Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13353096.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Erwin_Smith/Mike_Zacharias, Levi_&_Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Carla_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Erwin_Smith, Petra
      Ral, Hange_Zoë, Mike_Zacharias, Isabel_Magnolia, Furlan_Church, Djel
      Sanes, Hitch_Dreyse, Grisha_Yeager, Mikasa_Ackerman, Armin_Arlert, Eld
      Jinn, Oluo_Bozado, Gunther_Schultz, Reiner_Braun, Annie_Leonhart, Bertolt
      Hoover, Moblit_Berner
  Additional Tags:
      Shapeshifting, Alternate_Universe_-_Gangsters, Military, Garrison_-
      Freeform, Physical_Abuse, Emotional_Abuse, Panic_Attacks, Kissing, Loss
      of_Virginity, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Emotional_Baggage, Character_Death,
      Minor_Character_Death, Gun_Violence, Hand_Jobs, Anal_Fingering, Blow
      Jobs, First_Time, First_Love, Anal_Sex, Porn_With_Plot, Angst, Mating
      Cycles/In_Heat, Slow_Build, Disney_Movies, Protectiveness, Memory_Loss,
      Loss_of_Control, Loss_of_Innocence, Loss_of_Trust, Loss_of_Limbs,
      Misunderstandings, One-Sided_Attraction, Unrequited_Love, Not_Actually
      Unrequited_Love, Falling_In_Love, Eventual_Smut, Eventual_Romance, Past
      Relationship(s), Blood_and_Injury, Major_Character_Injury, Anxiety,
      Separation_Anxiety, Top_Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Bottom_Eren_Yeager,
      Riding, Grinding, Dry_Humping, non-con_not_from_Levi, Suicidal_Thoughts,
      Artist_Eren_Yeager, Character's_Name_Spelled_as_Hanji, Tall_Levi_
      (Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Short_Eren_Yeager, like_the_slowest_build_ever,
      like_they_don't_even_met_until_like_chapter_8_or_9, Protective_Levi_
      (Shingeki_no_Kyojin)
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-01-12 Updated: 2018-03-26 Chapters: 17/? Words: 100867
****** What's left of me ******
by songbird462
Summary
     All Eren has ever known is the four walls of his empty cage. He can’t
     remember how he got there and who brought him, but he only remembers
     his mother’s plea to run and hide. He’s been haunted by her words for
     years and constantly reminded of his failure with every passing day.
     With the only break from experimentations and torment is a friendly
     nurse, who can see past his monstrous abilities and promises to help
     him escape, he can only hold onto a slither of hope that his pain
     will end soon. When his nurse finds a way out, Eren finds himself
     wondering what his life could be and if he could ever experience
     anything but pain again.
Notes
     I'm soooo late hopping on this train, but this is my first work and
     I'm a little nervous to post it but I've had these ideas running
     through my head for more than two years and finally have the
     confidence to write everything down and post them. I mostly am going
     to only upload once on the weekends but depending on how much time I
     can put into writing, I may upload twice a week! Hope you enjoy!
     Comments are always welcomed!
***** Mother's Words *****
Eren... Eren! Shh, I need you to- please listen to me, baby! You’re going to
hide and be quiet, understand me? Don’t come out. No matter what you hear or
see, we’re playing hide and seek, remember, don’t move. If they find you, run…
Baby, we’re playing tag too, you can’t be tagged… Sweetie, please don’t cry, I
know you’re scared but we need to play our game, understand me?... You need to
promise me something, can you do that for me? Keep running, even if you don’t
see me, run to grampa’s house and nowhere else. He’ll take care of you
until-... until I can come get you… What are you talking about silly goose? I’m
not crying... Before the game begins, tell me what I told you...Yes, that’s
good, baby, remember that exactly. My special, brave boy. Now hide! I’ll see
you when the game ends, remember that. Eren, I love you...I love you so much.
***** Chapter 2 *****
His dreams were always the same. His mother’s voice filling his head with
warning, followed by the darkness, an endless black, and he dreaded the moment
when the thin light appeared. The light gave him a view of his room, but his
eyes shut before he could see inside his old bedroom. He knew what he was going
to see. The outcome was always the same and his small frame could do nothing
against the man in black. He anticipated the gunshot...but it still made him
jump, made his ears ring for moments long after the shot fired. The thud of his
mother’s body hitting the carpet never came as a surprise, not after having the
same dream for so long, but the sob that ripped through him and panic that
suffocated him felt like the first time, every time. In the beginning, he kept
his eyes open and saw his mother fall, and he learned remarkably quick not to.
He could see the life leaving her warm eyes, could see his mother slipping away
from her body as she took her last breath, and he wished he could look away
once he saw her but couldn’t. He could never get the image of her dead out of
his head, even when the features of her face were slowly disappearing and he
couldn’t remember anything about her anymore. He knows deep down that this
dream wasn’t just a dream, another form of torment, but a constant reminder of
how he failed. Of how he couldn’t escape even though his mother gave her life
for him.
When Eren woke up from his only dream, his sensitive eyes quickly adjusted to
the unnaturally bright room. To spare them, he attempted to shield them but
came to the realization that his arms were lead, unmoving and tiresome. His
neck groaned and cracked as he took in the overly familiar room. Everything was
white and nothing was private. The walls, tile floor, ceiling, bed frame,
pillows, blankets, and even the damn toilet, next to the bed, was the overused
color. Occasionally, there would be something other than white. Sometimes the
floor would be splattered with red, blood escaping from his wounds and
eventually, his bed would become soiled along with it. Although by the time his
body permitted to rest and he wakes up, the crimson color would be replaced,
once again bathing the room in white with the heavy smell of chemicals. His
nose no longer cringed at it since the heavy fumes and him were well
acquainted. His head ached when he tries to think of how long he’s been in this
room and fails to come up with an answer every time. How could he ever count
the days? Windows were nonexistent and the only form of light came from the
flickering artificial lights above. They never turned off. Always burning
brightly until one of them gives out with a crack and is replaced; the never-
ending cycle. He could count the number of times the guards change shifts but
some feel longer than most. Or it just feels longer because time seems to be
discontinued with certain guards that like to throw slurs and insults at him.
They’ve never once treated him like the person his mother raised him to be,
like he was filth, an animal...a monster. Eren tries to push their words out of
his mind but they sometimes seep into his flesh and taint his inner walls. He
knows deep down, buried within his head, that he deserves this treatment; that
he was truly a freak and doesn’t have the privilege to be shown kindness. He
told himself that he should be grateful that they’ve kept him alive after all
this time, that he’s been serving his usefulness well. The familiar tightness
in his chest reared its head and he forced his stiff neck to look at the
ceiling. He started to count backward from fifteen and kept repeating the
action again until he managed to make the tightness fall apart. He couldn’t
remember anything but the four walls surrounding him and the dark lab down the
hallway that he was dragged to daily but could clearly envision the first time
he woke in this room of never-ending white.
Eren had awoken from a drugged induced nightmare, only the beginning of many to
come, and entered a new one. His twelve-year-old self-had been terrified of
being in the unfamiliar white room and felt sick as it spun and turned
uncontrollably around him. He slowly made out the minimal features of his cage,
the hard bed that he laid on, a small sink, and the toilet that became a quick
friend when he doubled over and emptied an empty stomach into it. When the only
thing he threw up was air and the dry heaving had passed, his vision began to
focus and make out the large porcelain door across the small room. The desire
to leave the shrinking room overcame Eren and he stood on his shaking legs. He
tripped over his feet when he moved to fast but made it to the door. Mind
racing as he gripped onto the handle of the door and yanked with all his might
but nothing happened. His breath caught in his throat as he continued to pull,
push, yank, and put all of his weight into the task. Fresh tears sprinkled his
cheeks when a sense of panic completely sink into his pores.
“Open! Come on, open!” he chanted.
The door remained unmobile. His strength and voice started to diminish as time
passed. When his voice was reduced to nothing, his body slid down the metal and
pressed his hot, wet face into it. Even with his voice becoming hoarse and
nearly gone, he continued to beg against the door to be let out. His mother’s
laugh and gentle smile, which by now he has forgotten, kept echoing inside his
head, turning him into a sobbing mess. He hated crying... but he couldn’t make
himself stop. All he wanted was his mom. Eren didn’t know how long he sat
there, it was long enough for his head to start throbbing painfully and his
eyes to sting everytime he blinked. He tried to replay the events that happened
before he woke up in the strange room but came up short. The last thing he
remembered was his mother alive and them eating lunch together at home... when
his mom was alive.
Days, maybe weeks passed by, he had no idea, and he was offered no contact with
anything. A slot on the bottom of the metal door would deliver him food. It
barely opened enough for the food to slip through and he sat on the floor for
long periods of time to prove to himself that it wasn’t just appearing behind
the door and magically slipping itself through. The amount of food on the tray
was meager at best and almost unbearable to eat. Everything was tasteless. The
meat, if there was any, was either tough and required too much effort to rip
apart with his hands or teeth or so chewy that it felt more like gum that lost
its taste than actual food. He quickly learned that crying got him nowhere but
a painful headache and leaving him feeling exhausted beyond words. Whenever he
wasn’t sleeping or eating, he would sit on top of the hard mattress, placing
his only blanket, white like everything else in his cage, on top of his head
while he stares at the wall. Eren knew that there was people outside of his
walls. When he pressed his ears against the metal and ignored the buzzing of
silence in his other ear, he could hear faint whispering on the other side of
the door. They were too hushed to understand and he wondered for so long if it
was truly just his imagination, slowly turning him mad from the amount of time
he was surrounded by silence.
He constantly thought of his mother, the features of her face and the
gentleness of her voice began to fade away at a startling pace. All the effort
that he took to latch onto his memories of her were turning into a waste, and
it was the same when he tried to remember his two friends. Eren could envision
playing together with them and the numerous sleepovers that the three of them
had but a heavy gray fog was covering their faces. Even when their mouths moved
to speak, nothing came out, like they were all submerged underwater. When he
thought of his friends and mother, a heavy pressure pressed against his chest
and it became hard to take a breath. It felt as if he was being dragged deep
into the ocean and he couldn’t escape no matter how he tried fighting against
the current or to vanquish the thoughts out of his mind.
He believed that an extensive amount have time passed before his schedule of
solidarity changed, and he only believed it because the clothes that he wore
since he arrived had shrunk on his frame. Eren had awoken from another
recurring nightmare to feel painful pulsing and a burning sensation erupting
from his chest. He’d never felt that intense of pain before, not even when he
broke his arm over a bet gone bad with another one of his faceless friends. His
hands clawed at his bare chest, trying to focus precious air into his lungs and
the panic rapidly descending upon him hadn’t helped his breathing. I’m going to
die.
I’m going to DIE! I’M GOING TO DIE!
He didn’t notice that he wasn’t screaming in fear just in his head but his lips
were moving along with the words, his throat beginning to scratch. Whether it
be from screaming or trying to breath, he couldn’t tell, couldn’t care. Many
times since he’s been trapped in his solitary he’s yearned for the end of
silence and to slip into an endless sleep where he would never wake up and see
the white walls again, but he was a coward. Even though his room being mostly
bare, the many hours of solitude let his mind run wild with ideas and creative
ways to rid himself. However, the words that plagued his nightmares, his
mother’s words, comes screaming and destroying every thought that didn’t have
to do with living. In that moment of extreme pain, every thought he ever had of
ending himself vanished. Eren never wanted to feel something like this ever
again. The muscles in his limbs began to spasm and seize, making them useless
to move, and his fingers numbed. The screamed that escaped his throat burned as
his chest pain increased dramatically, sweat beginning to flood his forehead
and back. He looked down to see a crimson rash breaking out on his chest and
the muscles spasming at different rates. The pain never lessened, only
increased as the only thing he could do was curl into a ball and beg for it to
go away. His screams continued to bounce off the walls and Eren never wished
harder to see his mother again, for her to hold him through the pain. If this
was the way he was going, he wanted to see her one last time.
“Sedate him! Now!” a noise boomed through the room.
Eren pushed through the burning to snap his eyes open, trying to block it out
enough to take in the sight in front of him. He had to been having a near-death
experience because the metal, sealed door was wide open and two large men stood
next to him. He couldn’t make anything out about them besides the black uniform
that hug their bodies, nothing to prove that he wasn’t truly hallucinating
their presence. One of them reached for his arm, which he tried to pull away
but it did nothing but seize in the man’s hand. The man pulled a syringe from
his back pocket, sending Eren more into a panic. He tried using his legs to
kick the man away from his, screaming louder, but the needle still sank through
his flesh. He managed to knock the needle out from his wiggling, only after the
liquid had been pushed into his blood, and soon his vision began to become
unfocused. “No! No! No!” he heard himself yelling as the haze continued to take
over. He tried to fight against the drug but was quickly losing. This was the
moment he’s waited in isolation for, what he’s been waiting for since being
introduced into this prison. He’s been wanting nothing more than to understand
why he had to deal with his solitude. Now the opportunity was slipping through
his fingers and there was nothing to stop it, nothing to do but surrender
himself to the haze. His vision began to tunnel until the darkness engulfed his
eyes and he couldn’t tell if the screaming in his ears was still him or echoes.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     So this is fact going to be a very slow build, like Levi isn't going
     to be even introduced for a couple of more chapters, but I hope that
     you still enjoy the journey to eventually see our grumpy captain!
Eren was greeted by a painful pulsing through his head as he came out of the
drugged haze of sleep. The drowsiness of his body and heavy limbs reminded him
of the first time he awoke in the white room. He honestly couldn’t care about
ending up in his old bed or the drug-induced sleep, but rather that he wasn’t
becoming insane. All that time spent in solitude, imagining the voices in
outside his prison and believing everything was inside his decaying brain,
wasn’t true. Now he knew. Eren wasn’t going insane or falling victim to his
mind. He knew the truth and couldn’t figure out if there was relief rushing
through his chest or betrayal. There were people outside of his doors, just
feet, maybe inches away, while he rotted away in silence. While he laid on the
overly familiar mattress, the questions of whys kept circling in his head and
they soon turned old.
Why was I placed here? Why did they isolate me? Why didn’t anyone give me a
sign that I wasn’t alone? Where was I?
All the questions kept piling on top of each other, demanding to be answered
first, but there was nothing to give. It didn’t help with his growing headache
too. When he finally had the courage to open his eyes to the white cell and
found himself right where he was before his small world crashed once again. His
eyes drifted to the far-too-familiar white ceiling and his heart began to sink.
He had hoped at least that he would be surrounded in a new environment at least
with this new development, but nothing. However, when he tried to shield his
eyes from the fluorescent lights his arms fell short and felt a slight pressure
around his wrists. Confused, he found beige wrappings encasing his wrists that
were tied to the bed on either side of him. Seeing another color besides white
seemed almost alien and so strange, especially since they’re attached to him.
It chained him to the bed but most likely gave him enough room to at least sit
up, and possibly lean against the wall. It took some time but the panic
beginning to claw at his chest pushed him to sit up and start yanking on the
restraints. Once he learned that they weren’t magically going to vanish or fall
off with enough force, his breathing became ragged as the weight of the
wrappings seemed to turn into heavy chains. He never wanted to leave his
mattress, the safety of it even if it was just a chunk of padding was
comforting enough but now he was immobile. Before he could truly start
panicking, a foreign rhythmic sound filled the room pulled him out of his
forming panic attack and realized that it was knocking on the door. He’d jumped
at the noise and almost felt his heart beat out of his chest when the knob that
never moved, turned. The door that he spent so much time in front, trying to
pry open and leave the forsaken room, was now becoming ajar and offering
something besides food for the first time. The opening of the previously
unmoving door was short-lived, however, once a tall, large framed man entered
and closed it shut. The man carried himself highly and gave off a sense of
authority that made Eren sink into the mattress. His skin was tan, reminding
him of the way his caramel skin used to glow before he went without sunlight,
but wrinkles covered everywhere that wasn’t covered by the white lab coat. The
top of his head was framed by knotted black hair that was parted slightly to
the left. His dull, pale blue eyes lacked any emotion but excitement and they
were surrounded by crows feet. His clothes blended into the endless white and
in his thin arms was a small, metal slab. He smiled at Eren but the warmth of
it never reached his eyes.
“Hello Eren,” he greeted. “I’m Doctor Djel Sannes, but you can call me Djel.”
This was what Eren had been waiting for. Waiting for someone to talk to him, to
address him and prove that there has been another world outside of his lonely
cell and out of everything he was taking in, he could tell something was off.
Even with his senses becoming overwhelmed with someone in the room with him, he
knew there was something wrong with Djel. Could feel it seeping from him.
“How are you, Eren?” Djel asked.
Not knowing how or what to say, he continued to sit quietly against the wall
and began to fidget with the blanket underneath him. There were too many
thoughts and questions running through his mind that he couldn’t take
everything in, especially with the unknown man in front of him.
“Where am I?” he finally asked.
The sound that came crawling out of his mouth sounded foreign. It didn’t sound
like him, not that he could remember what he sounded like when all he did was
breathe and eat, and just recently screamed. It cracked in the middle of his
question and felt like someone poured liquid sandpaper down his throat. That
question was probably the first time that he’s spoken since the first couple of
times he demanded to be set free when he arrived the first time.
“You’re somewhere safe,” he answered with a reassuring smile.
Eren’s stomach twisted at Djel’s words and didn’t believe anything coming out
of his mouth. He didn’t want to be in the same room with this man. Even though
he’s been yearning, begging, for this moment of human contact since he’s been
locked in this room, but this wasn’t what he expected or wanted. Djel must have
seen the distrust or known that he wasn’t believing anything coming from him
because he let out a sigh and stepped closer. His action caused Eren to press
himself more against the wall, curling more into a ball. He didn’t want the
company of this man, he would rather return to the silence he was  so  fond of
and take his luck of getting someone else’s attention besides this Djel. He
wouldn’t give up this time, not like he did before. Not now when he knew there
were people outside of his walls.
“I know you don’t trust me now, you don’t even know me, Eren. But soon you
will. Everything will be forgiven, you’ll see,” he explained as he came closer
to the bed.
Eren physically couldn’t move closer to the wall, but instead pressed his
skinny legs against his chest. “Forgiven?” he asked.
“Yes, we’ll forgive you for causing such a commotion the other day but it
didn’t disturb our work since we’ve been waiting for so long.”
He kept failing to connect the dots and the ongoing fog surrounding his head
didn’t help.
“We? Wait!-” he began but cut himself short. This could be the chance to
understand how long he’s spent in his prison, to know how much of his life has
been wasted. However, Djel could easily lie about the time to somehow put it to
his advantage. He could feel Djel’s eyes on him as he looked down in
frustration at his bonded wrists. There was no way for Eren to get the upper
hand or have anything in his favor. All he could do was trust the strange and
unknown man in front of him, which was the last thing he honestly wanted to do.
As he continued to collect his thoughts, Djel patiently waited for him, and he
just wanted him out. Another thought came to him, that he could somehow pull
the truth out of him, and not have to sit through the lies, but still didn’t
know how. Finally deciding to just go with it, since he had nothing to lose,
after settling the inner war inside of himself. “How long has it been-?...since
you kidnapped me?”
He had raised his head in time to see something pass in Djel’s eyes that he
couldn’t place. The excitement in them changed slightly, but his fake smile
never faltered.
“You know, son-” Eren’s eyes narrowed at that. “You’re only here for your own
good.”
“My own good?!” he exclaimed.
An old, very familiar energy filled his body. It always caused him grief with
his mother and deserved him more of his scars than an average kid should have.
The fire of anger pulsed through him and the flames licked his iced veins,
turning his vision red. He hadn’t felt this angry since he found himself here.
Eren never wanted this. Who in their right mind would choose to be locked away
rather than staying with their loved ones? It pissed him off even more that
Djel purposely avoided his question, but worried him at the same time. He
probably wouldn’t like the answer that Djel had, no matter the actual amount of
time that passed.
“And kidnap is such a negative term, think of it as more of...rescuing,” Djel
continued.
Eren felt his hands ball into a fist, wanting nothing more to rip through his
restraints and resort going back to his old ways of violence first, words
later.
“Now, I know that you probably have a lot of questions-...some that we’ll be
answering later rather than sooner, but I’ll start off by explaining why you’re
here,” he explained as he started to open the metal slab in his hands. The
sound of circulating air emerged from the machine and Djel started pressing
buttons on the device. Eren recognized it as a laptop, but it looked more
compact and expensive to the block of metal his father had used for storing
patient information on. A tight pain pierced his chest when he thought of his
family and immediately regretted the action.
“You see, you’re special, Eren,” he spoke as he continued to pound at the
buttons of his keyboard.
Special? He’s only been called that by his mother, but he figured that every
mom tells their child they’re different and unique, even if they’re cookie-
cutter as can be. However, he was probably closer to below average than
anything else. He constantly got into fights with boys twice the size of him
and got mediocre grades at best. Nothing felt extraordinary about him, and it
rolled off his shoulder whenever his mom constantly reminded him of ‘oh, how
special’ he was to her.
“From the silence, I’m guessing that you don’t believe that,” he said as Djel
pressed a final button and turned the laptop toward him to see. “Well, if you
believe that, then you’re about to understand why after watching this.”
The picture of a figure covered in dark grime and nothing but bones and skin.
The being wore the same clothes as him, white short-sleeved shirt and some
loose grey, sweatpants. They had chestnut, grease-covered hair that strayed
into too many different directions and long enough to cover most of his hollow
face. He couldn’t see much since the photo wasn’t completely clear, but he
could tell there was no fat in his checks or his whole form, and they seemed to
be in their early teens. He could see that the stranger was a couple of inches
taller than he was. Slowly, very slowly, the realization came to him that the
figure he was staring at...was him. He hadn’t seen an image of himself since
he’s been there but he could see himself in the video, and a sense of panic hit
him like a semi.
When had I grown that much? How long have I been in this place?
He touched his face, felt the hollow of his cheeks that were reflected in the
video in front of him, and his slightly sunken eyes. His hands began to shake,
realizing that he’s been in this place far longer than he thought. In the
photo, he was lying on a slab of metal and his wrists were cuffed like they
were now, but so were his ankles. The room that he was tied down in was
completely dark except for the spotlight that aluminated his body.
Djel then reached across the back of the laptop to press the long button on the
keyboard. The laptop began to create noise of static and he saw himself
beginning to slightly stir on the metal. He briefly saw Djel smirking at him,
probably he noticed that Eren understood who was really in the video in front
of him, but pulled his attention back to the images of himself on the screen
once he heard a soft groan. He had been pulling slightly against the wrappings
and could see his unconscious face being constricted in pain. On his left arm
was a tubbing that connected to something off screen, making Eren look down at
his actual arm to see an insignia where the tube would have been. He didn’t
like this feeling of not knowing what they’ve done to his body while he was
forced to sleep. It was as if someone was continuously pouring chilled water
all over his body and there was no end to the supply. Eren’s body began to
tremble as hushed voices emerged from the machine.
“Take out the morphine,” a voice spoke off-screen. “It’s stable enough to
continue.”
A blue, gloved hand appeared into view and yanked the tubbing out completely,
making Eren grab onto his arm in real life. The large, silver needle gleamed
with his blood at the tip as blood began to trickle out of his wound. Moments
after the extraction of the needle, Video Eren began to slowly become restless
and soon started to thrash around the metal table. The soft groans that once
escaped his lips began to turn into screams of agony. The chilled water became
ice along his body as he tried to cover his ears from the sound of his own
screaming.
How could he not remember this pain? How could have he not have woke up from
his own screams?
“Heart rate increasing?” a woman stated.
Eren could barely hear anything besides of the screams and wanted to shut out
the images of his body spasming, but the best he could do was turn his head
away from the sight. He didn’t understand why Djel wanted him to see this. He
didn’t want to know why this twisted man found amusement in seeing his reaction
of himself dying.
“Watch this, Eren,” Djel whispered.
His voice managed to bring him back from the numbness that he didn’t notice
replaced the ice through his body. Slowly he brought himself to look at Video
Eren once again and found himself not believing what he was seeing. His eyes
widened as he watched his body jerking violently and convulsing on the table,
his back painfully bending off of the metal at alarming angles. The screams had
somehow escalated in pain and volume. The trembles in his own body came in full
force as Video Eren’s bones in his arms and ribs began to pulse out and twist,
breaking upon themselves over and over again. That’s when his mind decided that
enough was enough and broke, blocking everything he was receiving from the
video out. It created a haze that washed over him to create the numbness again.
Eren could register that the video was still playing and the screams still
continued until it almost became animal-like, but he couldn’t see it. His eyes
so unfocused that the laptop was just a silver shape that almost blinded in
with the white of everything. Once the video became silent, he welcomed it. He
wanted the silence back. Nothing else.
“Isn’t it wonderful, Eren? What you can do?” Djel questioned him. “It’s quite
an interesting process, and we’re just beginning to understand.”
Eren’s eyes focused enough to see Djel’s overly zealous face. The gleam of
excitement that he once saw in his dull eyes now reached every corner of his
face. His smile, still off-putting and wrong, seemed genuine for once. He
pulled his focus off of the mischievous eyes that followed his every movement
to finally look at the quiet screen. He felt bewildered when he didn’t see
himself broken and dead on the table, but instead the largest cat that he’s
seen replacing him. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand and convinced
himself that he missed them taking his body off the table and replacing it with
the large cat. The white belly of the feline was in full display as its limbs
of swirling black and caramel colors were pulled to its sides. The same
wrappings that once covered his wrists and ankles were secured above its own
paws. He started to wonder where they carried his body to, most likely this
very room and managed to find the cougar-sized creature. An insane and
irrational thought crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed and disregarded
it immediately. It was too bizarre and cartoon to even think of the
possibility. However, the stare that Djel was fixing him with completely
discouraged him from thinking nothing was impossible.
“Oh,” Djel suddenly gasped, making Eren’s full attention fall on him. “You
don’t understand...of course you won’t. No one explained to you what you really
are.”
What I really am?
He once again reached behind the lap to press keys, making the video slowly
rewind. “You wouldn’t understand the first time seeing yourself change like
this since you probably went into shock seeing your body go through that
trauma...That’s entirely my fault. I got too carried away with the findings…”
His voice drifted away from as Eren’s focus was brought back to the video in
front of him.
The animal began to stir, just jerking slightly against the restraints
periodically but soon enough it yanked frantically and opened its mouth,
probably crying out in whatever pain they were putting it through.
Just like what they did to me.
Its limbs began to bow, almost to the breaking point, and they probably were
seconds away from snapping. The video suddenly sped up. Dejl’s doing no less,
somehow pressed one of the keys without disturbing his focus on the tormented
animal in front of him.
Something strange started happening to the creature's fur, like it was
thinning, but realized soon enough that it was instead retracting into its
skin. The fur soon vanished, revealing the dirt and grime that laid underneath
its coat. When he shifted his attention off of the dirt, he realized that the
feline was breaking its own bones and the convulses that raged through its body
was becoming sickeningly familiar. His mind threatened to shut down again but
pushed through the command and nausea that he felt to regain his failing
composure. The creature continued to bend and snap until it started having
humanoid features, its paws enlarged and thinned out to reveal almost human-
like fingers, and its large muzzle caving in on itself, even as it continued to
scream, to reveal a human mouth, with short, human teeth.
Eren didn't know when his body began to tremble or, started to feel the now-
familiar chill spreading through his small frame, but once he finally connected
the obvious clues he began to weep. Nausea came back in full force, almost
swiping him off his feet, but he tried not to expel his empty stomach all over
himself and hold everything in. Every rational thought and explanation slammed
into his skull to try and reason with himself that what he just witnessed was
false. That this was a trick of the camera or a cruel joke but he couldn't deny
what laid in front of him. One look at Djel’s face further confirmed that this
had to be real, that he wasn't hallucinating what he saw in the video. The
smile that erupted his face was too real and caused another chill through
Eren’s spine.
He couldn't stop repeating the scene of this animal-...no this creature turning
into him. No! He turned into that animal. What did that make him? Was he even
human?
“You understand now, Eren? Do you now see how you're so special?” Djel laughed.
He then closed the laptop was a snap, leaving Eren with the image of him
unconscious, human, and laying on the metal table burned into his mind.
He didn't want to believe that he was anything besides human. From the little
memory he still retained, his mother never mentioned a family gene that turned
them into large cats. He couldn't even remember if they even had animals in the
house.
He could tell that Djel took a step closer to him but he could only focus on
putting air into his lungs to breath. He continued to talk but he was wasting
breath since all Eren could hear was white noise. He wanted to go back. He
wanted to the endless hours of silence, the solitude that he once hated with
all his being, and pretend that he wasn’t at fault for being placed here. That
he wasn’t taken away from his family to be forced into this white room for god
knows how long, to then have the first human interaction be a man telling him
that he wasn’t who he believed he is.
“You have many questions, right? I’ll explain in time but you need to relax,”
Djel smiled. “Don’t worry, child. We’ll take care of you.”
That had to be the only time that he’d actually agreed with something Djel
said, mostly because he’s breathing was turning into gasps and coming in faster
than before. How could he relax when he has just found out, first hand, that he
can turn into an animal. A fucking animal. No human can do that. Only something
in movies would have that be possible or in dreams. Eren wished with everything
that this was just a crazed dream that he’s developed from the isolation taking
a massive toll on him.
He focused his breathing enough to get it under control to push out a question
that was weak and quiet, “What happens now?”
Eren looked up in time to see Djel’s smile extend, revealing white teeth behind
his slightly cracked lips. “Don’t worry. Everything will be taken care of.”
He, at that time, wanted to believe the security and safety Djel was promising;
that he didn’t have to have a care and the people outside of his cell were
going to be treated as the human he once was. He didn’t know that after his
encounter with Djel, that the silence he had endured was nothing compared to
the hell that was coming.
***** Chapter 4 *****
After the visit with Djel, they mostly left him alone for a week...of course,
he could only guess since measuring time was still almost impossible. He tried,
once again, to count the number of times his food was delivered, this time
being brought in by his “caretaker.” A woman with startling blonde hair, brown
peeking out from the roots, and amber eyes were introduced to him by Djel as
the caretaker, no name was given to him. Her features seemed feline, with sharp
angles in her jaw and cheeks, and she was short compared to Djel’s stature. She
didn’t look at him as he was informed that she would be delivering his food and
medication to him for now on, just stared at Djel, waiting for her chance to
leave. She barely took a step into the room once the door was opened for her to
come in, and when Djel reached for the door once again, she was gone with a
breath.
He quickly gave up on trying to count the number of meals he received, mostly
because they could easily be feeding him at odd hours of the day or an abnormal
pattern to keep him guessing. Some days Eren felt like he was eating scrap
leftovers and others he wanted to vomit at the sight of more food in front of
him. He could be eating once a day, or four times a day, and he never got any
help from the woman bringing him the mush. When she came in herself for the
first time, carrying his tray of food and a plastic cup full of colorful pills,
he didn’t move off his mattress until the tray was placed at the foot of the
bed and she left. After the fifth time she had delivered his food, he tried to
interact with her by saying just a simple hello. She didn’t react to him other
than moving from his bed to the door in faster strides. He kept trying to
interact with her, to pull any kind of information about the world outside of
his four walls, but she continued to ignore his presence. Soon he became
annoyed by her lack of reaction to him and multiple times after she brought his
food, he pulled himself off his bed and tried to confront her. She finally
reacted to him, but not the way that he wanted. Before he could even really
take a step away from his mattress, she had dropped the brown mush and pills
onto the polished floor and ran out of the room.
He spent hours running his fingers along his face and body to see if any of the
cat-like features he’s seen in the video were on his face. Trying to find
anything that would make her face pale to the shade of his walls, but coming up
empty. He came to the conclusion that she most likely knew about his inhuman
abilities and couldn’t see anything human in him anymore. His theory was
further proven when an unfamiliar man entered his room, black slacks hugged his
legs and his black long-sleeved shirt did nothing to hide the massive muscles
in his arms. The fluorescent lights reflected off of the man’s bald head and
his dark eyes looked black as their attention turned toward him. He strode
across the small room toward Eren and stopped at the edge of his messy bed.
Eren could do nothing but press himself against the wall as this large man
loomed over him and filled the whole room with testosterone. Suddenly the man
reached out to grab at Eren’s collar and slammed his back into his mattress.
The man’s knee sank into his stomach to hold him down further, making Eren want
to throw up the little that they feed him into the man’s face. His body began
to tremble, though he willed it to stop, to not show any more weakness in front
of the people who kidnapped him as the man leaned into him, putting more
pressure to his sensitive stomach.
“I’m going to tell you this once,” the man voiced into his ear. He recognized
the voice as one of the many that he heard guarding his door and tried to take
a look at his face to memorize it, but the man let go of his collar and
scruffed his hair, forcing it into the mattress to keep him immobile. “You are
nothing. You aren’t even fucking human so you don’t have any rights. You have
no right to speak. You are expected to be alive and nothing else. They don’t
care what happens to you as long as you are breathing when they need you.”
The trembling increased throughout his body and his breath was coming out in
short, airy breaths, as the man continued to add his weight to his knee and
grip his greasy hair tighter. Tears filled his eyes as it became more difficult
to breathe and he started to push his weak arms against the man on top of him
but there was no hint of him moving an inch, not if he wanted to. His failed
attempts to push him off made the man smile in delight and mischief flicker in
his eyes before yanking Eren’s head to the side one more time before pushing
himself off of him and the bed.
“Don’t talk to anyone or even look at them unless they instruct you, do you
understand me?” the man asked.
When he didn’t move, wishing this man would leave already and let him fall
apart in peace, he kicked the bed frame and made it the bed move a foot away
from the wall. Eren almost fell through the large gap but caught himself in
time before he went head first. He quickly looked at the man who just easily
moved his bed and him on top of it, with large panicked eyes. “Do you
understand me?” the man asked as he took a threatening step toward him, making
Eren flinch and quickly nod. Before the man left the room, he turned toward
Eren and spat in his direction, his spit landing somewhere near his bed. The
last thing that he saw the man doing before disappearing behind the porcelain
door was him furiously wiping his hand on his slacks, like touching Eren would
have given him an incurable disease. He waited a good few seconds after the
door closed before letting the sobs rip through him and the trembles shake him
to his core.
The next time his caretaker came in, she was armed with paper towels, a bin,
and a new tray. He didn’t know how long time had passed from the man leaving
and her arrival but it was almost enough time for him to control some of his
emotions, though he let tremors escape by accident. While she cleaned up the
cold, ruined food off the floor, he stared at his hands as they meddled with
the end of his dirtied blanket and counted backward from fifty. He kept
repeating the count until she hastily finished cleaning up and placed the tray
where she had just cleaned up, then quickly left. Even after she left, and a
good time after that, he didn’t leave his spot and continued his count.
Anyone that entered his room ignored his presence and with the man’s words
continuously running through his skull, always reminding him that he is not
like them, he ignored them too. The small piece of him that was ecstatic to
know he wasn’t alone, that there were people walking outside of his walls, died
and now he began to feel more alone than he was in isolation. He took the pills
given to him without complaint even if he hated the way it coated his mouth and
made his tongue chalky. He couldn’t get rid of the texture until he ate his
next meal and be replaced by the next set of pills. Eren also hated the way
they made him feel drowsy and wished for the lights to turn off, just once, so
he could sleep without light trying to pierce through his eyelids.
He soon found out the woman’s name that took care of him, Hitch. The only
reason why he had figured it out was from the loudmouths of his guards
gossiping to one another. Eren could only guess that they didn’t care anymore
what he heard now that he knew that there were people walking around his walls.
They weren’t quiet anymore or greet each other with hushed whispers to keep him
continuously blind.
Now he could hear his guards greeting each other, sometimes the man who
reminded him of who he really was can be heard too, and the faint conversations
of people are having as they pass his door. Whenever who was on duty mentioned
Hitch, they all used the same ways to describe her. They called her a
homewrecker and an easy fuck, and even though he didn’t completely understand
the meaning behind the words, he at least knew that they weren’t nice. He could
tell when Hitch was coming or about to drop off his next meal was when the
guards whistled at her. They commented on how sometimes her curled hair stuck
up in strange places or her lips would appear slightly swollen and pink. She
however just replied with her signature ‘fuck off,’ followed by a laugh or sly
comment of ‘you wish you could get some of this.’ Of course, as soon as the
door opened, the laugh and teasing in her voice disappeared when she entered
his room. Eren hadn’t been in a conversation that wasn’t one-sided for a while
and never heard people talk to each other that way before.
Maybe this is the way that people talk now.
He vaguely remembered one time that he cursed in front of his mother, though he
didn’t think it was a ‘bad’ word since he heard someone from school openly
repeat it multiple times, and she emptied an entire bottle of liquid soap into
his mouth. It was an unpleasant memory and Eren could swear that he could still
taste the bubbling liquid in his mouth still, but it was one of the few
fleeting memories he could recall. He still tried not to think about his life
before ending up here so he could focus on getting at least some of his
questions answered, like how much time has passed since he’s seen the sun.
However, it didn’t stop the hole that ate away at his chest whenever his mind
would wander to those few memories. He slowly started to fit into a new routine
of sleeping, eating the meals and pills Hitch left for him, being ignored by
said person, and eavesdropping on anything his guards would say. He soon
figured out that they avoided talking about dates, what the weather was like,
or anything that had to do with the place they were currently in. Even though
he was allowed to know there were people walking around, they knew that he was
still searching for answers and was listening to everything exchanged between
them. They haven’t let anything slip, much to Eren’s disappointment. Though he
heard them talking about him every once in a while after the first time of
eavesdropping he chose not to. They referred to him as it instead of his name
and wondered why they had to guard a lab rat with a twenty-four-hour
surveillance.
When Eren finally got comfortable enough with this new schedule, it was
shattered within an instant. It started with the door being suddenly thrust
open, making Eren flinch at the sudden noise, and two men walking through. They
didn’t even shut the door and he didn’t have enough time to peek around them
before they stood in front of him on his bed. He had been curled up in his
blanket, sitting against the wall with it covering the top of his head,
something he always does when he starts to think of his family. The bald man
that he saw before wasn’t among the two guards and he wanted to push out a sigh
of relief but it didn’t come.
He turned his head away from their glazes, something he does with everyone that
enters his room no matter if it’s Hitch or someone coming in to change his
sheets or a bulb. However, he sneaked quick peeks at them, taking in the same
uniform that the bald man wore and the same muscular build too. However, he
quickly noticed that there was an addition on their uniforms that wasn’t on the
other man’s. A black holster was clipped onto one of their belt hoops with an
onyx gun peeking out and he couldn’t stop his attention being fully brought to
them. Eren knew that he was openly staring at the guns at their hips but he
couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop imagining the guards pulling them out in full
view and pressing the barrel against his head, fulfilling his usefulness.
“Come on, let’s go,” one of them barked.
His voice had the authority of the other guard and he seemed slightly annoyed
that he had to be here. Eren pulled his eyes from their guns to their faces to
take them in. The brunette had streaks of gold woven into his shoulder length
hair that had some of it falling into his dark blue eyes. The other had the
same color of the meat that arrived in his tray; an ugly color and it reflected
in his eyes too.
Apparently, Eren was taking too long staring at their faces, trying to identify
their faces for when they spoke so he could tell who was guarding him that day
because meat eyes stepped toward him and pulled out the familiar wrappings that
restrained his wrists not too long ago.
“I said, let’s go,” he repeated.
He recognized the voice that repeatedly called Hitch a ‘bitch in heat’ and the
same part of him that was excited about finally putting faces to the guards was
short-lived by the wrappings dangling from his fingertips.
Where are they taking me? Why restrain me?
He honestly knew the answer to the last question. If they lead him to the door
without some way to keep him in check, he would run. His feet would move before
he could think of where to go and they would carry him until they gave out, and
from what Eren’s leg looked like, he wouldn’t get very far. Of course, if he
can get out of sight before the guards used the guns resting on their hips and
they would catch up to him within moments of escaping. They still needed him,
so they won’t shoot to kill, but that nothing to stop them from immobilizing
him and they had doctors like Djel to bring him back if they miscalculated a
shot.
A feeling of disgust filled him when his thought shortly imagined them shooting
him in the back of the head as he escaped, ending it all so he wouldn’t have to
come back to his lonely cell and be isolated by people are less than ten feet
away from him. Another thought quickly replaced it and excitement short-lived
inside of him. What if they were letting him go? Or even if they were going to
let him outside for a bit? He was tempted to fully accept the restraints if it
meant he could feel sunlight on his skin or the breeze of the night air
sweeping across his flesh. However, the realization hit him that they kept him
in isolation long enough for him to grow several inches and without giving any
hint there were people inches away from his room. They would never let him
outside, or even close to a window.
The guards apparently got tired of waiting for him to move because meat eyes
grabbed onto his arm suddenly and quickly velcroed the wrapping around one of
his wrists and around the other. His hands were covered in large calluses and
rough to the touch but they left his skin as soon as they physically could. He
began to frantically wipe his hand off on his slacks, just like the bald man
had done, and Eren tried to keep himself from feeling hurt. Their response just
reminded him that he wasn’t human, a freak and that he hadn’t been properly
clean since he first arrived here. The blue-eyed man laughed at the other
expression as he continued to wipe his hand.
“Shut the fuck up, it’s disgusting,” meat eyes snapped at the other. “You know
what, Mark? You can transport him.”
Mark stopped his laughter to throw an almost snarl at the other man, before
mumbling under his breath about him being an ass as he pushed him aside and
stood in front of Eren. Mark bend down enough to almost get into his face and
put a hand on his holster, making the gesture large enough for his eyes to
follow.
“Do you see this?” Mark asked as he started to pull the gun from the holster.
Eren nodded at his question, eyes widening as the gun was released. “You’re
going to do as I say or there’s going to be some trouble for you, you
understand?”
He nodded once again to which made meat eyes snicker lightly. “So it can
understand simple instructions. It’s not terribly useless at all, I guess.”
Mark rolled his eyes as he instructed Eren to move with the flick of his gun.
Even though his blood began to boil at the man’s words, he scooted to the edge
of the bed and pushed himself onto shaky legs. It took him a second to
completely get into a standing position, his legs threatening to collapse from
underneath him. Realizing that this was the first time that he’s put energy
into anything besides moving slightly to eat and moving to the toilet and back
to his lumpy mattress. That he would be walking around and carrying his own
weight for however long they would make him walk and wondered if he would make
it before his knees give out. Mark must have thought that he was taking too
long, like with everything else he’s been doing since he gripped onto the front
of Eren’s shirt and almost threw him near his door. He ended up on the floor,
his wrists stung when he caught himself but they nearly gave out when he pulled
himself off the polished floor.
Before he could even stand fully back up, Mark had grabbed his collar from
behind and yanked him completely onto his feet. He was using his strength to
support Eren, which he slightly appreciated but he felt like he couldn’t
breathe with his collar pressing tightly against the base of his throat, but
refused to touch him anywhere else. The cold metal of the barrel pressed into
his lower back, to try and probably persuade him not to run, but the evidence
that he needed Mark’s hold to actually stand up without almost falling over
with every step said that he didn’t the extra motivation to keep moving.
His legs increased to tremble as he moved closer and closer to the door that
separated him from himself and the rest of the world. The other guard had
walked ahead of them and opened the door fully, giving Eren a full view outside
the door. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest as he saw that the
white of his room continued outside the door’s frame and that he was getting
closer and closer. The thrill of leaving the room, and remembering it this time
instead of being drugged, was clashing with nausea that erupted soon after he
realized that he didn’t know where they were taking him.
Five steps.
Four steps…
Three….
 
Two....
 
One.
He wanted to weep once he stepped over the threshold but controlled his
emotions once he noticed that there were people surrounding his room. The room
led to a long hallway and it was filled with white lab coats and blue scrubs,
mostly the exact ones that Hitch wore. Hands shaking, he reached to stabilize
himself against the wall but Mark pushed him onward, not caring if he couldn’t
walk straight. The barrel continued to dig into his back, urging him forward
through all Eren wanted to do was run back to his room, away from the numerous
eyes staring at him. It wasn’t just the group of people waiting for him outside
of his room, people just passing by, holding vanilla folders and binders,
stopped in the middle of their conversations and tasks to stare at him. Their
eyes widened as they immediately grabbed the person closest to them and
frantically begin whispering to one another. He felt like an animal on display,
and instead of staring them down with a challenge, he hung his head and glued
his eyes to the tiled floor, watching his dirty, bare feet meet the cold
ground.
Mark pushed him down another two hallways before stopping in front of white,
windowed doors. He expected Mark or the other one to make a huge circle around
him to open the door, making sure that there was no way of them touching him,
but the other guard went up to a small box next to the set of door and swiped a
card through the box. A loud, buzzing noise filled the mostly silent room,
making Eren flinch and wanting to cover his ears but the slightest movement
that he made, Mark dug the barrel into his back into an almost painful degree.
The other guard opened one of the doors and he was pushed through by Mark. He
could still feel the lab coat’s eyes on him as he passed through and even
peeked behind him to see wicked smiles filling some of their faces.
There wasn’t another hallway after the set of doors but a large room filled
with different sized machines and a familiar metal table in the center of the
room. The lights were dimmed enough to barely see the faces of the lab coats
that inhabited the room, almost all of them having half of their faces and
their hair tied up covered by blue masks. The only blinding light was hung
above the metal table, the one that was making his hands sweat and making him
almost throw up all over himself, and Mark continued to lead him closer to the
table. They stopped inches away from the table, it reached his hips and could
only imagine the struggle he would endure to just climb on top of it.
Everything in his body, every cell, was protesting for him to be here. He
wanted the safety of his bed; he knew what to expect when inside his room.
Standing in this unfamiliar room with constant eyes on him made him yearn for
that small comfort.
“Get on the table,” Mark commanded.
Eren swallowed and placed his restrained hands on the edge of the cool metal.
His mind began to race, running through the image of his bones breaking,
bending and reshaping, of the last time he was on this table. His breath became
shallow and coming in short bursts, he took a step backward but before his mind
screamed for him to run, Mark and the other guard grabbed his upper arms and
lifted him onto the table.
“Please, stop!” he cried as his body became to thrash and kick to get out of
their hands.
No matter how much he struggled, they didn’t seem to be bothered, he was just
making their job slightly more difficult. The other bodies in the room moved to
help the guards place him flat on the table, then removing the restraints from
his wrists to be replaced with new ones.
Eren continued to plead with the men and women surrounding him, but they choose
ignored his cries for help and tighten the wrappings on his wrists and ankles.
Mark and meat eyes moved away from the table and went to lean against the wall
closest to the door, watching him closely as he tried to keep struggling.
Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his arm and he looked down in time to see a
blue scrub injecting him with clear liquid from a very large needle. He tried
to shake his body enough to get it out before the woman in blue finished
putting the rest of the liquid in his veins, but he began to feel sluggish and
weak. Once she finished, she moved out of sight, leaving Eren to try and fail
at focusing on the surrounding people circling him. He could only make out
their eyes, filled with fascination and wonder as they stared at him, and he
forced his eyes on the ceiling when their gaze became almost too much.
Another woman, he honestly didn’t know if it was the same one that injected
him, moved to the edge of his table, grabbing something that was out of his
view and returned with scissors in her gloved hands. Not knowing what she had
planned with the scissors, he tried to move away from her as much as possible
but didn’t move that far. She gripped the hem of his grime covered shirt and
used them to cut his shirt from bottom to top, revealing his upper torso. He
wanted to cover his chest but the restraints only let him move inches away from
his sides. While she placed the scissors back where she found them and walked
away, another person went to the other side of him. It was a man this time but
still wearing the blue scrubs that the other two were wearing. He began to
place white, circular stickers on his chest that had black wires attached to
them, and it seemed random but the man would peel some off and reposition them
slightly so the placement had some significance.
The man suddenly grabbed his face with a gloved hand and forcibly opened his
mouth while another man joined the table on his other side. In his hands looked
like another large needle and started to introduce the end to the inside of his
mouth. He started to struggle from the man’s hold on his mouth and even went as
far as biting the hand that was holding his jaw open. An aching pain erupted
through his jaws as his teeth closed around the man’s palm and the man screamed
in pain. The taste of iron filled his mouth as the man yanked away from his
hand, holding it tightly to his chest as blood began to pour from Eren’s bite.
“Motherfucker, it fucking bit me,” the man cursed.
He saw the hand being raised against him before the sharp pain in his check and
the iron continued to fill his mouth. He let out a whine before his tongue
searched for the source to find it from a split lip.Licking the wound and
cringing at the pain that it caused, but noticed multiple new pressures in his
mouth. Running his tongue over his teeth, he discovered that his canines had
elongated and even cut open the tip of his tongue when he pressed slightly too
hard. He then remembered the video, the animal’s mouth becoming his own and
wondered if this was the start of it. Murmurs started erupting around him as a
slight burning appeared where his split lip was. Eren once again ran his tongue
over the split to find nothing there and looked at the people surrounding him,
waiting for an answer to be given to him but he received nothing.
“This is what we’ve been waiting for,” he heard someone say off in the
distance.
“Continue with the extraction,” another said.
The man that he bit was now out of sight and a new man took his place holding a
clear circle with straps in his hands. Before he could even react, someone from
behind had grabbed his head, immobilizing it as the man forced his mouth open
and placed the circle in his mouth. By the time he tried to push and manipulate
the piece out of his mouth, they lifted his head enough to tie straps to keep
the piece in place. He even tried to bite through, using his new teeth to
possibly cut through the piece or even the straps but nothing was given. The
man holding the syringe came back, placing the instrument in his mouth once
again. Eren waited for the needle to pierce his skin but only felt a suction as
the man pulled on the edge of the syringe. His mouth became dry as his saliva
was sucked out when the container was more than halfway through, his mouth
mostly completely drained of moisture, the man pulled the syringe out. The
straps and mouthpiece were removed, making him move his jaw around to stop the
aching appearing in those joints.
“Keep going, the faster we get this done, the faster we can all go home,”
someone yawned close to the door, he could only guess it was either Mark or
meat eyes.
“We’ve been waiting almost two years for this, excuse us while we enjoy the
moment,” a familiar voice ringed out.
As the aging face of Djel stepped into view, the only thing Eren could feel was
numbness. One of the most important questions he’s kept asking and wanting the
answer for, was finally answered, and he wished he never knew it. He spent
almost two years of his life in isolation. How did he not go insane?
“I’m sorry, Eren, to have kept this information from you, but we felt like it’s
time that we’ve owed you some answers. We’ll continue to tell you more in the
future, though,” Djel smiled at him.
“Why?” Eren suddenly asked, voice cracking as tears began to fill his eyes.
“What did I do?”
Djel continued to stare down at him, his smile growing to show his teeth once
again. “It’s really simple, Eren. You were born.”
Devastation ripped through his body as Djel moved out of his view and whispered
to the people around him to continue and to give him another sedation, that he
wouldn’t be conscious for very long. A new emotion stripped away the numbness
and made him have new strength, rage. He screamed in anger as Djel walked out
of the room, demanding for a better excuse to keep a child in solitude for two
years than that he was born. He started yanking the restraints with new
purpose, feeling his muscles straining and burning, as an inhuman roar erupted
through his throat. He could sense the room turning into a panic and see that
Mark and the other guard had pulled out their guns, aiming at him, but he
didn’t care.
Eren knew that he was breaking through the restraints, could feel the extra
give they were taking, and he needed that final push to rip through them.
“Sedate it! Before it gets loose!” someone screamed. That was the extra push he
needed. By the time a person, holding a syringe full of white liquid, came feet
away from his table, he managed to rip the wrapping of his right hand.
“Don’t shoot!” another yelled. A loud, ringing blast filled the large room but
it distracted him enough for the person to stab the needle into his shoulder.
His ears continued to ring and all he wanted to do was cover them, hope that it
could help in someway, but instead he lashed out at the man who just slammed a
needle into him. The man flew, not stumbled, but flew into multiple trays
filled with instruments and landed on the ground with a hard crack. He didn’t
have the time to worry why the man wasn’t moving but rather that he needed to
get the other wrapping off of him or rip through it. However, even with this
new strength running through him, arms grabbed onto his free hand and pulled
him down onto the table. The snarls ripping through his throat was even
starting to terrify him as he continued to struggle. He could feel the sedative
starting to take a hold of his limbs as they grew heavy and so was his head.
No, no, no!
He put all of his remaining strength into one more thrash and managed to rip
two of the three sets of arms holding him down but they quickly regained their
hold. The all to familiar haze was taking over his body and like the first he
was drugged, he was losing the fight.
He didn’t regret fighting back. He had lost this fire for nearly two years but
finally got it back and now it was disappearing as soon as it appeared. Knowing
that he couldn’t win against the drug circulating his blood, he decided to just
close his eyes and hope that he awakes after everything they have planned for
him.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     Someone is finally introduced!
This was the first time that Eren didn’t dream of his mother dying. He couldn’t
remember dreaming of anything else from the two years he’s been living in his
white room but he didn’t exactly welcome the new dream with opened arms. He was
back in the lab, laying on the metal table with the blinding headlight over
him. Two shadows of men towered over him, one holding a large knife while the
other had the syringe full of his saliva.
Darkness.
His throat was raw, probably screaming from the pain emanating from his chest.
He looked down, just enough to see the blood coating his chest and the cuts
littering it. Eren’s face felt wet and he wondered if they also used the knife
to cut his face, but realized it was tears when his vision briefly blurred and
felt them leaking from his eyes. He couldn’t count how many times they laid the
knife into his flesh, just that the pain was still there even when they weren’t
carving. One of the men started to apply his saliva to half of the cuts,
stopping from where his pants started to his belly button.
Darkness.
Everything was burning, everything. However, the lower half of his body where
the man applied his saliva made him scream in pain. He couldn’t understand why,
why it felt like his flesh was burning and slipping off his body just because
of his saliva. When he had managed enough courage to look down and hope to dear
god that half of his chest wasn’t missing or bubbling like acid, he finally
looked. What he found instead was steam rising from the cuts and that the ones
covered in his spit were almost closed. The others, he could barely see the
skin stitching back together, healing but just slower compared to the ones that
were slathered in his saliva. However, when the man holding the knife dug
another line into his skin, the other cuts would stop healing, only the ones
that were covered continued.
Darkness
The wounds all healed. They started to cut again.
Darkness
Sweat dripped from his forehead. He was covered with it and it mixed in with an
alarming amount of blood that had oozed from the numerous cuts they’ve created.
The second round of cuts managed to finally heal, including the ones that
weren’t offered help. He felt so exhausted, drained from his body working
overtime to keep healing while they kept making new incisions. He could barely
keep his eyes open or even look down at his chest to see what pain they were
now inflecting onto him.
Darkness
When he opened his eyes one last time, he realized that he had escaped the
metal table and spotlight and returned back to his room. His whole body ached
and he couldn't move his limbs without wanting to gasp in pain, but pushed
through and used the wall to help him lean against the back of his bed. He
whimpered as he finally sat up, breathing heavily and feeling sweat coat his
back, wanting to just lie back down but rubbed his tired eyes instead. As he
pulled his hands away he noticed a thick, jagged scar that was present on both
of his wrists. The gut feeling, that he ignored since waking up, that the dream
he had wasn't just a dream solidified in his mind when he realized that the
raised scars were from struggling against the cloth restraints. Already knowing
what would be underneath, he lifted his new white shirt to reveal the thin,
pale lines that littered his stomach and chest. He expected to find the blood
that covered his skin in his ‘dreams’ but nothing was there. Eren suddenly
realized that he felt clean and fresh, a foreign feeling. The grime that had
built up over time had been scrubbed away and his hair felt soft instead of
covered in grease.
Did they finally take pity on me?
When Hitch came in to deliver the food, he was still staring at the new scars
on his wrists. She surprised him by walking across the room and almost putting
the tray into his lap and thought she may have taken pity on him, especially if
she saw his scars. She still chooses to ignore him though. At least there was
something positive about the whole experience. There was more of the colored
pills in his little cup this time and the food quantity seemed smaller than the
last meal but he still devoured it. The food was still the same tasteless and
tough mess that it was before but he couldn't stop himself from consuming all
of it within seconds. After eating the mush, he was still staring but knew that
he wasn't getting a crumb until Hitch came back with another try and more
water. He downed the water that was included and still had a parched throat
from his previous screaming session, but he was never tempted enough to drink
out of the toilet. No matter how thirsty he was.
Every time that Hitch came to deliver the food, he consumed it all within
moments and he felt hungrier with every bite. He kept staring at the new scars
that littered his torso and wondered how much more he would acquire before he
couldn't tell where his skin began and where the scars ended. By the time that
Hitch had visited him three more times before Djel visited him a second time,
but he was accompanied by two guards. He recognized one of them as Mark but
hadn't seen the other one before. The unfamiliar guard wore the standard
uniform that he was acquainted with, black hair parted to one side and
partially covering his hazel eyes. He had the signature muscular build that all
of the others had too.
They stood near the door, the strap securing their guns to the holster were
undone and ready to be grabbed encase something happened, most likely if Eren
had a repeat of the events in the lab. Djel greeted him with one of his small,
forced smiles and placed a foldable chair, that he brought along with him, and
placed it in front of Eren’s bed. The anger that consumed him in the lab
flickered lightly in his chest once Djel made himself more comfortable in his
space.
“How are you, Eren?” he asked.
In response, he rubbed his wrists, still getting used to the new marks. His
smile faltered the slightest bit, egging the light that burned brighter inside
of Eren’s chest.
“I heard that you caused quite a scene after I left,” he continued. “But they
calmed you down enough to continue our...research.”
Eren could feel a snarl emerging from his throat, but choose to swallow it. He
knew that what would come out would be animal-like and Mark and the other guard
was already tense from what he could gather. Djel leaned closer to him, making
the guards immediately reach for their hip but he reached out a hand to signal
for them to stop and motioned Eren to lean in. He did no such thing and
continued to sit against his wall. He couldn't do much to rebel against the man
in front of him but the small things he defied felt like huge victories in his
mind. Like he had some control over his life. He could also see that his
rebellions were affecting Djel, his eye twitching the slightest or the fall of
his false smile.
“You know, son,” he started. Djel knew how much the pet name bothered Eren or
else he wouldn't keep calling him that. “The scars on your wrists could have
been easily avoided if you'd just listen and stayed calm.”
He knew what the man was doing, trying to somehow shift the blame and make Eren
feel guilty, but it just encouraged the fire inside to keep building. The scars
would eventually mark his flesh, especially if they continued to inflict pain
upon him, he just managed to help them appear quicker. Djel seemed to finally
understand he couldn’t be dealing with the fake smiles and putting false blame
on him because his smile finally fell.
“It seems like I’m not really getting my point across,” he frowned at Eren.
“We’re ecstatic to finally been able to further our research, no thanks to you,
Eren.”
The growl that he had been holding in happened to leak out of his throat,
surprising everyone in the room, including himself. However, Djel continued on,
“But the unfortunate event that happened cannot be repeated again.”
“Of you carving me apart like a piece of wood,” Eren addressed, his voice
was, for once, clear and didn’t display the nervousness pounding in his blood.
“No, my sweet boy,” Djel quickly countered. “Of you using your strange and
complex abilities to kill a man.”
Eren felt his eyes quickly widen as he took in the information he just
received. “No, you’re lying.”
“I have never told you a lie, everything that I’ve said has been true and yo
have killed someone.”
He thought of the event, of his pushing the man that injected him with the
sedative, of how he flew across the room to land with a crack. He tried not to
think of that man’s body not moving when he landed and searched his brain for
any indication of movement from the body but nothing came. “No.”
“You know it’s true. He hit his head hard enough that parts of his skull
shattered and left him in a vegetated state-”
“Shut up,” Eren whispered, pressing the heel of his palms into his forehead.
“There was no way to stop the bleeding and his brain continued to swell until
it had no way to go but out-”
“Stop it Stop!”
“Eren, his death is on your hands and you have become the monster they’ve
whispered behind your back. You’ve lost the one thing that’s made you remotely
human-”
“I’m human!”
The room became deafening silent after his outburst. He found his arms shaking
and breath becoming more and more frantic as he realized what he’s done. He
looked up at Djel to see a sickening smirk crossing his face and felt the sadly
familiar chill crossing his frame. The feeling was becoming to acquainted with
him and wished he could never feel it again.
“It’s time for a reality check,” Djel explained as he grabbed one of Eren’s
trembling hands and jerked him forward so they were face-to-face. “You’ve never
been human. It's been like that long before you’ve got that man’s blood on your
hands.”
As Djel and the guards left the room, Mark turned around to face him before
leaving with the others. Glaring at him with so much hatred and malice in his
being that Eren couldn’t look at him. He honestly couldn’t care about the
guards the stood outside his door, but the emotion laced in Mark’s eyes made
the guilt that started swallowing him worsen.
He killed a man. Even if he didn’t and Djel was lying, he had heard the crack
of the man’s skull hitting the floor. He knew that he had at least hurt him but
he didn’t care at the moment of struggle. He couldn’t care. Now he wished that
he take it back, he didn’t regret frightening the people that were about to
carve him up but instead the man whose life he ended.
What if he had a family? Mark must have meant something to him.
He tried to push the thoughts into the back of his head and rationalized his
action by thinking that he had a family and a life before being ripped away
from it, but he never wanted another person to go through the same thing. There
was a slim chance that he could get out somehow, whether by them letting him go
or him finding the courage to escape, while that man’s loved ones would never
see him again. Once the door closed, Eren couldn’t help the tears that escaped
his closed eyes and asked himself if he was indeed human.
I had to be human. This didn’t change anything.
No matter how he repeated it in his head, he would look down at his shaking
hands, seeing the blood that covered them, though he knew it had to all be in
his tiring mind.
Eventually, the door opened once again and he expected Hitch to come and drop
his food off at his feet but he didn’t hear the door closing or the squeaking
of her shoes on the tile. He finally looked up from his hands to see Mark and
the other guard standing in the doorway. In his hands was a long metal chain
that had two hoops attached to them, and Eren figured they considered the
wrappings that once restrained him won’t work anymore. That he could rip
through them if he had the time and motivation to rip them apart. The metal
dangled from his hand as Mark flicked his head to the hallway.
“Let’s go,” he commanded.
Eren could that he moved off the bed, stood on his weak legs and then walked
toward Mark. The chill and numbness began to take away everything in his body,
eventually eating away at the fire he was so proud of building. He stopped feet
away from Mark and simply held his hands slightly in front of him. As the bite
of the metal pressed into his sensitive wrists, the light flickered out without
a fight.
That was mostly the last time that Eren ever felt that light again. There were
small cases where he couldn’t help but rebel against the situation he was in,
it was usually after every time Djel visited him, giving him new information
about himself and where he was. Though it was more about himself and not
completely new information. He twisted words around or used complex meanings
for the same simple words that he’s repeated numerous times already. It was to
trick Eren to believe that he was receiving more information than he really
was. He didn’t pick up on it until the fourth talk that he ever had with Djel
and the light flickered to life briefly.
He rebelled by not taking his pills. He hid them under the mattress after Hitch
left the room and mostly enjoyed the peace of not having a chalky mouth before
realizing that his hearing had gotten better. Normal he would barely hear the
whispers and sentences that passed by his door if they were loud enough, now he
could hear full-blown conversations echoing down the hall. Most of it was
mundane and had nothing to do with him, but he relished in hearing anything
that didn’t have to do with Hitch’s ass or himself. Soon he found out that it
wasn’t just his hearing that had gotten better. The room started to smell of
mildew and harsh chemicals, even if they only came in to clean after he left to
go down the hall. Though the change came slowly, he knew that his nose became
sharp when he realized that he could tell when Hitch was coming, not by her
voice or the guard’s reactions to her presence, but her smell. He first noticed
it when she placed his meal in front of him and he was hit with the
overwhelming sense of sweet roses. She sometimes entered the room and it was
the only thing he can smell even after she left. Other times, when her hair was
misshapen and lips were swollen, the roses would increase until it make him
sneeze but he could always smell underneath all of the roses of heavy sweat.
That’s when the guards would make fun of her appearance more and ask ‘who it
was this time.’
His taste was also becoming acuter too, which honestly sucked since it made the
food almost unbearable to eat even though after his ‘sessions’ he always found
himself starving. He pushed through the taste until a certain chicken looking
meat came into his stomach and he vomited it out before he had time to lean
over to his toilet. It almost convinced him to go back on the pills so he could
at least keep down his meals.
One day when Hitch left another one of his meals at his feet, he pulled himself
into a sitting position and onto the wall. Suddenly, he heard the horrifying
sound of the pills escaping his makeshift nest from underneath his bed frame.
Eren and Hitch both looked up at each other with wide eyes, his more full of
terror from being caught, but Hitch just left the room. He sat, terrified in
his bed, waiting for the guards to barge in to see the evidence laying below
him. However, no one came. The next time the door opened, it was Hitch again
with another meal. He had cleaned up the evidence and flushed it down the
toilet before consuming his last meal, something that never really considered
an option before. He opened his mouth to ask her why, which he hasn’t done
since the first time he tried to, and she just shook her head. She placed his
tray down and walked out like nothing happened.
They found out eventually that he wasn’t taking his medication, but it wasn’t
because of Hitch, from what he could tell anyway. A blood sample was taken from
him and Djel came for another visit a meal after. He made a large speech about
how Eren was never going to get anywhere if he didn’t play along and obey what
he was told. From then on, every five meals they would take him in for a blood
sample, and it didn’t matter if he couldn’t get up from previous sessions or
that he had just lost pints of his blood from carving him up. He knew that he
couldn’t keep pretending to be taking his medicine and didn’t try, especially
when the other guards kept reminding him that they would shove them down his
throat if the tests showed that he wasn’t taking them.
Every time he walked down the hallway, he wasn’t sure what to expect when he
was pushed past the double doors to the lab. Some days he’s able to walk out of
the room, only trailing some blood from not fully healed wounds yet, or he
either passes out completely from whatever they do to him. Some days it's
seeing how much trauma his body can handle, how much blood he can lose before
he stopped healing, how much electricity could they pump through before his
heart stopped beating. Or it was just a simple blood test.
He still had no idea how much time passes between each session, when he wakes
up feeling every knife cut and electric spasm that they’ve pumped into his
body, the next session comes all too quickly. There’s always a chance that the
next one would be just as intense or even worse, probably end with his heart
stopping once again. Thankfully if they put him through two intense they left
him alone for a longer period of time, many meals passed between the next one
and usually, it was one that left him being able to walk still.
Soon enough he figured out all of his guard’s names that regularly took him
down the hallway, but eventually soon forgot them, focusing more on keeping air
in his lungs and living through his next session. Their mouths never seemed to
shut up after he returns, one of them spilling the exact details the lab coats
did to his body and repeating that ‘it deserves everything that it gets.’
Sometimes the stress laid upon his body felt like too much and he would let
silent tears stain his face, wishing for some form of release from this hell.
During those times, he felt powerless, trapped in his body that wouldn’t move
or obey him, and he endured many panic attacks reliving the moment of his heart
stopping or becoming so cold as blood leaked out from him.
He didn’t know what his relationship was with Hitch was, but it didn’t move
past her role in caretaker. The only thing that happened to be out of normal
would be the small smile she would give him if he had just recently gone
through a bad session. She didn’t say anything to him still but she could still
hear the sly comments and laughs that she shared with the guards.
He knew that he had grown more even if they continued to give him new and
cleaner clothes ever session, especially the ones where he would come back with
blood coating them. Eren managed to peek at a clipboard that one of the lab
coats carried around as they weighed him and found out his height. He was only
slightly under 5’5” and underweight. He almost rolled his eyes at the fact that
they needed to record that he was underweight, the outline of his ribs poked
slightly under his skin and his limbs mostly had no muscles in them, he was all
bone. It still alarmed him that everytime he grew, it meant that he had been
here longer than he ever wanted to and that he was probably miscalculating the
amount of time he spent alone.
Eventually, the visits with Djel came almost became scarce and few, and even
when he tried to get Eren to fight back or show some of the fire that had once
danced across his eyes, he just sat in his bed and took in everything Djel had
to say. He knew he was losing the will to fight back or do anything besides
follow orders and it took almost too much effort to eat anything. He could
barely walk in a straight line when he was being transported and after some
sessions, his legs would collapse before he could even get close to his room.
The guards would always kick him on his side to see if he could get moving
himself, sometimes he could, but they would most likely have to grab him by the
arms and drag him back. If the lab coats worked on his arms, covering him in
new scars, the guards would grip and yank him harder than they usually would,
making Eren bite his lip to stop the painful whine that built in his throat.
Every intense session drained him more and more and he tried to consume all of
the food that Hitch delivered to him, but the smell and taste of the mush got
to him sometimes and he could barely eat them. He always swallowed the pills,
however, no matter how much it made him feel.
Eren started to soon wonder if they were just slowly killing him now, they
repeated experiments seeing if his body reacted differently than normal, but it
always felt the same. Djel explained to him that they’re doing it for the
greater good and that their findings will help many people in the generations
to come, finding some way to say what they were doing to him was justified.
That his healing abilities worked better on him when he shifted, if not for his
body shifting after he passed out, he would have died many times already. He
wanted to ask why he woke up looking human if he shifted after passing out, but
stayed silent just listening to Djel go on and on. He eventually got his answer
when Djel mentioned that they created a tonic that triggered hormones in his
body to go back to his normal form, and it explained why he couldn’t move when
he woke up. The amount of energy he had to use when they made him shift was
exhausting, he couldn’t imagine what his body would be going through when they
forced another one.
He never used his voice, not that he could remember, besides to scream during
the experiments. The next time he spoke it was during one of the few times Djel
graced him with his presence. They had been sitting in silence, which had been
the theme for the past two visits, and Djel was just waiting for Eren to react
to him in any way. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, the reasoning behind
his silence, and he would barely look in his direction. He would just stare at
his scars, the new ones that were freshly pink or the ones that had turned an
ugly white. Before Djel spoke for the first time since greeting him when he
entered the room, Eren could see the strange, smirking smile that he hated and
knew something was off.
“You know, Eren,” Djel spoke. It was honestly weird to hear anything in his
room beside the air conditioning turning on and off, or the sound of Hitch’s
sneakers against the tile, so hearing his voice made Eren turn toward him.
“With all the information that we are acquiring for you, your mother would be
proud of you.”
It felt like someone suddenly grabbed a hold of him and thrust a piece of metal
straight through his gut. He had tried so hard to forget about her faceless
form and who she was to him before he was here. To spare him any more pain than
he already suffered at their hands and even with the constant nightmare of her
death playing on repeat each time he slept, he managed to somehow push it to
the back of his mind every time. Hearing about his mother so suddenly was not
expected and the old feeling of rage filled his being.
“Get out,” Eren whispered.
Djel’s eyes slightly widened at his voice, but his unnerving smile spread.
“Get out! Get out!” he shouted.
However, he wasn’t focused on Djel to see if he was truly leaving but rather at
the voice that escaped his throat. He didn’t recognize the deep voice that
clawed its way out and hoped that it wasn’t really his. A trembling hand moved
to his throat, wanting to say something to prove himself wrong but too
terrified to even open his mouth. The rage that he felt too quickly snuffed out
realizing, once again that he had no control over his life, that his body
continued to change when he couldn’t do anything about it.
He didn’t notice that Djel had left already and he honestly couldn’t care.
Laying down and curling up on himself, he finally let his tears be known as he
sobbed into his flat pillow and wished for it to end. He knew that it was just
Djel trying to get a rise out of him, but the words couldn’t have been opposite
of the truth. Eren could feel his mother looking down him from, wherever she
was, with eyes full of shame. He couldn’t do what she asked and run, and he
deserved everything that he endured because he failed.
The only thing he could look forward to was Hitch’s deliveries of food and
medication. It meant that he wasn’t going to endure pain or flatline on the
table, not until after he finished his meal anyways. Even if she still choose
to ignore him, besides the few smiles, he still greatly enjoyed her presence.
However, while he slept one day, he woke up to find his tray laying on the
floor and empty of everything but his colorful pills. He took them out of fear
of the next round being shoved down his throat but confused over the lack of
food. He was tempted to knock the door and hope to get some answers from the
guards, but there was a slim chance either of them would talk to him. He’s
never had a tray that wasn’t filled without least bread or a questionable meat
and decided to wait until Hitch had to come replace his tray with hopefully
food this time.
By the time that Hitch came back around, his stomach was cramping and the
thought of the food that she had on his tray made him almost drool. When she
placed the tray down he was greeted with pills again and his water. He opened
his mouth to ask her what the hell was going on but she shook her head like she
would explain later. Before he could ask how soon and when he’d be able to eat
but she left the room.
He swallowed his pills.
His stomach cramps were becoming painful, almost to the point that they made
him double over when it started to spasm. The noise it made seemed to come out
of the throat of the animal he could shift into and grew louder as time
continued. Just the thought of that tough and almost tasteless food made his
mouth salivate to the point that his saliva was dripping down his chin. When
Hitch came in once again with only pills, Eren wanted to sob from going without
food once again until she possibly brings it next time she comes. However,
Hitch stood next to his bed after she placed the tray on his mattress and
started to quickly dig into the pocket of her blue scrubs. She pulled out a
rectangular shaped wrapping and threw it into his lap before quickly grabbing
the tray and turning to leave. Before she got to the door, she turned toward
him, nervousness spreading out her body.
“Don’t say anything about this to anyone,” she whispered.
She was gone before he could ask her why.
He looked down at the rectangle in his lap and brought it to his nose to sniff
it. Once he smelled the almost forgotten sweetness of chocolate, he ripped into
the foil wrapping, almost eating it too, and wolfed down the bar. It was gone
too fast, even licking his fingers and palms where the bar touched wasn’t
enough to get the sweet and intoxicating taste back down his throat.
Hitch continued to bring just his pills, though that was just what the guards
thought, and brought him bars of nuts and berries, sometimes it was the one
covered in chocolate and he sobbed every time he ate it. The most she brought
was two, which didn’t come close to his starving stomach but relieved the pain
enough until she came back around. He had learned his mistake from when he
stopped taking the pills and put the foil wrappings in the toilet, the evidence
of Hitch’s betrayal down the drain.
Eren could hear the comments of the guards, wondering how he could still be
standing after going days without food, especially with how thin he already
was. It was a couple of bars before they started to get more suspicious, though
he was grateful to her, which he expressed to her multiple times, she continued
to give him the bars. Said that it was compensation for when she couldn’t help
before. It warmed his ever-growing cold heart, but he was still concerned about
her getting caught for helping him. Soon enough, he was greeted by the guards
instead of Hitch, though he knew it was about the time she should be coming
around since his stomach was beginning to have his usual painful cramps. Every
time that he saw the guards, they started to blend into photocopies of each
other, each of them had the similar build and height and the only thing that
slightly differentiated them was their hair colors. They didn’t say anything as
one of them, a blonde, walked to his isolated bed and grabbed the front of his
shift, pulling him off of the bed. His head immediately began to spin and
nausea slammed into his stomach at suddenly being in a standing position. He
wanted to reach out and grip the guard’s arm for stability but knew that it
would give him nothing other than a black eye or worse if it even looked like
he was going to touch any of the guards.
He knew where he was going as the guard continued to drag him out of his room
and down the hallway. His knees gave out only a handful of times and he only
felt like once bending over to hurl the last of the bars from nausea that
continued to build inside of him. He didn’t know how long they had tried to
starve him but apparently, he’d outdid their expectations by a long shot.  When
they placed him on the metal slab, he wanted to struggle but could barely find
the energy to lift his head slightly. One of the lab coats grabbed a hold his
jaw while two more approached him from the other side, one holding a metal bowl
while the other equipped with a long cotton swab. Soon enough he emptied his
stomach into the bowl, though he tried to angle his head in the middle randomly
to get some of his bile on the doctor currently making him vomit. It worked
though only a little got on his coat. He didn’t seem to notice or even care
until Eren saw him later hassling throwing his coat off onto a very green man
wearing blue scrubs. After vomiting his guts into the bowl, the guards took him
back into his room while he feared what the bile would tell the lab coats.
Whether if they could tell that someone was sneaking him food or if the bars,
that had barely nourished him, had been completely dissolved in his stomach so
they couldn’t have the evidence.
When his tray of pills was delivered through the slit in the bottom of the
door, the only way he was fed before he found out that he wasn’t human, he felt
his stomach drop. They hadn’t given him his tray like this after meeting Hitch
and worried that something could have happened to her. That they did something
to her. He somehow, however, convinced himself that she can miss a tray and
that he would only start worrying if she didn’t appear the next time the pills
came through.
The medication came through the slot.
He had propped himself next to the door when it first came through, mostly
because he knew he didn’t have the strength to make it to and from the bed
again. Not without becoming so lightheaded that he was going to pass out. When
he saw that the slit opened, he grabbed a hold of the tray to stop it from
coming in any further but the guard’s hand pushed it further in without much
effort.
“Where is she?” Eren asked.
His voice sounded so weak, dry. So broken.
“Hitch is dead,” the guard replied.
 
He didn’t remember passing out, or hitting his head hard enough to start having
blood leaking from his skull. The only thing he realized when he opened his
eyes the next time was that he caused another person to die.
“You’ve awakened, Eren,” Djel’s voice said softly.
He turned his head slowly toward his voice, making his neck crack with the
movement. His eyes began to tear up as he saw that Djel sat in his usual chair,
that he still brought himself, and a frown etched on his face. The wrinkles in
his forehead were deep and he pointed to the side of his head, indicating to
Eren to feel his own head. His hand moved over his scalp to feel the hair that
was beginning to feel greasy and then felt cloth.
“You did a number to your head,” he explained as he leaned back in the foldable
chair. “If you were human, you’d probably have required twenty stitches and
mandatory bed rest...but you’re not human.”
“What happened to Hitch?” he suddenly asked.
He didn’t hesitate when he answered. “You.”
Apparently, he looked just as confused as he felt because a sad smile made its
way onto Djel’s face.
“You somehow convinced her that you were deserving of pity, and she fell for
it. You should have known that many people here do not like the very idea of
you. The idea that you are born is an abomination to mankind to almost everyone
here. The only reason you are alive is to serve the greater purpose of humanity
and give us the ability to cure diseases and injuries thought incurable. People
can’t harm you because of this, Eren. So what do you think they do to the ones
that show pity toward you?”
His body started trembling as Djel reached into his pocket and pulled out two
square pieces of paper. He threw them at Eren, landing in his lap, and what was
displayed in the still photos made him quickly lean over to the side and vomit
bile into the toilet.
Hitch’s lifeless eyes stared off into the distance as a faint red mark wrapped
around her neck, which was turned unnaturally to one side. Her tanning skin was
the color of his walls and his vision became to narrow realizing that he caused
her death. Before he could turn away from the images already imprinting
themselves into his mind forever, he caught what the other photo contained. Her
body hanging inches off the ground in a stairwell, the one that he passed every
time he went to his sessions. It probably wasn’t even the same stairwell but he
wouldn’t be able to stop himself from turning his head toward it in the hall
and seeing her body hanging.
He didn’t notice that Djel had collected his chair and moved to the door until
he cleared his throat. Eren slowly looked up to find Djel’s hand at the door
and smiling at him.
“Just start believing what everyone thinks of you, Eren before you get more
people killed.”
He started screaming before Djel closed the door.
 
Food finally started arriving, through the slot of course, and if he hadn’t had
barely eaten over the course of them starving him out, he probably wouldn’t
have consumed anything on his tray. He didn’t wolf it down as he once did when
he was only receiving the bars, but he still ate everything on his plate even
if he threw it all up moments later.
The guards didn’t take him to any of his sessions since Hitch’s death and he
had somehow hoped that they may have pitied him in some way. That his body and
shifting abilities wouldn’t function correctly with him being this upset, but
he highly doubted it. It hadn’t stopped them before when he could barely walk
and almost dead on his feet. He also ignored everything that the guards talked
about, it mostly involved with it having been his body hanging instead of
Hitch’s...which he soon agreed with.
He didn’t move, only when it was required for him to do. Waking up and laying
in that position until his tray arrived. Sometimes he crawled and sometimes he
had to use the wall to walk toward it, and he would sit against the door to eat
his sorry excuse for a meal. Then he would return to his bed, lay down, and try
to imagine his life vanishing, him dead along with it.
When the door opened for the first time since Djel’s departure, his heart
stopped. He knew that the sessions were going to start up again but it felt too
soon, it always felt too soon. The eyes on him buried into his back but his
body refused to him. He knew better than to not start heading toward the
doorway to await the metal restraints waiting to encase his wrists. The
punishment was worse if he refused, even if it was just because the body he
inhabited couldn’t physically get up.
The door suddenly closed and Eren just hoped that they just decided to wait
another time, to give his body some time before throwing him into another life
ending session. Then he heard small footsteps walking slowly toward him.
“Hello,” a soft voice whispered.
Eren turned toward the small voice that filled his room and was greeted with
the warmest smile that he’s ever seen. “My name is Petra, what’s yours?”
 
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry, this is a big update and it would have been longer but then I
     realized how long it actually was and chopped the chapter in half so
     I'd have something to post. Levi is definitely coming after the next
     chapter update! Sorry that it's taken so much to get to that point,
     Eren's part of the story has taken a lot more time to write and I had
     a lot more to say about it then I thought I would. Anyways, enjoy!
Eren hated his new caretaker, Petra. She tried, with almost an annoying amount
of effort, to get him talking to her, and she was good. He almost greeting her
when she slipped into one of her many one-sided conversations with him, acting
like they were long friends catching up on the day’s events. He didn’t want to
know what she ate in the morning, or who she greeted as she walked down the
hallways, and he tried his best to shut her out the moment the door opens and
she walks through. The image of Hitch’s body was still too fresh in his mind.
She always announced her presence by two short knocks on his door followed by
her poking her head out from behind the door when she opened it. A warm smile
spread across her lips if she caught him staring at her, though it was more of
him wondering why she was putting so much effort into opening him up. She
always wore the blue scrubs that Hitch wore and he expected to see the blonde
turning brunette hair rather than the strawberry blonde of Petra’s hair every
time he saw the scrubs out of the corner of his eye. Whenever he looked up at
her as she places the tray in his lap, he also expects to see amber, sad eyes
staring back at him but instead greeted by chocolate brown, like the bar of
chocolate covered nuts that Hitch died over.
Eren could feel her breaking through the walls that he threw at her, and he
began to want to talk back to her, to answer the questions she asked him, or
ask her what some words she said meant. However, whenever he began to open his
mouth, Hitch’s body flickered in his eyes and could feel Petra’s eyes filling
with hope until he turned away from her. It took multiple visits until he
finally cracked. Eren could ignore someone easily if they did the same to him
but when they were willing talking to him, trying to get something out of him,
it was harder to pretend they weren’t there.
Petra greeted him like normal, set the tray of food and medication on his lap,
and then started talking to him again. About her day and how she drove to work,
how she still gets lost in the hallways.
“-I’ve only been here for a few weeks but I still have to ask someone where to
get around. They’re always so grumpy too, you can’t greet anyone or smile at
them without being looked at like you have two heads,” she laughed.
She was leaning against the wall near his bed, her petite body always looked
like it was swallowed by his scrubs, and she crossed her arms over her chest
while Eren continued to listen and eat. “You know, I haven’t figured out your
name even though you’re mostly the only person that I’ve talked to.”
Eren was tempted to correct her, saying that he wasn’t a person, he wasn’t even
human, and obviously, no one has told her what he is. Or she was just stupidly
putting herself in danger for the fun of it. She’s had to have heard about the
last person she filled in for. What happened to people when they show him an
ounce of kindness.
“They didn’t tell me much about this job other than being a caretaker, which is
only giving you your meals and medication. Of course, it’s easy money. Sit
around while I play around on my phone until I grab the tray, deliver it, talk
to you, you listen, and the whole process repeats,” she explained. “Probably
the easiest job that I’ve ever had honestly.”
The smile that had plastered her face suddenly fell and Eren wondered what he
did to make it go away. She pushed herself off the wall and faced him before
giving him a sad smile.
“Then though you don’t really speak, either by choice or you can’t...I feel
like I could consider you a friend in time.”
His eyes widened at her confession and when she picked up his empty tray and
started heading toward the door, he felt tears leaking out at the thought of
seeing this warm smile disappearing from his life but he couldn’t stop himself
as his mouth opened.
“Eren,” he said as Petra’s hand landed on the handle of the door. “My name is
Eren.”
She flashed him a smile before disappearing behind the door.
 
He secretly enjoyed the times that he spent with Petra but he hated that his
mood significantly improved whenever he heard the two rapid knocks she made to
announce her presence. Whenever she waited for him to eat, she would lean
against the wall near his bed, never moving toward him unless to put down or
grab his tray. She greeted him always with a happy ‘hello, Eren’ and a
welcoming smile. At first, he only nodded to her in greetings at first but soon
began to whisper a quick hello. It was nothing compared to the familiarity and
excitement she showed but it was the only greeting he’s given since arriving
here. He still was only comfortable enough to ask simple questions like what
certain words she said meant. She also never asked him anything but how he felt
today, which his answer was always a soft okay. He felt like she knew more than
she let on, of why he was here and why he was covered in more scars than skin
showing. Though every time he caught her staring at the ones not covered by his
sleeves, he instinctively grabbed for the blanket and wrapped himself in it,
shielding her eyes from the hideous marks. A blush would dust her pale cheeks
as she quickly steered the conversation to her day. She never pushed for him to
speak, always nodding in understanding if she asked something and he answered
in silence before jumping to her next point. Whenever she went on a tangent
about a show she was watching, something about doctors in space, or complaining
about someone else in the building, he could never understand fully what she
was talking about but didn’t care.
He enjoyed that he was hearing anything other than the air conditioning and the
guards bad mouthing him or the nurses, who he expected were the people dressed
in blue scrubs. Petra would look over at him to see if he was understanding
everything pouring from her mouth and he would just nod to signal to keep
going. She would talk his ear off if she had the time too but their chats
always came to an end when a device on her small wrist beeped three times. The
first time it happened, it spooked Eren almost to death and it took Petra
awhile to calm him down without coming close to him, explaining that it wasn’t
going to hurt him or anything like that. She had even started to help him
understand what it was but Eren started to get confused when she used so many
unfamiliar words in one sentence and just shook his head to tell her to stop.
The three bells, unfortunately, rang, ending Petra’s chat and the
disappointment never failed to fill Eren as she picked up his tray and said
that she'd see him soon. As she disappeared behind the door, he hoped that it
wouldn’t be the last time that he’d see her. That the next time the door
opened, it would Djel with another set of photos but with Petra’s body being
displayed rather than Hitch’s. He didn’t think he could live through another
person dying because of him; he would completely break and knew he wouldn’t be
able to put himself back together this time around.
Eren hadn’t be dragged down the hall since they made him throw up when Hitch
was still alive and helping him fight off starvation. He was happy not to focus
on breathing air into his lungs and waking up after certain sessions that
literally killed him. However, with every time the door opened to reveal Petra,
he knew that the next time it did, the higher the chance she may not be the one
opening it. Just when he begins to get used to another change, they always
throw him off and plummet him back into pain.
The next time the door opened and he wished with all his heart that it was
Petra awaiting for him, but he didn’t hear the quick two knocks. Two of his
guards greeted him with his old, metal restraints and Eren had to stop himself
from curling into himself and refusing to move. Whatever awaited him at the lab
was going to be tough on his body, he could already tell from the smirk planted
on the guards’ lips. He didn’t need to put himself through more by disobeying
them so he stood up on his ever-trembling legs and walked toward the door.
 
Eren couldn’t feel his fingers or legs as his guards lead him back to his room.
His fingertips were almost charred to a crisp and the slight twitch in his
fingers made him bite back a whimper in pain. It didn’t help that his arms were
trembling from the remains of the electric current that they pumped into his
body, making his hand and fingers tremble too. They allowed him to heal his
feet and toes so he could walk back but the wounds were still too fresh even
with his inhuman saliva. They had forced him into turning, something he still
despised even after all this time, and run on a large machine with a flat,
matte top that wrapped two wheels. They called it a treadmill but he wasn’t
allowed to tread. At first, the speed was set to an easy walk but they
increased it until it was difficult to keep air in his lungs. Whenever he
slowed down, a powerful pulse of electricity pumped through the machine and
into his paws. The first time it happened, he immediately stopped, making his
body fly off the machine and collapse in a painful heap. He heard the lab coats
order him to get back on the treadmill and promise that it’ll be over soon.
They always promise that it’ll be over soon or for him to hold out for a bit
longer but it always felt like it was going on forever. Eren could see the
guards eyeing him when he was taking too long to get up and he pushed his tired
body to get back on the machine.
They continued to shock him if he slowed down from the tormenting pace. His
muscles were protesting either from lack of use or the electricity and his
breath was coming out in heavy pants, it was difficult to bring the air back
into his body. Soon his paws were in complete agonizing pain and the only way
to relieve them of some pressure was when he was running when his paws barely
touched the ground as he pushed himself to keep going. They sent one last pulse
through and the pain sent him tumbling over himself, landing on his front legs,
more pain emanating from his body as the machine rolled him onto the floor.
Thankfully they decided that they were done with his session and he was able to
shift and at least start licking his blackened toes and red feet. His guards
stopped him before he could even close to his fingers and internally cursed
them when they threatened to shove his face onto the machine and let them pump
more electricity into him.
When he finally entered his room, he waited until the guards closed the door
before making quick work of healing his hands. Sitting on the floor against his
bed frame, he started with his right and gasped in pain as his slightly rough
tongue made contact with the dead skin. Ignoring the enormous pain running
through his digits and the almost vomit inducing taste in his mouth, he watched
as the blackened skin started to peel off, revealing the pink skin underneath.
The steam rising off of his hand mostly covered up the process of the healing
and it was honestly the only time he was grateful for his abilities. He would
have been dead long ago if it wasn’t for them.
Before he could start working on his other hand and fingers, a loud metal
ringing suddenly filled his small room. His head jerked toward the noise to see
a metal tray flipped upside down and the mush he called food splattered across
the white floor, the pills scattering across the room. Petra stood in front of
the closed door with her hands covering her mouth.
“Oh my god, Eren,” Petra gasped.
She mostly threw her onto the floor to kneel in front of him and grab his hand
that was still covered in dead and burnt skin. When she yanked his hand away
from him, a painful whine escaped his throat and he placed his still steaming
hand behind his back.
“What happened?” she asked frantically as she continued to inspect his fingers
and palm.
He wanted to tell her that he would be fine if she would just give him back his
hand but wanted desperately to not break this illusion that he was building
with Petra. He needed for her to keep believing that he was human, that there
had to be something remotely human about him. When he didn’t answer her, she
looked up at him and placed one of her hands on his cheek, to which he flinched
away from her touch even though he knew she wasn’t going to hurt him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Her eyes turned sad, shaking her hand as she instead touched his upper arm and
gently squeezing it. “Don’t apologize, sweetie.” She quickly looked around the
room searching for something in the empty room but when she couldn't find it,
she gave him another gentle squeeze before getting up. "I'll be right back."
When she stood up, Eren went to grab her but ended up accidentally using his
still injured hand and yelped in pain. He didn't even touch her, just closed
his fingers slightly, trying to grab her scrubs before she got too far away.
She closed the door behind her as she left and he began to make quick work on
the dead skin, though it started to steam once she turned her back to him when
she left. He was grateful for his normal healing, that it took longer to start
so Petra didn't see the stream coming out of his now freshly pink wounds, but
he couldn't explain how he no longer had burnt fingers. He could no longer keep
the illusion up anymore. No matter how much he wanted to, he wasn't going to
cause himself any more pain by letting his wounds continue to heal slowly by
themselves when he could ease the pain in a matter of moments.
By the time that Petra came back, holding a new tray full of new food and
medicine, his fingers now pink and tender to the touch, no longer steaming
either. She placed the tray next to the door and rushed back over to Eren. He
had hidden his hands behind his back to try and give him some time to think of
an explanation as she kneeled in front of him and started to unpack small rolls
of cloth and tubes from her large pockets. Once she set everything out in front
of her, she placed her hand out, waiting for Eren to give her his.
"Eren, please give me your hand," she whispered. "I just want to help."
She gave him such pleading look that he couldn't stop himself from slowly
pulling his hands away from his back and placing him in her's. Petra was
already reaching for a white tube before even looking at his hands but the tube
dropped from her fingers when she saw his healed fingers. Though they would
never fully go back to his normal healthy skin, his fingers and toes would
forever be an ugly, shiny pink and covered in slight wrinkling that could
barely be seen. His healing abilities, though extraordinary and lifesaving,
couldn't heal the scarring that covered the majority of his body. She turned
his hands over, examining them like they were wonders of the world and ran her
fingers over the new scars. Looking at him with fascination and confusion, she
opened her mouth to ask him a question that shattered him.
"What are you?"
Human.
That's what she wanted to tell her. It was at the tip of his tongue but
couldn't lie to the woman in front of him. Couldn't lie to the only other
person that wanted to treat him instead of inflicting pain or ignoring him. He
answered truthfully. "I don't know." God, he hated that his voice betrayed how
conflicted he felt about telling the truth to her. He sounded so broken and
small.
She must have seen the struggle that he was enduring all over his face because
she gripped her hands around his and squeezed them. "Well, I know who you are,"
she told him.
He looked up at her in confusion until she gave him on her warm smiles. "You're
Eren."
"Why? Why are you doing this?" he asked, tears starting to build in his eyes.
"I've heard what they've said about you. They warn me about what you are and
what you've done before I bring you your food every day-"
"I know what they call me," he breathed as he turned his head away from her
gaze.
"But I've never listened to them, Eren."
"You should!"
He didn't mean to shout but he kept imagining Petra laying dead in front of
him, either by his hand or the people that walked the halls outside his room.
"Hitch died because of me and that man-! That man is gone because I couldn't
control my strength and I'm the monster they say I am! I'm a freak and-"
Eren was cut off by her arms wrapping suddenly around him, making him stiff as
he was pressed tightly against her chest. He realized suddenly that she was
giving him a hug and couldn't think of the last time someone had touched him,
or even anything close to something like this. He couldn't help but think of
the faceless woman who had been his mother, whose hair he couldn't think of or
the smile that made him feel safe and grounded. His body became to feel cold,
goosebumps raising as he pushed the faceless form to the back of his mind as
more tears threatened to spill onto his cheeks. He could feel Petra holding him
tighter and then moved one of her hands to his hair, running her soft fingers
thru the knots. She had placed his head underneath hers which was somewhat
difficult with him being several inches taller than her but he didn't fight her
on it.
"Eren, I want you to listen to me, okay?" she asked softly.
She waited until he nodded. "You're not a monster. The monsters are the ones
that are doing these things to you. That man-... that monster that died knew
what he was doing to you, what he was putting you through and you acted in
self-defense. You're still a child. And with Hitch-" A whimper uncontrollably
escaped his lips at the sound of her name. "She helped you because she couldn't
stand by and see them starving a child to see how long they lasted. The
monsters outside preyed on her because of her compassion and it isn't your
fault."
Eren couldn't keep the tears in anymore and finally, let go as a sob tore him
apart as he became boneless in her hold. Petra continued to play with his hair
and whisper again that it wasn't his fault, something he never knew he needed
to hear. He honestly didn't know how long he cried into her chest, staining her
blue scrubs with his tears but it was long enough for him to develop a headache
that pulsed slightly behind his eyes. His tears slowed down and finally started
to calm down, but Petra continued to wait for him to get everything out,
rubbing his back in small circles. Eventually, she peeled Eren off of him but
motioned him to lay on the bed. When he laid down, she moved his head so when
she sat down it was laying on her lap. Her fingers returned to his head and
lightly scratched her nails into his scalp, making a low rumbling appear in his
throat, catching him off guard but made Petra laugh.
"You purr," she snickered. "Like a big, old house cat."
He turned red from embarrassment but could do nothing to stop the purring when
she continued to scratch his head. When she stopped and instead just rested her
hand on top of his hair, he turned toward her to see her smile gone and
concentrating.
"Can I promise you something?" she asked, turning to meet his eyes.
He was more tempted to shake his head, that he didn't want to expect or hope
whatever she was going to promise because most likely she would be dead before
she could fulfill it. However, he just nodded his head slightly, regretting the
action as soon as he did.
"I'm going to get you out," she whispered.
His eyes probably widened comically as he heard her words echo throughout his
head and had to believe that he misheard her or this was a cruel joke that she
was throwing at him. Though from the seriousness and concentration that was
coming off of her, she wasn't joking and he wanted to start crying all over
again. He immediately tries to extinguish the rising hope that was building
inside of him. That this petite woman, who probably could barely take him down,
was to somehow sneak him out past his guards and whatever else awaited outside
of his door.
"How?" he questioned.
She smiled down at him. "There's always a way out, sweetie. You just need to
figure out the right methods. Though it's going to take some time and I'll need
you to hold out for a bit longer."
"How much longer?"
He honestly didn't know how much longer he was going to last in this place when
it only took one session going too far and they wouldn't be able to restart his
heart again. That would be the end of him and he would never see the warmth of
this woman in front of him again.
“Soon,” she explained. “Definitely sooner rather than later, I just have to get
some plans together before even attempting to do this.”
She then started to scratch at his scalp once again, making him grow tired, the
events of the day started to lay heavily on him and he closed his eyes. He
didn’t remember falling asleep but what he did remember when he woke up was
that Petra was gone and it was the first time that he didn’t have a nightmare.
 
The lab coats gave him time to recover from his previous session and only took
him in twice to get his blood tested, making sure that he was still actively
taking his pills. It gave him more time to spend with Petra when she visited.
She stayed for her usual amount of time when she delivered his food but
sometimes would visit in between meals and stay for much longer. He had asked
her how she managed to do it, but she just said that it was a secret before
winking at him. Though he quickly noticed that she only came when certain
guards were stationed at his door and wondered what she did to buy their
silence. He only hoped that she offered them something that didn’t harm her in
any way. She never showed up with tangled hair or lips that were swollen like
Hitch’s and was surprisingly grateful for it.
When she didn’t speak about what shows she was watching, which Eren was getting
some grasp on but still hopelessly lost, she started talking about her life
outside his walls. He learned that she was an only child and had only her dad,
though he was currently in poor health and recovering from a recent heart
attack. She lived by herself with two cats that were passed onto her by an
insane friend that had bit off more than she could chew.
“She could barely remember to fed herself, and I grabbed them before they
decided to eat her in her sleep,” she laughed.
He expected to feel a deep, ugly jealousy whenever she talked about her life,
something he once had and couldn’t remember but small fragments that were too
tiny to grasp fully. However he found himself just eager to find out anything
about life outside, he soaked up the information like a sponge and drank in
every last detail. She explained that in her last job she had been there for
over five years working as a secretary, to which Eren had to ask her what that
word was.
“It’s mostly just answering calls and scheduling meetings for the bosses, it’s
pretty boring except when I can go with them to the field, making sure that
everything goes as planned,” she reminisced. “I have some medical training when
I worked under my friend that couldn’t keep cats, though it was mandatory for
everyone to know some basic things.”
Eren was slowly growing a picture of what Petra’s life was like, the people
that she surrounded herself with even if she mostly only mentioned two; her
crazy friend that can’t be trusted with animals and a man that she placed in
high regards. She always had a certain glint in her eyes when she talked about
his foul mouth and the attitude that made most hightail the opposite direction
of him. He couldn’t see how this man she went on and on about could be a good
friend, especially from the way she explained how he greeted certain people and
that he enjoyed tea than being around others.
“He could have a staring contest with a snake and win,” she would explain with
a slight smile on her face.
He could barely remember what his mother’s face looked like but he had seen
that glint in Petra’s eyes before. It was the same look that his mother would
give him, to which he felt almost embarrassed when he opened his mouth to ask
her his question.
“Do you love him?” he asked softly.
Eren had been greeted with a shocked expression from her, but it spilled into a
large smile before she began to laugh hysterically. He for a second feared
about the guards hearing her, but he remembered that she was visiting in-
between meals and that they knew their time was up when they knocked twice on
the door. After Petra would leave, the guards would be replaced with the next
shift a little while after she disappeared. He immediately felt foolish for
even asking the question.
“Oh, is someone jealous?” she laughed, reaching across the bed and pinching his
cheek slightly.
He swatted her hand away lightheartedly, still wary about his strength since he
never knew when it would appear and could feel his face burning. “No, of
course, I’m not. It’s just…”
She waited patiently for him to continue, something that he immediately liked
about her, never pushing for him to share anything if he wasn’t ready to.
“You-...you get this look in your eye whenever you talk about him,” he
continued.
Petra nodded at his comment and leaned against the wall next to Eren, they were
mostly shoulder to shoulder, though her shoulder was slightly below his. She
placed her hand under her chin like she was deep in thought but it was
exaggerated to the point that he knew that she was still poking fun at him.
Though her face turned slightly serious as she faced toward him.
“Honestly, I may have had a crush on him at first, mostly because dark and
mysterious is something a girl can’t resist but realized that he was already
committed to something,” she told him. “It was his work, of course. He didn’t
have time for anything else, barely had time for friends.”
He nodded at her to indicate that he understood everything that she was saying,
to signal her to keep going. “It mostly all started before I got the job with
him and everyone else...My dad and I had been barely scraping by and I was
involved with-... how should I put this?...Less than ideal individuals. They
were bad people and I did some less than questionable things to make it by. We
had a deal going with another group of people and something went wrong. I got
injured...I thought I was going to die but Levi was nearby and heard the
commotion.”
He finally got a name for the mysterious man that he tried to picture in his
mind. She never explained what he looked like besides being dark, mysterious,
and constantly having a scowl on his face.
“He saved my life, stopped the bleeding and listened to my story. After he took
care of me, he offered my dad and me a job at his work. Of course, I thought
that it was too true to be real. I mean, this beautiful stranger swoops into my
troubled life and offers me a way out.”
“What did you do?” Eren found himself asking.
“I took his offer of course. I’ve been grateful to him ever since and I can
probably never repay him for what he’s done for me. So no, I don’t love him,
but I do consider him a great friend and my savior.”
That was mostly the last time that she talked about Levi or her previous job,
he could tell that she would mentally go back to those times and have a soft,
sad smile reminiscing about them. He could clearly tell that she missed those
people in her previous life and couldn’t bring himself to ask her anymore, even
if he wanted to know more about this mysterious Levi.
To quickly changed the subjected she asked him a simple question. “What would
be the first thing you’d want to do after we find your family?”
She had promised that along with getting him out, she would help him with
finding the rest of his family, though he knew that his mother was dead and he
couldn’t remember anything about his two friends. He couldn’t help but feel
hope, even if it was the tiniest flicker, whenever she talked about his escape
and the possibility of breathing in fresh air.
“The ocean,” he suddenly recalled. “I made a promise to see it with them.”
 
The sessions started back up and thankfully nothing was as intense as the last
one he endured for the first couple of times he was dragged down the hall.
Though some of them still sent him into a panic if they restricted his head or
approached him with a large needle. Petra seemed to always know when the lab
coats pushed his body almost to the breaking point, if she couldn’t come in
between meals, she would act like she normally would until the door closes
behind her. Placing the tray door near his bed frame, she would pull him into a
hug and start scratching his scalp, his weakness. He would try and tell her
that he was fine, forcing a small, nonreassuring smile across his face, and
failing at proving to her that he was in fact ‘fine.’
Over time, Eren began to feel guilty about hearing Petra’s life when he gave
nothing to her in return. He tried to raid his mind, to see if he could salvage
anything from his old life but always came up short. It made him beyond
frustrated with himself but he couldn’t do anything to jog his memory or help
make him remember. However, when Petra was updating him on the plot of the
doctor in space, during one of her visits, and began to zone out. He couldn’t
help it and felt the slightest bit of guilt but he couldn’t even try to keep up
with the plot she was describing. He instinctively nodded his head if he heard
her pause, giving her some proof that he was still listening but still had no
clue what she was going on about. He kept thinking of things that he could have
done before he was placed in his room, not of the people surrounding him, never
that or else he wouldn’t be able to get rid of the pain in his chest until he
couldn’t think about anything else. Suddenly, a memory hit him like a ton of
bricks, he could hear Petra stop talking and asking him what’s wrong before
grabbing his hand lightly.
He suddenly remembered laying on a rough carpet, paint, and pencils surrounding
him and splattered across a piece of paper beneath him. He felt strangely proud
of the painting below him and he couldn’t even remember what was on it, though
it was colored in an array of bright, colorful colors. Next to him was his
mother’s faceless figure, clapping her hands and praising him in his drawing
abilities though he couldn’t imagine her voice.
“Drawing,” he whispered, coming back from his memory.
He looked over at Petra to see confusion all over her face as he felt tears
filling his eyes, even though he tried to hold them back, they spilled over
when he opened his mouth once again. “I used to draw.”
She suddenly gave him a sad smile, and before he knew what was happening, she
pulled him into a tight hug.
 
The next time she came into to deliver his meal, a notebook was hidden
underneath the tray and she hid a pencil in her pocket. He almost wept at the
gift as she placed it in his hands and told him to hide it under his bed if
someone tried to come in. Some of the pages had been drawn in already, guessing
that they’re from Petra herself. She explained that she wanted him to recreate
the drawings that were already there so he can build back his skill. When he
first tried to redraw a simple shape, his hands shook with the foreign feeling
of an object in his hands and using it to write, something he hadn’t done in a
long time.
As repayment, he did something that he hadn't done without the lab coats
commanding him to do it, he shifted for her. She had hinted that she knew about
his shifting abilities and wondering if his fur was soft like Sonny and Bean’s.
He really didn’t give her warning mostly because he didn’t want her to witness
the actual change even if it didn’t hurt as much as it once did, the bending of
his bones would probably frighten her. He didn’t want there to be a chance that
she would faint or anything like that so he waited until after a meal and when
the two guards she used the most for her in-between visits, he shifted. He
hadn’t been worried about the guards taking him in for a session since they
just recently took him in and the chance that they were going to again soon
after was such a slim chance that he wasn’t worried. That was until he was in
his other form and started to overthink if the guards came in and try to force
him down the hallway, they would inject him with the serum that they all had,
that forced him to change back though it was a thousand times more painful to
go through the change that way.
It didn’t take Petra too long to come back from whatever tasks she had and she
looked like she was about to pass out when her eyes fell on his form. He had
tried, but apparently failed at, making himself look unthreatening, but he was,
in fact, a large cat with a mouth full of canine teeth that could puncture
flesh with the slightest pressure. Eren had laid on the bed, stretched out and
was flickering his tail since he never had the chance to figure it out,
whenever he chanced it was always tucked under his legs or flailing around,
knocking everything over.
“Eren?” she suddenly asked.
He nodded, trying to make the movement big so she would understand since he
knew for a fact that he couldn’t speak in this form. Her eyes grew large,
moving toward him and reached out a hand toward him once she neared the bed.
She looked at him with question, probably asking permission to touch him, which
he didn’t expect to appreciate so much. He responded by just leaning himself
closer to her, to which she started to run her fingers through his back.
“You’re so soft,” she suddenly laughed. “Oh, Hanji would have loved this.”
Petra mostly spent the remainder of the time just petting him, running her
fingers through his fur and scratch his head. She told him multiple times that
if he wanted to change back, that he could but he just shook his head. He still
didn’t want her to see the process of him changing and also he was surprisingly
comfortable in this form. He never thought of shifting into his cat outside of
the lab and didn’t think that he would enjoy it as much as he did now. It felt
like he was stretching for the first time, being able to finally stretch his
limbs and fall into a relaxed state.
Once she left, he decided to stay in the form for a bit longer until he could
hear the guards changing their shifts. He focused on his limbs and mouth to
return back to normal and felt the familiar burn of muscles snapping and
reforming until he was back to normal. His breathing began to come out heavier,
starting to tire from shifting back and forth so quickly but when he opened his
eyes, he found that he had his scarred fingers and limbs back instead of his
soft, pink pads. Soon after, the door opened showing his new round of guards
waiting for him in the hall and he hoped that it would just be a simple blood
test since he didn’t have the strength to go through anything too intense.
 
He started to fall into a familiar rhythm, and the visits with Petra were
always his favorite part. He started to yearn for the small touches that she
gives him. He always welcomed the scratches on his scalp or the circles she
would make on his back to calm him down. However, whenever she visited right
after coming back from a session, especially if it was anything to do with
being restrained to the table or coming back from the dead, he would have to
get reacquainted with her scent, strawberries, and citrus. He would flinch away
from her touch, having to remind himself that it was Petra, that she wasn’t
going to hurt him if he didn’t want to head straight into a panic. The hurt
look that she tried to mask immediately never failed to fill him with guilt and
he would then let her talk about whatever she wanted to, to make himself feel a
bit better about hurting her.
Whenever she wasn’t seeing him, he would be sketching away on the notebook that
was almost full, and he had outgrown the shapes that Petra made in the
beginning of the book. He hadn’t let her see the book until she was mostly
begging him for a sneak peek and she had commented on how good he was. He,
however, didn’t feel like he was at all. Yes he was making progress but he
always felt like something was off with the sketches and when he tried to fix
it, he messed it up even more. Drawing starts to become his escape from the
walls surrounding him. Petra soon brought in photos of random objects, things
that he could recognize but couldn’t recall what they were called. She even
brought photos in of her cats, urging Eren to keep growing in his talent.
At first, he saw no point in trying to hope that he would get better, but she
always reminded him of her plan of getting him out, that it was happening soon
but she just needed to get some more things settled. That he could use his
talents to help him when he gets out and make a life for himself. He wanted to
ask if she would still be in his life when he was out, that she would be there
to help when he wakes up thinking that he’s still in here. Eren knew that he
was going to have nightmares for the rest of his life because of this place,
that would never be able to get over everything that happened here, and wanted
Petra at his side to help.
He started to grow some confidence with his drawing and started to sketch out
Petra. It took multiple attempts for him to feel satisfied that it actually
looked like her but the hardest part was her eyes. He tried to figure out how
to capture the warmth that filled them, the layers of brown and gold that
reflected only if the artificial light hit them at the right angle. Whenever
she asked to see what he’s been drawing recently, he would show specific pages
but never of ones that were full of her, at different angles or sometimes just
her eyes. He felt guilty for not telling her about the drawings but when he
thinks about showing her, his cheeks would burn up with embarrassment and
convinces himself out of it.
Eren had been extremely careful about the notebook and the pencils that he had
been hoarding. He tried to not too sucked up into sketching, always keeping an
ear open listening for any tells that they were going to open the door.
Somehow, he always manages to tuck the book and pencils between the bedframe
and the mattress before the door is fully opened to reveal his guards.
One time, however, he was to focused on working on her cat, Bean, and planning
to give it to her, trying to repay her in some way for everything she’s done
for him so far and for what she’s going to do too. He didn’t hear the door open
and continued to draw the patterns in the cat’s black and white fur.
“Where the hell did you find that?!” one of the guard’s voice echoed throughout
the room.
He tried and failed to hide the evidence in his hands by putting the notebook
where he usually hid it but failed when the guard ripped it from his hands. He
reached out to grab it back but the other guard, he recognized as Mark, grabbed
his hand and yanked him to stand in front of him. Gripping both of his arms and
pinning them behind his back, causing him to yelp in pain. The other guard held
the notebook in front of him, waving it around.
“Where did you get this?” he questioned, authority oozing out of his voice.
They’ve had to know where he got it from. He only saw one person regularly but
refused to open his mouth and give them the satisfaction of actually saying her
name. His head shook in response and Mark brought his arms closer together,
making a pained whine escape his throat. The guard frowned at him, clearly not
expecting him to rebel, and opened the book to start looking through.
“Oh, what do we have here?” he snickered.
The guard ripped a page out to show Mark one of his many sketches of Petra.
“Really? Do you have a crush on that slut of a nurse?” Mark laughed.
Eren continued to struggle against him as the guard took the page and started
tearing it apart and then throwing it into the toilet. He started begging them
to stop, as he continued to shred the notebook apart and could do nothing as
the last of the notebook was throw into the hallway. Mark finally let go of him
and he sagged onto the floor, frozen as the only evidence that he was good at
anything was flushed down the drain. The guards left the room mostly without
another word toward him, laughing at his drawings, and closed the door behind
them. They didn’t return to take him down the hall like he expected, and Eren
couldn’t bring himself to get off the ground and look at the remaining shredded
drawings surrounding him.
 
He knew that they were starving him again, or maybe the time was flowing so
slowly because he didn’t have his sketches to keep him company and Petra never
visited him. When the two guards that were always stationed appeared, he hoped
that she would have managed to sneak in, or that their deal was still on so he
wouldn’t have to deal with this silence anymore. However, their shift ended and
replaced by other guards and she didn’t come. He started fearing that she had
met the same fate of Hitch but threw it aside every time that the thought
reared its head. Eren couldn’t live through any other person dying for him and
he just hoped that the next time the door opened that it was Petra with her
warm smile, instead of Djel with more photos.
The stomach pains and cramps continued to eat at him as time went on without a
meal or any indication that one was coming anytime soon. However, when the door
opened the next time, he expected to see his guards since he didn’t hear
Petra’s tell of two knocks, but we greeted by another woman in blue scrubs. She
was extremely pale with black hair and ruby lips, her black eyes frantically
looked over him before placing the tray next to him and hurrying out of the
room. He looked at the food but couldn’t bring himself to reach down and gobble
it down within seconds, not when Petra wasn’t the one delivering his food
anymore.
His mind ran in circles as he tried to think of what had happened to her. She
had to be lying in a morgue somewhere, dead and gone from this world. He
couldn’t see that she suddenly quit and left him behind, not when she promised
to help him escape. He kept fearing and imagining the worst, that Petra was
gone and he was going to rot away in this place.
The next time that the door opened, it was his guards, the ones that Petra only
used when she came to visit him in-between her meal delivery. He wanted to ask
them if they happened to know anything but they didn’t say anything but one of
them indicated with his head to start moving down the hall. Getting off the bed
and abandoning his forgotten food, though he regretfully swallowed his pills,
Eren started to follow them both down the hallway. They were the only ones that
didn’t restrain him and he kept looking at the back of their heads, trying to
summon the courage to ask them where Petra was but failed every time he started
to open his mouth.
When they arrived in front of the white double doors, one of them swiped his
card while the other went behind him. Once the doors opened, he felt the man’s
sudden breath at the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry but she’s not coming back,” he whispered before escorting him into
the dark lab.
 
He couldn’t feel anything. He barely ate anything that his new caretaker
brought him, just the pills. Every bite felt like too much to push down his
throat even if he barely nibbled at the bread and he had to constantly remind
himself to actually swallow the medication instead of letting it just sit in
his mouth, coating every inch of his mouth in the chalky substance that he
hated. He spent hours staring at the wall, always feeling a chill even when he
surrounded himself with every blanket and pillows he was allowed to have. The
warmth kept leaking out from him.
Eren tried to understand what he’s done for Petra to suddenly leave, to quit
and leave him still trapped in this place. He thought that maybe the same
people that hurt Hitch were trying to hurt her and she had to leave for her own
safety...but she still promised to take him with her. His hand twitched every
once in a while, feeling the need to draw once again but he just shook his hand
and ignored the need.
The nightmare of his mother's death still haunted him in his dreams, but before
it would end, he found himself in this room. Petra would be waiting for him on
his bed, sometimes she would greet him with her familiar smile or she would
stare blankly at the door. She would comfort him, saying that she'll come back,
before she stiffens and blood would bloom under her blue scrubs. Her body would
suddenly slack and she'd fall onto his bed, straining it in blood, lifeless,
and he could do nothing but stare as her body turned cold. Other times, she
would scream at him, raising her once comforting voice and lashing him with
words he never imagined coming out of her mouth. She would call him a monster,
that he was, in fact, the reason why Hitch and that man died, that she couldn't
believe that he bought her lie of saving him. The place he belonged was behind
these walls, where he could be contained and controlled, and if he died, then
no one would know or care.
It didn't matter which way the dream ended, he awoke with tears staining his
face and his breath coming out in painful pants.
When every time the door opens, somewhere in his heart, he hopes that it's
Petra, to greet him with the only warmth he was ever given. However, it's
always his guards or the new caretaker that refuses to make eye contact with
him, and he scolds himself for thinking that she would come back for him. He
wants the hope in his chest to just die, to flicker out, so he can stop
thinking that there was a chance to escape.
 
While he laid down, wishing for the hundredth time that he wouldn’t wake up
from the nightmare that plagued his dreams, the heard two faint knocks. His
heart sped up but choose to ignore it, especially from the many times that his
mind played tricks on him and imagined the knocking but the door never opened.
He pulled the blanket more over his head and burrowed himself into his cold
mattress, trying to make himself warm again. Then the door opened. He sat up in
one fluid motion, though it made him lightheaded and watched as Petra, in her
blue scrubs, entered the room. His body froze as she smiled at him and walked
across the short distance to him.
I must be dreaming. This has to be a dream.
“Eren, I’ve missed you,” she continued to smile.
She went to touch his arm but flinched away in response, staring at her with
wide eyes and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the blood to
start staining her scrubs and for to grow pale before falling dead on the
ground beneath her. His ears started ringing as he saw her mouth moving,
probably trying to comfort him, but he just covered his ears with his hands.
“Wake up, wake up, wake up,” he commanded himself.
Please just let this dream end.
Suddenly he felt his shoulders being grabbed and shaken, Eren pulled all of his
attention onto Petra. “This isn’t a dream, I’m here, sweetie,” she whispered to
him, trying to keep eye contact with him.
“Why?” he asked when he found his voice. “Why did you leave me?”
She placed her hand on his cheek, giving him a sad smile before rubbing the pad
of her thumb on his cheek. “Once they figured out that I’ve been spending a lot
more time than just the scheduled feedings with you, they put me on suspension
as punishment so we’re going to have to be more careful with our visits,” she
explained.
“It wasn’t because of me?”
“No, sweetie. I would never leave you here, especially if I thought I couldn’t
get back to you.”
The heavyweight that had been on his shoulders lifted off of him, filling him
with relief but then he started to worry about Petra. They now knew that she
was spending unscheduled time with him, what if the people that hurt Hitch now
came after her?
“I don’t want you to get into any more trouble, Petra,” he confessed.
“I made a promise to you Eren, that I would get you out, and I plan on going
through with it,” she confidently told him as her hand squeezed his shoulder.
His old fears began to come to the surface as his doubts about getting out
crashed into him. “What if the sessions become too intense, what if I die on
that table before you figure out your plan? I don’t know if I can hold out any
longer-”
“You have to Eren. It’s only for a little bit more, I swear.”
He started to shake his head but she gripped his shoulders harder, drawing his
attention back to her.
“Someone is waiting for you out there, Eren. They have been waiting to find you
after all these years. Your friends are waiting for you to come back, they want
to go to the ocean with you,” she frantically added, he could tell that she was
trying to get him to see reason.
“Don’t you understand?” he asked, starting to feel anger rising within him. “My
mother is dead, my friends have probably forgotten all about me, and I can’t
even remember what they look like! How am I supposed help you find people that
I know nothing about?”
He could feel himself falling apart, shaking and finally realizing how hopeless
he would be. Even if he got out, no one would be waiting for him. Petra grabbed
his face with both hands, snapping out of the endless spiral that he was
throwing himself into.
“The people that I’ve mentioned before, Levi and Hanji…they can help. They have
the resources to find anyone even with limited information about them. I
promise you that they will find them,” she declared.
He desperately wanted to believe everything that came out of her mouth, but he
had more doubt in his body’s ability to keep going than anything else. It
deteriorated with every passing day and the meager amount of food they gave him
wasn’t coming close to the actual amount he needed to have any energy. He would
deal with it though, put all of his efforts into living through each session
while Petra continued to work on her plan to get him out. He believed in the
woman in front of him that was offering him his freedom and he just hoped that
he lived to see it to the end.
“Promise?” he asked as he placed both of his hand on top of hers and squeezed
them gently.
She nodded in response, grabbed his hand and placed them on top of her heart,
could feel it pounding beneath her flesh. “Promise.”
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     Next chapter is Levi's! Finally get to see Mr. Grumpy after all this
     time! This is definitely not as long as last chapter update though.
     Also, I apologize in advance, hopefully, you don't hate me after
     reading the chapter! Enjoy!
Trying to get back to his normal schedule was harder than Eren thought.
Pretending to not go into a panic when the door opened and hoping that they
somehow haven’t heard Petra’s and his conversations about escaping. Whenever it
was Petra that came through the door, the relief that rushed through him made
him feel idiotic, that they were being as careful as possible. They barely
mentioned her plan and he was mostly left clueless, which Eren hated but knew
that the less he knew the better. When she wasn’t the one that greeted him, he
tried to hide his panic and thankfully the guards didn’t notice or thought that
it was nerves from having to go back to the lab. Part of it was.
Walking down the hall was becoming more of a challenge every time he left his
room. He wondered if he’d even come back to his room or be carried out in a
body bag, leaving Petra to find his room empty. They hadn’t thrown an intense
session at him yet, which he was grateful, especially with not knowing how much
more trauma his scarred body can take. With every visit, she reminded him that
it wouldn’t be long before he was out, that he just needed to keep going for a
little bit longer, but every time she said that he was getting more frustrated.
He wanted to at least know a window, a time frame where he can up all of his
remaining energy into, focus on surviving at least until then.
The only time that Petra was allowed to visit him was during his meals. Even if
the guards that she bribed before were stationed, she didn't visit. He
understood it was meant to not raise suspension but he missed the extra time
she spent with him, even if he didn't understand half of the words coming out
of her mouth meant. She was caught before, though it was mostly his fault for
not hiding his notebook better, and she didn't want another thing to set them
back on their plan. Well, her plan.
The food that had been delivered in his tray seemed like they were shrinking in
size like they were trying to keep him from regaining any strength. Petra
seemed to catch on too because she began sneaking food to him through her
pockets. The amount of food she managed to fit inside of her pockets boggled
his mind. She threw all of the pieces of bread and rice into the empty bags she
carried and replaced them with meats and vegetables. Even with his senses
numbed by his medication, he could taste the freshness of the food that she
brought him and teared up at eating meat that didn't threaten to break his
teeth. The vegetables that passed through, if he could even tell if they were,
mushed into nothing inside his mouth, falling apart and almost tasted
revolting. After he finished eating all of the food that Petra made him, she
would make sure all of the bags that she brought were stuffed into her pockets
and asked Eren if she looked abnormal. Usually, it was a no, but sometimes he
could see the bulk that the plastic bags made if they were stuffed too close
together, which he would quickly inform her before she took a step toward the
door.
On top of bringing him food, Petra instructed him to just walk around his room,
walk the perimeter a couple of times in between her visits. She explained that
he needed to build some sort of muscles back in his legs, even if it was a
little bit since she didn't know what could happen if something went wrong.
When he first started, he tried to take it too far. Walking so much that his
muscles in his calves ached for hours and he felt weak for not being able to
last that long. Petra scolded him when she found out that he overworked
himself, saying that he would make himself worse if he pushed too far.
He didn't push himself as hard as he did the first time but he could feel that
he was making some progress with his legs. They didn't give out within twenty
laps around his room anymore and the number increased almost every time he
began the exercise. The praise that he receives from Petra helped him want to
do better and last longer through, getting closer to his goal of going around
the room sixty times before feeling his muscles starting to tense.
During one of his meals with Petra, his legs feeling sore and shoving down food
into his throat, she was being abnormally quiet. Her mind was obviously
somewhere else and not even asking if she wanted to update him on anything
about her doctor show helped. She sat next to him, her legs pressed against his
and the empty baggies were spread across the mattress.
"Eren, when I come to visit you again, it's going to be the last time we're
going to be like this," she admitted. "I still can't tell you a lot but at
least now you can prepare yourself a little bit."
His heart then decided to pound wildly in his chest. His mind hadn’t processed
that he was leaving, that he was close to freedom but now that he had a time
frame of how close it was, his hands won’t stop trembling. He had been
frustrated and mad at Petra from withholding this information from him, but now
he understood why she did. Anxiety started to grip onto him, fully
understanding that he’d soon leave this god awful place and that he was still
very much in the dark about this plan.
“I need you to understand something,” she cautioned, grabbing onto both of his
hands to stop the trembling and pulling his focus completely on her.
She had an expression on that she only wore a handful of times, she was
concentrated and cold, and he knew he needed to hear everything she had to say.
“People are going to get hurt. It’s unavoidable since they will stop at nothing
to get you back. You’re that important to them,” she confessed.
He was silent for a while, taking in her words before asking his one question.
"How hurt are we talking about?"
"People may die."
Her response was too quick and emotionless to his liking but he had been
thinking about their escape for a long time, and he couldn't see them just
walking out of here without any bloodshed. Did the men and women outside of his
room deserve to be killed so he can live? The lab coats that tormented him and
created all of the scars throughout his body, yes. He surprised himself with
how little empathy he felt for them but they have been laying blades into him
and repeatedly killed him over their need to learn about him. Not all of the
guards deserved to be killed, at least not the ones that Petra paid off. though
if they stumbled upon the bald-headed one, his opinion might change. However,
the other people that he's never interacted with or even know that he's
here...no they didn't deserve to die, especially not over him.
Petra must have seen the inner war he was having with himself because she
squeezed his hands slightly. "I will try to keep the casualties to a minimum
but I can't promise that no one will get hurt."
He looked into her eyes and could see that she was telling the truth. There was
a large possibility that they weren’t going to walk out of here without their
hands coated in blood.
 
To distract himself from the impending escape, he walked. He probably did it a
lot longer than he should since when he stopped, his muscles ached and screamed
in protest when he pushed himself too hard. Eren couldn’t help it, he needed to
pump all of his nervous energy into something and he couldn’t do it if he sat
in bed all the time.
Shortly after Petra’s news, they took him in for another blood work and he
worried that they’d be able to tell that he’s been getting extra food but
everything went like they usually did. No one came barging into his room
demanding answers after he returned but it still made him paranoid so he kept
walking. When he wasn’t making a hole in the floor, Eren sat on his bed
literally twiddling his thumbs, not knowing what to do with himself.
The next time that Petra came in, she brought more meat and protein with her
and let him eat some bread that she gave him. She also grabbed the pills before
Eren could pick them up and threw them into the bag with the mushy meat that he
would have eaten.
“I’m going to need you more aware when we do this, Eren. I would have made you
stop taking them on my last visit but I knew they planned on doing another
blood lab but didn’t know when. Thankfully they did it after I left or else our
plan would be a little harder than it already is,” she explained thoroughly as
she placed all of the bags back into her pockets.
Even though she was masking it a whole lot better than he was, he could tell
that she was getting nervous for what laid ahead. She was trying to put a front
for him so he thought at least one of them was level-headed. However, he was
pleased to know that he wasn’t the only one that was freaking out about what
they were going to do.
“Just think, Eren,” she whispered to him, putting a hand on his knee. “The next
time we see each other, it’ll be on our way to freedom.”
The smile he received from her was forced, even though she tried her hardest to
keep him from knowing. “We’ll get through this together,” he found himself
reassuring her.
She blinked in surprise but her actually smile appeared instead of the one she
pushed herself to pull. Petra nodded before grabbing both of his hand and they
both squeezed each other's at the same time, trying to convince the other and
themselves that everything would turn out okay. That they would both live
through this.
 
Petra gave him some advice before she left, don’t waste energy. She didn’t want
him to walk around his room and his legs to be in pain or even aching when her
plan was in effect. Her reasoning was that she didn’t know what could happen
and if they needed to run, she wanted Eren to actually be able to use his legs.
Though he had trouble following her only order, he itched to use all this pent-
up energy that he’s gained from the food that Petra snuck him. With the nerves
that were quickly overflowing inside of him, he wanted to run around the room,
to just release at least some of it, but the fear of something going wrong kept
him planted on his mattress.
He was beyond jumpy and it didn’t help with his senses slowly coming back,
every minute it felt like he could hear farther and smell the scents of
everyone that passed by his room. If he concentrated hard enough he could hear
his guards breathing outside of his room and wondered if he wasn’t on his bed
but rather closer to the door if he can hear their heartbeats. He would have to
get used to having these heightened senses, especially when he would be hearing
more than just gossip outside of his door soon enough.
The next time that the door opened, he was greeted by Petra with her usual tray
of food. However, as soon as the door closed she rushed over to Eren and
dropped the tray on the bed. She dug a bar, like the ones that Hitch had given
him, and put it into his hands. He swallowed down the memory of Hitch, someone
he hasn’t thought about in a while, as he tore into the bar of nuts and dried
fruit. It tasted heavenly in his mouth and he wished he could taste the food
that Petra made for him with his new tongue.
“Eren, can you promise me something before we start this?” she whispered to him
as he consumed the bar. “If I say run, run...even if I’m not running with you.”
His head started shaking before he could respond to her. All he could think
about how eerily sounded familiar to the last thing that his mother said.
“I’ll be right behind you, I swear, but if things go sideways, I need to know
that you will do as I say,” she continued, taking his hand.
He caught on quickly that whenever she did that, she was trying to get through
to him or to just get him to listen to what was coming out of her mouth.
Unwillingly, he nodded.
“No, I need to hear you say it, Eren,” she demanded. “I can’t have you
hesitating on me.”
“I’ll do what you say,” he uttered.
He didn’t know if he could keep his word but he would try his hardest. However,
he didn’t know if he could leave Petra behind if she told him to. She searched
his face before giving his hands a last squeeze before letting them go and
standing up.
“So what’s going to happen is that I’m going to get the guard’s attention, he’s
going to come in here and probably going to grab you. I’m going to need you to
just go with it so we can avoid any injuries,” she explained as she grabbed the
tray and stood near the bed.
“What are you going to do after that?” he asked.
“I’m going to knock him out, of course,” Petra continued. “Now get up and stand
near me.”
He couldn’t imagine this petite woman taking down one of his guards but he
trusted her and did as she said. Suddenly she slammed the tray down on the
ground and screamed, turning into this person he didn’t recognize. She reacted
to him like she never saw him before and ran toward the door. He was
dumbfounded as the door slammed open with one of his guards rushing in, taking
in the scene and immediately reaching for Eren. Instinctively, he wanted to
twist away from the man’s hand but remembered that Petra wanted him to not
resist. He found himself on the ground next, his arms being twisted onto his
back, making him cry out in pain.
“Oh, thank you! He suddenly tried to grab me and I was so scared!” Petra cried.
“I’ve warned you many times, you can’t trust something like it. And!-...” he
ranted before suddenly being cut off and the pressure on his arms was released.
Eren twisted around to see the guard’s body lying next to him and Petra
towering over him with an empty needle in her hand. She reached out a hand
toward him and helped him get onto his feet. “You hurt?”
He shook his head as an answer as she threw needle onto his bed and then
unleashed the gun from the guard’s holster, stuffing it into the back of her
pant linings. A knock on the door suddenly made Eren remember the other guard
on the other side of the door. He looked wide eyes at Petra but saw her go to
the door and open it fully. Recognizing one of the guards that she used to
visit him, he started toward the door as he handed a bag over to her.
“The money is already transferred and I have someone ready to contact you about
everything we’ve discussed,” she explained to the guard.
When he finally got to the door, the man eyed him and then Petra before letting
out a sign. “He better be worth it,” he replied to her.
Before he could ask what was happening, the guard walked down the hallway and
disappeared behind a corner. She turned to him then, already digging through
the black bag and pulled out a plastic card, and put the bag into his hands.
“Change,” she ordered. “Hurry.”
He didn’t get that much chance to examine the contents before being hustled
into his room. He changed into the blue scrubs that was inside along with a
black long sleeve, meant to most likely hide his scars. When he stepped out of
the room, Petra was nervously checking her watch and gave him a final look
before looking pleased with herself.
“Follow me and keep close, no one should stop us and everyone’s shifts are
changing so we should have enough time to get out before anyone notices,” she
said as she grabbed his hand and lead him down the hall. “Hopefully it’s smooth
sailing from here.”
 
Eren never imagined that the place that he’s been housed in was so massive.
They’ve twisted and turned down many hallways and staircases, and the white
that swallows his room also runs throughout the whole building. There weren’t
any windows in the hallways, which he found himself slightly disappointed in,
but at the same time, he would have wanted to stare at what he’s been missing
out on for years and probably be scolded by Petra. He can enjoy everything he’s
missed when he was safely out.
He had no idea how she was finding her way around since everything looked the
same. The hallways lead to more hallways that looked exactly the same as the
ones they just got out of and the only indication that it was a different
hallway was the signs posted on each end.
“How the hell do you know where you’re going?” he suddenly asked.
“Where did you pick up on that language?” she fired back.
It felt like they were walking forever and it was definitely the farthest he’s
ever walked that wasn’t in a circle around his room. He was grateful that Petra
mostly commanded him to do some exercise to get him ready.
They hadn’t run into many people, but the ones that they have, they couldn’t
have cared less that Eren and Petra were there. They completely ignored them,
heads stuck in their vanilla folders or phones, something that Petra just
recently showed to Eren. He, at first, reached for Petra’s shirt, holding it
between his fingers. He would have tried to grab her hand but thought that the
movement would have been too large and draw attention to them.
“I’ve been here long enough to know a basic route but I had to study the map
for multiple ones,” she went on. “Levi always taught me to prepare for the
worst and-”
“Petra!” a pleasant voice appeared behind them.
They both turned around to see a woman in blue scrubs smiling at Petra, making
Petra curse under her breath. Confusion soon etched her cream face as she took
Eren in with keen eyes.
“What are you doing here?” she questioned, studying him with her pale, blue
eyes. “I thought you were off already.”
Petra gave her one of her warm smiles and tried to bring the woman’s attention
onto her by stepping around him and moving closer to her. “I was planning to
but then Chairman Fritz wanted to speak to me,” she explained smoothly. “You
know, regarding my suspension.”
He didn’t understand how she could easily make up these lies on the fly, making
them sound believable too. The woman nodded her head, making the bun of her
dark chocolate hair move with the movement, but she brought her attention back
to Eren. He tried to stay calm as her eyes flickered over him.
“You look familiar,” she suddenly stated.
Before he could say anything, most likely ruining everything Petra had been
working for, she interrupted him. “Oh him? He’s new and asked me to help him
find the breakroom.”
“But isn’t the breakroom-”
“He wanted the one that’s near the south lab,” she lied. “Apparently when they
first showed him around, they put his things in there but can’t remember where
it is.”
He nodded once she looked at him for confirmation. He didn’t trust his voice
not to crack under pressure or for him to lose his nerve halfway through a lie.
The woman continued to study him until Petra once again pulled her attention
away from him.
“Well I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch,” she called out before signally Eren to
follow her down the hallway they were previously traveling down.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the woman’s eyes grow, finally putting the
pieces together of Eren’s identity, and suddenly sprinting down the hallway
that she came from.
“She knows,” he cautioned Petra.
“We need to hurry,” she replied as she grabbed his hand and pulled him down the
hallway at a quickened pace.
As they walked faster down the hallways, taking sharper turns around the
hallway, moments passed before the lights went out. His grip tightened in
Petra’s hand before the hall was bathed in red lights and a low siren erupted
through the building.
“Fuck!” she cursed loudly as she sprinted to the end of the hall and looking
around the corner before pulling him along.
Lab coats and the nurses covered in blue scrubs seemed to come out of the
walls, suddenly they were everywhere. Everyone running in different directions
and scrambling to wherever their destination was. No one paid any mind to Petra
or him as they started to run down the halls, and soon they came to a hallway
that lead to a set of double doors. However, there was a large group of lab
coats standing outside of it, and there was no way to push through without them
having a good look at Eren.
Petra then reached out to pull the guard’s gun from the lining of her pants and
raised it to the ceiling. She stepped into the hallway and signaled him to stay
put while she cleared her voice.
“Move!” she commanded before firing into the ceiling.
Eren had to cover his ears over the explosion coming out of the small device
but it did its job. The lab coats came flying down the hallway, having to pass
Petra and him to escape but they cleared out. She grabbed his hand again and
moved down the hallway to reach the doors, swiping the card that the guard gave
her before he left.
“Eren we can’t slow down now, they know the general area of where we are now so
we need to move,” she reported to him as they waited for the light to turn
green, telling them that they can pass.
It felt like it took forever before the light flashed and Petra slammed open
the door, grabbing onto Eren once again. They ran down the hallway with her now
fully displaying the gun, and he wanted to argue that it’d be better if it was
put away so they weren’t suspicious. However, at least fifteen lab coats had
seen her face when she fired it and that woman had seen them together. He
realized that now Petra was preparing for the worst...and he should too.
The siren was still going and it was the only thing that muffled their pounding
footsteps against the white tile, though he was starting to feel a headache
forming from the constant noise. They turned the corner of two more hallways
before Petra slammed into a meat wall. Eren looked in horror as the bald-headed
man that had once been his guard stood in front of them. The man instantly
recognized who he was and took in the situation before he could draw a shaky
breath. He grabbed the gun out of Petra’s hand and within the same moment, it
was sliding down the hallway. His hand grabbed past Petra and gripped onto his
shirt, and then threw him down the hallway. Eren landed on his side, hard, and
let out a pained whine before looking back to find that the man had Petra
pressed against the wall with his hand surrounding her throat.
“I knew you were trouble the moment you showed up,” the man hissed as he seemed
to add more pressure to her throat.
Petra started clawing at the man’s hands and he could only look in horror as
she gasped for air. “Acting like an innocent airhead, you had everyone fooled
but me, princess.”
Eren frantically started to look around to find anything to help. The gun. He
began looking for the only piece of color that would contract from the white
and found the gun a couple of feet behind him. Scrambling across the floor, he
grabbed for the black object and found the gun heavy in his hands. Standing up
on his trembling legs, he took a couple of steps toward Petra and the guard
before raising the gun toward the bald man.
“Hey!” he proclaimed.
Somehow he didn’t let his voice display how frightened he was and it came out a
short, loud command. The guard’s head spun toward him, still keeping his hand
around Petra’s throat. Her eyes followed him and she seemed to be pleading with
him not to do anything too extreme. The man suddenly let out a deep laugh at
Eren, he was taking in his shaking arms as he tried to keep the gun steady,
keeping it pointed at the man that was suffocating her.
“You think that you can handle that, freak?” the man laughed. “I don’t believe
that you have the guts to pull the trigger. Now, wait your turn until I’m done
with this bitch over here.”
A feeling of determination washed over his body as the man returned to adding
more pressure to Petra’s small throat and she let out a painful gasp, still
trying to get some air into her lungs. He focused all of his energy into his
hands, making them stop trembling and aiming for the guard’s shoulder, away
from her in case it passed through.
When he felt the vibrations pulse through his hands, it shocked him enough that
he dropped the smoking gun. The noise was too loud for his ears but he resisted
the urge to cover them as he saw the man’s black shirt growing wet where his
bullet landed. The hand that encased Petra was gone, it now was cradling the
man’s shoulder as he let out a string of curses and turned a heated glare in
Eren’s direction. He could see that Petra was now sitting against the wall,
gasping for the air that she had been deprived from and having both of her
hands on her throat, feeling it. Before he could ask if she was okay, the man
blocked his view, grabbed a chunk of his hair and threw him onto the ground. He
tried not to let out the painful yelp that made its way out of his mouth but
the man sat on top of him before he could struggle against the weight. Using
his hands to try and push the man off, he just simple grouped his hands
together and pressed it against his chest, still having a painful pull on his
hair.
“I should have killed you that day,” he confessed. “But I can make up for that
mistake tonight. Can always say that you were too aggressive, needed to put you
down because there was no way to control you...Chairman Fritz would
understand.”
The grip on his hair disappeared but then the hand moved to his throat and he
immediately couldn’t breath. He started to struggle more against the man,
wishing that his strength would kick in so he could get this heavyweight off of
him. His throat began to throb and burn, even if his mouth was open trying to
summon the air into his lungs and tears started to leak out from his eyes.
“Too bad, if you weren’t so fucking disgusting, you would have been a good
fuck. Just imagining being buried in-”
“Hey, Fucker!” Petra interrupted.
Both of them looked over to see Petra standing with the gun pointed at the
man’s head, then she pulled the trigger. Before he could see the gruesome scene
that would unfold in front of him, he turned his head and closed his eyes. He
felt a warm wet liquid splatter some of his face, making bile rise up in his
sore throat, and then heard the guard’s body fall to the side of him.
Thankfully it wasn’t the side that he was facing and once he felt the dead
weight off of him, he scrambled to get off the floor and Petra grabbed his arm
to help him.
“Are you okay?” she asked, concern written all over her face.
All he could do was nod and try not to look at the body lying at their feet, he
knew if he looked then he would throw up the little food that Petra gave him
and make his throat feel worse than it already was. She looked all over him
before grabbing for his hand once again and pulled him down the hallway that
the man came from. His legs didn’t want to move, only to tremor beneath him and
threatening to give out but he repeated to himself that he could freak out when
they’re out. He can sob and scream at what they’ve done when Petra says that
they’re safe.
He could still the man’s blood dripping down his face but he didn’t make a move
to wipe it on his sleeve. He wouldn’t be able to handle see it at the moment.
When they got near the end of the hallway, Eren suddenly picked up the sound of
multiple footsteps behind him.
“Someone’s behind us,” he warned Petra.
They both looked behind them in time to see two guards rounding the corner,
taking in the man’s body and the pair of them fleeing before pulling out their
guns and aiming them toward Eren and Petra.
“Go!” she ordered, sprinting down the rest of the hallway and almost rounding
the corner before they started shooting.
A grunt of pain escaped her lips before she fully made it around the corner and
before he could try and see where she was stuck, a pain that made itself known
bloomed on his right side. He knew he was shot, but fought through the growing
pain until he made it around the corner. Petra had her back to the wall and
taking shots when she could and with every shot the number of firearms going
off decreased. He couldn’t focus on how many shots were being fired as he
leaned against the wall next to Petra and looked down on himself. The color red
was spreading against the blue of his clothing and bile once again built up in
his throat. He started getting lightheaded and the numbness spread through his
body until all he could feel was the pain radiating through his side. He felt
himself sliding down the wall and grabbing his side as blood began to seep
through his fingers.
“Petra,” he gasped.
A few more shots were fired before he felt hands on his shoulders. “Oh my god,
Eren.”
Looking up, he saw that her face was worried but it was becoming out of focus,
making him curse quietly to himself. Panic was seeping from his pores as he
understood just how bad everything had gone. How much of the plan had gone out
the window at this point, and him being shot was icing on the cake. He could
see Petra quickly looking around, searching, and once she found what she was
looking for, started to grab his arms, pulling him up.
“You have to help me, Eren,” she stated as he was mostly deadweight in her
arms.
He found his footing, not before letting out a pained groan as he stretched his
side standing up. She wrapped his arm behind her neck and led them to a white
door that was labeled maintenance. Swiping the card that she tucked into her
pocket, the door flashed green and she forced their way into the small room.
The room was dark besides a faint light that came in through a window in the
back of the room. A window. If he wasn’t in pain and trying not to pass out
from it, he would probably be pressing his face against the glass to see
outside. Petra placed him against the door once it was closed, reached up
toward the knob and messed it for a second before putting her full attention on
the growing pain in his side. He felt like he couldn’t breathe enough air into
his lungs and before he knew it, they were coming out in short pants.
“Eren, breath, I need you to breath for me, sweetie,” Petra repeated to him
over and over again until he managed to get it under some control.
She peeled up the clothes to look at the wound, making another whine escape but
tried to hold everything else in when she shushed him quietly. He could begin
to hear footsteps outside the door, the other guards still searching for them,
and he held his breath every time they got too close to the door.
“It’s mostly stopped bleeding but you’ve lost a lot of blood,” she told him.
“Thank god for your healing abilities or else we would be completely screwed.”
He looked more closely at her face and found blood dripping down her cheek. He
reached a hand out and touched his fingertips onto the deep scratch on her
cheekbone. She let out a small hiss and swatted his hand away. “It’s fine Eren,
I’m more worried about you.”
She smiled slightly at him, probably to try and calm him down further, and he
couldn’t help but give a smile back before a painful groan replaced it.
“I’ll get it treated once we’re out, I didn’t see an exit wound so most likely
the bullet is still inside,” she explained.
He nodded as she grabbed onto his arms, pulling him up once again. “What are we
going to do?” he found himself asking her.
She had to have a plan, she herself said that she had a hundred backups in case
anything happened, but he didn’t think that him getting wounded and trapped
inside a closet was in one of them. Petra left him to lean against the door as
she made her way toward the window, looked out of it before nodding to herself.
“Thankfully we’re on the first floor,” she muttered to herself.
“What’s the plan?” Eren questioned.
“We’re going to climb out the window, run across the clearing, and then climb
over a fence,” she told him as she started to open the window.
He couldn’t believe that it was so simple. “And then we’re free?”
“Once we climb the fence, we need to run some more, but yes, we’ll be done.”
The hope that flickered to life inside made the pain still flaring up in his
side die down to just a throbbing. It still announced it’s presence if he took
his mind off of it for too long but he needed to focus on getting out. It had
to be his main focus and his injuries he can worry about later. She climbed
through the small opening first and then grabbed his arm to help him over the
window sill. Once they were both outside, Eren tried to block out everything
his senses were taking in but it was starting to get overwhelming.
Breathing in this fresh air for the first time made him want to sob, he
couldn’t pick apart the many new scents that flooded his nose and he just
wanted to enjoy the night air. He did allow himself to only look up into the
sky for a couple of moments, seeing the large moon and the stars surrounding
the night sky made him want to stop and stare. However, Petra’s pull of his arm
made him remind himself that he can enjoy being outside when they weren’t so
close to danger still.
There were spotlights circling from where they were tucked between two walls
and the chained fence a hundred feet away from them. The black fence was at
least twice his size and wondered how he would be able to make it over it
before his limbs decided to fail him.
“I need you to stay on my heels and when I say that you climb, you need to
climb,” she ordered as she looked up at the moon, it was barely there but gave
just enough light to barely see Petra. “Thankfully there isn’t that much light
from the moon or else this would never be happening now.”
He stared straight ahead at the fence, the only obstacle really left for him to
conquer before finally leaving this place behind. He could hear her heart
pounding inside of her chest and he was the same way, they were so close and
couldn’t fail now. She was mumbling numbers to herself, probably counting how
many seconds they had to get across before the light came back and would find
them.
“Ready?” she asked, gripping his hand.
He only responded by tightening his grip but she nodded in understanding. The
light swept by them and immediately after, Petra tugged his arm and they were
off.
The run to the fence felt like the longest and shortest run he’s ever
experienced in his life, and it didn’t help that Petra let go of his hand when
they got close enough to see the holes in the chains of the fence. “Climb,” she
commanded.
She jumped onto the fence, giving her a foot of a head start, and knowing
himself he didn’t follow suit but rather tucked his bare feet into the holes.
She was clearly making a lead and was already at the top of the fence when he
was only halfway there. He knew he was being slow and willed his body to hurry
up but his side throbbed painfully.
Petra reached a hand down to him while she sat on top of the black fence and he
happily reached for it when he got close enough. However, he regretted the
action when it pulled too much of his side and he let out a muffled scream as
he was pulled up. His teeth bit into his lower lip, trying to keep his scream
as quiet as can be but it wasn’t quite enough. He then heard the sounds of
guards yelling at they know where they were and told her once he managed to sit
on the fence with her.
Eren was already trying to bring his other leg over the side so he could begin
the painful trip down but Petra stopped him, grabbing his arm. She looked at
him with so much conflict crossing her face that he knew what the words were
going to be before she opened her mouth.
“Keep going,” she uttered to him. “I’m going to be a distraction so you can go
first, I’ll be right behind you.”
“No!” he proclaimed.
He knew that she was lying, that she wasn’t going to be behind him. Tears began
to cascade down his face, shaking his head.
“I have to distract them or else we’re not going to get away,” she repeated.
“Eren, I will find you, I promise.”
“You won’t-”
His tears wouldn’t stop and Petra shook his arm to get his attention. “I need
you to listen to me...You see where all those lights are coming from?” she
pointed out. He followed her finger to see some a large source of light raiding
off of buildings and nodded. “Run there. Run into the city and find a large
building called the Wings of Freedom, you can’t miss it, Eren. Demand to see
Erwin Smith or Levi Ackerman, just make sure to remember those name, and say
that I sent you there. I’ll meet you there.”
“I can’t go without out you.”
“You have to.”
She suddenly pushed him off of the fence, he expected to land on his face but
his body manipulated itself so that he landed on his feet. Still, his side made
him bend over in pain but he managed to look up to find Petra still on top of
the fence, taking the gun from out of her pocket and reloading it with more
ammunition. Before she jumped back onto the ground, she looked over at him and
smiled.
“Petra!” he screamed, running to the fence but she held her hand out.
“Go, I won’t repeat myself again!” she ordered him.
He knew he needed to run, the guard’s footsteps were getting louder and doors
that lead outside were opening. Reluctantly he turned around and started
sprinting toward the source of all the lights on the horizon. He didn’t get
very far before he could hear Petra’s voice one last time.
“Be safe, Eren. I will always love you,” her voice whispered to him.
The sounds of multiple firearms replaced everything. Louder than his breathing
and heart. Eren allowed himself to look back once, to stop and stare at Petra’s
escape, to convince himself that this wasn’t the last time he would see her.
Instead, once the last shot went off, the ringing continued in his ears as he
witnessed Petra’s body falling to the Earth.
 
He’d never run this hard in his life. His muscles argued and screamed with
every movement but continued to push himself. Eren couldn’t let himself think
of what he just witnessed, he couldn’t. If he did then he wouldn’t get away. He
would curl into himself and never move, not until they found him and forced him
back. They would find him if he didn’t keep moving. Everything that she would
work for would be wasted. Everyone that they killed would have died for
nothing.
About a couple of hundred feet, before he could see the concrete of the
buildings, he decided that running in his other form would be faster. His body
wasn’t going to last long and he still had no idea where he was going once he
got into the city. Abandoning his clothes and seeing that the wound on his side
was still bleeding, he forced himself to shift. He screamed from the pain of
the shift but also from it feeling like his side was splitting in half. Knowing
that shifting would make a temporary fix for the wound, forcing his body to
heal it even with the bullet still inside of him. He still needed to get the
bullet out or the wound would never fully heal, his body still knowing that
there was a foreign object inside of him and kept the wound fresh so he could
retrieve it easier later.
He ran until the grass turned into concrete and his senses becoming overwhelmed
once again with the noises seeming to come out of nowhere and everywhere. Very
quickly, he ran into people that walked the streets. The first one he
encountered, paled, turned around, and ran down the street. The other people
reacted to him the same way. After the fifth person turning tail, he decided to
turn into the closest side street and sat down to catch his breath. Eren soon
found out that deciding to rest his throbbing limbs for a second turned out for
the worst because he began to feel light-headed immediately. He found himself
trying not to hurl onto the pavement below him, his limbs shaking as adrenaline
was leaking out of his body. He knew he needed to keep going, Petra would have
wanted him to keep going. If he didn’t keep moving now then he wouldn’t be able
to move soon.  Fighting to keep everything inside of his stomach, Eren started
to pull himself up from his sitting position but collapsed on his front paws.
He suddenly found himself lying on the concrete, willing his limbs to move but
they refused to obey him. The swirling in his vision that quickly overtook with
nausea as it’s right hand and he could feel himself slipping.
I have to find them! I have to find them!
He could do nothing before the darkness crept over his eyes until he succumbed
to it.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     Mr. Grumpy is finally here! I decided to upload early mostly because
     I've written a lot and wanted to put it out way ahead of schedule.
     Hope you enjoy!
The small room that they used for interrogating hid beneath one of the many
clubs that the Recon managed in the lower districts of Maria.  The scent of
sweaty bodies and vomit still managed to drift down the staircase and into the
sealed room, making his nose twitch in disgust. Levi always hated coming to any
of the interrogating rooms they constructed, the chance of running into someone
covered in their own vomit was too high. Of course, having the loud, pounding
music to drown out the screams of whoever their interrogating was always a
plus. He didn’t have to hold back like he usually would if they were out in the
open.
Levi had managed to point out two very high individuals their bouncers needed
to keep an eye on while he walked across the floor to get to the staircase, to
follow protocol if they continued to shoot up. Get them out and next door to
the cheap motel, and make sure they didn’t die by the time they arrived there.
They couldn’t stop the drug problem that heavily destroyed the civilians that
lived in most of Maria, but the Recon could provide clean needles and help for
those wanting it.
Of course, that was more Erwin’s forte. The large man standing next to him was
more suited for the public appearance, he could gain anyone’s trust and support
through one conversation, having the person mostly dedicating their life to his
causes. His icy blues could analyze a situation and within moments would have
five solutions, most of them not involving Levi to use the violence he was
known for. Levi noted before entering the room concrete room that Erwin had
come from a meeting, the only time that he wore his stupidly-proud emerald bolo
tie. His startling blonde hair was gelled back, hair parted slightly to his
left, and he was generally surprised to find that Erwin had cleaned up his
enormous, bushy eyebrows. The same ones that made his recruits and underlings
dub him Eyebrows, something that Levi himself likes to call him to his face,
the only one that has the balls to anyways. The fresh pressed white button-up
with his navy slacks didn’t fit with the situation that was unfolding in front
of them but Levi held his tongue, wanting to make fun of his commander.
The man that was, unfortunately, going to be at the mercy of him knew he was in
deep shit once he had walked through the door, Erwin following close behind
him. Levi was mostly never called for interrogation, not unless someone was
being difficult and refusing to say anything, or it was a special case. He
wasn’t sure for which one of these cases he was here for still but leaning
toward the first scenario when he saw the man’s face.
The man was handcuffed to the silver table that was bolted to the ground, his
wrists red from pulling at the restraints, and his face had clearly seen better
days. Erwin briefed him before they entered that he had infiltrated their ranks
with the help of two gullible new recruits and tried to steal money from their
main safe in headquarters. An idiotic move on his part and for whoever sent him
with the order. The bruises that blacken his already paling face made him
almost unrecognizable and reminded Levi to give some sort of praise to his men
that caught him. Erwin would surely remind him later too. The man’s chin
length, brown hair was splattered with blood, whether it was his blood or
Levi’s men, he couldn’t care at the moment. There wasn’t another chair except
for the one that the man sitting on so Erwin sat on the edge of the table,
using his large body to intimidating the man below him.
“I’m going to ask you a series of questions and if you manage to answer them
correctly, you'll be let out on your merry way," Erwin explained to him,
crossing his knees over each other and placing his laced hands on top of them.
"Of course, if you can't manage even that, then I'm going to have to ask Levi
to take over for me and he's not...as civilized as I would be in these
situations."
Levi wanted to roll his eyes at Erwin's lie as the man's complexion continued
to pale, his eyes flickering toward him and the knife he always had at his
side. Erwin had built a reputation as the one to never get his hands dirty but
they were just as blood-soaked as Levi's, if not more. He sentenced many men
and women to die in the senseless war with the other Corps that fought for
control of Paradi. It's just more people had seen Levi kill people without a
flicker of emotion and slaughter hundreds without blinking. It wasn't that he
enjoyed the moment of the kill, ending the life of another, but it was about
survival. To find victory out of a battle of life or death, though Levi
outmatched everyone that he's crossed, and hadn't found a challenging opponent
in a very long time. He was bored to put it simply. He knew what it took to
break a man and have him confessing when the first time they shit their pants
in grade school.
"Who sent you?" he asked the man.
He averted his eyes from Erwin's piercing gaze and kept his mouth shut,
something Levi knew he was going to regret when Erwin was going to pass this
onto him. He wasn't asked to be here to just watch, never once had he ever just
witness a interrogation and didn't participate, especially if Erwin asked him.
“I’m going to repeat myself one more time,” he warned. “Who sent you?”
Giving Erwin some credit, he waited patiently for the man to speak up before
letting out a sigh and sliding off the table. Looking at him, he flicked his
head slightly toward the man and took Levi’s spot on the wall. Standing next to
the man always made Levi feel small, even if he was slightly taller than the
other male recruits, but anyone standing next to Erwin felt like a dwarf.
Levi started to stalk the man restrained to the table, staring him down as he
rounded behind the chair. He let the man’s breathing briefly elevate, his hands
barely trembling before grabbing the man’s bloodied hair and shoving his face
into the metal table. He yelped in surprise and then in pain before letting out
a long string of curses, however, he didn’t say anything else.
“So you can speak,” Levi announced. “I was afraid that we caught a mute, but
that’s not the case.”
When Levi rounded him, he pulled himself onto the table, the opposite side of
where Erwin sat and looked at the man he just threw his face into the table.
His nose was heavily bleeding, and from the crooked feature, it was definitely
broken. Blood dripped onto his already stained shirt and he glared at his tied
hands, not daring to put the glare on him. If the man showed any challenge
toward him, he would have done worse than break his nose, and he definitely
wouldn’t be leaving this room alive. He had a reputation to hold, Paradi’s
Strongest, and he could never back down from a challenge.
Levi gained another grip on the man’s hair, turning his head and brought his
full attention to him. “I’m not going to ask because you already know what we
want to know. Now, you tell me right now or you’re not going to have a fucking
great time,” Levi asserted before letting go of the greased, tuft of hair,
making the man bow his head.
He finally got a reaction out of him, just not the one that he wanted. The man
spat on the table, blood mixed in with his fucking saliva, and it landed inches
from his hand that rested on the table. He resisted the urge to yank his hand
away from the small puddle and didn’t want to give the fucker the satisfaction
that it was getting to him. “You’re just his bitch, aren’t you? Following his
orders like a dog. You think that you’re his equal but you’re nothing more than
the dirt underneath his feet,” the man spouted, trying to put enough confidence
in his words to make them sound believable.
Levi had honestly heard the same speech from so many other mouths that he just
tuned out from boredom. He never believed that he was Erwin’s equal, he may
have some sway with decisions and be there for mostly every meeting, but he
never got the final say. That was for Erwin, and him alone. He followed every
order that he was given but still questioned him every step of the way if he
disagreed with it. If he ever felt used by him, he would let him know, usually
by bargaining into his office and start screaming at Erwin until he was calm
again. Before it would conclude with a good fuck from both of them afterward,
but those days were finished. If following orders and being mostly the only man
Erwin trusted made him his bitch, then so be it. Make their enemies think that
he was unstable or kept on a tight leash. Let them think he was uncontrollable
to send more fear into their hearts when he walked onto the field.
He looked at Erwin from the corner of his eye, waiting for a signal to keep
going. If they wanted anything from the pathetic excuse of an agent, then they
needed to push him more.
“You’re not going to deny it, motherfucker!?” the man yelled, finding his
confidence from Levi’s silence.
Once Levi saw the slight nod from him, he reached for the restrained hands,
grabbing one of his fingers and snapping it back. The man howled in pain, all
of the confidence that he had was thrown out as tears began to stream down his
face.
“You’re barely worth my breath, and even though I think we should just put you
down, Erwin still just wants one little question answered,” Levi insisted,
still having a hold on the broken finger.
“Fuck you!” the man gasped.
His response drove Levi to grab the next two fingers and snap them back to.
Thankfully, the music from above was still pounding because the man had a set
of lungs. When all the man did was scream and cry, Levi added some pressure to
the fingers he was holding, waiting for the man to finally speak. He just
wanted to go home and drink his tea before going to bed.
“Pixis ordered it!” the man screamed.
The man’s confession actually made Levi laugh. It was such a lousy attempt to
shift their focus, to think that the Garrison, the Recon’s only ally, decided
to betray them.
“Pixis is too old to start a war between us,” Levi stated. “Nice try though.”
“All those skirmishes that you’ve been dealing with for the past couple of
weeks aren’t from the Military, they’re from us,” he confessed as Levi started
to go for another finger.
He turned to Erwin in surprise, though he didn’t allow it to show on his face.
They had kept under wraps about the guerrilla tactics that Military threw their
way, only the people involved and Erwin’s main circle knew about them. The
Military had done the same. No one knew about the skirmishes but they hadn’t
managed to capture someone during the fights, and no one on both sides has been
killed yet. Leaving them with no bodies to investigate to see if it has in fact
been the Military. They didn’t think that the Garrison was low enough to try
and go after them, even with the peace treaty between them.
After the king of Paradi decided to step down, he announced that one of the
leaders of the three branching governments would mostly take his place. Nile
Dok, the power-hungry bastard and leader of the Military, saw a money grab and
easy way to ascend to power, especially with his job description of being
‘Protector of the King.’ However, it wasn’t enough for the King, who wanted the
branches to dish it out and see who would win for his own amusement and let his
country mostly fall into ruin. It spurred Pixis and Erwin to sign a temporary
treaty, between their branches and focus on countering whatever the Military
threw at both of them. Pixis himself even said that he was too old for this
shit and would support Erwin if he wanted the crown for himself. Levi himself
has never heard of his desire to rule over Paradi, but with the amount of
‘secret’ meetings that he’s been having without him, Erwin must want something.
“Someone could have easily told you since you did infiltrate our ranks,” he
noted.
“I’m telling the truth!” the man shouted.
Starting to get annoyed with the actual little progress they were making, Levi
reached into the holster at his hip and pulled out the 9mm pistol that Erwin
gifted him when he received a pay raise. It was silver and reflected nicely in
the light as he pressed the barrel to the man’s temple. That’s when the
waterworks truly started, especially when he saw that his finger planted on the
trigger.
“Levi,” Erwin hissed his name.
He could tell that he was disapproving of his actions. “Everyone in this room
knows that he’s not leaving alive, and even if we did let him go, the people
who sent him would kill him for failing his assignment,” he stated coldly.
“Anyways, this will just speed things along.”
Levi could hear Erwin move from his position on the wall and move to stand
behind him. Getting close to his ear and whispered, "Control your trigger
finger."
Knowing the tongue lashing he was going to receive for not showing restraint,
Levi took his finger off the trigger but kept the gun planted against the man's
head. He wasn't going to show weakness to this man that already thought he was
Erwin's bitch, even if he was going to be dead within the hour.
"It doesn't matter, does it? I'm going to die either way," the man sobbed.
"Another victim of the hundreds that fell at your hand."
"Are you going to answer Erwin's question truthfully or not," he asked,
starting to get annoyed. "I would like to go home."
"It's Pixis!"
Rolling his eyes and feeling his little patience thinning by the second, he
moved the gun away from the man's temple and fired at the wall, inches from his
head. He went to cover his ears but they were still restrained to the table and
sobs continued to rock his body. Levi pressed the hot barrel against the man's
temple once again, earning a scream of pain from the man.
"Fucking get this over with," Levi growled at him.
"Furlan! It's was fucking Furlan!"
He couldn't help the surprise that overtook him, at hearing that name of
someone he used to care dearly for, someone he still did, even if he wouldn't
admit it even on his deathbed. Pushing down the anger that was quickly rising
to the surface, he pressed the barrel more into the man's skull.
"Stop fucking lying," he commanded, getting all of the emotion out of his
voice.
"No! I'm telling the truth! Pixis has done nothing but sit on his ass and
drink. He's making the Garrison into a joke by letting the Recon walk all over
us as you bastards gain favor for next of line. The King isn't going to chose
an old man that drinks constantly to be in charge! Furlan decided to take
charge-"
"Furlan is not the man that would senselessly kill others and steal for power."
He could feel himself losing control over his temper and fast, Erwin could see
the same because he tried to place a hand on Levi's arm but he jerked it out of
his grasp. "Levi," he warned.
"Furlan is not the man that you know anymore. You're the one that made him
change."
He finally snapped, letting go of the little control he had over himself as he
grabbed the man's hair once again and placed the barrel under his chin, his
finger dangerously close to the trigger. It was begging for him to hold down
the trigger and stop the bastard's loud mouth from spouting any more lies.
"Levi, that's enough," Erwin commanded, yanking his arm once again but this
time actually moving away from the man waiting for his life to end. "Wait
outside."
He grabbed Levi's gun before letting go of his arm, and he could feel his eyes
on him as he slammed the door behind, not being his heard Erwin thank the man
for his time. The sound of his gun going off filled the room and the hallway
outside where Levi now stood. It wasn’t until after the ringing ceased in his
ears that he realized that his breath was coming out in hard pants and his
hands slightly trembled. The anger that he tried to suppress throughout the
whole interrogation was finally be released.
How fucking dare he have the balls to lie to my face. To fucking get a rouse
out of me before he could be put down.
By the time Erwin walked out of the room, leaving the man’s body to simply hang
off of the table, Levi was pacing the hallway. Waiting for him to be released
so he could go home and forget about the whole ordeal. Erwin remanded silent as
he handed the gun back to Levi, to which he put it into its holster as he
continued to be eyed by Erwin.
“What?” Levi snapped at him.
“You were getting too emotional in there,” Erwin stated. “You always do when
Furlan, or even Isabel, are mentioned.”
He pulled his glare onto Erwin, hating to admit that he was right. Mentioning
either one of them, heaven forbid that someone wanted to be dead in a matter of
seconds if they mentioned both, always got a rise out of him. The thought of
his former friends always put him in a mood that he couldn’t get out unless he
worked out enough to where he almost passes out or Hanji pissed him off enough
to get his anger moved to something else.
He’s only let a handful of people into his life, to let himself care enough to
worry about their wellbeing when they were hurt, and they were once that. Not
until Furland and Isabel stabbed him in the back and disappeared from his life.
Just recently he’s heard rumors that they joined the Garrison but he couldn’t
bring himself to ask Pixis himself if it was true.
“Do you believe what he said?” Erwin questioned him.
Immediately, Levi wanted to say no, that he couldn’t imagine that Furlan had
changed that much since he’d seen him last. However, the man dead in the next
room was right, no matter how much he hated to admit it. It’s been years since
he’s seen or heard from both of them and he couldn’t possibly understand what
happened between then and now. He didn’t know what Furlan was capable of.
“It doesn’t matter what I think, you’re the brains of the operation,” he
answered. “I’m just the dog on a tight leash.”
He received a look from Erwin that mostly told him that he wasn’t believing
anything coming out of his mouth. They started walking toward the end of the
hallway, to the stairs that lead to the main floor of the club and hopefully
meant he could go home.
 “I honestly don’t know, but from the Furlan that  I  know...no, he wouldn’t be
doing this...not unless someone is forcing him,” he finally admitted.
If Furlan had changed for the worse, there was one thing that he knew that
wouldn’t change. He would move heaven and hell to protect Isabel. If someone
was threatening her life than he would do anything to keep her safe, even if it
was against everything he believed in.
“What will you do if it turns out to be him?” Erwin continued to question. “If
he turns out to behind the Garrison’s sudden attacks?”
“Haven’t you been meeting Pixis? What have you been discussing in those private
meetings?” he fired back.
“Answer my question, Levi.”
Feeling annoyed at Erwin’s demands, he thought about it for a second. His usual
response would have been to kill him, to set an example of what happens when
you try and mess with the Recon...but it was Furlan they were talking about. He
knew in his darkening heart that he wouldn’t be able to kill his longest friend
and he probably would aim his gun at whoever tried to.
“I’m going home,” he announced as they neared the staircase. “I’m also taking
the weekend off so if you want to ask more questions, save them until then.”
He could see Erwin disappear from his side, stopping in the middle of the
hallway before letting out a deep sigh and then heard him start to walk again.
 
Levi honestly didn’t remember climbing into his car, just that he had sped home
and if he was just an ordinary civilian then he would have been pulled over. He
lived in the upper end of the Shiganshina district, one of the four districts
that were in Maria, the nicest part of the city anyways. It was nothing
compared the Capital that was separated by two tolls away or even Rose, but he
was never known for wanting an expensive lifestyle.
Pulling into the underground parking that his building provided for attendings,
he parked into his normal spot before pulling out his card and approached the
elevator. Slipping the card into the slot, the screen next to the buttons
welcomed him and instructed him to press a floor. Once pressing his floor, he
waited until the elevator stopped moving and then proceeded to walk down his
hallway to get to his door. The one advantage to living on the top floor was
having it all to himself, even a floor below him was shared by two apartments
and he couldn’t stand the thought of having neighbors. He didn’t have to deal
with polite nods or the occasional question thrown his way when all he wanted
to do was take a proper shower and tell everyone else to fuck off.
Once he unlocked his door and stepped into his apartment, he leaned against his
closed door and let out a deep sigh that he’d been holding in since leaving the
club.
A shower and a nice cup of tea will help.
Pushing himself off the door, he navigated around his white couch and past his
kitchen to get to the master bedroom. Kicking off his shoes and placing them
neatly in his walk-in closet before heading off to the bathroom that’s
connected to his room. Everything was spotless, just the way he left it, with
both his jacuzzi bathtub and separate glass shower blindingly reflecting light
off its surface. After opening the glass door to turn the water to scalding, he
stripped the black button-up and black slacks off of his body and took in his
appearance in the wall-length mirror. He noted he needed to shave, a faint
black stubble began to peek out from his pale cheeks and chin. Running a hand
through his onyx hair, he felt that his needed to also shave his undercut, it
starting to get too long for his liking.
Might as well cut the front too.
When the front started getting too long, his friend, if he could even call
Hanji a friend, would put pink clips in his hair if he was caught asleep at
work. Of course, it would lead to an hour of him chasing her down and
threatening to end her if she ever did it again. He usually was on top of it so
he didn’t have to deal with Hanji’s hijinks but have been distracted by the
guerrilla attacks on the Recon, something that Erwin usually pawns off to him
as if he didn’t have enough paperwork to deal with.
Before he could tell himself that needed to work out again, that he could see
the muscles he worked hard to keep looked like they were disappearing, even
though to any else's eyes they looked the same way they were last week, he saw
steam coming up from the shower head. His silver eyes flickered to the most
recent scar that was introduced to his body that was caused by a knife being
plunged into his shoulder from behind the last time he was on patrol with a
recruit. He never commented on the scars that scattered his body, from the
knife and gunshot wounds that he's acquired over the ten plus years he's been
working under Erwin. They were apart of him and he couldn't do anything to
change it, though even if a chance was given to get rid of them, he wouldn't.
The scars were apart of his past and he couldn't let go of it.
He enjoyed the time he spent under the showerhead, even if it turned his pale
skin red from the scalding heat of the water. Spending most of the time with
his head directly under the water, he let his mind go blank and forget about
the day's events. Once his fingertips were wrinkled, he decided to turn off the
water and dry off. Wrapping his fluffy, black towel around his waist after
getting the majority of the water off of him and letting his hair air-dry. He
went to his black dresser and pulled out some gray sweatpants and a white
shirt. Taking in the room as he changed, he noticed that he needed to once
again dust his large TV mounted on the wall. He decided to do it tomorrow since
he demanded the time off to Erwin's face before leaving, he could do focus on
cleaning the apartment later.
His bare feet making almost no noise in the quiet apartment as he walked over
to his newest addition to his kitchen, a Keurig. Grabbing one of his few square
mugs and his favorite tea, Earl Grey, he placed the mug underneath the
dispenser and waited. Once he wrapped his lips around the cup and took his
first sip, his body immediately relaxed, and only became boneless when he sat
down on his couch. Reaching across his glass coffee table, he grabbed the
remote and turned on the TV. It was bigger than the one that he had in his room
and illuminated the dark room with the news. Ignoring the current tragedy that
was being repeated over and over again by different reporters, he decided that
he may need to redecorate soon.
His whole apartment was decorated in greyscale, everything different colors of
grey with the occasional white and black. It also felt too empty, with Levi
investing in furniture that was barely socially acceptable. The dining room and
kitchen next to his living room were conjoined with a double glass door that
leads to his patio, with the dining room having at least a table but no
centerpiece and only one chair. If he ever had guest, biggest hint at if, he
would take one of the high chairs from the island in the middle of the kitchen
or just have dinner there instead.  One side of his living room had a door to
the master bedroom and the other side had a hallway that split off between a
guest room, his home office, and second bathroom. It was a large apartment and
Hanji liked to frequently remind him when he allowed her over...or when she
pushed her way through the door and had the audacity to suggest him getting a
roommate. He kicked her out after that, not before asking her if she consumed
and injected five different types of drugs before coming over. He could barely
deal with the people he worked with, the thought of living with another human
being literally made him want to puke. Also with the fact that he would have to
teach them how to clean after themselves properly and thinking about that
effort alone made him exhausted.
As he sipped the last of his tea, his phone started to vibrate violently on the
side table next to the front door. Deciding if it was important enough, they
would leave a voicemail or call again. Once the vibrating stopped, a second
later it started again. Letting out a groan and putting his now empty mug on a
coaster, he got up and grabbed his phone off the table. Seeing that Hanji was
the one that called him, he rolled his eyes and immediately regretted the
action of answering the call.
"What do you want, Han-" Levi started.
"Levi! I need you to do something for me!" Hanji frantically said.
Suddenly hearing her panicked voice instead of her annoying chattering coming
through the phone stopped his normal 'fuck off' he would give her. "What's
wrong?"
"Just-...I'm sending you an address, bring blankets."
Before he could even ask her anything else, she hung up. He went to immediately
grab his keys, but then stopped, ran to his room to grab spare blankets.
 
Hanji had given him less information before, sometimes just an address with no
hint of anything else. Usually, it was nothing more than her being lost and she
was too lazy to walk back home, though he would forward the message to her
assistant, Moblit. She’s never called him in a panic and sounding out of breath
like she was running away from something. Hanji was trained to defend herself
but even with her being the most genius person he knows, she can be so fucking
clueless. All he could think about was the fact she may be lying on the
concrete of an alleyway, bleeding out and it stirred him to further break the
speed limit. What was worse was that she was in the worst part of Maria, the
slums where people would kill each other just for being looked at
indifferently. He knew how bad it could be, he lived most of his childhood
there and barely surviving with the help of Furlan and Isabel.
When he arrived at the address, he opened the glove department to find the gun
that he kept there and shoved it into his large pocket, he hadn’t managed to
change before leaving. Then he grabbed the blankets that he managed to get.
Suddenly he saw Hanji come out of an alleyway, blood covering her hands and
some of her cream long sleeves. He took in her dirt that littered her pants,
especially around her knees before getting out of the car. She ran over to him,
about to grab his arm with her blood-soaked hands but seemed to remember who
exactly he is. Before she even opened her mouth, he already assessed that she
wasn’t the one that was injured. Her bright, brown eyes were full of excitement
and her unkempt brunette was in her signature messy ponytail, rushed as always.
 
“You’re never going to believe what I found, quick!” she insisted as she
started running back into the alley.
Dumbstruck and soon he found flaws when he thought that she would be dead in
the street. She would have called Moblit, he had the necessary tools always on
hand in case of an emergency while Levi didn’t have anything, not even a
fucking band-aid for a paper cut. He would have dropped the blankets in the
street and then drive off leaving her behind but knew that he would be worried
if he just left.
Fucking Hanji for making me give two shits about her.
He muttered to himself and cursing repeatedly under his breath, he followed
where she disappeared into the alley and witnessed what she was kneeling in
front of. Before he could fully react, he dropped the blankets and lunged
toward Hanji, pushing her away from the large animal she was in front of.
“Are you fucking idiot?” he shouted at her.
He didn’t know what the animal was, just that its paws were massive and the
teeth were too sharp for his liking. It looked like it was passed out but who
knew when it would wake up and tear them both apart.
“We’re getting the fuck out of here,” he announced as he started dragging her
out of the alleyway but she let herself become deadweight, almost making him
drop her on her ass.
“Leevvii,” she whined.
“Don’t you fucking Levi me.”
With her lean body, she managed to slip out from his grasp, even if he tried to
grab for her again. She managed to pick up one of the blankets he dropped and
returned back to the animal’s side.
“Hanji, what are you fucking doing? It could wake up and tear you apart,” Levi
snapped at her.
He stared at her from the end of the alleyway, ready to leave her ass once
again but then she started laying the blanket on top of the animal and caressed
its head.
“I saw it running down the street, could see it was bleeding and afraid.
Everyone else ran away and it seemed to know why, so it went into the alleyway
and didn’t come back out,” she explained. “I was being careful Levi, I’m not
that idiotic to run after a wounded animal. It didn’t look like it was going to
last long and I couldn’t stop my feet from running after it.”
He’d seen Hanji through many things. He’s seen her with excitement rippling
through her body that it almost couldn’t take it and so many more emotions that
he himself couldn’t go through. However, the seriousness that washed over her
only appeared when she performed surgery for their men. When she knew that
death was ready to grab their hand and she would do everything in her power to
kept death away. He knew somewhere deep down that if he managed to grab her and
run, she would never forgive him.
“What do you want me to do?” he found himself asking her.
She looked at him with wide eyes and suddenly jumped up, going to hug him but
he held out his arm to stop her assault. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
Hanji went back to the animal and started shifting it around, trying to get the
blanket underneath it. After staring at her sorry excuse of making progress,
Levi sighed and walked to stand on the other side of the animal. Now actually
looking at it, it looked more like a tabby cat, though with spots instead of
the stripes, but the size of a large bobcat. He could tell that it was having
difficulty breathing and it’s possibly white belly was soaked in blood.
Internally cringing at the amount of blood and dirt that was going to touching
his hand, he helped Hanji maneuver the large cat so it laid underneath the
blanket.
“What now?” he asked.
“Well obviously we’re taking your car,” she stated like it was an everyday
occurrence.
“If you think for one second-”
“Why do you think I told you to bring blankets?”
He looked completely dumbfounded at her as she moved to a squatting position
and waited for him to do the same. Rolling his eyes and almost done with the
bullshit that she kept throwing his way, he did the same.
“On three...one...two...three,” Hanji counted.
They both pulled the edges of the blanket at the same time, both surprised that
the cat was lighter than they thought, and started shuffling out of the
alleyway and to his car.
“Put it in the trunk?” Levi offered.
The look that she gave him almost made him laugh, the disbelief that consumed
her face. “No! We’re not putting it in the trunk!”
She quickly decided to grab the other blankets laying the alleyway still,
putting her side of the blanket down before Levi was able to let the blanket
down slightly so the animal didn’t accidentally slide off it. When she came
back with the bundle, Levi unlocked the car and she put down the passenger
seat, covering the backseat in blankets. Together they somehow placed the
animal in his backseat and if there was enough room, Hanji would have most
likely jumped into the back to keep a closer eye on it.
“Where to now?” Levi asked once they were both inside the car.
“Go to our emergency center, the one that’s near the warehouses,” she
instructed.
 
It didn’t take too long for them to reach one of the many trauma centers hidden
in Maria. They were built years ago, before three commanders ago in case any of
their members were too far away from their main base with Hanji and Moblit. It
required all members to be trained with some basic knowledge of medicine and
when they went up in rank, required more time with Hanji. The building housing
their center was disguised as an old, abandoned deli with graffiti littering
every inch of the brick structure.  
Levi got out first, approaching the door and moving the plaque of the
building’s address to reveal a small keypad. Entering the ten digit code, he
waited for the light to turn green and immediately opened the door. The room
was dark before the sensors picked up the movement of the ajared door, and then
it was bathed in a harsh artificial light. Grabbing a nearby metal stool, he
propped it in front of the door to keep it from closing behind him and having
to redo the code when they both have their hands full. Hanji already was
positioned with her seat down, and ready for him to help carry it out of the
car and into the building.
Once they brought the cat inside and placed it on the large metal table in the
middle of the room, Hanji immediately started going to work. He offered to
help, though he didn’t want his hands to get any dirtier with blood and grime
for the day after he closed the door and made sure that it was locked.
“You’ll just get in the way,” she explained, waving him off.
He pulled up a chair and watched as she pulled out an electric hair clipper and
started shaving its belly, around the area of where it was still slightly
bleeding.
“How long has it been bleeding?” Levi asked.
“For too long,” she answered. “Poor kitty.”
He made a face at her comment mostly since the animal was nowhere near the size
of a kitten, or even a house cat. As she continued to shave the area, Levi
looked at the large cat more closely and noted how skinny it was, mostly just
bones and skin. When she finished cutting the hair, she gasped at what she
found. He got up from his seat and stood beside her to see the lines of scars
covering its skin. There was so many that there was barely enough room to see
the tan skin underneath, and he could understand that they weren’t inflected by
another animal but rather a knife or other instrument. He’d seen enough of
those wounds and scars to know it when he sees them.
“Who would do this?” Hanji muttered to herself.
Levi didn’t have the words to answer so he continued to study the animal,
discovering that the wound that was bleeding was from a gunshot. “It was shot,”
Levi reported to her.
She then equipped some blue gloves and started to feel around the animal’s
stomach, searching for the possible bullet still inside of it. When she seemed
to have found it, the cat let out a low whine, it obviously still in pain.
“Thought that it was going to be maybe a cut from escaping from wherever it
came from,” she whispered. “Maybe that it was someone’s pet or it came from a
zoo-”
“The closest zoo is in Rose and they have more farm animals than exotic ones
like this one. Also, no one is wealthy enough to own something like this here,
along with the thought of feeding it,” Levi mentioned.
Abandoning the cat, Hanji moved to where they kept all of their drugs and
equipment in filing cabinets. Grabbing everything she needed, she turned on the
spotlight above the table and focused it on the animal’s stomach. “So I may
need you after all. Just hand me the instruments when I tell you to.”
He nodded in response and thought that Erwin would have been having a field
day. If anyone knew that Paradi’s Strongest, the man that can kill without a
hint of emotion, was assisting in a surgery to save the life of an animal, he’d
probably lose all his credibility.
“In the meantime, just try and comfort it. It’s going to be in some pain and
there isn’t enough time to administer pain medicine,” she explained as she tied
a surgical mask onto herself.
He went back to his seat on the opposite side of the table and stared at the
animal as Hanji prepared herself for extracting the bullet.  The only place in
the cat's fur wasn't matted or covered in drying blood was its head and neck.
Levi hesitantly reached a hand toward the brown fur was immensely surprised to
find it soft, not corse like he thought it was going to be. He was so engrossed
in petting the cat, even shushing it softly when it began to whine in pain and
rubbing the side of it's muzzle as a permanent frown etched its face.
It was his secret that he loved animals, though he had been caught by Hanji
when he dropped off some food for the stray cats that wandered around their
main headquarters. He was bullied by her for weeks, every time he went to leave
his office she would ask if he was going to feed the 'puddy cats'. His response
usually by throwing whatever was in his hand at her head, usually his black
coffee or pen.
"Its out," Hanji announced.
Forgetting about his duty of handing her the instruments that she needed, Levi
looked up to find her holding the bloody bullet in her hand.
"No thanks to you," she poked at him.
He was tempted to apologize, but it wasn't his thing and if she really needed
him, she would have made it well known to him. Placing the bullet down, she
grabbed what she needed to start stitching the cat up, but froze looking down
at the incision she made. Her eyes were large behind her rectangular, black
glasses, and started to fill with wonder and confusion. He hadn't seen her like
that since she stopped her research and became the main doctor for the Recon.
"What?" Levi demanded.
Returning back to her side, he stopped once he took in what surprised her so
much. The cut that she made, widening the gunshot wound to get the bullet out
was healing by itself. Flesh stitching back together and steam rising from the
wound.
"Oh my god! Look at what we've discovered, Levi!" Hanji almost jumped for joy.
He could see and hear her launching into one of her rants, something that he
hasn't seen in almost a year, and didn't miss it. She kept asking and answering
questions to herself, wondering how much trauma it could stand before it's
healing abilities couldn't keep up anymore, and more thoughts were rolling off
her tongue. However, he could tell that someone else had those same thoughts
Hanji was too caught up in to remember the scars peppering the animal's body.
"Hanji, look at its body," Levi instructed her, his glare turning onto the
animal's stomach and cursing the ones that created the scars. "Someone has
already figured out those questions...maybe even more."
He glanced over to see that even though she was quiet for once, she still had
the childlike curiosity and had a million questions on the verge of her lips.
The cat then moaned softly in pain, and he turned in time to see it clenching
its jaw and it's breathing coming out in rough pants. Levi actually felt sorry
for the creature in front of him, a foreign feeling that he hadn't felt in over
a decade and thought of the only way he could help.
"We could put it down," he offered. "Put it out of its misery."
Levi didn't need to look at Hanji to know the look that she gave him like two
small heads just sprouted out of his neck and began talking French to her. "Are
you fucking insane?"
"That's hilarious coming from you, four-eyes."
"What would be the advantage of killing it? Wouldn't it better to show it some
compassion rather than just letting it have only the memories of being
tormented?"
"You just went off with wondering how long it would last before it's ability to
heal would stop. It probably deserves some peace and suffered enough."
"That's my scientist brain talking, I can't control what sometimes comes out of
my mouth. You know that!"
"You can't control anything that comes out of your mouth."
"What the hell are you two doing?" Erwin's voice suddenly commanded.
Both of Levi and Hanji's head snapped up to see Erwin closing the door behind
him. Levi noted that he was still wearing the same thing from the interrogation
at the club and that he looked exhausted.
"What are you doing here?" Levi questioned back.
In response, Erwin lifted his phone from his pocket. "You forget that I get
notifications if any of our safe houses or emergency centers have it's sensors
go off. Now can someone explain to me why we're wasting medical supplies on an
animal?" he explained as he walked toward the table they were hovering over.
Levi glanced down to see that there was still steam coming off of the wound,
that it was still stitching itself together. He could barely explain it to
himself what he was witnessing, and there was almost no hope of making Erwin
understand what was happening in front of them.
"I made Levi come and help me bring it here-" Hanji started explaining.
"No one really makes Levi do anything," Erwin commented.
Levi wanted to roll his eyes at his comment because Erwin was the only one that
could make him do anything. Hanji had some sway but only if she bribed him with
expensive teas. "Whatever needs to replaced can come out of my pay," he
replied.
Erwin's eyes than settled on the steaming wound of the animal on the table,
eyes widened a fraction before looking up at Hanji. "Explain," he commanded. He
wasn't their friend anymore, he suddenly turned into their commander, and they
had to follow their orders. Levi let Hanji do all the talking since she was the
one that dragged him into this situation and now insisted that they keep the
animal alive. He was now half-heartedly still committed to putting the cat
down, but keeping it raised more questions that he couldn't think of the answer
to. He was zoning out her voice, something that he usually did anyway since she
talked so quickly that it all just sounded like gibberish even when he was
trying to keep up. Erwin had the magic ability to understand everything that
spilled from her mouth, nodding every once in a while, as Levi found his hand
beginning to run his fingers through its fur. The cat physically seemed to
relax at the action, something that hadn't been missed by Erwin.
"-been thinking that the animal had been experimented on to gain those
abilities or something along the lines. Anyways, Levi thinks that we should put
it down, while I think that we should make it the family pet," Hanji concluded.
"The family pet?" Erwin questioned her.
"Yeah, like a mascot!"
"Hanji...you do realize that it's mostly a wild animal, we don't even know what
it is, and you want us to have it around like a normal house cat?"
"Well, obviously we can't keep it here or at any of the other centers."
Levi looked up from the petting the animal, furrowed his brow. "Why can't we?"
"Someone needs to have it under constant supervision since we don't know how
long it's going to sleep for. It's lost a lot of blood and needs time to
recover."
"Well thankfully someone just requested time off in this very room," Erwin
smirked, looking at him.
"Fuck, no," Levi immediately replied.
"Come on, Levi," she started begging.
"Why not at your place?"
"Remember that I can't be trusted with animals, Petra stole my two babies from
me once she labeled me an unfit parent-"
"You forgot that they were there have half the time and can barely take care of
yourself," Erwin added.
"Yes, yes, I know, thank you for reminding me, but we're not talking about me
at the moment," she continued. "And Erwin is almost never home, also his place
is much smaller than yours. Another thing is that if the cat takes more than
the weekend to wake up than you can always do your paperwork at home."
He hated to admit but she was coming up with valid arguments of having the
animal stay at his house, but he hated more that he was finding himself
agreeing with everything she said.
"Only on one condition," he found himself saying. "We need to clean it up
before bringing it anywhere near my apartment."
"We're keeping it!" Hanji suddenly screamed in excitement.
Levi found himself just hoping that he wasn't going to regret letting Hanji
convince him to keep the cat. That he wasn't biting off way more than he can
chew. 
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
     Before I say anything, I wanted to thank everyone that comes back to
     keep reading whenever I upload. I appreciate it a lot and always
     motivates me to write more! So thank you again!
     So this update is drastically short compared to the past couple of
     chapters but it just didn't have the right flow to go back to Eren's
     pov so decided to post it and hopefully something out before the
     weekend ends or at least on Monday! Hope you enjoy!
Cleaning the animal was more difficult than they thought it was going to be and
even though Erwin had the final say in bringing this animal in, he left right
after Levi finally agreed to let the cat stay at his home. Leaving Hanji and
him to deal with cleaning up the mess they made. If it had just been Hanji
cleaning, she probably would have barely scrubbed down the instruments she
worked with or just throw them out since she was still vibrating with
excitement. He made sure that everything was cleaned properly before even
thinking about closing up shop and bringing the cat back into his car to go
home.
Hanji made a few calls around, seeing if anyone had an old dog cage they
weren’t using, and thank god she had the sense not to blab to everyone about
the new addition to the Recon.They agreed before Erwin left, even though it was
more Hanji going off than anything else, that they wanted it to at least get
accustomed to them and his place before introducing it to the rest of Erwin’s
circle. While Levi finished patting the cat down with a towel, trying to get
most of the water out of its fur, Hanji was running around the room collecting
various things and muttering to herself. Knowing how she was, he ignored her
muttering since it’s nonsense to his ears and thinking about the verbal throw
up he was going to receive if he asked her what she was talking about wasn’t
worth it.
After he figured that it was the best he can do with a towel, he looked over to
see that Hanji was done and had a container full of equipment and clothes
inside. She went outside to place the container in the trunk and then came back
to assist him with carrying the animal back into his car. Now that the animal
was clean, he didn’t mind so much but worried about getting claw marks in his
leather seats instead.
Hanji informed him that Eld had an old dog crate for when he had his german
shepherd years ago and he was just thankful that it was relatively close to his
place. He didn't feel like driving all over Maria for pet supplies and then
started wondering if he had enough food in his fridge for himself and the cat.
Though he had at least a couple of days to worry about it before it could eat
solid food.
"What about Fluffy?" Hanji asked.
"Really? What about that animal screams 'fluffy'?" he shot back, trying to
remember exactly how to get to Eld's apartment.
She kept throwing out ridiculous names for it, cliche cat and dog ones that
didn't describe the massive animal laying behind them. Spot, Puff, Max,
Whiskers, Spike, and others were quickly denied by Levi. "Why do you get the
final say in its name?" she complained like a child.
"Because you're not the one that's going to be housing it or taking the chance
of waking up with half your face eaten off."
"Oh, please, he's probably going to be all over you if he understands that
you're not there to hurt him."
"If, that's the important word, Hanji, if."
"Well we can't keep calling him, it or him, we've got to give it a name at
least."
By the time they arrived at Eld's house, Hanji was still throwing him names
that he immediately shot down, mostly because thinking of saying them out loud
made him feel ridiculous. He sent her to grab the crate from Eld, mostly
because he didn't want to leave the animal by itself, even if Hanji was certain
that it wouldn't wake up for a couple of days. Also, instructed her to try and
keep her mouth shut about what they had in the backseat, no matter how excited
she was. While he waited for her to grab the large folded up crate and put it
into the trunk, which it thankfully did fit, he thought about what he could
name his new pet. Everything that Hanji offered literally sounded like the
worst thing he's ever heard, ever suggesting Bean 2.0 after her previous cat,
which he promptly shut down.
"What about Loki?" she suddenly asked.
Levi was generally surprised that he liked the name, and found it fitting,
especially since the animal was already throwing their lives into a little bit
of chaos. It probably could only continue when he was awake and alert. "Loki
sounds good."
 
When they pulled into Levi's underground garage, Hanji wouldn't stop talking
about how excited she was about having Loki as being the mascot for the Recon,
even though he had to remind her that she needed to keep it quiet. She assured
him that she remembers and that she wouldn't let it slip but he doubt that she
could keep it away from Moblit for too long. As he parked the car, she asked
him if he wanted to take Loki or the crate, and decided carrying Loki would be
faster. Mostly because Hanji may just hold him, be too invested in just staring
at him or trying to feel his bone structure and accidentally drop him. They
somehow managed to get in the elevator and Hanji had to dig into his pocket to
retrieve the wallet that had his keycard as he was holding animal over his
shoulder. Loki hung limply in his arms that firmly pressed the cat against his
body but his tail had managed to wrap his leg. Once in a while Loki would let
out a groan, either of pain or being pressed against him, and Levi managed to
shush him quietly, scratching his fur lightly where his hand was placed. He
didn't need to look over at Hanji to know that she could hear everything he did
and a grin was probably plastered across her face.
"Where do you want the crate?" she asked him when they finally got in his
apartment.
"Next to the bed," he answered, following her into his bedroom.
She set up the crate pretty quickly and found the closet of spare blankets and
towels, bringing some of them to make a bed inside of it. Before he tried to
lay Loki down, Hanji stopped him and then laid down pads for him, she also hung
up an I.V. bag. He placed Loki down on the bundle of blankets and watched as
Hanji inserted the needle to the I.V. to his arm. The cat jerked slightly, a
small growl emerging from his lips, but then settled down soon after. When she
backed away, she left the crate open so that he could stretch his limbs while
he slept and handed Levi the container that she brought with them. It was
mostly empty but for a few pill bottles and more pads.
"When he wakes up, approach him slowly and try to make him comfortable. The
pills are vitamins that he most likely needs so when he can eat solid food,
crush them into chicken or whatever you're going to feed him," she explained.
"Just call me when he does, I want to see him when he's awake."
She left in a whirlwind, and he was thankful for the peace and quiet that meant
she was gone. Of course, she commented that he was being a bad host, didn't off
her anything to drink or something along those lines, and he just told her to
fuck off. She responded with a cheery, 'love you too' before Levi managed to
hit her with a couch pillow.
He returned to his room and decided that it was actually too quiet for his
liking and turned on his TV. Realizing that it was almost two in the morning,
he almost felt guilty for waking Eld up for a crate, though they desperately
needed it, especially when Loki would wake up. They probably woke up his little
girl and would show up to work tomorrow cursing their names. Hanji would at
least get the brunt of his rage, and she could complain about the encounter to
Levi after dealing with the angry father.
Sitting on the edge of his bed and flickering through the different stations to
find something to fall asleep to, Loki started whimpering in his sleep. He
looked over to the crate to find the cat’s paws twitching and another whine
coming out. Thinking that it was experiencing a nightmare, Levi found himself
sitting next to the open crate and reaching a hand out pet his fur, trying to
show it some comfort. Loki tensed his body up but then relaxed as he started to
scratch behind his ears and underneath his neck. A quiet purr began to replace
the whine which made Levi smirk slightly, leaning his back against his bed
while still having a hand on his head. He didn’t notice when his eyes became
too tired to keep open and fell asleep still holding onto Loki.
 
He immediately hated himself the next morning. His neck seemed to pop every
time he turned his head and no matter the number of times he tried to stretch
it out, it only got worse. It wasn’t his neck that only hurt, no, it was his
whole body but that was what he got for falling asleep on the floor.
Loki hadn’t moved from what he could tell and Levi thankfully noted that the
I.V. bag was almost dried out, replacing it when he could feel his legs again.
After switching out the bags, he decided to eat something and go through his
morning routine. He noted that he slept in once seeing that it was almost nine.
Levi was lucky if he managed to get six hours of sleep and it probably only
happened once a month, but he never slept in. Having the same egg whites and
tea that he always had for breakfast, he was tempted to bring his plate into
his room but his habits for keeping things clean weren’t going to change.
Once he finished, he placed his dishes in the dishwasher, already having the
pan drying off to the side. He spent the majority of the day, tidying up his
apartment but trying not to make too much noise as he went. It was the first
time that he had been cautious in his own house and actually worried when he
made too much noise. When he thought that he was being too loud, he’d walk into
his bedroom and peek to see if Loki stirred but nothing was out of the
ordinary. Even though he knew that nothing was going to wake him up unless his
body was ready, he still tried to keep the noise down to a minimum.
By the time that the sun started to go down, he was satisfied with his cleaning
for the day, even though he wanted to vacuum the little amount of rugs that he
owned but decided to wait until after Loki was better. He could control the
urges to scrub the floor another day. Making a quick dinner and consuming it
before returning back to his room, finding the cat still in the same spot.
Returning to his spot next to the crate, he brought a book that he’d been
meaning to read and sat with his hand curling around Loki’s fur.
He spent the remained of the night putting a dent in the book and when he began
to feel tired, he pulled himself onto his bed. Levi had no intention of waking
up with a sore neck and aching body the next morning. Since he did mostly
everything cleaning related the day before, he decided to work out for a bit
and then see if Erwin emailed him some paperwork or find something else to
occupy his time. Once he ate and went through the rest of his morning routine,
he stepped outside to feel that it wasn’t starting to get cold yet, even if it
was getting closer to October. He decided to do at least his warm up outside,
to get his lungs going and finally breath in some fresh air.
After getting his muscles loose, he traveled to the guest room where his
workout equipment was currently being stored. He wished that he could turn his
home office into his workout room but he wouldn’t have any idea where to put
all his books. Also, it was the only part of the apartment that wasn’t
decorated like everything else, gray or black. It had wood elements to the
room, his cherry wood desk, the wooden bookcases that surrounded the room, and
a large window that illuminated the bright room from behind his desk. He built
a window seat that attaches to the window sill, padding it with cushions and
pillows so he had somewhere to read with natural lighting. It had quickly
become his favorite place in his apartment and wouldn't trade it for a home
gym, no matter how much he thought he needed it.
His treadmill and dumbbells lined one side of the guest room, it being simple
with just a gray bed, black nightstands, one dresser, and then a smaller TV
than the one that was in his bedroom. He thought about making the guest room
into his gym but rather have somewhere that if he needed a place for someone to
stay, he rather have them contained to one room than his couch and being able
to have the ability to mess with his kitchen, dining, and living room. The only
person that ever stayed at his apartment was Hanji, mostly because he lived
closer to the headquarters than her or she had too much to drink when she went
out with our co-workers. Erwin had probably only stayed once in the entire time
that he's known him.
Going through his daily workout of cardio and lifting weights, it didn't take
him long for him to finish. Before he took a shower to rinse the sweat off of
him, he checked in on Loki again to see no further movement coming from the cat
but breathing. After showering and changing the pad underneath the cat, which
he had to hold his breath, muttered under his breath that Loki was lucky that
he was cute.
The rest of the day and the day after followed the same, mostly because Levi
really didn't have anything to do but sit with Loki and watch TV, though it
gave him time to catch up on some of his shows that he let slip. If he hadn't
workout, it would have probably made him feel gross, just sitting in his room
and watching TV but at least he had the silent company of Loki. He couldn't
talk back like Hanji did.
However, when he woke up the next day he felt like something was off. Quickly
looking over at the crate, he discovered that there was nothing inside and the
I.V. line was leaking onto the bundle of blankets. He looked over himself to
make sure that he wasn't mauled in the middle of the night, even though he knew
he would have woken up if his bed even tilted an inch from another weight being
added. Finding himself clean of any bites or scratches, he grabbed his phone
and started searching for Loki. He was a large cat so he probably won't be that
hard to find, but he was proved otherwise when he searched every room, even the
ones that he knew for a fact closed the previous night, and couldn't find him.
Opening his phone and looking for Hanji's contact information, rolling his eyes
at the number of times she messaged and tried to call him with random questions
about the cat, most of them he ignored. There were only three messages that he
sent, them being mostly photocopies of each other, stating that Loki hadn't
moved but was still breathing.  Deciding that even though she almost killed
them, she knew more about animals than he did and called her. It took all but
two rings before she answered the phone.
"How's our baby doing?" she greeted.
"Hello, to you too," he responded. "So quick question."
"Shoot."
"If I was a hundred and fifty-pound cat, where would I hide?"
"He woke up!"
He had to pull the phone from his ear, worrying that his eardrums may have
ruptured from her shrill voice. "Yes, now answer my question."
"I wanna see him."
"Well, you can't see him if I can't find him, Hanji."
"So you lost him? Leevviii."
"You can't lose a cat in a locked apartment. I know where the cat is, just not
his position. It's not like he could have unlocked the door, pushed the
elevator button, and then walked out of the building."
She suddenly laughed. "Well, where do you think he went?"
"Hanji."
"Fine, take the fun out of everything!"
Starting to already lose the little patience that he had for Hanji, even if it
had grown over the years, not by a lot though, he was already exhausted.
Plopping down on his couch and letting out a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his
nose with his other hand and already done with dealing with her.
"He's probably terrified so is there a place in your apartment that's dark and
would be big enough for him to hide?" she asked.
Thinking about everything that he had in his apartment, and there was nothing
that had enough room to hold Loki except for his walk-in closet and the one in
the guest room but he already checked those places to find nothing. Suddenly he
thought of a place. "The cabinets," he thought out loud.
"That's your best bet."
Pushing himself off the couch and traveled to the kitchen, he started to open
his many cabinets, finding them empty or full of pots and pans. Thinking that
he needs to clean out his kitchen since he didn't need that many when he opened
the cabinets in the island, a growl greeted him. He looked inside to see yellow
eyes reflecting back at him, but once he let out a sigh and kneeled in front of
the cabinet, he noticed that Loki's eyes were actually a bright green. His tail
was flickering around the small room that he had, knocking into the walls and
making a thumping noise.
"Hey, it's okay," Levi whispered to him.
He tried to do what he always did, putting his hand out for the animal to sniff
at it but apparently, he moved to fast because Loki moved his body flat against
the wall and let out a deep hiss. He raised his paw as if to swat at him but
then put it back down, letting another growl come out of his throat.
"What are you doing to the baby?" Hanji demanded in his ear.
"He's not a baby, I just moved too fast and startled him," he explained.
"Well move slowly, he's probably so scared."
"No shit, Sherlock."
Slowly he extended his hand toward Loki but stopped once he got a few inches
into the cabinet space, letting him come to his hand if he wanted to. He could
tell that he already had a lot of work ahead of him to get this creature to
remotely trust him, but he could do it, especially if he had no plans but to do
paperwork for a while. The cat's green eyes flickered to his hand and back up
to Levi's face, putting a steady paw down and inched closer to his palm.
Confusion and fear was a mix in his eyes, one fighting for dominance over the
other. Soon Loki's wet nose was almost touching Levi's hand, but then a growl
still pushed its way out. If he had been a normal person, he would have
flinched away, scaring the creature and probably end up having teeth and
puncture marks in his hand. However, he didn't move an inch, letting Loki know
that he wasn't afraid of him and that he shouldn't be afraid of Levi. Another
growl came out, but it was softer and not as threatening as the one before it,
and he moved away from his hand, pressing his body once more against the back
wall.
"Hey, I've been asking how it's going for a minute now," he heard Hanji
whining.
"So at least he doesn't want to rip my face off," Levi noted. "But he's not
ready to rub all over me, yet."
"Of course he isn't. He's not going to love all over you after smelling your
hand once, but it's important that he sees you and knows that you're trying not
to hurt him."
"You want me to sit on my ass all day in the kitchen?"
"Do you want to pet him or what?"
"I was against this, just so you know."
"But now you aren't. You probably already can't live without him anymore."
Letting out a deep sigh as she laughed, no, cackled, and he was rubbing his
bridge again.
"Oh, you can probably try and give him some solid food, chicken or something
like that," she remembered. "So when can I see him?"
"Goodbye, Hanji."
Hanging up the phone even though he could hear her starting to talk again, he
placed the phone next to him and then sat on his ass in front of the cabinet.
His back pressed against the wall so he was facing Loki, who looked at him
curiously.
"Better hold tight, it's going to be a long day," Levi muttered.
He wasn't sure if he was talking to Loki or himself.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
     Just wanted to say that the coming chapters are going to be a bit
     slow compared to the past ones, mostly because I'm trying to focus on
     Eren and Levi's strange relationship so I apologize for it going to
     be slow. However, hopefully, you guys still enjoy it and it doesn't
     stir you away from the story. Enjoy!
Eren couldn't remember exactly how he ended up in his dark box, just that he
woke up with a pain in his leg and he had no idea where he was. He could hear
the person that was sleeping in their bed, breathing. He remembered that there
was no way out, that he couldn't open the door with his teeth or useless paws,
so he did the only thing he could think of. Hide. He pawed at the small doors
in a certain room and tried to find one that wasn't full of metal objects or
smelled of cleaner. When he finally found one, he slipped his long body into
the dark compartment, hoping to figure out where he was and how to get out.
Looking at his body, he noticed that some parts of his fur were shaved off,
revealing a long scar where he was shot. The person in the other room must have
taken it out, but it didn't stop him from wondering what insane person would
save him. Especially in the form he was currently in. Taking in deep breaths,
he tried to change back but yelped in pain when his sides began to tighten and
seemed to snap in half.
Why can't I change back? Why?
Trying to control his breathing, he tried once again but more pain consumed him
the more effort he put into it. Panic began to tear through him realizing that
he was stuck, that he couldn't get out unless the man sleeping in the next room
mistakenly left the front door wide open. He couldn't see anyone making such a
stupid mistake. Petra would be able to calm him down.
Petra.
Suddenly remembering everything that happened before he woke up, it struck him
to his core and the numbness began to fill his body. She was gone, dead. He
would never see her again and he failed at what she asked him to do. He racked
his brain trying to remember her parting words. The ones that she wanted him to
remember no matter what. He remembered asking for Levi, but couldn't remember
the other person's name, and to say that she sent him. It was a large building
that he needed to go to.
What did she say the building was called? Freedom something...Freedom.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
Before his breathing was beginning to get out of control, he heard movement
coming from the direction of the room he was sleeping in. He stilled himself
after pressing his body into the wall, trying put as much distance from him and
the opening of his box.
His ears picked up the sound of footsteps padding around, growing fainter and
louder depending on where the man went. If he had hands, they would probably
would have been pressed against his mouth, trying to get his breathing under
control. He didn't know what to do if he was found. If he attacked, he didn't
know if the man was armed and then there would probably be no way of getting
out. He also didn't want to kill anyone else, so many people already died for
him, he didn't need to kill more.
The man sighed before he could hear a faint ringing coming from where he was
standing.
"Hello, to you too," the man suddenly said. "So quick question."
Who is he talking to?
He could heard a female voice coming out of somewhere but it was too faint for
even him to hear. If he was out in the open, he may have been able to hear
everything but not from within his box.
"If I was a hundred fifty pound cat, where would I hide?...Yes, now answer my
question...Well you can't see him if I can't find him, Hanji."
So they were talking about him, and the name that he spoke sounded familiar,
but he knew that it wasn't the other name that Petra mentioned. It bothered him
anyways while he kept listening to the conversation, trying to see if he could
gather any information about where he was.
"You can't lose a cat in a locked apartment. I know where the cat is, just not
his position. It's not like he could have unlocked the door, pushed the
elevator button, and then walked out of the building...Hanji," the man
continued.
So he was in the building and vaguely remembered seeing glass as he was
searching for a place to hide. Kicking himself for not taking the time to check
out his surroundings because fear had gripped him too much. The man in the
other room was quiet for a bit and didn't say anything.
"The cabinets," he suddenly exclaimed.
Footsteps then reappeared and they were heading straight for him. Realizing
that he still had no plan for getting caught, he just decided to wait until the
moment happened and rely on his instincts. He can hear the squeak of other
doors opening, getting closer and closer to his hiding place. When the first
stream of light appeared in his box, a growl pulsed unexpectedly through his
throat. He could only see the man's baggy grey pants and a pale arm before the
man squatted in front of him. Eren found himself surprised to admit that the
man was pretty. His features were sharp but had a soft edge to his mouth, even
if it seemed to be permanently in a frown. Silver, hard eyes stared back at him
with dark circles under them and onyx hair fell almost into them. Though from
the frown and hard eyes on him usually would have made him uneasy, he didn't
feel threatened by this man. His tail seemed to think otherwise though,
twitching like it did when he was scared or frightened.
"Hey, it's okay," the man whispered to him.
The man made a sudden movement with his hand, causing a hiss to come out of his
mouth, his body seeming to know what to do. His paw instinctively went up to
swat at that the man's hand, but Eren realized that trying to injure him or
anything like that wasn't going to help him. He returned his paw to the ground
and instead let another growl come out, at least to warn the man to not get too
close.
"What are you doing to the baby?" he heard the woman's voice more clearly,
though it was still pretty faint.
His eyes searched for anything that it could be coming from and landed on a
black device pinned between the man's ear and shoulder. Remembering that Petra
showed him something familiar, he realized that it was a phone. She had let him
mess around with the phone even though he couldn't use it to actually call
someone, the building that he was housed in was apparently a dead zone.
"He's not a baby, I just moved too fast and startled him," the man explained to
the phone.
"Well move slowly, he's probably so scared," he heard the woman whined.
"No shit, Sherlock."
The man moved once again, but slower, just like the woman said to do. His hand
moved only inches into his box and stopped. It was like the man was waiting for
him to do something and then realized that he was actually waiting for him to
sniff his hand. He didn't want to get closer to this mysterious man but it
seemed like he was making a lot of effort to show Eren that he wasn't a threat.
Thinking to amuse him, he moved his head closer to the man's pale hand, almost
brushing his nose against his flesh, and breathed in his scent. He discovered
the man to have smelt of earthy herbs and faint chemical. Eren didn't
understand how they worked so well together but they did. Another growl slipped
out of his throat, him cursing at the animal inside of him to stop, but noticed
that the man didn't flinch like many others have. He could easily sink his
sharp teeth into the man's palm or even rip his face to shreds with his claws
but he continued to stare at him, waiting patiently. Finally, his animal
started to understand that the man in front of him was not a threat at the
moment, even if it growled one last time, though it was much softer than the
others. He moved away from the man's hand then, pressing his body once again
against the back of his box, seeing what the man would do next.
"Hey, I've been asking how it's going for a minute now," the woman spoke again.
"So at least he doesn't want to rip my face off, but he's not ready to rub all
over me, yet," the man explained to the phone.
"Of course he isn't. He's not going to love all over you after smelling your
hand once, but it's important that he sees you and knows that you're trying not
to hurt him."
"You want me to sit on my ass all day in the kitchen?"
Eren's ears twitched at the man's statement. He wouldn't be able to make his
escape with the man's eyes on him all day, though he could try and warm up to
this stranger, especially if he fed him. He could focus on building his
strength, enough to shift back where he could open a door with actual hands.
Eren didn't have wholeheartedly like the man that would be his caretaker and he
didn't plan on staying for too long. Once he found Levi and wherever he was
supposed to go, he would repay the man for housing him, even if he didn't know
what he actually was.
"Do you want to pet him or what?" the woman asked.
"I was against this, just so you know," the man confessed.
"But now you aren't. You probably already can't live without him anymore."
The man rubbed the bridge of his nose once the woman on the other end laughed,
though Eren couldn't tell if it really was a laugh or not.
"Oh, you can probably try and give him some solid food, chicken or something
like that. So when can I see him?"
"Goodbye, Hanji."
The sound of food or even possibly chicken almost made Eren's mouth water, and
he could feel his stomach constrict for a moment, realizing that he probably
hasn't eaten that much. He still didn't know how long he was out for.
The man then moved to sit with his back pressed against the wall behind him,
facing him still and Eren continued to watch him with keen eyes.
"Better hold tight, it's going to be a long day," the man muttered.
He didn't know if the man was talking to him or himself.
 
They kept staring at each other for the longest time and the man wouldn’t back
down from Eren’s gaze, though he mostly just looked bored. A feeling that he
was very acquainted with all the time he’d been isolated by himself. The only
time that the man took his silver eyes off of him was when he messed with his
phone, which he didn’t do too often. Sometimes he would get up and Eren was
tempted to poke his head out from the box but by the time he would gather
enough courage, the man came back. He wondered what he would even do if he came
out of his box, he knew where the door was and that he could use an elevator,
whatever that was, to get out of the building, but nothing besides that. He
didn’t know how far he had escaped from his capturers, it could be a couple of
miles away or maybe a hundred. If he went outside and got caught because he was
so close to them, then everything him and Petra have done would be nothing. The
blood that he spilled would be gone. Petra would have died for nothing.
He was so caught up in his thoughts of her that he didn’t notice that the man
had moved from his spot. Once he pulled himself out of his thoughts, now
becoming aware of the missing presence, he slowly poked his head out to see the
man standing in front of a large metal box. He opened the door and Eren could
feel the chill from inside of it from where he sat. The man was looking for
something but seemed to have found it, grabbed it, and closed the door to the
box before Eren could look around him to see what was inside. He turned in time
to see his head poking out, the corner of his lip turned up.
“You planning to come out now?” the man asked him.
He quickly retreated back into his hole and was once again cornered by the man
when he sat down. In the man’s hand was a container with a red lid and once he
opened it, the air was filled with the familiar smell of chicken and spices.
His stomach growled loudly at the thought of just having a taste of the meat,
even if he only had a bite of it. The man reached inside of the container to
pull some pieces of the chicken off with a gloved hand. Eren was immediately
suspicious of the gloved hand, mostly because the only people that he's seen
with gloves had the intentions of laying a knife into him or more. However, the
need to eat was overcoming his fear of the gloves. The white was thrown into
his box, inches from his paws by the man, and he immediately devoured it. He'd
probably be sobbing from how great it was if he was in human form, but all he
could do was continue to gobble up the pieces that were thrown at him. When
there was no more meat being thrown his way, he looked up at the man, a small
chirp coming out of his mouth. The closest he could come to asking him
anything. The man showed him the empty container.
"There's no more," the man explained.
But you can make more.
He answered with another chirp, the man's eyebrows raising slightly.
"Do you want me to make more?" he asked slowly, suddenly becoming unsure of
himself.
Eren had a choice to make, either to actually nod and answer his question,
making it known to this man that he wasn't just an animal, or stay in blissful
ignorance. However, not responding could make his process of leaving slower and
he must know that there was something off about him already. Especially he
treated his wound. The man had to have seen his flesh stitching together and
stream, rebuilding itself. Before he could talk himself out of it even more, he
noted his head. The benefit was outweighing the risks at the moment but he
wouldn't reveal himself fully to this stranger. He wouldn't show him his true
form and keep acting like an intelligent animal. The man's eyes seemed to grow
in size when Eren nodded.
"You can understand me?" the man questioned.
He was still hesitant but nodded after taking a moment.
"Hanj is going to lose her shit," he whispered to himself.
Eren was generally surprised at the man's reaction to him, the only other
person that remotely acted this calm was Petra. She also was prepared, she knew
that he could transform and had other abilities. Everyone else reacted with
disgust or ran away like the people that saw him running down the street. Of
course, the man doesn't know that he can shift, and he probably wasn't going to
ever know if he got his way, but know he knew that Eren was smarter than the
average animal. Maybe he was just taken in by an insane person but at least he
was being fed.
The man cooked him another breast of chicken and he had enough courage to step
out of his box, watching the man prepare his food. His nostrils flared at the
different spices that filled the air and he poured powder or plants into the
metal object he used to cook it. The man was muttering to himself and over the
sound of food sizzling, he couldn't understand everything that he said. It
mostly had to deal with him, he could tell that. 'Shitty Hanji' was muttered
multiple times, referring to the woman that he talked to most likely. Once he
was done cooking, the man placed the meat on a plate and went to place the
objects he used into a hole in the counter, then water came pouring out a
nozzle attached to it. Eren lost interest in what the man was doing and eyed
the piece of chicken for him. Before he could even think about reaching it to
snag the meat off the counter but once he took a step toward it, the man was
there, taking it away from him. A mix between a growl and a chirp came from
deep in his throat in response.
"You'll burn yourself if you eat it right away," the man explained.
Eren didn't mind getting burned so he can stop his stomach from eating itself
but needed to be obedient toward the man. The more the man trusted him, the
more likely he would let him out. Waited for something that he wanted was
something he was going to have to get used too, especially if he wanted the man
to give him his warm chicken. When the meat was brought down to him, it was
only half, disappointed but he swallowed it down before the other half was
given to him. Eren almost choked on the other half, trying to devour it to fill
his belly, which he saw the man shake his head in amusement. The man slowly
approached him, grabbing the dish from in front of him, and Eren retreated back
to the safety of his box. He heard water turning back on and then shut off
again before the man returned to the floor in front of him.
"So my friend didn't know that you were this extraordinary animal that didn't
just having amazing healing abilities but also can fucking understand us, she
named you Loki," the man explained. "But I highly doubt that that's your name."
He found himself shaking his head and huffed through his nose, already hating
that he couldn't speak.
What kind of name is Loki?
"I'm guessing that you didn't like the name," he chuckled slightly.
Eren was surprised how much he liked how the man laughed, though his face
barely changed, his eyes filled with the laughter.
"Was going to suggest that we can keep calling you that but apparently you
don't like Loki...did you have a name before?" the man further questioned.
Nodding his head once again, the man thought for a bit. He then starting off
listing off letters to see where it started with. Eren would answer with a
shake of the head.
"F...K...R...T...E," the man listed off.
His ear twitched and perked up at the man's last letter ranted off to him. He
had decided to actually lay down and rest his limbs, his paws about to hang out
of his box and tail curling out of it.
"Please don't tell me your name is Erwin," he suddenly asked.
Shaking his head slightly, the man let out some of the air in his chest.
"Thank fuck," the man breathed. "I wouldn't be able to deal with two."
Then the man started rattling off different names, some of them he's never
heard.
"Edward...Ethan...Eli...Eugene...Emmett...Eld...Edmund...Eren," the man
continued.
He had honestly started to zone out before he said his name. Eren understood
how Petra must have felt when he was asking her a bunch of questions about the
outside, he was exhausted even when he couldn't talk. It felt weird, to hear
his name from someone's mouth. He's been referred to as it for so long that he
feared that he would have forgotten his name if it wasn't for Dr. Djel and
Petra's visits.
"So your name is Eren," the man commented. "Well, if it helps, mine's Levi."
He snapped his head toward the man, this new information making his head pound.
The coincidence was too much, it wasn't possible that the man that Petra begged
him to find and talked so fondly over was right in front of him. However, the
Levi she told him about won't have sat on a floor for hours, trying to get an
animal to come out of its shell and be this rationally calm about discovering
that he wasn't just an untamed creature. The Levi she portrayed was a calm
before the storm, a clean freak, and someone who cared ferociously for the ones
he let in but couldn't give two shits about anyone else. He now wished that he
pushed for more information about her former savior. even if he knew that it
hurt her whenever she mentioned her past. Wished he found out what her Levi
looked like besides calling him dark and mysterious once.
As Levi gave him one of his smirking smiles, he decided at that moment that
Petra's Levi and the one sitting in front of him were not the same.
 
After the shock of finding out his stranger's name, Levi announced that he ass
was falling asleep and that he was moving to something called a couch. He told
Eren that he could stay in the cabinet, the thing he was currently hiding in,
or join him in the other room. Levi honestly didn't care, just as long as he
was comfortable wherever he wanted to be. He didn't move from his spot, even
when he could see the light from the various windows turning darker, the
shadows of objects running across the ground. Inside he was cursing himself for
not taking the chance to walk around, explore the place that he was calling
home for a few days. He should be happy. Happy that he's finally out of his
hell and breathing in different air. He should have ran to the various windows
in this place, taking in the new views, and watch the clouds, something that
he's been wanting to do for so long.
However, he couldn't move from the cabinet that was acting as his safety
blanket at the moment. Deep inside he knew why he wasn't letting himself enjoy
the moment. He was punishing himself, for not following Petra's orders, for not
being strong enough to get them both out of there...for running away while
Petra became cold on the Earth. Even though he knew that if he didn't follow
her orders to run, he never would have made it as far as he did, and probably
would have been recaptured. Be back in his white room instead of the gray walls
that surrounded himself outside of his dark cabinet.
Eren didn't know how long he sat there tormenting himself, staring at one spot
on the spotless, tiled floor, not having enough courage to find where Levi's
couch was and find out where all the excess noise came from. Soon enough the
noise disappeared suddenly and he noticed that there were almost no lights
within the house, but the kitchen and another light source. He could hear
Levi's footsteps coming closer to him and a smirk greeted him as he kneeled in
front of the cabinet.
"So you decided to stay in here all day," he took in. "That's fine, hopefully,
you'll feel more comfortable soon."
His hand reached out, to touch him, and Eren instinctively pulled away from the
hand. A flash of realization crossed Levi's face as he started taking his hand
back.
"Sorry, I've been used to petting you when you were out," Levi explained.
Eren looked at the man in front of him, thinking that it wouldn't be so bad to
be taken care of before he went on his own. He's only experience with someone
petting him was with Petra, and he was surprised that he enjoyed it as much as
he did, especially when she rubbed his ears. Slowly, Eren leaned his head
toward the man, giving him silent permission to touch him. His eyes
instinctively closed when he felt the man's fingers running through the top of
his fur. He'd forgotten how good it felt, to be touched by another.
Levi soon left, announcing that he was going into his room to sleep and that
Eren was welcomed to join him, something that was tempting. Thinking of
sleeping in the cabinet was making his body ache but he's slept on worse. He
also didn't want to be surrounded by Levi's unique scent and completely have a
panic attack from the unfamiliarity of it. The lights were soon all turned off,
leaving in Eren in almost complete darkness but the moonlight coming in through
the windows. Being used to always having an artificial light on him, it was
weird to be in the dark but found himself being lured to sleep by the sounds of
pages turning in the next room.
 
When Eren woke up the next morning, he was correct about his muscles aching and
limbs being numb, but he didn't expect to find a warm blanket covering him.
Looking out from his cabinet, he found Levi leaning against the wall and
reading something in his hands. He seemed to notice the moment that he stirred,
because he paused briefly and looked up to him, realizing small, black glasses
framed his face nicely.
"Good morning," Levi greeted.
The small smirk, that Eren figured out was actually the closest to a smile that
Levi could pull, stirred something within him that he didn't expect. He wasn't
sure if everything involved with Levi was going to end in disaster.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     So this is going to be another short and slow chapter, I'm sorry!
     I've fallen into a writing slump and haven't been able to write
     anything for most of the week, but I didn't want to just leave this
     without an update for almost a week. Hopefully, you enjoy!
Levi busied himself with making them breakfast, something that Eren hadn’t
heard since being captured but it surprised him how quickly he remembered what
the word meant. He managed to gather his courage again to step outside of his
cabinet and watch as he started to pull small boxes and vegetables out of the
cold, metal box. Levi noticed that he came out of his hiding hole but didn’t
say anything else, closing the metal box once he grabbed everything. He would
take some of the items that he grabbed and place them in front of Eren’s nose,
letting him sniff the ingredients. He looked questionably at the man, mostly
because he didn’t understand why Levi was letting him sniff everything, though
he was curious about the items on the counter. Everything that was placed in
front of him was completely different from the next and he was surprised with
how much he was enjoying the array of scents that was placed to his nose. Levi
explained what each item was, eggs, ham, spinach, bread, and different spices
that made him sneeze the first time he breathed them in. He watched as Levi
began to cook again but retreated from the scene when he pulled out a short
knife from a wooden block. Deep inside he knew that Levi wasn’t going to turn
the knife toward him but the fear of the metal instrument being pointed in his
direction crept up on him. Levi didn’t seem to notice his absence until he
heard the knife stop cutting at whatever ingredient he was hacking at. He could
hear the food being cooked on the flat, metal bowl but Levi’s footsteps could
be heard coming toward his cabinet. Once Levi came into full view, he studied
Eren and realization spread over his face, probably understand why he suddenly
retreated to safety.
“I’ll be more careful for now on,” Levi stated before leaving his sight.
The smell of whatever he was cooking made his stomach start to growl loudly,
and he was pretty sure that Levi could hear it since he heard him let out a
small chuckle. If he was in his normal form, he would be head-to-toe red from
embarrassment and grateful for once being in this form still. He heard the
sizzling of cooking stop and return of running water, signally that food would
soon be in his belly and that Levi was cleaning up. Once the water stop, Levi
appeared again and sat down in his spot while juggling two white plates. On the
plates was a yellow blob, though it didn’t look appealing, it smelled
wonderful. Levi placed one of the plates in front of Eren on the ground and
started digging into his own blob. He quickly noticed that the one in front of
him had a lot more of the food than the plate that Levi was currently eating
from. Eren sniffed the plate before inching closer to it and gingerly took a
piece of it in his mouth, surprised how easily that it tore apart. An approving
chirp came from his throat before he started consuming everything on his plate,
getting a small chuckle from Levi. When he finished the plate, he licked his
lips knowing that he could feel pieces of the food covering his muzzle and
looked up in time to see Levi rolling his eyes at the mess on his face.
“So I can see that you enjoy my cooking, but you don’t have to make a mess to
prove it,” he teased.
Levi grabbed both of their plates and he heard the water run briefly again
before he was back. In his hand was a wet piece of cloth and he squatted closer
to Eren than he did before.
“I’m going to clean you up a bit since you still have pieces of egg around your
mouth,” Levi explained.
He waited for Eren to nod, making sure that he knew what he was going to do
before he moved toward him and wiped the warm, wet cloth over his face. He was
surprised with how gently the cloth was as it wiped against his fur, how gentle
someone can be while cleaning them up. Back in his prison, they would throw him
underneath freezing water and scrub him down with cloths until he was raw if he
could stand. If he could barely hold his own weight, they would throw buckets
of the icy water on him and scrub him down. He enjoyed being clean after those
washings but he hated the process to get the grim and blood off of his skin.
After Levi deemed him clean enough, he moved away from him once again.
“I’m going to be in the other room and you’re free to join me if you want,” he
heard Levi tell him.
He left Eren to his own accord as he walked by him and disappeared from his
view of the wall and kitchen. Taking a deep breath and growing tired of seeing
the same three walls surrounding him and the same view that he’s had for the
past two days, he stepped out of the cabinet.
Looking around the kitchen, he was happy to find that the color white wasn’t
involved too much in the decoration of Levi’s place. He didn’t know that he
despised that color as much as he did now if he never saw it again it would be
too soon. Cabinets, like the one that he spent two days in, lined the ground
and also the ceiling and each was interrupted by metal blocks that he hoped
Levi would explain what each was in time. A portion of the kitchen’s wall had
been taken out and he could only guess that Levi was on the opposite side of
the wall. If he was in his humanoid form then he could probably see into the
other room but chose to continue exploring the place he was calling home until
he left. The kitchen opened up into another room that had a black, slick table
and one chair; there was nothing else in the room beside the glass wall that
leads to a platform outside. He immediately stopped at the wall and stared
outside, wishing that he could feel the air on his skin-...well fur at the
moment and breathe it in. The sky was the prettiest blue he’s ever seen and
there were no clouds to disturb the color, leaving Eren to take in every
detail. He pressed his face against the glass, wanting to be outside, and could
feel how cold it probably was.
“Do you want to go outside?” Levi’s voice said behind him.
Eren quickly whipped his head around to see Levi leaning against the wall that
separated the room he was currently in and from where he must have emerged
from. He hadn’t changed from the dark gray sweatpants he wore this morning and
long sleeve black shirt. It didn’t feel cold enough to wear something like that
but Petra always told Eren that he ran higher in temperature than normal
people. She used it to her advantage by always sitting almost in his lap when
she complained that they kept his room cold so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable for
him. It always made him laugh to himself, mostly because they would cut into
his body and make his heart stop but also wanted to keep the temperature in his
room low so he’d be comfortable.
“It’s starting to get cold outside,” he explained as he walked across the small
room and grabbed onto the metal frame of the glass wall. “Just be careful.”
Suddenly the wall started opening, making Eren jump slightly at the movement.
Feeling a cool gush of air that hit him made his fur suddenly rise up, trying
to trap in the heat that his body expelled. If he could start crying then he
would already be a mess as he hesitantly took a step outside. This was
different from the first time he went outside. He was running for his life and
couldn’t afford to take everything in or else he’d find himself back in his
white room. As he breathed in the chilly air, he finally realized that he was
free.
 
Levi watched as the cat hesitantly walked around his porch, sniffling
everything that he came into contact with. The plants that desperately needed
to be watered, his metal chairs and table set, and the hanging couch that he
barely used. Eren’s fur had puffed out to almost twice it’s normal length,
probably trying to keep himself warm. It was getting chilly and probably would
snow before December from how quickly the weather was changing already. He
didn’t move from the doorway of the sliding glass door, trying to stay warm as
much as possible, but continued to watch as Eren finally stopped walking around
and sat in front of the railing. His head was angled down so he could look down
the slit between the concrete and railing to see the ground. He waited for him
to see that they were on the thirtieth floor and freak out from the height,
which he did. Eren mostly jumped back and looked back at Levi with wide eyes.
“Yeah, we’re pretty high up,” Levi found himself chuckling.
Eren’s soft green eyes were almost impossibly wide as soft chirps and growls
came out of his throat like he was trying to understand how they were so far up
without falling to their deaths. He found himself surprised at how cute he
thought his reaction was.
“We’re perfectly safe, Eren,” he responded back to the large cat.
He gave him a look that completely said that he didn’t believe anything that
came out of his mouth. Levi continued his watch even when Eren finally calmed
down enough to sit in the middle of the deck. The sun had crept up and now was
starting to take over the porch. This would normally be the time that Levi
would move away from the doorway and hightail it into his dark house. The sun
and his pale skin were not friends and never be friends from the red burns he
received from just being out for a few minutes. However, he watched as the sun
crept onto Eren’s fur and he seemed to freeze at the sudden warmth. His eyes
started to close at the sun’s warmth and seconds later his body started to
shake. It didn’t take Levi too long to understand that he wasn’t shaking from
the cold, but he could guess that this was the first time that Eren had ever
felt the sun or he’d forgotten what it had felt like. He felt a sudden anger at
the monsters that created the scars that littered his stomach, and probably his
whole body. He wanted to get closer to the large cat, comfort him by running
his hands through his warming fur but knew that he would frighten him. He had
never cared for something this fast, at least with the level of intelligence
that Eren showed. It was easy to care for an animal that all it wanted to do is
eat and be loved on, especially when you’re the one giving it the food.
Obviously, Eren had enough knowledge to understand everything that came out of
his mouth and could probably do much more than he’s shown so far. He left his
spot then, to let Eren have his moment without his prying eyes and retreated
into the living room.
 
He didn’t know how long he stayed out in the sun, just taking in the years that
he’s missed this very opportunity but when he opened his eyes once again, Levi
was gone. His body was starting to become unbearably hot from standing in
direct light for god knows how long and decided to go back to his tall home. It
still boggled his mind that they were so far up on a building and even though
Levi said that it was perfectly safe, he swore that he could feel the building
sway lightly with the wind now. He could hear voices and other noises coming
from behind the wall that Levi appeared from and poked his head around. He saw
the back of Levi’s head poking out behind something he was sitting on, probably
the couch that he told him about last night. The space in the room was large
and not a lot of items filled it, making it feel empty. The noises were coming
from a massive square object that seemed to float on the wall by itself. The
images were moving but the figures that appeared on the screen were drawn
instead of living people. When Eren moved closer, he could see that something
they said on the object would draw a small chuckle or smirk out of Levi.
Eventually, Levi noticed that he was there when the screen went to black for a
second and actual people started filling the screen.
“You’ve had your moment in the sun?” Levi asked him.
He nodded in response and then looked over at the wall, different people and
scenarios kept changing through the screen within moments of each other and he
couldn’t keep up what was happening on it. Then he began further confused when
it returned back to the moving drawings. Suddenly he felt the urge to draw once
again, something that he hasn’t felt since Petra first disappeared on him and
reappeared in his life. When he turned his head away from the object, he
noticed that Levi was coming back from the room he was just previously in,
probably to go close the glass wall he left open. He returned to his spot but
grabbed a black blanket that was hanging on the back of the white couch and
laid it down next to him.
“You can come up on the couch, if you want, instead of sitting on the hard
floor,” Levi suggested as he patted the blanket.
He hesitant placed his front paws on the couch but making sure that he stayed
on the blanket. Eren didn’t know if he shed, mostly because he was never in his
this form for too long. The longest time that he’d been in this form was when
she wanted to see him like this and stayed like that until she left. He climbed
onto the couch, surprised to find the blanket was the softest thing he ever
felt but had to curl his body to fit his body on it. Eren wanted to stretch out
but didn’t want to stray off the blanket at all. His attention went back to the
rectangle screen on the wall and still found the drawings moving and talking.
His head cocked to the side as he tried to grasp what he was seeing and heard
Levi shuffle next to him.
“Have you seen a TV before?” he was asked.
The words sounded familiar and when he tried to recall where he’s heard it
before, his head started to pound slightly. So instead of dwelling on that, he
shook his head and looked back over at Levi. He scratched the side of his head
like he was trying to think of how to explain how this TV worked. Somewhere
inside of him, he wished that Levi was using that hand instead to scratch
behind his ears or underneath his chin, a place that Petra discovered made him
relax within two seconds.
“What you’re seeing on the screen is millions of pictures that have been sped
up until it looks like a fluid movement. There are shows and movies. Shows are
short segments that usually has a story and it continues for multiple episodes.
Movies are just condensed shows that usually don’t have continuations,” Levi
explained. “Most shows are live-action, meaning that they have real people
acting in different roles and almost all the time is fiction, meaning it’s not
real. And then there are animated shows, like the one we’re watching now, that
are hand drawn and then put through a computer to animate the drawings into
moving things.”
He could tell that Levi was trying his best to explain this strange concept to
him, but his head was swimming from all the new information through his head.
Soon he fell into his old habit of just nodding, letting it be known that he
was listening though he wasn’t really understanding everything coming out of
his mouth. He looked at the colorful drawings that flickered across the screen
and wondered how long it took to make the hundreds or thousands of drawn
pictures to create such a smooth movement. Just thinking about the number of
drawings they had to create made his hand twitch for the need to create once
again.
 
Levi eventually stopped explaining after he probably guessed that Eren still
had no clue what a TV was made out of, something called pixels, and chalked it
up to magic. Something that somehow made it easier to understand than the
actual answer. They both continued to watch TV, Eren grasping some of the jokes
that the figures made and was starting to understand when a show ended and when
it began, especially when a tune signaled the beginning of it. It made it
easier when it was the same show one after the other, though each segment was
different from the last, even if it had mostly the same cartoon people in each
one.
Eren had placed his chin on the top of his paws that he eventually crossed over
each other and stared almost absentmindedly at the television when he felt a
sudden presence on his head. He jerked up into a sitting position, a growl
pulsing from his muzzle, and looked over in time to see Levi’s hand up in the
air. Feeling foolish for reacting so suddenly and harshly because he just put
his hand on him, Eren slowly laid back down.
“Sorry,” Levi simply said.
He put his hand at his own side and returned his attention back to the screen.
Eren guessed that he once again had been used to petting him when he was passed
out that he absentmindedly tried to pet him once again. He inched closer to
Levi at that point and was pleased to find that the blanket reached his side,
so he moved his head to nudge against the hand that tried to pet him. Levi
seemed to understand what he was trying to do, to say that he forgave him and
now giving him permission to do what he originally wanted. His hand started
stroking his fur, rubbing behind his ears, and making Eren let out a soft purr
that he couldn’t control.
Eren surprised himself with how relaxed and...happy he felt at that moment.
Even though he was still confused at the situation he was placed in and sadly
knew that he would have to leave Levi’s side, he was...content. He just hoped
that he wouldn’t just suddenly just wake up and find himself in his white room.
He wanted nothing more than this to be real.
***** Chapter 12 *****
Eren slept in the cabinet again, though Levi had padded it with several
blankets so it was more comfortable than just sleeping on hardwood. He offered
numerous times before leaving him for the night that he was welcomed to sleep
in the room with him, or even on his bed. Though it sounded appealing and much
more comfortable than the hard surface of the cabinet, he still needed a place
to feel safe and wasn't in the open. If he was in his other form he probably
won't be like that though, the animal inside of him wanted a dark enclosed
place to feel safe or else it would become reckless.
He woke up before Levi did, wishing to find him sitting in front of his open
cabinet or just getting ready to make delicious breakfast for the both of them.
Poking his head out from his box, he saw that none of the lights were turned on
but the sunlight was beginning to spill into the apartment. Getting out, he
rounded around the island of cabinets and out of the next room, to find the
door that led to Levi's bedroom ajared. Using his paw to push the door enough
for his body to slip through, he saw that Levi was laying on his side playing
on his phone. He was surrounded by a large, fluffy dark gray blanket and black
pillows encasing him, and his thumb kept moving on the screen. His steel eyes
moved lazily across the phone until the movement of the door opening caught his
attention. Those liquid metal eyes landed on Eren and he sat up, abandoning the
phone on the bed.
"It's almost eight, isn't it?" Levi muttered to himself.
He looked down at his phone once again and nodded once he saw the time. Then he
pulled himself off of the bed, passing by Eren and gently placing his hand on
his head, scratching behind his ears.
"Let's go get something to eat," Levi smiled slightly at him.
Eren prepared himself for the touch but his body still jerked slightly at the
contact, making a sense of disappointment wash over him. The feeling came as a
surprise to him and in the back of his head, something nagged at it that it
wasn't good. That he shouldn't be feeling anything like that when it came to
this man that he's only known for less than three days. He didn't want to think
about how not seeing Levi as the first thing his eyes settle on made his chest
deflate or how being this close to him made a sense of safety and comfort seep
into his skin. He didn't know when these thoughts and foreign feelings began
but choose to swallow them down, putting them in the back of his mind because
he wasn't going to be here for very long and didn't need them clouding his
judgment. He couldn't take Levi with him when he leaves his apartment. Levi has
his own life and he would be eternally grateful for everything this man has
done for him so far, and what he will do until he's gone. He stood there as
Levi passed him and started his way toward the kitchen. Eren waited until he
could make the sudden onset of nausea pass and push his heart back down his
throat before following Levi to the kitchen.
 
The day passed like the previous one, though Eren wasn't hiding in his cabinet
anymore. He didn't realize that he was mostly at Levi's hip throughout the
whole day as the man cleaned until he commented on it. Feeling embarrassed, he
moved  to the couch and laid on the black blanket that was still laid out for
him. When Levi disappeared from his sight for a while, he hated the feeling
that started creeping up on him when he was gone for too long. He tried to
ignore it, on top of every noise coming from the quiet apartment and his mind
running wild that they found him. It didn't help that he couldn't tell exactly
where the noises came from, either from a different room or from below them,
especially with him still getting used to his new profound hearing. He didn’t
realize that every time that he heard a far off noise, a small growl would
creep up his throat. That was until Levi would poke his head out from wherever
he was, looking at him with a raised brow until eventually, he connected that
he was growling at the random noises. Eventually, he returned to his side and
sat down next to him, slowly moving his hand so that Eren could see the
movement and placed it on his side, threading the fur between his fingers. It
was sad how much excitement and stupid pride filled him when he realized that
he didn’t flinch at Levi’s touch.
“Whoever took you, they have no idea where you are,” Levi explained to him.
“Hanji made sure there wasn’t a microchip or tracking device implanted on
you...they’re not coming for you.”
Eren didn’t realize he needed to hear something like that until the words came
out of his mouth. He had been terrified that the Djel was going to burst into
Levi’s place with his bodyguards hot on his trail at every noise the apartment
made. That he was going to end up back where he was caged and treated like the
animal they convinced him he was. While this person, who believed he was
nothing more than an intelligent animal, treated him with more respect than
they ever did.
 
Levi’s words didn’t completely hit home until the next day. He woke up in his
cabinet and saw him already making himself busy with their breakfast. He
stretched his long body as he climbed out of the cabinet, a yawn pulling his
mouth open and alerted Levi to his awakened state. They continued to go through
their normal routine of breakfast, anything that he made was devoured in two
seconds which Levi always found amusing, and Eren took his spot on the couch.
The TV was put on to a random channel, sometimes it was actual people or the
drawings again, and Levi would put his two cents every once in a while.  He
wanted to be in the other room with him but kept remembering the comment that
he made yesterday, that he was literally attached to his hip and that he was
afraid that he was going to hit him by accident. He hated it but every time
that he heard Levi muttering to himself or when he came into view, his ears
would perk up. He no longer growls at the noises anymore, Levi’s words always
coming to the front of his mind when he did and relaxed him enough to not growl
or flinch if the noises were loud or sudden. Whenever he would pop back into
the room, even if he was just going to be briefly in the room, he would go up
to Eren and pet him or just put a hand on his head, still trying to get him
more used to his touch. He didn’t mind of course, especially when it relaxed
him to no end when someone ran their fingers through his fur and giving him any
form of attention. It was something Petra did when he came back  from bad
sessions and reminded him of those tender moments that they spent together.
After Levi deemed his place clean enough, he plopped down on the couch next to
Eren, once again beginning to scratch and pet his fur. He turned on the
television and then the patterns his created through his fur became simple as
his attention was turned onto the screen. Eventually, his eyes began to close,
the movement of Levi’s hands pulling him to sleep.
 
He opened his eyes to see nothing but white. White walls that he tried
desperately to run away from and no matter how far he ran, they never seemed to
end. Twisting and turning down the hallways that he’s only seen once, it led to
nothing but more white walls. His legs burned and it wasn’t until then did he
realize that he wasn’t an animal but running on his actual legs instead of
paws. His lungs painfully breathed in the artificial air and kept pushing to
keep running, to find an exit from this place that he thought he finally
escaped.
He turned down more hallways than he could count and no matter how much he
pushed himself to keep going, it felt like he was going nowhere. Finally, his
legs skidded to a stop once he flew around another corner and saw a blood-
soaked figure standing in the middle of the hallway. Rubbing his eyes and
looking at the figure once again a face that he thought he would never see
again greeted him. Warm chocolate eyes greeted him, the same soft smile that
would never leave his mind, her petite hand moved her strawberry blonde hair to
the side as the smile grew. The last time he saw Petra was seeing her small
body falling as he ran away. That she sacrificed her life so he could escape.
He didn't know that he had slowly moved over to her until his hand was already
reaching out to touch her face. Tears streaming down both their faces when he
felt warm skin upon his fingertips. He wished with all his heart that it wasn't
a dream and he actually convinced himself for a second that it wasn't until she
grabbed his hand with both of hers and placed it over her heart. There was no
movement, except her breathing. No heartbeat, nothing that he could feel at
least and even when he focused on hearing it, nothing was there.
"You need to find them, Eren," she whispered to him. "Gather your strength
first and then you need to find them."
Before there was anything that he could do or say, Petra suddenly folded over
and gasped in pain. She looked up at him, her face paling as she held both of
his hands over her stomach. Red began to leak out between her fingers and
staining her blue scrubs.
"Do this for me," she gasped.
It was almost in slow motion as she started falling backward, a hand out
reaching toward him, like there was some way for him to stop her death. Could
stop her before she could hit the ground and be lost from him forever. As he
reached out to grab her hand, she suddenly disappeared, mid-fall, and he ended
up on his knees, his hand still reaching out for hers. He kept staring at his
hand, excepting to find hers somehow there and with the rest of her too. Before
he could even think of  standing up, the bloody figure appeared right in front
of him. He could feel the heat of the blood radiating off of the figure and
landed on his ass, trying to get away from it. When his eyes landed on its
face, he realized who it was even with their hair soaked in blood and covering
their face. He knew his mother even when he couldn't remember what she looked
like.
"Why did you let this happen?" she cried.
Her hand reached toward her chest, where the blood was the most concentrated,
some of it still trickling out of a bullet hole. There was another one on the
side of her head but refused to look even near it.
"Why didn't you run?!" her voice shrilled screamed at him.
She took a step toward him, reaching a bloodied hand at his face and before he
could react the world was surrounded by white.
 
When Eren's eyes focused on his surroundings, he felt the remains of a growl
still echoing through his throat and saw the steel, grey eyes of Levi staring
back at him. They were calm but they flashed with an emotion he couldn't trace
and realized very quickly what position he was in. His front paws were pinning
Levi to the couch and he was dangerously close to his face. Levi's hands were
open and besides his head, showing that he had nothing in his hands and was
completely defenseless. Eyes widening and knowing that he mostly just
unconsciously attacked Levi, he quickly pushed himself off of his chest and
faced the other way, refusing to make eye contact with Levi. He kept thinking
about his dream, of Petra bleeding out and his mother's accusing hand reaching
out to him, that it made his breath become fast and harsh.
"Hey, hey," Levi tried calling to him.
Before he knew it, Levi filled his vision, gently touching his face and turning
his head so they would make eye contact with each other. He started coaching
him to breathe, take deep breaths and let them out slowly. Soon enough the
panic that started to spread across his chest began to creep away from his
being, and he was left stunned at how quickly Levi managed to make the panic go
away. It usually overtook him so quickly and only Petra had been able to help
him through it, but never stop it before it fully started.
"That's it," he encouraged him.
He pet Eren's head softly and gave him a small smile, well what was considered
his smile which was just the lifting of the side of his mouth slightly.
"I tried to wake you up for dinner, but I guess I should have left you alone,"
Levi confessed.
His head briefly turned to the doorway to the glass wall and indeed see that it
was getting dark outside, usually the tell that they were going to eat once
again. Not knowing how to apologize, especially with his inability to speak
anything but grunts and growls, he simply just placed his head on Levi's
shoulder. Trying to show that he was sorry for the way he reacted.
"Hey, it's okay," Levi commented.
Once he felt Levi's arms surround him did he realize that his body was
trembling slightly. It was almost sad how much tension left his body once his
arms encased him, how he leaned more into the embrace and finding comfort in
this man that he barely knew. When Levi started to pull away, he knew that if
he was human, if he had hands and fingers, he would have grabbed him back to
continue the embrace, once again surprising himself. He never really wanted
anything, besides to leave the horrible place he was trapped in for years and
to find his family, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for wanted something
more than that. He didn't understand and even begin to either why he felt that
way, but he knew that it was going to be trouble.
 
Levi once again offered to let him join him on his bed, but Eren responded by
only just walking into the kitchen and falling into his nest of blankets. He
only scratched his head once before leaving his sight and turning off the
lights, bathing him in the darkness. He dreamed of Petra again, leaking blood
from the many bullets that his guards filled her full of and pleading with him
to find the people she told him about. Even when he begged for her to remind
him of who they are and where to find them, she always succumbed to her
injuries and replaced with his bloody mother. She screamed at him for his
failure to run away, that the blood on her is of the people that died by his
hand and who died protecting him. He almost preferred watching her die
protecting him than seeing Petra repeatedly bleeding and his mother reminding
him of his failures. Though he wished that he didn't have either of those
dreams. He'd actually prefer if he didn't have any.
He woke up once again to the smell of breakfast being made by Levi, his mouth
immediately watering and stomach growling suddenly. Before he even fully woke
up and stretched his way out of his cabinet, his plate was placed next to Levi
on the floor. The plate was quickly cleaned before Levi managed to eat half of
his food, though he was eating his food a bit slower than normal too. He was
looking at his phone in one hand while the plate was balanced on his thigh and
a furrow was beginning to etch into his forehead. Whatever he was reading on
his screen, he wasn't becoming happy about. Letting out a sigh, he rubbed the
bridge of his nose, something that Eren picked up that he did when Levi was
annoyed or becoming irritated.
Levi looked over at him to see his equivalent of asking 'what's wrong' with
tilting his head slightly and flattening his ears slightly. He responded by
shaking his head briefly like he was getting rid of a thought, and placing his
phone on the counter above them.
"I'm going to have to leave for a while," Levi explained.
Wishing that he could ask him what he meant and where he'd be disappearing off
to, instead he chirped to get his attention, hoping that it would convey enough
of what he was asking. Levi got up, grabbing his half-eaten plate and his own,
and placing them in the sink.
"I got called back into work, though he promises that it's not going to last
that long," Levi answered his chirp. "And then you'll have me for the rest of
the day and hopefully the rest of the week."
After he cleaned the dishes and placed them in what Levi called a drying rack,
he turned toward Eren as he dried off his hands.
"Oh don't give me that look, I won't be gone for long," Levi smiled, walked
over to him and rubbed his head.
He didn't know that he was giving Levi a look, but he couldn't only guess that
it was disappointment. Eren didn't like him out of his sights for too long,
mostly because he always hoped that this great man in front of him wasn't a
figment of his imagination and he needed the noise of another person near him.
He hated just hearing the air conditioning, something that was the only a
constant in his previous life.
Levi gathered everything he needed too quickly and was stationed at the door,
probably thinking if he grabbed everything he needed. He had turned on the TV
as he walked by it to go to one of the three branching rooms to the right. Eren
watched him as he had walked around the house and reappeared from one of the
many rooms with a vanilla folder. He realized that Levi was leaving the TV on
for him once he was near the front door so he would have noise in the house
while he was gone. He wished he could show how grateful he was for that action,
and how important it was to him that there was noise to distract him.
"I'll be back soon, just don't leave the apartment in ruins," he cautioned in a
joking tone.
After a brief wave, he was gone. He proceeded to pull his focus onto the TV,
trying to distract himself and force the pain of not seeing Levi in his sights
down his throat.
 
He didn't realize how much Eren had ingrained himself into Levi's life until he
was physically away from the cat. Where he couldn't just simply poke his head
into the next room to make sure that he was still staring in the direction he
disappeared from. If he had rooms that were more connected, he'd probably make
a game with the cat, disappearing and reappearing into a different room, making
him chase after Levi. Eren needed to exercise or else he was going to get fat
off of his cooking, which the image of an overweight cat made a smile appear on
his lips. Smiling was so foreign to him but the cat always seemed to make it
come naturally and he couldn't think of the last time he generally smiled.
Erwin had called him three times this morning, all three of them he ignored
since he didn't want to hear his voice even after not seeing or hearing
anything from him for five days. Meeting Erwin would mean that they would go
back to their previous conversation that he left hanging and Levi wanted
nothing to do with it, at least not until he consumed three shots of whiskey.
Then he'd be able to stay calm during the conversation...or he would throw a
glass at Erwin's face, not caring if it actually made contact or not.
After stopping at a red light, he got a notification that Hanji had called him
once again and an address that Erwin wanted him to go to. Ignoring the call, he
clicked on the address so it would direct him where to go. It was surprising
how not guilty he felt about not telling Hanji the new discoveries he made with
Eren. He had to put his phone on silent most of the time because she mostly
called every few hours and would know that the random noise would freak Eren
out. At the end of the day, he always sends her an update on how he's doing
though he never mentions his intelligence. Even if he explained that he could
shake his head for a yes or no question, Hanji would book it to his house and
demand to run simple experiments on him, and he didn't think that Eren would
even be able to handle those. She mostly just asked to come over and see him
but Levi was just getting him used to his presence and his touch. Introducing
Hanji would most likely throw their balance off and start the whole process
over again. He wouldn't mind since he would be able to ask Erwin for extra time
and he had more than enough money to live off of if he didn't work for an
extended amount of time. Though the thought of Eren having to trust him all
over again made his cold heart twist in disapproval.
He had surprised himself by the amount of times he caught himself wondering if
Eren was adjusting well to his place and if there was anything he could do to
help. If it was just a random outsider coming into his home and this skittish,
he didn't know if he would treat them the same way he was treating Eren. He
wasn't completely heartless, though he'd prefer if everyone believed that he
was, and would keep up the appearance to keep it going. Eren couldn't tell
people the extra mile that he was going to get him to trust him.
As he drew near to the location Erwin, he wondered if Eren was doing okay
without him.
 
"Fucking waste of time," Levi muttered to himself, slamming the door of his now
dirt covered car.
Erwin didn't inform him that the address he sent was in the middle of nowhere,
next to one of the many small abandoned airports that surrounded Maria. It was
a simple deal, with the Recon giving supplies to some uncover agents that had
invented one of the gangs that gave them more grief than most. His attendance
was needed in case actually members of the gang followed. A simple word from
Levi would have stopped any shootout before even a gun was raised and Erwin
preferred if everything went as planned, especially with the drama with the
Garrison still happening. Their agents were late and even with their excuses of
trying to shake some of the gang's members off their trail, it still didn't
help Levi's mood of having to wait. He promised Eren that he'd be back and it
was already two hours since he'd seen his cat.
Eren isn't my cat. He's not anyone's cat.
He didn't know when he started to refer to himself as the owner of Eren and it
didn't help that it felt right to say that Eren was his. He was taking care of
him and gain his trust. Out of everyone that knows about him, he's been the
only one  spending all of his time and effort into him. If anyone was going to
have ownership over the cat, it was going to be him.
He cursed Erwin, internally and very much externally, as he walked into their
main headquarters, a plain brick building that was hidden behind one of the
many casinos that littered the avenue.
He had to walk through one of the largest casinos to gain access into the
building, Wings of Freedom, which he found ironic, especially when most people
that walk out flat broke or more in debt walking out than they did walking in.
The casinos were the only place that every social class was welcomed and
interacted with each other. It also didn't help that the avenue was the only
street in all of their country to have so many casinos in one place and that
served alcohol alongside the gambling. Levi didn't like the idea but it was
where most of the money for the Recon came from and they needed money to try
and fix the rest of Maria.
Ignoring his coworkers once he was granted access to their headquarters, which
was just them looking at his pissed off expression and opening the door
immediately for him. With his folder full of paperwork in hand, he climbed the
metal staircase up two floors and walked down the glass hallways to Erwin's
office at the end of the hall. Every office but his had a large glass window so
they were visible from the hallway, including his, which he still threatened to
cover it with black paint for some form of privacy.
Levi didn't knock when he opened the door, knowing the Erwin was already
expecting him to drop by after the deal was done, even if it turned south he
would still come. Though he expected him to be alone, Mike was sitting on
Erwin's desk, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"It smells like sex and shame in here," Levi commented.
Though they both tried to put the effort in hiding their embarrassment, Mike
was the only one that gave some of it away, his ears turning slightly red which
he tried to hide with brushing his blonde hair over them. Erwin didn't give
anything away, which was exactly what Levi expected from him.
"Would you both put a restraint on both of your cocks until you get home?" he
continued as he threw the folder on Erwin's desk.
Mike was dismissed with a flick of Erwin's head and greeted Levi by only
nodding his head at him. Barely taller than Erwin, he still towered over his
form as he left the room, closing it behind him as he went.
"So I'm the guessing the deal went as planned?" Erwin asked as he grabbed the
folder thrown at him and glimpsed inside of it.
"No shit, if it didn't then I'd be staining your white carpet with blood," he
countered, itching to get out already so he can see Eren again. "Though it
probably won't be the worst thing to stain your carpet."
Instead of the stern look he usually received, Erwin just continued to look
through the papers that Levi signed and constructed for him. Finally, when he
was done and deemed all of them correct and up to his standards, he placed them
next to his closed laptop on the cherry wood desk. He leaned back in his large,
black chair and crossed his leg over the other before gesturing toward the two
other chairs in front of Levi.
"Why don't you sit? We haven't seen each other in a few days," Erwin stated.
Reluctantly he pulled the plush, black chair out and sat down. He would have
preferred to be on his way home, not liking the thought that Eren had been
alone for more than two hours. Though he wasn't worried about Eren tearing the
place apart since he'll most likely find him sitting in the same exact place
waiting for him or even at the door once he heard the lock being turned.
"How's our new edition to the family?" he asked simply. "I've been told that
you and Hanji named it Loki."
"Fine, scared, but fine," Levi answered quickly.
He knew the amount of shit he'd be in if Erwin found out about the cat's
intelligence and didn't hear it from Levi himself, but he wasn't ready for Eren
to be in the spotlight. It would probably be a few more weeks before he felt
like he was comfortable enough to be introduced to more than just himself.
"Just fine? You adopted mostly a wild animal into your apartment and no scratch
marks?" Erwin chuckled.
"Loki has only just recently got used to me," he explained. "Though he still is
hesitant about me touching him and making sudden movements."
"So he hasn't tried to maul you in your sleep?"
"No, not yet."
Erwin nodded, folding his fingers together and bringing them up to his lips,
something he did when he was thinking. He usually did it when he was trying to
ask or bring something up to Levi in a way that wasn't going to make him just
get up and leave. Something that he was already considering doing once he saw
the action.
"Besides that, has your time off been well?" Erwin questioned.
"It's been fine," he hesitant answered.
If he brings up Furlan or Isabel, I'm leaving.
"I know that this may seem odd, but have you heard from Petra?" he suddenly
asked.
"Petra?" he found himself asking. "I haven't spoken to her in almost over a
year."
The last time that they talked, Petra had called him on his birthday and
wishing him good luck with the new year. People who left the business usually
never stayed in contact, mostly in fear that past involvements with the Recon
would catch back up to them. Most former members moved out of the country
altogether and move to America or even somewhere in Europe. Of course, the
Recon offered to help them with the move, which most of them take. Petra,
however, refused the help, saying that we've done more for her than she could
ever repay. The last time that he saw her in person was when she requested a
meeting with him and Erwin, informing them of her desire to leave and start a
life with her and her father somewhere else. After that, she mostly
disappeared, only calling once every few months and stopped altogether in late
December.
"Why do you ask?" Levi asked.
"Ever since you two found Loki, it reminded me of Petra. You know how much of
an animal lover she was.  I would have thought that she would have been one of
the ones to keep in contact with us, at least you anyways," he acknowledged.
"Me? Why at least me?"
He knew the answer already. She had built this complex toward him for saving
her life the day that they meet and he never been able to tell her that Erwin
originally sent him there to interrupt the deal and kill everyone there. Though
when he saw the way she fought for her life and the only killed when she needed
to, he knew that he needed to help her. She was only one that he took under his
wing and taught her everything he knew, and she'll probably be the only he ever
will. "Because if she were to contact any of us, it would be you."
 
They continued to talk about trivial things, most of it was just Erwin going on
about how his meetings were boring without Levi, which he called bullshit on.
They were boring with or without him there. He thankfully didn't bring anything
up about the Garrison or his two former childhood friends, but he wished he did
so he would have a reason to leave. If he really wanted to, he could just get
up and leave while Erwin was in mid-sentence, but he didn't need to be punished
by doing a shit ton of paperwork. He knew how much Levi hated paperwork.
Erwin must have seen that he was becoming restless in his seat, of course he
saw, Erwin sees everything, because he let a smirk take a hold of his face. "I
have a confession to make," he suddenly presented.
Levi stared at him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.
"I've been enlisted by Hanji as a distraction so she could beat you home," he
confessed.
Realizing what that meant, that Eren would be suffering by himself with Hanji,
he got up suddenly, the chair flying out from behind him.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Levi growled.
Erwin raised his hands in submission but the stupid fucking grin was still
plastered across his face. "Hey, she offered to buy my round of drinks next
time we go out, and you know how much I can drink," he laughed.
Wanting to grab Erwin's perfect blonde hair and slam his head into his pristine
desk, he instead grabbed his coat, sent the bird in his direction, and mostly
ran down the hallway. He just hoped that he got home in time before Hanji can
reverse all of the progress that he made with Eren.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Notes
     I hope you guys like the chapter, I think that there is going to be
     only two more chapters of cat Eren and Levi, not including this one!
     Unless I think and want to add something else but I have everything
     planned out now so most likely just two more chapters! Enjoy the
     peace while it lasts! The song is called Rx by Theory of a Deadman
He honestly didn't know how long he had been sitting on the couch, but his legs
were beginning to go numb underneath him and the same animated show that was
running had done five of its theme songs. Eren couldn't think of anything else
to do, mostly because Levi had shut all the doors in the apartment but his
bedroom so the only available rooms were the one he was in, the kitchen, and
what Levi called the dining room. He wanted to go outside again, something he
hadn't done since Levi had opened the glass wall for him the first time.
Thinking about feeling the sun on his fur again made him yearn for it even more
so he continued to distract himself with the TV, trying not to think of the
sunlight feet away from him. He was beginning to catch onto some of the
references that some of the shows made, of course only after Levi had to
explain exactly what they were and where they were from. He had begun to worry
that Levi was becoming bored and tired of explaining every little detail to
Eren, but when he looked over with the tilt of his head, Levi had an
explanation ready.
While trying to distract himself, he entertained the thought of trying to shift
but he honestly didn't know if he could. He still felt weak and not like
himself. He wanted to try but knew that if he did, he didn't know if he could
turn back in time when Levi came back home. Immediately he shook his head at
the thought. He shouldn't care what Levi thought, or care that Levi wouldn't
find him, at least in his animal form. Honestly, he didn't know how he'd react
to finding Eren in his actual form and that scared him more than leaving Levi.

 Before he could fall into this spiral of self-pity, he suddenly heard a ding
faintly out from behind the front door. He immediately hopped down from the
couch and paced in front of the door, waiting to hear the familiar footsteps
walking down the hall. The footsteps that he memorized for the past couple of
days didn't come but were replaced by slightly lighter ones. He could tell that
whoever was outside the front door were making an effort of trying to keep
their movements quiet and breathing limited. Immediately thinking the worst and
that the lab coats had finally found him, he did the only thing he could think
of.
Hide.
Eren's immediate reaction was to go to his cabinet, the first place that he
ever felt safe in this apartment, but it was currently open and he couldn't
close it with his paws. His mind started searching for things that he can get
underneath or wide enough for his feline body. Foregoing the room he was
currently in and the kitchen, he quickly poked his head into the dining room to
find nothing to hide under and moved to Levi's bedroom. Kicking the door closed
behind him, he could hear the brief squeak of the lock turning and he began to
frantically search for something, anything. The other doors in the room where
both closed and his eyes landed on the bed. He could see that there was space
underneath and other things, hopefully, enough to keep his body hidden from the
intruder. Flattening his body enough to get underneath the wooden frames was
harder than he thought and found that there were black containers on both sides
of the bed, with just enough space for his body to fit in between. The
containers mostly covered the whole length of the bed and were just tall enough
to cover him if he lowered his head. He looked back to make sure that his tail
was tucked in before lowering his head enough to just see over the top of the
containers.
He could hear the door opening, the shuffling of feet, and then it closed. Too
quickly did he smell a familiar smell that was mixed in with the stranger’s
scent that drifted through the apartment. A small growl emerged once he inhaled
the smell of sanitizer, something that he hadn't smelt since his last session
with the lab coats. He could barely smell anything on this new scent but that
and his tail flicked involuntarily at the memories that he pushed away. He
could freak out after they were gone and Levi came back.
"Lookkkii," a feminine voice rang throughout the house.
His ears perked up as he realized that he heard that voice before. It clicked
suddenly that it was the voice he heard on Levi's phone, the first time that he
came face to face with his savior. He couldn't think of what he called her, but
he was suddenly conflicted about what he should do. Obviously, the person was
trusted enough with Levi to let her in the apartment by herself, but she still
called him by Loki. He hadn't told her his real name and wondered what it could
mean.
"Where you at, pussycat?" she sang slightly.
She seemed to cackle slightly and at that moment he confirmed with himself that
the woman currently stalking around was the same one that was on the phone. He
could hear her walking through the apartment and visualizing where her
footsteps came from. He could picture her movement and followed her as she
moved into the kitchen. Soon enough he could hear the cabinet doors being
opened and closing, and she let out an almost defeated sigh when the noise
stopped.
"Lookkiii...are you hiding from me?" she asked with a small laugh.
He decided then that he should stay in his hiding place, hope that Levi arrived
before she found him, and have him explain to Eren what exactly was going on.
She walked out of the kitchen and eventually back into the living room. The
woman probably began to get on her hands and knees, searching underneath
anything that his body could slip into, though he could only guess since he
refused to move out from the bed. He was generally surprised that she didn't
touch the room he was in, though he had made sure that the bedroom door was
closed before even hiding. She hadn't been checking rooms where the doors were
closed but it was eventually going to come to that once she couldn't find him
in the three rooms that were open.
Eren wasn't sure how long it lasted, but eventually, she did move on to another
room, just like he thought. Though, thankfully it was on the opposite side of
the apartment. He'd still never seen the other rooms so he tried to think of
where she was and how far away from the living room she could be. The sound of
doors opening and closing and various things being moved made Eren's fur stand
on its end, especially when she seemed to have moved something a little too
sudden. She kept calling out the name he was given when he first woke up but it
never seemed to lose the singsong attitude and tone in her voice, like she
enjoyed trying to find him. Like they were playing hide n' seek as if they were
children.
She once again moved to the living room and let out another sigh.
"Come on Loki, I just wanna see ya," she called out.
Before she could continue her journey of trying to find him, he quickly picked
up the sound of another pair of footsteps coming to the door, though this time
he knew who was here.
"Hanji! What the fuck are you doing in my house?" Levi's voice growled at the
woman.
"You won't return my calls," she answered simply, before seeming to turn toward
Levi's bedroom door because her voice became louder. "Come here, puss, puss."
"Sit your ass down or else I will throw you off of my balcony."
Levi's footsteps then started toward the kitchen, but before he could get far
Hanji's voice rung out once again. "I already searched there...and there...oh,
there also...come on Levi, I thought you would know where your cat is."
"You probably fucking traumatized him, of course, he would be hiding from your
shrill voice."
"I didn't mean to scare him, I just wanted to see him since I am the one that
saved his life."
"You should have waited for me to come home."
His footsteps then came to his bedroom, the knob of the door turned slightly
but before it could turn fully and the door be open, he seemed to have turned
to Hanji.
"If I come back and you have moved an inch off that couch-" he started.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Whole death by throwing over the balcony."
Eventually, the door opened and Levi slipped through the crack he made for
himself, then leaned his body against the door once it was closed. He let out a
deep breath and hit the back of his head on the door.
"Fucking ridiculous woman," he muttered under his breath.
His silver eyes immediately found his, surprising him how fast he was found
out. Hanji most likely would have done the same but he just hoped that Levi
just knew him well enough to guess where he'd go, it also helped that this was
his apartment and knew where he could hide.
"Hey, Eren," he whispered, getting onto his knees so he could see underneath
the bed. "You okay?"
Hesitantly he nodded and Levi patted the white carpet next to him, telling Eren
to come out. His eyes moved away from him and onto the door, worried that Hanji
would disobey Levi's threat and come busting into the room to see him.
"Hey, don't worry about her, she's not going to come in," he explained, patting
the carpet once again.
He nodded once again to say that he understood. He was grateful that his body
was flexible or trying to escape the tight fit between the two containers would
have been an embarrassing effort, but eventually, he moved his body around so
he could get out. Eren sat down next to him and leaned into breath in his scent
of earthy herbs and artificial citrus that he's secretly learned to enjoy,
making the tension that he's been harboring since Hanji first came here leak
out of his body. Levi reached up and rubbed the side of his neck, scratching
every once in a while to help him relax.
"Sorry about all of that. Hanji has no boundaries and doesn't know when she's
stepping over other people's," he apologized for her.
Nodding as Levi moved his hand toward Eren's face, rubbing his muzzle and cheek
softly, making him lean into the touch. A deep purr emerged from his throat,
something that still embarrassed him but didn't mind it that much anymore, not
when Levi seemed pleased with himself when he managed to make him do it.
"You don't have to come out and meet her," Levi explained to him. "I know she
probably scared you, but she isn't that bad. I can plan on her coming over when
I'm actually here and having an actually civilized meeting."
Eren once again nodded. He didn't feel like meeting anyone new, especially not
after thinking how the lab coats had found him and it turned out to just be
Levi's friend. He honestly felt stupid for feeling nervous about meeting the
person in the other room, especially with him knowing that once he could shift
back to normal, he would be gone. Meeting another person just meant that he
would be leaving another one behind when he left.
Levi ran his fingers through the fur at the top of his head one last time
before nodding and using the bed to stand up. He pressed a finger against
sealed lips, warning him that he needed to be quiet, before leaving the room.
"Okay, you scared him half to death and he won't come out of his hiding place
no matter how many chicken breasts I promise him. So now you gotta go," Levi
commanded, probably ushering Hanji out of his apartment.
"Leevviii," she whined.
"I don't care if you want to see him, now you have to wait until he's used to
me again and that could take a couple of days."
"I just wanna see him."
"Stop acting like a child and take responsibility for what you did."
She huffed but he could hear her footsteps walking over to the front door.
"You know I can't help it," she argued. "My animal loving side just wants to
cuddle him and love all over him, but my scientist side wants to poke and prod
at him, even if it's just making sure he's healthy."
"You start poking him and I'll break every pair of glasses that you own," Levi
threatened.
"It's not like I'm going to be cutting him open or anything like that."
The thought of being cut open again made his breath freeze in his throat. He
didn't know if he could go through everything that he's already been through
with his former guards and lab coats. He could barely be in the same room when
Levi was making their meals and had to use a knife to cut the ingredients,
though Eren noticed that he's been finding meals that didn't have the use of
the knife that much.
"It doesn't matter if you do or want, I will text you when it's okay to come
over," Levi explained to her. "And don't you dare use Erwin as a distraction
again or I'll hunt you down and leave you to rot in a warehouse."
"Fine," Hanji huffed.
He heard the front door opening and finally close after he heard her footsteps
retreating outside of the door. Walking over toward the slightly opened door,
he backed away in time for Levi to open the bedroom door fully so he could go
back into the living room. He was greeted with one of Eren's favorite smiles
and gestured him to walk with him to the couch, where they both spent the rest
of the day relaxing in front of the TV.
 
That night when Levi began to get ready for bed, Eren hesitantly walked into
the man's bedroom and saw that he changed into a long-sleeved black shirt and
white sweatpants. He must have just put on his pants because he was adjusting
the waistband and only looked up when Eren had to open the door more for his
body to slip through.
"Hey, buddy," he smiled at him. "Whatcha' doing?"
His eyes moved to the bed and then back at Levi. He had been thinking about it
for most of the day, that he should try to sleep in a place that wasn't made
out of wood. Though the blankets that cushioned the cabinets helped, he still
felt sore when he woke up. He would have just jumped onto the bed and make his
intentions clear but didn't know if Levi slept in a certain place or wanted him
to lay on a blanket like he did on the couch.
"You finally going to sleep in here?" he questioned.
Eren continued to look at him, not really knowing what to do with himself but
stand there until he was given a signal to wait before coming on the bed. He
figured that he didn't know what would happen to him once he left and tried to
find the people that Petra wanted him to, and didn't know if he'd be able to
sleep on a soft looking bed like the one that Levi had. That was at least what
he told himself.
Levi climbed onto his bed, grabbed the remote to turn the TV on and got
situated, grabbing his laptop and opened it up on his lap. His thin fingers
began to move effortlessly across the keyboard but eventually noticed that Eren
was still staring at him on the ground.
"You can come up, Eren," he said, patting the open space next to him. "You
don't shed that much so don't worry about where you want to sleep."
Placing one paw after the other onto the bed and feeling the almost cloud-like
texture of the mattress, he jumped onto the bed and laid down next to Levi. His
back toward Levi and his eyes settling on the door but if he moved his head, he
could see what was on the TV. He could hear his fingers pressing against the
keys once again, but it slowed down and then felt fingers running through his
fur. His body immediately relaxing, a purr slowly being coached out of his
body, his eyes quickly began to feel heavy and quickly started to succumb to
sleep.
When he woke up the next morning, he felt a heavy presence on his side and he
turned slightly to see that Levi was pressed up against him, an arm laying
across his body, sleeping. Eren had never felt this at peace, especially when
he woke up. He always had a split second scare that he was back in his white
room and it took him a moment to remember that he escaped, but he didn't have
that scare this time. Honestly, he couldn't even remember what or if he dreamed
last night either. He didn't see Petra bleeding out or his mother covered in
blood, haunting him with his past failures. Some part of him thought that it
was because of Levi that he didn't have those recurring nightmares, but he
shook his head. It may have been that his mind finally decided to give him a
break from its constant torment of the people that once cared for him.
That must be it.
He couldn't let himself think of Levi as this almost god-like person for taking
care of him, for treating him like his normal and for making his nightmares go
away. Every day that he stayed he came up with more reasons to not leave Levi
behind. The only thing that kept him from staying was Petra's plea before she
left him alone. Eren could only guess that she left him with specific
instructions because the lab coats would do anything to find him again and the
people she entrusted him with were the only ones to keep him safe. He had to
remind himself that he wasn't safe here and that meant that Levi wouldn't be
either if he kept staying here. He just didn't know if he had the strength to
leave when the time was right.
 
Levi announced during breakfast that he had to leave once again and promised
that they wouldn't get another unexpected visit from Hanji while he was gone.
After they both consumed their food, Levi didn't take anything with him this
time except a black jacket and threw it on over the rest of his black clothes.
His clothes made his cream skin paler, though not like he was sick, and if he
was in human form, Eren probably would have said that out loud like the idiot
he was. He also knew that if he was in his other form than the blush that he
felt over his skin would have been known to Levi instead of just himself.
Just because I think he looks nice doesn't mean anything.
Shaking his head to get rid of his previous thoughts, earning a raised eyebrow
from Levi and a small chuckle. Yeah, his face would have been fully red with
embarrassment if he was in his other form. Soon enough Levi left, promising not
to be gone for long and left the television on for him. After making sure that
he didn't hear his footsteps anymore, Eren moved into the bedroom and stood in
the middle of the room, taking a deep breath.
This morning thoughts kept circling his head. That he wasn't completely safe
with Levi, even if this was the only place he ever felt remotely anything like
that. He hadn't tried to shift in a while and even though he still didn't feel
complete and ready for it, he knew that he needed to try at least. Breathing
slowly and he tried to work up the courage to actually get the progress
started.
After a few deep breaths, he willed his muscles to start contracting and bones
to shape into something else.The familiar intense heat that came with shifting
at first filled his stomach and began to spread like wildfire, burning every
inch of his body. Soon enough the pain of everything constricting came in
waves, more intense than the previous ones. He looked down in time to see his
paws thinning out and extending out, the fur retracting into his skin. Before
he could fully see the scars that coated his fingers, a burst of pain smacked
him in the chest, making him double over and almost fall to the ground.
Whimpers started falling from his lips as his fingers transformed back into the
paws that he's becoming too familiar with.
Crap. Crap!
Pain continued to pulse through his frame, even after his body conformed back
fully to his animal form. How long was it going to take before his body would
let him change back...what if he wasn't able to go back? The panic started
setting before Eren could stop it but swallowed it down, even if it took a
couple of minutes.
He had to remind himself that his body needed time, time to heal and recover
not only from his recent escape but from everything that he's had to endure
over the years of torment. This was the only time he's ever been able to catch
his breath and not constantly living in fear if he was going to die the next
time he walked down the white hallway. He'd keep trying to shift but if he
couldn't, then oh well. He just hoped that he had enough time to gather his
strength before his haven was snatched from him.
 
When Levi arrived home, he had completely calmed himself and was laying on his
side of the couch. Immediately Eren realized that there was something different
about the man. His face, usually a faint smile crossing his face when he saw
him, was dark and overcast. The eyes that were full of liquid silver was dull
and hardened. However, it wasn't just his appearance, but his scent had the
hint of blood, something that made Eren's eyes scan all over his body.
Searching for the sources of the smell, even if it was faint. He spotted it
when Levi set his ring of keys on a tall, small table. Dark, dried blood
splattered Levi's knuckles, though it was only on one of his hands, from where
he sat, he could tell that it wasn't that bad. Levi seemed to notice at the
same time that he identified where he was bleeding because he cursed slightly
underneath his breath.
"I'll join you in a second," Levi sighed before heading off into his bedroom.
Eren didn't know what to do with himself, to either stay in the living room and
continue watching television or follow him into his bedroom. He didn't know
what he could do to help but he didn't just want to sit by and do nothing.
Jumping off of the couch, he walked into Levi's bedroom to hear water running
in one of the two rooms that split off inside of his bedroom. One Eren
discovered was a closet, full of his clothes and shoes, somewhere where Levi
refused to have him in. Saying that he'll tear apart his clothes because of his
catlike nature, though he hadn't had the urge to scratch and claw at things
yet.
Since he couldn't just barge into the room that Levi was currently in,
especially without the use of hands and fingers, he climbed onto the bed and
waited for him to come out. If he angled his head a certain way and looked out
the doorway of the bedroom, he could see half of the television, so at least he
was entertained until Levi emerged from the side room.
When Levi finally came out of the room, his hair was wet and wearing clothes
that he wasn't wearing before. They were something that he wore when it was
almost time to settle down for the night or when Levi didn't have any plans for
the day but relax. Eren immediately looked at his hand, seeing now that he
indeed had been bleeding but it was clean now and clotting. Levi noticed his
eye movement and raised his hand to further show him that he was fine.
"I'm okay, Eren," he explained, showing off his hand more. "Just messed it up a
bit at work."
He walked over to Eren and placed both of his hands on his fur, rubbing and
scratching his skin. The smell of blood was gone. Gone like it was never there
in the first place and the smell of herbs took over his senses, making a low
purr pulse through his throat.
"Now, come one. I had a long day at work and want to relax," he commented
before doing something he's never done before.
His arms went around Eren and suddenly he was hoisted over his shoulders, a
bark of protest and chirps coming out of his mouth. He'd never been picked up
before and his stomach dropped at the action, though he secretly enjoyed it. He
would never tell Levi though, that he enjoyed being in his arms and being
touched by him. Though he would never be able to in this form so he indeed
never planned on telling him.
"Yeah, yeah," Levi teased it. "You're just a big ol' puddy cat."
Ignoring the foreign feelings that began to bloom in his chest, he didn't fight
as Levi carried him into the living to beginning another one of their lazy
days.
 
When he woke up in Levi's arms and surrounded by the black blanket that was
thrown over him in the middle of the night, he realized that he once again
didn't have any nightmares. No Petra or mother. Besides feel refreshed after
not being shocked awake by his dreams, the weight of Levi on his side was
reassuring and reminded him that he wasn't alone at the moment. Though when he
shifted slightly, he felt Levi move too and ended up moving away from him, a
growl of protest almost moving past his lips. He swallowed down the growl and
turned over to see that Levi was sitting up, rubbing his eyes and then ran a
hand through his onyx hair. Some pieces of his usually combed and neat hair was
sticking up, especially in the back of his head, making him look younger. It
helped that he didn't have the frown that usually etched his face when he was
thinking or focused on a task.
"Morning," he muttered to him, before flopping back on the bed but only after
he grabbed his phone.
It was his morning of routine to grab his phone and check things like emails
and any messages that he'd missed during the night. Though from what Eren could
tell, Levi didn't sleep either that well or almost not at all. The dark circles
seemed darker some days or barely lighter, but he hadn't seen Levi without them
at all. He wasn't sure if they could disappear quickly or it was more like a
bruise that took days to recover, though they didn't turn yellow or a sickly
green color. They just stayed dark. As he looked at Levi's face, his grey eyes
flickering across the screen and the wrinkles in his forehead returning every
once in a while, probably depending on what exactly he was reading.
Eren wished that he was in his other form. The sudden need to reach across the
distance between them and press his fingertips against Levi's face, to feel how
different the bags were from the rest of his face and wondering how the stubble
that only appeared in mornings every once in a while and disappeared once he
entered a room in his bedroom. He wondered if Levi's hair felt as silky as it
looked or if his plump, pink lips were soft too.
What would they feel like pressed against-
Before he could finish the insane thought he was about to have, he sat up
quickly off the bed and headed off to the kitchen. He had seen out of the
corner of his eye Levi looking at him with a raised eyebrow, probably silently
asking him what the hell was wrong with him...and he was asking himself the
same question and completely ignored the man. Sitting in front of the machine
that Levi took most of their food out of, something he called the fridge and
pressed his burning up face against the cool metal. His whole body felt flush
with embarrassment and he was disgusted with himself. He's never thought of
anything like that before, of kissing another person. He wished that he could
completely shut the idea behind a closed door and throw away the key.
When did I start caring so much for Levi?
He blamed the new influence of the shows that he watched with Levi. People
kissing and things that Levi tried to explain but he still didn’t understand.
It had to be the reason why he was suddenly thinking of doing those things with
him.
He couldn't pinpoint the time when he started to care for Levi and just felt
that it just gradually came to that, though it had only been almost eight days
since he's been here.
Eight days? No, that doesn't sound right. Maybe it's been seven...
It didn’t matter if it was eight days or twenty, in such a short amount of time
he's accepted someone into his life and already trusted them so fiercely when
it took such a large amount of time to even say hello to Petra. To even show
any interest in getting to know her. He wanted nothing more than to learn
everything he could about Levi and he honestly didn't know what that meant what
his relationship with Levi even was becoming.
 
"Its cleaning day again," Levi announced as he ended the living room.
He walked into the living room wearing another set of his loose clothes and a
black piece of cloth was tidied around his forehead. His black bangs that
usually hung in front of his forehead were now pushed back by the cloth so they
blended in with the rest of his hair.
Eren had been sitting on the couch ever since breakfast, waiting for Levi to
join since he didn't mention work or having to go out. In his hand was a bucket
full of colorful spray bottles, rags, and other cleaning utensils.
"You can come with me," he teased, probably referring back to how last time
that he started cleaning, Eren was attached to his hip and won't stray too far
away from him.
He could feel a flush of embarrassment taking over his face and thanked for the
coverage of fur, knowing that he would further be teased if Levi knew. He tried
to not notice the increased amount of times he’s been blushing lately, most of
the time with embarrassment, though it didn’t make him feel any better with
that fact. Levi turned the TV off and instead opened the doors of the cabinet
to reveal a large black box. Pressing a button and he starting to mess with a
knob, music began to pour through the apartment. The music was soft, guitar
chords playing lightly while a beat was almost loud enough for Eren to feel it
in his chest, though he didn’t know if that was because of his new sensitivity
to noise. The singer's voice was deep as it emerged from the speakers and he
listened half-heartedly as he focused his eyes on Levi as he began to clean up
in the living room.
Eren decided to stay on the couch, at least until Levi moved into another room.
He told himself that it was going to follow him around to see the other three
rooms that he hadn't seen yet, but knew inside that it wasn't the case.
While he waited, he heard another voice join the male singer, but it wasn't
until Levi turned around to grab another spray bottle that he realized that he
was singing along. His voice was much deeper than the actual singer's and had a
gravelly tone. He actually preferred his voice than the one coming out of the
speakers.
"-Cause I've seen enough of it, heard enough of it, felt enough of it. I've had
enough of it. I am so frickin' bored, nothing to do today, I guess I'll sit
around and medicate... I am so frickin' bored-" he sung softly, almost under
his breath but stopped abruptly when he turned around and saw Eren watching
him.
His cheeks actually became dusted with a bit of color, like he was embarrassed
that he was caught singing, and Eren hated immediately that he thought it was
cute.
"Yeah, I know I'm not that great but you don't have to look at me like that,"
he joked as he went back to cleaning, shutting his mouth.
He wanted to tell him that it was the opposite of what he thought. If he could
actually talk, he would encourage him to keep singing. That he actually
preferred his voice to the singers but he could do nothing but sit there and
wait for Levi to get done cleaning the room. He didn't sing anymore to Eren's
disappointment.
 
He discovered eventually what were the other three rooms in the apartment. One
was another bedroom that Levi said was almost never used except for the rare
event that Hanji needed a place to stay. The second room was a bathroom, which
was what the mysterious room that Levi went into every once a while, and like
the bedroom, was almost never used. Finally, the last room was what Levi called
his study. Shelves lined every wall and were covered completely in different
colored book spines. Eren's eyes widened at the sight of the many books and
wondered if he could remember ever seeing so many in one place before. The only
interaction with books were the ones that Petra brought and they were children
books when she tried to reteach him how to read. He had grasped most of it but
still every once in a while didn't understand certain words or meanings behind
some phrases. Pushing the memories of Petra, he focused on exploring this new
room.
Levi was dusting the shelves individually, taking books out and deep cleaning
the dark wood before making sure that there also wasn’t dust on the books and
placing them back in their designated spots. He was sure that the shelves
looked almost spotless, but Levi probably had a need to make everything
perfectly clean so there was never a hint of dust ever being there. Eren found
himself taking in the many books, recognizing some words that were printed on
their spine but most of them were foreign. The itch to figure them out ate at
him but he couldn’t ask Levi what everything was. Even if he somehow
communicated to him get his attention and try to point out the jumble of
letters, he wasn’t sure if Levi would understand what he meant. Also, he didn’t
want to interrupt his cleaning ritual.
The whole room left like it didn’t belong to the rest of the apartment. The
room was full of sunlight that drifted in from the large window behind Levi’s
wooden desk. Below the window were cushions and an abundance of pillows and
seemed like the perfect place for him to lounge while he waited for Levi to be
done with the room.
Before he climbed onto the plush cushions, he suddenly got hit with Levi’s
scent as he passed by the desk and paused immediately. Finding that his line of
sight barely let him see the top of the desk, he swept his eyes across the flat
surface to find the object that was laced with his scent. A black, antique
looking lamp greeted him first, then he came across a cup full of pens and
pencils, something that he tucked into the back of his head, and finally, a
worn, leather book sat in the middle of the desk. He breathed in then to tell
himself that the book was where Levi’s scent was coming from.
Glancing over at Levi to see that he was still busying himself with cleaning
shelves and books, he placed his front paws on the desk and was pleased to find
that it was sturdy enough to hold his weight. Cursing the fact that he didn’t
have hands, he used the tip of his nose to try and turn the book so the spine
of it faced him. If the book smelled so much like Levi, then it had to be
something of value to him and he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to know
what it was. He was so concentrated on getting it turned that he didn’t seem to
notice how close it was getting to the edge of the desk and the lamp. His head
bumped into the lamp, making him jump at the sudden feeling of something
touching him, sending the book and the lamp crashing down to the ground. He
closed his eyes at the noise, hoping that nothing broke and he didn’t have to
look at Levi to know that he definitely heard the noise of something crashing
to the ground.
“Eren!” Levi snapped his name.
Opening his eyes, he saw Levi dropping everything in his hands and running
toward the mess he just created.
“What did you do?” he demanded.
Eren got his front paws off the table and rounded around the desk, trying to
figure out a way to fix what he’s done. He’d never heard seen Levi this angry,
at least not at him. He only directed it at Hanji from what he heard when she
was here and didn’t understand how she could joke in his face after having this
anger towards her. Doing the only thing he can think of, he tried using his paw
to stand the lamp back up, letting out a breath of relief when he saw that the
bulb wasn’t broken. When that didn’t work, he tried using his mouth and hoped
that he didn’t puncture the cloth.
“Eren, stop,” he snapped once again. “You’ve done enough.”
Taking a step back, his ears flattened against his head and he lowered his head
instinctively, trying to show that he was sorry but Levi’s attention wasn’t on
him. He had the worn out book in his hands, flipping it around, flickering
through the pages, and seemed to be making sure that nothing was wrong it. He
wasn’t paying any mind to the lamp that Eren was more concerned smashing on the
floor. Once he seemed to see that the book was fine, his cold eyes turned to
him and Eren actually flinched at the look, taking a step back and further
lowering his head.
A hole started eating away at his chest, guilt consuming him now that he
understood that he could have damaged something that had to be important to
Levi. Eren desperately wanted to see the gentle warmth that he always received
from him and not this chilling stare that turned his eyes into steel. He didn’t
know that it was possible for this side of him to shed tears, but he could feel
his eyes beginning to water and his vision slightly blurring. Cursing himself,
he wanted to shove them back in, to not cry because he did something wrong and
Levi got mad at him. He shouldn’t feel this guilty, he shouldn’t let Levi has
this much control over his feelings, but he couldn’t stop the tears.
Though the look that he received only lasted for less than a few seconds, it
felt like it dragged on for hours before Levi’s eyes finally softened. He felt
his eyes taking in his body and the few trails of tears that managed to escape
before he could wipe his face against his shoulder. He placed the book on the
ground next to him and reached out toward him. Eren hated his body at that
moment because it flinched away from Levi’s hand, his body recognizing the
distress that plagued his body frequently when he was back in his old room.
“Eren,” Levi called him softly, moving his hand slower this time.
His eyes instinctively closed, even though he knew that this hand belonged to
Levi and not his guards. That he wasn’t going to get smacked across his cheek
because Levi wasn’t his guards. He felt the gentle pressed of his hand
caressing the side of his face and then the same thing happened on the other
side before his head was tilted down slightly. When his eyes opened, Levi’s
face was starting to be pressed against the top of his head, his forehead now
pressing against where his would be.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, using his thumb to wipe the wet fur underneath his
eyes. “I overreacted, I’m sorry that I scared you...I promise that I won’t get
mad at you again.”
Eren then felt his body begin to tremble but not because he was afraid, he’s
never been afraid of Levi, not after he learned who he was. Relief hit him like
a tidal wave and the weight of the promise seeped into him, that this one
person would never hurt him intentionally and he ignored completely the side of
him that screamed that this was still temporary. That he would leave this
amazing and beautiful man in front of him, disappear from his life completely
so the both of them could be safe from himself.
He always had to look into his future. Looking forward to the next meal, the
next time he opened his eyes, the next time he would be able to feel the sun on
his skin, and never had a reason to live in the moment. He decided then to live
in the moment, even if it was only for a few more days, or at least until the
side he was ignoring reared its head back and told him how selfish he was
acting.
He couldn’t stop the tears now flowing down his face, his breath coming out in
gurgled gasps and knew that he was sobbing. Levi pressed his face against his
shoulder and pulled his body onto his lap, rubbing circles and patterns on his
back, trying to help him calm down.
Realizing that he hadn’t cried since Petra climbed back over the fence, to
sacrifice her life for his, everything that kept piling on top of his shoulders
suddenly came crashing down. He started to cry for everything; for the man’s
life he took, for the bloodbath he created in those white hallways, for the
countless lives he ruined because of who died in the crossfire, and for the man
holding him. The man that didn’t know how much blood stained his hands but
still held and treated him like he deserved this kindness.
“What have you done to me?” he barely heard Levi muttering to himself.
I could ask the same thing.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you guys for coming back to read! There's only one more chapter
     of cat Eren so it'll be fun to close that chapter and see what
     happens next!
It took an embarrassing amount of time before Eren managed to calm himself down
and by the time the tears had subsided, Levi had moved them to the cushions
underneath the large window. He had been picked up like before and he tried
wrapping his arms around Levi’s neck but realized that it was almost impossible
in this form. His head had ended up in his lap, his fingers rubbing his head
where Eren could feel a headache beginning to form and the faintest of a
content purr emerging from his throat. The music was still carrying throughout
the apartment and he had lost count of the number of times the songs switched
over to another. He had buried his face into Levi’s leg, wiping his tear-
stained fur against the soft fabric and had wrapped his tail around himself.
Levi’s hand would move from his head and curl his fingers around it, making it
wrap around his fingers and further sending Eren’s body into a relaxed state.
“Did you calm down?” Levi asked, once again stroking where his headache was
beginning to pound slightly.
He hadn't cried that hard since he first found out about his shifting
abilities, how he had never been truly human. He’d forgotten how painful crying
was, especially when he realized that he hadn't been drinking as much water as
he should. Nodding, Eren shifted so he was on his side but kept his head on
Levi’s lap.
“I wanted to say sorry again for the way I reacted...just that book is very
important to me and it's the only thing that I have from when I was growing
up,” Levi explained as he slowly maneuvered his head so he could get up.
He stood up, stretched his arms slightly before grabbing the leather bound book
that Eren still felt guilty about knocking over. As it opened, he could hear
the spine creaking slightly and saw that the pages were stained yellow with
age. He could see that the printed ink was beginning to fade but Eren guessed
that that part wasn't the reason why the book was cherished by Levi. Blue and
black handwritten ink was etched into the margins of the pages. As he flipped
through more pages, Eren could see that the writing filled most of the
available blank space and didn't leave much room for anything else.
He sat back down and Eren got up so he could clearly see the book in Levi’s
hands. Flipping through the pages once again, he closed the book suddenly and
then let out a deep breath.
“It's probably stupid to still be holding onto a children’s book...I should
have gotten rid of it a long time ago,” Levi commented, talking to himself
probably more than anything else.
A protest of chirps came rolling off of Eren’s tongue and he wished to some
invisible force that he could at least talk in this form. He wanted to tell him
that he wished that he had something from his childhood, even if it seemed as
stupid as a children’s book. That it'd still be important to him no matter if
he threw it away or not and he would regret the action, especially if there was
no way of getting back. Once those memories were gone, they were gone forever.
Levi raised an eyebrow at his sudden vocalization and waited for the grunts and
chirps to stop vomiting out of his mouth.
“You just yelled at me, didn’t you,” he chuckled slightly.
Not appreciating being made fun of, Eren headbutted his shoulder and growled
slightly. Though it just made another laugh roll out of Levi before his
attention was brought back to the little book. Opening it to the front cover,
more handwritten penwork was revealed but unlike the other cramped in the
margins of most of the pages, it was neat and elegant. From the fading and
smudging that he could see, he could guess that it was the first thing that had
ever written into the book. The black ink was thick and though it looked like
the same handwriting that was throughout the rest of it, this entry was created
with more care than the others. He couldn’t read much of what was written, much
of it barely eligible and faded into the yellowed paper, but Levi seemed to
have no problem reading it. Much of it was probably already committed to his
memory. Most of the words he could see, he understood and quickly realized that
the entries that covered all of the pages were from Levi’s mother. The next
page over was text from the actual book and Eren couldn’t put together what the
letters could possibly mean.
“It’s French,” Levi suddenly spoke, seeming to reading his mind. “It’s my
mother’s fairy tale book that she’s had since she was little.”
Turning his eyes to Levi’s face, he caught of glimpse of a somber sadness
before it was taken over by a blank stare like he was trying to hide his
emotions behind a wall. He headbutted his shoulder once again but lighter, and
kept it there, turning slightly so he could look at the book still open in
Levi’s hands. Letting go of the book briefly with his right hand, he moved it
to Eren’s head, scratching his ears before returning back to the book.
“She died when I was very young and I don’t have many memories of her, just of
her reading to me at night. She’d read to me in French and then explain what
she just said, even writing the translation on the side of the pages,” he
continued.
He then connected all of the writing throughout the book was indeed the
translations of the fairy tales as Levi flipped through it once again. Making
out some of the written text, the sentences and character’s names itched at his
memory, like he should know who they are.
He wanted to tell him that he could understand some of Levi’s pain. That his
mother also died when he was younger, though he barely remembered anything
about her and couldn’t picture her doing anything other than screaming at him
for his failure to run away. He wasn’t even sure if the voice that yelled and
screamed was actually his mother’s or not...he couldn’t remember anything about
her.
Levi kept flipping through the pages, seeming to almost be in his own world,
reminiscing about something in the past that made the sorrow creep back into
his silver eyes. His eyes kept moving from Levi’s face to the book, going back
and forth, wishing that he could do something before he shook his head
slightly, wondering why he was concerning himself with his feelings. He heard
the pages stop turning and tore his eyes away from Levi’s to find that he
stopped to find an old, aged photo had been stuck between two pages.
“I thought I lost this,” he muttered to himself, grabbing the photo before
closing the book.
Eren looked over his shoulder to take in the four figures in the darkened
yellow photo. He could immediately pick out which one was Levi, something that
he found some pride in sadly, and thought how cute he looked. It was definitely
when he was younger, possibly six or seven, his black hair was a mess and eyes
were full of laughter. Everyone that was in the photo had full smiles, though
only one seemed to be forced, something that he’s been able to quickly pick up
on. The only adult in the photo was, without a question, Levi’s mother. They
were almost photocopies of each other just her onyx hair reached her hip, the
opposite of where Levi was currently sitting on. Her white skin was almost
alarming compared to her child’s. He also realized that with age, Levi looked
more like her than he did when he was younger if that was even possible.
The two other children in the photo looked around the same age as Levi. A girl
with vibrant green eyes and dirty auburn hair, that was tied into ponytails had
her arm wrapped around another boy. He seemed like he was annoyed by the action
but still had a smile on his face, his gray eyes full of love as they were
forever settled onto the girl. His startling blonde bangs hung between his
eyes, a small hand reaching up to them, either to fix them or move them to the
side.
“I thought that I lost it on the street...Furlan must have found it and put it
in here,” Levi continued, speaking more to himself than anything else.
He looked over at Eren in time to see his equivalent of raising his eyebrows in
question. He hated how much he wanted to know more about this still mysterious
man in front of him. How he craved every detail that was being freely given to
him so far and was almost salivating to know more about the people in the
photo. To know anything about his childhood.
“My mom had me out of wedlock, something her family shunned her for like the
old traditional sons of bitches that they are, and we mostly lived off the
street. She did odd jobs to keep us fed and somewhat safe, but eventually got
sick and we didn’t have the money to get her help...that’s when I met Furlan
and Isabel,” he started explaining and Eren hung onto every little detail that
was given to him. “They, like us, lived on the street, picking pockets to stay
alive and almost got me killed. Isabel had been too reckless and stole more
than she could handle, making them flee the scene and running right into me.
Even though I had never seen them before in my life, I had no way of proving
that I wasn’t involved in their scheme. The mobster that they managed to steal
from could have easily killed us. Children dying in the streets wasn’t an
uncommon thing, even today it’s not, but he decided to break one of our fingers
instead. Being the idiot child that I was, I offered up the finger.”
Levi held up his right hand at that moment, showing Eren his fingers and moving
his middle one slightly. Never noticing before that the movement was off,
instead of it going up and down, it slightly turned to the right when it went
down.
“My mom was terrifying when I got home, Furlan and Isabel in tow. Once she saw
my broken finger, she was livid but stopped once she realized who was behind
me. It was almost comical how she turned from a mother bear to dotting mother
within seconds. Even when she could barely stand on her feet, she was a force
to reckon with.”
A small smile crossed his lips in a memory but it was short-lived, leaving with
Eren the want for it to come back.
“From then on, they were apart of the family... even when mom died a few weeks
later…,” Levi drifted off.
Eren, trying to show comfort in some way, nestled his head against Levi’s neck.
He seemed to appreciate it to some extent because he didn’t push him away or
tell him to stop. Being so close to his neck, he couldn’t bring himself to stop
from taking a deep breath and inhaling the man’s scent.
“It’s been a long time since it happened, Eren, I’ve gone through the
motions...I’m fine now,” he explained. He knew that Levi would never be over
the death of his mother, the same way he knew that he would never be over the
death of his own either. Knowing that her death will always be on his hands,
that he’ll never be able to wash away her blood even if others continue to
bloody it further.
“Anyways, someone that was good friends with my mom made sure that the three of
us at least had an education. He was a former teacher and wouldn’t have been
able to take us in, so it was the least that he could do. We lived on the
street, picking pockets and selling whatever we could find to turn a profit,
and managed to live pretty well off for some snot-nosed brats,” he continued
his story. “When we were about twelve...maybe thirteen...honestly I don’t
remember, but we were doing our weekly pickpocketing routine. Isabel was the
quickest on her feet, could spin a believable story within moments and could
captivate anyone with her storytelling. She served as the distraction as Furlan
and I picked the pockets of the men and women that were too captivated by her.”
Levi let out a sudden deep breath like it was getting difficult to talk more
and more about his past. Eren wished to tell him that he didn’t have to
continue, but he continued anyway.
“We managed to grab gold watches, a few bucks in cash and change, and a silver
pocket watch that looked like it could be pawned for a month of rent of our
one-room apartment. However, we didn’t get far though. The man that we stole
the pocket watch from was the now-former head of the Recon Corp, Keith Shadis,
the branch of government that I now work for. We managed to sneak away with our
loot but they tracked us down to our apartment the following day. He could have
snapped his fingers, made the men that surrounded us in our place gun us down
or take us down to the Military and have us publicly executed for stealing from
a government leader, but he offered something else. He offered us a way out of
the slums. Furlan and I understood what it meant, that even though we’d be free
from the slums and stealing, that we’d have another set of shackles on our
wrists. We’d committed to many crimes; of stealing, fraud, and more, and the
law didn’t care if the ones who committed the crimes were children or not.
Every man, woman, and child were equal when facing judgment and the number of
crimes stacked upon them would have sent them to execution tenfold,” he
confessed. “Isabel was just happy to not sleep in the same small bed with two
other bodies. That was mostly how I signed my life away to the Recon, becoming
it’s lap dog and errand boy until I drop...Though Erwin, my boss, says that I
could quit at any time and just leave...I owe too much of my life to Shadis and
even though he’s gone too, I’ll never be able to repay my debt to him.”
As he finished his tale, Levi stood up and placed the photo face down on his
wooden desk, like he was avoiding the eyes staring at him. Eren’s eyes followed
him as he grabbed the leather bound book that was laying next to where he was
sitting previously, opening up to the back and placed the turned down photo
there. Closing it with a snap, he turned toward Eren, a somber look still
plaguing his face though he was trying to hide it with his small smile.
“Now don’t go blabbing my past to everyone that you can find, Hanji and Erwin
don’t even know about it though they can put some pieces together...you’re the
only one that knows so keep it a secret, will ya?” Levi asked of him.
He knew that Levi was trying to make light of the situation, though if he was
serious about this being the only time he’s ever told anyone about his past,
then he knew that it must have been hard on him. Though Petra had told him that
it was easier saying personal things to a stranger than someone that’s close,
especially if they were important to you. It possibly helped him more that Eren
couldn’t respond back to him and try to give him words of comfort that would
have just made him feel worse than better. Also, there was no possible way of
him blurting out something dark and personal about the man to people he doesn’t
want them knowing. At least not in this form.
At that very moment he made a promise to himself, to Levi, that when he left,
he wouldn’t mutter anything about the man in front of him or anything that was
just told to him. He would take everything that Levi trusted him with to his
grave.
 
Levi could feel the headache beginning that was going to plague his day once he
heard the two short vibrations of his phone going off on his bedside table.
Everyone in the Recon knew not to bother him before seven until it was an
emergency, which only included if it was a life or death situation that had to
deal with him personally. Erwin was the only one available to contact him no
matter the time or day, mostly he was his fucking boss and didn’t give to shits
if he actually managed to get some form of sleep throughout of the night or
not.
Opening his tired eyes, they fell upon Eren’s large sleeping form next to him.
He was surprised when Eren suddenly wanted to sleep in the bed with him, though
he offered every night since he first woke up. He could see how nervous the cat
was, like he was ready to kick him out even though he had offered the space
every night, and thought it adorable that he waited to see if it was alright.
Though his fur did shed, it was easy to clean up and he surprised himself with
how much he didn’t freak out and feel the need to wash the covers of his bed.
The spot where they shaved his white belly had begun to grow back but still was
noticeably lacking hair and he absently started to stroke the shorter fur there
at that moment. He could still feel the sharp ribs that emerged from the cat’s
skin, though he had noticeably gained some weight over the week. Even if he
mostly ate chicken and a few other vegetables that Hanji suggested, though she
didn’t even know if it was completely safe for him to it. They didn’t know his
limits on food and what his stomach could or couldn’t handle so they went with
more of the feline diet.
Looking at the sleeping cat, Levi recalled what happened the previous day. His
snapping at Eren and seeing the most heartbreaking emotions passing through his
face, trying to make up for what he’s done. He didn’t know that Eren could cry
and it ate away at him knowing that he was the cause of the tears that stained
his caramel and chocolate fur. He’s never felt guilty for making someone burst
into tears since it mostly had to do with him trying to burn and cut
information out of them. He had felt discomfort once at hearing that he fucked
up with Hanji, saying that he couldn’t give two flying fucks about what
experiments she was conducting at the time. Erwin had always been on his ass
about giving some form of approval and understanding toward their men and that
also included Hanji. Now when she came to him with new findings, he at least
confessed to her that he’ll listen though he couldn’t promise that he would
retain everything she ranted about.
After seeing Eren bawl his eyes out, he felt like the only thing he could do to
make it better by explaining the importance of the book, something he’s never
told anyone about before. Furlan and Isabel were the only ones to truly know
about his past and that was because they were there, and with Hanji and Erwin,
he’s only let details slip once in a while but they can gather most of the
details themselves. Erwin was the one that trained him, that dealt with his
stubbornness of being forced into submission, and most of his anger of being
caught and thrown into another life was put toward him during their training.
Of course, he never let that anger show, only once when a trainee pushed him
too far. They had taunted him while training with Erwin, trying to get a rise
out of him and it worked when they mentioned his mother. Calling her a whore
and a waste of breath, and he ended up snapping the boy’s arm before Erwin
could pry him off. That was when Erwin learned of the death of his mother.
Hanji constantly reminded him that talking about the past would help, though he
never believed half the bullshit that escaped from her mouth...not until he
spilled his guts to Eren. He’d never just sat down and said what still plagued
his life, how he still had nightmares about waking up and seeing his mother’s
decaying body laying next to him. He still dreams about the deals and
pickpocketing that went bad, how Furlan and him would do anything to get them
out of the situation, especially if they managed to grab Isabel before Levi or
Furlan could make her go behind them.
Erwin and Hanji always suggested that he should go to therapy, that mercilessly
killing would also have an effect on his psyche. Though he already knew what
was wrong with him, that he developed some form of Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder from his childhood. Needing everything in his home to be cleaned
regularly and if something was off kilter or dirt somehow managed to get into
his apartment, the itch to clean would scratch and claw at him until he cleaned
the whole apartment once again. He sometimes had a manage on it, especially
when other people where in the vicinity but it could get out of hand. He didn’t
need to pay almost five hundred dollars a session to know that there was
something wrong with him, even if Erwin said that the Recon could pay for it.
It honestly surprised him to see the photo of the four of them together, weeks
before mom succumbed to her illness. She managed to save enough money to rent a
small camera and wanted to take a photo of all of them together. She may have
already known at that time that she wasn’t going to last long and wanted to
give Levi something to remember her besides the book. The photo and book were
both placed in the top drawer of his dresser, feeling the need to have her
closer recently.
Grabbing a hold of Eren’s middle, he pulled the light cat closer to him,
snuggling his face into the soft and warm fur before sighing and pulling
himself away. It still surprised him with every passing day how much he’s grown
attached to him. Of course, it was easier to grow attached to something that
literally depended on you for food and water, and didn’t talk back, though that
mostly came out in chirps or soft growls. Levi had always had the talent of
being able to read any emotion off of people’s faces, though it surprised him
once again with how many of Eren’s emotions sat on his shoulder. He was an open
book and his bright, almost fluorescent green eyes told him exactly what he
thought.
Grabbing his phone, that buzzed once again, off of his bedside table and
finding that he had a couple of emails, that he was going to ignore for now,
and three text messages from Erwin.
 
Sudden meeting today dealing with the relationship between Recon and Garrison.
 
Levi, I know that you’re not sleeping. You never sleep.
 
The meeting is at 11.
 
Rolling his eyes, he placed the phone back down and laid against Eren again. He
was surprised that Eren didn’t wake up when he started moving around on the
bed. He was just like Levi when it came to waking up suddenly if there was
movement on the mattress or a noise comes from within the apartment. Though, it
was more of his training and living on the streets that gave him this ability.
He didn’t want to imagine what Eren went through where he couldn’t get a full
night's rest if the downstairs neighbor decided to be a dick and cause
unnecessary noise.
Ever since Eren had joined him on the bed, he’s been able to actually get more
than four hours of sleep a night and he slept longer too.
I should have gotten a pet a while ago.
If he’d known that an animal had this much of a soothing effect on him, that
he’d actually be able to sleep without waking up every half an hour, he would
have gotten one a long time ago. Though he liked to think that it was because
it was Eren that was making him this way, not because it was just another warm
body in his bed.
He laid in bed for a bit longer, letting Eren catch some more time to sleep and
running his finger through his fur, earning himself a purr that slowly grew
over time. It brought a small smile to his usually stoic lips. He’s been
catching himself actually smiling before, something that has been foreign to
him since Furlan and Isabel walked out of his life almost five years ago. He
knew that its return was because of the creature next to him.
When it was growing close to nine, Levi decided that it was enough lounging in
bed for the moment and started to shake him slightly. It was enough to start
rousing him out of sleep though when he stopped, his body relaxed once again,
dragging him back to sleep. He leaned over Eren’s body and poked at his wet
nose, making his face scrunch up in a kind of adorable way.
“Eren,” Levi whispered his name. “It’s time to get up.”
The cat groaned then, almost saying ‘five more minutes’ before he tucked
himself deeper into the mattress and closer to Levi’s body. He moved off the
bed at that moment, Eren once against groaning and then growling softly. Levi
moved around the bed to Eren’s side to see the gorgeous emerald eyes opening up
for him. The desire to fall back to bed, most likely with him still in it, was
plastered across his face and he huffed once he noticed that Levi was out of
bed already.
“I’m going to make breakfast, if you want any, I would suggest getting up,” he
commented before heading out to the kitchen.
Before he could get two feet out of his bedroom door, Eren already sprung from
the bed and was at his heels, stomach growling for food. Reaching down to pet
his head, he wondered what he would make them.
 
When Levi had to tell Eren that he wasn’t going to be home all day once again,
he was actually greeted with a whine and then a cough, like he was surprised to
make that noise. He could see an inner conflict reflecting in the cat’s eyes
and he couldn’t think of what he was having such a problem over but chose to
put it in the back of his mind as he arrived at Wings of Freedom. He just hoped
that the meeting wouldn’t take too long, especially when he promised Eren that
he wouldn’t be gone for less than three hours and then they can watch
television or whatever else he wants. He’s never watched this amount of
television within such a short time with Eren. Usually, if he sat all day on
his ass and did nothing, he would feel disgusting and have the need to at least
clean or work out but not this time. He actually enjoyed seeing Eren’s reaction
to everything that played out on the screen. Whenever his ears would flatten
and head tilted the slightest, he could tell that he was confused by something
they said or what exactly happened on the screen. Levi would explain whatever
he needed to help him and at first, he thought he would eventually get annoyed
by it but found that it was entertaining at the least. He had the most
difficulty when it came to anything that was remotely fiction or sci-fi, though
he warned him before the show came on that it wasn’t real life every time. He
seemed to enjoy those shows the most.
Once again ignoring everyone that tried to greet him or just walked toward him,
he headed to the elevator this time instead of the stairs and went to the top
floor where all their business meetings took place. Thankfully no one was in
the elevator and no one needed it while he was transported to the fifth floor.
Exiting the death trap, he was greeted by windowed walls that displayed the
three different meeting rooms that they had. They all were attached to the
casino, each given a view into the floor where civilians were throwing away
money like their lives depended on it.
He didn’t see Erwin or anyone else in the first two meetings, the ones that
they always used for meetings that had to do with the Recon themselves. That
was when he started to get suspicious when he spotted Erwin sitting by himself
in the last room. He wore his usual work outfit, white buttoned up with black
slacks, and his blonde hair was slicked back. Once he saw Levi through the
glass wall, he just moved his head to signal him to enter the room. Before he
even entered the room and Erwin gesturing for him to take a seat, he knew that
there was no meeting. So why was he lied to?
“Good morning, Levi,” Erwin greeted him as he sat across from him.
“Where’s this oh so important meeting? Or was it just a rouse?” Levi questioned
him, already knowing the answer.
“If I had said that I needed to talk to you, would you have come?”
“Depending on if you made it an order or not.”
The comment made a line form in Erwin’s forehead appear and a sigh leaving him
before he reached up to rub at the line. “I don’t order you unless you’re being
difficult, which is sadly most of the time.”
“I’m not that bad.”
He couldn’t finish the sentence without breaking into a sly smile. He couldn’t
help but still give some hell to Erwin when he could, he was the closest thing
to a friend that he had.
“So what was so important that you had to fake a meeting for me to come out of
my hole?” Levi asking, wanting to know why he had to leave Eren all by himself,
especially when he was still afraid of his own shadow.
“Can’t we sit and talk like the two old friends that we are?” Erwin chuckled
slightly.
“You’re always business, Erwin, even when you’re off the clock.”
They both knew what he was referencing, though they both agreed to lay that
side of their past to bed, especially when Levi only stayed in that kind of
relationship with him for the sex. He’d never tell Erwin or anyone else for
that matter that when Erwin started lusting for him, he entered it as a
repayment for making him his right-hand man. If he did find out, then Erwin
never said anything about it or was completely blind to the lust that
eventually turned into something more. Levi had enjoyed the meaningless sex,
something to keep his mind off of the numerous people he’s had to kill and
everything else that he went home with, but once Erwin wished for something
more for him, he actually got frightened. He didn’t want to go anywhere with
the relationship and even when Erwin hadn’t brought up his recent change of
feelings, he could tell that something was off. More lingered kisses that
happened outside of the intimacy of being pounded on Erwin’s desk or against
the wall, and soft touches when they passed by each other. Levi could see Erwin
falling for him when he couldn’t see it himself and had been selfish knowing
that he had a few more mind-blowing sex before Erwin admitted to himself about
the growing feelings.
When Erwin brought up the possibility of bringing the relationship to something
other than sex, Levi quickly interrupted him by saying that they would never be
able to get to that point. He himself didn’t know if he could feel anything
like what Erwin began to feel toward him. He cared about a handful of people,
even Hanji and Erwin made that list but it was nothing like the emotion that he
must have felt for Levi. He’d murder someone if they laid a hand on them,
especially if they got hurt, and maybe that was the extent of what his ‘love’
was, but it was all he had. He played with the thought that he couldn’t let
himself feel those emotions because the people that felt even remotely close to
‘love’ was either dead or betrayed him. He didn’t have the greatest track
record with that emotion.
After they ended that affair, Erwin found someone that would run at the mention
of feelings other than lust, Mike. Apparently, Mike had a long time crush on
him, going almost all the way back to their childhood together and being the
good friend that Levi was, told him to hop on that dick before it got away
again. That was almost over two years ago and they were still going at it like
rabbits, resulting in Levi walking into Erwin’s office to see more than he ever
wanted to.
“How’s Mike by the way?” Levi teased.
“He should still be passed out at home,” Erwin answered seriously, though Levi
could see mischief in his pale blue eyes. “Now, I know that you probably want
to go home to your new pet so we can get down to why I faked a meeting for you
to come down.”
Levi leaned back into his seat, his recently cleaned nails drummed against the
white, slick table, waiting for Erwin to continue.
“A couple of days ago, the King announced that he’s traveling to Maria the day
after tomorrow and holding a small party-” Erwin began.
“So I can guess that a hundred or so people are coming?” Levi poked in since
nothing was ever small about the King.
“You’re required to join, especially as my right hand. I can’t always make
excuses for your absence and saying that you’re taking a long shit doesn’t fly
with the King and his advisors.”
Rolling his eyes, he realized that there was no escaping from the event. He
hated attending any of the social parties that the King or anyone else invited
the Recon too. If Erwin was invited, he had to go as his right hand and
bodyguard. He’s only managed to get out of events only a handful of times, but
they knew that Pixis was going and Nile, the head of the Military branch. Their
temporary treaty was still in affected with Pixis but was currently up in the
air with the recent attacks that possibly came from them. He couldn’t sit this
one out.
“I know that you would rather sit at home and drink tea, but this could be a
way to confront Pixis and see if he’s truly behind the attacks or not...maybe
Furlan will be there,” Erwin stated.
Levi’s eyes hardened and narrowed at him when he spoke Furlan’s name. He hated
that Erwin knew his soft spot for his childhood friends and from the emotional
outpour that occurred yesterday, he could still tell that the pain was still
fresh, even if his betrayal was committed years ago. Though he knew that if
Furlan did show up, he could finally confront him after all this time and try
to get things the way they were before everything happened. If he showed up. If
he didn’t then he could get the opportunity to ask Pixis if Furlan did join the
Garrison, just hoped he got to him in time before he becomes too drunk for his
own good.
“It’s not like I have a choice,” Levi concluded. “Just send me the details
before the event and I’ll be there.”
He nodded as Levi stood up from his chair and started to head out, already
having a hand on the handle before turning around to face Erwin once more.
“Nothing else ya want to surprise me with? Need me to go on a hit? Need some
coffee?” he asked.
“Coffee is always good,” Erwin smiled at him.
Rolling his eyes, he went to open the door before Erwin seemed to remember
something.
“Oh, Hanji wants to see you before you retreat back to your pet and hole,” he
suddenly said, smirking before getting up as well.
“Fuck,” Levi simply said.
 
When he got to the basement, Hanji’s office, lab, medical office, anything to
do with Hanji was located in the basement. She originally had an office across
from Levi’s but when she snuck acid and other chemicals into it, making every
evacuate the building twice, Erwin made the basement her’s. It had ventilation
that went directly outside so there was no possibility of her poisoning the
rest of the building, though she hadn’t been experimenting recently. Focusing
more on surgeries and making sure that our recruits were trained to deal with
emergency encase she or her assistant, Moblit couldn’t get there right away.
Already wanting to go home and watch television with Eren, he found himself
getting annoyed when he just saw Moblit in the large space. He was sitting on
Hanji’s four screened computer, probably searching for something odd that she
requested, most likely the newest tech that just came out. Though he didn’t
know where she’d put it in the almost overcrowded lab. He had to give credit to
Moblit at least, he managed to keep each section from spilling onto each other
and cleaned up every time the whirlwind of Hanji. He was dressed in his usual
attire, a buttoned-up lime green shirt, black slacks, and his white lab coat.
His light chocolate hair, that was usually parted down the middle, was all over
the place like he’d been running his hands through it over and over again. His
hazel blue eyes raced across the screens, reading paragraphs after paragraphs
of text.
“Moblit, where is Hanji?” Levi announced his presence as he leaned against
Hanji’s main desk in the center of the room.
He swore that Moblit jumped five in the air before quickly turning his chair
around to see him. Letting out a sudden breath, he didn’t know that he was
holding, Moblit placed a hand on his heart.
“I get enough scares from Hanji, I don’t need any from you, sir,” he said like
he was catching his breath.
If it was anyone else, he probably would have made them rephrase the way they
talked to him, but he gave the poor man a break. From the way that Hanji wore
down the man, he’s surprised that Moblit doesn’t have a head full of gray hair
already. It’s probably the reason why she called him the night she found Eren
instead of Moblit, he needed a couple of hours where she wasn’t making him want
to pull out his own hair.
“She should be coming back from a call,” he finally answered, turning the chair
back around so he could look at the screens again.
“What happened?” Levi found himself asking.
Hanji going on a call usually didn’t mean things were going well or that the
members hurt were top rank. “It’s a hit and run, probably an accident but
nothing is never a coincidence in our line of work. They were close to the
hospital so he was transported there, though you know Hanji. She needs to do
everything herself or else she doesn’t think it’s done right.”
He was right, nothing in their line of work was coincidence, every move toward
them was a strategic and meant to look like they had nothing to do with it.
Levi would bet money that the Military was at least involved, their tactics
always being a hit and run type.
When thirty minutes passed, he considered just heading home and with it getting
closer to the time that he told Eren he would be home. He busied himself by
checking the emails and piling up paperwork that Erwin and few others had sent
him, approving shipments and price changes of exportations, and various other
things that he doesn’t really read anymore and sign. Especially if Erwin sent
them to him. He only read something if it was said to in the subject bar,
highlighted and bold.
Just as he was about to say goodbye to Moblit, he heard the elevator ding
announcing that someone had arrived. They both turned to the opening double
doors to see Hanji walking out, cleaning her glasses with a rag that had dirt
and blood on it. Hoping that she didn’t just randomly pick up the piece of
cloth already dirty but knowing her, it could go either way. She wore a yellow
long sleeve and tight jeans, styled with her ridiculous bright, red sneakers.
Her shirt was smeared with dried blood, most of it was concentrated on the ends
of her sleeves. He looked for the deep lines that usually consumed her face
when she lost a member, not getting there in time or not being able to save
them. It would be the only hint that she was upset about it and he knew that
every death hit her hard, no matter how much she says she’s become numb to it.
Usually those days he would give money to Moblit so he could grab her a large
jug of coffee and her favorite desserts after he left. She knew that Levi was
the reason why she was suddenly gifted things by Moblit, but she never said
anything to him only sometimes he’d find new, exotic tea leaves on his desk.
“How did it go?” Moblit asked, being the first one to break the ice.
She looked up, no lines in her face to the relief of them both. At least the
man was alive when Hanji left him.
“Levi!” she greeted him loudly, completely ignoring Moblit’s question. “So
Erwin told you, I have expected him to forget.”
Walking to the walls of cabinets, she grabbed one of the many spare shirts that
she kept right next to the array of blue towels. Without hesitating, she
stripped her shirt and grabbed a blue hand towel to wipe away the blood that
managed to get on her skin. Realizing that she wasn’t wearing a bra and had no
shame walking half naked around Levi and Moblit, made him want to know Moblit’s
reaction. Levi looked over at him to see his face turning bright red and eyes
widen to an almost impossible degree. A chuckle managed to escape him as Moblit
turned toward the screens once again, trying to act like he was actually
interested in whatever he was reading. Hanji and Moblit were oblivious to each
other, more of Hanji didn’t know about her feelings and Moblit having them
since they mostly first met. If they didn’t end up together then he doesn’t
know if anyone would be able to stand to be with Hanji for a week.
She wiped at the little blood that managed to stained her skin and then threw
the towel into a red bin with other bloodied towels, though currently, it was
empty. Still shirtless, with her breasts out for the world to see, she messed
with her clumsy made ponytail and pulled it tightly, and then decided to put
her clean shirt on. He cleared his throat, signaling to Moblit that her tits
were away and could join the conversation again. He could see a blush still
lightly dusting Moblit’s cheeks and he wished that he could just throw them
into the elevator, shut it down and give them a bunch of boozes to start the
confessions already.
“How did it go?” Moblit asked once again, clearing his throat before speaking.
“Those idiots at the hospital don’t know how to properly set broken bones,” she
complained, tugging down her shirt to fix it and inspecting her nails, probably
trying to see if there was blood underneath or not.
Knowing that she wouldn’t really look, Levi grabbed both of her small hands and
scanned her fingers for any form of blood or extra dirt.
“Right ring and pointer finger have a bit of blood,” he told her before
dropping her hands.
She inspected them again and just shrugged before walking over to the large
metal sink in the corner. Spending less than a few seconds with her hands until
the warm water and the tiniest bit of soap. Deciding that she wasn’t allowed to
touch him until she properly cleaned her fingernails, he moved closer to the
elevator, hoping to be able to leave once she finished saying what she wanted
to say.
“If you don’t need me, I’ll start heading home,” Levi announced, inching closer
to the elevators.
“Oh! So I was wondering since it’s been a couple of days,” she started, looking
like she was ready to burst. “Can I see Loki?!”
He was about to ask who the fuck Loki was, but then remembered that it was
Eren’s former name before he found out exactly what the cat was. Then he
remembered that it was supposed to be a secret between Erwin, her, and himself,
he looked over Moblit but he didn’t seem to be confused.
“She told me four days ago,” he tossed in.
Giving a ‘really?’ look at Hanji, she reached across and hit Moblit upside the
head.
“You didn’t have to tell him that,” she hissed at him.
He didn’t respond but just massaged the area where she hit him.
“But can I? I promise to be on my best behavior and not get in his face, or do
anything to upset him,” she promised.
Feeling a headache already making itself known if he said no, he rubbed the
bridge of his nose and wished that he could warn Eren before he unleashed this
chaos on him.
“Fine, but only if you wash your hands properly. You’re not touching him with
your dirty nails,” he finally agreed.
“They’re not that bad!” she argued, even though she raced over to the sink to
wash her hands again.
“Good luck,” he heard Moblit say under his breath.
 
He already knew that he would regret letting her over once they both arrived in
his underground parking. Hanji must have broken the speed limit because, by the
time that he arrived, she was already waiting for him outside of her car. If
she had a key, it wouldn’t surprise him if she would be waiting by his front
door, though he took away her copy of his keys after she barged in the last
time and scared the shit out of Eren.
She seemed to be pulsing with energy when he finally exited his car and headed
toward the elevator. By the time they arrived on his floor and started walking
to his door, she was a ball of raw energy. If she walked in like this without a
warning, Eren would hide and never come out.
“Wait here,” Levi ordered her before taking out his apartment keys.
“Leevvii,” she whined.
“I have to warn him and you with the way you are now, would terrify him.”
“Warning him isn’t going to help him, just because you talk to him doesn’t mean
he can understand you.”
He would snap at her that he understood everything that came out of her mouth
but then that would give away the secret that he’s been holding for the past
week. No one could know about Eren’s intelligence and if someone like Hanji
did, then she would bug him to no end to bring him in for testing, something he
knew that Eren wouldn’t be able to handle. He couldn’t even be in the same room
with Levi if he had to use the knife, making him find recipes that didn’t have
the need to use a knife that much.
“Just stay here,” he ordered once again.
Unlocking the door, stepping inside, and quickly shutting the door before Hanji
managed to snake herself into the room without him knowing. He looked up to see
Eren sitting on the couch, underneath the blanket that he set out for him, and
staring questionably at the door. Locking it for good measure, he walked to him
and sat down next to Eren. He breathed in suddenly, most likely taking in
Hanji’s scent from outside the door, and a soft growl emerged from his throat.
Like he was asking why the hell she was here.
“Yeah, I don’t like it either, but she won’t stop bothering me until she sees
you again,” Levi sighed.
He reached over to scratch between his ears, something he discovered made
Eren’s body become lax. It did it’s trick to an extent. His ears were still
standing straight, listening to whatever Hanji was doing outside of his
apartment, just thankfully she stayed put. His tail twitched next to him,
flicking wildly when he heard Hanji groan loudly on the opposite side of the
door. Levi could tell that she was getting impatient and that he needed to get
her into the apartment before she found her own way in.
“I know that last time she came, it didn’t go very well, but if you deal with
her for five minutes and then she’s gone for a week or more,” he started to
reason with him.
He could see the gears turning in his head and he offered the only thing that
Levi could think of.
“I’ll open the door to the porch again,” he offered. “You can stay outside as
long as you want, even if it’s all day and all night.”
The sudden excitement and life that pops into the emerald globes, made a hint
of guilt crawl over his thawing heart. That he was dangling some time outside,
something that he probably didn’t have before he arrived here so that Hanji
would get off his back about seeing him. He reminded himself to give him extra
chicken and let him try some vanilla ice cream tonight.
“Five minutes, I promise,” Levi states before getting off the couch and heading
toward the door.
He waited to see Eren nod at him that it was fine before releasing the
whirlwind that was Hanji.
 
It was definitely more than the five minutes that he promised Eren she would be
at the apartment, but if he felt like Eren was truly uncomfortable, he would
have stepped in and thrown her out. Her attitude took a total one-eighty, the
rolling energy that couldn’t find a way to escape was gone by the time he
opened the door and she took slow steps toward Eren, treating him like an
actual animal instead of a house cat. She did everything that she didn’t do
last time, letting him sniff her hand and get acquainted with her scent, and
making slow movements for Eren to see. It was almost like he didn’t know who
this Hanji was.
She ended up petting him, something that he was very surprised that Eren let
her do, though she worked her way up to it. Thankfully she didn’t just reach
out toward him and start petting him like a normal house cat. She gave him time
to get used to her presence but he could tell that he was a little
uncomfortable about the situation and would look over at Levi to make sure that
everything was still good.
Eventually, she announced that she was leaving, saying that she needed to get
to Moblit before he decided to throw away out some important papers by
accident. Before she stood up to leave, she leaned into Eren’s space and
whispered something in his ears. By the time that Levi tried to pick up on
whatever she said, she was done and left in a rush.
“What was that all about?” Levi questioned him.
Eren did what he could only guess was the equivalent of shrugging his
shoulders.
 
After the unexpected visit of Hanji that Levi mostly threw at him, he was
completely surprised by the woman that greeted him. Eren had expected the half-
mad woman that searching and crawled her way through the apartment trying to
find him, but was greeted by an almost different woman. The only way that he
could tell that they were the same was their scents.
He’d look over at Levi while she was in the room, watching him to see if the
five minutes was up or not, but he just stared at Hanji. Like he was waiting
for Hanji to just transform into this monster and try to attack him. When she
announced that she was leaving, Levi’s grey eyes slightly widened, like he was
surprised that she volunteered to leave. Before she got up though, she suddenly
got close to him, freaking him out for a second before she began to speak.
“Thank you for taking care of Levi. I don’t know what you’ve done but I can see
that he’s changing for the better. Keep at it, Tiger,” she whispered in his
ears.
 
Eren fell into this hazy that consumed him for the rest of the day like he
couldn’t move past what Hanji whispered in his ear before departing. He tried
to get out of the rhythm and Levi seemed to notice that there was something off
about him but didn’t push him. Something he was grateful but also wanted to
distract himself from what was swirling around in his head. The hazy continued
to follow him through the next day.
He realized as he woke up the next morning that his thoughts were consumed by
Levi. It was the last thing he thought about before falling asleep and the
first thing when he woke up. Understanding that just wanting to not think about
Levi in any way besides his caretaker for the moment, was more difficult than
he ever imagined. So he did the only thing he did best, the only thing he could
think of. He put some distance between himself and Levi.
Every opportunity he got, he would sit or stand as far away as he could, but
not far enough to make Levi wonder what’s wrong with him. It worked for a bit
until he asked if he felt okay or if there was nothing wrong. He responded by
only shook his head, trying to avoid minimal communication with him, hoping
that it would work.
Of course, he came to find out that it didn’t help, but probably made this
abnormal feeling in his chest worse and adding guilt into the mix as well. He
could tell that Levi thought that he did something wrong for Eren’s sudden
change in attitude toward him.
He told himself that he would try and change one more time if he couldn’t
change than he would wait a few more days, two at most and do it again, but if
he changed, then he had to leave. He’d been here too long and still didn’t know
if the lab coats could find him or not. Eren couldn’t pretend that there was no
possible way for them to find him and that he could live out the rest of his
life as Levi’s pet. Petra had told him that they would do anything to get him
back and with everything they did to keep him alive for years, he knew that she
was telling the truth. He just didn’t know if he’d be able to go without
leaving a piece of him here with Levi.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Notes
     So I lied the tiniest bit, so this is the second to last chapter for
     cat Eren. My friend from out of state came to visit and I had mostly
     spent every moment I could with her and then I lost my mojo for
     writing for a bit. I planned on making this chapter almost twice the
     size but I wanted to update since it's been a week and a half since I
     did and give you guys something so you don't think I've given up on
     this fic or abandoned it. So I hope you guys enjoy! I'm sorry once
     again that it's short!
Levi knew that there was something wrong with Eren. He was being distant and
he’s been so used to having him attached to his hip, that it felt weird walking
around without Eren at his heels. It was almost as bad as when he refused to
leave the cabinet after he first woke up. He raked his brain, trying to find
out if it was something he did. The only thing he could come close to why Eren
was being this distant was the unexpected visit of Hanji, though she had been
on her best behavior to his surprise. He wanted to soothe him and show that
whatever he did to get this reaction from Eren, that he was sorry but he didn’t
want to push himself onto the cat.
Whenever he did get close enough, he would pet him lightly on the head and
nothing else. Trying to show that whenever he wanted to come to him, he’d be
there but Eren refused to make eye contact with him. He’d only been able to
catch his eyes when he thought Levi wasn’t looking at him and he could see a
sadness the glazed over them. He wanted to know what caused this sudden change
but mostly still came up with nothing.
By the time that he decided to turn in for the night, Eren didn’t join him in
at first and seemed to be fighting with himself when Levi said to hop on the
bed with him. Wanting to pick him up and put him on the bed himself, he chose
to let Eren decide by himself, grabbing his laptop and deciding to check the
emails that managed to sneak by him throughout the day. He got through a
document that Erwin marked him to read, already feeling his eyes drying out
from the bright screen and digging out his almost never used glasses before
Eren decided to join him on the bed.
He expected him to laid down where he always did, right next to him and usually
his head in Levi’s lap so he could easily be scratched and loved all over
without taking too much of his attention off his work. Instead, he laid at the
foot of the bed, his paws crossed under his chin and watching whatever was on
the screen. He would have reached down and attempted to stroke him but Eren’s
tail was being twitchy and never stayed still for more than a few seconds. A
clear indication to Levi that he didn’t want to be touched or messed with. He
could only just hope that Eren would start to get better the next day.
The next day it didn’t get better. It actually felt like it got worse. When
making breakfast, Eren wasn’t even in the room, still laying on the bed and
only coming out when he called out that their food was ready. He scarfed it
down, fast enough that he worried that he was going to get sick and throw up
afterward, and then headed into the living room without Levi. Finishing his
meal and cleaning all of the dirty dishes, he headed into the living room to
see that Eren was laying on the couch. Not knowing what else to do, he turned
on the television and tried to find something that he would like, hopefully
bringing up his mood.
Leaving him alone with the flashing images coming off the screen, he headed
into his bedroom and grabbed his phone. It took less than three rings for Hanji
to pick up, and he expected her to pick up after the first.
“How’s mister grumpy?” she asked cheerfully.
“Are you talking about me or the cat?” he responded.
“Of course I’m talking about you, no one is as grumpy as you.”
Rolling his eyes, he sat on the bed where he could see into the living room and
the top of Eren’s head.
“So what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice?” she asked.
He could hear typing in the background, guessing that she was at her lab or
home on her computer. “Something has been bothering...Loki ever since you’ve
come over...like he’s shutting down on me.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s just become very distant. He usually follows me around everywhere and now
he won’t move.”
“Has he been eating fine?”
“Yeah, he gobbles everything down so fast that I’m afraid that it’ll make him
sick...it’s almost like he’s trying to eat everything so he doesn’t have to
spend time with me.”
It was something that occurred to him when Eren was consuming everything off
his plate, but he didn’t want to think that it was true. Now that he said it
out loud, it was the only thing he could think about, that it had to be true.
“Maybe he’s just gotten bored, let him outside and run around on the porch or
something. It’ll possibly change his attitude for the better,” she answered.
“I’ll try it, thanks,” he said before hanging up.
“Did Levi just thank me-”
He managed to hear that before the call fully ended and he rolled his eyes once
again before heading over to the glass doors. Opening them, he heard movement
from the living room, like Eren had sat up on the couch and was trying to see
what caused that noise. Soon he saw Eren’s head poking out from behind the
corner, seeing the door open, his eyes grew enormous and his pupils turned to
slits, letting the flakes of gold be known in his green irises. He hesitantly
walked over to the door, looking up at Levi like he was asking for permission
to leave and enjoy the limited sun. It was cloudy outside with sunlight poking
out from the heavy gray clouds every few minutes, meaning that it was wicked
cold outside.
“If the door is open, you can come and go outside as much as you want...maybe I
should get a bell so you can tell me when you want to enjoy the weather,” Levi
begun but then started talking to himself more than anything else.
The next time he went out he would go to the nearest pet shop to get a bell or
something that Eren could easily make noise to inform him he wanted to go
outside. He looked at him to see something flash through his eyes, but he
wasn’t fast enough to identify the emotion.
Opening the door wider, Eren walked through the doorway, his fur puffing out to
retain his body heat against the chilly weather. Levi actually preferred this
type of weather than anything else. He still had to worry about getting
sunburnt but at least he would be cool instead of sweating to death under the
intense heat.
Leaving the doorway so he could grab a jacket from his closet since his thin
black long sleeved shirt wasn’t cutting it, he came back to see Eren soaking in
the chill and breathing deep breaths. He just hoped that this would help with
the sudden distance that he made. Putting on the jacket and sitting on his
patio chairs, he watched as Eren enjoyed his time outside and wondered if he
should just keep the door open for the rest of the day. He would have to leave
for the King’s party later tonight and it wasn’t like he was on the first or
second floor so he didn’t have to worry about anyone breaking in. If any
animals got in, they’d probably drop dead the sight of Eren, even if he didn’t
chase them down and try to murder them. He just hoped that he didn’t come home
to blood splattering the walls and tiled floors because he decided to kill
whatever came into the apartment.
He let Eren relax on the cold cement ground, his limbs stretching every once in
awhile and tail flailing around happily, before telling him that he would have
to leave again tonight.
“Eren,” he said, trying to get his attention. The cat took a second to open his
eyes and look over at him. “I’m going to be leaving tonight but should come
back after a few hours.”
He nodded to his once to let him know that he understood and then returned to
his position of enjoying the weather. Tomorrow he would see if any of his
efforts made this distance between them disappear or made it worse.
 
Eren stayed outside for the majority of the day, only coming in to get water
and possibly warm himself up from the weather before going back outside. Though
Levi liked to think that he had a good immune system but from the flood of cold
wind that swept through his apartment, his nose was red and getting sniffily.
He popped a few allergy medicines and an antibiotic just to be safe before
moving the door so that it was wide enough for Eren to come in and out. At
least there wasn’t that much of the cold seeping into the apartment and making
it feel five degrees colder than what his A/C told him. Levi just watched
television on his couch, wrapped in a light blanket since a heavy one would be
too much, and missing the furnace of heat that kept him company. He would give
him another day before actually confronting him on what the hell happened to
him or what Levi did to get some a change of attitude toward him.
Around seven, an alarm on his phone began to beep and scream at him, warning
him that he needed to change or else he would be late. Though he considered the
action of being late to piss off Erwin just for the hell of it until thinking
that it probably wouldn’t be appropriate, no matter how funny it would to him.
Unwrapping from the cocoon that he made with the blanket and checking on Eren
outside after he got up, he headed off to his bathroom to take a shower and
clean up. Looking into the wall mirror as he let the water run to get to his
desired temperature, he realized that this was the best opportunity to cut his
growing hair or at least shave his undercut. Grabbing his electric razor and a
small mirror to check his work as he went, he started to trim and cut away at
his undercut until he was happy with the length. Once he was satisfied, he
grabbed a pair of small stainless scissors out from one of his drawers and
began to cut the rest of his hair. After a few minutes, he got an even cut that
had the longest pieces reaching the middle of his ears. Happy once again he
inspected his pale face, seeing that he didn’t need to shave, his facial hair
barely being seen since he shaved the other day.
After he got into the shower and let himself soak in the warm water, not
wanting to be exposed to the chilly air that was seeping into his apartment.
However, the alarm that he set went off, informing him that this was the most
amount of time he could spend in the shower so he had time to get ready.
Regretfully shutting off the searing hot water, he quickly dried himself off
with his fluffy black towel and started putting on his black three-piece suit.
It was mostly never used and began to collect dust since the last time he wore
it was almost over a year when the last time the King came by and declared to
have a party thrown for him.
He was adjusting his silver cuffs and straightening his deep black tie that
laid on top of his white undershirt when he heard movement outside of his
doorway. Looking over, he spotted Eren standing outside his doorway, fur still
twice the size it usually was so he probably just came inside once again. The
large emeralds were almost engulfed by his pupils like he was soaking up the
sight of Levi in a suit. If a cat could blush, Eren would be doing so right
now. He had done it a few times before but Levi didn’t have the heart to make
fun of the cat. His ears would tuck down so it was almost impossible to tell
where they actually were and an intense heat would consume his body though he
could only feel it if he was sitting right next to him. He found it adorable
honestly. Even though he hadn’t gotten laid in over two years, at least someone
found him good looking.
“I’ll leave out some food for you to snack on while I’m out but don’t stay up
for me, I’ll be home late,” Levi told him, straightening his cuffs once again
once he saw that one was slightly turned than the other. “I’ll also leave the
door open for you so you can go in and out as much as you please.”
After his cuffs were fixed correctly, he looked at himself in the mirror,
adjusting his suit and making sure that he looked up to Erwin’s standards as
his right hand. He wished that he could have found his silver handkerchief to
put in his breast pocket but didn’t have the time or energy to search through
his dressers. Ignoring the need to find it, he grabbed his phone and checked
the silver Rolex, that Hanji gifted to him years ago for some holiday, to see
that he needed to start heading out. He started heading toward his closet and
opened the bottom drawer, finding a button underneath the wooden frame and
popped the false bottom. Once he grabbed the false bottom, it realized his
array of stainless steel knives that were arranged from largest to smallest.
Grabbing two of the smallest, the blades being as long as his pointer finger
and folded them into themselves, before slipping them into the hidden slot in
the platform of his dress shoes. The event would already be heavily armed by
security but there was no way in hell he was going into there without some
security of his own.
Safely securing the false bottom and double checking that it wasn’t noticeable,
he left his closet and set out to grab his keys before heading off. Though
after keys were in his hands, he scanned the room to find Eren still standing
in the doorway of his bedroom.
“Protect the house for me,” he called out to him.
He only got a chirp in reply before leaving the apartment even though all he
wanted to do was walk across the room and give him at least a pat on his head.
 
Hanji had the nerve to ask him, while he finally thought he would arrive on
time if she could get a ride to the party. He tried to ignore her at first but
once his car speakers were about to blow out from how many times she called, he
finally answered and said that he was on his way. Not before she quickly drew
out a long ‘love you’ and replying with a signature ‘fuck off.’ She didn’t live
too far from him but it never felt far enough. She was the only one out of him
and Erwin that actually owned a house, living in one of the many gated suburban
communities in Shiganshina. If you didn’t own an apartment or penthouse in
Shiganshina, then you lived in gated communities. It was the only section of
Maria that had the most security, the rest fending for itself, something that
haunted Levi all the time. Though the richest of Shiganshina still looked like
filth compared to the average civilians that lived in the Capital.
After gaining access to her neighborhood and finding her house among the many
lining the streets, though it was easy to find since it was the only one with
her yard becoming out of control. The weeds were about to take over her
driveway and her grass was almost up to his mid-calf. He tucked into the back
of his head to send some landscaping employees over so her neighborhoods
wouldn’t start complaining and don’t order a hit on her. Parking in her
driveway, she was nowhere to be seen and he was forced to honk his horn, not
wanting to get out and make them later than they already were going to be.
Thankfully she emerged shortly after, though he was two seconds away from
honking it again because he was beginning to get annoyed. There was one thing
that he could admire about Hanji when she took something serious and actually
committed, she could freshen up and actually look beautiful. She had a blood
red dress that hugged every curve, a slit that ran up to her mid-thigh on her
right leg, and a deep v that displayed her absence of a bra. Her brunette hair
was still in her usual ponytail but it looked like she actually put effort into
taming it. He wished that Moblit would have been able to come tonight, just so
he could see his reaction to her in the dress. However, someone needed to
always be on hand in case someone on their team got injured and Hanji couldn’t
resist passing up on free drinks.
“You couldn’t drive yourself?” Levi asked when she climbed into her seat.
“A lady can’t go herself, that would be unacceptable,” she pouted with a smile.
“You’re no lady.”
“Okay, so I mostly wanted to get some drinks going without worrying about how
I’m getting home.”
Rolling his eyes, they started making their way to the party.
 
They had only been here for an hour and Levi was already prepared to go home.
He’d forgotten how draining these could get and Erwin had ordered him to be on
his best behavior, which consisted of drinking his scotch and nodding whenever
someone droned on and on about their ‘fabulous’ lives and which famous
celebrity they talk to on the daily. Even with the rants that Hanji makes, at
least if he listened he would learn something but the different elitist gave
him nothing but boring details.
They criticized his city and Maria, calling the less fortunate savages and
wondering how Erwin and he let it get this bad. Hanji found him then, to the
mercy of the current three elitists surrounding him with champagne in their
hands because he could feel himself ready to snap or just stab one of them in
the throat. Of course, it would happen so quickly that no one but Erwin and
Hanji would suspect that he did it because why would he act without his boss’
orders. The knives tucked in his shoes felt heavy at the moment, almost begging
to be used. She made something up, talking too quickly and throwing random
names into the mix to make it sound important.
“Remember to be on your best behavior,” she whispered in his ear as she pulled
him away.
“And we used to worry about setting you loose during these parties,” he
mumbled, taking a long sip of his scotch.
“It can’t be all that bad, you’d just got to be a social butterfly, not the…
anti-social moth in your case.”
“That the best you can do?”
The party was taking place in the nicest hotel that Maria could offer, security
checks at almost every door and Recon’s finest serving as security, of course
that’s what they told their privileged guests. Most the security were their new
trainees, with a few senor members that they could spare from patrol, though
the ones that managed to get out were given a bonus for dealing with the
guests. Chandeliers of gold and crystals hung from the ballroom ceiling and
illuminated the hundred or so bodies in their thousand dollar dresses and
tuxes. Servants walked around with the small amount of food that was served,
along with the ridiculous amount of booze that was circulating the room. His
hope to find Pixis before he drowning himself in booze was good as gone,
especially now when he’s been here for almost an hour. Levi still searched for
him, nodding in his previous conversations like he gave two shits about the
people that looked down on him and his movement, but haven’t managed to find
the bald headed man. He’d spotted Erwin twice and managed to get a brief nod
from him even when he begged with his eyes to get him out.
Hanji grabbed his drink before he could take another drink, downing the rest of
his scotch and coughing before throwing the empty glass onto a tray that passed
by. Resisting the urge to snarl at her, remembering an extra pay raise if Levi
didn’t cause a scene, and tried to pick up the nearest drink to him, just to
have it stolen by Hanji. Her face scrunched up and stuck her tongue out in
disgust like a child.
“What’s wrong with you?” Levi snapped under his breath.
If he had to suffer this party then he needed to have something in him,
anything to make himself feel slightly better. “You’re driving so that means no
drinking, no matter how tempting it is,” she winked at him.
Wanting nothing to do but strangle the woman next to him, his eyes drifted
across the room to find a shiny, bald head disappearing behind a tall blonde in
a white gown. “Excuse me Hanji.”
Quickly leaving her side before she could ask what he was up to, he grabbed a
scotch off a passing tray, thinking that if he was going to have this
conversation with Pixis then he needed some liquid courage. Downing half the
drink then, hoping that Hanji didn’t manage to swipe his currently drink before
he could finish it. He and herself knew how much alcohol he could take, and a
couple drinks of scotch wasn’t going to inhibit his driving skills.
After finding and losing sight of the older man, he just leaned against the
black marble bar and waited for when Pixis need to refill his glass. Thankfully
he didn’t have to wait long for him to spot the man. He was walking backward,
still trying to hold on to the last bit of a conversation before turning around
with his almost empty drink. His thin, gray brows raised for a second when his
soft brown eyes landed on him, but his surprise vanished when he arrived at the
bar.
“You know the drill,” he simply said to the bartender who was already on their
way to get his new drink ready. “Levi, what do I owe the pleasure?”
Before the man even spoke, he could smell the alcohol on his breath and knew
that it was possibly too late to get any actual information out of him.
Everything would boil down to a joke with the old man and Levi’s patience was
already wearing thin.
“I don’t see Erwin with you. He finally let you off the leash?” a toothy grin
emerging from his face.
If it had been anyone else, anyone that made a backhanded comment at him, he
probably would have punched and especially after he’s had to put up with for
the past two hours. However, Pixis knew about Erwin and him well enough,
especially with setting up the treaty that he honestly didn’t know was still in
place or not. He just hoped that the man was just trying to blend in with the
others.
“I need to speak with you Pixis,” Levi mentioned, already knowing the answer he
was going to receive.
“Oh, come on, Levi. You and Erwin, always business and more business. It’s a
party, enjoy yourself, drink,” he replied, grabbing his new drink and taking a
large swing.
“It’s about one of your recruits-”
“You know I have hundreds of recruits, I don’t know anyone by hand. Go talk to
Hannes, he knows more than I do.”
“It’s Furlan, sir.”
That seemed to catch the man’s attention.
Got you.
“What makes you suddenly want to talk about him? You don’t ask about him for
years and now a sudden interest,” Pixis committed.
“Our meetings are sparse and I know better than try and approach Furlan when he
doesn’t want me,” Levi fired back.
He tried once, leaving messages on his old number when they first left and he
even tried to hunt them down, but his efforts were fruitless. He received a
letter at his old apartment, the one that they shared together, that mostly
said to fuck off.
“Don’t we both know that...but Levi, you know that I don’t like to discuss
business outside of meetings-”
“Sir, this isn’t business.”
“From everything that has been going on, yes Levi, it is. Even though you are
Erwin’s right hand, this is currently only between him and me, and though it’s
only been mostly arguing.”
He could feel himself getting annoyed, especially with Pixis mostly avoiding
Levi’s unspoken question but at least now Levi knows that he is aware of the
things happening in his Garrison. That he isn’t completely the drunk old
bastard that most of his recruits believe that he is. He knows that someone is
undermining his authority and using the Garrison to stir up trouble between
them. Levi just didn’t know why Pixis wasn’t doing anything to take back his
Corps.
“Can you at least tell me that they’re okay?” Levi almost snapped.
Pixis had raised his drink to finish it off but stopped as his lips touched the
glass.
“They’re fine. Not great, but fine,” he reassured Levi as he lowered the glass,
surprising him that he actually answered his request. “That’s all we can say
that we are, fine.”
Wanting nothing more than to ask him what the hell he meant, or if he was
starting to be too far gone with his drinks, he was interrupted by Hanji once
again appearing at his side.
“Pixis!” she warmly greeted him.
He took her outstretched hand and sloppily kissed the top of her hand,
something that he vaguely remembered him hearing that she hated, mostly because
of the sharpness of his mustache.
“Hanji, what a nice surprise...so you’re the designated owner when Erwin is
unavailable,” he winked at Hanji.
They both knew know that he was acting like an arrogant jackass to appease the
elitist around them, but the comments still made him want to punch the closest
face to him. Once she was given her hand back, Hanji grabbed Levi’s upper arm
and began to drag him away from Pixis.
“I’m sorry but I have to take Grumpy back to Erwin, he’s needed for urgent
business,” the lies effortlessly rolling off her tongue.
He didn’t see why they bothered to bring him along to these functions,
especially if they were hosting the party themselves. All Hanji and Erwin did
was take him out of conversations and situations that would set him over the
edge. They usually got him before he accidentally punched someone in the face,
but there had been one incident where they arrived just a fraction of a second
too late. Before Hanji managed to drag him away to an undisclosed location,
Pixis managed to grab his other arm and briefly bring his lips to Levi’s ear
before giving him a warning.
“Don’t trust your past,” he whispered in the shell of his ear. “Or the people
from it.”
Hanji continued to pull him along as Levi suddenly realized that his question
of if Furlan would be capable of everything that the spy said that he’s done.
He suddenly felt cold all over and just wanted to come home.
 
Erwin eventually found them, dressed in his black suit and a neat tequila in
hand, though he honestly wasn’t paying attention to anything that Hanji was
saying for the past couple of minutes. All he could think about was Pixis’
words before Hanji pulled him away from the drunk, old man and he could only
guess that Erwin knew this already. Just waiting for Levi either to come to the
realization that his childhood friend was orchestrating the hits to the Recon
or someone like Pixis telling him what he needed to hear. If it was anyone else
saying those things to him, he would have easily brushed them off but this was
Pixis, the only other person outside of the Recon that Erwin wholesomely
trusted. He wouldn’t dare say those things just to mess with his right-hand
man, especially if it was regarding an important issue such as the attacks.
After Erwin had tried and failed to hold a conversation with him, he offered
for both Hanji and Levi to leave the event early.
“Erwin, it’s almost over, I can hold out for another hour or so,” Levi snapped
out of his gaze.
“I mostly wanted you out of the house, you’ve been cooped up with that cat and
needed some human interaction,” Erwin suddenly confessed. “The worst thing that
could happen here is that I get vomited on by Pixis while we’re talking.”
Rolling his eyes, he scanned the floor out of habit, looking for any potential
threat but all he saw were drunks. He could even see the King, barely,
surrounded by his bodyguards and no one being allowed too close to him.
Believing that Erwin would be fine for the rest of the night, he reluctantly
agrees even though the thought of going home almost made him smile in relief.
He was closer to seeing Eren, even if he was acting abnormal and didn’t want to
be cuddled recently.
“Just don’t get too fucked up,” Levi called out to him as he escorted Hanji
toward the front door.
“Don’t kill anyone on your way out,” Erwin smirked back.
“That’s why I’m here!” Hanji laughed.
Now with direct permission to leave, anyone that tried to stop them with
conversation was completely ignored, even Hanji tried to throw an apology their
way before Levi pulled them out of sight. Passing through the golden hallways
with fewer and fewer guests trying to stop them as they went, they finally
found the massive glass doors that would lead them outside.
The chill air made Levi pass over his jacket to Hanji, already knowing that she
would bitch and complain about the cold until he passed it to her. The chill
also managed to sober her up fairly fast, even though she honestly didn’t drink
a lot, especially when she could almost outdrink him. Though he regretted it
the moment the piece of warm clothing came off of him because holy fuck was it
getting cold. He dragged her past the nervous valet, probably new to his job
and wanting nothing more than to be inside the warm building, and headed to his
car near the end of the massive parking lot. Hanji made fun of him for not
trusting the valet to drive his car and just wait at the entrance instead of
running across the parking lot to get to it. He didn’t let anyone drive his
car, even though Hanji begged almost every day to get behind the wheel, so no
snot-nosed brat was driving his car.
The sound of the party was quickly drowned out by the nightlife of the city.
There were high-end nightclubs that covered the avenue and there were lines of
people waiting to get inside the booze-soaked floors. Hanji was talking about
how much fun she had as she ranted about different theories and random science
information that was too overwhelming to most of the guests there. At least he
had the decency to pretend to listen to the guests, Hanji just wanted to see
how much they could go before their heads started to spin at the information
being shoved into their minds. He did find it hilarious to watch though.
They finally neared his car when his teeth began to chatter and wanted nothing
more than to blast the heat. He couldn’t even imagine how cold it was going to
be in his apartment, especially when he just left the porch doors open.
Reaching for his keys and too distracted by Hanji still complaining about the
cold even with his jacket, he didn’t manage to catch the quiet footsteps behind
him.
“Stop bitching about the cold, you have my jacket,” Levi snapped as he unlocked
the doors.
“I didn’t ask for your jacket, you’re the one that willingly handed it over,”
she pouted.
“You would have complained more and I can only deal with so much-”
“Levi!”
Her eyes widen as he noticed that she was staring behind him and his ears
managed to pick up a quickened pace behind him. However, before he managed to
fully grab the knife in his shoes, a large sharp pain bloomed in his side and a
painful gasp escaped his lungs. Fighting through the pain, he grabbed the hilt
of the knife and aimed for where he hoped was his assailant’s head or neck.
Before he felt the knife make contact with flesh and could feel it slip into
the attack’s skin, he could pick up them saying something before they began to
choke on their own blood.
“Furlan sends his regards.”
The whole encounter happened within seconds, but it felt like it lasted hours,
especially when the man’s small frame fell onto the ground. He could instantly
tell that the man who attacked him was barely old enough to drive, nothing more
than a child and thankfully had the strength like one. As he watched the figure
gasp for breath, his knife embedded into his neck and blood pouring out of the
wound and his mouth, he made himself lean against the car before he fell to the
solid ground. Hanji was already at his side, making him turn so that whatever
was sticking out of his side was being evaluated by her.
His body was numb and he didn’t know if it was just his body was reacting to
just being stabbed or from the news that he just received from the dying child.
Furlan sent a child after him. He knew that he acted first and asked questions
later, especially if he ended up fucking stabbed and knew that he was sending
this child to his death. He didn’t want to think if the kid already knew that
it was a suicide mission or he somehow thought that someone was going to save
him last second.
“We need to go to HQ,” Hanji suddenly said, it most likely wasn’t the first
time that she said that because she slightly shook him to get his attention.
“I’m not going there,” Levi quickly told her.
He didn’t need everyone in the Recon to know that he was personally attacked.
That they managed to get him and from what he could tell, a deep injury.
“Levi, stop being fucking stubborn and letting your pride get in the way, our
Strongest can get injured too-” Hanji began.
“This is between me, you, and Erwin. No one else can know. What do you think
will happen to our recruits if they see that I got injured by the Garrison?
They’ll fucking retaliate and there will be a full-blown war between them and
the Recon. Pixis wouldn’t be able to resolve it or do anything to stop it,” he
argued, finding it harder to breathe as he continued.
He turned his head to see Hanji fighting herself and trying to decide what was
best for Levi, not as her friend but as her patient.
“Fine,” she finally agreed. “Just get in the fucking car before you start to
bleed out.”
He was forced into the passenger seat and forced to hand over his keys, even in
the state he was in, he still felt like he would be the better driver. As she
started to speed away from the scene, he saw that the child laying on the
ground wasn’t moving anymore and had grown stiff.
 
He regretted ever giving Hanji the wheel. It felt like she was aiming for every
pothole and crack in the road, making Levi hiss in pain at every bump. He
wanted to feel his wound but knew he would earn a slap on the wrist if he even
attempted to move or adjust in his seat. Thankfully she still listened to him
because she didn’t go behind his back and drive them to HQ, something that he
would raise hell about, and drove them to the closest emergency center. She
allowed him to call Erwin at least, but that was it, and it only happened
because he wouldn’t let her drive and talk on the phone. She gets distracted
easily already, he didn’t need her accidentally crashing and making his injury
worse.
From the way that she was reacting, not being in full doctor mood, that the
weapon wasn’t too deep inside of him and that it wasn’t life threatening...at
the moment. However, he knew how quickly something like this could turn for the
worse if he moved a certain way or accidentally bumped into it. He tried his
hardest to stay exactly the way she placed him in the car, facing her and
barely sitting in the seat, not letting his upper half bend in any way.
They arrived at the center shortly and though he wanted to get out of the car
and quickly get the fucking weapon out of his body, he waited for Hanji’s
instructions. No one was on the streets as she helped him out of the car,
either sleeping or partying at the many nightclubs that they passed to get
here. Each step send waves of pain through his body as Hanji punched the code
in and helped him through the door. She left him next to the metal table as she
grabbed all the equipment and bandages that she would need before instructing
him to carefully lay on his side. Every movement was almost agonizing and even
though he’s had worst injuries, ones that almost had him at death’s door, each
one felt worse than the last.
She gave him something for the pain and everything became a blur, his body
going into some form of shock but all he could think about was going home and
seeing Eren. It was the only thing preventing him from passing out and he knew
that if he did fall asleep, he would stay asleep until the next day. He
promised that he would be home tonight and he didn’t need to give Eren a reason
to distrust him, especially with the way he had been acting for the past couple
of days.
Eventually, she tapped his shoulder, her signal of saying that she was
finished, and he sat up, even though his body painfully protested. He felt
along his side and there was already a bandage placed where he was stabbed.
“Thankfully it was only a flesh wound,” Hanji explained. “Though I would
recommend staying the night here or at a hospital-”
“I rather recover at my own house and not freak Eren out if I don’t come home.”
“Eren? You mean Loki?”
Fuck.
“You renamed him? I thought you liked the name,” she whined, becoming his
annoying friend rather than his doctor in two seconds.
“Loki didn’t fit him after I got to know him,” Levi quickly lied. “Now, what
the fuck was I stabbed with?”
Puffing her cheeks out like she was trying to hold in more complaints, she
reached behind him and grabbed a plastic bag with the words ‘evidence’ in red
lettering across the front. Inside the bag was a cheap looking knife, nothing
sturdy and durable like the ones that he owned, and it still had bits of his
blood on the blade. He wanted to look at the knife properly but knew that they
needed to get fingerprints off the handle, though they could easily identify
the kid with his body now cold. He just hoped that Erwin managed to get the
body out before people starting leaving and stumbling upon it. They didn’t need
any more drama with everything else that was going on.
“What did he say to you before he went down?” Hanji asked him suddenly.
He looked up at her in surprise, not knowing that she managed to hear something
that the boy said before his neck was punctured by his knife. “It’s not
important...it just confirmed something that everyone knew was true but me,” he
simply answered.
Hanji drove him home after she made sure that he was all stitched up and gave
him specific instructions for taking care of it, though this was the hundredth
time that he’s come home with an injury. Levi could do everything with his eyes
closed and one hand tied behind his back. She promised to get his car deep
cleaned and the blood off of his passenger seat before he came back to work, he
didn’t have the energy to fight with her about dropping him off.
He would prefer her to drop him off with the car and to find her own way home
but after everything that happened, he didn’t want her just waiting outside
while she waited for someone to pick her up. She at least returned his jacket
and he put it on after he slowly got out of the car. He made sure that she left
safely before making his way to the elevator. All he could think about as he
traveled to his floor was seeing Eren again and taking a long, hot shower
before throwing himself onto his bed.
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Notes
     Before I saw anything, Azoria Wolf made some beautiful art for me and
     I may have cried a little bit when I first saw it because I was so
     happy! Give them a bunch of love and support!
     https://azoriawolf.tumblr.com/post/172040379031/whats-left-of-me-by-
     songbird462-all-eren-has
     So this is the last chapter with Eren as a cat...well the last one
     where he spends the majority of his time as his other form! I hope
     you guys enjoy it and don't hate me too much!
No matter how much time he spent outdoors, Eren couldn’t bring the sense of
calm that only came to him when Levi was around. He experienced a glimpse of it
when he first went outside to the chilly air but it was long gone now and no
matter how long he stayed outside, he continued to stay on edge. When Levi had
explained to him that he would be leaving the house once again, his heart sank
because it meant that it was now the time to leave. However, when the front
door had shut and he was left alone, Eren could do nothing but stand outside
and watch the sky turn pink and orange. He didn’t know why but he didn’t want
Levi to go like everything had been going too smoothly for the both of them and
something horrible was going to happen. He would be furious with himself if he
shifted and left, especially if Levi came home hurt and saw that Eren was
nowhere to be seen. Of course, then he would feel stupid if nothing does happen
to him and he just wasted another day because of his irrelevant feelings toward
the man.
He briefly remembered how Levi looked before he left, not letting his mind
wander too much on how great he looked. That weird and foreign feeling emerged
in his gut when he first stumbled into the bedroom. The black suit that fit
snuggly against his form and Eren did try to ignore the unforgotten feeling
that he felt one morning. The one that he couldn’t get out of his head and
filled him full of shame. His mind kept going back to him in the suit even long
after Levi left and wondered if this was normal. If it was normal to feel this
way about someone taking care of you, but he never felt anything like this
toward Petra or Hitch. Of the time that he spent with Petra, she most filled
him in on everything that his mother should have, which he thought was
ridiculous since why would he worry about kissing when he would never escape
his white walls. It led to Eren almost covering his ears and turning bright red
from embarrassment whenever she brought up those conversations. Though, when
she talked about that stuff like kissing and other things that he didn’t want
to think about, she only mentioned it happening between him and a woman.
Everything that he’s seen on television with Levi that deals with any romance
was between a man and woman. Was his desire for something other than
guardianship with Levi abnormal and if it was, then it was another thing he can
add to his ever-growing list of things wrong with him.
By the time he began to grow tired, the sun had gone down long ago and the
outside air now had a bite to it, nipping at the pads of his paws. He had grown
accustomed to the noises of the city down below, it was never silent and he had
to pull himself away before his body became numb from the cold. Thankfully Levi
left the television on or else he would have continued to brave the chill
instead of staying in the warm apartment where it was silent. He tried to close
the glass with his paws but ended up moving it to where it stayed open an inch,
still letting some of the freezing air into the apartment. It was better than
leaving it wide open like it was before but still felt guilty, especially when
his paw prints smudged the glass and left marks on it.
Levi had left him something to eat on his plate, but he didn’t feel hungry, not
when he wondered when he would be home.
Not home. This isn’t my home.
Shaking his head, he wondered if he should sleep in the bed that he and Levi
have been sharing or on the couch. The only thing that was stopping him from
hopping onto the bed, and imprinting Levi’s scent into his head, was that he
didn’t know how to turn on the television in that room. Deciding just to lay on
the couch and watch the screen until he passed out was his option unless he
wanted to be in the dark room. He didn’t know what channel that Levi left the
television on but there were three women talking and it was just boring enough
to act as background noise for him to sleep. His head was pressed into the
pillow that Levi always used as an armrest, breathing his scent and luring him
to sleep.
 
Eren didn’t know what exactly what woke him up, whether it was a sudden noise
from the television or from outside the apartment, but he startled awake. He
realized quickly that it was colder than before in the room and wished that he
managed to close that last inch of the glass doors. Looking at the screen, he
noticed that numbers were displayed on the bottom corner and read that it was
2:38. He stood up them, not knowing exactly what it meant other than that it
was very late, and wondered if Levi managed to come hom-...come back yet.
Breathing in a deep breath, he didn’t pick up a new wave of his scent and Eren
began to worry. He tried to not let it consume him but this was the latest and
longest that Levi had ever left him alone. The last time it took this long, he
had come back with bloodied knuckles though he claimed that it was just a work
injury. He began to pace. Especially when another thirty minutes passed and
there was no sign of anyone moving outside of the apartment.
When he finally heard a familiar ding from what Levi called the elevator, he
raced from the couch and pressed his ear against the door. He could hear
footsteps slowly making their way down to the front door and could barely
recognize them as Levi’s. However, before the pair of footsteps managed to get
to the door, the familiar scent reached him but before relief could flood
through him, a powerful wave of blood slammed into him. It wasn’t like before
where he could tell that Levi had bleed before but it was the tiniest bit. The
scent of blood almost overwhelmed the natural musk that he loved and he wanted
the door to be open now so he could see what was wrong.
The lock turned slowly and when the door opened, Levi stepped in looking paler
than normal and the stench of blood smacking him in the face. He didn’t even
seem to notice Eren almost at his heels as he walked through the apartment and
leaned against the wall window that lead into the kitchen. His usually styled,
black hair was in tufts and a faint layer of sweat coated his forehead.
“Should have fucking listened to Hanji,” he grunted as he pressed the heel of
his palm into his forehead and took in a deep breath.
His green eyes were still intensely scanning every inch of him, trying to find
the source of the bleeding and only noticed that the black suit was slightly
darker than the rest on his one side. He tried to press his nose closer, seeing
if that was where the smell was coming from, but Levi’s hand reached down and
lightly swatted him away. A growl of protest quickly emerged from his throat as
he tried to near it again but Levi turned around and pushed his face away from
him, still having a gentle touch. His face suddenly twisted in pain and gasped
slightly before reaching to hold his side that Eren suspected he was hurt.
“Eren, stop,” he snapped slightly. “Since when did you care?”
That stopped him dead in his tracks. Feeling like a knife was just embedded in
his chest, he watched as Levi almost limped into the bedroom and turned to the
bathroom. The numbness began to spread over him and he knew that he shouldn’t
be feeling this way, especially when he was the one making the distance between
them. He couldn’t help but feel like this was somehow his fault, like him
distancing himself from Levi somehow made him get hurt. A small part of him
knew that it wasn’t but he couldn’t help the guilt consuming him. Wanting to do
something, anything, he made himself follow after Levi.
Seeing that the bathroom door wasn’t completely shut, the gap that was offered
gave him a view of the spotless counter and Levi leaning against it, both of
his hands mostly holding himself up. He breathed deeply a few times before
using his hands to push himself off the counter and began to take off the black
jacket. Eren knew that had been bleeding but he didn’t know how bad until he
saw the dark blood coating his white undershirt. Seeing the blood soaking his
side brought him briefly back to the metal table that he was strapped to daily,
imagining the blood coating his skin like a second layer and he had to shake
his head to bring himself back. He couldn’t go back to that, not when he needed
to do something for Levi.
As he peeled away the white undershirt, even though he hissed and cursed under
his breath at the movement, Eren could see where the source of the bleeding
once was. A thick, white bandage covered most of his side and Eren quickly
growled a protest when he began to pull away at the bandage. He probably wanted
to see how bad it was and he also couldn’t help but want to know.
The wound was stitched with black thread and only ran no more than three inches
across his pale skin but the area around it ran an angry shade of red. Sadly
knowing too much about stitches, he could tell that whoever sewed him up was
friendly with a threat and needle. Though from Levi’s movement, Eren could see
that they were pulling and beginning to loosen. If he kept moving around then
he would continue to make them pull and he would start to bleed again. He
nudged the door open so he could fully go into the bathroom but Levi didn’t
seem to pay him any attention as his eyes trailed over the stitches.
After the shock of seeing the angry looking wound, Eren’s eyes began to drift
off of his side and discovered familiar white lines that littered his pale
skin. Scars peppered Levi’s back and front, some drifting to his arms but the
majority of it remained on his chest. Something pulled at his own chest then
and he wanted to know every story associated with each scar. He wanted to show
that he also had scars and knowing that they actually shared something in
common, made him feel more connected to the man in front of him. Even if he was
trying everything in his power to still detach himself from him, Eren knew that
he’d never completely forget about Levi. Then his gaze traveled past the scars
and onto the well-built muscles. Shaking his head suddenly, he felt frustrated
with himself, knowing that Levi was injured and he was ogling over the man’s
built.
“Fuck,” he suddenly muttered to himself.
Eren focused back on the man standing in front of the mirror. He leaned against
the counter once again but his head hung as his hands turned into fists. His
knuckles became bone white as he continued to tighten them more.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck!” he growled, becoming louder and louder before
punching the wall closest to him.
Glass shattered onto the floor as a web of broken mirror spiraled around his
fist. Eren’s heart landed in his throat, panic spiking through him as he
remembered the violence that had once surrounded him by his previous guards.
Pushing the fear and panic down and knowing that Levi would never hurt him,
another growl ruptured through his throat, louder than before. He just hoped
that Levi understood that it was his way of saying ‘stop’ rather than
threatening him. He wished he could shift so that he could properly saying what
he wanted to say, but growling and chirping was the closest he could come to at
the moment.
When Levi pulled his fist from the mirror, pieces of glass fell and landed on
the counter. He could see that blood remained on some of the pieces, meaning
that Levi must have split his knuckles, making Eren run over to his side and
try to find some way to help. He watched as Levi leaned against the nearest
wall, thankful that it wasn’t covered in the pieces of mirror, and slid down to
where he sat against the wall. He hung his head once again and placed it into
his awaiting hands near his knees. His right hand had blood dripping down his
arm but he didn’t seem to mind or care.
What happened?
Eren moved his eyes to his side, seeing that blood was beginning to leak from
the stitches but before another growl or chirp could escape from him, he
actually looked at Levi. The palm of his heels dug into his eyes and he found
water dripping from his wrists but quickly came to the realization that it
wasn’t water but tears. His rock and savior was crying. A quiet chirp made its
way out and that finally seemed to get his attention.
His beautiful Levi looked exhausted, the dark circles under his eyes turning
almost purple and the liquid silver he began to love was dull. Tear streaks
stained his cheeks and ran down his neck. His face was cold and emotionless
until his eyes suddenly began to burn with rage. Eren could quickly tell that
the anger that quickly engulfed him wasn’t directed at him, but at whoever did
this to him. Whoever dared to injure him and Eren fought to keep the same anger
from emerging from him. However deep the hatred that filled his eyes was a
sorrow that was pushing for control, the two emotions clashing against each
other. It was almost like he suddenly realized that tears were escaping because
he started wiping at his face, trying to get rid of them while getting blood on
his check from his still bleeding hand. Eren did the only thing he thought he
could do, something that he’s been purposely avoiding for days now but couldn’t
leave Levi like this, he stepped closer to him and pressed his body against
Levi’s. He stepped in between his legs, using his head to move Levi’s arm to
the side and nuzzled into his neck. Levi seemed to completely freeze at the
contact, probably wondering what the hell had gotten into him but it took
seconds before the man wrapped his arms around him. He could feel his fur
becoming damp from where Levi pressed his face into him and could already guess
that blood was smearing his fur too. Eren wished that he could return the
embrace, to wrap his actual arms around him and hold him like he was being
held.
“Fuck,” Levi whispered, cursing once again. “Fuck Furlan.”
His ears perked up at the name, remembering that it was the childhood friend of
Levi’s and tried to put together why he was cursing the man. He had clumps of
his fur in his fingers and when he tightened them once again, Eren could feel
his skin stretching, and he knew that the split knuckles were getting worse.
Mind racing, knowing that he could bandage the man himself, he tried to think
of another way of helping him when an idea struck him.
The moments he spent in the white lab were always forced into the back of his
mind, buried deep but never completely forgotten. Though he suddenly remembered
that they used his saliva to see how much faster he healed with it’s help
compared to his ‘normal’ healing speed. He never thought that it would work on
anything but himself, however, it couldn’t hurt to try. Especially if the
injury on Levi’s side continued to bleed and open.
It took a few tries but he finally managed to pull himself out of Levi’s tight
embrace. Confusion etched the man’s face when he pulled away and continued to
consume his face once Eren moved toward his injured hand. Knowing that Levi
would most likely freak out and pull away if he moved too slowly, he ran his
large tongue over the cuts on his knuckles before he lost his own courage. The
familiar and unpleasant taste of iron coated his tongue and quickly the rest of
his mouth. He always hated the way that it covered everything and no matter how
much he drank, the taste wouldn’t leave his mouth. It briefly brought back
memories that he quickly repressed, trying to focus on the man in front of him
instead of the horrors playing out in his mind. Of the lab coats forcing
unknown liquids and blood down his throat and seeing how his body reacted, how
quickly his body fought whatever diseases they pumped into him.
Levi reacted the way he thought he was going to. Even with how exhausted and
upset he looked, he liked being clean and having Eren run his tongue over an
open wound was probably the opposite of clean in his mind.
“Eren!” he gasped, quickly yanking his hand away from his tongue and almost
staring at him in horror.
If he wasn’t anxiously waiting for the steam to begin raising from Levi’s
knuckles, he probably would have laughed at his wide eyes and dropped jaw.
“That’s fucking disgusting,” he groaned. “Why would you do that?”
He chose to stare at the hand he unceremonially licked and ignored Levi’s rant
about how much germs were probably in his mouth.
His mood seemed to turn quick.
Though he didn’t appreciate being called disgusting, even if it was just
describing the action that he just made but he was pleased to see that Levi’s
eyes weren’t engulfed in anger and sorrow. Even if some of the sadness
remained, the majority of it was replaced by annoyance. Relief flooded his
chest once he saw steam emerge from Levi’s knuckles, that he didn’t annoy him
for no reason and there now was a way to actually help him. The steam was
mostly unnoticed by Levi until he must have spotted it out of the corner of his
eye. His eyes, that were already wide from Eren licking his open wound, grew to
an impossible size as he watched his skin stitch together.
Eren waited patiently for his reaction but from everything else that he had
learned about him, his intelligence and healing ability, he could only hope
that Levi would take this well too. However, there had to be a limit to what he
could take. This ability wasn’t that different from his ‘regular’ healing
ability, just this one he can share with other people, but his ability to shift
would probably be the one that pushes him over the edge. When the last bit of
steam vanished from his skin and almost back to normal, he used his fingers to
trace where his injuries used to be. Where the skin stitched together, the area
around it was an angry pink and he was happy to note that it didn’t scar. He
knew that the one on his side if he healed it, would turn into a scar but at
least there wasn’t a chance of infection or bleeding when he’d be done.
While Levi was still fascinated by his newly grown skin over his knuckles, Eren
moved out from in between his legs and looked at the still bleeding cut. It
wasn’t to the point that the blood was pooling out around him but it had been
worse than the last time he looked. He noticed, happy with whoever stitched him
up, that they used similar ones that the lab coats frequently used on him. The
ones that didn’t need to be professionally taken out but dissolved over time
and fell off. The only thing he had been worried about was that they would have
to remove the stitches, which involved opening him up again. He would still
heal him though, especially when Levi looked like he could barely move an inch
off the floor and Eren didn’t know how to operate a phone to call for help.
He repeated the action that Levi called disgusting, the iron continuing to
build up in his mouth and the feeling of wire from the stitches running across
his tongue almost made him want to gag. Levi jerked slightly from the contact,
probably because his tongue was slightly rough, something he learned from Petra
after she told him when she wanted to know more about his animal form. Stepping
away once he made sure that he coated the cut fully and saw that Levi had moved
his attention to his side. He seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for the
steam to start appearing like how it did on his own hand. Moments passed before
it eventually started steaming.
Once his flesh stitched together just like the one on his hand, Levi did the
exact same thing that he did with his knuckles, he started stroking the now
scar with his fingers. Probably still trying to prove to himself that the wound
healed already and all that was left was a new scar.
“How?” Levi whispered.
I’m a freak, that’s how.
 
Levi took everything the way that he expected him to, quietly thinking things
over in his mind and just accepting it. He didn’t know how he did it. Just go
back to normal and pretend that Eren wasn’t a freak when he clearly was. Maybe
it was the fact that he couldn’t speak for himself and that’s why he wasn’t
grilling him. It would be hard to explain everything if the only thing he could
do was growl and chirp. Though he would never be able to explain everything
because next time Levi left, he would be gone and out of his life forever. A
pain struck at his heart a moment later, he wanted to rub at his chest to help
it go away but looking at Levi made it worse.
The pain continued when he thought of how much pain Levi would have been in,
knowing how much it hurt to pull stitches and have open wounds.
“Thank you,” Levi suddenly spoken up. “I don’t think that I would have been
able to stitch myself back up...not in the state that I am in now.”
Not knowing how to respond, he just nodded to make it know that he understood
and the pain in his chest began to subside then.
“We definitely can’t tell Hanji about this...she is already too excited about
your healing ability,” he started, talking to himself more than Eren.
Of the few times that actually meet Hanji, he could understand what he meant.
The first time, she mostly broke into the apartment to see him and relentlessly
searched for him until Levi came to stop her. She probably only knew about his
healing abilities and nothing of his intelligence for an animal. She didn’t
need another reason to break into Levi’s house.
“Furlan ordered a hit on me,” Levi confessed suddenly.
He heard that term before but only on certain shows that he watched with Levi,
and they were the ones that he said were fake. His head tilted slightly,
confused on what he meant. Levi looked up at him before reaching across to run
his still bloody fingers against his cheek and letting out a deep sigh. His
face seemed to twist in pain, but it couldn’t be from his injuries since they
were already healed up, just tender if it was anything like what happened to
him. It must be with whatever he was admitting to himself and Eren wanted to
tell him that he didn’t have to say anything, he didn’t have to explain why he
came home with the scent of blood almost overpowering his own.
“He sent someone after me...christ he was just a kid,” he continued, raking a
hand through his hair and ended up grabbed a fist full of it. “He sent a kid
after me.”
Still confused but seeing the struggle that was conflicting Levi, he moved
closer to him and pressed his head against his shoulder. Hoping to pull some of
the attention onto him so Levi wasn’t overthinking and become trapped in his
own head. He wrapped an arm around Eren and ended up running his fingers
through the fur around the back of his neck.
“We’ve survived through so much together...somehow managed to live in the slums
as children and this is what I get for showing compassion. I literally get
stabbed in the back,” he ranted.
He then placed his head on top of Eren’s, burying his face in it and letting
out another deep breath, like he was trying to get a hold of his emotions once
again.
“Erwin always warned me that Furlan was the jealous type and I didn’t believe
him...not until I was chosen to be his second in command and that’s when they
disappeared. Gone, along with everything they owed in our apartment together,
like they never existed. He claimed that I changed, that I replaced him and
Izzy with Erwin and Hanji, but that couldn’t be the further from the truth.
Nothing could replace the two of them and I don’t think anyone ever will,” Levi
poured out of him. This was probably another thing that he’s never told anyone,
just like the past that he shared with the same two people he now spoke of. “I
couldn’t believe that Furlan was the mastermind behind the attacks on us...I
wouldn’t. No matter how much evidence was piling toward the actual truth...I
refused to see it.”
His hold on Eren tightened and even though he was trying to understand that was
pouring out of Levi at the moment, he stayed quiet so that he could continue.
If he stopped him then he wouldn’t get what he needed off his chest.
“Furlan tried everything to get Shadis’ attention, to prove himself as
something other than bastard children that he picked off the street. He matched
me at combat and intelligence but was too emotional...maybe that was why as
Shadis laid dying that he specifically chose me as Erwin’s second. Of course,
Erwin had already picked me but needed Shadis’ approval. When they announced
Erwin as the successor and me as second in command, that was the first time
that Furlan ever snapped to. He had mostly been avoiding me for months and when
I tried to talk to him, he ranted that he couldn’t compete against me before
disappearing with Izzy...I haven’t seen him since then...I never saw him as my
competition but as my brother, the same way I thought he saw me...but I guess
that's just the way I viewed it.”
Eren continued to listen to everything that poured out of him, every detail he
could absorb, things Levi’s never told anyone and only kept to himself for
years. He was putting an image of what Levi was like outside of these walls,
that he put up a front to everyone around him and only showed his true colors
to him. He took everything in because when he left, it was the only thing that
he allowed himself to take from this.
Next time Levi leaves...I’m leaving too.
 
He didn’t know how long they both sat on the tiled floor but it was enough for
both of their limbs and butts to go numb. Before he was ushered out of the
bathroom so Levi could take a shower and change, he rubbed the blood that
managed to get on Eren’s fur with a wet rag. He would have apparently preferred
to give him a bath but it was late and he admitted that he was dead on his
feet. Eren didn’t have to wait long for his shower to end and he emerged from
the bathroom with a trail of steam behind him, dressed already in sweatpants
and his usual black long-sleeved shirt. Turning on the television, he slid into
his bed but continued to hold up the blanket he was under like he was waiting
for Eren to slide in with him.
“Don’t fight me on this, Eren,” Levi mumbled, sounding like he was already
falling asleep.
Deciding to not do exactly that, he climbed onto the bed and went underneath
the blanket with him. Before he could probably arrange himself, planning on
putting his back against Levi so he didn’t make himself feel weird, he was
grabbed and forced down onto the bed. Not enough force that would have probably
send him into a panic attack, but the action did squeeze his heart painfully,
remembering being held down by his guards and thrown onto his bed. The pain in
his chest turned into something altogether when he realized that Levi’s face
was inches from his own. Heat bloomed throughout his face and chest and he
couldn’t decide if he wanted to move closer or further away. He chose not to
move mostly for the fact that it looked like Levi already passed out, the
fastest that he’s ever seen him fall asleep. The line that had etched its way
into his forehead over the past hour or so remained, even though it was barely
there. Whatever haunted him since he got home still bothered him in his sleep
and all Eren could do to make himself feel better was snuggling up closer to
him. Resting his head underneath Levi’s chin, causing the man’s loose hold on
him to tighten slightly so he couldn’t move away.
He wished then that he could stay for as long as Levi would have him. To stay
in this man’s arms and not worry about the lab coats that could be close behind
him. Though he worried about the foreign feelings he was developing for Levi
too, he had felt something remotely close for Petra, but he never wanted to
kiss her or anything close to the intimate things plaguing his mind with Levi.
Immediately pushing those said thought away, he closed his eyes and tuned out
the soft voices that came out of the television, focusing on instead of the
gentle breathing of the man in front of. It quickly lured him to sleep and he
welcomed the darkness that awaited him, no white hallways or bloodied mothers
plagued his dreams that night.
 
Levi stayed in bed for most of the next day, only getting up when Eren’s and
his stomach began to growl, and he didn’t know why. He’d never seen him stay in
bed past ten in the morning and always complained when he did. However, it
didn’t seem like he minded and he dozed on and off all day long. Eren wasn’t
sure if it was because what happened yesterday really struck a chord in Levi or
if it was the stress of his body healing too quickly than it was used to. He
was betting on both actually.
He stayed by his side the whole day, moving wherever Levi went, except when he
went into the bathroom of course. It seemed to make him feel better, a faint
smile crossing his face when he saw that Eren was chasing after him. It was
honestly an apology for the past couple of days and for what he was going to do
next time. An added bonus was that it seemed to raise Levi’s spirit. He tried
not to feel proud about that but no matter how many times he reminded himself
that he could be leaving tomorrow, it wouldn’t die in his chest.
It didn’t help that Levi was also extra clingy as well. He always was keeping
contact with him, whether it was simply laying a hand on him while he sat up
and watched television with Eren or wrapping an arm around his waist while he
slept. It surprised Eren how much it didn’t bother him, that he enjoyed every
touch that he received from the man. He was savoring everything that he could
get. More purrs managed to erupt through him and Levi managing to pull them out
of him with a few strokes of his fingers. It seemed like he was trying to
reassure himself that he wasn’t bored just laying around all day.
Throughout the day, there was a conflict deep inside of him. He was trying to
come up with more reasons to stay. That Furlan could send more people after
Levi and he could help protect him, though that ended with him wondering how
he’d even fight in this form. He could barely do anything in his human form
too, but that was when he was half-starved and malnourished. Maybe he’d stand a
chance on two feet...but Levi has never seen him in human form and didn’t even
know that he could shift. Everything always went back to that he hasn’t shown
Levi that he was actually human...well as human as he could be and that the lab
coats would eventually come after him.
Petra warned him that they would hunt him down, they kept him alive for this
long so he was important to them in some way. They wouldn’t just let him leave
and they were so quick to kill anyone that helped him, that he was worried for
Levi’s sake. From what Eren could put together, Levi had some form of power
than the average person, but it wouldn’t be enough to stop them. Nothing would
stop them until they found him or he was dead, and he didn’t lose so many
people just to end up dead. He needed to leave not just for his own safety, but
for Levi’s as well. Petra gave him a place that was capable of taking care of
him and making sure that they never found him again. That’s what she promised
anyways, he just hoped that he showed up and immediately turned away at the
door. He didn’t know what he’d do if that happened and when his thoughts
traveled down that road, his chest tightened and a quiet panic would creep into
it. He would have to remind himself that he would worry about it when he got to
that and that there was no use panicking over something that possibly wouldn’t
happen.
Their little bubble of peace was interrupted just as the sun began to set with
Levi’s phone buzzing annoying amount of times in a row. Eren had been in the
middle of watching him taking the third nap that day, his face slightly
scrunching up from whatever he dreamed about, and he actually jumped at the
sudden noise and vibration. Levi immediately shot up, already in full alert and
eyes searching for trouble before he heard the phone vibrate once again.
Letting out a deep sigh, he fell back onto his bed and grabbed Eren before
pulling him next to him, completely ignoring the phone. A quiet chirp came out
of his throat, mostly questioning him if he was going to ignore the phone that
kept vibrating on and off.
“Shh, if you ignore it then it’ll go away,” he groaned, pulling Eren closer to
him so he could press his face into his fur.
It didn’t go away like he said it would, it continued for at least five minutes
and Levi actually growled as he sat up and snatched the phone off the side
table. Slamming a finger on the screen after rolling his eyes at whoever has
been bothering them, he placed the phone to his ear.
“What Hanji?” he lightly snapped, rubbing his fingers on the bridge of his
nose, something Eren picked up when he was getting or already annoyed.
“I wanted to make sure you didn’t bleed out in the middle of the night, this is
the thanks that I get for stitching you up?” Eren could hear her laughing from
the small device.
“I’ve been sleeping all day, recovering, like I should be doing right now.”
He absentmindedly reached across the bed to start twirling Eren’s fur with his
finger, something that he didn’t mind at all. “Maybe you should get stabbed
more often, you’ll actually get some sleep.”
“Yeah, I rather have that not happen.”
“How’s it looking? Did you change the bandage and check the stitches?”
Levi suddenly froze his movement with his fur and it hit him too. How was he
going to explain how his injury most healed overnight when it should take weeks
before it was properly healed? Eren wondered if he should have just left it and
made Levi call her so she could have fixed the stitches but he didn’t regret
healing him. Though now he was in a tough situation with Hanji.
“Levi?” she questioned.
“Yeah, I did,” he lied. “Everything’s looking good.”
“You’re never this upbeat, usually it’s a ‘fuck you’ and a ‘stop calling my
goddamn phone,’ specially if you get injured.”
“That’s what happens when I have more than four hours of sleep and have someone
that I actually enjoy spending time with.”
His heart broke a little at that. “You saying that you don’t love me?”
“Goodbye, Hanji.”
“Oh! Wait, wait, wait!”
Levi had to pull the phone away from his ear for a second because of her sudden
screaming and he gave Eren a look like he wanted to murder her.
“What?” he snapped once again.
“Tomorrow Erwin wants to see you and I know you don’t like people coming over
to your house-” she started.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow is too soon.
If Levi left the apartment tomorrow then that would mean that he would be gone
too. He hoped that he would have maybe three or four days to spend with Levi,
not barely one. “He wants to come in, doesn’t he? He knows that I just got
stabbed last night right?”
“It’s not that bad...unless you want to tell me something that could have made
it worse?”
“It’s fine, Hanji.”
“It’s about what happened last night with you and the recruits want to hear
everything from your mouth. Like you said last night if they think that your
injury is worse than it is, then knowing them, they’re going to try and take
down every Garrison that they can find. You and Erwin are the lifeline of the
Recon, if one of you go down then they will do anything to avenge you.”
“Loyal bastards.”
There was no malice in his voice but rather sympathy as he took a deep breath,
pressing the hand that once was running through his fur now into his forehead
as he thought.
“Why didn't he ask me personally?” Levi asked her.
“You wouldn’t have picked up,” she simply said.
“Damn right I wouldn’t have.”
“Since I have your car still, I’ll pick you up.”
“Just text me the details later. Now, let your patient sleep.”
“Good night, Mr. Grumpy.”
Levi tossed his phone onto the bed and ruffled his hair, a frown now consuming
his face.
“What do we do about this?” he asked Eren, pointing to his side where there
should be an injury. “She’ll be persistent to see it. I’ll probably have to
tell her...god she’s going to be a pain.”
Eren half-heartedly listened to his ranting about how Hanji was going to make
his life a living hell after she finds out, but all he could think about was
that he had less than a day to spend with him.
 
The day passed too quickly and even though Levi didn’t succumb to sleep until
later in the night, he still didn’t move that much out of bed. His body was
still recovering and Eren had to remind himself that when he healed himself for
the first couple of times, his body reacted the same way. It was a normal
reaction but he wished that he spent more hours with an awake Levi since he
went to bed pretty early for them too. What made it worse was that he was
already getting dressed to leave when began to wake up.
He was dressed in fitting dark jeans that hugged his thighs and a dark grey
long-sleeved sweater. Levi was in the bathroom when he fully came to his senses
and realized that he would be the last view moments he would have with him.
Immediately jumping off the bed, he rushed to his side, breathing in his scent
and filing it deep in his memories so he wouldn’t forget.
“Morning,” Levi greeted him by reaching down and rubbing the top of his head
before returning to fix his hair and brush his teeth.
The morning routine passed too quickly for Eren’s liking, even when he tried to
eat as slow as he could, Levi consumed his breakfast faster than normal and
because he wanted to be at his side for the remainder of the time, he abandoned
his food to follow him around. When he managed to stand still for more than two
seconds, either looking for something he needed or staring down at whatever was
on his phone, Eren rubbed his head and neck against the man’s leg. Trying to
get the last bit of contact that both of them were going to receive. Everytime
that he did, Levi would reach down and pet him before going back to whatever he
was doing. It surprised him how the constant rubbing and trying to get his
attention wasn’t bothering Levi, but rather he seemed to enjoy. Especially with
the last couple of days, he would barely look at him.
“I’ll be back in about two hours, I don’t plan on staying for very long,” Levi
suddenly said after looking up from his phone.
He had sitting on the couch while scrolling through his phone, probably taking
in all the emails that he missed yesterday and the night before. Eren had
planted himself right next to his feet, placing his head on Levi’s knees as he
had used one hand to swipe and reply on his phone and the other to rub behind
his ears, earning him a deep purr. Every minute that passed by, his heart grew
heavy and his eyes grew foggy with unshed tears but held them back in so Levi
wouldn’t take more time to ask him what’s wrong. When Levi began to get up,
Eren, without thinking, put more of his weight down on him so that it almost
made him fall back onto the couch.
“Eren, come on,” he chuckled slightly. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
But I won’t be here.
When he attempted to stand back up, he used his actual strength and easily
moved him to the side. As he walked closer to the front door, every step he
took almost felt like a needle to his heart. Paining him more and more as he
walked farther away from him. He chased after the man and watched helplessly as
he grabbed his keys and other things that he stuck in his pockets. As a last
resort to make him stay for a bit longer, when Levi reached for the knob of the
front door, Eren snagged his sleeve with his teeth, yanking his hand away from
it.
“Eren, really?” he asked, a hint of annoyance beginning to thread into his
voice. “I know that you’re probably worried about me but it’s getting a little
much. Now, stop and wait for me like a good boy.”
With those final words, he left.
 
Eren had his head pressed against the front door for god knows how long. His
body long becoming numb, from sitting on the floor for so long or the fact that
he would never see Levi again, or maybe it was both. Silent tears had been
darkening the fur around his eyes and he felt it completely soaking his fur. He
probably sat there not as long as he thought he did but it still felt like an
eternity. Eventually, he told himself to stop feeling sorry and wishing that
Levi would just magically appear back in the apartment, and do what he needed
to do.
Deciding to shift on the bed so that at least he’d be comfortable while going
through agonizing pain, he headed into the bedroom. He sat in the center of the
soft bed, looking around the room one last time through the eyes that he had
now. He knew that he wouldn’t have long to leave after he shifted, mostly
because he didn’t know how long it would take to make himself leave. Letting
out a deep breath, he let himself go and welcomed the shift.
The heat was almost as uncomfortable as the waves of his muscles contracting,
and bones snapping and reforming. It’s never been as bad as the first time that
he was forced to shift, the first one that he could remember anyway. When he
didn’t shift back and forth regularly, at least once a week, then the first
shift was always the hardest. Still, the pain wasn’t as bad as what he felt in
his chest. He apologized over and over again in his head to Levi, asking his
forgiveness for leaving, for going to make him sick with worry about his pet.
The immense amount of pain that made him stop mid-shift didn’t appear, probably
because he actually needed to leave and actually believed that he had to go.
Too soon was the shift completed, his fingers tightly gripping the bed sheets
as the last of his muscles constricted and began to lightly spasm. A groan
slipped past his lips as his sweat covered body collapsed onto the soft bed
below him. He turned his head slightly to breath in the scent that he began to
love, making his body and muscles relax. Moving at first was such a weird and
foreign feeling that he needed a second to just slightly move his limbs,
getting them used to their movements again. His bare feet touched the carpet,
feeling softer than it did against his paws, and when he first tried to stand
up, he landed right back on the bed.
Fuck.
He looked down at his scared-feet, his toes still a shade lighter than his skin
from the electricity that he could still feel phantom pains of if he stood on
his feet for too long and long scars across the top of his right foot. They
wanted to see if he could regrow or reconnect the tendons in his foot,
something that still made it freeze up randomly, like it never truly recovered.
He willed them to work, begged them to work with him so he could leave as soon
as possible. Though he needed to stumble across the room to grab some clothes
since walking around naked probably wasn’t the best, especially when it was
cold outside.
While he waited for his legs to wake up and actually function, he felt his
body, making sure that his shift didn’t miss anything, something happened more
than once. He would feel for his ears and find that they’re further up than
normal and fluffy, his animal ears still remaining or his tail still there.
That was the first thing he felt for but just found smooth skin instead. Next,
he looked at his hands, seeing that the same scars that covered his toes still
covered his fingertips that almost traveled to his knuckles. His chipped and
uneven nails weren’t long and clawed, much to his relief. While his hands
traveled to his ears, his tongue traced over his teeth, searching for the long
canines that could puncture his lower lip if he wasn’t careful and found
nothing. Noticing that his ears were normal and that his hair was still greased
and long enough to brush his shoulders, he searched for where he was shot
before coming here. He found it certainly fast, one of the few scars that were
circular and it had another one that ran straight through it. It was probably
when Hanji cut him open to get the bullet out from his stomach when they first
found him. He thought another quiet thank you to her and Levi before trying to
stand up one more time.
His legs finally decided to work with him and he didn’t have that much trouble
reaching the dresser that he’s seen Levi take clothes out of. The first drawer
was socks and undergarments, something he didn’t want to take from Levi.
Honestly, he didn’t want to take anything but he couldn’t leave naked. He
grabbed a black shirt and one of Levi’s many grey sweatpants that he owned. As
he stepped into his clothes, he had been so used to mostly walking around naked
with fur for so long that the cotton and cloth felt weird against his skin.
Realizing that he was shorter than Levi because the shirt was almost comical
how it hung to his mid-thigh and barely held onto him. Thankfully the
sweatpants were elastic and secure around his small waist and thin ankles. He
already noticed that even though he gained some fat and weight from staying
here, his wrists were still paper thin and so was the rest of his body. Rubbing
his wrists, feeling the scars that ran down his inner forearm and deciding if
he wanted to see if he could find shoes that would fit him or just go barefoot.
He’s gone barefoot for as long as he could remember and if nothing that Levi
owned seemed to fit him, then most likely his shoes wouldn’t work for him
either. Hopefully, he just didn’t injure his foot or anything while he looked
for the building that he still couldn’t completely remember the name, just that
it was one of the largest buildings in the city.
He ran through his head of whether he should take any food, not knowing how
long he was honestly going to be running around, but he couldn’t bring himself
to go through Levi’s food. Not when he’s already going to be stealing his
clothes. He wondered if he’d be able to return them somehow, to find Levi again
and possibly introduce himself once again but actually as himself and not an
animal. As he took in the familiar room around him, the hole in his heart, that
he tried to desperately to ignore, continued to widen, eating everything in its
way. Before he summoned the willpower that would be needed to make himself
leave his haven, he grabbed the shirt that Levi wore to bed and brought it up
to his nose. It was the last time that he was going to be smelling this
soothing scent and he had to commit it to memory. He didn’t want Levi to become
like his mother, that he couldn’t remember anything about her. Couldn’t imagine
her voice, her smile, nothing. He couldn’t let Levi become that, just another
faceless memory that tormented him in the middle of the night.
A noise of a sharp whistle made Eren’s head spin toward the door and what he
found made the shirt slip through his fingers. The man that he was desperately
trying to avoid in this form and leave behind was now standing in the doorway
of the bedroom with a silver gun pointed at him.
Oh no. Oh no, no, no!
“Care to explain how you got into my house?” Levi asked him.
Everything about the man in front of him was nothing like the one that he’s
been growing to cherish and lov... no he wouldn’t like himself finish that
thought. This man was cold, a lethal predator that had his hard, steel eyes
lasered on him. Taking in every breath that he took and probably calculating
how overwhelmed Eren was with his whole being shaking almost violently.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was never supposed to be like this.
“Are you too scared to talk or just stupid?” he snapped.
He actually flinched at that words that were thrown his way.
He wanted his Levi back. The one that held him during his panic attacks, who
stopped them before they even came crashing into his chest. The one that had to
be in constant physical contact with him for the past two days, his body too
tired after he saved his life. Tears began to blur his vision and he couldn’t
do anything to stop them from their silent downfall. From what he could see,
the tears had no effect on the man and actually looked a little irritated to
see them.
“I’m going to ask you one more time, why are you in my house?” Levi questioned
once again.
The more he spoke, the more his voice became more calm, cold and unmoving. He
didn’t understand how he could be so calm with a gun in his hand. The one time
that himself held a gun was a mess and it was a miracle he managed to save
Petra from his previous bodyguard. Suddenly the image of the bald man laying on
the floor, blood and pink matter splattering the floor and himself, made him
almost vomit in his mouth. He tried to push the images out but it continued to
overtake him and even replacing the man’s body with his own. Though he wasn’t
in the white hallways but on the carpet that his own feet touched now. Levi
could kill him and he’d never know what happened to his pet, he’d never know
that the one he gunned down was the same being.
He opened his mouth, hoping to diffuse the situation but found nothing coming
out. He hadn’t used his voice in so long, he didn’t even know if he could speak
properly. Trying once again, the only thing that came out with a pathetic
wheeze and high pitched whine.
“Furlan sent a mute child after me,” Levi suddenly whispered to himself.
“Another kid for me to kill.”
He shook his head and tried to open his mouth once again, trying to deny any
involvement with Furlan. Eren would never involve himself with that man, the
man that broke Levi apart and sent someone to hurt one of the most important
people in Eren’s life. He wouldn’t want to even breath in the same air as the
man.
Eren could see the calmness that he once had, flickered to the same anger that
plagued his eyes the night he was stabbed. It was there for more than a few
moments and Eren shrunk onto himself, trying to make his already small body,
even more, tinier, showing Levi that he wasn’t the threat. The anger faded
away, even though he could still see it behind the false calm Levi placed over
himself.
“Levi,” he managed to whisper even though it barely sounded like his name.
He wanted to explain everything to him, about who he truly was but he honestly
didn’t know if Levi would actually listen to him. He knew that Eren as an
animal had abilities beyond what a normal cat would be able to do, but changing
into a human was pushing it too far. He would never believe him unless he
shifted and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to, not for at least another few
more hours. If he managed to even shift, he’d probably pass out right after
shifting or a few minutes after, he body not being able to handle that much
stress in one day.
When he said Levi’s name, his eyes refocused onto Eren and readjusted his hold
on the gun that was still pointing straight at his chest.
“Get out,” he finally ordered.
Not completely sure if he heard what Levi said correctly, his body continued to
tremble.
“You’re just a kid that he’s sending out to the slaughter. Now get the fuck out
of here before I change my mind,” he commanded.
He cocked his gun while he spoke, making Eren imagine those white walls again,
of the blood that spilled in the hallway because of him, because of his desire
to not be trapped anymore. He was consumed with those images that now wanted to
be present, wanted to be known again. For him to remember what he’s done to
others so he could escape, to remember the people that died so he could leave.
The next thing he knew, the unforgettable sound of a gunshot filled his
sensitive ears and he honestly didn’t know if it was some form of trauma of
seeing a gun pointed at him once again or if Levi actually fired at him, but he
would never hurt him. However, when pain bloomed in his arm, a discomfort
slamming into his bones and he realized that Levi could indeed hurt him. Being
forced out of the white walls, he instinctively grabbed for the pain. Looking
down at his arm, he saw blood flowing down to his wrists and coating his
fingers with the red liquid.  His wide eyes turn toward the man who shot him,
who no longer was Levi who took care of him and he couldn’t stop the tears that
continued to cascade down his face.
“I said get the fuck out of my house,” he breathed through his teeth.
Not knowing what else to do, he ran. The apartment that once had been his haven
flashed by him as he slammed the front door open, revealing a long hallway with
two doors near the end. His brain mostly shutting down on him, the only command
that it giving was to run and he threw himself into the first door that he saw.
The door gave away and revealed stairs that seemed to go on and on forever as
he looked over the edge. As he slammed into each wall, running and tripping
over himself to get to the lowest floor, he didn’t care that his muscles were
screaming at him to stop. That it was too early for him to be using this much
energy so soon after a shift and his legs weren’t ready. Eventually, the
numbness of everything that happened in that small bedroom took over his body,
taking away the pain that grasped onto his being and only left behind the ache
of his heart being torn apart every time he thought of Levi’s cold eyes staring
at him.
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you for all the comments from the last chapter! I've never
     received so many comments in one day and didn't completely realize
     how much this fanfic was loved until I went through all the comments.
     So I wanted to thank you all for stumbling upon this fanfic and
     giving it a chance!
He couldn’t find Eren.
No matter where he looked, he couldn’t find the large cat and he was worried
that the fucker that came into his apartment let him out. However, it wasn’t
like he could have gone anywhere, he could barely reach the elevator and
doubted that he’s ever seen one in his life. Also, the stairs door was closed
when he came back up to grab some papers that Erwin messaged him about. He had
to be somewhere in the apartment. Searching in almost ridiculous places, places
where Eren’s large body couldn’t possibly fit and then began searching in
places he already checked again.
As he searched, his mind went to the child that had somehow snuck into his home
and frightened Eren enough to make him hide. He’d known something was wrong
when he got back onto his floor after receiving the text message from Erwin. He
had been waiting in the underground garage for Hanji to show up, taking her
sweet ass time getting there. When he entered his apartment, everything that’s
been learned over the years of living on the street and everything drilled into
him, he quickly felt something was off. Pulling open the drawer that his keys
usually sat on top of the table, he grabbed the small pistol that he kept in
there.
For such a small gun, it weighed heavily in his hand and headed into his
bedroom where he heard quiet footsteps coming from there. His first instinct
was to shot on sight, to take down the introducer or injure them enough to take
them in for questioning, but he held himself back. Furlan had sent a child
after him last time and as he opened the door more, he realized that he wasn’t
afraid to do it again. The kid who stood in the middle of his room was almost
painfully thin and reminded Levi of himself when he was living on the street.
He couldn’t completely see what he was doing, his back turned toward him but he
could tell that the clothes that covered him were far too big for him. It would
have been comical if it wasn’t happening in his own home. The clothes probably
made him look smaller than he actually was but he didn’t focus too much on
that, he just needed to know why this kid was here.
He whistled to get his attention and the boy immediately turned his way,
letting a piece of Levi’s clothes fall to the ground. Before he could think of
why this kid had his clothes, he tried to keep his face neutral as his eyes
scanned him and discovered unnerving scars. It took less than a few seconds to
take him in and weigh down that he wasn’t a threat, probably wouldn’t be able
to lift a finger against him. However, the white, thin scars that covered the
kid’s arms, one that ran from his elbow to wrist and from how wide the scar
was, it had been deep and wondered how the kid survived.
He thought that the numerous scars that covered him, almost making the tanned
flesh look like dirt and the white lines his actual skin. He briefly looked at
his hands and found that the tips of his fingertips were consumed in scars,
some of them reaching up to his knuckles. The same could be said for his toes,
from what he could see from the bare feet. The only scar that he could see that
was worse than the one on his forearm was the one on his neck. He was trying to
understand how this kid had survived with all of these scars if some of them
were self-inflicted or not. The one on his neck, he couldn’t imagine someone
doing that to themselves. It was the only place where scars didn’t litter his
skin and only one was known. The scar started and ended at his jugulars, he
could tell where whoever did this to the kid started on the left side, it
slightly wider than the other side. He had more scars that plagued his face,
one that cut his right eyebrow in half and another one that cut through his
left cheek that ran to his jaw. Those being the most prominent ones anyways.
The kid’s hair was in desperate need of a cut and wash, grease covered the
roots of the chocolate locks and he could see the split ends from across the
room. His face was thin but he could see that it still needed to build some fat
in his cheeks. The brightest set of green eyes locked onto him, gold filling
the edges of his irises and they looked at him with such terror and sorrow that
he almost felt sorry for the kid. If the kid managed to be able to gain some
muscle and meat on his bones, he admitted to himself that the kid would have
actually been attractive...
Snapping back into reality when he heard the front door open, Levi grabbed the
gun that he placed on his bed and prepared himself encase someone else was sent
after the kid came back in one piece.
“Levi!” Hanji voice drifted through the apartment, a sing-song tone attached
the end of his name.
His body completely relaxed at her voice, knowing there wasn’t any danger at
the moment, and dropped his gun back onto the bed.
“In here,” he called out to her before returning back to his search for the
large cat.
“I was waiting for you in the lobby and found a bunch of mail that-Oh, my god,
why is there blood?” she started.
He looked up from underneath his bed, seeing that she was pointing out the
blood trail that led from the front doorway to where the kid once stood. Levi
didn’t feel that guilty for shooting the kid. The kid was mostly just staring
at him shell-shocked, probably that he was letting him live instead of killing
him outright like he usually would have done. No matter how much he would have
yelled at him, it would have taken forever for him to get the kid out of his
apartment. Shooting him was the next best thing and it did the trick, made him
fly out of his home like a bat out of hell.
“Furlan sent another kid after me,” he stated simply, getting up from the bed
and moving to his walk-in closet.
He didn’t see the furball there either. “He got in? How? And what are you
doing?” she questioned.
“I don’t know how, I came back after Erwin messaged me and there he was, just
hanging out in my bedroom. And I’m looking for Eren, I can’t find him
anywhere.”
“So soon after he literally sent someone not even two days ago? Why would he do
that?”
“Hanji, I really don’t care at the moment. The only thing I do care about is
finding Eren.”
“Where’s the body?”
He stopped looking under all of his heavy jackets that resided in the very back
of his closet and came out to give her a glare. “You think I’d just kill a kid
for being here, especially if they didn’t attack me first?”
“You let him get away?”
“Of course I fucking did. He sent a child after me on a suicide mission with
nothing but the clothes on his back. I don’t fucking do kids, that’s where I
draw the line.”
He turned toward the closest once again to see if he managed to miss Eren and
then continue his search in the bathroom. “So he was just standing in your
bedroom?”
“That’s what I said.”
She stayed silent for a second. “You realize that almost no one besides us and
the rest of the inner circle knows exactly where you live...if Furlan managed
to sneak someone in here than that means that you aren’t safe here.”
He stopped his search and turned to her in realization. The Recon had always
gone great lengths to keep their Commander and Second’s living arrangements a
secret. If everyone knew where they lived there would be more security and
funds that they could be focusing on other resources rather than themselves.
Erwin’s location had only been found out once and he moved everything he owned
in less than twelve hours. It turned out there was a mole for a large gang,
that once existed, that managed to sneak through their screening. They were
quickly snuffed out and now most likely the same thing was happening again.
“You think we have another mole?” Levi asked her.
She placed a hand underneath her chin, thinking. He realized then that she was
holding a large stack of mail in her hand and that he’s been neglecting to pick
it up from the front desk on the first floor. “There haven’t been any new
recruits since the last batch a few months ago, but Furlan could have been
planning this for months. However, no one has been chummy with anyone in the
inner circle and everyone’s mostly under death threats if they slip,” Hanji
spoke to herself. “Anyways, we shouldn’t speak about this until we can tell
Erwin ourselves. Probably not at the meeting, of course, we don’t need anyone
else knowing about this.”
She placed his mail on his bed, making it spread out across his bed and
probably doing it knowing that it bothered him to no end.
“Anyways, we should start heading out...also I need to look at your wound,” she
said, already coming toward him and reaching for his shirt.
“It’s alright, just sore a bit,” he told her, not completely lying to her since
it was still tender.
He fought bravely but she managed to snag the end of his shirt and yank upward.
If he really wanted to, he could have taken her down but he didn’t feel like
explaining to Erwin why their leading doctor wouldn’t be able to operate for a
few days. She persistently would find some obscene way to see under his shirt
and find the already healed wound. When she laid eyes on the new scar, she
gasped lightly and her wide eyes turned to him.
“How?” was all she asked.
“Eren’s healing abilities doesn’t just extend to himself,” he simply said,
tugging his shirt out of her grasp and yanking it back down. “I’ll explain
later but before we go, I need to know that he didn’t at least get out.”
She almost looked like a fish out of water and he would have chuckled slightly
if he wasn’t focused on trying to find his cat. However, first, he started
scooping the mail together so he could at least put it somewhere he could get
to it when he came back after the meeting. As he grabbed bill after bill, a
large grey envelope caught his attention. Placing what he had in his hand back
on the bed, he reached for the envelope and his eyes widen at who it was from.
“Petra sent you something?” Hanji said into his ear.
He jumped slightly and turned around to see that she had mostly pressed herself
against him to read over his shoulder.
“Aww, why didn’t she send me something?” she whined, trying to reach for the
envelope in his hand.
“Excuse me, does this say your name? No, it saying Levi fucking Ackerman-” he
began.
“I didn’t know that your middle name was fucking.”
Rolling his eyes, he was torn between reading whatever she sent him now or when
he came back. However, they were already running late.
“Why did you let your mail get piled up anyway?” she asked, trying again to
grasp the envelope.
He thanked whatever god or mythical beast let him continue to grow despite him
being malnourished in his younger years as he kept the envelope a good six
inches away from her. “I’ve been busy with a large cat that needs attention and
also, I’m a lazy shit that doesn’t leave my apartment,” he simply answered.
“If you don’t open it, I will. We haven’t heard anything from her in almost a
year and all of a sudden she writes a letter to you, and you’re not going to
immediately open it? You are a terrible friend.”
Rolling his eyes and deciding to open it before Hanji manages to take it from
him and open it up with her teeth, he carefully ripped open the thick envelope.
Once he pulled the thick paper, the smell of strawberries hit him, a perfume
that Petra used to wear when they worked together. He always teased her for
having a child’s perfume and it fit her because of her height. Unfolding the
stacks of paper, a flash drive came tumbling out from between the pages and
Hanji managed to snatch it before he could even think to reach for it.
“Don’t you dare try to plug that in,” Levi told her as continued to examine the
letter before fully opening it up.
She huffed suddenly and dropped the flash drive back on the bed but instead
went into the other room, probably to grab his laptop from his office. Deciding
that there was no point in stopping her, he began to read the letter in his
hands.
 
Levi,
I hope that you’re doing well.
It’s been awhile since we’ve spoken and I’m sorry that it couldn’t be over the
phone or even through text. There’s something that I need to confess. Something
that I’ve been hiding for almost two years. However, I wanted to say that I’m
sorry my monthly calls ended but my work began to overtake my spare time until
it was the only thing that I could think about.
I want to apologize for lying to you but I never moved to America or any of the
European places that I’ve said I traveled too. I’ve been in Paradis and had
never left. The only person that knew that I’ve stayed here was Erwin and that
was because he gave me the mission to retrieve an object from a lab research.
I’m probably going to get disobeying Erwin but you have the right to know
because I’m entrusting this ‘object’ to you when I manage to get it out.
Erwin had managed to capture a high ranking officer in the Military, I never
asked for details because they almost left him within an inch of his life, and
heard of the Facility. With some research on my part, the Facility seemed like
a government-run medical research that was funded by the Military. Nothing
seemed the unusual but that they haven’t released any research or any
information but rather that they’re working on a miracle drug.
Erwin’s thought process was that obviously, they were working on something
other than that, especially from what their intel had told them and wanted a
spy to see what they were really doing. Moblit was the one that cracked into
their system, to see if there were any irregular positions or anything out of
the ordinary until he found what he needed to get a position that could have me
at least close to whatever they were working on. We obviously couldn’t tell
Hanji, even if she can keep some secrets but everyone would have known
something was off.
I ‘quit’ and wanted to sever ties everyone encase something happened to me but
I couldn’t help but at least stay in some form of contact with you, even if
every word I said had to be formed into a lie. No one could know that I
previously worked for the Recon or had any connections to it. Moblit managed to
set myself up with a new identity even though my only request was to keep my
first name, see that it was fairly common enough.
Not soon after I quit, I got the job that Moblit found for me and it didn’t
take too long for me to find what the Military had been throwing thousands of
dollars a month. However, it wasn’t what Erwin or I expect to find. I expect a
serum or possibly a nuclear weapon but it was nothing like we thought.
They handed me a tray, told me not to look at anything but just walk in and
deliver the food and medication at the foot of the bed. When I walked into this
isolated room, there was a child laying on a lone bed, small and terrified. It
didn’t take too long for me to understand that this child was what the Military
was hiding. Even though I mostly knew nothing about him and no one would give
me any details about him other than that he was a monster and killed one of
their scientists, I tried to warm up to him. It took months before he even said
anything back to me or even his name. They told me that I got the job because
no one wanted it, that the last caretaker, Hitch, died because of him and tried
their best to make me afraid of this child. I could see that the child was
scared and just needed someone to be there for him. I quickly found out that
Erwin found members that could easily be bribed and stay bribed so that I could
spend more time with the child. To gain his trust.  
At first, I tried to keep it professional, tried to not let myself get too
attached to the boy, but it’s me. How could I not want to protect this child
who didn’t know anything other than pain? I wanted to show him that there was
something other than suffering and that he had things to look forward to if we
managed to get him out.
Months had passed before I learned what made Eren special. Of why they have
kept him in isolation for years and why he was covered in scars...It would be
difficult to explain in writing and that’s why I included the flash drive in
the envelope. You wouldn’t believe me unless you saw it with your own eyes, it
was the same for me.
Erwin and I made arrangements for Eren to get out, to steal him from the
Facility so that they couldn’t use him for whatever they wanted. There was no
way in hell that they were using him for a ‘miracle drug’ but for his other
abilities and it could be dangerous in other hands. We needed to get him out
before they killed him, either by accident or need to dispose of him.
This letter was supposed to be sent by my father, in case anything happened to
me while evacuating Eren or if I never came home. If this reaches you and Eren
managed to get to you and Erwin like I will instruct him to, I have a selfish
request.
I want you to take care of him. It’ll serve you both well.
I can’t ask anyone to do this. Hanji will most likely cause him to panic every
time she comes home smelling like her lab and Erwin isn’t equipped to take care
of someone when all he thinks about is the Recon. You’re the only one that I
can entrust him with. You just need to have patience with him at first but
he’ll open up pretty quickly if he understands that you aren’t there to hurt
him.
I’m sorry that I’m asking this of you, but this the only thing I can think of
to keep Eren safe. However, I know you and I know this child. You’ll find him
annoying at first or even a pain but you’ll find yourself watching out for him
and caring for him like I did. He has that effect on people.
Erwin already promised this but I need you to enforce this, I promise Eren that
we would try to help find him his family. I know that it’s probably an
impossible task, especially when he can’t remember anything from before he
ended up in the Facility besides minor things, but we need to try. Once we get
Eren out of the country and with his family then everything will go back to
normal but we need to do this one thing.
I’m sorry again but this was the only thing that I could think of that would
actually work and manage to keep Eren from reverting back to the way he was
before. I entrust him to you. Do me a favor and tell him that I love him and
that whatever happened, that it wasn’t his fault. He’s probably tormenting
himself with whatever happened when he escaped.
I’m sorry.
 
Love,
Petra
 
By the time he finished the letter, he’d sat down on his bed and had to reread
it again to make sure that he was reading everything correctly. He was fearing
the worst, that this Eren that she talked about was the same Eren that has been
spending the last two weeks with him.
No, that’s not possible. She’s talking about a child while I’ve been housing an
animal.
He suddenly remembered the flash drive that had been tucked into the envelope
and grabbed it just as Hanji returned to the room, his laptop in tow. Even
though he knew that it was impossible, something inside of him was nagging at
him that they were the same and the only way to tell was to see whatever was on
the drive. Throwing the letter on the bed and almost ripping the laptop out of
Hanji’s arms, he anxiously waited for his laptop to start up and see the
information.
“Whoa! What happened?” she exclaimed when he took the laptop from her.
Once she saw that he wasn’t going to be answering her but instead pounding his
password into the keyboard to gain access to his laptop, she reached for the
letter. He didn’t care that she was reading something that Petra personally
wrote for him, he needed to know that he was overthinking everything and that
he couldn’t be possibly right. That the animal he’s been taken care of was
actually this weapon that the Military was hiding from the world. By the time
he uploaded the flash drive and found the only video file in there, Hanji with
her reading skills managed to finish the almost four-page letter.
“She’s dead, isn’t she?” Hanji suddenly whispered.
He froze in that second, realizing that he missed the whole reason why this
letter had been delivered to him. It was only supposed to sent if something
happened to her if she didn’t make it when she got her Eren out, but it could
also mean that she could have been captured. It didn’t mean that she was dead.
However, if they could find her Eren as soon as possible then they can ask him
first hand if she managed to survive. It almost surprised him how much hope he
had in his chest that she was still alive somehow...even though it wasn’t the
Military’s way to keep prisoners. Neither was the Recon’s.
“Do you think the Eren she’s talking about is the one that has been living here
for the past two weeks?” he questioned her, avoiding her wanting to talk about
Petra.
“What do you mean? You named him Eren, right?...Didn’t you?...Levi?” she began
and then became quiet. “What aren’t you telling me, Levi?”
“...Eren is much more intelligent than I was letting on, on top of his healing
abilities, he can understand everything that I say. I was going to tell you but
I didn’t know how, especially when you were being already suffocating with
knowing about his healing ability.”
Before she managed to reply back, he already pressed play on the video and
watched as the black background took over his screen.
“Levi, before you see what I’m going to show you why Eren is so special, I want
you to know that Erwin hasn’t seen this,” Petra’s voice flowed out from his
speakers. “I lied to Erwin and didn’t give the full details about Eren. I only
told him about his healing abilities and nothing else because it would have
been hard to explain, especially when I’ve only been able to recently get this
footage. Please show this to Erwin when you’re done and I wanted to apologize
again. If you’re angry, I just ask that you don’t take it out on Eren. He
doesn’t need any more trouble in his life.”
As Petra’s voice disappeared from his laptop, the video continued to play and
lit up to reveal a lab that reminded him too much of the one that was
underneath their HQ. He could feel Hanji pressing herself against him and chose
to ignore the heat of her breath against his cheek. They both looked at the
screen to see someone laying on a metal slab, the clothes on them swallowed
them whole and making their already small body look like a twig. The video
quality was less than desirable but he focused his attention on the face of
Petra’s Eren and found himself growing restless when he realized that he’s seen
that face before. That it was in his apartment not even an hour ago, though
from what he could see, there were barely any scars littering his skin. A pit
began to form in his stomach, understand that what he thought was impossible
was possibly now very real, but he needed to see it happen. If he didn’t then
he couldn’t completely commit to his trail of thought.
As they both watched the video, the pit continued to spread in his chest. The
screams that forced its way out of the small body managed to rock Levi. It was
the screams he’s only heard from men who knew they were going to die and had
given up hope of surviving. He felt Hanji grabbing onto his upper arm once they
began and tightened once the boy’s muscles began to spasm violently and his
limbs bend awkwardly.
By the time that the video went to black, Levi didn’t know what to think, but
he did the only thing that he could think of.
“Call Erwin, now,” he commanded Hanji.
 
Erwin had to cancel the meeting, something that he wasn’t happy about and that
he said multiple times over the phone to Hanji, but honestly, Levi could not
give two shits. He didn’t know what to think or feel, that the last two weeks
he’s been harboring this creature that could be human and cat, and that Erwin
had been hiding something massive from him for almost two years. He understood
that Erwin had liberties to not tell him certain things but one of their most
trusted agents had been uncover and in enemy territory. She had been working
for the enemy and committing her life to this mission that most likely killed
her.
Hanji had been talking his ear off since after she got off the phone with
Erwin, trying to theorize why how Eren was about to shift and if he was able to
change into his human form while he stayed with Levi. He half listened because
he was having an inner battle with himself.
He’s been thinking all along that this intelligent creature was just
experimented on, that being the reason for its abilities and he poured his
whole life story to it. It wouldn’t have been able to say whatever he told it,
half the reason why he said what he said, but now…he’s shared such intimate
information with it. Information that almost no one knows about him, that he
would very much like to keep secret to his grave. He shared his bed with it,
something he would never have done if he’d known. He’d never have taken it in
if he’d known. Happily would have pawned it off to Hanji, let her take
responsibility for it instead of letting it stay at his house. There were many
things that he wouldn’t have done if he’d known.
Now he didn’t know what to do. He knew that he wanted to curse and yell at both
Erwin and Petra, for keeping something so important away from. Even if he
couldn't have done anything to help, at least being in the loop was better than
being blindsided like this.
It looked like Hanji was taking this a lot better than he was, ranting about
how excited she was to talk to Eren. To gather information about his shifting
abilities and what else he would be able to do. Levi didn’t understand how she
wasn’t feeling the same betrayal that ripped through him, learning that Erwin
had both lied to them when they’re the first people he goes to for a second
opinion, to see if he’s doing the right thing for the Recon or not. Maybe she
was, but she wasn’t letting it be known to him.
When Erwin finally arrived, he had to resist the urge to slam his fist into the
man’s face. Hanji didn’t really explain why he had to cancel the meeting and
rush over, just that Petra contacted them and that he needed to see something.
She took over talking for the both of them, something that he was grateful for
or else he would have lost his job. His fist tightening and teeth clenching
when he looked at Erwin for too long.
They had moved to his dining room and she plopped him down on the only chair
with the laptop in front of him. He stayed quiet during the whole video, the
only hint that he was taken back by this Eren on the video being the same as
the one that’s been living with Levi, was the slight raise of his eyebrows. A
react that made Levi want to hit him once again.
“Levi, I want to say before anything else I’m sorry that I-” Erwin started
after the video ended.
“Don’t even fucking start,” he hissed. “You’ve kept this from me for almost two
fucking years-”
“What have you been able to do? The only thing to do was sit on your ass and
wait for information to come in.”
“She could have needed help getting out of there. Did you even give her a
fighting chance when you sent her on that suicide mission to bring back
something you didn’t even fucking understand?”
“If the Military knew that the Recon had any part of it then they would have a
reason to fully try and take us down. I couldn’t have risked that chance.”
“Will you two stop it!” Hanji erupted.
Erwin and Levi both found their mouths open in surprise at her sudden outburst.
Her face was red and anger filled her usually soft brown eyes.
“You two fucking idiots are forgetting about a little thing. Where is Eren?
Because he obviously isn’t here or we would have found him hiding somewhere
already,” she announced to them.
Suddenly remembered what he did to the kid that he now knew was his former pet,
he already knew the amount of shit he was going to receive from them.
“He was the kid,” Levi admitted.
“...You mean the kid that you thought Furlan sent after you?...wait you shot
him, didn’t you? You shot Eren?” Hanji put together.
“I didn’t fucking know that this kid that was in my apartment used to be my
cat, how was I fucking supposed to?”
“Enough!” Erwin suddenly exclaimed. “I don’t care what happened just that we
need to find him now, that’s an order!”
It was the first time in a very long time since Erwin had exploded like that
and even gave them an order in this commanding tone. Levi found himself staring
at Erwin, wondering what happened to his friend before grabbing his phone and
ordering a manhunt for Eren.
 
Somehow he ended up between two large buildings, his lungs ready to burst and
chest burning like acid had just been poured down his throat. Though he didn’t
know whether it was because every inch of his body screamed at him for using
them too soon or because of Levi. A painful twist emerged in his heart at that
thought of that man and a spasm erupted through his right arm, a gasp escaped
from him. He grabbed onto the gunshot wound and breathed deeply through his
nose. Looking down at the blood trailing down his arm and seeing that most of
his fingers were covered in the sticky liquid, they began to tremble. Trying to
stop the movement and calm down his aching lungs, he pressed his hands together
and focused on breathing in and out slowly. He couldn’t think about Levi, not
without getting himself all worked up and his eyes already stung from sobbing
all the way from the apartment to where he was now. Wherever he actually was
because he honestly didn’t know.
After sprinting and tripping almost hit first into each wall of the staircase,
he slammed his way out into the street. He chose a direction and ran, not
caring where he’d end up, but now he actually needed to get himself together.
You can mourn later.
He repeated that to himself numerous times, trying to calm himself down with
little effort. Wanting to rub his stinging eyes, but thankfully stopped before
he completed the action. Eren didn’t need more people looking at him on the
streets with blood on his face, he still needed help finding the building.
Continuing to breathe slowly, he wiped his left hand on the black shirt, trying
to get most of the blood off of it and moving his injured arm through the
armhole to hide the bleeding limb. Looking down at himself, Eren just hoped
that he looked passing enough for someone to talk to him and get what he
needed. Even if he didn’t even know what he was asking.
Eren eventually sat against the wall, trying to remember Petra’s words as they
sat on the metal fence before she pushed him over. Before she died right in
front of him.
Stop.
Shaking his head and deciding that right now was not the time to be thinking
about what happened afterward. He racked his brain, trying to remember
everything that poured out of her mouth, all the information that she gave him
in such a short amount of time. All he needed was the name of the building and
one of the names that she told him about, but as he continued to remember, he
felt increasingly stupid just sitting against the brick wall.
Minutes crept by and nothing seemed to help, it just seemed to make his chest
continue to widen and crack thinking about his now dead friend. Finally, fate
seemed to have some pity on him because the word Wings screamed at him. Though
he knew there was more and he still needed a name, it was better than nothing.
He continued to sit against the wall, trying to at least think of one of the
two names and cursing himself for not trying to think of this while he was
still in the apartment. When he didn’t have to worry about his arm, that was
still bleeding, and that he needed to get off the streets as soon as possible.
Deciding that he at least needed a name, whether it was their first or last
name, anything was better than just walking in and not knowing who he needed to
see. It took many an hour, maybe less but it honestly felt like he’d been
sitting against the wall for a month, for a single name to pop in his head,
Smith. It had to be a last name, but at least it was something.
Now armed with some information and making sure that his bleeding arm was still
unseen from underneath his shirt, he adventured back onto the streets to try
and get more information.
 
It didn’t take long to find where he needed to go, the first person mostly ran
away after he mentioned a large building and the word ‘wings’ in the name. Not
before saying that he must have a death wish. It didn’t help the pit in his
stomach, wondering where Petra was sending but had to remind himself as he
asked stranger after stranger where the building was. Every person he walked up
to sent tremors throughout his body, the back of his head yelling at him that
they could be a lab coat, that they were going to send him back.
The people he approached didn’t seem too thrilled to be dealing with him, a few
backing up when Eren walked up to them. It took numerous attempts to get his
voice from shaking when he talked to them, for the words to not seize in his
throat and for the people asked to immediately looked annoyed when he couldn’t
say what he wanted. Eventually, he got multiple directions. The first person
just listed off random names, probably the street names that he needed to turn
on and his head began to swim with everything they said. Before he could ask
for simple landmarks or anything like that, they went on their merry way and
left Eren dumbfounded, more lost then he was before. The next few people gave
him mostly the same instructions and he thought he was going to go mad if this
continued, however, he managed to stop an older woman and finally took pity on
him. She pulled out a scrap piece of paper and grew him a simple map, using
boxes and objects to describe where he needed to go and where to turn. Almost
wanting to cry when she handed him the piece of paper and he thanked her until
she was almost out of sight.
Closely following the black lines that the woman created on the paper, he
suddenly found himself almost transported to another part of the city. His
eardrums protested as he walked the streets, speakers from inside of the
buildings drifted to him from the street. More people crowded the streets,
acting like just the people on television do when they’ve had too much to
drink, and made Eren want to curl up on himself, to hide in-between buildings
to avoid their gazes. Though he was pretty sure that no one was paying him any
attention as he continued to follow the directions.
Petra was right, that he would know it when he sees it. The building that he
now stood in front of was the tallest building on the long, brightly colored
street, and probably the tallest in the city from what he has seen. A sign that
hung high on the building that read in bright lights ‘Wings of Freedom’ and
relief slipped its way into his chest. Grateful to have anything but the pit
continue to widen and swallow him whole. He recognized the name now, that this
was where Petra told him to be since he escaped, however, he couldn’t help but
listen to the seed of doubt in the back of his head. It wondered what kind of
place she wanted him to be at, where drunks lined the street for miles and
women that wore almost nothing walked the sidewalk. The only cars that managed
to appear on the road, honked at the people that walked the streets and looked
more expensive than anything Eren would ever touch in his life.
Who could possibly be here that would be able to take care of him?
Shaking off the doubt that was slowly taking over everything else, Eren told
himself that he needed to believe that Petra wouldn’t send him to a place where
they would hurt him. She said that they would help him and find his family for
him, so he had to believe. Finding the courage that was buried deep within him,
he reached for the double glass doors and walked inside.
 
Every inch of his body screamed for relief. He forgot how much pain his body
could take, far more than the average person he learned years ago. His mouth
had been coated with iron, blood filling it from the open wound inside of his
cheek. It dripped from his split lips, pooling onto his chin and to the
concrete floor below him. He could barely see out of his right eye, it pulsing
with every heartbeat and burned every time he blinked. Eren didn’t want to
think about the bruises that would cover his stomach and chest. How much purple
and black would replace the normal coloring of his skin. It was getting
increasingly hard to see out of his, now, one good eye, a reddish tint taking
over and wondered if it was because blood was getting into it or the number of
times that they’ve slammed him into the ground. He wanted to fight back, to let
the claws that grew within seconds of the onslaught to rip into his closest
attacker and gut him, but he couldn't. He buried the claws into his palm,
ripping into his skin and adding more to the blood around him.
He was sent here to be safe.
She promised that I would be safe.
Then why were they beating him to a pulp? Why did she send him somewhere they
kept throwing questions at him and before he could even say anything, a foot
was introduced to his stomach? He could do nothing as the kicks and punches
kept coming and wondered if this was what he gets for tricking Levi. For
beginning to have feelings for someone who would never be able to return
anything remotely similar to what he felt.
The pit that threatened to swallow him before now began to drown him in the
sorrow and despair that’s been eating at him all day. As spots began to form in
his eyesight, swallowing the room as more questions were thrown his way, he
welcomed the darkness. Eren wanted to grab a hold of it, to hassen it’s
envelopment over him so he couldn’t feel the pain inside of him anymore. He’d
welcome anything to make it stop. Anything to make it go away.
Just as the darkness left everything but a slither of light left, a loud bang
engulfed the room before a familiar scent overtook Eren’s scenes. One that he
never thought he’d smell again and managed to whisper that man’s name before
succumbing to the awaiting darkness.
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