Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/497831.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Sirius_Black/Remus_Lupin, Regulus_Black/Severus_Snape
  Character:
      Sirius_Black, Remus_Lupin, James_Potter, Peter_Pettigrew, Severus_Snape,
      Regulus_Black, Lily_Evans
  Additional Tags:
      Mpreg, Anal_Sex, Sexual_Content, Explicit_Sexual_Content, Rough_Sex, Oral
      Sex, Underage_Sex, Drunk_Sex, Sex, Male_Homosexuality
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-08-28 Updated: 2013-06-20 Chapters: 6/? Words: 60970
****** With You ******
by SuperxPrettyxKitty
Summary
     Their fifth year at Hogwarts gets off to a rocky start when Remus
     desperately tries to get Sirius' attention and impress him, during
     their first drinking session he over does it and ends up in bed with
     Sirius soon coming to regret what had happened he tries to put it
     behind him. Little does Remus know it's only just begun he will have
     to face the music sooner than expected. MPREG
***** Prologue *****
It had to be done.
He knew he was probably going crazy for even thinking it, he knew it was almost
impossible but he just had to do it. He knew he was going to embarrass himself,
screw up and end up burying his head in the sand for the rest of the school
year but everything was worth trying once.
It was Thursday evening and Remus sat alone on his bed in the Gryffindor tower
simply holding a book in his hands, not reading it, just merely looking so he
had an excuse not to talk to his friends, or worse, be asked questions as per
usual.
"No Wormtail I am not helping you with your homework again today, you were
supposed to finish it a week ago why didn't you bother then?" James' voice
echoed loudly around the room.
"But James!" Peter protested his voice a pathetic whine.
"No go and bother someone else" James growled flipping over the pages in his
magazine.
"Sirius?" Peter asked hopefully turning to the tallest of the four Marauder's
lounging across his bed topless with his hands behind his head.
"No way" Sirius frowned.
"Moony?" Peter asked turning his attention on the werewolf. Remus sighed
inwardly pretending he hadn't heard anything careful to bury his nose in his
book.
"Remus!" Peter said suddenly sounding frustrated.
"What?" he asked pretending to be thoroughly oblivious to their conversation.
"Will you please help me with my homework?" Peter pleaded.
"Sorry Pete I'm just too tired tonight" Remus sighed closing his book and
resting it on his bedside table. He was already wearing his pyjamas and thought
that right now would probably be the most appropriate time to get into bed.
"Fine then... FINE!" Peter said angrily storming out of the dormitory and
heading down into the common room. No doubt he would cool off, write a couple
of inches on his essay and be back up in an hour or so, it wasn't even late.
Remus did feel bad for not helping him but right now his mind was elsewhere and
he was too confused and too annoyed to spend time with him.
Sighing he slipped under his warm, inviting bed covers and settled down into
the comfy bed closing his eyes.
"Are you really going to sleep now it's only ten?" James asked.
"I'm sleepy I don't like staying up too late" the werewolf grumbled.
"Oh Moony you're such an old woman" Sirius teased.
Remus gritted his teeth pulling the covers up over his head. He hadn't been
able to face Sirius all day, all week in fact ever since Saturday night. He
sighed allowing the memory of waking up to sticky sheets after vivid, such
explicit dreams of a certain long haired, grey eyed Gryffindor heart throb.
Why did it have to be me? Remus thought to himself as he pulled the drapes shut
around his bed. These things could happen to anyone, what were the odds they
could happen to me? But of course, they would. Surely this wasn't normal waking
up from such sexual dreams of your best friend nor was catching yourself
fanaticising about one of the boys you had spent the past coming on five years
as friends with.
Maybe it would all go away, it was probably just one of those weird effects of
the dream, yes most likely. These things probably happened to all teenage boys,
well not all but some. Remus had heard about two men being in a relationship
together even having sexual relations in fact he'd seen it with his very own
eyes, there were a few of them in the castle. Of course he didn't have anything
against it, it seemed quite normal to Remus, it was normal to the vast majority
of the Wizarding World too which was a good thing. Dumbledore himself was gay
although he didn't make a public display of it like some people did.
Maybe it was normal after all. No, it couldn't be he was straight he liked
girls! Remus clenched his eyes shut tightly wishing it all would go away or
perhaps just fix itself so he was normal again, yes, that would be nice.
But how could he really be sure he liked girls anyway? He'd never had a
girlfriend, never even had his first kiss. Yes, fifteen years old and Remus
John Lupin hadn't kissed a single person in his entire life.
But there was no denying it and he knew that, it was fun to pretend that he
wasn't having these thoughts, that someone had hexed him stupid and it was some
weird side effect or that it would wear off with time it was just a case of
over charged hormones.
Curse Testosterone Remus thought bitterly.
Oh who was he trying to kid? He knew there was nothing he could do. He'd been
stealing glances for a while now, he caught himself watching Sirius in class,
thought about him far more than he should have considering they were just
friends.
"I fancy him" Remus whispered to himself. "There I said it, I fancy Sirius
Black"
Could he ever tell him? Yes, he would have to just to get this out of his
system it was eating Remus up inside. Keeping secrets especially from his
friends hurt, even if it was personal Remus felt as though he was cheating the
only people who ever liked him for who he was, he felt as though he was hurting
their feelings without even meaning to.
It was settled then. If this... small fascination got any worse then Remus
would tell him, he would admit his feelings to Sirius. He knew he didn't ever
stand a chance getting anything in return but it was well worth the shot and
probably worth the humiliation and shame he would feel afterwards when Sirius
told him he just wasn't interested.
Sirius Black was the heart throb of the school, the one all the girls (and
apparently some boys not including Remus himself) fancied. Sirius was often
asked on dates by girls, the majority of the time he rejected them or he would
go somewhere simple and hang out of sit with her at lunch just the two of them.
But never boys, never the male student's, Remus had definitely taken note of
that. Sirius was one hundred percent straight and it was completely unfair.
Forcing the confusing thoughts from his head, Remus settled down to sleep.
Maybe he would feel better about this in the morning.
When the next morning did arrive however, Remus still felt exactly the same. He
was up, washed and dressed by the time the others were crawling lazily out of
bed.
"Bloody hell, Moony how can you stand to be up so early?" Sirius groaned as he
slouched past him into the bathroom.
"Because I go to bed at a reasonable time" Remus chuckled.
He sat and waited for the other's to get ready before they all headed down to
breakfast laughing and chatting as usual. James slung his arm playfully around
Sirius' shoulders and Peter was bouncing along beside them determined to be
involved. Remus still felt no better about the whole Sirius situation, he
wanted to confess it all to him, to take the beating or the shouting or worse,
the horribly disgusted or disappointed look in Sirius' eyes. He couldn't live
with himself anymore but maybe just having a little play with it wouldn't do
any harm first. After all, he'd never had any attention before and it would be
nice to get some for a change before his revelation would destroy everything.
They were sitting at the breakfast table when the post arrived and Sirius was
roaring with laughter over something James was messing about with.
Remus took his envelope from the owl's beak tearing it open a piece of
parchment fell out from his parents along with a small amount of money. Remus
felt embarrassed going into Hogsmeade sometimes, he never really had much money
and any money he did have he didn't like to spend in case there was something
he really wanted later. Remus' family were quite poor and there weren't many of
them left, his grandparents died back in second year, he had no aunties or
uncles, cousins or otherwise it was just the three of them, they were half-
blood and lived in the countryside to accommodate for Remus' Lycanthropy, both
his mother and father worked but they didn't earn much. It was hard for Remus
seeing two of his pureblood friends being able to buy anything they wanted and
enjoy their wealth, even Peter who was only half had quite a bit more money
than Remus did and it made him feel inadequate. He wasn't jealous at all he
just felt a bit left out and down trodden by it sometimes.
"I'll tell you what guys, Lily Evans looks stunning today, when she wears her
hair up like that with the little bow... wow!" James grinned nodding off down
the table to where Lily sat.
"Don't get me wrong mate she's nice and all but I'm not into gingers" Sirius
commented.
James blinked unable to understand why anyone wouldn't think Lily was
absolutely lovely. "Oh? Then what are you into?"
"Mm I like me a nice blonde"
Remus looked down at his plate, he shouldn't blush over this, he really
shouldn't even think anything of it but he couldn't help it, he was a blonde.
He knew in reality Sirius was talking about women but he could fantasies a
little couldn't he?
"Moony you're a bit quiet this morning, everything okay?" James asked nodding
to Remus.
"Oh yeah I'm fine" he lied.
"So listen guys, I've managed to pull on my magic strings and nick us a bit of
booze, tonight we'll lock ourselves in the dormitory and have a bit of a piss
up, how's that sound?" James grinned excitedly.
"No way you seriously haven't got alcohol" Sirius grinned excitedly.
"Sirius my friend, I am being very serious" James grinned.
"You sure this is a good idea?" Remus quirked an eyebrow worriedly, he did not
fancy getting in trouble if they were caught, stealing, breaking into Hogsmeade
and getting drunk on school premises? How many months worth of detention would
that add up to? Remus shuddered at the mere thought.
"Remus my friend this is a brilliant idea, probably the best Prongs here has
ever had" Sirius grinned proudly.
"Here, here!" Peter jeered.
"Yeah Moony come on and join us" James laughed. "You'll be okay we'll have fun"
Remus hesitated a moment.
"Oh come on, Remus don't be such a spoil sport, pleeeaaase?" Sirius pouted his
bottom lip out looking at Remus in such a way that made him fall in love all
over again.
"Okay fine I'll join you" he sighed, hating the fact he could be defeated by
such a simple gesture. "But we aren't to leave the dormitory, or get in
trouble"
"Fine, fine" James waved him off. "I am so excited this is going to be so
fucking cool!"
For the rest of the day, Remus heard nothing but talk of what was going on that
evening. In potions they had all sat around the same table.
"So what did you get for us then?" Peter asked gazing at James with sickening
admiration.
"Well Peter, I got us a little bottle of Firewhiskey, four bottles of red
currant rum, couple of little bottles of malt whiskey, nettle mead and wine"
James said proudly although he was being careful to keep his voice down.
"We are gonna get pissed as fuck" Sirius grinned excitedly. "I aint had a drink
since I nicked some of my dads last summer"
Remus watched Sirius closely out of the corner of his eye, maybe this was a way
to win Sirius over. Maybe if he could just get a bit drunk and show Sirius he
was up for having some fun, maybe if he really made an effort and joined in
despite the fact he thought it was wrong he could score some serious bonus
points with the raven haired boy.
"You inviting the girls?" Peter asked.
"No Wormtail, if I invite them they might tell old McGonagall and she'll string
us up by our bollocks" James frowned angrily. "And don't you even think about
asking them!"
"Not even Lily?" Sirius smirked.
"No" James hissed glancing across the classroom to where the redhead was
sitting with her friends.
"Just us boys, boys night in tonight!" Sirius grinned excitedly. "Thank fuck
for Friday, eh?"
"Boys are you actually doing any work over here?" Slughorn asked sweeping over
to see them, he glanced down at the half page of parchment Remus had managed to
write and smiled seemingly rather impressed. "Well I don't know how the rest of
you are managing to slack so much when Mister Lupin has managed to write so
much, well done Remus" he patted him gently on the shoulder before wandering
off to see if the girls needed any help.
"Ooh mister perfect, Moony" James teased.
"Teachers pet" Peter laughed.
"The golden good boy" Sirius smirked playfully.
Remus just smiled weakly and looked away, he wasn't sure whether or not that
was a good thing in Sirius' eyes. Maybe he would have to try a new approach to
school life.
By next lesson Remus had already begun plotting. Maybe he wouldn't actually
have to tell Sirius about his feelings for him, maybe he could just win him
over. Yes that's what he would try and if it failed miserably he would just
tell him straight out.
Closing his eyes in a long slow blink he placed his wand on the table and
started to write the theory in Defence Against The Dark Arts, his favourite
subject.
Finally by the time the end of the day did actually arrive the boys headed off
to dinner in high spirits.
"Hey look Sirius there's your little brother" James pointed over to where
Regulus was walking into the great hall alone.
"Oi faggot!" Sirius shouted delight washing over his face.
Remus cringed at the use of that word.
Regulus seemed to pause mid-step but continued to walk.
"Hey I'm talking to you!" Sirius shouted again striding towards his little
brother.
This time Regulus did stop and he turned his hand hovering over the pocket in
his school robes debating on whether or not to whip it out and attack his
brother.
Sirius stopped only a mere couple of feet away from Regulus. "Alright there
little brother?"
Regulus didn't say anything he just eyed the group of boys warily. "What do you
want from me, Sirius?" he asked, failing to hide the nervousness in his voice.
Sirius threw his head back and barked a laugh. "Now why would you assume that
just because I wanted to talk to you that I want something from you?"
"Because usually when you talk to me you do something horrible to me" Regulus
said quietly.
"Aww he's afraid" James laughed.
"I'm not afraid of the likes of you!" Regulus snarled.
"Hehe, aww is little Reggie afraid his mean big brother might tease him?"
Sirius pouted a little smirking nastily at Regulus. The younger boy just
wrinkled his nose with distaste and straightened himself up.
"Fuck off, Sirius"
Sirius shook his head and laughed. "Come on guys let's leave this little shit
and go get something to eat"
They turned to march on past Regulus, as Sirius pushed by he slammed into
Regulus' side throwing him roughly to the ground and just kept on walking.
Remus turned to look back over his shoulder, he felt awful for not saying
anything or trying to stop Sirius, the hurt expression on Regulus' little face
only made his worse. He obviously really looked up to his brother.
After dinner they went straight up to hang about in the common room for a while
before they went upstairs, it was after all Friday night and they were planning
to stay up until Merlin knows what hour drinking and having a laugh.
"Anyone fancy doing a bit of work on the map tomorrow?" James said quietly as
they all lounged on the sofa by the fire.
"I'm in" Sirius said.
"Me too" said Remus.
"Me three" Peter chimed in.
"That is" Sirius chuckled. "If we aren't too hung over to work on it"
"Oh Padfoot my friend, you are good for a laugh" James grinned. He glanced up
at the clock, his grin only spreading further across his handsome face. "It's
time boys, let's go up there and have some fun"
"Yeah now we're talking!" Sirius grinned.
Remus got up nervously and followed them into the dormitory, he kicked the door
shut behind him and went to sit on his bed watching James fumble around under
his own bed before pulling out a large box grinning proudly at his loot.
"Blood hell we're gonna have some fun tonight! I love a good piss up" Sirius
grinned rubbing his hands together excitedly.
"Me too, Pads so pass around the nettle mead to kick us off then we can move
onto some of the harder stuff"
Remus sat perched nervously on his bed as James used his wand to levitate the
box to the centre of the room and lock the dormitory door. James, Peter and
Sirius all dropped down on the rug grinning excitedly.
"Come on then Remus, you joining us or what?" Sirius said.
"Sure" Remus nodded making his way over and sitting between Sirius and Peter.
James handed them out a large goblet each and placed all the bottles and such
in the centre throwing the box aside.
"Help yourselves boys, let's get this party started"
Sirius was the first to grab the nettle mead and pour himself a generous
helping before handing it over to Peter, James had started on the wine but
Remus couldn't wait for stuff like that, if he was going to do this and get
Sirius' attention he was going to do it properly. So Remus went straight for
the Firewhiskey pouring himself a decent amount he pulled it to his lips, the
hot scent burning his nostrils. Closing his eyes he put his lips to the goblet
and took a deep gulp, the warm, fiery liquid burning at his throat, he grimaced
and hissed forcing it down.
"Bloody hell, Moony I thought you weren't all that eager to do this" Sirius
quirked an eyebrow as he gulped at his drink.
"Oh I'm eager alright" Remus said sipping carefully at is drink, a light rush
to his head told him he'd probably drank it too quickly. He'd never been drunk
before and felt very nervous yet slightly excited to try it for the first time.
"Just be careful" James chuckled already pouring his second glass of wine.
"Now, onto the conversation"
An hour later and Remus was feeling very happy, very sluggish and very dizzy.
He sat hiccoughing pouring himself some wine this time, he'd drank half a
bottle of Firewhiskey, two goblets of nettle mead, and a bottle of rum.
"I tell ya, those where the best tits I ever thought I saw" James grinned
lazily sipping at his own Firewhiskey.
"Nice one mate, nice one" Sirius grinned proudly over the top of a goblet of
wine.
Another hour went by and Peter was on his feet singing using his bedframe as
support, James was lying on the floor, Sirius was sitting on his bed and Remus
(now in a state) was trying to get to his feet but it wasn't working very well.
"Oh Merlin's balls I think I need to go for a walk and get some air, what do
you reckon Peter?" James slurred a little. He wasn't actually too drunk just
tipsy and he seemed alright, Peter wasn't that bad but he was swaying around a
little.
"I think we should be very, very, very quiet" Peter laughed. "Because if we see
the girls and grab them by the boobies old McGonagall might get jealous"
James threw his head back and laughed rolling around on the floor. "Let's go
get us some boobies then, you coming Moony or Padfoot?"
"Nah I'm gonna stay here" Sirius slurred.
Remus couldn't even manage a reply, he slipped trying to get up and fell flat
on his side sprawled across the floor by his bed.
"Take that as a no then, you two don't fall out the window or puke on my bed
because when I get back I'm gonna love ya" James laughed pointing his wand
lazily at the door and unlocking it.
He slung his arm around Peter and they sauntered out slamming the door behind
them laughing out into the corridor.
Remus was still lying on the floor feeling dizzy but great, he knew he'd
probably had too much but he didn't even care right now. Footsteps approached
and Sirius kneeled down in front of him, he was drunk but nothing like the
state Remus was in.
"Come on Remus we'd better get you into bed you can't sleep there" Sirius said
hoisting Remus into a sitting position.
"You can get me into bed if you want to" Remus slurred a lazy grin across his
face. "You can get me anywhere I'm up for anything"
Sirius laughed and managed to pull Remus to his feet, they swayed around a
little before Sirius swung him round and slumped Remus onto the bed. He was
already in his school shirt and trousers which was useful cause he could either
undress easily or sleep like that. "You okay?" Sirius grinned.
Remus nodded giggling like a school girl. "Come here I want to tell you
somethin'" Remus breathed grabbing hold of Sirius and pulling him backwards on
top of Remus on his bed. "Shhhhhhhh" he whispered then started laughing again.
"I'm lying on top of you like actually on top... of... Moony" Sirius couldn't
quite make out what he was trying to say.
"Yeah and I want you to fuck me" Remus growled playfully.
"You want me to fuck you do you?" Sirius smirked raising one eyebrow blinking
slowly.
"I want you to get naked, get me naked cause I don't think I can take my
clothes off right now, and then fuck me" Remus slurred trying to hold back his
laughter.
When Sirius didn't say anything, Remus tried again. "Come on it's an easy free
fuck, not gonna pass it up cause it's me are ya?"
"No but I ent as drunk as you right now Moonsy" Sirius laughed. "I got
something that help you not lose your virginity that we can fuck with" he
slurred lazily. "I'mma go get it"
He slipped off of Remus practically falling off the bed he staggered, laughing
over to his own and opened the bedside table drawer. Moments later he fell back
on top of Remus and the pair of them burst into fits of laughter.
"I got a secret stolen potion that will make you all magical" Sirius whispered
teasingly making Remus laugh. "You drink it and I fuck you in a hole that'll
close over in a few days or something and you won't lose your virginity" Sirius
laughed. "I don't have any infections or anything I'm nice and pure"
"Long as I get a fuck from you I don't care" Remus slurred. Sirius handed him
the potion and helped him sit up enough to gulp it down before he tossed the
empty bottle away and pulled Sirius in for a sloppy kiss, his first.
Remus had no idea what was going on right now, he couldn't understand what he
was doing, he didn't care, he loved Sirius and he was getting to have it off
with him, right now nothing else mattered but this.
"Let's fuck all night long" Sirius moaned.
A sudden pain tore through Remus' stomach and he gasped against Sirius' lips.
"You'll be fine in a minute" Sirius laughed stripping himself as accurately as
he could in his present state before turning to strip a hissing, sore Remus.
A minute or so passed and the pain subsided, Remus opened his eyes grinning up
into Sirius' face. "You can put it in any hole" he slurred.
"I'll shove my dick deep inside you Remus" Sirius slurred closing one eye to
try and focus his vision.
Remus lay back naked, his legs spread wide open on the bed as Sirius climbed on
top of him, he barely had time to register what was happening before he was
being thrust into. He cried out with pleasure and surprise unsure of what to
make of this, it definitely wasn't his arse it was something that definitely
shouldn't have been there.
It was all a blur of lips, tongue, sharp angles and sweaty bodies rocking
together. Their voices echoing so loud they bounced off the walls, maybe it
wasn't so loud, maybe they just thought it was. Remus had no idea what in the
name of Merlin was going on right now but it felt good. Just a few more thrusts
later and Sirius was coming deep inside of Remus.
"Fuck yes" Sirius panted slumping forward over Remus' body, the werewolf having
come only a moment before hand between them soaking them both in his seed.
They lay like that for some time before finally Sirius mustered the strength to
roll off and lie beside Remus closing his eyes.
Remus had no idea what he was doing, what he had just done, he felt brilliant,
out of this world, he didn't even feel like himself, he could hardly see
anything but right now all he wanted to do was sleep. Yanking up the covers he
rolled onto his stomach and drifted off.
It wasn't until some hours later when Remus woke lying sprawled on his back in
the pitch black. He groaned his head was pounding, his stomach churning, he
felt fucking dreadful. He made a meagre clap and the wall torches around the
room lit. "Hooray for magic" he grumbled dimly. Frowning he tried to remember
what had happened last night. The alcohol, Peter's god awful singing, James
laughing on the floor and Sirius-
Oh sweet Merlin!
Remus sat bolt upright throwing himself at the toilet coughing and spluttering
violently into the basin emptying his horribly uncomfortable stomach contents.
Slowly he sat back on his heels wiping his mouth on a bit of tissue. He'd slept
with Sirius. He couldn't believe it, he had woken lying stark naked on the
bathroom floor, on his own, throwing his guts up. He felt so ill, why did he
have to do that and ruin everything? He only wanted to impress Sirius to
disgrace and embarrass himself, he'd ruined his first kiss, he'd ruined
everything, possibly even his friendship with Sirius. Remus groaned grabbing a
clean towel from the rack and falling onto the bathroom rug slighting the towel
over his hips to cover his genitals. He really couldn't handle all this shit
today.
When Sirius woke the morning sunlight was spilling over the bed, slowly his
eyes cracked open and he gazed across the dormitory frowning in confusion. This
wasn't what his bed view normally looked like...
And that's when it hit him. Slowly he sat up rubbing his tired eyes, a dull
ache in his head reminded him of how much he'd had to drink last night and the
fact he was sitting naked in Remus' bed reminded him of exactly what he'd done.
"Oh shit..." he breathed.
"Shit indeed"
Sirius' head snapped up as he looked worriedly into James' face.
"What the fuck did you do last night when Peter and I were gone?"
Sirius groaned flopping back down against the pillows. "You don't wanna
know..."
James rolled his eyes. "Where's Remus?"
Sirius glanced to the empty space next to him then around the dorm, Peter was
lying sprawled on his bed with an ice pack on his forehead. "Probably in the
bathroom, think he fell out of bed in the night"
James sighed and marched across the dormitory, thank god he hadn't drank
anywhere near the same amount the others had, especially Remus. He knocked
quietly on the door earning a loud groan of anger from Peter before he
carefully pushed the door open.
The wall torches were still lit as his eyes fell upon Remus' sleeping form
lying by the toilet with a towel over his crotch, otherwise stark naked. James
sighed, he felt partly responsible for this.
He headed over to Remus and knelt down beside him wrinkling his nose with
disgust, the smell of vomit was wafting through the air making him want to gag.
He reached out and shook Remus awake.
"Moony come on time to get up you can't sleep there" James said.
Remus' eyes opened and he groaned with frustration and pain. "Sleepy..."
"You've been here naked and cold for I don't know how long, time to get up,
come on I'll help you get cleaned up and back into bed" James offered. He
carefully lifted Remus up trying not to look at the fact he'd been lying in a
pool of his own vomit, his skin was grey and dark circles appeared under his
eyes. "You look a right state, mate" he shook his head.
"I feel like absolute shit" Remus groaned.
"You gonna be sick again?"
Remus shook his head and regretted it immediately wincing in pain.
"Good" he led Remus over to the sink, running the taps he took Remus' blue
flannel and soaked it before gently wiping the sick from his face. When he was
doing he threw it in the wash basket before guiding Remus (Still clutching his
towel) back into the dormitory.
Peter was still lying on the bed but Sirius had gotten up and crawled into his
own bed curled up sleeping under his cover. Remus couldn't even look at him
right now for the shame he felt. He allowed James to put him into his bed and
toss the covers over him, conjuring the bucket from the corner of the room he
left it by Remus' bedside and filled his glass with water. Normally he wouldn't
want to mop up another person's sick, put his friends to bed or look after
them, especially not irresponsible, lazy Sirius or Peter but he didn't mind so
much with Remus, the poor boy was doing this for attention or for some unknown
reason from the start, that was obvious, he was the one who supplied the drinks
and allowed Remus to get himself absolutely hammered and into this state so he
had to take care of him for now.
"If you wanna puke do it in the bucket, I'll go get some pepper up potion from
Madame Pomfrey, gonna lie and say I think you have a cold"
"Get me some" Peter said loudly.
"Alright mate" James called pulling Remus' drapes closed and heading out of the
dormitory. "I can't believe we've only been back a week and something like this
has already happened..." he muttered to himself.
That evening Remus woke for the last time, he hadn't eaten or drank anything
all day. He had however woken feeling sick and vomited violently quite a few
times throughout the day until he could hold something down long enough to take
his pepper up potion. Someone had also pulled back his bed curtains at some
point in the day, Remus was still partially drunk until lunch time and had no
idea what was going on.
He felt a little better now, the nausea was gone and his headache had gone too
he just felt rough and tired. Yawning he sat up slowly rubbing his tired eyes.
"Good morning sleepy head" Sirius smiled brightly from the next bed over.
"Morning?!" Remus was startled.
Sirius laughed. "It isn't really morning it's like seven o lock at night" the
dark haired Gryffindor replied.
Remus felt horribly embarrassed and uncomfortable. How could he have been so
stupid, disgusting and embarrassing? Did he have no respect for himself? Was
there even such a thing as self respect when you were in love? He sighed and
lay down on his side facing away from Sirius.
The rest of the weekend, Remus spent in the dormitory. James had brought him up
some food as he was still recovering and by Sunday evening he was back on his
feet feeling fully normal again. He seriously regretted everything he'd done,
he couldn't even look Sirius in the eye, how could he have been so stupid?!
Remus was so angry, upset and disappointed with himself right now he hoped to
Godric he would get over this soon and maybe if Sirius was mad, forgive him. He
didn't seem angry or upset from what Remus had seen of him and admittedly it
wasn't a lot, Sirius was at least making the effort to be civil and nice to
him.
"Moony are you feeling better now?" Peter asked sitting amongst the piles of
his late homework on his bed as usual.
"Yeah thanks much better" Remus said running his fingers through his silky
blonde hair. He only hoped Sirius had kept quiet about what happened, he didn't
want the others thinking he was dirty as well.
"Any chance of getting some help with this homework then?"
"Sure, Pete" Remus said getting up and shuffling over to Peter's bed to sit
down. At least this would take his mind off of everything.
By the time Monday morning arrived, Remus felt no better about what happened.
He was so upset, angry and confused he didn't even know where to begin with
this. Should he try for Sirius' attention again but in a better way? Should he
play his cards low and take it easy for a while or should he full on confront
Sirius about what happened, his own words still ringing in his ears-
"Come on it's an easy free fuck, not gonna pass it up cause It's me are ya?"
Remus cringed and shuddered at those words, he couldn't believe he'd actually
said something like that and to one of his best friends of all people? Alcohol
did strange things to people and if Remus was certain about one thing it was
that he was never, EVER drinking again.
The four boys headed down to the great hall for breakfast some time after
eight, James had slung his arm casually around Sirius' shoulders in a way they
always did, Peter was standing laughing between Remus and James, thankfully it
was a great enough distance to keep himself from making eye contact with
Sirius, he couldn't bare the thought of a stare after everything that happened.
Had Sirius thought about it, did he even care? After all Remus had explicitly
stated it was an easy fuck, maybe Sirius had just taken advantage of him.
Remus sighed inwardly as they dropped into their usual seats at the Gryffindor
table. At least he got something from Sirius even if that was all he had and
all he would ever get. Surely if Sirius did like him he would have said
something now unless he was playing it safe like Remus. No, this was Sirius
Black he was always up front and personal about things, he wouldn't hide it
especially not from one of his friends. Sirius had no shame what so ever about
anything.
"Alright there, Evans?" James called as Lily came strolling past the table with
her two friends in tow.
"Good morning, Potter" she said stiffly moving quickly down the table to get as
far away from James as possible. James turned to watch as she sat down and
straightened herself upright seemingly peering over the heads of other students
to the table opposite. Her face spread into a grin and her hand shot into the
air waving at someone.
James' eyes narrowed. "Snape" he hissed nastily his fingers curling around the
edge of the table, he rather closely resembled a predatory cat ready to pounce
on his prey.
"Hey mate just leave it they're only friends, nothing more" Sirius shrugged.
"I don't care she's too good for him" said James. "Far too good, he doesn't
deserve to breathe the same air as her"
Remus tried to ignore the conversation as he tucked into his first proper meal
since Friday, he couldn't be bothered with any shit today, not after the
weekend he'd had. Normally he would be annoyed or disappointed in James for
bullying Snape for no other reason than simply because he existed, normally he
would disapprove of Peter cheering them on, and normally he would be saddened
by the way Sirius would no doubt treat his brother again today, but for once in
his life he was grateful for the attention to be on someone else rather than
him.
For the rest of the day there was no other mention of the weekend, Remus had
carefully avoided Sirius in lessons, he had kept his head down and focused
solely on his work so as not to catch his eye or give any reason to strike up
conversation, he was sure to hang back a little to pretend to find something he
urgently needed to talk to the teachers about.
Whether his friends had noticed anything suspicious about his behaviour or not
wasn't clear, but Remus was sure Sirius would know even if he acted like
nothing was different between them, and that hurt.
That evening when Remus climbed into bed he sighed pulling his drapes shut
around the bed and snuggling down under his bed covers. Maybe in a few days
this would all blow over, maybe soon enough, hopefully tomorrow even he would
wake up and feel like nothing had happened, like it had all been a dream.
"Maybe I can just put all of this behind me" he breathed closing his soft blue
eyes slowly. "Maybe Sirius will go on pretending like nothing has happened"
It wasn't long before Remus had drifted off to sleep wishing all of this would
just fade away and they could be normal again. Little did he know, this was
only the beginning of something big...
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Two weeks had passed since it happened and Remus had hardly spoken to Sirius.
At meal times he refused to make eye contact and during lessons if Sirius did
so happen to sit next to him he'd hardly talk or try to include James and Peter
as well. Remus couldn't bear to look at the boy let alone speak to him. Every
time he thought about what happened, a new wave of shame washed over him, he
couldn't believe he'd done such a thing and Sirius didn't seem to give a damn.
Through the hazy memories of that night, Remus could distinctly remember that
the sex was nothing it meant nothing to Sirius and Remus figured he was just
lucky for it to happen to him. Remus was so happy he hadn't full on given his
virginity to Sirius, not because he didn't want to but because Sirius obviously
wasn't that into him, he hadn't mentioned what happened or even looked at Remus
differently and the werewolf knew that Sirius would obviously remember such a
thing.
Try as he might, Remus just couldn't put this behind him sure it had only been
two weeks since they'd done it but even then that should be sufficient enough
time to start getting over it but he just couldn't. He loved Sirius and it hurt
they couldn't be together, he' briefly thought about admitting his feelings to
his friend in hopes that even if Sirius did say no that it might put him off
getting a girlfriend for a while just so he didn't hurt Remus. Remus wanted
Sirius all to himself he didn't want some nasty little hussy taking his love
away from him that would hurt more than anything else.
"Who thinks we should break into Honeydukes cellar tonight?" Sirius suggested
eagerly during potions that afternoon.
"I'm in" James grinned.
"Me too" Peter squeaked.
"Remus?" said Sirius.
Remus didn't look at him but nodded anyway. "Yeah I'm up for it" in truth he
wasn't he thought it was wrong and unfair on the shop keepers whom spent time,
effort and money on the things they broke in and stole but right now he could
care less, even if he couldn't face him properly just yet, Remus was still
craving attention from the raven haired Gryffindor.
That evening after dinner they all sat around the fireplace in the common room
discussing their plans.
"I think we should go through the one eyed witch passageway, into the store
room in the cellar and swipe as much as we can then bring it all back and have
a feast" James said grinning madly.
"I agree but if we take too much how will we get it all back?" Peter frowned.
"We could use the cloak" Remus pointed.
"We can't all fit under that with a bunch of loot too" James said. "We may need
to go in twos I'll go with Pete and Sirius you go with Remus"
Remus tensed up, he wouldn't have agreed to go if he knew he'd be paired with
Sirius for something like this he couldn't bare the awkward tension between
them. Their friendship was probably ruined and it was all his fucking fault.
"Fine by me" Sirius shrugged nonplussed.
"What time are we leaving?"
"We'll go at eleven thirty gives us time to get down there and plenty of time
to get back nobody will be awake by then we just have to watch out for the
Prefects on their rounds tonight, Remus who's on?"
"Umm I think it's the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw's" Remus said.
"Whatever they're push over's" James laughed. "We should have no trouble then"
They waited until it was time to go before James snatched the cloak and the
four of them huddled under it, Remus had stuck his Prefects badge on just in
case. Bending their knees a little they hurried off out of the common room and
down to the bottom floor winding their way through the corridors until they
reached the one eyed witch statue.
Checking nobody was there they slipped from beneath the cloak, Sirius pulled
out his wand and tapped it against the statue. It opened revealing a stairway
down into the passageway. Carefully the four of them slipped through, James
shoved his cloak into the belt of his trousers as they closed the passage and
ran all the way into the Honeydukes cellar.
It took them approximately fifteen minutes to get there, carefully James opened
the hatch of the trap door and heaved himself up, checking the coast was clear
he stuck his arm down and yanked Remus up first, then Sirius. It took both
James and Sirius to heave Peter out of the hole, a small scuffle and they were
swiping the sweets from the store room being as quiet as possible in case the
owner woke up and heard them there.
"Shh Peter!" James hissed as Peter stumbled on a loose floorboard. "Come on
let's grab a few more bits and go we're making too much noise"
The sound of footsteps above them made all four of the boys freeze, their faces
washed with horror and that's when the panic set in.
The grabbed what they could and hurried down into the passage closing the
secret trap door right as the owner opened the door to the store room.
"Is someone down here?" he called.
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter waited with baited breath trying their best not
to laugh. There was no way they'd get caught now.
Only a couple of minutes passed and the owner disappeared back into the shop
they vaguely heard his footsteps passing up the stairs to his home above the
shop before they died away completely.
Remus breathed a hefty sigh of relief. "That was a close one"
"Yeah come on let's get back to the common room before something else happens"
James said.
"Agreed!" it was unanimous.
They hurried back along the passageway with their stolen loot, Remus felt bad
for doing it but at this moment he didn't care he'd done something normal, he'd
joined in with his friends and possibly earned a point or two with Sirius for
being like this. Now all they had to do was get back to the common room.
They slipped back through the statue huddled under the cloak.
"Sirius you're stepping on my heels!" James hissed angrily.
"There isn't enough room under here" Sirius whispered back.
"I'll walk out in the open" Remus said quickly. "I've got my badge if anyone
sees me they won't say anything"
"You sure?"
"Positive" Remus breathed. He slipped out from under the cloak burying the jar
of sweets he held in his bag he hurried alongside his friends even though he
couldn't see them he felt the brush of fabric on the side of his right hand
every so often.
A few minutes passed and they managed to make it to the Gryffindor tower
undetected. Slipping into the common room the three boys yanked off the cloak
and were grinning madly.
"Yes! We made it again" James laughed.
"Well done guys" Sirius applauded. "How about we go upstairs and enjoy our
finds before someone realises what we're up to?"
"Now that is what I call a plan" James laughed slinging his arm around his
friends shoulders.
Remus smiled to himself and followed after them, maybe things would get better
from here on out.
Another week slowly rolled by and Remus and Sirius were still not on speaking
terms. Well, at least in Remus' eyes they weren't.
Remus hadn't been feeling himself this week he felt a bit out of it at first
he'd put it down to being depressed over what happened three weeks ago now but
the more time passed the more he started to think maybe he was getting ill or
something.
"Remus get up mate or you'll be late" James called loudly.
Remus groaned trying to force his eyes to open, he wasn't sure why but he felt
completely drained this morning even after nine hours of sleep.
"Moony!" James called throwing back the red drapes hanging around his bed.
"Come on didn't you hear me? It's quarter past eight!"
"Shit" Remus breathed. Without opening his eyes he forced himself to sit up.
"You haven't been drinking again have you?" James quirked an eyebrow, this
wasn't like Remus he was normally the first one up in the morning and he had on
occasion woken the other's up a little early to make sure they were ready on
time. Good boy Remus was now approaching borderline late.
"No of course I haven't" Remus yawned rubbing his tired eyes.
"Right well hurry up you've got ten minutes before we're leaving we can't wait
much longer we're starved"
"Yes okay I'm coming" Remus breathed as James turned and crossed back over the
other side of the dormitory.
Remus got up, shedding his pyjamas he mindlessly pulled on his clothes and
managed to put his cloak on inside out twice. He made his way into the bathroom
splashing some cold water on his face trying to wake up. What on Earth was
going on with him today?
Ten minutes later as promised, Remus was ready and on his way down to the great
hall with his friends. They were talking happily amongst themselves but he
wasn't listening, try as he might he couldn't get himself focused and he didn't
really want to be a part of all that today?
'What am I thinking?! This isn't like me I always love being part of every
conversation I love my friends why don't I want to see them today?' Remus
thought to himself as he slouched into the great hall.
They dropped into their usual seats and piled their plates with food. Remus
felt funny all over today, not with it and kind of grouchy, he was never one to
be moody or grumpy especially not with his friends and people he cared about.
"I can't believe it's October next week, time sure flies huh?" James mused. "I
wonder what they'll do for the Halloween feast this year I hope they do those
toffee apples they had last year"
"Yeah and maybe they'll let us get in costume" Sirius grinned eagerly.
"Mm I hope the girls do costumes"
"Bunnies, sexy witches sexy broom model" Peter was practically salivating at
the mouth.
"Tits and arses everywhere" Sirius chuckled.
Remus gritted his teeth in anger. He knew he had no right getting upset but it
still hurt, he couldn't help being a boy it wasn't like he could suddenly have
a sex change and become a woman, he could dress up as a girl but he didn't want
to embarrass himself. Maybe as a last resort that would be okay.
"Mm Evans dressed as a cat now that would be what I want to see" James almost
groaned. "Leotard, tutu, ears, the works"
"What would you dress as, James?" Sirius laughed.
"I honestly have no idea" James smirked.
They finished eating and headed off to Charms, Remus' mood growing darker by
the second.
"So Moony, who would you fancy seeing dressed up in a sexy bunny outfit
prancing around on Halloween?" James smirked throwing an arm around Remus'
shoulders playfully.
Remus shrugged him off irritably and wrinkled his nose. "Nobody"
James blinked. "There must be someone you find irresistibly sexy and want to
see like that, all of us have someone we like"
Sirius and Peter nodded their agreement.
Remus didn't say anything, but instead he walked straight into the classroom
and took his seat refusing to look at any of them.
The rest of the day passed and Remus' mood had gone from bad to worse. During
Ancient Runes James tried to talk to him.
"Remus is something bothering you?"
"No"
"It's just-"
"No"
"Then why are-"
"Stop pestering me, James I'm fine" Remus snapped. In truth he didn't know what
was wrong with him he felt up and down today he didn't know whether he was
coming or going.
Then again in Herbology Peter tried to speak to him.
"So Moony, got something on your mind?"
"No, why?"
"You just seem a little off today is all, not your usual happy self" Peter eyed
him closely.
Remus just shrugged. "Feeling tired and a little off is all"
"Anything you need to talk about?"
"Nope"
When Remus wasn't looking Peter turned and shrugged to James and Sirius who
sighed and rolled their eyes. This was proving more difficult than they
thought.
That evening when Remus had just gotten into bed and settled down to go to
sleep he felt the weight shift on the bed behind him.
"Hey Moony?"
Remus' eyes snapped wide open. Oh god, oh fuck, oh shit!
It was Sirius.
Remus didn't say anything he just buried himself beneath his covers hoping
Sirius would go and leave him in peace.
"Is everything okay? You've been off today"
"Nothing is wrong I'm just tired"
"You seem really down and angry with me is everything okay?" Sirius' voice was
disgustingly gentle.
Remus swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat. "Nothing is wrong I'm
fine I'm just tired can I please go to bed?"
Sirius sighed. "Well alright but I'm here if you need to talk, okay?"
"Yes"
"Night"
"Goodnight, Sirius" Remus breathed. Closing his eyes he let sleep overcome him
before anything else could happen, he did not want to face any of his problems
at the moment, he loved Sirius and knew that Sirius would never return that
love no matter how badly he wanted it. But maybe he could at least get his
attention somehow.
A few days passed and Remus felt no happier, he only seemed to get worse.
Thursday morning he woke up feeling as tired as he had done when he went to bed
and was about ready to burst into tears over it. He dragged himself from his
warm domain and slouched off to breakfast feeling demotivated and grumpy.
The others had noticed the change in his behaviour and were becoming very
concerned. This wasn't like Remus, for the past almost five years now he had
been a happy, kind and right boy he was rarely tired and never had he ever been
this moody even when he had reason to be.
"I tell you what, I for one can't wait to go to Hogsmeade in a few weeks"
Sirius grinned as they dropped into their seats in potions. "I can't wait to
get out of this castle for a bit and just have some fun"
"And for once not steal sweets, actually buy them" James chuckled.
"True" Sirius nodded. "But also because it's always fun going into Hogsmeade,
oh and the Butterbeer too!" he grinned playfully.
"Mm yes!" James grinned clapping his hands together. "I wish they would open a
joke shop or something there that would make it so much more fun"
"Yeah and maybe just something else to do in general there, it's much better at
Christmas with all the carollers and decorations" Sirius added.
"I like the bookshop" Remus interjected.
"Yeah but you like every book shop all you do is read" James replied. "Not to
say that's a bad thing" he added quickly noticing the worried expression
crossing his friends face. "You're just a very good boy, Moony" he laughed.
"Hmm?"
"What James means is that you're calm and quiet and you don't like making a
fuss or getting into trouble you just sit and behave yourself and not really do
much" Sirius said. "You like to sit there and be a good boy"
Now Remus could understand. If he was such a good boy and Sirius wasn't then no
wonder Sirius didn't want to be in a relationship with him. He'd want someone
with a bit more of an attitude who would do fun stuff, who wouldn't read all
day and let the teachers pat them on the head and receive a ton of praise, he'd
want someone he could be proud of and not someone who would drag his bad boy
reputation down.
This was something Remus would have to seriously consider. Did he really want
to ruin his own reputation for a chance at love?
The rest of the week passed and by the time Monday morning came around, Remus
felt even worse. A horrible churning sensation in his stomach woke him in the
early hours of the morning. Groaning he cracked open his eyes, he felt awful.
He was so tired, he felt so moody, groggy and nauseous.
Sitting up slowly he took several deep breaths resting his head in his hands.
For the past week he'd had the suspicion he may be getting ill, just suddenly
his moods had changed and he started getting a few light headaches and felt
tired on and off during the day.
He sat like that for several minutes before the churning in his tummy grew
angrier, his stomach gave a violent jolt and Remus dived out from behind his
drapes, clapping a hand over his mouth he threw himself into the bathroom and
at the toilet vomiting harshly into the basin.
Coughing and spluttering he hung his head, he felt rough as anything today.
Closing his eyes he tried to think back to anything he ate last night. He'd had
his dinner fairly early and after that he'd had some chocolate before bed,
maybe that's what had done it.
Remus cringed at the mere thought of food. His stomach gave another painful
heave and he vomited once again emptying the remains of last nights snack into
the toilet before he got shakily to his feet, wiped off his mouth and flushed
the toilet.
Heading over to the sink he swilled his mouth round with some water the sight
of toothpaste made him want to gag let alone trying to use it right now.
Remus left the bathroom clutching his tummy shuffling back to bed, maybe he'd
gotten it all up and would feel better in a little while.
Sliding back under his still warm covers, Remus rested his head against the
pillow and allowed himself to drift off for a little while longer.
It was around two hours later when Remus awoke with that same horrible
sensation in his stomach, this time he wasn't going to wait around for the
result.
Groaning he got out of bed ignoring the fact James, Peter and Sirius were just
getting up he slapped a hand across his mouth and ran into the bathroom heading
straight for the toilet. He flung himself down and heaved violently coughing up
somehow more remains of last night until he dry heaved painfully.
A knock at the door caught his attention.
"Remus are you okay?" it was Sirius.
Oh Merlin not now!
"I'm fine" Remus coughed trying to force back the urge to be sick, he didn't
want to worry his friend over this.
"You sure?"
"Yeah just being sick" Remus spat into the basin trying to get rid of that
awful taste of bile from his mouth.
The door clicked open and Sirius appeared the light flooding through the
doorway. Remus turned to look over his shoulder his face pale and his eyes half
lidded. Sirius looked concerned.
"Do you want some water or anything?" he asked gently.
"No thank you I'll be fine" Remus sniffed. "Don't think I could keep it down
anyway"
"Did you eat something funny?"
Remus shrugged. "Had the same as you and James didn't I?" Turning he leaned
forward quickly and vomited into the toilet once again.
Sirius winced and stepped back. "Is there anything you need?"
Remus shook his head weakly. "I'll be fine just give me a minute"
"Well okay" Sirius sighed worriedly. "If you need anything just ask"
"Thank you" Remus breathed.
Sirius left and shut the door, heading back into the dormitory James and Peter
looked up.
"How is he?" James asked worriedly.
"Puking his guts up" Sirius said.
"He gonna be okay?" Peter frowned. "I don't want to catch it"
"I'm sure you'll be fine Peter he thinks it might be something he ate" Sirius
said making his way over to his own bed to get dressed.
"He's been acting weird all week wonder what's going on with him" James mused.
"I get the impression he doesn't really know either" Sirius sighed.
A few minutes later and Remus emerged from the bathroom looking pale and grim.
"Hey Remus you alright?" James asked worriedly.
Remus gave a small nod and crawled into his bed wrapping himself up in his
covers. "Just gonna lie down for a few minutes then I'll get up"
"Why don't you just take the day off today? You look really sick..." Peter said
warily trying to keep a good distance away from the sickly werewolf.
Remus sniffed and yawned. "No I'm fine probably something I ate or a stomach
bug"
"If it is then you should stay in bed for today and rest, one day won't hurt"
James pressed.
Remus sighed, he couldn't even be bothered to argue he felt bloody terrible
maybe one day in bed wouldn't do him any harm. "Alright" he whispered.
He vaguely listened to his friends shuffling around and whispering before they
headed for the door.
"We'll cover for you today, Remus we hope you feel better soon" Sirius smiled.
Remus opened his eyes and gave a tiny weak smile back.
"Thanks"
"You haven't been drinking again have you?" Peter quirked an eyebrow.
"No of course not" Remus mumbled into his pillow.
"Well... okay, see you later then Moony" James called.
Remus listened as the door closed behind them and he sighed. Why do these
things have to keep happening to him?
A few hours had passed and Remus had gotten up three more times to be sick. It
was approaching lunch time and he'd managed to keep half a glass of water down
and hadn't made another trip to the bathroom to be sick for about two hours now
and he was beginning to feel quite a bit better in himself.
Yawning he sat up slowly rubbing his tired eyes, he didn't feel sick but he
ached all over, he was a little tired and he felt rough.
"I'd probably ought to go and get something to eat even if I do feel like shit"
Remus grumbled as he got up out of bed and headed over to the window. Reaching
for the catch he let it swing open a little way the cool air refreshing against
his hot skin. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, this
was much better.
After some time he shut the window and carefully dressed himself in his
uniform. He would try to go to lessons this afternoon no matter what. Remus
hated missing his classes he was always one to be on time even when he'd been
ill in the past he'd always make sure to go to lessons this would essentially
be his first day off since he'd started back in first year. Would this count as
rebellion in Sirius' eyes even if he was someone who never missed classes?
Remus seriously doubted it.
He made his way into the bathroom, went to the toilet and headed to the mirror
to gaze at his sorry reflection.
He looked pretty bad his skin was a dull almost grey colour, his eyes were dim
and boring and his hair had gone lank. No doubt it was something to do with his
tummy bug.
He rinsed his brush under the tap and carefully brushed his teeth, for some
reason the scent of his toothpaste was making him recoil in disgust. Normally
he loved the taste of mint but right now it was making him want to gag. Maybe
getting some lunch would be a bad idea after all...
Five minutes later and Remus picked up his bag and was on his way down to the
great hall. He felt quite a bit better this afternoon actually, whatever had
come over him this morning was gone, maybe he'd just gone to bed on a full
stomach and it hadn't agreed with him, a stomach bug would normally last a lot
longer than that.
He yawned again as he headed into the great hall, the noise and bustling
students weren't even enough to put him off today. Another thought struck him
as he wandered off up the Gryffindor table to where he could see his three
friend sitting talking and laughing, everything seemed to smell weird. Not
necessarily in a bad way but everything smelled so much stronger and just odd.
Shaking his head he dropped into his seat beside James.
"Hey, hey Moony's back!" James grinned clapping him on the back with a bright
grin.
"Feeling better then?" Sirius asked happily.
"Yeah a bit, dunno what was wrong with me this morning I feel like an idiot for
missing lessons now" Remus chuckled lightly. He wasn't really in the mood for
messing about but it was better to keep his friends happy than to make them
even more concerned about him.
"Ah never mind, long as you're feeling better now is all that matters, you
coming to lessons with us then?" James smiled watching Remus take two slices of
pizza.
"Yeah did I miss much?" Remus asked warily sinking his teeth into the pizza.
Much to his surprise his stomach felt calm and the delicious food was extremely
welcoming right now, his tummy grumbled and he almost groaned with delight.
This felt good.
"Nope, told Slughorn and McGonagall you're ill and they said it's alright and
they hop you feel better soon" Sirius replied watching Remus closely.
"Oh right" said Remus. "I'll ask them if there's any work I need to catch up on
tomorrow then"
"Same old Moony" Peter chuckled.
Remus instantly regretted saying that.
After lunch they headed off to Ancient Runes, Remus was still feeling achy and
rough but put it down to having been sick that morning. When he got to lessons
he took his notes, read his text and even tried slacking off a little.
"So how about we all go hunting for new escape routes out of the castle
tonight?" James said quietly so nobody could overhear them.
"Sounds great!" Remus jumped in first. "But I think I should probably do the
responsible thing and have an early night cause I've been ill"
Sirius, James and Peter all exchanged glances.
"Well how about we postpone until tomorrow night so you can come with us"
Sirius suggested.
"Sure" Remus said unable to look his friend in the eye. "Sounds like fun"
"Great and I think we should explore some of the grounds more when we get time"
Sirius said quickly turning to James. "I reckon that before it gets too cold we
should do it, try to find as much as we can now and then when it does get too
cold we can explore the castle more"
"Smart thinking, Sirius" James replied.
Remus spent the rest of the lesson listening in on his friends conversations.
By the time last lesson came around he was ready to go to bed.
"You're all sluggish again" Peter said as they headed down for dinner.
"Yeah just feel really tired again this afternoon" Remus yawned lazily.
"Should you go to Madame Pomfrey? She might be able to give you something for
that" said James.
"Nah I reckon it's a twenty four hour thing, probably just need a good nights
sleep and I'll be fine by the morning" Remus smiled weakly.
"Well if it doesn't you should go, she might have a potion or something you can
take"
"Yeah will do" Remus said.
Even after dinner he struggled to make it to the top of the stairs he felt so
sleepy, achy and rough.
"Where are you going?" James asked frowning as he Sirius and Peter sank into
the chairs around the common room fire. It looked really warm and inviting but
right now Remus was too exhausted to deal with it.
"Bed?"
"It's half seven" Sirius pointed out.
Remus just shrugged without even looking at him once again. "Too tired, night
guys" he grumbled.
"Night" they called to his retreating figure.
Remus washed and dressed in some fresh pyjamas very quickly, slipping into bed
he drew his drapes closed and snuggled down. Maybe things would seem better in
the morning. It barely took five minutes before Remus was sound asleep.
The next morning however, Remus woke early once again a familiar pang in his
stomach and he groaned.
Sitting up he rubbed his tired eyes.
"Please not again" he whispered hoarsely.
And as though his stomach said 'yes again' it gave a powerful lurch and Remus
found himself leaping from the bed, bursting into the bathroom and vomiting
harshly into the toilet once again.
Remus spat bitterly into the toilet bowl sitting back on his heels, he wiped
off his mouth on some tissue. What was wrong with him why was he so ill again
this morning? He'd felt better from yesterday afternoon and he felt fine going
to bed he hadn't hardly eaten anything so what could be causing this?
"Probably is just a bug" he grumbled getting slowly to his feet and flushing
the toilet.
Washing his hands he hobbled back into the dormitory to get back into bed for a
little while hoping that was the last of it.
Unfortunately though he woke again less than an hour later with the urgent need
to vomit, and again two hours after that.
Just as he was going to bed back into bed James stopped him.
"You're not sick again are you?"
"Yeah don't get too close I think I've got a stomach bug" Remus sniffled. "I've
been up and down to the bathroom for a couple of hours now"
"Maybe you should have a rest again this morning" Sirius frowned with concern.
Remus shook his head. "No it went away yesterday morning maybe I shouldn't try
to lie down again it's probably making it worse" he said moving to sit on his
bed.
"Shouldn't you go and see Madame Pomfrey about this?" Peter asked warily not
wanting to go anywhere near Remus so he didn't catch it.
Remus shook his head breathing deeply in his mouth and out of his mouth. "I'll
be fine just need some air"
"Are you coming down for breakfast with us this morning?" Sirius asked.
Upon hearing the word breakfast, Remus' tummy gave a small jolt. "Please don't
mention the b word" he groaned.
"Alright so are you coming down with us then?" Sirius tried.
"Probably in a bit, give me a chance to settle and I'll get dressed, probably
won't eat anything though" Remus breathed leaning back against his headboard
stroking his tummy.
"If it gets any worse go and see Madame Pomfrey, okay?" Sirius frowned
worriedly.
"Okay but I'm sure whatever it is that's causing it will resolve itself" Remus
replied.
Remus gave it about fifteen minutes before he got up. Pulling on his clothes he
went to the window for a few moments getting some fresh air. He didn't feel too
awful right now. Closing the window he headed into the bathroom, had a wash and
tried to brush his teeth gagging almost the whole way through it.
Five minutes later and they were all on their way downstairs towards the great
hall. Not eating so much last night definitely helped Remus this morning he
hadn't been nearly as sick as yesterday. Cringing at the thought they made
their way down the last staircase.
And that's when it happened, the scent of freshly cooked sausages, eggs, crispy
bacon, golden butter melting on hot toast, fruit, tea and other heavy breakfast
smells wafted through the air.
Remus clapped a hand to his mouth gagging on the scent clutching nervously at
his tummy.
"Remus you alright?" James asked worriedly.
Remus nodded slowly holding his breath. "Gonna go and wait for you outside,
come find me when you're done" he said.
"Can't hold anything down?"
Remus shook his head. "Bye" he said hurrying off through the doors and out into
the cool morning air. As soon as he was outside, Remus felt better. Inhaling
the hazy air he moved down into the courtyard to sit himself comfortably on a
bench closing his eyes. Even if it was a little chilly out he didn't mind it
was calming his stomach drastically.
Remus had no idea how long he was sitting there before his friends showed up.
"Feeling any better, Moony?" James asked.
Remus opened his eyes and smiled. "Much let's get going" he said getting slowly
to his feet. The urgent need to vomit had passed and he was feeling so much
better.
They made their way down into the Herbology greenhouses, it was much warmer
inside than it was out but the Earthy scents helped to keep Remus' stomach at
bay. Maybe he should just sleep in here at night and not bother going back to
the tower.
Yawning he set to work pruning some of the plants on his own. Doing something
practical would hopefully take his mind off of it.
By the time lunch rolled around Remus was feeling much better. He headed into
the great hall with his friends, sat down and helped himself to a light salad,
his stomach had been calm all morning and he wasn't aching nearly as badly as
yesterday even if he did still feel horribly tired and moody.
"I hope I get to partner with Evans in that Transfiguration assignment this
afternoon" James mused. In the last lesson Professor McGonagall had said to
them about there being an assignment they would do during class time each
lesson for two weeks and they would all be partnered up, they wouldn't get to
choose their partners she would select them and ever since yesterday James had
spoken of nothing but getting to work with Lily, if she was chosen for him.
"You always hope for her" Peter said. "I want her brunette friend"
"You ALWAYS want her brunette friend" Sirius winked. Peter just stared at him
apparently he didn't get the joke, Sirius just sighed and shook his head.
"Never mind don't strain yourself"
Remus couldn't help but laugh.
"You seem a lot better today, Remus" James commented smiling over the fact his
friend seemed so much better.
"Yeah well I guess whatever it was must be going away now" Remus shrugged. He
knew it probably wasn't and he still didn't feel wonderful but he was
definitely better than yesterday. At least it was a start.
By the end of lunch the boys headed off to their Transfiguration lesson quite
happily. They stood to wait outside ignoring the fact some of the Slytherin's
were staring at them and whispering as usual. Normally they only did this when
they wanted to gain their attention and start a fight but none of the Marauders
even bothered to react to it today.
When Professor McGonagall arrived and let them all in, they hurried to sit down
and wait for the rest of the class to file in.
"Please, please, please let it be her" James hissed clenching his eyes shut and
crossing his fingers under the table.
"Mate you look kind of desperate and stalker-ish doing that" Sirius chuckled
from where he was sitting in front of them with Peter.
"Shut up you!" James hissed angrily.
Sirius threw his head back and barked a laugh.
"Right now as you all know you'll be paired with a partner for this next
assignment, I have personally chosen your partners depending on ability and
because I'd like to mix you all up a bit so you don't end up working with your
friends as usual" Professor McGonagall said glancing around the classroom.
"Right so the pairings will be as follows-" she began. Filing off a few names
she reached some more familiar ones. "Mister Avery will be partners with Mister
Black"
"Oh Shit!" Sirius groaned.
"Language!" the teacher snapped.
Avery looked equally as upset. Resting his head on his arms he slumped forward
onto the desk with Mulciber patting his shoulder.
"It'll be alright mate, hex him if he starts"
The others were sitting behind him smirking and high fiving one another. If you
got to be with one of the Marauders, it would be hell. They all hated each
other.
"Mister Pettigrew will paired with Miss McKinnon"
"Yes!" Peter grinned reaching behind him to high five James.
"Mister Rosier will be paired with Mister Lovegood and Mister Potter will be
with Miss Evans" she read from the register.
"Woohoo!" James almost squealed grinning madly, he sat bolt upright in his seat
as Lily turned around to roll her eyes at him. Apparently she wasn't quite as
enthusiastic about this pairing as he was.
"And finally Mister Lupin will be paired with Mister Snape"
James, Sirius and Peter all turned to stare at Remus whom looked slightly
worried but mostly calm about this.
"Damn Moony" Sirius said shaking his head. "That is unlucky"
"Yeah I feel sorry for you mate" James sighed resting a comforting hand on
Remus' shoulder.
Peter just sat shaking his head as though it was the end of the world.
"I'll be fine it's only Snape he won't do anything on his own" Remus said
calmly.
"If he does we'll break his legs, okay?" Sirius flashed one of those heart
warming devilish grins that mate Remus just want to melt into a puddle of goo
right then and there. An odd sensation flickered through his eyes so he averted
them. He couldn't bare to look into Sirius' face for more than a split second.
"Right then everybody pair up and get started I've written all the information
you need on the board, any fighting and you will receive detention" McGonagall
said her eyes flickering to Sirius momentarily.
"Yes Professor" the class said unanimously.
The loud scraping of stools and shuffling sound filled the air as the class got
up to move seats. Remus was feeling a little nauseous so he decided to stay put
and wait for Snape to come to him.
James' chair was drawn back and slowly Severus sat down feeling a little on
edge and nervous about working with Lupin. True Remus wasn't the worst person
to get he would much rather have had one of his own friends or Lily but if it
had to be a Marauder he'd much more happily work with Remus than any of the
others, at least he wouldn't bully him.
"Hello" Remus smiled.
"Lupin" Snape nodded opening his text book to the correct page. He pulled out a
roll of parchment and began copying some of the details down from the board.
Deciding he'd ought to do the same, Remus quickly scribbled them down.
"Okay so what part do you want to do? I'm happy to do any of it so you can
choose" Remus said calmly, he thought it best to give Severus choice of what he
did that way it could potentially save on arguments. If he was going to be
working with the boy for two weeks, he would have to at least try to be civil
with him.
"I'll take the second section and half of the fourth, you can have the rest"
Severus said. He'd chosen the most difficult parts leaving Remus with more
work, but it wasn't quite as hard as Snape's.
"Okay that's fine" Remus said.
They worked in silence for a while hardly getting anywhere, Remus could see
Sirius glancing back over his shoulder at him checking Remus was okay. This
made Remus feel good but he knew it wasn't because Sirius fancied him or
anything it was because he didn't want Snape to hurt him or start on him, and
he wanted to be the first one to launch an all-out war if something did kick
off.
By the end of the lesson, Remus was fine and Severus was calm too. They'd
managed a proper conversation about their work without fighting. Sirius on the
other hand had managed to receive a slap around the back of the head from Avery
when the teacher wasn't looking and almost got detention for starting a fight.
James and spent the entire lesson absorbed in Lily's breasts every time she
looked away or went to write something and Peter had been reported twice for
not doing any work instead he chose to ogle his partner like a randy animal in
the zoo.
As they were filing out Sirius stretched his arms above his head.
"That was one shitty lesson" he groaned.
"It wasn't for me" James grinned proudly.
"Me neither" Peter laughed high fiving James excitedly.
"It wasn't too bad for me either, Severus was actually being rather civil"
Remus said.
The other three stopped to gawp at him. "You aren't being serious are you..."
James gasped.
Remus shrugged. "He didn't do anything, he didn't argue and I let him choose
what parts of the work he wanted to do, he was fine about it" Remus said. "I'm
not going to randomly start on him for no reason, I never like nor dislike him
and you know that"
The three of them exchanged looks and sighed.
"I honestly don't know how you can be so nice to that greasy little freak"
Sirius sighed shaking his head. "If it was me I would have killed him by now"
Remus chuckled. "I have self-control"
"Yeah most of the time..." Sirius said quietly.
Remus' eyes widened and he swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat. He
suddenly felt very sick again...
That evening after dinner Remus was lounging in the common room by the fire.
He'd felt a little better most of the day but now he wasn't so sure.
"Hey Remus you coming with us on the hunt for outdoor passages then?" James
asked pulling on his red and gold scarf.
"Oh sure" Remus said getting slowly to his feet. "Just let me get my scarf" he
said making his way up to the dormitory.
Once inside he rummaged around until eventually he found said scarf but had to
stop a sudden wave of sickness washed over him.
"Oh please not again..." he breathed clutching onto one of the posts on his bed
for support. Taking several deep breaths he closed his eyes willing it all to
go away.
Unfortunately, try as he might it wasn't enough. His stomach gave a heaved and
he found himself rushing into the bathroom once again.
"Where the hell is Remus?" Sirius frowned glancing up towards the dormitory
stairs.
"He said he only went to get his scarf, wonder what's keeping him" Peter said.
"He's probably lay on his bed and fallen asleep or something no doubt" James
tutted impatiently. "I'll go see what he's up to"
"Nah it's alright I'll go" Sirius offered getting to his feet. He headed up the
stairs and rounded into their dormitory. The wall torches were still lit and
when he gazed around, the room was empty.
"Remus?" he frowned.
A loud coughing from the bathroom caught his attention and without bothering to
knock he just opened the door.
And found Remus Lupin hanging off the toilet once again.
"Oh shit, Remus are you okay?" he asked worriedly making his way in there after
him. The scent of vomit was strong in the air and Sirius wrinkled his nose with
disgust trying to ignore it for his friend's sake.
"No" Remus groaned wiping his mouth off on a piece of tissue.
"Come on I think you should just go to bed" Sirius frowned heaving Remus to his
feet.
The werewolf flushed the toilet and shuffled over to the sink to wash his
hands. Sirius watched as he splashed cold water on his pallid face, he looked
bloody awful again tonight.
"Right, just let me get my scarf on and I'm ready"
"No Remus I think you should stay here tonight you aren't very well" Sirius
said worriedly.
"No I'll be okay trust me" Remus argued.
"No Moony you're gonna make yourself bad, just stay here and get into bed"
"But I want to go with you I don't want to be left out and end up spending my
night alone"
Sirius sank his teeth into his bottom lip thoughtfully for a few moments. "I'll
stay here with you then" he said.
Remus blinked in confusion. "You don't have to do that if you're gonna make me
stay here at least go and have fun yourself" he replied.
"No it's fine I'll stay here with you, Marauders code of honour, when one is
sick the others care for him" Sirius said proudly. Actually it wasn't really a
code of conduct more like a loving gesture they would all participate in if it
were possible at that time.
"Are you sure?" Remus asked worriedly. It would be the first time he was alone
with Sirius since that night.
"Yeah it's cool, go on and get your pyjamas on I'll tell James and Peter I'm
hanging back with you and maybe you'll be well enough to come with us in a few
days" Sirius shrugged casually.
"Okay thanks" Remus turned to face him and smiled.
"Anytime" said Sirius.
Remus made his way back into the dormitory and over to his bed, he listened as
Sirius' footsteps died away and momentarily thought he may not be coming back.
When Sirius appeared hurrying down the stairs, James and Peter looked up but
frowned when they realised Remus wasn't with him.
"What-"
"Remus is puking his guts up again I'm gonna stay here with him tonight make
sure he's alright and that, you two go on ahead we won't wait up" Sirius said.
"Damn..." Peter sighed.
"If you're sure, we can stay here if you want I feel kinda bad going without
you guys" James' eyebrows creased a little in the centre.
"Nah it's alright, go on ahead enjoy yourself" Sirius waved them off. He really
wished he were going but he couldn't bear to leave Remus alone when he was like
this, it just seemed terribly unfair and he knew if it was him he'd want
somebody to stay with him just so he wasn't alone.
"Well... alright, don't wait up we'll be pretty late okay?"
Sirius nodded. "See ya"
"Bye"
Sirius didn't bother waiting until they'd gone before he took the stone stairs
two at a time and hurried back into the dormitory closing the door behind him.
Remus was in his nightshirt sitting on his bed sorting his socks into pairs. He
didn't say anything as he went over to his own bed and pulled off his uniform.
Remus paused mid-movement as he spotted Sirius in the next bed over slowly
undressing, pulling his cloak, shoes and tie off throwing them aside he folded
his arms and slipped his jumper up over his head and dropped it on top of his
trunk.
The werewolf swallowed hard watching Sirius through the corner of his eye as he
opened his shirt at a painfully slow rate, revealing that perfect, snowy white
skin beneath. His shirt drifted lazily to the ground around his feet and he
stood with his taught, slender chest fully exposed before pulling on a t-shirt
and shucking out of his school trousers to yank on his navy blue plaid pyjama
bottoms over his boxer shorts.
Why did he have to be so sexy?
Remus sighed and continued folding before Sirius had noticed him staring.
"Need some help?" Sirius offered sinking onto the end of Remus' bed.
Remus just smiled without looking up and pushed one of the piles of clean socks
towards Sirius. "Thanks"
They sorted in silence for quite some time, Remus wasn't sure if it was just
him that felt it but the tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a
knife.
"I wonder if James and Peter will find anything tonight" Sirius mused trying to
strike up some conversation.
Remus shrugged a little. "Maybe, I wish I was out there with them and with you
too" he said quietly.
"But you're sick you need to rest and stay in the warm, maybe you've over done
it today you should have just had the whole of yesterday off and today too"
Sirius replied. "Something's gotta be making you sick"
"Maybe it's something I've been eating or stress I don't know"
"Why don't you just go and see Madame Pomfrey about it, she might be able to
give you something to help"
Remus shrugged. "I've always hated going to the doctor or the hospital ever
since I was little and I was bitten, it was kind of a traumatic experience for
me and ever since then I've refused to go to a hospital for anything"
"Well that's understandable but Pomfrey won't do anything to hurt you" Sirius
tried.
Remus just shrugged again. "I know but I'd rather not go unless I'm dying, I've
only been sick two days it's not really a substantial amount of time to bother
going if it had been going on a few weeks or months then yeah but it's probably
just some virus or stress or something"
"Well it's your call" Sirius sighed. At least he tried.
They continued to fold in silence for a while until the pile was completed.
"Look Remus I'm not silly I know you're in a mood with me" Sirius said finally.
Remus rested the last pair onto the pile but didn't look up or say anything.
Sirius sighed. "I know it's been ever since we were drunk that night, you've
been avoiding me and if I did something to upset or hurt you I want to
apologise for that"
"It's fine" Remus mumbled fidgeting his hands nervously in his lap.
"No it isn't, look I know you feel embarrassed about what happened and I know
you think that I don't give a shit but I do"
Remus looked up into Sirius' face. What?
"I do care about you Remus and I know what happened was very inappropriate and
silly, we were both drunk and I know it's been awkward between us since then,
well I've felt fine about it but I know it's really upset you"
Remus swallowed audibly and looked away. "I'm sorry too"
"It's fine, let's just focus on getting you better now, okay?" Sirius smiled.
Remus nodded slowly. "Aright" he smiled weakly.
Sirius helped Remus into bed and actually tucked him in. He conjured a bucket
and left it down by the side of Remus' bed before filling his goblet with
fresh, cool water. "Here, so you don't have to get up if you're sick in the
night again"
"Thank you" Remus breathed blinking slowly up at Sirius.
"My pleasure, what are friends for eh?" Sirius chuckled. "Night Remus" he
smiled ruffling Remus' hair gently before closing the draped and sauntering
over to his own bed. Remus listened as Sirius flopped down against his own
covers and yawned loudly.
It wasn't long before sleep overcame Remus.
Two days had passed and Remus was no better. Both mornings he'd woken up
nauseous with that horrid churning in his stomach, minutes later he'd been sick
either in his bucket or had ran for the bathroom.
"I'm getting really worried about him" James whispered on Thursday evening as
three of the boys sat on his bed.
They all glanced over to where Remus was lying curled up in bed sleeping.
"I think there's something seriously wrong with him"
"I don't know I tried to convince him to go to Pomfrey the other day but he
wouldn't" Sirius replied.
"We could force him" Peter pointed.
"That would only upset him, you know how menstrual he's being at the moment"
James said. "I don't know if it's got something to do with the full moon, or
he's just sick or something's happened but whatever it is it's bothering him"
"Possibly a mixture of all of those things" Peter said.
"I think we should leave him be for a few days and see if after the full moon
he improves it could just be that and he's gotten over tired" Sirius said
slowly his eyes fixated on Remus. "I reckon pestering him and trying to make
him go will only upset him more so we should just let him do what he wants he
isn't a baby"
"Maybe you're right" James said.
By the time Friday morning came, Remus was no better. He woke up with that
familiar pang in his stomach, rolled over leaning over the side of the bed and
vomiting into his bucket with a groan. Why wouldn't he just get better?
Every day it was the same thing. He'd wake up early feeling sick and need to
vomit, go back to bed for a while and throw up again it would repeat two or
three times sometimes even more before he'd get up, have a wash and go outside
to sit for a while during breakfast. He'd go to lessons feeling achy, tired and
mediocre and by lunch time he'd be well enough to eat again.
Thankfully he hadn't been sick any of these past few evenings unlike Tuesday
but he still sometimes felt a little rough. By bed time he'd collapse under the
covers and be asleep the split second his head hit those fluffed pillows.
Remus couldn't deny. He was getting very worried about his health.
"Scourgify" Remus muttered watching the pink soap bubbles clean up the mess
inside the bucket. He'd debated about throwing it all out the window, Sirius
had suggested he take it to Transfiguration and he himself would dump it all
over Snape's head but Remus quickly dismissed that as a very bad idea.
After his usual sit in the cold that day, Remus waited until his friends came
to get him.
"You ready to go to potions, Moony?" Peter asked watching Remus lean his head
back against the stone wall. He was as usual sitting in the courtyard soaking
up the cool morning air. He didn't even care if it was spitting today, it felt
much better than being in the heat with those god awful smells coming from the
great hall. Everything smelled so strongly at the moment and Remus couldn't for
the life of him figure out why that was.
"Give me a couple more minutes you can go on ahead if you like I'll join you
when I'm ready" Remus said quietly.
"We'll wait with you it's fine we hate leaving you on your own when you're
sick" James replied frowning worriedly. He really didn't want to pester Remus
any more, from what he could tell whenever he badgered the boy, Remus was on
the verge of blowing up big time over this.
"So how's it going with Evans in Transfiguration then, James?" Peter asked
excitedly.
"I tell you I think she's got the hots for me!" James sniffed thumping himself
proudly on the chest.
"You say that all the time and each time you harass her she only completely
obliterates you" Sirius chuckled. "Somehow I get the impression that her
knickers are not as wet for you as you think they are"
"Shush you!" James hissed. "You wouldn't like it if I started making sexy jokes
about you and that dick head Avery"
Sirius gaged. Peter winced and Remus cringed.
"Please don't even say things like that" Sirius groaned wrinkling his nose with
distaste. "He's repulsive"
"He's not ugly but he's the biggest wanker around here" James laughed.
"Bigger than Snape?" Peter teased.
Sirius opened his mouth to argue but closed it again seemingly having to think
about this one. "No bigger than my brother, smaller than Snape"
Remus cringed. There were the Regulus comments again.
"Ha! Your little brother is weird" James laughed.
"I know right? Sucks being related to him sometimes everybody thinks he's a
mini me only he isn't half as smart or good looking" Sirius winked playfully
catching Remus' eye.
Remus blushed slightly and looked away. Sirius was right he was incredibly good
looking and he knew it and would frequently use it to his advantage with pretty
much everything and everyone around him.
"He's creepy as hell" Peter shuddered.
"You're not actually scared of him are you?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.
"No! He's just freaky" Peter snapped.
"I'm ready to go inside now" Remus interjected. He hated the way Sirius and the
others would talk about Regulus that way, the boy obviously looked up to his
big brother and it was sad the way Sirius would treat him that way.
"Alright come on then" James smiled.
Remus got up and they all headed inside back into the warmth, he held his
breath as they passed through the entrance hall so as not to get a single whiff
of anything from breakfast until they were in the dungeon corridor. At least it
was nice and cool in here.
They stopped outside the classroom waiting for Professor Slughorn to arrive.
"Hey Evans you're looking lovely this morning!" James winked to the redhead.
Lily wrinkled her nose with disgust but her two friends gazed over at James and
Sirius fluttering their eyelashes playfully. The simple gesture alone was
enough to set Remus' stomach on edge again. He hated it when people flirted or
pulled faces at Sirius.
Remus didn't like to think of himself as the jealous type but when it came to
Sirius Black, he couldn't deny that people slobbering all over him drove Remus
wild with hatred.
"Reign it in, Potter" Lily said calmly.
"Oh come on, Evans I'm only being friendly"
"Yes rather like a Labrador, a big dumb animal" she blinked.
Peter and Sirius burst into fits of laughter and James turned red. "Whatever"
he shrugged turning away from her pretending he wasn't bothered when in reality
he was hurt and fuming.
"Never mind, James you'll get her next time" Sirius grinned slinging his arm
around his friends shoulders.
"Oi Potter!"
The four boys turned around to see the group of Slytherin's surrounding Severus
standing grinning nastily their eyes flashing with excitement.
"What do you want?" James snapped.
"Touchy" Snape laughed.
"You stay out of this Snape or I'll come over there and I'll hex you six feet
into the wall!" Sirius snarled angrily. Anything Snape did would wind him up,
Sirius had even managed to start a hexing war over Snape just standing smiling
at him once.
"Actually that isn't possible seeing as the depth of these walls reaches
nowhere near six feet" Snape scoffed.
A vein throbbed in Sirius' temple, he flexed his hands waiting for some excuse
to rip out his wand and do some serious damage to that greasy little Slytherin.
"Just leave it" said Remus. "They aren't worth it"
"Who are you to talk, Lupin? From what I hear you're the least popular one of
the lot" Avery grinned.
"Don't drag Remus into this you know he hasn't done anything wrong" James said
pointing his finger at the other boy his hazel eyes darkening dangerously
behind his glasses.
Remus closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold stone wall, his
stomach started churning. He hated being dragged into this kind of crap.
"Or what? What are you going to do to us you pathetic little Gryffindor scum?"
Mulciber challenged straightening himself up to full height glaring down his
nose at them.
"This is so immature" Lily commented rolling her green eyes impatiently.
"Shut your face, Mudblood" Evan spat nastily.
"Don't you DARE speak to her like that!" James bellowed, his wand was out in an
instant his eyes darting between the group of Slytherin's. Even with the four
of them they were still outnumbered by them. But James felt very confident
today.
"You want to stick to your own kind, Potter, you're a pureblood it's time you
started acting like one" Mulciber said.
"Act your age not your minute IQ" Sirius sighed.
"Seriously just leave it they want a reaction..." Remus said taking several
deep breaths. He was starting to feel horribly sick now and couldn't bear the
thought of everybody watching him throwing up.
"Fuck off Lupin what's the worst you can do?" Avery tutted sizing the smaller
boy up, apparently he didn't see Remus as much of a threat at all.
"I have the authority to take away house points and put you in detention" Remus
reminded him raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes with a smirk.
Avery seemed completely taken aback by this. His face creased into a scowl and
he pulled out his wand pointing it at Remus. "Go on, do it, I dare you, you
filthy half-blood"
"Oi leave him alone he's twice the man you'll ever be!" Sirius spat.
The Slytherin's burst into fits of laughter over this.
Remus felt horrible. He couldn't be dealing with this right now. He took a few
steps to the side glancing off down the corridor. "I feel really sick..." he
said but nobody seemed to notice.
"You lot are such a waste of space" Snape laughed shaking his head with
disgust.
"Says you, you don't deserve the air you waste" Sirius growled.
"Oh fuck off Black" Snape tutted.
Remus was trembling slightly as he clutched at his stomach the back of his
right hand slowly making its way towards his face. "I really don't feel very
well..."
"Oi what's wrong with Lupin?" Evan laughed pointing lazily to Remus a smirk
playing on his harsh features.
James and Sirius risked a glance at Remus who now held the back of his hand to
his mouth, his eyes were clenched shut and he was shaking all over.
"Remus?" Sirius asked worriedly.
"He's probably just looked in the mirror" Avery laughed.
Remus' stomach gave a violent jolt, he went to run for the bathroom but his
stomach beat him to it and he vomited straight onto the floor and all down his
robes by the Slytherin's feet earning a renowned mix of disgusted noises.
"Oh dear" said James worriedly.
He Sirius and Peter gently gripped Remus as another wave of sickness washed
over him and he vomited all over himself and managed to splatter some up the
wall this time.
Professor Slughorn came down the corridor wrinkling his nose with disgust at
the smell. "Merlin's beard!" he said unlocking the classroom gesturing for the
others to file in. "You've made quite a mess here Mister Lupin"
"Sorry Professor I'll clean it up..."
"No matter I will have Mister Filch deal with it, you boys take him to the
toilet and don't bring him back until he's gotten it all up" the potions master
smiled.
"Yes Professor"
"Come on Remus" Sirius said taking his friend by the arm and leading him into
the toilet.
"Feel better" Slughorn called after them. "I'll make you something to settle
your stomach in the meantime"
The three boys ushered Remus into the boys toilet, pulling off his cloak James
scrunched it up carefully and shoved it in a sink running the taps trying to
rid the smell of sick from the air so he could actually breathe for once.
"You okay now, Remus?" Sirius asked kicking the toilet seat down and making
Remus sit on it.
"Yeah... ish"
Peter soaked a few paper towels in warm water and handed them through to Sirius
whom set to work mopping the sick from Remus' face and hair.
"You don't have to do this" Remus groaned trying to pull away, it was
embarrassing enough without having the boy he loved washing up his sick.
Sirius pulled Remus closer again continuing to clean his face. "It's fine I
don't mind, if it was contagious we would have caught it by now" he said.
Sirius had made an excellent point there, if it wasn't contagious that ruled
out a tummy bug.
When he was done Remus lazily leaned his damp, clean head against Sirius'
tummy. "Thank you" he breathed closing his eyes.
"It's fine" Sirius smiled. "Just trying to help you"
"Cloaks clean" James announced handing it over to Peter as he blasted a jet of
warm air from the tip of his wand over it drying it thoroughly so Remus could
put it back on.
"Thanks a lot, guys" Remus called.
"You know this could be something do to with the full moon" Sirius said
quietly. "It is tomorrow after all"
"Unfortunately yes it is" Remus sighed. He'd been trying not to think about it
or remind himself.
"Maybe you'll feel better after that" said Peter.
"I hope so" Remus yawned.
"You wanna go back to bed?" Sirius asked with a frown.
"Nope I'm going to lessons" he decided getting to his feet. Peter handed him
his warm, dry cloak no free of sick and other sorts. Remus pulled it on and
hugged it to his body for extra warmth.
They headed back to potions, Remus' mind was elsewhere. What if the others were
right and there was something seriously wrong with him? One thing was for sure,
Remus definitely wasn't looking forward to tomorrow night's transformation...
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry for making you guys wait so long for this, I've been busy with
     my bigger fanfiction projects but I definitely plan to get as much as
     possible posted on here. You've probably just realised I've posted a
     few more chapters for this story by the time you read this one....
     refresh the page if not :)
     Thanks for reading!
***** Chapter 3 Positive VS Negative *****
The next morning Remus was feeling worse than ever. He woke with his stomach
churning, threw back the covers and without hesitation ran for the bathroom
vomiting into the toilet which he'd barely made it to in time.
After a good fifteen minutes of spluttering, he wiped his mouth and flushed the
toilet before heading over to the sink. Rinsing his hands and swilling his
mouth with water, unable to even look at the mouth wash or toothpaste, he
stopped to gaze at himself in the mirror. What stared back at him was not a
pretty sight, his skin was paler than ever, dark circles ringed beneath his
eyes, his hair had lost all brightness and sheen and he looked really ill. He
felt really ill.
Probably the full moon fast approaching this evening did not help, and the fact
the moon would rise earlier with each passing day meant he would be trapped in
his wolf form for longer periods of time.
Sighing he headed back into the dormitory, his skin itches, he felt rotten, he
looked even worse and his mood was lower than before. All the usual symptoms of
a full moon along with whatever was making him sick these past few weeks
anyway, this really didn't help the matter.
"Alright, Moony?" James asked as he slumped to sit on the edge of his bed, the
water on his bedside table looked really appetising right now but Remus knew it
would only lie in his stomach and make him vomit more if he drank it.
"Yeah sort of"
"Worried about tonight?" James pressed.
Remus half shrugged, he wasn't up for conversations right now he just wanted to
curl up in bed and go to sleep. "I'm gonna go back to bed, probably for most of
the day I feel like crap"
"You look more than a little peaky, mate" Sirius commented. "Anything you want
us to get?"
Remus ground his teeth with irritation as he curled back up in his nest of
blankets. "No"
"We're gonna go find some shit to do but if you want one of us can stay with
you?" James offered.
"No you go and have fun I'm only going to be a grouch anyway" Remus said.
"Well if you're sure, we'll come and check on you a bit later on" Sirius said
hesitantly.
"I'm sure, it's okay"
"Okay, have a good sleep, Moony" said James.
"Thanks" Remus mumbled listening to their footsteps cross the room and leave to
go down for breakfast. Now he was on his own maybe he could make himself feel a
little better. He just needed to get away even if it was only for a little
while.
Several hours passed and at lunch the other's brought Remus up something to
eat, salad with a little dressing and some juice which he ate and drank
hungrily before settling back down under his covers.
By the time the end of the day approached the others came back up for the third
time to check on Remus.
"Remus... time to wake up you need to go down to the shrieking shack" Sirius
said gently shaking his friend awake.
No matter how badly Remus just wanted to lie in the warm cosy domain of his
bed, he knew he couldn't wait five more minutes unless he wanted to transform
their, smash his way out and kill or infect half the school.
Throwing back the covers he groaned stretching his arms above his head.
"Feeling any better?" Sirius asked worriedly.
"A bit thanks, full moon makes me feel like crap anyway" Remus yawned getting
up and pulling on some jogging bottoms and a hoodie. What he pretty much always
wore as they were easy to get on and off, if he didn't take his clothes off he
would rip them off anyway when he transformed.
When he was ready he said his goodbye's before making his way down through the
common room and out onto the stairs. His skin itched worse, he was getting
sore, uncomfortable and angry.
Sneaking through the castle he made his way into the grounds meeting Madame
Pomfrey behind one of the giant rocks in the stone circle. It was sundown and
nobody would be able to see them as they passed through the beautiful grounds,
the black lake turning into a pit of crimson fire from the late afternoon, now
setting sun.
Remus had a feeling tonight would be a bad one, it was October now and bitterly
cold outside.
They made their way to the Whomping Willow, Madame Pomfrey took an especially
long stick to prod the knot and avoid being pummelled by it. The tree froze and
she carefully guided Remus over to the entrance.
"Right, I will meet you again in the morning, I hope it isn't too bad for you,
I will see you tomorrow" the nurse said nervously.
"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey" Remus swallowed.
She glanced up at where the sun had almost completely disappeared behind the
horizon, the last rays of light hidden behind some of the thick clouds, the air
was cold and Remus shuddered at the thought of waiting almost completely naked
for the moon to come.
"You'd better be going now then" she said practically pushing Remus down into
the entrance. "Go on, hurry!"
Remus hopped inside, hurrying down the long passageway as fast as he could, it
was fairly small in here, plenty enough size for a human but definitely not for
a fully grown werewolf. Ever since first year Remus had been terrified that he
wouldn't make it safely into the shack in time and he would transform here and
either end up trapped or escape and run to the castle and kill every one. In
reality he knew this wouldn't happen, especially seeing as the tree would be
unfrozen after Pomfrey had gone as a safety precaution.
When he finally reached the end of the tunnel, his skin was prickling and his
joints aching even more. Pushing open the hatched he clambered inside and shut
it over tightly, there was no way his wolf form could get through there.
Sighing, Remus made his way into the sort of bedroom, pulling off his jogging
bottoms and hoodie he put them high up on a shelf just in case for some reason
he decided to ruin them, nothing else apart from some deep claw marks in the
wall, a door off its hinges and scuffing on the floor had been done, last time
he transformed he hadn't even harmed himself, hopefully that would happen
again.
Sitting on the edge of the bed shivering, Remus waited... and waited…. Until
finally he could feel it coming, suddenly it hit with full force and he ground
his teeth, his pupils dilated as he felt his human mind slipping further out of
his grasp for another night. The pain was almost unbearable, Remus was on his
feet instantly crying in pain as his body began to morph….
Many hours passed and after changing back into a human, Remus knelt, naked and
sore on the floor clutching his aching body and gasping for breath. His head
was pounding, his joints were stiff and aching, his entire body screamed with
distress. Slowly after some time he got shakily to his feet and shuffled over
to the shelf.
Hissing as he pulled down his clothes, his body protesting against the movement
so soon after changing, he dared risk a glance at his body.
Much to his surprise there were no scratches, wounds or bite marks. Remus
wasted no time yanking on his warm clothes before shuffling stiffly down to the
hatch and making his way out of the shrieking shack, thankful to escape that
place for another month.
He made his way back along the passage until finally he emerged in the early
morning light beneath the tree. Madame Pomfrey was standing only a couple of
feet away looking worried.
"Good morning Remus, how are you?"
"Tired, sore but I'm fine, no wounds or anything again" he said hoarsely.
Madame Pomfrey blinked in confusion. "This is the second time in a row that's
happened isn't it?"
Remus nodded.
"Well this certainly is particularly odd, any damage in the shack?"
"No" Remus said shaking his head, in truth he was equally as confused as Madame
Pomfrey but right now he didn't care, hopefully he would be able to recover
much faster due to this like he did last time.
"Very well, let's head back up to the castle now, people will be awake soon"
she said.
They made their way across the grounds, Remus forced back a groan as he felt
his stomach beginning to churn once again. Please not here, not now he thought
desperately. If Madame Pomfrey saw him throw up or he said he felt sick she
would drag him back to the hospital wing and make a huge fuss when all he
wanted to do was to go back to the tower and sleep it off.
She seemed to sense something was wrong though when she asked. "Is everything
alright, Remus? Would you like to come back to the hospital wing with me for a
check-up?"
"No thank you" he said quietly willing the horrible sensations in his stomach
to go away.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes" Remus said taking slow deep breaths in through his mouth and out through
his nose.
They made their way back into the castle and up the stairs, Remus' stomach was
growing worse by the minute, he only hoped he could hold on long enough to get
by the nurse.
Finally they reached the Hospital wing corridor but Remus wasn't going to wait
around. "Bye Madame Pomfrey and thanks for the help again"
"My pleasure, Remus, come and see me if you need anything" she nodded.
Remus headed straight off up the stairs breathing deeply he moved faster and
faster until-
Remus' stomach jolted and before he could stop it, he vomited all over the
floor around his feet coughing and spluttering.
Groaning he turned and continued off up the stairs not wanting anyone to see
him like this. He didn't stop even as he clapped a hand over his mouth and ran
through the common room and up into his dormitory.
He burst through the door startling his friends.
"Hey Remus how did it-"
Remus threw himself into the bathroom slamming the door shut behind him. The
other three exchanged worried looks. Maybe it didn't go so well after all.
Another week had slowly passed, the fifth since the start of term and as
predicted, Remus still felt too ashamed to talk to Sirius.
Each morning he had woken to the same routine, up early, vomit his guts up,
sleep a few more hours, vomit some more, sit outside in the freezing cold, go
to lessons and be miserable the whole day.
"Three weeks until Hogsmeade" Sirius' voice drifted through the common room as
the four of them sat by the fire on Tuesday evening.
"Boys day out" said James stretching his arms up above his head. "Next time,
I'll ask Evans on a date" he mused.
"You always say that then you chicken out at the last moment" Remus butted in,
he sat facing the fire with his eyes closed allowing the warmth to wash over
him.
"I do not!" James protested scowling at Remus. The werewolf didn't even need to
make the effort to look at his friend to know James was pissed and glaring at
him he could feel it radiating in waves, and he smirked.
"Yeah you kinda do mate, Remus is right" Sirius teased.
"You're a sucker for her when she's around, she knows it, she can smell it like
an animal" Peter pointed.
"Hey don't call her an animal!" James argued thumping Peter on the leg. "Right
then Mister Moony, do tell me your oh so great dating advice that will land me
a date with the beautiful Miss Evans in a few weeks time then" James said in a
teasing voice.
Remus chuckled choosing to ignore James' first statement. "I suggest you grow
some balls and woo her properly, no crude jokes, no games, no sarcasm, lies,
bragging or gloating, deflate the ego and be a gentleman"
"He doesn't know how..." Sirius snickered earning a dangerous glare from James.
"Say's the guy who asked that Hufflepuff out during a snogging session
yesterday because you thought she was good"
Remus' eyes snapped open and he froze. "You're dating?!" The words jumped out
of his mouth before he could stop them. When the other's turned to stare at him
with confused looks on their faces he flushed and settled back down closing his
eyes trying to be as calm as possible.
"Umm yeah, met a nice little Hufflepuff girl few weeks ago, made out with her
and she has pretty good lips, might be a little easy too so I asked her out"
Sirius said casually.
"Pure class mate" James teased high fiving his friend.
Remus swallowed and bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying.
Sirius was dating? A woman?! Now he knew for sure Sirius wasn't gay Remus felt
so ashamed and disgusted with himself after what he'd done five weeks ago now,
he couldn't believe he could have been so stupid! Sirius really only did shag
him because he was bored and Remus handed it to him on a plate so easily he
must have looked like an absolute whore. Remus frowned, he was a guy so could
he call himself a whore? He was still a virgin after all.
And that's when it hit him.
Sirius hadn't taken his virginity, just used that weird painful potion and the
rest was all a blur, Remus could hardly remember the foreplay, well there
wasn't really any. He'd told Remus to take it so he couldn't take his virginity
because it would seem more like a woman, he could fuck him with no consequences
and leave.
It was all too much, Remus had to get out of here.
"Listen guys I don't feel very well I'm going to bed" he said abruptly getting
to his feet.
"Oh well okay, hope you feel better soon, Moony" said James.
Remus didn't wait for anyone else to say anything before he hurried off up the
stairs into the dormitory. Shutting the door behind him he took several deep,
calming breaths. This was all a dream, it just had to be. Sirius wasn't dating!
He couldn't be! Not HIS Sirius!
Remus gritted his teeth in anger, swinging around he launched a kick at the
wash basket sending it flying, dirty clothes and underwear scattering all
across the floor before he marched into the bathroom, washed his face and
brushed his teeth before changing and climbing into bed yanking those red and
gold drapes closed around him.
He knew he was in for it, he knew he didn't stand a chance now unless there was
some way he could really get Sirius' attention, some way he could make him see
what he was missing out on. He had to know what this girl was like, was she
pretty and nice or just a piece of meat?
Remus rolled onto his back and frowned gazing up at the canopy over his bed. He
had to make a plan.
First he would find out who this little Hufflepuff hussy was, then he would do
his best to get Sirius' attention in any way he could. A smirk crossed Remus'
face. He had several ideas in mind...
The next morning after his second round of vomiting, Remus headed down to sit
outside the great hall later than the others. He held his breath as he walked
past the great hall and found a bench plenty far enough away for his horribly
heightened sense of smell to struggle to trace the hot sausages and crispy
bacon which were oh so revolting right now.
By the time the others arrived back, Remus was feeling a bit better and they
headed off up to Transfiguration without a problem.
By the time the end of the day arrived, Remus couldn't be bothered, he wanted
to test his theory so instead of spending an hour or so in the library, he sat
in the dormitory finding new spells that could be used as pranks and wrote them
down, leaving the list on Sirius' bed he curled up under his own covers and was
sound asleep in minutes.
Two days had gone by and Remus' plan was set to go into action during first
lesson. Friday was always the best day for Remus, he was still vomiting,
headaches, nausea, tiredness and mood swings every five minutes he was
completely all over the place. His friends had been trying and trying again to
get him to go to the hospital wing but he simply refused and went on with his
business as usual.
As they were sitting in potions, Remus was sure to get beside Sirius today. Not
because he particularly wanted to speak to him but because he wanted to find
out about this Hufflepuff slut he was seeing.
Yes, the kind, sweet, compassionate Remus Lupin was calling some poor girl he
didn't even know names. So far his favourites were bitch, slut, whore but he
was willing to alternate, after all, she had stolen Sirius from him.
"So tell me about her" Remus said quietly as they set to work.
"Sorry?" Sirius blinked, obviously confused.
"The girl you're dating" Remus said. "What's she like?"
"Oh her, yeah she's quite nice and all, great kisser" Sirius shrugged casually.
There was something strange, if not awkward about him, like he didn't really
want to talk about her with Remus. But if James knew from earlier in the week
they must have spoken quite happily after, in fact Sirius must have told James
almost immediately after. Did that mean he didn't trust Remus?
"Cool so is she pretty? Fat, thing, tall, short? What does she look like?"
Remus probed a little further without taking his eyes off his work.
"Oh she's kinda thing, average sort of height, humongous boobs and a curvy arse
to die for" Sirius said casually.
"Oh right what year is she in?"
"Year below"
Remus was surprised at just how blunt Sirius was being about this, he had only
looked at Remus once throughout this whole conversation and that was at the
start.
"Fair enough" Remus said quietly.
They continued in this way throughout the lesson, Remus thought it best not to
say anything to Sirius especially not about Sirius' girlfriend. Although it did
seem suspicious the way he was talking about her.
"Alright everyone I'll call the register and you can come up and place your
homework on the front desk" Professor Slughorn said sweeping into his seat and
dipping his quill in the inkwell.
As he began to file off names, Remus grew increasingly uncomfortable in his
seat.
"Mister Lupin?"
"Yes" said Remus nervously.
Slughorn looked up at him and gestured to the growing pile of work on the desk.
"Homework"
It was now or never. "I haven't got it"
Evan James and Peter turned to stare dumbfounded at Remus.
Slughorn blinked, obviously confused. "Did you leave it in the common room?"
Remus shook his head. "No I just didn't bother doing it" he said haughtily.
Even some of the Slytherin's had turned to stare at him in confusion. Snape
whom had been improving over the past few lessons had even turned to stare at
him. This was so unlike Remus he normally did his homework and brought it in
dead on time or early for lessons, he'd never once missed it before.
Slughorn blinked. "The deadline was today"
"I don't care" Remus' voice shook a little, it was fairly obvious he was just
mouthing off for attention or something it was completely unlike him, the look
in his eyes was of fear, he was actually frightened of what Slughorn might do.
The teacher hesitated a moment before shaking his head. "Alright I'll have it
on my desk by Friday's lesson then seeing as you're a first time offender" he
frowned with concern at the young Gryffindor.
"Yes, Professor" Remus said nervously turning his attention on his work.
As Slughorn finished calling the register, Evan James and Peter got up to hand
in their work. When he sent them back to their class work, they all turned to
face Remus.
"What was that all about?" James asked, his voice as though this was some major
scandal.
Remus shrugged. Play it cool, Remus, don't let them know you're shitting bricks
here he thought to himself.
"That was really weird mate, you on drugs?"
Remus just laughed. "No, I don't care about homework" the lines came out far
more rehearsed than he would have liked them.
James, Sirius and Peter all exchanged worried, confused looks before shrugging
and turning back to their own work. Maybe the sickness was messing with his
head.
After the lesson they headed to Herbology, Remus still seemed in a strange
mood. He stopped outside the classroom taking several deep breaths.
"Everything okay?" a worried James asked.
Remus shook his head. "Feel sick again..."
"Do you want one of us to come toilet with you?" Peter offered. Remus just
shook his head. "Won't make it-" his stomach lurched and he threw himself
forward enough to hide behind an enormous stack of flower pots, vomiting into
the grass. The three other boys exchanged worried looks.
"I'll stay with him" said Peter.
James and Sirius nodded before they headed into the classroom. Peter wandered
around to stand and lean against the wall beside Remus.
"So trying to get some leverage?"
"Excuse me?" Remus blinked leaning forward waiting for the next wave of
sickness to come.
"I know what you're doing"
Remus' blood ran cold.
"You're trying to get some attention, to make people see you as a proper
Marauder like James, Sirius and me" Peter smirked.
Remus almost sighed with relief. Thank goodness he'd gotten it wrong. "Uhh not
really"
Peter just laughed. "Come on, Moony you're just as bad as we are even if you
are mister goodie two shoes!"
Remus wrinkled his nose, his stomach gave another turn.
A few minutes later they headed into lesson, Remus felt a little better like
he'd gotten it all up and could concentrate on the work somewhat easier.
For the rest of the day there was no mention of Sirius' girlfriend or anything
else for that matter. Remus felt too moody and tired to even bother trying to
cause a ruckus.
That evening when he fell into bed, he was asleep the minute his head hit the
pillow.
A couple of days passed and Friday arrived in the blink of an eye. Sirius had
disappeared off on Thursday evening to spend time with his unknown girlfriend,
Remus had debated following them to try and find out more about her but he was
just too tired for all that stealth and sneaking, he couldn't very well ask
James for his invisibility cloak for something like this, he didn't want any of
them to know.
Remus' sickness had not changed, every morning it was the same routine, wake
up, throw up, sleep and throw up again. The usual. His friends were getting
really worried about him, they'd been telling him to go and see Madame Pomfrey
again but he'd flat out refused, no way was he going to the hospital wing for
any other reason apart from getting patched up or checked over after a full
moon which wasn't due for a while yet.
"Come on boys cheer up, weekends nearly on us, what do you feel like doing?"
James asked slinging his arms around Sirius and Peter.
"We could do some sneaking around" Peter suggested.
"We could break into Hogsmeade again, or have another party"
Remus cringed at those words. No more parties, EVER.
"Ehh maybe that isn't such a good idea..." James said. "Remember what state we
were in last time, well, Remus especially"
"Don't remind me, my stomach is iffy enough..." the werewolf groaned. "No
parties, that's a definite no, no"
"Then maybe we won't have a party even if the last one was banging"
Remus' stomach almost turned when Sirius said that. Quite literally, yes it was
'banging'.
"Hmm well how about we just spend some quality time together, just the boys
nobody else, plotting and shit" James shrugged.
"I like that idea" Remus said quickly.
"I'm in as long as we can rob Honeydukes this weekend, just a few things not
loads"
"I can agree with that" said Peter.
"Alright then, weekend is sorted" James laughed.
They headed down to the great hall, Remus went to sit outside for a little
while. The grounds were growing so much colder now, winter was definitely on
its way in and Remus couldn't help but worry that if it got any colder he would
have to sit inside with that horrible stench up his nose making him feel sick
every five minutes.
After some time the others arrived with a bottle of lemon and lime flavoured
water for Remus saying it might help soothe his stomach before they headed off
up to lessons as usual.
Another week dragged on by and it was the end of week six. Remus had woken
every morning to that familiar churning in his stomach wishing it would go
away. He'd now taken to keeping the bucket by his bedside so he didn't have to
bother getting up in the mornings, no way was he going to bother running to the
bathroom anymore.
"Moony go to the hospital before we drag you there..." James warned pulling on
his trousers as Remus lay hanging off the edge of his bed.
"I don't need to I've got a virus" Remus said as he spat bitterly into his
bucket.
"Yes you bloody well do" James argued. "I'm sick of seeing you sick all the
time, do something about it you obviously need some medication!"
"It's my life and my choice if I don't want to go then I don't have to" Remus
argued. "I have had plenty of chances but I'm not going"
"Then you're only going to get worse" James snapped.
"Then that will be my fault not yours!"
"Would you two stop arguing you woke me up!" Sirius groaned appearing through
his drapes. He stood up, yawned and stretched his arms above his head his t-
shirt riding up exposing some of his pale, slender tummy.
Remus couldn't help but stare. He was so beautiful, so hot and sexy... And so
utterly unavailable and straight!
Damn women, damn hormones, damn heterosexuality and fucking damn Sirius! Remus
clenched his eyes shut and shifted back onto the bed properly pulling his bed
clothes over his head. "Tell the teachers I won't be in today I feel like utter
shite"
"That's not like you" Peter frowned.
"I don't give a damn" Remus grumbled from beneath his warm haven.
They all exchanged looks. For the past week Remus had been acting strangely on
and off, one minute he would see him like usual self and the next he would be
behaving like a totally different person, sometimes refusing to hand in
homework, being short with people and teachers, throwing around an 'I don't
care' attitude when his eyes said something totally different. They could see
sometimes it was a little forced and sometimes it was as though Remus was
trying a little too hard with it but for what reason they did not know.
Remus had also been incredibly hacked off about Sirius and his girlfriend,
thinking up new names and insults for her. Imagining what it would be like if
he finally met her, what he would say to her, think of her, what she would
really be like. The thought of her being able to touch, hug, kiss and love
Sirius and have him return it made Remus' stomach churn uneasily at any time of
day. He hated the person he was becoming over this.
A few days passed and Remus' mood went from bad to worse. That morning he'd
told his friends to go on he was going to sit outside of lesson for a little
while longer and wait for the sickness to pass, he did what any caring friend
would have done in that situation.
"I am an absolute mess..." he groaned. "I have got to figure out a way to pass
all this over, to take their suspicion and concern off of me so they stop
badgering me but how?"
"They say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness..." came a
voice from just behind Remus.
The werewolf almost jumped out of his skin, clutching his chest a fresh wave of
sickness appeared as he whirled around on the bench coming face to face with
Severus Snape.
"Don't look too surprised to see me, Lupin, I do live here" the Slytherin said
bitterly.
"Is there something you want, Severus?" Remus asked calmly. He always liked to
play it calm with him, he didn't believe in bullying him for no reason like his
friends did.
"I don't want anything from you except to know why you're sitting out here all
alone in the cold, where are your sad little friends now? Have they gone off
and left you?" he pouted nastily.
Remus did not rise to it. "No actually I told them to go ahead, I don't feel
very well and sitting out here really helps, I didn't want them to be late for
lessons"
Severus looked taken aback. Plan failed.
"Severus what do you want exactly?" Remus sighed, he was beginning to grow a
little impatient with the boy.
"Nothing I'm going to lesson" the Slytherin said gruffly before marching past
and heading back inside.
Remus sighed and waited for a good fifteen minutes before he headed back
inside. He really couldn't be bothered with today he'd already had enough of
just about everything. He hated feeling so used and alone, he hated feeling so
embarrassed about what happened with Sirius, he hated being queer, he hated his
life. Remus just wished something would come along and change this miserable
excuse he had for a life, at this moment, he would take anything...
Two more weeks rolled on by and Remus was still being sick. His wish was yet to
come true as every day he felt more and more miserable and confused. His
emotions were all over the place, he'd wake up in the morning feeling horribly
depressed and miserable, halfway through the morning he would suddenly feel
overwhelming sadness even during class, a few times he'd had to step out and he
wasn't even sure why. Then by lunch he was abnormally chatty until Sirius or
someone else mentioned something about his girlfriend, Remus would be right
down past zero on the mood scale, anger, bitter jealousy and sadness would wash
over him and soon turn to happiness again over simple, stupid things. He felt
like sobbing his eyes out for no reason sometimes and tears would frequently
come to his eyes over the most pathetic things even things that normally
wouldn't bother him in the slightest. Everything felt like a ridiculously big
deal and he did not want to feel this way anymore. He was exhausted both
physically and emotionally and couldn't wait for this shit to end.
There was one good thing that came out of all this mess. At least it took his
mind off of Sirius the entire time.
Oh who was he kidding? He couldn't get Sirius out of his head. He ate, slept
and breathed Sirius Black and it hurt just to know he would never be his.
"Are we all set for Hogsmeade tomorrow?" James grinned flopping down on his bed
with a Quidditch magazine.
"Yeah I wanna get some Butterbeer" Sirius grinned eagerly. "Fucking love the
stuff, what about you, Moony?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah" Remus smiled weakly up at him where he was sitting reading
through his Ancient Runes text. "I want to go to Honeydukes and actually buy
things for a change and then go to the book shop"
"Books?" James wrinkled his nose with disgust.
Peter blew a raspberry with utter distaste earning a glare from Remus. "Books
are so boring!"
"Books are fun and educational, people who read open their minds up far more
than those whom sit around staring at trashy magazines all day" Remus' eyes
settled on James earning a flash of the middle finger for that one.
"Books make me fall asleep!" Sirius sighed stretching out across his bed.
"That's because you haven't found the right genre" Remus said. "I love books
and if you don't want to come that's fine I'll go by myself and meet you
somewhere after" he smiled gently.
"Sounds good to me" James yawned.
"I think I'm gonna go to sleep now guys" Remus yawned marking his page and
placing his book on the opposite bedside table just in case he accidentally
dropped it in the sick bucket or something and it got ruined.
"Alright, night Remus" James said.
"Night"
"Night Moony" Sirius smiled.
"Goodnight, Sirius" Remus said quietly before closing his drapes and slipping
beneath the covers. He let out a long drawn out breath and closed his eyes.
Hopefully tomorrow would be relatively enjoyable...
The next morning Remus woke to exactly the same thing. His eyes opened and he
groaned rolling onto his side and leaning over the edge of the bed. He barely
had to wait a minute before his stomach heaved and he vomited as quietly as
possible into the bucket below until he dry heaved.
"Oh fuck..." he gasped rolling over onto his back and gazing up at the canopy
above him. "I've never felt so shit in my life"
Wait am I talking to myself again? Remus groaned and rolled his eyes rubbing
them lazily with his hands. "Maybe Snape is right and I am going mad"
"Remus who are you talking to?" Peter called through his curtains.
"Nobody just myself" Remus said.
"You know that's the –"
"First sign of madness, yeah I got that thanks" Remus called back. He groaned
again and rolled onto his side leaning over the edge of the bed as another wave
of nausea hit.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
An hour later when the sickness had finally worn off, Remus slipped out from
behind his curtains and took the bucket into the bathroom emptying it down the
toilet and flushing it. He rinsed off his hands before heading back to the
dormitory, picking up his wand he pointed it to the gag-worthy remains on the
inside of said bucket.
"Scourgify" he yawned watching the pink soap bubbles foam and destroy the mess
before he shoved it into his cloak pocket and pulled on his clothes.
He didn't feel too awful this morning to be honest, he was sure he'd gotten all
the sick up now but he wasn't quite as bad tempered as he had been the past
week or so his mood was slightly elevated.
"We're off for something to eat, you coming with?" Sirius asked as Remus pulled
on his shoes and remained sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Nah I'll meet you down there in ten minutes I don't want to smell the food it
might make me sick again" Remus said.
"Well okay, see you in a bit then" said James as they headed out of the
dormitory.
Remus sighed resting his head in his hands. He only hoped today would be enough
to take his mind off of Sirius. Maybe just being alone for a while in a
different setting would be good, maybe just having a day out would really help
him and take his mind off of his shitty troubles.
Ten minutes later as promised, Remus headed down the staircases and met his
friends in the great hall.
"Feeling better?" Peter asked as Remus joined them.
"Yeah not so bad today" Remus smiled weakly as they headed through the main
doors. He pulled his scarf around himself properly and rubbed his hands
together when a wave of cold air hit them.
It was early November and a light mist hung in the air around the grounds,
winter was definitely upon them and in just a few short weeks the snow would
begin to fall blanketing the beautiful grounds in a thick layer of white.
Remus loved the winter just for the beauty of everything, the way it was all so
magical, Christmas really wasn't Christmas without snow.
On the other hand he despised the winter because of his transformations. No
doubt he would be all snuggly and warm in his wolf form but in his human one in
the minutes it took to transform and after he'd changed back were horrible. But
he was used to it by now.
They made their way down to the gates stopping by the carriages. Most of the
time they walked to and from the village but Remus' stomach was iffy and he
wanted to sit down, a nice relaxing carriage ride may help to soothe his
stomach. And the scenery was always an added bonus.
"Attention everyone!" Professor McGonagall's voice called over the heads of
students. "The carriages will be leaving the village on every hour until five
thirty this afternoon, anyone caught in the village will be severely punished
but you may head back any time you wish. We've got your names down so there
will be no funny business" she said. "Off we go then"
Everyone turned and scrambled into the carriages. James grabbed one and thrust
the door open clambering in with the three other boys in tow. Peter snapped the
door shut and they sat talking until the carriage started moving.
Remus took a window seat and nobody argued about that seeing as he could
potentially vomit at any moment, better out the window than all over everything
and everyone inside.
The carriages set off, trundling down the lane. Remus paid pretty much no
attention to his friends conversation instead just gazed out the window at the
beautiful scenery. His mind was elsewhere today.
By the time they arrived they were eager and anxious to get shopping.
"Let's go to the supply shop first, then the pub, then Honeydukes and Remus can
go in his book shop afterwards whilst we go back to the pub and he can meet us
there for a bit then we can head back" Sirius said quickly as they hopped out
of the carriage.
"Sounds great to me!" Peter grinned eagerly.
"Yeah that's fine" James shrugged stretching his arms above his head.
They made their way through the main gateway and into the pretty little
village. Remus was right this definitely did help to elevate his mood.
They followed the pathway through the village and towards the end of the lane,
stopping outside the supply shop. It sold pretty much everything from potion
ingredients, to books, to the odd second hand robes, to writing equipment even
the odd Quidditch supply. There were shops for most things already in Hogsmeade
but this one always managed to do very well.
"I need some parchment and ink" James said as they made their way into the cosy
little shop.
"I need to get a new quill" Sirius said.
"You chewed your other one to bits" James laughed.
"I know, tasted nasty as well" Sirius wrinkled his nose with disgust.
Half an hour later of deciding which to buy, they left the shop and made their
way along to the Three Broomsticks laughing and pissing around as usual.
Heading inside, James and Peter went to get the drinks as Sirius and Remus got
a quiet booth over the back.
They sat down, Remus felt so awkward and nervous around Sirius especially after
what happened, he could only hope James and Peter would hurry up with their
drinks.
After a few moments of silence, Remus decided to say something.
"I'm surprised you aren't spending today with your girlfriend or taking her out
on a date"
Sirius glanced to Remus and to the werewolf's surprise he chuckled and shook
his head. "No just a day out with the boys for me thanks"
"Okay" said Remus unsure of what else to do.
"I really miss being your friend, Remus, you've been so off with me recently I
just want us to go back to the way they were"
Remus swallowed and looked away unsure if he could handle this conversation
right now without bursting into tears. Sirius just wanted to be friends, just
friends. "Right" he said quietly.
"Because I have no idea what's been going on with you lately but I want to see
you happy and back to your old self again" Sirius replied.
"I'm sick, when I start feeling better I'll be fine" Remus said calmly.
"I don't know what's going on but I'm worried so promise me you're not mad at
me for something because I really have no clue what I've done wrong" Sirius
sighed shaking his head.
Remus dared to spare him a look, Sirius' face was contorted with worry, his
eyebrows furrowed and his eyes filled with genuine concern.
Remus just shook his head. "You wouldn't understand..."
"Try me" Sirius said.
Remus sighed. "Well-"
"Drinks!" James grinned as he and Peter rested them down on the table.
Remus only ordered juice for now, maybe later on when he was sure his stomach
was settled then he would drink some Butterbeer.
"Thanks" Remus said sipping at it carefully until he realised his stomach was
alright to handle it.
They talked for over an hour and had a second round of drinks before finally
they got up and left the pub.
Remus shuddered as the cool air blew against his face after being in such a
warm, cosy setting for so long. Maybe they should have just stayed in there but
at least he wasn't nauseous.
"What's the time?"
"Just gone twelve" said Sirius.
That could be why he didn't feel sick. The morning was over for just another
day. Less than twenty four hours in fact until Remus threw up again. Oh the
joys.
"To Honeydukes, we go!" James grinned.
They hurried along the path laughing and chatting until the reached the bright
little shop.
It was already fairly crowded as they made their way inside, James grabbing
pretty much anything he could get his grubby hands on.
Remus sighed and picked up two bars of chocolate, maybe he'd feel like eating
them later on.
He went to the tills and kindly paid the old man they'd been robbing from for
so long before shoving the chocolate into his bag and making his way outside
again.
He waited for a few minutes until the others came back loaded up on sweets and
chocolates.
"Right you wanted to go to that book shop didn't you, Remus?" Sirius said.
Remus nodded. "Yeah so I guess I'll meet you guys in the Three Broomsticks in a
bit, maybe an hour or so?"
"Yeah let's say... quarter to two?" James said checking the time on his pocket
watch.
Remus nodded again. "Yeah see you then" he said before turning and making his
way off down the lane in the opposite direction to his friends.
He didn't stop walking for around five minutes until he reached the cosy little
bookshop. Making his way inside the young man at the counter looked up and
smiled briefly before turning his attention back on his newspaper.
Remus made his way through the rows of shelves towards the back where the
genuinely better books were kept. They did sell school books in here but Remus
didn't need any of those right now.
He sighed running his finger along the spines of the fresh, brand new books. He
absolutely loved the smell of them, whenever he was in the library he felt like
he was home.
"Finally some peace and quiet..." he breathed picking a few books off the shelf
as he began filing through them.
Remus lost track of time in there, so far he'd chosen two rather interesting
books on Astronomy and Wizarding politics to read. He was making his way
through the shelves noticing a new second had been added about dark creatures,
curiously he took a look at it leaning over the little desk in front, much like
they had in the library at Hogwarts.
He sighed as his eyes drifted over the novel spines... Vampires, Hinkypunk's,
Grindylow's and other aquatic monsters, Goblins, there was an entire shelf
dedicated to dragons and finally at the bottom, Werewolves.
Remus picked up a copy of one of the thicker books entitled 'Werewolves, are
they really as bad as they seem?' curiously he began flicking through the
pages, it seemed pretty good! Before something else caught his eye...
In the next shelf over to the left, against the wall and along the bottom two
rows was a section dedicated to Wizarding illness.
Glancing over his shoulder, Remus took a seat in front of it and began scanning
over the titles. Perhaps he would find something that applied to him.
'Magical lumps, bumps and frumps' – No.
'Dragonpox and other childhood ailments' –No.
'What kind of bite is that?' – Remus almost laughed, but no.
'Poisons' – No.
As Remus continued to browse the shelf something caught his eye.
It was a small but thick A5 book wedged in between 'How to clean your own
wounds' and 'If it's blue, cut it off'.
His eyes narrowed and his heart skipped a beat. 'Male Pregnancy'.
What the fuck? Remus thought, glancing over his shoulder to make sure nobody
was watching his curiosity overrode him and he picked it up.
The front cover was jet black and hard soft cover. Apparently the title had
only been scrawled across the binding.
Remus felt like he really shouldn't be doing this but his curiosity was getting
the better of him and he opened the book, the contents page was an enormous two
page list of everything to do with pregnancy, from symptoms to birth. Remus
felt sick to his stomach, how on Earth could a man become pregnant.
Flipping to the brief introduction he began to read.
'Either you've chosen this book out of curiosity or you fear you may be
pregnant, well this book is written to help those in need of reassurance and
guidance. In case you're wondering, yes, male pregnancy is indeed a real thing,
and although rare it can happen through only a couple of ways. The first being
through use of a spell named 'Foesum-incantatem' or through use of a potion
named the 'Trenceptous' potion, both of which create an opening behind a man's
genitals effectively pushing the inside of his penis forward possibly making it
appear longer temporarily, the opening does require the male to have sexual
intercourse with another male and although it is rare, male pregnancy can occur
for some individuals much the same way as it would with a man and a woman. The
child will be both yours and the man you've had intercourse with's just the
same as a heterosexual couple, if you fear this may be you or someone you know
then turn to page ten where I begin to describe the symptoms and what do if you
suspect conception'.
Remus almost laughed, was this some sort of creepy joke? No it couldn't be
otherwise it wouldn't be in this section and the owner wouldn't stock it if it
really was just some mental case writing it. He chuckled to himself, who in the
right frame of mind would use a potion to create an opening behind their balls
and then have sex with it?
And that's when it hit him.
Remus' face fell dramatically. Oh shit, oh fuck, oh bugger, oh Merlin!
He and Sirius had done that...
Remus swallowed the lump that appeared in this throat and quickly flipped to
page ten of the curious book. No, it couldn't happen to him, surely not, he was
a teenage boy and werewolf! These things just couldn't happen to him...
'Welcome to page ten where we begin exploring symptoms and what to do if you
think you may be pregnant' Remus read.
The most first symptom that will occur in both male and female pregnancy is
mood swings. One minute you may be feeling happy and alert, the next you may be
crying your eyes out, full of anger, confusion, such a wide, confusing and
dramatic change of moods that leave you feeling exhausted.
Unusual tiredness. If you're someone who normally feels alright from day to day
and suddenly around three weeks or more after intercourse via the potion or
spell, it may be a symptom of pregnancy. This will last throughout, mainly in
the first trimester which is up until the end of week thirteen. You may be
falling asleep at work or whilst at home, it's not unusual to be tired by lunch
time and need to have a quick nap to refresh yourself.
Morning sickness. Often the first symptom people really take note of. Each
morning they may wake up nauseous or vomiting without explanation and no prior
food the night before is required to make them heave or vomit this usually
stops around weeks twelve to fourteen. If you do not have morning sickness this
does not necessarily mean you aren't pregnant.
Remus' head was spinning, he felt sick to his stomach. Could this really be
what was happening? No Maybe there was some other explanation for this, maybe
he should check the other symptoms just in case.
Headaches.
Light headedness.
Stomach and back cramps.
Frequent urination.
Lowered sex drive.
Possibly cravings.
A positive pregnancy test.
When the opening does not go away after a few days.
Remus wasn't sure what to do, he felt sick, he felt confused and now extremely
worried. He was having almost every one of those symptoms, could he really be
pregnant?
How long had it been since he and Sirius had slept together at the start of
term?
"Eight weeks..." he breathed closing his eyes in a long slow blink. Quickly he
glanced at the bottom of the second page where the words glistened. 'If you
suspect you may be pregnant the best thing you can do is take a home pregnancy
test which can be purchased from your local chemist'
Remus knew what he had to do now, even if he felt silly and embarrassed over
it. Nobody ever need know. He had to take a test.
Checking the time on his pocket watch he cursed under his breath, he was late
as it was would a few more minutes hurt? Quickly he picked up his books and one
on dragons before hurrying over to the counter and smiling sheepishly at the
shop keeper.
He yawned pushing away his paper before pulling the books through the check-
out, Remus tensed as he placed the male pregnancy book in the bag but
thankfully he didn't seem to notice what it was, that or he just didn't care.
Remus handed over the money and waited for his change before hurrying out of
the shop thankfully the bag was pretty much black made from a thick paper
substance and on two strings, the man always placed a layer of tissue in over
the top to protect the books so it hid them pretty well.
Remus walked with his head down scurrying along he turned the end of the street
and made his way down the next one stopping around halfway down.
There were some students about and a couple of the Professor's. None of which
seemed to notice him.
Taking a deep breath Remus took the plunge and made his way into the shop.
A bell rang out as Remus entered closing the door behind him. The man behind
the counter didn't even look up as he walked nervously into the shop scanning
the short aisles for the right section.
After a couple of minutes he found it over the back left hand corner.
His eyes fell upon the shelves as he searched them.
Condoms that tingle, colour change ones, flavoured ones, ones that went from
hot to cold. Remus had to wonder just who would buy these until finally he
spotted exactly what he was looking for.
'Whizzing pregnancy test, whizz on a stick and get the result instantly, 100%
accurate new and improved!'
Remus' cheeks burned with shame as he picked a box up and made his way
nervously to the counter. Would they even serve him?
"Good afternoon" the man behind the counter smiled as Remus nervously placed
the pregnancy test on the counter averting his eyes, he could feel his cheeks
burning with the shame of it all.
"Is that everything?" the man asked putting it in a small paper bag for Remus.
"Yes" Remus said quietly avoiding his eyes as he handed over the money.
The man counted it before handing Remus back his change. "Good luck to your
girlfriend" he waved as Remus hurried out of the door.
He rammed the paper bag deep into his school bag before hurrying off to the pub
with his head down. He'd never felt so ashamed in all of his life.
He hurried back to the Three Broomsticks his head buzzing with thoughts. As he
headed inside he spotted his friends sitting in the same booth as before, he
hurried over and sat down.
"Remus where the hell have you been it's going on three!" James exasperated.
"Sorry I lost track of time" Remus said, well it wasn't a lie.
"Get anything good?" Sirius asked peering into the bag. Remus snatched it up
quickly looking extremely worried.
To his surprise his friend's faces spread into smirks.
"Ohh you been buying dirty magazines or something?" James grinned his eyes
sparkling mischievously.
"No!"
"Oh he has look at his face it's all red" Sirius teased.
"Planning on a wank?" Peter laughed.
"No I'm really not" Remus snapped. "If you're going to hassle me then I'll just
go home!"
"Bloody hell Remus calm down!" James gasped.
"We were only messing" said Peter.
"Well I don't want to be messed about with" Remus sighed.
"I'll get you a drink" Sirius said getting up.
"Thanks..."
Sirius came back with a Butterbeer handing it over to Remus whom tried to pay
him but Sirius refused.
They sat for over an hour chatting, Remus slowly began to relax throughout the
time they were there, he still felt nervous, embarrassed and worried.
What if it came back positive? What if he really was pregnant?
If he wasn't he'd bought that book for nothing... still it would probably make
a pretty interesting read either way.
A while later and James spoke again.
"Shall we get going then?"
"Yeah I've had enough of this for one day" Sirius yawned. "Besides I wanna get
back and pig out on the sweets I paid for this time" he chuckled.
"Yeah I'm really tired" Remus yawned getting to his feet.
They pulled their cloaks tighter around themselves as they headed out into the
cold once again.
As they headed back to the gates and climbed into the carriages, Remus couldn't
take his mind off of the test. When would he take it where his friends wouldn't
see? Was there a certain way it was done or a time of day he had to do it?
"You're a bit quiet" James said when they finally arrived back at the castle.
"Hmm? No I'm fine I just need some food and a nap" Remus smiled weakly as they
made their way back up towards the school.
They headed up into the entrance hall, Remus couldn't be bothered to take his
bag back to the dorm so he followed his friends into the great hall and took
his seat at the Gryffindor table.
Piling his plate with food, although nervous, he felt extremely hungry this
evening.
The other's watched as Remus polished off two portions of salad, steak and
chips with mashed potato and gravy, a slice of chocolate cake, cheesecake, ice
cream and apple pie as well as downing an entire jug of pumpkin juice.
"Feeling hungry, Remus?" James quirked an eyebrow as Remus finally finished
eating.
"Yeah I don't know what came over me today" he chuckled. "Probably all the
walking"
"Well at least you seem a bit better today"
"I wasn't any better this morning and I still don't feel great" Remus said. "I
just feel really hungry is all" he shrugged a sneaking suspicion of what it
might be made him shudder.
They got up and made their way through the entrance hall and up the staircases.
Remus felt drained physically and mentally, he couldn't take his mind off of
what he'd read this afternoon in that fucking book. What if it was right? What
if he was pregnant with a real baby?
Remus closed his eyes in a long slow blink as they headed into the common room,
his friends went to sit down around the fire but he had other plans.
"Listen I'm gonna head up I'm knackered after today" he sighed.
"Alright we'll see you in a bit" said Sirius a look of concern crossing his
face.
Remus yawned and traipsed upstairs shutting the dormitory door behind him. He
shoved his bag under the bed. Nervously he stripped into his underwear before
pulling on his nightshirt. Glancing to the door Remus froze listening to the
silence for a good few moments before he slipped his hand into his school bag
and pulled out the paper bag.
Taking a nervous deep breath he opened it and pulled out the box turning it
over to read the instructions.
'This test is new and improved from our 99.8% effective test to 100% effective
on the twelve thousand women we have tested on, ultra-sensitive, testing for
HCG hormones it can detect them as early as a missed period usually around
fourteen days after intercourse. Best taken when urine is most concentrated in
the morning but can be effective throughout the day. If taken too soon it is
possible a false negative can occur. Simply whizz on the felt, recap and wait
for results in seconds! Pink plus for positive, blue minus for negative, it
really is that easy!'
"Maybe I'd better do this in the morning" he sighed stuffing it into the top
drawer of his bedside table.
Closing it over he headed into the bathroom for a quick wash and brushed his
teeth. Remus had no idea what to think his mind had so many thoughts to
comprehend it had gone totally blank. Probably the best option for now.
He made his way into the dormitory, pushing the bucket closer to his bed he
clambered in under the covers and drew the drapes shut around the bed debating
on whether or not to pull that book out for a read.
Deciding against it and not wanting to worry himself over potentially nothing,
Remus curled up in a ball and allowed sleep to overcome him.
It was a good three hours before the others returned to the tower.
Remus awoke early the next morning his stomach incredibly uneasy.
Why oh why did he eat so much for dinner?
Rolling onto his side he groaned propping himself up a little, his messy blonde
hair falling in his eyes as he leaned over the side of the bed waiting to be
sick.
His stomach gave an almighty heave and he vomited into the bucket coughing and
spluttering.
Why did this have to happen to him?
Remus' eyes snapped wide open. Oh shit, the pregnancy test, he'd have to take
it in a few minutes before the others woke up.
Taking several deep, soothing breaths he climbed out of bed and reached for his
uniform, pulling it on he vomited into the bucket once more before snatching
the bag from the bedside drawer and picking up the bucket, he headed into the
bathroom.
Now he was nervous. A million thoughts raced through Remus' head.
What if it was positive? What if it was negative? What would he do? Was that
book some kind of joke? Was he wasting money on something like this even if the
books symptoms matched his own...
How long had it been since they'd had sex again? Eight weeks?
"Two months..." Remus breathed as he emptied the bucket into the toilet and
flushed. Carefully he rinsed it out before placing it on the floor, listening
intently for a minute or so he deemed his friends were asleep before pulling
the test from his bag.
Crumpling the paper bag he tossed it in the bin before opening the box and
taking the test from it. It was a small, almost oblong device. Towards the left
hand side sat a screen where the result would be displayed, on the other a
felted side with a small plastic cap waited for him to use.
Checking the instructions on the back again, Remus threw the box into the sink
igniting it with his wand and watching it burn to ashes before simply rinsing
it away. Now there was no chance that his friends would find the packaging.
Taking a nervous deep breathe gazed at his sorry reflection in the mirror. If
this test was positive it would be the last time he ever looked at himself the
same again, it would change his life forever.
Closing his eyes in a long slow blink, Remus nodded once.
"I'm ready" he whispered making his way over to the toilet.
He pulled himself out of his trousers, uncapped the test and held it in
position as he began to urinate on it. When he was done he placed the cap over
the felted end, flushed the toilet, dropped the seat and sat down to wait
staring at the little screen.
If he was pregnant it wouldn't just be his baby, it would be Sirius' too. What
was he thinking? He wasn't pregnant he was a boy! Just a messed up kid who'd
happened to come across a book written as a joke, by a nut job and thought he
was pregnant. How many women a year suspected pregnancy but it turned out to be
nothing?
Only he wasn't a woman, this was so much more complicated than that.
Remus closed his eyes clenching the tightly. He could only hope for the best
and if he was pregnant he'd go and see Madame Pomfrey to confirm it right away.
Either way, if he was pregnant, Remus knew already there was no turning back,
he would keep the baby.
Taking several deep, calming breaths, Remus opened his eyes.
And there forming on the little screen was that little pink plus sign.
"I'm pregnant..." Remus breathed...
***** Chapter 4 Silence *****
His whole world came crashing down around him, the walls were shattering, the
barriers of his life crumbling to pieces as he continued to stare at that
unholy pink plus sign. His life, loves, dreams. What would his parents say?
What would they think of their only son pregnant at fifteen? He'd be sixteen
with a new born baby, what was he going to do?
Remus put his head in his hands. And Sirius. Oh Merlin! Sirius...
Taking several deep calming breaths, Remus raised his head, straightened up and
pocketed the test. Maybe this was some silly fluke maybe if he just went to
Madame Pomfrey she would be able to help him. Maybe he wasn't really pregnant
that the test had just fucked up or something, and his body had some kind of
infection and he was just being paranoid. Maybe this was all some silly little
dream.
Sighing, Remus washed his hands splashing cool water on his face trying to calm
himself down and headed back into the dormitory. Making his way over to his
bed, his face pale and grim his friends looked up, watching him as he slung his
back over his shoulder and headed straight for the door without a word.
"Remus where are you going?" asked James.
"To see Madame Pomfrey"
"Finally you've seen the light!" James laughed.
"Want one of us to come with you?" Sirius asked worriedly but Remus just shook
his head.
"No thanks" he said just before he abruptly shut the door behind him.
Remus' head was buzzing with thoughts, his ears were ringing and he felt sick
to his stomach, not just from his supposed morning sickness but from the whole
prospect of what was happening.
He couldn't think, he could barely breathe as he made his way through the
common room and out onto the staircases. He drifted mindlessly down lower and
lower until he reached the hospital wing corridor. He didn't hesitate as he
walked quickly down feeling increasingly nervous with every step he took.
What was going to happen to him now? Would he be kicked out of school, sent
home? Would he even have a home to go back to? Remus chewed nervously on his
bottom lip his brows creased into a frown as he shuffled along the corridor to
meet his fate.
It wasn't long before finally he stopped outside the hospital wing door
shifting from one foot to the other nervously. It was now or never, he had to
find out for sure, he had to take responsibility and man up to this.
Closing his eyes in a long slow blink, Remus took his deep breath and made his
way inside.
The hospital wing was its usual warm, clean self, the light stench of cleaning
products and charms filled the air around him, it wasn't unpleasant or
uncomfortable.
Madame Pomfrey was straightening up the fresh bedding on one of the beds and
looked up as Remus closed the door and appeared through the archway, frankly a
little surprised to see him at this time of the month.
"Oh hello Remus, what can I do for you today?" she blinked.
Remus said nothing, he averted his eyes and shifted from one foot to the other
nervously chewing on his bottom lip.
"Remus?"
Pull yourself together you're supposed to be handling this in a mature way!
What would anyone think if they saw you like this now? You have to deal with
this problem head on to know for sure it might just be a mistake Remus thought
to himself.
Slowly Remus made his way closer to the nurse, shoving his hand deep into his
pocket he grasped the test nervously.
"If I were to tell you something, would you promise to keep this just between
us?" he spoke slowly looking her straight in the eye.
"Of course, I have to respect student confidentiality" she replied. "I like to
take pride in that as a nurse, why, what's wrong?" she asked her eyebrows
creasing down into a frown.
Remus exhaled a shaky breath. "I'm pregnant" he said slowly.
The words seemed to ring out forever into the still air, he watched as Madame
Pomfrey's face lit up with a thousand expressions in the space of two seconds.
There was an awkward silence...
"Come again?"
"I'm pregnant" Remus breathed his stomach was churning with nerves, his cheeks
red with shame and humiliation. What was he thinking? He must sound like an
absolute lunatic right now.
"Remus are you sure about this? What on Earth would make you think-"
Remus said nothing but pulled out the pregnancy test and handed it over. The
little pink plus sign was still very clearly visible.
"I was in the book shop in Hogsmeade, I came across his book and just out of
curiosity I picked it up and started reading thinking maybe it was some sort of
joke but then I actually noticed some of the symptoms matched things I was
having like mood swings, tiredness, morning sickness, nausea, aches and so on,
it worried me and I read that it can be caused by only a couple of ways one
being this potion and at the start of the year my friend and I used it and had
intercourse in the place the potion created, the book said it's rare but
possible for a guy to fall pregnant so I bought a test, took it this morning
and well, it's positive" Remus swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat.
Madame Pomfrey's mouth fell open, she quickly closed it and shook her head a
little.
"Could you please check that this is right? I'm really worried I'm so scared
about this I really need some help and advice" Remus asked nervously.
"Of course I will help you, have a seat on the bed furthest to the back, draw
the curtain around and I will be back in a few short moments" she nodded
quickly straightening herself up.
"Thank you" said Remus as he hurried off and did as he was told.
He sat waiting wringing his hands with nerves. What if he was pregnant? What if
he wasn't and he'd just made an absolute fool out of himself.
Minutes later and the nurse replied pushing some sort of machine with her.
Remus watched as she pushed it over to the side of the bed and began fidgeting
with it a moment before she reached into her apron and snapped on some latex
gloves.
"If you could just lie back and expose your navel for me, make yourself
comfortable and we can take a little look to see what's going on in there" she
smiled gently.
Remus nodded once and shifted around settling himself back against the propped
up, fluffed pillows. Nervously he exposed his stomach and lay watching as she
pulled out a white tube of clear gel and squeezed it onto his stomach.
"It's cold" he chuckled as she spread it around with her fingers.
"It'll warm up in a minute" she smiled trying to keep Remus as calm as
possible. She reached over and lifted the scanner head from the side of the
machine, tapping her wand against the top three times slowly he held it above
his navel.
"Are you ready?"
Remus nodded slowly and closed his eyes. He couldn't even watch as he felt the
scanner resting on his skin, shifting around a little it came into focus on the
screen.
Moments passed and there was nothing until finally Madame Pomfrey spoke again.
"Remus... look..." she said quietly.
Slowly the boy opened his eyes and what he saw hit him like a ten ton
Hippogriff. On the screen before his eyes was the image of a moving, flickering
tiny baby.
Remus' lips parted, his eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat.
Madame Pomfrey smiled up into his face watching the overwhelmed expressions
flicker through his soft blue eyes. She could see tears welling up inside of
them.
"T-that's inside me?" he breathed barely able to move his lips he was so
stunned.
"Yes it is and by the looks of things you're about two months along, eight
weeks" said the nurse.
Remus couldn't stop the tears from trickling down his cheeks, it was incredibly
overwhelming seeing the baby for the first time. He had no idea this weekend
would be like this, he had no idea he would be actually seeing the little thing
growing inside of him, despite it not being ideal, Remus couldn't help but feel
love towards his baby. It was a mini him and a mini Sirius too.
"I'm sorry I just-"
"It's very emotional isn't it? Especially for someone of your age" Madame
Pomfrey said calmly shifting the scanner around a little more. "Everything
looks fine in there, absolutely wonderful, good strong heart and a lovely
healthy baby" she smiled. "All normal so there's nothing to worry about"
"I am so shocked..." Remus breathed as the nurse removed the scanner and tapped
her wand to the top of the machine again.
"Remus I do have to ask if you plan to go through with this pregnancy?" she
asked quietly.
"Yes! No question about it" he said firmly. "I could never-" Remus
automatically swallowed. No, he couldn't even mention that word...
"Very well and you plan to keep the baby after he or she is born?"
Remus nodded. "Yes"
"Very well then it is my duty to offer you as much support, help and guidance
as I can" she said. "You're going to be due between May the twenty eighth and
June the fifth, it is difficult to give an exact date as most babies are born
before or after their due date they don't very often come on time, but you're
eight weeks gone out of forty now, so another thirty two weeks and you will be
due"
"Okay" Remus nodded swallowing the lump in his throat. He couldn't believe this
was happening. It was so difficult to and so much to take in.
"You'll need to take some prenatal vitamin supplements I will get for you, I
will also provide you with a week by week guide to pregnancy that you'll find
really useful, I'll leave this area set up you're welcome to come in any time
and use it for whatever you want, if you just need some quiet time or space
away from everything, if you need someone to talk to or you're worried about
anything pop in and I will be happy to help" the nurse smiled.
"Thank you"
"Have you been suffering much with your morning sickness?"
Remus nodded. "I've been throwing up every morning, sometimes in the day too
for weeks now and I am tired of it"
"Very well I'll sign you a slip to take to Professor Slughorn he will be able
to make you something to relieve that symptom but you will need to tell him
what it's for but I'm sure he will guess anyway" Madame Pomfrey said.
"Okay" Remus breathed closing his eyes in a long slow blink. He didn't really
want the teachers to know but for the sake of the baby it was probably best
they were aware of his situation for his own safety.
"And Remus?"
The boy looked up.
"Forgive me for prying but who is the father?" she asked curiously.
Remus sank his teeth into his bottom lip and refused to answer.
A few seconds went by and Madame Pomfrey sighed. "It's alright if you don't
want to tell me I understand but he does have a right to know it is his baby
too, tell him whenever you're ready but the sooner the better don't leave this
to go on and on throughout your pregnancy or you will regret it later"
"I just don't think it's right to tell him..."
"Well he is the father after all this is not solely your responsibility he
needs to help you too even if he doesn't want the baby he's obliged to help you
financially anyway" the nurse said.
Remus swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat. What if Sirius really
didn't want the baby? Would it be better to tell him or leave him in the dark?
Sirius did after all have a girlfriend now, he was moving on with his life, he
was making himself happy and Remus really didn't want to spoil things for him
no matter how much he wanted Sirius. Maybe if he continued with his plan to woo
Sirius he wouldn't need to use the baby to lure him in, maybe Sirius would fall
for him for other reasons. "Okay..." he said slowly. "May I stay here for a few
minutes to calm down?" he breathed.
"Of course, let me get you your things first" the nurse smiled kindly
"Thank you" Remus swallowed.
Madame Pomfrey reached over into the bottom tray of the machine picking up
three pieces of paper she handed them over to Remus whom gasped loudly his eyes
widening with shock.
They were three little scan photos of the baby, his baby, their baby...
"Oh sweet unicorns..." Remus breathed.
Madame Pomfrey emitted a soft chuckle. "They are rather nice aren't they? Your
next scan will be in four weeks-time, a month, so you'll be twelve weeks gone
by then it will be your first proper scan and by then it will be approaching
the end of your first trimester so make sure you really take care of yourself
in these next few weeks ahead, the book I'm going to give you will explain
everything and as a weekly guide to what is going on with your baby and your
body" she said. "For example the baby is growing webbed fingers and toes this
week, the eyelids, upper lip and nose are forming well and the heart beat is
about twice as fast as your own at the moment but don't worry it will slow" he
smiled.
"That's... amazing..." Remus breathed shaking his head with disbelief.
"It is, I'm just going to get you that book and write out a slip for Professor
Slughorn" she said getting up and making her way out from behind the curtain.
Remus tidied himself up a bit sighing heavily and gazing at the photographs, he
couldn't believe this really was his baby, he couldn't believe he was pregnant
with a real child, at school, as a Werewolf and with the father as none other
than Sirius Black. Could things get anymore extreme?
Before Remus could deliberate on that answer, Madame Pomfrey returned carrying
a book and a signed piece of paper. She handed them over to him. "Any
questions?"
"What about my transformations?" Remus swallowed nervously.
Madame Pomfrey was silent for a moment. "I had noticed they improved, you have
seemed much better the past couple you have had" she said.
"Yeah actually I have, I was aching and tired afterwards but I hadn't hurt
myself or damaged anything in the shack" Remus said. "I guess I just put it
down to being tired or something that my werewolf form had decided not to go
mad those nights but I had felt so much better after them even if so much
better still wasn't good..."
"It is possible your werewolf self sensed the pregnancy, animals do things like
that that's how they know without medical help so my best guess is that this
will continue throughout your pregnancy" said the nurse. "I do not however
think that the baby is a werewolf his or herself, it is not a dominant gene as
such it is a disease you are infected with but often not inherited, many female
werewolves do not harm or pass the gene on to their children so I would say
you're safe" she smiled.
Remus breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "That's good..."
"Yes, anything else?"
Remus shook his head. His mind was blank there was no way if there even was
anything left to ask her or think of that he would be able to do it right now.
"I think I'm just gonna head back to my dormitory maybe walking a bit will
clear my head, besides I want to go back to bed for a while" he yawned.
"Okay then, if you need anything or are worried about anything at all, day or
night come here immediately and see me, it may be nothing but it may also be
something" Madame Pomfrey nodded.
"I will do and thanks again, can you be sure to keep this between us?"
"You have my word" Poppy smiled.
"Thank you" Remus smiled before getting up and making his way out from behind
the curtain.
He left the hospital wing stopping out in the corridor just in front of the
door and sighed heavily. What was he going to do now?
Meanwhile up in the dormitory...
"I wonder what's wrong with him" Sirius mused as he lounged across his bed
dressed in his weekend clothes.
"I have no idea, I hope it's nothing serious though, we can ask him when he
gets back" said James kicking his trunk closed.
"He'll be fine" said Peter. "This is Moony we're talking about he's tougher
than he looks"
"Mm I guess so" James yawned.
The dormitory door clicked open and they all sat bolt upright staring at Remus'
pale, grim face as he shuffled across the dorm not meeting any of their eyes.
"Hey Remus" James smiled.
Remus said nothing, instead he undressed, stripping into his t-shirt and boxers
he slipped under the covers.
"How did it go with Madame Pomfrey? Did she find out what's wrong with you?"
Sirius tried.
Remus' face creased a little as tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn't stand
this, Sirius so innocently oblivious in his own happy little world whilst he,
Remus, was left to suffer with a baby inside of him. Suffering from heart break
all thanks to the boy he loved.
"Moony?" James frowned with concern noticing the expression of pure hurt and
pain cross Remus' face. Getting up from the bed, Peter followed suit moving
towards Remus.
The werewolf sat up quickly and yanked his bed curtains closed, rolling over he
buried his face in his pillow and started to cry real tears. He hadn't cried
properly in so long but right now he was so overcome with emotions, torn apart
all over the place between happiness and excitement, nerves, fear, confusion,
worry, love and anger. It was all too much for him right now.
"Remus are you-"
"GO AWAY!" Remus shouted into his pillow thumping it in anger.
"But Moony-" Sirius tried.
"I said FUCK OFF!" Remus yelled turning over to face his friend, tears
streaming down his pale cheeks.
James and Sirius exchanged worried looks before slowly they pulled back from
the curtain leaving Remus in peace.
"What's wrong with him?" Peter mouthed his face washed with worry and
confusion.
Sirius shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me"
"Come on let's go downstairs and leave him alone for a while" James whispered
ushering them towards the door.
With one last look over his shoulder to where Remus lay crying amongst his
sheets, Sirius closed the dormitory door behind him...
Remus lay crying for quite some time before sleep finally overcame him.
When he woke the first thing he realised was that the light had changed in the
dormitory. Yawning he rolled onto his back and sat up rubbing his tired eyes
the memories from earlier this morning came flooding back.
Had that all really happened this morning or was it some crazy, elaborate
dream?
He yawned blinking slowly and gently resting a hand on his tummy. No this was
all happening in reality, he really was pregnant.
Sighing, Remus got up, pushed back his curtains and lazily pulled on a hoodie
and some random trousers not even bothering to sort himself out, he freshened
up in the bathroom, his tummy giving a grumble as he slouched back into the
dormitory glancing towards the window. The sun had shifted across the sky,
judging by its position it was probably around lunch time.
Remus yawned and stretched his arms above his head. He felt totally numb, there
was just nothing to think about even though he had so much. He couldn't place
anything in properly, he couldn't turn his attention solely on one thing,
everything was a haze of colour and emotions and right now he had no idea what
to think.
He left the dormitory and headed down into the common room.
The three other boys sitting around the fire fell silent and glanced up when
Remus entered looking dishevelled and scruffy his face was pale and grim and he
looked completely and utterly lost.
"Hey Moony, you okay?" James greeted gently.
"Fine thanks" Remus said quietly sitting himself perched in the spare armchair
by the fire with them.
"You sure? Earlier you were crying your eyes out when you got back from the
hospital wing" James frowned again.
Remus didn't meet his eye he just pulled his knees up to his chest and sat
staring at the crackling flames. "I'm fine"
The three boys exchanged worried looks. Remus was never normally like this even
when there was something wrong, he would normally try to hide it or he'd act
like his usual happy self. This could only mean something was incredibly
serious...
"So, uhh, mind telling us what's wrong with you then?" Sirius tried.
Remus winced visibly when Sirius spoke. He couldn't just come out with this
right now in front of them all, it wouldn't be right, or could he do it and
just pretend Sirius wasn't really the dad? Why did this decision really have to
be so hard...
"Nothing I'm fine" he said calmly.
"Remus please don't shut us out like this we're your friends we're only
concerned about you and your health" Sirius said worriedly trying to search
Remus' face but there was nothing. In truth he really was worried for the boy.
Remus sighed quietly. "I don't want a fuss"
"Is it something serious, are you dying?" James' blood ran cold, his lips fell
into a grim straight line.
"No"
"Are you seriously ill?" Peter tried wincing a little as he spoke.
"No" said Remus.
"Are you-"
"You wouldn't be able to guess if we sat here all month" Remus snapped.
The others once again exchanged worried looks.
"I'm hungry" Remus muttered.
"We were waiting for you to get up, how about we get some lunch?" James said
calmly.
"Yeah I'm up for that" Remus yawned. "I'm up for anything" he added quickly.
They got slowly to their feet, the others eyeing Remus warily as they left the
common room and headed out onto the large staircase landing. Remus' mind was a
whir of thoughts and emotions, what was he going to do now? Was it right to
just leave his friends in the dark? What would they say about this when they
found out? What would they think of him? Would they even want to be his friends
anymore?
Remus barely listened to his friends laughing and chatting and ignored their
sideways glances at him as they made their way down the winding long staircases
into the entrance hall. He really should be making an effort, he really should
be with them, laughing and joking around. He knew he looked suspicious, he knew
he was making the others worry and he didn't want to but he felt like he had no
other option. He was far from ready to tell them about the baby just yet but he
knew he would have to warn them to be careful of him.
They headed into the great hall, making their way along the rows they dropped
into their seats at the Gryffindor table. Remus surveyed the food.
Damn.
He hadn't read his book yet so he wasn't sure what was and what was not safe
during pregnancy. Sighing he went for a simple, plain option that would keep
his tummy stable and wouldn't hurt the baby.
The others watched as he poured himself a bowl of lentil soup with bread and a
bowl of warm chips. He began to eat slowly as they resumed conversation however
did not take their eyes off of him.
Remus ate until he was done, helping himself to some salad and then chocolate
cake for dessert he got to his feet. He would go and fetch his slip from his
bag and then take it to Professor Slughorn now, he could do this, he had to do
this unless he wanted to face another day of that dreadful morning sickness.
"I'm gonna go back up to the dorm" he said quietly.
"Hang on a sec I'm nearly done" James said wolfing down the last of his ice
cream and downing his goblet of juice before jumping up excitedly with the
other two.
"Okay"
They left the great hall, Remus feeling as confused and emotional as before as
they headed back to the Gryffindor tower.
Once they were in the dormitory, Remus sat perched on the edge of his bed,
picking up his bag he discreetly stuffed the slip into his trouser pocket
before pushing it back under his bed.
"So Sirius how are you and your girlfriend doing?"
Remus closed his eyes clenching the side of the bed. Did they really have to
talk about this now?
"Oh okay I guess" Sirius shrugged.
"So have you two done the deed of darkness yet?" James waggled his eyebrows
playfully.
Sirius threw his head back and laughed shrilly. "Sorry Prongs I don't... shag
and tell" he winked playfully.
It was all too much for Remus, he jumped to his feet angrily. "I'm going to see
Professor Slughorn" he snarled.
When Peter made to follow him he shot the boy a vicious death glare. "ALONE!"
before turning on his heels, storming out of the dormitory slamming the door
behind him.
"Bloody hell what's the matter with him?!" James breathed staring confusedly
after his friend.
Sirius sat staring blankly at the door. He said nothing.
Remus marched through the common room, tears prickling in the backs of his
eyes. How could they be so inconsiderate? How could Sirius even think about
sleeping with that slut? How could that filthy fucking bitch take Sirius away
from him like that and now they were all talking like happy families about it
when he was pregnant with Sirius' fucking baby!
Remus made his way swiftly down the staircases, down through the entrance hall
and into the cool dungeons. He didn't calm down until he reached Slughorn's
office.
Straightening himself up, nerves washing over him he took a deep breath, raised
his hand and knocked the door.
There was a moments silence.
"Come in" the Professor called.
Closing his eyes in a long slow blink, Remus swallowed the lump that appeared
in his throat and with shaking hands, pushed the door open.
When he entered he was greeted by a wave of warmth washing over him from the
little fire burning in the room. As he closed the door behind him, Professor
Slughorn looked up from where he was marking papers at his desk. His face
spread into a warm but confused smile when he saw Remus standing there nervous
and tense by the door.
"Ah mister Lupin, what can I- err- do for you this evening?" he frowned a
little with confusion.
Remus stood awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other for a moment.
"Professor, I'm in trouble and I need to ask for your help" he said quietly
without meeting the older man's eye.
Slughorn stared at him worriedly before gesturing to the chair in front of his
desk. "Very well, have a seat" he said.
Remus moved across the room and sat down fidgeting his hands in his lap feeling
increasingly awkward and uncomfortable about being here. It was only sensible
and logical he did this. He didn't really want the teachers to know but it
probably was for the best, for the sake of himself and the baby just in case
something did go wrong or there was a practical he shouldn't be a part of. He
also didn't fancy waking up to that dreadful morning sickness any more. Remus
cringed at the mere thought of it.
"So what can I do for you?" Slughorn asked after a long pause.
Remus sank his teeth into his bottom lip and reached into his pocket pulling
out the slip gazing down at it nervously in his lap. "Well... I've gotten
myself into a bit of a situation" he said slowly.
Professor Slughorn stared at Remus with a mix of confusion and concern on his
aging face, he watched as Remus hesitantly raised the slip of paper still
staring at it as though deciding whether or not he should do something with it.
Taking a nervous deep breath, Remus handed over the slip of paper closing his
eyes not wanting to witness Professor Slughorn's reaction to it.
A moment went by in silence.
"Okay well I can definitely make this for you, it's not something I've ever
given to a student before so may I ask why she has specifically prescribed this
for you?" the potions master asked looking Remus straight in the face.
Slowly Remus opened his pretty blue eyes and swallowed. "I-I'm...
preg...nant..." he stammered trembling all over with nerves.
Professor Slughorn's lip parted, his eyes widened and he stared at Remus in
shock. "Merlin's beard!" he rasped searching the young boys face. "Remus are
you sure about this?"
Remus nodded slowly feeling tears prickling in the backs of his eyes but he
blinked them away quickly not wanting to cry in front of his teacher. "I took a
pregnancy test and I went to Madame Pomfrey this morning, she confirmed it, I'm
eight weeks along so two months" he said reaching into his pocket and pulling
out a scan photo, he showed it to his Professor who stared at it in utter shock
and disbelief.
"My dear boy, how on Earth has this happened?" Slughorn breathed shaking his
head with disbelief he had never witnessed a pregnant student before especially
not with that student being male.
"At the start of term there was this party in my dorm and long story short... I
took this potion called the Trenceptous potion I think and it gave me an extra
opening behind my testicles..." Remus cringed at having to say that in front of
a teacher. "I had intercourse there and although it's rare I conceived and this
morning I found out I'm pregnant" he swallowed nervously.
Slughorn nodded once with understanding. "I see"
"Do you know of it?"
"My dear boy of course I know of that particular potion, I'm not a potions
master for nothing you know" Slughorn chuckled making Remus blush awkwardly.
"But yes my goodness you are in a pickle, I will make this potion for you it
will take around an hour you can wait here for it with me or go back to your
common room it is your choice" he smiled getting to his feet and making his way
swiftly over to the cupboards to pull out the necessary equipment.
"I-I think I'll just wait here" Remus said, he didn't want to go back to
hearing anything more about Sirius' fucking slut or be questioned as to where
he was going every two minutes by his friends.
"Very well then" Slughorn nodded. Remus watched as he set the burner and began
adding a mixture of precise ingredients to the cauldron.
"Forgive me for prying mister Lupin but, who exactly is the father?"
"Oh, umm..."
The older man turned to stare worriedly at the werewolf. "You do know who he
is, don't you?"
"Oh yes of course but I haven't exactly told him yet..." Remus muttered
averting his eyes.
"Why ever not?" Slughorn blinked carefully stirring the potion in a clockwise
motion.
"Well... the thing is... he's not gay and he has a girlfriend" Remus' heart
sank in his chest, saying it was so much worse than thinking it.
"I see"
"And if I tell him I'm afraid that I might end up ruining his life, he might
hate me for it later on and I really care about him I just want him to be happy
so I know this sounds bad but I was going to just leave him in the dark and
tell him he isn't the father so he can go on with his life happily I'll be okay
on my own…." Tears began to brim in Remus' eyes.
"That is an incredibly selfless thing to do, however the concern with it is,
what happens when the baby is actually born? Surely you wouldn't want to
deprive him or her of their father?" Slughorn said.
Remus hadn't thought of that, and it was an excellent point. "No but I also
don't want to ruin his life" he said slowly.
"Remus, this boy slept with you, he has impregnated you this is his
responsibility too, I know it's hard and I understand you must be in pieces all
over the place but you must have a serious think about this, you don't need to
tell him straight away but he needs to know before he finds out from someone
else or figures it out on his own, you don't want to hurt him" Slughorn said
gently.
"No..." Remus breathed. He really hadn't thought this through very well. "I
only just found out this morning and went back to bed the only people that know
are you and Madame Pomfrey I can't even think about telling my friends my head
is all over the place" he sighed resting his head in his hands.
"I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you right now,
especially at your age" Slughorn said worriedly. "If this boy has a girlfriend
then that doesn't matter"
"Because my baby comes first..." Remus said.
"Precisely!" Slughorn smiled. "If he doesn't want anything to do with either of
you, which I'm not saying he will you never know, but if he doesn't then at
least you know where you stand he is obliged to pay for the baby whether he
wants to or not"
"Don't get me wrong I do love my baby I just feel so lost and alone" Remus said
quietly.
"I don't doubt that you love it" Slughorn chuckled. "I get the impression you
are very overwhelmed at this moment in time and that is understandable you have
a lot of decisions to make and a lot of tough times ahead, you aren't alone I
can offer you drop in sessions just for someone to talk to whenever you want,
you can also talk to Madame Pomfrey as well, whoever you feel comfortable with
but it might be an idea to let Professor McGonagall know as she is the head of
house"
"I plan to" Remus nodded. "I'm going to tell her and I want my other teachers
to know too just for my own safety as well as the baby's"
"That's very sensible of you" Slughorn replied.
"I just feel all over the place, my head is in the clouds I'm at an utter loss"
Remus sighed. "I've got so much to worry about with school work, friends,
pregnancy, scans, safety, my parents, and this whole situation with the baby's
father I feel like it's all too much for me" he sniffled.
"It seems so much worse than it actually is right now as you have only just
found out my boy" said the teacher. "Give it some time, let the dust settle and
then decide how you're going to approach this problem"
Remus nodded slowly. "Yes"
They sat talking casually for a little while longer, Remus began to relax so
much more. Just over an hour passed and Remus watched as Professor Slughorn
ladelled the bright blue potion into a clear, wine-like bottle. He corked it
carefully and smiled as he handed it over to his student.
"Take this twice a day once in the morning and once in the evening before bed,
one cup a time and if you feel you need more during the day a half cup should
tie you over until your next dose, take it until you feel the morning sickness
has worn off completely" Professor Slughorn smiled.
"Thank you, Professor I really appreciate the help"
"Oh it's quite alright, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask, I can't
imagine how hard this must be on you" Slughorn said shaking his head a little
with what Remus could only describe as pity.
"Thank you very much, but there is one thing you could help me with?" Remus
said sheepishly.
"What's that, my boy?"
"Could you maybe... tell the other teachers about me?" Remus asked timidly. "I
would tell them myself but there are quite a few of them and I just feel too
afraid to face them all but I want them to know for health and safety
reasons..." Remus explained quickly.
"Of course"
"I'll tell Professor McGonagall myself though" Remus said.
"Very well"
Remus slipped the bottle into the front pocket of his hoodie supporting it
carefully as he got to his feet and crossed the room. "Thank you for
everything, could you make sure the other teachers don't announce anything to
the students I want to be the one to tell people when the time is right"
"You have my word"
Remus' lips curled into a small smile. "Thank you" he breathed before turning
and leaving the office closing the door behind him.
Remus almost sank to his knees and sighed loudly resting his head back against
the solid wooden door. That was easier than he anticipated, now at least he had
something to cure his morning sickness so that was another load off his already
burdened shoulders.
Closing his eyes in a long, slow blink he made his way back along the dungeon
corridor and out into the entrance hall. It was time to go and tell Professor
McGonagall...
Remus made his way back up a few staircases ignoring the chattering, happy
students as he passed. A pang of jealousy shot from him they were all normal,
they were living their lives how they should, they weren't having to deal with
a teenage male pregnancy, being in love with their best friend whom would never
love them back and on top of that all the general school and stresses of life.
Why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn't something normal just happen
in his life? Was it so wrong to want normality and security?
Remus' mind was buzzing as he made his way along to Professor McGonagall's
office. He stopped outside shifting nervously from one foot to the other before
finally he plucked up the courage and nodded.
"Come in" the witch called through the heavy wooden door.
Remus debated on whether he should turn and run for it right now, but what
would that achieve? Taking a deep breath, Remus opened the door and made his
way inside.
"Oh it's you, Remus, what can I do for you?" Professor McGonagall asked looking
up from her work in surprise as Remus shut the door tightly.
"Professor..." Remus' eyes were brimming with tears, he tried to blink them
away but to no avail.
"Oh my goodness, have a seat, has something happened?" the woman asked
worriedly as she gestured to the chair in front of her desk.
Remus sniffed hard trying to calm himself down as he dropped slowly into the
chair. He wasn't sure why he was crying, it must be something to do with his
hormones. Today had been a shock, an overwhelming shock, it wasn't like he was
completely unprepared for this, he had found out yesterday but that wasn't much
of a heads up for something like this...
"Are you alright?" she asked worriedly.
Remus nodded slowly. "Yeah I'm okay..." he exhaled slowly.
"Then why are you crying?" she asked gently.
"I just... Professor if I tell you something will you promise to keep it a
secret from the other students?" Remus began. He had to grow some balls, suck
it up and deal with his life it wasn't going to get any better or any easier
unless he did something to sort it out.
"Of course I would, what has happened?"
"I'm pregnant" said Remus.
He watched as McGonagall's eyebrows disappeared in her hairline, her eyes
widened dramatically and she stared at him in absolute devastation. There was
an awkward pause before she managed to speak.
"I'm sorry?" she blinked.
"I-I... I'm pregnant" Remus said slowly. He just wanted to take the plunge,
jump in at the deep end and get this whole situation over with.
"But Remus how on Earth..."
Remus quickly explained what had happened in much the same way he did with
Professor Slughorn earlier on. "And Professor Slughorn knows as well as Madame
Pomfrey, I've asked him to tell the other teachers for me I want them to know
but I don't want the students knowing... not yet... the time isn't right..."
"Of course I will, mister Lupin" she said slowly, obviously still in shock.
"May I ask how far along you are?" her voice was surprisingly soft and gentle.
"Eight weeks, two months" said Remus, he reached nervously into his pocket and
pulled out a scan photo handing it over to his Professor. He watched as her
face lit up and she smiled at the moving, flickering image of his tiny little
baby.
"It's lovely, I will congratulate you but I'm sure you aren't really in the
mood for celebrating something like this right now" she smiled.
Remus shrugged a little and smiled back. "I am shocked, confused, worried,
afraid, upset, happy, excited my head is just here there and everywhere I don't
know what to think right now" he sighed. "I love my baby I just wish he or she
was conceived under better circumstances..."
"I think that you just need to take some time to think this through, talk to
the father, talk to your friends and parents you're obviously planning on
keeping it so you've got a lot of plans to make and conversations to be had"
his teacher replied. "But you're an intelligent, compassionate boy, Remus if
anyone can handle this you can" she smiled supportively. "I will be here for
you if you need to talk to you just need somewhere to go, I'm sure your other
Professor's will agree with me about this"
"Thank you it means a lot"
"My pleasure" she gave a nod and a smile.
"I should probably get going my friends will be wondering where I am" Remus
sighed getting slowly to his feet.
"Very well, remember what I said and do take care" she smiled.
"Thanks" Remus breathed as he left the office.
Breathing a hefty sigh of relief, he made his way up to the Gryffindor tower.
When Remus finally arrived back in the dormitory the others were staring at him
suspiciously. He ignored them and crossed the room, resting his potion down on
his bedside table he stripped back down and headed into the bathroom to wash
up. A minute or so later and he returned, conjuring some water he sipped it
before climbing into bed.
"Umm, Remus?"
"Mmm?"
"You know it's only half two..." said Peter.
"Yeah and I wanna sleep before dinner"
"Moony is there something-"
"No" Remus cut Sirius off before he even got the chance to speak.
It wasn't long before Remus drifted off into a comfortable sleep...
A few hours went by and Sirius drew the curtains around Remus' bed. "I don't
want to wake him he really doesn't seem right today" he said quietly to James
as they stood peeping in at him.
"I know, I'm worried"
"Maybe we should do something" Sirius suggested.
"Like what? We don't even know what's wrong with him..."
"I feel helpless there is obviously something wrong with him that he doesn't
want us to know about" said Sirius.
"There's nothing we can do if he won't tell us what it is, we'll just have to
wait and see if he comes clean if we try to force him he'll only fall out with
us" James replied.
"I guess you're right... I have an idea, how about we bring him his dinner up?"
James shrugged. "Alright"
It wasn't long before Sirius found himself making his way back to the dormitory
with a plate of hot food and a jug of juice. He couldn't help but be worried
about Remus ever since he came out of the bathroom this morning there had been
something funny about him, something strange that he couldn't quite place his
finger on. Sure the boy had been ill for a while now but it wasn't that kind of
unusual. Remus had lost his sparkle today and whatever Madame Pomfrey said to
him had obviously really upset him in some way. If only Remus would tell him
what was wrong he might be able to help...
He slipped back into the dorm, kicking the door shut behind him he made his way
over to Remus' bed and rested the plate and jug of juice on his bedside table.
Nervously he began to gently shake the boy awake.
"Hey Remus, I brought you some dinner... Moony" he crowed softly.
Remus furrowed his eyebrows and groaned before slowly opening his eyes blinking
up confusedly into Sirius' face.
"Dinner's here" Sirius smiled nodding to the food and drink on Moony's bedside
table.
"Oh, thank you, but why-"
"You just seemed really tired and sick so I thought I might as well save you
getting up" Sirius smiled his soft grey eyes twinkling.
Remus couldn't help but blush, Sirius Black was bringing him dinner in bed, the
boy he loved, the father of their child was bringing him dinner in bed because
he thought Remus was ill. "That's really kind of you..." Remus muttered
averting his eyes awkwardly. He wasn't sure how to react to something like
this, he'd dreamt about Sirius being homely with him but never expected him to
actually do something like his out of the blue and for no real reason.
"It's cool, Moons, eat up before it gets cold, I picked your favourites" Sirius
flashed one of those outstandingly handsome grins.
"Thanks" Remus smiled back watching as Sirius swerved around Remus' bed and
flopped down on his own snatching up a random magazine.
Remus smiled to himself and picked up the plate of food, for once he'd be able
to eat and enjoy it knowing tomorrow morning he would actually be capable of
keeping it down.
That night after a quick wash and change into some proper pyjamas, Remus poured
himself a cup of potion. Placing it to his lips he took a tentative sip and his
eyebrows shot into his hairline. It wasn't bad at all, rather like strawberries
and lightly of mint too. Remus smiled and finished the lot before snuggling
down under his bed covers feeling surprisingly optimistic.
Tomorrow he would finally put his plans into action.
And with that he drifted off into a warm comfortable sleep...
The next morning when Remus woke he yawned lazily blinking slowly. The urge to
vomit was surprisingly not there and he chuckled lightly to himself. "Thank
you, Professor Slughorn" he breathed stretching his arms up over his head.
Slowly he sat up and poured himself another cup of the potion, it was still
fairly early and the others were asleep but Remus was ready to get up, today
was a day of action, today he was finally going to put all his thoughts and
ideas into action and try to pull himself Sirius Black.
Sipping his potion he slowly got up and collected his uniform as he headed into
the bathroom with a warm fluffy towel. He locked the door placing his things on
a spare stool before rinsing the bathing pool around and turning the taps
watching warm water and bubbles pour from it. When it was full he switched off
the taps, undressed and slowly sank into the inviting warm water sighing with
relief. So far today was turning out very well.
Remus washed all over rinsing the soap from his hair he got out and drained the
bath, he dried quickly and pulled on his clean fresh uniform straightening it
out and gazing at himself in the mirror before slowly he did what he never
thought he'd do.
He un-tucked his shirt and opened the first two buttons of his school shirt
pushing his tie down a little lazier, he shrugged his trousers down a little
bit lower on his hips careful not to look like an idiot and show his underwear
just enough to give them a laid back slouch before he set to work on his hair.
As he carefully gelled and pruned his hair with some scented Wizarding mousse
his mind wandered to his pregnancy. Today was the start of his ninth week, he
was actually nine weeks pregnant now and all thanks to the potion today he was
feeling so much better than he had before. Right as he finished gelling his
hair back into position there was a low thumping at the door.
"Remus are you being sick again?" James called his voice rinsed with worry.
"No" Remus smiled to himself as he gazed at his reflection in the mirror.
Although he didn't think he looked good or great he did look much better, he'd
never worn his hair gelled back and into any style before, it was fairly long,
the shorter front parts past his chin with a bit of a long floppy fringe the
rest of his hair came down to the base of his neck but he'd used the gel to
brush it back, with his skin being so pale and his hair so blonde he thought he
rather looked a little like a vampire but that was alright.
"Are you done in there, Moony?" James called again.
"Yeah just a second" Remus called pulling on his cloak and shoes, he smiled to
himself in the mirror, took a deep breath and opened the door coming face to
face with a surprised looking James Potter.
"Oh" he blinked taking in Remus' unusual appearance. Remus was the sort of
person to always play it down, be natural and a little smart but today he
looked... well he looked like a rough and ready teenage boy.
Remus didn't say anything as he walked past to his bed to pack his bag.
Sirius yawned stretching his arms above his head, pulling on his shirt and
trousers he turned around and came face to face with an entirely different
Remus Lupin.
Sirius almost dropped his tie when he laid eyes on Remus standing there
examining his school things with his bag on the bed. He looked up and smiled
when he noticed Sirius staring and with his eyebrows in his hairline, Sirius
smiled back.
Remus looked so different today, there was a different air about him, his hair
was gelled back into perfection, his uniform was so lazy and casual it hung off
him well and he just seemed better. "Feeling better this morning then, Moony?"
Sirius asked unable to take his eyes off of Remus, seeing him like this would
take some getting used to.
"Yeah fine thanks, you?" Remus said quietly without meeting Sirius' eye. Sirius
had a feeling Remus still hadn't gotten over his embarrassment from when they
slept together.
"I'm fine, not been sick this morning then?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.
"Nope, all thanks to my potion" Remus said waving to the bottle of bright blue
liquid on his bedside table.
"Oh, what's it for?"
"Nausea and vomiting..." Remus replied.
"Yeah but to cure what kind, you get loads of causes and you'd been throwing up
for weeks!" Sirius said calmly.
Remus just shrugged. "Doesn't matter I'm fine now"
"Well... okay…."
The bathroom door clicked open and James reappeared still looking surprised at
the way Remus was dressing. "So you coming down with us to the great hall?"
"Yes actually I am" Remus flashed him a rather confident smile.
James looked slightly taken aback and exchanged confused glances with Sirius
before he smiled and said. "Great! Glad to have you back, Remus"
Twenty minutes later and they were heading down to the great hall for
breakfast. Remus felt surprisingly okay this morning and for once listened to
his friends talking and laughing as they headed down the staircases and into
the great hall. The scent of sausages, bacon, toast and other various foods was
strong, stronger than usual but it wasn't making him even remotely nauseous.
They dropped into their seats and Remus took a few slices of toast and some
fruit with a large goblet of juice much to everyone's surprise. He ate quietly
fully aware of the fact his friends were shooting him sideways glances every
ten seconds but he didn't really care.
After breakfast they headed down into potions, stopping outside the classroom
they waited for Professor Slughorn to arrive to let them in.
Remus still felt tired, not as bad as he was, the relief of morning sickness
was worth it and the fact he wasn't up frequently vomiting his guts up helped
cut his exhaustion levels.
When Slughorn arrived only moments later, they let the class in. As Remus
walked past with his friends, Slughorn caught his gaze holding it a moment
giving him a small smile. Remus smiled back before sweeping past and taking his
normal seat beside James this lesson.
They pulled out their things, as Slughorn walked past the table on his way to
the front of the classroom he leaned down towards Remus and said quietly "If
you need to get up to go to the toilet or anything during the lesson just go
it's fine" he smiled.
"Thanks, Professor" Remus flashed a smile back as his friends exchanged
confused looks.
Slughorn took a hint, straightened up and made his way to the front of the room
addressing the class with their work for the day.
The lesson went on for a while, everything seemed fine as the boys started
their work.
"So who fancies breaking into the restricted section of the library this week
and checking some of those books, one of them is bound to have something we're
looking for in there, maybe some secrets about the castle or some spells we
could use" James said quietly.
"I'm in, definitely" Remus said quickly much to everyone's surprise. "We could
break into Hogsmeade while we're at it and I've done a little research on some
spells already" he added.
"Wow Remus what's come over you?" Sirius blinked in utter surprise, Remus was
never normally like this.
Remus shrugged trying to be as casual as possible. "Nothing just feeling a bit
better, you know?"
"You still haven't told us what's wrong" James pointed out watching Remus' face
fall a little.
"Oh…. Well..."
"Come on we're your friends you can trust us can't you?" Peter tried.
"Yes but it's not that kind of thing it's difficult I just…. Can't... believe
me I'd like to tell you but it's just not the right time and there's so much
involved it's not like I can just blurt it out because it's not as simple as
that" Remus said awkwardly cringing at his own words.
"Why not? Remus is there something seriously wrong with you are you dying?"
Sirius frowned worriedly.
"No, I'm not ready to tell you anything else just that I'm not seriously ill,
dying, actually sick at all or anything but it is something serious and I'm
really not ready to tell any of you yet, just don't get on my case about it I
can't handle stress right now and... be gentle with me don't jump on me, hit
me, pull me around and stuff" Remus said quietly without meeting anyone's eye,
he turned back to his work.
"Okay, Moony" said James.
The rest of the lesson passed without further questioning of Remus' illness, or
problem rather. By the end they packed up their things and headed off for
Charms quite happily.
They headed straight into the classroom, taking their seats they pulled out
their books and parchment as Professor Flitwick instructed them to copy down
what was written on the black board.
Remus wrote it down quickly noticing Flitwick staring at him giving him odd
looks, he must know about the baby, this lesson was one he'd chosen to really
kick things off in. He had to make an impression on Sirius, why would someone
like the Gryffindor heart throb want a laid back, quiet little door mouse who
always did as he was told and never did anything eye catching or daring? He was
a Gryffindor after all.
The lesson continued on for a little while.
"Right then everyone when I call your name come and put your homework up on my
desk for me to mark this evening" said the Professor. He rolled off a few names
and one by one the students got up to put their homework on the front desk
including Sirius.
"Lily Evans" Flitwick called, Remus could see James sitting in the desk in
front squirming excitedly watching as she got up to put her homework on the
table.
Flitwick read off a few more names until finally-
"Remus Lupin"
Remus didn't budge.
A few seconds ticked by and Remus could feel his friends staring at him,
Flitwick looked up in confusion watching Remus sit there slightly unnerved
unmoving.
"Remus?"
"I aint got my fucking homework" Remus said coolly.
The entire class turned to stare at him, James and Sirius' mouths fell open and
they exchanged shocked looks. Professor Flitwick looked completely taken aback
by this, he stumbled backwards on his pile of books blinking slowly in
confusion.
"Mind your language mister Lupin" he said calmly much to everyone's surprise.
Bad language was normally an automatic detention, so why was Flitwick letting
Remus off.
Remus didn't say anything he just got slowly to his feet swallowing the lump
that appeared in his throat. You can do this, Remus, you can do it, you aren't
a Gryffindor for no reason, you can handle it, it's only Flitwick don't let
them know you're afraid He thought desperately trying to soothe his already
trembling demeanour.
"Why haven't you done your homework?" the teacher asked calmly. He knew, he
didn't need to say anything to Remus he knew the boy was fully aware as
Professor McGonagall had come to him yesterday and told him about the
pregnancy. He wasn't about to give Remus detention or stress him out at this
difficult time, he was obviously acting out for a reason. His appearance and
behaviour were certainly not very Remus-like.
Remus shrugged nervously, he hated everybody staring at him but if he was in
with a chance of getting Sirius to notice him, he'd put up with it for now. "I
just don't care, why would I?" his voice shook a little with nerves but he held
firm.
"Mister Lupin I'm not sure what's come over you, do you need a minute to calm
yourself down?" Professor Flitwick asked gently, his eyebrows furrowed with
concern.
"Pfft, no" Remus scoffed incredibly falsely. "I didn't do my homework, big
deal, it's not like everybody else has..." Remus said.
Sirius frowned gazing up at his friend in bewilderment. Why would Remus
suddenly start acting out like this, in a way he'd never done before? Whatever
was wrong it was seriously upsetting him. The way Remus was talking sounded as
though he'd rehearsed this, like he was reading lines for some reason.
"Remus I am not sure what's affecting your behaviour so badly but you need to
calm down, this is completely inappropriate and shocking, I can understand you
being upset and confused at the moment but this is no way to act out if you
want some help I will see you after the lesson"
Remus' blood ran cold. Shit, Flitwick did know. Overcome by blind panic, Remus
bolted for the door slamming it behind him before anyone could stop him, he ran
down the corridor and out onto the stairs. He didn't stop until he reached his
dormitory and buried himself under his blankets.
He wouldn't face any more of this today, oh no.
At the end of the lesson, Sirius, James and Peter gathered up Remus' things and
headed out of the classroom.
"What in the name of Merlin's saggy left bollock is wrong with him?" James
said.
Sirius shrugged. "Haven't a clue mate, he's been acting weird for a while now
but ever since yesterday he's been off his nut"
"You don't think he's on drugs do you?" Peter jumped in.
"No that's not like Remus..." James frowned.
"Prongs, Remus isn't even like Remus..." Sirius sighed. "Where do you think
he's gone, dormitory?"
"No doubt" said James. They were about to head off to find their friend when a
cool, slick voice interrupted them.
"What's wrong with little Lupin? Aww is he desperate for attention? What a
pity, I always knew he was a spineless little prick" Severus Snape spoke his
voice laced with pure venom.
"Piss off, Snape, nobody wants to hear what you've got to say" James snapped.
"Yeah Remus is twice the man you'll ever be" Sirius added.
A loud laugh erupted from Snape's throat only angering the boys further.
"Whatever you say, but purely my being here is annoying you and you can't stand
it when I talk about your pathetic little Prefect behind his back can you? No
because it's one less back up"
Snape's crowd of friends gave a low murmur of agreement from where they were
standing a few feet behind him.
Sirius barked a laugh. "Oh and I see now, Snivellus you wouldn't dare take us
on alone, you wouldn't take one of us on alone let alone all four, you think
you're so clever and hard don't you? Well let me tell you something, if I hear
one more word out of that crooked little mouth of yours then I will take your
face, and bury it six feet in the wall, how does that sound?" Sirius snarled.
A flicker of fear shot through Snape's dark eyes and this didn't go unnoticed
by James and Peter who burst out laughing grinning excitedly at the sight of
it.
They'd won this round.
Sirius leaned back and chuckled a nasty smirk playing on his handsome features.
"Hmph, I'm through with you little boy" he said before turning to his friends.
"Let's go find Remus"
The other two nodded and they turned marching away triumphantly without even
looking back.
They found Remus in the dormitory about ten minutes later lying under his
covers, he'd shucked out of his clothes and was buried in his little warm nest
but not sleeping.
"Moony?"
"What, Prongs?"
"What the fuck was all that about?" James asked sitting himself on the edge of
Remus' bed.
"What was all what about?" Remus said casually without turning over to face his
friend.
"Remus you know what we're on about mate" Sirius said. "Why were you like that
with Flitwick and what was he on about 'at this time' and you being upset and
confused but it was no reason to act out, what's going on with you?"
"I've already told you I don't want to talk about it" Remus mumbled.
"You must have spoken to Flitwick and hey- Slughorn too!" James said quickly
suddenly coming to the realisation that the teachers had been treating Remus
differently to everyone else, not by much, just a little.
"Get off my fucking case!" Remus groaned. "Leave me alone I'm not going to my
other lessons today, don't bother covering for me cause I don't care"
The three other boys sighed with defeat.
"Alright, Remus, just feel better, okay? We'll bring you some lunch" Sirius
said calmly.
"Thanks" Remus' voice fell soft and quiet, just the way it normally was.
"Okay"
They turned and left the dormitory, sparing one last worried look at Remus they
left him alone once again.
A few days had passed and by the time Thursday rolled around Remus' behaviour
had not changed. During Defence against the Dark Arts on Tuesday Remus had
fallen asleep and refused to even look at the teacher when she tried to make
him do some work, He hadn't bothered turning up to Herbology anymore but the
teacher hadn't even mentioned it she just looked at James, Sirius and Peter
with a strange glitter in her eyes. In Transfiguration Remus had talked non-
stop through the whole lesson and ignored McGonagall's warnings and in Potions
he'd actually bothered to do a little bit of work. James, Sirius and Peter were
growing increasingly concerned for him.
"Any idea why he might be acting up so badly?" Peter asked as the three of them
sat down in the common room that evening. Remus was upstairs taking a bath,
they'd planned to go out searching the castle again tonight.
"Not a clue, he hasn't said a thing to anyone" Sirius sighed.
"Except the teachers" James added.
"Yeah well this isn't like him I'm getting worried he might have something
seriously wrong with him that's affecting his brain and stuff..." Peter
replied.
"It's like he's trying to accomplish something" Sirius said thoughtfully. "Like
he wants to be noticed and he is really trying to stand out and create a new
image for himself"
"The question is, why?" James sighed.
Peter and Sirius just looked to one another and shook their heads. "Not a
fucking clue mate" Sirius replied.
They waited ten more minutes just sitting chatting about random things.
"Hey listen I don't think I'm gonna come with you tonight" Sirius yawned
glancing up at the clock.
"What? Why not?" James whined in a child-like fashion.
"I'm knackered I'll probably end up caught anyway"
"So it's just me and Peter again?" James tutted angrily.
"You say it like spending time with me is a bad thing!"
"Sorry Peter..." said James. "Didn't mean it like that"
"You bloody well shouldn't!"
Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "I'm gonna head upstairs, you'll be back
late I presume?"
James and Peter nodded as the three of them got to their feet and stretched.
"Well, have fun see you later" Sirius nodded.
"Yeah, bye" said James. They parted ways and Sirius headed off up to the
dormitory. He felt tired and just couldn't be bothered with another night of
running around the castle trying to find secret passages and hide outs, it
wasn't as fun when it was just the three of them but James and Peter would do a
good job so he might as well just stay back. Besides if they did it too often
it took some of the excitement away.
Sirius yawned as he closed the dormitory door. He made his way across to his
own bed shucking out of his cloak, tie and shoes he yawned again as the
bathroom door clicked open.
Remus poked his head out of the crack, he was just undressing to get into a
nice warm, relaxing bath and was surprised to see Sirius back so soon. "Oh I
thought you were going with the others"
"Change of plan they're going alone" Sirius flashed a smile. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah but I umm, left my clothes on the bed" Remus said quickly pulling his
dressing gown around himself and heading back into the dormitory.
"Okay just gonna get changed" Sirius replied not really watching as Remus began
gathering his clean pyjamas and such things.
Remus glanced up to see Sirius pushing his trousers around his ankles and
stepping out of them. He bit his bottom lip to hold back a moan as Sirius
turned a little giving him a full display of his backside when an idea struck
him.
Swallowing nervously, Remus quietly opened his underwear draw, shifting to the
back he rummaged around and pulled a piece of fabric out trying to hold back
the blush that threatened to blaze across his face. Quickly he stuffed his
underwear inside his pyjamas and hurried back into the bathroom closing the
door behind him.
Now it was time for phase two of his plan...
Remus dropped his dressing gown to the floor and slipped into the warm bubble
bath sighing with relief. He'd taken the liberty to every night when his
friends were in bed, cast a Lumos spell and sit and read some of his pregnancy
book or watch his scan photo's trying to figure everything out. The book was
apparently very accurate, through the morning sickness to the frequent
urination, headaches, tiredness an even cravings. This week the baby would be
moving around a lot although Remus wouldn't be able to feel him or her yet,
this week the baby is developing his or her genitalia and that was the part
that excited Remus the most.
Boy or girl, girl or boy? What would he have? Would in seven months he be
saying 'I have a daughter' or 'I have a son'? Remus' lips curled up into a
smile.
He finished washing and rinsed off his hair. Climbing out of the bath he towel
dried his hair and gently rubbed down the rest of his body before picking up
his underwear from his nightshirt. He swallowed slipping it on feeling the back
of the soft black fabric sliding between his cheeks, he gasped a little at the
sensation, he'd never worn something even close to a thong before, but he
wanted to try it, surely this would get Sirius' attention.
He quickly pulled his short nightshirt over his head, tossing his dirty clothes
and the towel into the wash basket he made his way back into the dormitory.
Sirius looked up and smiled when the door opened. "Hey" he said lounging across
his own bed and reading through another magazine.
"Hi" Remus smiled flushing slightly as he made his way over to his bed
straightening the covers up. He busied himself for a couple of minutes with
mediocre tidying trying to stall enough to calm himself down.
Closing his eyes in a long slow blink, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly
before making his way around the bed to where Sirius was sitting, he crouched
down on the floor shuffling so he was half under the bed, his backside pointed
into the air and his nightshirt fell back revealing his bottom. Remus blushed
furiously and pretended to busy himself under the bed giving Sirius a good
chance to look.
Sirius glanced up and almost fell off the bed with shock as his eyes met the
perfect, plump curve of Remus' backside. His lips parted and he stared at his
friend. Remus was wearing a thong? Revealing himself like that, well, he
probably wasn't aware he was doing it, or what affect it was having on Sirius.
Remus blushed even further, he could feel Sirius staring at him hoping to
Merlin it was for the reasons he wanted. He give his hips a little wiggle as he
reached for a quill and slowly pulled back and out from under the bed. He got
to his feet and made his way slowly around the bed. He slipped under his covers
pouring himself a cup of potion he sat in bed sipping it lightly.
Sirius was still staring at Remus with his mouth hanging open. Never had he
ever expected Remus to wear anything like a thong. He shook his head slightly
and continued with his magazine.
By the time the others arrived back, Sirius and Remus were both fast asleep in
their beds.
Friday passed at a painfully slow rate and the weekend finally arrived much to
everyone's relief, Remus' behaviour had not changed in the slightest, if
anything it had become even more erratic over the past couple of days. He was
still behaving strangely, in Transfiguration he'd completely ignored Professor
McGonagall which was strange in itself but what was stranger was he calm
reaction to it, she didn't tell him off or send him out or even give him
detention, she just seemed very mellow about it.
It was Saturday afternoon and the boys were lounging around the common room by
the fire feeling thoroughly bored.
"I still can't believe you stood up to McGonagall like that yesterday" James
chuckled the memories floating through his mind.
"Mister Lupin for the last time, do you know the answer?" the woman said
growing a little impatient with her student. He'd been acting strangely all
week and in her opinion he had good reason to.
"No" Remus shrugged. "Who cares it's not like we'll actually be using this in
the real world"
"Transfiguration is an enormous part of the Wizarding community, this is not a
subject to be taken lightly..." she said seriously.
"In your world it might me" Remus scoffed averting his eyes nervously. The
waves of fear and nervousness radiating off of him were intense, you needn't
have to look at Remus to know he was practically forcing himself to behave this
way.
"Yeah Moony good job!" Sirius grinned clapping Remus gently on the back.
James watched as a light blush and sheepish grin spread across Remus' face. His
haze eyes narrowed, it wasn't the first time he'd seen that look in Remus'
eyes, he'd been acting strange around Sirius since the start of term, more so
than usual. It had been a good few months now and Remus still seemed flighty
and embarrassed around their friend but for what reason James couldn't
understand... until now...
"You'll have to share your secret with us, how do you get away with it?" Sirius
grinned.
"Yeah Remus come on, tell us!" Peter chimed.
Remus' blush deepened and he dropped his eyes to his lap squirming in his seat.
The other's didn't seem to be able to pick up anything from it, but James knew
better.
"I just... don't know" Remus shrugged a little glancing up through long lashes
into Sirius' handsome face. The twinkle in his eye didn't go unnoticed by
James.
If one thing was for sure, James would have to talk to Remus and soon...
***** Chapter 5 The Truth About Sirius Black *****
It was Sunday morning, the temperature in the grounds was dropping by the day,
frost covered the wide plains of grass, crackling on the window panes and a
heavy pale grey cloud hung over the forest amongst a light morning fog.
Remus woke that morning feeling much better, he stretched out and sipped his
potion gazing around the dormitory, James was sitting on his bed dressed in his
lazy day clothes flipping through some sort of catalogue, Sirius was still
tucked up in his covers (although Remus suspected he probably wasn't sleeping
just lying there) and Peter was busy getting dressed.
It would only be a few more weeks until Christmas, Remus would be nine weeks
pregnant tomorrow, time was beginning to fly by and he knew that soon he would
have to start making some decisions about pretty much everything in his life,
he planned to keep the baby after he or she was born but how would he handle
his parents, Sirius, the school, his school work, his friends, general living
and finance? He needed to come up with something fast but at least he had a few
months to prepare.
A loud yawn from the next bed over caught his attention and he watched, still
sipping his potion, as Sirius emerged rubbing his eyes and rolling onto his
side to smile at him.
"Good morning, sleepy head" James called from across the room. Sirius laughed
and smiled again to Remus.
"Hi"
"Hey" Remus breathed resting his now empty goblet on the bedside table.
"Plans for today?"
Remus shook his head feeling a light blush creeping up his neck. "Just laze
around in here and stuff" he shrugged casually.
"Sounds like a great Sunday to me" Sirius sighed glancing at his bedside table
to where a goblet of juice and a plate of toast were sitting. "What?"
"James brought us up some food" Remus explained quickly. "He and Peter were up
first"
"What you saying about me?!"
"Nothing, Peter" Remus yawned snuggling himself back down under the covers
gazing at Sirius. The boy chuckled pulling his covers up higher across his face
as Remus buried most of his own under them, peeking out and smiling so the top
of his nose wrinkled lightly and his eyes glittered softly. He was absolutely
adorable.
Sirius mimicked the gesture back to him watching the blush spread across Remus'
handsome face.
Remus blushed and giggled quietly pulling more faces at Sirius, he couldn't
believe how hot Sirius looked this morning, not just hot but cute too. How was
it that someone could just be and have everything? Why did Sirius get to be
gorgeous, hot, sexy, cute, handsome and just so... everything all at the same
time? How was that fair? His girlfriend was so lucky...
"I think I'm gonna order some new Quidditch stuff, says in here they've brought
out some new support underwear for when you're on a broom" James said loudly
breaking their little game.
"You don't need that, Prongs, that's for hung guys" Sirius teased. Remus burst
out laughing under his covers.
James' cheeks went red and he shot a death glare at his friend. "Shush, you"
"Why would you waste money on them? There's a charm on the brooms anyway so
they're comfy on your crotch, like a cushion" said Remus sitting himself up to
look at James properly.
"Well yeah but this stuff stops any movement, enhances the charm, and keeps you
flat so there aint that big bulge sticking out" said James.
Sirius stifled a laugh and watched as Remus snuggled back down under his covers
muttering "Fair enough"
A couple of hours went by and the boys were finally up, dressed and busying
themselves with various tasks in the dorm.
"Hey Remus?" James said quietly approaching his friend.
"Yeah?"
"Fancy coming on a little walk with me after lunch? Just the two of us I need
to talk to you about something" said the bespectacled boy.
Remus studied James a moment, his whole demeanour clearly stated discomfort, he
didn't seem his usual self and his eyes were filled with worry. "If this is
about what is going on with me then no I won't" the werewolf said warily, he
really wasn't up to telling James anything about the baby right now, Sirius
would be the first to know, it was only right.
"No, not about that" James said quickly shaking his head. "No don't worry I'm
not gonna patronise you about that"
Remus relaxed visibly with relief. "Okay then, I'll come" he smiled.
"Cool" James smiled weakly. "Guys are we gonna go down for some food now?" he
called to Sirius and Peter whom were sitting playing Wizards chess.
"Definitely this game is boring as hell!" Peter jumped to his feet almost
knocking the board over.
"Careful! And this game isn't boring" Sirius argued shoving it back in its
case.
"Yes it is"
"Just because you're no good at it..." Sirius grumbled getting to his feet and
stretching his arms above his head. "Right then, let's go" he grinned.
They left the dormitory, Remus pulling his cloak around himself as they made
their way down the flights of marble staircases.
"So had any more luck with Lily?" Sirius asked slinging an arm around James'
shoulders.
"Alright, Padfoot my friend, not so bad I think she's starting to warm up to
me" he said his face spreading into a smirk. A small chuckle escaped his throat
"Actually I reckon that little piece friend of hers fancies me..."
"Ohh you gonna take it?" Peter said eagerly.
James just shrugged. "Dunno, I want to but I also don't want to ruin my chances
with Lily maybe it will make her jealous and maybe it will be the whole girl
rule of 'no dating friends ex boyfriends'" he sighed.
"You don't have to date her per say" Sirius waggled his eyebrows playfully. "If
you wanted some without the whole relationship thing, that way she couldn't
tell Lily you're dating because you wouldn't be"
"Very good idea, Sirius" James flashed his friend an eager grin.
Remus sighed shaking his head, how could James just be willing to use people
like that? He was a teenage boy and Remus understood a small amount of that but
he still didn't think it was right. Could that be what Sirius was doing with
his girlfriend? They hadn't really gone public, after all...
"Hey Moony, what do you think?" Sirius asked glancing back over his shoulder at
the werewolf.
"Oh, uhh I guess if he wants to he can" Remus said quickly, he didn't fancy
causing an argument with anyone today, and if he wanted Sirius to pay him more
attention he couldn't be a miserable git.
They headed down into the entrance hall.
"Hey Prongs look at that!" Sirius beamed.
James looked up gazing off in the direction Sirius was now pointing.
Remus' eyes followed and he tensed, he knew what was coming.
"Snivellus" James breathed his eyes flashing dangerously, his lips curling into
a nasty smile just baring his teeth.
"Oi Snape!" Sirius shouted.
The boy stopped walking and whirled around his hand delving into his pocket
ripping out his wand near light speed, he had it pointed at James glaring at
him dangerously.
James threw his head back and barked a laugh. "Really, Snape? We've seen that
same move a thousand times before now, don't you ever plan to change it up a
little?"
Severus' cheeks went a little hot, his dark eyebrows creasing into a frown.
"I'm warning you, Potter..."
"What are you going to do Snivellus? Wipe your greasy nose on us?" Sirius
laughed.
"Or his hair!" Peter chimed in. "Never had a wash, Snape?"
Severus' cheeks went redder in anger, he appeared to be grinding his teeth.
"Shut up, Pettigrew, we all know you're just a pathetic tag-along" he said
coldly.
The smile faded from Peter's face, James and Sirius exchanged dark looks.
"Touched a nerve did I?" Snape smirked.
"Get a life, Snivellus I feel sorry for you" Sirius spat. "Look at you, greasy,
hideous, awful kid all on your lonesome with no fucking mates" he added with a
laugh. "Nobody even cares about you, how does that feel?"
Severus stiffened but didn't lower his wand, by now James and Sirius were
clutching theirs in their hands. "I do have friends actually, I don't need back
up twenty four seven unlike you because I'm not afraid" he snarled.
Sirius laughed. "Oh yeah? The speed you spun round and had your wand on us when
we didn't even do anything say's otherwise" he challenged quirking an eyebrow
sarcastically.
"Watch your mouth, Black, or I might have to put a curse so nasty on you that
you won't walk for a week" Snape said coolly.
Remus watched a tiny flicker of concern go through Sirius' eyes, he knew his
friend would never be afraid of Snape but having been on the receiving end of
Severus' wand work on more than one occasion he was well informed that the boy
would not take it lightly.
"Curse me and I'll castrate you right here and now" Sirius growled dangerously.
Now Severus did look slightly frightened, he knew he couldn't win against four
of them, well three seeing as Lupin never got involved or was horrible to him
but he never tried to stop anything either.
"Let's just go for lunch" said Remus. "I'm bored of him"
James, Sirius and Peter all turned to smirk at their friend.
"Even good boy Lupin agrees that you're a bore, Snivellus" James laughed
pocketing his wand. "Bye, Snape, have fun being alone" he waved and the four
boys walked away laughing leaving Severus standing there red faced and fuming.
They made their way into the great hall, sitting down they began piling their
plates with food.
Remus took a bowl of chips and gravy, a light salad and a hot dog. He ate
listening only vaguely to his friends conversation.
"You seem a lot better now, Moony" Sirius smiled.
Remus felt that familiar blush creeping up to his cheeks whenever Sirius spoke
to him. "Much" he smiled vaguely catching James' eye. He was being watched.
"You seem so much healthier" he commented. "Still not gonna tell us what was
wrong?"
Remus swallowed and shook his head turning his eyes back on his food, he didn't
want to hold his gaze in case Sirius took the opportunity to probe him for more
information.
"So... does it mean you're completely better or on your way there?" James asked
curiously.
"Nowhere near" said Remus.
"We still have to be really careful of you then" Sirius replied.
Remus nodded quickly. "Please, and thank you for understanding and being kind
to me and gentle with me because it would cause serious problems if you
weren't"
"Remus you're like our brother" said James.
"Yeah we love you" Peter added.
"All of us love you" Sirius said.
Remus looked up into their faces and smiled warmly. "Thanks, I appreciate it
and love you guys too" he looked straight at Sirius when he spoke.
They finished eating and left the great hall, James gave Remus' arm a light tug
to gain his attention and nodded over to the main doors leading out into the
grounds.
Remus swallowed nervously and nodded his head, what could James possibly want
to speak to him about?
"Listen you two Remus and I are gonna go for a walk, we'll see you back in the
common room later?" James said quickly.
Sirius and Peter stopped to look at them both grinning eagerly. "Yeah sure"
said Sirius almost waving them off.
"Padfoot is gonna help me with my Defence homework anyway" Peter shrugged. "See
you in a bit"
"Great, bye" James waved.
They parted ways and Remus followed James out into the courtyard flexing his
hands uncomfortably, why was he so nervous about James wanting to speak with
him? They were friends. Remus did however get the impression this was something
rather serious.
They headed out into the grounds setting off along a light gravel path they
walked in silence for only a few minutes until James finally decided to speak.
"Moony I really need to talk to you about something" he began. "Recently I've
been noticing stuff, well not just recently but for a while now and it's had me
thinking and worrying about you"
Remus swallowed nervously but tried to remain cool. "Oh? What's that?" he spoke
casually.
James sighed, opening and closing his mouth a few times he was finding it
difficult how to put this. "I know your secret" he said after some time.
Remus' blood ran cold, his heart skipped a beat. James knew? James knew?! How
could he have possibly found out about the baby? Remus was so careful not to
leave anything lying around, say anything that might incriminate him, he'd
sworn Pomfrey and the teachers to secrecy and he was careful not to even
mention the word baby around anybody or give them any reason to suspect a
pregnancy so how-
"You love Sirius"
Remus stopped right in his tracks, his whole world seemed to have done a
somersault. This wasn't what he had been expecting but it wasn't exactly good
or a relief either... "What?" he asked blankly.
James turned to stare at him. "I know you're in love with Sirius"
Remus had to think fast. "What?" he barked a false laugh. "That's crazy! Where
did you get an idea like that from, Prongs?" his voice was light but incredibly
off key.
"It's just the way you are around him" said James.
"He's my friend"
"That doesn't stop you from falling for him"
Remus pursed his lips as they continued walking, how could James have noticed?
He was careful about this, he had been treading lightly, careful not to let on
to anyone that he'd fallen for Sirius and was trying to win him over. Had
someone been talking about him? or maybe it was just a lucky guess.
"Don't be silly, James" Remus said quietly refusing to meet his friends eye.
"Remus please don't play dumb with me, I know okay? I've seen how you are
around him, the way you look at him that longing, needy, hungry gaze, the way
you always blush when he talks to you, how you've been making yourself up,
acting out and being completely different around him it's like you're trying to
win his attention and his approval especially in this last week or so, you've
been really weird around him for ages" James said staring at Remus his face
filled with genuine concern.
Remus said nothing.
James sighed rolling his hazel eyes to the over cast sky. "You can talk to me
you know"
"I guess you've told him..." Remus said quietly his eyes dropping to the frosty
ground beneath his feet.
"No I haven't"
Remus looked up studying James' face closely his brows knitted together. "You
haven't?"
James shook his head. "I wouldn't do that to you, Moony it's your business,
Padfoot is my friend he's like a brother to me but so are you and if I told him
that wouldn't be right or fair on either of you"
Remus nodded slowly trying to take it all in. This honestly had not been what
he was expecting James to want to talk about, for a moment there he even
suspected James was going to say he fancied him but thankfully that wasn't the
case and it didn't happen.
"Look I know what it's like to fall for someone, look at Lily and I but I feel
that it wouldn't be right to let this continue" James said calmly.
Remus glanced to him. "Is it because I'm gay?" he said coolly.
"No, no of course it isn't, I'm not against gay people and I have nothing
against you or your sexuality and choices but it's... hard for me to say this
to you without hurting you" James struggled through gritted teeth.
"What is it?"
"Remus I don't want to hurt you"
"You'll hurt me more by not telling me than just being honest, I'm a human
being I have feelings too" Remus said quickly knowing full well he probably had
a very high level of emotionality at the moment with his pregnancy hormones on
top of his normal teenage ones.
James was quiet for about a minute, the only sound was of their feet crunching
against the frozen gravel. "He doesn't like you back" James said quietly.
Remus' stomach churned with discomfort and he looked away, he knew in reality
Sirius would probably never like him or fall for him in that way, he wasn't
even gay but that didn't crush his hope.
"I don't want to hurt you with it Remus but I feel like I should do the right
thing and be responsible about this, we're all the best of friends, brothers
until the end but I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay?"
Remus nodded tears welling up and brimming in his eyes more with each word the
bespectacled boy spoke. "Okay" his voice was shaking and he had to force that
hard lump in his throat down.
James sighed only just catching Remus' eye. This was so hard. "Please don't get
upset, Moony, I know it's hard but there is someone out there for you who will
love you and care for you no matter what it just... isn't going to be
Sirius..." he said awkwardly.
Remus sniffled slightly as the tears fell silently down his face. James noticed
it and reached out to touch Remus' arm but the boy shook him off.
"Promise me you aren't going to do anything silly" said James quickly.
"Like what?" Remus' voice was breaking.
"Go in all guns blazing, start a fight, upset Sirius or hurt yourself" James
said nervously.
"You really think I'm like that?"
"You have been chasing after someone with a girlfriend..."
Remus stopped in his tracks staring hard at James his mouth hanging open and
tears still falling down his pale cheeks. "Excuse me?"
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded..." James sighed turning to face him.
"No you did or you wouldn't have said it!"
"Remus please-"
"Don't you dare try and patronise me or dictate my life, I know he doesn't want
me and he doesn't love me, he never will I'm not an idiot I can see things for
myself thanks" Remus spat.
"Remus don't-"
"Get upset? Too late for that, Prongs, you don't understand any of this, any of
my situation at all" Remus sniffed shaking his head tears still streaming down
his face. "I can't believe you said this to me you're supposed to be my mate"
"I am I was only trying to stop you making a fool of yourself!" James argued
but snapped his mouth shut when he realised just how upset Remus looked.
"So I'm making a fool of myself am I? For being in love?!" Remus breathed. He
stood shaking his head positively glaring at James. "Everybody else in the
entire fucking world gets to be happy, have a normal life, find love and be
treated normally, well that will never happen for me I've done nothing wrong
and I'm always punished for it when is it ever going to be my turn to be
happy?!"
"You do deserve to be happy, Remus and there is nothing wrong with you people
who treat you badly are disgusting and ignorant but your condition isn't the
problem here!"
"It's part of it" said Remus. "I just want to feel normal, accepted and happy
for once in my life so why did you have to do this? I understand where you're
coming from but I'm not an idiot and I just want to feel something other than
loneliness!"
"You aren't alone you have Sirius, Peter and me" James sighed.
"Yes but that isn't just what I want, I want some more, I want to feel more and
I want to feel loved! Your friendship is worth the world to me but is it wrong
to want something more? More than just friendship"
"No but you are taking this too far, Remus, he is never going to fucking love
you so please get that into your thick skull and get used to it because the way
you're behaving nobody ever will love you!"
Remus felt his heart break in two. His entire posture slumped and more tears
streamed down his face.
James' face softened and he reached out to Remus. "Oh Remus I'm sorry-"
Remus yanked himself away, whirled around and before James could do anything
began sprinting back towards the castle sobbing his heart out. He didn't even
turn to James' calls he continued to run up the path, through the courtyard and
back into the castle. He brushed past a group of students trying to stifle his
sobs and headed for the stairs before anyone realised he was crying.
He took the stairs at a slower pace, passing students, some turning to stare at
him and talk or whisper as he passed. When he'd gone up a few floors he caught
sight of something he didn't want to see.
Sirius Black heading up the staircase ahead of him.
Remus burst into more floods of tears and hurtled past his friend as quickly as
possible hoping he hadn't been seen.
"Remus?!" Sirius gasped with surprise as the boy charged past him. "Moony!" he
called but Remus didn't turn back.
Panic washed over Sirius and he hurried after Remus in the direction he was
running, most likely towards the Gryffindor tower.
Remus sobbed out the password and ran through the common room, up into the
dormitory he slammed the door behind him. He couldn't believe what had just
happened, what James had said and how he had treated hm. It wasn't fair or
right, Remus knew he was probably being a bit over emotional about this but he
couldn't help it, James didn't understand him, nobody did, he was pregnant at
fifteen with a real baby and he just wanted Sirius to love him back, he wanted
to be held, cared for and told everything would be alright in the end, he had
so much worry, fear loneliness and hurt he didn't know what to do with it.
In a blind panic, he charged across the dormitory, throwing open his trunk he
began shovelling his things into it willy-nilly. He was so angry, upset, hurt
and confused. He knew Sirius would never like him in any romantic way but it
was so much worse when someone said it out loud.
He felt so foolish, as James said, foolish for what he had done, what he had
been doing. Remus was crying and thrusting his things into his trunk, he didn't
even notice the door open or even snick closed behind him.
"Moony?" Sirius' voice rang out making the werewolf jump.
Remus froze in the middle of throwing a school shirt into his trunk, he
hiccoughed and kept his back to the boy so Sirius didn't see his face, the last
thing he wanted was for Sirius to see him cry.
"Remus what's wrong? What's all this, are you going somewhere?" Sirius asked
worriedly taking several tentative steps towards the boy.
Remus tensed and sniffled loudly hurriedly wiping the tears from his cheeks
before throwing his shirt into his trunk. "Yes, home"
"But why?" Sirius blinked, confused.
Remus didn't say anything.
"Remus what has happened?" Sirius asked calmly moving a little closer to Remus,
he stopped leaning against Peter's bed post.
Remus stopped what he was doing to stand with the palms of his hands over his
eyes trying to fight back the tears.
"Moony?"
"Please Sirius just... leave it..."
"Remus where is James, has he said something to you?" Sirius asked worriedly.
"It's fine, it's nothing" Remus' shoulders were shaking as he fought back more
sobs, how could this get any worse?
"I'm not stupid, Remus, I can see you're upset, please just stop and talk to
me"
Just like James' words.
"Whatever has happened I'll help you, I don't like seeing you so hurt" Sirius
swallowed. "It hurts me to see you like this I really care about you, Moony" he
said seriously.
Remus couldn't stop the sobs now, his shoulders went and he burst into floods
of tears streaming down his face, everything had mounted and gotten too much.
"Remus?"
Remus whirled around looking Sirius straight in the eye with tears running down
his cheeks he cried "I FUCKING LOVE YOU, OKAY?"
Sirius' world came crashing down his eyes widened, jaw dropped and he stared at
Remus with utter shock and confusion, he had never felt more devastated in his
life. Did Remus really say that?
Remus' face crumpled a little and he burst into tears once again.
The sight of Remus crying tore Sirius' heart out of his chest, he didn't have
time to speak, he didn't have time to think before he threw himself across the
short distance grasping Remus' pretty face in his hands, he brought their lips
together in a rough, passionate and oh so tender kiss.
The entire world stopped, zoned in, and exploded again between the two boys.
The rush of emotions, affection, love and pure joy that hit Remus was enough to
make him stagger and almost fall, his legs went weak and Sirius snaked an arm
gently around his lower back to support him as he clutched the front of his
friend's clothes.
Time seemed to stop for those minutes whilst they kissed, neither one of them
moving, too absorbed in what they were doing to think of anything else.
Very slowly they drew apart, Remus' eyes cracked open, his lips parted and
slowly he looked up into Sirius' beautiful silver eyes searching them
desperately for some kind of emotion, there was so much in them, so much
feeling and intensity he couldn't pinpoint anything.
Remus swallowed and tried to speak but no words came out.
"Remus" Sirius whispered as the boy looked up and met his eye again. "I fucking
love you too"
Remus' lips parted further and his blue eyes widened, had he heard that right?
Was Sirius actually being serious? "W-what?"
"I love you too" Sirius breathed gently pressing his lips to Remus' cheek.
"You actually- love me?" the werewolf stammered. This had to be a dream, a
confusing but wonderful dream.
Sirius nodded his eyes filled with honesty.
Remus didn't know what to say, what to do, what to think. He'd been imagining,
dreaming of the moment Sirius would say this to him and how he would react but
he couldn't utter a single word, he was so shocked, confused and happy he
didn't know whether he was coming or going, he still wasn't even convinced this
was really happening.
"Remus" Sirius said after some time.
Remus looked up again.
"Do you want to be with me?" Sirius asked calmly.
"W-what about your girlfriend?" Remus breathed.
"She never existed"
"WHAT?!" Remus gasped pulling back a little to wildly search Sirius' handsome
face. He'd made her up? She wasn't a real person?
Sirius' cheeks reddened a little and he averted his eyes shyly. "Moony I- I
made her up because I wanted to make you jealous..."
"You wanted to make me jealous?" Remus breathed his lips curling up into a
small smile he loved to see Sirius like this. He honestly could not believe
this was happening it was like an absolute dream.
Sirius nodded shyly "I didn't know how else to get your attention so I made her
up to try and get you jealous"
Remus chuckled and blushed furiously. "I have a confession to make..."
"What's that?"
"I was extremely jealous and..." Remus trailed off a little feeling the blood
beating to the very tips of his ears.
"And?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.
"I was doing things to get your attention... a lot of things" he blushed
furiously trying not to meet Sirius' sparkling eyes.
Sirius chuckled. "I've noticed you've been very different recently, with the
way you are and just your whole attitude goes up and down at times"
Remus smirked and flashed a small grin without meeting Sirius' eye. "I made
myself up, did my hair and changed my clothes to get your attention" he said
shyly fiddling with the soft material of Sirius' hoodie. "I'd act up, be rude
to teachers and not do y homework because I thought it would get your
attention"
"And it did" Sirius smiled warmly. "I found you so fucking sexy that day when
you walked out of the bathroom like a Play Witch model, I'm gonna be honest
here and say I was hard all day" he flushed a little catching Remus' eye. "I
just wanted to undress you and kiss every inch of your body, I know that sounds
inappropriate right now but I just have to be honest with you"
"You already have seen me in the nude" Remus mumbled.
"Yeah you were my first and you were amazing" Sirius smiled.
Remus' head shot up and he looked into Sirius' face. "I was your first?"
Sirius nodded his cheeks turning a light rosy pink. "If you'd count that as a
first time having real sex, either way I hadn't done anyone before, we were
drunk and I knew you might regret losing it like that, I just wanted to be
close to you" he said softly.
"I really enjoyed it, thanks for being so considerate of me" Remus said
quietly, his brain had a chance to kick back into gear again now all he could
think of was baby, baby, baby, baby.
"So, you never did give me an answer" Sirius said lightly.
Remus looked up into his eyes.
"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"
"YES" It was blurted out of Remus' mouth before it could stop it, his cheeks
shot up in flames and he chuckled softly, so much for not sounding too eager.
Sirius chuckled gently stroking the side of Remus' face. "Good"
They remained quiet for a few minutes just gazing into each other's faces.
"So you never told me why you were crying earlier, it can't just be because you
love me you were in a right state" Sirius said pressing one soft kiss to Remus'
lips.
Remus shifted nervously in Sirius' arms a moment. "Well... I had a bit of a
fight with Prongs" he admitted.
"Why?"
"He said some stuff and I said some stuff" Remus shrugged. "You know"
"Moony that was no simple argument, what happened?" Sirius said seriously.
Remus sighed and sank his teeth into his bottom lip, he knew if he told Sirius
the boy would be angry but it wasn't fair to keep what was said from him,
besides, he might find out later from James or something and be hurt that Remus
didn't tell him so it really left him with no other options. "It was about you"
he said finally.
Sirius' eyebrows shot into his hairline. "Me?"
Remus nodded. "He… figured out that I fell in love with you and he just
basically told me that you weren't gay or interested, you had a girlfriend,
didn't love me and I was making a fool of myself for trying to get your
attention"
Anger flickered across Sirius' face.
"Please don't get mad" said Remus. "He didn't want to see me hurt"
"But he was the one hurting you" Sirius replied.
"Yes he was but I really didn't think you'd love me, ever, and I thought that I
was hurting myself by chasing you so I guess I brought it on myself, what he
said pissed me off and hurt me it made me feel so small but he was only looking
out for me and to be honest you had a very good demeanour booked for the
boyfriend and girlfriend thing we all genuinely believed you" Remus rambled.
"I can't say I'm not mad at him..." said Sirius with a sigh. "But I get his
angle even if he did go about it the wrong way"
Remus nodded slowly. "He just didn't understand my situation, the situation I'm
in nobody does and just everything got on top of me" he breathed resting his
forehead against Sirius' warm chest.
"What do you mean by the situation you're in and nobody understands you?"
Sirius frowned.
Remus froze, he knew it would only be right to tell Sirius, he was terrified of
losing him and maybe he would but this had to be done. He was a caring,
compassionate sort of person and wouldn't be able to go along with this keeping
Sirius in the dark, for his own sake and the safety of his baby as much as
anything else.
"Remus?"
"Sirius I think you had better sit down..."
"Wha-"
"Please just sit" Remus said gesturing towards his bed.
Slowly Sirius released Remus from his arms and gently took his hand, he sat
cross legged on the werewolf's bed watching Remus climb on in front of him his
lips set in a grim line. "I really am not prepared to tell you this I haven't
even though about how I would tell you because... I was going to keep it from
you so I didn't ruin your life"
"Remus whatever it is I'm sure I can help you get through this, it can't be
that bad" Sirius said gently taking Remus' hands in his own.
A laugh erupted from Remus' throat as he gazed into Sirius' eyes shaking his
head. "You have no idea what has been going on at all" he breathed.
"Remus please tell me you're starting to scare me" Sirius swallowed nervously.
"I'd like a promise first... please" the werewolf almost whispered.
"Anything"
"Promise me you won't get angry, shout at me, or hate me" Remus said quietly.
Sirius saw the barriers around Remus completely shatter and fall down, he was
exposed, frightened and vulnerable and all Sirius wanted to do was help him.
"Moony... I promise"
"Thank you" Remus whispered. He closed his eyes in a long slow blink before
reaching around Sirius into his pillow and pulling out a piece of square paper.
He sat back a few moments just staring at it. "Remember when we had sex using
that hole with the potion?"
Sirius nodded. "Course"
"Well I guess we hadn't really known much about the potion at the time and I
don't know how much research you have done on it but it helped something to
happen inside of me..." Remus said quietly.
"Oh Merlin Remus are you okay!?" Sirius breathed his eyes wide with panic.
"Shit I've hurt you haven't I?"
"No you haven't" Remus said quickly. "But you have done something..."
Sirius opened his mouth to speak but Remus glanced down at the paper in his
hands nervously before handing it over. Sirius too it raising an eyebrow
questioningly. "What-"
"I'm pregnant" Remus breathed.
"WHAT?!" Sirius gasped.
"You impregnated me" Remus said quietly.
"But Remus, how? You're a boy" Sirius said shaking his head with disbelief, he
was not expecting anything like this, maybe that Remus had been with someone,
he was sick or something but not that he was pregnant, he was expecting
anything over that.
"That potion" the werewolf almost whispered. "In rare cases it can help cause a
male pregnancy and... it's happened to me"
Sirius didn't speak he just stared open mouthed at Remus struggling to take all
of this in, his eyes slowly dropped to the scan photo in his hands of the tiny
moving, flickering baby. "Is it mine?"
"Of course it's yours"
Sirius' mouth opened and closed several times, Remus closed his eyes sitting
waiting for the blow.
"Oh Merlin you're pregnant?!" Sirius' voice actually sounded excited.
Remus' eyes fluttered open and he nodded nervously.
"Oh Remus!" Sirius beamed throwing his arms around the werewolf pulling him
gently into his lap for a proper cuddle pressing soft kisses to wherever he
could reach. "This is so amazing!"
Remus had never felt so surprised or baffled in his life, did Sirius really
want this? Was he actually happy about the baby? "You want it?" he breathed.
"The baby?"
Remus nodded quickly.
"Moony of course I want it, it's your baby and it's mine too, I never thought I
would ever have kids"
"Neither did I"
"We're guys and it's rare so in my opinion this is a miracle" Sirius' eyes were
twinkling with pleasure.
"I really was not expecting this reaction..." Remus laughed his eyes wide and
cheeks flushed, this just had to be a dream.
"You thought I'd say I didn't want either of you?"
Remus nodded, embarrassed. "I really didn't think you'd want me anyway but
especially if I have a baby most guys would do a runner, now I understand the
worry of girls who are having sex but I do have to confess something"
"What's that?"
"I wasn't actually going to tell you..."
Sirius' brows creased together with concern. "Why not?"
"This may sound silly when I say it out loud but it was because I was terrified
of ruining your life, I just thought that you're a Pureblood, you have
everything, you are so popular, intelligent and you have a girlfriend that
maybe for you it would be best to keep it quiet so you could go on living your
life as normal and the baby wouldn't ruin it for you"
"Don't be so silly" Sirius laughed. "You and our baby are more important than
popularity and blood purity" he smiled warmly.
Remus loved he way Sirius said 'our baby'. "You really mean that?" he asked his
voice filled with hope.
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't, I'm no liar"
Remus buried his face in Sirius' chest inhaling his warm, intoxicating scent
deeply into his chest, this was all so perfect and so magical, he couldn't
believe he had Sirius all to himself let alone they were going to have a baby
together and Sirius was actually going to be heavily involved, he wanted the
kid and that meant the world to Remus it just proved that the love for the baby
would be shared equally and he or she would grow up with two loving parents,
more than a lot of kids had, more than Sirius had himself.
"We've been talking for ages" Sirius chuckled after some time. "I like it
though"
"Me too" said Remus lifting his face to gaze up into Sirius' eyes, he couldn't
stop that familiar blush creeping up to his cheeks.
"Why are you blushing?" Sirius smiled reaching up to stroke Remus' cheek.
"Because I really like you, I always blush around you it's actually rather
annoying" Remus cringed a little only making his reddened cheeks worse.
"Aww that's fucking adorable" Sirius smiled cupping Remus' face and leaning in
to bring their lips together in their second proper kiss.
When they pulled apart Remus was blushing even more. "You kissed me" he said in
a soft but accusing voice giving his now boyfriend's chest a little prod.
Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "So cute"
"M'not cute"
"Moony don't argue with me, you have no idea just how cute you are" Sirius
smiled warmly pressing a tiny kiss to the very tip of Remus' nose watching the
boys blush spread even further. "How far along are you?"
"Almost nine weeks" Remus smiled. "Tomorrow"
Sirius' eyebrows rose. "Wow, and is this why you've been really weird and sick
lately?"
Remus nodded. "Hormones, emotional, tiredness, aches, frequent urination and
morning sickness"
"Oh Remus why didn't you tell me and I would have helped you with it" Sirius
sighed shaking his head.
"Because I haven't known for very long at all about the baby and I got Slughorn
to make me a potion which has helped-"
"So that's why the teachers have been so lenient with you!" Sirius gasped
snapping his fingers with the sudden realisation. "Isn't it? They know you're
pregnant so they've been really good to you and really lax about pretty much
everything!"
Remus nodded, embarrassed. "Yeah and I was only acting out because I wanted to
impress you, to be more like you so you would think me perhaps worthy of
dating, I wanted to feel special and sexy..." he admitted.
"You already were special and sexy" Sirius smiled. "Have a little faith in
yourself, look at you" he said his eyes roaming over Remus' slender frame. "You
aren't exactly ugly in the slightest, you're hot, I've heard guys and girls say
things about you especially that day you suddenly came out like a model it was
a shock"
Remus blushed and looked down. "I only did that for your attention"
"And you got my attention, my cocks attention and every straight female and
queer guy in the school" Sirius chuckled watching a smile curl in the corners
of Remus' mouth. "You're so fit, why can't you see that yourself?"
Remus shrugged. "Because you're much better looking than I am and good looking
guys and girls only go out with the best looking people"
"Moony you ARE a best looking person, you're gorgeous don't feel threatened by
anything because I want to be with you"
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Remus asked confusedly.
"Why didn't you?"
Both boys burst into fits of laughter.
"I guess I was too nervous to say anything in case you didn't feel the same
way, it's not like asking out a girl it's asking out a boy, a boy best friend"
Sirius explained. "If you'd said no things might be really awkward between
us..."
"I would never say no to you" Remus said quietly.
"And I you" Sirius breathed. "So have you been seeing anyone else...?"
"Of course I haven't" Remus said. "You?"
"You know I made her up" Sirius chuckled. "No I haven't and besides I've
actually been really worried about you"
"Because of my pregnancy?"
Sirius nodded once. "Mm, only I didn't know it was your pregnancy at the time"
"It's still only early but this is supposed to be the worst time for pregnancy,
and well, I guess it would be if it weren't for my potion that morning sickness
was awful but it wears off naturally about three months" Remus explained. "I am
feeling better than I was just a bit all over the place and stuff it's no big
deal really" he shrugged a little.
"Moony it is a big deal you're growing a baby" Sirius smiled warmly.
"Yeah but I meant the feelings of pregnancy it's not just get pregnant and have
baby and everything around you is normal, it changes everything" Remus said.
"It feels nice but at the same time it's terrifying, not ideal, I'm nervous and
I'm worried but at the same time I'm happy"
"I don't know much about pregnancy because when my mum was pregnant with my
brother I was only a few months old we're just over a year apart" Sirius
sighed. "Like a year and three or four months, something like that"
"I have a book explaining everything week by week, we can read it together if
you want?" Remus smiled warmly.
"I'd like that" Sirius smiled. "Have you got a bump? You've obviously had a
scan to get this" he nodded down at the scan photo now sitting on the bed next
to him.
"Not really I think I might have gained a tiny bit of weight but no actual bump
yet" Remus smiled.
"Aww can I still see?" Sirius asked his eyes twinkling hopefully.
Remus smiled and shifted round to lie flat on his back on his bed, he blushed
lifting up the front of his top exposing his tummy to Sirius.
The boy turned around and smiled lying on his side next to the werewolf he
gently ran his fingers over Remus' surprisingly sensitive navel listening to
the tiny gasp escaping his lips.
"I think my skin is becoming more sensitive, my whole body has changed" Remus
said. "My hormones are just making a mess of me sometimes, as I said my
emotions are all over the place, my skin, my chest, just everything has had
some kind of an impact from my pregnancy, I never in a million years thought
I'd have a kid let alone get pregnant with one especially at my age"
"You know I'm going to help you through this right? We've got so much to talk
about" Sirius smiled. "I'll always love and care for both of you, actually even
though I'm shocked and I do have concerns but I feel like we can do this, I've
loved you for a long while now but I was scared you didn't feel the same"
"Even after how I acted when we were drunk?" Remus' face went up in flames
whenever he thought about that incident.
"You were incredibly gorgeous"
"You didn't think I was too easy?"
"No just very horny" Sirius chuckled.
They lay side by side talking for what seemed like hours, Remus with his head
on Sirius' chest until they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.
A few hours went by and the dormitory door clicked open, James stuck his head
in with Peter by his side. The sunlight was fading out and the dormitory was in
darkness, clapping he watched as the flamed wall torches sprung into life by
magic and what he saw made him do a real double take.
"What the fuck?"
"Prongs what- oh shit!" Peter gasped his mouth hanging open.
Slowly the two boys opened their eyes blinking around confusedly, squinting
through the semi-bright lighting (considering what they had been sleeping in
for so long now) until their eyes fell on their friends in the doorway.
And everything stopped.
"What is going on in here?" James blinked, confused.
The realisation and memories of what happened a good five hours ago now dawned
on Remus, his face fell and he glanced at Sirius whom seemed to be clenching
his teeth with anger.
"What right have you got to pretend to care about people's feelings?" he
snapped.
James quite frankly looked taken aback. "Excuse me?"
"Don't play dumb with my, Prongs, I've known you too long for you to piss
around like this now especially with me" Sirius said coolly. "What you said to
Remus earlier was not right!"
"I see he's told you about that" James said sparing a glance in Remus'
direction.
"You told him I'd never love him and he was making a fool of himself?!" Sirius
breathed slowly sitting up pulling Remus gently with him.
"Yes but-"
"Why would you do that? What logic or evidence do you even have to support
that?" Sirius' eyes flashed with a fresh challenge.
"You have a girlfriend for a start, you have never told me you like guys, that
you like Remus and you haven't made any comments that would make me even
consider the option that you might have fallen for him" James argued counting
the things off on his fingers like a little list.
"You were really harsh with me earlier" said Remus. "You hurt me"
"I told you that I was only doing it because I didn't want to see Sirius hurt
you!" James snapped.
"But you didn't have any grounds to do that on!" said Sirius. "You never asked
me anything about it, you don't know how I feel about Remus because I didn't
tell you I thought you might run off and blab to him seeing as he is your
friend too"
"So you don't' trust me" James said, hurt.
"I do trust you but I wasn't ready to say anything because Remus hadn't given
me reason to think he did fancy me" Sirius said quickly. "I only found out a
few hours ago when he blurted it out, yeah that's right, when he came bursting
back up here crying his eyes out over what you had said to him!"
"And I'm really sorry for that I knew he would be upset but he over reacted"
James argued again.
"He's got a reason to he's-"
Remus quickly grabbed Sirius' arm stopping him before he blurted anything about
the pregnancy out. "Not yet" he whispered.
Sirius looked Remus straight in the eye and nodded slowly. "It doesn't matter"
he said turning back to James. "We're together now and he is right you just
don't understand..."
"For fucks sake why do people keep saying that nobody understands Remus?!"
Peter groaned clutching at his head.
"Because you don't" said Sirius seriously.
"Can we please stop this fucking arguing we're like a bunch of bitchy girls!"
James groaned with frustration. "I can't be fucking bothered with this"
"Because you know you're the one in the wrong..." said Sirius.
"We can drop it if you apologise to me you really hurt me" Remus said quietly.
They all turned to look at him, the sad, hurt expression on his face was enough
to make their hearts melt a bit inside.
"I'm sorry for what I said Moony, my intentions were good but I guess I didn't
go about it in the right way" James said looking Remus straight in the eye.
"It's okay" Remus mumbled shifting a little closer to Sirius.
A few moments passed in silence before James decided to speak again.
"So are you two actually together now then?"
"Yes" they said.
"Okay" James nodded slowly.
"I didn't even know Sirius was queer" Peter said blankly.
"What about me?" it was Remus.
"Oh, well, yeah I suspected you were gay you just seem the raging homosexual
type" Peter shrugged casually.
"Umm, thanks?" Remus winced a little. "A raging homosexual, how nice"
"You are though, aren't you?" Peter raised his eyebrow curiously.
Sirius threw his head back and barked a laugh.
"Just make it worse for yourself, Peter" James chuckled.
"I don't mind him being a raging homosexual, surely being my boyfriend that
would be a good thing" Sirius chuckled smirking to Remus making him blush
nervously. "He's not a man whore or anything so what's the problem?"
Remus' face spread into a grin.
James pulled out his pocket watch and quickly checked the time. "How about we
go down for some food now?" he yawned. "Wouldn't mind an early night if I'm
honest guys"
"I think I could do with one as well" Remus yawned stretching his arm above his
head. "And I'm getting rather hungry"
"Can't have my Moony getting hungry, come on let's go" Sirius said eagerly an
excitable glitter in his eyes. Remus smirked, he knew exactly what that was
about.
They got up from the bed pulling on their shoes they followed James and Peter
back down into the common room, as they were passing through Sirius did
something to shock Remus, slowly he laced their fingers together, looked down
at him and smiled warmly.
"Is this okay?" he asked warily noticing Remus' surprised expression.
"Of course it is" Remus said as they passed out onto the stairs, James and
Peter only a few steps ahead of them talking quickly and laughing. "I just
wasn't expecting you to want to announce this right off the bat"
"Do you want to announce?"
Remus nodded quickly. "Just not about the baby until I get used to the idea of
you knowing I don't think I can handle too much in one day and let's face it,
today has been hectic" he breathed.
"The good kind of hectic?" Sirius chuckled.
"Yeah" Remus flashed him a grin. "I wasn't expecting it to be so good, not
after what happened after lunch anyway..."
"Still running away back to your parents?"
"Nope"
"Good" Sirius smiled.
They made their way down the staircases, the odd few students hovering about
turned to stare at the two boys as they passed, shifting closer to one another
to whisper about them.
They passed through the entrance hall a few people turning silent, well, the
few that noticed the hand holding. They headed into the great hall, dropping
into their seats they began piling their plates.
Remus couldn't believe this was happening, he'd gotten everything he wanted,
Sirius was his, he knew about the baby and was still willing to be with him and
even seemed thrilled by the idea, he was happy about other's knowing about the
relationship and he made Remus feel outstandingly happy in just the few hours
they had been together.
"You okay, Moony? You're drifting off a little..." Sirius said worriedly.
Remus looked up, smiled and nodded. "I'm fine, just thinking about today"
"Good things I hope" Sirius chuckled.
Remus blushed again and nodded excitedly. "Yes"
"You two aren't going to start all that cosy lovey-dovey stuff are you?" James
teased.
"Jealous?" it was Sirius.
James scoffed as dessert appeared on the table. "Try again, Padfoot"
They finished eating, Sirius watching Remus like a hawk encouraging him to eat
more before they got up and left the great hall discreetly, nobody else had
really seemed to notice the hand holding.
They made their way back up to the Gryffindor tower, Remus felt warm and
sleepy. Even as they passed through the common room he felt tired, once inside
the dormitory he went straight into the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth
before bed.
He couldn't believe it, Sirius, his. Just the thought of it sent little jolts
of pleasure through his body. Just this morning he had woken up thinking how
cute Sirius looked and how little chance he had with him, now he was in a
relationship with the man he loved, James had apologised and Remus had finally
told Sirius about the baby and everything had gone well. He could just get up
now and do a vibrant happy dance all around the room, he could stand at the top
of the Astronomy tower and sing to the heavens he felt so incredible.
Smiling to himself he left the bathroom switching places with Sirius giving him
a very soft look as he passed and made his way over to his bed. He pulled on
his pyjamas and slipped beneath the cool covers pouring himself some potion and
by the time his boyfriend came back out he was sipping at it happily.
"You look comfy" Sirius chuckled slouching over to him already wearing his dark
pyjamas.
"I am just a little cold" Remus smiled.
"Let me warm you right up" Sirius chuckled. He moved around the bed, lifted
back the covers and slipped in beside Remus pulling the boy gently into his
arms. They sat for a few moments in silence, Remus placed his goblet down on
the bedside table resting his head on Sirius' shoulder and wrapping his arms
around his waist.
"Better?"
"Much thank you" Remus smiled glancing up at his boyfriend, he still couldn't
believe this was actually Sirius.
"So tell me when your next scan is" Sirius said quietly.
"When I'm twelve weeks gone, three months so early December and Madame Pomfrey
will scan my tummy again" Remus yawned.
"Does it hurt?"
"No but the gel is kinda cold" Remus chuckled. "Do you... want to come?" he
asked hopefully gazing up at Sirius warmly.
"I'd love to" the boy smiled.
Remus sat up a little and slowly Sirius leaned down towards him his two fingers
resting under Remus' chin tilting his face up a little, their lips parted.
Remus' eyes fluttered closed as he felt Sirius' minty breath against his lips,
he had to hold back a moan as Sirius' lips fell tenderly against his own,
tenderly but passionately. He leaned forward a little more snaking his arms
around Sirius' neck. He felt Sirius chuckle slightly against his lips but his
arms wound very gently around Remus' middle as he brought their lips together
in another tender kiss.
After some minutes they drew apart slowly, their faces barely an inch apart
gazing into one another's eyes. Sirius was so handsome it was shocking.
"Your smell like peppermint" Remus whispered.
"So do you, and a little like strawberries" Sirius smiled.
"Potion" Remus chuckled. He smiled allowing Sirius to pull him down under the
covers.
"Right, let's get you properly warmed up" Sirius smiled pulling Remus back
under the covers. They settled down for a little while just enjoying one
another's company trying to let everything sink in.
"I guess I should go and get into bed then..." Sirius yawned apparently half
asleep.
Remus grumbled irritably cuddling onto Sirius tighter. "No" he said simply.
"No? You don't want me to go to my own bed?" Sirius asked softly.
Remus shook his head, his face buried in his new boyfriend's neck. "Stay here
and cuddle me I am so sleepy" he yawned.
"Mm sounds good to me" Sirius smiled. "I love you, Remus"
"I love you too, Sirius" Remus breathed.
Sirius watched as slowly Remus' eyes fell heavy and he drifted off to sleep. He
watched his new boyfriend for a little while sleeping peacefully.
That night when Sirius settled down properly to sleep beside his love, he
realised just how lucky he really was and he couldn't wait to see what the next
few weeks and months had in store...
***** Chapter 6 Regulus Black *****
The next morning when Remus woke he yawned slowly his eyes fluttering open. A
smile spread across his face as he gazed up slowly into the peacefully sleeping
face of his boyfriend.
His boyfriend...
The memories of yesterday came flooding back, the argument with James, the
kiss, the baby and now they were together. Remus' heart fluttered excitedly in
his chest. He sighed and sat up rubbing his tired eyes and pouring some potion.
He sat leaning against the headboard watching as Sirius' grey eyes opened
slowly.
Sirius yawned blinking up into Remus' face watching the boy sipping at his
potion. He smiled. "Good morning beautiful" he breathed stretching his legs out
under the covers.
A blush scattered across Remus' face, he downed the rest of his potion and
smiled. "Good morning to you too" he said snuggling back down under the covers
again.
"Tell me why you look so adorable in the morning when you're all warm and
sleepy?" Sirius chuckled softly as he ran his fingers through Remus' hair. "So
sweet"
"You're the one being sweet" Remus mumbled almost shyly. It felt strange to be
this way around Sirius after everything that happened yesterday. "Guess what?"
"What?"
"I'm nine weeks pregnant today" Remus breathed smiling up into his boyfriends'
face.
Sirius' eyebrows rose into his hairline. "Oh yeah so you are, so what happens
this week?" he asked curiously as he fiddled with a long lock of Remus' hair.
"I don't know yet" Remus smiled gently. "Wanna take a look at my book and find
out?" he asked almost hopefully.
"Sure" Sirius flashed him a pearly white grin.
Remus slid a hand down the side of the bed and pulled the book out, he turned
it over and flipped to the correct page with a smile playing on his face. He
glanced up at Sirius and began to read:
"This week your baby will have grown and developed into a healthy two inches in
length and weighs about a third of an ounce and all of his or her vital organs
will be nearly formed" he began. "The ears will be setting into their correct
position and the risk of defects and other problems decreases this week. Baby
can also move around in there now so on your next ultrasound scan you might be
able to see him or her flailing their arms around inside of you although you
won't be able to feel anything for a while yet"
"Cute" Sirius flashed a smile.
Remus smiled back and continued to read "This week it is also common for
headaches, tiredness, nausea and morning sickness and slight cramping as well
as your frequent urination. Also feeling unusually emotional is very common,
crying over silly things or being up and down are very normal parts of
pregnancy. You are still in the early stages so take it easy and be careful but
the baby is starting to form properly now and you should expect to start
developing a small baby bump within the next few weeks" Remus finished reading
and gazed up lovingly into Sirius' overly handsome face.
"You really do have an amazing body, Remus" Sirius breathed kissing the top of
the smaller boys head. "And not just appearance wise, you're growing a baby and
all this stuff is happening and you're still happy to go through with it" a
glimmer of excitement was welling up in Sirius' voice.
Remus grinned up into his lover's face. "I love you" Remus whispered.
"I love you too, Moony"
Remus hid the book again and curled up closer into Sirius' warm body. "How come
you never gave me any hint at all before that you liked me?" he asked out of
pure curiosity.
Sirius chuckled softly. "Because I was afraid that if I said anything it would
upset you or you wouldn't like me back and if you didn't it could ruin the
friendship" he said slowly. "Plus I'm a little more nervous than you give me
credit for I might seem like a bad boy, carefree, arrogant bastard but I'm not
really I have feelings too" a tiny blush crept up onto his face. "Besides, I
wanted to see if you really did like me and that's why I made the girlfriend up
to make you jealous and see if it pissed you off and it did" he smirked
watching Remus pout grumpily.
"I wish you'd told me you liked me or you were gay" Remus mumbled.
"So do I but would you risk it and tell someone how you really felt when you
weren't sure they liked you?" Sirius tried.
Remus hesitated, that was a very true statement. "I guess not... but we had
that weird potion sex..."
"Whilst drunk" Sirius smiled. "And it was very good sex at that"
"You've had sex with other people?" Remus frowned worriedly.
"No, no I haven't at all the only thing you could count as sex would be that
potion thing with you that one night, apart from that I haven't done anything
sexual with anyone, I guess you could count me as a virgin if you liked" Sirius
smiled honestly. "You're definitely still a virgin"
Remus blushed gazing up into Sirius' face. "I'd count you as a virgin because I
don't know if that hole was real sex, it wasn't proper sex though I know that"
he said thoughtfully.
Sirius chuckled and leaned down to peck Remus on the lips. "I think we should
get up and ready before we end up ridiculously late"
Remus pouted sweetly again before he sighed. "Okay"
They got up, slipped out from behind their closed bed curtains and started
pulling on their clothes.
"Finally up then I see" James commented with a smirk.
"Before you say it, no we weren't doing dirty things in there" Sirius said
quickly.
"Alright mate, I wasn't going to" James laughed waving him off.
They took turns in the bathroom and ten minutes later they were finally ready
to go. Sirius smiled as they picked up their bags and headed down into the
common room as he gazed lovingly at Remus their hands interlocked down their
sides. Remus looked so adorable so warm and natural, he was one of those people
that just had something nice about him that give him a sort of sexual glow and
Sirius fucking loved it. That day he came out like a model, Remus was
ridiculously hot but Sirius did like to see Remus being himself better.
Remus glanced up into Sirius' face as they trailed along behind James and Peter
on the staircases. "Remember I'm not ready to tell anyone about the baby" he
said very quietly so nobody could overhear.
"Remus I respect that, I promise I won't tell anyone" Sirius smiled warmly.
"Good" Remus breathed.
"No matter how excited I am" Sirius chuckled softly.
Remus smiled warmly up into his face, he couldn't believe how sweet his
boyfriend really was. Butterflies fluttered in his tummy at the thought of
Sirius being his actual boyfriend and as they made their way into the great
hall people started to stare.
They took their seats at the Gryffindor table and tucked into their breakfast
earning some curious stares and even a few small jealous, anxious ones from the
girls. Remus knew how desirable Sirius was, he had EVERYTHING going for him his
outstandingly good looks, his bad boy image, his charm, his intelligence, his
wealth, his blood purity and his house he was everything they all wanted and
Remus had him all to himself. Although he did have to admit, some of the very
pretty, very developed girls worried him a little because he knew they were
very confident and may actually try it on with Sirius as some of them had done
before.
"So you two are actually a couple now then?" James began.
"Yeah no thanks to you" Sirius said bitterly.
"I genuinely thought you were straight and had no feelings for him I was being
a friend!" James argued. "You should have said you were gay and then the mix up
wouldn't have happened"
"I didn't tell you that I'm gay because you would react badly over it" said
Sirius.
"But I didn't, nobody did" said James. "I don't have a problem with you or
Remus being gay but I wish you could have trusted me and Peter enough to tell
us"
"Yeah you always keep things too private, Pads" Peter frowned.
"I'm entitled to" said Sirius.
They finished eating and headed off out of the great hall, Sirius slipped his
hand through Remus' flashing the boy a gentle smile as they headed down the
dungeon corridor towards potions. They stopped outside the classroom having to
wait for Professor Slughorn as usual. Much to Remus' surprise, Sirius pulled
him in for a little cuddle and Remus shyly wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck
blushing a little bit. They hadn't been together a day yet but this felt so
right and even as people appeared and started staring it felt good even if
Remus was very nervous.
"Well then, what do we have here?" Mulciber's voice caught there attention.
Remus groaned inwardly, he didn't want to deal with this shit.
Sirius tensed immediately on the defence. "What the hell do you want?" he
snapped glowering at the boy.
Mulciber placed his fists on his hips and laughed. "Didn't have you down for
the queer type, Black" he said coolly.
"Didn't have you down as the type to care about other people" said Sirius
gruffly.
A horrible sneer crossed Severus' face as Avery and Rosier started smirking
together.
"You're a disgrace to your pureblood name" Avery said nastily. "Dating that
sort of trash..."
Remus grabbed a hold of the front of Sirius' robes when he felt the boy about
to launch himself over there. "Don't rise to it, Sirius"
"Dishonourable, queer and violent…. Your parents much be so proud" Avery
taunted.
"Those people are not my parents" said Sirius coldly. "You shouldn't be so
happy about the way you are, nobody in this school likes you apart from the
other pathetic little weasels that feel the same way, nut cases the lot of you"
his eyes wandered sharply over the small group of boys. Not all of them were
there but it was still fun to tease them.
An expression of anger washed over their faces.
"You're nothing like your brother" said Rosier coldly. "At least he has his
ideas right"
"You're manipulating him and he can be a real idiot sometimes" Sirius shot
back. "It's a shame for him more than anything else"
"Hmph, insulting your own brother now, you really are low, Black" Mulciber
scoffed.
"He'd have to be pretty low to sleep with that filthy monstrosity" Avery said
nodding to Remus.
"I'm fucking warning you, leave Remus alone" Sirius snarled his silver eyes
narrowing dangerously to slits. "He's not done a thing wrong to you and if you
even think about hurting him I will destroy you, do you understand me?!" his
voice was laced with pure venom and a few people around them gasped.
There was no answer.
"I think they understood you plenty, Sirius" said James a nasty smirk playing
on his face. "Ignore them they're just a bunch of idiots and by the sounds of
things they're jealous"
"You wish!" Rosier snapped.
"You'd better watch your mouth or I will put a curse so nasty on you you'll
never be able to speak again" Avery said dangerously pulling his wand from his
pocket.
Instincts took over and Sirius grabbed Remus pushing him behind him completely
blocking him from view before they could actually do anything to him. "I'm not
afraid of you, Avery" he said coolly. "You're just immature and pathetic like
the rest of them..."
The Slytherin's were about to retort when Professor Slughorn finally arrived
and let them into the classroom. His eyes flickered over the boys for a moment
and the groups of students stopping to watch before he sighed. "In you go
everyone"
The four Marauders allowed the Slytherin's to pass first glaring viciously at
them before they followed them in. Professor Slughorn caught Remus' eye as the
boy passed and smiled gently before his eyes flickered to where their hands
were clasped together.
They made their way inside and took their seats with a sigh. Pulling out their
things they waited for the lesson to start, Sirius looked to Remus and smiled.
"Are you okay?"
Remus nodded quickly. "Absolutely fine" he smiled back. "You?"
"Pissed off but otherwise okay" Sirius chuckled. "I'm worried they might try to
hurt you though"
"They won't" said Remus shaking his head quickly. "They're mouthing off because
they know they can piss you right off"
"But you're pregnant, Moony" Sirius whispered. "I can't have them risk you like
that"
"Then let's just stay away from them and if they start ignore it then they have
no excuse to try and hurt me or the baby with" Remus smiled gently.
"Right as usual" Sirius sighed. He would do as Remus suggested and stay away
from them for his boyfriend and his child's sakes no matter how badly he wanted
to hex those damn, dirty Slytherin's.
The lesson progressed calmly and perfectly normal apart from the people who
kept turning to stare and when they got a chance they would whisper and nod
over to them. Sirius didn't even seem remotely bothered about it but it was
making Remus a little self-conscious. He wasn't exactly sure what they were
saying but he doubted it was all that good...
"Alright everyone that's the end of the lesson, if you'll just pack up your
things and leave for break" Slughorn said clapping his hands together. "Mr
Lupin and Mr Black if I could see you two for a moment please..." he said
glancing over to them.
There was a snicker of delight coming from the Slytherin's whom of course
automatically assumed they were in trouble for whatever Slughorn thought was
happening in the corridor.
"We'll meet you in the courtyard" James said patting Sirius on the shoulder as
he and Peter passed to leave.
"Okay"
By the time the last person filed out of the room, the two boys headed
nervously up to the front hand in hand.
"Are we in trouble, Professor?" Sirius asked warily.
Remus swallowed, he had a very good idea what this was about.
"No you aren't in any trouble at all" Slughorn chuckled lightly. "No in fact I
just wanted to see if you were both alright and if everything has resolved
itself?"
Sirius and Remus glanced to one another and smiled.
"Everything is fine, Professor" Remus almost grinned.
"And everything is okay with the..." Slughorn trailed off looking Remus
directly in the eye. Remus sensed this was because he wasn't sure if Remus had
actually told Sirius about the baby yet.
"Baby" Sirius jumped in surprising the much older man. "Remus told me yesterday
when we got together" he grinned his eyes sparkling excitedly.
"I see, Remus knows he can come and talk to me anytime or to any other member
of staff if he needs to and I will extend that offer to you, Sirius, because
this must be a terribly hard thing to come to terms with at fifteen..."
"I'm sixteen" Sirius grinned again. "I'm not worried or anything, I'm a little
nervous and surprised because it hasn't fully sank in yet but I'm happy to have
a baby with Remus" he turned his attention on the blonde. "I don't care if
people think we're too young because we can handle it"
"An admirable way of thinking" Slughorn nodded slowly. "I am not sure what you
plan to do with your families but if you need any assistance or would like to
arrange a meeting with them at the school then I can pass your message along to
Dumbledore and he will be more than happy to help you" he smiled.
"Thank you, Professor" they mumbled.
"Is there anything else I can help you with?" he asked looking from one to the
other and back again.
They shook their heads.
"Very well then I hope everything goes alright for you, you shall have to keep
my posted on what's happening with the little one" he smiled nodding to Remus'
tummy.
"We will, Professor" Sirius smiled.
They left the classroom feeling relieved and much better. They went out into
the courtyard to meet James and Peter who were looking to them anxiously.
"No need to panic, boys" Sirius chuckled. "We weren't in trouble"
"Okay... then why would Slughorn hold you back?" James blinked.
"Oh just something about the Slytherin's earlier he wanted to know what was
going on" Sirius shrugged him off and turned his attention back on Remus. "Are
you cold?"
"A little" Remus shuddered slightly.
"Do you want to wear my cloak as well?" Sirius offered.
"No thanks you wear it" Remus smiled warmly. "I've got my own on and my scarf
and my jumper underneath..."
"I don't care, you can't risk getting too cold or catching a cold" Sirius said
seriously.
James and Peter shot them both some weird and very suspicious looks.
Remus flushed and opened his mouth to argue but Sirius pulled off his cloak and
wrapped it around Remus trying to keep him warm, the cloak was a good bit too
long so Sirius bunched it up a bit to stop Remus from falling. "There, all
better?"
Remus nodded. "But you'll be-"
"I'm fine" Sirius said simply just standing there in his school jumper and
shirt with his scarf draped around his shoulders. "You are my priority"
"Sirius you're being very... protective..." James spoke slowly.
"So?"
"It's unlike you" James commented glancing warily to a very confused-looking
Peter.
"Remus is extremely important to me for more reasons than one" said Sirius
turning his attention back on Remus and fixing up the cloak for him. People
were starting to stare at them curiously again and Remus could hear a few of
them talking quietly amongst themselves.
"That's so cute I wish I had a boyfriend like that" a dark haired Ravenclaw
girl said.
"I know why does he have to be gay?" her blonde friend sighed.
"I hope you're talking about Sirius" the dark haired girl said again very
sternly.
"Duh! Lupin isn't bad but why would you have him when Sirius is around?" the
blonde laughed. "He's so hot" she said gazing longingly at the boy.
"So dark and handsome..." the blonde girl giggled.
Remus glanced over at them and they just stared back. Sirius leaned down and
pressed his lips to Remus' cheek.
"We need to get going to next lesson, babe" he spoke softly.
Remus smiled up into his face. "Sure"
They headed back into the castle ignoring the curious and sometimes very
envious stares/glares as they made their way up the staircases.
By lunch time the whole school was buzzing with the news and speculations of
Remus and Sirius' relationship. Everywhere they went people stared at them and
every time Sirius did something sweet for Remus the girls would near sigh with
envy.
"Make sure you eat plenty" Sirius said worriedly as Remus piled healthy food
onto his plate.
"I will"
"Merlin Sirius you're like his mother!" James tutted irritably.
"I'm not his mother I'm his boyfriend and I want to be sure he's okay" said
Sirius flatly.
Remus glanced between the two of them, he knew exactly why Sirius was being the
way he was and he did enjoy it but he didn't want Sirius to accidentally let
slip about Remus' pregnancy he wanted them both to tell people when the time
was right, preferably after the three month scan in a couple of weeks to be
sure everything really was okay with the baby.
"You've been on the edge of your seat about something all day, what is it?"
James pressed.
An excitable flash shot through Sirius' eyes. "Nothing"
"Why are you keeping things a secret from us?" it was Peter. "Don't we matter?"
"I'm not keeping anything a secret I'm just happy to be with Remus" it wasn't a
lie, Sirius really was happy about his new found relationship with Moony but he
was extremely excited over the prospect Remus was going to have a baby in a few
month's time, he really did love Remus and he just wanted to baby him a little
to make sure he was getting everything he needed to properly grow a baby and
have him or her safely. He was almost desperate to break the exciting news
about their baby to James and even the whole school but he knew he couldn't as
he had to respect Remus' wishes and it did make sense to make sure everything
was absolutely okay before they told people in case something went wrong.
Sirius shuddered, he didn't even want to think of the possibility that there
might be something wrong with their baby...
"Insanely happy then" James chuckled. "It's nice to see but just try and cool
off before I spray you both with a jet of cold water" he added with a quick
playful wink.
"Oh shush, go find some girl to be like this with" Sirius teased kicking James
under the table.
After lunch they had a free period so they went back to the common room to
relax for a little while. It was near empty and James and Peter had chosen to
go off to the library or something to get away from the lovey dovey shite for a
while.
"Everybody is so interested in us" Remus said as he rested his head against
Sirius' shoulder.
"They are indeed, I knew they would be curious but I didn't think it would ever
be this bad..."
"I've heard some of the girls talking, I think they're a bit jealous that I
have you" Remus smiled, there was just a hint of satisfaction in his voice that
made Sirius laugh.
"Ooh you sound pleased about that" he waggled his immaculate, dark eyebrows
playfully.
"I've never had anyone being jealous of me before" Remus flushed. "Sounds bad
but I quite like it although I don't really fancy competing with a bunch of
other people for your attention"
"You don't have to compete, you've got something none of the others have,
Moony" Sirius grinned.
"You?" Remus blushed.
"You're your own person, your personality is amazing and I'm surprised nobody
has fallen in love with you purely on that but you're gorgeous, sexy, smart,
kind and you've got my baby inside of you" he said dropping his voice very low
just in case there was anyone around who could potentially listen in on them.
Remus blushed and gazed up lovingly into Sirius' face. His life was just
turning out perfectly right now. "I really do love you, Sirius" he breathed.
"I love you too" Sirius smiled leaning down for a sweet kiss.
Remus smiled when they drew apart and moved properly into Sirius' lap for a
cuddle, he still felt shy about doing these things but Sirius really didn't
seem to mind, he actually seemed to quite enjoy it.
"I love it when you're all cuddly" Sirius sighed wrapping his arms around Remus
better. "You've been cuddly since yesterday"
Remus giggled softly and snuggled even further into his boyfriend's body. There
were two girls sitting at the tables doing homework and they looked up to watch
them curiously.
"Are you bi?" Remus asked curiously.
"No, gay" Sirius smiled. "Just for you though I'm not a predator or a cheater"
he added with a soft chuckle. "I know you're fully gay though"
Remus nodded. "But I've never been with another boy in any way"
"Mm hey Moony" Sirius smirked and pulled Remus a little closer. "You can put it
in any hole" he whispered.
Remus' face ignited so hotly he thought he might explode with the shame. Those
were the exact words that had been playing on his mind ever since that night.
That was exactly what he had said to Sirius...
Sirius laughed a little pressing a kiss to the top of Remus' head as the boy
shoved his face into his neck trying to hide the obscene shame he felt.
"Aww I knew I'd get a cute reaction from that" he grinned.
"I am so embarrassed..." Remus whined.
"Don't be that was the hottest thing I've ever heard" Sirius grinned pushing
Remus up to gaze into his very red face. "Besides you were extremely drunk,
Moons"
The beginnings of a smile curled in the corners of Remus' mouth. "I really
was..."
"But I'm hoping that one day when you're ready you'll say that to me again only
without the alcohol" Sirius winked playfully watching Remus' faded but still
rosy blush spreading down his neck and onto his chest.
"I will but you're making me go all blotchy" Remus said self-consciously
patting his skin.
"Beautiful" Sirius smiled simply before he pulled Remus in for a kiss.
The rest of the afternoon passed quite nicely and by the end of the day Remus
was starting to get used to the stares and speculations.
"I'll bet he's doing some serious favours to get Sirius Black's attention!" one
of the sixth year Gryffindor's commented as they walked past. Sirius didn't
seem to hear as he was busy laughing at something James had just said.
"Bet he's sleeping with him loads to keep his attention" one of her friends
said.
"Or paying him..." the other girl replied.
"Why Lupin and not us? We're not ugly and surely Sirius can't be all gay just
look at him, he doesn't look gay..." the first one said wrinkling her nose with
disgust.
"We should have known to be honest, all the hot ones are gay..."
Down in the great hall two boys walked past. "I wonder how hung he is" the
shorter one said. "Must be pretty big to compensate for everything else"
When they finally finished washing up, changing and slipped into bed that
night, Remus sat sipping at his potion as Sirius lounged on his front beside
him.
"What are you thinking about?" Sirius asked finally.
"About how everyone has been acting so weird with us today" Remus smiled gently
to him.
"They'll get used to it" Sirius shrugged a little then frowned. "Is it
bothering you the way they stare and such?"
"No but it does hurt a little when they say I must be paying you to be with me
or sleeping with you constantly or that I must be enormously hung and other
stuff to keep your attention" Remus said downing his drink and snuggling down
under the covers on his side beside Sirius.
"Don't listen to them" Sirius said shaking his head. "They're jealous of you
and that's a fact"
"I know they are" Remus smiled a little. "I just hate people assuming that
because it's me and you that I must be doing something for you to make you be
with me..."
"Well you are" said Sirius.
Remus looked very confused.
"You're loving me" the taller boy flashed one of those immaculate prize winning
smiles making Remus' heart melt in his chest.
"I love you" Remus whispered snuggling in closer.
"I love you too, how is the baby feeling?" Sirius asked caressing Remus' cheek
softly.
"Fine" the boy smiled. "I can only assume that everything is okay in there" he
mused resting a hand on his bump under the bed covers.
"I hope so, I'm sure it will be" Sirius smiled his fingers following Remus' to
gently stroke over his sensitive skin. "You're gaining a little bit of weight
round there now, just a little bit" he commented happily.
Remus just smiled. "That must be a good thing"
"It most certainly is" Sirius breathed.
They settled down after that and called their goodnights to James and Peter
through the bed curtains before they curled up into one another and fell into a
comfortable sleep.
Two days went by and still people had not cooled the staring, it was as though
they were trying to figure out everything even every motive behind the
relationship but they were all afraid to ask.
Remus was still on a high, his potion was working, Sirius was taking extremely
good care of him, supporting him on the stairs, making sure he had enough to
eat and drink, guarding him from all forms of danger.
James and Peter on the other hand had noticed just how strange and yet oddly
excitable Sirius was acting like he was constantly on the edge of his seat and
bursting to scream something out but something was holding him back.
"It's probably Remus" James said and Peter nodded his agreement.
"What do you think is up with him?" Peter asked curiously.
"Bet they've had sex" James said quickly. "And Remus told him not to blab it
around or something, that would be very typically Moony"
"Probably, but so soon?" Peter frowned.
"You've seen the way they are together" James laughed. "It wouldn't surprise me
if they'd done it"
The dormitory door opened and they fell silent watching as Remus and Sirius
came strolling in after a little evening walk.
"What?" Sirius frowned noticing the odd way his friends were staring at them
when they crossed back over to Remus' bed.
"Remus have you let Sirius smash your back door in?" James blurted out before
he could stop himself.
Both Sirius and Remus turned to stare at James in confusion and absolute shock.
"No!" Remus said quickly.
"What the hell, Prongs?!" Sirius pretty much gasped. "Where did that come
from?"
James and Peter exchanged worried looks. Maybe they had gotten it wrong after
all.
"Well we were just sort of putting pieces together after seeing what Sirius has
been doing and what's been happening with you two for the past few days..."
James said slowly. "We thought you might have done it or something"
"No we haven't" Sirius blushed a little. Unless you counted the potion sex but
they were both still virginal, especially Remus.
James eyed them suspiciously as they started getting ready for bed. Whatever it
was that was going on with them he was sure he would find out soon...
After they finished washing and changing for bed, Remus drank his potion and
slipped in under the bed covers behind the closed curtains with Sirius.
"Anything in particular you want to do this weekend?" Sirius asked curiously.
Remus shrugged a little. "Nothing much, you can choose"
"Mm we'll see" Sirius yawned watching Remus' eyes drooping heavily as he fought
to stay awake. If Sirius felt tired what the hell did Remus feel like having to
deal with all these hormones, pregnancy problems, school, general life and
walking around the castle all day. Sirius was sure he had to do something about
Remus and make sure he rested enough.
The next morning they were up, dressed and heading down to the great hall as
usual. Taking their seats at the Gryffindor table, Remus got some fruit toast
and tea and sat eating quite happily ignoring the fact a group of girls were
giggling at Sirius. He'd gotten fairly used to this behaviour ever since first
year which had grown steadily worse as the hormones increased in everyone from
the excitable girls (and a few gay/bi boys) to the downright jealous boys but
now it only seemed more unnerving because Remus was dating him and he didn't
fucking want ANYONE to touch Sirius. He knew he could trust the boy but he
didn't trust other people so he knew it was time to take a stand and show the
world he was not to be messed with no matter what he looked like.
Something caught his attention as a small figure came walking shakily into the
great hall. Remus looked up and his lips parted when his blue eyes fell on none
other than Regulus Black. But the Slytherin did not look normal, he looked
pale, drawn and his hood was up but the light shone through as he passed
through a ray where the sun was glinting coldly through the windows up by the
staff table casting light on the bruises and small cuts on Regulus' face.
"Sirius" Remus said quickly.
The boy shot to attention looking almost panic stricken, his hands were up
ready for action (obviously in case there was something wrong with the baby)
Remus turned to stare at him before he nodded towards Regulus.
"Your brother" he said simply.
Sirius just looked confused. "Yeah that's Regulus..." he said slowly.
"No I mean, LOOK at him, Sirius" Remus said his eyebrows creasing into a
concerned frown.
Sirius frowned still very confusedly as he turned his attention on his brother.
Regulus sat down alone and very shakily at the Slytherin table he glanced
around the light shining through his hood as he pushed it back enough to eat
properly. That's when Sirius saw what Remus was talking about. Someone had
obviously attacked his little brother.
"Oh..."
"I know you two don't get on but he's your little brother and by the looks of
things he needs you" Remus said worriedly.
Sirius really had to admire Remus, the boy was ridiculously compassionate. With
a smile, Sirius leaned in, pecked Remus on the cheek and got to his feet.
Remus smiled warmly as he watched his boyfriend get up and stride carelessly
over to the Slytherin table, even when the students stopped to glare at him for
invading their territory. Remus swallowed nervously, he didn't want to see
Sirius get hurt but usually people wouldn't attempt to lay a finger on him if
they didn't want some serious backlash in return. A few of them looked as
though they wanted to say something though.
"Hi Regulus" Sirius spoke softly as he approached his little brother. Just as
the boy looked up at Sirius the older boy reached out a hand to touch him and
Regulus cowered down his hand fumbling in his pocket for his wand.
"S-stay away from me" he almost whimpered.
Now Sirius knew something was seriously wrong, Regulus was actually cowering
away from him and he hadn't done anything besides say hello to his brother. The
fear in Regulus' eyes shocked Sirius more than he'd like to admit and he stared
down into them as Regulus held his wand, not pointed at Sirius, just casually
in his hand as a slight warning for him to stay back and well away from him.
Sirius held up his hands slowly. "I'm not going to hurt you, bro"
Regulus swallowed but continued to look frightened as Sirius slowly lowered
himself in the least threatening way possible into the seat beside him.
An older Slytherin jumped sharply to his feet glaring at Sirius but the
Gryffindor just ignored him. Even though he didn't get on with Regulus seeing
him in this state made his instincts to kick in, the boy was still his brother
after all even if he was a complete and utter dunderhead. He could see Snape
and the rest of the wanna be Death Eater gang sitting a mediocre distance away
watching him closely with suspicious eyes.
"Regulus what's wrong?"
Regulus swallowed but didn't say anything he just kept watching Sirius whilst
shaking all over.
Sirius looked directly into Regulus' terrified eyes, his own eyes, it was
almost like Regulus was pleading with him for help but didn't want to say
anything.
I know we don't always get along but you can talk to me you know, I won't tell
anybody if you don't want me to..." Sirius tried lowering his voice so it was
low and gentle.
Regulus stared at him looking pale and frightened, like a small helpless bunny
rabbit at the jaws of a vicious blood thirsty predator.
"Oi, you! Clear off!" Mulciber shouted down the table towards Sirius.
Regulus tensed up a tiny sound creeping out of his throat
Sirius looked from Regulus to the angry, placid boys sitting a distance away
and his own eyes narrowed dangerous. Sirius was one of the smartest students
here and he knew something was wrong between them and Regulus, he could just
sense it. "What did you do to him?" he asked coldly.
Mulciber glared back and the other's stared harshly a few of them started to
laugh making Regulus wince again and shake even more. "None of your business
keep out of stuff that doesn't concern you"
"I think this does concern me seeing as he's my brother" Sirius retorted. "He's
blood to me and he's fuck all to you"
Regulus looked nauseated and dizzy, he closed his eyes still trembling. Sirius
hadn't noticed this gesture as he continued his war with the rest of Regulus'
so called friends.
"Clear off before I do you some serious damage" Avery snarled nastily. "You
have no right to be over here, go back to your own table!"
"What's wrong with him then?!" Sirius demanded angrily.
"He's fine..." Evan tutted waving a lazy hand at the boy and glancing
aggressively towards Regulus.
"He's not fine at all look at the state of him!"
"Shove off and mind your own business, cunt" Mulciber said coldly.
Sirius glared, he was just about to say something when Regulus slipped and fell
from the bench collapsing onto the floor on his side. Sirius' eyes widened and
he jumped to his feet, he reached out and pushed Regulus' hood back enough to
see his face. Regulus' eyes were closed and his lips parted, he was
unconscious. "Regulus?" he asked giving the boy a little shake trying to bring
him round hoping he was faking it or something but the boy didn't respond.
By now people were starting to stare and Sirius registered his three friends
appearing beside him, he glanced warily to Remus and then back to Regulus.
"What did you do to him?!" Sirius snarled turning back to the other
Slytherin's.
"We haven't touched him" Snape said curtly a nasty smirk playing on his face.
"It's obvious you've done something, Snape, so don't you DARE play games with
me!" Sirius growled dangerously. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?!"
"Sirius I think we should take him to the hospital wing" James said quickly.
Sirius tore his eyes away from the laughing boys long enough to stare down at
his brother. "Yeah you're right" he said. He reached under the boy and
carefully lifted his brother under the back of his legs and around his back.
Regulus was much smaller and lighter than Sirius was, surprisingly so. James
covered Remus' back as the boy hurried alongside Sirius as the five of them
left the great hall to the jeering Slytherin's.
Sirius ground his teeth in frustration, this was just not fair on Regulus.
They arrived at the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey looked nearly panic stricken
when she saw Remus then relaxed somewhat when she realised it wasn't Remus they
were here for.
"What in the name of Merlin has happened?" she asked as Sirius carefully lay
his brother down on a bed.
"Not sure to be honest, he looked pretty beaten up and when I was talking to
him he was shaking and then just collapsed" Sirius said quickly watching the
nurse feel the Slytherin's pulse.
"Hmm, he's just fainted" she concluded. "I don't see any signs of a head injury
but we won't know until he wakes up, it shouldn't be too long now..." she said
eyeing the boy closely pulling the curtain around them.
She glanced up at the clock on the wall. "I suspect you should be off to
lessons, Sirius you may stay and Remus may too but the other two you must go"
she said simply.
James and Peter shot worried looks to Sirius.
"You gonna be okay?" it was James.
Sirius nodded. "Yeah better see if he's okay, Remus has to stay with me to keep
him away from those dicks if they've been doing something to Regulus I don't
want him hurt either"
James nodded slowly with understanding. "Sure mate, see you later"
James and Peter left the hospital wing.
Sirius sighed and pulled up an armchair gesturing for Remus to sit but the boy
shook his head and Sirius slowly sank down. Remus moved over and climbed into
his lap staring at Regulus with concern.
"You think he'll be okay?" Remus asked quietly.
"Probably, oh look!" Sirius said nodding to his brother.
Regulus wriggled a little and groaned his eyebrows furrowing together with
confusion. Slowly his eyes opened and he blinked them back into focus staring
at his older brother.
"You alright, Reg?" Sirius asked quickly as Madame Pomfrey came back over.
"Fine" the boy mumbled.
"Any nausea, light sensitivity, dizziness, confusion, memory loss or pain in
your head?" Madame Pomfrey asked him.
"No, why would there be?" the younger boy swallowed.
"You fainted" the nurse said simply. "Did you hit your head at all prior to
breakfast time?" she asked again but Regulus shook his head. "Very well now can
you tell me what happened to you because it's rather obvious from your
appearance that something has" she tried but Regulus groaned and buried his
face in the pillows.
Pomfrey sighed and turned to look worriedly at Sirius. "Perhaps you could try
if I leave you alone for a little while" she said quietly and Sirius nodded.
"Yeah"
They watched her disappear before Remus climbed off of Sirius and hopped up on
the end of the bed. Sirius moved over and taking a hold of Regulus seized him
up into a sitting position to take a better look at him.
Regulus groaned and tried to pull free but Sirius held firm. He didn't seem
overjoyed when Sirius glanced to Remus and the Werewolf nodded before he gently
pulled the boy into his arms resting his chin on the top of his brother's head.
It was a little awkward and strange considering they weren't used to this sort
of thing but Sirius was sure it would offer the boy some comfort.
"Regulus what happened?" Remus asked softly.
Regulus tensed. "You don't need to know"
"Don't be rude to Remus, why won't you tell us what's happened?" Sirius asked
firmly.
"Because you don't need to know" Regulus retorted. "You've never cared about me
or my feelings before so why should you care now?"
Sirius closed his eyes in a long slow blink, Regulus did have a point there but
Sirius' Gryffindor spirit was burning up and he was determined to sort this
out. "Because you're still my little brother and I want to help you" he almost
sighed. "We promise we won't tell anyone, not even Madame Pomfrey if you don't
want us to..." he tried.
Regulus hesitated a moment. "How do I know I can trust you?"
"How do you know you can't?" Remus retorted earning a smile from Sirius.
Regulus hesitated again and sighed keeping his face buried in his brother's
chest. "They hurt me..." he said quietly in a small childlike voice.
"The Slytherin's that were having a go when I came over to you?"
"Yes" said Regulus.
Sirius sighed. "Did they beat you up?"
"No"
"Did they push you down the stairs or anything?" Remus tried.
"No"
"Did they hex you?" Sirius tried.
Regulus tensed and nodded slowly. "Well no, actually they cursed me"
Sirius and Remus exchanged frightened looks.
"Cursed?" it was Sirius.
Regulus nodded slowly.
"Regulus tell me about it" Sirius said seriously. "What did they do to you and
why?"
Regulus remained quietly for a few moments before he finally began to speak.
"They've been testing out curses on me and practising using them on me, they
did it last night and it really hurt"
Sirius pursed his lips, there were so many things he wanted to say but he knew
it probably wasn't the right time of place to do it as it would only upset his
little brother all the more. "What kind of curses?"
Regulus said nothing.
"Regulus, what kind of curses?" Sirius tried again his voice growing more
serious by the minute.
"A few of Snape's but I don't know their names, stinging hexes to increase
their power, a few disillusionment charms and they tried the Cruciatus curse"
Regulus said quietly.
Remus' mouth fell open in horror and Sirius clutched Regulus very tightly to
his chest staring over at Remus.
"That's illegal" said Sirius.
"Regulus you have to report that they'll get expelled!" Remus gasped worriedly.
"NO, I can't and won't report it, besides they used someone else's wand for the
torture curse so it couldn't be traced back to them..." Regulus said almost
angrily. "You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone!" he said sharply looking up
into his brother's face with tears in his angry, hurt eyes.
Sirius bit his bottom lip. "I won't" he said awkwardly. It went against
everything he believed in but he had to gain Regulus' trust it wouldn't help
for the boy to be in this state now. "You aren't safe in Slytherin anymore"
"Yes I am, they're my friends it's just I'm the easiest one to practice on
because I'm smallest and stuff..." Regulus said slowly.
"Don't you dare defend those animals!" Sirius said sharply. "Look at what
they've done to you, Regulus, they don't deserve to even be in this school!"
"Just leave it, Sirius!" Regulus whined. "I'm fine!"
"You could have been seriously hurt or worse" Sirius continued to argue. "You
don't look okay, you're a state" he looked nervously to Remus a strange
pleading in his eyes.
"Why don't you come and stay with us, Regulus" Remus offered kindly.
"With you?!"
"Yes with us" said Sirius. "In the Gryffindor tower, they're going to really
hurt you, Regulus and if you won't report it and you refuse to stay with us
then I will report it for you" Sirius said simply as he smirked to Remus. Now
Regulus was trapped.
Regulus opened and closed his mouth a few times before he settled down a little
bit. "Where will I even sleep?"
"You can have my bed" said Sirius simply.
"Then where will you sleep?" Regulus sighed impatiently.
"I sleep in Remus' bed with Remus" Sirius smiled gently. "You can stay in mine"
"I don't want to listen to you two having sex though..."
"You won't have to because we haven't had sex yet we've only been together
since Sunday" Sirius chuckled as Remus shuffled closer to them wary of Regulus
as he knew the boy wasn't as compassionate as he himself was or even Sirius for
that matter. Remus didn't particularly like Regulus all that much due to
treatment in the past but he was civil with him and he wanted to help him.
"Fine" the younger boy said calmly. "But I don't like being touched or pestered
when I'm asleep and I don't like being woken up unless it's absolutely
necessary" he pouted slightly.
Sirius barked a laugh. "You sound like Remus" he grinned. "I know what you like
I've known you all your life" he rolled his eyes cheekily. Regulus glared.
Madame Pomfrey came back through the curtain and surveyed them for a moment
before speaking. "I want you to stay a little while longer, I'm going to need
someone to help me clean up these cuts and bruises and to just check you really
are okay before I send you back off today" the nurse said calmly.
Sirius nodded and finally released a ruffled, angry Regulus. He was a typical
sleepy, horny and grumpy teenage boy and Sirius knew that all too well after
having to live with him every summer.
The two boys got up from the bed, Sirius practically had to force Remus into a
seat before he and Madame Pomfrey lay Regulus back and got to work on his
wounds. With some amount of fighting and swearing they got Regulus' top off to
deal with some of the deeper cuts on his stomach.
"They'll heal fine and shouldn't leave a scar, the potion will help to prevent
that" Pomfrey said eyeing them suspiciously. "They look like slash wounds
though..."
Regulus shot Sirius a warning look. Don't you dare tell her anything! Sirius
could read his brother like an open fucking book.
Sirius just smiled to Regulus and they continued before finally Remus and
Sirius snuggled back into the chair together and watched Regulus pull his shirt
back on, turn on his side facing away from them and sigh heavily.
"He's just being grumpy" Sirius whispered in Remus' ear. "He's always like
that"
"I can hear you" Regulus said gruffly.
"He also has excellent hearing" Sirius chuckled making Remus laugh.
It was approaching lunch time when the nurse finally let them all leave sending
Regulus off with a sick note. Sirius and Remus had agreed to stay with him
today to look after him and Sirius sent Remus and Regulus off to the Gryffindor
table whilst he went to collect a large platter of food for them all to share
for lunch.
"Fizzing Whizzbee" Remus said to the portrait of the fat lady. She eyed Regulus
strangely before swinging open for the pair of them and Remus had to
practically pull Regulus inside.
Regulus tensed, the common room was empty but he'd never been in Gryffindor
before. He gazed around the warm, cosy common room. The warm, crackling fire,
the rough old rug, the worn red sofa and armchairs, the writing tables for
homework, the things left lying around strewn haphazardly about the notice
board with various things and moving pictures including newspaper clippings and
sign-up sheets tacked lazily to it and all the portraits hung high above them.
"It's better than I expected it to be, nothing like Slytherin though..."
Regulus said slowly.
Remus chuckled. "Come on, this way to the dormitory" he said without touching
the boy. He led Regulus up the stairs and along to their dormitory. He pushed
open the door with a yawn and Regulus closed it behind them stopping nervously
to gaze around the room.
"Well, you have sunlight"
Remus turned to face him and blinked, confused. "Yes..."
"Slytherin doesn't" Regulus said simply. "We're under the Black Lake so it's
pretty dark, but we can see the giant squid and stuff"
Remus looked rather impressed. "Interesting" he said thoughtfully. "This is
Sirius' bed" he said walking over to the freshly changed, untouched bed. "You
can sleep here, see it's nice and clean and tidy..."
"I can see that I'm not stupid"
Remus frowned a little but chose to ignore the comment, he understood Regulus
was probably feeling ruffled and quite embarrassed about what happened. He was
in a new dormitory, in Gryffindor (enemy territory) his friends would be pissed
with him and probably seriously fall out with him, Remus was a half-blood whom
he didn't know very well and he would be sleeping in his brother's bed. He
watched as Regulus made his way over to the bed and sat on it staring down at
his lap.
There was a silence.
"Thank you for letting me stay here" Regulus managed.
Remus thought it was probably because he was having to be nice to a half-blood
and that wasn't usually done in Slytherin although they did regard them with a
much higher status than everything else par pure of course which was on the
highest of the Aristocratic and noble podium.
"No problem" Remus smiled kindly and moved the short distance to sit on his own
bed, he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his cloak and tie watching Regulus
through the corner of his eye. The boy didn't budge.
"So you're dating my brother, huh?"
Remus nodded slowly looking into Regulus' little face. He really was rather
small for being Sirius' family, there was something slightly feminine and
delicate about him. "Yeah, since Sunday"
"I gathered that from what Sirius told me" Regulus said bluntly rolling his
eyes. "Everybody has been talking about your relationship, how did you get
together, don't worry I'm not going to go blabbing it around"
Remus sighed at Regulus' attitude. "We got together on Sunday, I had a row with
James, we liked each other for quite a while and Sirius pretended to have a
girlfriend to make me jealous, everything sort of exploded on Sunday and we got
together" he explained briefly.
Regulus nodded slowly with understanding. "I thought maybe my brother was gay
over the summer..."
"Why?" Remus asked curiously.
"He's got a bit of a thing in his room, I saw him in there looking at pictures
cutting them up, he has quite a lot of you in there he was cutting the other
two out of and putting you in a frame and sticking you in a scrap book, when we
left I saw him put it in his trunk so he must have it with him somewhere" the
boy explained nodding towards the trunk.
"Really?" Remus frowned glancing towards it.
"I'm no liar" Regulus shrugged a little. "See for yourself if you don't believe
me"
"I'm not going through his things I have more respect for him than that" Remus
said firmly and it was true he wouldn't do that to Sirius.
Regulus sighed, rolled his eyes and got up from the bed. Remus watched him kick
open the trunk and start rummaging around in there.
"Hey I don't think you should be doing that" he said quickly.
"He's my brother he won't have anything in here that I haven't seen before"
Regulus said lazily. "Aha!" he said yanking a thick leather bound, padded book
from the trunk and holding it up. He shut the trunk and went over to Remus
handing it to the boy before he went to sit back on what was now his own bed.
Remus stared at it curiously turning it over in his hands. No, he couldn't do
this. He placed it down on the bed in front of him and sat back against the
headboard.
"Really?" Regulus quirked an eyebrow sarcastically. "You're not going to even
open it?"
Remus shook his head. "Not unless Sirius say's it's okay"
Regulus rolled his eyes again. "He has that much control over you, huh?"
"He doesn't have any control over me!" Remus shot back. "I just don't think
it's right to go through his things especially seeing as he hasn't opened up to
me about it yet" he said firmly. "It's not right to invade someone's privacy"
"Aren't you even a little bit curious about it?" Regulus smirked. Remus could
see the Slytherin in him begging to come out.
"Yes but I'm not going to"
Regulus made for the book but Remus snatched it up again. "No, Regulus"
"No Regulus" the Slytherin said in a mocking tone. "What do you think I am, a
dog?"
Remus opened his mouth to argue but the dormitory door opened and Sirius
appeared grinning holding an enormous platter piled high with foods.
"Wash up boys and dig in" he grinned moving over and resting it on the end of
Remus' bed. Remus took out his wand and spelled both his and Sirius' hands
clean, Regulus took a hint and did the same with his own.
"What's going on?" Sirius frowned noticing the angry tension between the two.
"Not going to show your boyfriend that little shrine you made of him?" Regulus
sneered.
Sirius looked confused. "Huh?"
Regulus nodded to the book by Remus' side, now Remus was the one to look very
worried.
"I swear I didn't take it Sirius, I haven't even opened it" Remus said
worriedly.
"It's true, he's a pussy" Regulus laughed.
Sirius' face softened and much to both of their surprises he threw his head
back and barked a laugh. "Let me see that, you can eat both of you" he grinned
gesturing to the food with one hand and lifting the book with the other.
Remus sat nibbling at the food as Regulus moved over eyeing it warily and
smelling it before biting into some fried chicken.
"Oh yeah I made this in the summer I completely forgot about it" Sirius grinned
sinking down on the bed beside Remus. "Look, Remus" he grinned showing the
inside cover to the boy.
It was a picture of them from third year with their arms around each other's
shoulders, heads close laughing and swaying a little in a friendly manner. They
looked really happy and actually quite sweet together.
A smile spread across Remus' face as Sirius turned some of the pages with
pictures, old notes and such taped in.
"I didn't see too much of you over the summer and I was missing you and I
fancied you as well" Sirius chuckled. "So I made a little book about us"
Remus' smile spread into a grin. "That's really sweet, Sirius"
Regulus made a soft gagging noise and Sirius shot him a glare.
Sirius rested the book on the bedside table and tucked into the food. By the
time they finished eating, Regulus sat back down on Sirius' bed, Sirius cleared
away the tray, stripped down into his underwear and pulled on some jogging
bottoms and a t-shirt.
"I took so long earlier because I was speaking to Professor McGonagall" said
Sirius as he lounged on the bed.
Remus blushed, got up, pulled one side of the bed curtains closed and stripped
quickly changing into an outfit similar to Sirius'. "Yeah?"
"I told her some shit and made up a story and said Regulus is in our dorm, she
said it's fine she's gonna run it by Slughorn and get his name signed up here"
Sirius replied.
"You're actually serious about me staying with you for a while then?" Regulus
frowned as he lay down on his side staring over at his brother.
"Yes"
Remus emerged and moved over to snuggle down beside Sirius. Sirius rolled Remus
over to face Regulus and lounged behind him so he could see his brother as he
propped himself up on his elbow and ran his fingers through Remus' silky blonde
hair.
"My friends are going to kill me..." Regulus muttered.
"No they aren't" said Sirius. "You're safe here now they can't come and get
you"
"What about my stuff?" Regulus asked worriedly.
"Slughorn is going to send an elf to pick it all up, they won't mind and it
will be brought up later on, don't worry they won't tell your friends anything
so they won't damage anything" Sirius went on. "I'm not stupid you know" his
eyes narrowed a little.
Remus laughed.
"I know you aren't, just a bit reckless sometimes" Regulus replied.
They lay there for some time in moderate discomfort.
"How do I know I can really trust you both?" Regulus asked finally.
"Because we promised we wouldn't say anything" said Remus. "And we won't"
"Promises often don't mean anything" Regulus said simply.
Sirius and Remus glanced to one another.
"Then what can we do to prove our sincerity?" Remus asked slowly.
Regulus looked thoughtful for the briefest second. "Make yourselves vulnerable
to me the same way as I did to you" he said calmly.
Remus swallowed and Sirius tensed.
"How?" it was Sirius.
"Tell me something, do something to prove it, I don't know" Regulus shrugged a
little his silver eyes glittering with curiosity.
"One second" Sirius said glancing down to Remus. The boy rolled over to face
Sirius biting his bottom lip nervously. "Should we tell him?" Sirius whispered.
Remus hesitated. "I think the question is can we trust him?"
Sirius looked thoughtful and glanced over to Regulus. "I think so, he's in no
position to betray us and besides I don't think Slytherin's usually betray one
another"
"But we aren't in Slytherin" said Remus.
"We are doing him a massive favour and he knows what I'll do to him if he
causes me shit and that includes doing anything to you, Moons" Sirius said
seriously.
Remus hesitated again. "Well... okay..." he sighed and turned back over. They
sat up staring nervously at Regulus.
Regulus became uncomfortable and sat up too looking worried they might do
something to him.
"Regulus can you come and sit over here, please?" Remus asked in a calm, quiet
voice.
Now it was Regulus' turn to hesitate but curiosity got the better of him and he
walked over sitting down before the two boys.
For a minute or so nobody said anything.
"What we're about to tell you we expect you to keep to yourself, you are not to
tell ANYBODY about this at all or drop hints or anything, do you understand
me?" Sirius said very seriously with a slight note of an underlying threat in
his voice.
Regulus nodded slowly his eyes shifting from one to the other looking as though
they may hurt him.
"Okay" Sirius sighed looking to Remus. In truth, Sirius was quite excited to
tell his brother about this he was just worried what his reaction would be.
"I know you don't think much of me or see me as your equal but I'm hoping what
we're about to tell you will help change your mind a little and maybe we can
become friends even..." Remus said slowly as he glanced to Sirius.
"What's going on?" Regulus asked in a small, nervous voice once again.
Sirius paused a moment before a tiny smile crept up onto his face. "Remus is
pregnant"
The words hung in the air was Regulus looked completely confused. "What?"
"Remus is pregnant" Sirius repeated his smile widening. Just saying it made it
all the more thrilling.
Regulus laughed weakly. "Please don't insult my intelligence, he is a boy!"
Remus sighed. "I am a boy but... a while ago I took a potion one night after
we'd all been drinking, it created a hole behind my balls, Sirius and I slept
together using it and a rare side effect can cause Sirius' sperm to impregnate
me and now I'm nine weeks pregnant with his child, your niece or nephew" he
explained.
Regulus froze watching as Sirius pulled out the tiny scan photo and showed it
to him. "Oh Merlin..."
"Regulus, you have to keep this to yourself..." Sirius said slowly.
"I will" Regulus breathed his eyes flickering from the moving scan image to
Regulus' tummy. "You don't have a bump though"
"I'm only nine weeks gone, I've gained a little weight but it will be a couple
more short weeks before I start to get a proper bump" he smiled anxiously.
Regulus continued to stare at his tummy before his eyes wandered back up to
Remus' face. "You're pregnant..." he breathed.
Sirius was positively beaming with excitement and when Remus looked up into his
face he couldn't help but smile too. "My Remus is knocked up!"
Regulus almost laughed and sat there fiddling with his hand for a few moments.
"Wow, umm, okay I wasn't expecting this..."
"Neither were we" Remus chuckled.
"It was all my fault it happened anyway" Sirius smirked. "But I think Remus
forgives me" he smiled to the blonde boy in such a charming way he had Remus
blushing instantly.
"Of course I do" the boy laughed playfully batting his boyfriend's chest.
Regulus smiled a little. "You two are actually quite good together to be
honest..."
"Thanks" Remus and Sirius grinned together.
"Congratulations on the baby by the way, I'm happy for you even if mum and dad
won't be" Regulus smiled warmly for the first time.
A few hours passed and at the end of the day when Sirius and Remus lay dozing
on the bed and Regulus lay gazing up at the canopy above his own, the door
opened and James and Peter emerged.
"What the bloody hell?!" James gasped shutting the door quickly as his eyes
fell on Regulus.
The boy sat up anxiously.
"Don't panic, James, he's coming to stay with us" said Sirius simply.
James' mouth opened and closed as he eyed Regulus suspiciously. "Okay but why?"
"He isn't safe in Slytherin after what happened this morning, we can't tell you
what happened because we promised him not to but it was some seriously bad
shit" said Sirius again.
James stared but nodded slowly with understanding before he made his way to his
own bed the one closest to the door. Peter didn't say anything he just went and
sat on his bed glancing almost nervously to Regulus.
After a few moments the boy seemed to relax and lay back down without a word.
Remus and Sirius shot him a sympathetic look. It was probably really difficult
for Regulus to go through all of this...
"So are there any rules in here?" Regulus asked quietly.
Everybody looked to him.
"Umm not really" James shrugged. "Just keep your stuff reasonably tidy"
"I'm always tidy" said Regulus rather simply.
"He is you should see his room" Sirius nodded in his brother's defence.
The other three just laughed.
"Oh don't use other people's toothbrushes and personal stuff because that's
kinda grim" said Peter.
"I wouldn't even imagine doing something like that" Regulus wrinkled his nose
with disgust.
"Oh and if you're feeling frisky and you feel like rubbing one out then try not
to get spunk on stuff, clean up afterwards if you get it on anything and spell
your hands clean before you touch anything like door handles because nobody
else wants cum or any other type of fluid on their hands" Sirius said.
Regulus blushed and shot his brother a furious look. "Thanks"
A few hours went by and after James and Peter brought the boys up some dinner
it was approaching bed time.
There was a soft knock at the door and it opened revealing a small female house
elf.
"I have the belongings of Regulus Black?" she said glancing between them.
Regulus raised his hand and watched the elf laden with things shuffle over to
the bed and rest the things on top of Sirius' trunk. She snapped her fingers
and Regulus' trunk zoomed in the door and slid into place beside Sirius'. The
elf bowed low before she squeaked and bolted from the room shutting the door
behind her.
Regulus got up and rummaged around, taking out his bed things he went into the
bathroom the get ready.
James went over to see Remus and Sirius. "You sure he's gonna be okay here?"
Sirius glanced to the door and smiled. "Yeah, he's gonna be fine"
Once he was out and ready, Regulus snuggled down in bed pulling the bed
curtains closed for his own privacy. It was his first night in the new
dormitory and he felt nervous yet somehow strangely excited. He closed his eyes
his mind wandering back to Remus' pregnancy...
Remus and Sirius settled down, Remus curling up in Sirius' chest. What a bloody
day they had.
"I love you so much, Sirius" Remus breathed brushing their lips together
tenderly.
"I love you too, my beautiful Moony" Sirius breathed.
And with that they settled down for a night's sleep dreaming of all the good
and yet dramatic times to come...
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