Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/8803477. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: Multi Fandom: Drunks_roleplay Relationship: random_peeple Character: Drunk_-_Character, Ivan, Harry_Warden, Possibly_More_-_Character Additional Tags: wtf_is_this Stats: Published: 2016-12-10 Updated: 2016-12-21 Chapters: 3/? Words: 1966 ****** Weird shitt happening on steam mount and blade rp's ****** by Lannister4Life Summary You should not read this if you value your mental health. Notes WARNING DO NOT READ IF UNDER 30! See the end of the work for more notes ***** Why is this real ***** Drunk Robbie Rotten: Can I cut off your dick Drunk Robbie Rotten: And stick a bean in it King Ivan: maybe Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Removes your pubic hairs one by one* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Makes a mustace for you from your pubic hairs* Drunk Robbie Rotten: There King Ivan: danks Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Pulls out your eyes* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Makes a hole in your scrotum* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Drains fluid* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Removes testicles* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Replaces your eyeballs in your scrotum, and your testicles in your eye sockets* Drunk Robbie Rotten: There King Ivan: thanks dad King Ivan: plz King Ivan: i want ur ass noa Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Shoves your head in my ass* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Sucks in your head further with my ass* King Ivan: wow dad Drunk Robbie Rotten: *takes a shit* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *my shit goes into your mouth* King Ivan: *sucks shit down throat* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *sucks your head into my large intestine* King Ivan: *shoves legs down ur throat* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *breaks your legs* King Ivan: Prys open ur nose, and shves dick all the way up your ass and out your mouth* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *my stomach acid desolves the middle of your dick* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *I bite off the tip of your dick* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Your dick is severed in two* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *swallows one half of it* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Sucks in the other* Drunk Robbie Rotten: Both enter my stomach* King Ivan: *cuts off ball sack, and shoves down harrys wardens throat* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Grabs you* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Shits you out* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Ties you to a building* Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Shoves a steel rod up your asshole* King Ivan: *jumps out of ass and flys out window into space* King Ivan: The end ***** Nipple time ***** Chapter Summary ;-; By common request Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes One day harold harnipples met harold softnipples. Harold sucked softnipples extremely soft nipples, and slapped his ass with a mustard jar. Softnipple cummed out of his nipples, and hardnipples swalloed it all They then started sucking eachothers ballsacks, and chewing the hair off it. They made the hair into mustachios, and put them on each other Drunk burst through the window, and started hitting them both with a giant dildo In unision, both nipples grabbed the dildo, and shoved it down drunks ass. Then everyone orgasimed and lived happily ever after getting high. THE END Chapter End Notes xD ***** dank meme school roleplay ***** Chapter Summary why is this real? Drunk Repressed Farmer: yo Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Is dat kewl gum dealer at scool* Ivan the Turtle: wat Ivan the Turtle: u have em 2 Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Who is so cool he got 3 detentions in a day* Drunk Repressed Farmer: Yo Drunk Repressed Farmer: How much gum ya want Ivan the Turtle: 5 nigerian blaots plz Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Throws up five double bubbles* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Catches them* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Does an elaborate cool-ass dance with them, then throws them like a basketball individually into your hand* Drunk Repressed Farmer: Yo! Here! Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Spits gum onto the floor* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Chews another 15 double bubbles* Ivan the Turtle: yo yo yo *Wraps sweater around waist* Ivan the Turtle: *wraps another round neck* Drunk Repressed Farmer: Yo Drunk Repressed Farmer: Mah dawg Ivan the Turtle: *Puts on sexy blue jacket with 5 letters on it for no reason* Ivan the Turtle: YO YO YO Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO YO YO Drunk Repressed Farmer: UP TOPS BROTHA! Ivan the Turtle: *Highfives* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *The Teacher comes in* Ivan the Turtle: NOW LETS GO HAVE SOME (family friendly) FUN YO! Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Gives us both lunch detentions* Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO! Drunk Repressed Farmer: SHIT DAWG! Ivan the Turtle: NOT COOL BRUH! Drunk Repressed Farmer: I GOTTA FOURTH DETENTION TODAY! Drunk Repressed Farmer: NOT COOL! Ivan the Turtle: i mean, yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO YO YO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Dabs* Ivan the Turtle: *RKO's someone* Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER? Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO BROTHA, THAT VINE FUNNY! Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ivan the Turtle: DAMN DANIEL Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO YO YO YOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Takes the principal's water bottle* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Does a flip with it* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Dabs* Drunk Repressed Farmer: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ivan the Turtle: Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: // Just a minute Drunk Repressed Farmer: // Geting Pugler to be principal Your chat with Drunk Repressed Farmer is now a multi-user chat. Big Smoke entered chat. Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: *is Principal Phuck* Ivan the Turtle: MY NIGERIAN BRUDA Big Smoke: NO FUCKING YELLING IN THE HALLWAY Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO Drunk Repressed Farmer: Come on dawg! Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WASSUPMYDAWG Drunk Repressed Farmer: I just did a water bottle flip with your water bottle Ivan the Turtle: NOT KOOL MR PRINCIPAL MAN Big Smoke: FUK BROOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Spits gum on the principal* Ivan the Turtle: *flips 5 waterbottles at some time* Big Smoke: WE GON SMOKE THAT BITCH Ivan the Turtle: *All land on cap* Big Smoke: WHAT THE FUCK Big Smoke: YOU Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: ARE Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Gets another glob of gum* Big Smoke: WHAT THE Ivan the Turtle: AWESOME? Big Smoke: STOP Ivan the Turtle: I KNOW Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Chews* Big Smoke: YOU'RE FIRED Drunk Repressed Farmer: EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP Drunk Repressed Farmer: I'M YOUR STUDENT DAWG. Drunk Repressed Farmer: IN DA JUNIOR HIGH Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Spits gum on the principal* Big Smoke: DETENTIN Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Holds hand infront of the principal's face* Big Smoke: DETENTION Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Slaps his neck* Drunk Repressed Farmer: NEHH! Big Smoke: *takes out gun* Big Smoke: *points at his studen* Big Smoke: NIGGER Drunk Repressed Farmer: I'M WHITE BOI Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Blows a massive bubble gum bubble* Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP CRACKER Big Smoke: *shoots bubble* Drunk Repressed Farmer: WOAH! Big Smoke: BITCH Drunk Repressed Farmer: MY BROTHA DOES THAT WITH A BEE BEE GUN! Big Smoke: DETENTION Big Smoke: FUCKING Big Smoke: DETENTION Big Smoke: DE Big Smoke: TEN Big Smoke: TION Big Smoke: DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT? Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: DE T E N T E O N Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: DETENTION Big Smoke: CUNT Ivan the Turtle: PRINCIPLEMAN Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP Ivan the Turtle: NO KO0L Big Smoke: YOURE IN DETENTION TOO Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ivan the Turtle: TAHTS NOT KOOL Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP Drunk Repressed Farmer: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: I'M CALLING YOUR MOM Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: GARGHHHHHHHHHHHJAHGJDHGHAJGHJDHGAJAHJDHGJDHGDJGHDJGHDGJDHGJDHGHDHGDJHGDJGHDJGHDJGJDGHDJGHDJGDHJGHDJGDGJDHGHDJGDJGHDJGDJHGDHJGHDJGDHGDHJGJDGDJHGDHGDHJGD Ivan the Turtle: DONT DO IT YO Ivan the Turtle: PLZ Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ivan the Turtle: PLZ Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Screams like a retard thinking I am a class clown* Drunk Repressed Farmer: KALFLASKFLALFKDKAFLKFLDAFKKLAFDE Drunk Repressed Farmer: HURHURHURHURHURDURDURDURDURDURDURDURDUR Big Smoke: STOP Big Smoke: CUNT Big Smoke: *calls retard police* Ivan the Turtle: ALLAH AKBAR YO Drunk Repressed Farmer: STOP CUNT Big Smoke: BITCH Ivan the Turtle: IM A TROUBLED TEEN Big Smoke: UNDER ARREST Drunk Repressed Farmer: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH Big Smoke: UNDER TENTENTION Drunk Repressed Farmer: BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Ivan the Turtle: *Reaches into locker* Big Smoke: NIGGERS! *shoots at ivan* Ivan the Turtle: *Pulls out machine gun* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Pulls out gun at the principal* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Squirts* Ivan the Turtle: *Fires at principal* YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: WATER GUN YOOO! Ivan the Turtle: YO Big Smoke: *keeps shooting at ivan and drunk* Ivan the Turtle: OYOY Ivan the Turtle: OY Drunk Repressed Farmer: LOOSEN UP! Ivan the Turtle: YY Ivan the Turtle: YOY Ivan the Turtle: YOY Ivan the Turtle: YOY Ivan the Turtle: YO Ivan the Turtle: YO Ivan the Turtle: YOYOYO Ivan the Turtle: YOOY Big Smoke: FUCK YYEEWW Big Smoke: MURICA Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *The guns from ivan and i are water guns* Big Smoke: FOKIN REDNEK Big Smoke: MURICAAA Ivan the Turtle: *goes yo at every shot Big Smoke: *mine isnt* Ivan the Turtle: yo yo yoy oy yoy oyoyoyooyyoy oyo yo yo y Drunk Repressed Farmer: // You know you are screaming at like 11 year olds smoke? Big Smoke: //ye Ivan the Turtle: DIE NIGERIAN SCUM Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP Big Smoke: YOURE 11 Big Smoke: CUNT Big Smoke: STOP Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Runs out of principals office* Big Smoke: SHUT UP Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: WHERE THE FUCK Drunk Repressed Farmer: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Big Smoke: *pulls out real gun* Drunk Repressed Farmer: MAKE ER RUN FOR IT! Big Smoke: *shoots at drunk* Big Smoke: BITCH Big Smoke: STOP Big Smoke: YOU POTATO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *you miss* Ivan the Turtle: I DID IY BECAUSE IM EDGY AS FUCK Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Runs to my locker* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *I am almost as school exit* Big Smoke: *one last bullet hits his shoe* Big Smoke: BITCH Drunk Repressed Farmer: bu Drunk Repressed Farmer: bu Drunk Repressed Farmer: MAH SHOE Drunk Repressed Farmer: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Big Smoke: NIGGA Drunk Repressed Farmer: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Cries* Big Smoke: YOUR TIM'S ARE MINE Ivan the Turtle: *takes out knife* Ivan the Turtle: Stabs principal in balls* Big Smoke: *pulls him by the hair* Big Smoke: FUCK Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOO Big Smoke: OH MY GOD Ivan the Turtle: DIE IN HELL Big Smoke: *big smoke moan* Ivan the Turtle: IM EDGY AF Big Smoke: AAAAAAAAAAAAH Big Smoke: *takes his gun and shoots ivan in the gut* Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ivan the Turtle: ALLAHU ACKBAR Ivan the Turtle: *Pulls open abc vest* Big Smoke: WHAT THE FUCK Big Smoke: FUCK Ivan the Turtle: *Grenade coat* Big Smoke: *runs away* Big Smoke: *pulls drunk away with him* Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: FUCK Ivan the Turtle: I DIE FOR ISIS Big Smoke: *gets out of the school* Ivan the Turtle: LIKE THE EDGY PRETEEN I AM Ivan the Turtle: 8is repressed homosexual* Big Smoke: HEY Big Smoke: STOP Ivan the Turtle: *starts slappin ass in detention* Big Smoke: I KNOW YOURE GAY Big Smoke: PLEASE Big Smoke: THE SCHOOL ACCEPTS EVERYONE Ivan the Turtle: I DIE FOR HOMOSEXUALS EVERYWHERE Big Smoke: fuck Ivan the Turtle: Oh ok Big Smoke: *rushes back in the school* Ivan the Turtle: thats cool Big Smoke: oh ye Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Suddenly the police bursts in* Ivan the Turtle: Puts down gun* Big Smoke: awesome Big Smoke: OFFICER Ivan the Turtle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Big Smoke: HE STABBED MY FUCKING BALLS Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Is Officer Austin's cousin* Ivan the Turtle: *Pulls pin* Drunk Repressed Farmer: PUT YOUR HANDS UP Drunk Repressed Farmer: PRINCIPAL Ivan the Turtle: ALLAHU AKBAR Ivan the Turtle: *Runs at caops* Drunk Repressed Farmer: STOP ATTACKIN THE ELEVEN YEAR OLD Ivan the Turtle: *starts pulling all the pins* Drunk Repressed Farmer: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YA NIGGA Big Smoke: HE STABBED MY BALLS Drunk Repressed Farmer: NO HE DIDNT Big Smoke: HES A TERRORIST Big Smoke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Big Smoke: *runs away* Ivan the Turtle: *Jumnps on principal Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Shoots Big Smoke in the legs* Ivan the Turtle: *tackles* Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Two times* Big Smoke: NO Big Smoke: NO Big Smoke: PLEASE Big Smoke: IVAN PLEASE Ivan the Turtle: *Blows up* Drunk Repressed Farmer: HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM Big Smoke: I LOVE GAYS Drunk Repressed Farmer: FAT ASS NIGGER FUCK Big Smoke: *dies* Big Smoke left chat. Ivan the Turtle: *slow mo* I LOVE SNICKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Shoots the 11 year old* Drunk Repressed Farmer: FUCKER End Notes Your now officially scared for life and HIV positive congrats. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!