Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/12267441. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural Relationship: Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester Character: Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, John_Winchester, Bobby_Singer Additional Tags: Soulmates, First_Time, Blow_Jobs, Anal_Sex, Anal_Fingering, Underage_Sex Stats: Published: 2017-10-04 Words: 5375 ****** What the Heart Needs, the Body Wants. ****** by RebbekkahMorningstar Summary 15 year old Sam is desperate for his brothers love. Dean craves Sam, but both are too scared to admit it, what happens when Sam runs from his feelings? Notes Not Beta'd, hopefully I will be able to continue this work. Right now my muse want's to torture Jared and Jensen, so we will see. Let me know what you think, comments feed the muse. Day 2 without any sleep, so please ignore my errors. Sam Winchester stood in the rain on the corner of the street, thankfully in Arizona, it was warm rain. He had run away from his family, not able to live with being a burden to his brother any longer or to be a disappointment to his dad. He had learned a few things since he left the dirty motel room his father had left him and his brother at. The most important thing that he learned was that he had a pretty smile, lips that gave the best blowjobs, and a body people would pay to abuse. He had used his new found talents to get him transportation, food, and his place to stay. He was in school most days and worked the corner most nights. He had been gone for three months and while this wasn't the life he dreamed of it was better than the one he left. He knew that his father and brother were probably searching the country for him. He was smart though, he never used the credit card his father given him. He had given that to a homeless man hoping to throw them off his tracks. He dyed his hair, changed his clothing style. He didn't want to be found. The first time he dropped to his knees it was for a truck driver. The older fat guy had offered him a ride if he would 'entertain' him. He wouldn't have accepted the offer but he had been waiting at the truck stop just five miles from the dump of the motel. He couldn't risk Dean finding him. He reluctantly agreed and followed the man to his truck. He climbed in and placed his bag between his feet on the floor. The driver opened the other door and climbed inside. “Get in the back boy, only address my by sir or daddy.” “Yes sir,” Sam made his way to the back of the truck to the twin sized bunk. “Strip, get on your hands and knees with your hole high in the air.” "You're not going to have sex with me are you?" Sam looked up into the brown eyes pleading to keep his virginity intact. “Depends, now do what I said or get out.” The man bowed his chest out in an act to intimidate. It wasn't hard for the larger man to scare Sam, he was easily six foot six and three hundred fifty pounds of fat and muscle. The man had a hard stare and a squared jaw. It was clear he was used to getting what he wanted. Sam nodded his head and took his clothes off, turning on his hands and knees. "Spread your legs, slut." Sam could hear the sounds of the man's belt buckle, then his zipper. He opened his legs laying more on his chest. “Is that good, S-sir,” Sam stuttered with fear. “Use your hands and open your pussy lips, I want to see that quivering tight hole.” he moaned stroking his cock. Sam rested all his upper body weight on his chest reaching around with both hands to spread his ass open. Sam felt the bed dip and the man's heat behind him. He quivered with fear. He felt the man's hands on his hip pulling him up, hot breath on his exposed ass and balls. “Such a delicious looking asshole,” He moaned licking hard around the boy's tight hole. Sam's body quivered with disgust, for a moment he taught about turning around and running back to the dingy motel. He knew he couldn't he had to make it on his own. Sam closed his eyes, the older man licked and tongued his ass stripping his cock hard and fast. He heard the man groan and felt the hot wet seed splash against his leg. “You taste amazing baby,” he said pushing his cock back inside his pants. The older man threw Sam a washcloth and stepped back to the front of the truck. Sam cleaned himself up and got dressed. He felt dirty but he knew it was the only way he could make it. Three weeks of hitchhiking and blowing strangers he found himself in a town he found marketable. He set himself up. He blew who he had to in order to get by. It still wasn't pleasurable, especially when the men wanted to hit him, cut him or strangle him. He had to swallow his pride. He made good money from the ones that liked to abuse his young body. He would charge them a grand and let them do as the pleased. The only rule Sam had was he was not to be penetrated, and always keeps his gun in arms reach. He only had to use his pistol once, and he only had to threaten the guy. Sam had gotten himself enrolled in the local high school. He was working hard to graduate so he could move on to college. He wanted to make something of himself and not just be another hunter.   Dean Winchester had been looking for Sam since his brother left in the middle of the night. He had been out getting a drink and a little pussy from an easy waitress when Sam slipped away. He hated to call his father and tell him that he had lost his brother. He knew he was in for a beating, the beating was the least of his worries. He was more concerned about where his brother could have disappeared to. 'You lost, you find him! I don't want to hear from you until you bring your brother back safely' John spat at his oldest son as he landed another blow to the young mans back with his belt. John left Dean's back black and blue, with ugly belt marks across it. “If you find him dead, don't bother calling me. You will be dead to me,” Dean had been roaming around Flagstaff for a week now, after picking up a tip from another hunter that they had seen Sam in the neighborhood. It was late close to midnight when he spotted Sam getting out of a black car and walking back to the dingy alley. While his hair may be black now, and his clothing choices made him look like a cheap fuck, Dean knew his brother. He was about to rush to his brother when an older gentleman approached Sam. He ducked into the shadows so he could overhear the conversation. “You working tonight?” The older man asked. "Yeah, fifty for a hand, seventy for my mouth," Sam said smiling at the man. “On your knees, boy,” The John pushed Sam to the rough gravel. Sam looked up at him innocently working the old man's pants open and pulling out his wrinkled cock. Dean's stomach flipped, he was going to throw up. He couldn't stand by and watch his brother sell his body like he was worthless. He needed a plan that wouldn't cause his brother to bolt. Dean walked out of the alley and down the street. An SUV pulled up beside him. “Hey beautiful, you working?” The man in the SUV smiled at Dean. “No, I don't work the streets, just came to play with my favorite little whore,” Dean smiled. “Oh, and which one is that?” “He's the young one with the shaggy hair.” “Oh the virgin, yeah he gives great head, but won't let anyone fuck his tight little boy pussy.” “Yeah that's the one, so he won't let you fuck him either?” “No, keeps saying he's saving his asshole for someone he loves. Whatever, kids a whore, he'll sell for the right price.” “Yeah, I guess your right, or like you said, kids a whore,” Dean felt the bile come up in his throat. “Have a good time with him.” “Oh I will,” The guy smirked. Dean stepped back into the shadows and watched as Sam walked right up to the guy's car and jumped in the passenger seat. A few seconds later they both climbed into the back. Dean rolled his eyes trying to figure out what to do, he needed a plan and fast cause he wasn't going to stand out here all night watching his Sammy blow half of Flagstaff. Dean stepped closer to the SUV when he heard Sam scream. Listening for a moment Dean gritted his teeth in anger, pulling his gun out of the back of his jeans he ripped the door open. Inside the SUV the guy had a knife to Sam's chest slicing down his belly dipping into his unbuttoned shorts. Dean knocked the guy in the head with his gun knocking him out. “Dean! What the hell!” Dean did respond he quickly grabbed Sam's wrist and cuffed him to his own wrist. “Really, Dean?” “Can't have you running and getting yourself into more trouble.” “Who say's I'm in trouble, Dean!” “That dude had a knife to you, he was jerking it with your blood man!” Sam hung his head, “How did you find me?” “Well, Sammy, you got a mug that stands out. All I had to do was make a few phone calls and someone said that they had spotted you out here.” "Well, I guess I should have hidden better." “No Sammy, you shouldn't have left in the first place!” Sam ducked his head, hair falling into his eyes, “I had to leave, Dean.” “Why? Give me one good reason.” “I can give you a lot of good reasons! For one I'm tired of moving! I'd like to finish school in one place! I don't want to be a burden anymore,” he said the last part under his breath, but Dean still heard him. “You're not a burden Sammy! An idiot maybe, but not a burden!” “Oh, really, well there are things you don't know! I can't continue to live with you!” Sam spat. “And why is that! Am I such a horrible brother!” "No! That's not it! You wouldn't understand!" Sam was shaking and wished he could chew his arm off so he could escape. Dean pulled Sam's shaking body into his arms holding him to his chest, “Try me, Sammy.” He shivered feeling his brothers breath on his neck, “You'll just hate me, it's best that you leave me here.” “I could never hate you,” Dean let Sam free of his grip, “and I can't leave you here, Dad will kill me.” Sam looked up to Dean with pleading eyes, “Please, just leave me, tell Dad I got my fool self killed. I mean it, I can't go back with you!” “Tell Dad that because I lost you, you got killed? That's suicide and you know it!” “Then come up with something! I can't be around you! I'm no good!” A tear streaked down Sam's face. “What the hell are you talking about Sammy!” With no other card left to play Sam took a shaky breath and looked Dean in the eye, “Dean, I'm in love with you.” He raised his hand to shield himself from the blow he knew was coming. He stood in shock when it didn't come. He lowered his arm and looked at his brother. “What do you mean, you're in love with me?” "I mean that every time I see with the slut of the night it breaks my heart! I mean that I spend too much time wishing you would touch me! I want to be the one moaning and scratching up your back!" Sam quickly covered his mouth with his free hand. “Sammy, you don't know what you want, your too young. This is normal and something you will grow out of.” Dean deflected. “No, I don't think so.” Sam said with a broken voice, “Please just leave me. If you make me go back, I'll just leave again.” "No, you won't. I'm not loosing you again, one beating is enough. Come on Sam we have to leave." “Then I'll kill myself. I'd rather be dead than to live with you.” “Sam! You will do no such thing! You will come back with me, you will get it together and you will forget this stupid crush you have!” "Damnit! Dean, you don't get it! This isn't a stupid crush!" "That's exactly what this is. Maybe it's my fault for coddling you too much. Maybe I messed you up somehow." Dean knew the feeling his brother was dealing with. He had been dealing with it since Sam hit puberty. He wanted to pin his brother down and mark him up. "No it's not your fault, it's mine. I'm the one that's in love with my own brother! Dean, I love you, and that's why you're better off without me. Let me talk to Dad, I'll tell him everything, then he will not want me around anymore." “Fine, but we need to leave this city, get you set up somewhere else.” Dean pulled his brother to his borrowed car knowing good and well he had no intentions of stopping until he was back at Bobby's. Dean opened the driver's side door and pushed his brother into the car. Sam slid in sitting in the middle of the bench seat. Dean slid in beside him. “Dean, where's the Impala?” “Like I'd come rolling up in the family car, you'd have bolted as soon as you heard it. Borrowed this rust bucket from Bobby.” “Can I at least get my things from my place?” "Sure, but then we leave." he fired up the old 68 Camero and headed in the direction his brother told him. Ten minutes later they were pulling up to a rusty falling apart trailer and Sam jumped out. He ran in the door not waiting for Dean. He came back a few minutes later with his backpack slung over his shoulders and his duffle in his hand. He had tears in his eyes as he climbed back inside the car. "I'm not sorry for this Sam is for your own good." “No, this is for your own good. Like you said Dad will kill you if you didn't find me and return.” Dean shook his head and put the car in gear. They had been on the road four hours before Sam realized where Dean was headed. He knew they were headed north which meant he was going to Bobby's. “Dean, I told you I can't go with you!” "And I told you I was taking you someplace safe, and there is no place safer than with me. We are going to Bobby's, that's where Dad will meet us, we can figure it out from there." “Dean,” Sam whispered leaning in close to his brother, “I can't. See what just being close to you does to me?” “Sammy,” Dean Sam pressed his body flush with his brothers ghosting his lips over his brother's neck, "One condition, when we stop for the night, you make love to me. Just once, then we will part." Dean shuddered under his baby brothers lips, his grip on the steering wheel tighter, “Sam we really shouldn't.” "I want you to be my first and only you. Please Dean, make love to me, then leave me at Bobby's. At least like this, the beating you take from Dad will be worth it." Sam licked up the side of Dean's jaw laying kisses across his flesh. "I'm afraid if I get a taste I won't be able to stop, Sam," Dean confessed with arousal in his voice. “Then don't stop, stay with me, I'm sure we could make it work.” “You don't know what you're asking of me. This isn't just morally wrong Sam, it's illegal in more ways than one.” Dean shifted in the seat trying to relieve the growing pressure on his groin. “What part of our lives isn't illegal! I'm not asking you to marry me, Dean! I'm asking you to fuck me!” “Sam, I will never fuck you. You will never be a meaningless lay, if we do this we do it right,” Dean glanced at his brother lovingly. In the end, Dean could never say no to Sam. Something in the boy's eyes made his heart melt. He knew he'd be signing his soul a one-way ticket to Hell, but he couldn't find it in his heart to care. They stopped for the night in Denver. Dean took Sam to a hotel, walked right up to the desk and got them a room, one king-sized bed. The lady behind the counter smiled and handed him the card key. They rode the elevator to the second floor. Dean unlocked the door and pushed Sam inside. "This is the only time we do this. When we leave here in the morning you will do whatever it takes to get over this. You finish school, and you make something of yourself. Never forget that I love you." Dean whispered the last part against his brother's lips. “Do you understand?” “Yes I understand,” Sam said kissing Dean. Dean ran his hands down Sam's chest grabbing the hem of his shirt and lifting it above his head. He laid kisses to the side of his baby brother's neck, feeling Sam shiver at his touch. New scars, bruises, cuts, and whelps covered his brother's skin. The sight broke Dean's heart. He was supposed to protect his brother and he had failed. He fought the urge to vomit looking Sam in the eye. "Sammy, why did you let them hurt you?" The words were choked off with tears. “Dean, it's what I deserved,” he whispered leaning in to lay a kiss on Dean's cheekbone. "You don't deserve to be hurt, baby boy. You deserve to be held and kissed tenderly, to a. Don't ever sell yourself short, you are amazing." Dean felt Sam's hands roam down his back removing his shirt. Pulling him tight to his chest, feeling the flesh of the only person he has ever loved against him. He moaned at the contact. "Please, Dean, don't make it harder for me to let you go." he whispered licking his way up his brother's jaw. “Promise me you won't do this again. I can't live with myself knowing that you think so little of yourself.” “I promise, no one but you will ever touch me.” “Don't, I want you to be happy, you and I both know that isn't with me.” he looked away from Sam grabbing the button on Sam's pants and ripping them off him. He sank to his knees laying kisses to the exposed chest and stomach in front of him. Sam was hard and leaking, waiting to be taking. Dean moaned at the sight and licked the head of the beautiful cock that was standing before him. Sam ran his fingers through Dean;s hair, grabbing at the short strands. Throwing his head back he moaned the most beautiful name he knows. He closed his eyes tight, desperately trying not to buck his hips, the last thing he wants to do is gag Dean. Dean had only ever been on the receiving end of a blowjob he wasn't even sure this was any good for Sam. He mimicked what he knew he liked, using his tongue around the head, no teeth, and holding the base of his cock with his pointer and thumb. Sam felt like he was in heaven, his brother's hot silky mouth wrapped around his throbbing erection, his eagerness to make him cum was overwhelming. His hips jerked forward as he lost control of his orgasm, spilling his seed Dean's mouth. Dean hungrily drank down his brother's cum, enjoying the salty sweet taste that is his baby brother. He milked the last of his cum out with his hand licking up the drops as they spurted out. Sam blushed with embarrassment at the quickness in which he came, "I'm sorry I didn't warn you." “It's alright Sammy, I'm just glad it was good for you,” he said making his way to his feet running his hands up Sam's sides digging his nails into the flesh around his ribs. Sam pulled the button free from his jeans, pushing the zipper down, and removing the offending garment. Dean had a tent formed in his boxers just waiting for release. Sam gripped the flimsy worn material and pulled them free. He fell back onto the bed pulling Dean with him. Dean landed on top of his brother, Sam throwing his legs around his waist pulling him closer, "Please," he whispered against his neck. “Do you have lube? Condoms?” “Um, no,” he blushed turning his head to look for something they could use for lube, “Your clean right? I would rather feel all of you.” “I'm clean, are you?” he asked with a little more malice than he meant. “Yeah, Dean, I may be a whore, but I'm not stupid,” he spat back. "That's not how I meant it, Sammy," he looked away from Sam knowing that he had hurt him with his vile words, "It just makes me angry that you have been touched by hands that weren't mine." Sam rolled his eyes cocking his brother a glare,”There should be some lotion in the bathroom you can use for lube.” Dean smiled kissing his nose and running to the bathroom. Emerging a few minutes later with two travel sized bottles of lotion, or in this case, makeshift lube. He tossed the bottles to the bed. Sam quickly opened one of them and poured the contents on his hand. Spreading his legs he lifted his balls rubbing around his asshole with the lotion, sliding one finger in moaning as he worked himself open. “Damn, Sammy, you do this often?” Dean was getting impossibly harder watching him open himself up. “Only when I think of you,” Sam moaned slipping a second finger inside himself. He felt the bed dip as his brother slipped between his legs, the hot weight of his body turning him on further. Dean watched him slide a third finger inside himself before leaning over him and kissing him deeply. "You're so beautiful," Dean whispered into his brother's mouth. “I'm ready, please get inside me,” He begged lifting his hips, sliding his fingers out of himself. “OK baby,” Dean grabbed the second bottle of lotion and coated his cock with it. He grabbed Sam's hips lifting him up to rest on his thighs, gripping the base of his dick he lined himself up with the quivering hole, he was met with much resistance. Sam clenched his eyes shut and ground his teeth. “Baby boy, you have got to relax for me.” he whispered rubbing the trembling thighs of his younger sibling. Sam nodded taking a deep breath, “Just go slow, and be gentle with me De.” A few moments later Sam relaxed his lower muscles allowing him to slide another inch in before Sam's sob stopped him. “You alright?” “Yeah, feel so full, and complete,” he confessed lifting his hips pushing his brothers throbbing cock deeper in his body. Dean took his cue and slowly pushed the rest of the way inside the wet tight heat. He moaned body shaking with pleasure as his brother's body milked his cock. He planted his hands on the mattress beside Sam's head. “You feel amazing, Sammy,” he nibbled at his neck sucking bruises into the pale skin. "De," Sam moaned digging his nails into his lover's shoulders, "Please move." Dean shivered rocking his hips slowly, “I'm in no hurry, I want this to last as long as possible.” They made slow passionate love covering each other's bodies with kisses. Every time one would get close they would back off and make out. Both of them exhausted, neither backing down. Dean was panting over his brother's body, sweat pouring off his forehead dripping down onto Sam's chest. He laid his body on top of Sam. “De, lay on your back, I wanna ride you.” “Damn, you know just how I like it huh?” Dean smirked pulling out of Sam slowly and laying on his back next to Sam. “You've only told me many times how much you like to be ridden,” he planted his knees around Dean's hips grabbing his cock and lining it up with his sloppy loose used entrance, sinking down slowly savoring every inch of the impressive cock that was impaling him. Leaning back he rocked his hips in a figure eight pattern, bouncing ever so slightly. Dean grabbed his hips pushing up into Sam's incredible heat. Sam bit his lip grabbing the headboard and bouncing faster driving the head of his brother's cock into his prostate. “I can't last much longer,” Dean moaned his nails digging into Sam's milky hips, he's sure there will be bruises left behind. “Me too,” Sam doubled his effort working towards bringing them both to orgasm. The tingling at the base of Dean's spine worked its way through his balls and cock shooting his semen inside his brother's body. Sam could feel his brother's cock swell and spill inside him as he pounded his prostate following his brother into the arms of pure bliss moments later. He collapsed onto Dean's body, sweaty and spent. Dean brushed the hair off of Sam's forehead, laying kisses to his temple. Sam kissed his brother's neck and fought the urge to cry. He knew that no matter who he slept with, no one would ever make him feel like Dean did. He knew that it was a one-time thing, that when he opened his eyes in the morning he would have to look at the man he loves like nothing more than a brother. That alone crushed him. “I need to breathe, please get off me.” Sam slowly shifted to the edge of the bed, standing he made his way to the bathroom grabbing a washcloth. He ran the water and let a few tears fall. Sobs wrecked through him. He quickly sucked up his tears. He cleaned up and threw the dirty washcloth to the side grabbing a clean on for Dean. He walked back to the bed and handed over the washcloth. Dean nodded in thanks and cleaned himself up. He threw the washcloth into the floor. Sam sat on the edge of the bed. Chewing on his bottom lip. “Dean?” Sam kept his gaze to the floor, “Can I please have a kiss goodbye before you leave me?” “Sammy, please don't make it harder than it has to be.” “Why does it have to be anything? Why can't we have this, whatever it is between us can work. I know that I will never feel about anyone else the things I feel for you.” "You don't know that you haven't even been in a real relationship. You deserve to go out there and explore your options." "In the end, I will always want you. I have wanted you since I was eleven and got my first boner. No one else turns me on," Sam blushed. Dean pulled Sam to his chest running his hand through his brother's hair. He sighed knowing that he was breaking his brother's heart, as well as his own. He laid gentle kisses to his forehead holding him close. He didn't feel like he normally would after sex, the urge to run completely gone. He knew that the feelings that he felt for Sam weren't right and that he could never have a normal relationship with Sam. Some part deep inside his twisted mind and heart wanted this with Sam. “Sammy, if we do this, it will never be normal. We will have to hide what we are, no one can know that we are together.” “Dean, are you saying you will try this?” Sam looked up at his brother a smile plastered to his face. “What can I say baby boy, I have never been able to tell you no,” he smiled down at the bright eyes of Sam. The gleam in them filling his heart with joy. "I love you, Dean," Sam kissed his brother laying his head on his chest. “Ditto kid,” Dean held him close feeling his breathing slow down knowing that his baby brother was sleeping peacefully.   They were awakened the next morning to the shrill ring of Dean's cell phone. Dean untangled himself from Sam reaching for his pants on the floor. He grabbed the phone the bright orange screen blinding him, it was his Dad. “Hello,” Dean got out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. "You two better make it to Bobby's tonight," “Yes sir,” was Dean's only reply. John hung up the phone. Dean sighed walking back to the bed. He reached out for Sam brushing his hair out of his face, he kissed his forehead. Sam shifted looking up at his brother. “Good morning Sammy, up an at em. Got a long drive ahead of us, Dad's demanding we get back tonight.” “How does he even know you got me?” "He's Dad," Dean said shrugging.   “How'd you know he found Sam already?” Bobby asked handing John a bottle of whiskey. “He used the credit card to get a hotel room last night,” John shook his head, “I thought I had more time.” “You still haven't told them?” “Well, Bobby, how do tell your kids, your sons that they are soul mates. How do I deal with it? I have seen the way they look at each other, you've seen it.” “John, it may make them better hunters.” “It may get 'em both killed.” “How do you know that they, you know?” "Well, the hotel he booked had one king sized bed." “You know some people would think that was stalker behavior. How did you get that information.” “For once I didn't lie. I called told 'em that my sons ran away and that they had my credit card, asked what room they were in. The poor girl I talked to was shocked, she said the two young men that checked in using that card looked more like lovers than brothers.” "So this is why you are freaking out? You knew they were soul mates since Sammy was a baby since Mary burned for her sins. If you haven't come to terms yet, then you may never, but you know you can keep them apart long." “I know Bobby, I know. I guess I have to do what I do best.” “Drink away your problems? Or Ignore them?” Their conversation was cut short by the sound of a car pulling in, Bobby looked out the window just in time to see the boys jump out of the car. John was right, he had never seen Sam smile so bright, nor had he seen Dean look so calm. The front door opened and in poured Sam and Dean. They sat at the table with the two older men trying to act as normal as they can. Dean had decided to tell his father about his and Sam's new found relationship, he figured if he was going to get beat he'd rather get it over with. “Dad, can I talk with you for a minute? Alone, outside.” “Sure Dean, come on son,” they stepped outside, ignoring the worried look coming from the youngest Winchester. Once outside Dean looked at the ground, “Dad, I'm in love.” “I know,” The eldest Winchester looked away from his son. “I don't think you do,” Dean held his head high unashamed. “You're in love with Sam, have been since you were 16. He's been in love with you since he was 11. I do pay attention to you two. Plus I've known since you were four that you'd fall for your brother.” “Wait, and you didn't think to tell us.” “You had the figure it out for yourselves, I figure this is why Sam ran away.” “You could have saved us both some heartache, you pushed women on me! And you knew, you're an asshole, Dad.” “Been called worse, and that's Sir Asshole to you. Take care of your brother. I'll call you in a few day's got to go check out a possible vamp nest two hundred miles south of here.” “Yes sir.” Dean always took care of Sam, fucking him was a bonus.   Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!