Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/244115.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Kurt_Hummel/Noah_Puckerman
  Character:
      Kurt_Hummel, Noah_Puckerman
  Additional Tags:
      Friends_With_Benefits, Angst, Fluff
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-06-11 Words: 3764
****** We're Making Exceptions ******
by fleurdelisee
Summary
     They have a thing: friends with benefits - well, really,
     ‘acquaintances with benefits’- and they have an unspoken rule: they
     never kiss.
Notes
     Written for this prompt.
     Title from Bang Bang Bang by Christina Perri.
     Originally posted on June 11, 2011.
Kurt never intended to spill it out. It was never part of his plans to blurt
out 'I love you' as Noah slammed into his prostate, making him see stars and
lose control of his mouth, letting words tumble out against his will and for
the worst.
It started as a one-time thing, all the way back when Kurt had joined the
football team.
Kurt, as usual, waited for the other guys to leave the locker room before he
showered, not putting it beyond them to have a mass panic attack if the gay kid
joined them.
To think he wasn't even out yet, back then.
"Hummel," Puck greeted him, making Kurt jump and cling to the folded towel he
held against his chest.
"Puck," Kurt replied, nodding in his direction and making a bee-line for the
showers. He tensed when he heard Puck follow him.
Walking quickly on the cold tiled floor, Kurt headed for the last stall, as far
from Puck as he could get. He didn't trust this guy, never had and surely never
would. He could feel Puck's eyes on him as he stripped, the half-wall not
making him feel safe at all.
"What do you want?" Kurt eventually asked, keeping his eyes tightly closed and
hurrying through a ritual that usually took him a half-hour.
"I'm thinking."
Kurt bit his tongue so he didn't snap 'you know how to?' It was no time to be
cocky, not when he was naked and Puck was staring at him.
"Well hurry up with that thinking because right now you're just being creepy. I
wonder how your little friends would react if they knew you stalked me as I
took a shower?"
"You look like a chick," Puck said, but the tone he used made it sound like he
was actually talking to himself rather than to Kurt.
"I beg your pardon?" Kurt stammered, his eyes widening and immediately filling
with shampoo. He yelped and rinsed them.
"I'm not gay."
Now Kurt was thoroughly confused and a little bit scared. "Neither am I," he
replied with little conviction. He could not even convince himself anymore.
"Yeah, right. It doesn't matter. I'm badass so I can do pretty much anything,
right?" Kurt raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Perhaps if he ignored him,
Puck would go away. "What about a ride in the back of my car on Friday night?"
Kurt braced himself on the wall in front of him, the tile slimy and gross under
his skin, but cold, which helped the dizziness that now filled his brain.
"You—you are not offering to drive me home, are you?" he asked because he had
to. He had to make sure he was not hallucinating.
"I will afterwards if you insist."
"I can't believe this," Kurt said, turning off the water. He had to get out of
there. He had to get as far away from Puck as he possibly could. Maybe if he
tried hard enough he might convince his father to move to Idaho or Nebraska. Or
the moon.
"Don't act like a bashful virgin, Hummel. I know you are, and I'm offering you
to get rid of that. And let's face it, I'm the best fuck in town."
"But I'm a guy, you know that, Noah, right? Maybe I look feminine or whatever
you're telling yourself to make you feel better about this, but I am a guy.
With all the—the parts."
"I'm not scared of your dick, dude. Besides, a hole's a hole."
Kurt's eyes widened and he let out a strangled, high-pitched noise. "You are
not putting anything in there, Noah Puckerman. Mark my words."
Puck grabbed his arm as Kurt made his way back to the locker room, eager to get
out of the school and go hide in his bed until everyone he knew had died.
"Listen to me, kid," Puck almost growled, his grip on Kurt's arm tight enough
to bruise. His breath was warm on Kurt’s cheek and he blushed. "I know you dig
Hudson but you'll never have him. You'll never have anyone in this school. I'm
offering you to have a mind-blowing orgasm. Take it or leave it. I won't offer
this twice. Just know that no one ever said no to Puckzilla."
"So what, you'll rape me?" The words left Kurt's lips before he could stop
them.
"Dude, wow, no. I'm not some kind of freak.” He took a step back but still held
Kurt’s arm. “I'm just saying people are actually waiting in line to bone me."
Puck's delusions were almost cute, Kurt had to admit. "Well, I'm saying no."
"Oh, come on, dude! You'd actually enjoy this, you know. And then, when you
meet someone like you, you'll know what to do!"
"Someone like me," Kurt snarled and shook his arm out of Puck's hold.
As he walked to his locker, Kurt took the time to take in Puck, to really look
at him and see the boy behind the bully. He could never score someone like that
on his own. This hit him like a ton of bricks. It was an inevitability of the
world: Kurt Hummel would never, ever convince someone looking like Puck to
sleep with him. And there he was, turning down an offer to do exactly that.
"Suppose I say yes," he began warily, staring into the depth of his locker.
"I'm a gentleman, Kurt. I won't force you into anything."
"You just forced me into sex."
"I talked you into sex. But I'm serious. It's just a way to get off. For you,
it's going to be like a crash course and for me, it'll just reinforce how
badass I am."
"No one can know."
"Of course not. You think I want to go around saying I'm banging the school's
fairy? I'm straight."
"So am I," Kurt said and slammed his locker.
"This has to stop, by the way. You're not fooling anyone."
Kurt did the mistake to lower his eyes. All of the bravado and lies he had
built up crumbled as his eyes flickered down under Puck's gaze. "Whatever."
"Awesome! I'll pick you up at 8 on Friday. If anyone asks, you're tutoring me
in math." Kurt shrugged and kept staring at the floor as Puck walked past him
and towards the door. "Hey, if you're lucky, maybe some of my badassery will
rub off on you."
"Get out of my face."
The actual date was a disaster. Kurt was too nervous and Puck was too rough and
they nearly had to stop when Kurt's elbow landed on a half-eaten Twinkie
abandoned on the backseat of Puck's car. Eventually, though, Puck's relentless
rubbing against his thigh along with his mind replacing him with images of Finn
brought Kurt to the edge and he had his first ever orgasm with someone else a
few inches away from him. Kurt had expected a kiss, but not once did their lips
meet.
"Next week, same time?" Puck asked as his car slowed down in front of the
Hummels'.
Kurt blinked and kept his eyes locked on the street outside the windshield. His
mind was screaming for him to turn down the offer, but the heaviness in his
limbs, the memory of how incredible it felt to come and feel someone else's
warm breath against his neck, to smell them all around you – and Puck was a
gentleman, he had shaved and put on cologne and his smell was a teensy bit
intoxicating – made him agree.
"But not the back of your car. My dad's going out with friends. We'll do it
here."
"Deal."
In the upcoming months, whenever Kurt would stop whatever he was doing - and as
time went by, it became a variation on the theme of 'having sex with Puck' most
of the time - and wonder how he'd manage to get himself trapped in this, this
would be the moment that popped in his head. The time he actively contributed
to make this happen.
They were good at hiding it, though. No one suspected a thing, not ever. It was
also almost too easy to pretend he still hated Puck during the school day, and
then slip into this ‘friends with benefits’ routine as soon as a door was
separating them from the world.
There were some subtle changes in their dynamics as the month went by. Puck
stopped his active bullying, stopped tossing Kurt in dumpster, stopped laughing
at gay jokes. Kurt came out and held his head high about it, and Puck would
joke and say it was his 'badassery' that Kurt had learned to adopt, but only
when his face was buried in Kurt’s neck or pressed into a pillow; never in the
real world.
And that was the thing. They talked and joked together. Kurt would give Puck's
advice to make his mohawk look better and Puck would show Kurt how to use his
own weight to lessen the impact of being pushed up against a locker. Puck would
sometimes open up about his family, and then about the stress of having knocked
up Quinn. Kurt would tell him about how he felt alone, how he was losing his
father, about his fear that he'd never fit in anywhere. They talked and Kurt
was aware it was dangerous.
The one boundary they had silently set was to never kiss. Their lips never met
and for the longest time, Kurt was fine with it. But then, as his brain began
registering how certain shirts did wonders to Puck's arms, or how the light
flickered in his eyes and made them sparkle, the urge to kiss him became
overwhelming. He knew it would be it, though. He knew that locking lips with
Puckerman would completely destroy what they had. And he knew that doing it
would mean admitting to himself he loved Puck.
He wasn't ready to assume this. Not yet. Perhaps never. Probably never.
Hopefully never.
“So, how’s Quinn?” Kurt asked one day as he was playing video games with Finn,
Puck, Mike, Artie and Matt. Now that Finn shared his house, those guys were
often around. Kurt wasn’t sure he was thrilled with seeing Puck so often in a
context where they had to keep their clothes one.
“Pregnancy hormones, man. She keeps yelling at me. It’s better now that she
moved in with Mercedes, but it’s still hard.”
“Mm,” Kurt hummed, risking a glance at Puck and – predictably – losing himself
in admiring the curve where his neck met his shoulder and the strong muscles of
his back, visible thanks to the thin shirt he wore. “If she gets crazy on
Mercedes, she’ll slap her back into reason, preggers or not.”
“Definitely. You seem like the only person Mercedes likes. That must feel great
not to be yelled at by her all the time.”
“That’s because I’m flawless,” Kurt replied with a huff, hiding his smirk the
best he could. Puck didn’t miss it, though, and he mirrored it. “Speaking of
her, I have to go. She’s waiting for me to go shopping. Sales at H&M. A matter
of life and death, but I don’t expect you guys to understand this.”
“I’ll drive you, I was leaving.” Puck sprung up and Kurt sent him a warning
glare, one that said ‘be very careful with what you’ll say next.’
The glare did not deter Puck and Kurt never made it to Mercedes. He texted her
hurriedly while Puck tugged on his skinny jeans, manhandling him to lay him
down on the backseat of his car.
“Mercedes isn’t buying the ‘bed-ridden with a cold’ excuse.” Kurt couldn’t tear
his eyes away from Puck as he stripped and wiggled his eyebrows. “You better
finance the mountain of gifts it’ll take me to make her forget this.”
“Yeah, whatever, now I think you should get your mouth on my cock.”
“Then why did you nearly give me a concussion to get me to lie underneath you?”
Kurt snapped, nonetheless eyeing Puck’s cock and licking his lips. When Puck
crawled closer and closer, until he was straddling his chest, Kurt got it. “Oh.
Oh god. Yes.”
When the summer rolled in, Kurt had to admit that this whole thing had gotten
too far. He still enjoyed it as much as the first time, if not more –
definitely more, actually – but it had to stop one day and somehow, he could
feel this day drawing near as they spent more and more time together.
Driving down dirt roads until they were away from civilisation, eating in the
middle of a field with nothing but open land for miles around them, listening
to Puck strumming his guitar to the beat of a song only he knew, Kurt could get
used to it. And that where their problem was.
“Noah.” Kurt chose his moment to speak up, when the silence stretching between
them was comfortable and not weighted down by the many unspoken things between
them. “We have to talk.”
“You’re already doing a great job at it. Talk at me, I want to take a nap.”
Kurt rolled his eyes and shook his head, stretching his leg to playfully kick
him in the ribs. The yellowed grass Puck was lying on harmonised perfectly with
his tanned skin and Kurt really had to stop looking at him like that.
“I’m serious. We need to talk about this thing we have.”
Puck pulled himself up on one elbow to look at Kurt. “We have nothing.”
“You know that’s wrong.” Kurt held his gaze, refusing to cower away from his
eyes like he had months ago. “You never kiss me.” Well, that wasn’t supposed to
leave his lips.
“We’re not a couple, Hummel.” Puck’s slip back into calling Kurt by his last
name stung. “We’ll never be. We’re fuck buddies. Don’t fucking pull a Santana
on me and start getting attached. I already have Quinn to deal with and her
post-partum is killing me.”
“You’re not even dating her,” Kurt snapped, curling in on himself.
“Yeah but at least she’s a girl.” Puck shrugged and laid back down, using his
arms as a pillow and closing his eyes.
Kurt winced and took a shuddering breath. “You’re an asshole,” he breathed out.
“I can’t believe I ever thought you were different.” Kurt could not keep the
hurt from showing in his voice; it shook and then broke on the last word, going
into a pitch so high only bats would hear him.
“You sound like you’re surprised.” Puck sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry.
It’s my fault, I started the whole thing. Look, Kurt.” He took Kurt’s hand in
his and held his eyes. “I just want something easy, okay? Jerking off got old.
If I want drama, I’ll ask a girl out.”
Kurt wanted to protest, he wanted to yell at Puck that he wanted more but he
wasn’t allowed to. Those were the terms of their arrangement, laid out in the
open; the ones he had agreed on in September.
“Alright,” Kurt replied with a shrug of his own, falling on his back and
covering his eyes with his arms. Puck’s hand came to rest on his stomach and
lingered for a few seconds. Minutes later, Kurt could still feel its warmth
right over the knot he still had in his stomach.
The knot was still very much in place as Kurt waved Burt, Carole and Finn out
of the house, a fake smile plastered on his face. Minutes later, Puck was on
the doorstep, his trademark smirk on. Kurt’s heart fluttered and his bit his
lip, willing himself to ignore it.
They didn’t lose time – they never did – and before he knew it, Kurt was pinned
against the couch cushions, his face pressed in it until he could barely
breathe, while Puck thrust into him, hard and dirty and intended to make this
as pleasurable and fast as possible.
The rhythm Puck had going on was already driving Kurt insane, but when he
slammed into his prostate, it all came blurting out. Everything he felt for
Puck compressed into three tiny words: ‘I love you.’ Three unfortunate words
that immediately made Puck pull out and move off the couch.
Kurt kept his face pressed against the itchy wool, his eyes tightly shut to
keep the tears in.
“What the hell, dude?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I ruined everything, didn’t I?
You can leave, I’ll understand,” Kurt rambled, not daring to look at Puck, not
wanting to see the rejection on his face.
“Kurt.” Puck’s voice was soft and unexpectedly close. He jumped when he felt a
warm hand on his shoulder. “Dude, look at me. Hey, Hummel, look up. It’s okay.”
Kurt’s entire body tensed. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not. It’s okay.”
Kurt finally turned his head, just in time to see Puck closing in on him. He
rolled him on his back and then picked him up bridal style. Kurt had grown up
over the course of the year, but he was still shorter than Puck and clearly
light enough to be carried around without a problem.
Kurt wrapped his arms around Puck’s shoulders, completely silent as he walked
them up to Kurt’s room. He expected to be dropped unceremoniously on his bed
but Puck was careful when he put him down, making sure he was lying against his
pillows.
He didn’t lose time slipping back in and it took Kurt a few seconds to get used
to the feeling. It was their first time doing it facing each other, which in
itself felt really odd. Kurt had expected Puck to walk out without a word; when
he didn’t, his next expectation, the only logical one, was that he would want
to finish everything quickly and then end everything. Not look deeply into
Kurt’s eyes as he slowly thrust in.
Kurt’s chest rose and fell at an increasingly fast rhythm, his hands coming up
to grip Puck’s shoulders, fingers digging into the flesh as this new pace made
him feel all those wonderful things he never thought possible.
That was the moment Puck chose to lean down and kiss Kurt. Not a peck or an
accidental brush of lips; in a matter of seconds, he had sucked Kurt’s bottom
lip between his own, his tongue licking it relentlessly. Kurt gasped, hips
thrusting up, and Puck slipped his tongue into Kurt’s mouth.
Kurt kissed back, responding to Puck’s presses of lips and licks with his own,
trying to remember everything Brittany taught him before letting go and
trusting his instincts. Puck’s lips tore from his and trailed down his cheek to
his right ear, nibbling the lobe stopping like he meant to say something. A
sharp intake of breath later Puck was kissing his jaw and then down his throat,
his hips never stopping languidly pressing into Kurt’s.
“Shit, Kurt,” he breathed out. Kurt closed his eyes. It was too good to last.
Puck was back at whispering dirty things and calling him names that were
degrading to the human race as a whole. “You don’t even know, have no idea.” A
kiss to his sternum, a lick to his left nipple. “You’re so precious, so
gorgeous, babe, no idea”
Kurt’s eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. “Noah,” he struggled
to say, his eyes closing tight as Puck once again hit his prostate, sending
sparks through his body. It felt so good it almost hurt.
“Hush, don’t talk.” Puck reached up and stroked Kurt’s hair, pushing it out of
his forehead. “Keep your voice, I want you to sing for me later. Your singing
voice, dude, you have no idea. When you sang Defying Gravity, I was so turned
on I thought I was going to pass you.”
Kurt tried to steady his breath as Puck continued whispering words that made
absolutely no sense in his ears. This was Noah Puckerman and he was listing all
the things he loved about Kurt and it made no sense.
Kurt came when Puck sucked at the patch of skin behind his ear and he followed
soon, choking out something that sounded a lot like ‘I love you’ even though
Kurt refused to believe it. Kurt lay motionless on his bed for a moment while
Puck got rid of the condom so he could catch his breath. He was about to sit up
when the other boy came back and wrapped an arm around his waist.
“Turn over,” Puck whispered against the skin of his neck and Kurt obliged, Puck
pressing himself against his back as soon as he was on his side. “I owe you an
explanation,” he said, punctuating his sentence with a kiss to the back of
Kurt’s neck.
“You think?” Kurt tried for cocky but ended up sounding lost and confused.
“I love you.”
Kurt let out a sound halfway between a squeal and a shriek, his breath picking
up again. “Very funny.”
“I’m not joking. Why do you think I started this whole thing with you? I could
have had any cheerleader I wanted but I went for the closeted gay kid. Why do
you think?”
“I was an easy prey.”
“You were fucking gorgeous and I was crazy about you, yeah. That’s more like
it. And I know you don’t believe me and I’ve been awful to you and I’m sorry.
You were kind of scary and I was confused and the usual bully apology.”
Kurt stayed silent for a while, trying to clear his head. Puck was planting
kissing on the back of his neck and down his shoulders and back, sometimes
stopping to nuzzle Kurt’s hair, his hands pressed into Kurt’s belly, warm and
solid against the tender skin.
“Why me?”
“Fuck if I know. I just know I’ve got you under my skin and there’s nothing I
can do about it. And I know you reciprocate it, now, so you’ll have to deal
with me even more.” There was amusement in Puck’s voice and Kurt smiled.
“We’ll see that after you’ve taken me out on a date, Noah,” Kurt replied once
he trusted his voice. “But I’m a gentleman, you know, and I don’t put out on
the first date.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m dead serious, Noah. Now that we’re going to be in a proper relationship,
you’ll have to work to touch this. I’m not easy, sir.”
Puck snorted and Kurt elbowed him. “After this nap?”
Kurt grinned and moved closer to Puck. “After this nap.”
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