Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11435457.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, No_Archive_Warnings_Apply, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester, Hannah/Dean_Winchester
  Character:
      Castiel, Chuck_Shurley, Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, Gabriel_
      (Supernatural), Ralpheal, Naomi_(Supernatural), John_Winchester, Gadreel_
      (Supernatural), Bartholemew, Hannah_(Supernatural)
  Additional Tags:
      Highschool_AU, Chuck_is_Castiel_and_Gabriels_dad, John_Winchester_is
      abusive, Castiel_and_Dean_are_musicians, Dean_plays_guitar_really_well,
      Castiel_is_a_prodigy, Gabriel_Being_Gabriel, Castiel_and_Dean_Winchester
      are_Dorks, Castiel_likes_bees, lots_of_flashbacks, Fluff_and_Angst,
      Unrequited_Love, Unresolved_Sexual_Tension, First_Time_Sex, Fluff_and
      Humor, Sad_Castiel
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-08 Chapters: 3/? Words: 4581
****** Who We Are ******
by CassieWinchester
Summary
     This is obviously kind of a highschool AU where Castiel and Dean fall
     in love despite really not understanding there feelings fully. It
     starts with Castiel coming home for Christmas after moving to get
     away from Dean, who had rejected his feelings for him. It follows his
     story and a lot of it is him reflecting on the younger years and the
     time that he and dean did have together.
Notes
     This work is actually quite personal to me because it's based off of
     past events in my own life, and is a bit hard to write sometimes, so
     if it never gets updated I'm so sorry; forgive me! But I at least
     wanted to share it since I've worked so hard on it, so here ya go.
***** The Boy with the Freckles *****
Chapter 1: The Boy with The Freckles
Castiel turned the radio down in his car that had been blasting Christian Rock
music for almost 2 hours straight. He reached up to his face to adjust his
glasses before realizing that they weren’t there. He chuckled softly; it had
only been a few days since he had gotten contacts and he still wasn’t used to
it. He had been driving all day to get back to his home town; the town where he
was born and raised; but it had been proving difficult as a surprise snow storm
had blown in and he had totally forgotten how to drive in snow, living in
southern California for almost two years now. He wasn’t sure what had possessed
him to come back, to tell his dad he would be coming home for Christmas this
year when the last two years he had refused. He had sworn after all that he
would never set foot in the town again after he had moved to California. The
town was where some of his happiest memories had taken place…and also some of
the worst.
As the landscape became more and more recognizable, the tall, snow capped peaks
of the Rocky Mountains looming above him, his thoughts deepened. He wondered if
Dean still lived where he had when he had left. What he was doing with his life
these days. He was probably happily married with a family by now. Sometimes he
wondered how things would’ve turned out differently had he not been in Math
class all those years ago. If he had sat in the back and not the front, would
he have ever talked to Dean? Would he have become the same person he was today
if he had never met him?
No; it was because of Dean he was who he was now. Dean had played a huge role
in making the very fabric of his being; he had become a part of his whole self,
which is probably why ever since they had parted ways Castiel couldn’t seem to
function properly. As he got closer and closer to his destination his mind
wandered to where he had not allowed it to go for a long time; back to that day
when he had first seen the boy with the freckles…
***
It was the first day of 7th grade and it was all Cas could do not to run home
and hide under his covers all day. He had moved up a grade, so now he was in
middle school; in a different building. It was so much bigger, with so many new
faces it almost made him sick to his stomach. He was just grateful that he
still had his two best friends he had had back at the old school. His dad,
Chuck, dropped him and his older brother, Gabriel off at the curb, telling them
to have a good day and that he loved them.
“Don’t worry dad, I’ll take good care of the lil buzzer.” Gabe said, ruffling
Cas’s dark brown, feathery soft hair.

“Hey, I told you not to call me that anymore, especially not at school!” Cas
exclaimed angrily, trying to smooth his hair and pushing his glasses back up on
his nose. Gabe was four years older than him, with light brown hair and was the
total opposite of Cas. Though a little short, he was athletically toned and
very popular with the ladies. He had spent their younger years doing about what
you would expect an older brother to do, torment his younger brother.

As for the nickname of the ‘lil buzzer’, Gabe had been calling him that as far
back as Cas could remember. Castiel had always loved bees, and when he had been
only a toddler he had somehow managed to catch a bunch of bees in a jar and
took them inside. (they still didn’t know how he caught all of them without
getting stung). Taking them into his and Gabe’s room, he had then decided he
felt bad for putting them in a jar, and had let them go. There were at least
ten bees in the jar. You can imagine the chaos that had followed. 3 stings and
a lot running around as Chuck and Gabe had tried to get them out of the house
later, Cas sat on his dads lap, sobbing, as he treated his stings. Chuck had
gently scolded him saying “let this be a lesson not to go near any more bees
ok?” But after listening to his mutterings in between sobs Chuck had realized
he wasn’t crying because he was in pain. He was crying because he was upset his
dad had killed most of the bees.

Now he gripped his backpack straps nervously and faced this new world;
determined to conquer or die trying. Gabe, who was on strict order to help Cas
find all his classes, got as far as Cas’s locker before getting pounced on by a
tall skinny girl in a cheerleading uniform.
“GABE I MISSED YOU SOOO MUCH!” She squealed in delight.

“Oh Megan, I missed you to babe!” Gabe responded. The girl stopped and looked
at him, frowning.

“It”s….Rachel.”

Gabe snorted. “Well of COURSE it is; I was just joshin ya.”

Rachels frown slowly turned back into a smile, and she let out the highest
pitched shrill laugh you’ve ever heard. “Oh, you’re so funny!” Then she leaned
in close to his ear, giggling as she whispered something Cas guessed was
extremely inappropriate.

“Well, there is still fifteen minutes before the bell rings.” He responded.
 
“Gabe, what about helping me find my class!?” Cas called as they started to
walk away down the hall.

“Aw, you found your locker just fine, didn’t ya? You’ll be ok. Bu bye lil
buzzer; have fun!” Castiel watched them disappear through the sea of heads,
furiously trying to remember where his first class was. Just then he heard a
familiar voice call out his name, and turned to see his two best friends making
their way through the crowd to meet him.

“Ralphie, Naomi, hi!” He said, breathing a sigh of relief. Ralphie’s full name
was Raphael, but everyone just called him Ralphie. He was a dark skinned
average looking guy. He was usually pretty laid back; pretty quiet. Naomi had
brown eyes and long brunette straight hair that she always kept pulled up, and
was a little bit of a neat freak. They were kind of an odd group of friends,
but Cas didn’t mind.
“Hey guys! What do your schedules look like?” He asked as they approached. They
all compared schedules to find out that they had a fair amount that was the
same; except for Ralphie’s choir class and Cas’s orchestra. Chuck, worried that
his son didn’t really participate in extracurricular activities very often had
asked him if he wanted to play an instrument a year ago. He mainly had agreed
to it so his dad would get off his case. When asked which instrument he wanted
to play, he had decided on the viola. He had never heard of it before and it
kind of sounded like him he had thought; odd and out of place. The awkward
instrument no one really thinks about; plus he was not about to drag a cello
around everywhere, and the violin was way too squeaky for his liking. He had
actually grown quite fond of the little instrument.

“Oh wait.” Naomi spoke up. “Looks like me and Ralphie have a different math
class than you Cas.”

“What?” Cas exclaimed, looking a little crestfallen. Not that he was
particularly bad at math, but he had learned in the past that Naomi was a great
help in that area, and had come to count on her help. Just then the first bell
rang, so they all headed to P.E, the one class they all had together. Naomi had
the whole school pretty much memorized, so Cas didn’t have a hard time finding
his classes after all.

“Punctuality is everything. Heaven forbid you ever be late for a class
Castiel!” She had said when he had asked her to help with the rest of his
schedule as well.

He got through P.E, science, lunch, orchestra and English ok; all in all he
thought the day was going fairly well for a first day at a new school. He had a
bit of trouble finding his last class, Math, owing to the fact that he couldn’t
just follow Ralphie or Naomi. He got there just before the bell rang. He stood
in the doorway, nervously clutching his binder to his chest and yet again
adjusted his glasses on his nose.

Someone bumped into him coming into the room and he muttered an apology, not
bothering to look and see who it was. Unfortunately most of the seats had
already been taken. There was one seat left in the very back row and he was
about to head for it, when he recognized three boys sitting right next to it.
Gadreel, Bartholomew, and Luke; all bullies from Elementary school. He
definitely wasn’t going to sit back there.

He hurried to the front of the room before they could notice him, found an
empty spot on the front row in the middle, and sat in it, not looking up from
his binder. He hated being in the front, but it was better than sitting by the
three in the back. That was like asking to get tormented.

The class began and the teacher, Mrs. Duran, started going over the syllabus
just like all the classes he had been to that day. Quite quickly he became
aware of the boy sitting to his left. Mainly because he could’ve felt the boy
glaring at him from a mile away. Cas slowly turned to look at him, wondering
what in the world this boys problem was. Impossibly bright candy apple green
eyes were looking back at him. Cas didn’t know eyes could be so green. The boy
had light brown hair, and freckles dotted his nose and cheeks. Cas looked at
him questioningly, silently asking “why are you glaring at me?” The boy just
looked away with a small hmph, pouting.
“Ok”. Cas thought; wondering what that was all about.
***** Music Makes Good Friends *****
Chapter Summary
     Dean walks into the orchestra room after school while Cass is playing
     the piano. They become friends. :)
Chapter Notes
     This one has my favorite scene I've written so far!
After that icy first meeting they were assigned seats and they ended up on
opposite sides of the classroom; so Cass was spared another awkward
confrontation with the green eyed boy. As scary as 7th grade had seemed at
first, it quickly became easier with the help of his two friends. It didn’t
take him long to notice that the boy had his first class, P.E, with him as
well.

“There he is; that’s the boy I told you guys about.” Him, Naomi and Ralphie
were in P.E, doing stretches and getting ready to do their running for the day.

“The one that hates you for no reason?” Ralphie asked. Cass nodded.

“Naomi, do you know anything about him?” Cass asked, stretching as far down as
he could to touch his toes. He knew if anyone would know about him, it would be
her. In addition to her obsession with being the perfect student she also was
very nosy and had a great deal of dirt on half the people she knew.

“Oh him? That’s dean; Dean Winchester if I remember correctly.” Naomi
responded, stretching one arm across the back of her head, making her messy bun
stick out at an odd angle.

“Dean Winchester?” Cass replied, trying out the name.

“Yea; I think he just moved here with his dad and little brother a few months
ago.”

“Huh.” Cass replied thoughtfully. The teacher blew the whistle and they started
to run. Cass tried to ignore the urge to watch Dean, but he couldn’t stop
himself from glancing at him every minute or so. It was almost like there was
an invisible something trying to pull him towards the guy, and he didn’t get
it. He couldn’t really see any reason why he should attempt to be friends with
him; he had made it very clear he didn’t like him at all the first time they
met, why would he want to be his friend? Still he couldn’t shake the feeling
that he needed to at least talk to him.

***
“Cass; Cass are you even listening to me?”

“Ow!” Cass was jerked out of his thoughts when Ralphie poked him on the side of
the head, hard enough for it to hurt. “Ralphie!” He exclaimed in annoyance,,
rubbing the side of his head.

Ralphie smirked. “Sorry, you were just so out of it, I couldn’t resist.”

Naomi looked put out, her brown eyes narrowed. “You didn’t hear a word I just
said, did you?” Cass felt his cheeks go pink.

“No, sorry.” He admitted. He had noticed when they sat down for lunch that Dean
was sitting at the same table as they were. On the opposite end, but still on
the same table. He was wearing a dark orange plaid shirt with a black leather
jacket over it, his dirty blonde hair a little spiked at the front like always.
Cas noted that he wore a lot of plaid. He was sitting with one other boy, who
had a greek fishermans hat on. He looked familiar but Cass couldn’t quite place
where he had seen him before. As he stared, Dean’s gaze suddenly turned and
they made eye contact. Cass quickly looked down at his tater tots, his cheeks
burning; embarrassed that he had been caught staring.

“You watching that Winchester kid again?” Ralphie spoke up, interrupting
Naomi’s blabber that Cass had failed to listen to again.

“Whosaid I was watching him?” Cass replied a little to quickly.
 
“No one, but I do have eyes.” Ralphie replied with a smirk. “You that bugged
that he glared at you?”

“Well no….yes…” Cass trailed off, not being able to find a proper excuse as to
why he had practically been stalking Dean for the last week or so. The first
warning bell rang and Naomi sighed in annoyance.

“If you guys are going to just ignore me, I’ll be going. I don’t want to be
late for class.”

“Sorry Naomi, we’re coming.” Ralphie responded, getting up.

“Saved by the bell.” Castiel thought in relief, following. He couldn’t give a
good excuse because he had no idea why he was so enthralled with the boy
himself. As he got up he glanced back one last time to find Dean looking
directly at him. As their eyes met Dean looked away just as soon as he had
looked, turning his attention back to the boy sitting opposite him. Cass let
out a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding, following after his friends,
thinking hard.

***

Castiel sat in the orchestra room all alone, putting his viola away in its
case. He had stayed after with a couple of his classmates to practice a quartet
piece they were working on for the upcoming performance and he wouldn’t get
picked up for another half an hour when his dad got off work. He zipped the
case shut and pulled on his green jacket, startled when his first thought was
that the color was almost identical to Dean’s eyes.

He sighed and closed his eyes, taking in the smell of stale rosin and stained
wood from the instruments around him. Half an hour; he could work on his math
homework, like he was supposed to, or…he glanced at the upright piano in the
corner of the room. Deciding that he could do his homework later, he walked
over and sat at the piano, running his hands over the cool keys. He had taken
piano lessons ever since he was 7 years old, but had stopped for awhile after
picking up the viola. He loved playing the viola, but there was something
special about the piano and he knew it would always be his favorite.

Closing his eyes he started playing one of his favorite pieces, Cristifori’s
Dream, not thinking much about it and getting lost immediately in the music.
The comforting feeling of the smooth keys beneath his fingertips, the
satisfying tingle in his hands as they moved over the keyboard in chords and
arpeggios. He soaked in the rise and fall of the music, matching his breathing
to it. He was in a whole different world; a world where he was free, no
limitations whatsoever. It was times like these where he would almost feel like
he was flying, and it was his favorite feeling in the world.

He thought his heart had stopped when there was a huge crash behind him,
wrenching him from his reverie, and making him jump up in surprise, slamming
the keyboard and knocking over the piano bench. He spun around, his blue eyes
wide with panic. There was Dean Winchester, sprawled out on the floor under a
bunch of cello cases. Cass gasped in horror, running over and pulling the cases
off of him.

“It’s ok, don’t be alarmed, I’m alright.” Dean was saying, but Cass ignored
him; it wasn’t him he was worried about. He checked to make sure that each of
the cellos was unharmed before finally turning his attention to Dean.

“Be careful, you know you could’ve done a lot of damage to these, don’t you? Do
you know how much these instruments cost?” He was too angry to wonder why Dean
had been in the room in the first place.

Dean stared at him; he looked shocked and a little confused, his green eyes
wide. “Uh…aren’t you gonna ask of I’m ok?” He finally asked.

Cass gave him a once over. “Do I need to? You look fine to me.” Maybe it was
just his imagination, but he thought he saw Dean’s cheeks flush a little. He
noted he was in shorts and a t-shirt that was half soaked with sweat. He must
have been playing basketball in the gym or something. Not really knowing what
else to do, Cass started walking back to the piano to pick up the bench, but
Dean beat him to it.

“Sorry I scared you.” He mumbled. Cass didn’t respond. “So, what were you
playing? It was really good.”

It took Cass a minute to remember what he had been playing before Dean had
interrupted. “Uh…it’s called Cristifori’s Dream, by David Lanz.”

Dean made an approving noise as he plucked absently at the piano keys. “I play
guitar myself you know.”

Cass had been trying to hold back the question ever since they had started
talking, but it slipped out. “Why did you glare at me?” It came out rushed and
he regretted it right after saying it. Dean probably didn’t even remember, it
had been about a month ago after all. To his surprise Dean didn’t look
confused, he just looked sheepish.

“Yea, sorry bout that. I was saving that seat for my friend Benny, then you
took it instead and I just got really mad…” he trailed off, still plucking at
the keys.

That was the reason? That was why he had been annoyed for almost a month?
Castiel suddenly knew why the boy sitting opposite of Dean at lunch had looked
familiar. He was also in Mrs. Durans Math class. “Oh.” Was all he got out.
There was an awkward silence.

Dean cleared his throat. “So what’s your name?”

“Castiel; most people just call me Cass though.”

“Castiel? Isn’t that the name of the angel of Thursday or something?” Dean
replied.

“Y-yea; not many people know that. Usually people just tell me it’s a weird
name.” Castiel responded in surprise.

“Well, weird is kinda my thing.” He then got a nervous look on his face, like
he had said something really wrong. “I mean…my name’s Dean.”

“I know.” Cass said before he could stop himself. “I –I mean…hello dean.” He
sighed, wanting to bury his head in the ground for shame; why couldn’t he think
right?

Dean just gave him a small smile. “Hiya Cass.”

Just then Cass’s phone started ringing. He answered it. “Hey dad; I’ll be right
out.” He grabbed his backpack and viola case. “I gotta go; try not to trash any
instruments on your way out, k?” He said with a smirk.

“Hey, maybe sometime we could hang out; I could play the guitar and you could
play the piano…if..you know, you wanna.”

“Sure, Bye Dean.” Cass threw over his shoulder as he ran out the door. That had
to have been one of the most awkward conversations he had ever had, and yet for
some reason it seemed right. He usually never joked like that with anyone other
than his closest friends and family, and yet it had come so easy talking to
Dean. And he had known exactly what he was talking about when he had asked
about the first time they’d met. Did that mean he had been thinking of him as
well? And he had agreed to hang out with him without giving it much thought. He
couldn’t remember the last time he had hung out with anyone other than Naomi or
Ralphie, and the thought of making a new friend made him a bit nervous.

He climbed into the back of his dads’ jeep, absently replying to Chuck’s
greetings. He stared out the window, deep in thought and wondering what was
going to happen next.
***** A Surprise *****
Chapter Summary
     More fun fluffy music scenes!
Cass was watching Dean with wide blue eyes, almost not daring to breathe for
fear he would miss something. It was the next day, and they were back in the
orchestra room after school. Dean had brought his guitar this time and was
playing his favorite song. Rain pounded violently against the windows, making a
constant sort of roar in the background. Every now and then a white flash would
light up the already bright room, followed by a clap of thunder; making Cass
jump against his will. Everytime that happened, Dean would glance up from his
guitar with a little smirk, silently laughing at Cass’s jumpyness. Cass
couldn’t believe how well Dean could play and he couldn’t get enough of it. He
watched Deans fingers carefully as they moved with utter ease across the
strings. And holy crap, could this guy sing! His voice was rough, yet soothing;
loud, yet soft somehow as he sang the lyrics to Hey Jude by The Beatles.
Cass closed his eyes to try to soak it up more, letting the music fill him up.
All to soon it was over.

“Well, that’s about all I got. I’m still just teaching myself.” Dean said with
a small, almost embarresed smile. Cass smiled, still trying to pull himself out
of the world of the music.

“Shit, was it that bad?”

“No, it was wonderful.” Cass said when he finally found his voice.

“Yea, whatever; you’re totally better.”

Cass looked at him with a confused tilt of his head. “But I can’t even play the
guitar.”

“I meant on the piano you airhead.” Dean laughed. Another flash of lightning
lit up the room, the crash of the thunder following almost immediately after
and startling him yet again.

“why are you such a scardy cat?” Dean teased, moving to put his guitar away,
but Cass took it from him before he could.

“I’m not scared, I get a little startled is all, it’s a natural reaction.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself.”

Cass shot a glare at him, then started fiddling with the guitar curiously.
“I’ve never actually tried to play one of these.” He said plucking at the
strings until he found the sound that most resembled what Dean had been
playing. Slowly he started to play, closing his eyes and feeling his way around
the memory of Deans fingers. After a minute he stopped. “That was fun, but it
sure hurts your fingers more than the viola.” Only then did he notice that Dean
was staring at him, his mouth slightly agape.

“What?” Cass exclaimed in alarm. “Is there something on my face?’

Dean shook his head. “You sure you never played the guitar before?” Cass shook
his head. “You do realize you practically played Hey Jude just in a different
key, right?”

“Oh, yea; I guess.” Cass replied. “I’ve always picked up on instruments fast.”
He shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal.
Dean shook his head again. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re for real.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cass asked, a little hurt.

“Dude chill, it was a complement.” Just then Cass’s phone rang. It was Chuck.

“time to go.” Cass said, handing the guitar back to Dean.

“Alright, see ya.” Dean said.

Cass gathered up his stuff and went to leave, when something dawned on him.
“Hey, how come you’re always here so late? What time does your parents pick you
up?”

“well, it’s just me, my dad and my baby brother and my dad…he’s to busy to pick
me up. I just walk home.”

Castiel raised one eyebrow. “You’re going to walk home in this weather?”

Dean shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

This time it was Castiels turn to shake his head.  “C’mon, I’m sure my dad
wouldn’t mind giving you a ride home.”

“Oh uh…thanks but I’m good.”

“Stop it and just c’mon. Besides if you walk home, your guitar might get wet;
and if that happened I don’t think I could live with myself.”
Looking like he’d like to protest but didn’t really know what to say, Dean
followed. Even though they ran as fast as they could, they were both still
pretty much soaked when they reached the jeep.

“Hey dad, my friend Dean needs a rigde hom, can we give him one?” Cass asked as
they climbed into the backseat.

“Sure, the more the merrier!” Chuck exclaimed.

Dean nodded. “Thanks.”

Of course Chuck berated Dean with questions as they drove. Dean did his best to
answer them, although Cass thought he seemed a little nervous the whole way. He
wondered why. Chuck wasn’t exactly intimidating, after all. He noted how far
away Deans house was from the school and decided that this would have to become
a regular thing. They finally pulled up to a beaten up little trailer house.
“Are you sure this is it?” Cass asked a little doubtful. The play looked like
it was falling apart, more like it belonged in a junkyard than serving as a
home.

“Yea, thanks, bye.” Dean muttered hastily, practically jumping out and running
to the door. They pulled away, Castiel deep in thought.

“He seems like a nice boy; I’m glad you’re making new friends Cass; truth be
told I was getting a little worried about you.”

Cass hummed in response, still thinking. So Deans family was really poor.
That’s probably why he had been so nervous. He probably hadn’t wanted him to
see where he lived because he was embarrassed. He’d have to make sure to let
him know on Monday that he doesn’t care about that stuff. That he still wanted
to be his friend. He thought of how he had carelessly asked “are you sure this
is it?” He wasn’t prepared for the heavy feeling in his stomach when he
realized how mean that had probably sounded. Would Dean even want to still be
friends? He sure hoped so.
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