Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3849433.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Teen_Wolf_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Derek_Hale/Stiles_Stilinski, Scott_McCall/Kira_Yukimura, Stiles
      Stilinski/Original_Female_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Mpreg, Fluff_and_Angst, Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence, Pregnant
      Derek
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-04-30 Completed: 2015-06-04 Chapters: 13/13 Words: 15236
****** With or Without you ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Derek knows his life sucks.But this takes the cake.One time he sleeps
     with a man/manchild and he is PREGNANT.
     Why does this happen to him?
Notes
     My first fic.I m soooo excited!!
***** Chapter 1 *****
He is a werewolf,not much surprises him.He has faced clueless kanimas,geriatric
megalomaniacs,misguided alpha packs,rogue omegas and the list is endless.
Also, his love life kinda sucks.Thanks to the Hale genes,he knows he is
attractive.But why is he a catnip for deranged people?,Yeah he isn't winning
any Nobel prizes here, but why is the universe hell bent on proving him to be
an absolute idiot?Despite being a born wolf,why did he not know that he could
get pregnant?And why does the other dad have to be an underage, flailing dork
without a filter?And to top it all,well he is in love with the dork.
Deaton looks sympathetic or he may be feeling constipated.Who knows with this
guy.."I know someone who could help you with this.I can't be much help
here..."Derek is sitting on the steel chair feeling cold and a little
horrified.He lives in constant danger.How can he bring a new life in this
dreadful place?"Is it..Is it mmm safe for the foetus or me ,if I do...the full
term?"he stammers out,face flushed red.
Deaton surprises him,by patting his arm in support."There have been a cases.Few
and far between.As I said I don't know much about it.Here is the number of
Eliza Ruys. She lives in New York and she can help you."
Derek gets up in a daze.As he is heading out ,Deaton calls out to him."Derek
,If you need anything ..You have the support of your pack." And isn't that a
kick in the nuts?He has no pack.Two of his betas are dead and the remaining one
is now aligned to Scott,who barely tolerates him on a good day.Sure there is
Cora,but she has been hardened by the times.She is not his clingy little sister
any more . And well about Peter ,the less he says,the better it is.
Stiles is the only beacon of hope in his otherwise depressing life.But he is
just 17.Would he hate Derek for making him a teen dad?The sheriff would shoot
him for sure, for touching his under-age son.Stiles has a bright future
ahead.Would he even want to be with a damaged person like Derek?What they have
is fairly new,just a few months old.No feelings have been shared, as of yet.It
was a spontaneous flame that sparked itself and now lights Derek up whenever he
thinks about Stiles.
He is tired and hungry.He starts the Camaro and takes off,trapped in his own
mind.He reaches his apartment complex only to find the Sheriff's cruiser parked
there.He can hear the Sheriff talking to Cora inside.He opens the door and
spots them sitting on the couch, talking about Cora's school plans.
"Hello Derek.Sorry for dropping in unannounced but I had an urgent matter to
discuss." He is a little baffled but catches himself and answers"Hello Sir.It
is not a problem." Cora looks at both of them and awkwardly says,"Well.Mmm. ..I
am just gonna head out Derek.See you Sir."
Afterwards ,they sit in painful silence for a while. John clears his throat,"I
am just going to be blunt here.Well,Stiles came out as bisexual to me today and
well he didn't say anything about you.But ,I am aware enough to know that, you
two are not just friends.Are you?" Wow,what could he say to that?
Derek looks him in the eye and says,"I don't know what you are talking about."
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Yeah so I have bashed a few things here , but it's not my personal
     opinion.As you can see I am writing about mpreg so , I really don't
     have any ground to stand on..
The Sheriff tries all his grilling techniques but, Derek doesn't budge.He has
enough self preservation instinct to dodge that bullet .Stiles was going to be
18 in a few months anyways.Maybe he would not hurt him then , specially since
he would probably be noticeably pregnant .Shaking off these concerns for now,he
starts making lunch for himself.
Mostly, he just eats packaged food,neither he nor Cora have any culinary
abilities.But,now he has someone else to think of as well.He rummages through
the fridge for anything healthy to eat .They don't even have milk. So, he calls
up Cora and asks her to bring some grocery. Then, he makes a PBJ sandwich for
himself and starts his laptop in hopes of finding something online related to
his situation.
After a few minutes he starts regretting it.Because, people are CRAZY.What the
hell do they think werewolves are? Knotting? HEATS? Just to emphasise again
HEATS? And he is overwhelmingly thankful to whoever is listening , that they
don't live in a world of Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics described in the
stories.Some mpreg stories describe ass babies which is going to give him
nightmares for years to come.According to some, he might become a hermaphrodite
too.
When he discovers that his baby could probably be born as a puppy , he shuts
down the thing.Because, spoiler alert ,werewolves not actual wolves.Though he
really liked the monogamy part of the fictitious tales.It may not be true ,but
he likes the idea of being with one person for his lifetime.Well, he is a
romantic at heart.His favorite novel growing up was Jane Eyre.Of course , these
tendencies were set to flame along with his family by Kate.
Now atleast his facade  for the world is of a grumpy sourwolf (Stiles is
ridiculous).Although, Jennifer penetrated that too.If the Sheriff had been
killed because of his stupidity , he would have taken a vow of celibacy.He has
sworn off romance for now.He knows he loves Stiles but,he has been judicious in
his affection towards him.He has been betrayed so many times that, he doesn't
think he can trust anymore now.
"Don't tell me you want to try out a healthy lifestyle now.Might have to change
your species for that,"Cora announces breaking him from his musings.
"Did  you get everything?"He hedges.
"Sure.Did Stiles put you upto this?"
"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and my sister."He offers her a
smile.
"Please stop .You look creepy,"she says with a raise of her eyebrow.He scowls.
He searches recipes for pregnant women on google and then starts making his
Chicken and tomato pasta.He also resolves to call the lady , Deaton told him
about soon.Cora observes him with a critical eye but remains silent.
As they have lunch,there's a knock on the door.Derek gets up to answer it ,
only to glare at the intruder.
"Hello Nephew.Do I smell a home cooked meal?"
 
***** Chapter 3 *****
Derek so doesn't want to let him in.But, you don't always get what you
want."Why are you here Peter?"he asks.
"Hey now, don't be rude.I just came to see my family.Is that a crime?"Peter
invites himself in."Hello Cora. Yes I will have what you are having.Thanks."
Cora looks at him unimpressed and serves him a plate.Derek joins them."So mind
telling us what actually brings you here?"
Peter pauses , stares at both of them and says,"Well the evil twins have joined
the McCall pack.Derek,I think you should speak to Scott.It is not his territory
alone and as an alpha your opinion too, should be taken on this matter."
Derek feels a wave of guilt sweep over him along with overwhelming
resentment.He knows that Scott is a forgiving person but, this seems a step too
far.To induct the twins in his pack when they ruthlessly killed his betas seems
cold on his part. "Fine.I will speak to him,"he grits out.
They clear the table and Cora shuts herself in her bedroom,most probably to
escape their psychotic uncle.Derek resents her a little.
Peter has been looking at him as if he is a museum piece and its unsettling to
say the least.He has always been a manipulative bastard even before the
fire.Relations between them have been strained since Paige died.
"I heard Stiles is practising with Deaton to nurture his spark.He is a clever
little thing.Don't you think?"drawls Peter.Derek grunts in affirmation.
"Well I admire his wit and he is not too bad on the eyes too.."he continues.
Derek has no idea what he is angling for here.Talking about teenagers and their
LOOKS,as if they are buddies or something.Most days he ignores Peter.Other
days, he wants to dig his claws into him.Today was one of those days.
He just keeps his expression blank and shrugs.
"He is a smart boy but still , oh so innocent. It would be a shame if he
becomes a centre of attention for wrong reasons.The Sheriff is his only
family.Disappointing him would surely destroy him,"he says with a scrutinising
eye.
Derek should have known better than to hide his feelings from his uncle.Now he
was just going to talk in his stupid riddles until he fesses up. Well he isn't
in the mood for that today."Goodbye Peter.I have something to do so, I think
you should leave,"he says bluntly. Peter accepts it for the dismissal it is.
"Your scent is a little different.Something new ,something fragile...Go see
Deaton ,will you,"he delivers his parting shot. Derek feels a little terrified
about Peter knowing his condition.Obviously,he doesn't trust him.But, he
decides to worry about it later .For now he and his baby deserve to rest and
forget about his awful day.
***** Chapter 4 *****
The next day starts with a usual bout of nausea ,that he has been experiencing
for a couple of weeks now.He speaks to Eliza, who invites him to spend his
pregnancy in her care,an offer that he declines.He would rather remain close to
Stiles.Nevertheless ,she enlightens him about what to expect.He feels a lot
better after the little chat.
He spends his time doing research on pregnancy and planning a meal chart.He
also makes note of the supplements that he should take.Hoping to tell Stiles
about his condition, he calls him up.
"Hi Derek.Wassup dude?"greets the spaz.
Not even commenting on the immature greeting,he nervously says,"I want to talk
to you about something important."
"Mmm..What is it?Are you OK..No wait, don't reply to that.Just say Gandalf, if
you have been kidnapped and you want me to come save your wolfy ass.Arwen,if it
is a fairy.Don't give yourself away to the enemy Derek,"Stiles is almost
breathless in anticipation.
Derek is not a violent person ,contrary to common perception.Stiles just brings
out the best in him.He feels an acute need to throw something.Through gritted
teeth he mutters,"Shut up Stiles."
There is a cackle on the other end."Just what I wanted to hear,"is the gleeful
reply.
"Can we meet today?"Derek asks.
"Lets make it tomorrow .Shall we?"
Derek is a little disappointed.He wants to ask why it can't be today.But , he
needs to give Stiles his space."Alright .See you tomorrow."
There is a hesitant pause,then Stiles says,"Take care Derek."
He makes another healthy lunch which results in another obnoxious look from
Cora. He resolves to reveal his pregnancy to her after informing Stiles. If
only,to stop them "LOOKS".
In the evening he goes to the McCall residence.Scott greets him with
suspicion,par for the course.Fantastic."Soo coffee?"he stiffly asks.
"No thanks.Just want to discuss pack business,"Derek answers.
Scott looks at him expectantly. So hee continues,"Seeing as we both are
alphas,any decision related to werewolves in Beacon hills should be jointly
discussed.My point is, I came to know that you inducted Ethan and Aiden into
your pack. And well,I object to this."
With a thoughtful look Scott says,"Everybody deserves a second chance.You
should know about that.They did wrong things but,none of us is innocent . So
,rather than judging them , I want to trust them."
"Noble as that may be, you are being naive here.Yes ,I am acquainted with
second chances but, I live with betrayed trust everyday , too.Don't place your
confidence in anyone so easily.I am not going to ask for retribution, but their
presence is a constant reminder of my betas' cruel murder.I can't stand to be
in their presence."
Scott seems a bit mollified."Fine .I will have to discuss this with
Stiles.Well, he is going to be my emissary FYI."
Derek is in no mood to stretch this matter."Well,call him now then."
Suddenly there is a smile on Scott's face,"Oh well, can't disturb him . My bro
is on his first date."
Derek is shocked for all of two seconds. Then , he flees the room, lest Scott
should see his anguished expression.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     Yes, I have updated the tags. No, I am not evil. Its a little heads
     up as I don't believe in dropping little bombs on unsuspecting
     people.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
There had always been some tension between them.They were so different yet, fit
together perfectly. Atleast that is what Derek had imagined.They had been aware
of this unspoken attraction for a while.For him, his patience broke when Stiles
sacrificed himself in the ice bath.It was an eye opener and he was so teriffied
of losing Stiles that he decided to hell with the consequences and confront his
feelings.
Stiles had reacted rather enthusiastically when Derek threw caution to the wind
and kissed him .From then on,they would meet either at his loft or Stiles' home
to talk, sometimes to kiss and more.They didn't touch each other in public for
various reasons.Even in the privacy of their own rooms , they didn't talk about
emotions or what they actually felt. Derek had presumed that Stiles would know
how he felt. Yes, he was smart enough and Derek was transparent in front of
people he really cared about.
Stiles was always his usual sarcastic, vocal self. But,the way he looked at
Derek had changed.There was a tenderness in his look .Stiles made him feel
lighter.He didn't feel crushed under his own guilt and multitude of problems
when he was with him.Infact, he smiled , an honest smile, when he thought about
the idiot.
Sometimes,he felt like a predator , taking advantage of a minor.He knew deep in
his heart that Stiles had a brilliance , which his stupid peers didn't
understand. But as an adult it would be valued. Derek lived in constant fear
and insecurity that he would find someone more suitable,less broken when he
realised he could do so much better than an older emotionally constipated
werewolf.
It was on one of those self loathing days, that they had a silly argument.It
started with a disagreement about climate change , which escalated to making
jabs at each other's sartorial choices and ended on comments about Derek's
failures as an alpha and Stiles' inability to blend with the regular
crowd.Needless to say both sides were hurt and they didn't talk for days. Derek
decided to mend fences as he realised that Stiles had mostly been correct, as
always.
Stiles had lined his window sill with mountain ash. So, he ringed the bell. The
door was opened for a second and then slammed shut on his face.
"Stiles! Stiles! Open the door,"Derek shouted. On a hushed whisper he added
"Please". After a beat the door was opened.
Stiles regarded him silently. "Can I come in?" he asked . Stiles shook his head
and looked at him without emotion. But Derek could smell the nervousness and
misery on him. "OK then .I just want to say I am sorry.We both said awful
things and well, lets just forgive and forget."
"Wow .That's rich coming from you Derek. But you see in your anger, the vitriol
that you spewed about me , made me realise what an outcasted freak I am and
that it's better for all involved if I keep myself isolated from cool people
like you.So just take a hike. Al right. "As he moved to close the door Derek
insinuated his leg in the opening and pushed.
"Stop being stubborn and listen. I said all that because I wanted to hurt you
as you had hurt me. It wasn't what I actually feel. You have power over me and
I felt vulnerable so I retaliated. I really am sorry.When I am with you , I am
at my best and worst,"he admitted.He had laid out all his cards and he felt
liberated as well as terrified . Stiles was looking at him
unflinchingly,without his usual twitching for once. Derek couldn't meet his
eyes so he studied the different shades of his plaid shirt.
Suddenly he was pulled forward and then Stiles was crushing their lips together
and Derek was so relieved he could cry.They always argued and insulted each
other but it was mostly playful.This was the first time their attacks had been
so cutting and personal. But all his leftover guilt and righteous anger
disappeared when Stiles bent down and sucked on his throat. They stumbled their
way to the bedroom,groping and kissing along the way. Stiles missed a step and
Derek was afraid for him but they managed to get on the bed, without an
accident .Stiles, King of clumsiness tried removing his clothes as soon as
possible and almost brained himself.Derek didn't know whether to laugh or
cry.But he settled on putting him out of his misery.
When Stiles lay naked on the bed except for his boxers , Derek decided to give
him a little show. His stomach was in knots but he tried to offer a flirtatious
smile.Stiles was looking at him unblinkingly , in open mouthed fascination and
stroking himself through his boxers.His mole dotted skin was flushed and his
heart was racing.As Derek bent down to remove his jeans well predictably it got
stuck. It wasn't his fault that he liked to wear painted on jeans. Watching him
struggle broke Stiles out of his trance and the fucker had the audacity to
titter. Derek saw red. He clawed through the offending fabric and jumped on
Stiles,only to start a brutal war of too much teeth and tongue.
He kissed and nibbled his way down his body , pausing to suck his nipples and
tongue his navel, covering all the moles on the way. Stiles was stunned to
silence. Good for him. He removed his boxers and without any preamble sucked
down his dick. Stiles gave a shout of surprise and pulled on his hair to hold
on to something. They had exchanged blow jobs and hand jobs before. Derek was
no expert , but he tried to make it good for Stiles. Licking and sucking
alternatively and making it as wet as possible. Stiles was in blow job heaven
if his hitched breaths and encouragement of "O god yes!" "Ah Derek like that"
was anything to go by.Derek tried deep throating him which , he realised wasn't
as easy as it looked in porn.
He gagged and came up for air.Stiles immediately crowded him and pulled him
close."I am so sorry. Are you fine? Did I choke you?"he asked distressed.
Derek was discomfited to say the least.He avoided his eyes and snapped,"I am
fine.Stop fussing."
Stiles took his face in his hands and forced him to meet his gaze."Hey don't be
a sourwolf. I know you are embarrassed."Derek gave him a look. "But, you don't
have to be.You are stunning and I feel really lucky that you are doing this
with me." Derek blushed. "Although ,you could use some practice,"he said with
an impish grin."And well so could I."
With that,he proceeded to blow Derek's brain through his dick.As he lapped up
his pre-come,his hand massaged his balls and started rubbing his pucker.Derek
made an embarrassing sound.Stiles stopped his maneuver with a wet slurp and
asked him."I have been thinking about this a lot.Can I fuck you?"
Derek had never been with a guy before Stiles, mainly due to mistrust and lack
of time, as more often than not he was in the process of running for his life.
But, he did think about gay sex before Kate had happened.So, he had tried
experimenting with his hole and liked it.In later years, he sometimes played
using a few fingers to spice up his masturbatory routine.He realised he would
really love it if Stiles was the first person to love him that way.In his
series of fucked up relationships , this could be the only silver lining.
"Yeah . OK . Just let me use the wash room first and Hmm.. Do you have lube?"
he asked, cheeks turning pink under all the stubble.
"Oh yeah. I have . Its supposed to be a really good brand , for smooth gliding
and well I am gonna shut up now,"he said,as Derek glowered at him.
"OK you stay here . I will be back," he said and hurried out of the room. He
cleaned himself as best as he could and stared fingering himself. It felt odd
but familiar at the same time. After a while, it started feeling really good
and he lost himself in the feeling .There was a knock at the door which brought
him back to the present.
"Derek. Derek . Are you al right ? Derek?"came Stiles voice through the door.
He hurried up and opened the door to find Stiles standing anxiously, with a
hurt expression that he tried to cover up.
"We don't have to do it , if you have changed your mind, you know," he said
worriedly.
"Shut up," Derek replied and pulled him in for a kiss.They fell together on the
bed and Derek started stroking Stiles' cock which had flagged. When he was hard
again , Stiles pulled him down and settled himself between his open legs. Then
he lubed up his cock and started rubbing it against Derek's which too was wet
with precum. "Shouldn't I use a condom?" asked Stiles as he rubbed his cock
against Derek's entrance. The only reply was Derek pulling his ass to get
closer and a forceful kiss.
Maybe he realised werewolf and virgin was no combination for an STD as, he
probed his hole with two fingers and gradually started scissoring him.Derek
made an impatient sound and said ,"Just get on with it already." Which earned
him an eyeroll.
Stiles took his cock in his hand and after a few trials the head of his cock
caught Derek's hole and he started pushing inside. Derek felt the stretch and
concentrated on Stiles' beauty, his taste , his euphoria and lost himself in
it. Finally ,Stiles bottomed out and breathed ,"Please tell me you are okay
cause I am gonna blow my load."
Derek smiled and kissed his brow .That was all the answer Stiles needed as, he
started a brutal pace, jack rabbiting in and out of him. He pulled his legs on
his shoulders and bent down to fuck his mouth , too. Derek made incoherent
noises and dug his claws on the head board.
Stiles was as quiet as a church mouse except for his panting. Finally, a way to
shut him up. His rhythm faltered and he started jacking off Derek
furiously.With a shout Derek came and became limp. After a few more thrusts ,
Stiles followed and collapsed on top of him. Which rude. Derek didn't even put
up a token protest and hugged him, burying his face in his throat. That night ,
he had thought he could keep Stiles, who stared at him in wonder and rapt
attention as they exchanged loving kisses and a few playful kicks. He should
have known better .
Chapter End Notes
     Why did I ever think I could write smut..
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Nature is god's greatest gift to mankind . The clean air , the scent of woods
and pine , the sounds of the wildlife always calm his wolf and give his human
self , a sense of peace . When he had come to back to Beacon Hills , this is
why he had elected to stay at his ruined childhood home . The woods around the
area made him feel less alone . He envisaged himself to be one with it . That
was the only thing he didn't like about New York . He loved the skyscrapers ,
the liveliness and the anonymity the city provided but , he missed the quaint
greenery of the forest . That is where he goes , after his flight from Scott's
place.
 
Stiles is on a date . Stiles is on a date .
 
The same sentence is looping around his brain and making him feel an itch under
his own skin . So he sheds his clothes and leaps off into the woods as a wolf .
Eliza told him that it wouldn't harm the foetus if he shifts , till the second
trimester. His wolf form is not disconnected with his human self but , as a
wolf his senses are honed . His instincts and his awareness are acute while his
emotional senses become faint . He runs and runs , chasing deers and foxes ,
terrorising rabbits and squirrels .
 
When he stops to catch his breath , he hears something that makes him misty-
eyed . It is a whooshing sound , too fast in frequency but it is the most
beautiful thing that he has ever heard . He changes back and caresses his
abdomen which is hard with the abdominals visible . It will not be the same in
a few months' time but he can't make himself feel bad about it , after what he
just heard .
 
For the first time since he realised he is carrying , he greets his baby . "Hey
little wolf . I am your daddy and I just want to tell you , I love you so
much," he whispers with a smile. He somehow feels connected to the new life now
and the reality of the situation makes him feel delighted . His life is a tale
of bad decisions and tragic endings but this feels like a new beginning . He
has never felt anything so pure and so right. He decides no matter what happens
, he will not let this little person down.
 
After a while he dresses again.
 
As the adrenaline runs out , he starts feeling edgy . He wants to believe it is
just a misunderstanding and Stiles actually doesn't want to be on a date . But
, then why did he not tell him about it , if there was nothing to hide . Is he
going to be left alone all over again? The worse thing is, this time he won't
be alone in this rejection . He starts falling into the circle of self doubt
again.
 
Did he do something to make Stiles feel dissatisfied? They haven't even had an
actual fight since a few weeks now . Things have been serene and there has been
a harmony in their togetherness. They even text each other now, mostly Stiles
sending him inane messages and Derek replying in one word. Should he have been
more enthusiastic in his responses ? Once , Stiles had asked him to go out for
curly fries , but he had turned it down coz he really hates the greasy smell .
Did it make Stiles feel spurned ? They hadn't fucked after that first time ,
mainly due to the Sheriff's presence in the evenings , as his shift at the
station had changed . But they did exchange blow jobs and hand jobs. Whenever
Stiles tried to take things further , Derek halted the proceedings since he
didn't fancy getting shot by Stile's dad . Did Stiles feel cheated and want
more ?
 
With these thoughts whirling in his mind , he decides to confront Stiles about
where they stand and tell him the truth . When he climbs through the window
into the bedroom , he discovers the room is in disarray.Clothes are strewn
around on the floor and the dresser is untidy . It could be considered the norm
for teenagers but , Stiles is a lot more organised than that.There is a scent
of another person in the room ,he can't remember her name but it's Scott's new
girlfriend , he guesses. Must be really nervous and excited about the date ,he
thinks plaintively.
 
He can hear the Sheriff working downstairs , the scrape of pen on paper , his
tired sighs and the slosh of his drink against the glass surface . He waits and
waits some more . After two hours of sifting through the books and trying not
to think about what Stiles would be doing and with whom , he leaves.
 
When, he crosses the street ,he finds that the jeep is sitting on the driveway
. As he wonders about the gender of the person Stiles has gone on a date with ,
a car stops in front of the house .
 
He steps behind a tree and witnesses Stiles talking to a girl animatedly and
smiling. He can't exactly see her since she isn't facing him but he can make
out long blond hair. He can't listen to what they are talking about , what with
the distance and the hum of the car's engine . He contemplates going back
inside the house and all of a sudden , they are kissing.
 
He shuts his eyes and whirls back towards the preserve . After all , he has got
all his answers now .
The woods are calling him again.
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks for all the comments and kudos. I really appreciate you ppl
     taking time out to read this fic.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     Guys I apologise for the delay in updating.I m gonna make up for it
     by lightning fast updates now.Ciao!
The sting of betrayal is his companion now.Funny thing is every time this
happens he thinks he is desensitised and won't feel any emotions in the future.
So why is he able to hear his heart breaking right now?
Where did the moisture in his eyes come from?
Why does he feel hollow?
What is the purpose of getting down on his knees and letting his claws shred
his jeans?Now that makes him laugh a little.Even in his grief,ain't he a
wordsmith?And he keeps laughing till his belly aches.Because if he doesn't , he
might just take a dip in the nearest pond and never come out.
Stiles has laid down his cards, now it's his move and he has decided what it is
going to be.For now he is going to lie down on the green grass and cry his
heart out.
He wakes up with a pounding headache.His face feels sticky and his throat feels
so dry.For a moment he is confused by the dark and the woods,then he
remembers.Of course how can he forget that he is Derek Hale ,the king of
tragedy.When he reaches home , Cora is sitting on the sofa,flipping through a
magazine.He walks briskly and hides his face, without a word , hoping she won't
notice his puffy eyes and the tear tracks on his face.
"Derek what the hell? What happened? Why did you cry?"she runs towards him and
tries to hug him.And he is so mortified and pissed off.His mother used to tell
him that one should never hide their emotions as it leads to frustrations and
an unhealthy state of mind.He never did listen to her.He hates it when people
look at him and try to judge his feelings and emotions.He is not an open
book,far from it.This is his body and his mind and nobody has the right to try
and decipher it without his explicit permission simply because they don't know
him and they don't know his story.So he maintains an expressionless façade and
revels in it.
"Cora please leave me alone,"is all he says and then goes to the bathroom to
wash the evidence of his grief.That night he tells her about his decision
amidst painful looks of concern from her.He doesn't tell her the true reason
for his resolve but she supports him nonetheless.Just in that moment he loves
her some more.
New York is all that it is made out to be and more.Derek loves it.He takes a
deep breath,wants to lose himself in the fast pace of life and the multitude of
people.After a painless goodbye to Cora and travelling for a few hours, he
arrives at Eliza's doorstep.She was delighted when he told her his decision to
stay with her during the pregnancy.Being a single woman of age ,she welcomed
it.
It is a quiet and peaceful neighbourhood and she is a middle aged woman with
grey in her hair and kindness in her heart."Oh hello Derek.I hope you had a
nice journey,not too stressful,"she greets him.
"Hi Eliza.I am fine.I just hope I am not imposing on you here,"he speaks
nervously.
"None of that Derek.It is totally fine as I have assured you time and again.Let
me show you the apartment."
It is a quaint little place with two bedrooms, a hall and a dining room.His
room has a bed , a couch ,a table and chair set and a dresser.It is unassuming
and he likes it.After thanking her and having dinner, he retires to his room.He
checks his phone only to discover several messages and missed calls from Stiles
that ignite such white hot fury in him ,he ends up throwing the phone against
the dresser and curling up into a ball to cry another night away.
He wakes up to the aroma of pancakes and jazz music playing in the
background.After performing his morning routine ,he joins Eliza at the dining
table.
"How are you this morning sweetheart?Is it OK if I call you loving
nicknames?"she enquires.He smiles through gritted teeth and tells her that it
is not a problem Lizzy,which receives a sceptical look from her.
"Have you been taking the meds that I told you about ?"she asks.
"Yes.Actually I am curious to know about your experiences in this.How did you
first come to know about male pregnancies?"
"As I already told you my dad was a werewolf and I grew up amongst them in
Utah.A neighbouring pack there had an alpha who had this weird illness that
perplexed the pack doctor.He was the alpha so it was a stressful period for the
whole pack.After nine months everyone realised that the elusive disease was a
cute little baby in his belly.The funniest part though was that he was engaged
to be married to a girl.After the incident , we came to know that he was
actually gay and afraid to come out.He had a secret boyfriend who was a
druid.Then we researched about this and ascertained that an alpha werewolf
could get pregnant if he was gay and had sex with a being who has magic.It
ensures continuation of the species but the chances are really low hence it is
a little known phenomenon."
"But I am bisexual,"says Derek with knitted brows.
"Gay /Bisexual whatever you kids call it these days.A guy having sex with
another guy and being the catcher.Does that make it clearer to you?"she asks
dryly.
Red in the face he mutters an affirmation.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Eliza is a Child Development Associate and operates a crèche downstairs.It is
for kids below five and they create a racket from 9 to 5,his werewolf hearing
notwithstanding.She had a helper who left a few days back.Derek offers to help
her out for a few days.This is why currently there is a two year old pulling at
his beard and another three year old screeching at his left ear.He rarely feels
like he belongs, but right now he is so out of his depth that he wants to
screech along with the three year old terror.
He has been here for a few days now but it is the first time that he is left
alone with the demonic minions and is now panicking about his unborn child.He
is into the third month of pregnancy and so far it has been smooth sailing.His
"abs of steel"-another of Stiles' gem,have become softer now but there is no
drastic change .
He hopes his child would not turn out like these spoiled brats otherwise he
will have a rather exciting life.He is so looking forward to it.
Not.
He tries to placate them with the promise of sugary treats before naptime.They
don't budge.Then he attempts baby talking which is rebuffed with baffled
expressions on the kids' faces.He starts telling them a story.He is told he
doesn't know how to tell a story.He starts singing.The kids start wailing.
They are not good for his self-confidence.
An angel of lord comes with lunch and Derek's peace of mind.Eliza soothes the
frazzled kids and shoots him an apologetic look.There are seven kids in total
and they hate him.Eliza tells him its his frown which makes him turn his
eyebrows downwards along with thinning of lips.She points towards him and says
"There .There."Which makes his face go expressionless.
She has the patience of a saint.She reads them stories in voices, plays with
the toddlers,makes funny faces,helps them to the potty and teaches Derek all of
those things.He still can't get along with the kids.
At night in his lonely bed he thinks about Stiles.Cora tells him Stiles asks
about him.Derek keeps his mouth shut.He doesn't tell her he thinks that Stiles
is a son of a bitch and a cheat.He doesn't tell her that he hates his little
girlfriend and is so jealous of her.He doesn't say that he hates him so much
but he can never stop loving him.He doesn't say that he still wishes the best
for Stiles and he prays all his dreams come true.He just keeps his mouth shut.
He changed his number after his phone broke on the first day.He doesn't want
any apology or explanation.He wants to grieve and tear up over a love that was
never his.He cries when he is alone and thinks of a few stolen moments,of a
smile so pretty,of eyes that sparkle,of a mouth that is wicked and touches that
caressed his soul.He throws up a few times and uses it as an excuse to cry some
more. Eliza regards him worriedly sometimes,asks him if he is okay.He smiles
tightly,he is totally okay. He doesn't have an appetite but stuffs himself.He
learns to cook decent meals and does light housework.He keeps himself occupied
with work,with television ,with reading,with anything that isn't Stiles.
At night in his lonely bed he thinks of Stiles again.With the resignation of a
scorned lover.
Cora has been invited back to Peru.She wants to leave Beacon Hills.Peter
doesn't have his new number.He tells her to do what she wants.She wants to
leave so she leaves.
His last connection to the hell called Beacon Hills has been severed.He
rejoices that day.Treats himself to a cup of cappuccino and brownies at the
nearest cafe. Eliza disapproves ,he doesn't care.One cup won't kill Stella/
Stiles.Yes he is a cliché and has decided to name the kid after its father.This
he will take for himself and his child.This little part of that annoying
spaz.Just his name.
He starts looking for jobs in the neighbourhood.He has the Hale money to
survive on but he needs to fill his time.He no longer works out
obsessively,just a walk in the park.Eliza has hired a new and qualified
employee so he leaves the crèche. There is a little book store cum cafe.Derek
loves books and he loves coffee , which he no longer takes except for that one
day.So he applies and gets the job.There are teenagers working there on a part
time basis except the owner.He is a friendly guy of about thirty.Derek enjoys
the rush hour of the mornings and the quiet of the afternoon hours.He doesn't
talk to anyone and his co workers are fine with it.He arranges and catalogues
the books,helps out the patrons in searching for any particular requests and
maintains the inventory .The coffee service and register is supervised by
Nolan,the owner.
He thinks he is doing well.
turns out,he is wrong.He is so weak .And so angry.
Eliza was watching A walk to remember.He doesn't like to watch romantic movies
because he thinks they are cheesy.But he watched that one.After dinner he
contemplated about life, death and his own mortality.In a moment of weakness he
called up Stiles on his house phone.He remembers his cell phone number,his
telephone number,his house address,his birthday and the total number of moles
on his body.
Anyways,he was just hoping to hear his voice,the pattern of his breathing.
"Hello.Stilinski residence.Who is this?"
It is a girl.If he is correct ,a teenage girl with long blond hair.Obviously he
can't be sure but he wants to think he is .
It is the catalyst to the cocktail of emotions he is feeling.He knows he is
sporting red eyes .
He feels unparalled rage course through his veins
He shreds the bedding ,topples over the things on the dresser and punches
through the wood on the table.After thoroughly destroying the room,he changes
into his wolf and howls.
Which isn't really the smartest thing to do in New York city.
***** Chapter 9 *****
"Late night watching television.Aha.But how we get in this position?Hmm.It's
way too soon, I know this isn't love.But I need to tell you something
I really really really really really really like you
And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too?"Belting out the lyrics of
a latest pop song Derek is in the shower and tenderly caressing his belly.Yes
he has a bumpy belly now.The abs are finally gone and he feels relieved.It
means he is not crazy and imagining the lovely lub dub of a beating heart other
than his own .
Eliza advised him to cool his jets and sing peppy numbers for a cheery
disposition for his baby's health and his own happiness.Also the fact that he
doesn't remember any lullabies so sings catchy numbers to the kid is not
relevant at all here.Not at all.
The baby would definitely be a werewolf as is the case with same sex unions
apparently and his anger or depressing emotions will affect their own emotional
development inside the womb.So now he tries to be happy for his kid which means
he frowns less and tries to curb his homicidal urges at most people and
situations as he is normally wont to do.
He was ashamed after destroying Eliza's property and mortified when people from
animal services roamed around the neighbourhood for a few days looking for a
wolf in the area.So he replaced all the broken stuff and promised to not lose
control again ,atleast near the residential areas.
His morning sickness is completely gone but he has an aversion to tomatoes and
peanuts now which was a hard learned lesson and he was literally brought to his
knees with all the puking.He loves eating spicy food now, which he never, did
before but in a cruel twist of fate it ain't good for his bowel movements and
digestion so he maintains a fine balance .
So turns out Nolan is gay,specially when he asked out Derek on a date.If he
were a vengeful teen, well he might have said yes just to spite his ex-
whatever.Unfortunately he isn't.So he turns him down gracefully i.e. tells him
he is not interested.But the guy is cool , takes it like a champ and is
respectful.
Also he doesn't lecture him about his scowl scaring away a few faint hearted
dainty creatures.No that is the duty of a nosy and snotty co worker who
despises Derek on principle alone and makes the worst coffee this side of the
planet.Yeah he doesn't care and scowls at him.
He watches the News with Lizzy as she hates the" crap dished out nowadays in
the name of television shows."He has always known that the world is fucked
up,his life is the epitome of that.But seeing the evidence of it everyday n TV
is not good for his constitution.Terrorism,gender imbalance,climate
change,discrimination and the list is endless.He wants his baby to feel safe
and secure and not be afraid of these external factors he can't control.He sure
as hell can't change the world so he decides to change himself and try and be a
better man for his daughter.
Hence he now has a kitchen garden and uses the organic waste as manure ergo
minimising the garbage output.He sells the Camaro as he decides to only use
public transport.It was Laura's and had sentimental value but he reckons her
memories are forever in his heart not in an object.He economises the use of
fuel whenever he can.He consciously tries to be a better person and help people
out even when not asked.He volunteers at a nearby NGO to serve homeless people
meals.
The wounds in his hearts are deep but he believes they will get better.
Derek talks to the baby when alone and tells her all about his life.Well he is
too chicken shit to tell her the tragedy called story of his life when she can
actually understand it so he is covering all the traumatic parts for now.Which
includes some tales about her other dad.Which makes Derek equal parts sad and
angry and confused.
"So he ran over the Kanima and sent the bill of that piece of rust to
Jackson.Let me tell you he was not happy.But your father is so silly sometimes
,he made me want to strangle him a little you know,"he says one night.
"Then he said I am a sourwolf.Yes I know he thinks he is so witty.But baby
,sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.Hey you can be sarcastic all you want .I
won't care,I promise." he soothes the bump another night.
"I hate him so much baby.How could he not know?When you love someone so much
that you would do anything for them how can they walk away from it?Well I hope
his little girlfriend gives him hell,"he says drowsily.
"You can't just turn off your emotions like that ,there must be something more
to it .He is the bravest ,smartest and kindest guy I know and I am sure even if
he didn't love me he won't betray anyone.But it turned out for the best
sweetheart.I was the scourge of supernatural in their lives and now that I am
gone,they would be living a normal happy life,I hope.Your aunt Erica and Uncle
Boyd were his age too and they had to leave the world because it is not a just,
beautiful place as they show in the movies sweety.Your father deserves a life
filled with happiness and normalcy.If he knew about you he would sacrifice his
future and try to do the right thing.I think I am glad that he didn't get the
chance.His dad wouldn't forgive me for it I think.Stilinskis have suffered a
lot baby and they are so much better off without us.But don't you worry I may
be alone but with you I will never be lonely and I will love you so much
sweetie.Please don't resent me when you grow up too."
***** Chapter 10 *****
"Here is your order,apple,"beams the teen ,handing over the package to Derek.
"Thanks jerk,"he replies huffily.Ever since his seventh month of pregnancy he
has become a beached whale and is called apple "endearingly "by the jerky staff
in the cafe because he is huge and has plump cheeks .He is loathe to admit,
with his rounded figure and healthy pink look he does resemble an apple
,doesn't mean he wants to hear it though.
He started having trouble working nine hours in the cafe as it is a little
difficult standing for an extended period of time and also he waddles.He feels
drowsy and tired which mixed with the scent of coffee beans in the cafe,make
him want to drop on the floor and take a nap.His centre of gravity is a little
screwed and he doesn't want to hurt his kid by accident so he has quit the job
and it was his last working day today.
As he moves to go out ,Nolan intercepts him and waves to him.
"Hey Derek,leaving?"asks Nolan.Derek hates him now because he can't smell the
attraction on him since he grew into a hot air baloon.The shallow jerk.Everyone
according to him, is a jerk nowadays except for Eliza who is a pure soul and
gives him belly rubs and foot massages sometimes.
"Yeah.My shift is over as you can clearly see,"he snidely replies.He raises an
eyebrow in annoyance.
Nolan ducks his head and tells him," I just wanted to tell you that you are a
great employee and if you ever want to work here again,the doors are open.Even
if you don't, please keep in touch.I would like us to be friends."
Derek feels ashamed for hating the guy ,for not feeling something that he never
responded to in the first place.He has become a capricious lycan ever since he
couldn't see his dick.
"I really appreciate that Nolan and yes we can friends,"he says sincerely.
After bidding goodbye ,he walks back to the apartment and plans the evening in
his mind.It is biting cold in November and all he wants to do is huddle close
to the fireplace with his green tea and honey,reading aloud an O. Henry story
to Eliza and Stella.
When he reaches the apartment Eliza is nowhere to be seen.So he prepares a cup
of tea for himself,fills a tub with hot water ,adds some peppermint oil to
it,switches on the TV and then sits on the sofa sipping his tea and his feet
soaked in the water.Peppermint has become one of the few scents that calm him
now.
"OK for the History channel kick once and for National Geographic kick
twice,"he says to the bump.He receives three kicks in succession.
"Well don't be confusing like your father now.Lets do it again.Shall we?"The
baby doesn't kick for the next five minutes
"If you wanted to see the Mentalist you should have just said so baby."With
that he changes the channel and starts an hour long Simon Baker staring
fest.The baby is always playful when that show is on.He suspects they like
Baker too or well he just needs an excuse to watch the guy.Whatever.
"Lucy am home,"Eliza greets him.
He spots her carrying take out and says,"Please tell me that aroma is of
Chicken Tandoori and Naan."
"Yes it is.FYI,this is the last time you are eating this spicy food.You know
you have digestion problems with this and you become cranky.I don't want to sit
up another night to console you while you wail about your stomach being on
fire."
"That was one time,"he huffs.
"Yeah.What about the time when you were wailing in the loo and the neighbours
heard you screaming because your ass was on fire,"she has a smile of amusement.
Derek doesn't dignify that stupid jab with a response since he is above this
shit.He just looks daggers at her and discreetly tries to smell the bowl of
heaven that is spicy Indian food.
"Now move your butt from there and come eat.You don't want it getting cold,"she
says.
With a little effort he gets up and waddles over to the dining table.
"When will the Ob/gyn you told me about be coming here ?"he enquires.
"Her name is Polly and well she told me that she would come after your thirty
six weeks are done.The caesarian will be done at thirty seven weeks.It's an
early term but it is the best time for a werewolf baby to be born."She
hesitates then says,"I am not trying to pry into your personal life here but
Derek I just want to tell you that werewolf babies are really clingy and it is
easier earlier on if a couple takes care of them together.They inherently
recognise the scent of their parents,you know."
Derek turns rigid and replies stonily,"I have told you before I am not in a
relationship and there is no involvement of the other father in our lives.I
know it wouldn't be easy but we will manage."With that he gets up as fast as he
can, in his state and shuts himself up in his room where he cries till his eyes
are dry,hunger gone.He had thought that he was done with the senseless tears in
the first few months of being knocked up.But nowadays he easily becomes
emotional.For Stiles,he sometimes feels desperation,sometimes anger,other times
overwhelming love.He has warring and moronic emotions that he doesn't want to
feel but his hormones don't give two shits about him like the rest of the
world.
He does shopping for the baby in a span of just two days because he loathes
shopping especially since its Christmas fever going on and can't stand the
crowd or to choose between itty bitty baby clothes that are all equally
cute.Whichever baby stores he scouts ,he receives sympathetic looks and hears
whispers of "sympathy weight gain,"which he doesn't even want to think
about.While buying diaper,he thinks about buying adult ones for himself because
he sometimes pees now involuntarily.But when he hangs around the section
selling adult diaper and picks a pack he hears snickers and feels the eyes of a
woman standing beside him,he can scent her amusement.He feels tears in his eyes
and flees the place.Fucking hormones.He makes sure to scold the baby for
putting pressure on his bladder and then feels guilty and apologises for an
hour.
The winters in New York are unforgiving and he mostly spends his days napping
and gorging on food okayed by Lizzy.She brings a small Christmas tree two days
before Christmas.On Christmas eve Lizzy's sister Ava and her daughters
arrive.They stay in Long island and spend Christmas with Liz every year ever
since Ava's husband died.They are jovial and kind people who talk endlessly.He
helps out in the kitchen and steals a cookie or two while baking.
On Christmas they have a hearty meal and gifts are exchanged.He becomes teary
eyed when Lizzy gifts him a baby blanket with the triskelion stitched on it.She
herself becomes teary eyed when he gifts her a jersey and baseball signed by
Mike Piazza.She is a huge crazy fan .
He speaks to Cora who is in a good place in her life and is in love.He feels
happy for her.He even calls Nolan to wish him a Merry Christmas.It is a good
day.
He argues with the foetus sometimes when he is in a especially bad
mood.Sometimes he tells her about the family he has lost.
"Your grandma was a well respected Alpha.She used to tell me that she hoped my
kids would turn out like I did when I argued with her.But I want you to be like
Stiles.You should have his wit and his intelligence.I can be a gullible fool
and it's not nice to be so easily fooled.Your aunt Laura used to tease me all
the time about my naivety as a kid.But I told her that it doesn't matter if I
was naive.Well I was proven wrong sweety.I got my family killed and you won't
ever be able to meet them because of me,"his breath hitches but he soldiers
through the impending breakdown,"They would have loved you baby.They would have
loved you."
The baby at eight months is very active and nocturnal.He barely sleeps a wink
at night and so has terrible dark circles under his eyes.During the fool
moon,the baby scratches his internal organs with teeny weeny claws and he
almost howls.He stuffs his shirt in his mouth to prevent himself from doing so.
As promised,Dr Polly arrives after his thirty six weeks are up.She is a stern
little werewolf who reminds him of Lydia.
"A friend of mine is a cosmetic surgeon here,so we will be able to manage your
caesarian section in his clinic.Have you experienced any major discomforts
during the pregnancy?"she asks.
"Not really .It has been smooth so far,"he replies.
"OK then just keep taking care of yourself and do what I tell you to do.You
will be good to go then."
So he keeps doing that-light exercises,green vegetables,some
meditation,basically whatever she wants and the day of delivery is upon him.
"Hey baby we are gonna meet soon.Are you excited?I am.I will see you soon
sweetheart."
They leave in the morning on 29th December to get her out of his womb,wherever
that is.He is taken to the operating room where Eliza ,Dr Polly and Dr
Schneider ask him to just relax and be ready to meet the baby.
He feels scared for the first time in his pregnancy and wishes someone he loves
were there with him.He wants to breathe in the scent of Stiles when he is cut
open so that he can gather strength from it.He wants Cora to be there holding
his hand and being excited about meeting her nephew/niece.Even fucking Peter
would do.But he has no one but himself to draw courage from so he does.
The anaesthesia is administered and he feels woozy.He is giggling ,when he
feels some pressure on the abdomen .Then suddenly the pressure is gone and he
passes out.
He wakes up to the sensation of feeling a tug on his hospital gown.He blinks a
few times and yawns then turns his head and comes face to face with a squishy
red,most beautiful baby in the world.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     Well there is a panic attack in the chapter so if it's a trigger just
     avoid the initial paragraphs.
     To the sceptics :There is a happy ending,just stick around.
     To ari1405:You mind-reader you.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Stiles!Stiles!Stop right now!"As soon as as the brunette turns a little body
projectiles into him and he falls to the floor in a heap.He looks up to see the
prettiest eyes in the world staring right back at him.
"Hey little guy.Wassup?"he raises his brows in greeting and gets up along with
the kid.The kid just opens his mouth when he is cut off.
"Stiles?"
It is a voice that he never wanted to hear again.
Derek is the most beautiful looking ugly heart motherfucker in the world and
Stiles loathes him.Time stands still as he looks at him.
He is still the same but his leather jacket and tight black jeans are gone and
replaced with a soft T shirt and loose fitting jeans.But he can still stop the
traffic.Stiles doesn't know what he looks right now like but Derek is staring
at him as if he has seen a ghost.Stiles feels as if the wounds that were
healing, have been scratched open and he feels a shortness of breath he hasn't
felt in a while and wheezes for breath. Tears are blurring his vision and he
falls on his knees.
Jules cups his face in her hands and says something but he can't understand
anything.He feels like he is drowning and there is no air to breathe.
"Stiles come on.Breathe with me. Just feel the pattern see,"she takes his hand
and touches it to her chest.But he can't calm down not when he can see Derek's
worried face in his vision.Suddenly he is embraced from behind and he can feel
the beating heart behind his back and big strong hands covering his own.He
slumps and takes deep breaths.He regrets doing that, when he smells for the
first time in four years the scent that haunts his dreams and leaves him
gasping.Wanting.
"Hey you're OK,"Derek says soothingly.He jerks back fro him and stands up
,still feeling a little weak in the knees.
"Daddy who is this man?"asks the little boy.Suddenly Derek looks embarrassed
and says,"This is daddy's friend Uncle Stiles."He looks at Stiles with an
expression he can't decipher and says,"It's good to see you Stiles. Long time
hmm?"He then flashes his false smile at him and Stiles grits his teeth.A soft
hand touches his arm."You fine Stiles?"That breaks him from his reverie and he
flashes a false smile back,all teeth.
"Hi Derek.Wow.This is something.Wow.You disappeared from the face of the earth
huh.Wow."Derek looks blank, almost too blank."Well who is the little
dude?Recruiting kids in your pack now?"he asks waspishly.
There is a flash of anger on Derek's face which is gone as he looks at the kid
and says,"This is my son,Stiles."
Stiles feels pain shoot through his heart but he twists his face into a mockery
of a smile and asks ,"Yeah.What's his name?"
"Stiles,"says the wolf again.
"What?"he asks irritated .So done with this werewolf and his so called son
already.
"It is Stiles,"Derek says impatiently.
"What the hell Derek?"he asks in confusion.
"My name is Stiles and I don't like you,"says the little devil.
"Yeah I don't like you too,"comes the automatic response and then he realises
what the kid said and feels his eyes widen.He looks at Derek questioningly who
is trying to avoid his eyes by fixing the perfect collar of the spoilt brat.Any
progeny of the wolf has to be spoilt.
And when the hell did he find the time to reproduce anyways?He is sure the kid
is biological because he has the same deceptively beautiful eyes.And the bigger
question why would Derek name his kid after him?That too a nickname?What in
heaven's name was he trying to accomplish?Did he feel guilty for leaving and
betraying Stiles and the pack?Was he trying to commemorate or something?
"Hi I am Julliane.Seems like Stiles forgot his ettiquette back at the
hotel.Your kid is really cute by the way."Stiles hears and glares at the
blonde.
"Say thank you Stiles,"Derek orders.Stiles jerks back towards him to give him a
piece of his mind and to tell him to mind his business,why the hell would he
thank Jules for insulting him, when he realises that he is looking at little
Stiles,nope that name has already been bestowed upon his lovely penis.Stiles 2
then.
"Thank you Ms Jullan,"says the kid with a grin.Well actually he might be a
little cute if you squint in particular way.Maybe.Probably.
"Hi I am Derek and well Stiles and I know each other from Beacon Hills,"says
Derek hesitantly.Knew each other?Yeah that's a way to put it.
"Well I know about you. Would you like to catch a cup of coffee with us so we
can sit and chat comfortably?,"Julliane prompts when both they just awkwardly
stand and look at each other.
So, they sit in a hole in the wall Book cafe where Derek works.Stiles is blown
away .Derek working.In a cafe.The day is just full of surprises.
"So what is the Beacon Hills gang upto?"Derek asks.He looks
uncharacteristically subdued.
"You mean since you tucked your tail between your legs and forced us to sort
out the mess you left behind?"he sneers.
"Stiles!""Mr Stiles!"There are twin cries of indignation from Jules and Derek's
kid.
"Stiles please,"Derek says ,again with the blank expression.Nothing fazes this
guy.Isn't it?
"You are meanie.Daddy don't talk to 'im.I like your tail.Its fluffy,"says
Stiles 2 with a pout.
Stiles almost sprays out the iced tea he is having and chokes.After recovering,
he looks at the kid with a bored expression and replies,"Scott is in UCLA and
is an aspiring vet ,Isaac turned out to be your protege and ran to France after
graduation,he pauses for effect and sees the façade on Derek's face break
some.Mission accomplished .So he continues,"Kira is still with Scott and is an
aspiring doctor.Lydia went to London and is living with douche bag Jackson
,both studying law.And they are "not together".Aiden and Allison are dead,"he
takes a moment to get his bearings and doesn't meet anyone's eyes ,"And yours
truly is a newly appointed deputy,following dad's footsteps."
Derek's mouth is set in a grim line."So much has happened..When did?..How?..I
don't know what to say..Mmm what about..?"his eyes flick towards Jules who
smiles warmly and says,"Well I know about your furry issue ,if you know what I
mean,"Then she waggles her eyebrows.She is taking on too much of his
characteristics,he muses.He will have to talk to her .Seriously."I am a student
at Beacon Hills University and pursuing art."
Derek nods weakly.
"Daddy can I go say Hi to Nolan?See he is waving to me,"the kid is excited to
see a tall man with dark hair.
"Fine, go but don't have anything sweet when he offers.Your sugar quota for the
day is over. OK?"
"OK daddy,"he turns to go but, suddenly comes back ,kisses Derek's cheek and
hugs him tightly as if he won't come back and says,"I love you daddy."
Derek flashes his first real smile of the day with his eyes crinkling at the
corners"Love you too sweetheart,"he hugs Stiles 2 back.Stiles feels his breath
catch and feels an unmitigated wave of want flow through him.He feels his
cheeks flame and ducks his head.He is so ashamed .What would Jules think?
"How old is the cutie?"Jules asks,pointing towards Stiles 2.
Derek looks wistful and says,"Well he is three."
Stiles really wants to hit that stupidly perfect face right now.He had the kid
right around the time he left Beacon Hills.Couldn't keep his dick in his pants
could he?Ugly heart asshole.
"You live with your partner?"Jules is too nosey for her own good.Again with
copying him.Stop it Jules,he tries to convey by pinching her thigh.
"Oww.Stiles you.."she socks him."Sorry ,you know he has impulse control
issues.Yeah so you were sayin?"
He wasn't saying anything Jules ,you were,as always.
"Na.I live with a family friend and Stiles,"he replies.His countenance is
rather dull with slumped shoulders and his downturned lips as if seeing Stiles
has hurt him.Well it will never be equivalent to how much Derek broke him.
"So what are you people doing here actually?"Derek asks ,looking at Jules.The
fucker won't look at him.
"Well we have to shop here for my wedding dress.It has always.."Jules is cut
off by the dude Nolan who is carrying Stiles 2 on his hip."Excuse me I am sorry
to interrupt.Derek I am leaving now.You are coming to my place tonight
right?"he puts a hand on Derek's shoulder and is smiling down at him.Oh so he
left the kid's mom and got a new boyfriend?Stiles doesn't have give a shit
about Derek and the fucker Nolan looks like a smiling idiot anyways.Perfect for
Derek.They can play house all they like Stiles doesn't care.Good for them.
Derek looks oddly dazed and before he can reply Stiles 2 squeals.
"Daddy I come too?Please..Nolan gives me superman to play,"he is looking
imploringly at him.
He sounds choked as he says,"Nolan this is Stiles and this is Jules.They are
..friends from Beacon Hills.Guys this is Nolan and he owns the coffee
shop."They exchange greetings.
Derek continues,"And No Stiles we aren't going.Sorry Nolan but I am going to
cancel today.Lets reschedule for another time alright?In fact could you drop us
at the apartment?I have something to take care of."
"Fine I will drop you,"answers the guy.
Then Derek looks at us , gives us another fake smile,writes something on the
napkin and says,"So it was nice meeting you both but I have to go now.Stiles if
you want to meet again or contact me, here's my number."
"I already have your number,"Stiles blurts out.Derek looks surprised and Jules
eyebrows are raised to high mountains.
Why would he say that?Because he likes to be made a fool of.Thats why.And he is
going to delete that number. ASAP.He doesn't need Derek's number because he is
nothing to him.Just an acquaintance.
"Well OK then.Bye."Derek mutters and leaves the cafe with his stupid boyfriend
and brat kid.
"What the hell was that Stiles?"Jules looks annoyed.Well.
Chapter End Notes
     Yup the chapters are getting longer progressively.Well thats cause I
     wanted the fic to have 13 chappies and didn't really plan ahead.So
     bear with me ppl.
***** Chapter 12 *****
"Good night daddy,"comes the sleepy voice.
"Good night honey.Sweetdreams."Derek presses a light kiss on Stiles' forehead
and leaves the bedroom.
After brewing a fresh cup of tea,he sits out in the balcony to clear his
head.Ever since his chance encounter with Stiles two days ago,he has been
feeling unsettled. His first reaction on witnessing that familiar freckled face
was absolute numbness.He had entirely frozen when he saw Stiles that day and he
couldn't figure out how his limbs worked.But then the panic attack was an eye
opener and he had burst into action to soothe Stiles as he had done once years
back before, when they were more than just acquaintances.
He had looked the same mostly with the exception of a certain kind of
seriousness in his eyes which hadn't been present when he was seventeen.All the
innocence in his beautiful brown eyes was gone now.
He had felt devastated to see borderline hostile attitude of Stiles and his own
son towards each other.In the past whenever he had let himself dream about
Stiles and their son together he had imagined shared laughs and childish
delights.Well seems like he was wrong after all.He wishes they had atleast
smiled at each other once, just a quirk of lips which made them look so
similar.
It was painful to see that Stiles was not happy to see him at all and was fully
equipped as ever with his arsenal of insults to throw at Derek.
The nail in the coffin though was the presence of "Jules",that too buying a
wedding dress.Any sliver of hope that he had ever experienced in the past was
gone now.Stiles would be forever out of his reach.Derek knows he is doomed to a
lifetime of unrequited unfulfilled love.Nevertheless it is poetic justice
really.Derek had taken his decisions and he had to bear their results no matter
how painful and unjust they may seem.
He had given his number hoping to atleast hear Stiles' voice again and had been
left surprised to find that Stiles had already known his number.Well he has
been waiting for the past two days to hear from him but it has been in vain.
Derek doesn't want to get a call if he would be invited to their wedding though
.He is not masochistic enough to appreciate that yet.
The sound of a buzzer breaks him from his musings.He picks up the phone only to
hear the voice of the person occupying his thoughts.
"Derek hey mm..Stiles here.Could you let me in please,"Stiles says.
"Yeah sure.Come on in."Derek is really not sure what to make of this impromptu
visit.But he sure as hell is excited to see Stiles.
The door opens and in comes the man of the moment.
"Hi.How is it hanging?"asks Stiles,looking around the apartment ,not meeting
Derek's eyes.
Derek is too surprised to see Stiles alone in his space to reply to the
ridiculous question really.
Hence resulting in an awkward moment where Stiles is not meeting Derek's eyes
and Derek can't take his eyes off of him.
Finally Derek breaks the silence,"Stiles,why are you really here?"
Stiles stops fidgeting, looking all around and faces him.Squaring his shoulders
as if he has reached a resolution he looks deep into Derek's eyes and the next
thing he knows the are kissing. It is not a kiss of passion but one of
longing,where they are trying to close off the distance of the last few years
with the meeting of tongues and lips.Derek can't breathe but he can't stop
kissing Stiles.If this were his last moment he knows he would die
happily.Stiles has his hands in his hair ,caressing it.His own hands are at
Stiles waist trying to map out the man he has become just by touching him. When
it becomes apparent that Stiles can't actually breathe,Derek breaks away and
looks at him.His kiss swollen lips and his flushed cheeks make him look as
beautiful as he was when they first made love.He is searching Derek's eyes for
something.For what though?All he has ever felt for the man is love and he can't
bring himself to regret it.Is Stiles regretting it?But why would he..?
Probably because he has a fiancée.
Derek jumps apart from him and looks at him accusingly."What is wrong wth you
,you idiot?"he shouts.He is still week-kneed but he will not give Stiles the
satisfaction of knowing that.
"What's wrong with me?Why would anything be wrong with me?I kissed you and you
sure as hell kissed me back,Derek,"replies Stiles.
Derek can't believe Stiles can be so insensitive .The guy is going to get
married for heaven's sake."You know what just tell me why you are here and then
leave.I don't want to see your face right now,"he says acerbically.
Stiles clenches his jaw and says ruefully,"I am here because I wanted to see
your stupidly beautiful mug because I can't stop thinking about you.I have
missed you like crazy all these years and you never thought to contact your
pack even once.I managed to get your cell phone number from Scott's phone, by
the way he should really be creative in his passwords if he doesn't want me to
use his stuff.I called you so many times just to hear your bloody voice and
never found the courage to speak in turn.I am here because I want to know why
you left all of a sudden all those years back and didn't even feel the need to
tell me that you planned to drop off the face of the fucking planet,despite the
fact that we were sort of dating.I remember our time together and admittedly it
wasn't a fairy tale what with all the monsters and the weekly villain,wait a
sec well I guess it was a fairy tale ,just not the good kind.I am here because
I want to tell you what a fucking coward you are to leave people alone to
defend themselves when they needed you the most.How you deserted me when I was
really not in a good place and how things got worse than ever and we all lost
so much more than our own sanity.I am here because I am really burning to know
how the hell you managed to become a father and started working in a café dong
customer service when you don't even know how to crack a smile.I am here.."
"Stop.Just stop and take a breath Jesus Christ,"interrupts Derek,positive that
Stiles hasn't taken in a breath in his dramatic monologue.He doesn't know how
to explain himself to Stiles without giving everything away and really did he
have to annoy Derek with his stupid blank calls?.Annoying little shit.
So he does what he can in this situation:deflection."I will answer your
questions if you tell me why you kissed me when you already have a fiancée?"He
was actually rather upset with Stiles for having a fiancée in the first place.
"Fiancee?Who?"Stiles asks perplexed.
"Julliane,"Derek is positive his face is twisted in distaste despite his bets
efforts not to do so.
Stiles looks at him in a way that says you moron.
"What ?"he stupidly asks.
"Jules is my friend Derek we are not getting married.Paul will kill me if he
hears about that honestly.The guy is still jealous of me for no reason.I mean
the last time we kissed I was in high school,"babbles Stiles.
Derek scowls and gives him a frown to show his displeausure.
"Look we are really good friends since high school actually and yeah we were
together for a month in senior year but I never actually had any feelings for
her.She wanted to buy a wedding dress from New York and I came along because I
knew you were here and I hoped that I would meet you.Yeah I know it was rather
far fetched but then that is what hope is all about.I was too chicken to call 
but I was rather shocked to actually meet you and then I was speechless to see
your kid who you named after me for whatever reasons.Which feel free to explain
to me any time now,"Stiles finishes and looks at Derek with his brows raised in
question.
Derek smiles despite himself.Atleast Stiles is not getting married."Ok fine.One
more thing though how the hell did you find my address?"
Stiles looks sheepishly at him and mutters,"Nolan told me."
"You asked Nolan despite the fact that you had my number?"Derek knows his brows
are touching his hairline.He is beyond incredulity.
"I went back to the café to know about you two.I thought you were boyfriends
and then I caught him kissing his actual boyfriend and felt stupid.He told me
how wonderful you are as a friend and a person.I told him that we were good
friends in Beacon Hills and estranged now and how I planned to surprise you by
visiting you.He was quite accommodating as he thinks you need more friends in
your life.I really didn't plan to arrive without calling but I couldn't help
myself.Derek listen I came here to get answers but I want to admit something
that I have been wanting to get off my chest since you left four years
ago...Derek I love you ,always did ,always have and probably always
will,"Stiles whispers earnestly.
Derek can't hear a lie in his heartbeat but he won't rejoice just yet.He won't
let himself hope,just yet,not after everything he has been through.He wants
to get answers too."Is it now Stiles?Then why did you kiss another girl when we
were in a relationship?"
/
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     This is the end..
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Kissed another girl?What the fuck are you talking about?Also you impregnated a
girl soon after leaving so pot meet kettle.."Stiles sneers.
Derek's astounded by Stiles' sheer stupidity  blurts out without preamble,"I
was pregnant you fool.I gave birth to my child and you are the father.Happy
now?"
Stiles who was flailing his hands around has now become an ice statue.He looks
deep into Derek's eyes,opens is mouth,closes it and basically impersonates a
guppy fish for a few seconds.
Derek crosses his arms ,preparing for a battle.
"You..Me...pregnant?"Stiles is now pointing at Derek with a finger and his face
swiftly changes from utter disbelief to stormy anger. "Derek don't even ..if
you are joking I am going to kill you and if you are serious right now,I will
murder you,you fucking asshole,"Stiles shouts.
Derek flinches and wrings his hands.Who gave Stiles the right to be so angry
when it was he who suffered for so long?He didn't even try to reach Derek after
trying a few times,then why would he show such concern?He can't just barge in
whenever he wants with his declarations and demands.. "Yes it is no joke and I
was pregnant with your child and I didn't.."
"Derek..shut up.Now you listen to me and answer my questions.How did it
happen?Are you trans?"Stiles is radiating cold fury and speaks in a clipped
tone.
"What?No?You ass.It has something to do with being an alpha werewolf and
survival instincts of our species.I am a regular male as you well know and have
seen,"Derek replies thoroughly irritated now.
"Now tell me why the everloving fuck did you fail to inform me that I am a
father?"Stiles looks murderous now.
"Why I failed to tell you ..well maybe because the day I went to give you the
news I saw you kissing another girl and not even telling me you had a date with
her.Or maybe because all I ever had was destroyed in that godforsaken town.My
betas were dead, my pack was destructed ,my lover was an underage kid of the
sheriff and his best friend "the true alpha" wanted to be friends with the
people I hate.Yes I left because I was suffocating and I could not bear to
breathe in the air of Beacon fucking Hills.OK?"Derek has tears in his eyes
which he wipes at vigorously.
Stiles walks towards him and embraces him."Shh..I am sorry you had a shitty
life .Ok.But you are an idiot Der.I went on a date with Jules cause she liked
me and Scott knew about it.You were always reticent about our relationship and
avoided being caught so I didn't tell Scott as he was an idiot and he might
have informed dad.So I went just to appease him but she turned out to be a nice
girl.We had a good time even though I told her I was not interested.She was
dropping me off and she kissed me.I was taken by surprise but I pushed her
after sometime and told her off.We didn't talk for a few months after that.I
came to know the next day that you had left.Cora refused to talk to me
Der.Fucking Peter told me you were fed up with the place and you were bored of
me so you left.I didn't want to believe him but with time I started thinking
the same,"he says,all the while petting Derek soothingly.
"But why did you never try to see me in all these years Stiles?I missed you so
much and I realize I was being irrational and stupid now but I was so
insecure.You were a kid yourself and I didn't want to burden you with me and
our child.My mind was in a mess and I felt so lonely.You stopped trying to call
in a few months and once I called and some girl picked up,I was so angry
Stiles,so angry.I thought I was just an experimental partner for you who you
didn't mind getting rid of,"Derek feels miserable,all these years wasted
because he was a bloody coward and couldn't communicate to save his life.
"Derek you stupid lovable idiot.Did you love me then?"Stiles asks with hope in
his eyes
. "Yeah I did and I do,Stiles.I..I love you and my life was incomplete without
you...Our child has given me so much happiness but without you.. there was a
hole in my heart,"admits Derek.He is no good with words and he can't describe
how much he loves Stiles despite the years gone and the distance between them .
Stiles bites his lip and smiles wistfully,"Why didn't you tell me then.Why did
you not believe in me that I could love you too and I could take care of you
too.Why did you have to be so tight lipped about your emotions love?I was
immature ,I didn't know how you felt.I tried to get in touch but you never
replied Der.Peter's poisonous ramblings weren't helping either .Then in a few
months an evil fox spirit possessed me.Scott tried to call but you never
answered.We were alone against a deadly enemy Derek and I thought you had
abandoned me.I battled depression and loneliness.You left me Der you.."he sobs
and pulls Derek in to his arms almost painfully tight."You left me.Jules was
there for me then and we became good friends.She had feelings for me so I tried
to love her.But I couldn't..I couldn't love anyone but you,even when you
left.."he breaks out into sobs again.
He falls to his knees and Derek follows him.He will never be left alone
again,not if Derek can help it. Derek has silent tears running down his face
and he feels like the worst person on the planet.He kisses Stiles ,tears and
snot notwithstanding.How can he not?He is such a failure ,hating-loving Stiles
all this while,keeping him away from his own kid.He is so full of shit.He is
desperately kissing Stiles asking for forgiveness through his touch.But he
needs Stiles to know that he wasn't abandoned .He was always in Derek's mind
and his dreams.He breaks the kiss.
"Stiles,baby I am so sorry .I am so sorry.I didn't know.I..I know much time has
passed and we are not the same people anymore.I know it will be difficult but
if you can find it in your heart to forgive me I want to be with you.I want to
take care of you ,watch you play with our child and never leave you
alone,"Derek clutches Stiles to his chest ,not letting him move an inch. Stiles
moves from his chest and looks at him,holding his face in his hands, he says
one word that is going to change their lives,"Yes."
===============================================================================
Six months later
 
"Grampa.Grampa.See what papa got me?"Stiles J runs towards the sheriff who
scoops him up.His dads are following at a more sedate pace.
"What is it kochane?"he asks.He was stunned to meet a junior version of his son
a few weeks back.He was speechless perhaps that is why he couldn't scold Stiles
for his  carelessness and underage adventures. His doubts were cleared when he
saw his son in law and son together though as they were clearly made for each
other.The idiots got married in New York.But he can't complain because Stiles
is happier than he has ever been,Derek is not the spawn of the devil and Stiles
J,ie Stiles junior is cuter than his father had ever been.Also he is well
behaved and can be stoic and serious like his other dad.
"Batman meet Grampa.Grampa meet batman,"Stiles J is bursting with
excitement.Stiles had gotten him hooked on his favorite comic character and
presented him with his own collection of figurines.
"Hey dad,"Stiles smiles.His cheeks hurt cause he can't stop smiling these
days.His skin is red around his mouth and John feels a little faint.
"Hi Mr Stilinksi,"Derek is more reserved though he has a look of contentment
these days which rivals most weed smokers.It wasn't easy for Stiles J to accept
another father in his life what with the bad first impressions.But gradually
he realized what a goofball his papa actually was.Now it is difficult to keep
them away from each other for long. 
"Hello Derek .Call me John please,I have told you before .Hi Stiles,"John
greets them.
"We will leave now dad.We just came to drop him off.Gotta lot of work to
do,"Stiles says.
"Don't stress too much.Its your day off.Dinner with the Mccalls today right?"he
inquires.
"Yea we will be here by six John.Please don't give him any sugar in the
afternoon or he won't take a nap,"Derek ruffles Stiles J's head and bends down
to kiss him.Stiles does the same and they leave.
"First stop Walgreen,I gotta buy that banana flavored condom Der,"Stiles grins
at him.Ever since that night in New York of mutual confessions ,he has been
insatiable,experimenting sexually any way he can with his husband .He had only
ever been with Derek and years of pent up frustration was being released like
an exploding volcano now.Literally.Derek was secretly glad and felt vindicted
that Stiles and Jules hadn't shared more than a few kisses.It made facing her
easier and he didn't feel homicidal in her presence now.Much.
Even he hadn't gotten any release or human contact other than Eliza and Stiles
J so he really wasn't complaining.Just a little to tease Stiles.
"Whatever you want you sex fiend," Derek smirks,speeding up the car.
"I am red with stubble burn from head to toe,thank god dad didn't comment and
I am the sex fiend?"Stiles rubs Derek's thigh playfully.
"OK I am a whore for you?Happy?"Derek looks sideways at Stiles who is
speechless. Achievement unlocked.
"We have to go to the farmer's market first otherwise I won't get fresh produce
.And you know I gotta win this week's cook off with Scott.I can't bear his
gloating,"Derek says solemnly.Scott,Kira and Mrs McCall join them for dinner
once a week.Scott thinks of himself as a better cook than Derek which sparked
his competitive spirit resulting in a weekly cook off.
Derek has been winning which makes him smug at times.Stiles loves it.
They have a little house near the preserve and Derek is pregnant again.
Stiles loves it,oh yes he does.
"Whatever you say honey."
 
 
Chapter End Notes
     I love all you ppl who read the story.It was my first foray into
     writing and I really enjoyed the experience immensely.I appreciate
     all your comments,even though I didn't reply to all cause I can be a
     moody bitch sometimes.
      
     Gratitude.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!