Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/930273.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Armin_Arlert/Reiner_Braun, Armin_Arlert/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Armin_Arlert, Reiner_Braun, Eren_Yeager
  Additional Tags:
      Dubious_Consent, Accidental_Voyeurism, Anal_Sex, Explicit_Language,
      Angst, Kink_Meme
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-08-17 Words: 7967
****** When You're Among Wolves ******
by Raevell
Summary
     Armin had the chance to take advantage of the situation, he just
     needed to give Reiner what he wanted and hope that Eren would
     understand the necessity of it. He was doing it for him, after all.
Notes
     Spoilers for the manga, takes place after chapter 47 and largely
     ignores chapter 48 mostly because the way it ended would have
     required me putting in details that wouldn’t have added anything to
     this story.
Armin’s brain still hadn’t settled since he felt like it had been rattled
around in his skull. He might have suffered from whiplash, he considered, like
their superiors often warned about during 3DMG training if you didn’t keep your
form right. But the origin of his discomfort was not due his own carelessness,
but rather the giant hand, twice his size, that had snatched him out of the
air.
What had been happening? He was still trying to recall, but again, his brain
was dislodged, or at least it seemed like it, his head was pulsating with a
dull ache and his ears felt blocked as though he had his head held under water
for too long.
“Reiner, you sure this is a safe place?” Ymir’s voice sounded miles from where
he was, but as Armin opened his eyes, he could make out her form only a few
feet away, standing next to Christa. Both of them appeared to him like a
painting that had been left out in the rain, colors muddied and smeared.
“No place is safe, Ymir. Bertholdt, put Eren down over there. Check to make
sure his bindings are still tight.”
Where were they, was the next question Armin asked himself. He craned his neck
a bit, trying to search the area without moving too much and the blurred
outlines around everything started to diminish. A house, a cottage? Old and
worn down, unoccupied for years probably if the state of disarray was any
indication. It was also incredibly dark, meaning that the sun must have been
down, which meant they must have been traveling all day.
His feet weren’t on the ground, but he wasn’t on the floor either. That
realization came to him next. Turning his head to the right, Armin found
himself looking up Reiner, the larger boys arms hooked around his shoulders and
legs, carrying him as though he were a child or a bride—
That thought made everything in his mind go frantic and once sluggish thoughts
raced. Armin twisted his body as much as he could, trying to escape his hold,
and the struggle was enough to knock Reiner’s balance off because he started to
fall over as well.
"W-whoa! Armin, it's okay!" as though anything that came from him would sound
reassuring now.
He must have been weak. Who knew how long he had being in his titan form. With
the thought that escape was possible-it wouldn’t have been had Reiner been at
his full strength-Armin planted his hands against Reiner’s face and pushed as
much as he could. He got what he wanted this way, rolling right out of Reiner’s
arms and landing on the floor. It was only a few feet as Reiner had expected it
and tried to lower him before he dropped, but to Armin it felt like he had
fallen out of the sky, the impact reminding him of every muscle and bone in his
body with pain.
“Armin!” he felt Christa’s hand on his shoulder, a delicate touch and the
concern clear in her voice. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” he answered quickly.
His muscles felt stiff and resistant to every move he tried to make, but he
would live. He pushed himself up before the girl could try to help him and
wobbled on his feet before finding his balance. His thoughts all orbited around
one person only. He looked over to the corner of the room where Bertholdt stood
with an unconscious Eren on the floor, his back propped up against the wall.
His arms were tied back, though it seemed pointless given how it appeared one
of them had dismembered his hands again, leaving only the curved shapes of his
arms behind, steaming slowly as his body tried to regenerate them.
“Eren!” Armin gasped, rushing over to him.
But Bertholdt sidestepped to block his path. His expression was difficult to
read to most, but Armin knew better. He was looking at him with tightly closed
lips, with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth and deep breaths through
his nose. He didn’t know what to do, he was waiting for an order, or at least a
confirmation that he was doing the right thing by keeping Armin away from Eren.
Armin turned his head to look over at the one he knew was in charge right then;
Reiner. He narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth and although he said nothing,
the look on his face was communication enough. I dare you to tell him I can’t
go near my best friend, something along those lines.
“It’s fine, Bertholdt,” Reiner said after a moment of Armin’s gaze on him.
Just like that, Bertholdt moved out of his way. Armin kneeled down at Eren’s
side and reached for the rag wrapped around his mouth, fighting with the knot
at the back of his head for a bit before he was able to remove it. He told
himself over and over he was okay, but he wasn’t truly able to accept his own
reassurances until he pressed his fingers against the side of Eren’s neck and
he felt the tremor of his pulse.
For that moment, as he watched Eren’s face, as he reached up to brush the hair
back that had fallen against his closed eyes, he heard nothing of what was
going on around him. He was with Eren again, Eren was okay. Armin would find a
way out of this and he would bring Eren back to Mikasa, they would all be
together again, and everything would be right, at least for a little while.
“It’ll be okay,” Armin vowed it to Eren, to himself as well. His hand rested
against Eren’s face and his thumb brushed over the faint ridges of skin beneath
his eyes-a sign of his condition, how his body was trying to recover, his face
looking gaunt.
“Hey,” Reiner’s voice and his touch against his shoulder shifted Armin’s focus
back to the reality, back to where they were and the situation they were in.
“He’ll be okay, he really will be.”
Armin was left uncertain of how to reply. He felt like something had tightened
around his throat, making it difficult to speak, difficult to even breathe. He
swatted at the hand Reiner had placed on his shoulder.
“You can’t keep doing this to him, his body can’t possibly take—“
“You’d be surprised what his body can take. He’s a titan, Armin, you forget
that?”
“He’s human,” Armin snapped at the end of Reiner’s sentence. He looked over his
shoulder at him, into those brown eyes where he had once seen trust,
companionship...it looked exactly the same, but everything was different now,
appearances meant nothing.
That’s when Armin noticed that the cottage was empty now, except for the 3 of
them; Eren, Reiner, and Armin himself. Ymir, Christa, and Bertholdt were
absent. He decided he wouldn’t ask where they had gone off to, the answer
didn’t matter right then, he could narrow down the list of possibilities.
Things became silent for a while. Perhaps Reiner had been considering his
response, had considered trying to convince Armin differently of his words and
came to the correct conclusion that no matter what he said Armin wouldn’t alter
his stance.
“I don’t like doing these things to him, Armin,” Reiner lowered himself down to
the floor so their eyes are on the same level. “But he keeps putting up a
fight, making things difficult-maybe you can talk some sense into him so it
doesn’t have to be this way.”
“Is that why you grabbed me?” Armin asked in response. “Because you think I can
keep him in check?”
It made sense, logically, that Reiner would think so. He might have even been
correct. Armin was the one Eren trusted the most, but Armin had his doubts that
he could do anything to cushion the rage Eren was experiencing because it was
all about revenge. It was about revenge that had been fueling a fire for five
years.
“…that’s…” Reiner pressed his hand against his forehead and groaned. “...no,
that’s not why,” before Armin could try to prompt him again, his hand was once
more on his shoulder, and he changed the topic without giving him an answer.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I tried to be gentle, when I caught
you.”
He wanted to go back to the previous conversation, to get his answer as to why
him, why did Reiner snatch him? If not for Eren, to use him as some sort of
mediator, then why?
Armin heard Eren stirring and it put everything he and Reiner were discussing
on hold. His attention returned to him and he moved closer towards Eren, hoping
that maybe his presence would keep him calm at least for a bit longer. Reiner
made the smart move of standing back up and moving a few feet away from the
both of them.
“Eren, can you hear me?” he wouldn’t ask how he felt, he already knew he had to
be feeling pretty awful.
A faint groan was heard in the pit of his throat. Eren lifted his head like it
had gained an extra hundred pounds and stared back at Armin with slowly
blinking eyes.
“A...Armin?” his voice was hoarse and he tried to clear his throat, but doing
so caused him to flinch. “Shit...what happened? Where are we?” Armin didn’t get
the time to answer before Eren caught sight of Reiner and just like that, all
that weight he had seemed to be struggling with was thrown off and his rage was
reignited. “You! You son of a bitch...!” Eren thrashed against the makeshift
retrains.
“Eren! Eren, stop!” Armin pleaded with him, eyes widening as blood started to
trickle out of the corner of Eren’s mouth. Was he biting the inside of his
cheek, trying to transform in his condition? Armin grabbed his friend by his
shoulders and held him firm, but it did nothing to settle the other boy down.
“Eren, you’re going to get us killed! Listen to me!” he caught his face between
his hands and stared into his eyes. “You’ve waited 5 years for this! Do you
want to do something stupid and lose your chance?! If revenge for your mother
is still what you want, you need to calm down, now!”
Eren had worked himself up into frenzied state. His breathing was deep and
loud, like he couldn’t get enough air, but Armin’s words caused him to freeze.
“H-he...he and...! They both...! They killed...!”
“I know, Eren,” Armin pressed his forehead to his, hands still up against his
face. “You trust me, right? Then listen to me. Now isn’t the time to act, you
have to wait, okay? Please…just for a while longer.”
He was trying to comfort him, calm him, in whatever way he could. The truth was
that Eren was too weak to transform and even if he did, there would be no
fighting against Reiner, Berthold, and possibly Ymir. They had no control over
the situation, none at all. For Armin, that meant playing along and he hoped he
could keep Eren from doing anything too rash until he could think of a plan on
how to escape.
Reiner sighed. “It’s always been about revenge for you, Eren, right? You really
have no idea how little that matters...even if you get your revenge, so what?
What then? Will our deaths be enough?”
Armin felt the tension he had just dispersed rising up again. Eren’s body shook
with such ferocity his teeth chattered together.
“You deserve to die... You and Bertholdt, you both deserve to die! It’ll never
be enough, never ever be enough but it’s a fucking start!”
“Reiner, don’t provoke him!” Armin yelled at him. His hand smoothed back Eren’s
hair, a desperate gesture to try and sooth him. “Eren, you need to focus on
regaining your strength, okay? Focus on that...you can’t do anything in your
current state, you know that. You already tried,” his moved his sleeve up
against the trail of blood at the corner of Eren’s mouth, wiping it away. “You
need to think about yourself right now.”
Eren’s chest heaved as he clenched his jaw. He sounded like a wounded animal,
the sound he made, a sort of whine, and it was enough to shine a light on the
fact that deep buried under all the layers of anger there was a great deal of
anguish.
“Armin, you should take your own advice...” Reiner told him. “How do you feel?
You were out of it this whole time.”
“I’m okay,” he said again without considering the validity of the words.
“Will you let me check you over, just to be sure?” Armin wouldn’t look at him,
eyes still on Eren, although the brunette was fixated on Reiner. “Please,
Armin, I want to make sure you’re all right.”
Armin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Fine,” he
climbed back onto his feet and walked over to Reiner, standing right in front
of him.
 Play along, he told himself, don’t act hasty. You could catch more flies with
honey than vinegar. Armin needed to be the antithesis of Eren, co-operative
where he resisted, logical against his emotions.
Reiner took him by the chin, touch gentle, and tilted back Armin’s head. He
began by looking over his face for any noticeable bruises. It reminded Armin of
previous times, during their days training, how attentive Reiner would be,
asking him how he was feeling or even just how he was doing in general.
Seeing that familiar look on his face as their eyes met, that one that seemed
so genuine and full of concern, hurt more than Armin thought it would.
“You hurting anywhere in particular?”
“My neck, mostly,” Armin answered honestly and made no comment as Reiner freed
the button that held together his cloak, causing it to fall over Armin’s back
and become a heap of cloth on the floor.
“I’m sorry, I really am... The last thing I want to do is hurt you,” when
Reiner said it, Eren scoffed loudly. “I mean...there’s nothing I can say, I
know that much…or is there?”
Armin wasn’t sure why his shoulders jumped at the remark. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, the world isn’t as black and white to you as it is to Eren,” Reiner
began to explain and he took a step forward, bringing himself closer to Armin.
“Yeah, there’s nothing that can justify it...” a forced laugh, soft and brief,
“But maybe...there’s a reason... A reason I can give you that won’t make you
hate me as much… I think that’s possible for you, Armin, I think you of all
people would understand.”
Armin considered his words carefully. Was this Reiner’ way of reaching out to
him? Why he would do that, he didn’t know. Perhaps he was clinging to the
persona he had created as a way of coping with all of the guilt-and
there was guilt, Armin read that in his gestures and his voice and he could see
it clearly in his eyes.
To Eren, Reiner was nothing but a monster. To Armin, monsters were simple,
their motivations were easy to decipher. Reiner wasn’t a monster, he was
complex with many twisting paths to his personality. Monsters, most of all, did
not feel guilt.
“...maybe I would understand. Maybe you’re giving me too much credit though,”
he finally settled on as his response.
“Armin?” Eren breathed his name in the midst of a gasp and Armin felt like
something sharp had pierced his gut. The disbelief in Eren’s voice and the tone
caused Armin to know immediately that he had hurt him. The fact that he didn’t
hate Reiner completely and utterly, it wounded Eren.
He wanted to apologize. He looked over at Eren and hoped he saw it in his eyes,
because he didn’t get the chance to actually vocalize it.
“Come on, Armin, you never give yourself enough credit.”
Reiner took him by the hand and it was so much larger than his own he could
practically conceal it within his grasp. Armin had always liked that about
Reiner. His powerful stance, large frame with toned muscles, and his reassuring
voice. Something about him had always seemed so safe. It should have been
completely different now, but…
It lingered, all those feelings remained of days long gone that could never be
looked upon the same now.
When Armin stayed quiet, Reiner spoke up again. “You…asked before, why it was I
brought you along.”
Armin’s eyes widened, finding it unexpected he would bring it back up. He
nodded hastily, hoping for an answer this time. He saw the lump of Reiner’s
throat bob as he swallowed hard and noticed the shaky grasp of his hand and the
darkening of his cheeks.
“Because… I thought it might be the last time I’d see you and I…I didn’t want
that to be the case.”
It left Armin winded and feeling as though he had been dropped into a maze,
left to scramble and completely lost. Reiner had been his friend but he had
been everyone’s friend. It didn’t seem likely to Armin that Reiner would have a
personal reason to take him. It had to be because of Eren, didn’t it?
“It was stupid and a risk, but… Ymir was willing to be selfish and grab Christa
when she did—“
The shock was so intense he didn’t even hear the rest of Reiner’s sentence. Was
he honestly comparing what Ymir felt for Christa to what he felt for him? There
was no way it could be the same, the implication was enough cause the blood to
rush towards his face.
Reiner’s hands practically covered the entire width of his shoulders as he
settled them there. “Armin… I told myself I could never have you because I had
to focus on the mission, on what needed to be done, but…now…now with everything
gone to hell it just seems—“ he cursed. “Fuck, just what’s the point in holding
anything back anymore, you know?”
Before he could react, even consider reacting, he felt Reiner’s lips connect
with his own. His back stiffened, eyes widened and Armin became entirely
immobile though there was nothing restraining him.
The yell that came from Eren would have been enough to startle a corpse. When
it reached Armin’s ears, function returned to his limbs and he immediately
stepped away from Reiner, breaking the kiss as he put the distance between
them.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Eren nearly screamed it and Armin
thought for a second that he was asking him, only for it to occur to him that
Eren’s eyes were on Reiner. “Get away from him, you asshole!”
“Damn it, Eren, you’re going to bring the titans right to us making that much
noise!” Reiner crossed the room over to him, picked up the rag Armin had
earlier removed and began to fight with Eren to put it back on.
“Don’t touch him, don’t you ever fucking touch him again!”
It took a bit of a struggle and Reiner cursed as Eren managed to sink his teeth
into his arm and he had to force him off by nearly breaking his jaw but he
finally managed to gag him once again. Armin turned away from the scene,
finding it too difficult to watch.
His mind was running over a multitude of different ideas now. He replayed old
memories, of Reiner’s actions towards him. Reiner had always been kind to
everyone, Armin had never thought he was getting special attention.
But there were times… Times when Reiner would go out of his way to say goodbye
to him as they went their own ways, times when he would sit with him and ask
about his day, times when he would smile at him and Armin noted it seemed
different from the ones he saw shared with other people.
Times when he could have killed him, should have killed him, but he didn’t.
Armin’s heart beat was getting frantic. This was a situation he never thought
he’d find himself in. Perhaps he could use Reiner’s feelings for him to his
advantage, find a way to convince him to let him and Eren go or at least find
ways to compromise the mission, giving the Survey Corps a chance to find them.
He jumped when arms circled him from behind. He felt Reiner’s chest up against
his back and he tried to settle down, to accept it, play along and act
complacent with these gestures. He felt completely enclosed by his embrace,
reminded of just how small he was in comparison to Reiner.
“I’m sorry… I know it’s strange to hear it now, right? After everything that’s
happened,” Reiner said and Armin paid close attention to the sound of his
voice, trying to read the emotion in it. “But…but I think you could look past
it, Armin, couldn’t you?”
Of course he couldn’t, that was immediately the thought that crossed Armin’s
mind, but he kept the response down in his throat. He was certain Reiner knew
it too, deep down. Who the hell possibly could? But Armin had already begun to
theorize Reiner wasn’t in his right mind.
“…maybe I could,” he replied and it made him sick as he heard Eren shifting
around in the corner and his voice muffled by the gag. If he tried to even
begin imagining what was going through his friend’s mind as he said it, he knew
he’d throw up right on the spot.
But this…he was doing this for Eren and it seemed so minor when he thought of
all Eren had done for him. He had died saving him, he may have had the
miraculous fortune of being reborn as a titan, but that memory would always
stick out in Armin’s mind as the day Eren died saving him.
So, he could put on this façade for now, give Reiner the illusion understanding
and compassion he was obviously craving from him in hopes of granting him a
false sense of security that Armin could use to his benefit. He could take
control of this situation in a much more subtle way.
“I want to believe that I could, Reiner… We’ve all been through so much
together.”
Reiner sighed in what Armin believed to be relief. “So you don’t hate me,” it
was quite the conclusion to leap to, but Armin didn’t discredit it, because
deep down he knew that he didn’t, but he wouldn’t admit that to himself. “I’m
so glad to hear that.”
Armin became aware in that instant that it wasn’t just compassion and
understanding that Reiner wanted from him. Reiner’s hands moved down over the
front of him and had no reservations about where they roamed. They opened his
shirt with one swift tug and slid under fabric to touch naked skin.
Armin gasped like it was the last breath of air he’d get before going under. He
had to decide how far he was willing to go, if he were willing to do this in
some attempt at gaining some power in the situation. His brain found the worse
time to fail him as everything went white like a blank sheet of paper. He had
nothing, no answer, and no train of thought that would lead him to one.
“R-Reiner, wait—“ he muttered, voice meek and lacking in conviction. The remark
was ignored.
He felt Reiner’s lips against his neck next after the other boy brushed aside
his hair, touch faint at first but becoming firmer with each kiss he placed. It
was strange, but not unpleasant, the contact, the feel of Reiner’s breath on
his skin, and Armin thought it’d bother him and it almost startled him when it
didn’t.
“You said your neck hurts, right?” Reiner pulled away and Armin felt his hands
against the back of his neck, his thumbs rubbing over tense muscles in slow
circles. “Take off your jacket and shirt, I’ll work out all the kinks, okay?”
Armin inhaled harshly and his lungs hurt as they expanded, causing him to
wonder how long he had been holding his breath for. His shirt was already open,
leaving only a few buttons left to undo and he looked over his shoulder at
Reiner as he struggled to speak.
He couldn’t say anything at all no matter how he tried. He could only stare
back at Reiner, mouth slightly open, mind full of completely useless jargon. He
broke eye contact when he turned his head forward again and locked onto the
wall across from him. With shaking hands he took off the worn Survey Corps
jacket and then the white shirt underneath.
Don’t think about it, he told himself. Just go with it. He was failing to think
anyway and maybe it was for the best. Not thinking at all, perhaps that was
precisely what he needed to do for now.
Reiner breathed in slowly and when he placed his hands on Armin’s back, Armin
instinctively curled into himself, lowering his head, bringing his shoulders
forward and hunching over.
“Relax,” Reiner said and lowered his hands back down to his sides. “I’m not
gonna hurt you. Sit down on the floor, try to get comfortable, okay?”
Armin nodded because he still couldn’t find his voice. He sat down on the floor
and pulled his legs up against his chest, chin coming to rest on his knees. He
looked over at Reiner when he heard him fiddling with something and he saw it
was a bottle of lotion he was twisting the cap off of. He recognized it as
standard issue stuff, given to the soldiers to help with the chafing caused by
using their 3DMG.
The idea that Reiner may have intended to use it for more than just a massage
hit him like a punch to the chest. Breathing became difficult and loud and the
oxygen around him was insufficient. Armin turned away again and shut his eyes
tightly, willing his mind to go blank again, to not even consider the
possibility of what this would lead to.
Reiner’s hands felt hot on his skin, enough to burn him, Armin exaggerated.
Fingers pressed into his neck and followed along the flow of muscle. He kept
his touch along his shoulders and against his nape.
A deep sigh left Armin. The touch felt nice. His muscles began to loosen as
Reiner smoothed out all the tight bunches in his neck and around his shoulders.
The pain became dull and for the first time since becoming aware of the
situation, Armin felt relaxed.
“I really am sorry, Armin… I never wanted things to turn out this way and-and I
know I’m being selfish. But I’ll take care of you, I will, you’ll be happy…”
Armin almost wanted to start laughing, was that Reiner’s way of saying he was
taking responsibility for him? “There’s no future inside of the walls anyway…
I’ll keep you safe.”
Armin wanted to question what he meant by that, about there being no future,
but there would come a time for that. The time wasn’t now. Right now, it was
all about gaining Reiner’s trust. He already had his favor, he just needed to
get him to drop his guard.
“I…I know you will,” he looked over his shoulder at Reiner and gave him a small
smile. “You won’t let anything bad happen to me.”
The words must have taken him by surprise. His hands came to a stop, twitched
against his skin and Reiner gasped. He nodded and slid his arms around Armin
once again, holding him close.
“That’s right… I promise, I’ll protect you, Armin.”
Reiner’s hard work rubbing out knotted muscles was undone the second Eren began
moving around again, a reminder that he was there and he was watching this. He
kicked the wall next to him and Armin wasn’t sure if it were due to frustration
or just because he wanted to alert them that he was still in the room.
“Ignore him,” Reiner knew what he was thinking. His hands resumed their earlier
actions of exploring Armin’s chest. Armin flinched as the tip of Reiner’s
finger brushed over one of his nipples tentatively. When Armin said nothing he
continued, rubbing back and forth over it with a slick touch.
Armin had never been noticeably sensitive there but the act itself, having
someone play with them, ignited something that sent heat all throughout his
body. While Reiner’s one hand continued to alternate between rubbing, circling,
and gentle pinching, his other arm snaked around Armin’s waist, holding him
there as Reiner moved forward, bringing their bodies back into contact with one
another.
It’s when he did that, when he practically pulled Armin into his lap and for
the first time Armin could feel his arousal up against his backside that he was
kicked from a dreamlike state and everything was suddenly very real once again.
Armin trembled and shook his head, lifting his arm up and pressing his elbow
against the other boy’s ribs in hopes of causing enough discomfort to get him
to let go. But Reiner took him by the wrist to stop him from applying much
force behind it.
“Reiner,” his own voice sounded foreign to him and lent no real clues to what
it was he was feeling. “I’m not—I can’t…! Eren is…!”
He released his wrist and brought his hand up to Armin’s face, curling around
the curve of his jaw and turning his head back towards him. “Armin…” when he
said his name this time, it was different, with a slight hum to it, though
trying to coax Armin to go along with what he wanted.
His lips were on his again before Armin could attempt a reply, words falling
apart before they could be spoken. Eren was flailing again, he could hear him
hitting against everything around him.
The kiss was nothing at all like the previous. The first had been about giving,
but this one was about claiming. Reiner’s tongue slipped between his lips but
Armin kept his teeth clenched, refusing to let him into his mouth. His neck
became tight again, turned the way it was, and he felt nothing but relief when
Reiner pulled back and let him go entirely. He moved forward as soon as he was
able to and in his haste fell flat against the floor with a grunt.
He didn’t move, he couldn’t find the strength to move as he felt the firmness
between his own legs. He was yelling at himself, berating every facet, cursing
his body for betraying him and it was almost enough to bring him to tears but
he felt the relief that would come from crying was not something he deserved.
“Armin?” his voice was laced with what sounded like authentic hurt, hurt
because Armin had broken away from him so quickly.
Armin clenched his hands to try and reduce their shaking as he lay on his side
against the floor. He took in heavy breaths that didn’t register with his lungs
and again could only offer silence in response his name being spoken.
“I won’t hurt you, I swear.”
He should have said no, should have screamed it, when he lifted his head and
saw Reiner discard his shirt next. But instead he could only watch, gaze
drifting along muscles as he moved towards him. He placed his hands on either
side of Armin’s head, leaning over him, and Armin shuddered.
“I know this is probably too fast, but we don’t exactly have all the time in
the world,” he reached for Armin’s shoulder and rolled him over onto his back.
Armin didn’t fight the motion, he did nothing but stare at Reiner, he didn’t
even react when Reiner began to undo his pants. “I wish it could have been
different, something more…romantic, I guess, but… I don’t know, what would have
been ideal for you, Armin?”
Eren wouldn’t let him forget that he was in the room with them, but it was more
than apparent by that time that Reiner didn’t care. He was really going to go
through with this, even with someone to witness it.
Armin wouldn’t look over at him, he wouldn’t dare.
“I don’t know,” his voice was strained, having to fight its way past the sobs
lodged in his throat. If he cried he didn’t even know what it would be for;
because he had always pictured the boy he grew up with being the one he gave
himself to like this? Because now that would never happen?
Reiner smiled at him with the same kind expression as always, like nothing had
changed. “I guess these days there isn’t much time for romantic daydreams, eh?”
He almost didn’t hear him. The noise Eren was making was thunderous to his
ears. He could hear him kicking his legs with that little slack they had,
slamming his body against the walls, and screaming. He was definitely
screaming, it was dampened by the rag in his mouth but even with that it was so
loud.
Armin felt cold as he lay naked against the old wooden floorboards of the
house. It was a drastic contrast, the chill against his back and the heat along
his torso as Reiner caressed him, touch trailing down his stomach and over his
hips.
Eren's thrashing and the clamor of his struggle made Armin feel like there were
needles beneath his skin that kept shifting around whenever he moved. He forced
himself to keep talking, needing a distraction from it.
“Anywhere outside of the walls would have been nice,” he said, eyes fixed on
the ceiling. “It would have been special. I-I think…because…I always wanted to
go out there, e-ever since I was a kid.”
“That so?” Reiner’s lips fell against his chest and he lingered for a moment to
lay a few more kisses there. “We’ll be beyond the walls soon enough…it won’t be
our first time then, but—I’ll make it special for you, all right?”
“All right,” he said it quickly with no thought given to his answer. He just
needed to keep the conversation going, he needed to hear something besides Eren
screaming. “It doesn’t really matter, it was just a thought.”
He winced as he heard the bottle of lotion being picked up from the floor as
though it were the sound of a gun going off. “I like the idea,” Reiner said.
“You deserve better than this, it’s just… I need you, Armin, right now… I can’t
wait, I’m sorry.”
Armin’s body jerked when he felt the first finger enter him and he was shocked
by just how easily it slipped in, like his body welcomed it. His gasp drifted
off into a whimper and he bit his own tongue to keep from making anymore noises
as Reiner pulled back slowly and then pushed in again.
“Does it hurt?” Reiner asked.
Armin shook his head. “No,” and that was all he could manage.
“Let me know if it does, okay?”
He replaced one finger with two this time. There was a bit more resistance, but
the lotion made everything so slick that not much patience was required before
both fingers were in as far as they could reach. Armin wasn’t sure how to
process that, just how easy it was for Reiner to open up his body like this, if
he could blame it on the other boy’s apparent experience or if it was something
else.
There was a thud as Eren hit the floor or the wall and he was still yelling.
Armin, Armin, he thought he could make out his name being shouted over and
over. That realization coming to him again, that Eren wasn’t looking away but
instead watching them, trying to stop them—his whole body began to tense again
and his heart plummeted.
No, don’t look, Armin shut his eyes tightly. Please, don’t watch this…!
He decided to say it aloud, beg Eren to turn away, even opened his mouth to do
so, but Reiner muffled the attempt with a kiss, taking the intimacy he wanted
before, tongue brushing against Armin’s as it slipped between his parted lips.
The fingers he had inside of him moved in and out and began to do so faster.
That sensation, along with the kiss, was enough to draw his attention away.
“It’s just us, all right?” Reiner said softly, as though he could read his
mind. “Just you and me…”
Armin didn’t have much time to dwell on any of it. The moment passed quickly
and Reiner pulled back his hand. Armin opened his eyes this time, telling
himself that he had to look as he heard the zip of Reiner’s pants being undone.
He wished he didn’t, wished he could step back in time a mere two seconds and
keep his eyes closed. Reiner was large, certainly much larger than his fingers
and it didn’t seem possible that he would be able to fit into his small frame
without tearing him. But Armin was silent and remained that way even as he felt
Reiner’s hands on him, positioning him. Reiner supported him easily, holding
him by his hips, as Armin’s legs rested against his shoulders.
Why am I doing this? he questioned himself as he felt the tip of Reiner’s
erection against him. Eren, I’m doing this for Eren, it became a chant in his
head that he kept repeating. He was doing this for him, he was doing this
because going along with what Reiner wanted would give him the advantage they
needed to get out of this.
For Eren…he would do anything for Eren.
“Relax, Armin…just take a deep breath. I’ll go slow, okay?”
Armin responded in no way to the remark, only obeyed the suggestion, sucking in
as much air as his lungs could hold. It amplified the cry that followed as
Reiner eased into him. It wasn’t due to pain, but rather because in that
instant Armin knew he had lost a part of himself he would never get back.
“Armin, you all right?” Reiner became still, barely inside of him, and Armin
nodded, eyes once again shut with the intention of keeping himself blinded
throughout the whole ordeal.
“I-I’m fine… Reiner…” he pleaded with him weakly. “Please, just…just do it,
please…” he needed to be overcome, either by pain or pleasure, he needed to
lose himself and every single thought that was now flooding his mind.
He felt stretched to his limit as Reiner sheathed his entire length inside of
him. He waited for a minute, giving Armin time to adjust. It was a sweet
gesture, but to Armin it left time feeling frozen and he was stuck in that
room, in this position, that feeling of pressure inside of him and Eren’s voice
muffled and frenzied and he wanted to cover his ears because it was like
nothing he had heard come from his friend before.
It stung but wasn’t unpleasant. Perhaps that was because it also felt good to
him, being filled, so it dulled any discomfort. The fit was so tight, he swore
he could feel Reiner when he so much as even breathed.
The first movement, Reiner pushing up against him again, made him shudder. It
felt good, even that little bit felt good.
“Armin…wow…” Reiner breathed. “You feel…amazing…”
Reiner pulled back only a bit before sliding in again and repeated the motion.
Slow and gentle, testing what Armin could take at this stage. While Armin found
his body enjoyed it, he realized he wanted more, even with the possibility that
it would be too much for him to handle-because currently this wasn’t enough to
get his brain to shut up.
He tried to show him he was ready, because he knew he couldn’t bring himself to
beg with his voice. Placing his hands on the floor to use as leverage, he began
to rock along with him, urging his body forward as Reiner moved his hips. He
groaned softly, finding even that little bit of added friction satisfying.
Reiner took the hint; or maybe it was just watching Armin move along with him
made it too difficult to ignore his own needs. When he thrust, hitting him
deep, Armin moaned unabashed. Like someone extinguishing a flame, emotions all
fizzled out. All he could do was feel, feel the warmth, the pleasure as it
mingled with pain, and become entangled in it.
There was a rhythm to it and it built quickly. The original tenderness gave way
to desire. Each time Reiner's hips came forward it elicited a gasp or a moan
from him. Each time he felt his length push into him, it ended any words his
mind began to conjure.
That was what he wanted more than anything, the haze that came along with lust.
More than the heat and the sensation that made his eyes water and his body
tremble, he didn’t want to think.
“That feel good?” Reiner asked him and Armin considered not responding because
he didn’t want to hear himself confirm it. But when his silence caused Reiner
to slow down, possibly due to fear that it didn’t, Armin knew he had no choice
but to answer him.
“…y-yes… It feels good…ah!” Armin’s back arched, his breath swallow and fast as
Reiner’s pace immediately resumed. Part of him wished it didn’t feel so good,
being wrapped around his cock, being pounded into like this, not with him.
Reiner ground into him, hands still on his hips, keeping him steady as he took
him. Soft panting and occasionally Armin’s name would slip past his lips. It
was so hot and Reiner felt so firm and his body wanted more. More heat, more
friction, harder, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Armin didn’t think
it were possible before then to want something so much and feel so ashamed
about it at the same time.
He made no effort to fight it, the bliss that he knew was temporary. He gave
into it willingly as he felt Reiner slam into him with increasing ferocity.
Every time Reiner entered him, it sent a shock through him more powerful than
the last. Even if he wanted to fight it, there was no way he could have.
Moans turned into whimpers and then cries, with tears that couldn’t be held
back behind closed lids. He knew he was there, right on the edge, he could
reach it, and he wanted to take it. No, he wanted Reiner to force it out of him
and make him scream.
 “Armin…” Reiner moaned his name and the rhythm faltered, turning into a
desperate, needy momentum as he finished inside of him with a groan.
When Reiner’s hand wrapped around him and matched the strokes with his final
thrusts, Armin cried out. He felt the wind knocked right out of his lungs. It
overwhelmed him, the added stimulation on his shaft. He scratched against the
floor boards with his nails and spilled himself into Reiner’s hand, his whole
body shuddering.
Going limp against the floor, Armin thought he might never catch his breath.
Reiner stayed inside of him for a bit longer before withdrawing slowly, leaving
Armin to realize how sore he felt as he lay there, pain refilling his body as
the pleasure seeped out.
Then he made the mistake of opening his eyes again. Head slightly turned, the
silence that had been such a comfort was replaced by shrieking that gradually
became louder and louder, but it was all in his head. He made eye contact, not
with Reiner, but with Eren, who had managed to move into his line of sight.
Eren was flopped over onto his stomach now and he had somehow moved a few feet
from where he had been placed originally. It was an amazing feat given how his
legs were tied together. Steam was drifting out of his mouth like smoke, the
cloth tied between his teeth bright red, soaked through with blood-from ripping
apart the inside of his mouth to the best of his ability, no doubt, in a
desperate attempt to assume his titan form.
What hit Armin the hardest was the stream of tears that continued to descend
down Eren’s face as they held one another’s gaze.
Then Armin lost sight of him as Reiner leaned over to kiss him once again. He
wouldn’t protest. After all, he had taken things this far, what would be the
point in pushing him away now? He had made his choice, he had set his piece up
on the chess board and made his move and there was no going back on in.
“You all right?” Reiner questioned him.
No.
“I’m fine.”
Armin closed his eyes once again and wished in that instant to never be able to
see again, to never again have to look Eren in the eyes. He had liked it, his
body had eagerly submitted itself to Reiner. The self-loathing he had thought
he abandoned long ago, he could feel it slithering under his skin. Doubts
circled him like vultures, demanding how he could have enjoyed being fucked by
a traitor of humanity while his best friend watched.
“You sure?”
“Y-yeah. I’m just…just tired,” he hoped that would put an end to any further
conversation.
Reiner placed a kiss on his forehead and Armin felt the warmth of his body
leave him as Reiner stood. The chill that replaced it made him shiver. Reiner
returned to him swiftly however, bringing over his cloak and wrapping Armin up
in it. He picked him up gently and carried him over to a nearby bench with a
few old cushions on it. It wasn’t ideal, but still better than the floor. His
fingers combed through Armin’s hair.
All were signs of affection, all of which left him feeling as though there was
a fire in the center of his chest that was burning him from the inside out
because he didn’t hate them as much as he knew he should have.
“Try to get some sleep, we need to get moving early tomorrow, okay?”
Armin sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and nodded. Eyes still closed, he
could hear Reiner walking away and pulling his clothes back on. When he thought
he heard his footsteps moving towards Eren, he couldn’t ignore it, he had to
look.
“You’re never going to heal if you keep exerting yourself like that,” Reiner
told him with a sigh and a ‘tsk’ that sounded reminiscent of a parent. He
lifted Eren back up into a sitting position, perhaps thinking he’d be more
comfortable like that.
Eren didn’t fight him, not at all, and that frightened Armin more than anything
else. Armin turned his back to the scene and curled up into a tight ball. He
covered his own mouth with his hand, holding back his sobs behind his palm.
He had done this for him, he had done this for Eren. It was the only thing that
brought him any comfort. Surely, Eren would understand that this put him in a
good position, a position that would allow him to get them out of this
situation.
If Eren ever asked how it was, if he liked it, Armin would look him dead in the
eye and lie. No, it was awful, he’d tell him without any reluctance.
He would work towards making himself believe it as well.
                                        
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