Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3752833.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Naruto
  Relationship:
      Hatake_Kakashi/Uzumaki_Naruto, Uchiha_Sasuke/Uzumaki_Naruto
  Character:
      Hatake_Kakashi, Uzumaki_Naruto, Uchiha_Sasuke, Haruno_Sakura, Tsunade_
      (Naruto)
  Additional Tags:
      Underage_Sex, Angst, Violence, Yaoi, Gay_Sex, Anal_Sex, Anbu_Hatake
      Kakashi, KakaNaru_-_Freeform, SasuNaru_-_Freeform
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-04-15 Completed: 2015-04-26 Chapters: 11/11 Words: 14023
****** What Is Necessary ******
by GhostyGooGirl
Summary
     He knew that if he decided on what felt right rather than what was
     necessary then he would destroy and shatter both his and Naruto's
     worlds. What he was about to do would be for Naruto's happiness.
Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
     Come bug me on Tumblr. I'll answer any questions you guys have about
     my fics/sin/Naruto in general.
***** Chapter 1 *****
"N-Naruto..."
The jounin gasped, tightening his grip on the beautiful young boy sprawled out
beneath him as his hips jerked one last time, spilling his seed deep within the
blissfully tight heat of his lover.
He only just managed to stop himself from collapsing completely atop the young
boy - who was panting heavily, only just descending from his own orgasm induced
high.
Silver hair brushed against a whiskered cheek as the older of the two leant
over and nuzzled the blond's sensitive neck with a feral growl, possessively
inhaling his scent like it would be the last time. Mine. Kakashi nipped lightly
at the tender flesh, eliciting a moan from his student. Oh how he wished he
could mark his own territory. That's what the boy was...his territory and no
one else's. Only Kakashi's. As he liked to believe at least for a little
while...but as much as he wished he could mark and claim this boy as his own so
that everyone would know. Know that the blonde was owned by him, he couldn't.
Not unless he never wished to see the kid again.
"Sensei?"
Kakashi didn't lift his head at the questioning tone, instead he carried on
with his ministrations, humming to let his lover know he'd been acknowledged.
There was a hesitant pause, filling the atmosphere around them with something
heavy, something unsaid. Frowning, Kakashi lifted his head up to look the boy
in the eyes; his amazing sky blue eyes that sparkled even within the limited
light of the small room. His young kitsune blushed and shifted his gaze at the
intensity of the look that the man was directing at him, and only him. Like
Naruto was the only thing that existed in this time and space, like Naruto was
Kakashi's world. And Naruto was Kakashi's world. Is his world.
The duos bodies shuddered against each other as the silver haired man closed
his eyes and pulled out of the blonde, his own semen leaking onto the bed
sheets beneath Naruto. Sighing, he shifted his weight so that he could cup the
boys face lightly, coaxing him to look Kakashi in the eyes instead of over his
shoulder.
"I love you Naruto."
The breath caught in Naruto's chest at the simple confession.
"I love you too sensei..." The blonde sighed heavily, contemplating whether he
should say the rest of what was on his mind.
Kakashi seemed to sense Naruto's internal struggle, so he waited patiently for
the blonde to spill what was troubling him. After what seemed like an eternity
he shifted his body against the one pinned beneath him, reminding his student
that he was in fact still here, never averting his gaze away from the younger
of the two.
Naruto snapped his eyes back to Kakashi's, once again dragged back to reality.
Focusing on a mismatched pair of orbs.
"It's just that...well whenever we do this...it's like..." He grimaced, trying
to put what he thought into words. He was never good with words. "It's like
it's the last time, you always act like it'll be the last time between us...I
just, it kinda worries me y'know? That you'll leave, that you're thinking of
leaving me and I don't want you to leave me, I could never live without you,
not after everything...I just..." The blond could feel the familiar sting of
tears pricking at his eyes. "I could never go back to how it was, before all of
this...and sometimes I think that that's what you want, that you're
contemplating it every time we're together. I'd understand why you would, I
mean I could completely understand because I'm your student, my age, becau-"
The blond's rambling was cut off by a pair of soft lips against his own. He
couldn't help but sigh at the blissful contact, visibly relaxing his previously
stiff posture against the well known Copy ninja; his own sensei...his lover.
Kakashi ended the kiss first, leaning back far enough to once again look at the
boy. He wished so much that things could just be left as they were. That things
could be different. That the two of them could just be. Be left to live their
life together, to be accepted, which he knew was not a possibility. Kakashi
wished for so much, but there was no point in wishing - in daydreaming, because
things would never be the same again. He knew, and he knew that if he decided
on what felt right rather than what was necessary then he would destroy and
shatter both his and Naruto's worlds. What he was about to do would be for
Naruto's happiness, for his student to move on with his life like none of this
had ever happened. And it would truly break what was left of Kakashi's heart.
Naruto was the last ray of sunshine left in his life and he was sure he was
going to lose it. He was certain.
"Naruto, you need to know that I'll always love you, no matter what happens
between us, no matter what situation we find each other in in the future. I
will always love you and no amount of anything will ever change that."
He wiped at the tears streaming down Naruto's cheeks before shutting his eyes
and pressing his forehead against the boys. Neither spoke for what felt like an
eternity, just enjoying each others company and for Kakashi, reveling in the
intimacy of what would be the last time with the person that was most precious
to him.
Finally they broke apart when Kakashi felt he was ready to do what would be the
biggest regret of his lifetime. Pulling back, he met Naruto's eyes for the last
time as lovers and reluctantly activated his sharingan. Before the blond knew
what had hit him, he passed out and slumped almost lifelessly back onto the
mattress.
Kakashi fought back the tears that threatened to spill as he looked at his
student. That was all Naruto would be now...just his student. He had wiped all
of the boys memories, locked them up securely somewhere deep within the
recesses of his mind, of what used to be between them. Not a single intimate
memory would be left, the only person who would ever know their history would
be Kakashi. And he was right; it truly did shatter his heart into a million
pieces.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
"Everything is prepared for tomorrow evening. You are to meet the clan elders
at the temple at 20:00 hours sharp. Don't be late."
"Yes lady Tsunade"
"And I assume you have become well acquainted with the traditional marital
ritual you will be participating in? I don't want any slip ups, this is an
important opportunity for the village Kakashi, their clan is very wealthy -
both in money and knowledge. I want them on our side if the shit hits the fan
and all hell breaks lose with this possible upcoming war. Anything could happen
and I'll be damned if I'm going to let this opportunity pass us by."
"Yes lady Tsunade."
"Good."
The blonde haired Hokage eyed the sturdy figure stood rigidly in front of her.
She knew the man wasn't ready for such commitment, that's if he ever would be,
she knew he wasn't happy with the decision that had practically forced him into
a marriage that would benefit everyone else apart from him. But that's what
shinobi were there for, they had to be willing to lay their life down for the
village. Kakashi had no choice.
All of it was politics really, the Auyubi clan had a young lady who was of age
to be married off and Kakashi was of great interest to them, specifically
requesting him as a candidate for a marriage proposal to the head of the clans
daughter - Aya. They took interest not only because of his renown reputation as
an elite ninja but also because of his heritage.
This way both the village and Auyubi clan benefit from each other, the young
lady gains a respectable husband and Kakashi has the chance to pass on his
genes; shinobi didn't have a long life expectancy after all and Kakashi was
already 27; the council declared that his genes were too valuable to the
village for him to 'waste'. And on that trail of thought alone they declared it
compulsory for him to raise a child within the first two years of his marriage
to Aya. The consequences should he refuse didn't look too nice either. The
council were sneaky little pricks when they wanted to be, it seemed they always
got what they wanted one way or another.
As a person Tsunade felt for Kakashi, she really did, she couldn't imagine what
she'd do if their roles were reversed but as Hokage these were the decisions
she had to make daily. It was necessary for the progression and protection of
the village. She couldn't stray from the belief that the village came before
everyone else otherwise things would become dangerous...God forbid she was
allowed to feel anymore.
Anyway Kakashi was single, it wasn't like there was a significant other in his
life otherwise she would have heard of them by now. He was single and free and
an elite shinobi with an excellent heritage, why not marry him off? He'd had
years to decide on a partner. She tried her best to shake off the pity she felt
for him; it wouldn't help anyone.
Instead she reached into her desk drawer and pulled out her emergency bottle of
sake for stressful times like these, along with two glasses. Pouring the liquid
into each cup, she grabbed one and handed it to the copy-nin.
"Congratulations Kakashi."
Kakashi didn't say anything, instead he slipped down his mask and gulped down
the bittersweet alcohol, enjoying the burning sensation as the substance slid
down his throat. Placing the cup back onto the Hokage's desk, he pulled up his
mask, nodded and made his leave by turning on his heel and slamming the door
behind him.
Tsunade made no move to stop him, instead she stared at his retreating back
with a sad half smile adorning her pretty features.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
"CONGRATULATIONS KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Sakura bellowed as she jogged towards the
three other members of her team. "I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!"
Out of the corner of his eye, the copy-nin could see Sasuke sigh out of
annoyance and face away from the pinkette and his other student (who he tried
his best to refrain thinking about) trying to recover from the almost heart
attack from Sakura's sudden, yet loud appearance, while simultaneously giving
him a strange look.
As for Kakashi, he really, really didn't want to talk about or even acknowledge
his recent marriage to Aya. It wasn't that she was a horrible person, far from
it actually, but it was more the fact that he resented being stuck by her side
when all he wanted to be by was someone else entirely.
So hiding his emotions as usual, pretending that this whole setup wasn't
getting to him in the least he feigned a smile, said a quick "thanks" and set
his cute little students on a very productive mission; cleaning out the nearby
stables in the boiling heat of Konoha's summer.
Even though the hours seemed to pass like days, the mission had gone relatively
well considering that Kakashi had had to sit and watch his little blonde
student stroll around topless and sweaty right in front of Kakashi's eyes. One
thing was for sure though, the jounin had done a good job on the boy; he
couldn't remember one thing about their history together.
It had been hard but he'd survived the first day, one thing at a time he'd told
himself. Even though every minute apart from Naruto was numbing him, he could
feel his passion dwindle and the familiar feeling of despair seeping into his
bones; very similar to how he'd felt a few years ago.
He had to stop thinking about it, he didn't have the guts to ask the Hokage to
assign him to a different team, as much as he needed to get over Naruto, he
wanted to be there for him, to make sure he'd be ok. And maybe it would make
his life a little bit more bearable while he could still see those bright,
cheerful blue eyes looking back at him each day.
He had to head home to his new wife, he was required by law now to raise
children within two years of his marriage. He would refrain to do so for as
long as possible. Just in case. 'Just in case what Kakashi?' He sighed and
opened the door to his new home.
===============================================================================
It had been strange living with another being, he had to admit. Aya was lovely
and kind, she made sure he was looked after, made him dinner, cleaned the house
while he was away and she never fussed about him doing what he needed to do.
She was a good conversationalist and very polite but she didn't interfere with
his business and knew when he needed time to himself. In a way he suspected she
wasn't all pleased with the marriage herself but much like him didn't really
see cause to make a fuss about it. They each had their own duty and they both
knew they would fulfill it to the end.
Yes. She was a lovely woman. Overall an excellent house wife, someone he could
have probably been happy with in another life. But she was the complete
opposite of him. He yearned to be the center of Naruto's attention again,
yearned to hold him more and more each day. It made him feel like shit and it
made him feel guilty to be having these thoughts when he was with Aya.
It had been weeks since the marriage and life as usual had moved on. Kakashi
was grateful that he no longer had to put up with people constantly
congratulating him on his marriage every time he walked down the street. He
much preferred the scowls of his female admirers over the happy smiles and pats
on the back.
Now though, he could carry on with his life in peace, mingling with the few
jounin he had befriended over the years and taking his free time in between his
duties as both a husband and a shinobi. However, it seemed that wherever he
went he could rarely get away from Konoha's blond menace. Even if the boy
couldn't see Kakashi, Kakashi could see him, running around, causing trouble.
This particular time though, Kakashi had had a few drinks and found himself
stumbling his way down the street from a night out with Asuma, Kurenai, Tenzou
and Gai. The sun had long disappeared below the horizon and the only things
lighting the pathway were the dim street lanterns hanging above the stony
pavement and the warm glow leaking out from peoples homes. It made Kakashi feel
quite nostalgic with this being a regular path both Naruto and he would take
while walking his student home.
Yes. Kakashi was walking to Naruto's apartment, just because he thought he
deserved to reminisce after so long of trying to forget. Maybe it was the
alcohol or maybe he was just a masorchist. Or maybe it was because it was the
fourteenth anniversary of his sensei's death; in other words, Naruto's
birthday.
He didn't plan on speaking to his former lover, instead he was planning on
sneaking the card he'd bought earlier under the door for the boy to see in the
morning. His plan, however, didn't really go to plan when he heard whispering
coming from around the corner, just outside of Naruto's run down apartment.
"Shhh, someone's coming teme!"
There was an annoyed grunt followed by footsteps making their way towards the
stairway that Kakashi had stopped on. Apparently he hadn't been as quiet as he
thought in his drunken state. He carried on his ascent of the stairs to seem
less suspicious, he wasn't there to spy on Naruto anyway. Before he could reach
the top step, a familiar figure emerged from around the corner, dark eyes and
raven locks. It shouldn't have been as much of a surprise to the silver haired
man as it was.
Naruto and Sasuke were both team mates and as much as it came across that they
hated each other, that was far from the case with these two. In a way, it was a
love, hate relationship. Kakashi had always respected that when he was with
Naruto, even though it did rouse his jealousy now and again. Only then, Naruto
was there to reassure him, now however, that was not the case.
Kakashi nodded to his student as they passed, he could see that Sasuke had
scowled at his sensei's sudden appearance but that rare sight of emotion was
quickly trampled down before he gave a polite, yet stern nod. The one thing he
hated about Sasuke was that he never failed to remind Kakashi of himself in his
younger days.
Reaching the top step and making his way down the hall, he spotted blond spiky
locks and a bright orange jump suit.
"Hey sensei!" Naruto waved, beaming at Kakashi. "What brings you here eh?" He
questioned, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his head, still smiling. It
filled Kakashi with joy at the sight of the boys beautiful smile, only, there
was something off.
"Ah, well can I not check up on my favourite student now and then?" He gave a
forced chuckle. "I also bought you something for your Birthday," Kakashi
reached into his supply pouch and handed Naruto the card he'd contemplated
giving the kid all day.
"Happy Birthday Naruto."
The blond smelled different, he no longer had Kakashi's scent mingled with his
own, instead he smelled of Sasuke. It made Kakashi's eye twitch with the effort
of restraining his anger and prossessive nature towards Naruto. Naruto had to
have been spending a lot of time with the Uchiha, or maybe they'd recently...he
swallowed hard, he hated the thought. Hated it with every fibre of his being,
yet he was the one that brought this on himself. He was to blame, not Naruto.
Naruto didn't know any different.
His body must have betrayed what he was feeling because his beloved student now
had a frown plastered across his face, no longer the bright beaming smile from
a minute ago.
"Are you ok sensei?" He seemed genuinely worried.
"Maa, it's fine Naruto, I'm just tired is all," Kakashi's smile was strained.
"Long day huh?"
"Yeah," where the conversation had once seemed to flow easily, it no longer
did, having been replaced with small talk and patches of awkward silence.
"Anyway, um, I think I'm gunna head home, y'know, stuff to do..." Naruto nodded
his head, he looked momentarily disappointed before once again smiling at the
copy-nin. "Yeah, thanks for the card Kakashi-sensei!"
Kakashi turned to leave, book in hand once again, even though it was too dark
to read, it was purely there to comfort him. "It's no problem, I'll see you
tomorrow hmm?"
"Yeah! See ya tomorrow sensei."
How could things change so much is such a short time? Kakashi had always
pondered such a question, nothing ever seemed to be a constant in his
life...other than the bad things of course.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
As it so happened, he didn't see Naruto the next day, instead he'd been handed
an urgent S-rank mission to the land of Lightning. He had been there for a
total of 32 days and was he glad that that was over. It was a relief to finally
be back in his own territory after spending so long around ANBU; he had
completely forgotten how emotionally reserved they were. He could say that he
was exceptionally happy (in Kakashi terms) to have his own bed back again but
it was who was sleeping next to him that he wasn't so delighted about.
The next time he saw Naruto was while he was off duty. Kakashi was grocery
shopping for Aya, who was currently sick in bed with the flu. As harsh as it
seemed, Kakashi tried his best to keep away from his wife as much as possible,
mainly due to not wanting to be stuck indoors for the next week and also
because it inevitably lead to the discussion of children and when they would be
trying exactly. It seemed Aya, her entire clan, the village elders and Tsunade
were laying the pressure on thick, knowing how well Kakashi could avoid
something if he so wished.
As it happened, he bumped straight into the blond while he was lost in thought,
his heart lurching when he came face to face with the smiley, outgoing boy.
"Hi Kakashi-sensei!"
"Uh, Naruto," he'd only just managed to find his voice after such an unexpected
meeting. 'How pathetic Kakashi, you're a man not a fucking five year old.'
The blond looked at him oddly, apparently he'd never seen Kakashi so off guard;
or at least he could no longer remember.
"What ya doing sensei?" He beamed.
The jounin looked down at the basket of food he was carrying and then back up
to Naruto. It seemed pretty obvious to him, also taking into account their
surroundings. But this was Naruto and maybe he was just trying to make
conversation with his sensei who he hadn't seen in over a month. That was
good...wasn't it?
He cleared his throat and lifted the basket of groceries to emphasis his point.
"Just shopping."
Naruto frowned. "Is that for your wife?"
What was with the frown? Kakashi missed the smile from before.
"Yea I guess," he knew he should say more but what could he really say without
sounding 'out of character' or inadvertently bring forth a memory that Naruto
had been forced to forget. That was partially why he limited his contact with
his student. That and because he knew he wouldn't be able to keep away if the
two of them got too close again.
"Oh-"
"She's got the flu so..." He shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
"Right," Naruto turned to the side, averting his gaze from the older man. He
strolled a little way down the isle behind Kakashi. For a moment the jounin
thought that that was the conversation over and done with until the boy made
his way back and chucked something into Kakashi's basket.
"Here sensei, it's for your wife, it should help, I know it helps me when i'm
ill," He gave Kakashi a sad smile. Why was he so melancholy while he was around
Kakashi? One minute he was happy the next he was sad, he was sure Nauto was
never like this before. Before he could reply, Naruto had left Kakashi behind
and jogged out of the store to meet with his other two team mates. It was
strange but he thought he had actually seen Sasuke smile at the blond. Maybe it
was a trick of the eye. Or maybe not but Kakashi didn't like thinking about it.
Looking down at the packet of cold and flu tablets that Naruto had chucked into
his basket, brought back a memory of when he'd brought these over for Naruto
when the kid had been too ill to do anything else. He tried not to think about
how he'd also cooked soup and they'd spent the day together snuggled up on the
sofa watching a movie, covered in Naruto's duvet. He cringed, he certainly
wasn't about to do that with Aya, making her soup and looking out for her
general well-being when he was around would be as much as he'd do. He limited
physical contact with her as much as he could. When it came to sex he saw it as
more of a chore than a pleasure, purely for reproduction with no emotion
attached to it whatsoever. Once the deed was done, there would be no cuddling
in bed, not even any prolonged conversation. Usually he'd feel too guilty and
head out after having a shower.
He was cruel, Aya deserved someone to treasure her for the lovely person that
she was, she didn't deserve to be stuck with someone who could never love her
the way she wanted to be loved. He could hear her crying silently next to him
at night when she thought he was asleep. He felt like the absolute prick he
knew he was.
It made him sick to his stomach when he knew he could roll over and comfort her
but why should she accept his comfort when he made no other movement to help
her feel anymore loved day to day. No; it was wrong to give her false hope that
maybe with enough time he'd come to love her. Kakashi knows that no such day
will come.
Before he knew it he'd payed for the food and had arrived back home. The day
dragged on slowly after that, having made his wife soup and then gone out to
meet with Gai for a few hours. soon after he decided on finding a quiet tree
somewhere to relax and read. As much as he disliked to admit it to others, he
hated having days off, he never knew what to do with himself anymore, it seemed
he didn't fit in anywhere other than at work.
Once the sun had gone down and he made his way back home yet again. Peeking
into his shared bedroom, he saw that his wife was fast asleep, not wanting to
wake her, he headed to the sofa and tried to get as comfy as he could get on a
hard leather, not particularly cushioned surface.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
Three months later found Kakashi silently witnessing Naruto's and Sasuke's
'first kiss' as it seemed. He had assumed there was something between them that
night on Naruto's birthday but apparently he had assumed wrong. He had been
jealous but here, now had confirmed the suspicions he'd been having since that
day and it had hit him like a ton of bricks. To say it hurt would be an
understatement, and the hurt did nothing but fuel the anger, jealousy, guilt,
and sadness that had built up and up for months; the hate he felt for himself,
for Sasuke, for everyone but never Naruto, not Naruto. The only thing he lived
for was Naruto and now Naruto was gone. Gone forever, fated to be with the
young, beautiful Uchiha and Kakashi was fated to live the rest of his life
drowning in his own self pity and hatred. To be unloved and unlovable; if
that's what the world wanted then that's what it would get. Everything he had
held back until now had finally consumed his entire being and all the
unpleasant thoughts and emotions whirled within him, fueled by rage.
So that is how he came to find himself dripping with blood, five dead enemy
shinobi at his feet on a C-rank mission turned A, his innocent little students
staring wide eye'd at him in horror. He didn't care, he was angry, burning with
rage and jealousy that he knew he had no right to take out on either of the two
boys on his team. His 'fuck it all' mentality had finally emerged when they'd
been ambushed just outside of Fire country. He slaughtered their enemies not
like they were human, but like they were pigs. He didn't think about how it
would affect the three of his students, just that they needed to realize that
being a shinobi wasn't all fun and games and that one day they too would have
to kill or otherwise be killed. A part of him wished they hadn't experienced it
like this but another part of him was receiving sick satisfaction that he had
opened their eyes for them to see who he truly was; a cold blooded killer, not
their weird, lazy, laid back sensei.
His smirk was hidden behind his blood soaked mask as he eyed each student over.
Sasuke was trying his best to keep a calm facade but Kakashi could see straight
through it. He was happy that the Uchiha was so rattled and was glad he had
potentially mentally damaged the kid, that's if Itachi hadn't already done so.
Sakura, he wasn't at all surprised to see, had tears streaming down her cheeks,
she was barely holding it together. And Naruto, well he looked angry. That,
Kakashi hadn't expect from the blond; he had expected shock, fear or disgust
but not anger. No...Naruto was feeling all of the three things Kakashi had
expected from him but anger prevailed as the most powerful. Anger directed at
Kakashi by the feel of Naruto's chakra lashing out toward his teacher.
It was then that the full realization that he had most certainly lost Konoha
three perfectly capable shinobi for no good reason, hit home. To get over the
trauma and psychological damage of seeing the one person they put their trust
in to never hurt them and to introduce them to shinobi life bit by bit,
transform into a completely different person would probably take months to
overcome. Perhaps he would lose them forever if they just couldn't handle it
and decided to quit.
He felt awful for letting them witness unnecessary slaughter right before their
eyes, what they saw in him for that short amount of time was what he had been
when he was a lot younger. He was an idiot for letting his emotions control
him, just because Naruto was finally happy with someone that wasn't him.
Bending down the jounin pulled one of his kunai out of one of the rouges throat
and signaled for his team to follow. They were hesitant, putting as much
distance as they were able between themselves and Kakashi. They were scared of
him. When they get back to the village, he decided, he would resign as their
sensei and ask to be put back into ANBU. It's where someone like himself
belonged.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
Eight months had passed since he last saw Naruto. After that fatefull mission,
he had resigned from being a jounin sensei and his request to be put back into
ANBU had regretfully been accepted by Tsunade. The months that had passed had
turned him cold. Similarities to his younger self had emerged almost
immediately after the first mission he had taken as an ANBU operative once
again. People avoided him and conversation ceased when he walked down the halls
at headquarters, he was someone to be feared, given the highest respect from
his new team. Whispers that the famous 'cold blooded Kakashi' was once again
back where he belonged. Did he like it? He no longer cared; his entire life had
been merely a tool for the village to use, why should he care what they used
him for? He would gladly die for the village.
He peered down at the frail, sleeping baby in his arms. His baby. She was
beautiful; that he had to admit, and it was rare he saw beauty in things
nowadays so when it did happen to appear he appreciated it while it lasted.
Preferably before it was tainted with his very presence.
He was stood next to Aya. who was asleep on the crisp white bed next to him, in
a private hospital room. He missed the birth, not that it really surprised him,
he was sure Aya wasn't all that surprised either; he saw her once or twice a
month now, rarely spending nights at home or even in the village anymore. She
didn't even know he was here, he had been informed that his wife had given
birth just before he was due to leave on an important mission, so here he was,
stood in his full uniform, porcelain mask included, looking down at his
sleeping baby. She had yet to be named, he would leave that to Aya, he didn't
deserve to have a say in his own child's name.
Placing her gently back into the cot next to the bed, he stroked her cheek
lightly, being careful not to harm her. Pulling his hand a way he gave her one
last glance and promptly jumped out of the nearest window, off to complete his
assignment. Perhaps this mission would be the end of him. He thought the same
thing every time he left those gates.
===============================================================================
It turns out that Kakashi survived, much to his disappointment. He returned
home with one of the three of his team that had left; he didn't give a second
thought to the ones that they had lost. He was exhausted having drained almost
all of his chakra just getting back to the village, so he was dragging himself
as best he could just to get home. It was the dead of night so no one was
really around to see him, which he was glad of.
He was halfway home when he needed to stop for a minute, leaning up against the
nearest brick wall, hidden in the shadows. He glanced up at the nearest
building, grabbing his side as pain shot through his body. His ribs were
probably cracked after being kicked into a tree during the mission. He made a
mental note to move carefully in case he broke them, the man really would have
to go to the hospital then. His vision finally focused properly on his
surroundings and it was then that Kakashi realized he was outside of Naruto's
apartment. Shit. He'd managed to distract himself from the thoughts of the
blond for months up until now. He wondered if Naruto even lived here anymore,
for all he knew Naruto could have left the village or could even be dead. He
cringed and it wasn't from the physical pain.
Attempting to start walking again only made his legs give out on him and he
slumped to the ground, dust clinging to the patches of blood that soaked his
uniform.
"You ok?" A familiar voice sounded from the wall above him. Kakashi mentally
slapped himself for not even noticing there was someone else there. And not
just someone, the one person he'd managed to avoid all this time. He hid his
chakra signature as best he could, but he yearned to soak freely in Naruto's
unique, warm chakra. It was dangerous thinking about that now, not in the
unstable state he was in at the moment.
He looked above him at the blond haired boy, bright eyes gleamed even in the
darkness. Kakashi had missed him so much. He was glad that he had his hood and
the porcelain mask on, both to hide his identity and to hide the tears
streaming down his cheeks. He hadn't even realized he was crying until now; he
was amazed he could still cry.
"Yes," He replied with a sturdy voice that he was well versed in keeping
formal, cold and emotionless. Kakashi's voice could instill fear into even the
most hardened shinobi, but it didn't seem to phase Naruto. The kitsune jumped
down off the wall to stand in front of Kakashi, offering his hand to help him
up.
"You're not lookin' so good...this is just a guess but I don't think ANBU tend
to hang around sitting under walls at night covered in blood unless they're
injured," he smiled, still holding his hand out for Kakashi to accept. "But
then again I could be wrong, I only ever see you guys stood up on roofs or
hiding in the corners of Tsunade's office."
Kakashi, somehow, managed to drag himself to his feet without taking the help
Naruto had offered. "You'd be surprised."
Naruto laughed out loud at the comment, not bothered a bit that the strange
ANBU had refused his help.
"So what're you meant to be? Like a dog or something?" He reached out to tap
the mask but had second doubts and retracted his hand back to his side.
"A hound," Kakashi said simply. He was exhausted and felt dizzy, he really
wanted to head home, he didn't think he could handle talking to the source of
both his pain and love at the moment. "Goodbye," he said bluntly and staggered
in the direction of his home. Naruto didn't stop him, a part of Kakashi was
disappointed about that but it wasn't like Naruto was going to invite some
randomer into his home, especially not ANBU considering their reputation.
"You really should go to a hospital ya know!" Naruto called after him.
Kakashi just lifted his hand in a farewell. If he had turned around at that
point he would have seen one of Naruto's famous smiles that Kakashi loved oh so
much.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
Four months had passed before he met Naruto once again. And yet again Kakashi
was dressed in his ANBU attire, only this time he was guarding the village from
inside the walls, keeping a silent lookout for any trouble. Though trouble
itself found him in the form of an orange clad, blond boy.
"Hey it's you!" The boy shouted at Kakashi, even with a measly 5 feet between
them. Usually it would make the silver haired man smile at Naruto's bubbliness
but perhaps Kakashi had forgotten how to smile over the past year.
He nodded his acknowledgement, hoping that if he didn't converse with the
blond, said person would disappear. Yet a small slice of him wished Naruto
would stay for the rest of his shift. The kid never failed to make Kakashi feel
two polar opposite emotions at once.
"Not big on talkin' eh?" Naruto smiled and plopped his bottom down on the
rooftop next to Kakashi's feet. "Never mind! I bought ramen," he lifted the two
packages up to show Kakashi with a gleeful look. "Want some?"
Kakashi shook his head, not really feeling the need to explain the reason why
he refused.
The blond shrugged. "Oh well your loss, more for me!" He unwrapped the packages
with childish glee, snapping the chopsticks and started gulping down the
noodles bowl by bowl. Who would have thought that seeing his ex student eating
ramen would be heart warming? The man walked silently away from the younger to
the other side of the rooftop, he couldn't allow any emotion to dwindle back to
life for Naruto.
How old was he now anyway? Fifteen, sixteen? It felt like it had been years and
years since the day he had wiped Naruto's memory.
"Hey! What's your name anyway? I have to call you somethin' right?"
Kakashi peered over his shoulder at the boy still sitting on the roof,
surrounded by bowls.
"I am not going to reveal my name to you so don't bother asking again."
Naruto's groan of disappointment lasted only a second before he was
enthusiastically bouncing his way toward Kakashi.
"Hmmm, what about your age?"
Silence.
"Hair colour?"
More silence.
"Eye colour? Weight? Height? Do I know you? What abo-OUCH!"
Kakashi kicked Naruto in the side of the ankle, effectively toppling him over.
"I am not answering any questions that could lead you to revealing my identity,
so please cease."
The blond pouted up at the man in the mask, rubbing his sore ankle. The pain
didn't last long, however, because he was soon up on his feet again, clearly
thinking up some suitable questions.
"Fine...what about your rank? What's your rank?"
The man wanted to sigh; Naruto never gave up did he?
"Captain."
"Awesome! I'm still a Genin, I took the Chunin exams but was never actually
made Chunin, only Shikamaru was but he didn't even win the final battle!"
Naruto pouted again and crossed his arms, clearly jealous.
"I'm sure Shikamaru deserved to be promoted to Chunin, that is why he was
selected to be so."
The blond sighed and uncrossed his arms, looking quite defeated.
"Yeah I guess so, he is pretty clever after all," he looked to the ground. "I
just don't wanna be left behind y'know? Everyone seems so much better than me
at everything, I try really hard but I never seem to get anywhere."
Kakashi furrowed his brow. Why wasn't Naruto achieving more? He knew that
Naruto could easily surpass everyone on his team given the time and the right
training. At this stage he should have been able to clear the Chunin exams with
ease. If Kakashi had still been his sensei then...No. There was a reason he
left.
"Perhaps your jounin sensei is not well quip to training you correctly."
The kid thought this over for a minute.
"I guess...though he spends a lot more time with Sakura than anyone else, even
Sasuke is annoyed that he's not getting much attention when it comes to
training. Though that teme just trains alone most of the time anyway. I can't
really blame Yamato-sensei for not knowing how to train us right, he wasn't
exactly our original sensei to be assigned to us."
He sat down on the edge of the rooftop, his legs dangling off the edge.
"I do miss Kakashi-sensei, he didn't even say goodbye, he just left."
There was a long silence as Naruto fiddled with the hem of his jacket, clearly
straying deep into thought. Kakashi felt guilty for not letting the boy know it
was him but their past was better left in the past. It was still nice to know
that the teenager missed him, even if it wasn't the way that Kakashi wanted to
be missed. When they'd returned home that day as their last time as team 7, he
hadn't said a word to the three of his students.
Two of them had vanished in a matter of seconds out of, most probably fear, but
the blond had stayed. They had glared at each other, more on Naruto's side than
Kakashi's, neither really knew what to say and even if there had been something
to say, it probably wouldn't have repaired the irrevocable damage that Kakashi
had already caused. So instead he let Naruto glare him down and he'd simply
walked away, no goodbye, no sorry; he'd just turned and left. He wasn't at all
surprised the young Jinchuuriki hadn't called after him.
Kakashi sighed and though his cool exterior had been warmed only slightly from
being around the person he loved most, he still had many walls that needed to
be dissolved between them. There was no worry that that would be happening any
time soon. He'd let the boy have some semblance of satisfaction that he'd
gotten somewhere with him.
Bending down to sit next to Naruto, Kakashi patted his shoulder reassuringly.
It was a poor attempt at comfort but it was more than any of his other comrades
had received from him in a very long time.
"I'm sure it was for the best."
Naruto lifted his head to look into the eyes of the man sat next to him,
frowning.
"Perhaps"
Naruto didn't look away, so instead Kakashi turned his head to look towards the
setting sun. A comfortable silence stretched out between the two of them, the
orange light spilling over both of their forms. Konoha always had the best
sunsets. Kakashi hadn't realized how much he'd missed this. Just being around
Naruto, even in silence, relaxed him so completely he could curl up to the boy
and just sleep. If only that were a possibility.
"You can call me Hound."
Naruto snapped his head in the direction of the voice. His bright smile warming
Kakashi's heart once again.
'I love you Naruto.'
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
'Why does this shit always happen to me?' Kakashi pondered as he stood staring
at the two people in front of him. One happened to be his wife and the other an
unknown man whom seemed extremely comfortable lounging naked in Kakashi's bed;
or well he had been until Kakashi had walked in.
People would expect that said Jounin would be raging at the man before him,
threatening him with his life. That he would be pissed at his wife, that they'd
talk about it later. But the truth was, Kakashi wasn't even angry. How could he
be when this man probably saw his wife more than Kakashi did? In all honesty he
couldn't even blame Aya for wanting intimate company when he was away; she
wasn't cold blooded like he seemed to be. No, he wasn't angry, he was relieved.
Finally he was free from being entrapped in a marriage he hadn't even wanted in
the first place. Of course there would be repercussions but definitely not on
Kakashi's side, it seemed Aya deemed it worth while putting up with the
consequences that her clan had in store for her just so that she could feel
loved every once in a while. How could he blame her?
Later that day he'd been informed that the little girl he never really saw was
not actually his. Again, he wasn't surprised; the child and him looked nothing
alike. Nor had they really bonded enough for Kakashi to be that upset. He also
tried to convince himself that he was sad to see them pack up and leave a week
later. But he wasn't, he was as close to happy as he could be; if not for
himself then he definitely was for Aya and her child.
After informing Tsunade what had happened she signed him off duty for the
night, much to his disappointment. So instead he decided to go for a drink,
something he hadn't done in months. When he'd inevitably bumped into Gai and a
few other old acquaintances, he didn't say a word about what had gone on,
instead he enjoyed the night as best he could, for once letting his guard down.
===============================================================================
The next day always made you regret how much you drank the night before. He
felt like crap and even then that was an understatement. His head throbbed and
he felt like he would throw up at any moment, god forbid someone mentioned
food. For once all he wanted to do was stay in bed and not leave his, now
deserted, three bedroom house. Sadly that was not what the universe had planned
for him today when there was a tapping at his bedroom window. Pulling back the
curtain did nothing good for his headache; another nice day in Konoha it
seemed. A messenger bird stood on the window sill with a scroll attached to
it's foot. No doubt about it...another mission.
It seemed a team needed back up at the Waterfall village; easy enough Kakashi
reasoned. Sighing, he waved the bird away and rolled out of bed and headed to
the bathroom. He was showered and dressed within fifteen minutes, unlike his
older self and old team mate who were always fashionably late. The mission was
marked urgent anyway so it wasn't like he had all the time in the world.
Sliding on his Hound mask, he teleported out of his house and made his way
unseen to the village gates.
===============================================================================
The mission had been a nightmare, when he got there the whole village was a
wreck, massive holes scattered the ground and houses were either destroyed or
on fire. One other man had been sent along with him as back up but it appeared
that they were not even needed; the fight had been over for at least a few
hours.
Casually stepping past the bodies that littered the floor he walked over to a
group of eight people, sheltering under a nearby tree. They looked filthy and
most were injured from the battle, but nevertheless, still on full alert. Three
of them Kakashi recognized, one being an old comrade and friend and the other
two his old students. What a coincidence. He was just glad that two of the
three didn't know who he was. He glanced over the raven haired boy and the
pinkette with a frown. They didn't look like they had fared well in this
battle, hadn't Naruto said that Tenzou seemed to be focusing on Sakura more
than the other two? Where was Naruto anyway? Surely this was a team mission.
"Senpai!"
Kakashi turned and nodded at Tenzou, signaling him to follow so that they could
talk in private.
"What happened here?"
"We were attacked by four rouge nin, apparently former jounin of the Waterfall
Village. They were too powerful for only us to handle, and it didn't help they
had the home field advantage. Most managed to flee the village but many were
killed or injured, it was only thanks to..." Yamato paused and looked away from
Kakashi to stare at the massive waterfall to his right. "Thanks to Naruto that
any of us survived."
Kakashi clenched his teeth, he was worried about what he would hear next. He
prayed the boy was alright.
"Where is he?"
The brunette looked down at the ground. "I don't know, he ran after the
remaining enemies after they stole something sacred from the villagers."
Kakashi, keeping the turmoil he felt tightly on lock down, gave a stern nod and
signaled for his partner to scout the area for any fresh traces of Naruto or
enemy.
"Tenzou, tend to the wounded, we will search and eliminate the enemy," he
wanted to say that he would find Naruto but he had his suspicions that he
needn't have to tell the mokuton user for him to understand the meaning behind
Kakashi's words.
As the ANBU made his way to scout around the waterfall edge he heard whispers
from a familiar voice directed at Tenzou. "Who is that man sensei? I'm sure
I've seen him somewhere before."
Kakashi cringed as he knelt down to trace his fingers over a bootprint left in
the ground, at least an hour old he suspected. It was entirely possible that
Sakura could have seen him on duty upon one of the rooftops back in the village
but he pulled his hood up to cover his silver hair as precaution. He couldn't
afford for any of his old team to recognize and reveal his
identity...especially to Naruto.
The sun was setting by the time the two men had managed to track down the
enemy. The report had said there were four rouge nin yet here there were only
three here; two men and a woman. Where was the fourth? And more importantly,
where was Naruto? He prayed that he'd been sensible and returned to his team
but somehow Kakashi couldn't quite convince himself that he believed that.
The enemy were rather easy to eliminate, well at least they were to Kakashi; he
could see why his old team would have struggled though. He hadn't even met the
leader so he couldn't judge quite yet. Only when they managed to make it to the
cave that had supposedly been a meeting place for the rouge nin (according to
one of the dying men) it wasn't what either of them had expected. The place was
practically destroyed, there was blood on the floor and walls of the cave and
as the two men ventured further in they noticed a blond boy dressed in orange
kneeling in front of a pile of rocks.
Kakashi had to use all of his willpower not to rush over there at the first
sight of his beloved jinchuuriki. He feared that Naruto had not made it through
the fight but as he slowly edged toward the boy he noticed that he was awake,
staring at the big pile of rocks. His clothes were filthy and tattered, blood
stains along his chest and arms, rips from where he'd been struck but yet no
wound could be seen underneath. Blood spattered his face, most of it smudged
over his whiskered cheeks from where Naruto had clearly wiped his tears away.
The boy didn't turn to look at who had shown up, Kakashi was just glad that it
was them instead of the other three formed jounin; ANBU may look vicious but
this time they didn't have malicious intent toward the boy. Kakashi knelt down
next to the traumatized genin, a look of concern hidden behind his mask.
"Naruto?" The blond didn't show any sign of acknowledging Kakashi. "Do you know
where the enemy went?" Kakashi needed to know, for all he knew the three of
them could be in severe danger.
A minute went by where nothing was said, the boy still staring ahead of him,
barely blinking, his pupils full blown. Then he nodded slowly, gaze never
wavering. "The rocks..."
It was all Kakashi needed to know what had happened with sick realization just
where the splattered blood on Naruto's face had come from. On closer inspection
of the rocks he could see a pool of blood seeping out to stain the dirt
underneath his feet. He looked up and it was rather obvious that part of the
cave had collapsed, narrowly missing Naruto, instead hitting the man and
crushing him beneath several tonnes of rubble.
Kakashi swallow hard...this was an all too familiar situation. Turning away he
hauled Naruto to his feet and slung him over his shoulder; the boy soon passed
out, most likely from chakra exhaustion and shock. They should get out, it
wasn't safe; the cave could collapse at any minute.
The two ANBU delivered Naruto back to the Waterfall village, their mission
complete. As much as Kakashi wished he could have taken the blond straight to
Konoha hospital, it was not part of his mission so instead he was forced to
leave the boy with his team, a handful of medic nin and chunin that had been
sent and then make a quick departure back to the village to report the success
of the mission.
He glanced over at the boy a few meters away, who had been almost completely
healed by Kyuubi but had yet to fully recover from the shock. The kid was
looking back at him, his blue eyes the shade of the ocean in the light of the
setting sun. Even under all the grime and blood he still looked beautiful.
Kakashi turned his head away and made his leave.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
For the past month Kakashi had been silently keeping track of Naruto when he
was officially off duty; it's not like he had anything better to do in his free
time now. He almost convinced himself that it wasn't stalking and it wasn't in
the slightest bit creepy. His attempt at keeping well away from Naruto seemed
to have slipped out of his grasp and disappeared down the drain. He sighed out
of disappointment for himself...so much for impeccable self control. Self
control didn't seem to be a thing when Naruto was involved in his life.
He tried telling himself that Naruto wasn't involved in his life but when the
blond took up 90% of his thoughts he couldn't exactly deny it; especially when
he was constantly worried that Naruto had not been recovering very well from
the cave incident. It was only recently that the kid had been made fit for duty
again; at least to head out on missions with his team anyway. If Kakashi could
observe him from afar then he didn't have the constant need to interact with
the blond, it was a fair deal he'd somehow made with himself.
Crouched in a nearby tree, Kakashi watched Naruto retreat to his apartment for
the night, the dim lights flickering on behind the closed curtains. At least
now he was reassured that Naruto was safe at home for the night so that he
didn't get the nagging feeling something was wrong through the whole of his
shift. He took one last look before backing off to get ready.
The night dragged on even though he was less restless than the previous nights
of constant 'what if's' that plagued his thoughts more often than not. Humming
to himself he peered at the village lights surrounding him in all directions;
the village had definitely grown in the years since the last shinobi war, that
he was glad of but even then, the bigger the village, the more danger it
attracted. Logic aside, Konoha at night brought a sort of peaceful atmosphere
with it, especially with a clear night like tonight. The thousands of stars
that spread out over the night sky twinkled and the full moon shone and lit the
tree tops of the nearby forests. Kakashi would have said it was a very romantic
setting, much like one of the scenes in his book, yet he was alone so he
couldn't admit to such a thing.
"I never had a chance to thank you." A gravelly voice, just above a whisper.
Ah...not alone then. How ironic that it had to be him of all people. Kakashi
didn't turn around, instead he lowered his head from looking at the stars to
look at the concrete below him.
Footsteps interrupted the silence as Naruto came and sat at the edge of the
roof, legs dangling over the edge. Kakashi remained standing, he focused on the
soft blond hair, almost silver in the moonlight.
"I'm glad you were the one who came for me...it's taken me a long time to
recover," he silently admitted. His blue eyes raised to focus on the eye holes
of the Hound mask. "But I think you know that."
Kakashi was the one to look away this time. "I don't know what you mean. A
mission was assigned to me and that was what I carried out; it did not matter
whether it happened to be you in that cave or someone else, I would have
reacted the same way and treated the situation at hand with complete
professionalism. It was a mission, not a voluntary act to come and save you in
particular, especially when you clearly disobeyed your team and deliberately
put yourself in danger when there was no need."
Naruto glared at the man, his brow furrowed. "It was necessary to go after
them! I wanted to go after them! They...they took something sacred from the
village, I couldn't let them get away with it."
"And that there is your problem Naruto, what is necessary and what you want to
do are two completely different things. It was not necessary to go after them,
what was necessary was to remain with your team and keep the remaining
villagers safe. You should have stayed with them and waited for backup so that
you could give the necessary information so that more experienced shinobi could
track the enemy down. It was not your mission to risk your life Naruto, there's
a reason genin are not sent on anything higher than a C-rank mission."
"W-What?!" The blond shouted, jumping to his feet to stand facing Kakashi. "And
it's your priority to risk your life?! How is your life any less valuable than
mine or someone elses?! Don't make me laugh, sure you carried out your mission
with the utmost 'professionalism' but don't pretend not to know what you've
been doing since then! I know you've been following me, so don't give me all
this shit about how it wouldn't be any different if it were me or not because I
highly doubt you'd treat other people like this! Or was that just another
mission?!" Naruto was breathing heavily now. Kakashi was dumb struck, how had
Naruto known he was following him, had he really been that obvious? "A-and
sometimes you need to do what your heart and gut tell you to do instead of what
some writing on a scroll tells you to do. Sometimes doing what you want to
do is necessary..." Naruto turned his head away and closed his eyes, his
shoulders slumping almost in defeat. He muttered something under his breath.
The silence between them was tense. Kakashi didn't know how to reply to the boy
in front of him, how he had been an idiot for letting slip of his emotions and
potentially putting his identity at risk. And he was right...following Naruto
was not professional and no he would not be doing it if it were anyone else.
"Yes, it is my priority and my job to risk my life for the protection of this
village, and yes my life has less value than yours."
Naruto clenched his fists by his sides, clearly restraining the need to hit or
grab the man stood so calmly, almost nonchalantly, in front of him. "GRRRR why
cant you just-!" He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his rage, managing
only to lower is voice this time. "Why can't you just take that mask off..."
"You know I-"
"Oh just shut up!"
Naruto stormed off, walking briskly to the other side of the roof. "And stop
following me!" Kakashi saw the kid bounce off the roof and sprint away.
The silver haired man hadn't realized he'd been biting his lip, only now
noticing the blood dampening the fabric of his mask. He was internally
screaming, anger at himself for being so fucking stupid. He knew he should
never have even spoken to the boy again, should have asked Tsunade for a year
long mission somewhere far away, anything other than getting involved with the
blond again. It did neither of them any good, all he did was upset Naruto and
fuck everything up. That's what Kakashi was. A fuck up; that was why every one
he loved was gone or dead, he was cursed. Kakashi tried, he really tried to
stop the tears falling down his cheeks.
Chapter End Notes
     A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has faved/
     followed and reviewed this fic so far, waking up and seeing people
     actually interested in something I've written really makes my day. :
     ) I'm sorry if updating is a bit slower over the next week; it's just
     that I'm away from home to see family so there's always someone
     looking over my shoulder or needing my attention but I promise I'll
     update when I can! Thank you again!
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.
     Pairings: KakaNaru
     Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi
     Kishimoto.
     A/N: Even though updates have been a bit slower than usual, I've not
     given up on this story, I've just been busy so please bare with me, I
     promise I'll update whenever I have the chance to. :)
Eight months. Eight long months had passed since he'd last spoken to Naruto. He
could have said eight months without seeing the blond jinchuuriki but that
would be a lie, only because he did often see him around the village but Naruto
either never noticed him or refused to acknowledge his existence. Quite frankly
it was getting to Kakashi more than he'd like to admit, in fact it was driving
him mad. It was painful to see him interact with everyone he knew with such
carefree words and an open heart and yet Kakashi was left in the shadows;
outside of the circle of people Naruto felt anything for.
He stayed true to the words he'd told himself that night, he promised he'd give
up following Naruto for his own satisfaction. Only now he really had no one to
speak to, or rather he had no inspiration to speak to anyone else on a
friendship level; he felt utterly alone and he hated it and he hated to admit
that he hated it.
The talk with Tsunade had gone well, she was reluctant to let one of her best
shinobi go but she finally agreed to assign him to a year long mission to the
land of Wind, to help out with important diplomatic business; his job being to
protect the higher ups he would be accompanying from Konoha in case of
assassination. If things went well he'd been told to take on a new team to
train.
He had one week left in Konoha to get his things packed and various other
things sorted. Not that he really needed that amount of time, he was tempted to
leave now but orders were orders. In the mean time he'd asked for a few more
ANBU missions to keep himself busy, luckily his request was acknowledged and he
was given regular guard duty; nothing too dangerous they'd said.
So here he was, standing on his regular rooftop in the middle of the village on
a night much like the night Naruto had shown up and thanked him for something
that Kakashi would have done in a heart beat regardless of what his orders
were.
"I'm sorry," a quiet voice, still so familiar but one he'd not heard properly
for almost a year. Heh, caught off guard again Kakashi mused.
This time the ANBU turned his head to look at the boy, moonlight silhouetting
his figure. Kakashi's throat felt dry at the sight of the teen.
"You have nothing to be sorry for."
Naruto strolled over to the taller figure, stopping when he stood close enough
that Kakashi could reach out and touch the boy who he no longer felt was real;
he could be a figment of his imagination for all the man knew.
"I do...I'm sorry for being a dick. What I said...it was out of order."
The kid once again sat down on the edge of the roof, only this time Kakashi
joined him, a silent gesture that told the blond he was forgiven.
A sad smile appeared on Naruto's lips as he looked at the Hound mask. "Hound
huh?" He chuckled quietly.
Kakashi looked at the boy sideways. "Is something funny?"
"Ah no...no it's nothing...I just...ah no," he stumbled over his words and
beamed at him. "I'm just glad we're talking again, it's good to see you
properly after so long. I uh..." He blushed a deep shade of red. "I missed
you."
"You barely know me Naruto."
Naruto frowned. "Well maybe not as much as...uh maybe I could get to know you?
I have this awesome new jutsu I learned maybe I could show you?...You could
help me improve it if you...like?" He was still blushing deeply.
Kakashi wondered what the boy was up to, was he trying to...flirt? It had been
a long time since someone had flirted with Kakashi.
"Uh..."
"I mean it's cool if you don't want to!" The boy chuckled giddily and rubbed
the back of his head awkwardly. "I just thought that maybe...Y'know maybe you'd
be proud of me if you saw it."
Kakashi sat silently, thinking this through. It was a bad idea, he didn't think
he could resist Naruto if their training session got a bit to...physical.
"No." That was put more bluntly than he would have liked and he could see
Naruto's smile drop. "I mean...I would like that and I appreciate the offer but
I don't think...I don't think..." He took a deep breath, trying to force the
words out. "It's just that, I'm going away so..." He shook his head, now
finding it hard to believe he was chucking this opportunity away. Maybe Naruto
was genuinely interested in him, maybe he wanted to...no the boy didn't even
know who he was speaking to. But if he did...If he knew what he was getting in
to then Kakashi no longer had any reason to say no to the blond.
Naruto frowned, blush now gone. "You're going away?"
Kakashi nodded. "Yes I have a mission to attend to in the land of Wind for a
year, maybe longer."
"W-what?! No! You can't go!"
Kakashi was rather shocked at the reaction he received. Why was Naruto so
bothered now when they hadn't even spoken in eight months?
"Calm down Naruto. I have to do it, it's the mission that was assigned to me."
"No! Please you have to stay, I need you."
Kakashi sighed and stood up, putting distance between the two of them.
"You don't need me, you don't know me, you don't know anything about me."
Naruto, looking defeated, rose to his feet as well, not looking at Kakashi
anymore. "Right, ok.."
If it were anyone else he would have brushed them off and dismissed them,
showing as little concern for their emotions as possible but this was
different, he genuinely cared what Naruto felt. It almost felt like a crime
against all that was holy to deliberately hurt this boy.
"I won't be gone forever, I'll be back again when the mission's over, maybe
then you could show me some new techniques you've mastered."
What a poor attempt at cheering someone up. Great going Kakashi.
"When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning," Kakashi said with a hint of an apology, never looking away
from those bright blue eyes, burning them into his memory in dread that he
would ever forget them.
"Do you think that we could talk for a bit longer? It's just that I don't want
to go home quite yet and well...everyone else is in bed." Naruto questioned
hesitantly, with a hint of sadness and uncertainty.
"Sure," this time Kakashi remained standing while Naruto lay flat on his back
and looked up at the stars.
"Do you have a have a girlfriend or a wife, Hound?"
"No," Kakashi said nonchalantly, briefly considering whether he should have
mentioned his ex-wife but decided against it. The kid was just being curious.
"What about a boyfriend?"
"No, but even if I did do you think I'd tell you?"
Naruto snorted with laughter. "I guess not, you've always been pretty
secretive."
Kakashi frowned, they'd only ever spoken a few times yet Naruto was talking as
if they'd known each other forever.
"I used to have a boyfriend," Naruto said factually. Kakashi cringed, he really
didn't want to know of the escapades between Naruto and Sasuke. "I thought I
loved him at one point; I thought he was the one..."
Frowning, he turned to look at the figure stood to the right of him.
"But I found out it wasn't actually him I loved."
"Who was it that you mistook your love for Sasuke for?"
Naruto smirked. "It would be too easy if I just outright told you."
"I'm not guessing if that's what you want me to do," as much as Kakashi wanted
to know it probably wasn't all that a good idea anyway.
"Hmm...no but I do want you to answer me one thing..." The boy was now sat up
facing him.
"I'll answer if it's within reason."
That wicked smirk was still plastered on Naruto's face. "So tell me how you
knew it was Sasuke when I didn't even mention a name?"
Kakashi shrugged, giving off the complete opposite impression of what he was
feeling inside. He wanted to slap himself for becoming too comfortable around
the boy to not even notice the kid hadn't mentioned a name. Fuck.
"News spreads quickly in this village."
"Yeah but you don't seem like the type to listen or even memorize irrelevant,
barely worth knowing, gossip...Hound."
Silence.
"Or maybe we should start calling each other by our real names shall
we...Kakashi."
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"I don't know who you think you're talking to but-"
Kakashi was interrupted when the blond teen forced the older man to face him
and snatched the ANBU mask from his face. The two stared at each other, for
once Naruto was almost impossible to read but Kakashi however, was like an open
book, shock and everything he'd been feeling since he parted from the boy, wide
open for anyone to pick apart.
He couldn't move, his muscles refused to work because the one person he had
ever truly loved, the one who owned his heart and still does, was stood mere
inches away from him. Their bodies so close, their breath mingling (when had
Naruto pulled down his mask?); Kakashi was sure Naruto could hear how fast his
heart was beating behind his rib cage.
And then, finally, after so many agonizing minutes, or was it hours, Naruto
closed the gap between them; soft, warm lips pressed again cool, dry ones. Arms
snaked around Kakashi's waist, trailing lightly up the contours of his armour.
Kakashi was in bliss, the onslaught of his thoughts and feelings too much that
he hadn't even reacted; he couldn't.
It had ended as quickly as it had begun; Naruto pulled away and took a few
steps back, believing himself in the wrong for kissing his ex-sensei. The lack
of reaction from the older man had probably seemed like he wasn't interested.
"Im sorry-"
Kakashi lunged, not allowing Naruto to finish his sentence as he took the other
in his arms, pressing their lips together in a ferocious kiss, teeth clanging
against each other, hands roaming each others bodies. Kakashi moved from
Naruto's mouth to trail small kissed and bites down his jawline to lick and
suck at the tender flesh of the blonds throat. The noises Naruto was making
were beautiful, drawing feelings and emotions forth from Kakashi that he hadn't
felt in a very long time.
Just as they started to gain more heat between them, Kakashi fully intending to
take the blond right here and now on the roof, the younger of the two backed
off. He looked utterly disheveled and it sent a jolt straight to Kakashi's
groin just looking at him.
"Are you ok?"
Naruto nodded, trying to catch his breath. His hair was messy, his pupils were
fully blown and a pink tinge coloured his cheeks; if that wasn't a sign that he
was horny as fuck then the very visible bulge in his trousers was, Kakashi
mused.
"Yeah...It's just I think we need to talk before..."
Kakashi swallowed, he didn't want to lose Naruto a second time; as much as he
knew he deserved it after everything he'd done. He gave a stern nod, willing
his body to calm down.
"I have some questions-"
Kakashi mentally berated himself, of course he had questions, but the silver
haired nin didn't think he was in the right frame of mind or even prepared to
answer any of these to the best of his ability right now. So much had happened
in such a short amount of time and he was still trying to wrap the facts around
his head.
"Naruto. I have no right to ask this but please, I need some time to get my
head straight. Perhaps we can talk at your apartment when I finish my shift?"
Naruto looked away but nodded slowly.
"Yeah...I'll see you then."
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Kakashi stood in the bare living room of Naruto's cheap apartment. It was the
middle of the night and the hanging light bulb barely managed to light the
small room, flickering before it gave a small 'pop' and submerging the two
figures into darkness.
"Uhh, you need a new light bulb..."
Kakashi didn't receive a reply so instead he took off his Hound mask and
chucked it on to the nearby sofa; it wasn't like he needed it anymore.
"So, uh-"
"Why did you do it?"
Kakashi pondered the question, he'd done a lot of things to Naruto, he assumed
he was referring to why he left him in the first place but for all Kakashi knew
Naruto might not even have his memories back.
"Could you be more specific?"
"Why did you leave me? You knew I loved you and you knew I was scared that
you'd not want me anymore," it sounded like Naruto was trying his best to keep
himself together.
"I did it because..." Looking back now Kakashi could hardly believe he agreed
to do it in the first place, he realized now that Naruto came before everything
else; Naruto was the most important thing in his life, if he could go back in
time now he'd give the village up in a heartbeat for Naruto. "I did it because
I was an idiot. Tsunade had made an agreement with another clan; she was
adamant that they partner up with the village, so in turn she agreed that one
of her shinobi would marry one of the leaders daughters. She picked me at their
request and of course the council decided they'd like to get involved so.."
Kakashi sighed, clenching his fists in anger at the mere thought of the memory.
"They made it compulsory that I marry Aya and raise a child within the first
two years of our marriage. Apart from that never worked out.
At the time I believed that I was doing it for your happiness, so that you
could live a life where you found love with someone your own age, so you
wouldn't have to constantly feel like I was pushing you away or too ashamed to
tell anyone about us. I thought that if I made you forget, then things would
sort themselves out, I would be safe in the assumption that I would be able to
keep my rank and not be exiled from the village but in doing that I'd suffer
while you wouldn't have any memory of what had happened between us. To see you
happy was all I ever wanted and I pushed you away because I didn't deserve
you."
Kakashi heard footsteps cross the room and then a flip of a switch to turn the
small lamp in the corner on. Naruto stood with is back to Kakashi; he had yet
to say anything and it was nerve racking. Could the blond forgive him?
"You had no right to decide what would or wouldn't make me happy," Naruto
whispered. "You made me happy...we deserved each other."
Kakashi felt ashamed of his action, he wished he could go back in time and
change things but he knew that that was not a possibility, he had to try his
best to mend that gap between the two of them now.
Naruto turned around to face Kakashi, tears in his eyes. "Did you ever love me?
Why did you avoid me? For so long I felt more for you than I thought I should,
I felt ashamed and disgusted with myself...I was confused so I never told you,
it was never a possibility to tell you how I truly felt and yet you knew all a
long, you knew what had happened between us!"
Kakashi pressed his palms over his eyes, he was trying to keep himself calm.
How could he have been so stupid? He should have known that even though Naruto
couldn't remember, the feelings still remained; how could the kid explain that
to himself, let alone to his own sensei?
"And yet you just stood by and watched...watched me, get closer to Sasuke, and
you didn't even-!" Naruto's voice cracked, finally the hurt he felt inside was
too much and the tears broke free. He sobbed. His body racking from the force
of his emotions.
Kakashi reached out hesitantly and took Naruto by the arm to pull him close in
a hug. Wrapping the shivering boy in a tight embrace, he kissed his head in a
comforting manor as Naruto bawled into the jounin's shirt.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, please believe me when I say that it wasn't my intention
to do so. Of course I loved you, I never stopped and I never will, I was
selfish and what I did to you is unforgivable but I want you to know that you
alone own my heart Naruto," he took the blonds face in his hands, raising the
boy's head slightly to look him dead in the eye. "Nothing else matters to me
but you, I live for you, when I'm apart from you it's like I can't breath.
You're my air Naruto, without you I can't live and I may as well not because
life would be pointless. It would be bleak and I know this already because
that's the life I've been living for the past two years."
Kakashi kissed Naruto lightly, lovingly on the lips. "I'm sorry," He kissed him
again. "I'm so, so, so, so sorry."
Naruto's chest is raising and falling with heavy breaths now, staring at the
man in front of him with tears in his eyes. His lips parting, like he has so
many things to say, to explain but can't find the words, not now, not here, not
when the man, he too, lived for was stood in front of him, as real as anything.
The blond was the one who initiated it, pressing his lips ferociously against
Kakashi's in a heated kiss.
Two strides forward and Kakashi has Naruto up against the wall, his orange
jacket unzipped and halfway down his arms. The jounin, ravishing Naruto's
jawline, his neck, his shoulder, and suddenly there is a knee pressed between
the blonds thighs and Naruto audibly moans, failing to bite back the most
erotic noises Kakashi had heard in a long time.
Naruto is trembling against Kakashi, his fingers skimming over the smooth
planes of the ANBU armour, attempting to remove the layers of fabric keeping
them from the blissful friction that they both sought. In Naruto's desperate
haste to strip both of them, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder how long Naruto
had wanted this, or rather needed this. Probably as much as the jounin himself.
Groaning in what sounded like part desperation and part frustration, Naruto's
fiery, lust-filled eyes met Kakashi's equally heat fueled gaze. Stepping back,
Kakashi slowly pulls Naruto through the hallway, unclipping the armour on the
way, heavy thuds mingling with the sound of their heavy breathing as the metal
hits the wooden floor.
Naruto is now sprawled on the bed, still fully clothed sans the jacket,
wimpering from the lack of contact. Kakashi's gaze lingered over the blond,
hardly able to believe that this was happening; he'd missed this so much. The
mans clothes are quickly disposed of by Naruto's frantic, trembling hands, his
hips jerking against the man on top of him. Kakashi shudders at the friction,
heat undulating in his belly as he grinds back down against Naruto, nipping at
the tender flesh of the blonds throat.
The silver haired man makes slow work of removing Naruto's garments, fingers
trailing down rough fabric, caressing tender flesh with his finger tips as he
slips Naruto's T-shirt up and over his head. Both are panting now, the younger
no longer trying to hold back his moans as Kakashi pulls the boys boxers down,
exposing his sensitive cock to the cool air.
And then there is no cloth, no barrier between them and their bodies are
against each other, the heat between them so intense it felt like forever since
either of them had had anything like this. Slow, sensual kisses and firm
thrusts, whispered names and heavy breathing, loving caresses, desperate
groping and both were in bliss.
The night went quicker than either of them had liked, both knowing that the
older of the two would be leaving at dawn. Rolling off of Naruto, panting
heavily, Kakashi thought back to the conversation they'd had a few hours
before, frowning. He wished he'd never requested to leave the village now, as
he peeked over at the sleeping blond next to him. The light of the alarm clock
on Naruto's bed side table flashed 5:07am in big red numbers. Kakashi sighed,
he had to start getting ready in an hour.
"I don't want you to go," a quiet mumble from the usually loud, obnoxious
blond. Kakashi pulled him close, Naruto resting his head on the jounin's chest.
"I know, neither do I."
The two lay in silence for the next few minutes, basking in each others mere
presence, everything at peace for the first time in what felt like forever.
Frowning, something occurred to Kakashi; he hadn't actually asked how Naruto
had managed to regain his memories.
"Uh, Naruto?"
"Mmmm?" The blond hummed, snuggling closer to Kakashi.
"How did you manage to regain your memories? I'm pretty sure only people with
the Shar-" Kakashi wanted to facepalm, of course..."Sasuke..."
Naruto chuckled. "Yeahh it was kind of an accident actually, you see, Sasuke
had me up against the wall and-"
"Naruto! I uh, I actually really don't want to know!"
Naruto laughed out loud, leaning over to give the other a kiss as an apology.
"How did you know it was me when I was Hound? I made sure that my identity was
well hidden, I mean...How?" Kakashi shook his head in confusion.
Naruto shrugged.
"Hinata."
===============================================================================
Two figures walked down the sunny street of Sunagakure, hand in hand, one
speaking enthusiastically, bouncing about and pointing in various directions in
excitement and the other, book in hand, chuckling at the sunny blond.
Life was good.
Chapter End Notes
     A/N: So...finally finished, I literally couldn't decide how I wanted
     to end this fic, I literally had three potential endings to this! I'm
     sorry this chapter took longer to post but I've been so busy lately
     and I'm really sorry if it didn't meet everyone's expectations, I've
     probably missed some things out so if anyone has any questions I'm
     more than happy to answer them. Regarding the 'sex scene', I didn't
     really feel like making it TOO explicit so I also apologize to the
     people who were expecting a lot more!
     Thanks for reading!
     Also, GUYS...KAKASHI'S FACE REVEAL THOUGH!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!