Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/637802. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage Category: F/M, M/M Fandom: Supernatural Relationship: Castiel/Dean_Winchester, Jessica_Moore/Sam_Winchester Character: Castiel, Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, Bobby_Singer, Jessica_Moore, Pamela_Barnes, Chuck_Shurley, Becky_Rosen Additional Tags: Werewolf-AU, Pack_Dynamics, Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Mating, Half- breeds, Alpha!Dean, Alpha!Sam, pregnant!Jess, but_no_male_pregnancy!, because_I´m_no_good_at_writing_that, there_is_hetero_love_too, what_a shock..., young!Cas, Bestiality Series: Part 1 of Seasons_Change Stats: Published: 2013-01-13 Completed: 2013-04-02 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 16675 ****** Winter´s Breath ****** by Harley_N_Joker Summary Since Castiel´s fifth birthday he had decided that winter was his most favorite season ever. But never, not in his wildest dreams, had he imagined his ordinary village life to change so drastically on an innocent, snowy New Year´s Eve. Barely escaping from his burning village and the claws of a strange, giant wolf-man only to almost freeze to death under a tree weren´t exactly Castiel´s future plans. Fortunately not all wolves seemed to be carnivorous and the one currently snuggling closer to his side was warm and oh so very soft. OR The one where Castiel is a human child who suddenly finds himself in the company of strange wolves...or people turning into wolves...or...well, it´s hard for him to grasp. Luckily the future alpha is very willing to help solving his problems with himself and inside the group. OR I really, really suck like hell at summaries and just hope you are interested enough to just overlook how bad I am at this. Notes I know I have some other work to do but I always wanted to write a Supernatural/Werwolf cross-over and well, it just hit me. I hope I´m gonna do well. If not then I hope you flame my butt right from this site. All remaining mistakes are mine. I thank my better half, Harley, for correcting the most obvious ones. Anyway, enjoy reading. ***** Unwelcome Surprises ***** Since Castiel´s fifth birthday he had decided that winter was his most favorite season ever. Admittedly the frost had turned the soil of their little field into hard, solid granite and the few animals still strong enough to withstand the cold were probably shivering in the barn even though their neighbors had lent very helping hands in repairing it. However the boy couldn´t help but watch the white, filigree flakes gracefully gliding towards his and his mother´s bedroom window with unbridled happiness. Their complexity had always fascinated him. How could something so delicate not made by human hands look exactly like the next one but still be so unique? Castiel wondered if it was part of God´s plan making him ponder whether there was some connection between the individuality of snowflakes and humans. Then again he always found something extraordinary to think about. His mother said that made his charm, the townspeople said it made him strange. Castiel sighed heavily and pressed his overly warm hand against the cool glass in front of him. Thanks to his mother´s good care a big fire was slowly eating its way through the beech wood in the hearth on the other side of the room. He knew he should have been asleep for at least two hours now given that it was the last day of the year and his mother still considered a thirteen year old boy a tiny child needing his rest so he would not become grumpy when the eve grew late. Castiel of course had protested loudly, as was his good right he thought, but all the begging and bargaining had turned out to be futile. After all he knew his mother only wanted his best and Castiel had to admit grudgingly she was almost always right. So he had bowed to her will, leaning his head upwards for a soft kiss pressed to his forehead, and accepted his fate. And in the end he got carried away by the soft snowfall. How surprising… He pushed himself away from the mesmerizing sight, not without a little inner turmoil beforehand, and bedded his black-haired head on the warm linen sheets. Closing his eyes he wondered how the festivities of this year might look like. Would there be a huge feast like the last one where their neighbor Mister Miller had given three ox and five chicken to be fed to the town? Or would Mister White, the town´s smith, create a new explosive powder to lighten up the sky again? He could still remember the…fireworks he believed the older children had called it. Bright red and yellow colors looking as beautiful and complex as his beloved snowflakes flashed before his inner eye and before he knew it Castiel was gliding smoothly into a deep slumber.   The sharp smell of smoke filling his nostrils brought him back to reality in a quite uncomfortable way. Sleepily Castiel made a note to check the windows for any draught as soon as he was able to. He stretched his limbs like a lazy cat and wondered if the festival had already begun. If so then why hadn´t his mother woken him up already? Perhaps she was overly busy with organizing things that had been dumped on her the last minute because she was too good a soul to simply say no. Just as he was contemplating staying in bed for a few moments longer to escape possible tasks still needing to be done he heard the screams. First Castiel thought them to be the joyous shouts and dirty laughs of the older girls and boys who always played their very odd game of hide-and-seek at New Year´s Eve but the longer he listened the more he decided there was something shady about it. And when he strained his ears a little bit more he could hear the sounds of breaking wood and of…fearful animals desperately trying to run for their lives? Confused he opened his still sleepy eyes and had to blink a few times to realize that no he wasn´t getting blind and that it was indeed thick, black smoke just mere inches away from his face filling the small room to the ceiling. Castiel was awake immediately and scrambled hastily out of bed hoping a spark from the hearth hadn´t begun setting the carpet on fire, as it had once five years ago and nearly burned down half the house, but as he kneeled in front of the ashes of a once respectable fire without even a hint of singed wood the relief he felt was only shortly lived. Instead he felt dread´s cold and clammy hands take a strong hold of his insides when his gaze finally travelled out of the now half-sooty window. The village was aflame! Hastily he rubbed the glass clean with the sleeve of his rumpled linen shirt to make sure it was just a simple bonfire somebody had lit up out of pure merriment. However as he watched their neighbor´s house slowly collapse under the hungry attention of sharp, yellow teeth it suddenly felt as if all spirit was sucked out of his body and despite the hot temperature of the room he began to shiver in ice-cold sweat. “Castiel! Castiel, darling, please answer me!” someone shouted through the thick haze of the boy´s mind and he immediately recognized his mother´s voice, smiling slightly despite the grave situation. The bedroom door burst open and Castiel found himself in a crushing embrace before he could even utter one word. Jittery hands ran through his hair and over his body, to make sure he was still in one piece Castiel mused, and his mother began mumbling numerous endearments he couldn´t quite grasp into his black strands. “We need to go, sweetheart. No time to pack. Just out of here. Now!” she said surprisingly steady given her overly agitated behavior and after one last kiss to his forehead and a smile she had to know wasn´t even remotely convincing his mother grabbed his right wrist like a vice and dragged him out of their home into the afire night.   The winter wind lapped at Castiel´s overly warm cheeks with icy tongues and his still slightly sleepy feet fought bravely against the knee-high snow, its wet coldness slowly crawling up his legs. So after a few hardly won feet away from their beloved home the boy was ashamed to admit he was out of breath and the shivers wrecking his body weren´t helping at all but his mother wouldn´t tolerate his body´s demands for a break and continued dragging him almost brutally through the thick snow-laden bushes. “Mother, where are we going? What´s happening? Why is the village on fire? Is somebody raiding us?” The questions flowed out of his mouth even though Castiel´s teeth had begun clattering very loudly. His mother though ignored them all just pulling him tighter to her while leading him, and this he just noticed now when the shouts and growls were growing quieter slowly, away from the town and into the dark forest nearby. The elders had told them many stories a night about the woods and its secrets. “It has its very own temper, laddies and lasses. So beware what flower or mushroom you pick or what deer or boar you hunt. If you don´t thank them properly by offering them a mighty fine poem or a share of your hunt they may lead you into your demise and you will be cursed to wander their depths until some of their darker creatures gets a whiff of you…” The children around the great fire they always created on a warm summer night had shivered in joyful anxiety knowing the best part of the old men´s tale was yet to come. “For there are beasts hiding in the shadows you cannot even imagine in your fiercest nightmares. Eyes to find every prey they desire, a nose to scent even the smallest drop of fearful sweat, strong legs to outrun even the swiftest of the swift, claws so sharp they tear through the strongest mail and a mouth full of fangs to devour the sweet, innocent flesh of the unaware child who dared to find its way into the beast´s territory.” A silent murmur went through the young audience, not sure whether to believe what their ears just witnessed or to dismiss it as a simple story to teach them to respect nature and not exploit it. At least they knew of the dangers from experience. Some of them had a father or brother never returning from one of the men´s hunts, forever bound to the uncertainty of what had happened to them. Because every time the party returned with one man less, faces shielded and eyes hardened to the world´s beauties, they kept strangely quiet about what happened to their companion. They just offered silent condolences to the new widow and began skinning and preparing their hunt to be shared between the people. Perhaps it was nothing more than a mere accident. After all the woods bordered on a steep coast and it was imaginable that in the rush of a hunt an unsteady foot would lose its ground and lead its owner to a deathly fall. And given the rarity of the missing hunters it was a commonly accepted reason. The uneasiness however never quite faded but without evidence of some fantastical supernatural creature slaughtering the men it would remain just that: an uneasy feeling. Of this Castiel had to think while fighting his way through the powdery white mess. It had grown dark around them – thick, broad treetops, though leafless and only slightly covered with snow, hiding moon and stars. His mother´s breathing was labored and her pull not as strong as mere minutes ago and judging from the strong color of her cheeks she was finally feeling the cold as strongly as him despite their exercise. He, for example, had lost every feeling in his feet and arms by now and was wondering whether he would ever regain it. Castiel was so lost in his thoughts about what was worse, losing a limb by animal or frost, that he didn´t see his mother stopping in her tracks suddenly. Luckily, or not, he couldn´t feel the pain in his nose when he bumped against her lightly clothed shoulder. When he stepped next to her still form to follow her gaze into the darkness in front of them Castiel felt the blood in his veins freeze too. Two large yellow eyes were watching them carefully from the shadows and between the harsh, fast beats of his heart Castiel could definitely hear the animals growling pants. That crushed his hope for it just being a frightened, peaceful woodland creature. “Castiel, sweetheart…” his mother´s wavering voice whispered into his ear and she squeezed his right shoulder softly. “I want you to listen to me honey, alright?” Castiel nodded shakily, his eyes never leaving the beast slowly creeping out of the shadows towards them. The animal looked like a wolf but much bigger and…apparently entirely wrong proportioned. As it got closer Castiel noticed strong muscled arms where the wolf´s forelegs should have been. They looked human though covered with thick gray fur and red splotches of, Castiel suspected with dread, blood and ended in long, sharp, hand-shaped claws. Bile began to rise in his throat when the – monster was the first word to come to his mind – man-wolf´s mouth twisted into a malicious grin full of crooked, yellowed fangs. “Do not stare at him, Castiel!” his mother hissed when she caught him staring wide-eyed at the creature and pushed his head downwards quickly. Her hand now twisting in his strands shook severely and did nothing to quell the dark fear manifesting in his chest. Castiel had never thought of his mother as an easily frightened housewife only educated in sweeping floors and cooking meals. After his father had been murdered on a travel to a nearby village she alone was the one to earn money and raise Castiel for unfortunately he had been their only child. She taught him how to build and repair a house, how to tell an edible mushroom from a poisonous one and how to darn his clothes never asking for help from any man of their town, though she had never declined if offered. But to see her now, eyes wide and filled with unhidden fear, her body shivering violently not only from the cold and her nervous breaths indicating her quick, fluttering heartbeat, told him this monster – whatever it was in the end – could and certainly would be their death. The realization made a hearty sob escape his throat. “It´s alright, darling…everything is going to be alright. Just listen to me. Just listen…” even though Castiel desperately wanted to believe that her rambling words just made him more anxious. And the beast was drawing closer and closer. Its growls almost sounded impatient now as if it was tired of watching this charade and finally wanted to get to the good and bloody part. “Stay calm, let him come…” he saw his mother´s legs step in front of him, afraid he would look into the wolf´s eyes again when he raised his own. Her hand stroked his hair once, twice before it left him entirely and took his mother´s warmth with it. “When he charges I want you to run. As fast as you can, yes?” she whispered lovingly, her voice strong and without a trace of fear. Castiel wanted to say no, to shake his head and tell her what she intended to do was the stupidest idea he had ever heard. She could not possibly think of sacrificing her own life just to save him. He had already suffered enough by losing his father, he knew he would never be able to cope with losing his mother, too. Instead of keeping her from fulfilling the insane quest she had set her mind on Castiel leaned his forehead onto her shoulder and let hot, painful tears soak into her dress. “I know, honey…but I need you to be strong. Can you be strong for me, Castiel?” he nodded shakily and tried to force his tears back. There would be the right time to cry but it wasn´t now. The soft snow crunched under the creature´s massive body. It could only be just a few feet remaining between them. “Good. When I tell you to run, you do. Go west, far west, until you reach the center of the forest. Never stop. Never look back. Not even…just don´t. Call for Bobby. Help will come.” Castiel nodded again, his mind not dwelling on the strangeness of his mother´s request. He saw it as her last will and would perform it with perfection. The footsteps stopped and a pregnant silence enveloped them. “I love you, mother…” his voice sounded muffled from tears and fabric but Castiel was sure his mother understood nevertheless. She had to… “Run Castiel…RUN!” A deafening howl pierced his ears and before Castiel even knew what had happened he felt branches and twigs tearing at his linen clothes and reddened cheeks. He ran and ran not knowing where he was going only that it should be west…was west…had to be west… When Castiel heard his mother´s terrified scream his feet immediately slowed down and his heart demanded that he turn around and help her. What kind of ungrateful bastard was he to leave her alone with that monster even if she had ordered him to? She was his mother for goodness sake! How would he ever be able to look at his reflection again? He was as much a monster as the one killing his mother right now! He had abandoned her and therefore caused her death! Castiel had killed his own mother… Blinded by those accusations and fresh tears gathering in his eyes he didn´t see the large root partially hidden by the snow on the way. Castiel wasn´t fast enough to react and so he landed face-first into the cold, white sea beneath him. The exact minute his left cheek hit the earth a fierce pain told him he had cut it pretty badly. Blood dripped on his shirt when he got up again on shaky legs. His feet and hands were badly scraped too but there was no time to worry about either of the wounds now. He needed to get going if he ever wanted to reach safety. Castiel started running again. Over frozen streams, past a couple of deer raising their head in sudden alarm and trees too similar to determine that he was heading in the right direction or not. With every labored breath he took Castiel noticed how exhaustion slowly overtook the adrenaline ebbing away in his veins. He wouldn´t be able to keep up his pace or even the movement of his muscles for much longer. And strangely enough this thought scared him more than imagining the beast coming after him for dessert. Hopefully he would reach the middle of the woods before that. He owed that to his mother and after what he had seen of the village to all of the other people not fortunate enough to live through the night. Castiel drew all of his inner strength and pushed by a broad group of trees just to see…a clearing…finally! But was it really the center? What if not and he had been running into the wrong direction all along? A tree-less area could just be an area where no trees and other plants were willing to grow. Castiel shook his head defiantly. No, this was it! He wouldn´t let his mother´s death be in vain! “Bobby…” he shouted or better tried to. His voice was nothing but a harsh whisper due to fear and running stealing his breath. But Castiel wouldn´t give up. If he had to he would scream this man´s name until his voice was completely gone. “Bobby.” He called again louder this time, the last remains of his hope for safety giving him strength. “Bobby, please! I need help!” Castiel repeated the procedure of shouting, turning his head to look around the clearing and shouting even louder for several minutes, maybe hours even, but nothing happened and after some more half-hearted attempts he just stopped altogether. Sighing he sat down at the foot of the biggest tree the area had to offer. He was going to die. There was no longer any doubt in Castiel´s mind about that. At least the thought of dying while trying was much more comforting than being caught by the beast and torn to shreds. It meant he´d tried to honor his mother´s wish and that thought gave him a certain kind of peace. A twig snapped to his right but Castiel felt suddenly too dizzy to turn his head. It seemed he was wrong again and the monster had finally found him. He closed his eyes in defeat and contemplated asking it for a few more minutes until exhaustion and the cold had taken his consciousness but dismissed it as a stupid idea his clouded mind had conjured to give him one final, bitter laugh. Something warm and incredibly soft pressed gently against his shoulder and if Castiel wasn´t delirious yet then he could hear quiet whines, too. He let his body lean onto the furry creature next to him smiling slightly about his luck to find at least one friendly animal in these woods. To his surprise rather than leaving him, now that he was confirmed to be no threat, it snuggled closer to him almost as if it wanted to shield him from the cold with its huge body. But that was just wishful thinking. Perhaps the animal, a wolf by the whimpering snuffles and if that wasn´t ironic, just mistook him for one of its cubs and was therefore not interested in feasting on his flesh. Whatever the reason Castiel somehow knew the creature would not harm him. Maybe it even had heard him…calling…no, that couldn´t be. There was no way this wolf was the Bobby his mother had talked about. But then again after everything he had seen and experienced tonight… “Bobby?” he asked cautiously. The wolf above him froze and after a few moments of lying on his chest like a dead animal it withdrew and left him again to the cold´s strong bite. Castiel groaned disgruntled and tried to lift one arm to pull the animal and its warmth back to him but wasn´t successful. His body was heavy like lead, not reacting to even the simple command of opening his eyes. “Please…” he begged not certain whether the wolf was able to actually understand him or whether it was still sitting at his side at all. “Bobby…please…help…” A hot mouth embracing his body, lifting him gently from the ground and a low growl were the last things Castiel was aware of before darkness finally overtook his exhausted mind. ***** Meeting The Family ***** Chapter Notes If you think of a dwarf while reading about Bobby then you are not alone. Harley mentioned it to me when she was proof-reading and I immediately blamed the many Hobbit-fanfics for that... But damn, they are good! And everything in italic is werewolf-ish. When Castiel finally re-entered the world of the conscious he immediately wished to go back to the dark, comforting place of neither knowing nor feeling. There was pain and lots of it. Every rasping, shallow breath he took burned like fire in his chest. Sweat trickled down his temples and nose right into the cut on his cheek making it sting incredibly. His body was wrecked with violent shivers and throaty coughs. And his limbs were still lying motionless on the bed beneath him, ignorant to every command his mind ordered dizzily. But Castiel was alive and in his opinion aching in every possible place he could imagine, and in some he could not, was a small price to pay for having a second chance at seeing the world and grow old. His eyes opened slowly and only under heavy protest and even the room´s dim light was far too bright for him after so many...time resting. Briefly Castiel wondered how long it actually had been since he was rescued. By a wolf for goodness sake. Fate really worked in mysterious ways. His lips ached when they stretched into a soft smile but the relief and happiness were too strong to ignore. “´bout time you woke up.” a brusque voice said from the other side of the room and Castiel could hear multiple footsteps approaching his bed. When he turned his head to the right he came face-to-face with the sight of three men clad in dark leather shirts and trousers. One of them had the size of a mountain and was towering above the other two by several inches, his long bangs hiding most of his face as he looked down on Castiel. A faint smile played about his lips and his brown eyes twinkled with a curious spark as they continued examining each other. The smaller man next to him snorted loudly with either humor or discomfort Castiel couldn´t tell for the man´s face was much more of a stoic mask than the other´s though his green eyes held a smoldering intensity that mesmerized Castiel and at the same time made him feel somewhat uncomfortable like the small prey gazing fearfully at its overwhelming predator. And so he averted his eyes quickly not wanting to provoke any ill feelings in this man before they hadn´t been properly introduced. The last one of them, standing right at his head, was the oldest and smallest of the group but stout in build and his bearded, grim face and heavy gaze evoked a certain frightened respect inside of Castiel that made him shrink into the warm cushion trying to look as small and meek as possible. Castiel knew he should thank them for their hospitality, after all he was well- educated, and offer them something in return, should introduce himself and politely ask for their names at least. He wondered whether they would answer his questions about the wolf that saved his life or the beast that he and his…his mother… “Why the sour face? Not happy to live, boy?” the bearded man asked, slight concern marking his hardened features. Castiel shook his head as vehemently as he could and pressed his lids together hoping to reign over the remorse and sorrow trying to poison the delight that had nestled in his heart. Opening his mouth, the words clear and loud in his mind, Castiel only heard a rasping breath escape his lips followed by a few violent coughs that shook his whole body for almost five minutes leaving him dizzy and sweating profusely. Suddenly there was a mug of water in front of his face and Castiel gulped it down greedily enjoying the occasional cold droplet sliding down his over-heated skin. There was a chuckle next to his ear, low enough so the others probably couldn´t hear, deep and rough around the edges but nevertheless melodic in its tune and Castiel felt immediately drawn to it like a moth to a flame. A boyish, mischievous smirk greeted his searching eyes along with a smooth, tan face and if Castiel concentrated enough he could even detect freckles. The urge to count them all one by one came unbidden to his mind but fortunately he hadn´t enough strength left to follow it through. And so he just nodded and hoped the man would recognize it as a sign of gratitude. “We should let him rest for a few more days. At least until he´s able to answer our questions with a simple yes or no.” the man told his companions and Castiel noticed his eyes following the motion of a hand running through short brunette hair. The displeasure was clearly written all over the older male´s face but he kept silent and nodded curtly before muttering something about a more important business than playing nurse and leaving the room with a last disapproving glance for Castiel. The men watched him leave with amusement glinting in their eyes. “Never seen him worry so much for someone not pack.” the huge brunette said between chuckles. Castiel must have made some kind of surprised noise because their twin smiles grew even broader. If that man really just displayed worry for his well-being than Castiel didn´t want to be on his bad side. “Don´t worry, kid. It´s just his way to cope with the shit life´s dealt him over the years. Inside he´s all soft and warm like freshly baked pie.” “Don´t let him hear that. You know how he gets…” “Yeah, yeah. Spare me the lecture, ma!” “Very funny…” They continued bickering like little children and Castiel should have listened to them snickering along and smiling when one of them glanced in his direction. And he wanted to, honestly. They seemed like good people, taking Castiel in without knowing anything about him and caring for his injuries and comfort. But sleep was overcoming him once again and the more bravely he fought the more apparent was his inevitable defeat. A yawn escaped Castiel´s lips and his eyes grew heavier with every second he watched the two males shooting playful insults at each other, their voices slowly fading to nothing but a soothing whisper in the back of his mind.   ===============================================================================   He hated winter. It smelled like nothing. New and clean and innocent but not worth his attention. Sometimes he would catch a whiff of a deer or rabbit but most of the time the smell was too weak to make out its owner´s location. So he just ignored it as hard as it always was when his mouth began to water in anticipation of a meal better suited for his tastes than roots and mushrooms and vegetables. Snow was fascinating though and playing with it simply amazing. Snapping at the flakes falling down coloring his brown fur white made him feel like a pup again and every time he wished Sammy was there with him. Like good old times. He caught the scent long before he heard the pants and shouts. It was nothing he had ever smelled before. Like earth after a sudden downpour still soft and slick from water, spicy resin freshly bleeding out of a cut tree, a breeze coming from over the ocean carrying the weight of unknown and exotic odors. He was frozen on the spot, sniffing like a mad dog trying to find the scent´s owner. Heat began to boil inside of him. Heat that made him nervous, anxious, excited. Made his tail waggle madly behind him like the first time he had smelled one of the fertile females in their pack. He needed. Every instinct, every fiber in his body told him he had to take that heavenly scent and make it his so nobody else could ever steal it from him. He sniffed again, more intently now and imagined what kind of bitch he would meet at the other end. He imagined bright and curious eyes, sleek fur and a slender body ready to bow and bend for him whenever he wished. A submissive, little wolf that would fulfill his every demand but harbor enough defiance to provide the one or other passionate fight. Reality couldn´t have been any more different. When he reached the clearing, filled to the brim with lustful anticipation, the only living being he saw was neither a wolf nor female at all. A boy, bruised and battered and shivering miserably in his light clothes. His excitement had taken a huge damper but he stayed where he was not taking his eyes of the child for one second. This close he could smell other things hiding behind the glory of the boy´s scent. Fear, blood, smoke and sweat were the most prominent. The boy smelled like a frightened animal that barely escaped its predator. He took a few steps into the shivering human´s direction, curious and still very much intrigued by his scent. A twig snapped under his paws. It sounded too loud in the silence. The child looked exhausted and hopeless when he drew near and sat next to him. His eyes were closed in defeat and his pale skin was littered with cuts and bruises. It was the compassion of his human´s mind that made him breach the few inches between them and paw at the boy´s shoulder with his head. He was as cold as ice. Normally people and animals were dead when he found them this cold…pride and respect for that little creature welled up in his chest mixed with a bit of the desire he´d felt before when he saw the human smile. He couldn´t let the boy die like this! Not such a strong soul. Such a beautiful child. Magnificent scent. Mate… So he laid his head on the boy´s lap hoping a few more minutes just the two of them alone would do no more damage than the cold already had and enjoyed the company of the one being that he so desperately wanted at his side.   ===============================================================================   When Castiel awoke next it was even less pleasant than before. He was practically bathed in cold sweat making his clothes cling to him like a second, wet skin. His heart and breath were telling him he´d run a hundred miles without pause and his shaking arms told him their support wouldn´t last for much longer. But worst of all were the images clinging to him desperately. He exhaled shakily and lay back on the soft furs of the bed. He could still see his mother´s eyes staring at him accusingly, daring him to tell her she had wanted him to run when he easily could have stayed to fight the beast alongside her. Together they might have had a chance at defeating it. Together they might have been able to flee. Together they might have stayed alive… A warm hand stroked his cheek tenderly wiping away the tears Castiel did not notice he had shed. He turned his attention from the stone ceiling still holding his mother´s face to the person next to him and was greeted by lush lips curved up into a gentle smile. She couldn´t have been much older than him. Four, maybe five years at best, but even at this young age she was the most beautiful girl Castiel had ever seen. Her fine, blond hair matched her delicate nose and rosy cheeks as perfectly as her stormy, gray eyes. “Are you an angel?” he asked her dreamily knowing fully well he was staring at her unabashedly but right now Castiel hadn´t even the slightest idea how to spell shame. Her smile only increased in intensity showing pearly white teeth in the progress. “Hardly…” she whispered and stroked through his sweat-dampened hair. Castiel couldn´t help but lean into the touch that reminded him so much of his mother´s. A content sigh escaped his lips, answered by a feminine giggle. “My name is Jessica. And actually I didn´t come here just to coddle you.” the girl said after a few minutes of comfortable silence between them. And now he felt his decency return to him guiltily resulting in a slight flush of his cheeks. “Apologies. I didn´t mean to…” a slender finger on Castiel´s lips stopped him from continuing his attempted ramble. “Just tell me your name.” “Castiel…” Jessica nodded approvingly and before Castiel had even time to react she had pulled the blankets and furs off of his body leaving him naked before her twinkling eyes except for the makeshift underwear hiding his most private parts. “Well then Castiel, time for a bath! You reek like a room full of sweating men covered in liquids a proper woman like me should not talk least alone think about.” the blond exclaimed happily and shouldered, to Castiel´s immense surprise, more than half of his weight before carrying him out of the room.   ===============================================================================   The hot water was pure bliss and turned Castiel´s remaining aches into nothing but a dull, easy to bear throb in the back of his skull. Sighing he glided deeper into the perfumed water until his nose touched the rose petals swimming around merrily. Jessica had dragged him the long way to the bathing room when his legs gave up the pretentious fight of holding him upright and Castiel was thankful for that because he suspected she would have been strong enough to simply sling him over her shoulder like he weighed nothing at all. Which wasn´t such an empty assumption he supposed. After all he had been unconscious and sleeping for almost two weeks with nothing to eat and drink but the occasional bowl of soup and cup of water forced past his lips when he hadn´t been completely delirious. Castiel, of course, couldn´t remember such occasions but when he asked Jessica who his caretaker had been and whether he would meet him or her sometime soon to show his gratitude she simply flashed her beaming smile and told him she wasn´t allowed to tell. But the questions she was able to answer the blond happily did. “As you probably guessed, we are beneath the earth in caves our ancestors carved hundreds of years ago into the stone. Naturally over the time our population became more numerous and we needed more space than the few holes and caverns trying to hold our numbers. So Lionel the third invented the tradition that every new leader has to provide new living quarters for his people as a tribute to the leaders of old to plead for prosperity and security.” she said while she washed the grime and sweat from his hair dangling her naked legs in the water. “I have never heard of…your people, have I?” Castiel tried very hard not to moan from the wonderful feelings those massaging hands gave him but wasn´t able to catch all of them. And every time a noise did escape his lips Jessica would just chuckle and bump his right shoulder with her knee. “I hope not. That would mean our alpha doesn´t do a very good job at protecting us. Lean forward.” Jessica´s hands left his skull and Castiel tried not to grab them and push them forcefully back. He wouldn´t be successful anyway. So he did as he was told and immediately a flood of rose-scented water washed over his head. It was colder than the water he was sitting in sending a refreshing shiver through his body. When he had shaken the excessive water from his hair Castiel turned to the side so he could look at the girl now sitting next to him legs again dipping in the water. “I´d say being closed off from the rest of society is isolation rather than protection.” the smile she sent him didn´t reach her blue eyes and Castiel regretted uttering those words. “That´s because you don´t know any better, Castiel. But hopefully, you will.” And before he could ask her what that cryptic comment had meant he had to fight for his life and dignity. Because the water fight Jessica had just announced was totally going to be in her favor but damn his pride as a man Castiel would fight until the end. ***** Observations ***** Chapter Notes Know this story´s a bit slow-paced but my mind wants it that way and I´m actually happy to oblige. Next chapter´s gonna be full of exposition, hurray... And I simply cannot imagine Bobby without his cap. Pretty weird seeing it while writing... In his thirteen years of life Castiel had been a participant in a lot of different greetings. Often willing and happy to return but most of the time searching for a way out even before the person opposite had started. Castiel had returned silent nods of acknowledgement and companionable slaps on shoulders and backs enjoying them the most because they always made him feel accepted and appreciated. Sometimes he regretted their rarity only to remind himself that they would always hold a special place in his memory because of that. He had returned handshakes of all sorts – favoring the dry and wrench-like over the cold and wet ones that felt like he held a dead fish in his hand – secretly unable to comprehend why polite phrases like smiling and wishing all the best when you actually harbored no good feelings for the other person were obligatory. And of course Castiel had been victim to a variety of hugs and embraces. From the soft and loving ones of his mother over the strangely smelling and awkward ones of all the old ladies who happened to fancy his shy and quiet behavior to the bone-crushing, sweaty headlocks and noogies the other boys had always been eager to grant him. But sitting at a broad, long table with at least thirty other men and women in a hall so big Castiel couldn´t see the ceiling and somehow knowing that every nose was not trained on the delicacies laid out before them but on him was more than a little strange. Never had Castiel been sniffed at. Not by the people of their town and not by any stranger or merchant passing through; even animals hadn´t been overly keen on sniffing at his clothes or hands. Here he was, however, trying to swallow the dried deer meat past the lump in his throat. “You´ll have to excuse them.” Jessica whispered into his left ear and handed him a mug of watered down wine that tasted a lot sweeter than Castiel had expected. “We haven´t had visitors for a long time now. They are just curious.” Castiel was not sure why they thought sniffing at strangers would make a good first impression but refrained from asking. He was, after all, just a mere guest in their middle wearing out their hospitality excessively as it was. Complaining about their unique habits would only make him seem ungrateful and that couldn´t be farther from the truth. Still, they could not blame him from glaring around the table every time somebody walked by and took a hearty sniff making the hair in Castiel´s neck stand upright. He emptied the mug with vigor and immediately searched for the wine tankard hiding its existence behind bowls of potatoes and carrots. Perhaps a slight intoxication would give him the indifference he needed to get through the evening. Castiel found the clay jug sitting a few places away at the head of the table. He pondered whether the alcoholic liquid was actually worth the effort asking the other people to hand it over or getting it himself when he knew for certain there was going be massive sniffing either way. Green orbs and tan skin filled his vision suddenly and Castiel realized he had been staring for quite a long time while his mind had debated with his stomach. The heat of embarrassment warmed his cheeks uncomfortably but instead of averting his gaze like the last time he had when staring at the other man´s stoic face Castiel kept his eyes trained on those smooth features. A smile full of confidence and amusement played on the man´s lips making his own mouth twitch in response. There was a golden glimmer in the other male´s eyes. Something challenging and dangerous just for him to see and Castiel had to admit he was intrigued by the look in those eyes and its meaning. Something smooth and bulbous was pressed into his palms and he broke their staring match to find the source of this disturbance. He was met with the actual object of his affection; the jug´s deep red content sloshing innocently around. When he looked back to his right, his mug now again filled to the brim with the sweet wine, the brunette man was still watching him with unhindered interest gleaming in his bright eyes. When Castiel lifted his drink and mouthed a silent “Thank you”, because he was very certain the green-eyed male had been the one to pass the tankard, he got the same boyish grin that had fascinated him the night he first awoke.   ===============================================================================   Dinner went by quietly after that and Castiel prevented to be bothered further by the common lack of decency by focusing on the couple´s conversation across the table. It was clear who dominated this relationship; she explaining excitedly to him the advantages of same-sex relations while he was nodding and scratching his beard nervously from time to time. Listening to her growing enthusiasm made him remember the way most of his people had treated this open approval; death glares and insults were the chaste choices. It was nice to see nobody cared about her very explicit explanation either because they were accepting of the topic and the people or because they were used to the woman exclaiming her “Love for the queer things in life”. In the end Castiel did not care which reason proved to be correct as long as they didn´t show open hatred. He himself was utterly indifferent to sexual orientation thanks to his mother´s, secretly despised, education. We were created through love. Raised with love. We live with love in our heart and on the way, Castiel, we search for the Chosen One to give our love to. No matter the age, no matter the status and no matter the gender. God cannot frown upon us for he created the people with the purpose of giving and receiving love. And in the end we will die with a smile on our face and the memory of love burning bright in our slowing heart. This his mother had whispered into the dark of the night when they were lying in their beds side by side. Soft and hopeful like a lullaby it had rolled from her lips but with the bitter-sweet touch of someone who´d already found and lost his one chosen love. Castiel had always wanted to ask her if she meant his father or some man she had loved in her youth but he never knew how. And now that he had no chance of ever doing so remembering her compassionate words was at least something he could do to honor her memory.   ===============================================================================   After another hour of trying four different slices of pie which always mysteriously appeared in front of Castiel whenever he had emptied the last plate – he suspected Jessica but every time he turned she was either focusing on her own meal or integrated in light conversation – the great hall slowly emptied. Leaving behind a battlefield of dirty dishes, wine stains licking their way through the wooden table and bowls that had spilled their contents due to some individual´s desperate quest to take with him or her the last edible remains as a lovely midnight snack. A hand tugged on the sleeve of his new lime-green shirt and when Castiel looked up he was greeted warmly by his new friend´s soft features. “They want to talk to you, follow me.” Jessica guided him through passageways with sudden twists and turns and past rooms of small and big size with such speed and precision that left Castiel dizzy and in awe. He was certain, if he ever tried to find his way through these tunnels alone he would get lost after just a few minutes. At least Jessica spared him the humiliation of being dragged like a heavy sack for which he was incredibly grateful and a little bit proud of his own fast recovery abilities. Another, probably completely pointless, thing that caught Castiel´s attention while they had made their way through the complicated corridor system and now waiting in front of the leader´s personal chambers was the fact that there seemed to be no doors separating the private rooms from the common areas. Instead heavy curtains of the most curious material were shielding sight and sound from unwanted eyes and ears. The one he was currently staring at had been tinted a dark brown that shimmered golden in the torchlight when he turned his head a little to the left. It looked coarse and thick and Castiel´s fingers itched to touch it. “Just do it. At some point we all did. Nobody´s gonna rip your heart out for it.” Castiel wondered why he hadn´t felt the heat radiating off of the larger male´s body sooner. As it was he could not control the violent shiver that crept through his entire body. “Cold?” the velvety-rough voice asked near his right ear and he could clearly detect the smug satisfaction hidden behind a mask of concern. Castiel had no idea where the sudden sense of boldness came from but when he leaned back against a firm, muscular chest without immediate protest being voiced he counted it as a good move. And when a chin was propped up on his head he even felt a little victorious.   ===============================================================================   After almost two hours Castiel had told the three familiar men, now each of them equipped with a name, everything about his escape through the woods. Well, technically everything. He had told them about the attack on him and his mother but had changed the single gruesome beast into a pack of ordinary wolves. It was not that he didn´t want to trust them with this information. He would have told them with pleasure but feared their reaction to something so clearly supernatural. In the end they would have simply thrown him out because they thought he had gone mad. “So your mother told you call my name?” Bobby´s gruff voice pierced through the various thoughts currently swirling around in Castiel´s head. One of them revolving around the disbelief about his sudden change of luck. It had been a huge surprise to learn the older man actually was the Bobby his mother had wanted him to contact. Of course Castiel had had his suspicions the first time he had looked at the three men but he never truly expected to be so fortunate. That meant he had kept his promise and fulfilled his mother´s last wish. The smile still playing about his lips had first earned him confused and suspicious looks from his interrogators. “Yes.” he answered keeping steady eye contact with the bearded man even if it was hard; something about being honest and honorable he had learned from the other men in his town pretty early. “Why?” “I don´t know. She never mentioned you or…” his eyes darted first to the mountain of a man then to his brother lingering a few seconds longer on his face. “…Sam or Dean before.” “What was her name?” Sam asked him softly and Castiel liked to think it was out of compassion for his loss. “Emily.” Castiel saw their eyes widening with a certain understanding like the greatest epiphany of all had struck them simultaneously. “Did you know her?” he hated how strongly his voice quivered and how his hands tugged at his shirt nervously. He should know better than to hope; even worse he had no idea why or for what he hoped only that he wanted one of them to say yes. Castiel spent several minutes wringing his hands in anticipation while the other three exchanged knowing glances and a few harsh whispers. It seemed they were disagreeing on what to tell him making him even more anxious to hear their reply. Finally Dean was the one to turn back to him smile slightly dampened and eyes glistening ruefully. “Listen Cas, we…” “Cas?” “Short version of your name, yes.” “Why invent a short version when you can just call me by my name? It is not that hard to pronounce.” The brunette rubbed his eyes with a hearty sigh that balanced on the edge of annoyed; Castiel was curious to know why but kept his mouth shut. There was always a later. “Anyway! We know you got lots of questions you wanna have answered and truth is there´s a lot to tell you, hell, hundreds of things we need to tell you. But we can´t. Not right now.” “Why not?” Sam cleared his throat loudly and stepped next to his brother´s clearly irritated form. “It´s a lot to take in. We need you to talk to our shaman first before we can reveal anything about our…clan to an outsider. We have to ensure our safety first. You understand?” Castiel nodded briefly. Of course he understood their reasoning; it was the logical conclusion of a leader when faced with a possible unknown threat. What he did not understand was why they hadn´t said this sooner. It would have saved them a lot of time. He refrained from stating his opinion when he noticed the glares Bobby and Dean sent his way. Instead he caught himself yawning widely which was only appropriate given the blackness visible through a small window to his right side. “Finally the kid speaks my language. If that´s anything boys…” “Actually…” “I don´t care, Sam. Out with you all!” Bobby´s voice was hard at the edges but held a certain admiration for the tall man when he stared him, and Castiel and Dean at that too, out of the large room. The curtain´s fall was final leaving the three men standing awkwardly, like a bunch of lost puppies, in front of it. “Did Bobby just go alpha on us?” Dean´s voice sounded disbelieving and insulted. However, straining his ears Castiel heard the humorous hum underlying his words. His brother just nodded not able to keep the grin off of his face. Castiel had no idea where the joke was hiding in their current situation but smiled nevertheless. “So Sammy, what are we gonna do with Cas here?” a calloused hand ruffled through his black hair affectionately. He tried his hardest not to lean into it, needless to say he was failing spectacularly. “Most of the dorms are full but I think Becky and Chuck have a…” “Oh hell no! He´s not gonna bunk with them. Nobody´s got out of this room unscarred, Sam!” the hand left Castiel´s hair and instead curled around his shoulder protectively pressing him into a scorching heat. Whoever these people were they had to be terrible in character and manner for the man to develop such a strong reaction. “Where else then? We have no room until spring, Dean. You know that.” “I assume the room I slept in belongs to someone else, preferably one of you. The bed is big enough for three people. If we throw another blanket and pillow on it can I stay there, please?” Castiel asked sleepily while rubbing his tired head on Dean´s lean, leather-clad chest. The hand that had rubbed slow circles into his shoulder stiffened slightly and if he had been more awake Castiel would have apologized for his behavior. As it was he just felt the warmth of the man beside him and the comfort it brought his body when he leaned on him. “You know…that´s actually a good idea.” The amused rumble of Dean´s chest beneath his head was quite nice and Castiel caught himself not minding if he fell asleep on it right now. ***** Desire Is A Bitch ***** Chapter Notes Uh well...I know I said there would be lots of exposition in this chapter and believe me I am as surprised as you all to find Dean pining and trying to ignore his best friend´s pleas instead. I have no idea where that came from, honestly! Blame my subconscious. I do it all the time, ask Harley. I hope you´re gonna enjoy this chapter anyhow. And thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and the brownie points, I mean kudos. Keep it up, they make me very happy. Castiel had expected to have more nightmares now that he wasn´t delirious from fever and exhaustion anymore. He still felt he deserved every gruesome detail his subconscious wanted to use to torture him for failing his mother. And indeed he caught glimpses of the horrors that could have, should have, been his but never long enough to be truly frightened. It had to be the warmth and soft snoring of the man beside him driving away the darkness of his dreams. Castiel slid closer to Dean´s sleeping form. He was lying on his back, the hand on his chest moving rhythmically with his breathing. The bed sheets underneath him were wrinkled and his blanket had slipped down to his hips indicating the man had been moving a lot during the night. Fortunately, for Castiel, he had not kicked at his shins or slapped him in the face. He wondered if he should pull the blanket up again. After all Dean was half-naked and the temperature of the room was nothing he´d call warm. In the end Castiel decided against it. There were no goose bumps on his skin and he wasn´t curled in on himself so Castiel assumed the man was comfortable with his current situation. Instead his eyes were drawn to Dean´s face shimmering with a golden gleam now that the sun was slowly rising. If it hadn´t been for the few wrinkles at the corner of his eyes Castiel would have never thought Dean to be in his mid-thirties. His skin was tanned and smooth and again he was tempted to slide those few inches, separating them, closer to count the very fascinating freckles dusting the other man´s cheeks and nose. “If I feel your breath on my face I´m gonna kick you out…” Dean´s sleepy voice rumbled through the silent room making Castiel nearly jump out of the spacious bed on his own. He cast his eyes down guiltily berating himself for his lack of respecting personal boundaries. “Apologies. I didn´t mean to disturb your sleep.” A throaty chuckle and a tug on his shirt´s sleeve was the only response he got. Castiel found his head bedded on a firm but soft chest ears immediately focusing on the strong, steady heartbeat beneath him. Instead of his own blanket a warm arm was slung around his shoulders and before he could register what exactly happened Castiel found himself head to toe with a living, breathing furnace. Decency told him he should be embarrassed to lie in bed with a poorly dressed stranger let alone be cuddled up to one. However, even after several minutes of waiting for the shame to turn his insides into a twisting knot of discomfort he felt nothing of the sort; no urge to draw away and hide inside of a blanket cocoon at all. And if Dean did not mind his hand smoothing over his taut stomach to make himself more comfortable then why should Castiel with the man´s arm around his body. “You remind me of Sam. When he was young and cute and much smaller than me.” the smile was evident in the older man´s voice and Castiel felt himself response immediately with one of his own; partly because of the vibration under his head. “What does it feel like to have siblings?” he asked curiously, overly aware of his lips sliding over foreign skin when he spoke. “It´s like living with a little hell-spawn. You´re always the one to blame when something goes wrong because little Sammy would never even think about playing pranks. You have to deal with questions that would turn your ears scarlet if you weren´t so used to them. Sharing is a given, no matter how much you´d like to eat your pie alone. And God forbid the smugness when they grow taller than you…” “Sounds exhausting.” “It is, believe me…but I´d never change it for anything.” Silence settled over them while the room was slowly bathed in bright golden light and Castiel wondered whether Dean was as amazed of them getting along so well as he was.   ===============================================================================   The cold January air felt soothing on his overheated body, rustling gently through his hair and over his naked shoulders. Unfortunately it couldn´t wash away the scent still lingering on his skin. Of course it would have been an easy task to simply wash it away but apparently fate had decided to make this innocent boy with those mesmerizing blue eyes, fair body and coal-black hair his biggest weakness. Dean drew a shaky breath and rubbed his sweaty palms on his thighs deliberately ignoring the obvious bulge between them. He had been like this for about two hours; ever since he had left the nervous boy in front of Pamela´s room. Dean had wanted to participate in enlightening Castiel about their pack and its members´ condition but the rules were strict in such a case. Desire pulsed through his body again when he remembered their embrace only a few hours prior. How hotly Castiel´s breath had ghosted over his chest, his pale hand stroking over his abs. The growl leaving his throat now was more animalistic than human. His wolf had whispered to him in that moment, filthy obscenities making it even harder to resist temptation and battle visible signs of his attraction. It would´ve been easy, so very easy, to just take the boy´s hand – gently of course to not frighten him – and guide it further south. To the place aching with unfulfilled need and desperation to have him. He would have been confused at first, probably never having done this even to himself, not certain why Dean would want his attention there. Would Castiel blush when he discovered Dean´s purpose? Trembling lips caught between pearly teeth and sapphire eyes shamefully cast anywhere but his body? Perhaps he would smile shyly after a few moments; asking Dean without words to show him the way of the greatest pleasure. And oh how he would make the boy gasp and moan and scream and writhe with unbridled lust. He wanted to taste everything of Castiel. Firstly pressing soft kisses to his forehead and stroking trough his satiny hair, then his nose and cheeks, the tips of his ears and finally those sinful lips. He would nip at them, stroke them with his thumb and tongue until Castiel would beg him to take them in a passionate kiss. “Dean?” The taste of copper filled his mouth when he bit on his bottom lip to prevent another growl from slipping out. Of course his bad luck had to show its ugly head right when he did not need it. Castiel´s scent came closer and closer until Dean could feel his presence leaning on the railing of the balcony to his left. He smelled confusion, excitement and happiness but most prominent was the boy´s curiosity. “You´re still here.” he stated with a small smile playing about his lips and hoped to whomever up there still had some sympathy left for him that his arousal wasn´t as easy to spot as he assumed. “Of course…we are pack, aren´t we?” Castiel whispered back, uncertainty making his voice quiver slightly. His shoulders tensed when he laid his hand on one of them whether it was because of nerves or the fact he was standing beside the boy still in his half- naked glory Dean had no idea. “You´re taking this whole werewolf ordeal awfully well. No fight or flight response at all?” There was a deep, aching sadness in those blue eyes when Castiel turned his head to look at Dean immediately awakening feelings of protectiveness and sympathy in him. “I thought I lost everything. My home, my people and my family…to know I can belong somewhere…why would I possibly want to run away?” Dean did not answer. There was no need for words when a simple shoulder rub was worth so much more. Silence settled over them both as they watched the delicate snowflakes dance across the landscape before them. It was comfortable and the longer it grew the more Dean felt his frantic lust turn into something more calm and content, an unhurried satisfaction at having found someone outside of his family and Bobby who could be this special to him. “I…I haven´t been entirely honest with you…” Castiel whispered ashamed and his pale hands clenched around the wooden railing. Dean had known that. They all had when Castiel had opened his mouth the night before and told them about the pack of wolves attacking them, fear clouding the boy´s natural odor like a thick, ugly blanket. They hadn´t dug into the topic further however, all of them sure Castiel must have had his reasons for lying straight to their faces. And if he was going to tell him now Dean was very certain they had been right. “Why lie, Cas?” “Fear. Uncertainty. I didn´t know if you would believe me when I told you we were ambushed by a yellow-eyed man-like wolf. I thought you would call me mad and get rid of me as fast as you can…” Dean was overly aware that hugging Castiel and burying his nose into a soft mop of dark hair did nothing to help his crumbling last resistance survive any longer but he wasn´t known to be very reasonable when he had set his mind on something or someone in this case. And the way the child leaned into him, nails lightly scratching over his back when he tried to get a better grip, and bedded his forehead on Dean´s shoulder was enough to confirm him and his wolf this was one of his most brilliant ideas ever.   ===============================================================================   “Dean Winchester…I haven´t seen you and your lovely shaped ass for…hmmm…five months? You are slacking, young alpha.” Pamela greeted him with a broad smile on her lush lips and a hearty squeeze to his behind. She looked even more beautiful than the last time he had visited her during heat season for a little chat. So his dad had been right after all, some women really did become better with age. “I am a busy man, Pam. As much as I enjoy your company there are more pressing matters to deal with.” Dean answered and seated himself comfortably on one of the giant cushions around the low wooden table where two steaming mugs of tea were waiting for them. “So I have heard…” she smirked at him, probably would have winked too, the little minx, had her eyes not been hidden by the black cloth she had started to wear since she became the shaman of this pack. Not that she needed to with everyone being used to the scars of the burn marks some cruel humans had caused when she had been just a small child but Pamela always said it gave her some air of mysteriousness and that was only helpful for her job. “He is quite something, your boy. Very mature for his age. And not only because of what happened to him.” she told him proudly between little sips of the steaming, sweet liquid as if it was already official Dean was going to take the boy as his mate. “Agreed.” was the only answer he would give her on that topic. Even if she was his and Sammy´s godmother there was no way he would lay his and his wolf´s interest openly before her. Every other person would have let it slide, accepting their future alpha had no desire to discuss this particular topic, but not Pamela. She had after all helped his mother give birth to him, had changed his diapers and had taught him everything about the birds and the bees. If there was someone who would not let anything concerning his love life slide it was her…Dean should have prepared better… “I already thought you two did the deed when he came in, your stench overpowering everything. But knowing you he would have been unable to walk and adding to that he´s still a child so…?” His growl was pure frustration not even the taste of his favorite tea was able to weaken. As much as he loved the woman she sometimes could really grate on your nerves. “We cuddled, nothing more. I know the rules, Pam!” “But you wanted to, didn´t you?” This time Dean´s growl was heated and pained, combining both his and his wolf´s emotional and bodily suffering. Damn right he had wanted to and if his wolf had had any more control over him Dean would have made the biggest mistake of his entire life. Ashamed he buried his face in his hands trying to hide from the world and especially this wonderful, cursed boy. “It´s alright, pup. You´re not the first one to suffer like this…” Pamela whispered against his temple before she pressed an affectionate kiss to it, “I´m certain Castiel will return your feelings. He needs you.” “Uh huh…” “Not as a lover, of course. What he needs most right now is a friend, a brother. Someone he can follow and learn from. And before you know it he will be all grown up asking you to teach him the more vital things in life.” “And if he finds someone else?” The slap to the back of his head was surprising and totally unexpected…and it stung pretty badly. “Dean Winchester. Pull yourself together, young man! You are a compassionate, loving, caring man in the best age someone can end up in with a special talent in getting things done, may it be re-building our home or persuading almost all un-mated females of our pack. You are a great brother, will be a just leader and one of the best uncles this pack has ever seen. Why would he choose someone else?” “Wait…what did you say about uncle?” ***** The Beast You Made Of Me ***** Chapter Notes Damn guys, you have no idea how glad I am that my grandma doesn´t understand a single English word. Otherwise this would have been seriously embarrassing for me. Btw, you´d do good to remember the tags that said underage and bestiality. There´s gonna be something...okay, a third of this story is badly written smut. At least Harley, my sweet muse, liked it. Hope you do too. And remember: Everything italic is wolfish. See the end of the chapter for more notes Weeks passed, icy winter winds slowly turning into something milder, and Castiel was learning new things each day. It felt like he had found some long lost part of his family. Everywhere he went there was someone asking for his and his help alone, always repaying him with kind faces and sweet words or some delicious cookie. But his most favorite reward for the good deeds done on the day was the warmth of his best friend´s embrace when he let his exhausted body fall onto their bed at night. Of course Castiel was aware that being friends with a man who was fifty years older than his thirty-five years-old body gave away was very unusual, if not entirely uncommon, but he felt no strangeness dampening the joy that had made a home inside his chest. “Most of the adult werewolves are much older than they look. Sammy, Pam and Bobby too.” Dean explained to him while they let the four wine-skins they had brought get filled with the crystal clear river water. The weather had finally been warm enough for the thick ice to meld at least a little and so they were able to re-stock on their water supplies faster than melting snow by themselves. And Castiel had to admit after three months of living inside caves, as spacious as they were, he was more than happy to get out and stretch his legs, even if it was connected with work. “Does any of you know why?” “Nope, that´s one of the great mysteries we still couldn´t find out. Someday someone just decides we´re perfect and snap, you stop growing older. Only thing we know for sure is that our mate´s around the same age. Human, half-breed or werewolf.” “What happens when you choose a human or half-breed. Do they stop aging, too?” Castiel asked curiously, his eagerness to know everything about his new comrades and friends almost making him move onto the older man´s lap. Dean just smiled at him and ruffled through his hair – one of his more favorite ways of dealing with his lack of personal boundaries – instead of eying him suspiciously and stepping away a few inches like he had expected him to the first few times it had happened. “The thing you need to know is that everybody in the pack who has not yet passed the rite of adulthood, including children, outsiders who have left their old pack, people needing more time to fully co-operate with their wolf and the ones being born that way, are seen as half-breeds. When they pass the test and mate with another half-breed or werewolf they automatically turn into one as well because of the shared bond between those two and everything that applies to us applies to them as well.” Dean paused for a second and shifted slightly on the rug he had laid out on the cold stone beneath them. He seemed to feel uncomfortable in his own skin; not being able to sit still for about two days now which could only mean full moon was near. Castiel wondered when he would feel the effects of the moon. After all he was a half-breed himself – one of the few things involving his mother they had told him besides her being a fully acknowledged member of this pack and his father being a human mercenary. But perhaps he was simply too young or to adapt to human behavior to connect with his wolfish nature just now. And Dean and Sam had assured him both that sometimes it could take a while for the change to happen but if he´d watch and study the other members carefully it would occur before he even knew it. “And what about the humans?” Castiel asked over his shoulder while he corked the skins carefully to prevent the almost overflowing water from leaping out. He heard a low groan coming from Dean, the one he could and would never stifle when stretching his muscles with a pleasure that made him look like an over- sized cat. Of course Castiel would never tell him that. “Humans keep aging. However at a very slow pace. We guess once every ten years so the union can be prolonged as much as possible.” when he turned around Dean had already neatly folded the rug and was waiting for Castiel to share half of their haul so they could make their way home and reach it before sunset. Half-way down the road however Dean began scratching every patch of skin on his body he could reach without dropping the rug and skins. He started to growl and whine and unconsciously tear a little at his clothes and after ten more minutes of watching his friend suffer this immensely Castiel stopped in his tracks and waited for the other man to follow his example. But it seemed a short stop outside of the one at the river was not something Dean had planned to include leaving him standing there and feeling royally stupid. “Dean!” he called after him but to no avail. If anything the man seemed to speed up his pace. Castiel could understand him, really. After all Dean had often enough told him how itchy and restless he got when full moon drew near. How his wolf sometimes tried to claw his way out of his skin making him almost mad with the desire to run around and hunt. All the more reason for Castiel to stop him now. Dean´s skin felt feverish under his finger tips and his breath quickened slightly when Castiel rubbed his thumb over the fine hair on his neck. They stared at each other then – a thing they had developed pretty early in their friendship – him with understanding in his eyes and a small smile grazing his lips and Dean with the pain of the whole world clearly written all over his face. “Give me the skins. You´re barely holding yourself together.” Castiel saw him open his mouth; ready to protest and tell him he was capable of reaching home with his dignity still intact, thank you very much. Fortunately Dean didn´t get this far with Castiel´s hand covering his mouth. The defeated growl leaving the other man´s throat sent a strange sensation through his palm. “Fine, you win.” Dean grumbled at last and laid the skins and rug in front of his feet with a growl that did nothing to hide his relief and Castiel couldn´t suppress the broad, victorious grin creeping onto his face even if his life depended on it.   ===============================================================================   “There you are.” Jessica greeted them both with a heart-warming smile though her brows rose curiously when her gaze fell on the wolf beside him. Dean just grumbled and shoved his nose into Castiel´s back a bit too forcefully for his taste. He ignored the sulking werewolf behind him as best as he could and handed her the rug with the water skins letting out an exhausted little sigh. His makeshift sack had been heavier than he thought and Castiel was just glad to finally get rid of the weight and enjoy a warm meal. A wet nose pressed against his neck softly and sniffed at the sheen of sweat slowly starting to dry there. It tickled and when Castiel voiced as much he saw and felt both of the werewolves trying to stifle a laugh; from Dean it sounded more like a pleased growl. “I´m sorry Castiel but you will have to make do with bread and cheese and the left-over meat from lunch.” “Why´s that? Where is everybody?” his breath hitched slightly when a warm tongue lapped at his neck gingerly. He had hoped to God that somebody would be able to tell him what was wrong with Dean, preferably Jessica, Sam or Bobby. And the way her cheeks began to redden when she witnessed the strange act told him she knew something he did not. “Well, it is a full moon tonight as you have probably found out by now.” “But he never acted like this before. Usually it´s…” his body went rigid all of a sudden and the air left his lungs in one long, shattering breath when he felt sharp teeth scrape over his behind and a low whine filled the room with unnatural tension. “Dean!” Jessica hissed heatedly and slapped him across the nose not too gently. That earned her scowling face a deep, vicious growl and Castiel was certain if he hadn´t been standing between them there would have been bloody murder despite her being with child. “Dean, please…” he whispered into the soft, brown fur of the wolf´s right shoulder and it actually seemed to calm his friend to a certain degree. Finally, after a few more moments of silent threats and heated stares Dean huffed again, nudged Castiel´s cheek a last time and left him and Jessica standing in the middle of the storage room. “Perhaps it is better if you stay with the other children for a few days. Werewolves in heat, especially alphas, are very possessive of what they think is their property.” she told him with an apologetic look in her eyes while filling a small plate with bread, dried apples and lots of cheese. “In heat? You mean like mating?” Castiel asked disbelievingly but of course he should have known something like this to happen when spring began knocking on the doors. The dogs that had lived in his old town had been proof enough of such carnal acts. He had just expected Dean to react like this to one of the females of the pack rather than him. “Don´t worry about it too much. Unmated alphas usually react stronger and before all of the betas to maximize their success in finding a potential mate. It is just natural he would turn to you first seeing as you spend a lot of time together and even share the same bed.” her words though meant to reassure and bring back his good mood only washed over Castiel´s head like a mild breeze. “Just a few days?” he almost winced when he heard the deeply-held concern in his own voice but Jessica just smiled at him and pressed the plate into his hands. “He will be as good as new. Embarrassed as hell but back to his normal self.” Castiel nodded slowly in thanks and understanding and left his smiling friend to retreat to the children´s common room. Hoping he would find some peace and a free bed there but knowing his thoughts were probably going to be plagued by his green-eyed friend.   ===============================================================================    It had been two days now full of agony and if he was unfortunate it would be three more without any sign of a final relief. Not physical of course – the furs sticking to his belly kept reminding him how much he had come the last days and nights – but emotional. He needed someone next to his side, he yearned for it. Not just to fuck and part ways afterward like he had done a dozen times prior. He wanted someone to snuggle up to. Someone who would embrace him, stay with him and smother the flames of desire licking at every part of his body and mind with soothing words and kisses. Again he thought of Cas and how amazing he had smelled that day in the storeroom. Sweaty and satisfied and a little musky…only an unfair glimpse of the man he would become soon. He had lost it. It was as simple as that. The smell of that beautiful creature had tempted him, begged him, had practically thrown itself at him and shouted in his face to claim the body attached to it. To show that woman in front of them who Cas really and only belonged to. A whimper escaped his throat unintended when he felt his traitorous friend swell again. After all this time he had become oversensitive and even the slightest rub of the coarse furs felt painful enough to dim the satisfaction and excitement of getting off. He needed something softer than his current choice. Something with more skin, creamy white like milk shining in the moon light. Gentle hands tenderly stroking through his fur and over his belly. Cold in contrast to his heated flesh. Shy when wrapping around him. A stranger to such an arrangement but eager to please without judging. Huff of breaths into his fur on occasion and something stiff pressing into his side moistening and marking him with the undeniable proof of equally strong desire. He needed Cas. Right now. And nobody was going to deny him his mate!   ===============================================================================   Castiel had been right about not being able to sleep. His worry for Dean´s well-being only granted him three hours of restless tossing and turning at best. And the stories about alphas hurting themselves just to feel something else than insatiable lust Becky told him while besting him and Chuck at cards did the exact opposite of calming him. He knew she wasn´t purposely trying to upset his already fragile mind, it was just how she was. However every time the conversation stirred into that direction he would bite his lip hard trying not to imagine the gruesome details she laid out before them. He had asked them the first night why they were going to stay with him and the other, much younger, children instead of merrily frolicking around for they were already mated and therefor considered adults with the urge to breed while mating season. They had smiled at him, Becky´s smile broad and proud while Chuck´s was more shy and coupled with a faint dust of pink on his bearded cheeks, and told him they simply weren´t affected and to be honest not very interested in screwing for five days without pause. He hadn´t doubted Becky for one second but Chuck on the other hand had had the same pained look Dean had given him a few days ago. He refrained from asking the other man why he had never considered talking to his mate; if he wanted to wait for her to be ready, whenever that was going to be, then he respected him for his admirable will power. “What is it going to be?” Castiel looked up from his current project to see Chuck curiously eying the half-finished wooden animal in his lap. He placed the small knife, with which he had tried to carve out a delicate ear, carefully on the table and handed the older male the piece. “I intended to create a sitting wolf but somehow the wood doesn´t wish to comply.” he told him disgruntled while cleaning the carving knife with a cloth. “Looks mighty fine to me.” Chuck commented while turning the wolfish figurine in his hands. Castiel smiled thankfully and slid the knife back into its beautiful embroidered leather sheath. He knew his bearded companion was right, however. Since Dean had given him the small weapon for his birthday a month ago – he´d told him with his usual bold one-sided smile that as long as you were physically aging you had to take advantage of the benefits – Castiel had found his love for carving little figurines rather than his best friend´s intended purpose of learning how to properly fight. Still, even as skilled as he had become with all the practice, Castiel was not the least satisfied with his work. Perhaps he shouldn´t attempt such a task while worrying himself sick. “You´re thinking about Dean again, aren´t you?” Becky´s smile was knowing and her eyes had a predatory glance when they held his own in a heated battle. It looked like she was expecting to discover some deeply hidden secret within Castiel´s gaze making him feel utterly exposed. And that was something he did not need to experience while sitting across the peculiar woman, her quill – made of a raven´s feather, she had told him proudly – and her little red leather-bound book. “Not everyone we meet is going to fit into your oddly romantic way of seeing life, Becky.” Chuck told her with the soft, determined voice of a man who had long ago learned to bear his lover´s quirks and antics with a smile. She returned the sentiment with a loving stroke of an ink-stained finger over the back of his hand and Castiel thought if she ever learned to keep her mouth closed for more than ten minutes they´d be one of the most beautiful couples in this pack. “But you have to admit it would be pretty romantic if Castiel thought of his wolf in shining fur and just a moment later he´d appear right at this doorstep ready to claim the unknowing boy forever and ever as his one and only love.” Despite their better judgment the two men turned their heads to the burgundy curtain behind them when Becky gestured to it with a waving arm. There was nothing, of course. No wolf, no man, not even a small breeze to move the heavy material. Because that was not the way real life worked; Castiel had learned the hard way. And still there was this strange bitter aftertaste when he and Chuck turned back to the table with a sheepish smile and a hearty chuckle. “I´ll admit” he started after a few more moments of trying to fight the flush on his cheeks “the basic concept of what you said holds some appeal but compared to reality the thought is kind of ridiculous. Dean and I are close, yes. I even go so far to say we are best friends. But I do not believe either of us would choose the other one over a…” The stench of sweat and something heavy and heady assaulted his nose mere seconds before a tentative nose was pressing against the back of his head. The whine that followed was too high and out of breath to be anything else than pure desperation and despite the sudden anxiety clinging to him Castiel´s heart ached in sympathy. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Chuck wringing his hands nervously in his lap, his gaze flicking from his own to the wolf behind him and back to Castiel. “You shouldn´t be here. It is prohibited for an unmated wolf to enter the save areas. You know this better than I do.” he was surprised how steady his voice sounded even if it was a little raspy at the edges. The animal just nudged his right shoulder. A sign for Castiel to turn around and acknowledge the plea lying in those deep green eyes which would always shimmer with a golden glimmer when the wolf had taken most of the control. He exhaled shakily and grabbed the leather sheath in his hands tightly enough for it to imprint its form into his palms. Still, he remained strong and instead turned his eyes to Becky, hoping she had some brilliant idea to help him in this misery. “Go with him. He needs you, Castiel.” her voice, for once, sounded serious and compassionate and instead of the usual maniacal edge her smile was soft and understanding. It was untypical of her and perhaps that was the reason holding back his and her mate´s immediate words of protest. He stared at her long and hard, trying to find the hidden agenda in her words. She was going to memorize the moment, Castiel was sure of it. Burning it in her memory so she could write down a twisted version of what really occurred to satisfy her strange needs. Perhaps she was even going to tell Bobby or Sam of Dean´s actions, tagging Chuck along as an eye-witness, and delight in the punishment the alpha was definitely going to receive. Or perhaps she was being a comforting, good friend. Trying to ease Castiel´s burden of refusing his best friend´s plea for his companionship by simply making the only decision his heart and mind could live with. And so he finally smiled at both of his new friends, receiving a broad smile and a tentative grin, and handed Chuck the knife. “We´ll keep a good eye on it. Promise.” he told him and placed it gently next to the little wooden wolf. Castiel wanted to think he meant looking out for his possessions as much as looking out for him. Because when he stepped out into the cool air of the tunnel, the wolf watching him with a mixture of eager impatience and deeply held gratitude, his mind couldn´t convince his body he wasn´t walking into a very dangerous lion´s den.   ===============================================================================   There was a breathless chuckle against his neck and a small hand scratching the sensitive spot behind his left ear. The boy underneath him was enjoying himself right now and why shouldn´t he? They had done this many times before when his human side had to hand over the controls. Him sniffing at every exposed part of Cas to tease and more importantly to imprint every tiny particle of his scent into his memory was familiar, safe ground. A perfect base for him to become bold and start to explore his mate in unknown places. The hand on his neck tensed and pulled at the softer fur there when he licked a wet stripe across a delicate, pale neck. A heartbeat speeding up suddenly and anxiety starting to cloud the alluring ocean smell enveloping him. If he had been a wolf with a human side not strong enough to have the capability of still controlling him from behind their soul barrier he wouldn´t have given a damn and simply taken what was rightfully his. But his human was fond of the boy, would have been even if he hadn´t chosen him as his partner for life, and scaring the one that set your heart and body aflame was more than a little foolish. So he nipped a last time at the soft skin and pulled back with a whine to sit next to the tense boy. Vibrant blue eyes were looking up at him when his gaze settled on the boy´s flushed, embarrassed face. There was a battle clearly visible in those crystalline depths, too many emotions for him to see and smell to distinguish anything. Pearly teeth nibbled at a slightly chapped bottom lip making him wish to be in his human´s body right now so he could kiss some clarity into this beautiful creature. But as it was he stayed frozen to the spot, suppressing every urge to get closer, and tried to dispel any fear swirling around in his mate´s mind. A pale hand reached across the sheets to touch his paw, pale fingers stroking over every knuckle they found then moving upwards on his leg and through the lighter fur of his chest until they found their place in his neck and pressed his head against his mate´s. He couldn´t help but to inhale deeply relishing the combined smell of earth and sea that would have been strange on any other person but was fitting Castiel like nothing else did. “I trust you…” he whispered and the long exhale that followed was nervous and shaky but determined nevertheless. He wanted to respond with something; a head- butt, a huff or just a flick of his tail. His mind however stopped when the sound of popping buttons reached his ears and his eyes were immediately drawn to its source. Inch after inch of creamy, lean skin was revealed to him and his claws began to scratch impatiently at the blankets on their own accord. Cas had to know this wasn´t making anything easier for both of them. That it would really turn him into a mindless beast not caring for anything but his own satisfaction. He pressed his nose to the boy´s hands trying to prevent them from revealing even more of the desired flesh but was simply pushed away again. His superior strength nothing when facing such obvious temptation. Dean was on him the moment the material fell from Castiel´s shoulders. His teeth grazed the sensitive spot just behind the ticklish ear and he felt his own pulse starting to mimic the rapid one underneath his tongue. A pale throat was craning towards him when he moved to lap at an Adam´s apple. The growl sounded vicious and too loud and damn it Cas had to know he was driving him mad. He wanted to bite down hard. Acknowledge this act of submission and lay claim on everything Cas was willing to give him. Instead he dragged his fangs over the exposed throat, not breaking skin but hard enough to leave angry red streaks that would at least take days before fading completely. A thick wave of arousal smacked against Dean´s nose when he went lower and began rubbing his head against the boy´s left nipple; the thickening of his own cock was response enough. He nipped and tugged gently at the hardening flesh until finally Cas couldn´t help himself and started to moan softly into the silence around them. “Dean…” it was embarrassment, nervousness, fear, anticipation, happiness, desire, love…all mingled together into one syllable resembling his name and he wanted to hear it again and again and again until that voice was raw and hoarse. Fabric was tearing under the sudden pull of his teeth and a shocked gasp escaped the boy´s lips. He half expected Castiel to cover himself up with either a blanket or his own hands and cast his eyes sideways shamefully. But when he let his gaze wander over the glorious nakedness of the…the angel before him, over a body that was slowly starting to develop into that of a man, shame was the last thing he detected. Guilt and arousal, a mixture he was all too familiar with, were staring back at him from heavy-lidded eyes. Cas had agreed to this because he intended to help him through his heat. And now he was starting to enjoy himself if the way his hands clenched into the sheets to prevent him from reaching out and more importantly his already leaking cock were any indication. Of course he´d feel like he was betraying Dean because unlike him Castiel had the choice not to be affected by what they were doing. It was stupid but understandable and so he moved away from the part of anatomy that was wholly into their coupling and nudged his mate´s cheeks in a poor mockery of a human´s kiss. “I´m sorry…I shouldn´t be…I don´t know…” jittery hands combed through his fur and settled on trying and failing to envelope his broad frame and get him closer to his little angel. Dean just huffed and moved out of their grasp so he could resettle himself a few inches higher to balance their difference in height. Then he pressed down. Dean was certain the howl he released was audible even in the farthest corner of their lair but after three months of denying himself what he truly desired no one had the slightest right to scold him. Castiel´s own groan of pleasure was muffled against his fur. He could feel human teeth trying to bite down on the scruff of his neck. He didn´t care if it was out of instinct or preference. It was making his blood boil and his cock slick the smooth glide of their lengths even more. With every rub and thrust his knot was starting to swell and Dean realized with a desperate growl he wasn´t going to last long. It should have been embarrassing and somewhere in the back of his human´s mind a small voice was mocking him for his lack of stamina but suddenly there were hands and pressure and a hitch of breath and everything else was not important anymore. It was tight and hot and wet and everything Dean had imagined but so much more. He was thrusting relentlessly into Cas´ hands and every time his knot was in the right position they would squeeze down so deliciously that he could not decide if it was pain or pleasure bringing him closer to the edge. He was using his mate, he knew it, only taking and not giving anything back. He vowed to return the favor with equal fervor when he would have found his release. Double the pleasure, triple the ecstasy, four times the… Dean came with a deafening howl and a violent shiver that wrecked his whole body; painting the boy´s pale chest and lower regions with wave after wave of his seed.   ===============================================================================   When Dean awoke it was slowly with every muscle in his body reminding him what exactly he had been doing the last couple of days. He wouldn´t be able to move properly for another two or three hours but when his gaze fell on the sleeping beauty next to him, curled in the blankets unstained by his last drying remains of passion and lust, Dean considered it more than a fair trade. Castiel´s breathing was even, his posture relaxed and when he moved over the slumbering boy he could detect a faint smile on those smooth features. Soon there´d be stubbly hair starting to force its way out into the open. He would have to teach him how to shave without cutting half of his face like Sam had done the first time. Dean´s thumb got caught on the full, slightly chapped bottom lip stroking it contently at his leisure. He could kiss him now and quell the torturing urge once and for all. But would he really be satisfied with one single touch of lips after everything Cas let him do the last three days? Would he even be able to look his angel into the eyes? Could he act like nothing happened at all? Should he? Everyone in the pack was going to smell him on the boy anyway, so why hide it? For Castiel´s sake? For his own? “You´re thinking too much, Dean.” Cas´ voice was deep and gravelly from sleep and too much moaning and Dean was certain he wouldn´t mind if it never changed back. Cerulean eyes were watching him carefully from beneath the white cloth. Studying his every move with curiosity and he still had his hand lingering on the boy´s cheek. “You´re the first to say this.” he told him with a smile and renewed his caress on Castiel´s cheek. “I owe you big for what you did.” He was pulled in and under the covers and a warm body immediately snuggled against him; raven hair resting on his shoulder and nimble fingers drawing patterns on his stomach. “You saved my life, you took me in, you became my friend and now you trusted me enough to show me how vulnerable you can be. I think we are quite even.” Castiel´s lips whispered against his throat, warm breath gusting comfortably over his heated skin. He was surprised to feel the faint stirrings of arousal pool low in abdomen, didn´t think it possible after so many mind-blowing orgasms. It seemed like his little angel was doing something to his exhausted body that Dean couldn´t begin to grasp even with the knowledge of his father and father´s-father. “A bath would be good then. We don´t want to reek like well…animals…when we have to face the others, do we?” there was a low rumble next to his ear followed by a tightening of pale arms around his torso. “Just five more minutes…” “Hah, that´s my boy!” Chapter End Notes Yes, this is the end. But fret not, there will be more. Just take this as an introduction. There´s gonna be a lot more, promise. See you all again in "Summer´s Sigh" Until then: Thank you all for reading and commenting and kudos-ing. 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