Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10660524.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      13_Reasons_Why_(TV), Thirteen_Reasons_Why_-_Jay_Asher
  Relationship:
      Justin_Foley/Alex_Standall
  Character:
      Justin_Foley, Alex_Standall, Hannah_Baker_(mentioned)
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe, Hannah_Never_Died, Marijuana, Hurt!Alex, unhealthy
      family_dynamics, Smut, Porn_With_Plot, top!Justin, bottom!Alex, sir,
      Handcuffs, I_think_some_of_this_is_blasphemy?
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-04-18 Completed: 2017-04-20 Chapters: 2/2 Words: 9829
****** Warm ******
by DarkEyedDreamer
Summary
     Hannah never killed herself, and high school went on the way it
     usually did. Alex and Justin get paired to do a project, to neither
     of their great joys. Alex's stomach starts acting up because he
     hasn't been sleeping well, and luckily Justin knows just how to fix
     it.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
"Come on Justin, we have to work on this project." Alex said for the umpteenth
time, sounding exhausted while watching the basketball-star going on his third
plate of food.
How lucky of him to get a jock to work on an English project with. Especially a
jock who made Hannah's skin crawl at the mention of. Because that didn't make
things awkward. "hey freshman year you took a picture of my friends panties and
let your friend Bryce send it around the school, but lets work on this project
together civilly because it's important to my dad to get an A this semester."
Yeah, right. Because he was was sure that would go over well.
He hadn't brought it up at all, in fact. Hannah hadn't seemed happy about the
arrangement, but she understood that he needed to get his shit done. And
anyway, it was like two years ago and she was with Clay now so it didn't even
feel like it mattered so much anymore. Currently he was supposed to hate Justin
more on principle than actual drama.
"Dude we have until Friday, we'll get it done." The older boy assured, although
Alex didn't seem very convinced because this was Justin's third plate of pasta
and the blond didn't even know how someone could be that hungry.
"It's like eight pages and we don't even know what we're doing it on yet." He
countered, a worried frown already appearing on his face.
"Do you want me to just take the plate to your room?" The older boy offered,
eyebrow raising.
Alex shook his head. "My dad doesn't like us eating upstairs. He thinks we'll
make a mess or something." He replied, lowering his eyes as if embarrassed.
His dad was a cop. Before that he was in the military, stationed somewhere that
he couldn't tell any of them about because troops weren't even supposed to be
there. He'd seen about as much as the world could throw at him, and Alex
guessed that was why he was the way he was. Hard-headed and much too stubborn
to lose any sort of fight that was thrown at him. Even the ones that were
stupid and petty. Theoretically Alex was pretty sure that someone so strict
would raise up strong kids, so he could only imagine how disappointed his dad
was in him. Because Alex did he best to put up that same fight. He really did.
He turned a defiant face to the world. Acted like he didn't care. But sometimes
it was just too hard. Sometimes he felt like he was just too tired to fight.
Sometimes he didn't want to fight at all. His dad didn't ever see that as an
option. Thought he made a weak son. Directly defying him on top of that wasn't
something Alex thought would go over well.
"You always do everything your daddy tells you?" Justin asked with a cocky
smirk that Alex immediately wanted to wipe off his face.
"Fuck you Foley. I just-" He hesitated, cheeks flushing red. "It's easier not
to fight with him is all." He admitted in a softer tone. He regretted saying it
immediately afterwards. That was a confession he didn't think would go over
well.
Justin wasn't wrong, of course. Alex always did what his dad wanted. Hell, he
was prone to do what almost anyone wanted, if it meant he didn't have to
confront anyone about anything important. But with his dad it was so much
worse. He was afraid of messing things up. Afraid of his dad in general. He
took a deep breath, trying to will away the thoughts of being stupidly afraid
of his father for most of his life. It didn't make sense. Having a cop for a
dad usually made kids feel unstoppable, according to the movies and all the
other cops kids he'd met over the years. For Alex, it just made him look over
his shoulder more often. Even when he didn't have things to hide.
A flicker of emotion crossed Justin's face, an emotion that he couldn't quite
place but was certain he'd seen before. Soft eyes and one side of his mouth
pulled back in more of a grimace than a smile. For that single moment it felt
like he knew what Alex was talking about. Alex didn't know much about Justin's
home life, but he sincerely hoped that he didn't. Hoped that no one did, even
though he knew that was statistically improbable. But then it was gone, and
Justin's usual no-fucks-given attitude seemed to settle back into place.
He didn't say anything about it, but when it finished his plate he opted to put
it in the sink instead of getting another bowl, and Alex was pretty happy with
that.
-
"Does your dad know I'm staying over?" Justin asked three pages into their
essay. Alex glanced up from typing and shrugged his shoulders lazily.
"I mean, him and my mom aren't going to be back from vacation for another week,
so it's not like he's going to kick you out." He replied, words tripping out of
his tongue warily.
The flicker of a smile appeared on Justin's face. "So you don't always do what
he says." He said, and it sounded like a compliment. Alex wasn't quite sure why
it was supposed to be a compliment.
Alex shrugged again, suddenly feeling like he was on trial of some sort. Like
he was trying to impress someone but he wasn't quite sure how, or why. "What
teenager does?" He asked rather than giving a straight-forward answer.
"Lame ones." Justin replied without so much as a second thought.
"Glad I have your approval then." Alex replied sarcastically, eyes falling back
to the middle of the sentence he'd been writing. He couldn't remember what he'd
been trying so say, so he erased it with the decision to start that part over.
"Where exactly do you want me to sleep? I mean, I could take the couch. It
doesn't matter to me." The brunet asked, not seeming to realize that Alex was
intent of working. Alex paused his typing for the second time, because hadn't
actually thought about that.
"You could probably take the bed. I don't sleep much anyway." Alex confessed
without looking up. He could suddenly feel Justin's eyes on him, but he
pointedly ignored it.
"I have something that could help with that." He offered vaguely, and when Alex
looked over he saw the older boys eyebrow raised in question.
He almost looked like he was pitying the blond, and honestly that felt more
awkward than arguing in his kitchen had. Anger was something he could deal
with. Something he'd dealt with all his life. But pity? His dad told him never
to accept anything given to you out of pity. It made you weak. And in his dad's
mind, weak was the worst thing you could possibly be at any given moment.
Still, the thought of a good night sleep was interesting enough to at least
hear the offer. He hadn't slept through the night in weeks, and he was starting
to think it was making his stomach problem worse. There'd been a dull ache
there for days now, one that no amount of pain killers seemed able to end. A
phone call with his doctor had pretty much done nothing to help, and he had
been beginning to think this was going to be his new reality.
"What is it?" He asked after a moment of hesitation, trying to peer over
Justin's shoulder when he opened up his back pack and began digging around for
it. "If it's melatonin pills, they don't work on me."
"It's not melatonin pills. But if that shit doesn't work for you then you
should probably see a doctor." Justin replied, and Alex resisted making a joke
about being surprised he knew what that was. Being rude to someone offering him
a decent night of sleep was dangerous, and he wasn't finding it worth the risk.
"I've been to a dozen doctors." Alex admitted. "What is it?"
When the older boys hand came back from his bag, he was holding a baggie of
weed and a lighter. "It's sativa, but it's got an indica edge to the last half
so it'll help get you to sleep."
The names Alex wasn't actually sure about. He'd heard there were different
strains, but never actually knew what the names meant or how they were
different. He crinkled his nose anyway, remembering back to the time his
brother had been caught with some in his jeans pocket and his father had
completely freaked out. Not his dads normal freak outs about C's and not
addressing him as sir, either. Like screaming and shouting and threats. When
his brother came downstairs with a bruise below his eye, no one had mentioned
it, but it wasn't hard to picture where it came from, and Alex found himself
having nightmares for days over what bruises they probably hadn't been able to
see. He admittedly didn't see any other bruises, and his brother never said
that his dad hit him, but it felt unalike a coincidence. It was the most angry
he'd ever actually seen his dad, and the fact that it was once again in the
house actually made his stomach go from a vague ache to a stabbing pain just at
the thought of his dad finding out.
He winced, holding his arm over it as if it was going to help. It never did,
but a look of worry crossed over Justin's face, and he set down the contents of
his hand to the nightstand beside the bed in order to face him better. The
shifting of weight was minuscule, but just enough to make his stomach protest
even further, to the point where Alex wasn't sure he was even breathing. He
must have been because his eyes weren't growing fuzzy, but he wasn't sure how.
"Whoa man, you okay?"
Grinding down on his teeth, Alex nodded. "Stomach thing. Just hurts sometimes."
Sometimes meaning when he was stressed out, and apparently sleep deprived. A
combination wasn't making for good times.
"You want some water or something?"
Alex shook his head, taking a few deep breaths. "Can you just- like put that
away." He asked, nodding towards the table and closing his eyes as he tried to
calm down.
It wasn't doing any good. Even when he reminded himself that his dad wasn't
home, wouldn't be home for a while, he didn't feel any better. He wasn't even
all that stressed out, logically he knew he had no reason to be afraid. His dad
wasn't going to cut his vacation short for any reason, so he would have no
reason to just show up. The pain continued anyway, and Alex blamed the fact he
was so sleep deprived. Like his body's way of telling him to go to fucking bed.
He didn't know how his body expected him to sleep under these conditions
though. Maybe it just wanted him to be in some much pain that be passed out.
He almost forgot Justin was there before the next time he spoke. "Do you have
some kind of medicine you take for it?"
Alex shook his head again, tears prickling at his eyes. He refused to let them
fall. He was not that pathetic. "Doctors... don't know... what it is." He
gritted out, pained breaths in between. They all told him they couldn't
prescribe him with anything unless they had a diagnosis, and average pain
killers didn't do shit for him.
His laptop was suddenly not on his lap, and for a second he thought he'd
dropped it, but the soft sound of it being sat on the table beside his bed
meant Justin probably moved it. Alex curled up, knees pressing to his chest. It
didn't hurt so bad like that, but it still hurt pretty fucking bad. If he
thought it would do him any good, he'd have called his doctor.
Justin leaned towards the nightstand again. Alex couldn't actually see it, but
he felt the way the bed moved this time. "You know people smoke for chronic
pain all the time. You can't feel shit when you're high."
Alex opened his eyes and saw Justin had also produced a brightly-colored blue
and purple pipe from somewhere, and was holding it in his hand not entirely
unlike in Disney movies when the villain was offering some sort of savior. He
bit his cheek, but had to stop when he realized he was biting down so hard that
it was risking bleeding. He knew somewhere in his head that his dad would kill
him. That somehow he would find out. Hell, maybe he paid Justin to make an
offer like this just to test him. But God, the fucking pain was too much. He
just wanted to be able to sleep and get the pain to go away for a while.
He nodded his head, but he couldn't work up the effort to speak, the pain in
his stomach making the thought of talking too much work. Thankfully, it must
have been a good enough attempt at consent because Justin began pulling some
out of the bag, grinding it between his fingers into the pipe.
"Pipes aren't the best way to get high- Bryce has this bubbler that's pretty
awesome, but this will work. Especially since your new." Justin said, and Alex
nodded as if he understood what that meant.
Justin kept talking though, with a soft voice like he was trying to comfort the
younger boy with it. "You're supposed to grind it too, if you want to get the
best effects. I may do that with the second bowl but for now the goal is to
make you stop being all curled up like that."
"S-second?" Alex questioned, trying not to betray the look of disbelief. Just
the breath it took to press out that word was enough to make him whimper in
pain though, so he didn't keep trying.
Justin nodded, seemed to pretend not to notice. "The first one will probably
just take the edge off, since you're in a lot of pain and we're splitting it.
Second one will make you feel good."
And Alex couldn't argue with that. He couldn't remember the last time he felt
good. Probably at Monet's, with Hannah and Jess. He felt pretty good during
those times. But lately their visits had been less frequent. Hannah had Clay,
and Jess was obsessed with the cheer-leading thing. So lately he'd been pretty
alone. His stomach stabbed another round of pain at that thought, and so Alex
guessed he was stressed about it. Being left alone was pretty scary.
"'S alright." Justin said, voice soothing. "You think you can do this
yourself?" He asked, raising an eyebrow again.
Alex wasn't actually sure how to do 'it' at all, but he reached out a hand for
it anyway, only to notice how badly he was shaking. Jesus, he must look fucking
pathetic like this. Justin seemed to think for a second before he shook his
head. For a horrifying second, Alex thought he was changing his mind about
smoking in general. He wasn't sure why that thought was so scary, probably
because he was trusting that he was going to feel better soon and all of a
sudden he was going to be left to wait it out.
"Open your mouth." Justin commanded, and Alex did so without so much as a
second thought. He just wanted the pain to go away by this point. "Close your
mouth when the smokes gone and hold it."
He wanted to ask what he meant, but was pretty sure any noise he made by this
point would be embarrassing. He remembered the last time it got this bad,
sometime last year when he woke up in such screaming pain that he cried for an
hour until his dad noticed the sounds of the sobbing and came to see if he was
okay (Truthfully, Alex was pretty sure he'd been heard long before that, but
his dad had been waiting to see if he'd get over it or not). They had to go to
the hospital for that one, but Alex couldn't drive like this and he wasn't sure
Justin even knew how. The hospital hadn't been able to do much anyway except
pump him full of some sleeping cocktail of drugs.
Alex watched Justin light it and take a hit, watched his chest expand with the
more he breathed in. He told himself he was watching so he would know how and
wouldn't make a fool out of himself. He wasn't going to admit he kind of liked
watching Justin's chest, or the way his lips looked wrapped around the pipe.
Because that would be weird, and totally not okay. He blamed that on the sleep
deprivation.
While Alex was focused on not focusing, Justin got too close. Like, close
enough so that their lips would have been an inch away if Alex's mouth hadn't
still been open. He tensed up instinctively, but Justin once again pretended
not to notice, breathing out a thick layer of smoke into his mouth. He closed
his mouth, like Justin told him, and tried to hold it in for as long as he
could before he starting coughing, choking for breath and letting out an
unmanly squeak of pain at the way that made his stomach feel like he'd been
impaled.
"'S okay," Justin repeated, that soft voice coming back. Alex found himself
liking it. "Few more times and it won't hurt like that. Won't hurt at all."
That promise was enough. A few more stabs of pain had to be worth it not
hurting in a few minutes. Even if he drove to the hospital by some miracle, he
would be in pain for another hour at least. So he sucked it up, like his dad
used to tell him when the things first started happening. (He didn't think his
dad would have been proud of this particular method, though).
Justin was right. After a few more times (and a few more coughs that got less
and less) the pain slowly subsided, leaving behind a fuzzy feeling in its
place. After the first bowl Alex could put his legs back down, the pain growing
more distant with each hit. The teenager pretended not to notice that Justin's
lips seemed to get closer each time they did it. After all, they were getting
high. Maybe he was just losing his balance a little more each time. Alex knew
he was. For a few moments, he'd even considered leaning forward himself. He
wasn't high enough for that, but thinking about it made for good distraction.
He watched Justin grind the second one up with a little grinder he'd placed in
the front pocket of his bag. He wanted to ask why he was so prepared for this,
but it didn't feel like it mattered really. Wasn't it on everyone's bucket list
to do something bad right under a cops nose? With his kid must be even better.
Maybe he just always carried it.
"This one will actually show what kind of stoner you are." Justin said with a
hint of a laugh in his tone. "Now that the pain isn't so bad, this can actually
be fun."
"Aren't you afraid of my dad? I have kids that won't even come over because of
him, and we're smoking weed in my bedroom." Alex commented with a small snort.
He was smiling.
Justin shrugged his shoulders, putting the ground up stuff into the pipe. Alex
wasn't sure how that was supposed to help how high someone got, but he was
pretty sure the older boy knew more than he did about this kind of thing and
didn't want to question him.
"You said he wasn't going to be home for a few days. I don't see any point in
being scared of something that isn't there."
Alex wished he were more like that. He wished he weren't so nervous about the
idea of his dad being around every corner even when it wasn't possible. It kept
him from doing half the things he wanted to, and gave him so much stress that
he fucked up his stomach.
He nodded his head, not wanting to talk him out of smoking now. He wanted to
get to the feel good part. Especially since he said it was supposed to make him
tired. Tired was something he could do. He could probably sleep for a week if
he were allowed to. But he would settle for one night of uninterrupted sleep.
It would do him some good, and if he got caught he was already in trouble
enough for smoking it once, so this second bowl couldn't put him in any extra
trouble anyway.
"Did you see how I was doing it? You put your thumb here and breathe in. Don't
let go until you're done and just keep breathing."
"What's the point of it then?" He asked dumbly, placing his lips to the pipe
like he'd not been staring at Justin doing. The older boy lit it for him, and
he winced at how close the flame came to his face. Felt like it would burn his
eyebrows.
"Clears the chamber. Don't ask too many questions until you're actually high."
Justin replied without hesitation.
Alex took a deep breath, resisted coughing as much as he could. He was pretty
sure the cool kids didn't cough, and for some reason he wanted Justin to think
he's cool. Maybe it was a little late for that, since he just showed him how
idiotic he looked curled up in pain and actually getting to the point where he
was whimpering from it. He wasn't sure he could come back from that, but Justin
wasn't teasing him yet so he figured it wasn't that bad. The question remained
why he cared in the first place. When he let out his breath Justin seemed
impressed, and Alex had to fight against the swelling of pride in his chest.
-
"Come on, I wanna show you something." Alex whined softly, already at the
doorway and waiting for his much slower friend. Friend for the night, at least.
"You need to sit down, Alex. You're high." Justin snorted, but out of what had
to be the human curiosity he stood up to follow him anyway. Alex noticed he
swayed a little when he stood up, but not nearly as much as the blond himself
had.
Alex didn't need to be clear-headed right now, because he knew the older boy
was definitely better off than him. Only one of them really needed to be in
control of their thoughts, and Justin must have knew that when he'd agreed to
smoke with someone who had never done it before. He knew that he'd be kept
relatively safe when he was like this, so he did exactly what he felt like
doing, aware in the back of his mind that Justin would stop him if he went too
far. Hopefully, at least. They didn't know each other very well, and from what
Alex did know about the jock he didn't exactly seem too responsible. But he was
high, so he didn't think about things like that. He wandered into the next
room, pushing the door open without hesitating like he usually did. It felt
nice to be confident for a while.
"Your parent's room? That's what you wanted to show me?" Justin asked with a
laugh. "Man the sativa wasn't supposed to be that strong. Maybe we should watch
some cartoons for a while and let you chill out."
"No, no." The blond said dismissively, saying the word twice because he liked
the way it felt on his lips. He moved towards the bed and pulling out the box
underneath it, showing off his fathers uniform. He wasn't sure why it was kept
there, but had been placed in the same spot each night for as long as Alex
could remember. Maybe it was some military thing.
He laughed as he put on his father's hat, feeling oddly like he did when he was
a little kid. He didn't know why he suddenly felt like playing cop, something
he hadn't done since he was six, but he assumed it was heavily because of the
drugs in his system. The same reason he was smiling so big about nothing at all
when he couldn't remember the last time he smiled beforehand. He knew that he
was supposed to hate Justin because of the whole Hannah thing, but right now he
was feeling like that was a little difficult. He couldn't hate anything right
now. Everything felt good right now; and when Justin smiled at him like he'd
done something funny, Alex felt warm. It was hard to be angry at someone who
made you feel warm.
He could hear Justin laughing, and so he knew he could see him from where he
stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. When he was sober, he would
have felt unnerved by it. Blocking the only exit. Now, he didn't have the
ability to feel unnerved. He put the handcuffs in his pocket, half way so he
could see them still and made it look more like a game. He liked feeling like a
little kid sometimes. He didn't get to do that much anymore.
Justin stopped laughing when he picked up the gun.
"Whoa there man, slow down." He said, taking a few slow steps into the room.
Alex didn't stop smiling, unaware of the tension that had suddenly grown in the
room. Tension had left his body after the first bowl.
"How do I look?" He asked, and it was weird now that the hat actually fit him.
Stopped feeling like playing pretend and started feeling like some weird role-
play. So he knocked the hat off with the barrel of the gun, watching the way
Justin winced but not actually registering why.
"Is that thing loaded?" Justin asked hesitantly, and suddenly he was close.
Really close. Alex stumbled a step backwards, leg hitting the edge of the bed.
"Yeah. What's the point of a gun if it's not loaded?" He asked, question coming
off less edgy than he usually was. He mimicked the sound of a gun going off and
laughed softly. The sound felt heavy in his mouth like the barrel of a gun.
Something inside the brunet seemed to switch for a second, and the worried look
became something hard. "Alex you're stoned, give me the gun." Justin said,
voice coming out too sharp.
The laughter died away then, and Alex blinked in surprise. He didn't know when
the older boys tone of voice became so harsh. Obediently, he placed the gun in
Justin's hand, letting the older boy set it back into place without complaint,
although he was so utterly confused as to what happened. Alex felt like a he
was a scolded child when the brunet grabbed him by the wrist. It wasn't hard,
more like he was trying to guide him, but it still felt like he was in trouble.
Oddly so, considering Justin hadn't seemed to care about him at all before
today. He allowed himself to be led from the room, feet dragging lazily on the
carpet but going willingly. The more he dragged his feet the more sound it
made, so he dragged them a lot.
"I'm sorry." He said, although he wasn't sure what he was sorry for. He just
knew he didn't want Justin to be mad.
"It's alright man. You just scared me was all." Justin said back, and his voice
didn't sound sharp anymore so Alex let himself relax again. His body buzzed
when he released the tension in his shoulders.
The realization hit him some moments too late. "I wasn't going to shoot
myself." He declared a little loudly, no longer moving. Rather than dragging
him, Justin stopped walking too.
"I didn't say you were." He replied, and that was the truth but it didn't sound
right.
"You thought I was going to. But I wasn't." Alex insisted. "Killing yourself
isn't what high people think about."
Justin winced. "Alex I didn't think you were going to kill yourself. You're
shaking, I didn't want that thing to accidentally go off."
"Because you would get in trouble?" Alex asked, not putting up a fight when
Justin began moving again.
"No, because you would be dead." Justin replied harshly, opening his bedroom
door. Alex nearly asked how he knew which room it was, and felt glad he didn't
when he remembered where they'd been a few minutes ago.
The younger boy hesitated before he spoke, stumbling toward the bed. "And you
would care?" He asked, almost timidly.
Justin blinked a few times before he looked at him, but he didn't seem to find
what he was looking for. Or maybe he did, the blond wasn't quite sure. "Yeah
Alex, I would care." He assured.
Alex nodded, completely high and having no reason to disbelieve him. He wasn't
sober enough to think about the fact they barely knew each other, or the fact
that he was supposed to hate Justin because of what he did to Hannah. Or the
fact that none of the other kids on the basketball team were particularly kind
to him. Right now, Justin was pretty and kind and saying all the things that
Alex always wished someone would say to him. He fell onto the bed, and he
didn't know if he stumbled or if Justin pushed him. It didn't matter, really.
He wouldn't have minded if he did.
"I'll go sleep on the couch, alright?" Justin said, seeming to sense something
that Alex couldn't even fathom.
"No. Stay with me." Alex insisted.
"Dude that's-"
"You think I'm going to do something stupid. So stay with me and make sure I
don't." Alex challenged.
There was a few moments where things were silent. Alex waited in that baited-
breath kind of wonder. He was just sober enough to realize what he was saying,
hoping that the older boy meant it when he said he would care. Realizing this
was kind of stupid. But he was tired and high enough to blame it on the weed.
He just wanted to feel like someone really cared. Even if it was some
basketball-playing jock who wasn't particularly known for being nice and dumped
the girl that Alex was still kind-of in love with for no reason.
It seemed that Justin couldn't deny a challenge either, because he sighed and
tugged off his t-shirt warily, laying down on the bed beside him and pulling
some of the covers on. "Alright. But you have to go to sleep."
Alex barely heard him, dozing off already. The warm bed and warmer body beside
him was enough for his fuzzy memory to shut down, body and mind content for one
night. He hoped when he woke up, he would remember this.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Well this is in the world now. Enjoy it? To the person who seemed
     super excited about the idea of them talking about things I don't
     think this is what you meant, but the talking before the smut I
     thought was pretty in character. I may turn a third chapter more into
     aftermath, but even if I don't rest assured there will be more Alex/
     Justin fics to come. *cough cough: Pirate AU?* Sorry this is late by
     the way, I had some unexpected issues come up and also this got
     longer than I intended.
When Alex woke up it was to the sunlight in his face. Blearily, he realized
he'd slept the entire night and for a moment that content feeling rested inside
him. His stomach didn't hurt. Even that dull ache was gone, confirming Alex's
theory that when he was tired it just became worse. Which only made him want to
thank Justin- if he weren't such a dick every other day and a person he was
supposed to hate on principle. Even still, he was pretty sure he owed him a
begrudging thank-you. One that he for sure wouldn't tell Hannah about. On the
bright side, he didn't have to deal with that yet. He was pretty sure he still
had a few hours of good sleep left in him.
Except that it was Tuesday, and he was missing school. His heart jumped at the
realization, seeing on the alarm clock that it was nine-forty and he'd
officially missed the first two hours of the day. A flurry of swears escaped
his lips as he sat up, entirely prepared to be out of the door within five
minutes, although that meant he'd be eating cafeteria food today. Fuck, what if
they called his dad? How was he going to explain he overslept when for weeks
his dad had been subjected to the way Alex woke up every two hours? He was a
cop, he was going to know something was wrong. He was so dead. He couldn't
think of a lie that would get him out of this.
A hand curled around his wrist made him jump out off his thoughts as he
instinctively tried to yank it away. He wasn't high anymore, he didn't need to
get led around like a baby. The grip was too tight for him to shake off though,
effectively keeping him from getting out of bed. Exasperated and a little bit
angry, he glanced across the bed at Justin, whose blue eyes were still glazed-
over with the last remnants of sleep.
"Dude would you chill out?" He grumbled, voice about an octave lower when he
was tired. Honestly, one more thing about Justin that just should not be hot.
Alex would have felt bad if he wasn't so frazzled and annoyed. He'd almost
forgotten the other boy was there during the panic, he must have woke him up.
Hannah would be pleased to hear- not that Alex was planning on telling her.
About any of this. "We're late for school."
"We're not going to school." Justin replied.
Alex wanted to argue. Really, he did. Because school was important and he was
pretty sure he had a chemistry test today. Not to mention his dad would kill
him if he found out that he skipped. Even more so if he found out why. But the
way the older boys thumb was suddenly tracing circles into his wrist was
distracting in a soothing way that almost made him forget how much was on the
line. He wanted to think it was subconscious on Justin's part, except there was
something in his lazy smile made it seem like he knew exactly what he was
doing. Like he was an expert on making things not feel so bad. Or on keeping
people in bed. Alex chose to ignore that.
He didn't really want to go today, anyway. He wanted to relax. It was the first
time in forever that his stomach didn't hurt, and that was something worth
celebrating. Maybe with a few more hours of triumphant sleep. Besides, that
stubborn part of him still needed to prove he wasn't always like he was the
night before. Last night he was some needy little kid who was about twice the
amount of suicidal than the usual teen angst. He didn't need Justin to go
around telling everyone that story.
He didn't know if that was something he should be nervous about. Now that he
was clear-headed he realized that Justin had helped out like it was some sort
of second nature. Which wasn't exactly how he pictured anyone on the basketball
team. Especially not Justin, given all the gossip spread about him. Yet even
after all that he'd been put through the night before, he didn't seem to be in
a hurry to go. Last night he'd even assured the blond that he would care if he
died. Words that seemed like a lie in the daylight, but comforting ones
nonetheless. He may have even made a friend who wasn't a girl- excluding
whatever vague sort of friendship he'd formed with Clay on the sole basis that
he was dating Hannah. So in total, a lot was on the line for staying home too.
Giving in to the teenage temptation to rebel and be liked, he nodded his head,
laying back down on the bed.
"Alright." He agreed softly. Once the thrumming in his chest died down, sleep
still sounded pretty nice anyway. Justin's hand fell away from his wrist once
he seemed sure that Alex wasn't just trying to fake him out. Part of him was
tempted to fake him out just because the brunet was no longer expecting it, but
his bones felt heavy all of a sudden.
The older boy stifled a yawn, muttering an echoed, "Alright." under his breath.
Alex wondered if the reason Justin was always so mellow was because of the weed
or just an ability to turn off caring for a while. If the latter, he wished he
had it too.
"Hey, you're not going to tell anyone about yesterday. Right?" Alex asked,
because the knowledge that Justin Foley had some sort of dirt against him was
definitely going to keep him from sleeping. He was too honest last night, and
that was never a good thing by high school standards.
"You mean about how you like to dress in your dad's clothes when your stoned?"
Justin snickered without opening his eyes.
Alex's cheeks reddened, because no that definitely wasn't what he meant but way
to go to Justin to think about something like that. He sat back up, too fast.
Justin didn't follow, not seeming to think it important to move. "Shut up, you
know that's not what happened." He replied bitterly.
"So it was just you trying to be kinky?" Justin replied teasingly, that
signature smirk of his forming lazily on his lips. "Somehow I thought you would
be more into taking orders than giving them, Standall."
There went any idea of going back to sleep. Blushing was definitely a way of
getting the blood flowing, and he was just going to pretend he didn't hear that
last part. Not because it was true, because it didn't deserve an answer (and,
well, maybe because it was true according to the warm feeling in his stomach at
the statement). Alex contemplated how well it would go if he punched Justin
right now. Maybe in the shoulder would be alright, that weird thing sporty kids
did to each other. But they weren't that close, and he somehow knew even if the
basketball player didn't see it coming he was going end up with a black eye, so
he refrained.
"I- shut up." He replied, and yeah it wasn't the world's best comeback but
under the circumstances he couldn't really think of something clever.
"Is that an order?" Justin asked, this time opening his eyes to look at the
blond. Something was different about his eyes. Something challenging.
Alex was never able to turn down a challenge. Even if he wasn't entirely sure
what that challenge may be. So he tried to look as confident as possible when
he said, "Yeah. Shut up."
And then he was back on his back. For a moment, he thought Justin punched him,
only nothing hurt so that theory didn't make any sense. He bounced twice,
nearly falling right off the bed in the process. Panicked, he scrambled to grab
onto something, only nothing was there and for a moment he was sure he was
about to fall, except then he wasn't moving anymore because Justin's hands were
on either of his shoulders to keep him in place. Which also didn't make any
sense. Like he couldn't make up his mind or something.
"What are you-" Alex asked, but was almost immediately cut off by Justin.
"Uh uh, I'm in charge." He said with that fucking smirk again, and Alex wasn't
confused enough for that to not be hot.
He ignored it. Because there was no way this wasn't a fucking joke, and he
wasn't going to look like an idiot three times since Justin got here. He was
beginning to think there was a correlation between the two. "Get off me." He
snapped, trying his best to push the brunet away. Well, okay, maybe half an
effort.
Justin didn't seem very phased. He leaned down, which was the opposite way he
should have been moving, to whisper low into Alex's ear. "Is that really what
you want? Because I don't think it is." He said, emphasizing the point by
placing a kiss to the spot below his ear, resulting in a stuttered breath from
the boy below him.
Alex did his best to move away from the mouth pressed against his skin, more
out of self preservation than because he really wanted to. "Whatever game
you're playing I'm not falling for it, so cut it out Foley."
This time, Justin did move back. Just a little, enough so that the two could
meet eyes. He had a raised eyebrow, like there was something Alex was just
completely clueless about. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but then again
that was apparently why he was missing it. He didn't care. He wasn't about to
become the butt of another joke tossed around by the jocks. He tried his best
to hold a proper glare; but the position they were both in probably made it
look more ridiculous than anything else. The bit of defiance felt necessary.
"What if I'm not playing a game?"
"Then I think it's safe to say you lost your fucking mind."
Justin didn't seem to flinch at the accusation, and Alex wasn't sure if that
was off-putting or not. "Do you want me to leave?" He asked simply.
Alex's glare faltered, suddenly confused. That wasn't what he was expecting. He
didn't know exactly what he was expecting, but that sure wasn't it. Then again,
Justin seemed pretty full of surprises this morning, so maybe the correct
answer was that he should stop trying to expect things. Because it was
beginning to feel oddly like he was playing a chess game, only he was two moved
behind and he never learned how to play chess in the first place. Beginning to
get frustrated with how little sense he could make out of this, he tried to
give the boy above him another glare. Even he knew it was useless. For a few
moments, all was silent. Neither of them moved.
Justin seemed waiting for an answer, eyes staring down into Alex's own. The
blond was almost surprised to see how patient he was acting, like a cat waiting
for the mouse to get a little too far out of it's hiding place. Alex was never
good with eye contact, and it wasn't long before he glanced away, instead
focusing on the bedspread. It was plain, boring. But at least it was something
to look at other than Justin, who still wasn't wearing a fucking shirt and had
messed up hair and that fucking look in his eyes and God Alex was so fucked. He
bit his lip, not wanting to say anything that would most definitely incriminate
him. He didn't know what sort of game they were playing, and the rules seemed
too vague for him to make any decisions here.
"I'm not hearing a no." Justin stated at the action, and Alex didn't need to
look up to know he was smirking again, he sounded too smug.
"Maybe because you aren't going to."
And then they were kissing. Alex isn't sure who started it. He was pretty sure
it wasn't him, but he didn't feel Justin moving down. Hell, maybe it was him.
The idea was sure there. But it didn't matter who started it because they were
both kissing back. It wasn't soft, Alex didn't expect it to be. It wasn't hard
either. It was like some tightrope between the two where the blond was aware of
how Justin's lips weren't ghosting against skin but at the same time he seemed
to be taking his time. Like he had something he wanted to prove. Alex would be
damned if he knew what it was, but let himself get caught up in the feeling
nonetheless. If this was some sort of prank, he was willing to go along with
the ride.
His hands landed on the older boy's shoulders as a way to pull him closer,
timidly at first. Testing the waters. When he wasn't immediately shaken off he
kept them there, trying to make sure he didn't dig his nails into the smooth
skin beneath his finger tips, which was exceptionally harder when Justin's lips
trailed down to his jaw, and then precedingly lower on his neck.
"No marks." Alex said, voice coming out too breathy. He was pretty sure
anything that could ever be noticed in this house would be, and really he
didn't want to have that kind of talk with his dad- ever.
Justin glanced back up, nodded, and moved back for another kiss. His hands
slipped under Alex's shirt, pushing it up. The blond helped tugged the shirt
off, tossing it into some far away corner. Justin's eyes fell over the newly
exposed skin and Alex tried his best not to shy away. Justin's head dropped,
sucking a hickey into the spot below his ribs, and a soft whine escaped him.
Alex shuddered at the feeling of fingers dragging across his waistband. Raising
an eyebrow, Justin pulled back, resting comfortably between Alex's legs and
raising his hand to show him a pair of handcuffs dangling off his finger.
Alex's cheeks reddened slightly when he remembered he never actually put those
back. He almost apologized for the night before, but then there was a slow
smile forming on the basketball player's face.
"Sit up." He said, and his voice left little room to argue. Not that Alex was
arguing; although he made sure to at least appear reluctant even if the low-
tone made his cock jump.
Justin didn't seem to like the idea, because instead of ordering him, he spun
him around himself. Hands behind his back, he could suddenly feel the metal
pressing into his skin just shy of too tight, and fuck that was hot. Justin
placed a kiss between his shoulder blades, and Alex shuddered. When Justin came
back into view he was smirking again, only it wasn't infuriating like it was
before. He'd always liked the kind of person to take charge.
"Am I right about you liking to take orders?" He asked, although it didn't
sound too much like a question and given the current circumstances, Alex wasn't
surprised.
He didn't want to nod, the defiant part of him not quite wanting to let go even
though it was definitely hot to think about. "Guess you'll find out."
The way Justin's smirk turned just a little more wicked shouldn't have been as
hot as it was. Shouldn't have been hot at all, actually. The way Justin pulled
him in for a kiss by grabbing his hair was definitely hot no matter which way
you looked at it, though. His other hand rested at the small of his back,
pulling him closer so that he was sitting in his lap, legs on either side of
him. In the moment, it was easy not to feel shy when he could feel how hard
Justin was through his jeans. Hard to feel self conscious when he definitely
knew the older boy wanted him.
Testingly, he rolled his hips and he tasted the soft groan that passed the
older teens lips. Hands found their way to his hips, rubbing circles into his
hip bones. Before this, Alex would never have thought of that as particularly
sexy, but right now it was the hottest thing ever. He tested the feel of
tugging on the handcuffs, not hard enough to let it dig into his skin but
enough to know he wasn't getting out on his own. Somehow, that made things
hotter. He grinded down hard, earning a moan from the boy below him.
He sucked a hickey onto Justin's chest, at first only because he wanted to even
things out a little, although the way the older boys breathing staggered when
he did it made it worth while on it's own. When he pulled back he took the time
to admire the bruising reds and purples it left behind and suddenly understood
what made them so hot. Knowing it would be there long after the brunet left,
the way it looked on the smooth skin, everything.
When he was moved to his back, Justin kept a hand on his lower back so it
didn't dig into the cuffs. He kept it there until he put a pillow down in it's
place, and the act seemed too soft for the scenario. Like for a moment Alex was
something fragile that he was protecting. He didn't find that he minded it, the
same way he didn't mind it when Justin was suddenly sucking a hickey into his
hip bone with his teeth. He moaned at the feeling, the heels of his feet
probably digging into the brunet's lower back. Neither of them cared.
Their jeans came off fast, but not fast enough. It was probably almost comical
to watch the way he handlessly wiggled his hips to help, but Justin seemed more
interested in the way they moved than the fact that it didn't seem very sexy.
In this kind of atmosphere, it seemed like everything was. Especially the way
Justin kissed his thigh before returning to kiss his lips in that in-between
kind of way.
And then suddenly, everything stopped. The warmth of skin on his own lessened
to a radiant heat of being close to each other, and the kisses became non-
existent. Alex let out a groan of displeasure, but when nothing resumed he had
to blink open his eyes. For a few moments he just watched the way Justin was
watching him. He could see the way his pupils were blown from here. He almost
thought he'd done something wrong if it weren't for that look of un-hidden
want.
His breathing was too heavy when he spoke, and Alex watched the way his chest
rose and fell a little too rapidly. "Is this okay?" He asked, a little dazed.
Like it had just occurred to him to ask when they were both stripped down to
their boxers and hickeys littered their skin.
Alex wasn't quite sure if he was supposed to answer that. For a second, the
blond thought he was about to have a gay panic and punch him, but thankfully
that didn't seem to be the problem. Huffing out a breath he wrapped his legs
around the other's waist, pulling him closer and rolling his hips. There was a
groan of definite approval, but before Alex could call it a success one hand
fell to his hip, keeping him still. Alex wanted to groan for the opposite
reason.
"'M not kidding Alex. You gotta tell me it's alright." Justin insisted.
Alex actually did groan, this time with thinly veiled frustration. "If it
weren't okay do you really think I would have let it get this far?" He asked,
but when that didn't seem to be good enough an actual whine escaped him. "Yes.
It's alright."
He was rewarded when Justin grinded back down on him, mouth tracing kisses to
the spot below his ear as he traveled back down, and thank fuck they were
touching again. Only the hands on his hips remained tight to keep him from
moving. "Are you always this sarcastic when you're supposed to be taking
orders?" He asked lowly.
Alex almost replied that he usually didn't take these kinds of orders, but he
was pretty sure that was the wrong answer and the way Justin was nibbling on
his ear and stroking his hips really made him want this thing to speed up so he
stuttered out a, "N-No."
"Then beg."
A rose colored tint showed up on his cheeks, although it would be hard to
notice because of how flushed both boys already were. The defiant part of him
(as quiet as it was getting now, because it was definitely being overpowered by
the part of his brain who found this too hot) wanted to say no. But the defiant
part of him was easily ignored, pride be damned because all he wanted was more
and this was a good way of getting it.
"P-please fuck me." He said, and his voice sounded odd to his own ears.
Justin's stuttered breath seemed to think it a good odd, so he didn't think
about it too much.
"Fuck you what?"
"Sir." He answered automatically. He should have been surprised by how easily
the word slid off his tongue in a scenario like this, but he was already sure
he was beyond fucked up and he didn't want to think about it because Justin's
hand was stroking his dick, his boxers disappearing off him with little effort,
and whatever he said to get it there was worth it.
When the fingers were pressed to his lips, he knew it meant something that
should have been important. Something he probably should have been nervous
about. But he didn't. He didn't even think before he took them into his mouth,
and that must have been something hot, because Justin's eyes got dark. He made
a show out of it when he realized Justin was staring, swirling his tongue and
sucking. He must have done well, Justin's hand paused more than once for him to
catch a lost breath.
"You can just- I mean you don't have to-" Alex faltered for words, trying to
keep a blush from sparking on his skin. "Do the whole prep thing." He finished
shakily. His eyes darted away when he could see the words register.
The hand that had been previously on his cock moved, and Alex couldn't help the
whine he let out, only then it was holding his chin and making him look up at
Justin, who's eyebrows were raised in that knowing sort of way. "Just because
I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm going to hurt you." He said, voice making it
very clear that he wasn't planning on it.
Alex wanted to insist it was okay. He wasn't sure why other than sheer self-
loathing and an urge to make Justin happy. He was alright with pain. But he had
a feeling arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere anyway, and he also had a
feeling if he insisted he was alright with being hurt (not that he really liked
it per se) he would have to talk about that and he really didn't want to. So he
just nodded his head the best he could with the hand there, and tried not to
look relieved.
It didn't feel like he thought it would, honestly. More weird than anything at
first and after a few times, even good. His breathing stuttered when they
curled, and that with the way Justin was kissing at his chest- probably sucking
in another purpling mark- was actually fucking hot. He didn't miss the way
Justin's eyes fell to watch a few times. That was hot too.
"Jus-tin please." He whined after he knew it was no longer even necessary. He
half thought the brunet was drawing it out longer because he'd complained.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" Came his answer, voice wrecked and way too low to
even pretend he wasn't staring.
Alex nodded. "Yes sir." He replied, emphasizing the last word because he liked
the way it made Justin's eyes darken.
He had to pull away to grab the condom, and for a moment Alex felt too cold. He
ignored it, watching the way Justin lost his boxers in the same stride it took
to grab the condom- pre-lubed thankfully although Alex knew he wouldn't have
been the one complaining if it hadn't been. He almost made a joke about it
being there, but a horny teenage boy keeping a condom in their wallet seemed
more responsible than anything.
There was a stretch at first, but Justin seemed to have an art in being careful
when it came to Alex for some reason, because he went slow. Like he'd done this
kind of thing before, and Alex was pretty sure he had but he didn't think
asking about it now would be normal, so he ignored the stupid twinge of
jealousy in his chest. It wasn't like they were together. He smugly thought
back to the hickey, and how Justin would have to explain that to anyone else
within the next week. It only made him feel a little better.
It was probably a good thing he was handcuffed, because otherwise he could only
imagine the scratch marks that would have littered Justin's back if he'd had
his hands on the brunet's shoulders when he started rocking his hips. "Faster."
He said, and when it sounded too much like a command he added. "Please."
Please really was a magic word. Especially when it resulted in him moving at a
rate that made Alex tighten the way his legs were wrapped around Justin's
waist, moans escaping freely and mingling into the swears and moans of the
other teen. He knew he said something close to Justin's name, and his heart
picked up each time his own name fell off the brunet's lips. The moan that
escaped him when the older boy grabbed his cock, though, was definitely the
loudest.
It wasn't perfect, but Alex never needed perfect. The sounds Justin was making
alone was close enough. "Close, sir." He said breathily.
Justin grunted in acknowledgement, speeding up the way he moved his hips,
moving slightly and then suddenly there was a feeling overwhelming him and he
let out the loudest moan yet, a scramble of words that probably weren't even
real words. Justin seemed to know what he meant though, and he kept moving that
same fucking way until it was just too much. He came first, although Justin
didn't seem too far behind him, fingers unintentionally digging into his hips
hard enough to leave bruises. Alex found himself hoping they did.
It was over too soon, but then again he wasn't exactly opposed to a repeat
performance. It only took him a few moments to retrieve the keys from where
they were left behind, and Alex's shoulder definitely popped when he moved them
freely. His wrists were red, and he flushed at the idea of hiding them until
the marks disappeared. He didn't mind. It felt good to move, though.
Unshamefully he wrapped his arms around Justin's neck, kissing him before he
could wonder if it was still alright now. He was kissed back, and there was his
answer.
They laid down together, kicking away the blanket off the bed. Alex felt warm
without it anyway. He didn't bother to get dressed, although somewhere in the
back of his mind he knew that would be regrettable later. It didn't matter.
If this was the new way of getting him tired, he would definitely be getting
used to it.
End Notes
     Leave me a comment if you like it, and if you possibly want a second
     part? I was thinking of writing a smut scene (actually, originally
     this was supposed to be smut, but plot kind of got in the way). So
     let me know if you think this is any good. I think this ship is
     majorly under-appreciated.
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