Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/7043161. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: F/M Fandom: Star_Wars_Episode_VII:_The_Force_Awakens_(2015) Relationship: Rey/Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Leia_Organa/Han_Solo, Obi-Wan_Kenobi/Sabé, Rey/ Hux_(nonconsensual), OC/OC Character: Rey, Ben_Solo_|_Kylo_Ren, Leia_Organa, Han_Solo, Obi-Wan_Kenobi, Sabe, General_Hux, Captain_Phasma_-_Character, Finn_|_FN-2187, Poe_Dameron, Original_Male_Characters, Original_Female_Characters Additional Tags: Suggestive_Dialogue, Violence, Murder, Blood, Torture, coarse_languge, Sexual_Situations, elements_of_nonconsensual_sex, Adult_Content, Self Harm, religious_punishment, Minor_Character_Death, Major_character_death -_Freeform, Kidnapping, Imprisonment, Miscarriage, Teenage_Pregnancy Series: Part 1 of Cœur_Douloureux Stats: Published: 2016-06-07 Updated: 2016-10-11 Chapters: 4/7 Words: 9249 ****** When Love Was Blind ****** by DarthAzha Summary Dark Ages AU- Rey and Ben were born into a time where love was rare and death was common. There are different wars raging through the country man against the plague, man against God, and man against one another. As Crown Prince, Ben Solo is called to battle in the place of his father, promising his lover that he will return and marry her. Rey waits and two years pass with no word. Aching to recover something, even a body, she volunteers to go as a spy to another kingdom seeking rumors about a warrior that seems unstoppable. No plague, god, or man can cut down Kylo Ren- The name itself struck fear into the valiant soldiers of her home, but with nothing left to lose, Rey follows Hux through his castle until she follows him down into a dark, damp cellar. Tucked between columns, she catches sight of the soldier chained to a wall. Scars riddle his arms and chest in white lines, but it is his face that strikes her the hardest. - "Ben..." Rey whispered leaning forward as if to reach out to him. All of her months of effort fails as a stone scuffs across the floor from under her feet. The king whipped around, staring at her with that unnerving smile of his. "Well, well, Ren... There seems to be a rat in our midst."- ***** Disclaimer ***** Disclaimer : I do not own Star Wars, or any of the characters included herein, this disclaimer applies to the entirety of the work. All of the song lyrics included in chapters one through six are from the song “I Dreamed a Dream” sung in the musical Les Miserables . I did not write these lyrics, and I take no credit for them.   Author’s Note : Any Original Characters (OCs) used will have small biographies at the beginning of the chapter that they are used in. Kudos and comments appreciated, but the story is finished and will not change the rate of uploading.   WARNINGS : If I could make this entire section red I would. Please read, though warnings will also be tagged in the search. This story includes- * Suggestive Dialogue * Violence * Murder * Blood * Torture (Mental and physical) * Coarse Language * Sexual Situations * Elements of Nonconsensual Sex- written inexplicitly. * Adult Content * Active Self-Harm (Religious Punishment) * Minor Character Death * Major Character Death * Kidnapping * Imprisonment * Miscarriage * Teenage pregnancy   Read and enjoy at your own risk. This work is rated E for a reason.   If you’ve struggled through this thus far, thank you for reading, I hope to see you in the comments section! * D. Azha   ***** When Their Voices Were Soft ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes When Their Voices Were Soft There was a time when men were kind When their voices were soft And their words inviting There was a time when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time Then it all went wrong. ===============================================================================   S ummer- 1353 Rey remembered exactly how she felt the second she was told that the prince was most likely dead. The pain that she felt then was the worst that it ever had been- the crushing, sinking, devastating feeling that it left her with had never gone away. Her day hadn’t begun that way though, and perhaps it was the pull of such extremes that made it so unbearable . Before the queen, her adoptive mother, spoke there was joy, excitement, relief . The troops had returned and there were minimal casualties despite the advanced technology the First Order alliance had over the New Republic. The war had taken more than Rey would ever care to tally, but in this moment, Rey could do no more than focus on the losses that this time of desolation had brought her. Had Rey known the direction her life would take, how the happy moments would spiral downward so quickly, she might have chosen death over life.  Rey had been alone for longer than her memory could provide. At some points she remembered people telling her that her parents died heroes in 1338, at the Rebellion of the Castle Gate when she was three. In reality though, it might have been something she made up herself in the solitude and isolation that seemed to consume her life. Her father was a soldier and her mother traveled with the troops to help; everyone helped in any way they could to bring down the oligarchy that sought to enslave the free citizens of the New Republic. The First Order sought to squash any instances of the rebellion that her parents had been so actively leading. The First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire. Rey’s parents believed that the alliances would crumble, just like the empire, with the force of the people behind the idea of democracy, and from a young age, she learned that she had a voice and that she should not forget it’s sound or it’s power. The last time Rey saw her parents was when her mother was tucking her into bed at her grandmother’s house. “Goodbye, my little ray of sunshine. Papa and I will be back soon enough”. Even after the couple had left, she begged for them to stay, and cried for them in each day that followed. Rey would out to the hill that overlooked the vast countryside and sob. Word poured in after several weeks. Her parents were dead; the rebellion was over. After being an orphan for seven years, living with her mother’s parents, the plague came. It swept through the town, taking children and the elderly in the night. It took Rey’s grandfather slowly and painfully. There were blisters on his skin that were an angry red until they would fester and turn black. The doctors did all that they could, but it wasn’t enough. General Obi-Wan Kenobi was dying in his bed and there was nothing that anyone could do about it. Her grandmother, Sabé turned elsewhere to seek help. The church came through with their incense, telling everyone to beg and to repent while they put boards over the windows and doors to keep the “sinners” away from the people that were destined to be saved. Obi-Wan died after a few days and Sabé followed by hours without having been sick. Rey could look back and understand, more than ever before, that it was her broken heart that killed her.         After being left alone in the house for eleven days, with two dead bodies, and a dwindling supply of freshwater, Rey heard the distinct sounds of the boards over the door being ripped from the wood of the frame. A woman came through the gaping entrance. She had kind hands, but hid behind a plague mask. It was ornate though, much nicer than any of the ones that the members of the congregation here wore. Suddenly, the stranger leaned down to pick Rey up. Despite her age, she was impossibly small. For the first time in nearly a fortnight, Rey was brought outside and she winced as the light hit her eyes. The moment she was loaded into a dark carriage, tears stung her eyes and Rey began to sob. The woman in the mask pushed Rey’s hair out of her dirty face and told her that everything would be alright. And it was.         Nine years of splendid happiness. Everyone said she was wise beyond her years; only now did Rey realize it was because of the immense pain that time had brought to her in the time passed. Yet in this new place, she found something that she had never expected to have again-- a home. The woman’s name was Leia and she turned out to be the Queen of a small kingdom called Alderaan. Her husband, King Solo was the rags to riches type and we spent many hours together reading and writing. The person that meant the most to Rey, and continues to do so, would be their son—His Royal Highness, Benjamin James Organa Solo, grandson of Queen Padme Amidala and General Anakin Skywalker, Prince of Alderaan and all of the New Republic.  That was before the war came to Alderaan. ===============================================================================   Winter- 1346 Rey ran through the halls of the palace despite how her nurse chased behind her. The older woman was a few turns behind and the little one knew she had the advantage. Grinning devilishly she heard something along the lines of, “Ladies don’t run, Miss Rey!” from behind her before continuing on her adventure through the castle. In the year that she had been there, Rey had easily memorized all of the passages-- even those that were supposed to be secret. When she couldn’t sleep, it was never a surprise for some guard to find her wandering through the main halls, or a servant to find her running through the helps’ corridors. It was always an adventure to find a new door, or to see a new room, but she had run out of places to hide and was currently looking for a new spot when, to her surprise, she ran into something and fell backwards, catching herself with her wrist. “Hey!” Rey shouted when she fell, but immediately bit back tears and cradled her hand close to her chest. “Who are you?” She muttered ignorantly, brushing her tears away with her free hand. The tall stranger looked down at her before kneeling to look at her hand. He had long black hair that hung in his eyes and the smirk he wore reminded the young girl all too much of Han. “You’re Benjamin aren’t you… The prince I mean.” Benjamin nodded and extended his hand with a pensive expression, “Yes, I imagine you’re my mother’s ward, the little girl from Jakku. Can I see your hand? I want to make sure it’s not seriously hurt. That was quite a fall, little one.” Rey stuck her tongue out at him and the prince scoffed at her impudence, “I’m not little. I’m taller than all the boys my age and all of the girls. Not everyone can be a giant like you, your highness.” At her use of the title in such a way, the prince found no other appropriate response than to laugh. It did surprise him, however, when she offered him the injured joint. After applying gentle pressure in different places, he looked down at her. “Where is your nurse? I’m afraid you might have broken your wrist.” “No way, I’ve never broken a bone before. That’s impossible. I had a horse kick me and I was fine.” Rey rebutted quickly, earning a distasteful groan from Benjamin just as Rey’s nurse rounded the corner. “Miss Rey, what have you done this time? What have I said about the running, you’re going to get seriously hurt one of these-” Benjamin cleared his throat just then, and the nurse shrieked slightly, a sight the young man and girl both found amusing enough to share a quick smile before he stood. “Oh, your highness. I’m very sorry. I was so concerned with the little one that I just..” Benjamin raised a hand, “That’s enough. I understand. I’d like to take her to the physician though, I think she might have damaged the bone if you look at the way it’s swelling and the discoloration there. I feel responsible for getting in her way.” The nurse bowed her head and Rey looked up at her with a grin and the woman scowled at her before disappearing. “Come on, kid.” “I’m not a kid. I’m a girl, and my name is Rey.” She demanded, pulling her hand back in such a manner that brought a stream of tears to her eyes. Ben kneeled back down to her level and brushed her tears away with a gloved hand. “Well, Lady Rey, I do apologize for that, but you are a very strong girl. I don’t know many knights that wouldn’t cry if they had broken a bone.” Her eyes lit up and she immediately buzzed with questions about him. “Yes, yes, little Rey. I train with Sir Luke, and his wife Lady Mara. My brother trained there when he was my age as well. It’s the best knight training school in the whole country.” Benjamin looked down at her, and couldn’t help but smile at how wide eyed and enthralled she was by his tale. “Does that mean you know Jaina and Jacen Skywalker? I want to be just like Jaina. She’s the best knight that there’s ever been, that’s a girl anyways.” “Oh? So you want to be a knight hen do you?” He chuckled softly, putting a hand on her shoulder as he lead her through the castle. “Well maybe one day I’ll see that it happens.” ===============================================================================   It wasn’t three days later that Benjamin was outside with Rey while he watched her swing a sword at a dummy with one hand bandaged tightly where she had indeed broken her wrist. However, it was over a fortnight later that she began to understand and learn how to really work with the weapon. Rey kept her injured hand tucked close to her body, elbows in at her sides like he had shown her. His eyes followed her quick movements, noticing, with a smug satisfaction, that she was particularly talented. “Very good, Rey. That’s enough for now. Go wash up before dinner.” Rey flopped back on the ground, looking up at the vaulted ceiling. “I had my history lesson today…” The prince sat down beside where she had thrown herself, knowing all too well that something had been bothering her the entire time. “We were talking about your family… What happened to Anakin?” “My grandfather? He died in the Great War against the Republic. He defaulted back to-” “No, I know all about your grandfather. It’s one of my favorite stories. I meant your older brother.” Benjamin sighed, pushing a hand back through his hair. “My mother and father refuse to tell me the whole story, but I’ll share what I know with you.” He waited for her eyes to fall on his, giving him her full attention. “As is customary, the first son in every family is destined to do some kind of service to the crown. In Anakin’s case, he was to be the Crown Prince of Alderaan, leader of the Jedi knights, and he would eventually take the throne upon my father’s death. Should there be another son born into royalty, they are sent to give service to the church.” Rey giggled at the simple thought of her Benjamin being a monk, one of the keepers of the word. He narrowed his eyes at her before continuing, “My brother died while I was away at school. That was how I became the crown prince. My uncle Luke brought me from the church that I was training at to his academy where I began my training as a knight.” “So…” Rey sat up carefully, not putting weight onto her bad wrist. “What do you want to do, Ben?” It was a simple question, but she knew all too well that it was one that he never had the chance to answer, just because it was a question he had never been asked. Pausing, “I want… I want to be a knight, I want to lead the Jedi Knights, but I don’t think that I ever want to be king. I would be… Sheltered by a set of rules, and I would lose quite a bit of the freedom that I have. I wouldn’t be able to fight as I please, marry as I chose, or love…” Benjamin forced his gaze off of the little girl, “or love as I wanted.” “Sounds like a horrible life.” Rey responded with a sigh as she pillowed her head against her knees once they were drawn up to her chest. “But, Ben…” He hummed, turning back to look at her, “I think you would make a great king.” Despite having only known this little girl for three weeks, the sentiment of her admission brought a genuine smile to his face. “Thank you m’lady. Now…” He stood and then carefully pulled her up to her feet. “Dinner with me and then hot sweetened milk and a story before bed?” Rey beamed, bobbing her head quickly. It had become a habit since the night they first met, and it was one neither of them would trade for all of the money in their world. ===============================================================================   Spring 1347 “Well, we were laying in the grass outside of the castle, in that big field. The horses were tied off to the big oak tree by the stream and I think there was a blanket laid out with some pillows and lunch.” Rey explained, “The sun was high in the sky, and I was wearing a long, white dress. It was very pretty, I wish you could have seen it. You grabbed my hand and when I turned to look at you…” She blushed brightly, “You kissed me. That’s such a silly notion right, why would you kiss someone like me?” Rey defended, stiffening slightly. Ben kept his comments about how much he might actually want to kiss her to himself. It wasn’t right, She was too young. He constantly had to remind himself of this though so he cleared his throat, “This is hardly sound like a nightmare, Lady Rey.” “Patience, your highness, I’ve just started.” She quipped back quickly, “Then I leaned back when a shadow suddenly moved over us. I looked up and there was… A man, a knight maybe. He was dressed in black armor with silver markings on his mask…” Her eyes glazed over in fear, and despite his best efforts at ignoring the nagging need to hold his Rey, Ben put his hand over hers in a comforting gesture. “He swung a sword made of black metal, and when I looked over you were gone. The grass had died, there were fires in the distance, and he swung down at me… Each night I wake up screaming…” Rey rested her head on his shoulder and rubbed her tired eyes. The prince listened carefully, but knew no advice that he could give her, “Well,” He glanced around the library, but knew it would be empty this late at night. “Sleep here for now, I’ll stay awake and keep you safe.” Rey offered him a small smile, pulling her dressing gown closer to her chest. “Really?” When Ben nodded, she laid her head down onto his thigh, bringing her legs up onto the rest of the couch. His hand ghosted down her arm lightly, before he set to brushing her hair out of her face. The fire flickered in front of the both of them in a soothing way that it wasn’t long until Rey had fallen asleep against him. The prince let his head fall back against the couch before making a silent plea to the gods above. He needed a sign, or a hint, or something to tell him that his affections for the girl were pure, that when she came of age they would be allowed. Rey herself kept no secret of her admiration, but Ben was forced to limit himself. She was too young . It wasn’t uncommon for nobility to take young wives, but more often than not they died before they could see twenty summers. Ben ran his knuckles across her cheek while she slept, damning himself for… this . He wouldn’t see her die so young, not when he had swore, by God himself, that he would protect her at any cost. Even if the cost was to love and be loved in return. Chapter End Notes I would name her nurse, but she is of little consequence to the story and will not be seen again in this. Hope you enjoy it thus far!! ***** In Time Gone By ***** In Time Gone By I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving ===============================================================================   Winter- 1353-January 1354 “There’s nothing that can be done! I don’t understand why that is such a hard concept to grasp. With all due respect, your majesty, there are people dying every day.” Rey shouted at first, but now her voice was barely above a whisper. The sound itself was deadly. “People that don’t deserve to die. This war, is… it’s going to tear this world apart if it does so one person at a time.” Her eyes narrowed at the queen, a silence passing between them that would have easily been missed if one wasn’t paying attention. Leia stumbled over her words. “I… I know, since we lost him…” “I know.” Rey cut in, the words stinging as much as they had the day she heard them first. “But, he- Ben - is watching us from the Lord’s house, and he would not want to see this. How we are dying out slowly, like animals forced to endure a drought. We must prevail.” Leia gripped the arms of the chair that she sat in, but that was enough for Rey to realize that her point had been made. The young woman sat back down in her chair, mimicking the queen’s posture out of habit. What caught her attention though was the way that Leia let out her breath and cast her eyes upon her daughter, “You’ve been wearing black for far too long.” The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the scrape of Rey’s chair as it flew out from behind her. There were no tears on her face, because truly there were no tears left to be shed. The doors opened in front of her as she unceremoniously left the council chambers. The sound of hasty footfalls followed her and her personal guard came up beside her, grabbing her hand in his own. “Rey… Listen. I know what you’re trying to say, what you’re trying to do.” “ No. ” She answered in a fierce tone, tugging her hand from his grasp, only to have his fingers encircle her wrist. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be alive when it should have been me that died! Why have I survived this? He was meant for this crown, not me. Yet if I do not take it who will? Who will rule if not me? Who will show courage if not me?” Suddenly, Finn’s body was pressed close to hers, and the young woman limply held onto him. Sobs broke out against the familiar leather of his armor, and Finn just held her tightly, gently rubbing her back in as soothing a manner as he possibly could. Rey’s mind wandered as she calmed down and she pried them away from Ben and forced them onto the war. Her voice was thick, “Is there any more word on Kylo Ren?” She questioned, stepping back, and rubbed the tears and redness from her eyes and cheeks. “Not so far as I’ve heard though the rumors are of great concern to all of us. If what they say is true… We won’t be fighting for much longer.” Kylo Ren turned out to be the knight from her nightmares. Black and silver armor, with a sword that seemed to be forged of darkness itself. Was this man death in disguise? It felt like the apocalypse. Plague still ran rampant through the country, now infecting the large cities as well as the sprawling countryside. Then the drought was killing out the livestock, leaving people in the midst of a large famine. If Death came with the war than certainly the apocalypse was upon them. Rey crossed herself at the thought. Her maid had turned over her blankets a few hours ago, and she knew that the bed would be cold by now. Yet, a part of her felt th at it had to be before she would ever enter it. “So long as I’m around you’ll never sleep in a cold bed.” “Why? Because you’re so lazy that you turn in early every night?” “You can’t talk to me like that.” “Please excuse me, your highness .” A shiver rolled down her spine and Rey slammed her book closed, leaving it on her desk before she moved over towards the window. Her chambers were on the side of the castle that bordered the sea. The waves crashed softly against the sand, offering some calm in the storm that had become her life. There were the echos of cannon fire, the clash of swords, and the twang of bow strings being released from the wall. The siege had finally settled on the citadel’s walls. Though impregnable, they would be forced to surrender soon, else everyone would perish. Finn’s warnings followed in her memory, “They say that he is stronger than a hundred men, that he can wipe out an entire battalion with one swing of his sword… That death follows him wherever he goes. He wears chains upon his wrists. Do you think it possible that The First Order could have captured Death himself?” Rey laughed at the notion, but as the castle trembled beneath her feet, she wondered if perhaps she hadn’t given this formidable man the credit he deserved. Rey let out a sigh, but looked up when her door opened. “Lady mother, Hayden had another nightmare. He asked me to get you.” The small voice brought a genuine smile to Rey’s face and she stood, smoothing out her gown. “Lest he be kept waiting, Lady Charlotte.” The little girl’s nose wrinkled and she ran up to Rey, clutching onto her skirt. Charlotte rolled her eyes, “I believe I requested that I never be called that again.” “Yes, yes, of course, princess. I remember now.” Hayden had been born sick, where his sister was strong and healthy. Some people said that it was an omen about the future of the kingdom, Rey hadn’t cared in the slightest. They were alive and that’s all that mattered. Charlotte had taken on the role of his caretaker even at their young age. When Rey spent time with them, it was almost as though she would speak for the both of them. Hayden would be the king, but there was no doubt that Charlotte would act as his regent, and would rule at his side, even when he took a wife. Rey couldn’t have been more proud, and she knew that Ben would have felt the same. When she sat beside her son, Charlie took the other side of the bed. “How is my little prince?” Rey hummed, brushing his platinum hair out of his face before replacing the cool rag upon his brow. “I’ve-” he coughed a few times, but thank the Lord that it came with a dry sound, “I’ve been feeling better, do you think maybe I could go outside with Charlie tomorrow, Lady mother? I would love to see the snow.” Charlie frowned down at him, shaking her head. “I hardly think that’s a good idea, Hayden.” For someone so young, her voice was impressively regal, “Mother wouldn’t have you getting sicker when you’ve only just started to get well again.” He sigh was sad, but Charlie brushed her lips over his temple, “But we can certainly go to the library if you’re feeling up to it, maybe mother can read us a story. One of the fairy tales.” Rey put a hand over her chest, willing her heart to slow down, willing the pain to stop. “Perhaps, my little children. Perhaps I will.” “Can you tell us about the one in the apple orchard?” Hayden requested softly, looking up at his mother with horribly glassy eyes. Rey’s brows knitted themselves together, but he answered her question shortly after she had thought it. “I know that one is Charlie’s favorite. She like the romance part when the prince kissed the princess.” “No- That’s not what I said. My favorite part was that she wasn’t a princess, she was just a girl, and that she kissed him. The other way is just silly. We’re going to have a lot to teach you before you can even think about getting married.” Hayden stuck his tongue out at his sister just before she rolled her eyes and snuggled down under the covers beside him. “Well, if it is her favorite, then I could always just tell you now. I know that one by heart.” ===============================================================================   Summer 1347 Rey was at the top of an apple tree, her legs swinging out beneath her as she bit into an apple. “You know that if you fall and get hurt, my mother would legitimately consider cutting my head off. Right?” Ben demanded from the ground. He had grown since last Christmas, at least half a foot. When she jumped down so carelessly, he almost cringed away from it. “You know, you’re going to get hurt one of these days, Lady Rey.” She smirked, peeking around the tree at the prince. “Perhaps, but I haven’t fallen yet, and now that you’re back, I’ve got someone to catch me.” Tossing him an apple that she had hidden in the folds of her skirts, Rey darted off between the trees. Laughter filled the warm air around them both, and it filled her lungs with more than just breath. It wasn’t soon enough that his arms were wrapped around her waist and she was flush to his chest. It took a bit of wiggling but soon she was facing him with her hands pressed firmly against his chest.His cheeks flushed brightly and Rey managed not to make a sound. There was a tense silence about them, and Rey could only imagine what he was thinking until he finally broke that silence about them. “Happy Twelfth Birthday, Lady Rey.” He moved her hands from his chest and gently brushed his lips across her knuckles. It was her turn to blush a bright crimson. “I hadn’t even remembered it was today, if I’m being honest, your highness. It humbles me that you would have remembered.” Ben rolled his eyes and gave her a lightly pinch in the side. “Don’t ever speak to me like that, you make me feel old.” He made the quick mistake of turning his back on her and she was quick to sneak up behind him and sweep his feet from under him. The prince crashed down to the ground, grabbing her wrist as a last resort. Rey grunted when she fell flat into his chest, even if he did cushion her fall. When she went to sit up, Ben held her close with a smug smirk. “Where is it that you’re off to in such a hurry, ma’am.” He snickered and when she swatted at him, he caught her wrist. “Off to-” Rey struggled against his tight, but not at all hurtful grip, “Find someone to celebrate with, because you’re horrendous. I highly doubt you would grant me my single wish even if it is my birthday.” She pouted, refusing to look him in the eye. Ben frowned slightly and then pushed up slightly so that she could settle in a more comfortable position. “Rey, I would give you anything that you asked for, you should know this.” Ben said, his voice the epitome of sincerity before he brushed a loose curl behind her ear. When she met his gaze, his attentions were settled on her face, seeming to map out the features as his eyes moved softly over her. “Anything?” Rey challenged, enjoying that he was playing right into her little trap. When Ben leaned in, she plucked the circlet from his head and dropped it on her own, earning a chuckle that seemed to come from both of them at the same time. “Even this?” He echoed her, rolling his eyes, but not before touching their foreheads together. “What if…” She pulled back, sparing a hand to cup his cheek, “I asked you to kiss me?” Ben blinked at her, swallowed, and then slowly leaned in to her... ===============================================================================   Winter- 1353-January 1354 (continued) “See!” Hayden snapped at his sister, “I told you that he’s the one that kissed her!” Rey chuckled, kissing his cheek while Charlie crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly. Rey waited for the rebuttal that Hayden would no doubt accept as fact, “Yeah-” it began, “Well he wouldn’t have kissed her if she didn’t ask him to, so technically it’s still her fault.” “Do you two want me to continue or should I stop here?” “No, mummy!” The both shouted in unison, “Please do more. This is the best part!” Charlie continued and Rey let out a small sigh. “As you wish.” ===============================================================================   Summer 1347 (continued) “As you wish.” Ben murmured, closing his eyes long enough to think, to rationalize just what he was doing before gently pressing his lips over hers. Rey went to lean into the kiss but he pulled back and her nose hit roughly into hers. She gasped, holding her face, pulling back before chuckling. The young woman chuckled softly as he pulled away as well. Upon seeing her, he also started to chuckle. Rey leaned forward, stealing another kiss from his lips. The prince gently put his hand on her shoulder, guiding her away from him. “Rey, you don’t know what this means…” She shook her head slowly, “Ben, I don’t care. Anything that comes from it, it’s something that I want. I promise you this with… With all of my heart.” Rey looked away and Ben cupped her cheek, tilting it so that she was forced to look him in the eyes. “Ben, what are you..” “I love you.” ===============================================================================   Winter- 1353-January 1354 (continued) The children had fallen asleep shortly after she had continued and Rey kissed each of them lightly on their foreheads when she had the realization that there was something else that could be done to protect them. Her brother arrived the next morning, the children all too happy to see their Uncle Poe, all too happy to go with him for the rest of the summer where they would be safe. Where they would find themselves in the orchard of their fairy tale. Poe came up to her, kissed either of her cheeks and after lunch, he took her children. Soon enough, she was on her way to see the queen, where she would volunteer as a spy in the enemy kingdom. ***** Then I Was Young and Unafraid ***** Chapter Notes I'm sorry. Jk. I'm not. You were warned. This chapter is NSFW (under age but consensual), easily avoided in the second section for Winter 1351, you don't have to read it if you don't want to, just thought I would give the heads up. Then I Was Young and Unafraid Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung No wine untasted ===============================================================================   Summer 1354 Al’akhira was cold. There was snow on every inch of the visible ground and everything that wasn’t white was gray. The sky was filled with dark ominous clouds, blocking out the sun just enough that the looming citadel seemed to be kept in an eerie twilight. Rey tugged her cloak around her a bit tighter, pulled her bag a bit closer, and walked a little faster towards the iron gates. Once inside the atmosphere changed… but not drastically. Aside from the quiet chatter between vendors and buyers about the price of an apple, or a pound of milled wheat, there was little noise being made. No children laughed, no voices sang, and there was not a single moment that she hadn’t felt watched. A shiver ran down her spine as she followed a few bustling servants towards a door cut into the stone of the castle itself. A young man stopped her almost immediately though. “Well you certainly aren’t from around here.” He quipped, catching her elbow with a brow raised, Rey paled immediately, ice running through her veins in the place of blood. “Come on, I’ve got a heavier cloak in my chambers that you can use. You’ll freeze like that, particularly going in and out of the castle.” The dark-skinned soldier spoke, shaking his head slightly. Rey only managed to catch some of what he said under his breath, “Servants… freezing, and he wonders…” Rey, for the first time in her journey, cracked into a slight smile-- at least she wasn’t alone in her thinking. The young woman couldn’t be certain about what made her trust this man so implicitly , so suddenly, but it was like a slice of home, a sliver of light and warmth in the wasteland that was Al’akhira. ===============================================================================   The soldier’s name turned out to be nothing more than a code, FN-2187. He explained that, according to the king, soldiers deserved no identity for they were no more than an extension of the Empire’s will and great strength. He often shared meals with her, and more often offered her a place on the couches in his rooms where the fire was lit and the blankets weren’t threadbare. Rey relied on him for information about what was going on, and he relied on her for “comfort”. They fell into place together, and let the rumors stir in the boiling pot. Rey, or Kira as she went by, was labeled a whore almost immediately and was said to attend to the needs of men. She shared drinks with Finn and laughed at the notion… If they only knew where his interests truly lay. “They say that the North tower is haunted…” Finn began, nursing a cup of warm sweetened wine. Rey looked up for a moment, seeing the firelight flickering against his skin from where they sat a foot or so from the hearth. The wind had picked up and the colors dulled. For a moment, she saw him shiver in fear. Snorting, Rey couldn’t help herself, “I don’t believe in ghosts, that’s such a silly idea.” “Well, I mean obviously it’s not a real ghost, people just hear moaning and screaming coming from that tower, and then no one is allowed there. The king stated that the structure of the building was compromised in the last siege so he doesn’t want any of his lambs to be slaughtered.” Finn remarked, but the bitter tone in his voice peaked Rey’s interest and she put her hand over his, “ I just wish I could get out of here. I would never look back.” “You can, remember what I told you about where I’m from?” When he nodded, she continued, “Well, the Resistance is always looking for fighters like you-” His eyes widened and Rey immediately put a finger over his lips. No one was safe- - not from the ears of the emperor, “You could go, they would welcome your skills and everything you know, I’ll even write you a letter to take with you, one to vouch for your character that way they wouldn’t question you, but… I want you to take me to the north tower first. I want to see what everyone is talking about.” Winter 1351 “So long as I’m around you’ll never sleep in a cold bed.” “Why? Because you’re so lazy that you turn in early every night?” “You can’t talk to me like that.” “Please excuse me, your highness. I seem to have forgotten my manners.” Rey smiled at Ben from where she sat behind the too large oak desk. The young girl closed the leather bound book that had been sat in front of her. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re ever going to leave my room.” The prince chuckled and pulled the blankets up to his chin. She turned stood slowly, “You know, Ben… I’ve been thinking.” “Well that’s not good.” Ben hummed, sitting up to watch her walk over towards him. For a moment, he hesitated, but opened the blankets up for her, grabbing her hand to pull her down into bed with him. Rey didn’t hesitate in the slightest when it came to crawling down beside him, but paused before pushing her fingers through his hair. “I’ve been thinking myself, that maybe… I’m thinking about speaking to my mother about marrying sometime soon. It’s time for there to be something happy to tell the people.” Rey immediately drew her fingers back, “And what will I become then? Some relique of your past. Get-” His lips were over hers an instant later and he stared at her with one of those looks and she blushed, turning the color of the maroon sheets that were tucked beneath her. “Oh. Oh. ” Her breath left her suddenly and sat down on the edge of her bed, putting her hand on her chest. “ Ben .” The young prince crawled behind her and pressed his lips lightly to the curve of her throat, “Yes, Rey. Should I ask formally or should I let you piece together some more conclusions on your ow-” He yelped when she elbowed him in the chest. Despite the violence in the action, her intent was innocent and Ben chuckled when she flipped around and laid flat on top of him, grinning from ear to ear. Tucking a curl behind her ear, “I know you’re young, young enough that you have all the time in the world to find someone closer to your age to love you the way I do, but I will never see anyone in the same light nor will I ever love someone with a fraction of the magnitude that I love you.” She was crying at this point, but the way her cheeks were flushed, and the way she gnawed on her bottom lip eased his worry that this would end badly. “Rey Kenobi, will you… one day, marry me?” ===============================================================================   Summer 1354 It seemed like ages had past since she said yes to such a simple question, yet it was just that they were both captivated in the moment, stuck in that fraction of time together, but now that the snow piled heavy on the grounds, it was harder to sneak around the outside of the buildings, so Rey risked getting caught, but still stayed inside. Finn had shown her a few nights ago where the tower was, and how to find the entrance. As promised, she wrote him the letter and he disappeared. Some romantic part of her hoped that he would be happy there, that he would find someone to love him the way that he loved life. A small smile grew and then faded. The guard rotation would be there soon. The door creaked loudly and Rey slipped into the opening the second it was big enough and closed it almost all the way behind her. This was it. Much to her surprise, she saw a faint light around the immediate corner and followed it. When she saw the first torch, it came as no surprise with the sheer magnitude of the tower. Yet there were rows of torches. They staggered from her left to her right every ten feet or so. In fact, this corridor might have been lit better than the grand hall. Trying not to make a sound, Rey walked on the tips of her toes through the hall, sneaking down the spiral steps when she heard it…  The hair on the back of her neck stood erect, her heart pounded, and every inch of her body tenses, trying to run from the sound wave that slammed into her. It was human, but only barely. The ghost of the North Tower… That rational part of her was silent after hearing how people that travelled down here never made it out alive again. Then there was something else though, a strange feeling welled in her stomach that was different than the fear that originally struck her… Gathering herself, Rey traveled further down the steps and came face to face with a solid oak door. She would have to shove with all of her strength to get it to open, so when it budged without a shove, Rey stepped back again. The pull came again, tugging at her viscera with an unmeasurable strength and she slipped past the door, eyes focusing in the dark… It wasn’t the lack of light that concerned her though, but the smell was unbearable. The whole room reeked of death, blood, and rotten flesh. Her stomach turned and Rey’s stomach turned, nearly turning inside out. Bunching up her dress sleeve, she managed to buffer the worst of it though her eyes still burned and the darkness blinded her. When she followed the sliver of light across the floor, her eyes fell upon a mop of messy black hair and skin littered with blistering and infected sores that were layered over scars of different ages. The man on the ground was large, but impossibly weak… What did he do to deserve this? His mouth hung open and soft cries left his lips though they fell against the stone blocks of the floor. They were nonsensical until she actually started to listen. “Help…. Me… I… My wife… My Rey…” ===============================================================================   Winter 1351 It wasn’t unusual, to Rey anyway, for them to share a bed. As routine would have it, they would eat and the strong flavors of the wine would lull Rey into a drowsy state. Ben would bring her back to her rooms for the first few weeks, then he wouldn’t sleep at all for a few more. Eventually, after quite a bit of sleepy pleading, Ben ended up behind her. His arms would always be wrapped tightly around her and Rey felt safe . “Come on-” He urged, stealing her from her thoughts as he climbed into bed, pulling the blankets out of order to accommodate the both of them as the chill of the night settled in. Rey played with the bow on the collar of her night shift, twisting the fraying ends between her thumb and forefinger. “What is it?” Ben asked softly, sitting up, that air of concern filling her with a genuine excitement that crept up to her cheeks as a rosy blush. “Nothing… I just… Well…” Feeling brave, Rey gently tugged at the strand, and the fabric slipped down off of one of her shoulders, baring the top of her chest and the delicate angle of her collarbones. “I thought tonight… Maybe…” Ben had gotten out of bed soundlessly, and held the shoulder of her nightdress up, keeping it from slipping any further. His cheeks were red, and Rey smiled slightly-- she had already won. Ben’s voice was rough, sounding unused, “We shouldn’t, we’re not… You…” Rey raised her brows and put her hands flat against his chest, “I know we shouldn’t, I know we’re not married, but we are engaged, so you have intent… I’ll be fine.” She pressed against the ground with the balls of her feet, tangling her fingers into the short curls at the base of his neck. “Do you want to? And I don’t want to know if you think we should, or anything like that, Ben.” Her lips grazed across his jaw; she knew the action drove him mad from those evenings where he would want no more than to kiss her silly. Come to think of it, there was not a night that Rey’s lips weren’t swollen. His response was physical. Ben grabbed Rey by the hips so suddenly that she was gathered into his arms and her feet barely touched the floor. A sound left her mouth that Ben drank into a hungry kiss. She hadn’t known what to expect in asking, but this… Was everything she could have dreamed of. Her fingers scraped against his scalp. His tongue dragged across her lips. Her body arched into his, lips parting. He carried her to the bed and pressed her down into the plush mattress. “Yes…” Ben answered her forgotten question, “Yes, I want to, I have for ages.” Some misplaced part of her should have been terrified of that look in his eyes, but Rey responded with a fierce kiss, and tugged his shirt over his head. She would never forget the intricate crisscrossing of scars across his pale skin, or the way that his whole chest flushed as he bore himself to her. Ben was the gentle one and slowly lifted the material off of her, following the hem of the fabric with a soft touch. Rey mewled at his caresses, her back bowing off the bed in a beautiful arch. She thought she knew pleasure until his lips bruised where the slender column of her throat joined her shoulder. Rey moaned. The animalistic sound served only to make his desire to please her more intense and he slipped a hand down the flat planes of her stomach and gently hooked a single digit inside of her. Rey’s eyes snapped open and before she could make any more noise. Ben soothed her with a gentle kiss. “Do you want me to stop?” She shivered and then shook her head, mumbling about wanting him,  “Tell me… If you do, Rey…” He made her promise before pressing the heel of his palm against her hot flesh. “O-oh.” She gasped when she leaned up to kiss him. Something about the pressure of his hand and the slow pulsing of his finger made her dizzy. “I…” Ben stole her words without second thought and then moved slowly, deepening his actions while pressing a bit harder. Rey slipped a hand between them, feeling his solid body above her while also drifting lower. Just as her fingers brushed the tightly wound curls that she knew would surround his manhood, the digits that were so expertly working her circled around her wrist. Ben brought her fingers up to his mouth and kissed each one with diligence and care, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll take care of myself once I’m done with you.” The heavy tone of his voice sent tendrils of arousal through her body and Rey nodded as he went back to work. She was left to stare at the canopy, though her eyes hardly ever focused. His lips formed a circle around one of her nipples, suckling it until it was hard before moving to the next one. Suddenly, there was a stretch and a burn, Rey growled and her fingers dug into the sheets beneath her, but then the pressure subsided, building differently. His thumb flicked against her and each time he slipped through her heat, Rey’s legs twitched. His amusement was palpable, but how could she care… it felt so good . The pressure mounted on top of itself as his thumb circled and rubbed and stroked until Rey could have sworn she was hanging over the edge of a cliff, waiting to either die or be saved. When it ended . Rey whined, looking up at him, only to be met with a fierce kiss and more burning between her legs. She bit his lip so hard it drew blood, but Ben didn’t pull away, he nuzzled against her, “You need to relax, Rey. I swear, it will hurt less if you do.” The young woman closed her eyes with a small nod and focused on letting the pain go. His fingers had stilled, but his thumb was back, massaging her as she got used to the stretch of his three fingers buried knuckle deep into her womanhood. Ben brought her back to that edge, this time it was different… stronger… his fingers worked harder, thumb circled faster, and, oh, did her whole body react. The onslaught eventually became too much, “ Ben !” She shrieked, grabbing his wrist just as all of that tension inside of her snapped. Somewhere in the haze of it all, there was a sharp pain, but nothing compared to the reeling that her mind did in the aftermath of the orgasm. When she finally came down far enough to realize where she was, Rey cupped Ben’s cheek and kissed his bruised bottom lip where she had bitten it and then again for good measure. “How do you feel?” He whispered against her skin, their bodies flush and he then buried his face into her chest, sucking on her sternum and fleshy breasts. Rey smiled happily before moaning in response. Her head fell to the side and Ben even laughed a little when he felt one of her fingers loosely slip into his hair. “That’s good…” He smirked, purring lightly against her skin. “Once more then?” Rey propped herself up onto an elbow, forcing Ben to look up at her, but when she went to glance between their bodies, Ben caught her chin. “I told you I would take care of it, didn’t I?” he whispered, sucking her bottom lip playfully between his teeth, tugging the flesh back before letting it snap closed. “I just…” The hoarseness and fragility of her own voice surprised her and she met his gaze, “I wanted to… You know…” “And we will. Lay back down…” He punctuated his sentence with a roll of his hips and while it s t u n g , there was still pleasure in it. Her eyes brimmed with tears that he was quick to wipe away with the pad of his thumb, still dripping from her orgasm. “Shh, shh, shh, I know it hurts. I know. It will get better.” Rey cut him off with a very small, “You promise?” Ben smiled, massaging her breast with one hand, teasing the rosy nipple with a kiss. Her chest lifted to his ministrations, giving no hint that she was in pain and he nodded. “Yes, Rey. I promise.” ===============================================================================   Throughout the night he was gentle with her, easily guiding his length in and out of her body, rolling his hips so that his body pressed against all those places she was sensitive. Rey lost count of how many times he felt her pulsing inside of him, his body bent over hers in the throes of passion and exhaustion. When breakfast came the next morning, Rey couldn’t help but giggle at the expression of the servant that brought a tray of food. Regardless, a second came a few moments later. Of course there would be rumors, and nasty lies to be told about them, but there was not a single piece of her that could be brought to the threshold of caring what they had to say. Not until the war came to Alderaan. ===============================================================================   Summer 1354 “ Ben… ” No. It couldn’t be. He was dead. He had to be dead… dead. Not this. Not reduced to this heap on the floor. Tears rolled down her face, but she was already blinded by the darkness. What fear had settled in her stomach turned into anger. The ice in her veins was replaced with a fiery hatred. What man had done this to the Prince of Alderaan? To her lover? To her fiance? To the father of her children? “I’ll be back. I promise you.” She whispered, having fallen to her knees beside him. “You can’t tell Hux that I’m here, okay, but I promise I’m going to get you out of here. Alright?” When Ben looked up at her, Rey nearly broke into sobs at his expression. The fear she felt coming down here was nothing compared to what terror she saw in his eyes. Despite the dirt and the grime and the filth, Rey pressed a kiss to his temple and carded her fingers through his hair. “It’s me, Ben. I swear. I’m really here.” Her voice was thick, choked by the weight of the realization-- the Empire had Ben and she was powerless without help to save him. If only she hadn’t sent Finn away so soon. When the prince looked up at her again, there was a flicker of realization… he remembered… “Rey…” Rey nodded furiously at the sound of his voice and held him for as long as she could, whispering to him over and over how she was going to get them both out of there. She told him that he needed to hold on, just for a little longer. Eventually, he fell asleep with his head in her lap, her fingers tangled up with the matted strands. Oh, how he would loathe having to cut it all off when he returned to Alderaan-- not if, but when . Rey collected herself, and pressed a kiss to his temple before slipping out from underneath him. It took all of her strength to creep back out of the door… To leave him there in such a state but it and to be done if she wanted to live through the ordeal. Her distraction made her careless, and unobservant. Her heart swelled with the idea of a homecoming, with the thought that they would live the rest of their years together with their two children; they would be happy. Her dreams would come crashing down her moments later as a gloved hand snaked around her neck and pinned her to the stone wall. Rey gasped immediately, fighting at her unseen assailant. “Get off of me-” She croaked, but her toes barely scraped across the ground. They were strong-- a guard perhaps. But that fiery red hair… No. “Come now, child. Surely we don’t want to end the fun too soon.” It was over, and Rey felt the king dragging her down into unconsciousness. 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