Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/311661.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Harry_Potter/Ginny_Weasley, Teddy_Lupin/James_Sirius_Potter
  Character:
      Harry_Potter, Ginny_Weasley, Teddy_Lupin, James_Sirius_Potter, Lily_Luna
      Potter, Albus_Severus_Potter
  Additional Tags:
      Underage_Character, Age_Difference, Next-Gen
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-01-03 Words: 11750
****** Worries for Another Day ******
by panther
Summary
     Teddy has always lived with the feeling that he doesn't belong in the
     family he has been raised to call his own. When his feelings start to
     turn inappropriately towards his godfather's son, he is faced between
     the choice of what is right and what he wants, biding his time until
     one birthday can pass and his worries can just be for another day.
     James struggles to grow into a young man and get the grades he never
     found important before while trying to make Teddy see that sometimes
     what you think isn't right is the only thing that really matters, all
     the while hundreds of miles away and trying to get his point across
     through letters and stolen moments where they could be caught at any
     moment.
Teddy reckoned James was about fifteen when he noticed him, noticed he had
grown up, grown into his gangly frame. He noticed that his vibrant red hair had
dimmed to a sensual copper that shone when the light hit it just right. He
noticed that he wasn't a child that was tiny in comparison to him; he was more
on Teddy's level, only a few inches shorter. He was also gorgeous and funny and
made Teddy happy every time he was around him. But he didn't allow himself to
think about that, he focused on his work, his Auror training and tried to
forget all about his godfather's eldest son. It wasn't right.
Teddy was of course, fully aware that he was different. He had been his whole
life, different, and aware of it. He was born into a family that was destroyed
and taken into one that was never fully his, because his blood family still
existed, dribs and drabs of what was once a legacy.
To be technical, along with his 'cousins' Draco and Scorpius and his great Aunt
Narcissa and Grandmother, he was the last of the Blacks. The true Blacks. If he
allowed his defences to fall, his powers to fade and his true self to shine
through, it stared back at him in every mirror, high cheek bones, thick hair,
and pale almost porcelain skin.
He was different because he was an orphan, no matter how much his Grandmother
tried to deny it, it didn't change the fact that he was an orphan, parentless
and alone. His Godfather never tried to take the place of his father, being
there if a father was what the young Lupin needed, but not forcing the issue,
not taking custody, and not adopting him. Sometimes, like now, Teddy wishes he
had, because if he had, he wouldn't be feeling this way. His possible
upbringing would have halted what his actual upbringing should have, but failed
to.
Harry was both his family and not. Teddy happily went to Weasley family
gatherings, but he wasn't a Weasley. He wasn't part of the family, no matter
how much he, Molly, Ginny and various others wished he was. That had never
bothered him before. He was happy to be Teddy Lupin and he was happy to live
with his Grandmother, he was happy to visit Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny for
dinner a few times a week and he was happy playing with their children as if
they were siblings or cousin or something he could call his own. But they
weren't.
That had been enough for him to fall off the path he was sure his godfather had
picked out for him that involved settling down with a nice boy, once Harry had
figured out Teddy swung that way, and live a comfortable life as an Auror,
respected and trusted by his peers. But he hadn't settled down. No one had been
good enough, no one had enough fire to hold his interest and he could only take
being asked to morph into something out of witch weekly so many times before he
snapped.
***
James was sixteen when Teddy's resolve crumbled. It was summer. The air was
heavy with tangible heat; the leaves on the plants in the garden had curled
around the edges. Even magically watering them wasn't working properly. Teddy's
red Auror robes clung to his chest and blew hot air up around his legs. It was
horrible, miserable and had forced the Potter family out into a crumpled heap
in their back garden. Summers were not supposed to be like this. Teddy had only
turned up to give Harry a file that couldn't wait until Monday morning. He
hadn't prepared himself for what was to come. Why would he have? It wasn't like
he was expecting to find them all outside with muggle swimming costumes on and
fans.
It wasn't like he expected James to be eating an ice cream cone on a towel in
just swimming trunks by the magically heated pool Ginny had somehow cajoled his
godfather into. It wasn't like he expected that to affect him so badly. It
wasn't like he expected James to catch him gawking before he had fully stepped
out onto the back patio of their London home,
"Teddy! What are you doing here?"
Teddy was sure he had frozen, was pretty certain his hair was turning as red as
his cheeks and he definitely wanted the ground to swallow him whole as his
godfather turned to face him, the paper in his hands, if only to give him
enough time to put himself back together. And try to understand why he had
fallen apart in the first place.
"James! Hi! I um...I have this!" he stammered, thrusting the file into his
godfather's shocked hands and attempting to smile at Ginny who was peering up
at him in shorts and a t-shirt from through dark glasses.
"Alright there, Ted? Bit hot for the cloak isn't it?" she said, with far more
cheer than Teddy deserved because, for Merlin's sake, he was getting hot under
his very literal collar because of her teenage son sitting not three feet away,
who was still slurping at his ice-cream, "We even had to cool the pool down for
it to be any use today and I can't say that happens often!"
Lily blinked up at him with her orange lolly melting in her hands and Albus
raised his nose out of his book long enough to smirk at the state of him. Teddy
managed a week glower in response. It wasn't like he wanted to be dressed like
that in weather like this.
"It's my work robes. Can't change. It's the rules see."
"Ted, it's hot enough to melt rocks out here!"
His gaze flickered to James who was looking disgusted at the thought of wearing
clothes in such heat, and Teddy suppressed a whimper. He had no idea how his
face looked when he did that, how endearing it was, yet how, sexual it could
become to Teddy's warped mind. Jamie smirked, as if he had just realised the
effect he was having. He seemed to take an irritatingly long time to lick the
ice-cream from his hands, off the tips of his fingers and Teddy was transfixed.
It shouldn't matter how long it took him, because Teddy shouldn't be paying him
any attention in the first place.
Harry and Ginny were oblivious.
Lilly and Al just weren't old enough to read the signs right. Or maybe they
just didn't want to, because they were not as broken as Teddy clearly was and
Al was as quick as a whip.
"A bit archaic isn't it? It's roasting. You would think they would have changed
those rules by now." Ginny commented, "If I wasn't in sport, maybe I would
write an article on it."
She went back to her iced tea, and Harry snorted into the file he was reading
on his deckchair.
"It's the rules, Gin. You would think if anything, they would have found a way
for us wizards to not be bothered by it. Muggles have electric hand fans.
Surely we can come up with something better than cooling charms you need to
redo every few minutes."
"Muggles have electric fans? But, don't you need plugs?" Teddy found himself
saying, relaxing slightly, but that might just have been because he wasn't
looking at James anymore.
"They use batteries." Lily piped up.
"Oh."
Teddy had never really understood how those things worked. How could a tiny
little cylinder keep something working for hours just as well as a huge cable?
Needless to say he had failed Muggle Studies in rather spectacular fashion in
his second year through the compulsory course and had ran from it and any
further exams as fast as he could.
"Can you stay for a while, Ted? Your shift is finished now isn't it?" Ginny
said, "I could get you some iced tea?"
Teddy shook his head. "I should go look over some files. Try to crack my latest
case."
Harry laughed and vanished the file he had browsed over, presumably sending it
off to his office.
"Come on, Ted, even Aurors get to live. Even if they are just out of training.
And I get to say so. I'm in charge after all."
"Yeah don't let that power go to your head or anything, Dad," James mocked as
he rose to his feet.
Harry just smiled, lazy and content.
"Stay, Ted? It's been a while. This old dog does miss you, you know. Somehow
morning meetings at the coffee machines are not the same," Harry coaxed,
trademark crooked grin in place.
Teddy smiled, or at least he tried. He couldn't quite manage it, not with all
the confusion swirling in his head. Why was being around James making his
insides squirm? He had control over this, he was sure of it. He had spent
months trying to fix and overcome this ridiculous notion. It made him feel ill
to imagine that it was coming back, now, like this, in front of everyone. And
the way James had looked at him before, the way he was smiling with his eyes as
he walked past him now. It didn't bode well and suddenly his knees didn't feel
so secure beneath him.
"Sure. Ok. I'll erm, just nip inside and....change?"
The words sounded like they were miles away because his heart was anchoring him
to the Potter home, the beaming smile of his godfather, the cheers of Lily and
Al as they realised he was staying and the light laughter from Ginny. But his
head was telling him to say his goodbyes and Apparate the hell out of there
before he could do something he was sure he would regret.
"Great!! James, are you heading in? Get Teddy some iced tea or juice or
something while you are in there. Teddy? I'm sure there are some clothes of
yours about. Might be older and a bit of a blast from your teenage past but,
better than Jamie's clothes right? You need to get those robes off."
He nodded and smiled and somehow found a way to joke with Lily before he
stumbled off into the house. The idea of Jamie's clothes on his skin and robes
coming off, and he wasn't supposed to feel his groin perk up as he crossed into
the kitchen, all too aware that it was only him and James in the house.
The teenager was in front of him with a glass before Teddy had reached the
stairs, all beaming smile and amused eyes.
"Got your tea."
"Yeah I'll um, be down in a minute."
James nodded, still smiling and Teddy could almost smell the hot summer on his
flushed skin. He gulped and hurried up the stairs, stumbling into the room
where Ginny kept odds and ends and letting his hands find clothes as his mind
raced with everything he should never think about.
He could hear Jamie moving about in the kitchen below, the rest of the family
laughing in the garden outside through the open window.
He was struck again by the idea that he and his sinful thoughts didn't belong
there, that this beautiful family didn't deserve to be tainted by Teddy and his
unnatural ways. He changed into the cooler clothes, the old cotton forcing back
memories of summers spent in that very garden, of him and his mates arsing
about with ideas of grandeur and conquering the world while throwing each other
into the pool and winding up the kids.
He let his eyes close, breathed in and immersed himself in the memories of
simpler times before bracing himself and trotting back downstairs, wand safely
in his back pocket and the rest of his clothes shrunken and tucked away in the
other.
Everything was so much easier when you were young. At that time, you just
wanted to grow up and be an adult, but adulthood wasn't what they said it was,
and soon, Teddy just wanted to be a child again. It was funny how things turned
out he thought. Funny indeed. Laughter rang in his ears and he sighed, readying
himself before wandering back down the stairs.
James was standing by the table, Teddy's glass in front of him, looking
nervous, yet still calculating at the same time.
"You haven't been around much, Ted. Not for the past year I reckon. What's the
story?"
Teddy blinked and shivered in the overpowering heat. James noticed.
"It's not cold."
"I know." Teddy rasped, his voice giving out on him and his nerves taking over,
"I have been in training and then working and you are at school of course."
James raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure it has nothing to do with Christmas?"
Teddy closed his eyes and then stumbled forward to swipe his glass from the
table and take a deep gulp. He had tried to forget all about that. It wasn't
worth remembering. It only made him feel worse, confirm his fears.
"Nothing happened at Christmas, Jamie."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure, I was there!" Teddy snapped voice low and dangerous as he
tried to keep the volume down.
He could still hear the rest of the Potter family in the garden outside,
laughing, joking, being normal.
James leaned back against the sink, the sun catching his hair and making it
shine, glow.
"Really? Because I'm pretty sure you came this close to ki..."
"Nothing happened."
"You wanted it to."
Teddy didn't say anything. He didn't trust himself. And by saying nothing, he
said everything and more.
Sixteen.
"Oh...you really ...did..."
James unfolded his arms and his whole facade crumbled, the teenage look of
bewilderment slipping naturally back into place as he reached up to run a hand
through his copper hair, a nervous Potter habit that almost made Teddy smile.
"I ...I mean..."
Teddy frowned and drained the last of his drink, his mind racing.
"You what? I don't...what are you doing James?"
James tilted his head, his hair flopping into his face.
"I saw how you looked at me at the party at the Burrow, and then later on."
He paused and took a deep breath. Lily squealed in the background and now they
could hear Albus up out of his book, chasing her around the garden, Ginny's
laughter as James stared a hole through Teddy and gripped at the bunker behind
him.
"I didn't....I wasn't..."
"Why did you never say anything?” James said, cutting him off.
Teddy felt his knees quake. He needed to get away from James and his questions,
"I have to go."
"Go? You just got here!"
"Outside! Your dad, he wanted to stay so....get out of my way."
"I'm not in your way you fool!"
Teddy growled in the back of his throat, well aware that James was a good metre
from the door. But it wasn't enough. He needed him to be further from him,
Teddy needed more space. Snarling, Teddy paced the kitchen.
"Look...we need to talk about this Ted. You were looking at me. You didn't deny
that."
Teddy nodded to himself, muttered under his breath and shut his eyes for a
second. When he opened them, James was staring at him from the other side of
the kitchen, a deep look of concentration on his face,
"Teddy?"
"What do you want me to say?” Teddy cried, defeat bitter on his tongue.
"The truth would be a good fucking start don't you think?!"
"I don't need to tell you anything because there is nothing to say. You seem to
know it all already."
James huffed and moved off from the bunker to pace the kitchen,
"What do I know Teddy? I know that you were....fucking....checking me out,
under my grandmother's nose. I know you are my dad's godson. I know you are
older than me. I know you are....gorgeous and funny and nice to me and I know
that even though you checking me out is a bit...well, weird, but I don't think
I really mind that much."
Teddy stared, words circling in his mind, thoughts racing too fast for him to
focus on any one of them.
"What?"
James blushed, a pretty rosy hue creeping down his chest.
"I think I might feel that....maybe we could..."
"I have to go!” Teddy half shouted, taken over by a sudden urge to escape.
He marched past James, slamming his glass down on the counter as he went and
taking in gasps of air as he got outside.
His gaze found Al, Lily, Ginny and Harry. A chance at normalcy. He stumbled out
into the garden, trying to forget what had just happened and everything that
didn't make sense.
***
The letter sat proudly on his desk, the folded parchment and green ink standing
out against the neat black files from the Auror office. Teddy loosened his tie
and thought over the words, rotating between scowling and biting back half
smiles. He made a show of rooting through his drawers for a spare quill, of
signing his name on his report, taking an extra few minutes to take it to his
boss' office rather than send it by magic all to put off reading the letter
again. It had been months since that day in the Potter's garden, in their
kitchen. He had almost managed to forget. As long as he wasn't alone he could
pretend it never happened. But now this letter was on his desk, and everything
was coming back into his focus.

September 12th
Dear Teddy,
I thought I would write so we could try understand uswhat is going on. I don't
think this is normal common but I think it can work. Our conversation didn't
exactly go how I thought it would. Not that I planned it but you know what I
mean. I guess you were holding out on me. It took six months for us to talk at
all. I don't think that is healthy, if anything else. We should, try
communicate. Or so Lily recons. Not that I told her of course. I just overheard
her talking to her mates about some drama in Hufflepuff. The same idea applies.
We should meet up and talk or something. I have a visit to the village in a
couple of weeks. I think we should meet and talk because this has been going on
too long I recon.
We both think each other is good looking or we wouldn't be looking so we should
do something about it right? Do you like me Ted?
Write back.
James
Teddy frowned, shook his head and shoved the letter into the folds of his
cloaks.
James was sounding like they could create something like a relationship if they
wanted to. But there were so many things standing between them.
There isn't, a traitorous side of his mind whispered.
He isn't old enough another side whispered back.
He just turned seventeen
His head spun and he reached out to grab at the edge of his desk and took a
deep breath, images flashing across his mind of when he was young and stupid
like James and with older men who at least pretended they loved him enough to
look past the fact that he wasn't legal to blow his mind and change him from
boy to man long before the law confirmed it.
If they were caught, by anyone it would be the end of Teddy and his career and
he would join the legacy of Blacks rolling about in insanity in Azkaban. But
the thrill and the idea and every time he closed his eyes he was taunted by
flashes of pale skin and a wicked gleam in somehow innocent eyes. James was now
old enough, he would graduate in the summer but that only made it legal, not
right. And Harry was his godfather. Teddy was sure there was something illegal
in that, something that had Azkaban hovering over him. Yet the want was there,
the need and it wasn't going anywhere.
Shaking, he grabbed his quill.
September 13th
Jamie
I shouldn't but I will. I'll get you around the back of the three broom sticks
if you send me the date. We can talk then.
Teddy
He sat his quill down and went round to coax the school barn owl that was
sitting on the top of his cabinet on the other side of his office down onto his
arm. The bird flapped its wings as he attached his scroll and nipped at his
fingers at his lack of a treat before disappearing out the window.
Only then did Teddy allow himself to fall into his chair, his hair falling
about his face in a dirty blond tangle, his metamorphic powers failing under
the strain, the worry that was already gripping him.
What the hell was he doing?
***
The time between James' first letter and the visit to the village seemed long
and torturous to Teddy. His boots crunched on the cold earth, winter already
taking hold of the Scottish hills surrounding the school. He felt like a
criminal as he pulled his cloak tighter around his face and edged up the
streets, clinging to the shadows as he spotted Al and his Slytherin mates walk
past in a huddle of laughs and jokes. To be that innocent, he thought. If only
things were still as simple as copping a handful of some girl's tit in a broom
closet or used classroom.
He had resigned himself to his fate. If that was even what it was? He was
giving in because his mind and his heart were pulling him along the same
wavelength. Or maybe it was his that his dick needed a release and he was a
hormone driven wizard in his prime who had wised up to the fact that James was
hot and he wanted him and he was still young enough to put the facts and
reality aside for long enough to get himself off. He wasn't entirely sure why
he had wasted so much time getting worked up about it in the first place. It
didn't matter how many dates he went on, how many random people he hooked up
with, he still wanted James.
Easing himself up the side of the pub, he got himself around the back without
anyone noticing him. Shaking the hood of his cloak down, he turned on his feet
only to jump, startled.
"James!"
The Gryffindor smiled and half waved with his hand, immediately raking his
fingers through his hair and brining a smile to Teddy's face.
"Hi. You know I....wasn't sure you would come."
"I said I would."
James raised an eyebrow and scuffed his shoe of the ground, leaning up against
the pub and shoving his hands in his pocket.
"You sent me a letter agreeing to meet and brushed off my attempt
to...what....be sensible? Mature? Something like that. We could have written."
He screwed up his face and Teddy rocked back on his heels, taken aback by how
young James was, how young he was acting. But then the sun was straining back
through and catching the tips of the younger man's hair, making it glow and
Teddy's insides squirm. The Auror forgot all about how mature or immature James
may or may not have been acting. At the end of the day, even in his job, one of
the most dangerous there was, you got your immature berks.
"I did not. I didn't see the point in talking over letters. Words work better."
"But we couldn't talk!” James squawked, "Couldn't you have written back?"
"We can talk now. And don't flounce about Jay. You're not a girl."
"Damn straight!"
A red flush was creeping up James' neck as he got more irritated and Teddy felt
his cock awaken and push against the muggle jeans he was wearing under his
cloak. He cleared his throat.
"I came here didn't I? Doesn't that tell you all you really need to know? I
mean, we're blokes. We don't need proposals."
"Yeah, but I won't be treated like a booty call either."
"Is that why you think I'm here?" Teddy said, his voice catching, his cock
getting harder by the second, his mind being taken over by that hazy fog that
gripped him when he thought of James.
"Isn't it? I wouldn't....well...mind if that was your idea."
Teddy frowned and leant up against the wall opposite the back end of the pub,
standing opposite James and making no move to hide his straining erection. His
thoughts were a jumbled, excited mess, everything he wanted right in front of
him. Everything he shouldn't want but had. It worried him that James had this
impression of him, especially after their words in the kitchen months before.
Surely that had been enough to show him that any feelings he had were about
more than having him? It was making him rethink whatever plan he had thought he
had in place.
 
"No. I thought you were the one that wanted more than that?"
James blinked, eyes wide and confused.
"Well yes I did, I mean I do, but you never really said either way and....Teddy
you are confusing me!"
Teddy was starting to confuse himself.
"Why did you agree to meet me here?"
Teddy shifted until his boots were resting against James' shoes, the slight
contact enough to give him a thrill, pathetic and showing how desperate he was
getting.
"I don't know. I mean I do but....I'm not sure I know how to explain it. But if
we do this", he stated, his voice low as if expecting someone to overhear them
even though he had a silencing charm in place, " Then I would want....what you
want."
"A relationship? You can say it Teddy, it isn't a bad word you know."
James smirked; sloppy half smile falling into place again and Teddy couldn't
help a weak smile in return.
"I know that. I mean, I don't want you thinking I just came here to get off."
James raised an eyebrow and lowered his gaze to Teddy's crotch.
"Looks like that might do you some good though."
His voice was low and strained and Teddy had to fight back the urge to rip his
robes from him, pretty sure by breathing and the crack in his words that James
was fighting back the same problem. He wondered if his hair was turning red
with lust, or if he had just retreated back to his natural appearance with his
thoughts all over the place.
"Maybe but it isn't why I am here."
"Liar."
"Ok it might have factored into it."
"Bet my birthday factored into it." James stated, pushing away from the wall to
place a hand on either side of Teddy's face and slinking forward, making Teddy
hold his breath and frown.
"It changed things."
James laughed and angled his head to press his lips to Teddy's. The Auror froze
at first, then relaxed and lifted his arms up to pull James closer, his hand
resting just above his arse as James gasped at the cold touch against his warm
skin. Teddy took the opportunity to snake his tongue into the younger man's
mouth, the pair fighting for control until James pulled away gasping.
He stumbled backwards, cheeks flushed until he was leaning against the wall of
the pub again, an empty WWW packet crunching under his shoes. His robes had
fallen open revealing the bulge in his jeans as he stared at Teddy with wide
eyes.
"Well um....wow."
"Yeah."
Teddy closed his eyes and tried to get his heart rate under control, the
pounding in shorts almost reaching the point where it was uncomfortable. After
waiting so long for it to happen, neither was really sure what to do with
themselves now that it was. Teddy wanted James, that much was obvious but what
James had said, seeing him flushed at one kiss, it didn't feel right to fuck
him now, there. It shouldn't be like that. But Teddy was a young man and he
wanted a release, and really, he wanted the relationship too. James' birthday
had passed almost without notice but it had warped Teddy's thoughts on
everything and he was seeing it now, in the back alley of the village, Hogwarts
looming over them in the background.
"I should....probably go.” Teddy rasped.
He should but he didn't want to.
"You need to get back up to the school."
James shook his head and reached out to grab at Teddy's hand.
"No! Not yet. I have hours yet."
Teddy sighed and his hand tingled at James' touch as he let go.
"This isn't the right way to do things. This is getting way too heated, way too
fast!"
"I'm not complaining Teddy."
"You're ....."
James looked up, titled his head as if trying to figure Teddy out.
"I'm what? I'm not a child."
Teddy flinched at the warning in his voice and pressed the tips of his fingers
to his temples, as if trying to force away the pounding in his mind.
"I know that. Believe me I do get that. I wouldn't be here if I thought that...
Can you say that if I said we were going too far and asked you to stop...that
you would? That you even could?"
"No. But....I....you can't just actually turn up and then kiss me and say we
can do this and then...leave me hanging! What? I go back to school like a good
lad and what then?!"
Teddy groaned and paced the alleyway, the chatter from the pub seeming to seep
out from the walls and along the streets and through the air, distracting him
as he tried to put his thoughts in order.
"I don't know! Lemme think!"
"You've had months to think!"
"I don't see you with ideas Jamie!"
"You didn't ask if I had an idea Theodore!"
Teddy stopped and whirled around to face James who was now smirking.
"What? You want to set rules? Guidelines or something like we are kids?!"
"Why not?"
"Cause we are adults!?"
Teddy snorted.
"What you think adults don't have rules and guidelines and instructions? Wow
you are in for a world of disappointment."
They both laughed but it was nervous as if they were waiting for the other to
explain something they didn't quite understand.
"I know that they do. I just...."
He tilted his head again and put his hands back in his front pockets, staring
at Teddy again and nibbling on his bottom lip. Teddy stared back and felt the
heat in his lower stomach return, overcome with a desire to nibble on James'
lip personally.
"What?"
James didn't speak but pushed off from the wall again and went for Teddy, not
giving him time to react before he had pinned him against the back wall and
catching him in a searing kiss. He nipped at Teddy's neck and then placed an
opened mouthed kiss to Teddy's jugular, making him groan.
"Jaaaaaaaames! What are you doing?!"
James laughed into Teddy's neck.
"I want you."
Three words. Three very simple words that went straight to Teddy's cock.
James placed kisses up his jaw and Teddy turned into the touch, his robes
suddenly too hot, his jeans too tight.
"Not that. Not today."
"Holding out on me?"
"I'm not going to take your fucking innocence behind a pub the first time we
hook up."
He pulled James' head up to himself and met him in a desperate kiss. Hands
wandered under their winter jumpers, exploring new territory, Teddy wrapping
his fingers around the thin hair of James' lower abdomen and groaning. James
pulled away from him with a tug and it was only then that Teddy realised he had
had his hand in his hair.
"What if we make an agreement?"
Teddy panted, slumping down against the wall and shaking his head, sides
burning from where James' hands had pawed at his skin.
"What kind of agreement?"
James smiled and grabbed a hold of Teddy's belt buckle, slipping his fingers
through the belt loops and rocking back on the balls of his feet.
"You ....you want us to have time and me to be a bit older right?"
"Right."
"And it will help your conscious and some such crap."
"James."
"Teddy. What about....graduation? Give us both something to look forward to?"
He was smiling, wide and toothy and oh so very James in that way that made
Teddy's stomach flip but at the same time, it was almost too wide. It was like
he was worried or concerned and gave off a confident vibe that still managed to
say he wasn't ready for that big step even if they had both turned up thinking
that was where their meeting would go.
"Your graduation?” Teddy asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Well it wouldn't be yours would it?"
James smiled and pulled on Teddy's belt again, reaching up to claim his lips
once more, as if the older man's lips were like his drug of choice.
"Don't be smart.” Teddy growled, "And doesn't setting a date for me to fuck
you, seem a little bit tacky?"
The smile slipped from James's face again and once more Teddy was struck by how
young he looked.
"It's more like just another game. We have been playing this for two years
Teddy. I haven't let anyone else touch me since then; I don't want anyone else
to touch me."
Teddy growled again, low in his throat, angry at the idea that anyone had
touched James before Teddy had noticed him.
"This isn't a game, you can't treat this like a fucking game and expect me to
treat you like an adult. You can't expect me to respect you if that is all you
think of yourself"
James looked up at him, wide bunny eyes that somehow just made Teddy harder,
made a twisted vile taste appear in his mouth because a glance like that
shouldn't be making him hard.
"I know it isn't a game. I know that but...why does everything have to be so
complicated?"
"Because it isn't simple!” Teddy spluttered, now fully aware of James' teasing
fingers running up and down his sides.
"Doesn't mean it has to be complicated. You need to relax, like, right now."
Teddy's eyes bulged because before he could make sense of the words and the
boyish grin on the younger man's face, he felt cool hands cupping his hard
cock, making him shiver. His eyes rolled back into the back of his head as he
groaned, closing them and biting on his lower lip. James smiled into his neck,
laughing slightly as he felt Teddy quiver as he teased his fingers down his
shaft, the musky scent that was simply James making the young Auror heady with
desire.
"Wh...what are you doing?" Teddy stammered.
"Need a diagram?" James quipped in return, laughing into Teddy's jugular before
taking a lick at the exposed flesh and enjoying the way Teddy arched up off the
wall, his cock preening forward into James' touch as he wrapped his hand more
firmly around the shaft and pressed a finger up against the head.
Claiming Teddy in yet another messy kiss, the teenager smeared the tip of pre-
cum over the head of his new boyfriend's pulsing member and dropped his other
hand from his side to palm desperately at his own jean. His erection pressed
against his boxers and he whimpered into Teddy's mouth, the slight moment
enough for Teddy to regain a bit of control and grab at James' arse cheeks,
squeezing the soft flesh in his hands as James whined and clamped his fingers
down harder around his cock.
Teddy gasped, every muscle in his body tightening for a moment, his grip on
James' rear so strong it neared painful, yet somehow sent shivers of pleasure
from James' brain right to his dick. How come James could make something he did
to himself every day so much hotter, simply because he was James? It made no
sense but Teddy wasn't going to complain. Instead he was going to fidget with
his zips and push at the youngster's hands and writhe underneath him while
freeing more pressure from his cock, both loving the release and mourning the
loss of the force pressing down on him. His sweaty hands entangled with James'
and a blush appeared over the younger man's cheekbones, a rosy hue that made
Teddy smile before James took his second hand from his own jeans and reached
past the layers of fabric to cup Teddy's balls, hard and unforgiving and enough
to make Teddy gasp, eyes wide as he moaned.
"Like that?” James half teased, half asked, the nerves still lurking in his
tone.
Teddy groaned, low and throaty and hoped it said yes because Merlin James was
good. Good even if his technique was a bit messy and untidy, but that fit him
and the Auror wanted more. Another laugh into Teddy's neck and James increased
the pace of his strokes, working Teddy's cock like no one had in years making
the older man tremble against the cold stone wall, making him forget where they
were and what they were doing and everything else he had told himself was
important.
Quivering, Teddy felt himself nearing the edge, James' hands almost too much
for him to deal with, the cupping of his balls, his own pre-cum being used as a
lubricant along his shaft and around his slit making him heady as the scent of
himself filled the air around him. Feeling like it was he who was the school
boy out of bounds Teddy cried out, his cock exploding into James' palm as his
stomach coiled under the pressure, making him slump onto James who half
staggered back under the unexpected weight as Teddy rode out his orgasm.
He felt more than saw his young lover's knees tremble and heard him gasp as he
came, opening his eyes just in time to see hazel eyes flutter shut. Blinking,
Teddy shook his head and tried to shake off the happy heavy weight that had
settled in his limbs, forcing himself upright and vanishing the mess he had
made in his jeans, the warm sticky feeling turning more uncomfortable by the
second. Tucking his sensitive cock back inside he adjusted his clothes and robe
and turned his hair a dark ebony black, telling James he had to go soon without
speaking a word.
"Leaving?"
"I have places to be and so do you.” Teddy mumbled in response.
James nodded and adjusted himself, the only evidence of their encounter being
the red blush that refused to fade from his pale cheeks.
"But I will see you again?"
Teddy met his gaze and pursed his lips, thinking things over before suddenly
smiling and reaching out to pounce at him, grabbing him and spinning the
yelping teen around in his arms with one movement, pinning his arms down and
burying his face between his shoulder and face in one quick Auror trained
movement.
"I think after that performance it is polite at least to keep in contact
and.....if that is round one, can you flunk out and be done with school right
fucking now?"
"You would like that wouldn't you?” James laughed, boyish again, honest. “But
then you would drown in guilt and do something really stupid like refuse to
fuck me and I aint having that."
"You seem awful irritated and in a rush about getting that cherry popped
Jamie.” Teddy murmured.
"You have no fucking idea how often I have dreamt about it. We could be like
this you know, you could push me up against this wall, right here right now and
fuck me with that big cock I just jacked off", he groaned, pushing back against
Teddy, firm young tight arse cheeks up against Teddy's mid section, making his
now flaccid cock stir once more.
"We should wait." Teddy reasoned, arms still pinning James in place, crossed
across the Potter's chest, " Write letters, which I will answer this time you
cheeky git and then after you graduate we can meet up."
"For the epic climax to this saga?"
"James!"
"You are just as much of a tosser as me."
"Not the point.” Teddy mumbled, tightening his grip of his lover, now more
aware of how awkward it was to hold someone who was about the same height as
you but not being as bothered by it as he knew he should be.
"It is. But anyway, I do have to go now. It is starting to get dark and if I'm
not back soon an owl will reach mum and....graduation?"
James wriggled free from Teddy's embrace and the Auror, his hair turning a
passionate red out with his control, seized him in a brutal bruising kiss that
left Teddy panting and he knew that James' lips would leave a mark. A statement
that he was taken.
It struck him that time was fickle and there was no point in wasting it.
Whether or not they had been aware of it, whether or not they were willing,
James and Teddy had been playing a demented form of the dating game for years.
They didn't need to get to know each other and there was no point in dates when
they were already so close. The one thing that could make or break them was
months away and Teddy was sure it was going to drive him quite mad.
"Graduation."
***
Graduation seemed to take forever and a day to actually arrive. Teddy's mind
wandered again, questioned. His work mates thought he was going quite mad and
he had seen Harry give him more than one side-glance look down the corridors at
the Ministry. He tried to ignore it. Failed, but at least he tried. He wrote
replies to James' letters, embarrassingly long letters that they charmed to
only reveal to the other and suddenly James' idea of a relationship through
parchment and quills didn't seem so ridiculous anymore.
James prattled on about exams and Lily's determination to not be single and
exams and his excitement at leaving Hogwarts and hopefully getting into some
sort of Transfiguration program at the Ministry, possibly being involved in
Teddy's office with defence, the exams and his wistful regret that as they
prepared to leave, he could already feel seven year friendships crumbling as
students searched for something more.
Teddy replied with tales of false alarms, bored days at the office playing
cards and then real raids on suspected Death Eater sympathisers. Peace could
only last so long, he assured James and now things were picking up again. The
difference was, this time they were ready for it and they had Harry Potter who
had seen too much to let history ever repeat itself.
James wrote back with concerns and questions and more prattling on and Teddy
would laugh and look forward to reading the next letter with a bottle of butter
beer on the couch. It was rather like a real couple and perhaps what they could
look forward to and that got his mind going again. Round in circles about
whether he should change anything in his apartment, do anything until
everything came back to graduation and the want, need and desire that had him
tossing and turning and jerking himself off into the sheets twisted around his
body all heat stained cheeks and gasping breaths.
Then another letter came.
May 4th
Teddy
Hope you are doing alright. First exam in the morning so I decided to write and
send this and see if that stopped the nerves a bit. Don't recon it is really
working but I am trying right? It should count for something somewhere. Al has
his OWLs of course; he is halfway through and looks terrified every time I see
him. Well, as terrified as a Slytherin can look. Scorpius seems flushed all the
time, not a very Malfoy look but he seems to be working it. According to Lily,
the girls find it charming or some such rot. Maybe he could catch my eye but
I'm taken. Funny that.
Anyway, the point of this letter is that I got a letter from mum and dad, but
we both know it was mum. I thought originally I would just get home off the
train, dump my stuff and be able to do whatever, maybe hit Diagon Alley for a
few pints or something but it seems she has other plans. She wants to throw a
party of all things to celebrate my graduation. Rose recons it is just cause I
am the oldest and you managed to wriggle out of it when she tried it before.
They are throwing a huge party at the house in London with all the family
invited and a few mates that can make it. Obviously most of them will have
better things to get on with so I said they could invite their mates to and I
can put up with being shown about for a bit and then blend into the background.
Mum and dad have allot of parties so I am hoping I can work it right?
You will come. And no, that wasn't a question. I'm dying to see you, dying so
bad I can't write what I have been thinking, doing to myself down on parchment.
Makes our last meeting seem tame, I'll say that much. So, the day I graduate,
you can come over and then we can have some fun. I for one cannot wait.
James.
That letter had had Teddy reaching for the fire whiskey. He had one shot before
he even sat down again, promptly pouring another and groaning. A party. A party
surrounded by the very people he didn't want to know about James and himself, a
party taking time away from them and a party James clearly had ideas about how
to finish off. It wasn't like Teddy didn't want James, because he did,
desperately, but at a party? In the very house his 'uncle' had taught him about
the war and his parents and life itself? It didn't seem right to Teddy to know
that at the end of the day, everything was building up to sex. Trying to
complicate it was pointless because that was what it was when it came down to
it. And James' first time, it could be sweet and wonderful and something Teddy
knew he would never forget but at the same time.... It could also be hard and
frustrating and worry Teddy to death because he would have to hold back, not
live out his fantasies just yet. All he wanted, he couldn't yet have.
It made his cock hard just thinking about it.
What he wanted, dreamed about, was James quivering underneath him, tight
muscles contracted around him, burning arse clenched around his cock tempting
him to cum. He wanted to go fast and hard and mean it with James begging for
more, just taking it until Teddy would be engulfed in unbearable heights of
ecstasy. But what he wanted and what was coming were two wonderful yet very
separate things.
A party. Not something he was looking forward to, that was for sure. He was
sure he would be too nervous to act properly, that he would find some way to
screw everything up. For an Auror, he wasn't that great at hiding things or
saying the right things at the same time. He should probably try to fix that,
but that was a problem for another time. He had far too much to worry about
now.
Scribbling a messy note to James in his half drunken state, Teddy agreed to the
party and returned to the biggest problem that had just occurred to him. What
was going to happen, if indeed it did, was huge, so he had something else to
worry about that might even seem girly but he wasn't a girl and had a cock to
prove it thank you very much but really, what the fuck was he going to wear?!
***
Letters continued to go back and forth and Teddy worried further to the
amusement of his young lover. Word of the party reached the office and Harry
tried and failed to hold back the pride in his voice when he confirmed that
James was ready to graduate and had somehow got an offer to work in some
obscure Ministry department. James who had spent the first few years of his
education arsing about being a prat and making his parents secretly worry that
he wouldn't graduate at all. Teddy couldn't help beaming with pride every time
someone mentioned it either and he got jittery every time he thought someone
noticed.
By the time graduation came, Teddy was nervous. Nervous as if it was his
virginity on the line, his innocence. It was like his first time all over again
but maybe it was different giving than it was taking. He was going to change
James forever. Him. Teddy Lupin.
Time seemed to crawl. He was aware of every event he knew was taking place
hundreds of miles away, when James would board the train, when the train would
get into London, roughly when they would get home, lunch time, the afternoon
where James had said he would be going to the Burrow to see his grandparents
and then the evening, as Teddy finished his shift, when Harry had mentioned he
and Ginny would be taking him out for a private meal.
He knew it all.
He went home as fast as he could and showered, not jerking off for the first
time in weeks as he rushed through getting dressed and turned his hair every
colour under the sun before settling on his trademark turquoise.
By the time he reached the old Black family home, he was jittery and nervous.
He was almost glad it was Lily who wretched the door open and threw herself at
him with a scream. Lily he could handle, Lily was safe.
"Teddy! I haven't seen you for ages!! Where have you been?!"
He gently placed her back on the ground and edged his way in the front door.
She was almost bouncing with excitement or happiness to see him, maybe both and
it could only make him smile. Even if she was adamant she was growing up, there
was still a nicely large part of her that was still a child.
"Here and there, busy. I do have a life you know, is that alright with you?” he
teased.
Lily beamed and adjusted the blue top that didn't need adjusting before
replying, her lips gleaming with lip gloss Teddy was upset she was wearing
because it meant she was growing into a woman.
"Only if I get to know every detail about it!"
Teddy's smile faltered and he coughed, covering a nervous laugh.
"Everything I can tell you Lils."
Lily took that as him talking about work and let him go, disappearing in a red
flash of energy as Teddy meandered into the living room, Harry spotting him
immediately.
"Ted! There you are! Glad you got here earlier; we are not long back from the
meal."
Immediately frowning, Teddy froze by the door,
"Am I too early though? Want me to go out and get some supplies and come back
later?"
Harry scoffed and edged his way around Fleur who was already there, but that
was usual as the French witch was always on the hunt for gossip, moving towards
Teddy with Auror stealth and a smile.
"Don't be a twat. You stay right here and you can make yourself useful by going
upstairs and trying to temp James out of his room. Git disappeared up there as
soon as we got in the damn door. Don't think he really wants any fuss, too much
like his old man but, Ginny wasn't to be reasoned with."
"I can imagine.” Teddy stated with a frown, his mind racing with too many
thoughts for him to grasp a hold of. After greeting the members of the Weasley
family who had already arrived Teddy headed up the old creaking staircase
towards James' room, trying desperately not to think of if he would be back
there later that night, his wand suddenly heavy in his back jean's pocket, a
reminder of what he was going to use it for.
He didn't bother knocking. Why would he? It didn't seem right somehow.
Necessary.
James was sprawled across his bed, eyes sparking to life as if he was expecting
a fight about being dragged downstairs. When he saw it was Teddy he immediately
sat up, smile falling into place. Teddy fell back against the door and the
click of is shutting seemed to echo in his ears.
"Hi."
Teddy tried to say hello in return but it was more of a grunt in his throat
before he slunk forward, crawled onto the bed before James could speak or he
could think and pinned him to the mattress.
"Wha"
Cutting him off with a searing kiss, Teddy smirked against his chapped lips and
forced a whimper from the now no longer school boy.
"You are supposed to be downstairs, but somehow I don't mind that you are not."
"I didn't know you were here."
"Well you wouldn't if you are hiding up here."
"Was there any point in being down there without you?"
Teddy smiled and rolled over; aware he was crushing the younger man.
"You are just going to have to deal with it; smile and take praise and think
of...."
James rolled over this time, half lying across Teddy, messy copper fringe
falling into his face.
"Think that when it is over, everyone will leave, you will say you are leaving
and then....", he paused, licking his lips, teasing and making Teddy grow half
hard, " Then you will come up here, work your Auror magic to keep in all the
noise, all the screams you are going to force from me and then..."
He trailed off because really, he didn't need to say anything more. Teddy's
mind was doing the rest of the work and he didn't need that so he rolled James
off him again and stumbled to his feet, straightening his shirt out and
marching towards the door, stopping for only a moment to say, "Later, I'm going
to make you regret being a fucking tease", before disappearing and leaving
James to burrow his face into the covers and try to sort himself out.
***
Teddy swayed through the party, caught between being irritated and nervous and
then not really being too aware of his surroundings. All his past worries and
concerns came and went and his fingers tingled and then went numb and his head
hurt but another drink soon sorted that and he wasn't sure what to do himself
and in turn, found himself sitting out in the garden where the guests had
moved, huddled in a corner by the pool.
Magical lamps and the pool lights lit cast a warm glow over the guests, more of
James' mates now balancing up the vivid orange glare from the Weasley family.
Teddy talked to various people but in general stayed out the way and just
watched James. Watched him interact with his family and peers, watched the
slithers of creamy skin he caught sight of every time the teen stretched a
certain way.
He wound himself up so tight he was fit to snap by the time people started
clearing out, Apparating straight to James' room as soon as he had hugged Ginny
goodbye. His head ached slightly at having to focus so much under the influence
of alcohol but he carried on waving his wand, silencing the room before sitting
down on his lover's bed and casting his gaze around the room with more
intensity than he had used in years. Each trinket was a sign of who James was,
and therefore, each one of them told Teddy a story, made him smile a little
more than the one before.
He was sitting, half lying really, on the bed reading some Ministry leaflet
about some job James would never do when the teen half fell through his bedroom
door. Teddy hadn't heard him come up the stairs, the used silencing spells
enough to block noise in any direction, make the pair feel like they were in
their own world. The leaflet dropped from his grip and he froze.
He hadn't thought this far. He had thought about before and he had thought
about everything that was to come, but how to get there, wasn't something he
planned. Luckily for him, James seemed willing to take something resembling
control, locking his door behind him and moving towards the bed, breathing out
to release all the air in his lungs before toeing out of his shoes, prompting
Teddy to do the same, before sitting down on the edge of his bed.
The only light they had to work with was the moonlight streaming in the window,
the pale orange glow from the dying lights outside. Teddy was tempted to cast a
lumos as James settled between in his laps, but somehow realised that wasn't
something the teen was looking for. He spent so long in the spotlight but the
burning fear behind the fire in his eyes told Teddy he needed the dark for
this. Darkness to give him the strength to do the hardest thing a man of his
mindset could do, submit himself to another.
Their lips met in a tentative first, almost too shy for what had happened
months before. Teddy slid a hand around James' waist, pulling him flush up
against his chest and deepening the kiss. James whimpered into his mouth as
Teddy's hands roamed under the back of his shirt, warm fingers on goose pimple
cold skin. The teen's trembling fingers pulled on Teddy's hair, hard and rough
enough to make Teddy his as he rolled them over until he had James pinned down
on his back, securing, holding him in place with his body weight as his cock
strained against his jeans.
James groaned into his mouth and pulled away, Teddy leaning back to pull at his
shirt until he could wriggle out of it, James immediately taking the hind and
writhing underneath him to remove his own. It only served to put more pressure
against Teddy's now aching groin, making him growl in the back of his throat.
"Stop wriggling!"
"Or what?"
A gasp. A smirk.
"Or we won't make it to the good stuff."
Cursing himself for being so, out of control around the younger man, Teddy
threw his shirt to the floor and went back to James. Kissing his neck with
feverish need, he felt his blood start to race and relished weaving patters
across James' chest with his finger tips. James arched into the touch, writhed
and moaned with innocent naivety that should have made Teddy wonder about his
past but only served to spur him on. As every minute passed, each kissed they
shared, every collision of their burning skin made James moan with desire, the
sounds always louder than the one before.
James arched up against him, almost knowing the Auror backwards, his reflexes
stopping him falling. The younger man caught him in a messy kiss and went for
the zipper of his jeans, one hand disappearing into Teddy's boxers and the
other tugging the denim down firm legs. Teddy groaned into his touch, hot
sticky fingers wrapped around his cock, more confident.
Not quite sure how he had lost the control, Teddy found himself flat on his
back, jeans pulled free down his legs where he could kick them off, James
straddling him, his eyes just that little bit brighter, the fear pushed further
back and overcome by lust. Clothes were ripped from skin fast enough to leave
tingling thrills, mouths meeting in hot heavy open mouthed kisses, control
shifting from one to the other and back again. Their cocks met and one gasped,
the other moaned, both feeling the blood pound in their ears, pool to their
groins.
Teddy rolled them over again, skin sliding against skin, sweat making them
cling together, a chill along their burning flesh. It was heady and maddening
to settle against James, feeling his balls settle against his lover's, his cock
bouncing up against his stomach. Teddy reached out and wrapped his hand around
the warm cock standing up from pale flesh, red, angry and needy. James groaned
at the touch, bringing a half smile to his lover's lips, They writhed against
each other as if they were both hormone drive teens, unable to grasp at any
sense of control, wrapped in a haze of confused passion.
His head dizzy, the darkly lit room swimming before his vision, his balls tight
with lust, Teddy grasped at his jeans, buried near the bottom of the bed, half
on the floor, pulling a small bottle from the back pocket. He felt his lover
try to sit up, see what was in his hands and he gently pushed him back onto the
covers,
"Stay."
James nodded but watched with attentive eyes as Teddy unscrewed the cap and
squeezed a dollop of cool gel onto two fingers, breathing deeply before edging
Jamie's legs apart and adjusting himself to sit between them.
"I thought there was a spell for that.” Jamie wheezed the moment he realised
what the elder man was doing.
"You don't want that. Trust me. Invented by a witch that doesn't know anything.
Just relax, I know what I'm doing. Trust me?"
"Of course."
Of course, but with a tremor in his voice, reminding Teddy once more, of how
innocent he was. Taking a single split moment to compose himself Teddy leant
forward to press a wet kiss to Jamie's flushed cheek, wrap one hand around
Jamie's cock and fall into a rhythm he didn't need to think about while
lowering his fingers to his entrance. He pressed the tip of his index finger
against the first ring of tight muscle and blinked as James moaned against his
touch, spurring him on as he forced his way past the first barrier, tight
muscle immediately clenching around his digit. Whines in the back of someone,
anyone's throat and he pressed in further until his knuckle had disappeared,
Jamie's knee trembling by Teddy's ribcage as he got used to the feeling of
someone other than himself pressing against his inner walls. Teddy reached to
wipe a strand of hair from Jamie's face, quickly adding a second finger,
quicker this time and not has heavily coated in lube.
James gasped and it rang in Teddy's ears, making his neglected cock strain
harder against his stomach. Teddy let his lover's dick drop from his grasp and
groaned as he wrapped it around his own. Scissoring his fingers, he stretched
at virginal muscle, breaking the body's natural instinct to repel the intrusion
while making Jamie squirm above him.
"Enough"
Sharply looking up, Teddy groaned, James spread out before him, around him,
flushed and determined and demanding.
Leaning forward, the Auror pressed another kiss to Jamie's cheeks while easing
his fingers free and wiping them on the sheets, found his lips in a kiss that
had no right to be as passionate as it was when both were nervous and overcome
with too many emotions to grasp at.
Teddy wondered if he should say something, something sweet and reassuring to
the point it was sickly until James was calm and ready. But James wasn't a girl
and Teddy wasn't that sort of person, both fully aware of this. What they were
about to do, was give themselves to the other in the closest way they could, so
he would give James himself and not an overly nice version of himself just to
match the occasion.
Bracing himself for what, he wasn't quite sure, Teddy took a deep breath and
rolled out a muggle condom, because they were always useful and reliable and
couldn't be screwed up when drunk, or so was the idea. Covering his cock with
the condom and then lube, he winced as the pressure was almost too much, carnal
need making him heady as he positioned himself at Jamie's entrance. He looked
up, felt Jamie's body hum with suppressed apprehension all around him before
the younger man nodded and he eased the head of his cock inside.
Gasps echoed around them, coming from them both and not being properly heard by
either of them, blood rushing almost painfully fast. James' muscles contracted
around Teddy, burning, painfully tight, making Teddy's cock twitch inside him.
Submissive, James panted, hard and heavy through the silence. Easing himself
out slowly, Teddy braced himself with one hand on the sheets, the other fisting
his lover's cock once more, smearing it with pre-cum and flicking at the head,
making James writhe against the ambush of sensations and squeeze his eyes shut
at the intensity of it all.
Increasing the pace of his thrusts Teddy pushed harder, reeling back the desire
to let go and rut against the tight heat, aware, always aware that this was
James' first time and with every thrust Teddy chipped away at a little more of
his innocence, shattering him into a new person. A person he loved and desired
and was beginning to create a life with in his own head even though they had a
relationship built on letters and lustful wanting that shouldn't have begun. It
was completely absurd but completely them and love. Wasn't that supposed to be
crazy and out of control?
Jamie clenched around him, nearly sending him over the edge, forcing him to
force back the release and continue to jerk James off, giving a little more in
his thrusts, rearing up more to allow himself to use his other hand to hold
James' hips steady, rock forward and take him at a different angle. All his
passion, all his drive, all his everything wrapped in the inferno that was
Jamie.
He felt his balls tighten, heard James cry out and arch violently off the bed
as he hit that sweet spot, grinning as he felt him come all over his hand,
gasping as every muscle in his lover's body tightened, the inner walls of his
arse clenching almost painfully around Teddy's cock. Without warning he came,
panting and mumbling under his breath.
His vision took a moment to come back into focus, his breathing a moment more
to settle and he wasn't sure his heart would ever return to a normal rhythm, it
was beating so fast. He pulled out of James slowly and half collapsed onto the
covers next to him, rolling over a moment later to lie on his side and gaze
down at him, dimly aware that with him being so spent his hair had rescinded to
its natural state and was sure his face had done the same.
Reaching out, he stroked the side of Jamie's face and sighed.
"Are you ok? I didn't hurt you did I?"
James rolled over and winced, Teddy automatically flinching in guilt.
"Well, yeah a bit but that is normal isn't it?” he said to Teddy's nod, " It
was worth it. God it was worth it. I have....I want to tell you so much, what I
have been doing, all about this but...."
He paused, his hand automatically coming up to ruffle his hair, cheeks flushing
a little as his eyelids fluttered shut for a moment.
"But you're tired. Can't say I blame you. Pretty knackered myself."
"Ha, I wore you out cause I'm that good."
Teddy smiled and swatted at James' side. He knew they should talk, discus
everything that had happened and where they would go from there but both were
tired, and Teddy wanted to give James time to just bask.
"If you recon so. I'm still sure work had something to do with that though,
your excuse is?"
James made a face and reached forward to press a kiss to Teddy's lips.
"Will you stay?"
Teddy went to speak, opening and closing his mouth several times before
sighing.
"You can't."
"It isn't that I don't want to but what if we wake last and your parents find
your room warded like an Auror holding cell? I....that isn't how you want them
to find out is it?"
"You want them to find out?” Jamie said, childish wonder filtering back into
his tired eyes.
Teddy groaned and wiped at his face with his hand. How very James.
"I say all that and that is what you pick up? Yes, well, of course, it will
have to happen sooner or later. That is how relationships work."
James blushed and scoffed, his confidence returning more by the second.
"Yeah whatever. I told my mum I wanted to be left in the morning, get a good
night's sleep in my own bed. She is gullible enough to believe it and dad knows
what young men are like, you couldn't pay him to walk in uninvited."
Teddy rolled onto his back, James immediately shifting over to curl into his
side, Teddy's arm wrapping around his younger lover without thought.
"Ok. I'll stay but I'll get up early and if you are asleep I'm not waking you,
get that good night sleep you were after. "
"You are just saying that so I'm not technically lying to mum."
"Maybe.", Teddy stated with a grin, "Maybe I just love you."
James hummed under his breath, hardly reaction to the declaration, already
knowing deep down because if Teddy didn't, none of what had happened would
have.
"Useful thing I love you too then."
He let his eyes flutter shut and began to imagine a life he hadn't dared to
hope for until only what seemed like only a few months before.
"What will we tell my parents, when?"
Teddy just smiled, fighting back the panic and dread with a warm sensation and
realisation that worrying about meeting the parents, seemed so very normal.
"That's a worry for another day."
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