - give it a
name right now. He simply couldn't.
Michael sighed, leaned over and  kissed her on the forehead once more, before
untangling himself. He climbed out of the bed quietly so as not to disturb her.
He pulled on his shorts, and headed out into the living area and towards the
balcony. He needed a fucking cigarette and this time he was going to have one.
***** Chapter 41 *****
Monday morning came all too quickly for both Jana and Michael. It was 4am and
she was up getting ready for work, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not
to wake Michael. She needed to go in to PT formation, show her face, and then
she could come back home. Back home to Michael. She stared at herself in the
mirror. Back home to Michael? Really? How quickly she got wrapped up into this
thing with him, whatever it was. She was completely infatuated with him.
“Obsessed is more like it,” she mumbled to herself, trying to wrap her unruly
hair into a bun. Finishing up in the bathroom, she walked into the kitchen
area, grabbing for a glass of water and her pill. This was the only one she had
needed for some time now, the one for depression. It was working. Either it was
working or it was all Michael. She smiled to herself, knowing full well what
the source of her lightened mood was: he was sleeping in the next room.
She headed back to the bedroom, intent on giving him a quick kiss before she
headed out the door. Entering the room, she moved quietly over to the bed, and
leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He was laying on his stomach,
his arms wrapped around the pillow that cradled his head. Jana took a few
moments to look at him, taking in this beautiful man before her. He hadn’t
shaved yet, and he was looking very stubbly. And sexy. Definitely sexy. She
just wanted to crawl back in bed with him and never get up. With a resigned
sigh, she stood up, giving him one last look before heading out of the room and
leaving.
===============================================================================
 
Jana returned home right before 8am. She was hot and sweaty. They had taken
them on a 4 mile run this morning – lucky her - as a way to introduce the new
captain to the unit. Although it was shitty at the time, she felt pretty good
right now. She was getting healthy, getting back in shape, and things just
looked better. She swiped the room key and stepped into the hotel, her thoughts
immediately turning to Michael. He wasn’t in the living room or kitchen area.
Squashing the bubbles of panic that tried to rise up, she dropped her keys on
the counter and removed her shoes. He had to be in the bedroom. She walked in
the bedroom, looking at the bed. He was still asleep. Relief washed over her.
He was still there. He hadn’t left her.
She walked over to her suitcase, grabbing her bra and panties, as well as her
uniform before heading to the shower. She turned on the shower, letting it
steam up the bathroom, as she stripped off her clothes and stepped in. Fuck it
felt good to wash away all the sweat. She grabbed the shampoo, squirting some
in her hair and closed her eyes as she scrubbed. She was rinsing her hair under
the water as she felt Michael come into the shower behind her, his hands
wrapping around her and cupping her breasts. Her breath hitched as he pulled
her to him and she felt him pressing into her back.
"Want some company?” He asked her huskily.
“Maybe…” Jana teased. He tweaked her nipple, causing her to moan and grab at
his arms.
‘Maybe? Such a brat...” He bit at her ear lobe, his hands still moving over her
body. The water and the soap combined, making them slide over her skin. Michael
moved his hands lower, his teeth still scraping along her ear and neck. Jana
arched into him, wanting and needing more. He moved his hands lower, traveling
over her stomach, down to the apex between her legs. Fuck he was killing her.
He had barely touched her and she was ready to explode. His hand skimmed over
her, parting her as he felt the wetness there that had nothing to do with the
water. He slipped one finger inside her.
“That doesn’t feel like a maybe to me.” He murmured, one hand holding her hip,
holding her in place, as his long finger did its magic. In and out he stroked,
and she could feel it building deep in her groin. He would pull his finger out,
rub around her clit, and then slide it back in. Over and over again til she
couldn’t breathe. He moved his other hand back up to her breast, cupping her,
rolling her nipple between his fingers.
“Michael…please…” Jana panted. She was grasping at his forearm, one hand braced
against the shower wall. She pushed at his hand, but he was moving so slow.
That damn finger, in and out. She needed more. It was just out of reach. Her
hips moved of their own accord, seeking release from the torment.
“Michael..” she breathed again, begging for him to let her come.
As if knowing what she needed, he shoved another finger inside her and she
exploded, crying out his name over and over, clawing at his forearm. She held
his hand to her, still rubbing against it as she came down. He was simply too
much for her. She was panting as she leaned her head against the shower wall,
still clutching his hand. His fingers were still buried inside her.
“Can I have my hand back, love?” Micheal teased her, his lips tracing her
spine, up and down her back.
“No. I think I’ll keep it right here, thank you.”
“As much as I love to have my fingers in you, I’d much rather put something
else there.” He continued kissing down her back, his loose hand still rubbing
and kneading her breast. Damn but if he wasn’t doing it again. She could feel
his hard erection pressing into her back. She could feel herself ready, wanting
him there again, the dull ache coming back. How was that possible?
“Let it go, love. I’ll give you something even better,” he whispered at her
ear, causing her to shiver.
Jana released the death grip she had on his hand, and turned around. Michael
was on her in an instant, his mouth hot on hers, tongue and teeth meeting in a
desperate battle. She couldn’t get enough of him, and he of her. Michael
reached down, grabbing her behind the knees, pulling her up around his waist.
He pushed her up against the wall and buried himself in her. Jana cried out,
the feeling of him inside her filling her up. Her body began to move, grinding
her hips against him, looking for another release.
“Fuck!” he hissed out, gritting his teeth and burying his face in her neck. He
could not get close enough to her, it was never enough. She was so damn tight
and hot around him. She was driving him fucking mad.
“Michael…Harder please…please!” Jana moaned, clutching at his hair, trying to
grasp for anything to get her closer to him. She could feel the water cascading
down on them, only adding to her heightened senses. She turned her head,
nipping at Michael’s ear, raking her nails up and down his back. Michael was
getting erratic, losing himself in her, blindly pumping away. He felt her take
his ear lobe between her teeth and bite gently, and it sent him over the edge,
his orgasm ripping through his body, spilling into Jana and causing her to come
with him. He closed his eyes, feeling like he was going to pass out. He could
feel her clenching at him, pulling him in even deeper. Her nails were almost
painful on his back. She was going to give him a heart attack, he just knew it.
Even when the spasms had passed, Michael continued slowly moving in her,
wanting every last little bit of her he could get. Damn but she felt so good.
When his head finally cleared, he again became aware of the water running over
them, starting to get cooler now. He shifted his weight a bit –still holding
Jana up against the wall – and leaned back, looking at her. She was smiling at
him, her face flush with the afterglow of their lovemaking. He leaned forward
and planted a small kiss on her lips, nibbling at her lower lip.
“You are going to be the death of me. You know that right?” he murmured against
her lips. “I cannot get enough of you.”
Jana nuzzled his nose with hers as Michael pulled out of her, letting her slide
down his body. They stood there for a moment relishing the feel of their wet
bodies pressed together.
“We should probably finish washing up…” Jana whispered, feeling the water
losing its heat.
Michael nodded, reaching over her and grabbing the body wash. “So I am going to
smell really girly today, I guess?” he cocked an eyebrow, looking at the Bath
and Body Works shower gel.
“Well, you sent me 10000 bottles,” she teased him, “and I have to use it
somehow.”
“Is that so? Well in that case, turn around sweetie. Let me wash your back.”
Michael said with a wink. “I’ll do you and you do me.”
Jana’s own eyebrows rose this time, looking at him skeptically. “We’re never
going to get out of the shower at this rate…”
***** Chapter 42 *****
Chapter Summary
     Because all good things must come to an end...
The week flew by for Jana and Michael. She would go into work while he would
hang out at the hotel all day and wait for her. They had spent the majority of
their time making love – in the bed, in the shower, in the living room
–wherever. They could not get enough of each other. It was all Jana could do to
stay at work all day and not leave early just to be with him. She had learned
so much about Michael that week - his family, his likes, his dislikes - and he
her. She had never been so happy, and had a permanent smile on her face -
courtesy of one Michael Fassbender.
Sadly he was leaving on Thursday, flying back into Los Angeles to begin some
new project. Jana was dreading that day more than anything, the uncertainty of
their future weighing heavily on her mind. Michael had assured her time and
time again that they would make it work, that it would be no big deal, but Jana
couldn’t help but think back to all the times it had been a big deal. It seemed
the only time things worked for them was when they were together. No, she
definitely did not want to be separated from him any more than necessary.
She had just thrown her backpack in the backseat of the rental and had shut the
door when her phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket, smiling and thinking
it was Michael.
It was Andy.
 
Jana: Hey what’s up?
Andy: Have you seen the news?
Jana: No, why?
Andy: Uhmm…well.. there are some pictures and…
 
Jana felt the dread pool in her stomach as her heart started beating faster. Oh
my God. Please no, please no, please no. This wasn’t happening. Please no…
 
Jana: What pictures?”
Andy: Of us in Dallas, at the party. You and the major. They’re bad Jana.
Jana: How bad?
Andy: Really bad. They’re also blaming Michael for your lip and black eye, and
saying that you are cheating on him.
Jana: Oh God. Michael.
 
Jana felt like she was going to be physically ill, bringing her hand to her
face to cover her mouth. She felt weak at the knees. Oh God.
 
Andy: Have you talked to him?
Jana: No. I am just now leaving work. He’s at the hotel. Oh my God, Andy. What
do I do? I don’t even remember that night. Oh my God!
 
Jana was panicking. She couldn’t breathe. Her heart was pounding in her chest,
in her ears. What would Michael do? What had he seen? She looked at her phone
again, checking to see if he had texted or call. No, he hadn’t and she didn’t
know if this was a good or bad thing.
 
Jana: I can’t breathe, Andy. I can’t breathe. I …
Andy: Jana just stop. Explain it to him. He knows you. He’ll believe you.
Jana: What if he doesn’t? Oh my God, I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to do.
Andy: Stop!! Just stop alright? Go back to the hotel and talk to him. Explain
it. You guys will figure it out together. Ok?
 
Jana just nodded, her head spinning. What the fuck? She was too scared to look
up the photos on her phone. Maybe Michael didn’t know about any of it? It could
be possible, right?
 
Andy: Jana!! Are you listening?
Jana: Yes. Sorry. Ok I am going to go back to the hotel. I’ll text you ok?
Andy: Ok babe. Don’t worry. It’ll work out.
Jana just nodded, pushing the button to end the call. She needed to hurry up
and get back to Michael. Fuck she was so nervous, her hands shaking as she
placed the keys in the ignition and started up the car. Fuck.
===============================================================================
 
Jana walked in the hotel room, seeing Michael sitting on the couch, staring at
the coffee table. He didn't look up at her, just kept staring at the table in
front of him. She knew that he knew. She immediately felt the tension in the
room, as big as it was.
“Michael?” she whispered, unsure of what to say or do. She dropped her keys on
the counter before heading over to the couches and standing by them. She could
see photos on the coffee table, but she didn’t focus on them, refusing to see
them for what they were. Oh fuck.
“So you know huh?” He asked her, his voice dripping with acid. He still hadn’t
looked at her. “Let me guess? Your friend called? Or did you see the magazine
at the store? Or someone recognized you?” He finally looked up at her,  his
eyes blazing, fury evident on his face.
Oh God he was so mad. Jana immediately felt herself withering, feeling small in
his presence. Michael leaned over, grabbed a pile of magazines and photos in
his hand. He shook them at her before throwing them on the coffee table,
scattering them. He was emanating fury, his mouth set in a hard line. His eyes
were dark and stormy, but not with passion for her. No, he was looking at her
in disgust and contempt. She could feel it.
“What the fuck is this?” He glared at Jana, the muscle in his jaw ticking.
Jana leaned down, taking one of the pictures in her hand. It was her. In that
fucking black dress. She reached down, grabbing another. It was again her, this
time the major was kissing her neck. She looked like she was enjoying it
thoroughly. The next photo showed her grinding on the major, her hair in
disarray. The dress strap was falling off her shoulder, dangerously close to
revealing a bare breast. She was drunker than shit. Seeing it in color in the
photos was embarrassing. The fact that she couldn’t remember made it even
worse.
“Michael..I-” she stuttered out, unsure of what to say.
“You what, Jana? What the fuck? This is you, isn’t it?” he ground out.
Oh God he was so pissed off. Jana could feel herself cowering back from him,
his fury terrifying her. “Yes.”
“Yes what?!” He stood up and he screamed at her, his face close to hers. His
fist were balled at his side.
Did he want to hit her? Oh God she was panicking now, afraid that he would lose
it on her. “Yes it’s me. I am so sorry..” she whispered, tears threatening to
fall. He was terrifying her.
“Oh save me the shit Jana. The tears - save all that shit for someone else. All
this bullshit, all the being upset by my beard, all the “Oh Michael I hate sex
shit” was all bullshit. All the while you were out dancing on tabletops and
fucking this guy?” He sat down on the couch, running his hands through his hair
furiously before slamming his fist down on the coffee table.
“And you have the fucking nerve to get mad at me for supposedly dating someone,
when you were out doing this shit?” he gestured to the photos. “You’ve made a
fool out of me. You know that right? All this shit is all over the tabloids.
All over the fucking news.” He picked up a few magazines off the ground where
they had fallen and shoved them at her chest, forcing her to take them. He
started pacing, walking away from her. “Read it. Go on, look at it yourself.”
Jana looked at the first magazine in horror.
   Michael Fassbender’s Cheating Scandal!
 
And the second one...
    Fassy’s Heartbreak as Girlfriend Cheats in Texas!
 
There was a picture of Jana with the major’s face shoved in between her
breasts, her smiling over his shoulder. Underneath that the caption read:
     Fassy’s girlfriend and her sexy weekend tryst!
 
Jana’s lower lip trembled, the tears finally spilling over and running down her
cheeks. Michael shook his head at her,  his anger overriding any sympathy he
might have had for her at the moment.
"Oh don’t fucking cry just yet. I saved the best for last.” He walked back over
to her and shoved one more magazine her way. This headline made her want to
vomit.
      Fassbender’s history of domestic violence – girlfriend shows up with
busted lip and black eye!  Is he at it again?
 
There was a picture of Jana and Michael in Galveston, her injuries on full
display.
“Michael it’s a lie..I don’t know why they-“
“Oh, I fucking know it’s a lie. I didn’t do that shit to you. It’s just one
more thing to add to the fucking pile.” He glared at her, his eyes staring into
hers. “Why would you do that? Even though we weren’t “together together” we
were talking. Yet you have a moment’s doubt and you go whore around. Knowing
this was possible. There’s always someone with a camera!” He moved closer,
coming to stand right in front of her, and leaned down and sneered at her.
“The problem – love – is that now your whoring affects me as well.”
Jana slapped him, hard across the cheek, hard enough to turn his face from her.
“You fucking asshole. How dare you?” She hissed out.
Michael slowly turned his face back around to her, the muscle in his jaw
ticking even harder now. Jana was too pissed to be scared now.
“No, how dare you.” He gritted out. “ I fell for you. Hard. Unfortunately for
me I also fell for your line of bullshit, and this is what it really is – a
bunch of shit. I should have known, I should have fucking known. You are just
like the rest of them.” He walked over to the balcony, staring out at the pool
down below, hands on his slim hips. “Are you really on the shot? Or are you
going to tell me you’re pregnant in a few months?”
“What?” Jana whispered, bringing her hands to her mouth. She was horrified. Did
he really think she would try to trap him like that? That she was that
conniving? Michael turned around, facing her.
“Are you going to tell me you’re pregnant in a few months? Did you lie and try
to trap me with a financial obligation?” He said it quietly, coldly, devoid of
any emotion.
“No, Michael I will not call you and tell you I am pregnant. Are you happy
now?” She said flatly. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Just this
morning they were making love and talking about their future. Now they were
breaking up and she didn’t even know if they had ever really been together!
“Well that’s a relief at least.” He ground out. He was so fucking pissed right
now. He was barely controlling himself. He wanted to put his fist through the
wall. Or through someone, namely that fucking guy in the pictures. Just like
that she had taken everything from him and pissed on it.  He was thanking God
he had never told her how he really felt about her, the depth of his emotion
for her. She was going to be the first woman he had ever said those words to.
But now it was gone. In the blink of an eye everything was fucking gone.
“Should I leave?” Jana whispered, looking at the ground. She didn’t know what
to do. This had all happened so fast and she didn’t know how to fix it. Nothing
she said could make it right. She simply didn’t know what to do. She wished the
ground would open up and swallow her whole. She wanted to disappear.
“I don’t fucking care. You sleep in the master and I’ll sleep in the guestroom.
Or go find a room. I don’t give a fuck. I am leaving tomorrow regardless.”
Michael grabbed his cell phone before walking to the master bedroom. He came
back out with his suitcase and walked over to the guest room, slamming the door
behind him, causing Jana to jump. She wrapped her arms around herself, sinking
to the floor in the midst of the pictures.  How had this happened?  How had
this happened so quickly?  She stared at the pictures, seeing herself doing
things she did not remember. How could she be so stupid? Michael was done with
her.  He was completely disgusted with her, and she knew he would not forgive
her.  It was too much all at once – the pictures, the allegations, the
tabloids. He would not forgive her. She knew she wasn’t good enough for him.
She had known it from the beginning, and now it was glaringly obvious to
Michael as well.
Jana slowly stood up, suddenly very tired. She walked over to the master
bedroom, looking inside forlornly. She could not sleep in there, in the bed
where she and Michael had spent the past week making love.  Just this morning
she had woken up in his arms, never feeling more safe and secure.  Now it was
all gone.  No, she would sleep on the couch. The couch was always where she
went and it always worked in the past.  Jana looked down by the bed as she was
closing the door, seeing Michael’s t-shirt laying on the floor. She walked over
and picked it up, bringing it to her nose.  She breathed deeply, inhaling his
scent. Her Michael.
But he wasn’t anymore, was he? She reminded herself of that glaring fact. No,
he was completely done with her. Jana took the shirt to the couch with her and
lay down. She held the shirt close to her chest. She was empty, void of all
feelings. She couldn’t even cry anymore, she had nothing left. The knot in her
throat was choking her. She swallowed hard, trying to make it go down. Looking
at the coffee table, she saw Michael’s bracelet there. He had taken it off. She
was wrong thinking she had no tears left.  No she would not be done crying any
time soon. The tear slipped out, followed by many, many more. Jana would cry
til she drifted off in a fitful sleep.
===============================================================================
 Michael could hear her crying from his room. Why wasn't she in the bedroom??
he thought selfishly to himself. He wanted so badly to go to her but his pride
wouldn't let him. She had done this to them - not him.  She had done this to
him. His manager was right all along. She was not good for him and would only
bring him down. She obviously didn't care about him. Would she behave this way
every time something happened in his career with another female? He couldn't
risk his career and everything he'd worked so hard for just for it to be
smeared in the headlines. No, he couldn't do this with her. This was for the
best.
That knowledge didn't stop the deep ache he felt in his heart, knowing she was
out there crying because of the words he had so harshly thrown at her.  He
slammed his head back against the headboard, willing himself to let it go. Just
let it go.  There was no undoing it now anyway, not after all of this and the
words that had been said to each other.
Michael stepped out of the room sometime later, only when he could no longer
hear Jana's sobs. He needed his phone charger. As he walked to the coffee table
he noticed Jana asleep on the couch.  She was clutching his t-shirt. He could
see she had been crying. Even now as she slept, her breath would hitch, still
caught up in her crying. He could feel the knot in his own throat again, and
his eyes watered, causing him to blink rapidly. He had been so mean to her,
such an asshole. He longed to touch her, to reach out and comfort her.
She looked so small and vulnerable there on the couch. He saw her shiver in her
sleep. Michael quickly walked over to the master bedroom, ripping the blanket
off the bed and bringing it back to Jana.  He gently covered her, tucking her
in as best as he could without disturbing her.  He stared at her a moment
before giving in and started to sit down next to her.  His eyes fell to the
floor, seeing the photo of her wrapped around the guy in the bar. His mouth
hardened once again, his earlier sentiment forgotten.  He stood back up
stiffly.
No, he would leave tomorrow.  She was just like the rest of them.  Just like
them, and he was lucky to find out so soon.  Michael snatched up his phone
charger off the coffee table and went back to the guest room. He would leave
before she woke tomorrow and that would be the end of it.
***** Chapter 43 *****
Michael was sitting on the plane, staring pensively out the window, waiting to
take off. His mind was racing with a thousand thoughts. "What ifs" and "should
haves" were tormenting him. He couldn't stop thinking about the woman he left
behind.
He had slipped out early, around 330 am, and waited at the airport til his
flight left at 9. He just couldn’t be around Jana right now. He was still so
pissed off. He knew that it wasn’t her fault the pictures were released, but it
still stung. His mind wandered back to the images of the asshole she was
hanging on in Dallas. What the fuck? He knew it could be rationalized,
logically he knew that. It still fucking pissed him off. The thought of her
being touched by another man made him see red. He had been celibate – HE HAD
BEEN CELIBATE –since he met Jana, and yet she does this shit. He had never gone
without sex for that long, and thinking of her not showing him the same
courtesy pissed him off. He wanted to strangle someone. He had done his part,
but not her. She was just like the rest of the bitches he had been involved
with, he thought to himself, his mouth twisting in disgust.
But she wasn’t, he argued with himself. She wasn’t.
She was nothing like those shallow, self-absorbed women he had dated in the
past.
Michael sighed, rubbing his hands across his eyes and cheeks. As much as he
wanted to stay pissed at her - to blame her - he knew she was nothing like the
women he had been involved with previously. He knew it in his heart and soul
that she was nothing like those women.
Michael pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm the ache pounding in his
forehead. He shook his head, trying to regain his bearing, still thinking about
last night.
What pissed him off even more than her alleged indiscretions were the rumors of
him hurting her - the pictures in Galveston and the headline accusing him of
doing that to her. He felt physically ill thinking of those dark days in
Galveston, the first time he had met Jana. He had never felt more protective of
anyone than he did with Jana. He would not hurt a hair on her head. He knew
that. He hoped she knew that. He would never hurt her.
But you did hurt her, the little nagging voice whispered in his head, reminding
him of all that had happened last night.
Yes, he had hurt her and it was beyond repair. He had never imagined those
words coming out his mouth, the things he had called her and the things he had
accused her of.
You stupid fucking asshole, he chided himself, his mouth flattening in a hard
line. He had let his emotions get the best of him, outweighing all logic and
reasoning. He was sure Jana could have explained things to him, made him see
the light, but he just couldn’t take it all at the same time. He could have
just given her the chance to explain, but he didn't. It all came together too
fast and he was too hurt to see reason. It was the perfect shitstorm - all the
pictures and magazines and headlines. He couldn’t take it.
He thought himself lucky that he hadn’t told her he loved her.
That was the crux of the matter – he loved her. Yes. He was in love with her.
Crazy, funny, bratty, wounded Jana – he loved her. He could admit that now. He
knew it that first night she crawled on the couch with him, after all that shit
went down. Somewhere between the text messages and emails, the crazy flights to
and from wherever she was, and that night on the couch, he had fallen for her.
Fallen fast, and fallen hard. Not that it mattered anymore. She would never
forgive him. He saw in her eyes the way his words had wounded her. Though she
had never said she loved him, he felt that she did. Deep down he knew she did.
She trusted him with her body and he believed with her heart. Yeah, she loved
him, he thought to himself, a ghost of a smile forming on his face. It was full
of regret, though, as he had nothing to smile about.
With that knowledge came recognition - recognition of the kind of power he had
over her, and the amount of damage it would and could allow him to inflict on
her.  And like the bastard he was , he had done just that. He hit her where it
hurt the most.  He was hurt, and he wanted to inflict the same hurt on her. He
was ashamed to admit that, but it was exactly what he had done.
You stupid, fucking asshole, he thought to himself again. He stared at his
mobile, almost willing it to ring. He desperately wanted to call her, to beg
for forgiveness, but he knew she wouldn’t listen. He had hurt her too badly.
What's done is done. He'd royally fucked this one up.
Michael looked again out the window as the captain called for everyone to turn
off their mobile phones. No, he would leave it alone. He got what he deserved.
She was better off without him anyway. He just needed to get his fucking heart
to understand that he was better off too.
***** Chapter 44 *****
The alarm was going off on her phone, jarring Jana awake. She opened her eyes,
momentarily confused by where she was. She sat up and looked around the all too
quiet hotel room, knowing he was gone. She shivered, feeling cold and small in
the giant room. She was still on the couch. She pulled the blanket off – where
the fuck had that come from? – and stumbled over to the guest room and opened
the door. Yes, he was gone. No trace of him there. She slowly closed the door,
walked back over and grabbed her phone before heading to the master bedroom. It
was done and she needed to get ready for work.
Thinking twice, she headed back to the coffee table, and scooped up all of the
photos and magazines. She would deal with these later. She didn’t want the
cleaning lady to find them. She laughed out loud at that thought. Who the fuck
cares, Jana? Everyone knows by now. She was scared to turn on the television
for fear of what she would see. Again, it was done and nothing she could do
about it. She carried the pile of shit in her arms back with her to the master,
and dumped it on the bed. She grabbed her suitcase, opened it, and shoved all
the offending items inside. She would figure out to do with those later. Right
now she needed to get ready for work. She was going to be late.
Her phone buzzed. She looked down at it, hoping, but knowing it wouldn’t be
him. It was Andy. Jana ignored it, knowing she couldn’t talk right now. She was
numb. She had nothing to say to anyone. She dropped the phone down on the bed
and headed to the shower. Again, she was going to be late. Luckily there was no
PT today as it was an organizational day. She just needed to be there by 0900
for formation. After that she would disappear. She was going to check out of
this fucking hotel and get herself her own apartment. Today she would make that
happen. She had to get out of this hotel as soon as possible.
===============================================================================
 
After finishing in the shower, she pulled her hair into a tight bun and stared
at herself in the mirror. “You look like shit, Sears..” she whispered to
herself. Indeed she did. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, her face was still
blotchy. She just looked bad. Her eyes were dull and listless. She looked
haunted, like someone who had just had their heart ripped from their chest. She
grabbed her toothbrush, noticing the second brush next to hers in the holder.
That damn lump was back in her throat. He had left his toothbrush. She picked
it up, and stared at it, remembering all the time they had spent in this
fucking bathroom. She remembered him in here brushing his teeth, a towel
wrapped around his waist, dancing to whatever music was playing in his head.
She remembered making love in here so many times, the things he had said to her
and the way he had made her feel. The things she had done with him that she had
never done with anyone else. Ever. She smiled softly, and could feel the tears
welling up again, that lump threatening to choke her. Stop it! She had to stop
this right now. It was over. She had fucked it up and it was over. She grabbed
the toothbrush, walked over to the trash and threw it away. She needed to get
rid of everything that reminded her of him – including his toothbrush. She just
needed to get over him. It was done and he was gone.
Jana walked out of the bathroom, and picked up her cellphone. Of course she had
new voicemails. All from Andy.
Andy: Babe I have been calling all night and morning. No answer. Fucking pick
up the phone. I am worried. How did everything go? Are you guys ok? Are you
okay? Call me back right now!
Was she okay? Jana laughed out loud, albeit a bit maniacally. No she wasn’t
fucking okay, but she was going to be. She had known deep down that this day
would come before too long. She was never good enough and they would eventually
leave. It was a fool’s dream to think that there was a future with Michael. She
clicked on the next message.
Andy: I swear to God if you don’t answer I am flying down there. It’s a 4 day
for us and you know I’ll come. Never mind, you know what? I am taking leave and
I am coming. I am getting on a plane right now and coming. You better answer
the phone or I’ll go to your command and freak out. You know I’ll do it. Call
me back. 
Fuck. Did she want Andy to come now? No. She wanted to be alone. That’s what
she wanted. She knew she didn’t need to be alone, however. That would be the
worst thing for her right now. Isolation was not a good place for her.
Regardless of what she was feeling about Michael, she would not let it drag her
back down to that dark place like before. She was better now. Much of it thanks
to Michael and she was grateful for that at least.
Besides, she needed to cuss Andy out for telling her to go get in his bed. This
could have all been avoided if she had never slept with him. Yeah right, she
snorted. She knew that sleeping with him had just been the straw that broke the
camel’s back. She had fallen for that man way back in Galveston. She knew that
now, could tell when the change had occurred. She thought about how he had
taken care of her, helping her to the bathroom and helping her bathe. She
thought of the stupid little bracelets he had bought them and the time they
spent traversing that island on foot. Climbing onto that couch with him,
snuggling under the blankets without him knowing. That was when she knew. When
he wrapped his arms around her and she was able to sleep on his chest, she
knew. She felt safe with him, protected. She didn’t know how he felt about her
– he had alluded to feeling something, but she was sure it was gone now.
Whatever he felt was long gone.
Lucky for her she had never told him she loved him. He would have thrown that
in her face with everything else. No, better that she had kept that secret to
herself. It had all worked out the way it should in the end. It was for the
best, she told herself. She was no good for him and they both knew that.
Jana grabbed her keys and headed out the door. She would call Andy on the way,
letting her know to come on down and where to find her. She could help her find
an apartment. It would be great, she tried to convince herself. All she could
do now was move on. That was all she could do.
***** Chapter 45 *****
Andy arrived late Saturday night, and Jana picked her up from the airport. Jana
had moved hotels earlier in the day, as she couldn’t spend another night in the
one Michael had gotten them. Neither Jana nor Andy spoke on the ride to the
hotel. Andy seemed to understand – bless her heart – and didn’t push. However,
Jana knew it was only a matter of time before the questions came. The girl was
crazy, in the truest sense of the word, but she loved Jana, and Jana loved her
friend back. Andy was the only reliable person she could trust and count on,
and had seen Jana at her worst many times, both in the states and downrange. No
one else would have dropped everything and hopped on a plane to come see her.
Michael would and Michael had, a nagging voice played in her head. No, she
argued with herself, he wouldn’t. He would have before - and he had - but not
anymore. Not after what she had done and all the trouble she had caused for his
career.
Arriving at the hotel, Jana mentally shook the thoughts of Michael off. Hopping
out of the car, they grabbed Andy’s bags – all 4 of them – and headed inside.
Why she needed 4 bags for a week’s vacation was beyond Jana. Jana just shook
her head as they struggled to get all her junk inside in one trip. Andy just
smiled at her, shrugging her shoulders.
“There’s a guest room over there, or you can sleep with me. Whatever you wanna
do.” Jana stated, giving Andy the option. She already knew the answer.
“You know I am sleeping with you crazy. We always do!” Andy winked at her,
trying to suck Jana out of the funk that she seemed to be slipping back into.
“We can watch stupid movies and drown our sorrow in ice cream.” Jana looked at
Andy out of the corner of her eye.
“You don’t have any sorrow. Right now I am the only sorrowful one.”
“Pffft! I have some sorrow too, and I’ll never turn down ice cream. Besides,
I’ll help drown your sorrow.” She looked closely at her friend, saying softly,
“I am sure there is enough for both of us, huh?”
Jana just looked at her, the tears threatening to fall. She hadn’t cried since
Michael left her on the couch Wednesday night. She had held it together since
then, but now she felt like it was crushing her. She shrugged her shoulders,
unable to speak. She walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling her legs
underneath her and wrapping her arms around herself. She stared at the coffee
table in front of her as she felt Andy sit down next to her.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“What’s there to say? I fucked up. He left. End of story.”
“No, honey. You did nothing wrong. He overreacted. I could punch him in his
face for the way he handled all of this. I still might if I can get my hands on
him.”
Jana turned to Andy, looking her straight in the eyes. “He thinks I slept with
that major in Dallas, Andy. He said I was “whoring around.” What the fuck? I
didn’t sleep with him, did I?”
Andy’s mouth set in a hard line, and she glared at Jana. “That fucking asshole.
No you didn’t sleep with anyone. We came home that night and passed out.
Remember the next day? We were throwing up all day.” She started tapping her
foot. “He really said whoring around?”
“Yes. Then he asked me if I had tried to trap him with a baby.”
“What?! Oh my God! He really said that?” Andy stood up, pacing now, hands on
her hips. ‘Why would he say that?”
“He kept saying I was just like all the others, whatever the fuck that means. I
think the magazine that had my busted lip on the front page was the worst. He
was really pissed about that one.” Andy stopped and stared at her, her fingers
pulling at her lips now. This was her thinking look, and Jana could see the
wheels turning.
"Did he say anything else? Why was he so pissed? Did he say he loved you?”
Jana started laughing now, really laughing. What a joke.
“What? What did he say?” Andy demanded.
“He said he fell for me. He also said he fell for my bullshit, and he mocked me
getting upset with his beard color and the whole sex thing.” Jana looked at
Andy, the hurt back in her eyes. “Why would he throw that in my face? He saw me
freak out on numerous occasions. I was never faking it.”
“Ok but he said he fell for you? What does that mean?” Andy completely ignored
everything else in her typical fashion.
“I don’t know what it means!” Jana screamed at her, shocking even herself. “He
said that and then he called me a whore and walked out on me. You tell me what
the fuck it means!” The tears were coming now, she could no longer contain
them. She felt Andy sit back down and wrap her arms around her. Jana laid down,
putting her head in Andy’s lap and cried. Andy smoothed her hair from her face
and rubbed her shoulder and back, trying to console her friend.
“You love him don’t you?” she asked Jana softly.
“Yes. More than I thought possible,” she whispered back.
“Want me to call him and cuss him out?” Jana laughed a little. Her friend was
crazy. As usual.
“No. I think it’s best this way. I am no good for him. I probably ruined his
career.” Andy’s hand stilled in Jana’s hair, and she stopped rubbing her
shoulder.
“Is that what you think? You did not ruin his fucking career. The man will be
perfectly fine, believe me. Hell, it’ll probably make him more famous. Sit up
please.” Andy helped Jana sit up, turning her friend to face her. “Look at me.
Seriously.” Jana looked up at Andy, wiping away the tears that were still
there. “If anybody is no good for anyone it’s him. He doesn’t deserve you. What
kind of fucker runs at the first hint of something that’s not even true? Oh my
God what an asshole.”
“He’s really not like that Andy. He’s a good guy deep down. He was really hurt.
If I could have explained it to him, I think maybe he would have understood.”
Andy shook her head at her friend, a wry smile forming on her lips. “You must
really love the jackass to defend him against me.”
“I told you I did. Even after all of it, I know that I still love him.” She
looked Andy in the eyes, her brow creasing in confusion and self-doubt. “Does
that mean I am weak? Loving someone who hurt me like that? Is that normal?”
“Oh babe! That does not mean you are weak. It just means you love him. We can’t
help who we love. Even if they are incredibly handsome movie stars that turn
out to be insecure assholes that run at the first hint of trouble.” She smiled
at Jana.
“I feel like I should be mad at you for talking so badly about him…” Jana
smiled back at her friend.
“Come on chick. Let’s grab our ice cream and head to bed and watch stupid
movies all night! I brought PS I Love You. We can drown our sorrows with Ben
and Jerry ,and Gerard Butler!”
Her friend was so stupid, Jana thought as she followed her to the room. So
stupid and so wonderful – all at the same time.
***** Chapter 46 *****
Somebody’s phone was buzzing. Andy slowly sat up, looked around sleepily and
grabbed her phone. It wasn’t hers. She looked over at Jana, who was fast
asleep. Andy could see her phone glowing, moving around on the bedside table as
it vibrated. Whoever it was would leave a message. Once it stopped buzzing,
Andy lay back down, closing her eyes and started to drift off to sleep again.
Then the fucking phone started buzzing again. Fuck. Andy crawled over Jana and
grabbed her phone.
Fuck again. It was Michael. It was 230am and this fucker was calling.
Andy contemplated not answering for like 2 seconds before she hit the answer
button. No time like the present to give this fucker a piece of her mind. She
hopped off the bed, and walked towards the living room area before speaking
into the phone.
“Hello?”
“Jana? Is that you?” Michael slurred back at her. He sounded drunk. Stupid
fucker.
“No asshole, it’s not. It’s her friend, Andy. Remember me?” she asked him
icily.
“Oh yeah. Fuck me. Where’s Jana?”
“Don’t worry about her. Why are you calling now?”
“Look if you could just let me talk to her…” he was really slurring his words.
“Are you drunk? Drunk dialing is your thing, huh? Not enough balls to call
during the day when you are sober?” Andy bit back. This motherfucker here…
“Ok I deserve that,” Michael mumbled. “Look I know what you must think of me
but-”
“What must I think of you? That you are a coward? That you are so fucking
insecure that you would dump Jana at the first sign of trouble? Let’s not
forget who was parading all over the television with some blonde bitch. But
that was okay for you because it was work right?” Andy ground out. She was
losing her patience quickly. “You know what? You are a piece of shit. You have
no idea what she has been through, the things she has had to overcome. For
whatever reason she loved you and loves you still. You don’t deserve her. You
are a coward, and a piece of shit.”
Silence for a few minutes as Andy paced back and forth. Oh she was going to let
this fucker have it now, whether he could comprehend or not. Was he even on the
line still? Stupid fucking drunk, calling at 3 in the morning.
“Are you there?” she asked him.
“Yes.” He sounded more sober now. “She told you that?”
“Told me what? That you are a piece of shit coward -”
“No that she loves me.” Michael cut her off. “I know how much of a shit I am,
but did she tell you that she loves me?” He definitely sounded more sober now.
“Yes, asshole. She did. Not even 6 hours ago, as she cried her eyes out on the
couch. What a piece of fucking shit you are. You know that right?” Andy’s voice
was rising, almost screaming now. This fucker would not get it through his
thick skull.
“Ok, Andy right? Ok I get it. I am a piece of shit. I know I handled things
wrong. I overreacted and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know that I can.
What should I do?” He was asking her for advice now? He almost sounded
desperate. Andy laughed out loud. This guy was a piece of work.
“Andy? What’s going on?” Jana appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes
sleepily.
“Nothing babe, go back to sleep.” Andy said with a forced smile. She would not
subject her friend to this right now.
“Is that Jana? Let me talk to her please.” Michael said, his voice rising as
well.
“No, I don’t think so. Call back when you are sober.” With that Andy hung up
the phone. She completely powered it off before walking back over to Jana.
Her friend did not need to deal with this right now. It could wait til
tomorrow. If Michael was serious, he would call back. When he was sober he
would call back and fix things.
***** Chapter 47 *****
It was Sunday morning , after 9am, and Andy and Jana were still lying in bed.
Jana was awake, while Andy was softly snoring. Jana reached over and grabbed
her cell phone. Weirdly it was completely turned off, so she pushed the power
button and waited while the phone came back on.
6 missed calls.
6 missed calls and 2 text messages.
From Michael.
Jana looked over at Andy with a curious glance, wondering if she had anything
to do with her phone being turned off. She probably did, knowing her. She
vaguely remembered Andy being on the phone late last night, telling her to go
back to bed. Or was that early this morning? Jana couldn’t remember. She should
wake her up and demand an explanation but she was more curious about the text
messages and phone calls first. Besides, she wanted some time to read them
without Andy butting in. No voicemails, just missed calls. Jana clicked on the
first text message.
Michael: Baby it’s me. Will you please pick up? I will keep calling til you
pick up.
Hmmm….she did not remember the phone ringing last night. She looked again at
Andy, knowing full well what had probably happened. What an overprotective brat
her friend was. She opened the next text message.
Michael:Look I am a little drunk. Well a lot drunk. Please forgive me for
everything. I am a shit. Just like Andy said. A complete shit. Please pick up.
Forgive him? What?? Jana was shocked. Could he be serious? Had he forgiven her
for all the pictures and the guy in Dallas? She chewed on her fingernail,
wondering what to do. She needed to call him. Yes, she would call him. She
needed to know. She crawled out of the bed as quietly as possible and headed to
the living room. She slowly closed the door to the bedroom and headed to the
couch. She dialed his number. It was ringing. She sat down on the edge of the
couch, her nerves frayed, still chewing on her finger nail.
“Hello?” a female voice answered the phone. Jana’s heart stopped beating, that
damn lump back in her throat. “Hello?” the unknown woman asked again.
“Um…may I speak with Michael please?” She asked, unsure of what to say or do.
Who was this woman answering his phone?
“He’s not available at the moment. Can I take a message?” The voice asked
again.
“Who are you?” Jana asked bluntly. She needed to know if he was sleeping around
already. Wouldn’t surprise her, she thought to herself. Not after everything
she had put him through.
“Excuse me? Who is this?” The unknown lady asked her.
Jana had enough. She couldn’t do this. She was talking to someone he had slept
with the night before and she couldn’t do it. Someone that he'd had sex with
was answering his phone. It was too raw, it hurt too much. It had only been a
few days and already he had moved on.
“I’m nobody. Sorry to bother you..” she mumbled, hanging up the phone. Jana sat
there, numb to her core. Well, there you have it, Sears. There was the proof
that it was over. He had already moved on. Andy walked out then, seeing Jana
sitting on the couch.
“Hey babe. How come you didn’t wake me?”
Jana just shrugged her shoulders, unable to speak. Her eyes filled with tears
and she bit her lower lip to keep from sobbing. Andy walked over quickly,
enveloping her friend in her arms.
“Jana? Tell me. What’s going on?” she leaned back and looked at her friend,
concern on her face. Jana held up the cell phone and shrugged again, the tears
spilling over.
“I…called him…” she choked out, “I called him and a woman answered.” God she
couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe and the damn lump was choking her. “Why
would he do that to me? After the messages he left, why would he do that?”
“Let me see the phone.” Andy held out her hand for the phone and Jana gave it
to her without question. “He called last night, Jana. Late. Like 2 or 3 this
morning.”
Jana looked at her friend, some of the puzzle pieces coming together. “He
called last night? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jana demanded. “I could have
stopped him. What if I could have stopped him from sleeping with her? Why would
you do that?” Jana stood up, pissed off now. How could her friend do this to
her?
“Whoa, whoa! No way are you blaming this on me. He called last night, drunk as
fuck, and wanted to talk to you. I said no since I didn’t think you needed to
deal with that last night.”
Jana just stared at Andy, unable to comprehend what was going on. Why would her
friend do this to her? “Who are you to make decisions for me?” Jana screamed at
her friend.
“Someone who gives a fuck about you!” Andy screamed back, standing up now. “He
was fucking drunk, I said no. I told him to call back when he was sober. I
don’t fucking know why a woman answered but that is not my fault!”
Jana held out her hand. “Give me my phone back. Give it to me!” Andy held up
the phone and Jana snatched it from her fingers. “I can’t fucking believe you
did this.”
“I thought I was helping you.” Andy bit back, thoroughly pissed herself now.
How the fuck did this spiral out of control like this?
“Well you weren’t. I am going to the bedroom. Please leave me alone.” Jana
walked away, heading to the master bedroom.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Really? You are pissed at me?” Andy screamed at
her. Jana slammed the door, effectively ending the conversation.
Andy sat back down on the couch, in shock from what had just happened. They had
never fought like that. Andy wiped at her eyes, angry tears forming there. What
the fuck? She would be damned if she would lose her friendship over some
fucking asshole actor. She would be damned.
***** Chapter 48 *****
Andy walked over to the bedroom and tried to open the door. It was locked.
“Jana? Please let me in.”
Nothing.
“Jana. I need my cell phone. Please let me in.”
More silence. Really? Andy felt something hit her foot. She looked down, seeing
her cell phone next to her foot. Had she really slid her phone under the door?
“Are you serious right now? Did you really slide my phone under the door?”
Nothing. More silence. Andy reached down and grabbed her cell phone.
“Fine!” she mumbled to herself as she walked away from the door and headed to
the other bedroom. She was going to call this fucker right now and she was
going to talk to him. She pulled up his number and pressed the call button. It
started ringing.
“Hello?” A female answered the phone. Andy could feel disgust rising in her
throat. Jana wasn’t lying.
“I need to speak with Michael.”
“I am sorry, Mr. Fassbender is not available at the moment. Can I take a
message?”
“No you may not take a message. Please get Mr. Fassbender on the phone
immediately.” Andy ground out sarcastically.  This fucking asshole would answer
the phone today.
“May I ask who’s calling?” the woman asked, a distinctively clipped tone to her
voice.
“Sure. Tell him it’s Andy. He’ll know who it is.” Andy replied coolly.
“I’ll see what I can do.” The woman replied curtly. “Hold one moment, please.”
“Sure.”
Fucking bitch, Andy thought to herself. She stared at her cuticle while she
waited, thinking how badly she needed a manicure. Her nails really did look
bad. She snapped back to attention when she heard muffled sounds over the
phone. It sounded like the phone was being passed around, and she could hear
what sounded like sheets ruffling. What a fucking jackass, Andy thought
disgustedly.
“Hello?” Michael mumbled into the phone. He sounded hungover as hell. Good,
Andy thought. She hoped his head hurt like hell, and she was about to make it
worse.
“Hello fucker. How are you?” she purposely spoke loud, trying to aggravate him.
“Ah yes. Great,” he sighed into the phone. “Andy, if I remember correctly?
Could you talk a little softer please?”
“No! No, I can’t actually!” Andy practically yelled at him. She heard him hiss.
She laughed to herself.
“For fuck’s sake please talk softer. My head is busting wide open.”
“Good. You get what you deserve!” she practically shouted, albeit a smudge
gleefully. “Who is the bitch answering your phone? You just couldn’t wait could
you? Had to go get your rocks off so soon?”
“What? What are you talking about?” he whispered back. Andy could imagine him
holding his head in his hands.
“I said Who. Is. The. Bitch. Answering.Your. Phone?” she spoke, just short of
screaming, enunciating every word loudly.
“She is my assistant.” Michael stated flatly.
“Your assistant? Not some bitch you're sleeping with?”
“Yes, my assistant. No to sex or whatever the fuck you just said. Where is
Jana?” Michael asked her, sounding more awake now.
“She is holed up in her room. Again. She called you earlier and
your…assistant... answered. You can imagine the rest.”
“Oh fuck. Oh fuck no,” Michael whispered, sounding horrified. “I haven’t slept
with anyone since her. I swear. Should I call her? What should I do?”
Andy laughed out loud. Her friend and this idiot were something else. Both
wanting the same thing and not doing a damn thing about it. It was time for her
to work her magic yet again. She sighed dramatically.  Her work was never
done...
“You need to make it right with her. Do you love her?” she asked Michael
bluntly.
“With all my heart.” Michael stated firmly. There was no arguing with his tone
of voice. “I will do anything to fix what I have fucked up. Tell me what to do.
Please. I am begging you.”
“Let me figure something out and I will call you back. Are you available to
come to Alabama? Like today or tomorrow?”
“I will drop everything and clear my calendar. Want me to come now?” Michael
asked, sounding almost frantic.
“No. Not yet. Let me make sure she is ok. You really fucked her up you know.”
“I know. I will fix it. I swear. I know you’ll kick my ass otherwise.”
Andy laughed out loud for real this time. “I may still kick your ass just
because. You guys are ridiculous. Fucking seriously ridiculous.”
“So what should I do right now? Can I call her?”
“No. Wait for a while. Let me talk to her, but be ready for when I call ok?”
“Absolutely. I am going to pack my shit now. Hurry please.”
Andy cocked an eyebrow at his audacity. “Really? You’re going to rush me now
when you fucked it all up in the first place? Calm down, lover boy. I’ll call
you in a bit, today or tomorrow.”
“Ok…” Michael sounded reluctant to let her go. ‘Promise?”
“Yes! Fuck!” Andy yelled into the phone. “Go pack your shit and chill the fuck
out til I call you back.”
“Ok.” Michael sounded resigned to his fate now. “Andy?”
“Fuck! What?” God he was aggravating as all hell. And needy. Aggravating and
needy. Other than his good looks, she had no idea what Jana saw in him. He was
just as crazy as she was.
“Thank you. For everything, thank you.”
"Don’t thank me just yet. You’ve made a fucking mess of everything. You’re
gonna owe me big time.”
“Absolutely. Whatever you want, it’s yours” Michael stated plainly.
“Ok, I’ll call you later. Go chill out. Take some Tylenol and drink water. Or
something…”
“Ok, thank you again.”
Andy hung up the phone, looking towards the master bedroom. She had her work
cut out for her. She needed to figure out how to first get Jana to open the
fucking door, and secondly how to convince her to give jackass-boy as second
chance. She took a deep breath, and stood up, heading to the guest bathroom.
She needed to take a shower and get dressed. Hopefully Jana would have calmed
down by then and would be ready to talk. Hopefully.
***** Chapter 49 *****
Later that evening Jana stepped out of her room. She had to. She was starving.
She didn’t want to be around Andy at the moment, but she was starving. Andy was
sitting on the couch, watching television. Jana stiffly walked into the
kitchen, and opened the fridge. She could feel Andy’s eyes on her. She would be
damned if she would speak first.
“Really? Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the week?” Andy called from
the couch. Jana said nothing, continuing to dig through the fridge and finding
nothing. Andy stood up and walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at the
small table there. Jana was going to talk to her if she had to hold her down
and make her.
“Jana you have to talk to me. You can’t ignore me for the next 4 days.”
“You can leave if you’d like. I really don’t want you here.” Jana shot back.
“Oh wow. Real grown up Jana. Really. All this shit over a guy.” Andy said,
exasperation clear in her voice. “Can you just sit down and we talk about this
like two grown women? Please?”
Jana turned and looked at Andy, her eyes narrowed. Andy gestured towards the
chair opposite her. Jana shook her head and walked over, angrily pulled out the
chair and sat down. She crossed her arms across her chest, and looked at a spot
over Andy’s head.
“Ok whatever. Don’t look at me. You’re gonna listen to me at least.” Andy said.
“That jackass called late, like 2 or 3 in the morning. You had just cried your
eyes out earlier, and I didn’t think that you needed to deal with it at that
moment. Besides, he was drunker than shit.” Andy continued, speaking more
softly this time. “Babe, I was just trying to help you out. I thought I was
doing the right thing. Can you understand that?”
Jana wiped angrily at a tear that had slipped out and rolled down her cheek,
still not looking at Andy. She was her very best friend, but she was pissed at
her still.
“I just feel like if I had talked to him maybe he wouldn’t have slept with
her…” Jana whispered, her voice cracking. God it hurt so much to think about
him with someone else. She knew it was inevitable – he wasn’t coming back to
her – and he would find someone else. She just didn’t think it would happen so
soon. How could he forget everything that happened between them? Because he
doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, Sears! That little voice
reminded her exactly why. He didn’t love her.
“Jana. Babe. I don’t think that’s what happened. I think he just got drunk and
that’s all. I don’t think he had sex with anyone.” Jana looked at her friend
sharply, her eyes still full with unshed tears.
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know. Just from what I gathered on the phone. I don’t think he slept
with anyone.” Andy stood up and walked around the table, sitting in the chair
next to Jana. She reached out and grabbed her hand, covering it with her other
hand. “I feel like a fucking idiot for saying this, but I think you need to
give him another chance. I think this is all just one big clusterfuck.”
Jana looked at her friend, her brown eyes searching Andy’s blue ones for any
doubt there. Give him another chance? She would give him a million – but he
would never forgive her, she was sure of it.
“I would forgive him in a heartbeat, Andy. He’ll never forgive me. He said as
much before he left.” She shuddered, remembering those harsh words he had
thrown at her. He had said she was “whoring around.” No, he would never forgive
those pictures.
“I think he would. I don’t think it’s as bad as you think it is.” Andy
continued. She wanted to make sure Jana was ready to see him before she
continued putting her plan in place. She would not elaborate on the
conversation she had with Michael. No, that was up to him to rectify with Jana.
He had fucked up and he could undo it on his own. She just needed to get the
two rockheads together so they could sort their shit out.
“So what are you saying? Should I call him?” Jana asked, nervousness
overwhelming her. Andy shook her head.
"Oh no, no don’t call him. He said he was busy on some film. He would call you
in a week or so.” Andy lied, trying to keep this little charade going. “That is
if you were up to talking to him or even seeing him again?” She needed to make
absolutely sure this was going to go according to plan before she set it in
motion.
“Oh my God of course I would!” For the first time in a few days, Jana had a
smile on her face, a little bit of hope. Maybe all wasn’t completely lost?
There was a tiny glimmer of hope there and she was clinging to it for dear
life.
Lightening flashed across the sky, followed by a clap of thunder making both
women jump.
“It’s getting bad out there, huh?” Andy asked, looking towards the window.
“Supposed to rain all week. Should make apartment hunting really fun…” Jana
trailed off.
“I’m sorry!” They both said at once, looking at each other before bursting out
in laughter.
“You are such a bitch, you know that right?” Jana teased her friend, all traces
of anger gone.
“I know, but I do it out of the goodness of my little black heart.” Andy
smirked at her. She had her friend back. “I love you, babe. I only want the
best for you, you know that right?”
“I know you do. I am sorry I got so mad at you. This whole thing with Michael
makes me crazy.”
“No shit. You’re both fucking crazy in my book. Perfect for each other in
fact.”
Jana’s thoughts immediately went back to Michael, and the conversation Andy had
with him. “What else did he say? What did you guys talk about?”
“Everything I have told you, babe. That’s all.” Andy hedged, not wanting to
divulge all of the conversation with Jana. Michael needed to tell her those
things, and they needed to fix it together. She needed to implement her plan
now.
“I got some bad news though…” Andy trailed off, trying to sound sad.
“What? What now?” Jana’s brow creased. What the fuck now?
“I gotta leave. Family emergency.” Andy lied.
“Who? What can I do to help?”
“Oh nobody you know babe. I just need to get back home so I can go handle
this….issue..” she hated lying to her friend.  But it’s for a good cause, she
reminded herself.
“Well ok. If you gotta go I guess. I am going to be sad that we didn’t get the
week together. I was hoping you’d help me find an apartment.” Jana looked sadly
out the window as the rain came down.
“Well it’s gonna rain all week, so it would have sucked anyways. I’ll come back
when you get…settled. How does that sound?” Just agree damnit!!
“When are you leaving?”
“Well I need to go immediately, so I was gonna pack my stuff and head out.”
“Do you want me to take you to the airport?” Jana asked her friend, wanting to
help in any way she could.
“Oh no, no I’ll be fine. I’ll take a cab.”
“That’s stupid. I have the rental right out front.” Jana protested.
“No, it’s fine really. I already made arrangements.” Fuck she was not making
this easy!! “I promise I’ll come back when you are settled, ok? I just need to
get out of here and go handle this thing with my family. No biggie ok?”
“Well alright, if that’s what you want to do. I’ll help you pack then?”
Finally. She bought it. Now for the second part of her plan.
“Yep. Thank you. Let me run to the restroom really quick and then we can get
all my stuff together and I’ll be on my way.” Andy hopped up, grabbed her cell
phone and headed to the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
Jana stared after her friend, thinking that she was acting very strange. She
stood up and walked around, grabbing things that belonged to Andy. She would
chalk her behavior up to her family emergency, whatever it was.
***** Chapter 50 *****
Jana was sitting on the couch, watching television the next evening. It had
been a completely boring and shitty day. Andy had left last night and it was
still raining. It had been raining non-stop for the past few days. She had not
gone out to look at apartments today, but had vegged out on the couch in her
usual fashion. Domino’s pizza and P.S. I Love You – courtesy of Andy. Great way
to spend an evening. Another crack of thunder shook the hotel room, causing
Jana to jump. She hated being alone in storms. They scared the shit out of her.
She wrapped her blanket around her a little tighter and turned the television
up, trying to drown out the sound outside.
Another sound came, a knock at the door? Jana stared at the door, before
shaking her head. Probably hail in this damn storm. She turned her attention
back to the television.
There was the sound again, a little louder this time. Someone was knocking on
her fucking door. Maybe it was Andy? Maybe she had forgotten something? She
really wished she had never left. She hopped up, taking the blanket with her.
She leaned up to the peep hole, trying to see outside. Fuck. It was someone in
a hoodie. Looked like a man. What the fuck would someone want this late in the
evening? She wasn’t expecting anyone! She contemplated not opening the door
when the knock came again, harder this time. She cracked the door slightly, the
chain lock still in place.
“Yes?” She called through the tiny gap. The man looked up at her. She gasped as
she saw those familiar blue eyes stare back at her from underneath the hood of
the sweatshirt. Her heart stopped. Michael smiled shyly back at her, shrugging
his shoulders. Jana quickly closed the door, pulled the chain off and opened
the door wide. There he was. Michael was there, right in front of her. She
stared back at him in shock. This could not be happening. Was she dreaming?
“Hey baby..” Michael whispered nervously. He was so fucking unsure of himself
right now. Should he go to her, stay right where he was? Fuck! He shoved his
hands in his pockets to keep from grabbing her. He felt the rain hitting his
back, drenching his sweatshirt and jeans.
“Michael? What…what are you doing here?” Jana wrapped the blanket tighter
around her body.
“Well I got this phone call from Andy and-“
“From Andy?” Jana stared at him as if he had grown two heads.
“Yes, from Andy. Look can I come inside?” Jana snapped to, realizing he was
still standing in the rain.
“Oh yes, sorry! Come in, come in.” She scooted back away from him. She was in
shock – plain and simple. How the hell did he end up at her hotel? She knew of
course – Andy  and her meddling- but why was he here? She was so fucking
nervous. Michael stepped in, closing the door behind him. He slipped off his
hoodie, shaking it out, rain falling from it.
“Sorry. I got a little soaked out there…” he trailed off apologetically.
“Oh I am so sorry! Let me get you a towel!” Jana dropped the blanket on the
couch and rushed out of the room and into the bathroom, grabbing a towel for
him. She glanced in the mirror quickly. Fuck! As usual she looked like shit.
Fuck it, she thought as she walked back out into the living room. She handed
the towel to Michael and stepped back again, eying him closely. She watched as
he dried off. Damn him but he was still so gorgeous. His hair was a little
longer now, more red, and sticking up everywhere due to his vigorous toweling
off. He had a sexy scruff going on, his beard a little fuller. She ached to run
her fingers across his jaw and kiss those beautiful thin lips…
“Jana? Baby?” Michael jolted her out of her daze, causing her to drag her eyes
back up to his. She felt her face flush with embarrassment. He was like a damn
drug to her, like a flame and she was the moth. She couldn’t resist him. She
subconsciously wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she still had her damn
blanket.
Michael stared at her. She was wearing a fucking tank top and sweats. They were
his weakness where she was concerned. He yearned to bridge the gap between
them, to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. That fucking lower lip
that she was biting on at this moment was driving him mad. He took a step
forward, subconsciously, his body betraying him. Jana took a step back, halting
him in his tracks. Her eyes were guarded.
“What are you doing here?” She asked him, her voice now having a defensive edge
to it. She was wary of him, he could sense it. After the way he had treated
her, he didn’t blame her.
“Andy called me. I wanted to come talk to you. Talk about…you know…Look can we
go sit down?” He gestured to the couches. Jana nodded and walked over to the
loveseat. It was apparent that she wasn’t trying to sit next to him. Ok,
Fassbender, you have your work cut out for you. Don’t fuck this up, he mentally
coached himself on the way to the sofa.
“I tried to call you back. A woman answered your phone, Michael.” Jana blurted
out. Michael saw in her eyes the true story, full of hurt and pain at the
thought of him with someone else, as she stared hard at him before looking
away.
“She is an assistant, baby. Nothing more. I got pissed that night, completely
shitfaced, and had to be driven home. She was taking care of my schedules for
me. Nothing more I swear.”
Jana looked at him carefully. “Your assistant?”
Michael nodded. “My assistant. Nothing more.”
Jana smiled a little, relief flooding her body. He had not slept with her! Her
smiled faded as she remembered the night he left, and all the things he had
said to her. She needed to clear the air now, before the discussion went any
further. She frowned at him, her brow furrowed. “Michael I never slept with
anyone after meeting you. The guy in Dallas was a stupid drunken night that I
don’t remember. I know I never slept with him,” she said softly. “I was mad at
you still after seeing you with that woman on television. I wanted to forget
you. I never slept with him though.”
Micheal smiled softly at her. “I know, baby. Andy filled me in.”
“You believe me?” she whispered, hoping against hope.
“Yeah. I believe you.” He continued smiling at her. “Do you believe me?”
Jana nodded, unable to speak. She would not cry, she would not cry, she would
not cry. She kept repeating that in her head, unaware as Michael moved closer
to her, forcing his way onto the loveseat. She looked warily at him, unsure of
herself. Unsure of him. He took each of her hands in his, intertwining his
fingers with hers, as he brought one hand up to his mouth, grazing her knuckles
with his lips. Jana’s heart stopped beating as she stared into his eyes. She
would not cry, she would not cry. Just keep repeating that!
“Jana I am sorry. For everything I said and everything I did to you that night.
I don’t know if you will ever forgive me, but I am sorry. I was hurt and I was
angry, and I overreacted. Please tell me what I can do to make this better for
you?” He was sorry? After all she had put him through, he was sorry? A
hysterical giggle escaped her. She was completely flabbergasted at what was
happening right now. “Baby?” Michael asked, confused by her reaction. “Tell me
what’s going on right now.”
“Michael I caused so much damage to you and your career with those pictures,
how can you-”
Michael leaned forward in that moment, cupping her cheeks in his hands and
kissed her softly, ruining any coherent thought she might have had. Oh God how
she had missed this! She melted into him, feeling his lips move against hers.
He sucked on her lower lip in his usual fashion, before leaning back and
staring at her.
“As usual I have to kiss you senseless to get you to stop talking, don’t I?” He
smiled at her, his thumbs rubbing against her jaw.
“I think I still have some sense about me…” Jana whispered, staring at his
lips. Michael smiled now, his sharky smile, and leaned forward again, rubbing
his nose against hers.
“Well then, I guess I have to kiss you again, don’t I?” He teased, nipping
again at her lip that he loved so much. Jana closed her eyes, reveling in the
feeling of him. Of Michael. God she had missed this.
“I think so. Until it’s all gone…” She whispered against his head as he nuzzled
her neck. She had really, really missed this.
***** Chapter 51 *****
Chapter Summary
     This may be the end of Jana and Michael for a while. Will probably
     have one-shots down the road. Thanks to all my lovely readers,
     especially Sassy!!
     Until we meet again...
     P.S. I totally hijacked a line from The Counselor :-)
Jana and Michael were lying in bed, her back to his chest, listening to the
rain pelt the window of their room. They had made love twice that night, and
she was luxuriating in the feel of his hard chest against her bare back.
Lightning lit up the sky, followed by a crack of thunder, causing Jana to
snuggle back closer to Michael. He wrapped his arms around her a little
tighter.
“You okay love?” he whispered in her hair.
“I am now.” Jana sighed, a happy smile on her face. God she loved this man.
Loved him so much.   “I love you so much.”
She felt Michael still behind her, and her heart leapt in her throat as she
froze in embarrassment. She had not meant to say those words out loud. Fuck. It
was too soon!
“What did you say?” He whispered in the dark.
Oh fuck! Jana’s mind scrambled to find something to say, to retract from the
enormity of what she had let slip out. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!
“Michael, I…I mean… I didn’t mean that…” she stammered, unsure of what to say.
He would surely think she was crazy now! Oh God!
“Say it again. Please.” He whispered again.
Jana could feel her heart beating – no pounding – in her chest. Her cheeks were
hot with embarrassment even in the cool of the room.
“Say it. Please.”
“Uhmm..I said…I love you…” Jana rushed out, feeling like her lungs were being
squeezed by invisible hands. She was going to hyperventilate, she just knew it.
She felt Michael withdraw his arms from under her, pulling back. Well, here it
comes, she thought to herself. He was going to realize just how crazy she was…
Michael pulled her shoulder, turning her flat on her back. She closed her eyes
tightly, not wanting to see his expression. God she was so stupid!!
“Baby? Baby look at me.”
“Why?” Jana kept her eyes shut tightly.
“Jana, open your eyes. Open them.” She slowly opened her eyes, looking up at
Michael staring down at her, a grin on his face.
“I love you, too.” He nuzzled her nose once again, lightly skimming his lips
over hers. Jana clenched her eyes shut again, trying to keep the tear from
slipping out, but fuck if it didn’t. She felt it roll down her cheek, off to
the side of her head and to her ear. She could feel her lips start to tremble,
as did Michael.
“Why are you crying, baby?” Michael pulled back from her, staring at her face.
He would think that by telling her he loved her she would be happy. What the
fuck? Did he do it wrong? He was wracking his brain, trying to think of
solutions when Jana opened her eyes and stared back up at him.
“Say it again?” she asked him shyly, a hint of a smile on her face. Michael
felt the relief wash over him. Crisis averted – his Jana was back.
“I asked you first, love.” He teased her, leaning back down and kissing the tip
of her nose. He moved over and kissed her eyes, kissing the tears that had
slipped out and were slipping out still.
“I love you, Michael.”
“And I love you, Jana.” He leaned back once more, staring down at her. “When
did you know?” Jana bit at her lower lip, her nerves on edge still. He really
loved her?
“I think when I crawled on the couch with you that night. The night before I
freaked out about your beard..” she ran her finger along his jaw and felt the
stubble, frowning at the memory. She looked back up at him. “You were asleep
and I tried to be sneaky and managed to climb in. When I laid down, you wrapped
your arm around me. That’s when I knew. I knew then that I loved you.”
Michael laughed out loud, startling Jana. This could not be possible, he
thought to himself. He leaned down and kissed her hard once again, smacking his
lips against hers.
“What’s so funny?” Jana pulled back, looking at him in confusion.
“Love, I wasn’t asleep that night. I mean - I was at first - but I was awake
when you crawled in next to me. I swear I fucking held my breath, trying not to
scare you away. When you laid your head down on my chest, I knew. I fucking
knew, Jana. Right then and there.” He looked into her eyes, his blue eyes
luminous in the dark. “I knew that I would do anything to protect you, and that
I intend to love you until I die.”
“Are you serious? You weren’t asleep?” Jana pulled her hands to her mouth in
embarrassment. “Wow, I am always sneaking into your bed, aren’t I?”
Michael laughed again, smiling down at her. “I don’t mind you sneaking in my
bed. I rather enjoy it and I hope you keep doing it for many years to come,
sweetie.”
“So you really love me? Like really you’re in love with me?” Jana asked him
again, still needing reassurance. Could all this really be true? Could this
gorgeous man really love her?
“Absolutely.” He nuzzled her nose once more. Jana turned her head to the side,
still needing answers.
“But what about-” Michael took her bottom lip in between his teeth and lips,
sucking on it til she felt dizzy. She stared back at him in a daze, her
previous train of thought gone.
“That always works, doesn’t it love?” he murmured to her, planting soft kisses
all over her face and jaw, moving down to her neck. “Let’s see if we can keep
that pretty mouth occupied for a few hours, shall we? Questions later, right?”
“Michael?”
“Yes love?” he was nibbling on her ear now, his lips and teeth biting ever so
slightly, causing chills to run up and down her body.
“I love you.”
“I love you more, baby.”
***** Chapter 52 *****
Chapter Summary
     So I lied about that being the end..One does not simply ignore ideas
     in their head!! Enjoy :-)
Jana turned the key and stepped inside the entryway, dropping her bag by the
small table in the hallway. She dropped her keys on the table, the noise
echoing through the room. She had only been in her new condo for a little over
a week and the place still felt enormous. Enormous and empty to her as Michael
had left last week. He would be back at the end of the month or she would fly
to Los Angeles. It was miserable being without him, but it was what it was. For
right now this was their life together.
Just as she was walking into the kitchen, she heard a knock on the door. Fuck!
She hadn’t even gotten her shoes off yet.These damn solicitors would come by
every day, wanting to sell something – vacuum cleaners, soap, air filters – you
name it and they were trying to sell it. She almost wished she had rented out
an apartment. Much less hassle than these condominiums, but Michael had
insisted that she get something bigger than a small apartment, for whatever
reason. She did like the space – although it felt like too much right now. Once
she got all her stuff in, it would feel more like home. Once Michael got back
it would be even better, she smiled to herself.
She walked back over to the door, looking out the peephole, relieved to see it
was just the UPS guy. She opened the door.
“Sears?” The guy asked.
“Yes.” Jana answered back.
“I have a few packages for you. Can you sign here please? I’ll go grab the
other two.” He handed her the electronic tablet, and she signed. Who the hell
would be sending her all this stuff? She hadn’t ordered anything, she was
certain of that. He handed her the small package he had in his hands, and
walked back out to the truck to get the other packages. Jana looked at the
package dubiously, shook it a little, wondering what was inside. Something
rattled. The UPS guy came back, with another smaller box and a larger one,
about the size of a shoebox.
“Here you go ma’am. Have a good day.” He smiled at her and then headed back to
his truck.
Jana took the boxes and walked back inside, locking the door behind her. She
walked into the kitchen and set the boxes down on the counter and pulled up a
stool to sit on. She opened the first box. Inside was a box from Barneys New
York. What the fuck? Wasn’t that an expensive place?? It was a small box, and
fairly light. She carefully opened it and her breath caught. It was a beautiful
– and expensive looking – silver bracelet with a shark tooth on it. Fuck but it
looked very expensive. Givenchy was the name on the tag. That definitely
sounded expensive! She carefully pulled the bracelet out, and found a card
underneath. She slowly opened it. With a smile, she saw that it was from
Michael.
Baby, please don’t throw this one away. I had to spend a pretty penny on this
one. Love always, Michael
She smiled again, her insides melting at this gesture from Michael. Those damn
bracelets again. How she wished she still had hers. Regret washed over her
again. Knowing that it couldn’t be helped, she carefully unbuckled the bracelet
and put it on, turning her arm to look at it. It was stunning. She reached for
the next box, the smallest one. She opened it up, not knowing what to expect.
It was a picture of Michael, his hands in front of him, with his fingers in the
shape of a heart. There was a note attached to this one as well.
So I can be next to you at night – or wherever you decide to put me. Don't
forget about me! Love you, Michael
She laughed out loud, and kissed the picture, a silly grin on her face. He was
so sweet! How much she loved that man!
She finally opened the bigger box. It was full of shark tooth bracelets like
the one from Galveston. What the fuck? There had to be a 100 of them at least.
She searched through them, looking for yet another note. There was one attached
to the bottom of the box, along with a photo and a bracelet that had been taped
up. Was this her old bracelet? How the fuck?? She picked up the note first and
read it.
Baby, I know that you got pissed at me – rightfully so – and broke the bracelet
I gave you. So I repaired it. Yes I found it in your backpack and yes I was
snooping. You said it was there and I was just checking, ok? Ok. So I fixed it.
I also bought a ton more, since I am sure I will piss you off again at some
point and time. You have plenty to break in the future if you feel the need ;-
) Just kidding. I love you! I really do!
P.S. I still have my bracelet and I wear it. I found it in your suitcase when I
was looking for yours. I see you stashed all the pics there. I took those as
well, and dealt with them. Hope you don’t mind? Ok here’s a pic to prove it.
Love you and can’t wait to see you. Michael
She picked up the picture, now noticing it was indeed a picture of Michael
holding up his wrist, the black bracelet in plain view. He had his signature
sharky grin on his face. He was so handsome. Jana was momentarily blinded by
how gorgeous he was before she came to her senses. He had to be lying. There
was no way he did all of this without her knowing. She slid off the stool and
ran to her bedroom, going in the closet and pulling out her suitcase and
backpack. She sat down on the floor and opened the suitcase, finding it was
completely empty. She dug through her backpack, and her broken bracelet was not
there. He wasn’t lying.
She sat back on her heels on the floor, shocked and amazed at Michael. She
stared down at the bracelet on her arm, her mouth agape. She really, really
loved that man.
 
===============================================================================
Here's Jana's bracelet :-)
 
 
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