Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7700869.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Mikasa_Ackerman/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Mikasa_Ackerman, Eren_Yeager
  Additional Tags:
      angsty, Hurt/Comfort, angsty_sex, fanart_inspired
  Series:
      Part 1 of Eren_and_Mikasa_ficlets
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-08-07 Words: 2382
****** When She Feels Herself Weak ******
by Crazyaniknowit
Summary
     ~ Mikasa didn't usually do this, they didn't usually. She was pushy,
     more so than he'd ever seen her, and when she tugged on his shirt,
     fingers itching to dig beneath the fabric, he knew they'd be going
     all the way. ~
     - An angsty one-shot inspired by a piece of artwork by the same name.
Notes
     Okay, so, I saw this FANTASTIC drawing on Deviantart and I was
     inspired. Lol. I don't know why, but the idea came out kinda angsty.
     Oh well, enjoy...(I hope?)!
[The Picture it was inspired by. by j-witless]
Mikasa didn't usually do this, they didn't usually. She was pushy, more so than
he'd ever seen her, and when she tugged on his shirt, fingers itching to dig
beneath the fabric, he knew they'd be going all the way. Today was stressful,
losing comrades was normal in the Scouts, but sometimes, the weight of all your
losses would come crashing back down on you, and you were overcome with guilt
or remorse. For the moment, he let her have her way, despite being just outside
the dining hall. He'd followed her out when she seemed on the verge of tears,
but the anticipated, comforting discussion he had expected was quickly
dismissed.
Mikasa had suddenly hugged him tight, her hair tickling his chin as she shifted
against his chest. His arms instinctively wrapped around her in response. She
shivered as she looked up at him, her eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.
His eyes caught the subtle glint of light on moisture as her tongue wet her own
lips. Her hands gripped the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to meet her
halfway. He was used to these, the tender, passionate meeting of lips to
express emotions that no one wanted to talk about. But this was different.
Her mouth moved against his in a hunger he didn't recognize, and his hand
snaked it's way into her hair to tilt her head. She whimpered needily when his
tongue began to dance with hers, and her own hands threaded into his dark,
brown locks. Her leg hiked up over his waist, and his hand went back around her
hips to steady her. Eren's back hit the wall, but he barely noticed, as her
other leg was now around his waist and she rolled her hips gently against him.
Eren let out a moan, the sound muffled by her mouth drinking him in. Mikasa
couldn't help herself, her bottled up feelings were too much sometimes, but
with him, she could forget, if only briefly. When she had just started to feel
his arousal he finally broke away, panting heavily and eyes clouded in an inky
desire that she'd only seen a few times in them. "Room?" he asked, clearly not
wanting to continue just outside the dining hall door.
Mikasa unhooked her legs from his waist and grabbed his hand, walking sideways
to the special room they had secluded for themselves over the past months. Her
eyes never left Eren's, and as they neared the bedroom he ended up pinning her
against the door, unable to resist that spark of lust in her onyx pools. His
hand gently moved her maroon scarf and he peppered delicate kisses on her neck,
teeth nipping every here and again. Mikasa bit her lip to muffle a moan, her
hand fumbling for the doorknob. The door opened and they stumbled inside, too
caught up with one another to really notice.
Eren did, however, kick the door shut when they had entered, resuming their
position on the opposite side of the wooden structure. Mikasa tugged at his
shirt, lips never leaving his and seemingly devouring him, body and soul. He
pushed her half-jacket down her shoulders, throwing the garment to some unknown
corner of the room to be forgotten. His fingers went straight to the buttons of
her shirt afterwards, swiftly and decisively ridding her of it. Mikasa's
insistence on his shirt was finally acknowledged and they parted lips only to
let him pull it over his head.
Her warm hands were on his bare chest as soon as he had tossed the shirt, her
lips caressed his neck, suckling at his pulse point. Eren pushed off from the
door and grasped her thighs, lifting her up onto his waist. Her legs
instinctively hooked around him and she moved to recapture his lips, both of
them moaning when her hips rolled tantalizingly against his arousal. Eren
carried her forward, both of them finally falling onto the bed they had
prepared for these rare moments. Her boots were gone within an instant, and his
own followed shortly. He carefully unraveled the precious scarf from her neck
and placed it on the bedpost.
Eren moved to kiss between the valley of her still-clothed breasts, relishing
the hitch in her breath as his lips brushed over the soft skin. Her hands
tangled in his hair as he kissed lower, his fingers undoing any straps they
could find to free her legs from their clothing. Eren unhooked her legs from
around his waist and sat up, waiting for her eyes to meet his. When she glanced
down at him, he hooked his thumbs under the rim of the pants that clung to her
hips, pulling the offending fabric away, underclothing and all.
Mikasa pulled her knees to her chest to aid him as he finally pulled the
clothing from her feet, leaving her bared except for her bra. Eren held her leg
up, pressing his lips to the soft skin of her ankle, then slowly moving up. His
lips brushed along her calves, and she felt her breath hitch yet again as he
passed her knee. When he nipped at the inside of her thigh she let out a
breathy gasp, and she had to prop her torso up on her elbows to continue
watching him. All the while, his eyes hadn't left her face, as if he was
anticipating and expecting reactions from her.
When his warm breath touched her, she couldn't help but moan a breathless
"Eren...". Then, his tongue pressed again her, and she let out a soft cry. Her
hand immediately reached to fist in his hair and she fell back, arching into
the pillows. He grunted uncomfortably at the pull of his hair, but continued on
regardless, humming occasionally. Eren's hands reached under her legs to grasp
her hips, pulling her in closer as he pleasured her. Again and again, the flat
of his rough tongue against her had her moaning in ecstasy. His hands flexed
over her hips and his eyes had fluttered shut, focusing on his actions and the
sounds she was making.
Mikasa's cries were cut off as she lost her breath, back arching once again
when rapid waves of pleasure came from her core. Eren felt her swollen skin
pulse against his tongue and he slowed his ministrations, coming to an eased
stop as she came down from her high. She panted heavily, eyes closed as her
hands threaded through his hair. Eren moved to hover above her, arms planted on
either side of her chest as his lips pressed against her jawline. "Eren..." she
breathed in thanks, tilting her head to give him better access to her neck. Her
arms reached down between them and worked on the buttons and straps of his
pants, and he helped her push the offending cloth away.
He unhooked her bra, finally leaving them both entirely bare to one another. It
was a sight both of them already knew well, yet cherished beyond compare to
anything else in their miserable lives. His hands brushed over her body,
sending chills down her spine, and causing her hair to raise in anticipation.
She did the same, fingers running along his back and arms, attempting to
memorize the feel of every inch of his skin. For they knew, with the constant
threat they faced every day, they may not have the chance again. They had to
treasure one another, there was no questioning it.
Unlike the first time they had taken it so far, they were slow, tasting rather
than devouring. Eren groaned, pressing into her, and her legs widened
impossibly further as he filled her, hooking around his waist to pull him in.
Her back arched, pressing her breasts into his chest, and he relished the
feeling, burying his face into her neck and inhaling her scent. He would never
find anything better than being enveloped by her and driving himself into her
to bring them to a delirious high together.
They stayed still for a moment, any movement could wait. Her hands moved to his
face, cupping it in her slender fingers. Eren looked into her eyes and finally
moved within her, she gasped, lips parting enticingly. He promptly covered her
mouth with his own, tongues beginning to dance. He gently pulled out, then back
in, increasing pace until he found a rhythm. Her pleasured cries were muffled,
and he took his time to savor them. Despite his throbbing need, he pushed in
and out of her slowly, drawing it out as long as he could, because once it
ended, it might be the last.
Mikasa moved with him, pulling away and pushing back onto him, his hands moving
to her hips to help her movements. Before Eren knew why, he was sitting up and
pulling her with him. She moaned, long as loud, as gravity helped him reach a
new deep within her walls. His hands moved from her hips to the point of her
spine between her shoulder blades, pressing her as close as he could to his
chest while she moved rhythmically on his lap. The kiss managed to break when
she threw her head back in ecstasy, close to her second high of the night.
Eren's lips moved to suckle on her pulse point and she let out a final moan,
her walls pulsing in an attempt to milk him for all he was worth.
He felt his throat vibrate in a breathy groan as he finally released, bucking
his hips erratically once or twice without knowing it. Mikasa gasped with each
final thrust, and Eren latched onto her neck, teeth and all. She hummed and
wrapped her arms him, eyes fluttering shut and her chest heaving with the
effort she had put out that night. Her hand caressed the nape of his neck as
they sat there, simply savoring the feeling of being so intimately connected.
He shivered, a hand reached up to cover hers, and he finally released her neck
with a subtle pop, giving the love mark an apologetic kiss.
The silence lasted for some time, and the adrenaline was allowed to die down.
They both were contented to hold one another and sigh, just bathing in the
afterglow. Mikasa's reasoning came back to her shortly, however. She felt the
back of her eyes sting, and when the first, salty droplet splashed onto Eren's
shoulder, he moved from his resting place on her neck and furrowed his brows in
concern. "Mikasa...?" he murmured, reaching his hand up to wipe at the tear
trail. She hiccuped, failing to bite back her sob, and he pressed his forehead
to hers. "Shh..."
She clutched him tighter and let her tears fall, giving up on holding back,
"It's okay." Eren whispered, playing with her hair. He felt his own eyes prick
with emotion, but he held it back, wanting to be strong for her for once.
Mikasa sniffled and wiped her nose, sitting back, the motion made Eren stiffen
and grunt, as they hadn't separated. "I'm sorry." she gave a mirthless smile
through her tears.
Eren shook his head, shifting her legs so he could lay back without trapping
them under him. "There's nothing to be sorry for." he said, pulling her to lay
on his chest. His thumb-pad caressed the scar on her cheek. Mikasa's hand
grasped the hand he was using, leaning to nuzzle his palm. Eren pulled the
rolled-down blanket up with his toes until he could reach it, and draped it
over their bodies. The sweat from their love-making had been cooling, and they
started to shiver, so the blanket was welcome.
Mikasa rolled off of him and he turned onto his side to face her, still cupping
her cheek in his palm. "It's hard to forget sometimes, or to act indifferent."
she whispered, looking into his eyes, "That's part of why I needed this."
Eren smiled just barely, pressing his forehead to hers, "It helps me too." he
said, pulling her flush against his chest, his hand rubbing circles on her hip.
Mikasa reached up to wipe the remnants of her tears away, "I love you...I love
this..." she murmured, one finger tracing unknown patterns on his chest, "It
frightens me. If I love you so much, it will hurt all the more if I lose
you..." she paused and furrowed her brow, "It's frightening to love you." she
surmised.
Eren listened silently, blinking at her words, at how true they were. "I love
you too, Mikasa." he said, letting his mind ponder on the subject for a moment,
"But, if we live fearing loss, it'll be harder to appreciate each other while
we still have one another. And I can't promise neither of us will ever get
hurt, or die, but that's a part of living, life itself is unpredictable."
Mikasa mulled over his words and nodded, "I suppose, even if the world weren't
like this, we'd still live in that fear, because there is still sickness and
such." she agreed.
"Right." Eren murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead, then her nose -
causing her to let out a reluctant giggle - then cheeks, eyes, and finally her
lips. Mikasa chuckled quietly into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his
neck. Eren pulled her ever closer and entwined his legs with hers, pulling away
from her lips with a sigh. "Sleep, Mikasa. We'll stay the night." he said, only
closing his eyes when she did.
Usually, they'd go back to the separate men and women's bedrooms. But neither
felt like moving, and they needed the comfort of another warm body that night.
Mikasa snuggled into the warmth of his chest, smiling at the sensation of his
fingers curling into hers. For now, at least they had each other. For how long?
They didn't know. But like Eren had said, they could never be rid of risk, so
they had to fully appreciate each other while they could. Despite how guilty or
remorseful she felt over her comrades, Mikasa acknowledged that she needed to
focus on her living comrades, and celebrate their ongoing lives for as long as
she could.
She slept peacefully that night, one of the very few good night's sleep she
usually got.
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