Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3126821.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      DaveKat, Kardave_-_Relationship, Dave_Strider/Karkat_Vantas
  Character:
      Dave_Strider, Karkat_Vantas
  Additional Tags:
      Awkward_First_Times, First_Time, Xeno, Troll_Genitalia, xeno_dongs,
      Sexual_Confusion, Quadrant_Confusion, Genitalia_confusion, ????_-
      Freeform, Is_that_a_thing, Nerds_banging, Dave_rambling
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-01-06 Updated: 2015-04-13 Chapters: 2/? Words: 1297
****** Wiener Town ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     "Oh dude. Are we heading into wiener town because lemme tell you, I
     am the motherfucking mayor of wiener town.”
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
“Is this seriously happening. Oh dude. Are we heading into wiener town because
lemme tell you, I am the motherfucking mayor of wiener town.”
“Dave,”
“Gonna jump in here and wave all the ladies down, speech ‘em up, yo,”
“Dave,”
“Ain’t nobody gonna have a question about who runs this joint. ‘Shit dude. Dave
Strider fuckin’ owns that dick. Didn’t you hear? He’s the motherfuckin’ mayor
of-“
“DAVE!”
“…”
Dazzling red eyes flicked upwards to meet yours, making you glance away with a
cringe. You could never take that piercing gaze, you were too used to the blank
stare of black shades, but knowing he was actually looking at you was the most
intense thing you had ever experienced in your entire life.
“Looks like somebody’s got a stick up their ass,” You groan, and not in the
sexy way either, you were just fucking annoyed by now. “Contrary to popular
belief, Strider, I have enough sense and of a pan not to put anything near
quote, “where the sun don’t sh-,” “Aw dude really. Are you pitching here
because I’m not sure if I’m ready for a dong up my ass. Shit looks intense,” He
interrupted you. He always interrupts you.
“Dave. I am five words away from getting up and walking home with my bulge out
just to spite you.” You challenge, raising a thick brow and crossing your arms
over your chest. It was an empty threat, and he knew that, but it was worth a
shot.
“What if those words are ‘Hey there sexy alien babe’”
“Not helping,”
“Damn,”
You couldn’t believe this was the idiot you fell in flush for. Of all people on
this stupid meteor, this was the guy you ended up pailing with? You’d always
had rotten luck, but this just took the grub loaf.
The two of you were on his platform, crinkling his stupid red record sheets and
making out like no tomorrow. Well, until someone decided to have a fit when
your hands ducked a little low. His hair is mussed a bit, and yours is probably
a huge mess from how much Dave has been pulling it, but you tried not to think
about that. All you wanted to focus on was him. His features, his eyes, his
lips. You wanted to kiss and caress every inch of his disgustingly delicate and
awfully perfect skin. You wanted to ruin him, you wanted to pamper him…
Okay, you were beginning to sound waaay too sappy, even for you, which was
saying something. ¬
You sat up, (a bit difficult considering you were straddling his waist) and put
your hands on either of his shoulders, forcing yourself to meet eyes with him.
“Get real for a second Strider.”
The blond boy in front of you almost drops the cool guy façade for a moment,
glancing down and nibbling his lower lip slightly. It was at least refreshing
to know you weren’t the only one here who was nervous.
“…”
There was a long pause. Dave looked at you. You looked at him.
“So we are going to wiener town?”
What you do next is not exactly your smartest move. You growl in frustration, a
low reverberating tone in the back of your throat, before you shoved the boy
down on the bed, “Dave I’m not kidding!” you half-shouted, teeth grit.
He looks up at your, eyes wide, terrified, and you instantly soften. Humans
don’t do the weird troll hate thing. You kept forgetting that. You didn’t want
to scare Dave, in fact that was the exact opposite of the goal you had in mind-
He tugs you down by the collar of you long-sleeved t-shirt suddenly, as if he
was about to strangle you and the mere thought of something so hateful is so
overwhelming, that your entire body freezes up at his next move. His lips force
themselves against yours, but in a gentle kneading; nothing like a black kiss.
It was so delicate, borderline pale, but Dave could pull it off. You shuddered,
melting slightly into the kiss.
You were going to bang a human.
***** boop *****
Chapter Summary
     another short update haha
Your lips nearly curl into a giddy grin when you kiss him back, half-surprised
he even considered continuing this after the stunt you pulled. You can feel his
weird pink lips crook up slight into a smile, before it quickly faded as he
focused back to the kiss. Then there was a tongue in your mouth. Well hello
there.
A low purr echoes in the back of your throat, and you instantly regret letting
that slip, because Dave is pulling away, his signature asshole-ish chuckle
practically singeing your pointed ears. You grit your teeth, pulling away to
glare down at him.
“Jesus fucking Christ. What is it now?” You try to sound angry, and your tone
is about halfway there, but not quite. You were just a bit too turned on to
control your voice properly.
“I’m sorry Karks, but damn, it just never gets old.” He flashes you an
innocent, toothy grin, and you hiss.
“Fuck you. I can’t control that and you know it,” That was a lie, but hey, he
didn’t need to know just yet did he? “Now please, for love of mother grub’s
swollen sphincter, let’s just get on with it.”
He makes a face then, and sticks out his tongue. “Okay, sick dude. Totally
killed my boner. Fat bug vaginas ain’t exactly a turn-on for me,” This time
it’s his turn to cross his arms, and he raises a skeptical brow at you. You
face palm.
“You know, you were the one who suggested we actually do this,”
“Well yeah. Your boner was jabbing my thigh, what else was I supposed to do?”
“My what?” You know exactly what he means, and you flush furiously. It wasn’t
your fault Dave was so good at kissing. And hot. And…
“Don’t tell me I gotta explain the birds and the bees to you,” He smirks
slightly, and before you can reply, banters on. “When a guy and a gal love each
other very much, sometimes that bro will put his foot long in her hanky—…”
You decided that was the last straw. Resorting to a last-ditch plan to get this
thing rolling, you had canted your hips forward, grinding down lightly against
his, and causing a slight purr to escape you. He glances up at you, shocked,
and doesn’t say a word. Still frowning, you muster: “Shut up,”
The two simple words send a shudder down his spine, and for a moment, he
glances away, unable to meet your gaze. That surprises the hell out of you. Did
you seriously just best the great Strider? You’d never been able to get him
quiet with just those words, but now?
You supposed the obvious lump in his pants had something to do with it, but you
liked to think other wise.
You offered a smile, and reached down carefully brushing some hair from his
eyes. “Can we just do this, Strider? You’re making this pretty hard,” He opens
his mouth to speak, and you shush him, “Pun not intended,” you add coldly.
After a moment, he slowly nods, and leans up to catch your lips with his own,
and once again, you were at his mercy. There was just something about those
ridiculously soft muscles that set you up a wall. That smooth, disgustingly
squishy tongue of his pressed up against your thin sand-paper-esque one made
you go insane, and no matter what you had been doing at the time, you always
stopped to enjoy that contact for even a moment or two. You weren’t sure If he
knew just yet, but you needed him. Despite how ridiculously annoying this idiot
could be, you craved that son of a bitch.
End Notes
     i know this cuts off badly but im sleepy and i wanted to at least
     finish part of this :C hope you guys enjoy!
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