Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1965819.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      My_Chemical_Romance
  Relationship:
      Frank_Iero/Gerard_Way, Frank/Gerard
  Character:
      Frank_Iero, Gerard_Way, Mikey_Way, Bob_Bryar, Ray_Toro
  Additional Tags:
      Frerard, Implied/Referenced_Suicide, Suicide_Attempt, Suicidal_Thoughts,
      Suicide, Self-Harm, Eating_Disorders, Violence, Underage_Sex, Slash
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-07-16 Updated: 2014-08-07 Chapters: 14/? Words: 12217
****** Truth Be Told ******
by nofrankinway
Summary
     EXCERPT FROM FIRST CHAPTER:
     Frank doesn't speak, he can't, and its easier that way. With all of
     his experiences and pain it's easier not to. These people no one else
     seems to see also tell him its easier not to talk they say it will
     protect him till his time. He believed them not know what else to
     depend on. These "friends" as he liked to call them, had been with
     him since what seemed like forever. They were dependable, and that's
     what Frank needed. Even now they were with him as he entered hell or
     in normal people terms, an asylum. Frank wasn't insane. Frank still
     had all of his marbles, he just didn't speak, hated to be touched,
     and had really dependable friends. They just didn't understand. Those
     people in the stupid white pajamas, faked everything! They even faked
     interest in Frank! And they said they cared. But one boy noticed him
     and that truly scared Frank. The kid with the black hair sitting
     alone seemed to watch Frank's every move, every breath. Frank was
     scared stiff.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** Day ! *****
Frank doesn't speak, he can't, and its easier that way. With all of his
experiences and pain it's easier not to. These people no one else seems to see
also tell him its easier not to talk they say it will protect him till his
time. He believed them not know what else to depend on. These "friends" as he
liked to call them, had been with him since what seemed like forever. They were
dependable, and that's what Frank needed. Even now they were with him as he
entered hell or in normal people terms, an asylum. Frank wasn't insane. Frank
still had all of his marbles, he just didn't speak, hated to be touched, and
had really dependable friends. They just didn't understand. Those people in the
stupid white pajamas, faked everything! They even faked interest in Frank! And
they said they cared. But one boy noticed him and that truly scared Frank. The
kid with the black hair sitting alone seemed to watch Frank's every move, every
breath. Frank was scared stiff.
The kid with the black hair didn't seem to be much older than Frank, at the
most he was 17 and Frank was only 16, from what he could recall. The kids black
hair was stingy and slightly greasy covering his face, as he hunched over a
book that he seemed to be writing in.
This kid was bigger than Frank, so was everything else in the world, and a bit
chubby but it fit him well. He had a smallish nose that pointed up a bit. Frank
began to think his nose was kinda cute but that thought quickly vanished as the
black haired kids eyes reached his own.
All Frank could feel was cold, his whole being began to shake as the cold went
straight to his bones. Frank had never felt something so empty and angry before
in his life. As he tried to break eye contact with this kid, he knew right then
that this kids eyes would haunt him for the rest of his small life. All the
fear that had just been placed in side Frank, made frank want to run. He almost
did but there was a small part of him that made him stay and need to fix this
empty kid.
Frank didn't know why, but he knew, then and there, that he had to. And that's
what his friends whispered into his ear as Frank turned to walk down the white
hallway.
***** Night Owl *****
Chapter Summary
     Nice friend you have there...
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The first night in the asylum Frank couldn't sleep. When he finally determined
that he began to pace and think. He didn't know how to feel or what to do about
the empty black haired kid but, he knew it was important to help him. Frank
didn't need help, he was here for the black haired kid. At least that's what he
kept telling himself as he went back and forth between the sickening white
walls.
As he did this he neglected to notice one of his friends sitting on his bed
watching him. His friend also known as Ray sat with a slightly amused smile
across is face watching as frank wore out the white tiled floor.
"You might want to stop pacing before you make a path on the ground" Ray said.
Frank almost hit the wall from being jolted out of his thoughts by his friend.
Ray laughed then said: "What were you thinking about? Oh, wait! Don't speak I
know already. You were think about Gerard." Ray again laughed
Frank furrowed his brow and thought, was that the kids name? the one with the
black hair? Gerard? Must be. Ray always knew everything.
"Yes, Gerard is the kid with black hair. I really think he would look good with
red hair but, thats a discussion for later. So Frank, I guess by now you think
you don't need help you are here for Gerard, and while that's partially true
you need help as well." Ray stated.
Frank's brow furrowed even more (if that was possible, god he was going to have
so many wrinkles when he was older). He didn't need help he thought. He was
perfectly fine just didn't like people much, guess that could be a problem?
"Stop frowning its not attractive! Anyway my point is Bob and the others don't
want you to die so you need help. Putting you in here kills two birds with one
stone! It's kinda perfect" Ray exclaimed.
Sure, Frank thought he had tried to slit his wrists open in the gas station
bathroom, but he was okay, just sad he hadn't succeeded. And with this thought
he look down upon his bandaged wrist and could feel the tears begin to well up
inside himself as realized what a failure he was in life.
"Aww, is wittle baby frankie going to cry?" Ray teased "Anyway forget it and
focus on Gerard, the suns almost up and you need to be prepared for your first
day in the loony bin!" And with that Ray got up and left.
Frank began to feel so exhausted, as his body and mind finally realized he
hadn't slept in days. Frank crawled over to the bed and quickly got under the
cold, rough, blankets and began to cry till he passed out with exhaustion.
Chapter End Notes
     hey glad you read this far! Should i keep writing? Sorry for such a
     short chapter.
***** Day 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Curious and curious
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Frank get up. Wake up young man it’s time to get up and head to the dining
area.” said a heavy old lady dressed in a white nurses outfit.
Frank groaned from exhaustion due to only getting about three hours of sleep.
As he began to get up he finally opened his eyes and instantly regretted it.
The light that met my eyes burned and I instantly closed my eyes feeling them
water. Slowly he got up and went down the long white hallway. After a bit of
wandering Frank came upon the dining hall. As he looked upon what was another
white room he realized that there were a lot of patients sitting around. In the
back of the dining hall he notice Gilbert? no no not right Gerard sitting in
the back corner alone messing with the book he had yesterday barely touching
his food.
After taking all the sights in Frank went over to the counter and grabbed a
bowl of cereal and shuffled over to the back of the hall and sat alone at a
table, in the corner opposite to Gerard. As he sat down he felt eyes upon him.
As he looked around his eyes finally fell upon the cold depths of Gerard's and
quickly looked away to play with the food in front of him. He didn't eat it
just wasn't what Frank did so he just sat and stirred the O’s in front of him
around in the milk.
Frank was so absorbed in playing with his food that he barely heard one of the
nurses announcing they had to go to group therapy now. Frank got up and
followed the group into a stuffy room with chairs forming a circle. Frank
quickly sat down in a chair not caring who he sat next to when the person he
assumed was the doctor walked in.
“Hello everyone!” She said to overjoyed for Frank’s liking, “I’m Dr. Friedman
for all those who don’t know! We have a new person who joined us yesterday and
his name is Frank! Please stand and tell us about yourself Frank!”
Oh shit. This is shit Frank thought. He slowly stood and smiled meekly.
“Come on Frank tell us about yourself” Dr. Friedman demanded.
Frank shook his head vigorously, didn't she know he didn't talk? Dr. Friedman
frowned as Frank sat down and refused to speak.
“Fine Frank, lets move on. Hmm, how about you Gerard please share about
anything.” said Friedman.
“Fuck you” muttered Gerard. All eyes went to the kid with black hair, while a
few of the other kids gasped at his response.
“Gerard we do not use such vulgar terms in here, do you understand?” Friedman
said astonished.
“Whatever I’m sick of you shitty sessions so I’m leaving!” Gerard then stood
abruptly and stormed out.
Frank was really starting to like this kid even if he was a bit afraid of him,
he sure did have balls. After this scene Dr. Friedman moved on to a kid named
Fred who discussed how the aliens came for him last night and how they helped
him realize he was fat and needed to lose weight. As people shared Frank
started to doze from his lack of sleep. Luckily right when his eyes were about
to shut completely Friedman released them to go to free time.
Frank followed every one out and headed straight for a big cushy chair to sit
in and observe everyone around him. Frank was surprised that none of his
friends had visited him yet it was already, from what Frank could see on the
clock, around 12. Not like he wanted to see Ray for a while after he made fun
of him but, it just wasn't like them.
As Frank was pondering this a nurse screamed at them to go eat lunch. Frank
went and grabbed a salad and sat and the same table he sat in this morning. He
looked over to his right and there was Gerard hunched over drawing, or
something, in his book. Only stopping to grab a bite of his food then
continuing in his book. Frank really was intrigued by him. Frank looked down at
his food, not wanting to catch a glimpse of the cold eyes Gerard had. Ugh,
Frank hated food so he just sat and stared off into the distance.
After a while another nurse announced that they could go outside if they so
desired. Frank felt it would be good to go take a nap in his room so after most
of the patients filed outside, Frank got up and grabbed his food to throw it
out. As he turned to go he was hit with what felt like a wall. From this impact
Frank landed on the ground, his salad everywhere and a book open before him.
Upon looking at the book he noticed a picture of a boy on it before it was
snatched away and he was being lifted up by his shirt.
“Listen here you little punk” growled Gerard, “don’t ever, I mean ever look
upon my sketch book or it will be the last thing you ever see you hear me?”
Frank nodded profusely staring into the eyes that frightened him so much.
“And next you run into me like that I will make sure you don’t walk” and with
that Gerard put Frank down and proceeded to punch Frank in the stomach and
storm away. From the force of the punch Frank crippled to the floor, his
stomach burning.
“There’s baby Frankie again crying his wittle eyes out for his mommy” laughed
Ray. With this Frank wiped his face and stood up slapping Ray in the face.
“What the fuck! Why’d you do that? Wimp can’t stand to be teased. Any who guess
you and Gerard are great friends now! He even has taken to drawing you now!”
Ray stated.
So that’s why the picture of the boy looked so familiar! It was him, Frank!
Strange to be drawing him though…
“Anyway got to go lots of important shit to fuck up so see you later midget”
Ray said as he turned and left leaving Frank to again think about the strange
kid named Gerard. Frank then began to walk down the hallway to get to his room.
He stopped suddenly seeing Gerard at the end of the hall conversing with Bob!
His friend Bob. Why was Gerard talking with him? Suddenly Frank went over to
the two and tapped Bob on his shoulder. Bob jumped at the touch and turned to
face Frank.
Bob then smiled at Frank and turned to leave waving at the two as he did. Frank
was perplexed by the whole situation that he almost forgot who he was standing
next to. Almost. Frank turned and ran down the hallway and slamming the door
shut to his room. Frank then went to his bed and fell asleep not bothering to
get up for dinner.
Finally after what felt like years, Frank finally slept and didn't wake up till
the morning.
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks for reading again! Look its longer c:
***** Day 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     First encounters
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Gerard’s P.O.V.*
Gerard hadn’t slept at all last night. All he could think about was the strange
new kid Frank. He did feel a little bad for punching him in the stomach because
it was kinda his fault that he and Frank collided but, goddammit he shouldn’t
have looked at his sketchbook! Thats the only reasoning that Gerard could
figure out for punching the poor frightened kid in the stomach. After finally
justify his anger Gerard really wonder if Frank could see Bob. I mean he
touched Bob but, Frank could have just been acting, right?
Gerard deliberated this all night long while doodling in his sketchbook, and
when a nurse came to wake him up, Gerard was waiting for her ready to go. As he
strolled down the hallway he decided to finally talk to Frank.
Upon arriving in the dining hall, Gerard was disappointed at not seeing Frank
at the table opposite of Gerards. Frowning Gerard grabbed some eggs and toast
and sat down and distracted himself with his sketchbook periodically looking up
to see if Frank had come to the hall yet. Eventually it was time for group
therapy, Gerards favorite part of everyday! As Gerard found a spot in the
circle Frank still had not arrived. This bothered Gerard but he tried to
dismiss Frank.
“Alright everyone I think to day we will do a partner activity to tell each
other what’s been going on in the past day!” Dr. Friedman said cheerfully.
“Fucking perfect” Gerard muttered barely audible but, of course stupid Friedman
heard!
“What did you say Gerard? Please speak up!” Friedman said eyeing Gerard
suspiciously.
“Oh nothing Dr. Friedman! I just said I was suuuuppppper excited to share my
feelings with one of the other patients! It’s been my dream to share with other
mentally ill people!” Gerard said sweetness practically dripping off of each
word he spoke.
“Oh I’m very glad to see you actually want to participate Gerard! In that case
I think I will partner you with Nicholas! I think you too will be great
together” Friedman said, amusement shining bright in her eyes.
Now first things first Friedman’s a bitch a complete and utter flaming asshole.
Why? Well Nicholas is a special case. Nicholas suffers from multiple
personality disorder. And they're not normal personalities.Oh no not a really
shy person, to a mad person, to a sarcastic one. Oh HELL no! Nicholas goes from
a paranoid person who hides under everything, to a child that thinks he’s a
plan or some other moving thing. But we aren't done there! No Nicholas goes
into a homicidal maniac ( if you’re lucky then you don't have to hear him
speak) then to his most annoying phase where he won’t shut up about aliens and
the predictions they planted in his head.
Friedman’s a bitch. Period. End of Story.
As Gerard begrudgingly sat in front of Nicholas, Gerard noticed that Frank was
still not around. The thoughts about Frank quickly disappeared as Gerard
realized that Nicholas’s face was literally inches from his own.
“Get the fuck out of my face alien boy” Gerard growled.
“But but i neeeeeeeeed to tell you about the future! Your future! You
neeeeeeeed to hear it the aliens told-”
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Or you won’t have a tongue to tell anyone anything. Got
it?” Gerard said low so Friedman didn’t hear. Suddenly all the fear that Gerard
had but into the boys face washed away as he stood up and started to run around
making plane sounds. Gerard was done with this “therapy” so he stormed out into
the hallway and decided to go check Frank’s room to see if he was there. As
Gerard looked in Frank’s room through the small window he noticed that no one
was occupying the room at the moment and decided to snoop around. As Gerard
stepped in the room he noticed that the room looked as if no one lived in it.
Except for the bed, it looked as if there was something red in the sheets.
As Gerard stepped closer to the sheets Bob walked right in front of him
abruptly stopping Gerard from seeing the sheets.
“You should leave Gerard before you get caught, you don’t need to end up in
solitary again. We all know how you enjoyed it last time.” Bob smirked.
“Shut up Bob, what do you even know?” Gerard retorted.
“I know your ass should be somewhere else. I know you don’t want to be back in
solitary. And I also know you don’t need to know what’s on these sheets. I
suggest you leave.”
“Wheres the new kid?”
“You don’t need to know, it doesn't concern you.”
With that last remark Gerard shoved Bob out of the way to look upon on the
sheets. It confused him at first thinking it was paint or ink but, upon really
looking at it he could see the browning edges around the red stained on the
sheets.
“What? What happened?” Gerard questioned turning around to face Bob who was
gone. Gerard really didn’t understand why the blood was on the sheets but
decided he better leave before he was caught snooping. As he left he took one
last look around Frank’s room frowning. Did he, Gerard, cause this bleeding?
Was it due to his punching Frank’s stomach?
He shook that thought as he went to his room to doodle in his sketchbook. For
some reason he kept drawing Frank. He didn’t know why but it’s all he could get
out on the pages. They weren’t Gerard’s best drawings but, he really hadn’t had
the time to study Frank’s features. Maybe one day Frank would let Gerard draw
him? No he didn’t need to deal with the punk kid.
After a while Gerard left his room to see if lunch was being served. When he
arrived in the dining hall he could smell the putrid smell of what they called
“soup”. He grabbed a bowl of the sludge and sat at his table. He didn’t bother
to look around he just figured Frank wasn’t there and well he wasn’t. After
lunch all of the patients went outside, except Gerard. He preferred to have
some quiet time alone in the “lounge” room. Soon enough Gerard was settled on a
couch doodling in his sketchbook.
He was so wrapped up in doodling he almost missed the movement in the corner of
his eye. When he looked up he saw Frank standing there looking out the small
windows behind Gerard. Gerard caught himself admiring Frank. Although he was
short and thin he had some muscle on him, not a lot but it he looked really
nice that way. And his short black and cute face with round hazel eyes. And his
lips, nope not going there. I don't find the twerp attractive. Gerard quickly
looked away trying not to think about Frank.
After a while of Gerard ignoring Frank’s existence one of the nurses informed
them that dinner was being served. Frank quickly followed after her and Gerard
took his time. He didn’t know what to do but he had decided he wanted to try
and talk to the kid so he grabbed a plate of prison food, sorry hospital food
and plopped himself down in front of Frank.
The surprise on Frank’s face made Gerard stifle a laugh.
“Well hello Frank nice to meet you.” They both sat staring at each other
awkwardly until Gerard decided to try what he guessed was spaghetti. He looked
up in the middle of putting some of the noodles in his mouth to see that Frank
had pushed his food away from him and had his knees pressed up to his chest,
arms wrapped around his legs as to protect himself. Gerard almost felt sorry
that he sat here.
“So uh, Frank don’t you ever eat?’” Gerard said. Frank shook his head to say
yes.
“Well I’ve never seen you eat and you’ve been here for what three days now?
Don’t you think you should try to at least? I mean I know it’s shit but its
better than you think!” Gerard said.
Frank smiled amusement on his face. With that Frank reached out and grabbed a
fork full of his food and stuck it in his mouth. Gerard realized immediately
that around his wrist were bandages. With the dots all connected Gerard stood
up trying to hold tears back.
“I’m so sorry Frank.” And with that Gerard was running down the hall to his
room crying.
Chapter End Notes
     Hello! Look i made another longish chapter c: Thanks again for
     reading!
***** Two Points of View *****
Chapter Summary
     Most is revealed
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Frank’s P.O.V*
Frank didn’t understand why Gerard apologized to him. Frank didn’t understand
why he ran from him either. Frank didn’t understand Gerard. He thought for sure
Gerard would definitely laugh or make fun of him because of the bandages around
his wrist but, instead his eyes softened. He didn’t think Gerard had that side
of him. Though he really didn’t know Gerard.
Frank couldn’t get the image of Gerard’s eyes out of his head. They were so raw
and exposed, they showed pain, fear, sorrow pain, a stark contrast to Gerard’s
normal eyes. Frank also couldn’t understand why Gerard tried to be nice to him
and sit with him! What was that about? Maybe because of Bob, he wanted to talk
to him? Gerard made his head hurt, and ironically they hadn’t said more than a
few sentences to him.
As Frank stumbled down the hall to the dining hall he mulled over the thought
of Gerard sitting with him again. When he sat down at his own table he look
over to Gerard’s. Frank frowned as he realized Gerard’s back was to him.
Looking back at his cereal he heard his name called from a fat nurse. Frank
walked up to the nurse she instructed him to go to Dr. Friedman’s office for an
individual emergency therapy session. This really unnerved him due to two
facts: 1. He had decided he hated Dr. Friedman and 2. He really didn’t want to
discuss what he did. Frank knocked on her door and heard her say “come in!” He
walked in and sat in a really uncomfortable squeaky chair.
“Now Frank what you did yesterday night was not acceptable. Do you hear me?”
Without letting Frank nod or anything she continued. “I don’t know what you
were thinking or how you found that sharp item to hurt yourself with! Next time
you want to hurt yourself or even think about killing yourself I want you to
come and talk to me about it. We were lucky John found you in time our you’d be
dead, do you understand that? Is that what you want? Death? Frank you have so
much to live-” and with that Frank stormed out not wanting to hear Friedmans
bullshit. Frank wanted to die and everytime he had almost succeded he failed.
He was a failure he could never do anything right. That’s what his parents
always told him as they pushed him out the front door, telling him never to
return. Frank wasn’t loved, wanted, he was a failure. Finally after running
down the hall he collapsed into his bed tears flooding out as he cried
everything out and falling to sleep.
*Gerard’s P.O.V*
Gerard had avoided Frank at breakfast he didn’t know how to approach him. He
didn’t want to deal with Frank he knew he would get too involved with him
because he reminded him of someone he wasn’t sure who though.
“Gerard visitor” a male nurse said to him after breakfast.
Gerard followed the nurse to where he assumed was where visitors were supposed
to be seen. He had never had a visitor in the year he had been in the hell hole
they called a hospital. When he turned the corner a thin man with brown hair
was sitting, nervously shaking his leg looking around. As Gerard made his way
around the table he sat down and look at the kid and realized who it was. It
was Mikey! His baby brother! Gerard smiled missing his brother immensely.
“How have you been Gerard?” Mikey said smiling.
“How’d you get here Mum and Dad would never let you come?”
“I took the bus and walked the rest of the way. I told them I was going to
Brian’s house. I just had to see you Gee, I’ve missed you so much.” Mikey said
holding back tears.
“It’s okay Mikes I’m really glad you came. How have you been in this past
year?”
“Oh fine”
“Don’t you dare lie to me Michael James Way! You tell me right now if you done
it again or if you’ve been having those thoughts again right now.”
Mikey hung his head. “When you were taken away a year ago I was hospitalized
because I tried to kill myself again, this time swallowing a whole bottle of
pills. Once I got home from that I continued to cut for a bit but I also
started to drink a bit. It it helped me forget for a bit but Mum noticed and
started taking me to therapy which has helped a bit but occasionally a still
slip and cut myself.”
Holding back tears Gerard said: “When was the last time Mikes?”
“Yesterday”
“Let me see it NOW!” Mikey rolled up his left sleeve tears rolling down his
cheeks. Gerard looked down upon Mikey’s arm to see two fresh puffy cuts among
all his old scars.
“Is this all you did? And don’t even think about lying to me Michael.” Gerard
demanded. Mikey rolled up his other sleeve showing Gerard four other cuts on
his arm.
“Oh, Mikes how could you do this? Is it really that bad? Oh Mikey, I’m so
sorry, I wish I could fix this. I wish I could make you better. I wish I wasn’t
in here so I could be there to protect you Mikes and to help you. I’m so sorry
Mikey please forgive me Mikes I should've never let my anger get the best of
me.”
“Gerard it’s not your fault.” Mikey said barely audible.
“But it is Mikey! It’s all my fault I should have been there for you! I’m your
older brother I should be there to protect you!”
“Gerard are you still seeing Bob and Ray and all your other friends?”
“Ya but, Mikes what does that have to do with anything?” Gerard said frowning.
“I have to go Gerard. I will try to stop by again. I love you Gee, try and get
better for me please?”
Gerard didn’t know what he had to do to get better but he didn’t want to argue.
“I love you too Mikey, and I’ll try as long as you try too, okay?”
“Okay Gee” and on that note the two Way brothers hugged before Mikey left
waving as he went.
Chapter End Notes
     Hi, so this chapter kinda sucks because i wasn't sure how to reveal
     it all. Thanks for reading!
***** Overcoming Obstacles *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Gerard’s P.O.V*
Gerard walked out of the visitors area and into the dining hall. Gerard was
sniffling and wiping at his eyes to make sure that no one could tell he was
crying. As he entered he realized it was lunch time so he grabbed some food and
made his way over to the back of the room. without thinking he plopped down in
front of Frank.
“Hey” is all Gerard muttered as he sat looking at his food. He didn’t look up
when he heard a scratching noise. In a few seconds a small notebook came into
his line of vision. He then read “Are you okay?” written by Frank. Gerard
looked up at him and shook his head, averting his eyes from Frank’s. Frank took
the notebook back and wrote “If you want to talk about it I’m here to listen.”
Gerard looked up at Frank and saw Mikey. The way Frank looked at him right this
minute reminded him so much of Mikey he had to swallow and look up at the
ceiling to stop himself from breaking down and crying right there.
He decided today was just too much for him. He had felt to many emotions today
more than he’d felt in all his life. It had hurt him so much knowing that he
couldn’t be there for Mikes, to comfort him, to stop him from hurting. His
stupid fucking “parents” never cared or noticed before, and he realized that
even now they wouldn’t. You’d think after losing one kid to a mental asylum
they’d care, but they were self-absorbed assholes. They weren’t there the first
time Mikey slit his wrist open and almost died in his bed, Gerard had. And now
he couldn’t. He closed his eyes and willed all his shity feelings away and felt
only anger boil up.
He opened his eyes and looked straight into Frank’s and said with as much force
as he could muster, “I don’t need to talk about anything. I don’t need help I’m
fine. You Frank? You need help, and I know you aren't going to get it from the
bitch Friedman.” And with that he left stalking to his room fuming with anger
even punching the wall a couple times as he went.
*Frank’s P.O.V.*
Frank didn’t know what to think or feel about Gerard. This seemed to Frank a
common theme with Gerard. He was mad at Gerard hurting him so much, but at the
same time he felt sorry for Gerard because he knew there was so much pain
behind his anger and emptiness he showed in his eyes.
Frank decided to saunter down to Gerard’s room even though he probably regret
it later. He didn’t know what to say to him but, he just felt like it was the
right thing to do. As he was about to knock he looked over his shoulder and saw
Bob nodding and smiling, as if approving of his actions. Frank blinked and Bob
was gone. Frank then knocked on Gerard’s door and walked in. Gerard didn’t
bother looking up from sketching in his book so Frank stood awkwardly by the
door. Finally Frank walked over in front of Gerard and started waving his arms
around in front of him hoping to get his attention. When this proved not
successful Frank sat down next to Gerard’s bed and began to write in his
notebook.
“You’re right, I do need help and Friedman hasn’t helped, she just lectures.
I’m not the only one who needs help though, i know something bothers you
constantly and that’s why you keep people away from you. We both need help.”
And with that he stood and handed it to Gerard. Gerard took it huffing as he
did and read it.
“You’re right Frank I do need help, but I don’t know how to be helped Frank.
Bob and Ray and my other friends help sometimes but everyone says I'm
hallucinating. Also they seem to be showing up less and less and i just don’t
know what to do.” Gerard said, still not making eye contact.
Frank grabbed his notebook and began to write: “Maybe we can help each other?
And I know what you mean I rarely see them anymore and it scares me because I
know I’m losing them and I’m not sure if I can handle it.”
Gerard read this and his face hardened. Frank began to feel wary about Gerard.
“You know Ray and Bob? And the others? You better not be lying to me Frank or
so help me God.”
Frank quickly wrote down “Yes, I know them they been with me since forever. I
wouldn’t lie to you about this. Please don’t be mad at me!”
Gerard read this and his face softened slightly, for a second Frank thought he
imagined it. Then Gerard looked at him his eyes searching to see if Frank was
lying. Apparently he found nothing insincere in Frank’s eyes because he moved
over in his bed and motioned for Frank to sit next to him. Frank complied
making sure to not touch Gerard as he sat. Gerard looked at him funny due to
the fact that Frank was practically sitting on the opposite side of the bed as
if Gerard had a disease.
Frank quickly scribbled down “I don’t like to be touched.” Gerard nodded
understanding.
“Frank why did you cut yourself?” Gerard muttered. Frank really didn’t want to
talk about it but he figured he needed to and felt, strangely, more comfortable
with Gerard than with Friedman.
Sighing he began to write. “I don’t know why I did it. I just felt so empty and
alone. I felt scared. I felt that I was going to be forgotten again. I felt
worthless just like my parents said. I just felt everything and nothing at the
same time. The only way I knew how to do anything about it was to cut, but this
time I think I actually wanted to die again. I actually wish the nurse hadn’t
found me.” Crying Frank gave the book to Gerard. As Gerard read his eyes began
to fill with tears. When he was done he looked at Frank and said “I’m so sorry
Frank, I will always be here for you, I promise.” And with that he hugged
Frank. Frank tried to get away but Gerard’s grip held him tight, eventually
Frank relaxed and realized that having Gerard’s arms around him wasn’t that
bad. He felt safe and protected something he had never really experienced
before. When Gerard finally let him go he smiled at Frank and wiped Frank’s
tears away.
“I’m so sorry Frank, but I will be here to protect you.” Gerard said smiling.
“Th-than-thank y-you.” Frank stuttered out due the lack of him using his voice.
Gerard looked shocked but nodded and went back to drawing in his sketchbook.
After a bit a nurse came in to tell it was time to eat. When the nurse realized
it wasn’t just Gerard in the room he raised an eyebrow and left. They both left
together and sat at Frank’s table to eat. Frank wasn’t going to eat but, Gerard
gave him a look that was if telling him to eat, so he did. After dinner they
split up and went to their own rooms. Frank tried to sleep but he couldn’t so
he just sat and looked out the tiny window in his room, trying to see if he
could see any stars. After a bit of this a light flooded his room and Gerard
walked in.
“Hey, uh I hope I’m not intruding but, I couldn’t sleep and Bob told me to come
and see you.” Gerard said nervously. Frank motioned for him to sit next to him
on the bed. “Couldn’t sleep either?” Gerard asked. Frank nodded.
They sat for a while and finally Gerard said “You remind me of my little
brother, Mikey.” Then Gerard wrapped an arm around Frank and Frank rested his
head on Gerard’s shoulder. After a while Frank’s eyes began to shut and as he
fell asleep he, finally felt what it was like to be cared for.
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks again for reading!
***** Stupid Friedman *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Frank P.O.V.*
Frank woke up wrapped up in someones arms. For a second Frank panicked, then
relaxed as he remembered it was only Gerard. He tried to turn over to see
Gerard's face but, Gerard’s arms were very tight around him so he decided to
try and fall back to sleep again. Right as Frank was beginning to drift off
into sleep Gerard started to untangle himself from Frank. Frank looked over at
Gerard and he smiled down at him.
“Sleep well Frank?” Gerard said. Frank nodded and smiled back at him. Frank
caught himself thinking about how cute Gerard was in the morning with his hair
all tossed back and not in his face. His hazel eyes all sleepy and relaxed.
Frank quickly shook those thoughts and got up to go to the bathroom and splash
his face with water trying to wake up. As Frank looked in the small plastic
mirror secured to the wall all he thought about was how ugly and fat he had
gotten in the few day he had been in this hospital. Sighing Frank went back
into his room and felt a little disappointed at not seeing Gerard. Frank
decided to change then go and see if Gerard was in the dining hall.
After he had changed into the stupid white pajamas that are standard for every
patient, Frank walked to the dining hall. He grabbed some cereal and saw Gerard
sitting at his usual table busy scribbling in his book. Frank was debating
whether it was a good idea to sit with Gerard or not, when Gerard looked up and
smiled at him. Frank smiled back and sat across from Gerard.
“Frank you should eat you don’t look so great.” Frank frowned at Gerard, he
really didn’t want to eat, he felt fat and gross. He knew that eating would
only make him feel worse so he shook his head at Gerard.
“Frank please eat” Gerard pleaded with him. Frank crossed his arms and shook
his head again feeling quite childish doing so but, finally Gerard left him
alone. Gerard did frown at him disapprovingly, which made Frank feel very
guilty but he wasn’t going to give in and eat so he sat and waited till group
therapy was called.
After what felt like hours went by a nurse called for them to make their way to
therapy and they all shuffled in. Frank sat down in the circle and Gerard sat
down next to him, making Frank smile inwardly.
“Hello everyone! It’s great to see you all! I think today will be just our
normal going around the circle and sharing how we’ve been recently, okay?” Dr.
Friedman walked in saying cheerfully.
“Yippee!” Gerard muttered under his breath.
“Oh I’m glad you’re so excited Gerard, you can start us off then!” Friedman
said.
“Okay Dr. Friedman. Well I’ve been feeling absolutely, completely, fucking,
fantastic really. I mean I just love everything being so white in this prison,
I mean facility, It’s just so fucking brilliant!” Gerard said every word
dripping with sarcasm.
Cooly Friedman said “Nice to hear Gerard now we are going to move on to Frank.
Frank how’ve you been?” Frank looked at Gerard and saw his anger growing
towards Friedman who hadn’t reacted to what Gerard had said the way he had
planned. Frank then looked at Friedman and shook his head.
“Frank I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. I want you to talk about how you
are feeling.” Friedman said her eyes never leaving Frank’s. Frank again shook
his head, but she wouldn’t leave him alone.
“Frank if you don’t want to speak then write it down.” Frank shook his head
again, he didn’t want to share anything.
“Frank-” Friedman tried to say but was cut off by Gerard saying “Leave him the
fuck alone, if he doesn't want to share with you or anybody else then he
doesn’t have too.” Friedman looked at Gerard with such surprise in her eyes. As
she was about to say something to him, Gerard grabbed his hand and towed him
out of the room and down the hall to Gerard’s room.
“God, I fucking hate that bitch Friedman! She thinks she’s God! She’s fucking
no one!” Gerard screamed once they got to his room. Frank sat down on his bed
while Gerard stalked around seething with anger.
“She can’t leave anyone alone! God she pisses me off so much!” And with that
gerard punched the wall. Frank was really scared watching Gerard scream and hit
the walls. Finally Gerard sat down next to Frank on the bed, breathing heavily
from throwing himself around. Frank looked at Gerard’s hands and saw that he
had split some of the skin on his knuckles from punching the walls. Frank got
up and went to the bathroom to get a wet towel. He then walked over to Gerard
and sat down in front of him and began to wash the blood off of his hands.
Gerard’s breathing had finally calmed and he looked up at Frank and muttered
“Thanks.” Frank could see that the anger still hadn’t left Gerard’s eyes yet so
Frank got up to leave.
“Uh Frank, um would you like to stay?” Gerard muttered. Frank shook his head
and sat down next to him on the bed.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry this is kinda short! thanks for reading!
***** Perfection Ruined *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Gerard’s P.O.V.*
I’m glad Frank decided to stay, he makes me feel better. Frank had fallen
asleep next to me on the bed. This gave me time to perfect a drawing of him. I
had drawn him a thousand times from only memory. They were never that great
but, now he could draw the beautiful face in front of him. He looked so
peaceful and innocent in his sleep unlike when he was awake. When he was awake
he always looked so scared. This moment was perfect, I could draw Frank the way
I wanted to not missing any details. Drawing all of his visible tattoos and
studying every curve and shadow on Frank’s face. It was possibly the only time
he could do this without being creepy.
“It’s creepy to draw him, whether you think it is or not.” Ray stated. God I
hate that fucking bastard I prefer Bob to him anyday. At least Bob didn’t piss
him off as bad.
“What the fuck do you want Ray? Don’t you have someones ass to go kiss?” I
threw back at him.
“Sorry son I don’t like ass, I’m more of a boob person but, I see you have a
thing for Frank’s ass hmm?” Ray stated eyes challenging my own.
“GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. RAY.” I screamed in his face. I was not in the mood for
his bullshit. He had ruined my moment. I was peaceful and happy and there was
Ray to fucking ruin it.
“Gerard what's wrong?” Frank wrote concern showing in his eyes.
“Nothing, it was just Ray being fucking Ray, you can go back to sleep if you’d
like.” I stated, Ray had already left so now he just had to worry about Frank.
Frank nodded before placing his head back on the pillow and his eyes slowly
shutting. I looked back at my drawing, before deciding to draw another one of
him. About half way through my drawing I heard sniffling and looked to see
Frank crying in his sleep. This practically broke my heart, he looked just like
Mikey when he was just a child. Frank was curled up into a small ball sobs
racking his small body as tears ran from his closed eyes.
I was unsure what to do for Frank. I decided to lie down next to Frank and
stroke his hair and rub his back, hoping to calm him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled in
between sobs. I didn’t know what he was dreaming about but, all I knew was I
wanted him not to feel so sad. I hugged the small, sleeping, crying boy tight
whispering “It’s okay” To him until he finally calmed and fell into a deep
sleep. Soon I followed suit.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry I haven't posted in a while and that this is so short! I have
     been sick recently as I have a really bad immune system then my mum
     had surgery. I'll try to be better!
***** Frank's story *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Frank’s P.O.V.*
I woke up to a Gerard wrapped around me. I felt myself smile at how safe and
happy I was in this position. I looked over at him to see his sleepy face
smiling back, his hair a total mess. He was adorable.
“Good mornin’ Frankie” he said sleepily. “Frank yesterday after you uh, fell
asleep you um, you started crying and shaking. I was wondering what caused you
to feel so so uh, sad. Do you remember why you were crying?” I shook my head, I
did remember the dream it was vivid, it was a memory that I could never get out
of my head. It always haunted me in my dreams but, I didn’t want to share it
with Gerard. I had just got him to like me, I didn’t want to lose him because
of it.
“Frank I know you’re lying to me. Whatever it is, I can help you through it.” I
shook my head again and wrote “You wouldn’t think of me the same after I told
you. I don't want to lose you.”
“Frankie whatever it I won’t think of you differently. And I promise you, you
won’t ever get rid of me. I’ll be here till you don’t want me, and then I will
still stick around.” Gerard said smiling. I believed him. Every word, his
honesty showed through. I nodded beginning to write out my dream, my memory, my
nightmare.
“It was about a year ago, I got home and my parents were waiting for me sitting
on the couch. I knew something was wrong when I walked in. My mom told me to
sit down, my dad wouldn’t even look at me. Finally he told me that they had
enough of my shit and that they were disowning me and to never come back. They
gave me a bag of clothes and basically shoved me out the door. I didn’t know
where to go so I just kept walking. I didn’t have many friends that actually
had a place I could stay so I wandered through the town. Finally, after a while
I was exhausted so I decided to sit down in an ally to sleep. When I was almost
asleep I felt arms grab my shoulders and pull me up and smash me against the
wall. This guy was huge and smelled of alcohol he yelled at me and started to
rip my clothes off. I tried to fight but he was so much stronger than me.” I
finished writing my hands shaking and tears running down my cheeks. Gerard took
the paper and read it, the whole time shaking his head. As he reached the end
of what I had wrote he had tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He looked
at me and whispered “I’m so sorry Frankie, this should've never happened to
you. I promise on my life that I will never let something like this happen to
you ever again. You’re safe with me Frankie.” With that Gerard hugged me tight,
tears running down both of our cheeks.
We stayed like this until a nurse came in to inform us to go to the dining
area. We she saw that it wasn’t just Gerard in the room her eyes widened in
surprise. She didn’t say anything else but, she quickly left. We walked down
the hall in a peaceful silence. When we got to the hall we grabbed some food
and sat down at our table. I wasn’t going to eat my food but, Gerard gave me a
look telling me to eat, so I obliged. After a bit a nurse came and told Gerard
that he had an appointment with Dr. Friedman now, and to go to her office now.
I really didn’t want him to leave, but he had to go. He got up looking very
unhappy with having to meet with Dr. Friedman but, left anyway.
I didn’t know what to do since he left so I played with what was left of my
cereal. After a bit I realized someone was standing in front of my table. I
looked up to see a patient with crazy hair and hate filled eyes staring at me.
“So you’re the mute. Looks like you’re boyfriends not going to save you this
time faggot.”
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry it's short again and I kinda left you hanging again.
***** Solitary Confinement *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Gerard’s P.O.V*
I really didn’t want to leave him but, Friedman wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t
at least show up. Plus, I don’t think the nurse was going to leave until I did
so my only choice was to leave Frank. l walked down the hall to her office,
when I got there I didn’t knock, I just walked in and flopped down on one of
her stupid chairs.
“That’s very rude Gerard, you don’t need to act like that. Now you better not
come into this office again like that you hear me?” Without letting me respond
she continued talking. “I see you are very fond of Frank. And I frankly, don’t
like the two of you being close, especially the way you act Gerard.”
“I think I don’t need to be here, so long and fuck you!” I then proceeded with
getting up and slamming the door as hard as I could to get my point across. I
walked down the hallway just glad I was done with her, and the added benefit of
being able to talk with Frank more. When I walked into the dining hall I saw
another patient looming over Frank, this really concerned me, so I quickened my
pace to get to Frank. When I was only halfway across the room I saw the fear in
Frank’s eyes as the guy talked to him. Then when I was only a few feet from
Frank the guy punched Frank in the face, with a loud snap Frank’s head twisted
to the side and he crumpled to the floor. As I saw this occur venom seemed to
fill my veins and cause my anger to boil up inside me, fueling my hate. I don’t
remember what happened next it all seemed to go black. When things began to
clear up I saw the patient underneath me bloody and barely moving as I was
pulled off of him by some nurses. My mind went straight to Frank and I saw him
clutching his face, eyes wide with fear looking at me. Then everything went
black again as I was sedated. Great.
I woke up, what I assumed was only a few hours later and looked around. I had
been put in solitary freakin confinement. I didn’t think it was possible but
the walls and furniture in this room were whiter than the other ones in this
prison. I wonder if Frankie was really scared of me now. I mean from what I can
tell I beat the kid with in an inch of his life. Frank was right to fear me, I
was an awful person. If he only knew what I did before I got into this
hellhole. It was good for Frank to be scared of me. I needed him to hate me. It
would be better if he did, then I couldn’t hurt him, and he couldn’t hurt me.
I decided to stay in solitary confinement for as long as I could. There was no
sense in me leaving I had nothing of importance to do outside of this room.
Plus, the longer I stayed in here the more, I hope, Frank would hate me. It had
to be this way. Whenever a nurse would come in I would attack them. When my
food got delivered half the time I would just throw them at the wall, causing
them to be not so florescent white. It went on for this for about a week and I
was happy to stay in here, except I didn’t have my sketchbook so I was bored to
tears. Although to solve that I began taking the spoons and trying to carve
things into the walls and furniture. The biggest dent I made was a carved G in
the wall. Soon though they figured out what I was doing and stopped sending
utensils in with my food. Bob and Ray rarely came. When Bob came he just told
me to stop being so selfish, and that Frank “needed me.” Bullshit, and the fuck
out Bob would be all I said.
One time Bob threw a pillow at me and told me I was killing Frank by being such
a dick. He didn’t come back but, Dr. Friedman did. This time I knew something
was wrong when she came in. Usually she was a happy, chirpy, annoying person,
but today she didn’t even smile. She came in her eyes downcast and sat down
without even looking at him.
“How are you Gerard?” She said very quietly.
“Just peachy, and yourself?”
“Don’t you want to know how Frank is?” She said finally making eye contact with
him.
“No, I really don’t care what he’s doing.” Actually that was a lie I did want
to know if he hated me or something but, I really didn’t want to ask.
“Really? You don’t care that he slit his wrist open? You don’t want to know
that he barely ate anything for two weeks? You don’t want to know that in his
letter he said you promised to be there for him and then you refused to come
out of solitary confinement? You don’t want to know that your actions caused
him to attempt suicide again? Really Gerard are you sure you don’t want to hear
about it? For once in your life Gerard don’t you care?” She screamed at me
angrily. After finishing her yelling she stormed out of the room. I felt
something hot run down my face and I realized I was crying. I realized I had
broken my promise. I realized that Frank didn’t hate me he needed me and I was
a dick. I was selfish, just like Bob said. It was all my fault and I couldn’t
get my head out of my ass to see that Frankie really needed me. And then he
slit his wrists. The only thing left in my head was the thought, the
possibility of him being dead.
Chapter End Notes
     Im sorry I'm kinda evil letting the ending be this. Okay im evil
     anyway thanks for reading!
***** I Love You *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Frank’s P.O.V.*
It’s been over a week now. I haven’t seen him since he beat that kid. Leaving
him bloody and broken because the kid hurt me. I had been afraid of Gerard at
that moment. I mean who wouldn’t be scared of a guy holding down someone much
bigger than himself beating the crap out of him. And the look in his eyes,
empty and venomous. Once he was pulled away though and he saw me, his eyes
soften with concerned. And now he’s in solitary confinement. I haven’t been
eating much, no ones here reminding me to eat, so I don’t. Bob’s been yelling
at me but, I really don’t care for his opinion. And Ray, well he just makes fun
of me saying I miss my boyfriend. I do miss Gerard he was supposed to be here
with me, to help me he promised. I mean it’s not his fault that he’s stuck in
confinement. He should be coming out soon though.
Also since he’s not been here more people have been making fun of me and using
me as punching bag. I just really can’t stand it anymore, Gerard needs to come
out. I decided to ask Friedman when he was supposed to be able to leave. She
just looked at me and told me that once he stopped, attacking the nurses and
throwing stuff at the walls he’d be able to leave confinement. I ran from her,
straight to my room. Gerard was purposely staying in solitary confinement. Why?
He’s supposed to be there for me whenever I need him and he won’t help me.
I’ve convinced myself that he was lying to me the whole time. He had used me.
He was probably only talking to me and hanging out with me as a joke. Let’s see
if we can fuck with the kid that doesn’t speak or like to be touched! That
should be great fun! Oh! While we are at it why don’t we just make the kid
trust us, then get him to spill his guts so we can laugh at him behind his
back! Sounds like a plan!
He should of never trusted Gerard or Ray or Bob. What the hell did they know?
Gerard didn’t need me to help him. I needed him though. Or I thought I did.
Fucking Bob and Ray! They should've just let him alone and not got him stuck in
here. He was not meant to be here, he wasn’t mental.
I decided to just kill myself. Gerard's never coming out of that room if I’m
still here. He doesn’t like me, he just likes to be around me to laugh at me.
You know what’s funny? I actually really liked him. No, I loved him, or was
beginning to fall in love with him. I never thought I would ever be in love but
here I was. And here he wasn’t. Gerard would never love him. Who would love a
boy who had been ruined like he was. No one would. So this was the end for
Frank. No one cared about him, so no one would stop him or miss him as he
passed. His parents wouldn’t even know he was dead. They had disowned him. I
was left with no one.
I decided the night it rained to do it. I went into my little bathroom and saw
myself in the mirror. I was so pale, my cheeks sunken in and purple bruises
under my eyes from not sleeping. The clothes I wore were too big on my frame. I
took my shirt off exposing my clearly shown ribs and collar bones sticking out,
with numerous bruises all over. I was basically a walking skeleton at this
point. I got some pills that I hadn't taken that the nurses had been trying to
get me to take, and swallowed them all, about 20 in total. Then I decided that
if I was going to make sure I died I sliced my wrists open and watched as my
life drained into the sink. Soon I began to feel dizzy so I layed on the floor
crying. I would never be able to tell Gerard I loved him, or that he broke his
promise face to face he’d just have to read my note. As everything started to
go black around I saw Bob’s face. From what I could see he was saying something
like “Oh God Frank! What did you do?” tears began to fall from his eyes. I
assumed he tried to stop the bleeding but I was too far gone. As everything
went black the last though I had was would Gerard even care that I killed
myself?
Chapter End Notes
     Frankieeeee
     I'm still sorry about letting you hang but, after the next chapter
     maybe all will be revealed? This story though might be coming to an
     end soon though. Thanks again for reading this far even though you
     probably hate me right now.
***** His Note *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Gerard’s P.O.V*
 
Friedman still won’t tell me if he’s still alive. Honestly it’s killing me not
knowing. If he’s dead I don’t think I could live with all the guilt and regret.
I’ve been good, I don’t throw my food anymore or attack the nurses anymore.
 
“Hello Gerard, it’s good to hear that you aren't beating up any of the nurses.”
Friedman said scaring me out of my thoughts.
 
“When can I leave? Is Frank okay?”
 
“I think if you keep behaving, in a week. Here I want you to read this and
think about it Gerard.” WIth that she handed me a piece of notebook paper that
was folded in half, and left. I knew what it was right away and I was afraid of
what it said. I was afraid that it would be an angry letter telling me to die.
I would total understand that because he should after I left him to defend
himself. What I read was worse than his anger.
 
Dear Gerard,
 
I wish you hadn’t chosen to stay in solitary confinement. It kills me that you
didn’t want to see me anymore. I thought we were friends. You promised to help
me. You did for a while. I wish you would have told me that you didn’t want to
talk to me or see me anymore, I think that would have hurt less than you just
disappearing. That’s all in the past now. I forgive you Gerard, I hope you can
forgive me for whatever I did. I wish I could tell you this in person but, I
will never. Gerard, I love you. I have been falling for you for a while. Hard.
I hope you can forgive me and forget about me. Have a great life Gerard for me.
 
Love,
Frnk xo
 
I was in tears. I couldn’t stop them from falling. He loved me. I was so
stupid, beyond stupid. I had killed him in the end. I was supposed to help him.
My Frankie! The Frank that I had watched in his sleep. His little chest rising
and falling gracefully. The look of serenity on his face. I had taken that from
him. I had taken his perfect smile and his peace. I had taken Frank’s life just
by being an ass. I’ve hurt so many people and, I’ve never noticed it. I’ve hurt
MIkey too. God, how could I be such an ass. It felt as if my heart was breaking
into a million different pieces from the realization of how many people I’ve
hurt that I love.

I love Frank, I’ve realized that now. If he’s still alive I will tell him, and
make him believe it. I can’t hurt anymore people. I need Frank in my life, for
the rest of my life. I love my Frankie.
Chapter End Notes
     so next chapter, is frank still alive? keep reading! im sorry i keep
     holding the answer from you guys.
***** Broken Heart *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Gerard’s P.O.V*
After my week of behaving, which was torture, Friedman finally came to collect
me from solitary confinement. I had bothered Friedman and the nurses everyday,
asking about Frank, but they wouldn’t tell me anything. Finally when I thought
the torture was over Friedman still refused to tell me anything. The first
night back in my room was hard. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to draw which I
had really wanted to do since I was put in confinement, but once I saw all the
drawings that I had done of Frankie, I had no motivation to sketch. I needed to
know Frank was alive, I needed him. I made my way to Frank’s room just to feel
a little closer to him. When I walked in an overpowering smell of bleach burned
my nose.
Everything in Frank’s room was cleaned up, his bed had been made and everything
else put away. It was like he never existed. I began to cry realizing that
Frank, my Frank, was gone. I curled up into his bed sobbing and hoping I was
wrong even though it looked like he was gone. I wrapped the covers around me
inhaling his scent. I fell asleep there with my heart flooding out onto his
pillow.
“Gerard, Gerard hun, you need to wake up.” Friedman said softly while shaking
my shoulder.
“Go away! I don’t want to get up! I just want to stay with Frankie.” As I said
that I began to cry realizing that he wasn’t in the bed with me or even in the
same building.
“Gerard you need to leave this room now. Go and eat. You don’t want to go back
to solitary confinement right?” She said a little more sternly. I complied, I
really didn’t want to go back there. When I sat down in the dining hall I
didn’t even touch my food. I couldn’t eat, I was sick to my stomach with guilt.
I guess one of the nurses saw that I wasn’t eating and informed Friedman
because there she was informing me I had to eat. When I refused she told me to
come with her. Maybe I wouldn’t mind confinement now? I followed her not
looking up from my feet as we went.
“Gerard, look at me. Good, now we are in the medical part of the hospital. Now
I want you to wait out here for a while and I will come back and get you, can
you do that for me?” I nodded, what else could I do? I slid down the wall and
waited. As I looked around the same bleach smell filled my nose. It took
everything I had not to cry right there. The guilt was killing me I just
couldn’t live with it. I couldn’t live without Frankie. After what seemed like
eons, Friedman came and got me from my spot on the floor. She took me past a
couple unoccupied beds and a lot of medical supplies. We also passed a couple
nurses who looked at me with such sympathy in their eyes. Finally we came to a
room with the door closed. Friedman gave me a sad smile and opened the door.
She ushered me into the room and shut the door, leaving me alone in the room.
I turned around to face the bed and that when I saw him. He had bandages
wrapped thickly around his arms. He looked so small and fragile in the big
hospital bed. As I looked at him closer I saw how sunken in his cheeks were,
all his bones sticking out. He looked so ghostly and I had caused this, all of
it. I walked over to him and sat down next to the bed and just cried and
apologized. I held his hand and told him I would never leave, and I’m so sorry
I broke my promise. I told him I was selfish, that I never meant to hurt him
like this.
“I love you Frankie, please forgive me for everything.” I said looking at his
beautiful face. As I finished saying this his eyes fluttered open to look upon
my own.
“I I lo love you too.” He whispered smiling at me.
Chapter End Notes
     yayyyyyyyyyyy
     Thanks for reading!!
***** It's Not Your Time *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
*Frank’s P.O.V*
It was so white and bright. I didn’t know where I was. The last thing I
remember was Bob crying. Why was he crying? Bob didn’t cry. Then it hit me, all
the emotions and memories of Gerard, of everything. I had tried to kill myself
and by the looks of it I had. I was dead. I thought it would be better, but
there's nothing. I fell to my knees crying. I was dead and now I would be
forever alone in this desolate place.
“Frankie it’s okay. Frankie why are you crying?” A man said behind me with his
hand on my shoulder. I whipped around to look at the man, and he reminded me of
someone, he wasn’t really a man, still a kid, with glasses and brown hair.
“Who, who are you?” I said trying to figure out who the kid reminded me of. He
was tall, I guess, and thin really thin.
“Hey, it’s okay I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m Mikey by the way. You
probably don’t know me but, that’s okay, I know you. Also, you know my brother
so don’t worry I’m not here to hurt you I’m here to help you. You see you’re
not supposed to be dead, not yet at least.” This confused me even more. He knew
me? I know his brother? I’m not supposed to be dead?
“Who is you brother? I’m not dead? Why am I here? What’s here? Are you dead?”
Mikey laughed at him due to all his question.
“Whoa one at a time Frank. No, you aren't dead, not yet, you’re kind of in a
coma. As I said before it’s not your time yet, you still have a lot to do! You
have a life to live, one that will be much better than the one you have already
lived. And ya, I’m dead, I wish we could have met under better circumstances,
but at least I got to meet you. And what is here? Well I’m not entirely sure
how to explain it to you, but it’s kinda like a place you go before you go to
heaven or any other place. Oh Frank look who it is! You have to say goodbye to
them before you go on living.” Frank turned around to see Bob and Ray coming
towards them.
“Hey Frank! How are you? I thought we wouldn’t get to see you again!” Bob said
smiling.
“Wait, you guys are dead? Why are you leaving? You can’t leave! I need you!
Please don’t leave me!” I said, tears beginning to flow down my face.
“Oh Frank! Don’t cry now! Oh Frank, you don’t need us anymore, and ya we are
kinda dead, been for a while now. It’s our time finally to leave, I wish we
could have stayed a while longer but, then we would never get to leave.” Bob
said smiling reassuringly at me.
“Hey short stack, don’t worry everything will be better now don’t worry you
small head.”
“Ray! Damn you! Couldn’t you be nice for five minutes! Especially the last five
minutes we will have with Frank?” Bob said scolding Ray. I laughed I was going
to miss them. My only friends that I have. Or I guess now, I had. This made me
cry again, I was going to be alone now.
“Oh Frankie! You aren't going to be alone, don’t worry, you have Gerard now.”
Bob said.
“I don’t want Gerard! He’s a fucking dick! He broke his promise and left me! He
never cared he only wanted me around to laugh at! Why couldn’t I just be dead!”
I screamed at them. Didn’t they understand why I had tried to kill myself?
Didn’t they see what Gerard had done to me?
“Frank listen to me” Mikey said, “Gerard is a dick, I should know, but you see
when he tries to push you away, he thinks he is protecting you. He thinks you
don’t need, because he is so full of anger, and he thinks he’s going to hurt
you. He doesn’t understand that you need him, and that he needs you. Now
believe me Frank, Gerard is a dick, a complete asshole, but he needs you as
much as you need him. Now Frank, Bob, Ray, and I need to leave. When the time
comes I need you to tell Gerard something for me. Also don’t tell him about
this experience until then okay? Can you do that for me?” I nodded. “Okay
Frank, I need you to tell him, that it’s not his fault at all, I forgive him
and he needs to forgive himself because it’s not his fault. Also tell him that
he’s not mental and we all should have believed him, but that I love him, and
to never forget that or me. You got that Frank?” I nodded again.
“Alright Frank we have to go, but we will always be here to watch over you. We
will see you again someday, but not for a long long time. Don’t do anything
stupid Frank.” Bob said smiling. All three of them turned and walked away
fading into a bright light, leaving me sitting and crying. That’s when I heard
something, first it was faint, like a whispering, but soon it got louder. I
felt something touch my hand, but as I looked there was nothing there. I close
my eyes and listened to the voice.
“I love you Frankie, please forgive me for everything.” With that I tried to
open my eyes, while adjusting to the light. As I finally got a good look at the
person, I saw I was in a hospital room.
“I I lo love you too” I said struggling to speak. He was there, Gerard, of
course I was still pissed at him, but I couldn’t deny that I loved him, and he
loved me! Maybe Mikey was right, we do need each other. Who was Mikey?
“Oh god Frank, I’m so sorry, I should have thought about how my actions would
have affected you! Oh god, please forgive me Frank. I’m so sorry.” Gerard said
on the verge of tears. I smiled at him, I wasn’t alone and although I was glad
to see him, I hadn’t totally forgiven him just yet. Friedman came in, and
looked surprised to see me awake.
“Gerard you have to leave now.” Friedman said sternly.
“No no pl please no” I stumbled out, I really didn’t want to be alone in this
room. Friedman's eyes looked as if she had seen a ghost.
“You can speak, huh, well Gerard has to leave he can’t stay in here.” I started
to cry, this room was pretty scary, and I had no one else.
“Please Dr. Friedman let me stay. I promise to behave! I’ll make sure he eats
and doesn’t do anything stupid. It would benefit him if I stayed in here, plus
it’s not like I have anything to do! Please let me stay.” Gerard pleaded. I
nodded furiously behind him, trying to convince her that it would be good for
him to stay.
“I’ll be right back.” She turned quickly and walked out of the room. A few
minutes later she returned.
“Gerard I have cleared it for you to stay, until he is cleared to leave. The
minute I hear something bad happened, I’m going to transfer you to another
facility, do you understand me?” Gerard nodded and Friedman left, leaving them
alone in the room.
Chapter End Notes
     Uh oh what did I do...
     Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been dealing with somethings,
     and schools starting soon, FML. Any way Enjoy!
End Notes
     hi thanks for reading this crap i hope i can make it better! Sorry
     for it being so short I'll try to make the rest longer.
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